#( at least a few of them taught her certain words on purpose don't try to change my mind <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[sylleblosscm]

A thing about Luna’s Insomnia verse that has some unexpected repercussions is the way she responds to the sudden changes in her life upon arriving in the city. Understandably, given how her life has been irreparably altered, she clings to anything remotely familiar. Noctis and Regis give her some comfort, as she already had a rapport with them. Clarus, too, given that he is the one who opened his home and family to her. It’s easy to imagine how distressed and anxious she becomes at the thought of being left alone or going somewhere unfamiliar, which means that, for the first several months or more, she likely held fast to anything she could that felt safe.

 This means many hours inside the citadel; and with the Shield for a guardian, many hours within its training halls. Around the Guard. Dozens of battle-weary people without the airs and graces she was raised with. What I’m driving at is: bby Luna picked up a lot of colourful language in that time. While the adults in her life would do well to correct her, it is objectively hilarious to see this gentle little girl try and figure out how best to politely express, for instance, that she doesn’t feel comfortable around someone, only for her choice of words to end up being along the lines of: “I’m sick of their shit.” 

[labeteenmoi]

Kings of the Subura

Part 6 (last)

Fandom: Those about to Die

Pairing: Tenax x OC / Scorpus x OC

Warnings: lots of sex, mostly

Summary: where we learn that appearances may be deceiving and also what the title means

Notes: tagging @darkrose33 @pckji @somebirdortheother if they're still up to it. Thanks for keeping up with this story, that's a wrap and what am I going to do with my life now that it's over? Lol! It's been a pleasure for me to write this, don't hesitate to leave a word in the comments, a thought or whatever you fancy ;)

Hope you enjoy!

Back to the Aquiline mount, where Scorpus had his own villa, Tenax had brought Briga who had slightly manifested an emotion when informed of their destination. She suspected to know the purpose of it and almost came out of her silent treatment to beg Tenax not to go. But at that point, if the man she used to trust agreed to lend her to Scorpus, she would at least be certain of what to do afterwards.

Scorpus opened the door himself, looking surprisingly sober and almost calm if it wasn’t for that hint of nervousness pointing at the twitching corner of his lips. He addressed a polite smile at Tenax, inviting him in, and a fleeting look at Briga when she passed him by with suspicion in her eyes.

He led them to the main living room, tidy and tastefully decorated without too much ostentation, not what Briga would have imagined him to live in.

“So…” started Scorpus, joining his hands in front of him as to give himself courage,”Ten thousand is the deal.”

Tenax refrained from looking puzzled and looked at Briga who nervously bit her lip with her eyes on the ground. There was no need for any other confession of guilt from her, she visibly knew what it was all about.

As he was trying to figure out what the terms of such deal could be, Briga took a breath and stated firmly:

“Yes. But no hands and no cock in any of my holes.”

Her sudden rawness took them both aback for an instant.

“Err… I know, with my mouth only…” retorted Scorpus in a low voice with a resigned sigh and his face turning slightly red.

Now Tenax understood the content of the vivid conversations he had vaguely witnessed and realized he should have inquired about it, even if he wouldn’t have opposed any decision. He was the one who had taught her to bargain on men’s lustful interest for her, that was obviously what she had done, but he guessed she wasn’t expecting to succeed to such an extent.

Ten thousand sesterces was far above the price of any slave, and he was willing to pay this amount for mere foreplay with her. It seemed they both had underestimated Scorpus’s enticement for Briga.

That was just the beginning, Tenax now figured that Scorpus would not settle at just that, but that was a problem for another day. For now, despite how reticent he was about the whole idea, it would most probably solve all his problems at once without even having to intervene himself.

“Here is the money,” declared Scorpus pointing to a leather bag on the console near them. “Join me in my room,” he demanded at Briga with a little more aplomb.

Tenax and his slave remained quiet for a few seconds before turning to each other.

“There’s an opportunity here...” let out Briga with a hint of irony in her voice, but her eyes betrayed a form of plea.

Tenax didn't fully grasp the meaning of her words but he understood the request in her look and cursed himself for what he was about to do, for it was too late to turn back now:

“Just… get it done.” he managed to utter with a dry throat, his heart racing in his chest.

Her expression became hard and imperious, in contrast with the submissive tone she used when replying: “Yes, master.”

Tenax was the one receiving it like a blow this time, to his own surprise. He realized then what was truly happening and it just occurred to him that he never thought she would actually obey. In a corner of his mind, he had the crazy idea that she would run away.

She did not run, she simply turned around and followed Scorpus's path, and in doing so, she hoped that it was hurting him as much as she was.

Briga entered the bedroom and closed the door behind her. A few oil lamps were dotted around the wall, giving the room a dimmer light than the previous room. There was a set of luxurious furniture that matched the bed, way wider than Tenax's, and covered with purple silky sheets, giving the whole room a warm atmosphere.

She saw Scorpus pouring himself a drink from a jar in the back of the room that he swallowed whole at once. Firmly setting his cup down on the dresser with a clink, he turned around with a much more determined face than before.

Tilting his head to the side, he looked at Briga with an indecipherable expression.

“Take your clothes off,” he demanded in a smooth voice.

He seemed to have regained some assurance, leaving her speechless for a moment, but eventually Briga protested: “That is not what was agreed.”

Scorpus came forward at a slow pace, crossing the room towards her.

“I'm a man of my word, Briga, and nothing was said about keeping your clothes on.”

Damn , she thought.

“I've paid what you asked, now you have to fulfill your part.” he added, a smirk growing on his lips.

She could not turn back now and surely she wouldn't let Scorpus be the most trustful one in the room, so she complied with an irate expression and, under his overtly satisfied gaze, undid the ties of her dress and made the strings fall from her shoulders. The weight of the skirt did the rest and made it all slide over her body until falling at her feet.

Scorpus ogled her carefully from head to toes for a moment, clearly enjoying the view of her bare chest and certainly bragging internally at her submission.

“This too” he added, looking at the loincloth she still had on, “I can't do what you asked for otherwise.”

Again, she stalled for a moment but ended up taking it down. The charioteer lingered his gaze upon her before leaning his face in, close enough to kiss her. She instinctively recoiled her head with distrustful eyes.

He smirked again with malice: “It's only my mouth, as you said. You didn't specify where I could put it or not…”

She grinned bitterly in return, he was cleverer than she had anticipated, turning her terms against her. She took a long sigh and put on a resigned pout, letting him proceed.

