#( V; THE BLESSING OF SANKT ALINA ┊ GRISHA AU. )

[esotericdescent]

@barrelcrow | starter from Inej - sun summoner grisha au

   It was nearing a month since Inej had opted to leave the followers of Sankta Alina. After the battle in the fold, as a part of the Sun Saint's use of the third amplifier, her power had seemingly bled out of her entirely and spread to bless those who were still alive and fighting along side her. Inej had been one of the few and, to say it had been an overwhelming experience to feel the same power that had inhabited a Saint would've been an understatement.

   Learning how to control and utilize her powers properly at the Little Palace had been the path Sankta Alina had walked herself, so Inej firmly believed that was what she ought to do as well—despite the protests of the group. She'd tried to convince them, but the words of The Apparat were far too ingrained into their minds and their beliefs. She couldn't force them see sense; she did notice not all of them dismissed her intentions so readily and she hoped that eventually they would follow in Inej's footsteps. Sankta Alina was not there to teach them and those who too had gained her power had no knowledge of how to control it either.

   The thing Inej hadn't expected was to have one who had been rumored for quite some time to have been close by the Darkling's side as one of her mentors. Several people refused to be trained by him, insisting that his intentions were along the same lines as the Darkling himself, or that he was secretly a part of those who called the Darkling the Starless Saint, who were rumored to think he deserved to be among the rest of them. While she'd initially been wary of him,—her reasoning likely clear enough with the large, scrawling sun tattoo that'd nearly encompassed her entire right arm—she did not refuse. Perhaps it was wishful thinking, but ... Inej thought she could see in his eyes how much it hurt him to be spoken about in such a way.

   Originally, she'd been surprised that he was a combat instructor, given the cane and the limp—but Inej learned quickly that these things did not hinder his skill and proficiency. It was admirable and impressive and it was clear she had a great deal to learn from him. Inej made fast friends with Nina Zenik and learned that she and Kaz were close, like a brother and sister would be. Antagonistic, no doubt, but she could see the fierce care they held for one another underneath. She had asked Nina about him, and she'd told her some things, but ... she'd encouraged her to speak to him instead. Inej did not appreciate the look she'd given her along with the suggestion and she'd given Nina a playful jab with her elbow.

   She'd decided to seek him out on a day when she didn't have combat training with him—and she was pleasantly surprised to have found him in the library. It was quiet and peaceful and, maybe before she'd been encouraged to actually talk to Kaz, she'd done some of her own reading; however, much to her disappointment, Inej found very little. She spotted him easily enough, seated in a thick chair with a book in his lap, his expression intense and focused as it always seemed to be. She approached him silently, her movement purely instinct. She didn't have to think about being silent, she just was.

   ❝Kaz,❞ Inej began—and, with a tiny spark of delight, she realized she'd startled him. She tried very hard not to smile and averted her gaze downward, hands clasped behind her back. ❝I was hoping we could talk.❞

[esotericdescent]

   ❝I'm afraid not,❞ Inej conceded, the barest hint of amusement still tugging lightly at her lips. She stood at the side of one of the chairs to his left and, as he placed his book on the small table tucked far back, but no less in-between them, she took that as an invitation to sit. Inej sank into the chair smoothly and tucked her legs underneath herself, folding her hands in her lap. She wanted to broach the subject with him, yes, but she was partially concerned that he might misunderstand her meaning.

   She glanced over at him, her dark eyes lacking the malice that so many others reflected back at him. Inej conveyed nothing but a softened curiosity. ❝I ... wanted to ask you about your experience with the Darkling,❞ she decided on and it was clear she was picking her words with care.

   ❝I see the way some people treat you—and I think it bothers you.❞ How could it not? Inej wouldn't blame him for outright saying so; how could it not be painful to have people doubt you, to think the worst of you no matter how long and hard one tried to prove them wrong? Then again ... she hadn't initially considered that maybe he thought he deserved it. The idea of it pained her, although perhaps she'd feel differently if he agreed to share his experience with her. Regardless, that remained to be seen.

   ❝I'm a Sun Summoner—I fought with Alina Starkov at the end ... I believe in her, as my Patron Saint, but ... I want to understand the entirety of what that means. I want to understand what drew you to the Darkling, why you served him as long as you did ... and what changed your mind—if you'll tell me? ❞ Inej paused briefly before glancing down between them and she offered a slight one-shouldered shrug, her brows lifting minutely.

   ❝And perhaps I want to understand you.❞

Returning back to the Little Palace after everything he had done had not been an easy decision. In fact, his first instinct had been to run back to Ketterdam. To leave all of this behind and never look back. There was, after all, still the Pekka Rollins business he needed to take care of. Although he had to admit that his thirst for revenge seemed to have faded over time, his anger no longer burning as hot as it once had. Jordie's voice, too, had quieted as time went on, and had grown gentler in its tone. Perhaps his own little agenda just seemed so small and petty now that he'd been part of a much, much bigger picture.

Still, as soon as the Fold had been destroyed, his bags were packed and the ticket back to Ketterdam had been bought. Of course, Kaz was aware that that was the easy way out, the coward's way out. He didn't need Nina to point it out to him. And yet, she had. Countless times.

The Little Palace needs rebuilding. The new generation of Grisha needs training. The war isn't over yet. You can't just leave, Brekker.

But how could she understand? He might've come to his senses in the end, but he had still fought on the wrong side. He was part of the reason why the Little Palace needed rebuilding in the first place. Part of the reason why so many Grisha knew the pain of loss and grief. Some of the people he'd be working alongside to rebuild and teach had been the very people he'd fought against and tried to kill.

But Nina Zenik was nothing if not convincing. So Kaz Brekker found himself back at the Little Palace, spending his days rebuilding what he'd helped destroy, and teaching the ones that were willing to be taught by him.

The rumours and gossip surrounding him didn't go unnoticed, of course. But he did nothing to stop them. He deserved the hatred and mistrust, and they were his weight to carry until he could prove that that wasn't who he was. Not anymore.

When he wasn't teaching, Kaz spent his time in the library in an attempt to gain as much knowledge as he possibly could. So much of it had been lost through death — Baghra being the most devastating one — and destruction, that he knew it was something that needed to be fixed before it was lost entirely. Sometimes Nina would join him, and they would tackle the more difficult stuff together, but today was one of her busier days and he was left to his own devices.

And he thought he was alone in the library, at least until a familiar voice called out his name. Not having heard her approach, Kaz couldn't help but flinch a little, before he whipped his head around to see Inej suddenly standing next to him. There was no doubt that she was aware she'd managed to startle him, too. But... she had every right to be proud, if he was honest. Sneaking up on him was not something many had managed before her.

Not that he was too surprised. In the short amount of time since she had joined them at the Little Palace, Inej had proven herself to be one of the most gifted combat students Kaz had come across, and there'd even been a time or two she'd managed to outsmart him. Needless to say, he'd certainly taken notice of her.

"Talk?" There was a brief moment in which genuine surprise was written all across his face, but it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. Clearing his throat, Kaz closed the book in his lap and carefully laid it down on the nearby table with a shrug. "I suppose we can talk, if you want to. And I'm assuming you don't just want a few more tips on how to improve, or else you wouldn't be seeking me out outside of lessons."