#( and yes they had also stolen some strangers' cookies and milk )

[endexe]

[ redacted ] would definitely break into people’s homes just so they can steal? eat some of their cookies ( and maybe take a sip of milk to try out the taste, but they’d definitely drink the whole thing if it’s chocolate milk ).

[lovemesomesurveys]

Thought I Couldn't Top It, Huh? OVER 2000 Questions! (Truly the Longest!) Created by distortedcognition Part 10 Have you Ever... Gone on a cruise? Nope. They sound kind of fun, but the thought of being stuck out in the middle of the water, especially for so long, terrifies me. I’m sure I’d also get sick and that wouldn’t be fun either. Beaten someone up? No. Been beaten up? No. Bullied someone? No. Been bullied? No. Attempted suicide? No. Attempted murder? Jeez, no. Nearly died? Yes, twice. Broken the law? Little things that everyone did like downloading music and whatnot. Stolen something? When I was a kid I thought the candy in the big candy bins at the grocery store were free to take. They were not. Whoops.

Had an abortion? No. Known the president? Not personally. Had an affair with the president? No. Met a famous person? Yes. I’ve met Jamie Lee Curtis and Drake Bell. Gah, I can’t believe he turned out to be a perverted creep. I had such a big crush on him back in the day. Had an affair? No. Been out of the country? Yes, I went to Mexico. Out of state? Yeah, a few times. I’ve been to Arizona, Idaho, and Georgia.  Out of your town? Many times. Written a poem? Yes, I dabbled with it a little as a teen. They’re suuuper cringe. A story? Yeah. I loved writing short stories when I was like 12-14. I’m sad I don’t have access to those. A novel? No. A song? I think I’ve tried before; probably during the days I was writing poetry. Gotten published? No. I never sent anything in or anything.  Written a love poem? Yes. Said that you hated the world? Yeah. Finished school? Yep, yep. Flunked a grade? No.

Flunked a subject? I had to retake a math course in community college. I totally blame the professor, though, who was truly awful. She was so mean and not helpful at all.I always struggled with math, but I also always managed to get by even if just barely. When I retook the course with a different professor I passed with a B, sooo. Read a book for enjoyment? Most definitely. I’ve loved to read since I was a little kid and have read a lot of books throughout my life. I read quite a bit. Bungee jumped? Nooo. Skydived? Nooo. Danced? Yeah. Been to a dance? Yeah, I went to a few in middle school and then my high school formal and prom. Scuba dived? Nooo.

Broken a bone? Yes. Gotten a nose bleed? No. Gone to the beach? Many times. I love the beach. 

Gone fishing? I tried it for a bit once. Not my thing. Gone to an island? No. Died in a dream? No. I’ve been attacked and sought after, but never actually died. Had a dream that came true? Yeah. Kissed someone in the rain? Nope. Gotten pregnant? No. Eaten calamari? I’ve tried fried calamari.  Lobster? No. Helped anybody during the holidays? I’ve donated to things during the holidays. Helped a stranger? Yes. Kissed a stranger? No. Hugged a stranger? I’m not someone who just hugs everyone.

Can You... Kiss your elbow? No. Touch your nose with your tongue? No. Stick your fist in your mouth? Barely. Touch your toes? Yeah. Give away money?: I could give away some. Marry a family member? Uh, absolutely not. Hire an assassin? No! Stay up all night? Yeah, I do so all the time. Stay up for /ten/ nights? Um, no definitely not. Finish this survey? Yeah.  

Swim? No. Draw well? No. I wish I had some artistic abilities. Sing well? Nope, don’t have that talent either unfortunately. Write well? I’ve been told that. Probably not anymore since I don’t do so anymore. It’s been awhile now.

Eat a box of chocolates in an hour? Definitely not. I could only have like 2. Eat an entire package of Oreos in a half an hour? Nooo. I’d have like 2-3, maybe 4. Without milk? I always have to have something to dip my cookies in. Predict the future? Nope. I don’t believe anyone can. You can try of course by studying patterns and whatnot and you might just get it right, but...

Would you Ever...

Lie to a friend? I can’t say I never have before. Lie to your parents? I have. Lie to a lover? I have. Steal from your parents? No. Hug them in public? Yes? Blow up your house? Wtf, no. Abuse someone? Nooo. What’s with these type of questions? Use someone? I hate to say I have done that before. I know how it feels and it’s really shitty. :/ Recommend this survey to a friend? To anyone on here who might be interested in taking it.

Would you ever Be... A fireman? No. Policeman? No. Serial killer? N O.  Doctor? No. Surgeon? No. Prostitute? No. Playboy model? No. Writer? I used to like writing for fun when I was younger, but I’m definitely not cut out to be a writer. I wouldn’t want to make it my career. It would be too stressful and not enjoyable anymore with that pressure. Artist? I have no artistic abilities. Musician? I have no musical talents either. I’m truly talentless, ya’ll.  Assassin? Nooo. Ninja? No. Soldier? No. President? No. Darth Vader? No. Pilot? No. Mortician? No. Forensic scientist? No. Detective? No. I enjoy reading and watching mysteries or playing mystery games for fun and tying to figure who did it, but I wouldn’t want to actually be a detective. Lawyer? No. Drug-dealer? No. Pirate? No. Box-carrier? No. Store clerk? Gah, I’m not cut out for retail so ideally no. I’ve heard too many horror stories. Retail workers are the real MVPS for the shit they have to deal with let me tell ya. Banker? No. Criminal? No, omg. Professional wrestler? No. Tennis player? No. Rapper? No. Country singer? No. Pop star? No. Actor? No. Plastic surgeon? No.