His lips touched her closed mouth in a soft peck. She had no intention of actively participating whatsoever, she wasn't completely consented to it after all, but he forced the entry of her mouth with his tongue, a greedy humming emanating from his throat, making her taste the spicy sensation from the wine he had that lingered on his tongue. Briga tried to retreat from this invasion but he clasped his arms around her, holding her head firmly as he increased his kisses intensity.

Slowly, he took her to the bed, making her grab his arms so as not to lose balance, and let her mouth go only to make her sit on the edge. Standing tall above her, he reveled with a triumphant smile in having her looking at him from her position below, naked and submitted. He knew the reality to be far from it but at that moment that's what it looked like to him, her mildly embarrassed expression adding to his fantasy.

He took off his tunic, exposing his tanned muscular torso and the bulge over his crotch and licked his lips lasciviously at the light that shone in her sudden troubled eyes. The memory of his sweaty body in that incandescent room at the brothel had arisen in Briga’s mind and did not leave her unmoved, striking the first blow to the shield of reluctance she had raised within since finding herself alone with the charioteer.

Advancing nearer and looking down on the slave, Scorpus inserted a leg in between her knees and made her spread her legs. Reaching for her face, he leaned over and kissed her harder than before, feeling the breach in her resistance.

Under his assault, Briga felt pushed back and laid on the silky sheets, unwillingly offering her breasts to his touch and licks. Her body reacted to his caresses more than she wished it had, her heart beating faster and a distinctive heat rising under her skin. Scorpus teased it even more, running his mouth down her stomach and drawing wet circles on her skin with his tongue, gently sucking and nibbling at the tender skin, his beard softly tickling her while approaching her crotch.

Lips locked shut, Briga fought the urge to whimper but, when he reached her pussy, hovering his lips over it with hot breaths, she felt her will shrivel. With one long lick along her slit, he made her give in to the shivers that ripped a raucous moan from her throat. It took only a few more gentle licks and suctions on the sensitive flesh of her labia to understand that all resistance was futile.

No matter how hard it was for her to admit it, Scorpus was good at it, dedicated and delicate. He seemed to have resigned himself to only pleasure her and had decided to give his best nonetheless. Entranced and moaning as if receiving as much as he was giving, he slided Briga up on the bed with his arms around her folded legs, the smooth texture of the sheets aiding, allowing him to lay on the bed and at least grind his painfully erect cock against the mattress for a little relief.

Laying her whole body on the bed now, Briga breathlessly cried when he dove his tongue in her hole, and grabbed his soft dark hair for good measure of encouragement. Emboldened by her demonstrative gesture, he grabbed one of her hands and put it on her dripping sex, guiding her fingers around the slit and pressing on it while he licked her. When she reacted noisily to it, he pushed her own fingers back and forth inside of her. The nerve of that man had no limits, using her to do what he could not.

He knew what he was doing when he fleetingly pressed his tongue on her butthole. All kinds of shivers ran through her body, making her cry his name shamelessly, feeling her pleasure on the edge. He groaned loudly, compulsively grabbing her skin as if out of control, pushing his crotch as hard as he could to achieve the relief he could not hold anymore, when she released a scaldent flow of juices from her pussy, trapping his head between her thighs in tensed jerks as she came too.

Scorpus let out a few breathless “ fucks” with his final jerks, his forehead resting on her lower abdomen, finishing ruining the cleanness of his underwear.

Sitting back, he wiped with the back of his hand his mouth and his beard stained with Briga's intimate fluids while observing her body lasciviously lying in front of him and her legs spread, offering him a breathtaking view of her glistening sex. Her still heavy breathing lifted her chest in a rhythm that gradually calmed down. He smiled, satisfied: "What a mess you made me put here... My pants and my sheets!" he teased her.

Putting himself back on all fours, he slowly advanced over her until having Briga completely beneath him. She was looking absently at the ceiling before meeting his stare as he stood over her.

“I told you you would love it,” he murmured with a slight smirk, “next time I'll fuck you properly.”

Briga came to her senses, looking him intently in the eyes, and with a slight smirk retorted: “This is going to cost you, charioteer.”

Scorpus scoffed amusingly, biting his lip: “Oh, I can afford it, slave ! But you'll be the one asking for more now that you know why they call me the Great Scorpus !”

She retained an amused smile in return. It's true she had been quite amazed by the way he had fulfilled his part, despite not being what he wanted in the first place, but that, she would keep it to herself.

Starting to lift herself up on the bed, Briga tried to push Scorpus back but felt his limbs trapping her slightly under him and looked up a his smiley face leaning over hers with an interrogative air.

“One last thing,” he said, “Kiss me.”

She feigned annoyance before eventually pecking his lips.

Scorpus shook his head slowly with a hint of deception clipping his lips.

“No, not like this. Kiss me like you kiss Tenax.”

Had he known that she would rather bite him than kiss him lately, he would surely reconsider.

“I don't kiss Tenax.” she retorted coldly.

“Don't you take me for a fool now, woman. I've seen how you two look at each other...” he let out, almost sounding offended. “You owe me that at least, for the way you treated me…” he concluded with an innocent pout.

He had a point, not because she felt bad, but he did have a lovely side, she actually felt she owed him more for turning her humiliating scheme against her. He wasn't the selfish lover she thought he was after all.

She rolled her eyes with a sigh for good measure before locking her eyes on his. Gulping, she eventually leveled up her chin and reached for his mouth in a soft brush of her lips first, soon pressing more. Scorpus lowered his head, giving her the opportunity to deepen the kiss, and so she did, inserting her tongue in his mouth in delicate undulations. He smelled and tasted of her, just like Tenax after the first time he had shown her how good it can feel to be touched.

With that memory on her mind, she came out of Scorpus’ room. The time she had taken to put her dress back on had let her skin cool down and the redness of her face fade away. Tenax, on the other side, had reached quite the opposite point, looking embarrassed and somehow mortified, pacing in the living room. Briga glared at him coldly while he seemed to be awaiting some kind of sign with a hint of guilt in his eyes. But she remained silent and cold and walked out the door.

***

A bitter anger had built up in him all along their walk to his apartment. Briga had remained shut but her look never weakened when he looked for it, there was no trace of shame whatsoever, only resentment. Tenax did blame himself now, but what was he to do? He still didn't see how to get out of this situation without sacrificing something he cared about, whether it would be money, Scorpus’ life or Briga’s trust. He wasn't so sure now which loss would be the easier to recover from.

As they reached his place, Briga directly took the direction of her room.

“Wait.” demanded Tenax, as calmly as he could, making her stop in the corridor. She took a few breaths before turning back on her tracks to him.

