#( I have a lot of angels and demons. sue me haha! )
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* MUSE LIST. ------ Angel Aalbiel / Abigail Walker / Aeshma Daeva / Archangel Akrasiel / Alec Lightwood / Anastasia Grey / Anastasiya Schmidt / Anastasiya Zakharov / Anatola / Angel Aoife / Angel Arik / Divine Goddess Asherah / Asmodeus Morningstar / Angel Aziel / Angel Bina / Briar Morningstar / Caassimolar / Castaelar Aleanundlin / Charlotte Holmes / Chloe Decker / Cillian Brockhurst / Clary Fray / Dr Conrad Hawkins / Cooper Hemming / Daisy Johnson / Dantanian Daeva / Dorothea Morningstar / Dr Eliza Campbell / Ella Lopez / Elua D’Angeline / Esther Morningstar / Angel Evangeline Stewart / Faolan Lowell / Archangel Gabriel / Genevieve Hart / Dr Guinevere Voigt / Angel Hali / Prince Hamon of Zion / Harv Wilson / Hermione Granger / Iris Russell / Isabelle Lightwood / James Bond / Dr Johanna Carter / Archangel Jophiel / Julian Barnett / Kate Bishop / Kol Mikaelson / Leon Andrews / Lien Xao / Life / Dr Lily Morningstar / Lily Evans-Potter / Dr Linda Martin / Prince Liron Strix / Louie Morningstar / Love Pena / Luna Lovegood / Lyall Mortis / Angel Malachi / Lady Mary Crawley / Mother Mary ~ Jesus’s momma / Mary Queen of Scotts / Massimo Torricelli / Matilda Demiurgos / Matt Casey / Matthew de Clermont / Mazikeen Smith / Archangel Michael Demiurgos / Mycroft Holmes / Nancy Perez / Nancy Wheeler / Demon Ornias / King Paimon / Q / Quinlan / Archangel Ramiel / Rebecca Barnes / Rhonwen Harrow / Romy Willow / Rosier D’Angelus / Ruby Moran / Rudi Miller / Sherlock Holmes / Demon Sitri / Storm Demiurgos / Angel Temeluchus / Tito Giordano / Tommy Shelby / Uinseann McConnell / Waverly Earp / Wynonna Earp / Yahweh ( God ) / Yelena Belova / Zarya Demiurgos.
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Temporary list of my stories and OC’s until one day I make a comprehensive and well made list:
Blinded:
Polli: My oldest OC and fun fact was my persona till she become edgy and I wasn’t 12 anymore. Everyone’s favorite yes yes I’m aware. Yellow, energetic, eats dirt and bugs, I can’t tell if she’s evil because of a wisp possession or just crazy. Breaks the 4th wall. Is she a Mary Sue???????? Who knows.
Melody: NOT Polli’s girlfriend despite Polli’s delousions. Has an abusive mom :(. Only has one eye and then no eyes and then robot eyes or smthn idk she becomes a badass when she gets older. But otherwise trembling in her shoes all the time.
Melodys Mom/Sharren: Bitch. Okay well all I’ll say is she’s old and grumpy and probably smells bad.
Louise: Total hotty, rich kid, FtM, got bullied as a kid for his weight. Had a squad of fans basically in high school. Lived with his mom after his parents got a divorce but his mom was semi abusive, projected her femininity onto him, and wouldn’t have been supportive of his transition, so between middle and high school he went to live with his dad and got his sex change and testosterone. His best friend in elementary and middle school stopped talking to him after his transition, and became his competition for the most attractive and sought after boy in school (except Louise is a sweetheart while his friend Tommy is a dick and really gross) His dad runs a company that specializes in technology, and after meeting and falling in love with Melody (even after all her abusive trauma and losing both her eyes) he has his dad and some of the developers create a way to get her vision back and I mean honestly I love him how could you not love him he’s so perfect.
Watching:
Fick: Big nerd boy with thick glasses. I feel like he’d use Reddit but don’t quote me on that. Big crush on Vivinya. Boy don’t wander into the woods- oh look dead body with a curse on it don’t touch it- aaaand now he has a wisp that makes him kill people, way to go kid. Panic attack central.
