#( 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐘 — remember why we fight. )

[fervonian]

what answer would your muse give to the trolley problem? if different verses would answer differently , you can choose which you'd like to talk about !

morality & ethical q's. | accepting. ( also asked by @esreal )

i believe that irelia is the type to take action rather than to be passive, as well as to minimize potential harm. she would much rather face the burden of pulling the lever and knowing that one person's death was one hundred percent on her, instead of the alternative of being passive and allowing five people to die because in her eyes, those five people's blood would also be on her hands if she chose to not act.

⠀⠀⠀⠀all this is assuming that the 6 people on the tracks are ionian, by the way. if the choice was between killing one ionian and killing five noxians, i think we all know what irelia is instinctively choosing.

⠀⠀⠀⠀i don't believe many of her verses would be different enough to be worth talking about, aside from perhaps nightblade if she's gone enough in her madness and grief that she doesn't care about human lives anymore... in which case she won't care enough to pull the lever.

[fervonian]

muse handwriting meme! go ( here ) and pick out a font which resembles your muse’s handwriting the closest.

irelia's handwriting speaks to her practicality. it's legible and could be considered pretty ( she doesn't think it's particularly neat ) but most importantly it can be done swftly with brush and inkwell. her father taught irelia her calligraphy skills. when she was younger, her handwriting used to be much neater. but after irelia began her schooling at the placidium, she had less time to actually practice pen to paper writing. her handwriting is perfectly passable for a honororary member of the ionian council. notably, when irelia would write in va-nox, her script is harsher from her pen being pulled across the parchment in a much rougher manner.

[fervonian]

some miscellanious headcanons for the dash today as a treat... maybe some of them won't be angsty.

irelia was primarily homeschooled. it is known in her lore that she received education for silk dancing at the placidium under zinneia's tutelage, but xan lito, her father, encouraged her love for reading both fictional and historical works. standard literacy and numeracy skills are taught to most ionian children, but irelia was raised at a higher standard.

in my canon, blade dancing ( kenbu, 剣舞: sword dance ) as a tool for war was a lost ionian technique that has been revived by irelia as well as ionia's school of silk dancing. the graceful and powerful dances of ionia's history were a tool to defend her people the whole time. as for the forty - two forms irelia mentioned, they have been developed over time by herself and other accomplished dancers during and after the first war. many are extrapolated from old texts, but all have been tested in combat.

incorporating irelia's tie in with life and death from her old lore, irelia did come very close to death in her battle against admiral duqal: the man responsible for the massacre of her family & village. that experience contributed heavily to her losing most of her brash attitude, her brush with death combined with her actually acknowledging just how many people are counting on her is what ultimately tempered irelia's self sacrificial streak.

irelia has a tattoo of the xan family crest on her spine. another way she remembers her family is by a custom crafted necklace. the piece is eight coloured glass beads with a thin gold chain threaded through them. after her relationship with liana, she would likely get a flower & sword tattoo on her arm.

aside from her signature flying blades, irelia is an accomplished sword fighter. she can also use the bow and arrow, albeit at a lower standard than she would prefer. the captain of the guard had undergone a lot of strength training in order to feel comfortable swinging a more traditional sword around. in kenbu, strength isn't strictly unnecessary but it is secondary to flexibility, endurance, and stamina.

[fervonian]

" the only honest noxian is a dead noxian." " i've never killed a person… just a lot of noxians." " soon, they will grieve in your village. "

writing some riven and irelia interactions has gotten me to think about how she feels about noxus/noxians... needless to say that she hates them with every fiber of her being. it is a deeply rooted hatred that she will very likely never back down from. any noxian she meets upon the battlefield is mere blade fodder to her. while irelia will ( ...almost ) never go out of her way to be cruel in her culling of noxian warmongers, she shows no mercy or hesitation towards them if given the slightest cause.

i do think that some of these voicelines are ones that she'd only say when she's in the midst of battle, or when performing a speech... unless somebody decides to really piss her off. many of her taunting voicelines read as rather juvenile to me, and my personal interpretation is that irelia's temper mellows out over time, except that of course, she finds it hard to show anything aside from contempt towards noxians.

riding the coattails of this post as well as the followup by @tacetferrum, irelia has plenty of reason to distrust the nation of noxus; but her unanimous hatred of its people is very much unreasonable... it is a hatred which she has no plans of ever unlearning - especially if riot does decide to follow through with the second noxian invasion of ionia. when it comes to noxian people, she is very wary of even children. we can even see how she treats defectors from a surprising source; her taunt line towards xin-zhao is quite an aggressive one.