Instead of going on, he stalled, lighting an oil lamp in the entry and placing on the table the heavy little leather bag containing Scorpus' payment while Briga awaited with a suspicious look.

The wavering flame reflected in his eyes, revealing their serious expression.

“Did he hurt you ?” he finally let out.

“No.” simply retorted Briga, clearly unwilling to elaborate.

“Did I ?” he questioned back without delay.

Briga kept silent for an instant, wondering if this was an apology introduction of some sort, but she wasn't sure he had felt sorry enough in any case.

“Does it matter ?” she answered with tainted irony.

Tenax snorted lightly, visibly trying to keep his calm with a long controlled breath slowly rising his chest.

“I told you, these people are powerful, dangerous. With a snap of their fingers, they can destroy everything I’ve built…” he started explaining, talking slowly but one could sense a rising anger in his tone. “...and everything I’m planning. Without Scorpus and the Patricians tolerance for my business, I’m fucked!”

“I'm sure you had lots of good reasons…” she retaliated, speaking just as slow, “Who am I to reproach?”

“Enough with that!” he cut her dryly, raising his voice a notch.

“I’m glad I could be of use to you…” Briga kept on, feigning to ignore his increasing anger.

“I didn’t have a choice, Briga! YOU left me no choice, you shouldn’t have played with him!” he almost shouted, a visible tension building in his shoulders as he started to approach her.

A disgusted pout deformed her lips at the pettiness he was displaying, but Briga kept on teasing him with her faked submissiveness, somewhat enjoying making him irate: “I’m a poor learner, master, couldn’t trick him like you taught me…”

“STOP IT!” he yelled in her face, keeping his fists clenched against his body so as not to grab her harshly. “Enough of this master nonsense! It’s not you…”

There were too many intricate feelings at the same time running through her, her face could not pick one at a time and they all materialized in succession in the space of a second: resentment, satisfaction, doubt, hope. As her features finally softened at Tenax’s pleading look, she questioned softly: “You don’t want me to act like a slave, Tenax?”

Shaking his head, he took the time of a sigh before answering: “You were never a slave to me, Briga.”

That’s what she had come to think after spending so much time with that man and she was relieved to hear him say it. A short term relief however, soon replaced with a bitter feeling that made her tight lips tremble at the thought of what she was planning to do.

But not yet.

Reaching for his face, she cupped his cheeks in her hands, closing the gap between their bodies: “I know. I’m no one’s property.” she whispered, her warm breath on his parted lips that quivered under her touch. His body seemed to melt in her arms, the tension leaving his muscles along with the thirst he had been increasingly feeling from having her so distant from him.

“I’m sorry…” he blew softly.

“It’s the Rome rules, I know…” she cut him off, seemingly forgiving with resilience in her eyes, bringing his face closer and pressing her chest on him.

“Don’t leav…”

Briga silenced him with a kiss, taking in the air from his mouth and the words she wanted to be left unspoken. There was no doubt she would not have changed her mind regardless of anything he could have said to keep her with him, but she refused to see him beg, that was beneath the man he was. She knew that much, they were so much alike, that’s how he knew she would leave anyway.

But for now, she wanted to revel in the reassuring arms of the man who had saved her, engrave in her memory the scent and taste of the one who showed her how to survive and thrive. She owed him that much, even if he had chosen his ambition over her.

Their longing for each other was freely set out in the kisses deepening and their arms clasping around their backs frantically. Blindly reaching the bed, they got rid of their clothes in quick and swift gestures before laying on the mattress, filling the room with breathless moans and grunts, with the slapping of their hands on their bodies in eager caresses and the rustling of their blazing skin against each other.

Rolling over each other in turns, Briga took the upper hand and clasped her body on him, pinning Tenax to the mattress, devouring his lips, neck and chest with kisses before sliding his swollen sex inside of her. Abruptly grabbing her thighs in surprise at her movement, his whole body tensed in a breathless rattle. Taking a rest, Briga enjoyed the moment with delight, teasing his cock with contractures of her pussy, she felt it throb in return.

Tenax bit his lips with a grin at the boldness and tried to lift his chest up, but she pushed him down firmly and started pounding on him. Slowly first, feeling every inch of his length inside her tight walls as she went up and down, then faster, increasing her pace as the pleasure grew more intense and their hands more frantic on each other.

So she rode him until they both came into each other's arms, panting and sweating, falling over on the bed out of breath. Sleep quickly took them, relieving their exhausted bodies and confused minds for a moment that both wished would have lasted longer.

***

Tenax had grown used to the view of Briga’s bare back slowly rising with every sleeping breath she took under the pale beams of light of the morning. Her skin looked like velvet, so appealing to the touch that he couldn’t help succumbing, ending up waking her up despite his genuine unwillingness to do so.

That was probably the first thought he would have for a while when waking up alone, just as he was the next day. Unsurprised but still denying what he knew had happened, he rushed into the kitchen and then in her room, only to find these rooms just as deserted.

Hearing the front door open, a cold shiver ran down his skin as he turned around and almost scared poor Claudia with his haste to look around. From the disappointment in his eyes, she had understood that Briga had left, leaving as the only trace of her stay fifty sesterces on the table from the money that Scorpus had paid, and an empty space in their hearts

Tenax smiled at the coins and the irony of her message. Fifty sesterces was the price set for her by the slaver at the market and that he had bid only at twenty. She had been so kind in repaying him with, as a bonus, the added value he had saved. A clever way to tell him he made a good deal perhaps. He could well imagine the mischievous smirk she must have had when leaving the coins. That’s when her words struck him, the opportunity she had talked about at Scorpus’s villa, before he made her go with him, was for him to show what kind of man he was, what rules he was willing to break for her. He had failed her.

***

A few dull days went by where Tenax would handle his affairs, keeping his mind occupied so as not to think of her. No one around him really dared asking where Briga was. He thought they might be afraid to hear that he had to get rid of her for some reason; Tenax had a grim reputation after all, but he didn’t realize what they were seeing when looking at him: his sorrow.

He focused, he worked, he moved, he talked, but in the little moments when he didn’t, he looked absent-minded and sad, as if he had lost what made him smile.

Only Scorpus was too preoccupied with himself to bother caring about Tenax’s state of mind.

“What… What do you mean, she’s gone?” the charioteer had asked with great disbelief, “Where is she?”

“She stole the money you gave and ran away in the middle of the night, Scorpus. She could be anywhere by now but… not in Rome anymore, that’s a certainty.”

“How would you know? Have you… Send someone to find her, Tenax! You can’t let her go like that, you…” Scorpus was hardly containing himself, visibly angered by Tenax’s lack of combativeness.