Vivinya: True crime girl, yucky yucky. Probably had a knife collection. “uwu I’m insane” except she actually is and starts using Fick to kill people for her and treats him like her “Yandere boyfriend” or something cringe and gross oh god. She deserves jail. JAIL. Needs to learn guys need to give consent too. Just overall sucks 1/10.
Tommy: I mentioned him early to be Louises ex best friend and rival. He used to have a crush on Louise actually but that don’t excuse being a BITCH!!!! Also needs to learn people gotta give consent he is just as gross as Vivinya. Cheats on all the girls he gets with because he’s again, a bitch. Idk if he deserved to get murdered though I mean he was still a teenager but it’s fine. Thinks of the song Seventeen from Heathers actually this story does feel a tad reminiscent of heathers with vivinya being a crazy and wanting to off a bunch of students. Huh.
Suzannie: Tommy’s older sister who’s a detective. What a coincidence. Monotone and depressed. Probably because her little brother got murdered. Gets real awkward when she’s talking about her brothers murder(s) to Fick and Vivinya like “when I find who did this to him they’ll regret being born”. Kind of really pretty actually.
Adolescents (there isn’t actually a story here yet but don’t worry about it shhhh):
Nelson: HIMBO HIMBO H- Jock stupid idiot big dork god he’s so awkward and his main personality trait is having a crush on Naomi and being a dork when talking to her. Probably could benchpress you.
Naomi: Gamer or something and a nerd geek. Her main personality trait is having a crush on Nelson and also being a dork when talking to him. Probably a weeb and fandom dweller. Can’t draw but she commissions artists to draw. She does write copious amounts of fanfiction though.
Andrés: Ohhh the school bad boy babyyyy. Baseball bat with nails in it or something. There’s like... A thing between him in Charlotte and he wants to be a thing but she’s being difficult and makes it hard to talk to her or about her and ugh.
Charlotte: Princess, high school princess. She’s actually pretty nice when you get to know her- but she’s a diva. Ballerina after school. Best friends with Naomi and doesn’t know what she’s talking about when she mentions ships or OTPs but she listens anyways because she’s a good friend. There’s like... A thing between her and Andrés but she doesn’t know if she’s super into him but geez he’s really hot but she gets such mixed responses when she asks her friends about it and what if it doesn’t work outttt.
Marlon: They/Them but they’re okay with either pronouns they aren’t sure yet, he or she is okay... Box boy box boy. Autism... He doesn’t want to admit He’s attracted to men but he’s totally attracted to men. He lives alone which is probably illegal for his age but somehow he manages. Everyone thinks he’s “the quiet kid” and he’s really sad about it no don’t make jokes like that please guys ahh-
Sing for Me:
Kat: The color pink, addahadda(adhd), angry and loud and short. For being only like 10 and being an adorable little lesbian dressing in sparkly pink dresses she actually likes screaming a lot and would totally sing heavy metal if her producers let her. Loud and mad but gets so soft around her girlfriend. “If anything happens to Brie I’m killing everyone in this room and then myself”.
Brie: French... Birds and stuff. Loves her girlfriend even though she is so loud. So fast. So much. Likes to write pretty things. Is only like an inch taller than Kat. Filled with so much love for everything.
Elliot: The girls manager. Lots of coffee. Stressed out of his MIND please help this man. Probably gay. Seems like a smug dick but he is just a tall and lanky dork that loves puppies and wants nothing more than for Kat and Brie to be happy. Accidentally brands them as sisters and then Kat kisses Brie and- oh fuck oh shit oh no what has he done. Hides the fan and non fan responses from them. Poor guy.
Horror Hosts:
Ichabod: Hot demon who’s the son of the current ruler of hell or something. I mean he’s hot, smart, and royalty, what more do you want. I very specifically hear the dub voice of Kyoya Ootori from OHHC as his voice don’t @ me. Goat legs????? Yeah??? Don’t be rude.
Barnabie: Ohhhhhhhhh big orc teddy bear I’m crying I love him????? He puts up a more confident ploy and the given stereotypical personality orcs supposedly have but he’s just a shy boy that wants to give girls flowers and call boys pretty. Help him.
Garrison: Gary Burger. Fat hairy gay man. I mean werewolf. Wouldn’t it be funny if I made the whole werewolf thing backwards and made him transform into a HUMAN only on the full moon??? Party animal, pun absolutely intended. LOUD AND FUNNY he’s a dork. Bites. Horny on main Garrison please you’re supposed pamper and flirt with the guests but not quite that much.
