#( asher | answered )

[sharkenedfangs]

What do I need to do to get a fic of sub crossdressing male pc begging Bailey to be their first time ( first everything really)? I don't even care about wether PC gets railed like we wish, I honestly highkey just want your take on it.

— ☆ “SIMMERING BENEATH.”

— sucks when your annoyingly bratty, yet pretty bastard of an opthan manages to get past your tight-held clutches, doesn’t it? mister bailey. 1.8k wc

— “the fuck do you want, asher?” : wrote this on the way back home, so on the sort of.. subway thingies, it’s not called that where I am, but they do resemble that and felt fucking nauseous, so apologies in advance if it’s shit. was too good to fully pass up on this one, though couldn’t turn it into a full-on lengthy one due to being busy with other current things. still tried to input every aspect you’ve asked for. yeah, may it be up to your standards then, anon.

Fucking fuck.

No, hell— that wouldn’t truthfully encapsulate the sheer idiocy of his muddled actions even then, because god— fucking shit, why would a man of the likes of Bailey — relatively known, if not factually remembered as the cold, logical one in town — stupidly fall for some mere trickery, childish ploy fabricated by your own stubborn whims? Or, to be quite precise, those pathetic taunts of yours that any man possessing the slightest nerve of a goddamn functional brain, wouldn’t have dumbly caved in to.

Talking about the depraved perverts that’d foolishly slip between the evidently, way too small cracks unfitting for their same, way too fucking large bodies — of the barely opened windows the dumb orphans would forgetfully leave behind. Shakily pawing with sweat slicked hands at some brat’s snoozing body before they’d eventually be chased off by the mere sight of his approaching figure inevitably barging in, hastily mutter on about their prestigious status and so on— fuck, never really truly listened to the shoddy bastards. How Bailey was no man to rudely kick ‘em out of the own crappy establishment he was sloppily running with a twinge of cruelty ever present in his cold gaze.

Yeah, he’s no damn better than those perverted fuckers right about now— possibly worse, but shit, no way in fucking hell will he potentially admit to that despite the cooling air annoyingly caressing his bare skin, sticky sweat clinging onto his flushed flesh nor the disheveled mess of his habitually, slicked back hair partially obscuring his hazy vision of this.. well, fuck— say it or not, admittedly, fucking hot sight shamelessly greeting him in return. Loosened, pristine white dress shirt untucked in face of this, to give forth to a discreet glimpse of one of the numerous tattoos snaked along the surface of his toned figure.

Slightest pout of your rosy, puckered lips he’d unconsciously find himself eyeing for far too long when thoroughly denied for the day by your daily, insistent questioning. Pop your cherry, you had confidently said with a noticeably excited shake of your fists. Might as well endlessly yap his ear off with that unrealistic request of yours— a pitiful plea that somehow, without fully realizing as to how and why — is currently happening within the otherwise narrow confines of his private office. Solely dedicated to calmly concentrate on each and every one of his gruelling tasks. Namely, neatly sorting out the thin sheets of paper openly displaying pertinent information to the numerous orphans residing here, registering the missing few that’d either go in running like some mindless moron or be plainly sold off to a godforsaken hell he held no genuine interest in— Fuck, fuck. You get the gist by now, there.

A well-deserved punishment is what this all is, simply was for that matter, and hah— you seem to be willingly taking it, although, can’t truly say he’s all that suprised. Brat. It’s what you are. Stupidly nosy brat who couldn’t hope to obediently keep his supple hands to himself for the shitty life of him. One that’d so ironically, perfectly fit all too well underneath the weight of his calloused palms restricting your bashful squirming— now contentedly facing the eventual consequences of your impulsive actions with a gleeful smile tracing your curved lips. Rhythmic squeaking of the wooden, chipped desk the man had sworn to fucking god, promised to dearly replace whenever was soonest possible and, well, he’s received his all-time excuse to be snidely given to those thugs.

A cum coated piece of furniture is just about a good reason to be neatly reinstalled with something sharper, newer— something along the lines of that, the bigger the better, probably.

Speaking of big.. Shit, he’s undeniably fucked.