“Sure, Scorpus, and what if they find her? Huh? You think she’ll just nicely come back knowing what awaits her here?” Tenax retorted with a rising annoyance.

Of course Tenax had thought of it. He had even acted for that purpose, but only to know if she was fine, he would never dare hoping to bring her back. He supposed that she would go back to Lusitania, wondering whether she had deliberately omitted to specify the name or precise location of her village during their conversations, so Ostia was an obvious first step in her journey. That’s where he sent a trusted handyman, but he never found her. No surprises there, Briga now knew how to lay low.

However, during the time she was supposedly there, word was that the Commander of the local military camp had been found dead in his tent, naked and gutted with his own sword, no trace of the murderer.

Tenax had chuckled when hearing it, feeling it was like a farewell blink she had sent him, or perhaps a thankful gesture for what he had done for her, maybe just a need for closure. He wouldn’t overthink it because all he came back to was the last night she had given him and all doubts just faded away. She would be fine.

But he wasn’t about to tell Scorpus, he would have been able to send someone on his own to look after her and just create an enormous mess as he usually did.

Scorpus angrily bit his lip, shaking his head with a heavy sigh: “... Fuck…”

But after a second of reflection, he had looked Tenax in the eye with sudden distrust : “You… You released her, didn’t you? You gave her her freedom so she could take off, you bastard!”

“I… would never.” Tenax sighed with actual sincerity.

Owning her was the only way to keep her, he had always known. Like she had said, she had never really belonged to him, she had never accepted the rules of this city, no matter how good she could have become at navigating them.

Unless he had told her that his ambition was not for himself only anymore, that he had plans for the future, great plans, for them both. That was Tenax’s only regret. He couldn’t help thinking it might have changed something, it might have made her stay.

The hardest part now was to let go of the silly dream that, with her, they could have become the kings of the Subura.

[stellar-sanctuary12]

We should tell children more about why we do things other than how to do things

While teaching kids practical lessons is essential for their growth—it's not debatable—we also need to start telling children on the reasons why we need to do things, especially the societal norms.

Earlier while I was teaching one of our juniors in our lector ministry in our church, I have realized a crucial thing that even we missed in our childhood. The understanding of why society operates how it is, why we need to do certain things, and why we should even do it in the first place.

The kid I was teaching was no more than 11 years old, not really a newcomer in our small ministry, but still a fledgling nevertheless. Since yesterday, she has been struggling to read out her assigned readings for the mass. I was confused since our coordinator had already been in this role for more than 20 years and had handled at least 4 generations of children to teach how to proclaim the word of God. It wasn't new that there will be times when there is a need for overtime because one child hasn't been able to get the right read for their assignment over and over again, I have been there. After all, aside from being human, children will be prone to mistakes as they don't even know it's a mistake to begin with. However, there was something about her mistakes that didn't sit right with me. She has been taught many times how to read it, and how to do it, but no matter how much repetition it takes, she can't really get the right read. Of course, every child, every single person will have different paces of learning, but I surmised it wasn't the problem.

I confirmed it when I got to teach her instead earlier before the mass. She still had the same mistakes, stuttering, adding words that aren't even in the scripture, and overall unsure of what she was even doing despite spending countless minutes trying to get it right yesterday. So, I told her why we are doing this. Why our roles were to read the scriptures. I told her why the first reading needs to be as if you are telling the story. I told her the power of storytelling and how to properly convey and illicit images in one's mind through words and why we do it.

After a few examples, I saw an improvement in her way of reading. When I told her why we needed to read it as if we are reading a storybook, she started to read it like it was a storybook. Her speed in speaking slowed as if she was making every sensory word impact the audience she would have later. Then I told her how to read the psalm and why we read it slowly and rhythmically. As soon as she knew the reason because psalms were songs, she started to read it the intended way that would please our coordinator. When she knew why do we needed to do this, she understood now the how's we have been imparting to her.

I think it is just not with the practices that we are teaching children do we share the reason why we do it. A part of the spirituality of the sanctuary wasn't clear before, as those before us, and even me were unsure of the religion we would partake in. A part of the teenage mind is curiosity and defiance against what they perceive is being forced on them, and communication plays a big role in such parts. We have been focusing on the transfer of knowledge, especially the how's but not the why's.

That's why children ask. While most will ask "What is that?" which plays as them familiarizing the world, when they ask "Why?" it plays for their understanding of the world. While they familiarize (what) and practicalize (how), it's our obligation to lend them a hand in understanding these concepts. It will not just aid them in preparing their minds for the next chapter of their lives but will help them to learn and help them in their autonomy at an early age, initiative, and industry as they grow to late childhood. This will give them confidence when doing things, as they will find their will and purpose to prove their competence. Giving them the sight behind all of the learned things will have an impact on their mind that they will always bring when they grow up.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hi! This is my first ask, I hope I followed all the rules, I'm 🪐, and I just wanted a bit of advice/reassurance

TW: descriptions of religious trauma, physical/emotional abuse, descriptions of trauma symptoms such as gaps in memory

I'm leaving home for university soon and I've wanted to, for a long time, have some space from my family and the church I grew up in. I don't know what I believe, but I'm sure that don't align myself with what I was raised to believe growing up, and I have a lot of trauma and self worth issues due to a lot of the teachings. I don't know what my purpose is or how to think for myself because I've learned to believe that my life is worthless without god, all the achievements I have are not because of me but because of god (hence the imposter syndrome I have) etc etc. The problem is, everyone expects me to go to a branch of the church where my university is. I don't want to and I know it will warrant questions and anger from my family and church community and I don't think I want to face that.

My mum and I have had a rocky relationship throughout my life. she's hit me (and threatened to hit me) multiple times when I was younger as part of "discipline" (and due to my bfrb), as well as invalidate my feelings and forced me to obey her every word because the Bible said I should. Even though now we are on better terms, she's learning to apologise for things she's done in the moment, she doesn't hit me anymore and she actually listens to me sometimes, I can still see the impact my childhood experiences have had on me. I'm horribly afraid of making mistakes, I've internalised her criticising attitude towards me, I cannot articulate my feelings because I'm so used to burying them, I'm a people pleaser and other things. She's also homophobic/transphobic (due to my church's teachings) so I've been hiding my identities from her every since I've learned more about myself. Sometimes I even doubt my own identities because what if she's right? What if I'm just demonic and confused and that I've been indoctrinated? (I know I haven't but still, thoughts like this creep up on me)

[I've had therapy for a few months which has help unravel some of this but I'm leaving school so I need to find a new therapist, which is very daunting]

What I don't know is whether it's justifiable to want to have space from her and not talk to her for at least the first year of uni. I don't know how I'd explain these things to her since I get quite emotional/cry a lot and I don't have the language to articulate exactly what's wrong. Equally, a lot of my childhood memories have been "blocked out" (there are extended periods of my childhood I don't remember) possibly due to trauma so I feel like I won't be able to defend myself.