" once an ionian, always an ionian. you'll never be one of them. "

in many ways, this mindset is very much how she feels about any noxian soldiers who stayed behind in ionia - which of course includes riven. in any other circumstance, she theoretically can recognize that a corrupt leader's rule does not make every one of its citizens wicked... but most of the time, she doesn't want to. irelia is a well-read woman and can be reasoned with on most subjects, but any noxian-born will take a long, long time to earn her respect, if they ever have the patience to do so.

" killing you won't bring them back… but it still felt good. "

this is a specific voiceline which points to how deep her scars are. war has undoubtedly made irelia a worse person in her own heart. over the course of the war, irelia has come to acknowledge that while violence is not something that she wants to come easily to her, she experienced an unmistakable sense of satisfaction at culling any noxian she came across. granted, her eagerness for blood does quiet down as the years drag on and she matures from her youthful brashness.

[fervonian]

what chess piece represents you? link.

you are a white bishop. there is something you believe in, be it an oath, a phrase, a promise. it's what keeps the bishop on the diagonal path it takes on the board. you live by this creed and infect others with it. you are empathetic, able to feel others' pain like it's your own, and offer advice or help to them. but be careful, because every bleeding heart runs out of blood eventually. every leader crumbles to the next generation eventually.

[fervonian]

🎧

send in a 🎧 & i'll randomly pick a song along with which lyrics i think symbolize them the most! / accepting.

➤⠀⠀⠀phoenix by caitlin russo & chrissy constanza

arm  yourself,  a  storm  is  coming well,  kid,  what  you  gonna  do  now? it's  your  reflection  looking  back  to  pull  you  down so  are  you  gonna  die  today  or  make  it  out  alive? you  gotta  conquer  the  monster  in  your  head  and  then  you'll  fly // and  now  you're  playing  with  matches come  out  of  the  ashes  underneath  you a  million  voices  in  the  crowd  they're  screaming,  "stop,  now"

⠀⠀⠀⠀the  invasion  gave  ionia  no  choice  but  to  take  up  arms,  and  young  irelia  was  one  of  too  many  children  caught  in  the  conflict.  from  the  moment  she  returned  home  to  the  sight  of  her  slaughtered  family,  even  amidst  all  of  her  grief,  she  knew  she  wanted  to  do  something,  anything  to  help  with  the  war  effort.

⠀⠀⠀⠀self  doubt  is  of  course  an  old  friend  to  irelia  -  the  immense  emotional  toll  from  partially  leading  the  resistance  effort  against  noxus,  as  well  as  all  the  pressure  that  arises  from  being  in  such  a  position  as  well  as  essentially  being  a  living  myth,  a  figure  elevated  upon  an  untouchable  pedestal…  it  must  have  been  overwhelming.

⠀⠀⠀⠀but  in  the  end,  irelia  rose  from  the  ashes  and  became  a  hero  of  her  people  (  albeit  a  large  part  of  that  wasn't  by  her  own  choice  )  and  to  me,  the  voices  in  the  crowd  refer  to  the  factions  of  ionia  that  are  opposed  to  her.

[fervonian]

do you guys ever think about how irelia has lost so many people dear to her that she now displays selfish behaviours prior to and when in a relationship... how she has trouble differentiating if she views somebody in a familial manner or if the tugging at her heart is a sign of her wanting something more because of how she lost her family at such a young age & has been chasing that kind of unreplaceable familiarity ever since?

⠀⠀⠀⠀or how she finds it difficult to open up and truly be vulnerable to any romantic partner / partners because she's grown used to masking her pain for the sake of others since she was a young girl?

⠀⠀⠀⠀or how she lived her life dancing to the tune of other people's songs and can't quite be sure what part of her is who she is, and what part of her is a learned behaviour from trying to emulate that idealistic image of an untouchable figure up on a pedestal, one who is beautiful and talented yet still humble and down to earth, one who can be a caring figure and yet somehow possess the strength and clarity of mind to lead an army into battle?

[fervonian]

— study. xan irelia

tagged by: i stole it like a little rat tagging: anybody who wants to do this!

—  basics.

➤ ⠀⠀⠀is your muse tall / short / average?⠀⠀standing at 5'7', irelia is probably considered a bit taller than average.