“Don’t you fucking look at me like that, you ungrateful little bastard. I’m putting a roof over your head and a place to stay so— fuck, the least you can do is fucking pay me back on time, but can’t even do that, can you?” Habitually stern is what he’s evidently known best for amongst the nosy orphans, yet that usual bite in his gruff voice is almost.. pitifully lacking in face of whatever the fuck this is— yeah, actually he’s got a clue what it is. Inwardly cursing at how his hips automatically snap back in one sharp motion to then, merely slap forward— flush against your reddened ass. Riddled, fresh marks traced along the entirety of your curved back nor your spread asscheeks for that matter, shouldn’t be looking so infuriatingly pretty after all that harsh spanking he’s had you withstand. Take it as the start of your relatively tame punishment coming from a stone cold man like him, that’s what.

“Like what? A satisfied client? Hah— this is the best day of my life, y’know. Feels so fuckin’ good, Bailey— please don’t stop..” Of-fucking-‘course you’ve already had whatever comment prepared to hurriedly retort back within your noisy mouth, despite being so crudely bent over a flat surface like this. Particularly whiny moan drawn out at the feel of his thick cock satisfyingly stretching you full, sinfully defiling you from virginity itself. Pervertedly spread open with your dizzyingly warm, honeyed— fuck, did he really just think of your hole like that?? Must be losing his goddamn mind. Correct, your fucking hole is the one irreversibly altering his unwavering principles. So fuck you, really.

Sloppy, squelchy noises, all too annoyingly addictive to hear, of your tight, puckered heat fervently sucking his fat cock in, coating it all sticky and wet with your slippery, pink insides. Instinctively hissing at the knee-buckling sight of his veiny length repeatedly remerging and disappearing deep inside because shit— can’t get enough of it. So much so his rough thumbs are subconsciously spreading that tender flesh wide open for his unrelenting, stern gaze to gawk at. Not to mention, those frilly lines adorning that stupidly short skirt, bouncing in tandem with each ruthless thrusts slapped to your backside. Admittedly adorable, cute cock clumsily bobbing from the ruthlessly loud smacks of the caretaker’s fat balls sloppily slapping upon the flush of your ass, teasing— no, irrefutably taunting him by the subtle glimpse of your dribbling, wet dick peeking from beneath that skirt.

Like to play dress up, don’t you? Sneakily slip in those overly feminine, lacy garments the elder man would’ve notably poked fun at the sissies that unabashedly wore such clothings back in his day— ironically enough, now he’s finding himself, balls deep into said ‘sissy’. Meanly tugging at the silken material snugly encircling your flailing legs, neatly tied bows bound to predictably come undone given the unrelenting bounces of your shared figures. Unable to keep still when you’re being fucked or something?

Little, incompetent brat. Constantly managing to crawl underneath his skin, reach the deepest parts within him the caretaker has progressively learned to conceal beneath this ruthlessly heartless facade. Not that Bailey’s the nicest man to begin with, but hell— favouring a good for nothing, admittedly appealing to the eyes— meddling boy like you wasn’t on his fucking wish list either.

Should be crudely wiping off that joyous grin etched upon your features if you actually know what’s good for you. Though, doubt you will.

Fine. He’s not necessarily against doing the honours for you. Frustratingly fuck out the undeniable audacity ever so present in your every movements when carelessly distracting him during work hours— time meant to be initially spent for focusing and godfuckingdammit, merely thinking back on it has him obscenely gritting his teeth, further tightening his unrelenting grip planted along your — sure to be bruised later, which you’re naturally paying the price of it — hips. Heaving groans mixed along with some curses which are presumably directed at you, if not at himself, that he’s uncertain of, really. All he’s stupidly conscious of is the undeniable fact that you might’ve coincidentally, if not intentionally, gotten him dizzyingly drunk off your previously undefiled hole.

Fuck, must be that then. Overly aware of what you’re currently doing to him, aren’t you?

‘S that it? Your admittedly, badly thought out plan simmering deep within your mind, happily tugging at his heartstrings in hopes of getting your mean caretaker to fuck your virgin holes full of cum? Well, all to say— you’ve graciously received what your bratty, stupidly pretty ass has fervently been desiring for all along, huh? Ain’t that right? So in return, it’s only fair that he greedily takes whatever he so pleases, whenever or wherever— that is of no importance then, whether it be comfortably settled atop his lap during office hours or slung along your knees to dutifully service him. “God, don’t you dare fucking move— just— just fucking stay like. Yeah, just like— hah, that.” Got no qualms whatever position that might be in, too caught up in the tender feel of your soft flesh underneath his punishing grasp to sluggishly catch on what’s spilling forth from his swollen red, oozing tip because.. shit, got him cumming— not just plain ol’ cumming, but mortifyingly enough, squirting prematurely too. Effectively painting your stretched walls in a sticky, white mess of his seed, inwardly cursing at himself for potentially letting things stretch on further than they were initially meant to.