Vincenzo: Token Vampire but he’s Italian because I felt like it. Talk and lanky of course. Bitch face. Blood coffee? Yeah lots of coffee. Tired. Let him sleep in Ichabod. Steps on people. Can summon and reanimate corpses but has a bitter attitude towards them because they get annoyed with him as much as he gets annoyed with- everyone else. He does have a soft spot but idk where it is. When he’s talking to guests he’s more suave and sexy though.
Kai: Genderfluid haha get it because slime fluid-... I’ll stop. Probably objectively the hottest because they can look anyway they want and shift their vocals to sound like almost anything, also probably objectively the best in bed (if you’re okay with the texture of Jell-o) and honestly come on save some for the rest of us it’s not fair. This boy can SING oh my god seranade me and whisper in my ear baby. Spunky and sassy.
Hallvor: BABY OCTOPOD BOY OHHHHH I LOVE HIM HE’S SO SWEET AND IS AN ANGEL DARLING BOY SO EMBARRASSED SO SHY SOFTEST VOICE OHHH- ohhh nooo he’s got a knife ohhhhh Hallvor baby don’t be like that ohhhh... Used to work in hentai actually (I wonder why) but quit because of immoral practices and good for him we love that. Okay he’s not actually a yandere or whatever but he DEFINITELY wants to squeeze you a little too hard and has those crazy eyes.
Carla: Main character of this OHHC monster clone. She sucks I don’t like her because listen listen she kills monsters as a living and when she tries to kill our boys here, Ichabod catches her and goes “no” but then the rest (not knowing her murderous intent) fall in love with her and Ichabod is like: “shoot well I’ll keep you alive and around but I’m watching you” and blah blah romance and feelings and character development and wow she seems like she’s grown to care about them... So Ichabod removes a curse he put to prevent her from harming them or leaving... AND THEN SHE STABS THEM ALL IN THE BACK IM CRYING. I mean she might have an extra reason for needing to kill them but I haven’t decided if I want to actually put it in the story yet so.
Fingertips:
Maria/Marianna: Was this goth angry chick and the head of these losers but after a failed heist, fire, and being betrayed and dropped from a window on a 3rd or 4th story down into flames, and going to the hospital and changing her name, she changed totally and become a soft pretty girl... And then the next three boys went “HEY BOSS WE FOUND YOU” and she went “oh no” and now she’s just an anxious wreck like “no no no no no I don’t shoot people in the face anymore no no no no no” And has a fear of hands. Also was Diamontés best friend in primary school and yes all these characters went to the K-12 school all the other characters do/did. Pretty voice. The story is mostly about her being anxious around all the other characters because who was it that betrayed her and dropped her into the flames below? Find out next week on th-
Nikki: He’s that character that you see and immediately go “oh he’s gross and is angry and is a bitch” and you’re right he is and has a cockney accent and screams a lot and probably swings a knife around a lot, but he’s got a sweet interior (somewhere in there... somewhere) Screamo heavy metal. Him and the rest of these character briefly talked about having a band and then they didn’t and then at the end of the story they do and although he plays guitar mostly, if he does do lead vocals he screams a lot. Bitch.
Anthony: Pretty boy but like the “was in the army” pretty boy vibe. Probably played football in highschool. Pyromaniac. Punches Nikki a lot. Almost gives himbo vibes sometimes, almost. Kind of likes the old timey cozy aesthetic. Plays the piano sometimes but “oh I’m not very good at it” Plays extremely well
Diamonté: TALL. Purple goth boy aesthetic hellll yeahhhh. CRAZY EYES AND THEY SPEAK VOLUMES WATCH OUT. Drums. The scary kind of quiet because he just smiles at you. Crowbar. Okay but he’s actually really sweet though. Secretly loves watching Anthony and Nikki get into fights so that’s why he rarely puts a stop to it. I think he’s a sadist. Can be a gentle giant, but can also be a not so gentle giant. The only time he’s really talkative is after copious amounts of booze.
Unnamed/Undesigned 1: Literally a pimp and he’s pretty gross. Blonde hair and pink and white clothes.