[timetrickster]

Aloha Oe X Edith Nox Crossover Episode 1: World’s Collide

So after drawing up @cometworks OC’s. I thought to have fun and collab with her characters and my main character and make a crossover. In the form of episodes. Sooo I hope ye enjoy it.

FADE IN

EXT. THE DEPTHS OF SPACE

Space. Literally space. The darkest depths of the unknown, holding what many couldn’t even anticipate. Asteroids shooting from different ends of the galaxy. Ships from different worlds traveling, fighting, floating. Even a planet that’s lost its gravity axis and floats like a pinball in a vast universe.

But right now… a space battle between two ships. The Eternity… the time ship piloted by the time-traveling alien hero of Universe Designation: 727 Justin Oras. He chases down an alien threat… a Vis, known as Imperium. An energy absorber who had recently stolen a supply of Quasar Energy Fuel. When used by someone dangerous it could destroy half a world.

The Eternity chases after the ship that Imperium flies.

INT. ETERNITY COMMAND DECK

JUSTIN

Enoch! How are we looking with the fuel?

ENOCH’S voice only appears.

ENOCH

We have enough fuel captain.

JUSTIN

Good. Fire photon cannons now.

EXT. SPACE

The Eternity fires blasts off light hit the right wing of Imperium’s ship. All of a sudden a wave of cosmic energy comes toward both ships. Making Imperium’s ship disappear first.

INT. ETERNITY COMMAND DECK

Justin looks on as he realizes the wave of cosmic energy come at him.

JUSTIN

Oh, shi-

The wave of cosmic energy grabs onto the Eternity too and disappears.

CUT TO

EXT. UNIVERSE 528

It’s a lovely day on this Universe’s Earth. A lovely girl named Edith Nox who loves gardening is planting some new flowers in her garden. Enjoying a rather sunshine filled day. When all of a sudden, something shining in the sky lands near her home. Sensing the emotional distress of a specific person. She rushes over immediately only to find a huge but damaged plane parked near her home.

A door on its side opens up and JUSTIN ORAS, dizzy and tired from the cosmic energy wave walks out. The ship turns invisible immediately in the sight of EDITH appearing. JUSTIN falls into the ground and EDITH rushes over to help this stranger in a long coat, holding him up by carrying his arms around her.

EDITH

Are you, okay mister?

JUSTIN instantly knocks out as his head drops and his body becomes heavy.

EDITH (cont’d)

You’re really heavy mister!

EDITH drags him to her home and sets him on her couch.

EDITH (cont’d)

You’re very very heavy mister.

EDITH pulls out her phone, this sleek and thin and clear rectangle and makes a call.

CUT TO

INT. EDITH’S LIVING ROOM. AFTERNOON

JUSTIN wakes up instantly, finding himself shirtless with bandages wrapped around his wounds. His stomach wrapped in bandage wrap as well as his right wrist. He looks to his left and sees EDITH coming in and two other people. One with long hair and also wearing a long coat. Another with curly hair and wearing sports clothing.

EDITH

Hello, are you okay?

She rushes over with a cup full of water. Still dizzy he nods then shakes his head real quick.

JUSTIN

Hello… um, my name is Justin Oras.

EDITH

Hello Justin, my name is Edith. These are my friends Noemi and Violet.

JUSTIN

Hello. Uh. Where am I?

EDITH

You’re in my home.

JUSTIN

No… I mean what planet am I on?

EDITH chuckles a bit.

EDITH

You must’ve hit your head really hard. Um… we’re on Earth.

JUSTIN

The year?

EDITH

3006

JUSTIN

WHAT?!

ENOCH’S hologram form appears as Justin’s phone on the table projects her.

ENOCH

Captain.

VIOLET responds with a fighting stance and what appeared to be ice sharpened to form weapons. NOEMI’S wings sprout open as a sign of surprise. EDITH looks at ENOCH with fear and curiosity.

JUSTIN

Enoch. Where are we?

ENOCH

We are in Universe Designation 528.

VIOLET

What is that thing? An Energy being?

JUSTIN

She’s an AI.

They all looked confused.

VIOLET

She’s a computer’s brain?

JUSTIN

She’s a living computer.

VIOLET

That’s impossible.

JUSTIN

Not where I’m from.

ENOCH

To repeat, we are in Universe designation 528.

JUSTIN

Any known information?

ENOCH

From what I am able to find in the nearest databanks. This universe’s Earth was ravaged by an apocalyptic event. The survivors had mutated and are now capable of magical abilities.

JUSTIN looks at the three of them.

JUSTIN

Cool. Another magic universe.

EDITH

What did she mean “this universe”?

JUSTIN not knowing how to explain this, his face holds anxiousness.

JUSTIN

Uh… I’m from a different universe.

EDITH & NOEMI

What?!

VIOLET

Impossible!

JUSTIN

It’s true and to add on to the shock. I’m also an alien.

EDITH & NOEMI WHAT?!

EDITH

An… alien?

JUSTIN

Yeah.

EDITH

Like… from space and stuff?

JUSTIN

Yeah.

EDITH takes a big breath in.

EDITH

THAT’S SO COOL! Oh my Eden! You have to tell me more about yourself! What’s your home like?! How often do you travel in space?! IS THERE A PLANET FULL OF FLOWERS?!

EDITH’S face shows surprise while NOEMI was about to have a nervous breakdown. VIOLET stood there believing this all was lies.

VIOLET

You guys seriously don’t believe this right?

EDITH zooms past VIOLET and sit’s face to face with JUSTIN.

JUSTIN

You’re pretty excitable aren’t you?

He laughs a little and smiles.