Yet as ironic as it may be, his unwavering pride naturally beckons him in turn or is it the petulant whine longingly drawled out from between your rosy lips at the sole thoughts of your time together being cut short? Right— ‘course, what else would it be that’d have you miserably whimper so? Didn’t cum yet, did you? Obediently took his fat load sickeningly dripping free from your sore, used up hole without any sort of complaint, gaze momentarily flicking downwards to the pearly droplets of his cum progressively trickling down the length of your suspended legs laid along the precarious edge of his oaky desk.

Similar to how an opportunist excitedly pounces on every chance set before him— hah, he’s never been much like Eden to cowardly hide amongst the oaky, wooden trees to begin with. Huddle within the shadowy forest in a futile hope that mere distance might erase the muddled past; the foggy, far-away town altogether from their collectively minds.

Rather take part in the animalistic feast even if it would’ve eventually spelled utter ruin for himself, inevitable defeat one cannot simply crawl out of sheer will. And maybe, that said ruin, is delicately staring at him right in the face with a fucked out look stretch upon your features, pupils blown wide with a hint of saliva gracing the corner of your pouty lips that he— fuck, can’t help it, really— have his calloused thumb stroke at, soon swiftly followed by the immediate puckering of your overly attentive mouth suckling along the digit. Incidentally coating it in a slippery wet layer of your spit that you, of course, joyfully take advantage of by stifling a wanton moan right ‘round it.

Shit, going to be the goddamn death of him.

That eventually faith patiently awaiting for him, doesn’t sound so bad when your cum stained, little needy self is notably factored in that messy equation after all.

[tempvstas]

Um. Hello. Could I request Vil, Leona, and Jamil with a baker s/o? And when I say baker, I'm talking a baker that can make anything from a simple batch of cookies to those extravagant cakes you find on Pinterest.

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Content Warning(s): none

Character(s): GN!Reader(no pronouns mentioned), Vil Schoenheit, Leona Kingscholar, Jamil Viper

Authors Notes: baking pog!

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Vil Schoenheit

He's impressed by your abilities, and he thinks it's pretty impressive that you can make such intricate designs

Definitely takes a few pictures and posts them on his Magicam story, he's smug when he sees so many people praising your skills. He's like "That's right, my s/o made that."

He has to adhere to a strict diet so he wouldn't stuff his face with your sweets, but he feels bad when you stare at him expectantly, waiting for him to try it. Instead, he'll encourage you to share it with your friends, saying that you thinking of him in the first place is good enough for him.

Leona Kingscholar

He's not a big fan of sweets unfortunately, he'll probably eat one or two of your cookies, but any more than that is too much for him.

Since he doesn't eat much of your sweets, he likes to watch you work. He thinks it's cute when you're focused, especially when you specifically scrunch up your nose.

Would definitely hug you from behind if it's just the two of you letting you do your thing. It's a win-win for him, he gets to hold onto you and keep you close to him while you get to work on what you want.

Jamil Viper

Jamil knows his way around the kitchen, so if you need any assistance with anything, he's more than happy to help assist you.

He's content with doing things his way, but if you have a specific way of doing things, like a routine when it comes to making baked goods he won't impede on it.

He might ask for your assistance for Kalim's numerous parties. He's always tasked with making large amounts of food, but this gives him an excuse to get him job done, but also time to be able to spend with you.

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[ask-narratordoe]

Who is Perseus ?

Novi sent by @temper-temper and @lumiere-angel-90

[miyaheestar]

babe deserves the world . i feel like even in canon they're ignored or like, not as recognized as angel is? i want an audio where sam notices or smth because i cannot take this any longer.

like an audio where they just talk and YEAHYEAH i get babe cant talk but atleast like a, inadequacy-insecurity comfort from sam would save me. just saying. "you're so more than asher's mate, and i'm sorry nobody's seein' that."AUGHHWAAH

i feel like because angel is david, the alpha's partner they get a whole lot of attention and recognition, atleast more than babe had ever gotten. istg they're getting the lovely treatment of being reduced to asher's partner and nothing more.

i do hope for more about babe's inner feelings/character is released soon cause like . thats wife ( gn ) right there . and you guys dont get them like i do. and obviously i cant blame people because its true, unless you're specially interested in babe, you probably won't see much of their character, whereas angel's "menace" personality is defined and makes them so pronounced in the fandom.