I also really want to leave this church, but I'm scared. It's all I've ever known for as long as I remember and sometimes I get plagued with guilt/fear of eternal punishment for not believing in what I was taught to believe. I also don't want family members and people from there to try and convince me to return or try to talk my out of it, because I'm scared I'll crumble and go back to that environment where I'm instructed to be a certain person and want particular things from my life. I feel really trapped. It's going to take me a lot of time to untangle everything, and I really want to, but I'm also scared I'll never find a solid community and place to exist outside work and school (especially in times like this). I desperately want to feel okay and not be so afraid of the future and living life for myself, but I understand that it'll take me some time to trust my emotions and ability to make decisions and to learn how to find community again. It feels so big, like it's casting a shadow on my everyday life and I can't enjoy anything anymore.

Any advice on how to navigate these big thoughts would be appreciated!

-🪐

[I hope this wasn't too long!]

Hi 🪐,

I'm happy to assure that your ask was certainly not too long, and would like to extend my sympathies for your experiences and current struggles. To me, it makes all the sense in the world that your day to day, and foreseeable future, are deeply impacted by the events of childhood and current situations. You were not modeled healthy emotional regulation by your caregiver, and sadly were abused by the one person who you should have been safe with. From personal experience, I'd like to extend an extra gentle hug for the grief, and full range of emotions, that might crop up during your untangling process as you continue down your healing journey.

I wasn't 100% sure if you were looking to potentially still be part of some kind of religious/spiritual community, heal from the current one, or a bit of both? But this ask includes several books, and a work book, about healing from spiritual abuse, yet aimed for people who still have some sort of faith belief and hope to continue with some kind of spiritual practices (however, this is aimed for Christian spiritual abuse, and if you're looking for a different faith group resource, my hope is that the links/hashtags/words included in the book references might be a good starting point on a Google search). I also had an ask for someone who was exploring a different religion, seeking community, and yet the guilt, too. You can find my response to that here, but here's a highlight I hope might resonate with you, too:

I still think that anyone interested in spiritual practices can decide the boundaries for themselves on what uplifts them, what brings joy and connection - because religion and spirituality, though possible to do with others, is still, at the end of the day, a personal experience.

I think with you transitioning to college, there's a cultural understanding that you'll be exploring things on your own a bit, and though yes, it is quite possible that your family, and/or community might imply pressure as to what exploring those dynamics might look like for you, there's opportunity for freedom here.

What I mean by that, is it's fairly easy to get off the phone when you say, "Gotta study" "Gotta get to class" etc - if someone in your classes, or a student in the hallway tries to bring up a subject you're not comfortable with, I'd encourage you to share that you aren't going to discuss something, but it's certainly not rude to share you're busy and would like to circle back to another topic, another time (because you'll definitely be busy with uni!).

If someone actually has the gall to follow after you, or I don't know, unexpected family visits - you have the right to seek safety and shelter, and discuss with campus security what your options are. Though this is the most extreme example I can think, and I only bring it up to assure that you have the power to set the boundaries of who has access to you.

I'd imagine the biggest headache might be the breaks/holidays, where you might go home (or not, nothing says you have to, and you could always be needing to stay on campus to catch up on projects). But if you do, here's an article about setting some boundaries with family during the holidays (and one more) that I hope might encourage you.

Regardless of the process, length of time it take, or the winding journey as you heal - you are worthy of people in your life who love, and encourage you. You are worthy of healing, and I'm proud of you for taking the steps towards independence with both therapy (and wish you luck on finding another soon - definitely ask your campus for some mental health resources, they might have some therapists there!) and seeking higher education. Wishing you all the best ~

- Mod Kat

[misssophiachase]

prompt- AH Klaroline. we usually see klaus developing feelings for caroline while she's in a relationship with someone else. i would like to see something where klaus has been in an established relationship with another girl and caroline realizes that she's developed feelings for him. (if you don't have time to do this one, don't worry about it).

Thanks nonnie, I love it so much! Inspired really. Got a bit carried away too, see notes at the end.

Synopsis: One wedding and a completely confused best man and maid of honour.

“And all you never say is that you love me so.”

All You Never Say

Caroline Forbes, Maid of Honour, Invites you to celebrate:

The Bachelorette Party for

Katherine Pierce

On Saturday fifteenth of June, twenty-twenty one at Connaught Bar, Mayfair, London at 2000h

Dress: Party Attire

One week before the nuptials - Connaught Bar, London England, 10:21pm

“What happened to the Kitty Kat I knew who’d usually be dancing on the bar right now and showing the stripper just how it’s done?” 

Although her tone was light and teasing, Caroline was a little disappointed given this was her best friend’s bachelorette party and there wasn’t a tacky veil or penis straw in sight. 

Also, they’d been forced to hire out a venue to avoid unwanted media attention before the big day so the atmosphere wasn’t quite what she was expecting either. 

The word lacklustre seemed a good word to describe it all.  

Maid of Honour Caroline had been banned from most fun things when organising Kat’s last night of ‘freedom’. 

“She’s marrying one of the United Kingdom’s most eligible bachelors, not to mention the youngest Minister in the Government’s Cabinet. That doesn’t really go with the wholesome reputation she’s trying to portray, Care,” Bonnie offered, eating the olive from her martini. “Although, I think it’s a shame you can’t put those pole dancing moves we learned in Cabo to good use.”

“This is one pathetic stripper, just saying,” Rebekah offered, joining them at the bar and stealing Bonnie’s drink from her outstretched hands.

“I was on the other side of the world, I could only go by his rating on the internet,” Caroline argued. “Plus, I also had to find one who kept some clothes on and we all know what that means.”

“What’s underneath doesn’t match the whole package,” Bonnie finished. “We don’t need to tip him, do we?”

When Katherine called Caroline thirteen months earlier to say she was engaged to Elijah, Caroline couldn’t have been happier. They’d all met each other at private boarding school and had stayed in touch ever since and even though they seemed like opposites, Kat and Elijah complemented one another. 

Also, Katherine’s job as head neurosurgeon at one of London’s most prestigious private hospitals and her impressive family inheritance greatly helped matters when it came to swaying his parents on the engagement. 