But to answer your questions. It’s an amazing place. A sun shaped like an “X”, midnight blue grass. Leaves made out of gemstones. It’s a lovely place.

EDITH

YES! Ooh! THAT SOUNDS AMAZING! CAN WE GO THERE RIGHT NOW?!

JUSTIN

Um…

He falls silent. Through Edith’s POV, she feels a wave of tragedy suddenly hit her.

EDITH

Oh my… I’m sorry.

JUSTIN

No. No. Don’t be sorry. It’s alright.

He reassures her. JUSTIN gets up and puts on his shirt and grabs his phone.

JUSTIN

Is there a place you guys like to eat? I’m actually starving… jumping universes has some effects and hunger is one of them.

EDITH

There’s Mapple Brew Coffee Shop nearby. They could have so foods and deserts.

JUSTIN sees his long coat and puts it on.

JUSTIN

Lead the way, Edith.

EDITH does a salute and walks out the door. JUSTIN motions NOEMI and VIOLET to go first. NOEMI gives him a smile and walks out the door. VIOLET confronts him for a bit.

VIOLET

I don’t know who you are… or whatever this alien and different universe crap is. But if you hurt my friends I will kill you. You get one warning.

JUSTIN

Got it.

VIOLET exits the door and JUSTIN follows and closes the door to the house.

NOEMI

Any Transports at this time?

EDITH

Nope. Dang.

JUSTIN

We can take my ship.

They all turn to look at him. He nods his head to the right as a motion to follow him. With a snap of his finger, the Eternity reveals itself from its a hidden veil. JUSTIN stands like a showman with his arms up.

JUSTIN (cont’d)

Say hello to The Eternity.

EDITH’S eyes are widened as if gigantic stars took place of her pupils. NOEMI surprised by the reveal, his wings unfurled. VIOLET holds a serious face but shocked at the reveal.

EDITH

An alien ship! It’s an alien ship! Oooooh!

NOEMI

Oh my goodness.

VIOLET grabs him by the coat collar.

VIOLET

How did you do that?!

JUSTIN was scared of her anger authority. EDITH tries to pull JUSTIN off from VIOLET’S grip of death.

EDITH

Violet!

She lets go of him. JUSTIN fixes his collar and the side door to the cargo bay opens.

JUSTIN

Come in, guys.

They all walk into the ship. As they walk throughout the ship, EDITH & NOEMI look around every corner and scrutinize every detail. Meanwhile VIOLET looks unimpressed with the ship. They arrive at the command deck. ENOCH’S hologram appears and greets them all.

ENOCH

Hello, Captin. Ms. Nox, Mr. Sol, Highness Choi.

EDITH

Hello… Enoch right?

ENOCH

Yes, Ms. Nox. Hello to you too.

JUSTIN sits on the “Captain’s Chair” and starts pressing buttons.

JUSTIN

Has the self-repairs, repaired the ship?

ENOCH

The ship is at full capacity and up and running. Where to then?

EDITH

Ooh! Maple Brews Coffee House.

ENOCH

Alright then. Plotting a course to Maple Brew Coffee House. You three might want to sit down for this.

EDITH, NOEMI, & VIOLET do so and put on the strap that holds them in place. The Eternity rises into the sky slowly and JUSTIN holding onto a lever pushes it forward and the ship zooms instantly. The rush pushes back EDITH, NOEMI, & VIOLET as it was there first time riding in an alien spaceship. JUSTIN parks the ship near large park’s field. He turns around in his chair to find the three having a headache.

JUSTIN

Dammit, I should have warned you of the effects of flying on a time ship for first timers.

JUSTIN takes off the strap of EDITH first to which she falls on the ground like a blob.

JUSTIN

Jelly bones…

He helps EDITH up into her seat. NOEMI screams, and VIOLET speech is mismatched.

NOEMI

I can’t see!

VIOLET

WHAT US YOU DID DO TO?!

JUSTIN

Temporary blindness and Speech impairment. Should last for a couple of minutes.

CUT TO:

INT. MAPLE BREW COFFEE HOUSE.

The three friends and their newly found alien friend enjoying their mini cafe drinks. EDITH & NOEMI enjoying Rasberry Teas and VIOLET enjoying an iced coffee. JUSTIN enjoying a random drink with milk and cookies times seven.

EDITH

Can you tell us more about you?

JUSTIN

Uh… I was born on the planet of Chronos. I lived with my family until my 115th birthday.

EDITH

YOU’RE OVER A HUNDRED YEARS OLD?! You look like our age!

JUSTIN

Well… I’m currently 117. I’m technically a teenager in my years. So I’m still pretty young.

NOEMI

Do you know anyone different looking where you’re from?

JUSTIN

Of course dude. I come from space. Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes. One of my adopted brother’s is a Volantigar. They’re basically humans with wings.

NOEMI

Did you say wings?

JUSTIN

Yeah, dude. You remind me of Icarus a lot. Those wings are apart of that. Love the jet black feathers too.

NOEMI

Thank you, that means a lot.

JUSTIN

No, problem Nomei.

VIOLET

What are you doing here? In our “Universe”?

EDITH

Violet… don’t be mean.

VIOLET

He should explain his presence here.

JUSTIN

It’s fine. Um, I’m considered a hero in my universe. A legendary hero named The Time Trickster. I was after a wanted mad man, who had stolen a supply of Quasar Fuel. He’s also an energy absorber and with that supply he has… he could level a city. I shot his ship down before the cosmic wave threw me and the ship into this universe. It was a simple mistake really, I didn’t expect the cosmic wave to appear.

VIOLET

That is quite understandable. It is a pleasure to meet a warrior of your status. This Energy Absorber his name?

JUSTIN

Imperium of the Vis.

