#( LMAOOOOO HE'S SUCH AN OLD MAN I SWEAR )

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 16- The Lone Star State

Summary: You and Javi head to Dallas for the weekend to make good on his Christmas present to the Stars vs. Blackhawks game. While you're there, you run into someone from your past that sets the weekend in a different direction.

Word Count: 15.7K (I'm genuinely so sorry except I'm not)

Warnings: SMUT (18+) strap in y'all... unprotected p in v sex, creampie, breeding kink, praise kink, oral (f and m receiving), vaginal fingering, light bondage (aren't we glad Javi brought his work tie?!), multiple orgasms, orgasm denial, dom/sub Javi AND Osita (omg y'all), Javi being a whining, WHIMPERING mess (it deserves its own warning) violence (Javi punches someone), alcohol/being tipsy, food/eating, I'm not even gonna lie everyone... This chapter is really just hockey and sex LMAOOOOO

A/N: Trick or Treat! Here's a lil Halloween something for all of you being so patient and waiting for me to finish this unexpected monster 🫣 I swear, I thought I was gonna struggle to make this chapter long enough, and now here we are, with the longest NTL chapter to date 🥴 SO EAT UP AND ENJOY 🤪 Shout out to @endlessthxxghts for listening to my horny ramblings about this chapter ILYYYYYYY

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Your teacher guilt had never been good at letting you take days off. You had gone to school with sore throats, stuffy noses, fevers, hell, you had gone to school with what you were convinced was the plague because you felt so bad leaving your class with a sub. So when it came to taking personal days, it was safe to say, you felt even worse. That’s why Javi knew when he had planned your Christmas trip to Dallas with a Friday night game for the Chicago Blackhawks vs. the Dallas Stars, he was going to need plenty of backup support from your co-workers to convince you it was okay to take a Friday afternoon off to do something for yourself to enjoy. 

“Okay, and just make sure that the substitute knows that all of the worksheets for math are on my desk next to-” 

“MIJA. Dios Mio. Yes, yes, yes, I will make sure the substitute knows where everything is. It is a Friday afternoon, all she needs to do is keep them alive. Don’t worry about a thing, I promise I have it covered. Now go! Tu futuro esposo te está esperando! (Your future husband is waiting for you!)” Maria waved her hand at you, practically shooing you out of your own classroom, trying to get you to stop explaining your very detailed plans you had left behind that you had already told her 4 different times leading up to today, in addition to leaving an extra copy on her desk, just in case something went wrong. 

“Okay, okay! Thank you Maria. You’re the best.” You laughed, slinging your bag over your shoulder, starting to make your way down the hall to the front office. 

“Yo se. Ten un buen fin de semana! (I know. Have a fun weekend!). Not too much fun, if you know what I mean.” Maria winked, waving goodbye as she walked the opposite direction back towards her own classroom. 

“Maria!” You grimaced, your face turning bright red watching her cackle in delight as she closed her door behind her. You took a final breath as you headed down the hallway, convincing yourself that your class would be just fine for their substitute, and even if they weren’t, well, that would just have to be Monday’s problem. 

“Man, you’re really sexy for a taxi driver, you taking people to the airport, hottie?” you giggled, hopping into the passenger’s side of Javi’s truck, tossing your school bag into the backseat with the rest of your suitcases. Like most people’s jobs, Javi’s work at the sheriff’s department didn’t require him to leave behind detailed instructions of how to keep 25 8 year olds alive and educated when he wanted to take time off, so he had offered to leave work early to pack up all of your things so you could head right to the airport from Alma Pierce Elementary. “Oh my god, and you got BLT’s from Alejandro’s, too? Sexiness and bringing me sandwiches? This is the best cab ride I’ve ever had.” The two of you laughed as Javi rolled his eyes at you, passing you over your sandwich as you headed en route to the Laredo Airport. 

“You’re such a weirdo. How was your day, Osita?” Javi asked, reaching over to place his hand on your leg, gently tracing circles in the denim of your jeans as you chowed down on your sandwich, finally getting a chance at a bite of food for the first time since breakfast. 

“Better now that I’m with you. And that you brought me this delicious sandwich. I’ve been so distracted all day because I’ve been so excited for this weekend.” You beamed through bites of your BLT, reaching down to give Javi’s hand a squeeze. 

“Me too, Hermosa. I’ve never been to Dallas before, so I’m glad my first trip is with you.” 

“Seriously? I guess I forget how big Texas is. It’s probably like what, a 7 hour drive from Laredo?” You shrugged, taking another bite of your sandwich, trying to calculate the distance in your brain. 

“About 6 and a half. Which is exactly why we’re flying, and not driving.” 

“What? You don’t wanna spend 6 and a half hours in the car with me?” You smirked, giving him a playful nudge with your elbow before crossing your arms over your chest. 

“No, I don’t wanna spend 5 hours and 45 minutes by myself driving while you sleep the whole way.” He laughed, elbowing you back, the both of you knowing you made the worst road trip partner for any drive longer than an hour, since you’d be sound asleep in the passenger’s seat as Javi drove. 

“To be fair, you’re always the one driving.” You retorted, rolling your eyes at his jab, knowing he wasn’t wrong. 

“Because you refuse to drive my truck, and I’m convinced if you drive your car anywhere more than 10 miles at a time, it’ll collapse.” 

“Hey! Woodstock can make it at least a good 50 before I start to get genuinely concerned. I trust him more than I trust the metal death trap we’re about to ride in. I think you just like watching me suffer while we fly because you know how much I hate it.” You sassed, giving him an unseriously stern look that had you on the verge of bursting into laughter. 

“I think the bones in my hand would beg to differ, Hermosa. After the past two flights to Chicago, I’m surprised I have any left considering the death grip you have every time we take off and land.” Javi chuckled, nudging you back. 

“Like I said Jav, you’re the one who booked the flight, can’t blame this one on me.” 

To neither of your surprise, you couldn’t help but find your hand tightly wrapped in Javi’s for the hour and a half flight from Laredo to Dallas. Although he refrained from giving you any shit as you sat only partially paralyzed next to him on your trip, his “I told you so” look as the two of you got off the plane was all he needed to do to have you rolling your eyes, knowing as long as the two of you flew together, he would always tease you for crushing his hand, but you and him both knew he wouldn’t want it any other way. 

Your cab ride from the airport to the hotel was a quick trip, Javi picking a hotel downtown close to fun bars and restaurants for the two of you to try, and to Reunion Arena where you were headed in a few hours to watch the Stars and the Blackhawks play. You both unpacked your bags from the taxi, Javi insisting that he carry your bag too. It didn’t take long into your relationship for you to give up on trying to persuade Javi that you could carry your own bags, open your own doors or go get things yourself, his response always being “I know you can, Hermosa, but I want to.” While the stubborn part of you always wanted to fight him on it, there was always a part of you that couldn’t help but smile every time he insisted on doing things for you simply because he wanted to, for no other reason than the fact he loved you. 

“Hi, we’re checking in. The name should be under Javier Peña.” Javi smiled at the woman at the front desk of the hotel as the both of you strolled up hand in hand. 

“Alright Mr. and Mrs. Peña it looks like we’ve got you checking in tonight and then checking out on Sunday, is that correct?” The woman nodded back at the two of you, clicking away at the keyboard in front of her to gather the rest of your room information. You and Javi paused for a moment, quietly looking at each other with smug grins on your faces, feeling no need to correct her mistake. 

“Yup, that’s us.” You chimed in, giving Javi a little nudge under the counter, still smirking at the thought of hearing your last name as his. 

“Perfect! We have you staying in room 403. If you take a left down this hallway, the elevators are right that way. Have a wonderful stay, Mr. and Mrs. Peña!” The woman grinned, handing over your room keys and gesturing down the hallway, the two of you nodding back, giving a polite thanks as you grabbed your bags and headed off towards your room. 

“Didn’t feel the need to correct her on that one, huh?” You giggled, playfully poking at Javi as the two of you waited for the elevator. 

“Absolutely not, Mrs. Peña.” He grinned, grabbing your bags as the two of you stepped through the open doors of the elevator, glad to find it empty as you pressed the button to ride up to your floor. “Fuck, I can’t believe in a few months you’re actually gonna be my wife. God, I can’t wait.” 

You could feel the heat creeping up your cheeks, butterflies swirling in your stomach as you looked up at him, soft smiles spread across both your faces. “Me neither. Crazy to think the next time we stay at a hotel together it’ll be on our honeymoon.” You smirked, raising an eyebrow at him, biting down on your lip. Javi shook his head, running his hand over his face almost in disbelief before pulling you in closer, reaching his hand down to grab a handful of your ass as his voice rasped in your ear. 

“Fuck me. Better make sure we put this hotel room to good use and get some practice in before we go then, huh?” 

Before you could respond, you could hear the ding of the elevator doors sliding open, Javi quickly pulling away, noticing several hotel guests standing on the other side of the door, grabbing your bags and getting off the elevator. You let out a deep sigh, trying to compose yourself as you excused yourself through the small crowd, giving Javi a goofy, stern look as he laughed, carting your bags behind him as you made your way down the hall towards your room. 

“You cannot just be saying stuff like that, you menace. You know we do not have time to do anything before we have to leave, and you’re gonna get me all hot and bothered.” You grimaced, playfully swatting at him as he set down your things to grab the room key out of his pocket. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Osita. I would never do that.” Javi joked, a boyish grin growing between his cheeks as he pushed open the door, hauling your bags inside. “Plus, you know I could make it quick, we could have time if you really wanted to.” Throwing your bags down on the ground next to the bed, Javi smirked as he sat down on the edge, giving you the sweet brown eyes he knew you couldn’t resist. 

“Oh bullshit you never would, you dork.” You rolled your eyes, making your way over to Javi, slotting yourself in between his legs as you ran your hands through the soft brown curls of his hair, pressing a tender kiss on his lips before pulling away, cupping your hand around his cheek. “Believe me, I know you could, but the game starts in an hour and a half and we still have to eat dinner and get to the stadium. You spent all this money on me to take me here to see the game and we’re not missing it because you can’t keep it in your pants, mister.” 

“When you’ve got a future wife as hot as you, can you blame me?” Javi shrugged, wrapping his arms around your waist, reaching his hands down to grab your ass again, tugging you hard enough to make you fall over on top of him, making you giggle as you landed on his chest. 

“You’re ridiculous, you know that? Believe me, once we get back, my future husband can have me any way he wants me. But right now, we have a hockey game to get to, Mr. Peña.” You grinned, biting down on your lip before giving him another quick kiss and pushing yourself off the bed, leaving Javi still laying down wide eyed and worked up as you rummaged through your suitcase, pulling out a Blackhawks jersey for you, and one from Charlie’s extensive collection for Javi to borrow, tossing it on the bed next to him. You shuffled out of the sweater you had worn to work, leaving you in just your bra and jeans as you searched through your bag to pull out a crewneck to wear under your jersey. 

“Any way? You’re not making this any easier on me.” Javi huffed, beginning to shed his own jacket to change, undressing you with his eyes faster than you could have undressed yourself. 

“Well you’re not about to make it any easier on me once you put that jersey on either.” You sighed, watching Javi throw on his jersey over his shirt, your jaw immediately going slack at the sight. “Jesus Christ, you’re so hot. God, I can’t even look at you. C’mon, we gotta get outta here before we miss this whole game.” You laughed, overdramatically shielding your eyes from Javi, marching your way over to the door to avoid any temptations. Javi chuckled, grabbing his jacket and following behind you, opening up the door for you, outstretching his arm toward the hallway. 

“After you, Mrs. Peña.” 

Someway or another, the two of you managed to make it out of the hotel, deciding on a barbeque restaurant down the street from the stadium for dinner. The two of you decided to get ribs to split, leaving Javi equal parts shocked and impressed at the speed you demolished your dinner, realizing you were much hungrier than you had anticipated. After finishing your dinner, the two of you walked over to Reunion Arena, perhaps feeling a little like the odd ones out in your red and black amongst a sea of green and gold, but the feeling of being back in a stadium to watch a live hockey game filled you with a sense of comfort and content even if you were far from your home arena in Chicago. 

“I haven’t been to an NHL game in so long. You seriously have no idea how excited I am for this, thank you so much, Jav.” You beamed, squeezing his hand as the two of you made your way into the arena, working your way through the sizeable crowd, considering how well the Dallas Stars had been doing this season. “I feel honored to be the first one to take you to your first professional hockey game.”

“Of course, Osita. I’m excited to be here with you. If it wasn’t for you, I would have gone my whole life without ever watching a hockey game.” Javi smiled, gripping your hand a little tighter than usual as you navigated through the sea of fans, trying to find your seats. 

There hadn’t been many instances where you and Javi had found yourselves in large crowds of people, but whenever you did, you could always sense the slight shift in Javi’s demeanor- While it didn’t make him uneasy, you could always tell he was a little more on alert and on edge. Your brothers had been the same way when they had come back from active duty whenever they were in crowds, and you could understand why Javi felt that way, too. But what Javi was that your brothers weren’t when you found yourselves in these situations was overly protective of you. Holding your hand tighter than normal, shielding your body with his whenever you had to walk through a crowd, giving guys who looked in your direction a little too long a death glare he hoped you wouldn’t catch- Javi would never admit it, knowing the stubborn and independent woman you were, but you knew just as well as he did that he got just a touch more possessive whenever the two of you went out, and tonight was no exception. 

Javi had tried to chalk it up to the fact that you stood out because of your opposing jerseys, but he couldn’t help but notice the looks that you had been getting since the minute you had entered the stadium, the wandering eyes of groups of guys with their buddies silently nodding to each other with subtle smirks on their faces as you unassumingly walked by. And while he was never worried that you would do anything about it, he couldn’t help but feel a little heat start to burn in the pit of his stomach as men looked your way a little too long, especially as the two of you walked hand in hand through the arena, the men glancing in your direction knowing you were off limits because you were his. While he wouldn’t say it, and was going to try his damndest not to show it, Javi couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. 

After a quick walk through the arena, you and Javi found your section, practically dragging him down the steps towards your seats in excitement to know your seats were right up against the boards at center ice, which, to you, were the best seats in all of hockey regardless of where you were watching. “Javi, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, these seats are amazing, I have never had seats this good at a hockey game ever! You sure these are our seats? Like, we actually get to sit here?” You squealed, pointing to the pair of empty seats in your row, practically bouncing in excitement. 

“Yes, actually.” Javi laughed, beaming at your pure joy and excitement as you plopped into your spots, watching you take in the sights and sounds of the pre-game excitement. You were like a little kid on Christmas, even giddier than you were when you first saw the tickets on the day as your present, filling Javi’s heart to know his gift had brought you such genuine happiness. 

Looking up at the scoreboard, you figured you had just enough time to go to the bathroom and grab the two of you a beer before the game started, shooting up out of your seat and giving Javi a quick kiss on the cheek as you scooted past him. “Where are you going?” Javi asked, looking at you with confusion as you made your way down the aisle. 

“I gotta pee and I’m gonna go grab us drinks before the game starts.” You gestured up towards the stairs and then back at the game clock ticking down towards zero. You were equally as confused as Javi started to stand up too, looking like he was getting ready to follow you. “You need to pee, too?” 

“No, I was uh- I was gonna go with you.” Stuck halfway between standing and sitting, Javi paused, trying to silently convey to you that he didn’t mind going, for his own sake to know that no one was going to try and bother you on your trip. 

“Jav, I’m good, it’ll be like 5 minutes, don’t worry.” You nodded reassuringly, giving him a little shrug as you made your way up the steps to the entrance of your section. 

“O-okay.” Javi half smiled back at you, watching the whole way you went up before you disappeared into the crowd, leaving him anxiously tapping his fingers against his jeans as he waited for you to return. 

The one benefit of being a female hockey fan was that you seemed to come few and far between, making your trips to the bathroom at any game much shorter than the average women’s bathroom line, happily speeding in and out before making your way over to the concession stand. You stood in line, peeking your head over the other people waiting with you to try and see what your beer choices were on the menu above the cash registers, when you noticed familiar flashes of red and black jerseys a few lines over. Out of curiosity, you stood on your tiptoes, peering through the crowd to see who else had Blackhawks jerseys on all the way out in Dallas. Taking a few steps forward with your moving line, you were able to get a better look at the group of guys chatting amongst each other, only able to see the backs of their heads and the player’s jerseys they were wearing, until one of them turned around towards you making your gut sink and your heart stop. 

There’s no fucking way.  

You immediately turned around, hoping the group hadn’t seen you staring, visibly shaking your head to try and clear your thoughts. You quickly looked over once more, only able to see the backs of their heads again, making it easier to convince yourself you must have just been seeing things. 

“Ma’am? Ma’am? Are you ready to order?” A woman called out from the cash register, trying to get your attention as you stood frozen in disbelief, staring at the ground. 

“Uh, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Um, can I uh- I can I just get two Miller Lites, please?” You asked, pulling out your wallet and handing over a few bills and your ID, nervously bouncing your leg while you waited for her to return with your drinks, stuffing your change back into your pocket and grabbing your beers. You tried as best as you could to book it back to your seats, praying that if who you thought you had seen was really there, you had made it out fast enough that they hadn’t seen you. 

You had made it back just in time, the lights in the arena now beginning to dim, the crowd roaring as the Blackhawks and the Stars skated out of the tunnel to greet the crowd and warm up before the game started. You had hoped that the darkness of the arena would be enough to hide your rattled expression from Javi as you snuck back to your seat, passing his beer off to him as you sat down with yours, taking a long swig before setting it down in your cup holder. While the lack of lights may have been enough to hide your face, it wasn’t enough to make up for your silence as you sat down next to Javi, now looking over at you with concern. “You okay, Osita?” He asked, reaching down to wrap his hand around your knee that you had been trying to keep from anxiously tapping since you got back to your seat. 

“Uh, yeah. Yeah. I’m good. I just- um, I just thought I saw someone that I knew here but I don’t know how the hell it would be them or why they would be in Dallas, so it must have just been someone who looked like them. Sorry, it was just weird.” You shook your head again, trying to use any rational part of your brain to convince yourself of your words, and not let it ruin the rest of your night. “I’m good, I promise.” Leaning over the edge of your seat, you planted a soft kiss on Javi’s cheek, giving him a reassuring smile before letting out a big cheer as the announcer began shouting out the names of the Blackhawks starting lineup through the arena. 

Thankfully, it didn’t take much for you to forget about your unsettling observation at the concession stand- the excitement and energy of the game quickly took over, cheering and screaming as the puck dropped and the first period began. The seats that Javi had picked out were incredible, giving you a close up on all of the action, including a few body checks pressed up against the glass right next to you as the two teams battled on the ice. You had always told Javi whenever you watched games on TV that you never expected him to care or be nowhere near as invested as you were, but knowing how important it was to you and how much you loved it, he had made an effort to try and learn as much as he could to keep up, leaning over to your seat every once in a while to ask you questions or try and point out something he noticed. It warmed your heart to see how much Javi wanted to show that he cared, and made you even more thrilled to see that he was just as into watching the game as you were, now yelling and clapping along with you opposite the crowd filled with Dallas Stars fans. Anything you did with Javi made you happy, simply because you got to be with him, but you really owed it to him for making this one of the best hockey games that you had been to in a very, very long time. 

As the second period came to a close, the Blackhawks were up 2-1, the two of you so excited by the game that you hadn’t realized you both could go for another beer refill and another trip to the bathroom. You made your way up the stairs, Javi following close behind as you parted ways at the entrance to your section, agreeing that you would go get your drinks and meet him at the concession stand, since your trip to the bathroom was probably going to be much shorter than his. After a quick run through a nearly empty bathroom, you shot back over to the concession stand, standing back in the same line you were before, completely forgetting about your observation from your last trip. 

