#( . han is um. not a great soldier and he's not good at obeying orders either

[stillsolo]

@tapalslegacy 𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚎𝚍 :: ❝Terrified at what my own instincts might lead to.❞

             𝙱𝙴𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙰 𝙿𝙸𝙻𝙾𝚃 𝙸𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙸𝙼𝙿𝙴𝚁𝙸𝙰𝙻 𝙽𝙰𝚅𝚈 𝙷𝙰𝙳 𝙱𝙴𝙴𝙽 𝙰 𝙲𝙷𝙸𝙻𝙳𝙷𝙾𝙾𝙳 𝙳𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙼 for as long as solo could remember.  however, it was only recently that han began questioning if his dreams of joining the imperial army had been nothing more than a means to survive, a goal established for the sake of living long enough to one day see it through, rather than a future lifelong aspiration.

in hindsight, he should’ve seen it coming from a visvia away, should’ve known better than to believe he could ever belong to anyone or anything other than himself.  countless years of unsuccessful escapes and relentless beatings had taught him that lesson well enough, but nothing drove it home quite like finally tearing off the razorhound collar that had leashed him to a life of servitude, the very collar shrike had locked around his neck since he was a boy too young to speak, let alone defend himself.

however, liberation soon ushered in a sobering revelation, and it didn’t take long for han to come to grips with the extent of his current ( self-made ) predicament. three months of active duty service on the death star was all he needed to come to grips with the bitter truth: this was not the life he had expected or wanted. and now he had no one to blame but himself.

well, himself and maybe the TIE fighter some hapless acenvir had left unattended in the hangar.

❝i, uh… i guess i see where you’re coming from, sir.❞  han cleared his throat and damned his inexperience with formalities that betrayed exactly how awkward he felt.  ❝i’ll admit, i wasn’t exactly thinkin’ when i commandeered that TIE fighter. but let’s face it, if we’d waited any longer, asmeru’s blockade would’ve flanked us in a heartbeat. we’d be down half our fleet if i hadn’t stepped up.❞

                     ❝i acted on instinct ’cause flying’s in my blood.❞