Unnamed/Undesigned 2: Chick that likes to throw knives and be angry and threatens Marianna a lot but in a quiet and monotone way, Marianna is pretty scared and hopes that these are just shallow threats uhhhhh.
Unnamed/Undesigned 3: Sells guns (without a lisence of course) and wears a bandana over his face a lot. Tired. Grumpy.
Unnamed/Undesigned 4: Like Marianna, was cold hearted and cool but then got caught in the fire and got all soft. He only has one eyes but how sweet his eyepatch is a heart. Recoved along side Marianna and they are good friends good friends tha- wait Marianna are you going back with them oh god you can’t do that oh dear oh no oh-
(I don’t have a story or name for these two but they’re my comfort ship OC’s and my current hyper fixaction right now):
Rodriquéz: I literally designed him with almost all the traits I find attractive in a guy other than freckles so as you can imagine I find him super HOT. I also designed his personality on what I find attractive from a guy so as you can imagine I find him super GREAT. But anyways he’s grumpy and closed off and monotone and smug. I really could go on for hours about how I want him to step on me I’m so sorry guys. Both him and Samantha give the “21 and having immature fun” vibes. They’re a thing but they like going to bars together and splitting off and doing their own thing (or doing someone else’s thing if you get what I mean haHhahHhahGahGhaha-) But so help them if anyone doesn’t oblige by the “no” from one of these two, someone’s gonna get beat up.
Samantha: (She literally just my personality shhhhh don’t tell anyone it’s a secret) Bubbly, energetic, a little shy by extroverted, bombshell blonde or something? It took me way too much time and effort to design her but I’m really happy with how I finally designed her, I love her outfit. She could kick me in the face and I’d say thank you. Girly drinks at the bar. Got that trauma and anxiety™️ secretly though. Skips and jumps a lot. As I’m typing this I keep looking up at the drawing of her and more and more I would want her to also step on me.
(Space Story I don’t have a nice title for):
Unnamed/Undesigned 1: So... Funny story this story originally was with me and uh... My ex I guess... So I gotta replace the MC’s... Whoops ahaha... Awkward. But anyways the MC is a robot and a girl and is a slight tsundere or smthn.
Unamed/Undesigned 2: Has a space ship, works for this organization in space that protects the galaxy. Is cocky, lazy, sly, oblivious, and an idiot. The love interest- obviously. Probably accidentally committing space crimes. (Like space pirating hAHAHA-) Kind of cool when he wants to be.
Dandelion/Dandy: CAT. WITH A JET PACK. Kind of an asshole. Fun fact used to be Polli’s cat but then when the Second MC crash landed on earth she was like “fuck this noise I’m going with space boy laterz” (okay she can’t talk but she thought it).
Zizii: Lesbian alien? Yeah???? Okay but I mean her main character trait is being a dorky back alley doctor and engineer obsessed with the MC because they’re a sentient robot with emotions and a lazer arm and rocket boots WOW!!!!!!!!
Story I want to revive:
So I had a story I started writing a long time ago about this tech theatre kid that had a crush on this other theatre kid character, but in a play that other character has to kiss another person for the show, and as the story progresses the MC convinces themselves that it isn’t just a play and that their crush actually loves and is kissing that other kid. And in the play, that other character is supposed to die. Show night comes along and they die, but like actually, and by the hands of the MC (Idk maybe like a light falls on em or smthn). So it’s a grotesque scene the audience sees as just an act. (Mutters I dunno I think my idea’s cool...) So I’ve been wanting to design these characters and work more on the story but I’m busy being obsessed with Rodriquez and Samantha so. (And the Horror Host Club too I love them too still).
Other Characters that either don’t have a specific story or are kind of like background characters:
Jacqueiliquinne Merril: Sara Berry vibes from 35mm (go look up The Ballad of Sara Berry, maybe like an animatic idk the first one that comes up is nice) But otherwise rich, pretty, popular, bitch. Tries to like, steal Louise from his squad and it’s like bro that’s unnecessary who hurt you that’s so rude. She gives Nui from Kill La Kill Vibes too. Oh she knows her name is long and annoying but you have to say the whole thing.
Brianna: Jaqueiliquinne’s sister. Big titty goth gf??? She’s pretty popular too and kind of a bitch too but to a much lesser degree. Her and he sister throw hands a lot when no one is around, you know, “THEY GIRLS ARE FIGHTINNGGGG”.