Grabbing both of your beers, you leaned against a pillar next to the concession stand, waiting for Javi to come back from the bathroom, when you heard the faintly familiar voices nearby, your stomach starting to turn once again, looking out at the crowd to see if you could find where they were coming from. You peered your head the opposite direction of where you came, feeling a sense of relief with no black or red jerseys in sight, cautiously tiling your eyes back the other way, only to feel your heart sink to the pit of your stomach with the group of guys now standing in front of you. Your chest began to pound, squeezing your eyes shut, somehow hoping it would make you, or better yet, them disappear, but it was no use. 

“I told you it was her! How’s it going, Ice Princess? Long time, no see! I can’t fucking believe this. Paul! Paul! Get over here, I told you it was her, you motherfucker!” 

Letting out a deep breath, you reluctantly opened your eyes to see your ex-boyfriend Paul and his obnoxious group of friends standing in front of you, snickering and pointing like middle school boys in your general direction at your absolutely flabbergasted face. “You gotta be fucking kidding me…” You muttered under your breath, clenching your jaw and tightening your grip around your beers as the group approached you, pushing Paul front and center, as if you needed it to be any more obvious that his presence had been known. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” You snapped, glaring at Paul’s tall and lanky figure, his short blonde hair spiked up in the same way you absolutely hated, cocky grin stretched across his face as he approached you. 

“Damn, nice to see you too, Princess.” Paul laughed, his group of friends joining in and cackling behind, giving each other playful slaps. 

“Don’t fucking call me that.” You growled, giving him a deathly glare, now anxiously bouncing your foot, wondering where Javi was and what was taking him so long. “You didn’t answer my question, asshole.” 

“Calm down, Princess, Jesus. We’re here this weekend for an accounting conference downtown. Work paid for us to fly down today so we figured we’d catch the game since the Hawks were playing tonight. What the hell are you doing here?” Paul crossed his arms, giving you a condescendingly smug smirk, as if you were supposed to be happy to see him. 

“I live here? Remember that thing where you were a complete dickwad and cheated behind my back for 2 years and told me my brother deserved to die so it became incredibly clear to me that there is no one else on the fucking face of this earth I would rather be with less than you? Or is that too much for your idiot brain to remember?”  You were practically snarling at him at this point, nostrils flared and jaw clenched as the angry pit in your stomach grew heavier and heavier each second you looked at Paul. God, where the hell was Javi? 

“Ouch…” One of the guys grimaced behind Paul’s back, the rest of them frowning in agreement, almost impressed by your brashness. “Told you this wasn’t gonna go over well, dude.” Another mumbled, giving Paul a little nudge. 

“Shut the fuck up, Eric.” Paul retorted, rolling his eyes at his friend, trying to save the little dignity you had just spared him. “Okay, okay, point taken. I did some not so great shit, sorry. Don’t need to be such a brat about it.” Holding up his hands in defense, Paul shrugged, giving you the most unapologetic look you had ever seen. “Listen, one of the guys said he saw a hot chick in a Blackhawks jersey, it sparked my attention, turns out it was you. Figured I’d come say hi, let you know you still look real fuckin’ good. See if maybe you wanna go get a drink or something after the game and catch up?” 

You were so heated and filled with rage locked in your sinister staring match with Paul that you hadn’t heard Javi come up behind you, making you flinch and spill some of the beer you had been holding as he quickly grabbed them out of your hands, setting them down on the ground before instinctively wrapping his arm around your waist. Even though you were still fuming, you felt a sense of relief wash over you to see that not only was Javi finally back, but that he had clearly also picked up on the fact that you did not look happy to see whoever had been talking to you. 

“These guys bothering you?” Javi asked, digging his fingertips into your hip, shooting Paul a menacing glare. Before you could say anything to try and explain what the hell was happening, Paul was scoffing at you and Javi, giving you a disgusted look as he pointed at him. 

“Who the fuck is this?” 

“Who the fuck are you?” Javi snapped back, his tone becoming increasingly harsher with the way Paul had responded to his presence. 

“A friend from Chicago-” 

“A friend from Chicago?! Shut the fuck up, Paul.” You groaned, jaw dropping in shock that he had the audacity to try and play it off to Javi like he was an old acquaintance you were happy to run into. “This is my fiancé, asshole.” 

“Fiancé? Yikes, talk about needing a fucking rebound, huh?” Paul laughed, his friends joining in behind him 

“What’s that supposed to mean, motherfucker?” You growled, lunging toward Paul, Javi grabbing you by your waist to keep you from getting any further, pulling you back towards him. The sight of Javi having to physically restrain you from trying to go after him only made Paul laugh harder, shaking his head and letting out a deep, satisfied sigh before speaking again. 

“God, you’re just as much as fucking mess as you were when we broke up, aren’t you? The boys always said I liked ‘em hot and crazy so guess we’re fuckin’ two for two, aren’t we, Princess? Good luck with this one, man. You got your fucking hands full.”  Looking you up and down as you tugged against Javi’s grasp, trying to free yourself, Paul let out one last huff of amusement before beginning to turn around and walk away, only to be stopped by a large hand yanking at the back of his jersey, forcing him to back around to meet Javi’s broad body looming over his. While you were full of rage and on the verge of trying to punch Paul’s teeth in, Javi had let go of his grasp with a look like he was ready to kill as he stepped towards Paul, jaw clenched and fist drawn as his grip on Paul’s jersey shifted from his back to under his neck, the fabric balled tight in his hands as he pulled Paul towards him. 

“Don’t you ever fucking talk about my future wife like that again or I’ll fucking kill you, you understand?” Javi threatened, his voice low and ominous as he drew Paul closer to his face, making sure he heard every word coming through the snarl of his gritted teeth. 

Oh. 

Oh. 

Javi knew you had no problem standing up for yourself. He knew you probably could have taken Paul down yourself if he’d let you go at him. But if there was one thing Javi knew for god damn sure, it was that he wasn’t above beating the shit out of anyone who threatened to even look at you the wrong way, let alone deliberately insult you. Just as well as he knew that, you also knew that Javi wasn’t the type to get in pissing matches with other guys just to assert his dominance. 

But the way he had stormed after Paul with no hesitation, hoisting him up by the collar of his shirt and threatening him with the dangerous rumble looming in his voice had the pounding in your chest quickly fading from anger to arousal at the way Javi’s instincts had gone into overdrive to protect you- and that, that was something you were not expecting to make you as hot and bothered as it was. 

“Jesus, okay man, okay!” Paul moaned, preemptively flinching and wincing his face as Javi leaned in towards him before letting him go and shoving him down, making him stumble as he tried to regain his balance. You would have thought that would have been plenty to get Paul to run off, tail tucked between his legs in embarrassment, but you had forgotten what a wonderfully delightful douchebag your ex was, always needing to get in the last word in any argument just to prove a point. “Fuckin’ have her man. Good fuckin’ riddance, bitch.” 

And just like that, without a second thought, without even a hesitation, hearing Paul mumble that last sentence under his breath was enough to have Javi’s hand balled in a fist, immediately winding up to punch Paul square in the face, instantly knocking him to the cold, hard cement of the arena floor in a sobbing, whimpering heap. 

Taking a step back to shake out his hand and admire the pitiful mess Paul had become, Javi let the slightest smirk slide across his face before immediately turning back to you, gently cupping your face, melting you with his sweet brown eyes filled with concern- A stark contrast from his stone cold demeanor only moments ago. “Are you okay, Hermosa?” 

“Are you okay? Javi… holy shit.” Grabbing Javi’s hand from the side of your face, pulling it down to examine his red knuckles, you darted your eyes back and forth between him and Paul, still writhing on the ground, blood dripping down his nose. You couldn’t help but feel your eyes go wide, butterflies swirling in your stomach as a tiny grin curled between your lips looking down at what Javi had done to your ex. You had never seen Javi get aggressive like this, and despite everything you’d ever thought about not needing a man to come swoop in and save you, it was taking everything in you not to pounce on him right then and there by how turned on you were by the fact he had just easily decked Paul to the ground in your defense. 

“Fuck you, motherfucker, I think you broke my nose!” Paul whimpered, wiping away blood with the back of his hand, trying to press himself back up to stand. “Security!” 

“Don’t even bother. We’re leaving. Fuck you too, Paul.” You scoffed, grabbing Javi’s hand as you tugged him away, proudly flipping Paul off as you passed by, pushing your way through the small audience that had formed around you from your tussle, several people giving you and Javi silent nods of approval after watching what had happened. Once you had dragged Javi far enough away, he paused, stopping in his tracks, forcing you to turn back towards him. 

“Osita. Baby, fuck, I’m so sorry. I don’t want us to have to leave because of me, we came all this way to watch the game and I, fuck- I don’t- I don’t know what got into me, but there was no way I was gonna fucking let him talk to you like that, I-” 

“Javi. That was the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. I don’t care if the Blackhawks win, I don’t care if they lose, I don’t care if we get blown out 75-0, if you don’t take me back to our hotel room and fuck me right now, I’m gonna lose my goddamn mind.” Taking a few steps back where Javi had froze, you placed your hands on his chest, grabbing two big fist fulls of his jersey before pressing up on your tiptoes to plant a hot, wet kiss on his lips, biting down on your lip and raising an eyebrow at him as you pulled back. 

“Fuck, okay. Hermosa, are you sure?” Javi smirked, gently brushing away a stray piece of hair from your face, resting his hand around your jaw. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been so sure of anything. Take me back to our room and fuck the shit out of me, Javier Peña.”

It was then Javi’s turn to drag you off through the arena, immediately grabbing your hand and working through the crowd, practically running back to your hotel, your limbs immediately intertangling the moment you found yourselves alone in the elevator. Your hands ran along each other’s bodies, your kisses frantic and desperate down the empty hallway to your room, Javi barely able to pull away for long enough to tug his room key out of his pocket. Your back was pressed against the door, trapped under Javi’s body towering over you as he finally was able to slide the card in the door, the pressure of your weight pushing against it forcing it open as it unlocked. 

Your hands roamed needily as your mouths met with an electric intensity, stumbling towards the bed with faltering steps before your back hit the plush mattress, Javi leaning over you with hands planted on either side of your head, his kisses now trailing from your lips to your neck, sucking and nipping at your pulse point as his hands slid under your shirt, palming at your bra and digging his fingertips into your soft flesh. Your hands began to roam too, traveling from the tight grip they had around Javi’s jersey as you pulled him closer to you towards his jeans, reaching out to tug at the denim waistband before feeling Javi’s grip wrap around your wrist, pulling both hands above your head and pinning them to the mattress under the width of his broad grasp. 

“Nuh uh, Hermosa.” Javi tutted, a devilish smirk growing across his face as his eyes darkened, squeezing your wrists in his hand, arms still raised over you. He dipped his head down, placing slow, tender kisses along your collarbone before working his way up your neck and jaw, catching the breaths of your moans in his mouth as his lips pressed against yours. “You’re gonna be a good girl and let me make you cum as many times as I want first, understand? This pussy’s all fucking mine.” 

Oh fuck. 

You could feel your stomach swirl with arousal from the growl in Javi’s voice, his words sending a shiver down your spine, eyes wide as you quietly nodded in agreement. Javi was a lot of things when the two of you fucked- tender, attentive, god, even when you wanted him to be rough with you, you could tell there was a part of him that always held back, because the thought of ever doing something that would come even close to hurting you was something he would never do. But the tone of his voice was something that you had never heard from him before- it was demanding, possessive, and holy fuck did it turn you on way more than you would have ever expected it to. 

Barely getting out any coherent verbal response to coincide with your head shaking in compliance, Javi let go of your wrists, standing back up, his body hovering over yours at the edge of the bed. “Good girl. Take your clothes off, baby.” Javi rasped, taking a step back to watch as you sat up, quickly pulling off your jersey and crewneck underneath before working your way down to your jeans, shuffling them down your legs and kicking them off your feet, leaving you in your bra and underwear, frantically trying to shed them too before Javi stopped you again, tilting your chin up towards him as his thumb traced along your jawline. He looked you up and down, his smirk widening across his face at the cute matching bra and panty set you had worn, knowing it was one of his favorites and that he’d enjoy your little surprise. “You wear this for me, Hermosa?” Javi asked, his thumb now gently dragging down your bottom lip as he bit down on his own. 

“Mhmmmm.” You grinned, giving him a little wink, scooting yourself closer towards the edge of the bed to try and grab at his jersey and pull him close enough to work your hands under and run them along his stomach, sneaking them down to unbutton his jeans. You had only outstretched your arms halfway before his hand was around your wrist again, shaking his head in a playful disapproval. 

“So needy. What did I say, baby? Not until I say so, remember? Needy girls still have to be patient, don’t they?” Dropping your wrist, Javi turned around, taking a few steps back before bending down to unzip his suitcase by the end of the bed, shuffling around through his clothes before pulling out the blue and gold tie you had gotten him for his birthday and had worn to work earlier this morning. You cocked your head to the side as you watched him rummage through his clothes, your face still slightly confused when the only thing he pulled out was his tie, until your brain quickly put two and two together. “Maybe this will help you remember. Give me your hands.” Javi paused for a moment, his demeanor shifting back to the sweet and soft man you usually got in the bedroom, his puppy dog eyes staring at you for approval as he quietly mouthed “Is this okay?” to you as he ran his hand up and down the length of his tie. Fuck, did you love this man. 

Your jaw hung open in delighted shock, his suggestion going straight to your pussy, your underwear already soaked from the thought of what he was about to do. Feverishly, you nodded, sticking out your hands, wrists pressed together in front of you for Javi, smirking up at him with heavy lashes. 

“If it’s too much, or you want me to stop, just-” 

“I know. Do your worst, Peña.” 

With that, Javi’s sweet facade quickly shifted, taking the silky fabric of his tie and knotting it around your wrists, making sure to leave enough room to keep you comfortable as he wrapped his hands around your hips, picking you up to scoot you further back on the bed, caging his body over yours. He palmed at your bra, freeing your breast to roll your pebbled nipples between his fingers, the sensation making you writhe and moan beneath him, and he hadn’t even touched anything below your waist. 

“So fucking pretty. Wearing this just for me, knowing I’m the only one who gets to see you like this, that no other man gets to have you like I have you.” His words were hot and heavy against your skin, making your breath hitch as his hand slid down your soft skin, snaking under the waistband of your underwear and running two fingers through your folds, dripping with your arousal. “Knowing that I’m the only one who makes you wet like this. Why is that, sweet girl? Whose pussy is this?” Javi mewled, dragging his fingers along your slit, collecting the slick pooling between your legs, watching you squirm under his touch. 

“It’s yours Javi. Fuck- Fuck baby, it’s all yours.” You whined as Javi’s now soaked fingers snuck out of your panties, bringing them to your mouth. 

“Suck.” He grinned, watching you open your mouth, swirling your tongue around the tangy taste lingering on his digits. “That’s right it is. All mine, forever.” Pulling his hand back, he replaced it with his mouth, crashing into you, his tongue swiping along your bottom lip with a passionate ferocity before sliding down your body, bringing himself face to face with the delicate lace covering your dripping heat. Hooking his fingers around the waistband, he slid your underwear down your legs, gently kissing around your thighs, already fighting against the silky fabric tied around your wrists, trying to reach down to tug the dark curls of his hair and pull him closer to you. His kisses traveled closer and closer to your core, his nose barely brushing your clit, making you moan. 

“Javi… Baby, please.” You whined, wiggling your bottom half against the cool, crisp sheets, needing for Javi to touch you, taste you, do something besides tease you like this. 

“Please what, Osita? Words, baby.” Javi smirked, slowly inching his way towards your center, wrapping his arms around your legs, gripping them in place. 

“Touch me, eat me out, fuck me, anything, fuck- please, please, I-” 

Before you could plead anymore, you gasped, feeling the broad stroke of Javi’s firm tongue pressing against your throbbing clit, finally easing some of the ache of how worked up you had been since the moment you had watched him knock Paul to the ground. Unlike just moments ago, Javi began lapping you up like a man starved, feverishly flicking his tongue along your sensitive bundle of nerves, the pattern of his movements making you buck your hips towards his face, fighting against his strong arms holding you in place. 

Latching his lips, he sucked at your clit, the newfound sensation making the tingle at the base of your spine already begin to grow, the inside of your thighs covered with the shiny slick of your arousal and Javi’s saliva as he worked ferociously at your heat. Your whimpers and groans became more and more labored, an all too familiar creeping sensation sliding up your legs and building in your belly with each movement of his mouth. Your heart began to pound and vision started to blur, arms tugging at the tie placed around your wrists as you felt your orgasm form.

“Oh fuck, fuck Javi. Right there baby, holy shit- fuck, I’m so close, I- I- Wa- wait, wait, what?” Only moments away from feeling pleasure rush though your body, you were left breathless and shocked to feel Javi jerk his mouth away, looking up at you with lust filled eyes and a satisfied grin, opposed to your confusion. “Javi, what? Baby, I was about to-” 

“You don’t cum until I say so. Be a good girl and ask nicely and maybe I’ll let you. Try again.” Javi replied, cocking his head and raising an eyebrow at you, smug smirk still stretched across his face. 

You could almost hear the gulp traveling down your throat as your jaw hung open, your breathing heavy and low, watching Javi watch you, patiently waiting for you to follow his request. “Please let me cum, Javi. Please baby, please, I need you to make me cum so badly.” 

“That’s more like it.” 

Diving back between your legs, Javi drank you up, his tongue quickly accompanied by two of his thick fingers, easily pushing into your entrance and bumping the soft, spongy spot inside you. You could feel your pussy begin to flutter, already so close before Javi had left you on edge, now finding yourself even closer with his fingers curled deliciously in your hilt. Again, the coil in your belly began to tighten, Javi’s fingertips digging into the soft flesh of your thighs, holding you down on the bed. 

“Fuck, Javi. Don’t stop. Please, baby, please- shit- please let me cum, I’m so close, I’m so clo-ahhhhhhh.” Relief and euphoria flooded through your veins as your orgasm crashed over you, expletives and Javi’s name rolling off your tongue as you reached your high. But instead of letting you come back down, Javi’s mouth stayed pressed against your cunt, his hand still thrusting in and out of your heat as you clenched around his fingers, now realizing he wasn’t about to ease up any time soon. 

You could feel your legs trembling as Javi relentlessly licked and sucked, his fingers fucking into at an unforgiving pace, making your moans and whimpers even louder as squirmed, desprate to grab on to something while your hands fought against the buttery softness of his tie wrapped around your wrists. Already so worked up, it didn’t take you long to feel your second orgasm building, making you cum even harder than you had just moments ago, crying out as you gushed again around Javi’s fingers, the sweet sensation almost becoming too much with how feverishly he had been working to make you cum again. Finally, Javi detached his mouth, his chin and mustache glistening with your slick, a sly smile and lustful look in his eyes as his fingers stayed curled in your cunt, the lewd noises of your wetness coating the walls as he pushed against your g-spot. Your breath hitched, legs shaking as held you down with his free arm, draped across your stomach while you writhed under him. 

“Baby, it’s so much, fuck- I don’t think I can cum again, please, I-” 

“First you're begging me to let you cum, now you want me to stop? Don’t get to have it both ways, Osita.” Javi tutted, only intensifying the pace of his fingers curling inside you. “I’m making you cum as many times as I want, remember? You’re gonna give me one more on my fingers and then that pretty little pussy is gonna soak my cock while I fuck you, okay?” You were so worked up you could barely think straight, your clit still throbbing and cunt clenching around Javi’s hand, mind going blank as he hit the spot inside you that had you seeing stars. “Answer me, baby. Tell me what you’re gonna do?” 

It took every ounce of brain power to try and find any way to respond, your head nodding frantically while you babbled. “I’m gonna cum again, please, please I will.” 

“That’s my good girl. God, you’re so fucking tight. Give me one more baby, I know you can. I can feel how close you are.” With only the lightest press of his thumb on your clit, you could feel yourself on the edge again, only needing a few more thrusts of his fingers before you were crying out again, tears welling in your eyes from how hard you came, every inch of your body feeling spent as Javi finally pulled out his hand, absolutely drenched in your arousal, bringing it to his mouth and sucking the juices clean, pridefully watching you sprawled out and spent on the bed. “Tastes so fucking sweet. Did so good for me, Hermosa.” He mewled, coming up to kiss you, the tangy taste of your arousal still lingering on his lips. “Bet that fucking asshole Paul could ever make you cum like that, huh? No one else gets to make you feel this good, isn’t that right, baby?” 