VIOLET

He sounds easy to defeat.

JUSTIN worried for his friend’s new safety warns her of IMPERIUM.

JUSTIN

He is no simple villain, Violet. He is an energy absorber.

VIOLET

I am one of the greatest fighters of the kingdom. As well as a renowned Cryomancer of my generation. I can beat someone from another universe.

EDITH

Sorry about, Violet. She’s a sorta… headstrong?

JUSTIN

Don’t worry… I understand what it’s like to be that way. My adopted mom from Gaia knows I tend to be that way.

EDITH

Oh my Eden!  Did you say Gaia?! TELL ME! TELL ME!

JUSTIN chuckles a bit.

JUSTIN

Oh, yeah haha. My adopted family comes from called Gaia.  And yes it’s a planet full flowers. It is known as the Everlasting Garden or the Planet of Nature.

EDITH froze for a few seconds as her heart had dropped hearing the words “Garden” & “Nature”.

JUSTIN

Is Edith okay?

NOEMI

She loves gardening… she tends to be like this.

EDITH

TELL ME MORE!

She smiles forever.

JUSTIN

After I was banished from my homeworld.

VIOLET

Banished?!

JUSTIN

I landed on the nearest planet in a nearby galaxy with humanoid looks. I was then adopted by High Queen Angelique The Rose and well I became a prince along with my 7 other adopted siblings.

EDITH

Please take me there one day! Please! Oh, I never asked, what are you? Since you’re an alien an all… what are you specifically?

JUSTIN

I’m a Time Walker. I already mentioned I’m a hundred years old and come from Chronos. I’m also a time traveler.

EDITH

No way!

NOEMI

You can travel in time?!

VIOLET

Hm.

JUSTIN

What?

VIOLET

I’ll believe it when I see it.

JUSTIN

I’ll prove it to you all.

Suddenly out of nowhere IMPERIUM shows up destroying whatever he sees in sight. A large featureless being with glowing red color and white eyes shaped to be evil.

JUSTIN

Imperium!

JUSTIN reaches near the right side of his head but grabs air instead.

JUSTIN

Crap I forgot my weapons

VIOLET

I true warrior needs no weapons.

VIOLET runs out of the cafe with EDITH & NOEMI following leaving JUSTIN.

VIOLET

Hey, Imperium!

IMPERIUM turns around to see VIOLET.

IMPERIUM

Oh a brave little girl, come to fight me?

VIOLET smirks,

VIOLET

Yes.

She raises both arms up, with palms open instantly firing her ice-cold powers. EDITH jumps in, waving her hands like making a sphere and creating this orb of green energy and blasting it toward him. NOEMI flies into battle and summons vapors of skull beings of death at his side to fight. Flying while firing what he could at IMPERIUS. IMPERIUS having absorbed their magic as energy.

IMPERIUM

Delicious… what do you call that? Magic, am I correct? You just gave me a boost of energy, children.

IMPERIUM’S body began to mutate from the magic absorbed. His right arm froze with ice, his aura of red mixed in with the green emotional energy. The left side of his face developed what appeared to be a skull. Shocked by this reveal of power displayed, IMPERIUM raises his frozen right arm about to blast all three mages. When suddenly he is frozen himself.

JUSTIN appears behind them, his right arm raised and hand clenched into a fist holding a shining blue orb of sorts.

JUSTIN

Hey guys. You didn’t have to ditch me.

VIOLET

How are you doing that?!

JUSTIN

My people can control the flow of time.

EDITH Awesome!

JUSTIN waves his hand and IMPERIUM disappears.

NOEMI

Where’d he go?

JUSTIN

I was thinking about the bottom of the ocean.

EDITH

You sent him there?!

JUSTIN

Yup.

EDITH

We won!

JUSTIN

We may have, but my ship isn’t fully repaired I can make a Dimensional Jump till she’s fully repaired. I can still fly her, I just can’t jump anywhere yet.

EDITH

So that means you’re stuck here?

JUSTIN

For a while yeah…

EDITH

Awesome!

JUSTIN looks at her confused.

EDITH (cont’d)

Awesome as in you’re staying for a while… sorry…

JUSTIN smiles

JUSTIN

I’m kidding, I guess I can crash at your place, Edith?

EDITH

Of course! We can show you around this universe too! That will be fun!

JUSTIN

I’d love that.

The four friends return to the ship and fly back to EDITH’S home where they had a small party to themselves.

CUT TO

EXT. BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN

IMPERIUM’S body still frozen is rescued by a figure in a dark cloak. With a snap of his finger, IMPERIUM is unfrozen and fires the ice blast and looks around for a moment.

IMPERIUM

Where are they?!

DARK FIGURE

One of them froze you. Not literally but figuratively.

He shows IMPERIUM a photo taken of EDITH, NOEMI, VIOLET, & JUSTIN. Recognizing JUSTIN immediately he scrutinizes the photo.

IMPERIUS

The Time Trickster! He is here too?!

DARK FIGURE

Yes, and I have a proposal to make you. Being from another world.

IMPERIUS despite being featureless his right eyebrow raises with intrigue.

IMPERIUM

I’m listening.