out of spite i will make babe headcanons

#nothatingonangel #putthegundown

IL OVENYOU MIYAMMWAAAAAAAHHHH

exactly you get me sarah!!!

babe has always been overlooked by the fandom it's lowkey annoying when someone is talking about the shaw pack listeners people will always put either sweetheart, darlin or angel first.

i get it that sweetheart and darlin is empowered so they're more likeable and angel is david's mate which is the alpha of the pack meanwhile i can see that not a lot of people like asher because of his voice (if you guys only hate him because of this yall sucks) and barely see that he's trying his best to be a good mate and beta.

erik barely give anything to babe which also make sense why people always ignored them and barely remember them. i wish erik can give more uniqueness(isthatevenaword) to babe and not just giving them the "unempowered overworked listener" treatment.

babe deserve so much better and i love them ALSO I LOVE YOU SARAH MWAHHHH

[tedlebred]

imlosing my mind .i am slowly goign insane

[mayashesfly]

Hi!!

I really love your idea with that Au where Vox forgot about Alastor. I hope you don't mind questions because I have a few 😅😅

Why did he erase his memories? Was it because it was too painful to remember, or was it because he couldn’t deal with the obsession anymore and wanted to move on? 

What will Alastor do about this? How do the Vees react to this information? Like they obviously know Alastor unlike Vox.

Thank you for expressing your interest and asking! I'm glad you enjoy the idea ^w^

I have also made another post about Forgotten Radio AU here if you like to read that. Though do take note that some of the things I've said here and there may be subject to change as I flesh out this AU of mine in time.

For the first question, it's a mixture of the two.

Before Alastor left for seven years, Alastor and Vox had a fight that spiralled out of control which caused Valentino to intervene, causing Vox and Valentino's left antenna to be both be damaged because of Alastor's pettiness. After that, Alastor disappeared while Vox and Valentino was recuperating from that fight.

(Velvette didn't intervene despite already being a part of the Vees at this point since she feels like she doesn't have the right to because she doesn't know the full context of Alastor and Vox's previous relationship and what Vox and Valentino had been through. Vox and Alastor was already having their bitter rivalry and fighting by the time Velvette manifested in Hell)

A major part of my personal take on Vox's character is that he has this built-in need to constantly improve himself so he doesn't lose the things he has in his life.

Vox knows that his obsession with Alastor has been negatively impacting his life and those around him. Especially since it was because of a fight between him and Alastor that Valentino lost his antenna.

When he ended up in a depressive episode and constantly trying to look for Alastor everywhere with his cameras, he ended up neglecting his relationship with Valentino and Velvette. Even Voxtek took a hit since the wound was still raw (literally)

He was at a standstill and he needed an intervention.

Stat.

The first initial "memory wipe" was an impulsive harsh decision on his part. It was sloppy and rough since Alastor was so intricately tied into his early memories in Hell.

But it worked.

At least, for a little bit.

One day, Vox left his office, greeting Valentino and Velvette. The two commenting on the other's more cheery attitude.

At first, Vox was disoriented from the memory wipe. But it instantly improved his mood like never before. For once since that someone's disappearance who is that someone? his mind was completely clear.

Some of his early memories with Valentino was also spotty however. But it eventually smoothened out and he was able to clearly recall those moments of Val.

Though that was not all.

For some reason, he can't bring himself to renovate certain buildings under his name. He didn't really know why but when he saw a certain torn up photo inside of one of his drawers near his bed....

Memories of Alastor flooded back inside his mind and the brutal cycle went again.

It was only after cleanly cutting himself away from the picture did his next memory wipe became much more successful.

He kept the photo of Alastor for business and planning reasons only.

But now there was nothing showing on the picture that he had ever been involved with that demon.

He had been able to find the root of the problem which has caused the failed memory wipe. But now that he has that sorted out and have the appropriate safety and preventive measures to ensure that won't happen again...

Alastor would never take from him again.

Not when he can't ever remember him again.

While Vox is a technology demon, his soul is still human. So despite being able to theoretically erase his memories from his physical body, they're still there spiritually inside of him. Not all demons are given a physical brain after all.

I mean one of the Overlords is a skull on fire, there's probably not a brain there somewhere. And Vox can LITERALLY change his head. Not only that but I'm sure some Sinners got their brains fucked one way or another before fully regenerating, but they'll still probably retain their memory. So yeah, I'm going with the soul shenanigans route on this one.