“Jesus Christ, no. No one’s ever made me feel like you do. You make me feel so good, Javi.” Javi’s mouth caught your moans in his as he pinned your tied arms above your head, nipping at your neck as he used his free hand to begin to work at his jeans, quickly unbuckling his belt and shuffling his pants and boxers down his legs. 

“Bet none of them could ever fuck you like I do either. Only your future husband gets to have you like this.” Javi freed his other hand, reaching over his back to tug his jersey over his head, leaving him just as bare as you. Grabbing your hips, Javi lifted you up, turning you over so your stomach lay flat on the bed with your arms splayed in front of you, guiding your lower half so you were on your knees, ass up on display for him. His hands kneaded at the soft flesh before reaching down to guide the tip of his painfully hard cock through your folds, collecting your slick as he lined himself up with your entrance. “Only one who gets to see that pretty pussy dripping just for me.” He smirked, headfully pushing his length deep inside your cunt, his tip kissing your cervix as he bottomed out, digging his fingertips into your hips as he pulled you back towards him, the stretch and fullness making you whimper. “Only one who gets to fill you up like this.” Slowly pulling back, he watched the shine of your arousal covering his cock before slamming back into you, repeating his methodical strokes. “Only one who gets to fuck a baby into you.” He grinned, his pace now quickening, planting a smack of his hand against your ass cheek, massaging the red mark it had left. You whined into the pillow, very much loud enough for Javi to hear, knowing damn well he had a way with words that made you lose your mind. “Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you, Hermosa? Getting you pregnant, carrying our baby so everyone knows you’re fucking mine?” 

“Yes, oh my god, fuck- yes.”

Javi was now pounding into you, his pace relentless as his length punched deep in your hilt, the angle he was fucking you letting you feel every inch of him splitting you open. Even with how full you felt, you couldn’t help but press your ass back into him, needing to feel all of him inside you. Reaching an arm underneath you, he thumbed at your clit, rubbing back and forth as his thrusts became more frantic and sloppy, knowing he wasn’t going to last much longer. You could feel your cunt beginning to clench around his cock, fisting at the bedsheets in front of you, desperate to grip at something while your hands were bound. 

“I know you’re close, Hermosa. Let go, baby. Cum all over cock before I fuck myself so deep inside you and fill you full of me.” You could feel your heart begin to race again, your vision going white with each frantic thrust, the coil in your belly tightening further and further, the sounds falling from your mouth almost borderline pornagraphic. For the fourth time tonight, the tingling in your legs and stomach had built to a breaking point, feeling your orgasm crash through you like a tidal wave, cumming so hard it felt like your soul was leaving your body. Knowing you had reached your high, Javi found himself chasing his own, each thrust more frantic than the last, his thighs slapping against your ass relentlessly as his words fell incoherently from his lips. 

“That’s it, sweet girl. Fuck, I’m close too. Mierda- God, you’re so fucking perfect. Tu eres mio para siempre. Mi amor, mi vida, fuck, te amo más de lo que las palabras pueden decir. (You’re mine forever. My love, my life, fuck, I love you more than words can say). Jesus, fuck- Oh fuck, Osita, fuck, I’m gonna cum too, I-” With a loud groan, Javi came deep inside you, spilling every last drop, coating your warm walls with his spend. Even after he had finished, Javi stayed buried in your cunt, watching the mix of your spend drip down your legs before slumping into you, his chest resting on your back as you melted into the mattress beneath him. The two of you laid there for a moment, your breaths rising and falling in sync, finally breaking the ragged silence with a little laugh to yourself, causing Javi to finally pull out so he could get a better look at you. “What’s so funny, Hermosa?” Javi chuckled, watching you roll over onto your back, revealing the blissed out grin stretched across your face. 

“Javi… that was so fucking hot. Holy fuck. Where the hell did that come from?” You giggled, playfully poking at him as he laid down next to you, reaching over to untie your hands and pull you in to rest your head on his bare chest. 

“It was okay? I don’t- I don’t know, I knew you told me Paul was a piece of shit, but seeing him treat you like that-It just set something off in me, I guess.” Javi sighed, almost reluctantly, gently stroking the ends of your hair as he held you, feeling a little embarrassed at how possessive he had gotten, knowing the perfectly capable and independent woman you were. 

“Was it okay? Javi, I never want to see Paul again, ever in my fucking life. That being said, if I get to watch you sock him in the face and then have you fuck me like that…” Your voice trailed, sarcastically snickering, giving Javi a little nudge as the two of you laughed. “You’ve done a lot of very hot things since I’ve met you, Javier Peña, but I do think knocking Paul out without hesitation is pretty high on the list. I am a little sad I didn’t get a swing in, but we’ll call it good.” 

“He fucking deserved it. No one gets to talk to you like that, ever. I know you don’t need me to protect you, and that you can handle things on your own, but I-” 

“Baby, I know that you know. I appreciate you saying that. It doesn’t change the fact that watching you get all protective over me was really fucking hot.” You smirked, pressing you hand against his chest to push yourself up, meeting your lips with his, running your hands through the dark curls at the nape of his neck. “And also…” Your grin grew wider as you reached down on the bed, picking up Javi’s tie, gently swinging it in your hands, “looks like we’re gonna have to get you some more ties, huh?” 

The two of you woke up the next morning, bodies intertwined together between the crisp hotel sheets, soft sunlight spilling into your window over the Dallas skyline. From the first night he had slept in your bed, you had come to learn there were few things in this world that you loved more than being wrapped in Javi’s arms, your sleepy bodies still warm and lazy as you curled closer between the sheets, feeling like there was no one else in that moment that existed besides the two of you. 

While you and Javi had plenty of lazy mornings together, something about being away for the weekend had both of you relishing in the syrupy slowness of your Saturday morning- sweet and soft sex tangled between your sheets, a long, hot shower where Javi insisted on letting you relax while he washed your hair, followed by curling up in the obnoxiously fluffy hotel robes while the two of you dried off, watching Sports Center and planning out the rest of your day. 

You had decided to spend your afternoon exploring downtown, starting off at a sandwich shop near your hotel, and while both of you agreed that your sandwiches were good, they were no Alejandro’s. You spent some time after at the Dallas Museum of Art, with equal time spent with you making sarcastic commentary about some of the more interesting paintings and sculptures, trying your best to make Javi laugh, and Javi admiring you admire the various pieces of art, thinking to himself that you were more beautiful than any picture or statue he could find inside.

After your tour through the museum, you and Javi meandered through some of the stores downtown, both of your favorites being the pastry shop with the most delicious cupcakes you had ever tasted in your entire life, and although you insisted you didn’t need to get any extras, Javi knew you well enough to know that you were going to want one later, and ordered two more to take back with you to the hotel. 

Since last night’s dinner had been more causal to try and make sure you got to the game on time, you had agreed to pick somewhere nicer to try for dinner tonight and then go out to a bar or two after for some drinks. While you were already enough of a chronic overpacker, trying to decide on an outfit for tonight had taken up the majority of the real estate in your suitcase, your options now spread out across the bed as you stood wrapped in your towel post-shower, contemplating what to wear. 

“You’ll look beautiful in anything, Hermosa.” Javi chuckled, standing behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, back pressed his chest as he rested his chin on your shoulder. 

“You’re sweet, Jav. I don’t know, I don’t wanna be too casual, but I don’t want to be too dressy either, can you just pick for me?” You sighed, gesturing to the variety of clothes piled on the mattress. 

“You sure you want me to pick?” Javi grinned, placing a soft kiss on the bare skin of your shoulder, giving you a little squeeze. 

“Yes, I’m sure, but I’m already 99.9% sure I know which one you’re gonna choose.” You giggled, crossing your arms over your chest as Javi made his way towards the bed, looking through his choices before he picked up a strappy, mid length black dress, raising an eyebrow at you and passing it off in your direction with a boyish smirk on his face. “Vegas wins again, Peña.” Outstretching your arm, you took the dress from his hands, playfully rolling your eyes at your correct prediction. 

“What, like you can blame me? You can pick out what I wear too, if you want. I’m gonna hop in the shower while you get ready and I’ll be out in a few.” Javi smiled, peppering ticklish kisses along your neck and collarbone, making you squeal and squirm to not even notice Javi’s hand reaching up to tug at your towel, making it drop to the floor and leaving you naked. 

“JAVI!” You shouted, watching Javi shrug his shoulders in satisfaction, giving you a wink as he headed into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. You shook your head, laughing to yourself as you threw the dress back on the bed, collecting your rejected outfits and tossing them back in your suitcase. You looked back over your shoulder, making sure the door was closed before pulling out the lingerie Javi had gotten you for Christmas that had been hidden underneath the rest of your clothes, quickly slipping it on to wear under your dress to surprise Javi with later. You shuffled on the dress that Javi had picked, giving yourself a onceover in the mirror before getting out the rest of your toiletries and makeup to finish getting ready. 

You had finished with your makeup by the time Javi had gotten out of the shower, finding yourself in the middle of curling your hair as Javi stepped out of the bathroom, wrapping a white, fluffy towel around his waist, stopping in his tracks as soon as he saw you. “Fuck me…” He whispered under his breath, still just loud enough for you to hear him and turn your head in his direction, blushing over the awestruck look on his face. “Jesus Christ, baby. Fuck, you’re so hot. I’m a lucky fucking man, god damn.” Javi smirked, sitting on the edge of the bed, watching you like a puppy with his chin resting in his hand. 

“Well, someone did a good job picking out the outfit.” You giggled, biting down on your lip at his reflection in the mirror. “I picked out some stuff if you want to wear any of it.” You nodded over to the other side of the bed, where you had set out a dark wash pair of jeans and a black long sleeved button up shirt. 

“Or…” Javi grinned, pushing himself off the edge of the bed to stand, grabbing a handful of your ass and resting his hands on your hips, “You can take your dress off and then we can both put clothes back on later.”

“Your offer is very tempting, but you made reservations for 7:30 and it’s 7:05, mister.” You sighed, turning around to face him, playfully poking his chest. “Believe me, there will be plenty of undressing when we get back. Now go get changed, ya goof.” 

Somehow, the two of you both managed to have enough willpower to make it to your dinner reservation on time, you finding yourself to be just as bad as Javi after watching him put on the outfit you’d chosen. While the two of you knew the restaurant was much nicer than the one you had picked yesterday for dinner, you didn’t realize it was going to be this nice. Not that Laredo didn't have suitable restaurants, but to say they had anything fancy was a bit of a stretch, and to say they had anything this fancy would have been an outright lie. The restaurant was dimly lit, decorated with contemporary fixtures, soft music playing in the background, the waitstaff even dressed to the nines as you approached the hostess at the front booth. 

“Hi, we should have a reservation for 2 at 7:30. Should be under Peña.” Javi smiled resting his hand on the small of your back under your jacket as the two watched the girl flip through her notebook looking for Javi’s name. 

“Perfect, I have you right here. Right this way, Mr. and Mrs. Peña.” She grinned, grabbing two menus and leading you through the restaurant. The grip of Javi’s hand on your back as you followed the hostess to your seats only tightened, hearing her accidental slip up. “Alright, we have you two sitting right here, and your waiter will be with you shortly!” Gesturing over to your table, your hostess set down the menus and was on her way, leaving Javi to immediately pull out your chair for you before setting into his. 

“Thanks, Mr. Peña.” You giggled, gently tapping his leg with your foot under the table. “We’re two for two this weekend with strangers assuming we’re married. Not that I’m mad about it.” 

“I feel like we are. I don’t know, I think of you as my wife already, I guess. I accidentally called you my wife at work the other week and the guys thought we got married without everyone knowing.” Javi shrugged, reaching across the table to grab your hand, gently rubbing his thumb over the ring on your hand. 

“We’ll call that one a happy accident. I think of you as my husband too, I don’t know, it kind of feels like we’re married, I guess it’s just a formality at this point. Only 4 more months.” You beamed, giving his hand a little squeeze before letting go to lift up the menu in front of you, your jaw dropping in shock as you read through the options. “Okay, I knew this place was gonna be nice, but 45 dollars for salmon? 60 for steak? Are they covered in gold dust and unicorn tears? I am many things, Javier Peña, but I am not worth a 60 dollar steak, let me tell you that.” You grimaced, now looking through the drink section, mumbling to yourself. “God, do they even have beer here?” Javi laughed, shaking his head as he picked up his own menu, browsing through his options. 

“Shut up, you dork. You’re more than worth a 60 dollar steak. Don’t worry about it, okay? You deserve to be taken to nice places like this, whether you agree with me or not. But my guess is no, that they are probably not serving Miller Lite here.” 

Despite your sticker shock for food prices, you and Javi had a great rest of your dinner, chatting about wedding and house planning, favorite things about your trip so far, and somehow ending in an argument about the best Star Wars movie after the two of you had a few drinks each in you. Knowing you wanted to go out to a bar or two after dinner, but having no idea where to go, you asked the waitress for her suggestions at favorite places, recommending a bar a block down the street, telling you it was one of the most popular places downtown at the moment. Given her rave review, you and Javi decided to give it a try, tipsily making your way down the street, still continuing your Star Wars argument the entire trip there. 

As you entered the bar, you were greeted with the overwhelming sound of loud, upbeat music blasting through the speakers on the dance floor and bright, flashing lights dancing above the crowd in the dark and packed room. “I guess she wasn’t kidding when she said this place was popular.” You half yelled in Javi’s ear, gesturing out to the crowd in front of you, neither of you realizing the atmosphere of the bar was a bit more club-like than either of you had expected. “I don’t think I’ve been to a place like this since college.” 

Javi’s grip tightened around your waist as several patrons brushed past you, drunkenly shouting along to the song playing over your voices. “We can go somewhere else if you want to, we don’t have to stay here, Hermosa.” 

“I don’t know, it looks like it could be fun. Looks like there’s a lot of people dancing,” you smirked, pointing over to the dance floor, “you really gonna pass up a chance to grind on me in public, Jav? I sure hope that answer isn’t no.” Taking a step back, you subtly pressed your ass into Javi’s crotch, making him let out a quiet groan before pulling away, turning around to face toward him and give him a little shrug. 

“Fuck me…” Javi muttered under his breath, an equally intrigued smirk spreading across his face as he looked down at you. “No way in hell I’m gonna say no to that, Hermosa.” 

“Then get a girl a drink and take me dancing, Peña.” Grabbing Javi’s hand, you tugged him towards the bar, following eagerly behind you through the crowd. Javi ordered both your drinks from one of the bartenders- a woman who seemed to spend a little to long for your liking touching Javi’s arm to get his attention when his whiskey and your gin and tonic were ready, flashing him a cute smile as Javi handed over the cash from his wallet to pay for your drinks. If you were any taller and able to see over the heads of the people standing in front of you at the bar, you really hoped she would have seen the scowl drawn across your face as you watched her try to flirt with Javi. Javi, seemingly oblivious to the interaction, handed your drink off to you as the two of you made your way to an empty booth on the side of the dance floor, taking a hefty sip before looking back up at Javi. “She seemed nice.” You grimaced, nodding back over towards the bar. Javi laughed, taking a sip of his own drink before setting it down on the table, raising an eyebrow at you. 

“Is someone jealous?” 

“No… She was just giving you the eyes, and held your arm way longer than I’m sure the average bartender does. I mean, she’s got good taste…” You grumbled, trying your best not to glare back over at the bar. Downing the rest of his drink in a large gulp, he slid his empty drink to the side, reaching out to grab your hand, squeezing it in his. He bit down on his lip, a lustful look pooling in his eyes as he watched you take another sip. 

“Why don’t you finish your drink and we’ll go give her something to be jealous of, hm?” 

Your eyes went wide at his response, slurping down the rest of your gin and tonic way faster than you probably should have before setting your empty cup next to his, walking around to the opposite side of the booth where Javi sat, grabbing two fist fulls of his shirt while you pulled him in for a long, tender kiss. “I like the sound of that.” 

Intertwining hands, you worked your way out to the dance floor, tangled between humid, hot bodies and the thumping of the bass to whatever upbeat pop song was blasting in the background in time with the flashing colorful lights beaming across the crowd. From the moment you found yourself deep enough in the mix of people, Javi’s hands were instantly all over you, working their way down your sides and landing on your hips, digging his fingertips into the fabric of your dress to turn you around so your ass was pressed against his jeans, grinding into the denim. At this point, the both of you had enough alcohol in your systems to not be concerned about anyone else around you, your hips rocking to the rhythm of the music, pressing your ass further into Javi’s crotch with each sway, only forcing his grip to tighten, feeling his bulge beginning to grow in his pants. Playing into the sensation building between both of you, you brought one of your arms up, reaching up to grab the hair at the nape of Javi’s neck, his curls feeling more defined from the sweat radiating off the dance floor. You could feel his head buried in your shoulder, feeling his hot breath against the sheen of your skin. 

“Jesus, you’re so fucking sexy, Osita. Feel what you do to me, baby? Bet if I reached down and felt that pretty little pussy she’d be dripping for me, too.” Javi rasped, letting his hands slide down your hips towards the front of your thighs. You weren’t sure what had gotten into you that had lowered your inhibitions so much- maybe it was the one too many gin and tonics, maybe it was the heat of the crowd moving to the music, maybe it was feeling how hard Javi was pressed against your ass just from dancing. Whatever it was, it was enough to have you turning around, throwing your arms around Javi’s shoulders, pressing up on your tiptoes to whisper in his ear. 

“Touch me and find out.” 

Your preposition had Javi’s jaw practically dropping to the floor, taking a moment to compose himself before looking back down at you to make sure he hadn’t misheard what you had said, but the lustful grin between your cheeks was all he needed to know he had heard you loud and clear. With one hand on your ass, the other snaked between your bodies, tugging up the hem of your dress, his palm gliding across the soft skin of your inner thighs before cupping your pussy, wetness pooling in the lacy fabric of your underwear, making his eyes grow even wider, not only from how wet you were, but from the feeling of his fingers grazing over your panties, knowing the texture meant you were wearing something out of the usual rotation, something you’d worn on purpose to get his attention. 

“Fucking soaked, sweet girl. Gonna let me take you back to our room and let me ruin those pretty panties even more? What’re you wearing under there, baby?” 

“Why don’t you take me back and see.” 

Yesterday, you were convinced you couldn’t have walked any faster back to your hotel room after the hockey game, but the pace at which you and Javi were speeding down the sidewalk had you questioning if your speed could even qualify as walking, not sprinting. Unlike your luck yesterday, you shared your elevator ride back up to your room with 2 other strangers, making the tension of your trip up to your floor almost palpable as you used every ounce of restraint from pouncing on Javi right there in the elevator. 

As soon as the door sprung open and no one was behind you, the two of you crashed down the hallway, once again fumbling with to find your room key, the added element of your tipsiness only making it more difficult. One way or another, your door unlocked, your bodies dancing in a tangled mess towards the bed, pausing for a moment as Javi’s open suitcase caught your attention out of the corner of your eye. Your brain spun for a moment, reeling with the memories of last night, a looming question now racing in your mind as you spotted Javi’s blue and gold tie peeking out of his bag. 

Would Javi let you tie him up?  

“You okay, Hermosa?” Javi asked, cocking his head in confusion as he watched you stare at his suitcase. You could see the wheels in his head turning, a lightbulb going off after a few moments, grabbing your chin and tilting it up towards him. “You want me to tie you up again, sweet girl?” He smirked, his voice low and gruff as he gripped around your jaw. Gently, you began shaking your head, Javi’s face immediately dropping in confusion, letting go of his grasp. 