➤ ⠀⠀⠀are they okay with their height?⠀⠀while irelia can be self conscious of her image, her height was never something that bothered her. whilst growing up, her growth spurt arrived earlier than it did for her twin brother kye, and she grew to be only a little shorter than zelos. when irelia begun her formal dance training, she grew to be a little conscious of her lanky form, specifically her long legs. nowadays irelia certainly has more things to be preoccupied over instead of something as trivial as her height.

➤ ⠀⠀⠀what's their hair like?⠀⠀ever since she was young, irelia has been taught to take care of her appearance. her role as a dancer has been integral to her identity for a long time. her hair is especially beautiful; black strands like silk that run almost to her waist, the colour remniscent of high grade calligraphy ink. under the sun, it shines faintly blue.

➤ ⠀⠀⠀do they spend a lot of time on their hair / grooming?⠀⠀irelia's hair is quite long now, but she has gone through a few hairstyle changes throughout the years. when irelia was young, her o - ma would often tie it up as to ' see her darling little helper's face better ' as the two spent time together. after the war began, irelia would leave her hair out until one day she cut her hair short. nowadays, she keeps it at an elegant and practical length — occasionally putting it up in a tight bun. irelia takes good care of her personal hygiene, and enjoys taking baths & caring for her hair, washing and brushing it while she hums songs that remind her of home and a life she had lost.

➤ ⠀⠀⠀does your muse care about their appearance / what others think?⠀⠀yes, but not in a way that can lead to overt self consciousness. she is confident in her looks, and graciously accepts compliments she's offered. irelia plays the dual roles of important public figure as well as a performer — meaning double the scrutiny. she still deals with some nerves during public appearances, but she's become quite a convincing actor. the xan irelia that the public sees is a carefully sculpted version of herself, and it takes more than persistence to see behind her walls.

—  preferences.

➤⠀⠀⠀indoors  or  outdoors?⠀⠀indoors. ➤⠀⠀⠀rain  or  sunshine?⠀⠀sunshine. ➤⠀⠀⠀forest  or  beach?⠀⠀forest. ➤⠀⠀⠀precious  metals  or  gems?⠀⠀metals. ➤⠀⠀⠀flowers  or  perfumes?⠀⠀flowers. ➤⠀⠀⠀personality  or  appearance?⠀⠀personality. ➤⠀⠀⠀being  alone  or  being  in  a  crowd?⠀⠀being alone. ➤⠀⠀⠀order  or  anarchy?⠀⠀order. ➤⠀⠀⠀painful  truths  or  white  lies?⠀⠀painful truths. ➤⠀⠀⠀science  or  magic?⠀⠀magic. ➤⠀⠀⠀peace  or  conflict?⠀⠀peace. ➤⠀⠀⠀night  or  day?⠀⠀night. ➤⠀⠀⠀dusk  or  dawn?⠀⠀dawn. ➤⠀⠀⠀warmth  or  cold?⠀⠀warmth. ➤⠀⠀⠀many  acquaintances  or  a  few  close  friends?⠀⠀a few close friends. ➤⠀⠀⠀reading  or  playing  a  game?⠀⠀reading.

—  questionnaire.

➤⠀⠀⠀what  are  some  of  your  muse’s  bad  habits?⠀⠀while she is generally a pretty well - rounded and caring woman, she of course has more than her fair share of baggage and habits from her traumatic past. she is reluctant to open up emotionally, and dislikes asking for help. adding onto that, she is prone to overworking herself as she often takes on more work than she should handle alone. accustomed to bottling up her emotions, she isolates herself out of habit. irelia can fall into periods of melancholy if she doesn't have anything to preoccupy her mind and / or her hands with. she's a stickler for rules & traditions, and can be quite stubborn.

➤⠀⠀⠀has  your  muse  lost  anyone  close  to  them?  how  has  it  affected  them?⠀⠀too many to count. to this day, the loss of her family aches like a phatom limb. irelia has lost many to the war, be it family or friends or lovers. her past is a long, winding tapestry of unanswered questions and what - ifs. but life goes on, and she has been dedicating her every act towards building a testament to her devotion for everybody she has lost.

➤⠀⠀⠀what  are  some  fond  memories  your  muse  has?⠀⠀many of irelia's happy memories are from when her family was alive, crazily enough. ( link, tw for discussion of war & ptsd ) she does have other memories she cherishes. forming a connection with lady karma, who was a great source of comfort. reconnecting with dancing & performing after all the bloodshed was over & being able to share the artform with new students; fresh faces that are shy yet eager to learn, reminding irelia so much of herself as a child & giving her hope for the future.