The Louise Fan Club: 4 characters I haven’t named yet. One writes fanfiction of Louise and shares it with the others and with him sometimes and although he thinks it’s a bit weird he also finds it a tad endearing and supports her. One is an aspiring photographer and is constantly asking Louise to model for him. One is an artist and draws Louise all the time. And one is an aspiring musician who writes songs based of Louise’s relationships which again he finds a little weird but endearing and supports her.
The Jacquiliquinne Merril Fan Club: Genderbent-ish (I say ish because one of the characters is a little bit less defined gender wise) versions of the Louise Fan Club. Yes I’m lazy, and no they don’t get along with them, infact they hate each others club with a passion.
Unnamed/Undesigned: I wanna make some hacker kid just because I wanna have one.
Unnamed/Undesigned: I also really wanna have a super cutesy magical girl and then a really super duper generic boring character probably like star vs the forces of evil idk I never watched that show but it looks cute.
Me: I exist in the universe fukc you I can do what I want it’s my story and I get to chose the who also if you wanna be in the mess of a universe go ahead draw yourself with my OC’s I allow and encourage and appreciate it. I literally made the Horror Host Club as a sort of Harem story and you are absolutely allowed to make out with them if you’re a monster fucker DO it GO ahead it’s canon.
and that is ALL I have FOR now Knowing me I’ll make like 12 more characters by July, and I mean I need more characters for the high school anyways so...
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A First Time for Everything Ch. 1
Rating: T
Words:3097
Warnings: none
In a moment of weakness Crowley found himself falling into the arms of a human. The consequences of his actions catch up with him as he not only learns how to be a father, but how to give and receive love the human way.
Basically Crowley fucked up and now he and Aziraphale are utterly incompetent parents to a half demon baby.
Crowley held the infant in his arms, brushing the soft black curls from her head. His tongue absentmindedly flicked and made a soft hissing sound. He was unsure how long he had been looking at the baby but the downy grey feathers on tiny wings confirmed his parenthood. Crowley had hardly believed it when he got the call. He remembered Sue; they’d had a run in nearly a year ago. It had been the night Aziraphale had given him the holy water, Crowley had launched himself into a self destructive binge, going to bar after bar.
He and Sue had seen each other around, she did crimes, he was a demon, it was bound to happen. She’d listened to Crowley talk about Aziraphale for hours without complaint. Something about her reminded him of Aziraphale, someone selfless enough to just listen for hours. (Or in Aziraphale’s case centuries.) He found himself in bed with her, which as a rule he didn’t do, he wasn’t that kind of demon. Sue had been the next best thing to what he really wanted; however, the person he really wanted was half way across London by now and had no interest in seeing him.
And what a shock it was when he got a call from the Catholic hospital outside of Liverpool that one Sue White, had named him the father of her baby before her unfortunate passing, and that he’d better hurry down soon. He’d assumed she’d mistakenly named him on the birth certificate, she couldn’t have known any better. He figured he wouldn’t get in too much trouble with hell for arranging for her funeral expenses to be paid and the baby to be adopted. Crowley had a soft spot for her and figured that it was least he could do for the poor confused woman, especially knowing what where she was going was like.
There was no doubt in Crowley’s mind that he would arrange for the child to be swiftly taken away and then he could wash his hands of the whole situation. Demons, or Angels for that matter, couldn’t reproduce. Demon children were just a human legend; an excuse to kill deviant individuals and witches. As was such, Crowley was in for quite a shock when he saw the child; unmistakably occult. This was going to be a much bigger ordeal than he had thought. Starting with the staff. They’d been fretting over the child, debating if removing the wings would be the best course of action, when Crowley waved a hand, erasing their memories all the way back to when the mother had arrived.
With a second snap he’d taken care of everything. Well almost everything that is. There was still the glaringly obvious, kicking, screaming problem laying in the back seat of the Bentley. “Shit! Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!” Crowley swore and pounded his fists on the hood of the car until small specks of blood had worked their way through the skin on his knuckles. He obviously ensured his beloved vehicle incurred no damage during his temper tantrum. Crowley wondered what he had done beyond his fall from heaven that had made him deserve this shit storm. He’d found himself driving the Bentley as fast as it would go back to London, the child tucked neatly under one arm.