“What if I told you…” You paused, grabbing his shirt and walking towards the bed, “I wanted to tell you what to do. See if you can be a good boy for me or maybe I’ll have to tie you up, too.” Giving Javi a little nudge, you pushed him to sit down on the bed, leaving you standing in front of him, rubbing your hands up and down the denim covering his thighs, watching your words go straight to his cock as his bulge strained against the zipper of his jeans, and a breathy moan escaped out of his mouth. Javi’s eyes went wide, jaw agape as his tongue darted out between his lips as you threw your leg over his lap, straddling his hips.

 “Is that okay?” You whispered, nipping at his ear, making him let out a low groan. He nodded softly in silent reassurance, almost too stunned to speak, slowly working his hands up your ass and thighs, trying to push up the hem of your dress. Grabbing his wrists, you stopped him in his tracks, pulling back slightly with a playfully scolding look on your face. “Nuh uh. I didn’t get to touch last time, you don’t get to touch me until I say.” 

“Fuck me…” Javi whispered under his breath, carefully drawing his hands back to rest on the edge of the bed, his eyes desperately filling with need and want. Reaching down, you tugged your dress over your head, revealing the cute, red and lacy lingerie set Javi had gotten you for Christmas. As if Javi’s jaw couldn’t have dropped any further, it was now practically through the floor, finding himself absolutely gawking at you in admiration. “Holy fuck.” Javi gulped, trying his best to keep any ounce of composure he still had. He couldn’t help but spring his hands towards you, running them up and down your sides and over the delicate fabric, left with utter shock and disappointment as you swung off his lap, standing at the edge of the bed with your arms crossed over your chest. 

“What did I just say, baby? Only good boys get to touch, remember?” A devilish smirk spread across your lips watching how flustered Javi had already become, biting down on his finger to try and relieve some of the tension of not being able to touch you. 

“I’ll be good, baby. I promise.” He groaned helplessly, staring up at you with pleading eyes. 

“I don’t know, Javi, seems like you’re having a hard time with pretty simple instructions.” You tutted, very purposefully bending down with your ass in his face to pick up the tie dangling from his suitcase. “Guess we’ll try one more time to see if you remember, but if you can’t, maybe this will help.” 

“You’re gonna fucking kill me, you know that?” Javi rasped, shaking his head, running his hand over his face. 

“You’re a big boy, you’ll be okay.” You winked, tossing his tie next to him before going back to straddling his lap, running your hands up and down his chest, slowly working your way down his shirt, one button at a time, planting a hot kiss on his skin with each new button that came undone. “Promise you’re gonna be good?” You smirked, tugging the shirt off his arms and letting it fall on the bed. 

“Promise.” He sighed, voice trembling, feeling the muscles in his body tense with your question. 

“Good.” You began grinding your hips in his, circling slowly over his painfully hard bulge, digging deeper and deeper with each sway of your hips. You slid your hands up his chest, into his hair, gently tugging at his dark curls as you rocked against him. You could tell how hard Javi was trying to control himself, breathing heavily and clenching his jaw as he watched you, the moans escaping from his mouth only becoming louder as you turned around, back pressed to his chest, sitting in his lap. You continued grinding your ass into Javi’s crotch, gently tugging at the straps of your bra and letting them fall from your shoulders, teasing him even further. Slipping your hands behind your back, you unclasped the hooks holding your top together, letting it drop to the floor in front of you, leaving Javi still only able to see your bare back knowing how crazy it would drive him that he couldn’t even see what he was missing, let alone touch. Still facing away, you bent down, sticking your ass towards his face, slowly shimmying the lacy red thong down your legs and letting it pool around your ankles. That was what broke him, his fingers digging into the plump skin making you shoot up and turn back around towards him.

 Reaching next to him on the bed, you picked up his tie in one hand, grabbing his wrists with the other, and gently began wrapping the buttery fabric around him. “So much for that, huh? Naughty boys have to learn to follow the rules, don’t they, baby?” You playfully pouted, batting your eyes at him. Good thing I can help teach you, hmmm?” With his hands sufficiently tied, you took your finger, poking his chest and pushing him over, gesturing for him to shuffle further up on to the bed, now laying flat on his back with his hands above his head. 

“Osita, please, baby, fuck- please.” Javi whined, his voice ragged and wanting as his brown eyes met with yours, watching you crawl up over him, your hands now working at his belt buckle. The metal clinked as you pushed his jeans down his hips before ever so gently tugging at the waistband of his boxers, already tented from his stiffness. 

“Please, what, sweet boy?” You cooed, pulling just enough to let his cock spring free, revealing how painfully hard he was, his tip dark red and leaking with precum that had stained his boxers. “God, you’ve got the most beautiful dick I’ve ever seen.” You mewled, barely grazing your fingertips over his bare thighs, making him shutter. 

“Osita, please. Please, baby. I need you to touch me, please.” Javi whimpered as you settled yourself on top of his legs, your hands now creeping towards his shaft. 

“That’s better. So handsome when you beg. Need me to take care of you? I’ll take care of you, baby.” You wrapped your hand around his cock, thumbing at the precum dripping out of his tip and rubbing it around his head before taking the same hand and running it through your folds, collecting the slick that had been rapidly pooling between your legs and using the mixture to stroke him. 

With a few pumps of your hand, you leaned over, letting the spit from your mouth drip down over his dick before bending your head down and letting your tongue graze his head. Your lips sucked around his tip, lazily working your way down his length, taking him inch by inch as you hollowed out your cheeks, nestling your nose in the curls of his hairs at his base, the musky scent of him filling your nose. You began bobbing your head, your mouth engulfing him with each rise and fall, looking up at him through heavy lashes, your eyes almost as wide as his as you watched him crumble under your touch. 

“Fuck, oh shit- Oh my god. Fuck, that feels so good baby, Jesus- fuck me.” Javi squeezed his eyes shut, his ramblings becoming more ragged and desperate with each word, almost embarrassed at how quickly he found himself feeling like he was going to fall apart. You could feel his cock beginning to pulse in the warmth of your mouth, only making you pick up your pace, feeling the saliva drool down the corners of your cheeks and tears welling in the corners of your eyes. “Fuck, baby, fuck, fuck- I’m close, I’m clo- wa- wait, fuck. Fuck, baby, no. Please.” Javi whined, his head popping up to look at you, your mouth hovering above his dick with a smirk on your face. 

“What?” You teased, gently massaging his sack in your hands, almost able to see the veins in his cock throbbing as you had left him on edge, unable to finish. “You only said you needed me to touch you. Never said anything about needing me to make you cum.” 

“Jesus Christ…” Javi groaned, resting his head back on the pillows behind him, staring up at the ceiling as he tried to catch his breath. Letting out another gulp and deep breath, he raised his head again, his big, brown eyes pleading with you with a ferocious need and longing. “Please, Osita. Please, make me cum. Please, I need you to.” 

“That’s more like it. Such a good boy, asking so nicely. I’ll let you cum, baby. But only if it’s inside me and you fill me up so good you’re dripping down my thighs.” You shuffled your body forward, letting your soaking heat graze over his cock, reaching down to line him up with your entrance. 

“I will. Please let me, I will. I’ll fuck myself so deep inside you you’ll be dripping out of me for days. Fuck, I wanna cum so deep in you, please, Osita. Please, baby.” Javi moaned, struggling against the silk tie wrapped around his wrists, giving anything to feel the soft skin of your body in his hands. 

“So needy, sweet boy.” You tutted, the both of you gasping as you sunk down on Javi’s length, his cock bumping against your cervix as you took every inch of him inside you, taking a moment to adjust to the sweet sting of his fullness. “Fuck, you feel so good, Javi. I love feeling you inside me. No one else fills me up like you do. You like knowing you’re the only one who can make me feel like this? The only one I want to fuck me? Marry me? Fuck as many babies as you want into me?” 

The groan Javi let out was low and deep, feeling your hands rest against his chest as your hips rolled back and forth, burying Javi’s cock deep inside the warm, wet walls of your cunt. “Fuck yes, oh fuck Osita. Shit- I can’t wait to marry you. I wanna be your husband. I wanna fuck a baby into you so badly, see you all beautiful and pregnant. I can’t wait to cum inside you knowing I could really knock you up. Fuck meeee.” Javi whimpered, bucking his hips up into you, his thrusts filling you in a way that had you absolutely reeling and breathless, your demeanor quickly beginning to crumble, becoming just as dire as him. 

The hairs at the base of Javi’s cock rubbed deliciously on your clit, the sensation of that, combined with how frantically you were rocking your hips back and forth had your heart racing, so worked up from trying to keep your cool that you could feel the tingle building at the base of your spine rapidly. You could tell Javi was close, too- The gritting of his teeth, the wild and wanting look in his sweet brown eyes, the sloppy pace of his dick pounding into you, all the tells you knew far too well to realize he was quickly about to come undone. The arousal pooling in your belly continued to build, the lewd noises of your wetness and mixed moans coating the walls of your hotel room as your fingers dug into the skin of Javi’s chest. 

“Fuck, fuck- I love you, Javi. Holy shit- I’m so close. I need you to fill me up, baby.” 

“I love you too, Hermosa. I’m not gonna last much longer either, so fucking wet and tight, oh my god- I’m gonna fill you up so good, baby. I promise, promise I’ll be a good boy and fuck every last drop in you.” 

In all the times you had fucked, you had never seen Javi turn into such a mess, watching him whimper and beg to with such desperation and neediness, barely hanging on by a thread from the moment you had walked through the doors of your hotel room, and god, it was the hottest thing you’d ever seen. You thought that you’d be strong enough to keep your composure, that while Javi fell apart, you would keep it together, but any prospects of that were long gone by now. 

The coil building in your belly snapped, screaming Javi’s name over and over again as your cunt clenched around his cock, feeling your orgasm flood your body with pleasure. You braced your hands on Javi’s chest as he quickly followed behind you, thrusting a few more times up into you before letting out a low, ragged groan as he spilled deep inside you, his warm spend coating your walls, making sure to milk himself of every last drop, as promised. You could feel the mixture of the both of you leaking down your legs into Javi’s lap as you sat on top of him, his dick still pulsing as your chests heaved in sync, squeezing your eyes tightly to try and bring yourself back to earth. With a few more deep breaths, you unstraddled Javi, the loss of him inside you making the both of you hiss, crawling up the bed to untie his hands and lay your head on him as he wrapped his newly freed arms around you. 

“Holy fuck…” Javi muttered under his breath, half laughing to himself as he ran his hand over his face before bringing it back down to stroke circles along the bare skin of your back. 

“Was that okay?” You questioned, almost timidly, looking up at his blissed out face. 

“Osita… Jesus Christ, that was fucking incredible. You’re sexy when you’re bossy.” He teased, tickling your ribs, making you squeal and squirm under his touch, peppering you with soft kisses while you swatted at him to make him stop. 

“Oh shut up, you dork.” You sighed, rolling your eyes at him, laying your head back down on his chest after finally getting him to torture you with his tickles. 

“I’m being serious, Hermosa. You know I think your confidence is so fucking sexy. You can boss me around any time.” 

“Any time?” You perked up, mischievous look glistening in your eyes. “So… if I told you to go get me that cupcake from earlier and bring it to me, you’d do it?” 

“I thought you said you didn’t need another one, bossy pants.” Javi smirked, staring back at you in complete and utter adoration. 

“Well, Javier Jesús Peña, turns out you know me better than I know myself. Sooooo… cupcake? Please?” You playfully pouted, batting your lashes at him. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” He laughed, pressing a soft kiss into your messy hair before letting out a sigh as he pushed himself out of the bed, nakedly wandering over to the shelf by your door where he had stashed the cupcakes earlier, bringing them over and climbing back into bed with you. 

“Thank you, you’re the best.” You giggled, giving him a little nudge as you took a big bite of the cupcake, letting out a content sigh. “On another positive note, I definitely think that we’ve given this hotel room a run for its money before we break in our one on the honeymoon in a few months.” 

“Well…” Javi grinned, gently kissing at your neck, up along your jawline, rubbing his hand up your thigh and circling his fingertips at the soft flesh, “A little extra practice never hurt anyone.”

Taglist:

@cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @milly-louise @dappydelta @blackfemalenerd

[fealy-writes]

" let's start a family together. "—taishi gotanda × fem!reader [headcanons]

• Honestly, this guy will do anything for his family. Trust me, he's responsible for everything.

• Yeahhhh basically he'll just be embarrassed when you find out that van is originally for him trying to search a marriage partner. But he ended up still single LMAOOOOO (Yes this is from chapter 148)

• BUT I SWEAR HE'LL BE A GOOD DAD. He dreams about you being his wife and you two having kids together!!! MAKES ME SO SICKKKK

• Wife pregnant? He's doing all the chores. No, no. Stay in that bed. Like I said, he'll do anything.

• I'm pretty sure he's gonna buy baby clothes or smth,,, why not his old ones goddamn

• Doesn't care about gender, what he cares about he finally has a child!!!

• When he arrived at the hospital, he couldn't help but looked at his newborn in awe. And then his mother bursting in lolololz!!! Proud grandma!!!

• While a break from shooting, he's gonna play with his kid. He either squish its cheeks, or bounce them up and down. Taishi is gonna fuckimg cry when he sees his kid taking its first step!!! PATHETIC OLD MAN !!!!!

• At home, he'll just cuddle you and you guys' kid together. kay why es

" but i cant help it,,, i still got to see them walk for the first time "

[sparkbugs]

Been thinking bout jrwi all day it’s finally time to watch ep 104. liveblog under the cut!!

So I actually watched the intro (well Bizly’s song of the intro) at 5 am and it’s been stuck in my head ever since! Good song, really wish it was on other platforms to listen to :(

(I can’t believe I’ve “caught up” so fast) ((I’ve been binge watching episodes instead of sleeping so oops!))

Ooo Grizz got white/silver hair :o it looks so nice!!

Haha! Corruption! That sounds so good haha!! Land is going to be worse I feel but ok guys

FUCK THE FUCKING COMPASS. Chip please get rid of it please mannnnn

CORRUPTION SCORE?!? Fuck. Haha that’s a great mechanic! Terrified to see how it works out. Haha how the fuck do you get rid of your corruption points. Grizzly what the fuck /pos this is terrifying and for good reason

(I love getting ads for one piece during this campaign (I haven’t watched one piece))

God they’re all gonna die man I’m so worried godddddd

Ayo Chip calm down man jeez- QUEEN LMAOOOOO

Jay don’t fucking DRINK THE BLACK SEA.

Broken heart island :o OOOO THE TREE :o save the treeeeeee. This is the tree May Ferin draws her power from no?? Save it guys you got this- Oh shit this island is HUGE huge. Ok then

Oh I feel like burning (the tree branches in the way) will go so poorly oh god oh no. Oh… never mind then??

Alphonse ship :) hope they make him a new body that’s not a ship so he can do the things he wants too-

Yeah I think it’s an illusion maybe?? Oh it’s. Not wtf is it the hell. “We should pull up?- we should pull up” yea gillion pull up

LMAO CONTESTED DEX ROLLS AND GILLION WON??? Rip chip

Aw village :( god it would suck if they go by Gryffon (Gryffin? Gryffen??)’s home town :(

“Chip! while the tree is distracted!!” Gillion never change <3

God damn it. “Our specialty: subtle” please. You’re not being subtle and you knew that but god y’all gonna die.

Fyck here they come- “hostile mobs inbound” they’re not gonna be friendly. There’s no way there’s anyone in sane mind around here man. LMAO THEY THREW A ROCK AT HIM AHDJDHSK

Minor illusion to make sounds behind them as they go by that would be kinda smart methinks maybe but! They’re also. Out of magic almost so maybe not hm-

Yeah it’s not safer on land at fucking all man Jesus- Gillion don’t fucking go on land alone I swear to god

They need to rest so fucking badly man shitttt this is so fuckeddddd this is not gonna go welllll aaaaaaaaaa

Nightmare nightmare nightmare nightmare /ref

Man I wonder what this place looked like before the Black Sea :( it must’ve been so pretty

Ichor webs! Haha!! Not dangerous or foreboding at all

(In the tone of “the claw from Toy Story”) The Treeeee…

Aw Gryffon :( mannnn i love weeping willows I love pink cherry trees this is such a good tree I agree gillion go save it

The thumbnail is sick btw I don’t think I mentioned that, amazing colors.. I wanna eat the art /pos

God please do Not Split Up for the love of god… STOP FIGHTING YOURE GONNA ATTRACT THE BADDIES OH MH GODDD..:. Aaaaaaaaa DONT SPLIT UPPPP FUCKKK EVERYONE GO TOGETHERRRR the old men on the ship are gonna die :(

“Leave no tres” that’s amazinf holy shit “leave no cinco” is also good

“Do you guys think the tree has chicken??” ????? Chip??????

YEA JAYS THINKING ABOUT THE NOISE THING YEAAAAA the noise attracts them?? I hope. I fuckin hope. Zombie game in the pirate campaign

Hahaaa uh ohhhh… uhh ohhhhh (the uh ohs from tattletail when they get low battery) uhhh. Oooohhhhh…

CONSTRUCT??? A GOOD LIVING THING?? SOMETHING GOOD. OMG IRON GOLEM LIKE MINECRAF.

Just realizing this episode is filmed after Genloss cause of the painting in the back of Charlie’s room. Damn- IS THAG A PRETZEL PLUSHIE IN CONDIS ROOM??

MINECRAF GOLEM YEAAAA HEHEHE… oh chip wtf man :( he didn’t ask for his home to be corrupted :( thisbis a friend I’ve decided I want to keep him

Oh. A rose :D he’s such minecraf moment he’s asking to be friends- aw :( rose died. MARBLE!!! THATS A FRIEND I LOVE THEMMMM

I’ve decided I would die for Marble <3

Oh shit. The black rose!! AAAA GUYS STOP OVER THE FUCKIN TREE. Oh. Black rose pirates. Black Sea. Uhmmmm. Uhmmmmmmmmmmm there’s a connection here I’m missing besides the tragedy of The Hole in the Sea but. Somethings wrongggg mannnn

Mhm totally different gillion totally not the same.

Chip :( aw nooooo :( the memory aaggagshhaaaaa OHHHH HE WAS THERE AS A KID IM SO NORMALLL

Midroll baybeeeee honey time lesgo (Bizly stop ripping your pants)

ISNT IT THE SAME TREE? Was I wrong. WHAT. Ohh it’s in all port isn’t it . Shit

STOPPP RUNNING THROUGH THE PLACE PLEASE

marble :D

STOP RUNNINGGG… bean shape… creechur

KENKU SAVE THEMMMM OHHHG THATS A FRIEND. I too got the impression they were ignoring the party but if it does notice them. I’ll cry

Kenku friend :( save themmmm YEAAA SAVE BIRD

NOOOO WTF A TURTLE FRIEND NEEDS TO SAVE FHEM NOW TOO FUCKKK

Uh oh. Beetle guy uh oh. OH IT HAS A CUTE VOICE. Oh nos

“That’s mine.” “… Nuh uh-“ *gets flattened by hammer*

NOT A DEX SAVE FUCK- oh thank god good job gillion

Man them yawning makes me yawn wtf.

GILLIONNNNNN DONT SAY THATTTT SHHHH

Hollow knight boss lookin ass mf /pos

Kenku friend :D also grizz lookin majestic while beating the shit outta the team

Oh. My god. “You win! Im sorry” im. This is going bad

“Im on team you can just walk out, you can leave” I love jay so much

“Queen, play despacido” i hate it here- Bruno mars canon in mana??

Tortle friend and Kenku friend :D

… oh fuck. OH FUCK WHY DOES IT MOVE SO FAST

80 POINTS ?!?!!! Oh thank god. Fuck man that would’ve been insane

JAY NOO DONT CAGE THE BIRD >:( GET HER OUT THE NET

Jay is so me “I don’t wanna be dealing with this guy right now” yea me too man

Of course he gets two natural 1s in a row rip Charlie slimecicle

“EYE POWER ACTIVATE” CONDI LMAOOOOO AHSHDIDHS

THE FUCKING MIRROR HELPPPPPPPPPP HAHAHAAAA JAY NOOO

Put the big bug guy in the mirror :) catch like a Pokémon NOOOO JAYYYY . Well. Chip please get her she’s in the mirror helpp

Gillion is the Lorax moment.