One of Vox's "preventive measures" to ensure his memory wipe business won't unravel ever again is by wiping his short-term memory about any interaction and mention of the Radio Demon. It was inevitable that one of the Vees would question him about Alastor even after he informed them of his decision after all.

That's also the reason why after Val informed Vox about Alastor return and residence in the Hazbin Hotel that he forgot about him again and thought Alastor was a new upcoming Overlord during the meeting.

My apologies for the long winded explaining-turned-writing. That's just how my brain works when explaining these things :P

Now on your second question!

At first, Alastor would do subtle gestures in order to gain Vox's attention hopefully. However each failed attempt would make his frustration slowly grow and grow over time.

When Alastor caught sight of the painfully obvious Vox drones around the hotel, he purposefully posed in front of them a few times, hoping to finally gloat out the tv-headed demon from his hiding. Much to his growing annoyance and confusion though, nothing happened as the drones flew passed him due to the corrupting footage in order to clearly see what else was happening in the hotel. He did this for a few times a day in slowly increasing frequency for the entire week before Sir Pentious attacked the hotel again and proceeded to get fucked over for ruining Alastor's coat. Alastor barely letting the poor demon alive thanks to Charlie's pleas.

Alastor has missed Vox.

After his seven years of absence, the first place he went to was the very first store front he helped Vox to get and buy. The Radio Shack. At first, those picture boxes were the newest thing in town. And he didn't even stain them with the innards of his enemies!

But a certain broadcast brought him back to reality as to why he was able to go back to hell as he stared at the image of the Princess of Hell, Charlie Morningstar.

Vox has already sold some of the old tvs despite being stained and bloodied, unlike in Canon because of his lack of attachment.

Alastor was banking on Vox to notice his absence and do something about it just like old times. However a week of waiting and nothing had happened. Except for the new additions of drones around the hotel he resided in.

He thought by some point surely Vox would do something as he posed in front of the cameras subtly. But nothing happened for a week and Alastor started to feel confused because he didn't know if Vox was actually paying attention to him when those stupid flying things were just ignoring him!

(In my mind, the reason why Alastor looked mildly annoyed at Vox's broadcast in Stayed Gone was because he thought Vox would've confronted him directly instead of dissing him on the screen. It was a special occasion after all! He just came back from a seven year absence! But no. He still happily took the chance though and quickly ran/teleported back into his radio tower to diss him back)

After the confrontation between the two of them in the Overlord Meeting, it takes Alastor a while to puzzle out what Vox did to himself. He doesn't fully know that Vox actually completely wiped his memories of him but he does know that Vox doesn't seem to care about him anymore, even with their bitter rivalry and that hurt.

It was yet another thing that changed when it was somrthing he could always count on despite how fucked up that is.

His frustration starts being inflicted onto other people who were unfortunate enough to cross his path while he's fuming about this change (ei Sir Pentious and possibly Husker later down the line)

And his want to get back Vox's attention eventually escalates to him destroying some of Vox's properties by asking his Shadow. Starting small like a few drones and cameras, to some of the store fronts of his. (But never the Radio Shack. Never that.)

Even with Alastor's feelings about Vox ignoring him, he would never risk his reputation by overtly and directly trying to get Vox's attention by himself.

The only way I can see this plot between Alastor and Vox progress is when enough time has passed and Alastor's inhibitors and self-control snapped that he physically teleports himself into Vox's office to directly confront him. (It hurt to use his shadow to travel there with all the blinding lights but the hidden radio in his office helped to ease the stinging pain a little)

Or Vox directly involves himself with the Hazbin Hotel because he never sent in Sir Pentious himself and he still had to make sure that the Radio Demon, a previously powerful Overlord, wouldn't make a deal with the Princess of Hell of all people. (Unlike Canon Vox, he has enough tact to stay in the same room as Alastor to not need a proxy. On the topic of Sir Pentious, it's currently a toss up if he'll ever enter the Hazbin Hotel or not and fuck up the timeline big time)

Once Alastor realized just how badly Vox fucked up that he erased his memories of him, he would try his best to jog his memory.

But constantly having to reintroduce yourself to Vox because his memories of you keeo getting wiped away is excruciating.

"Are you new around here?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm sorry, I don't think we've met before"

"It's nice to meet the man helping Princess Charlie with her endeavor"

"Oh! So you're the Radio Demon himself?"

"I'm Vox from Voxtek, the Leader of the Vees. Nice to meet you"

So any of his progress, no matter how little or large would get erased the next meeting. Even if he just left his sight for even a moment....