The Mikaelsons. 

Mikael and Esther were extremely wealthy and well-connected in English society.  They came from family money and owned a large and impressive property portfolio spanning the entire globe and had sent their children to the best boarding school the US had to offer.  

Phillips Exeter Academy in New Hampshire. 

Caroline wasn’t wealthy like the rest of her friends. She’d be lying if that fact didn’t make her feel somewhat inferior. Her father owned the local general store and, if it weren’t for her scholarship, Caroline would have ended up in public school. Not that she would have minded but her father insisted it was too good an opportunity to pass up. 

Attending the exclusive boarding school had been an adjustment to say the least and not just because of the ugly and uncomfortable uniforms they had to wear. Caroline was assigned to a room with three fellow students. 

Katherine Pierce, although the daughter of a talented cardiothoracic surgeon and a world class architect, was wild and impulsive and constantly in trouble with the dean for her indiscretions like sneaking out to meet boys and smoking on occasion. 

Bonnie Bennett was the gorgeous but serious high achiever whose parents owned one of the biggest publishing houses in the world. She was taught never to take anything for granted and work hard for what she wanted in life. 

Rebekah Mikaelson, while strong-willed and passionate, was the odd one out from the beginning. She made it her aim in life to drive the other girls crazy with her brittle personality and unwanted opinions. Although it took a while, and a few choice fights that needed to be broken up between her and Katherine, the girls became best friends. 

Rebekah’s brothers all attended the school at the same time but in different years with Elijah the eldest followed by Klaus then Kol and youngest sibling Rebekah.  

The Mikaelson boys and their best friend from home, Enzo St John, were definitely the most popular and sought after by the female student body. Caroline, not being one to conform, refused to play that game. She had no intention of stroking their egos any further, especially head womaniser Klaus. 

There was no doubting he was gorgeous, it ran in their family after all, but he knew it. 

Caroline found that she could have a fun time with Enzo, a deep and meaningful discussion with Elijah and a joke with Kol but when it came to Klaus all he did was tease her and rile her up. 

Of course she told herself it was because he was an immature idiot but wasn’t overly convinced it was the only reason given the looks she’d send his way when she knew no one was looking.  Caroline hoped whatever weird thing was happening would dissipate when they graduated. 

Kol and Bonnie had dated for a year at school, but apart from them they all stayed friends. So much so, that after they’d all graduated and gone their separate ways in life they still caught up for most significant occasions. 

This wedding being one of many. 

Katherine and Elijah had reconnected in Boston and, even though she always said he was too serious, they fell in love and were now on the verge of marriage. 

Caroline was so excited, if not about the bachelorette party. 

“Who are we kidding? I got the wild stuff out when you three were all too busy being good girls in boarding school,” she scoffed. Caroline wouldn’t admit it aloud but she had a point. “And there’s nothing stopping you three from getting up there with the stripper.” 

“Pass,” all three replied, looking up at him ominously. 

“How about we get out of here and see what the boys are up to?” Katherine suggested a twinkle in her brown eyes. 

“Because I think that defeats the purpose of a bachelorette party, Pierce,” Caroline drawled. “And this is Elijah, no offence but poker doesn’t sound all that exciting if you ask me.”

“Says the girl with the special poker skills,” Kat smiled deviously. “Klaus likes to think he’s the best player but we all know you could give him a run for his money. I’d say watching you fleece him is a fun way to spend an evening.”

Caroline had to admit angering the best man and her wedding partner certainly had its benefits. They’d seen each other in passing the previous day on arrival but otherwise hadn’t connected much recently because she was based on the West coast in Los Angeles and him on the East in New York City. 

He was the CEO of a prominent stockbroking firm and, by all reports, had been dating a Texan oil billionaire’s daughter and model, Hayley someone, for the past year.  

Okay, her surname was Marshall. 

She may have read a few editions of Page Six and seen them attending premieres and openings. She was sort of attractive.

Okay, she was gorgeous with big, brown doe eyes and a glossy chestnut mane and legs for days. 

Caroline told herself that she didn’t care more times than she could count but there was also something lingering beneath the surface with Klaus. She would have endeavoured to forget him after school had it not been for something that happened two years earlier and changed her opinion of him completely. 

Bastard.

And with that came the insecurity she hated. Even though she’d carved out a successful career as a human rights lawyer, she’d never fit into his life because she didn’t have a rich family or a huge inheritance like Hayley. Not that she cared but she knew his family did. 

She noticed her friends giving her weird looks, clearly she didn’t realise how much of a Klaus trance she’d descended into. 

“Sure. Why not?”

American Bar, Savoy Hotel, London 11:07pm 

“This is lame,” Kol scoffed, throwing his cards on the makeshift poker table. 

“He’s only saying that because he’s losing,” Enzo laughed, pulling the chips towards him greedily. 

“No, I’m saying that because this is no bachelor party,” he huffed, standing up and going to the bar to make himself another drink. “You couldn’t even organise one, measly stripper?”

As with the girls, the guys had hired out the venue for privacy reasons, not that they were actually doing anything untoward. 

Klaus had won the most money so far but he’d left the table to take a call from Hayley letting Enzo win a few rounds in his absence. She was arriving the next day for the wedding and was calling to check on the arrangements. 

Klaus was certain he’d told her multiple times but she was someone who liked things just right. But she also liked to call. 

A lot. 

At first he thought it was endearing but after a year he was starting to realise it was largely overkill. So too, her obsession with all things materialistic and celebrity and having to be at the opening of everything and anything. Klaus liked to keep more of a low profile if he could and that trait only reminded him of his parents and their chosen life together.

When he’d met her during a wild weekend in Miami, Klaus was immediately taken with her. He even thought it was love but decided that was just the tequila talking and it was most definitely lust. Klaus didn’t do relationships and he assumed she would be a momentary distraction until his parents had taken a strong liking to her.  Or more accurately to her wealth and family connections and future prospects for them. 

With Mikael and Esther it wasn’t much about love but what you did for a living and how much money your family had. Their marriage was case in point. 

Klaus wasn’t one to do what his parents told him but he’d long felt the black sheep given his secret paternity and decided it would be good to earn their favour for a change.  

There was also another reason to entertain the relationship, one that had made him realise that, no matter what, he was always going to have to settle for second best. 

“Are we interrupting anything?” Klaus looked up into the eyes of his future sister-in-law. He and Katherine had acted like siblings from the moment they met so to him her marriage to Elijah was inevitable.     

“Great!” Kol growled from his vantage point behind the bar. “Not only do I have to sit through this poor excuse for a party but now the girls have arrived.”