FADE TO BLACK

END OF EPISODE 1

[darkbluec0nstellations]

1-150

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?My ex.2. Are you outgoing or shy?Yes.3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?My friends.4. Are you easy to get along with?I’d like to think so.5. If you were drunk, would the person you like take care of you?Possibly? Somehow?6. What kind of people are you attracted to?Musician weebs, apparently.7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?Who knows?8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?Someone.9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?Depends.10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?Good question.11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?‘Also, I just bought comfy pants.’12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?Sometimes.14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?Yes.15. What good thing happened this summer?I saw a decent amount of my favorite bands.16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?No.17. Do you think there is life on other planets?Sure.18. Do you still talk to your first crush?Bold of you to assume I remember who that is.19. Do you like bubble baths?Sometimes.20. Do you like your neighbors?They’re not bad.21. What are you bad habits?Drinking coffee instead of eating food.22. Where would you like to travel?Chicago. California. Texas. England.23. Do you have trust issues?Oh yeah.24. Favorite part of your daily routine?Going to sleep.25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?My entire body lmao.26. What do you do when you wake up?Usually go back to sleep because I usually don’t sleep through the night and wake up at like 3 am.27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?Nah.28. Who are you most comfortable around?Good question.29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?No.30. Do you ever want to get married?Maybe?31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?Yeah.32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?None.33. Spell your name with your chin.jhukaqxsdmnkjoinmbnjkesd.34. Do you play sports? What sports?I used to. Track. Swimming. Soccer. Bowling. Baseball.35. Would you rather live without TV or music?Good question. Next question.36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?A few times.37. What do you say during awkward silences?Nothing.38. Describe your dream girl/guy?I don’t know.39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?Macy’s.40. What do you want to do after high school?I still have no idea.41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?My heart says yes. My brain says no.42. If you’re being extremely quiet, what does it mean?Nothing. I’m actually a pretty quiet person.43. Do you smile at strangers?Sometimes.44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?Outer space. God knows what is at the bottom of the ocean. Or even where that is.45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?The need to pee.46. What are you paranoid about?Stuff and things.47. Have you ever been high?Yes.48. Have you ever been drunk?Yes.49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?Nope.50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?Uhhh. I have no idea.51. Ever wished you were someone else?Sometimes.52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?Literally everything.53. Favourite makeup brand?I really love NYX.54. Favourite store?Newbury Comics.55. Favourite blog?@one-time-i-dreamt​56. Favourite colour?Pale peach.57. Favourite food? Cheesesteak.58. Last thing you ate?Pancakes.59. First thing you ate this morning?Babybel cheese.60. Ever won a competition? For what?Not really.61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?Nope.62. Been arrested? For what?Nope.63. Ever been in love? Yeah.64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?It was stolen by an asshole when I was 16.65. Are you hungry right now?Oh yeah.66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?Now that I have a better group of in real life friends, nope.67. Facebook or Twitter?Twitter.68. Twitter or Tumblr?Twitter.69. Are you watching TV right now?Yeah.70. Names of your best friends? Cass. Bryan. Matt. Caleb. Johnny. K.71. Craving something? What?Chicken chipotle griller from Taco Bell.72. What colour are your towels?Good question.72. How many pillows do you sleep with?2 or 3.73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?Yes.74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?Maybe 11?75. Favourite animal?Corgi.76. What colour is your underwear?Black.77. Chocolate or Vanilla?Vanilla.78. Favourite ice cream flavour?Cookies and cream.79. What colour shirt are you wearing?Grey.80. What colour pants?Purple.81. Favourite TV show?I don’t know. I don’t watch TV that much.82. Favourite movie?Deadpool. Space Jam. Searching.83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?Mean Girls.84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?21 Jump Street.85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?Karen.86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?Dory.87. First person you talked to today?I think my mom?88. Last person you talked to today?As of this moment, one of my groupchats.89. Name a person you hate?Trump.90. Name a person you love?My grandpa.91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?A few, haha.92. In a fight with someone?Nah.93. How many sweatpants do you have?At least 2 pairs.94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?At least 2.95. Last movie you watched?The Sandlot.96. Favourite actress?Anna Kendrick.97. Favourite actor?Idris Elba.98. Do you tan a lot?I don’t even tan.99. Have any pets?Nope.100. How are you feeling?Alright, I guess.101. Do you type fast?Yeah, I guess so.102. Do you regret anything from your past?Yeah.103. Can you spell well?To an extent.104. Do you miss anyone from your past?I think I’ll always miss some people, but not enough to do anything about it.105. Ever been to a bonfire party?Yes.106. Ever broken someone’s heart?I don’t know. Have I?107. Have you ever been on a horse?Yes.108. What should you be doing?Nothing.109. Is something irritating you right now?Nah.110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?I think so.111. Do you have trust issues?Wasn’t this already asked? Yes, yes I do.112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?No one lmao.113. What was your childhood nickname?Jazzy Jazz.114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?Yes.115. Do you play the Wii?Nope.116. Are you listening to music right now?Nope.117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?Yessss!118. Do you like Chinese food?Some of it.119. Favourite book?The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupery.120. Are you afraid of the dark?Nope.121. Are you mean?When I have a reason to be.122. Is cheating ever okay?Nope.123. Can you keep white shoes clean?Nope. There’s a reason I don’t have white shoes.124. Do you believe in love at first sight?Nope.125. Do you believe in true love?Maybe?126. Are you currently bored?Yeah, kind of.127. What makes you happy?Sleep. Corgis. Friends. Music.128. Would you change your name?Nah.129. What your zodiac sign?Pisces.130. Do you like subway?Nope.131. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?I have no idea.132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?Good question.133. Favourite lyrics right now?��Rebuild until my back breaks.’134. Can you count to one million?Probably not.135. Dumbest lie you ever told?I don’t know, I’ve probably told a lot of dumb lies I can’t remember.136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?Closed.137. How tall are you?5′ 4″138. Curly or Straight hair?On me? Wavy.139. Brunette or Blonde?On me? Brunette.140. Summer or Winter?Spring.141. Night or Day?Day.142. Favourite month?May,143. Are you a vegetarian?Nope.144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?Milk.145. Tea or Coffee?Coffee.146. Was today a good day?Eh.147. Mars or Snickers?Snickers.148. What’s your favourite quote?‘Strength will find you sooner than you ever thought it would.’149. Do you believe in ghosts?Kind of.150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? I don’t even know where the nearest book is.