“Oh dear, it looks like we are in quite the pickle.”
“Aziraphale. It much more looks like a pickle that I have worked myself into,” The demon put emphasis on the word, mocking Aziraphale. “You can certainly ask me to leave with this if you would like. I’m not even sure why I came to you. Certainly this is moving to fast for you.”
“What, and let you kill the thing?”
Crowley lifted his gaze from the child to the angel standing across the room, his yellow eyes blinking slow. The look he gave Aziriphale was incredulous, “You really think I’d kill my own child? Rather morbid isn’t it Angel? I might be a demon but I’m no monster.” Crowley’s usual sarcastic humor fell flat in the moment.
“No of course not Crowley! But my dear boy, it does seem that this is an unprecedented situation. And besides, it’s not like you have a lot of experience with,” Aziraphale waved his hand in the direction of the infant. He began pacing the bookstore for something that might be relevant. “What will you do about the mother? Certainly she had family.”
“I miracled her a nice resting place, Angel. She wasn’t on speaking terms with her mother, and her father is long dead.”
Aziraphale was surprised by the level of care Crowley seemed to put into the issue. The demon rarely bothered to learn names let alone stories. Aziraphale felt simultaneously warm towards Crowley and an ugly feeling welling up in his chest. Angels don’t get jealous, but it would seem that Aziraphale was an exception.
Crowley couldn’t think of anything to do but to go to Aziriphale, despite the hurt he still felt at his rejection. It’s not like there was anybody else in heaven or hell that would help him out of this one. He’d truly fucked himself this time. How could this have happened, and how the hell was he going to hide this. He continued to stare at the child, turning her over, as if inspecting a strange rock or coin. He brushed his fingers over her back vaguely thinking that he’s glad she didn’t get his eyes. Indeed they were yellow, but not the snakish slits of his own eyes, they were round and a muted tone. If it were not for the wings she could almost pass for human. Almost.
Crowley listened to Aziraphale’s pacing suddenly come to a halt. He flipped through a few more pages before coming to a conclusion. “Well. My resources have only confirmed what we knew to be true already,” Aziraphale bit the nail on his thumb, stumbling over his words. “So Sue was a human,” Crowley nodded, urging him to continue, “And you are a demon.”
“Last time I checked I was an aardvark,” Crowley said it without thinking, but it still brought a small smile to the angel’s face.
“Oh haha. Very funny,” he gave a look to the side one might call an eye roll. Aziraphale definitely wouldn’t call it that. “It would appear that only god can create an ethereal being, or in this case occult. So therefore, this has to be part of the ineffable plan.”
“Angel, it’s all part of the ineffable plan that’s the point. What we need to know is the why and the how of this ineffable fuck up.”
“Well, that’s where it gets a bit hairy. It seems that somehow you’ve broken that rule.”
“S’ not like it’s a first for me, breaking rules.”
Aziraphale considered his words carefully before speaking, “Yes. For some reason or another, the almighty decided that rule doesn’t apply to you. Or you are more powerful than we think. Either way it would seem that she decided this needed to happen. Reasons unknown.”
“Right right, moving in mysterious ways, talking to no one. Either way it would seem I’m not your average aardvark.” Crowley raised the child to eye level speaking to it more so than Aziriphale, “Well. What now?”
“You should probably name her. We can’t call her ‘the infant’ forever.”
“I meant what are we going to do about our respective head offices,” He quickly changed the topic back to more urgent matters, “Again you should not be involved in this. I shouldn’t have come to you with this, I’m sure that this is one hundred percent going too fast for you and not something I deserve help on,” the angel made a tutting sound, like he was going to interrupt. “Listen Angel. I got my self into this situation and it would probably be the good thing to leave me deal with it or even tell yours, or mine, or whoever about this.”
Aziriphale didn’t let Crowley get in another word, “No. Maybe the holy thing would be to leave you, to tell, oh whoever. The good thing would be to help you, and help this person who had no part in this and does not deserve whatever might happen if I do the holy thing.” Aziraphale picked up the child holding it at arms length, in a position that would most certainly at least injure a human baby.
“Aziraphale. You could fall for this,” the tone of the room shifted at that.