“Nice to see you too, Kol,” Bonnie said, raising her eyebrows. Although they’d dated over ten years ago everyone seemed to think something was still very much happening between them. 

“As much as I’m glad to see my beautiful fiance,” Elijah smiled, standing so he could pull her into his arms affectionately. “I’m not sure this is the done thing.”

“Oh, you mean like strippers, brother?” 

“You’re more than welcome to our stripper, Kol, we only left him in Mayfair about ten minutes ago so you might be able to catch him if you’re lucky,” Rebekah teased, swiping a few of Enzo’s prized chips from the table.

“Oi, woman!” He muttered, attempting to take it back while she squealed in response. 

Rebekah and Enzo had been play fighting since he was eleven and she was nine.  The rest of the group all knew it was unresolved tension that would finally sort itself out some day so were just waiting for it to click into place. 

“So, what you’re telling me is that the girls were allowed to have a stripper?” Clearly, Kol wasn’t letting this one go easily. 

“Oh would you please shut up, little brother, does it shock you that Elijah didn’t actually want one?” Klaus barked, his brother wearing on his last nerve. 

For the most part his gaze had been surreptitiously trained on the maid of honour.  Attired in a little, black dress that hugged her in all the right places it was incredibly distracting.  She was also wearing her hair just how he liked it, loose and a little wild. How many times had he imagined running his fingers through those waves? Too many to count.

Yes, Caroline Forbes was his dirty little secret. One that he had every intention of keeping because it would do him no good to reveal it. 

“I promise that when you get married I’ll book out an entire strip club,” Enzo offered, stealing the chip from Rebekah’s grasp while she wasn’t watching and sending her a triumphant smirk. “Happy?”

“Are we playing poker or what?” Caroline asked. This got his attention. Klaus looked over at her, his eyebrows cocked curiously. 

“You play poker, love?”

“I dabble,” she replied, taking a seat at the table. “I mean, I used to play with my grandpa when I was about ten. Pretty sure the rules haven’t changed much since then.” It would have been adorable if Klaus wasn’t so competitive by nature. 

“We are playing for real money here,” he warned, giving her one last chance to back out. “I mean I wouldn’t want to take advantage.” 

“I’m a big girl and can take care of myself,” she shot back. “So, just deal the cards, Mikaelson.” 

The others took their place and the game was restarted, even Kol seemed to have gotten out of his funk to play. The first hand went like this:

“All red,” Rebekah smiled triumphantly, laying her cards on the table. After betting her entire bank it was sufficed to say she was out from the get-go. 

“All red? Seriously, little sister? Can you please take her away Enzo and never let her play ever again,” Klaus muttered through gritted teeth. How were they even related?

Second hand ended in Katherine and Elijah being expelled for too much PDA at the poker table. Neither of the love birds minded a little time out in the corner. 

Third hand came down to a poor display of bluffing from Kol while Bonnie complained because all she wanted to do was play Go Fish because it was more entertaining.

Then there were two.

“Are you sure you don’t want to just give in, Forbes?” Klaus asked, leaning back lazily in his chair.  She was studying her cards carefully. Most hands she’d folded before betting anything and he was starting to realise she was too careful, much like the girl he knew in real life.   

“Give me a minute,” she hissed, fastening a loose wave behind her ear. Klaus could tell it was a sign of a bad hand but at the same time he wished he was the one to place it there. 

“Okay, I want three cards,” she asked, placing the discarded ones face down. 

“Maybe you should just fold, love?” He asked, partly because he was concerned but also because Klaus knew he was that accomplished. His straight flush was looking extremely good right now. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t tell me what to do, ass,” she offered, noting his shocked look in response. “I was just trying to counter your love with something equally fitting.”

“Fine,” he murmured trying to pretend not to feel dejected. “Three cards.”

She took them and again studied them closely. Meanwhile the rest of the group had gathered around, no doubt sensing this was their last hand and everyone could finally go home. 

“Okay, how about we stop beating around the bush and I just bet everything I have,” she said pushing it all into the middle. 

“You’re bluffing,” he blurted out, knowing it was impossible she had a hand to beat his flush. 

“I guess you’ll have to bet to find out,” she smiled. All he wanted to do was kiss it off her face and that was just for starters. He shook his head reminding himself that he needed to relax. 

“Call,” she said, her expression serious. They held each other’s gaze for a prolonged period, Klaus telling himself it was to try and read the poker signs but that wasn’t it at all. He suddenly realised that he could stare at her for hours and never tire. 

Not just hours, forever maybe.  

He cleared his throat knowing that everyone was now watching in anticipation. 

“Straight flush,” he grinned proudly, laying it out on the table. She gave it a brief look before placing hers next to his. 

“All red.” Given it was a ten, Jack, Queen, King and Ace of diamonds, also known as a royal flush, she was clearly being facetious. 

“You played me, Forbes.” He finally uttered amongst the cheers and Rebekah’s insistence that she must have had a winning hand all along. 

She pulled the chips towards her happily choosing not to respond immediately. His eyes were still trained on her though, desperate for some kind of response.

“And you underestimated me, Mikaelson,” she murmured. 

Yes. Maybe he had underestimated her and everything else.

TBC - Next part will be up tomorrow PM..there’s a chance encounter in the middle of the night, a rehearsal dinner and a slight wedding mishap before the big day. But let me know what you think so far : ) 

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[pastorralffriedrichs]

4 Ways Esther Inspires Us to Step Out in Faith

"Before I made you in your mother's womb, I chose you”

(Jeremiah 1:5).

When choosing teams in school, children should never choose teams.

Why?

Inevitably, the least popular or most athletically challenged children would be left standing alone, on display, easy targets for derogatory labels and ridicule.

Choose teams on the basis of birthday month, favorite flavor of ice cream or color of clothing worn that day.

The result?

Every child is chosen.

We all long to be chosen, loved by someone who sees us as we really are. Someone who recognizes our worth.

Esther was an orphan,

an insignificant and unknown Jewish girl living with her uncle Mordecai when she was chosen to be Queen,

the wife of Persian King Ahasuerus.

Esther had reigned for only a short time when Mordecai learned of a plot to assassinate the King. Mordecai told Esther who told Ahasuerus and the guilty men were executed.

The king’s life was spared, but life for the Jewish people became extremely difficult.

Haman, a very influential but evil officer in the king’s court, was promoted to the second-highest position in the land. Haman hated the Jews and convinced the King to issue a law that all people had to bow to the King, or they would be executed. That law would mean certain death for not only Esther and Mordecai, but also for every Jew who bowed only to God.