It was going nowhere.

He can never ever reconnect with Vox ever again.

Just like he wanted.

Even as his friendship bloomed with the Princess and the residents, even as his powers and influence continue to grow, it was always back to square one with him.

He was so close, yet he was the farthest he's ever been to him.

"You've never cared about me, Alastor. What changed now?"

Now with the Vees, Valentino was rather furious and hurt the first time it happened. Vox didn't even consult him, didn't even say anything to him about this decision! And it hurt when Vox seemed to have also lost some of his memories of him. Velvette had also been enraged and confused about Vox's actions. It was needless to say they were both unnerved.

It took a while, but they got used to it and Vox getting back his memories of Valentino helped.

Vox was happier this way after all, and it wasn't like they can do anything to revert his decision even if it was done in impulse...

However, it had been difficult for them when Vox had a relapse after regaining his memoried of Alastor. The grief was raw and fresh again which didn't help matters.

This time around though, despite Vox's distressed state, they did talk about his decision and vowed to try to never mention the Radio Demon again. It still takes them some time adjusting though, and even Val falls through on his old habits sometimes.

They know it was Vox's decision and they respect that. Even if it hurts a bit, at least he was happy.

I hope this sufficiently answered your questions even if most ended up as writing instead of concise explanations. Thank you for asking these questions! It makes me happy to see you guys are interested! ^w^ ^w^

[ashertickler]

redacted characters as brooklyn 99 characters cos it's one of my top 3 sitcoms and i feel like waffling 🙂‍↕️

jake - asher

amy - babe (THE DRAGON WARRIOR !! IT'S ME !!! /ref)

charles - milo

rosa - darlin

terry - huxley

gina - freelancer

raymond - david

kevin - anton

hitchcock - blake

scully - nick idk

pimento - porter

doug - gavin

wuntch - alexis

teddy - ivan

the vulture - kody

stentley - christian

(thx aria pooks for helping me out with some of these sillies hehe)

[spellboundcities]

heh spellbound-chan. you should draw sad yaoi man crying image marble hornets.. heh. if u want too. Ig.

[noteverystarisasun]

[Yeva has got you: A chiffon sized, caramel filled, vanilla drizzled Beanut.]

[AW ate the beanut whole, he hasn't had anything sweet in a while.]

--

Rotoscoping/reference by Micah: That one friend who MIGHT belong in jail:

[i thought this ask was funny so i had to rotoscope it for the funny before the lore related ones-]

[bassguitarinablackt-shirt]

We have the same name and have been mutuals for a while so I’m claiming you as my friend.

YAY!!! YIPEE!!!

[puffin-smoke]

OKAY I'm curious about this one

[sharkenedfangs]

— ★ “OH, SO YOU BOTHERED CHECKING, HUH? GOOD.”

— “just know that if you’re reading this, you’re reading this till the end. or get the rules in at least. please? please, fuck??”

╰┈➤ asher. | 20. | he/him | bi w/ heavy fem lean. | mdni.

╰┈➤ “what I’m into?” DOL. | HSR. | SDV. | ..yeah.

— ★ NEWEST WRITING? : — ☆ “PRETTY BOY.”

— ★ HEY, WHAT ABOUT REQUESTS? hit me with it and if it catches my interest, I’ll be of service as best as I can. just wanna ramble and chat? you’re free to do so too.

LET’S SET SOME GROUND RULES, ALRIGHT?

╰┈➤ Getting past the obvious, MINORS and AGELESS blogs will be blocked. I’m not here to be your daddy and tell you off for being a kid in an 18+ space. Got something displayed below 18 on your blog? Fuck off. No age either? Well, you can fuck off too. If I blocked you, y’know why.

╰┈➤ Take into account that I majorly write for male readers, sometimes gender-neutral reader if you’re lucky, so if you’re seeking for afab or fem, I hate to break it to you— we all have balls n’ cocks here. As for the characters? Any gender.

╰┈➤ I’ve written or probably eventually will— dark content. This includes all the nasty shit that parents vehemently reprimand their children from seeking. Y’know, pseudo-incest, non/dub-con, yandere, monsterfucking, piss— that’s right. piss to say it twice. age gaps as long as they’re adults, you name it. Everything that would’ve made a nun uncomfortable.

╰┈➤ “Does this mean you condone all of this?” Fuck no. Except for the pissing part. Piss on your bullies as revenge, I promise they’ll be scarred for life. ..That was a joke.

