#( ɴᴏᴡ... ʟᴇᴛ's ɢᴏ ᴘʀᴀᴄᴛɪsᴇ ᴍᴇᴅɪᴄɪɴᴇ || crack. )

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     ❝ LET ME SEE... in my medical opinion, Herr Sniper is worth... ❞

     ❝ ... 1.3 billion dollars. Please leave him alone – I’ve invested most of my funds into replacing his organs. They would all go to such waste if he were bullied into a premature death. ❞

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@refiinedrogue​

     ❝  MOMMY.  ❞

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I was gonna say “you know who you are” but u know what. im just gonna do a fuckin callout @brawla && @sootsouls tbh

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     a wayward glance at his older brother; a tap of an elegant hand to tip rimmed glasses up his nose. trenderman sighs, hand upon his hip and torso spun 'round to face his elder sibling. he utters —— " the last thing I'd want in my burger king burger is someone's foot fungus.

✧・ﾟ:* trending for  [  ~  @kcblooie  ~  ]

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     ❝ HERR SNIPER’S ASS IS SO FLAT that when if you were to use it for the purpose of comparison, it would make the most pathetic of anthills look like entire mountain ranges. ❞

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     When Sniper says to  ❛ Kill the bastard again. ❜  but you’re entirely incapable of telling whether it’s the Heavy he wants dead, or if it’s you.

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     ❝ A LITTLE BIRD CAME AND TOLD ME THAT SOMEONE is bullying Archimedes. ❞  And when Archimedes barely eats enough as it is!  ❝ That’s just deplorable. How would he like it if I poisoned all that horrible sugar-in-a-can stuff that his little demon is constantly drowning himself in? ❞

     ( If Archimedes hates that man’s guts, then Ludwig will be glad to pull them straight out of the culprit’s stomach for the boy. )

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soft, what baseball through yonder window break, it landeth on your table with a note saying, "Hey pal, i got a bucket o chicken"

✉  ➺ 𝒴ou’ve got mail!  ➺ ℱormulating response… Classification:  no source or meme located.  ||  Inquiries for the doctor.

     ❝ O SCOUT, SCOUT! WHEREFORE ART THOU SCOUT? ❞

     ❝Deny thy father, Spy that backstabbing ho bitch, seriously fuck that guy if he accepts not our gay love, and refuse thy name. Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love – and I’ll no longer work with the Classics to fuck RED over.❞

✧・ﾟ:*  [  -  REDACTED  -  ]

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@gaelicgene replied to your post: @gaelicgene replied to your post: ...

BLU medic vs RED medic but wearing similar attire moira voice: which one do i shoot…

     both of us, darling. the one who dies, naturally, will not be me. we can share a pleasant moment as you extract the bullet from my body and we calculate the damage to figure a way to provide a proper buffer against the next bullet, ja?

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@talariis replied to your post:      ❝ HERR SNIPER’S ASS IS SO FLAT that when if...

“And yet it’s bettah’ than your personality.”

     ❝ AS COARSE AS MY PERSONALITY can be, I am glad to say that it will always be a great deal shallower than the impressive grave you’ve dug for yourself during your stay in the proverbial closet. 

      ❝ I’m sure no matter how flat and unimpressive Herr Sniper’s ass is, you will nevertheless enjoy it. Not that there is anything WRONG with that, of course. The emotional support will be very nice for him. ❞

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@crocodun replied to your post:      ❝ I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE RED TEAM for the...

finally archimedes can get a paycheck and we can get some real god damn medical service around here

     ❝ REMEMBER THAT I GAVE YOU YOUR LIFE back. Suddenly I’m feeling like taking it away again right now. ❞

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@sootsouls  replied to your post:      ❝ I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE RED TEAM for the...

WE DONT NEED U BITCH WE’VE GOT HELLO-KITTY BANDAIDS

     ❝ I GUESS YOU DON’T NEED TO SEE how your ex-Medic looks in these nice thigh high socks and shorts since you apparently don’t need me now. ❞

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@talariis replied to your post:      ❝ I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE RED TEAM for the...

“FINALLY WE ARE FREE. FREE!!!”

     ❝ FINALLY, I CAN FREELY KILL SCOUT out on the battlefield! ❞

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"doctor, your savagery is going to kill people"

✉  ➺ 𝒴ou’ve got mail!  ➺ ℱormulating response…Classification:  no source or meme located. ||  Accusing him? How dare

     ❝ OH. THAT WON’T DO AT ALL. KILLING PEOPLE IS VERY problematic in my field of work. ❞  

     Admittedly, you’ve caught him red-handed. The Medic raises both arms up in surrender, casting ( guiltless ) eyes to the ground.

     ❝ ... But not to worry, hurting their feelings is not the same as killing them. Pain is the feeling of weakness leaving your body, yes? I’m sure they will thank me later. 

     ❝ See – if I make fun of Herr Spy’s face now, in small bursts, he may be sobbing for hours out of anguished insecurity behind that silly mask of his, but then he will be absolutely numb to it in, say... ten years! You see? The theory of immunisation! ❞

✧・ﾟ:*  [  @lil-miss-romano  ]

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     ❝ Do you know ze wae? ❞

                                                                         ❝ Spit on his sentry ❞

             ❝ YOU DO NOT KNOW ZE WAE MON AMI ❞ 

ooc ┊ now available as icons

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ooc ┊ if @refiinedrogue doesn’t appreciate my shitposting then I will thx

          SPYGANDAN KNUCKLES