GILLION NOOOOO FUCKK AWHWHDISBA FISH BOY. A FAIL ON A DEATBSAVE TOO FAURKSHAAHA this is so fine. This is soooo fine haha. This is so fineeee. Grizz realizing how bad this is,, is me right now it’s so fine thoughhhh

GILLON. Fuck that tree mannnn. CHIP GRAB THE FUCKING MIRROR. CHIP. YOU FUCKINGGNGGHDJDHSIHA HOWWWW THIS IS SO FUCKED UPOPP AAAAA IM SO SCAREDDD

GRYFFON GOOOOOOOOOO GET THEY ASS COME ONNNNNNNNN GET THEMM.

In. Frared? Infrawered?? GRIZZLY you good?

Gryffon beat they ass mannn aahdjdhdoaua

CHIP. Thank god. “YOU ALL SMELL LIKE GOOD VESSELS” ?!?!??!? HELLOOOOOO

Gillionnnnnaaaaa my boy :( my fish mannnn also GET JAY PLEASE? Didn’t chip grab the fucking mirror why hasn’t he freed her

…. Treeeeeeeeeeeeeee ….

CHIP YOURE FONNA LEAVE YOUR CREW??? . Gillion. God. Damn it gillion. Aw Kenku :( Kenku friend trying to help Gill :( that’s a friend

Gillion. Pleaseeeeeeeeee fucking hell man. He’s dead AGAINNNNNNN

AWWWW BIRD BIRD TRYINF TO PROTECT GILLION NOOOOOOO BIRD BIRD :( THATS A FRIENDDDD PROTECT HER

“Do we really wanna risk our lives over this random bird?!?” “YES!!!” YEA GILLIONNNNN GET HER >:( JAYGET HER OR ILL FUCKIFN YELL >:(

NIOOOOO BIRD BIRDDDFD LET HER GO YOU BASTARD

PLEASEEEEEEE BIRD BIRD :( I’m so sad

GILLIONNNN AAAGSJDHDSHDJSHS IM SO SCAREDDDD IM SO FUCKIFNHFDISHSKA

Let her out >:( Charlie is so distraught over bird bird me too mannnn

GILLION. Grow big and make bird bird big :D BREAK BIRD BIRD OUR THE CAGE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO that’s a friend :D

Uh. Ohhggg… uh ohhhhh (tattletail uh ohs again)

Uh oh he’s not sleepy anymore. Uh oh. Im so fucking scared

Bird bird better not fuckinf die I love her so much

Corruption. Point. Uh oh.

noc? Knock? Kenku friend :D

NOOOOOOOOOOO BIRD BIRD IM GONNA CRY LET HER BE OKAY

Size coin… come on it better go well. LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO

This is some power ranger like mecha battle shit power up thing idk how to explain it. (Gillion growing giant and fighting this bitch)

(It’s almost 1 am I’ve been awake too long but I need to finish this episode)

Murder bug guy :D riptide pirates the crew that gets into everyone else’s shit

Uh oh. Gillion goes down again I’m gonna. Lose my mind. Oh my god they’re gonna attract so much trouble with the noise when they fall fucking hell

I totally missed jay leaving the mirror btw she’s 60 ft away but like where??? How???

YEAAA JAY AND GRYFFON SHOOT TO KILL. MURDERRRRR

INFAWRARD LAZER BEAM CANON!!!!!!

You. Tortle. MURDERRR HDJXHSJS HAHAHA GOOD JOB CHIP. NOOOO I KNEW ITTTT THEY WERE ATTRACTING ATTENTION FUCK

“Im gonna start drinking” me fucking too gillion damn.

Good episode, fishman is still down im worried, he went down three times Jesus fuck, also! I knew they were gonna attract attention from zombie ichor guys… debating on watching ep 105 as well before sleeping but we’ll see :)

[macchiatosdumptruck]

Lmaooooo. I never thought about it. Kreese faking his death as a defense mechanism. Excuse to get out of parties. Passive aggressive attention seeking. In Lakreese it'd be something Daniel puts up with more than in canon.

Daniel: "John, it's just a checkup. Quit being a baby. You can't do this here, you'll end up with a tag on your toe!"

Daniel: "I'm not going to that baby shower alone!!"

Daniel: "Oh, uh, thank you for the condolences. He got better..."

It's so funny he calls Daniel the Prima Donna given he has cardboard cut outs of himself and can fake his death with jello.

--

John really doesn't want to go to the baby shower. He had gone to Daniel's, and that was only because Daniel was his mate. He never knew what to do at things like this. There were always dumb games and chatty women drinking watered down rose.

He would just stand politely still, his hands in his pockets as he tries not to give everyone murder eyes.

"can't we just send them our present in the mail?" He asks Daniel, sitting on the couch dejectedly drinking his beer.

"Because we're not animals in this house Jawhn."

John doesn't really have friends. He never was very good at making them. He had Terry, but even then that was... Complicated. Daniel was much better at making friends, but he still didn't have as many as he should.

What they were invited to now, was a baby shower for one of John's co-workers. His name was Chris Something, sometimes when John would tag along to the bar after work he would sit next to John in companionable silence.

They had gotten the couple a onesie for one, three, and six months old, knowing how fast they grew when they were "fresh out of the oven."

Besides why should they give their time and money to some other couple when they have one on the way as well?

--

Re: the doctor

John just refuses to go.

He's lived this long on his own after all. He don't need no fancy shmancy modern medicine. Rub some dirt in it and it'll be fine.

Daniel gets him so far in, maybe under the impression that they're there for Daniel and the pup he's carrying, only for John to remember that Daniel just had his check up last week.

He stops in his tracks, sits down suddenly in one of the chairs in the hallway. He becomes dead weight.

"Jahwn!"

A nurse passes by as John does his best impersonation of a fainting goat. Daniel smiles good naturedly at them.

"He's fine. He's just being a bit dramatic."

"big manly man and you're afraid of some needles, it doesn't make sense. "

The nurse is frankly far too busy to care.

--

Sidenote: can't get over how stereotypically alpha Kreese would look with all that body hair and that jawline. I imagine that when people learn Daniel's first pregnancy was the 1% birth control failure they just go "yep. That makes sense."

--

Daniel: losing John has been hard. Sometimes I swear I can still hear his voice. 😔

John, from the other room: stop telling people I'm dead!

[whxre4hange]

aot characters + bubble tea headcanons :D

eren

i can’t really imagine him liking it

he probably stole a few sips from mikasa

secondhand kisses from straws trope :D

“why are there soggy little balls floating in my drink????”

LMAOOOOO IM NOT GONNA MAKE THAT INTO A DIRTY JOKE I SWEAR

mikasa

brown sugar latte + pearls 

also caramel milk tea with pearls

goes for the classic flavours that everyone likes

is vvv safe with her orders, doesn’t choose anything outlandish :D

shares with eren :D

armin

probably chooses drinks that only older asian parents get

always 25% sugar and 25% ice

healthy icon >:D

i would hazard a guess at taro milk tea with pearls as his favourite flavour :D

doesnt drink it often, its probably like a treat type thing

jean

this lanky manchild chooses the most childlish flavours

mango lemon smoothie with popping pearls please! 

the 5 year old kid with the exact same order: O-O

connie

CONNIE IS IN A COMPETITION WITH JEAN: WHO CAN CHOOSE THE MOST CHILDLISH FLAVOUR? FIND OUT IN ATTACK ON BOBA!

sparkling strawberry yakult smoothie with 5 helpings of grape popping balls

shit that sounds really good tho-

marco

the third competitor in the immature boba tea flavour context

and somehow he wins

you know those tiktoks where people only order toppings and nothing else?

thats him

but he gets those toppings

orders a maccas ice cream (if the machine isnt broken)

and he pours the ice cream into the toppings

….and then adds macdonalds nuggets

NOM NOM CRUNCH CRUNCH BIIITCH

no one can tell if he genuinely likes it or if hes just tryna out-gross the bois

sasha

bro boba is pricy af

sasha ain’t paying for it 

(she steals it off connie and jean and marco)

a boba menace !!!!

^ that was my nickname in high school

kidding

or am i? 

has a whole ass notes page in her phone rating all of the different flavours 

ranks them all in the most chaotic way possible

in the end, she’d much prefer a proper meal to boba

but she won’t say no to boba everrr

levi

sike u thought

u think this man would ever TOUCH something that, in his words, were a ‘blasphemy’ to the art of tea? 

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA

but does he steal hanji’s just for a teensy little taste?

yeah

poor levi…

hanji

speaking of which

hanji has made it her personal mission to taste every single flavour of boba

with every single topping combination there is in mankind

boba is a lifestyle, not a drink - hanji 2021

her two favourites are lychee black tea with sakura (cherry blossom) jelly + plum green tea with rainbow jelly and black pearls

she always asks for extra sugar on top of the maximum sugar level

cue sugar-buzzed hanji :D 

erwin

i am so sorry in advance for this

at first i was gonna say smth like ‘oolong jasmine tea with black pearls’

something classic yknow

but i gave it further thought and just

he’s definitely choosing the most outlandish, childlish flavours thatll make any sane person puke

he’s the black horse in the ‘most immature boba flavour’ competition

may i please present erwin’s ‘trademark’: oreo yakult smoothie crush with orange flavoured popping balls?

im gagging as i write it but honestly it sounds like one of my period cravings so…yeah

edit: added historia + ymir 

@p4latinus for reminding me and for coming up with historia’s signature drink!! :)

historia

okay well she definitely has a sweet tooth

i can see her really enjoying the brown sugar/caramel milk teas

the really rich, sugary flavours that only the bravest can stand *dramatic music plays*

her signature drink (inspired by @p4latinus !!) is brown sugar creme brulee, with extra sugar :D

she lowkey has the hugest sugar high after it

bouncing around the room while ymir runs after her 

ymir

absolutely hates bubble tea

get that shit away from her

roses are read, violets are blue, if you give her boba, you’ll end up in it too*

*unless you’re historia

historia came up to ymir once with her signature brown sugar creme brulee with big puppy dog eyes

“CMON YMIR JUST A SIPPPPP”

[insert ray william johnson singing “JUST THE TIPPP”]

anyways

where was i?

ymir growls and grumbles for a few hours

(the drink be gettin stale)

but finally caves cause she is #weak

and also a raging lesbian for historia

ANYWAYS I DIGRESS

she takes the sip and immediately wants to die

why is there so much fucking SUGAR 

was this made by a fricking toddler or smth?

but when she looks at historia’s excited face she forces herself to finish the drink and smile

“Yeah, it’s great...! :D” 

and historia is so happy that ymir likes it that now she  always orders ymir a drink to match with hers

so now ymir is stuck drinking this sugary ass drink at LEAST twice a week

is she gonna say anything bad tho?

no

#ymir and historia forever                           

     >>hope u enjoyed! comment who u want to see in part 2. as always, likes, reblogs and comments are encouraged and appreciated 💌                              

[raytorosaurus]

i was looking for a video of the world is ugly last night on twt and all I found was a bunch of people talking about how gerard said that it's about lynz and the old lyrics to the song are so bitter and like. why do so many fans swear they hate lynz and can't stand her when they literally obsess over every little thing gerard says about her like i saw someone say that between the old lyrics being so bitter and the gouged out eyes on her birthday he "knows what he's doing" ????? get a hobby ?????

dude it's EMBARRASSING i literally saw someone say lynz is "holding back" gerard's gender expression,,,,, and that she couldn't possibly love him anymore because he's a "different person now" than when they married because he's "more feminine"....... like okay they're doing misogyny AND transphobia today alright alright. also even beyond that ur just making urself look stupid man like wtf do you think im her kind of girl and she's my kind of boy means lmaooooo. they were wearing matching OUTFITS SKDJFJSJD

[misora-msby]

embarrassing moments with inarizaki

inarizaki always looks so cool but you know they’re actually dorks and i am here to provide you the content to show theyre clowns. enjoy the headcanons :)

Kita Shinsuke

firstly. kita shinsuke being embarrased? making a mistake? unheard of.

he’s a perfect man and we all know it.

anyways

you two were having a nice dinner out together. 

it was a pretty fancy place so you decided to dress in a different style today

but you were beginning to wonder if kita liked it or not because he seemed to keep looking past your shoulder instead of at you

he was an observant guy so you were wondering if something had happened behind you

but you couldn’t hear anything weird so you assumed not

you decided to just stay quiet about it at first but now it was beginning to become annoying! 

why wasn’t he looking you in the eye to speak?

midway through your dinner, kita finally spoke up tho

“y/n, your shirt is slipping... yer bra’s showing.”

oh.

right. you were wearing your off-shoulder top.

“o-oh. shin, it’s that kind of shirt, you know?” you had to explain your outfit to ur bf with a pink face.

“oh... that so... well it’s cold these days so if yer feelin’ cold lemme know. i’ll give ya my jacket.”

GOD HES SO PERFECT KITA SHINSUKE I HOPE U MARRY HIM???????

Ojiro Aran

another man with next to no flaws.

but nature says everyone has to make some mistake.

so it was a regular school day, our aran has just come to class from morning practice and there’s still some time left until class starts.

all the girls in class are gathered around a table

he’s not sure why, it’s probably watching an idol video

but ur man wants to be a little romantic!!

plus he just showered so he smells Great uwu

he goes over and hugs you from behind, placing his chin on ur head.

“hey, bb whatcha ya doin”

all the girls gasp.

he doesn’t get whats wrong, it’s not like it’s a secret y’all are dating

pda to this level aint bad either

especially compared to his teammate miya atsumu

“ojiro aran.”

why is your voice behind him

he looks down and nearly faints when he sees he hugged the wrong girl.

to be fair she looked a lot like you from behind, just maybe 1cm shorter.

“i’m so sorry!” he keeps apologising to literally everyone and all the class is giggling bc they never seen their school’s ace so red before.

“didn’t think i’d come back from the toilet and see my bf cheatin”

“IT WAS A MISTAKE! I’M SERIOUS! Y/N U KNOW I LOVE YA!” 

hes so funny i swear

the volleyball team hears of it and it gets even better 

Miya Atsumu

it’s not a secret that miya atsumu, setter of the inarizaki volleyball team and invited to national youth training camp, had a gf

he was very much in love with u 

the whole class knew it because he’d show it off whenever he could too

so here comes valentines day

last year he received like... 50 different gifts from girls and guys aiming to win his love.

you didnt even give him one lmAOOOOO 

but this year, he had been not so subtly trying to hint that “i better not receive any chocolates this year when i’ve got a gf!”

he reaches school and plops into his seat.

there’s an anonymous box of chocolates with “please accept my love, miya-kun! <3″ on it

“the hell’s this?!”

“oh? chocolates?” - osamu who just popped his head into the class to shove into his twin’s face how much chocolate he got.

especially since the blond was off limits, the grey-haired twin had a bigger following now.

“do they not know i have a girlfriend...”

“well, ya might as well eat it. ya dont know who to return it to.”

“that’s like receivin’ their love!”

“no it ain’t. it’s just food.”

atsumu couldn’t argue with that and popped a piece in.

it was very delicious. the chocolate practically melted on his tongue and was the perfect sweetness and was filled with a delicious ganache too.

it was perfect

but he couldn’t accept this!

“it ain’t even good. too sweet and the filling’s sticky.”

“ah. really? is that what you think, tsumu?” you ask from the door where you had been watching the exchange take place.

“y/n! look at this! some weirdo gave me some choco and like... samu said to test it but i’ll toss it out, promise.”

“tsumu, i made that... i wrote it anonymously because i thought you’d know it was me and i wanted to tease you a little.”

“huh.”

osamu: “yeah actually i went over to her place to teach her how to make it.”

atsumu: “you said you went to suna’s place?!”

osamu: “i went there later but i first went to help her.”

you: “anyways if it’s not good i don’t mind if you toss it out...”

tsumu: “NO NO BABE I PROMISE IT’S GOOD”

you: “you just said-”

“BABE I SWEAR IT’S GOOD I JUST DIDN’T WANT TO ACCEPT A STRANGER’S STUFF”

“you’re always so honest though... are you sure?” you were having your fun teasing him now.

“BB PLSSSSSS”

he still cringes at the memory 4 years into ur marriage

Miya Osamu

osamu would DEFINITELY make home made dinner dates a regular thing.

this alone shows he’s the better twin - miya atsumu stan

he loves cooking and eating with you so sometimes when he’s got a day off you guys’ll set aside the afternoon to make a real nice dinner

imagine candlelit dinner with miya dorito body osamu in a suit

of course some fun stuff happens after too ;)))

and today’s your third anniversary!!

so osamu adds lots of ‘natural aphrodisiacs’ to the meal

i’m talkin

garlic bread and soup for an appetiser, a nice juicy steak with garlic and red wine sauce for the main, and chocolate coated strawberries for dessert

mm yummy

you two cleaned your plates completely (it was very delicious) and as you were washing the dishes, osamu comes up behind and wraps his arms around your waist

“yes, ‘samu?” 

“i’ve already prepared us a nice bath with yer favourite scents.” he’s got his head resting on ur chin

“really? thank you~ i’ll be there in a bit”

but he doesn’t let go of you while you’re still scrubbing at the baking sheets.

“osamu, you can let go for now.”

“don’t feel like it.”

“i gotta wash the dishes since you did most of the cooking.”

“mmm, i’ll do it if ya gimme a kiss.”

you roll ur eyes bc what a cutie 

u turn ur head to give him a kiss but suddenly he 

he burps

that garlicy wine smell is just kinda there

“ew! ‘samu!!”

his face is real red but he’s also trying not to laugh because he’s still a dude and this is absolutely hilarious to him

“want another?” he starts teasing

“i’m not getting in the bath with you.”

“wait wait wait i’m sorry, i’ll go brush my teeth and give you a proper kiss”

Suna Rintarou

you two were taking the train home today

it was quite late due to practice going a little longer than usual, so he insisted he walked you back home today.

sunarin can be a good boyf sometimes ok

it was getting a little crowded on the train tho, since people were heading home or going out for dinner

luckily you had already grabbed seats so you were quite comfortable sitting side by side. 

you and suna have the type of relationship were you dont have to talk all the time

silence is v comfy.

he’s just scrolling through twitter on his phone while you’re looking around the car, lost in ur thoughts

suddenly you notice an old lady standing a little bit away from you and you stand up

“baa-san, please take my seat.” you whisper in the crowded carriage

“oh how kind of you. thank you, dearie.” she smiles and takes your seat while you stand in front of her and suna instead.

suna doesn’t realise this exchange has happened tho

(he’s on his phone as usual)

probably starting some fights on twitter

he decides to try to be a little romantic and pretends to stretch his arm around (who he thought was) you.

“rin.” 

why is your voice right in front of him?

“young man, i appreciate it but i’m married.”

suna jumps as he sees someone he did not recognise next to him.

he looks up and notices you had moved.

you’re giggling

the granny’s giggling

atsumu and osamu sitting opposite on the carriage look like they’re going to cry because they’re trying not to laugh

“i was just stretching. really.” he mumbles and crosses his arms, face red as a tomato

he’s so embarrassed.

Ginjima Hitoshi

sometimes the inarizaki vbc would go for an after practice snack at the nearby family mart

they were really hungry after an intense preparation for nationals which was in two weeks so kita insisted they all get something to fill them up on the way home

but lucky lucky ginjima hhehe

you (his classmate who he had a crush on) were working at the cash register today.

“welcome!” you greet everyone as they enter

he cant help but stiffen up a bit 

why are u so cute and cheery today

the 2nd years already know what to do.

“heyy, i think last week i bought ya that ramen right? ya owe me my konbini snacks today!” - atsumu

“yeah. you lost a bet to me last week so u gotta pay up. a pack of jelly fruit sticks please.” - suna

“forgot my money today, mind payin’ for my snacks too?” - osamu

“like hell i’m paying for all of you. especially you, osamu. you eat too much all the time.” 

aran’s noticed what’s going on,

“hey, if it’s just for today you can do it right? if ‘samu don’t pay ya back tomorrow i’ll nag him ‘til he does.” 