╰┈➤ “Can we be friends/mutuals?” Sure, if you wanna chat. My discords ‘johan.4085’ or we can just go raw in the tumblr DM’s if that’s more your thing. Whatever suits you best.

➛ HOLY FUCK, THE MASTER LIST? YEAH.

— ★ DEGREES OF LEWDITY. (DOL)

— ☆ “SIMMERING BENEATH.”

— ☆ “PRETTY BOY.”

— ☆ “BITTER SWEETNESS IS BEST SERVED COLD.”

— ☆ “SWEET LIKE NECTAR.”

— ☆ “IN THE IMAGE OF YOU.”

— ☆ “INTERLOCK YOUR LIPS WITH MINE.”

— ☆ “YOU REALLY ARE A FREAK.. KYLAR.”

— ☆ “WINTER FEVER SURE SUCKS, DOESN’T IT?”

— ☆ “IT SHOULD BE ME, YOU LOOK AT — NOT HIM.”

— ☆ “SPIRALLING CYCLE — I MEET YOU HERE, AGAIN.”

— “woah, read this far? I’m proud of you for beating the person’s average attention span. that’s real impressive.”

[tempvstas]

Hey, I wish to request the (platonic) dorms leader with GN!reader who as random burst of energy? I have adhd and when I'm on sugar or caffeine I have like a 15 minutes where I raise hell, sing horrible songs, say jokes that could probably make me go to prison, I would just run around, just doing chaotic things until 15min later I would sleep like a dead. I always bring my younger siblings with me on "adventure" wich is just me playing in mud even tho they didn't ask for anything but peace. Thanks a lot!

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Content Warning(s): none

Character(s): GN!Reader(no pronouns mentioned), Riddle Rosehearts, Leona Kingscholar, Azul Ashengrotto, Kalim Al-Asim, Vil Schoenheit, Idia Shroud, Malleus Draconia

Authors Notes: omg you're like me frfr, the ADHD zoomies are so real HAHAHAHAHHA

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Riddle Rosehearts

Your energy is a lot for him to handle and he can feel a headache coming on

You remind him a lot of Ace with your random bouts of energy and such

Keeps all sweets out of reach of you, he doesn't want to cause you to go on another sugar rush only to crash soon after

He's your impulse control lol

Leona Kingscholar

You're like a feral cat lol, he'll pick you up by the back of your shirt and hold you like that until you chill out.

You remind him of Cheka, annoyingly endearing.

If you rouse him from his nap, he'll glare at you from a distance away, his ears twitching from all the noise.

Please do not the cat :]

Azul Ashengrotto

As if one Floyd wasn't enough now he has two to deal with.

Please spare him, there's only so much he can handle at a given time LMAO

His hair is already gray but you're just giving him more lmao

nono please do not touch his stack of very important papers. yes arson is fun. what are you doing NONO DONT PULL OUT A MATCH-

Kalim Al-Asim

omg ADHD buddies, rip Jamil you will be missed

You two are perfect for each other, he'll sing along with you, laugh at your dumb jokes, literally the perfect duo friendship :]]

you are not allowed to sit next to each other, the professors make sure you two are as far away from each other as possible lmaooo

when the two of you zonk out after your adhd zoomies Jamil can find you passed out with your head resting against his shoulder and his cheek pressed against the top of your head.

Vil Schoeheit

will not tolerate your zoomies, this man will try to straighten you out like he did with Epel(does it work tho? we'll never know)

would pick you up by the back of your shirt like Leona, but instead he has Rook hold you under your armpits where you dangle like a cat

he can feel a headache coming along LMAO

has Rook herd you around whenever you come by pomefiore to commit crimes

Idia Shroud

ew a normie...OH NO YOURE EXTROVERTED

has Ortho handle you because he cannot handle your energy. he's secretly happy to see you and Ortho getting along tho

he likes you better after you've crashed and passed out /j

relates to you on things like hyperfixating on things that are interesting to you and if you have any shared interests he will gladly talk to you about it for hours.