[railsroadsandreflections-blog]

Terminus

Welcome to Janta express, an extraordinarily ordinary 24 hour train ride, wide wheelingly rolling through open, vast fields and fascinating but forgotten villages. Mind your step and hop into SL, sleeper class, where you will be sharing a temporary home - a space with two opposite sides of three vertically placed benches - with complete strangers. Quite possibly, you´ll be sitting across an older woman dressed in a sari and dangling bracelets, hair dyed in henna and skin so bleached that Michael Jackson himself would´ve gawked, her husband in sober clothing seated calmy beside her. Always greeted by smiles – Indians on trains will stare and wonder but never fail to treat you as one of their own. Sit down, take off your shoes, and enjoy the ride.  

Nowhere can a Nordic girl feel safer than in this modest, light blue colored carriage, soothing but sometimes chaotic as the nosy, noisy Indian families settle in for a day on the tracks. A man in round glasses hands me two cookies: food is offered generously, and if not, every five minutes someone will pass by with a variety of treats and gadgets to sell. Whether it´s a masala or a hammer, the salesman will fish it out of his bucket and ask you 10 rupees for it. Any trash from the purchases may conveniently be tossed out of the windows, which remain open at all times. All day long, I sweat and pant like a dog in a sauna, but at night, the cold breeze brades my hair into an ice crown. A journey is never so beautiful as it is in afterthought… Have an acquired taste? Say no more, and tune into general class, unreserved and inexpensive. Bold and bravehearted you must be: this is no chocolate coated croissant. Stolen passports have been reported and rumor has it that the roof makes an excellent camping spot, but only a oneway ticket can solve the mystery.  

Close to me, a whole family has squeezed into one seat. The kids are acting rowdy and their caretaker is not impressed: she smacks the girls on the cheek rather violently. The train rolls off slowly, and as it does so, voices are swiftly raised, feet are on the go and a whole herd of Indians jump off the accelerating train. No need to hug goodbye on the platform: Indian trains are like an extended home, open for everyone. One of the mischievous girls suddenly finds herself on the other side of the metal window, teary eyed, gripping the hand of perhaps her cousin. They will very soon be separated by thousands of kilometers. As I watch I tune into her emotion: trains and goodbyes, lovers and letters – classic, nostalgic and purely sentimental.  

The day is spent gazing out of the windows at the snapshots, ephemeres of ordinary lives: Fieldworkers with wooden baskets, burning and basking in the afternoon heat, teenagers gathering, soon to be joined by their friends on bikes, hurrying to the cricket field from the mazy paths that separate the playground from their village. On lonely train stations, old men read newspapers and beggars of all ages push their faces against the prison-like windows of the carriage. The tracks whistle and hum while thousands of passengers roll forward into the neverending land. All senses aboard!

Sleeper is no luxury, but your olfactory system is about to have a first class treatment: a potpourri of stenches occupy the air in and around the train, urine being the most pleasant of them. At night one can expect to be woken, as if on a sweet Saturday morning, greeted by the pleasant smells of Mother´s cinnamon rolls. If Mother´s cinnamon rolls were made out of sewage and excrement, that is. Occasionally the reeks are disastrously dreadful and I conclude- hell musn´t be far. Not exactly helping the matter is the general and nationwide illusion that the tracks function as a trash bin, resulting in cows and stray dogs roaming about in the waste, feasting on plastic dinners. Speaking of dinner, the culinary festivities commence at 5 PM, even though Indians eat much later into the night. ”Chaaaaaaaaaaai!”, yells a guy, and the rest comes out in indecipherable hindi. The sellers hurry down the aisle in such rapidity that for once, I wish they would be a bit more insistant. Make a silly sound, grab them by the arm- anything! - And the spicy, steaming samosas and luscious lassis will be yours to devour. Simply by having a ball, you´ll be part of it all.

”I love Finland girls. You are so sexy”. It was my first train ride alone in India, and my good faith was about to come to a rapid end. Sure, looking back, I had been warned: Indian men have a tendency to behave inappropriately with solo women, but how could such a cliché turn out to be true? The subtler seducers settle for a wink, a thumbs up or the classic pursing of the lips, inviting one to a perfectly innocent public embrace in a society where holding hands with the opposite gender is considered improper (however both men and women hold hands with their same gendered comrades). I ignore the gentleman in the tuktuk, licking his lips and staring at me, immensely flatterered by the irresistibly charming man´s attention: tender seduction is a form of art in India. From now on - if anyone bothers to ask - I´m married. Once I was reading at a train station, when two female guards marched up to me, clearly a bit amused. They wanted to know -without further ado- if I had a son.

Hold your horses, there is more: while you are sipping your imaginery mojito, observing and obsessing over the excessive heat, your trainride may suddenly turn a teensy bit wild. For example, if you fancy a dinnermate, a monkey or a cow, sometimes even a knee-bending, giggling goat, will be happy to share your veg biryani. Ah yes, the animal kingdom has truly won my heart. A camel trotting down a busy street, a dog and a buffalo lying side by side in the middle of the road (because duuh, where else?), puppies, practically newborn, sniffing the odours of a new dawn, and a giant elephant parading down the street, dressed to impress. Indeed, nod your head a few more times, you are in for a terrifically dandy ride…and all of this for the price of a metro ticket in Oslo. Sadly though, the animals are exploited and maltreated, with the exception of the cow, which is holier than Mother Theresa. To say that vegeterianism is widespread in India would be an understatement, but though you won´t find any unethically considered egg or meat in a true hindu restaurant, milk always comes in bucketloads.