“fine...” his basket is full when he goes to the counter.

he’s trying his best not to have a red face while watching u scan the items, ur hair swaying slightly as u look back and forth between the objects and the screen.

“alright. 4,890 yen please!” GOD he hated how expensive it was, that’s almost all his weekly allowance but bc it’s u and ur voice saying it it’s kinda ok

“mm, ok.” he still has his eyes on you while he takes out his wallet and puts it on the counter.

yes

his wallet, not the money

“...” “...”

“excuse me, sir. this is...”

he almost slaps his face wtf he’s so embarrassed.

“s-sorry. just a little absent minded after practice.” he starts pulling out his cash.

“it’s fine! i know how hard you guys practice!” you smile while performing the rest of the transaction and pass him his big bag of goods. “good luck for nationals, ginjima-kun!”

he almost runs out of the store and is about to fight the rest of the 2nd years for watching and (suna) recording

[rae-is-typing]

I love the headcanons format!!! So I was wondering if you had any lost but not forgotten headcanons. Like random quirks that the reader has cause she was raised in the pnw (also pnw whores unite lololol)

PNW WHORES UNITE LMAOOOOO my people have found me

Quirks the reader has in LBNF because she is from the PNW (pacific northwest)

Flannels

All the time

No matter the weather

same with grayscale clothes and doc martens

Also iced coffee

Is it winter?

Yes

Is the reader still drinking an iced vanilla latte?

Absolutely

In general, you don't vibe with beaches thanks to trauma, but if you ever do go to the beach, you always dress like it's fucking november lmao

Your family is like ????

What is this child doing?

Why is she wearing a sweater, a flannel, and a huge jean jacket on top of it?????

And you're like

It's gonna be cold, duh

You know all of the local coffee places and get mildly annoyed if there aren't any near RDJ's or Debbie's place

You don't wear helmets when you go biking

Yes, this did give your parental units heart attacks

You may or may not have cried when you learned that the closest Dutch Bros was hundreds of miles away

You loooove the outdoors and hiking, which excites RDJ cause father-daughter bonding on the trails

Then you basically out-hiked him LMAO

he was unhappy

especially when you told him "Keep up old man, we don't have all day"

Indio jokes about you hating the sun

Cause it rained all the fucking time on the island

He bought you SPF 100 one time

You are the designated barista of the family

You just make the best coffee because, duh, PNW culture is having an absurd amount of coffee just everywhere

TRUE

CRIME

TRUE CRIME LMAO

once you feel like you can joke about your trauma, you always say that it was jason and emilia's fault for raising you in washington

like if they didn't want you to solve it then why did they raise you in the pacific northwest

dummies

they don't find it funny lmao

ashlynn does though

she laughed her ass of when you first made that quip

true crime documentaries all the time

you even watch your own and laugh at the mistakes

you and ashlynn make a plan to do a tell-all series on social media once litigation is over and your family says its okay

420 jokes

even if you don't do the weed

just

all the time

"dad i need a blunt"

"N/N I SWEAR TO GOD-"

"nvm i think you need the blunt"

the seattle road rage is also very real

you also know how to mind your goddamn business

(its a huge thing to just never acknowledge people beyond a polite nod unless you know someone... at least in my area lol)

These are all off the top of my head, so let me know if i'm missing anything hahaha i loved this

[firelord-frowny]

i swear lmao it wasn't until just a few years ago that i realized some kids actually believed in santa and the tooth fairy and stuff like that omgggg i thought everyone knew they were just playing pretend with their parents!

like yeah, when i lost a tooth, I'd put it under my pillow so the ~tooth fairy~ could take it and leave me some money, but i never ever ever actually believed it was anyone other than My Mom lmaooooo.

and as for santa, there was literally no effort whatsoever by my parents to even acknowledge santa as a myth in the first place lmao like... i knew ~santa~ was a Christmas Man who, on TV and in storybooks, brought presents from the north pole to all the children across the world.

but i thought he was more like... a superhero or something?? like how lil kids grow up loving superman or batman or whoever, but they don't actually think superman or batman are real. so i assumed santa was in the same category!

and like, the main reason i Always Knew the presents came from my parents is because i was often looking right at them while they put stuff under the tree lmaooooo like, santa who????

and i was always SO DISTURBED by the lil ~sit in santa's lap~ events at malls and places like that omg!!! I'm like five years old and I'm looking at this long ass line of other five year olds waiting to sit in santa's lap and im like, what is WRONG with you people??? you don't know him!!! that's just a random old ass man and you wanna SIT in his LAP??? aren't you INTIMIDATED??? he's a STRANGER!!!

i remember my mom asked me One Single Time if i wanted to sit in santa's lap and i almost fucking cried at the very concept of it lmao like no! ew! what kind of idiot do you think i am????????

[sweetbbyshion]

HIII BABE DO DRAKEN PLEASE!!

the sfw and nsfw version if you do both🤧

SELF SHIP GAME - SFW

-> Draken x Kora

Who is the grumpiest in the morning?

Me 100%. We wake up at the same time but I always beg for 5 more minutes. Draken still drags me out of bed because he doesn't want me to be late. I hate waking up early AND HE KNOWS THAT but he doesn't give a shit.

Who worries more when the other is sick/hurt?

I feel like I worry more because I'm sick all the time and Ken knows how to take care of me but he never gets sick so when he does, it's bad and I panic. He's also the one arriving hurt and sometimes he tries to hide it because he knows I'll get worried but I can always tell whenever he's hurt.

Who plays pranks on the other?

LMAOOOOO ME AGAIN. Y'all let me tell you, Ken is TIRED of me. From tiktok trends to random pranks just because. He almost never falls for it but when he does it's the funniest shit ever.

Who is always the first to suggest cuddling on the sofa?

Surprisingly, Draken. I like to cuddle in bed but if we're on the couch watching something, he always tries to cuddle. HE NEVER ASKS DIRECTLY but he'll say some shit like "aren't you too far away?" "a bit cold, isn't if? get closer, I don't want you to get sick". If I tried to ask him if he's trying to cuddle, he'll deny it til the end.

Who insists on creating nicknames for the other?

Me. Draken only calls me by my name or baby if he's feeling nice but I always call him by some variation of his name (ken, kenny, kenken) or some cute pet name that he says he hates but I know he doesn't.

Who says "I love you" first?

Draken. I was always too scared to say it first so I never did. But Draken just blurred it out one day before bed. It was in the beginning of our relationship and he came to my house to have a sleepover. We were in bed, getting into comfortable positions and when he's about to turn off the light, he just says "goodnight, I love you" AND WENT TO SLEEP LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED.

Who's the messiest one?

We're both messy but Draken is the one who makes an effort to clean. I'm just too lazy.

Who feels the most uncomfortable about PDA

Draken does. I like PDA to a certain level, holding hands, kisses on the cheek but nothing more extravagant than that. Draken likes to keep it more on the lowkey so if there's too many people, we'll just link pinkies. He knows I like affection so he makes sure to compensate when we get home.

Who's the funniest drunk?

Neither of us drink. I might be tipsy and be more affectionate but that's it.

Who texts the most?

PLEASE, I DO. Kenny barely texts me and it annoys me sometimes. There are days where he doesn't check his phone ALL DAY and when he gets home he's like "oh, you texted me?". I swear, he's an old man.

Who has the most embarrassing taste in music?

I think my taste in music is elite but if you ask Ken, he'll disagree and say I'm embarrassing because when he's driving I like to put my playlist and cupcakke will start playing.

Who reads the most?

Me. Draken barely picks a book. But sometimes I force him to listen while I read smut just because it's funny to see his reaction.

Who's better with kids?

Well... Draken is better with kids after they get used to him. Because he's so big and scary-looking, babies and kids get scared easily. But he'll give them a soft smile and they get all excited trying to climb him and sit on his shoulders. I'm horrible with kids but they instantly like me, for some reason.

Who's the one that fixes things around the house?

My big strong man, Ryuguji Ken. If I tried to fix something, I'll break 7 more so Ken doesn't even let me go near anything broken.

Who cooks and who cleans up?

Draken cooks because I almost burned the house down but we try to split cleaning duties. But at the end he's gonna say something like "YOURE NOT DOING IT RIGHT, MOVE. I'LL DO IT". Kenny housewife arc.

[ichayalovesyou]

The One With The Whales (Live Reaction):

Saw parts of this one when I was super little! Oh good! This one is also directed Leonard Nimoy! He has my whole heart already so can’t wait to see this play out!!

Uh Oh. TOS crew on trial 😬😬😬 SAREK?!?! Oh shit oh shit oh shit!! Ohhhhhh man the gang is already in deep shit.

Awww looking at Spock from the distance all dramatic like huh Jim? You getting some mini therapy from yo mommmmmm 😭😭 I love Spock so so muchhhhhh. And I LOVE Amanda!!!! Oh, and the Captain of the Saratoga! She seems awesome!

Bye Saavik, you were cool and I hope we see you again someday. Awwww Bones is worried about Spock :( he and Jim both want Spock back so bad but don’t wanna push him and awwwwwwwww!! Also why does the probe sound like Jumanji drums??? Bones and Spock are actually killing me, this conversation is actually killing meeeeeee, arguing really is McCoy’s first love language! 😭

Whatever I may think of Sarek as a father, he is such a cool character and Mark Lenard really is an absolutely fantastic actor. Oh yikes, looks like the stars have aligned for Jim and the Bridge Family to save the world yet again lmao. Honestly this whole thing with the message for the whales makes me think of “So Long & Thanks For All The Fish” from Hitchiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. Also Bones being protective of Spock ☺️

I’m so glad at least Bones is acknowledging the plot of this movie is absolutely fucking insane 😂 THIS IS WHY I LOVE OLD STAR TREK! It’s not afraid to be absolutely unapologetically ridiculous! I love it!!! Thaaaaaats a weird dream right there, you good Jim?

Stupid problems require stupid solutions! LOVE the headband Spock 😂🤣 what an ENTRANCE!! Wow it sure is the 80s, WOW, the cognitive dissonance of these bozos wandering around 20th century San Fran I am LOSING MY MIND! They are just little kreatures and they have no monies 😂😂😂 NUCLEAR WESSELS!!!! Oh god stahp I can’t breathe!!!!

I BELIEVE IN THE BEASTIE BOYS MEETING SPOCK ON THIS BUS THEORY OHHHHH MY GOD!! Jim is so old lmao! And then everyone clapped! Kirk please, I’m already laughing so hard PLEASE don’t teach Spock how to swear I’m losing my mind!!!

Wow that vibe when you remember this movie actually legitimately helped save the blue whales as a species. SPOCK IS GOING SWIMMING HERE WE GOOOOOOOOO!! JIM’S FACE! Also Nimoy can get it, damn “these are not the hell your whales.” Lmaooooo

I love this marine biologist lady she’s great! Lol. “No ma’am no dipshit.” Also “Gracie is pregnant.” *HITS BREAKS* this movie is fucking amazingggggg the legendary Italian food conversation I love themmmmmm. Bones & Scotty’s improv skills are legendary “millions of- I mean thousands of miles from Edinburough” look at this insanity, I love it.

Why do I hang around with that ditzy guy who knows Gracie’s pregnant and calls you Admiral? “He’s my husband.” (Totally posting this one! XD)

UH OH PAVEL!!!! 😨 RUN PAV RUUUUUUUUUUUN!! Oh noooo. NO THE WHAAAAALES!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS BAD YALL AHG MY FEELINGS FUDGE FUDGE FUDGE AND CRAP!! This poor woman oh my god lmao, that look on her face when she saw Spock she was like “oh, he’s an alien, that makes a lot more sense.”

SPOCK HES BACK HES OKAY HES ALL THE WAY BACK AND HE LOVES STUDENT SURROGATE SON PAVEL CHEKOV IM NOT CRYING YOU ARE!!!!!!!!! “It’s the human thing to do...” 😭😭😭😭

“Pavel... rank... Admiral!” ON BRAND LMFAO! SHE GREW A NEW KIDNEY! This movie is going to kill me in the opposite freaking way TSFS did lmao. Oh wow whale lady was just like IM COMING TO THE FUTURE FUCK YOUUUUU and honestly, mood.

Bones and Jim being so happy to see that Spock is (for the most part) back to his old self and my heart is meltingggggg

ADMIRAL THERE BE WHALES HERE!!!

I really do not understand people who don’t like Kirk I really, really don’t. He’s wonderful and sweet and smart and brave and I love him. Nobody convince me otherwise that he is good and awesome and good.

Dude this scene is so wholesome and good and fun!!! Oh my god!! The music! SPOCK IS SMILING! This is single handedly watering my crops and clearing my skin! “I stand with my shipmates.” THEY GOT OFF BECAUSE THEY DID IT FOR LOVE AND THEN SAVED THE WHOLE ASS PLANET AFTER YASSSSSSS!!! Spock & Jim should’ve kissed right there I’m just saying. Also Jim & whale lady deserve a long lasting (if long distance) friendship.

Spock even gets to reconcile with his parents awwwww, Sarek is finally recognizing that his son can move mountains because of who he is. “Tell her (mother) I feel fine.” Okay good I’m crying again. 💚🖖🏻💚😭😭😭

ITS THE ENTERPRISE B!!!! 🤩🤩🤩 THEYRE HOMMMMME *Pterodactyl shrieking*

That was so wholesome oh my goddddd

[lailarain]

Spoilers for TBHK

TW: Mentions of s3xu@l åss@ult/@buse, $uicidə and bl00d

Episode 1:

I just finished episode 1 of Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun(Weird title, I know), and I just have to say...

I love Hanako and Nene and I will protect them both with my life🥰

Episode 2:

WOAH Hanako wyd😳

I kinda ship Hanako and Nene tho lol don't attack me

AYO THERE'S AN EYE UNDER YOUR DESK

Wait did Hanako steal her books or was it that eye thingy🤨

The title spelt faires wrong

OH SHOOT THE SCALES

Wait NO DON'T FALL FOR IT NENE IT'S BAIT

YES MA BOI HANAKO TO THE RESCUE

Wait are Yousei from japanese legend, like yokai or oni?

Okay I DEFINITELY SHIP THESE TWO

Wait why does Hanako look kinda said when she says that

awwww Hanako🥺

Wait what is he talking about who was his friend before

Nene is awesome istg🥺

WAIT WHO IS THE BLONDE DUDE WHY IS HE LOOKING FOR HANAKO NO

"I wish a hot guy who fall out the sky for me that way" girl Hanako is literally RIGHT there

Omfg this orange hair f-boy🤨

Wait WASN'T THAT THE NAME OF HER CRUSH

Hanako just standing there like 😐

WAIT NO LEAVE HANAKO ALONE

He tried to not swear in front of her lol

HOLDUP MA PRECIOUS BABY BOI DID NOT MURDER SOMEONE WTF

HOW DARE HE SAY THAT NO ONE WANTS HANAKO AROUND

Jesus Hanako is so cute lol

I honestly can't tell if hanako is an owo boy or a bruh boy istg

OKAY CAN SOMEONE TELL WHO THIS WEIRD RADOI LADY IS AND WHY SHE KEEPS SHOWING UP AT THE END OF THE EPISODE

Episode 3:

(That one part in the intro) Step-yellow sillouette, what you doing😳

For real tho Hanako looks pretty scared during that part of the intro why are they biting his ear(maybe Hanako was a victim of s3xu@l assault?)

Wait isn't Hanako the 7th of the 7 Wonders

Okay that's kinda gross😟

Okay Aoi is pretty sweet😌

WAIT NO AOI SHE WAS TOO PRECIOUS

NO AOI BETTER NOT BE GONE

NO NOT THE BLOOD

What is she talking about he's not hot at all🤨

OH SHOOT IS HE A GHOST

Okay can minamoto leave Hanako alone🙄

Awww Hanako is half hto and half cute I might be a simp

OKAY WOAH THIS PLACE IS COOL

I mean Hanako has a good point😳

NO DON'T ANSWER IT

OKAY WOAH DON'T ASK SOME HIGH SCHOOLER TO GO COLLECT YOUR BODY PARTS NOPE

Okay WOAH how old are you exactly, Hanako?

Okay this fantasy is making me uncomfortable😀

Girl, you're already cute. You don't need to be a Miu Iruma lookalike to find love

THE BOOBS LMAOO😭😭😭😭😭

Awwww Hanako being sweet to Nene🥺

YES HANAKO SAVING THE DAY

Wait why didn't she answer his question🤨

Wait who WAS making those phone calls?

WAIT THE EPISODE IS ALREADY OVER?!?!?!?

Episode 4:

Okay but for real WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THE YELLOW SILHOUETTE AND HANAKO IN THE INTRO?!?!?!

Wait I just noticed that in the part with the yellow silhouette, Hanako is tied up with rope😳

Okay here's my theory:

When Hanako was alive, he was a student at the school. He was s3xu@lly a$$aulted in the bathroom, and muđəred his attacker out of anger/mental instability, therefore cursing him to the bathroom he was assaulted in. He became a ghost to make up for his sins.

Idk I could be totally off-base

HOLY FUCK IT'S A HEAD

IT'S THE BODY LMAOOO

Wait she actually likes it🤨

HOLY SHIT EWWWWWW

WAIT WHAT NO NOT AOI

WHAT THE FUCK NOOOOOO NOT AOI

WAIT YES AOI ISN'T DEAD

Hanako is so sweet istg.

HANAKO REALLY JUST PUSHED HER OFF THE EDGE LIKE A PSYCHOPATH AJAGRKEBDUDBD

Can she not spell or something🤨

WAIT WAS THE GHOST A STUDENT OF MISAKI

Wait she had a crush on her teacher that's so gross

Oh no. The student didn't know Misaki was murdered🥺

WAIT NO THIS IS SAD

OH SHOOT THAT IS DARK

aww she misses the teacher🥺

YES HANAKO MY BOY

WAIT HANAKO NO HE'S HURT

Nene is really fed up😳

WAIT WHAT NO SHE'S GONNA DIE?!?!?!?!

Awwww poor girl🥺

Why'd she have to die😭

Little Fox is mean😑

WAIT DID HE JUST KISS HER YES BABY

WAIT WHO'S THAT GREEN-HAIR GIRL

HE FORGOT ABOUT MINAMOTO LMAOOO😭

Episode 5:

Okay BUT WHO IS GRABBING HANAKO IN THE INTRO ISTG

LMAO SHE WAS FANTASIZING😭😭😭

Okay but she's SO pretty with her in a braid

Are you sure there was NOTHING good about that😏

YES AOI MY GIRL GIVING HER GOOD ADVICE

But I doubt Hanako would admit it

WAIT DID HANAKO PLANT THAT TREE OR AM I PARANOID

I'm excited to see how THIS plays out😁

HANAKO WHAT DID YOU SAYYYYY

WAIT IS HE REALLY GONNA DO IT

WAIT ARE THESE BITCHES GAYYYYYY

Wait what if the tree curses people

GIRL ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT HANAKO ISN'T HOT AS IS!?!?!?

WAIT YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS THIS IS SO COOL

WAIT WHAT'S THE CATCH

Of course he didn't actaully mean it THIS SUCKS😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HE'S HOLDING HER I REPEAT HE'S HOLDING HER

poor Nene

WAIT OH NO SHE'S CRYING

WAIT DOES HE ACTUALLY LIKE HER

HE'S BLUSHING WHAT

YES YES YES YES YES YESSSSSSSS

WAIT HE'S RIGHT THERE

I was right they have the same last name!

WAIT THIS BITCH BETTER NOT COME BETWEEN HANAKO AND NENE

CAN THIS BITCH SHUT UP

TERU STOP IT RN

Okay I kinda feel bad for Kou rn🥺

HOW IS HE ANY OF THOSE THINGS

Wait who is that girl🤨

YES I WANNA FIND OUT MORE ABOUT HANAKO

THE GREEN HAIR GIRL AND NATSU-SOMETHING ARE UP TO NO GOOD I CAN FEEL IT

Wait WHY WAS HANAKO SMILING

I have a bad feeling about this.