And there was one other small problem.

The King did not know that his new queen was a Jew. As Esther and her people fasted for God’s direction, Esther planned what might have been the first reveal party for the king and Haman. During the banquet, Esther revealed Haman’s plot.

Esther also revealed the fact that she was a Jew. True love won the day. The King condemned Haman to die and saved the Jewish nation. In short, God raised Esther up to save her people!

Esther made a life-changing decision to step out in faith and obey God. Because she made the right choice, she discovered her true worth in God. If Esther can take those steps, so can we.

Step 1:

Understand That We Are Chosen

“And who knows, you may have been chosen queen for just such a time as this"

(Esther 4:14).

Esther was chosen--not just by a King, but by God. God placed Esther in a high position of leadership at a very special time and for a very special reason. The same is true in your life and in mine.

You are no accident!

Where you are is no surprise to God.

Situational ethics is now being taught in many schools. One teacher, wanting to illustrate that human reasoning is many times wrong, gave the following situation to a class of students:

"Would you advise a mother who was pregnant with her fifth child to have an abortion--given the following facts?

Her husband had syphilis.

She had tuberculosis.

Their first child was born blind.

Their second child died.

Their third child was born deaf.

Their fourth child had tuberculosis.

Most of the students agreed that she should have an abortion. The teacher was quiet for a moment before responding. “Those of you who said, ‘Yes' would have just killed the great composer Ludwig von Beethoven!"

You and I were created in response to the love of God.

“I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way. What you have done is wonderful. I know this very well. You saw my bones being formed as I took shape in my mother's body. When I was put together there, you saw my body as it was formed. All the days planned for me were written in your book before I was one day old”

(Psalm 139:14-16).

We were created in love…for love. The plan came first! God personally supervised our formation. We were created for a special purpose and with a unique plan for our lives. In other words, we were created by God for God!

“Know that the LORD is God. He made us, and we belong to him; we are his people, the sheep he tends” (Psalm 100:3).

In this verse “LORD” literally means “Father” or “dearest daddy.” We were not created to be His puppet. We were created for an intimate, loving relationship with God. He created us and chose us, and just as God had a special plan for Esther, He has a special plan for you.

“I know what I am planning for you," says the LORD. "I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future” (Jeremiah 29).

The best plan for every life rests solely in the hands of the One who created it.

In the early days of the automobile, a man's Model-T Ford stalled in the middle of the road. No matter what he tried, the car wouldn’t start. Finally, a chauffeured limousine pulled up behind him and a wiry, energetic man stepped from the back seat, offering his assistance.

After tinkering for a few moments, the stranger said, "Now try it!" The engine immediately came to life. The well-dressed man then identified himself as Henry Ford. "I designed and built these cars," he said, "So I know what to do when something goes wrong."

God is our creator. When our lives are broken, He can heal them. When the plan falls apart, He can fix it. We not only find our strength in that truth, but we also find the core message of our calling as well.

We are wanted, loved, and cherished by God. We belong to Him. We are chosen.

Step 2:

Accept the Challenge

“I will go to the king…” (Esther 4:16).

Esther certainly understood stress! When the King’s law to destroy the Jews was published, Mordecai and the rest of the Jews lost it. Mordecai told Esther that she needed to go to her husband and beg for mercy.

Esther initially refused, but with good reason. If she went to the king without being invited, she would be killed. Now that is a real test!

Like Esther, every time life delivers a cruel blow, we must make a choice. We can choose to accept the challenge, or we can refuse it and miss the opportunity it offers. Yes, I said “opportunity.”

If you are like me, when a trial comes, I tend to look for the nearest exit, hoping to avoid the pain and examination that every challenge affords. At the center of every challenge is an opportunity. Behind every problem is a purpose.

“And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness--secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name” (Isaiah 45:3, NLT).

Don’t miss this truth! God has gone before us, and in every problem, every darkness and trial, has buried a “treasure” and stored “secret riches.” The only way we can discover that treasure or uncover the secret riches is to face the challenge, walk through the darkness, and confront the trial, refusing to give up until the lesson is learned and the truth gained.

When golf balls were first manufactured, their covers were smooth. Golfers discovered that after repeated use, the covers grew rough, giving the ball greater power when it was hit. Life is much the same. It takes some “rough spots” to make us go our farthest.

Jesus did not come to eliminate our problems. He came to fill those problems with Himself. Someone once said: “When God permits His children to go through the furnace, He keeps his eye on the clock and His hand on the thermostat.

“So don't worry, because I am with you. Don't be afraid, because I am your God. I will make you strong and will help you; I will support you with my right hand that saves you” (Isaiah 41:10).

Queen Esther came to this truth when she accepted the biggest and, I am sure, the most frightening challenge of her life. She boldly stood for truth and against the enemy’s schemes. In doing so, she saved her people and won a place of honor.

What challenge is before you, my friend? Accept it, welcome it, embrace it--and just see what your God does through it!

Step 3:

Choose to Face Our Fear

“Then I will go to the king even though it is against the law, and if I die, I die" (Esther 4:16b).

The ability to walk through fear comes from trust in God alone. Esther was afraid and uncertain. She still chose to walk through her fear, ignore her own human weakness and limitations, and go to the king.

Fear is a control issue. Its opposite is trust.

Playing God is the root of fear. When we play God, we trust ourselves instead of Him. If you are struggling with fear, the question you must ask yourself is, “Who is God in my life?”

Step 4:

Step Out in Faith

"Go, gather together all the Jews…and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maids will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish”

(Esther 4:16).

A teacher was doing her best to disprove the miracles of the Bible. "Take, for instance, the crossing of the Red Sea. We know this body of water was only six inches deep," she said. A little boy immediately shouted, “Praise God for that miracle!" Annoyed, the teacher asked, "What miracle?" The little boy explained, "The Lord must have drowned the whole Egyptian army in just six inches of water!"

Paul writes, “It was by faith that the people crossed the Red Sea as if it were dry land. But when the Egyptians tried it, they were drowned” (Hebrews 11:29). Fear puts our circumstance between God and us while faith puts God between our circumstance and us. God’s people crossed the Red Sea and Esther saved a nation--because of faith.

Esther rose from the ordinary to the extraordinary and proved herself worthy because she understood that God had chosen her, just as He has chosen you. Esther was willing to accept the challenge before her. You can, too. Just as Esther chose to face her fear, you can face yours. Esther stepped out in faith and today, God is calling us to do the same.

#takeyourlifebacktodayshow

#ralffriedrichs

#fall7timesgetup8times

#nevergiveup