Ladies and gentlemen, our next stop is New Delhi station. Make sure you have all your belongings with you, and enjoy your day. I step off the metro train from the airport and gasp: all around me echos chaos. Yes, India can sometimes be a real pain In-di-a-ss, but also completely and utterly magical, unimaginable. Wisdom and willpower, thrill and taste, patience and persistense…these are some of my newly collected souvenirs. What can I say? Thanks. It wasn´t easy, but semi-permanent diarrhea and tinnitus aside, I have truly adventured. No country has left me standing in the middle of cow poo, alone, bag on back, tuktuks swarming around me like hungry sharks, clueless as to where to venture off, and for that I am strangely thankful. My first and last day differ not much, only my backpack and belly have gotten heavier (turns out, yoga does not cover for oily curries). No longer is India the scary, spicy threatening Asian subcontinent, but perhaps rather a frenemy: not quite a stranger, not quite a friend. The majority of the puzzle remains unsolved, but holi colors of the rainbow cover my body and musty incense forces its way up my nostrils: I have caught a sniff of magic.    

Tt.

Terminus

Bienvenue dans le Janta Express pour vingt-quatre heures de trajet extraordinairement ordinaire à grand train au milieu de vastes champs qui s’ouvrent à perte de vue, à travers des villages fascinants mais oubliés. Faites attention à la marche et sautez donc en SL, sleeper class, où vous partagerez votre logement temporaire – un espace avec trois rangées de bancs verticales qui se font face – avec de parfaits inconnus. Il est plutôt probable que vous vous retrouviez assise en face d’une dame âgée, drapée d’un sari, bracelets ballants sur les bras, les cheveux teints au henné et la peau si décolorée que Michael Jackson lui-même en aurait pâli ; son mari est calmement assis à ses côtés dans des vêtements sobres. Vous serez toujours salué par des sourires – les indiens dans les trains vont vous dévisager, vous décortiquer, mais ne manqueront jamais de vous accueillir comme l’un des leurs. Alors asseyez-vous, enlevez vos chaussures et profitez du voyage. Nulle part ailleurs une fille du nord ne pourrait se sentir plus en sécurité que dans ce wagon bleu clair, apaisant bien que plongé parfois dans le chaos de familles indiennes bruyantes et fouineuses qui se sont installées pour plus d'une journée sur les rails. Un homme aux lunettes rondes me tend deux cookies : la nourriture est offerte avec générosité, et dans le cas où cela n’arriverait pas, un vendeur ambulant passera certainement dans votre wagon toutes les cinq minutes pour vous proposer une offre variée de biens et de gadgets. Que ce soit un masala ou un marteau, le vendeur vous le pêchera d’un de ses grands baquets avant de vous demander quelques roupies pour ça. Si d’aventure vos achats vous laissaient avec quelques détritus sur les bras, pas d’inquiétude : vous pouvez simplement les jeter par la fenêtre qui reste constamment ouverte de toute façon. Toute la journée, je halète et je sue comme un chien dans un sauna mais dès que la nuit tombe, le vent froid tresse mes cheveux en une couronne de glace. Un voyage n’est jamais aussi beau que lorsqu’on se souviendra plus tard… C’est bon, vous avez une idée assez précise ? Attendez un peu, et réglez vous sur general class : pas de réservation mais pas cher non plus. Pour sûr il vous faudra un cœur hardi, car ce ne sera pas une partie de plaisir. On a rapporté que des passeports y ont été volés, et des rumeurs disent que le toit ferait un excellent lieu de camping… Seul un ticket pour un aller simple pourrait résoudre ce mystère. Près de moi, toute une famille se presse dans un seul siège. Les enfants chahutent bruyamment mais leur nourrice ne se laisse pas impressionner : elle gifle la joue des fillettes plutôt violemment. À mesure que le train ralentit, les voix s’élèvent, les pieds commencent à s’activer et, bientôt, tout un troupeau d’indiens bondit du train encore en marche. Pas besoin d’embrassades d’adieu, les trains indiens sont comme une grande maison, ouverte à tous. L’une des petites filles espiègles se retrouve soudainement de l’autre côté de la fenêtre en métal, l’œil humide, accroché à la main d’un peut-être cousin. Bientôt, elle et ses camarades seront séparées par des milliers de kilomètres. Pendant que je l’observe, je me branche sur ses émotions : adieux et trains, amants et lettres – classique, nostalgique, purement sentimental. La journée passe, le regard fixé sur la fenêtre qui voit défiler inlassablement d’éphémères tableaux de vies ordinaires : des travailleurs dans les champs, de grandes corbeilles en bois à leurs côtés, qui brûlent et se prélassent dans le chaleur de l’après-midi, des adolescents qui se rassemblent, bientôt rejoints par leurs amis en vélo, et qui se hâtent à travers le labyrinthe de maisons qui sépare leur village du terrain de cricket. Dans les gares solitaires, des vieillards lisent leurs journaux, des mendiants de tout âge pressent leurs visages contre les barreaux des fenêtres de votre cellule-wagon. Les rails sifflent et vrombissent et des milliers de passagers fusent à travers les terres infinies. Tous les sens en avant ! La sleeper class n’est peut-être pas luxueuse, mais votre système olfactif va recevoir un traitement de première classe : l’air autour et dans le train est rempli d’un pot-pourri de puanteurs dont l’urine est certainement la plus plaisante. Alors que la nuit s’avance, attendez