Episode 6:

Yeah Hanako really seems like the good guy🤨

WOAH what's up with the door?

I love the Mokkes🥺

It's her book😶

WOAH OKAY THEN SHE REALLY IS IN LOVE

WAIT WHY IS THERE BLOOD

HOLDUP HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT

HANAKO MA BOI

WOAH OKAY YES HE'S HOLDING HER

DID HE JUST EAT THE BUTTERFLY

God I love Hanako

WAIT YOU'RE GONNA CANCEL THE WHAT NOW

Ooooooo I wanna heae some juicy secrets😏

Girl, that secret wasn't juicy at all🙄

Wait what does the library ghost know🤨

SAY SOMETHING HANAKO YES

He's so cute tho

BUT I LOVE DONUTS TOO HOW IS THAT JUICY

HANAKO YOU WERE LOOKING REAL PROTECTIVE OF HER THEN😏😏😏

I feel bad for Nene because they keep saying her legs are fat, as if the boys that say that are gonna get any better. NENE IS A FREAKIN CATCH😤😤😤

Wait what is he talking about Hanako😶

WAIT HE IS TALKING ABOUT HANAKO, ISN'T HE

WAIT HANAKO WAS HIS STUDENT HE'S SO CUTE

Awwwww Hanako🥺🥺🥺🥺

WAIT HANAKO ISN'T EVEN HIS NAME!??!?!? IT'S YUGI?!?!?!?

Awwwww Hanako🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Wait, so did Hanako commit $uicidə, or am I just paranoid?

Wait so that means that happened on the day of July 15, 1969.......SO HOW OLD IS HANAKO AGAIN?!?!?!?!?

WAIT SO HE NEVER GOT HIS DREAM TO COME TRUE BECAUSE HE DIED THAT'S SO SAD

Wait so am I right DID HE REALLY COMMIT $UICIDƏ ?!?!?!?

I THINK HANAKO SMELLS A SNITCH

Man this is a lot to unpack for just one episode

Episode 7:

I love how childish Hanako is

WAIT I SAW THE YELLOW SILOUETTE THING AGAIN AND I HAVE A THOUGHT:

What if Hanako got those bruises because of the səxua| ass@ult thing I said before? That would make sense.

Idk maybe I'm just too obsessed with that theory

I see Hanako differently after the Library too, but in a different way.

What why the donuts?

He's totally lying. I bet he's gonna make some for Hanako🥺

Okay but Kou is actually pretty sweet

I mean, if he DID murder someone who bullied him, they had it coming for touching my precious Hanako😤

Yous shouldn't stop being friends with someone just because it's complicated. ALL friendships are complicated. It isn't supposed to be easy.

Awwww Nene🥺🥺🥺

Okay I'm kinda hungry for donuts now

Ugh it's Teru🙄

Okay KOU YOU'RE ACTUALLY PRETTY COOL

Okay Teru YOU SUCK SO MUCH

SO ARE THE GREEN HAIR AND NASTU-SOMETHING BIY EVIL OR NOT I'M SO CONFUSED

Hanako is so cute sometimes istg

POOR HANAKO OOF

YES NENE😤😤

THEY ARE BLUSHING I REPEAT THEY ARE BLUSHING

"You're totally not my type" okay first of all that is bullshit and second of all get yourself a boy who's chill when you say you don't like them

OKAY WHAT'S GOING ON

HE'S GOLDING HER

Wait why does Hanako look terrified that's not good

HOLDUP WHO DID HE KILL WHY IS THERE AN AD RIGHT WHEN IT'S ABOUT TO SAY WHO HE KILLED

WOAH WHO THE FUCK IS THAT WHY DO THEY LOOK LIKE HANAKO WHAT IS GOING ON AHDVEKDVEIDVDJ

GET YOUR HAND OFF OF HIS FACE THIS GUY TOTALLY $EXU@LLY @SSAULTED HIM

YES NENE PROTECT YOUR MAN

HOLY SHIT HE'S BURNING

DID HE REALLY JUST RE-TRAUMATIZE HANAKO AND THEN LEAVE?!?!?!?

WAIT WHAT IS HANAKO DOING

WAIT HE'S CRYING

HANAKO WHAT'S WRONG

I WANNA GIVE HANAKO A HUG SO BADLY ISTG

WAIT SO THERE'S THE ONES CHANGING THE RUMORS?

OKAY WHO IS THIS BITCH

Wait THAT'S HIS BROTHER WHY DID HE KILL HIS BROTHER

This partially denies the possiblity of my theory(MOSTLY denies it), but not entirely. There's a big chance I'm wrong.

WAIT SO SAKURA IS THE ONE DOING THE RADIO THING?!?!?!

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

Hanako🥺🥺🥺🥺

I have a feeling that that is probably jsut a random student😅

Hanako, I hate it when you're sad😭😭😭

WAIT SO HIS EARRING WAS FOR TRAFFIC SAFETY THE WHOLE TIME LMAOOOOO

OKAY WOAH BACK UP GHOST-PERSON

KOU IS NOT A M0ŁƏ$TER

Wait that was the whole episode?

Episode 8:

Okay the person @ssaulting(maybe even $exua||y @$$aulting idk I think I'm just obsessed with that theory) in the intro is definitely his brother

Mitsuba is kinda weird and annoying, but also funny at the same time

Excuse me Traffic safety is no joke😐

WAIT SO HE KNEW MITSUBA AND JUST FORGOT?!?!?!?

Awwww Mitsuba🥺🥺🥺🥺

No Mitsuba you're cool

KOU WHAT THE F ARE YOU SAYING

AWWWWW THIS IS SO SWEET

MITSUBA I SEE YOU BLUSHING😏😏😏😏

MITSUBA NOOOOOOOOOO

TSUKASA STOP IT

NO POOR MITSUBA STOP IT

HOW DARE THEY

NOOOOOO MITSUBA AAAAAAAA

OKAY IMA BOUT TO THROW HANDS WITH TSUKASA, WHO'S WITH ME😤😤😤😤

TSUKASA YOU SICK SEDUCER STOP LYING TO MITSUBA

NOOOOOOOOO MITSUBA

POOR HANAKO LEAVE HIM ALONE TSUKASA

Okay "Let's play together like we used to" really sounds like $exu@l @$$ault

Kou🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Awwww Hanako🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

NO THIS ISN'T THE WAY MITSUBA SHOULD GO OUT NO

I'm am so close to crying rn

OH KOU JUST REALIZED WHAT HE WAS TAKING A PHOTO OF AWWWWW

Okay wow all of that really happened in one episode

Episode 9:

I'm sorry that I won't shut up about my theory BUT THAT ONE PART REALLY LOOKS LIKE WHAT I THINK IT IS I SWEAR

I feel so bad for Hanako rn tho

Omfg It's Natsuhiko🙄

Nene stop it this dude is BAD NEWS

WAIT NO THEY BETTER NO DO ANYTHING TO MY PRECIOUS NENE ISTG

I HAVE THE SAME QUESTIONS, NENE

FRIENDS MY ASS

(To be continued here because I ran out of space)

[butterbeeryuta]

lee jeno as your husband

a/n: happy birthday jeno ✨ik you’re just 20 and here i am writing you as a husband im sorry KDJKSJDSDKJKSD but i swear, i dont mean anything bad. i hope you really do have the happiest birthday despite the current situation, and i wish that only the people who truly love and deserve you surround you and remind you what a great person you are. we love you lee jeno <3

congratulations! ya'll have a baby boy (doesn’t matter if you adopted or gave birth in this case, you do you bishes)

idk about you, but taking care of babies is hard alright (speaking from experience when i had to take care of my newborn cousin for 5 months on a weekly basis). doesn’t matter if you’re a mum or a dad, you gotta sacrifice a lot of your time to make sure that the kid is well fed and cared for, and patience is a key really.

and to say that you and jeno didn’t argue quite a bit about parenting would be a lie

but like, ya’ll fought about such petty shit it’s kind of funny

‘jeno i told you to change his diaper—‘

‘______ please no i had to clean his diaper this morning and i think i lost my sense of breathing’

normally you’d be laughing, and shrug it off

but you were a tired shister. you were up all making your baby shut up in the nicest way possible of course

so you may have bursted

‘YOU LITERALLY JUST HAVE TO WIPE SHIT AND TAPE A FUCKIN DIAPER ON A CHILD LEE JENO’

again, you maY have bursted

keyword: may

and he was annoyed by it, i mean who wouldn’t. i would’ve bitch slapped you _______.

then again, we all know how loving and sweet lee jeno is

he may not show it very explicitly, but he does subtle things and does admire you for your hard work and caring nature

he always make sure to have enough diapers, toiletries, and even gets the baby clothes laid out once your bby boy your actual kid not jeno is fresh from the shower uwu

ya’ll are a lovely couple though

you cook together, clean the house, play with your son— just soft hours tbh

there was this one time where jeno placed his boy on his lap, and was gently moving his kid’s arms to the choreography of boom while the baby was just giggling and smiling

and jeno couldn’t stop smiling and giggling too

you literally have two babies in front of your being in their ultimate babie form hoW ken you knott meLt

and there was this other time when your baby just climbed up on his chest and jeno woke up only to see the brightest smile from ur son and jeno wakes you up (despite the fact that ur half dead) and it’s all so uwu 

bottomline is: jeno wants to show you everything your son does and you can’t blame him for anything cause it is very cute 

when your son is sleeping, jeno just comes up to you and hugs you from the back

and he doesn’t really say anything, he just embraces you as a way to say good job for basically not giving up and trying to be the best parent

and you know what he is implying, and you just lean your head on his chest, embracing the warmth

THIS IS SO FUCKING FLUFFY GOD I LOVE THIS MAN

he also finds time to pepper you with kisses cause hE can and he loves you but also cause this boi wants to remind you that he’s always going to be there for you

i swear _______ wrap him in bubble wrap he is precious

lmAOOOOO jeno simply cannot trust the dreamies to be alone with your kid

chenle laughing his ass off, renjun probably choking jisung, haechan plotting something mischievous, and jaemin most likely making the most absurd sounds—the last thing jeno wants is his son to be a mixture of all of these boys

lowkey same with you

but of course, being a goOd parent, you sort of tell jeno to trust his group mates because they really do want to be great uncles

and they are!!! just in a chaotic manner

‘chenle i told you my son doesn’t need an apple watch’

‘but hyung what if he gets lost—‘

‘HE IS 3 MONTHS OLD’

anyways,

lee jeno is a wonderful husband who rlly cares for you and your kid

and whoever does actually get to marry him is probably the luckiest person in this galaxy

well maybe second luckiest, injun is already lucky for having jeno whipped for his ass

[tellywoodtrash]

shaadi mubarak 01+02.09.20 lb

01.09.20

oh ho kusummmm, don't be so rukhiii rukhiiiii. this is a delicate momentttttt.

the actual physical discomfort preeti is in while stepping into the house. my hearttttttt.

kusum is so hella mad and wants to smack the shit outta.... well, someone, that’s for sure.

the actress playing juhi has heavyyyyyyy dalljiet as anjali vibes no?

preeti is having TUMHARAAAAAA SASURAAAAL!!!! waala breakdown. sis chill for a sec.

kusum been knowing that this shit was coming. she looks so damn mad.

priyanka FORSHO has history with tarun. i get the feeling he might have rejected her coz she's not "refined" enough or some such thing.

"beta hi khota nikla toh bahu ko kaahe sunaana?" 100% nailed it.

i fully get how kusum can be perceived as callous but she's just someone with duniya ki samajh and doesn't bother sugarcoating her words for effect. she speaks the plain truth, not what anyone ~~wants to hear.

also she is totallll self confidence goals.

"ram ji ki laathi kaise maathe pe baaji!" lmaooooo

oh no preeti heardddddddddd.

sumedh running to do damage control, bless his heart.

kusum like BRO DON'T YOU TRY TO SHUT ME UP I'M STILL THE BOSS OF THIS HOUSE SO HELP ME GOD

the badly cgi'd exteriors are so blah. like, surely you can devote a day or two to taking some establishing shots and then use them over and over?

poor KT can't shake the visuals from his head.

KT really the rudra of this house huh. a spoilt, doted on lil BABY man.

lol mom and chaachi are instanttttt shippers.

cheesy man has secret center of angst.

ouff again with this sasuraal waala ratttt.

juhi is best beti.

GOD WHO MAKES THESE DUMBASSSSSS FUCKING RULES ABOUT WHO GETS TO LIVE WHERE ITS BLOODY 2020 FFS SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT HAS COLLAPSED JUST DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

juhiiiiii asking ALL the rightttt questions.

yes juhi you establish that haq!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lmao kusum is so me.

great, piyu has a new reason to hate juhi's fam.

GOOD LORD SHE'S SUCH A FUCKING DRAMA QUEEEEEEN. she's second on the list of "ASSHOLES WHO NEED TO DIAL IT DOWN, WAY DOWNNNNNNNNN" after tarun.

kusum trying to find some peace of mind.

oh ho, piyu has a backstory, where she was shipped off to gaon by her parents for some reason. ok i feel a little bad for her (but not thaaaaat much also.)

juhi sambhaale toh kitne maaon ke draamey sambhaale aaj???!

BETI KE GHAR KA PAANI TAK BLAH BLAH BLAHHHHHHH

sumedh ko koi sach mein koi mantriii banao. he is best man for the job.

KT is always expected to perform the dialogues of his movies, like some kinda circus monkey?????

KT and his mom are veryyyyy wholesome.

ummmm, literally none of these people said any of these things, preeti. ainvaaayi khayaali khichidiiiiii of unpleasantness you're cooking in your head.

this fucking samaaaj is the jaddd of allllll problems. fucking burn it all down to the grounddddddddddddddddd.

02.09.20

KT wants to call chaabi waali to check on her. sweet.

great, preeti left her phone over at tarun/rati's.

OMG THIS BITCH. NAATAK?!!?!? MY GODDDDDDD, FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUU RATI.

KT didn't believe a worddddd of that bs.

bless this man's empathetic heart. he Soft.

RATI I SWEAR TO GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD I HOPE THIS GHAR OF YOURS FALLS ON YOUR DAMN HEAD.

and tarunnn, i wish you'd fall into a moat filled with hungry crocodiles.

sumedh is trying to find diplomatic solution while kusum eavesdrops lol.

oh i think sumedh and juhi handle some kinda family business together. sweet.

SUMEDH BE SETTING HUSBAND GOALSSSSSSSS. YOU RAISED A GOOD ONE, KUSUM.

lmaoooooo kusum and her ramji sayings are my fav.

my god, bohut hi besura bhajan chal raha hai subaah subaah.

i wish the walls of this house weren't so AGGRESSSIVELYYYYY BLUE. it makes the space look claustrophobic and dark.

(recently painted an accent wall in my living room, and this comment is a result of having read 30 thousand home decor blogs in a week.)

every time i see that wall hanging over preeti's face in that photo, i lol. kusum you're so deliciously petty.

khatarnaak music and ainvayiiii ka tevar for kusum.

LMAO THE MISLEAD WITH THE TWO MUGS OF TEA. KUSUM YOU PETTY ASS B I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

juhiiiiiiiiiiiii is literalllll sunshine.

and sumedh got them a special pass to go to some mandir in pushkar. god bless these twoooooo kidsssss.

preeti has enough self-flagellation and guilt to put the best of catholics to shame.

LMAOOOOOOOOO KUSUM RUNNING AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY TO HIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AND DO NAATAKKKKK.

i guess to get some attention + to get preeti to stay home with her???

yupppppp, she fully wanted quality time with preeti.

hahahahaha raajeshwari sachdev is honestly a gifttttttt that i didn't expect from this show but i'm soooooo glad it gave me.

askjfhkdsjfshksjf kusum's comments on youngest daughter's (kajal?) dungarees.

kajalllllll fully knows how mummy works. i like her best of the sisters.

"purkhon ne aakhein di hai ya cctv? kuch bhi na chupe thaanedaarni se!" hee hee heee

kusum + kajal tying for best maa-beti jodi with preeti + juhi.

"door se dikhaana tha toh photu kheench ke bhej deti; nimbu kharchne ki kya zaroorat thi???" hahahahahaha

lmao kusum tum juhiiiii ki saas ho ya preeti ki.

GOOD LORD WHAT IS THIS NAAGIN MUSIC?!?!

kusummmm ainvayiiiii mein tang kar-ing preeti to see till what extent she'll bend over backwards to accommodate the nakhras.

i mean, i don't blame preeti for wanting to leave this place.

oh god KT's mom is gonna do some totally unnecessary matchmakingggg. LITERALLLLY WHO ASKED FOR THISSSSSSSSSS??!?!?!

stop calling a 40 year old man A LADKA, jesus. daaant haath mein aa jayenge phir bhi desi maaa ke liye apna raja beta LADKA hi hai.

kusum is totalllly miffed at preeti's over-formal, farmabardaaaar behaviorrrr.