“For what? Protecting an innocent child? Helping my friend of 6,000 years? Someone who has performed nearly as many miracles as I.”
“For helping a demon! Two demons!” He couldn’t help the edge to his voice, as he moved to take the wriggling half-demon back from him.
“And how is this any different from what I did in the garden? Giving my sword to protect that couple. In my eyes this is no different, I’m sure the almighty would agree,” he maintained his hold on the girl, bringing her closer, “As it is, part of the ineffable plan.” Crowley merely blinked at him, shocked at the fierceness in the Angel’s voice.
Just as Aziraphale placed her on his shoulder he made a disgusted face, handing her back to Crowley. “It would seem she’s, uh, defecated.” Crowley laughed, until she was close enough for him to smell.
Nearly 2 hours, and several parenting books later an angel and a demon had a trolley full of everything on offer for babies. Aziraphale had insisted on getting one of everything, just in case. Crowley had slapped some clothes on the kid straight from the rack, much to the upset of the shocked manager. “Oh relax we’re going to pay for them,” he snapped in the direction of the poor person. They’d managed to make it to the register with only one crying episode from the infant; Aziraphale had managed to calm the child simply by taking it from Crowley and gently speaking to it about nonsense. If you asked Crowley it hadn’t hurt his feelings. That would be a lie.
Crowley ripped the tags off the baby clothes, handing them to the cashier as she added up their total. He miracled the the correct amount into his wallet before handing over the cash. Crowley loaded the car full, as Aziraphale sat in the front seat, holding the child awkwardly, still speaking in that tone, lest the child start another crying fit. So far Crowley had been a father for less than 6 hours and he has learned exactly one thing. And that was, that he is not good with children.
Yellow eyes flicked back and forth between the diagram and what he was doing. He tried again, folding the cloth slightly different this time. “Oh angel there’s no use. It’s like doing origami.” Crowley looked smug as he added on, “That’s one of the ones I invented you know.” Crowley threw down the pins he had been holding, giving up. “Why can’t I just,” he snapped his fingers, pantomiming a miracle.
“My dear, do you plan on miracling her diapers on every time? That would be rather suspicious to both our parties,” Aziraphale took another look at the diagram before reaching around Crowley to try for himself. He folded one left, and then right, and then down; and it was too loose around the legs. Aziraphale’s lips fell into a frown.
Crowley fought back a laugh, “See it’s not as easy as it looks!” The demon looked down at his daughter, her yellow eyes blinking up at him, tiny fist waving slightly. He didn’t understand how Aziriphale could connect with her so easily. Maybe he was incapable because, well, he was a demon after all. But if that was it, how could Aziraphale connect so easily with her when she was half demon herself. Not that Aziraphale had trouble connecting with demons in the first place, his Angelic love for others seemed to have no limits, unlike other angels.
Crowley held her up again, admiring his work. It actually stayed up this time, no gaps, and it even looked like the picture. Kind of. Aziraphale beamed at him, holding up an outfit to put on her. “Oh that! No way.”
“What? I thought it looked rather sporting.”
“Dungarees?” Crowley looked positively affronted by the suggestion, “Really Aziraphale? Dungarees? On a demon?”
“Half demon. And a baby at that!” He said pointedly, putting the clothes back in the bag and trading Crowley for the baby, “What’s your suggestion then?”
The demon rifled through the bag, frowning at the options. “Don’t you think these are all rather,” there was a pause as he looked up, “Bright?”
“Well I’m sure they didn’t have a demon’s sensibilities in mind when creating a line of clothing for human infants.”
“Ah... well. This one should do then,” Crowley pulled back out the dungarees and matching shirt with a sigh.
Aziraphale gave a satisfied smirk, handing back Crowley’s daughter in exchange for the dungarees. He touched the small wings, looking back at the clothes. “Let me just make a few adjustments. Do you have any thread and a needle?” Crowley sighed and led him to a drawer in the kitchen.
Aziraphale watched Crowley walk back to the living room, a fondness growing in his heart at the sight of the demon so concerned about somebody else. An uneasy feeling set over him; this was going to be very, very difficult to keep secret. Although the conditions weren’t ideal he had to admit he was glad to see the Bentley pull up outside of the bookstore. He’d doubted he’d see Crowley for at least another century, and had started to regret turning down his offer. He had certainly returned the demon’s feelings, but did not share his intrepid qualities. Heaven checked in much more than hell did.