vous, occasionnellement, à vous faire réveiller de la même façon que pouvaient le faire ces odeurs délicieuses qui s’échappaient du four où votre mère faisait, dans la tranquillité sereine d’un samedi matin, gonfler de savoureuses brioches à la cannelle. Sauf que dans ce cas, les principaux ingrédients de ces brioches viendraient de la fosse septique. Parfois, l’odeur est tellement épouvantable que j’en déduis que l’enfer lui-même doit être proche. L’idée générale et répandue dans l’ensemble du pays que les chemins de fer sont une poubelle n’aide pas exactement. Vaches et chiens errent en permanence dans les déchets, à se repaître de dîners en plastique. En parlant de dîner, les festivités culinaires commencent à 5h de l’après-midi, bien que les indiens mangent beaucoup plus tard que ça. « Chaaaaaaaaaaaai » hurle un type et le reste explose à mon oreille en un hindi indéchiffrable. Les vendeurs forcent l’allure le long de l’allée, à tel point que, pour une fois, j’aimerais bien qu’ils soient un poil plus insistant. Produis n’importe quel son, attrape-les par la main – tout ce que tu veux ! – et tu pourras librement dévorer les appétissants samosas, aussi fumants qu’épicés, ou les  lassis succulents. Un bon moment vous attend si vous décidez d’entrer dans la danse. « J’adore les filles Finlande. Vous êtes tellement sexy ». Mon premier voyage en train seule m’a vite fait déchanter. Bien sûr, lorsque je regarde en arrière, j’avais été prévenue : les hommes indiens ont tendance à se comporter de manière inappropriée avec les femmes seules, mais comment un tel cliché pouvait-il se révéler aussi vrai ? Les séducteurs les plus subtiles se contentent  d’un clin, un pouce levé ou d’un classique mouvement des lèvres, du genre qui vous invite à une étreinte parfaitement innocente dans une société où le simple fait de tenir en public la main d’une personne de l’autre sexe est considéré comme indigne (alors qu’il est au contraire très courant de voir, aussi bien un homme qu’une femme tenir la main d’un de ses camarades du même sexe). J’ignore le gentleman dans le tuktuk qui se lèche les lèvre en me dévisageant, immensément flattée par l’attention que me porte l’irrésistible charmeur ; pour sûr, la séduction en Inde est une forme d’art. À partir de maintenant, si quelqu’un demande : je suis mariée. Une fois que je lisais dans une gare, deux policières marchent vers moi, l’air clairement goguenard. Elles m’ont demandé – sans préambule particulier – si j’avais un fils. Mais attendez, ça n’est pas fini : alors que vous sirotez votre mojito imaginaire, alors que vous observez tout en maudissant la chaleur excessive, votre trajet en train peut tout d’un coup prendre un tour un tantinet plus sauvage.  Si vous rêviez de compagnie pour votre dîner, rassurez-vous : un singe, une vache, parfois même une chèvre cocassement posée sur ses genoux, se feront un plaisir de partager votre veg biryani. Eh oui, le règne animal a vraiment gagné mon cœur. Un chameau qui descend une rue passante, un chien et un buffle qui sont allongés côte à côte au milieu de route (ben parce que, voyons, où d’autre?), de jeunes chiots, pratiquement nouveaux-nés, qui reniflent les odeurs d’une aube nouvelle, ou encore un éléphant, harnaché pour intimider, qui parade le long d’une rue. Oui, vous pouvez hocher la tête encore quelques fois, vous êtes effectivement partis pour un tour effroyablement excitant… et tout ça pour le prix d’un ticket de métro à Oslo. En revanche, les animaux sont assez tristement exploités et maltraités en général, à l’exception de la vache, évidemment, qui est plus sainte encore que Mère Theresa. Dire que le végétarisme est répandu en Inde serait un euphémisme, et pourtant, bien que vous ne trouverez jamais d’aliments considérés aussi immoraux que des œufs ou de la viande dans un réel restaurant hindou, le lait y est consommé par baquets entiers. Mesdames et messieurs, notre train s’arrêtera prochainement à New Delhi Station. Assurez-vous de n’avoir rien oublié à bord et profitez de votre journée. Je descend du métro qui m’amène de l’aéroport et ma respiration se bloque dans ma poitrine : tout autour de moi se répercutent des échos de chaos. Alors oui, parfois vous aurez l’impression que ce pays vous la met bien prof-inde, mais la magie qui s’en dégage est tout à fait inimaginable à l’étranger. Sagesse et volonté, goût et frisson, patience et persistance… ce sont certains de mes nouveaux souvenirs. Que dire ? Merci. Ça n’était pas facile tous les jours, mais, si l’on excepte les coliques semi-permanentes et les acouphènes, je peux dire que j’ai vraiment vécu l’aventure. Aucun autre pays ne m’avait laissée debout dans les bouses de vaches, seule, le sac sur le dos, sans la moindre idée de la direction dans laquelle je devrais me mettre en route, avec des essaims de tuktuks qui me tournent autour comme des requins affamés, et pour tout ça, je me sens étrangement reconnaissante. Mon premier et mon dernier jour ne sont en fait pas si différents, si ce n’est que mon sac et mon estomac se sont plutôt alourdis (il s’est avéré que le yoga ne compense pas les currys pleins d’huile). L’Inde n’est plus ce sous-continent asiatique effrayant, aux épices menaçantes mais peut-être plutôt un étrami : plus tout à fait un étranger, pas encore tout à fait un ami. La majorité du puzzle reste évidemment irrésolu, mais les holies couleurs de l’arc-en-ciel couvrent mon corps et d’épais relents d’encens se frayent un chemin jusqu’à mes narines : j’ai pu saisir un parfum de magie.

Tt.