Malleus Draconia

he thinks you're amusing, you remind him a lot of Lilia and is happy to see the two of you getting along with your antics.

he doesn't understand what you mean by "YOUR MOTHER" whenever you bicker with Sebek, but he watches in amusement as Sebek gets all riled up.

he sees himself in you when you get excited about what you like, it's the same way he gets when he talks about gargoyles

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[vind3miat0r]

Choose a redacted character, and then share what Halloween couple costume you two would go as!

cant do that, however, i will do what i think couples would go as for Halloween :)

Milo & Sweetheart: Morticia and Gomez Addams (i said this before and ill say it again theyve definitely dressed up as them before)

Lasko & Dear: Cole and Clementine from Meadowlark/Yaelokre (its the vibes guys trust trust)

Vincent & Lovely: Sally Face and Larry (this mainly stems from my Lovely oc having blue hair but they would totally go as Sal and Larry heheh >:3)

David & Angel: Miguel O'Hara and LYLA (someone already said this before but yeah :3)

Asher & Babe: Miles Morales and Gwen Stacy (have to match with David n Angel, and half because of the vibes, trust)

uhh yeah thats all i can think of atm 👍

[thornofthelily]

Asher and Babe, wake up kiss? 😚💖

Not me writing this after waking up at 5am

He had told them he needed to be up early. Important job, beta responsibilities, something something- not that Babe hadn't been listening, but Asher had also been getting ready for a shower and, well. Anyway, they got the gist of it. Asher needed to be awake, and he wasn't yet. Which was never great because Asher was impossible to wake up.

With a hand on his shoulder, they gently tipped him onto his back, with hardly a grimace or flinch disturbing his sleeping face. Babe loved this face, smiling slightly even when asleep, tiny crows feet in the corners of his eyes from the way he scrunched them when he laughed. They could only smile, looking down at their silly, sweet, kind, loving partner, and imagined pinching those cheeks until he woke with indignation. It might have been funny, but right now it seemed too cruel to play a prank on that peaceful face.

They leaned in and pressed their lips to his, meant to be a silent apology for whatever they needed to do to wake him. But he made the happiest, tiniest little sound somewhere deep in his chest, sleeping smile widening. Babe laughed- this sensitive, and not even awake? They gave him another kiss, and won another happy sound. Kiss after kiss after soft giggling kiss, from both of them, and gradually they began to notice that Asher started kissing them back. At first he moved slowly, barely responding, just unconscious muscle memory responding, but his attention grew warmer, more focused, his happy groans drawing out into long contented groans. When a palm slid to the back of Babe's neck, they knew they finally had him. Pulling on both those hands, they sat back, yoinking him up to a sitting position. Asher sleepily protested and went in for more, and Babe smiled, whispering a good morning into each kiss. A good start to the day.

[lynzishell]

List 5 facts about a favorite sim of yours, and send this to 10 simblrs whose sims you adore ♥♥♥

Ahhh TYSM for sending me this ask!!! Honestly, the timing could not be more perfect because I have been wanting to give Lex the spotlight for quite some time now!! I cannot tell you how much I ✨adore✨ this girl!!! And let me tell you why....

💚Lex McPhee💚

Ahhh we love Lex, you guys! She is loud and extroverted and optimistic and compassionate and gives the biggest tightest hugs in the whole world! She's protective of those she loves, and has no issue telling off those she despises. She's very honest, and will always tell you truth, even if it hurts, but she won't be insensitive about it. Like.. "I know you don't want to hear this, but I'll be here with you while you process it" kinda vibes.

"Lex" is actually short for Lexus, which she absolutely hates. No one who wants to keep all their teeth would ever call her that... even her parents eventually gave it up. (She'd probably be angry that I even told you so shhhhh)

Speaking of her parents... She does not get along with them. They aren't necessarily terrible, they've just never seen eye to eye. They're very materialistic and snobbish and care too much about appearances. They fought a lot when she was growing up, and she was happy to leave home as soon as she could.

Where's that you ask? Brindleton Bay, of course! She grew up there, as did Asher, and the two of them have been Best Friends since middle school. They're both very energetic and animated when they speak, so the two of them telling a story together is either overwhelming or hilarious, depending on the person. And they tend to rile each other up and start bickering or wrestling or having silly competitions that spring up out of nowhere. (Lex is also *very* competitive lol)

After high school, she moved to San Myshuno. While she was sad that Ash didn't join her, she was glad to be in the city. She got a job as a tester at a gaming company while she went to school, and eventually became a developer there. And this is where she met Atlas! The two of them became friends quickly.. the extrovert adopting the introvert.. a tale as old as time.

BONUS: A few years later, Asher moved in with Lex in San Myshuno and got a job at the same gaming company where he met Atlas 🥰 Stay tuned for more on that in Part 4 🤸🏻‍♀️✨

Thank you again for sending me this ask!! ILYSM and I'm sending you Lex-style squeeeezees!!! 💖💖💖