OH HOOOOOO KUSUMMMMMMMM TAAAANA MAT MAAROOOOOOOO

I SHALL NOT BE FOOLED BY THE RED HERRING PRECAP I'M SOOOOOOOOO FUCKING HYPED FOR TOMM'S EPPPPPPPP IT'S GOING TO BE FUCKING GLORIOUS AND BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bucksbisexual]

okay since im rewatching 2gether, might as well make my reaction public lol

tine trying to be a supportive boyfriend by asking wat if something is troublig and wat’s himbo self being like “nah fam im good” god i love this dumbass

also tine not knowing how to talk about his feelings is so relatable help

honestly i would’ve LOVED to see sarawat at least one (1) question

tine’s smile while wat drinks..... Sir I Am In Love With You

also his blush..... Sir I Am More In Love With You Than I Was Before

“is the lyric about smile or happiness?” “don’t cheat” wat saw through his bullshit right there KSJFHKS

i wonder what’s in those glasses because it doesn’t quite look like coke but it obviously isn’t beer,,,,

ohhhhh “a friend from high school” ... explains tine’s reaction we see in the teaser when he introduces pam as his highschool friend

also explains why tine thought sarawat made that video for her instead of him. wat is in his high school clothes and tine probably thought it was before he saw him (when in fact it was probably recorded the same day lmao sarawat hopeless romantic)

tine: one more game! [spins the coin and supposedly falls on heads] wat!

sarawat: no one can talk to me if i fall asleep

i’m trying not to look at bright’s jiggly butt why is ass so fat fOR

it doesnt add the points here if i dont write something else so intro time yeet

yknow what . we need more earn and more pear in these two last episodes . i need my wlw rep and i need it Now

“personal space is important even for couples” still cant believe man was the owner of their braincell in this scene

tine giving all of type’s info away to wat so wat can give it to man who tine knows will use to pester him until he becomes his boyfriend...... say it with me: tine mantype shipper

“how did you know?” “i prayed to god” literally the funniest part ever

manboss: im not going good luck wat: you’re so full of bullshit

GREEN <3

i will just say that pink is tine’s best colour. i need him in every soft pink thing u can find. it accentuates his skin colour so perfectly and we are Here for it honeyyyy

MIL SHUT THE FUCKUP

sarawat being a savage (rachet booty nasty) we stan

bro get over him oh my god he’s taken and happy with wat LEAVEEEEEE

and man pestering type begins Now ksjfh

i’m like 100000000% sure that the only thing in that whole backpack is a pencil and half of an eraser

im also sure type saw him buy the book since u literally can see him from where man and that girl are and

hold up the waiter looks like a guy from whyru,,,,,,,,,,

i need someone to write a fic about tine being an astronomy lover and wat falling in love with him because of the joy in his eyes when he talks about the stars and interesting facts about the universe and new discoveries of galaxies and other things that wat doesnt really care about but he listens to either way because he’s too in love to shut off his brain

okay back to the episode sorry i just really had to say this

wat really said “don’t take advantage of me when i’m sleeping” when they haven’t even kissed.......... no words, completely speechless

tine probably thought he was being real sneaky right there lmao boy he fell asleep 2 seconds ago

god green really appears for 2 seconds and yet he steals the show KSFJHKFJFS he really was about to beat the person in front of him’s ass for not walking faster im crying i love him

BITCH SHUT UP AND LEAVE THEM ALONE STOP TRYING TO BE A HOMEWRECKER

wat looks so offended by his offer it’s so funny jhfksjhgj still MIL GET THE FUCK OUT

them running around is so funny when u know they had to do that like 20 times and were tired as fuck KSJFHKSHFS

WAT YOU SMOOTH FUCKER i love u

omg the bracelet truly isnt there at the start of the scene :-(

“nuisance tree” lemme just cry a bit

the music stopping here......... they truly played with our feelings there huh

WAT YOU SMOOTH FUCKER 2

the reactions are so kdrama outro i cant breathe KJHFJSFKJS

GET THE FUCK OUTTTTTTTTTTT

“well, you left him” IM GOING TO STEP ON YOU

bracelet where r u :-(

“it was here a second ago” it wasn’t im an obsessed bitch and noticed just as the scene there started

he looks so worried:-( tine baby

“i can make you a new one” “but i want the old one” why do i feel like that has more than one meaning,,,

half of the times wat touches tine’s head his hands are dirty as fuck lmaoooooo

is- is someone wearing a marihuana dress??????

manbosss again and he has a book

type is the teepakorn brother that can lie and will lie meanwhile tine can’t lie for a living

I LOVE THIS GUY GIVE ME HIS SELF CONFIDENCE

dim really made up a whole spirit just for wat to be with tine lmao i cant breathe (unless the pine tree spirit is an actual thing and he just used it for this specific thing lmao)

“that senior is me” “and who did you go with?” “that was a long time ago” “it wasn’t me, it wasn’t me” “green, drop it!” i love them KSFJHFSJHF

green and wats faces i cant bREATHE these are the faces of people who know this is all fake

BRO WAT WASNT EVEN THAT SLICK WITH THE PAPER IN HIS HAND SJKHSFHHKFS

my guess is that he had two papers that were the same number just incase they didnt get the same number but then somehow mf MIL had to come in and ruin it

i dont know who chose to make bright wear this much brown but it honestly fits him so well

coffee for his soon to be boyfie

man: loving u is kind of bothering? type: o_o man

he’s still reading the book kjshfsf WAIT HES SO CUTE

“you gotta miss me if i don’t show up one day” “just back off. i’m leaving. do not follow me. give me some time to miss you” okay tsundere ass bitch

type’s so rich he’d rather spend money on getting his tire fixed than get it fixed by man for free i hate rich people

he’s also too rich to care to check if his doors were locked i-

“for me?” “do you see anyone else?” bitch ass tsundere

type: smiles, realises he just did that, eyes cutely go o_o

type looks so cute in that scene for no reason im going to eat ur cheeks if u dont stop being a cutie

aaaaaand of course theyre not paired up

dude of course he is youre creepy and also trying to break his relationship apart only because u dont have the decency to see that you dont have a place in his heart whatsoever

dim honey........ jskhsjf

tine’s hair....... PLEASE I NEED TO TOUCH IT IT LOOKS SO FLUFFY

“the spirit doesnt like it when you pray with your eyes opened” did literally no one notice how nonsense that was? KSFJHSJ

GREEN U SCARED THE BABY WHY WOULD U DRESS LIKE THAT

he looks so cute im gonna cry like actually cry

weak ass blankets they gave them i swear

if u cuddled then u wouldnt have been cold but noooooo ur big puppy boyfriend has trust issues

baby:-((((((((((( i will cover u with a blanket and give u lots of kithes and hugs

tine having his phone die at an important moment and also having no sense of direction whatsoever is so relatable lmaooooo

thank god for the rain because otherwise sarawat wouldnt have ran the way tine actually went lmao i wouldve beaten dims ass if mil was the one who found him

this scene hurts so much:-(( his throwing the grass like that in complete defeat??????? the flashback to him saying that bad things seem to happen to them lately makes my heart break

the soft touches:-((((( please im gonna Cry

dnotsaysorrydontsaysorrydonsaysorrydontsayHE SAID SORRY FFS

baby :’((((((

“i prayed for something but i havent redeemed that prayer yet” “what did you ask for?” “it’s if i got to see you again, i would show you the video i made. it’s the song your smile you are so curious about” BITCHHHHHHHHH

HES GONNA SHOW ITTTTTT YES I LOVE HOPELESS ROMANTIC HIGHSCHOOLER SARAWAT

he’s all shy i cant breathe he cant even look at the screen skjfhksh

oh so it was on the same day sksjhj forgot about that

I CRY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

tine is all blushy im gonna sob i love these two

im trying not to scream and tines reaction to wat telling him he went to every scrubb concert just to look for him

ITS NOT GONNA GET STUCK ON THE VIDEO BABY HE WILL LIKE U BACK IN A YEAR!!!!!!

“i like you” “yeah. i know. i like you too” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM LITERALLY REWATCHINNG BUT I STILL JUST SCREECHED AT THAT I LOVE THIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

their smiles after he said it tho.......... my heart hURTS

wat: the wish only drew us to cross paths again. us being together is because of something else, tine: what then? wat: shout out to my homies for being there for me since day one i love u bros

THE FLASHBACK AAAAAAAA I FOUND HIM YES U DID BABYYYYYY

boss’s whistle after he tells them that he only said he would kiss him until he dropped lmaoooooo

“his name is tine. [with the softest voice ever] what a cute name”

manboss looking at each other like this bitch is so gone for this random dude but we’re gonna support him because we’re the only friends he has

wat was probably wishing the pool had water in it so he could throw both of them into it at that moment KJSFHJSFHF

“he’s the one i like” “shiiiiiit” same dim, same

fan dee nAAAAAA

his ass was so gone he was gonna make his ig username lovetine i literally cant believe him

boss having the braincell in this scene i love it

“but earn has a boyfriend” LIES. SO MANY LIES. ITS A GIRL. SHES A WHOLE LESBIAN.

boss once again being the owner of the braincell...... im starting to think he owns it half of the time

“you get it now? us being together is not a coincidence. it’s because of us” WAT YOU SMOOTH FUCKER 3

wait,,,,, tine’s little head tilt,,,,,,, SIR I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU

the stars!!!!!!!!! theyre there!!!!!!

“i think nothing bad is going to happen anymore” honey you got a big storm coming

it ended :’(((((( my beautiful boys i love this episode and drama so much i swear

lets watch the next episode teaser

i dont think tine is gonna lsiten to pam saying that but if he does,,, baby pls dont overthink okay he loves u and wont leave u for anyone in the world

phukong dont come back to him he knows that u like him and will play with ur feelings

type is gonna have to choose between im guessing either a boy interested in him from work or man and im gonna vote for him going with man lets hope i win

WHAT IS WRNOG WITH U BRO GET OUT HES HIS BOYFRIEND OF COURSE HES GOING TO CARE AND WORRY YOURE JSUT A CREEP FOLLOWING HIM AROUND HOPING THAT THEIR RELATIONSHIP ENDS SO U CAN SNEAK IN UGH

“is pam your first love?” WHY DID U END THE TEASER THERE AAAAAAA BITCH

im so glad that the episode comes out today because i Need to know more

okay thats it if anyone read all of this first of all sorry kjshkfj and second of all thank u ,, u didnt have to but u did and ily for that okay bye

[finding-the-daylight]

So, now that my finals are officially over, I am going to proceed to have a drink or two or three and rewatch Eclipse. Here’s (soberly) what I remembered from the film prior to starting this account (since starting this account, posts re:Eclipse have reminded me of things I’m not going to include in this introduction): 

1. Bella is basically playing tic-tac-toe with Edward and Jacob and her feelings for them. She can’t make up her mind. When I watched it the first time, my dad was in the living room half paying attention to it and said she was very selfish. 

2. Edward tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.

3. Jacob tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.

4. Both fight for her affection and even though she’s engaged to Edward, she won’t let go of Jacob.

5. When the newborn army shows up, Bella cuts her arm with a rock.

6. There’s awkward tension in the tent.

That’s literally all I remember of the movie while sober (aside from what I have relearned from posts about Eclipse on this blog). My drunken thoughts will be below the break:

Okay, so this dude I think his name is Riley is lowkey kinda dumb, no offense. Like he just stood there and screamed “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?” This is how all horror movies end badly. You don’t talk back. You run or hide or esape.

THE MEADOW IS SO FUCKING PRETTY. IT’S THE PUREST THING WE HAVE IN THIS FANDOM OMG HE’S PLAYING WITH EHR HAIR AND I JUST WANT SOMEOEN TO PLAY WITH MY HAIR. DAMN BELLA, MY FINALS ARE OVER. SUCKS TO SUCK, DOESN’T IT?

I never noticed the CUllen cuff before, but now thanks to this blog it’s all I’m looking @ lmao. 

I FCKING LOVE CHARLIE TOO MUCH AND HE DESERVED BETTER THIS WHOLE TIME. HE IS SUCH A GOOD FATHER AND HE DESERVES THE BEST.

THERE’S A GLOWING RED LIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW WTF I THINK IT’S THE REFLECTION OF A CAR LIGHT BUT I FUCKING SWEAR

NVM ITS GONE

WHAT THE FUCK EDWARD?? YOU MESSED WITH BELLA’S TRUCK SO SHE COULDN’T SEE HER FRIEND? FUCK. I WOULD’VE DUMPED YOU AND LEFT YOU IN THE WOODS BRO.

Edward sitting with Bella’s friends. We can’t help but stan. He’s still a bitch for the truck thing though. 

I love how Alice looks @ Edward and tells him the party will be fun because she knows nothing bad will happen. But then he reads her mind and looks conerned wtf is ognna happen?

Side note: I really like the lighting in this movie. Everyone has a healthly glow. They lokk happy.

The fucking Volturi always gotta ruin everything. Bitch ass hoes. Ol’ crusty asses acting like some outdated monarchy. Why don’t the vamprires start a democratic government?

Charlie really deserved better. Like I know they couldn’t tell him teh truth but they could’ve been slightly less untruthful prbabl.

I WANNA FIND SOMEONE WHERE MY MOM SAYS WE’RE LIKE MAGNETS WITH EACH OTHER. I WANT SOMEONE TO LOOK @ ME LIKE I’M THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. DAMNIT EDWARD. DAMNIT STEPHENDW. 

Y’ALL ARE TELLING ME THE ENTIRE CULELN CLAM COMBINED COULDN’T TKAE OUT VICTORIA? THIS SHIT IS GETTING UNREALISTIC LMAO.

THE MUSIC THAT STARTS PLAYING WHEN JAKE TURNS AROUND IN THE PARKING LOT SENT ME LMAOOOOO. 

Leah is such a badass and I wnat to be best friends with ehr plase. 

ALSO FCK THIE IMPRINTING STORYLINE. 

SAM AND LEAH WERE HAPPY TOGETHER.

NO BELLA YOU DON’T FUCKING WANNA KNOW WHAT IMPRINTING IS. NONE OF US WANTD WTO KNWO. IT NEVER SHOULDVE BEEN WRITTEN.

Taylor and Kristen are such babies in this movie. They’re so young and precious. WHIH REMINDS ME WHY TF DID SPTHEJNFNWFNA MAKE THIS SEIRESO ABOUT CHIDLREN??!?! I STILL SAY IF THE CHARACTERS HAS BEWNNF MORE MATUEE AND IN LIKE THEIR MID OR LATE TWNETIEMS OR THIRTIS IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER. FIUCKUNG FIGHT ME.

INITING BELLA TO HEAR THE TRIBE’S HISTORIES? THE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION FUCK STEPHEN0AWFJQ. BITCHJ.

SETH IS SO PRECIOUS. AGAIN. THEY’RE ALL SUCH BABIES. THESE POOR CHILDREN.

this hwoel shite is sof ukcing offensie. bitch. listen. why tf did stpehwb fafb have to appropriate cultues like this? BITCH>> you do realize if the legnds are actually like this they’rel ike that because it’s aout defeating yo white as sright? like your’e aware stpehebe ? 

omg bree is so scare d poor baby. literally why did stephenjdbawfbi do this? she just wnated to be ok not hurt anywaon.

exuce me vut CARLISLE IS HOT AS FUCK BITCH

edward is saying some real romantic shit and i sill hate him for the turck thing but like he loves her so much btu he’s stil an asshoel in this smovie

I’M ABOUT TO HATE JACOB I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES I’VE SEEN THE GIFS HOE WE GONNA GIGHT. BITCH SHE JUST TOLD YOU SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU DON’T PUSH HER LIKE THIS. DUMBAS S HOE BITCH. YOU’RE GONNA FIGHT FOR HER? I’M GONNA FUCKIN FIGHT YOU BTCH. I WISH SHE WAS ALREAYD A VAMPIRE SO RTHAT PUNCH WOULDA HURT BITCH YOU DESERVED IT.

THESE FUCKWITS ARE FIGHTING OVER HER AND NOT LISTNEING TO HER THEY ARE BOTCH CANCELLED. BELLA NEEDS TO LEAVE BOTH THESE HOES AND GET A NEW MAN WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW TO LISTNE. BITCHES.

I love Emmett so much. BELLA SHOULD FINA A MAN LIKE HIM. IT’S WHAT SHE DESERVES.

ROSALIE IS ABOUT TO POP TF OFF. SHE IS A QUEEN AND I LVOE AND SUPPORT HER. the saddest thing about this is that she thought her life was perfect and then some fucking asshoes ruiend it. she was so happy. wtf im gonna cry. fuck. i hate sptehej n so much. these gross ass hoes i’m gonna cik all theyre assses. this is so gross i’m so angry literaluy setthing beithc. BUT THEN SHE GETS HER REVENGE AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL. FUCK THOSE BASTARS. but she;s so sad it breaks my heart. she wants to be human so bad. this scene is so sad and it’s theonly good scene in twilight and nikki reed deserves an ocsa like if you agree.

jane and alec more childrne who should’ve been able to be children fck the volturie

why the hel is jessica the fucking valedinact ion? it should’ve been bella they made her seem so damn smart but now she’s not theo ne? i don’ beliee it. but anna kendrick is a gift and now i wanna watch ptiche perfect. CHARLIE is so pure he deserved better and i’m gona kep saying it.

i love those fucking rose colored lamps hanging at the cullens house int he window at hte party scene can anyone link them to me i need? 

why the hell is the wolfpack athe cullesn hosue? this doesnt make sense and it doesn’t seem real am i too drunk and imabginf this?

jno wait it’s real. jake’s appolgoizng.

how fucking conventinet the woflpakc is there hwen alice realizes there abotu to be attacked. this aint realistc. bitc.

why are these kids being forces to act like audls? “I wans;t asking for permission” hoe you’re like 16 go home and go tib ed and odnt go to war.

these woflies gonan kick yo ass edward get tf out

i’m laughign nrow but nothigng funy is happening lmaoooo

fck carlisle is really hot as fuck his jawline kills me

i hate jasper’s hair here i’m sorry i know we all lovehim bt heis hair is a dam nmess

belal is so fuckign negative all the time no one is gonan get killed exceptsvictoris

THE COWBOOIIIII WHY DOES HE LOOKS LIKE OWNE WILSON IN THIS DAMN LIGHTIN? ALICE AND JASPER LOVE EACH TOHER SO MUCH MY APLOGIZKE MAAM FCK IT UP.

why thfe fuck is hake comparing his situaton with leah and sam and emily? We are nto the same hoe wae are not the same. bella is choosing edward sit yo ass down. but i still thin kyall are both problemastic as fuck in thos movie and hse deserves better.

CHARLIES DESEVRS  BTETER THEY KEEP LYIGN EVEN WHEN THEY DUCKGN DONT NEED TO

reblog if you thought edward and bella wre gona fuc, when she went over to his house in eclipse when yo ufirst read the book or saw the movue

he really oes love her a lot though fkcn i’m so alone 

 he looks si sad wgen he mentind ices tea on the porch poor edward

EVERY DANM MOMENR OF FOREVER BITCG I WANT  LOVE LIK THST 

LITERALLY THIS IS THE SUTPEIDEST PLOT EVER. A WHOLE FUCKIN ARMY TOO ATTACK ONE IGRL? BITCH. THIS AINT EVEM A THING. 

im gettign ral tired yall dik if i waill mke it to the end of this movie but i will tru

i hate the enrgey from jae and efard in this tent. ya’ll are both dumb hoes and she could do better than either ofy ou. 

WRHAT THE FUCK FASTER IF YOUR TOOK YORU CLOTHS OFF BITCH WHAT THE FUCK NOW I AM GONNA FUCKIN PUNCH YOU IB HOEP BELLA OUBCHES YOU WHEN SHES A VMAPRIE STUPID HOE 16 YEAR OLD SHOULD BE AT HOME IN BED INSTEAD OF IN A TENT TRYING TO FIGH A FCUKCN WAR

edward is such an emo boi in the tent and he thinsk she doesn;t lve him any more. yo ua stipiud hoe edearf but she still loves you anwyab ithc.

wheb edward said i’m not gonna force her into naythign ever agin i realized he was hte better man good for you eddie you fickun manned up you win

MY REASON FOR ESXITNST HOE I JST WNAT TO BE LOVED

now edwards bene a fuckboi again trying to hurt jake b ymaking sure he knew they were getting maried edward what the fuck iw was just starting to be on your side agian and you let me down like this

jacob is beign an emo boi now jake go be a child @ home and stop this nonsense you’re not a man go be a chid and take a nap and eat some grilled cheese youkk feel better

now she told him she wants to kiss him wtf bella don’t kead this bitch on he’s already in pain let hom gp home and eat a grilled cheese

mow bella’ supsetti spaghetti because edwards know she kissed jake

this shit is so unenecasialr dramtic wht the fuck yall  like a whole army ofver one girl and then its like all everyboyd trying kill everybody this is bulshittheyre all children who should eb at home eating grileld chesses not at war

victoria is a real bitch lying to this boy telling hin she lvoes him hoe bitch

og shit efward ifs pissed now he’s tauntign ab ithc

i acutaly kinda fel bad for riley he wnet through so mcuh and was manipulated i wish the cullens could have adopted him and bree

oshit is the volutire 

SAM DONT FUCKUGN TALK TO LEAH LIKE THAT EVER AGIAN YOU HOE

CARLISE AND I REPEAT AGAIB IS HOT AS FUCK FUCK CARLISRL

I LITERALLY AHTE THE VOLTURIE FOR KILLIGN VREE THEY WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN

JASPER KNOWS WHATS GOOD HE DOESN’T TURST THESE HOES

I’M SO PISEED THAT THE CULLENS NEVER FUCKING IFHT THE VOLTURIE LIKE CARLISLES IS SMART AS FUCK AND EHS TILL WONT START A DEMOCRAY LIKE YALL KNOW ROSLAIE WOULDVE FOGUHT FOR THAT SHIT TOO

 I LVOE YOUDADY CARLISLE

THIS 16 YEAR OLD LYING UP HERE BECAUSE OF TE DUMBASS WAR I TOLD YALL TO GO GOEN AND EA A GRILELD CHEDWE

poor jakie he knows hed better good for her but she reallys loves eward jake deserved better than what he got reblog is youf agree he jst said he’s even love her after she’s a vamprie bruh go eat a grilled chease and love yourself

WERE BACK IN THE FUCKING MEADOW ITS LIT AND ITS LOVELY I WANNA FALL IN LOVE IN A MEADOW WITH A HANDAOME MYSTERIOUS MAN WHO LOVES ME UNCODNITONATLY

KIRSTNE STEQARD IS THE WBEST AND SHE DESERVED AN OSCAR FOR THIS MOVIE HER AND NIKKI REED AND NODBOYD ELSE

fianlly this bitch is gonna beh onest with chalrie took you long enough

that was an anticlamtnc ending but i love love