Crowley sat on the sofa laying the baby beside him. Between the adrenaline and how much fun he was having making fun of each other with Aziraphale, he nearly forgot how absolutely fucked he was, just how little he knew and just how scared shitless he was. He looked over at the crib, Aziraphale had allowed him to miracle that one. He had been so lost in thought he hardly noticed Aziraphale returning with the altered clothes.
As soon as Aziraphale slid the clothes onto her and gently pulled her wings through the new holes she began to cry, face turning beat red. “Oh dear,” He held her up, looking to Crowley for guidance. Crowley merely stuttered and made some strange noises in response. “I think it’s the clothes, maybe they’re not fitting right. The books say they cry when they need something or are uncomfortable.” The angel tested his theory, taking off the dungarees. The screaming was unrelenting. “Oh dear,” Aziraphale repeated, handing the child back over to Crowley.
After about 3 hours of trial and error, an angel and a demon had a still screaming child, and some very angry neighbors. Not that any of Crowley’s neighbors would ever be brave enough to knock on Crowley’s door, let alone tell him off.
Aziraphale wiped the sweat from his brow, sitting down on the sofa. His eyes drifted to where Crowley was frantically rocking the child back and forth. “I dunno angel. I really dunno what it is,” he looked at Aziraphale with desperate, pleading eyes.
Aziraphale continued rifling through the items they’d gotten earlier in the day. Picking up a can labeled ‘formula’, and quickly reading over the back. “This is the only thing we haven’t tried. If it doesn’t work I may consider smiting the child.” Aziraphale made it as directed and held the cup up to the baby’s lips, immediately spilling it on her, causing an increase in the volume of the screaming, if that was at all possible.
“Oh angel! That can’t be right. Read the directions again,” Crowley sounded exasperated as he spoke, and replaced the child’s clothes.
Aziraphale came back with the formula in a different container. This time when he held it up to the baby’s lips she took it immediately. Crowley looked at Aziraphale with wide eyes and mouthed out ‘yes!’, pumping his free fist in the air. After what seemed like only a few seconds the infant’s eyes began to drift closed and Crowley set her in the crib, taking a few extra seconds to view his daughter. He heard Aziraphale praising the creativity of the human invention of baby bottles in the background.
He flopped down onto the sofa next to the angel. “Aziraphale we are so fucked. Is it too late to consider a smiting?”
Despite laughing at Crowley’s joke, he took on a more serious tone, “Crowley you’re the one who got yourself into this mess. It’s part of the ineffable plan so there’s no use trying to change that.” Aziraphale chuckled slightly, “Plus a smiting would certainly draw our superior’s attention to us.” He couldn’t resist the urge to slide a comforting hand onto the demon’s knee.
Crowley looked to where Aziraphale’s hand rested, he laughed, supporting his head with a hand. “I was thinking about Angela.”
“As the name for the baby?”
“No as a new name for myself.” Crowley rolled his eyes and then looked to Aziraphale, “Yes as the name for the baby. What d’ya think?”
Aziraphale considered it for a moment, tilting his head to the side to get a better look at her. “I like it. Angela. It’s a bit witchy though innit?”
“Yeah. Sue was always on the witchy side though; she would have liked it.”
“Not very demonic. Angela doesn’t really inspire fear. Quite the opposite really.”
“What would you name her then? Crawly?” Crowley’s words dripped with more hurt than he’d like to admit.
“Angela is nice Crowley. And a middle name?” He looked over expectantly.
“I can barely come up with my own middle name why don’t you do it?” Crowley got up to pour them some wine, and leave Aziraphale to think on it.
“What about Eleanor? Never met a bad Eleanor,” He took the wine with a curt ‘thank you’ before looking to Crowley to continue their conversation.
“Of course you’d pick Eleanor!” Crowley laughed taking his seat.
“What?” Aziraphale wanted to know what exactly was so funny about him choosing Eleanor. He’d asked for his opinion hadn’t he?
“It’s just traditional. Anyways it’s great. It’ll do just fine.”
Aziraphale tipped his glass forward to clink with Crowley’s, “To Angela Eleanor Crowley.”
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