➤⠀⠀⠀is  it  easy  for  your  muse  to  kill?⠀⠀yes, almost disturbingly so on a purely physical level. irelia is experienced with the mechanisms of taking lives; what angle her palm should be at while manipulating her blades, how far apart her feet need to be in order to keep her balance yet retain the ability to swiftly leap away if called for, the tell - tale sign of nerves in her enemies' eyes as they face the blade mistress of navori, a living tempest of metal is no match for mere men. the war may have hardened her walls, and she tells herself that it must be done... but she still distances herself from the act. when it comes to ionians, she's especially reluctant to resort to violence & will attempt negotiations or subduing them first, but if peaceful means won't work then she will do what must be done.

➤⠀⠀⠀what’s  it  like  when  your  muse  breaks  down?⠀⠀firstly, irelia will very, very rarely break down in public. she's a highly composed figure & while she will still show a glimpse into her psyche every now and then, breakdowns are reserved for when the storm passes and she has the time to process her grief / anger. but when she truly loses her composure, it is not a pretty sight. an example of a breakdown would be her reaction to finally exacting her vengeance on the man who killed her family & destroyed her village, admiral duqal. filled with rage and tempestuous fury, she fell upon the noxian commander as more of a beast than woman — slashing and stabbing him in a far crueler manner than she normally ever would. after her anger passed, it numbed her to everything. it took her a few days to regain her composure.

➤⠀⠀⠀is  your  muse  capable  of  trusting  someone  with  their  life?⠀⠀yes, but tentatively. having fought in multiple battles, it is necessary to rely on the ones she fights alongside, but irelia is generally very independent & frankly is more used to other people trusting her with their lives instead... as much as that thought burdens her to this day.

➤⠀⠀⠀what’s  your  muse  like  when  they’re  in  love?⠀⠀throughout all of irelia's life thus far, to love is to lose — yet she cannot help but open her heart again & again. it's gotten much harder for her to let down her walls, but it has never been hard for irelia to care for others. romantic love is more difficult & takes a sturdy friendship to develop first. but if irelia does fall for somebody, she falls hard. she smiles in their presence, a warm and caring glow shining upon her face. she allocates times in the day to spend solely with them & not have her work distract her. she's always been the protective type, but she will be extra watchful over them in particular. irelia just becomes... happier, and spirits know she deserves it after the life she's lived.

[fervonian]

some  assorted  high  noon  verse  things,  a  few  of  these  were  mentioned  on  my  old  bloggie  but  i  want  to  elaborate  on  some  points.

her  identity  as  a  fallen  angel  in  this  verse  is  so  interesting  to  me  &  honestly  i'll  be  focusing  less  on  the  cowboy  fantasy  &  more  on  the  interplay  between  the  divine  /  the  unholy  /  the  mortal.  the  fall  from  grace  is  a  trope  that  i  adore  exploring  her  in.  her  struggles  with  her  identity  in  her  main  verse  are  reflected  in  how  she  was  created  as  an  angel,  a  divine  being  with  a  purpose,  and  she's  now  a  shell  of  who  she  once  was.  (  sorry  not  sorry  that  i'm  a  fiend  for  angst  )

[ gore  /  violence  /  kinda  cannibalism?  mention  tw. ]  the  destruction  of  heaven  was  not  a  painless  process.  as  the  land  below  became  overrun  by  devils  and  more  people  lost  their  faith,  chaos  also  brewed  in  the  heavenly  kingdom.  many  angels  including  irelia  herself  were  anxious  to  help  humankind,  but  were  forbidden  to  do  so.  it's  unclear  how  but  heaven  was  stormed  by  humanity,  leading  to  the  fall.  perhaps  irelia’s  escape  may  be  considered  lucky  by  some,  but  she  was  grievously  injured  in  the  fall.  in  order  to  survive,  irelia  consumed  the  flesh  and  blood  of  devils  she  killed,  thus  becoming  tainted  by  darkness  as  a  result. she probably wouldn't turn down just about anybody's blood if she is injured enough, but be warned that it is difficult for her to stop once she has begun feeding.

similar  to  how  irelia  would  be  affected  by  people  around  her  (  namely  karma  )  in  her  main  verse,  if  she  does  not  come  across  ashe  and  /  or  senna  in  her  journey  she's  likely  to  be  pretty  bitter  towards  any  human  she  encounters.  varus is an interesting case, as he is a dead angel who now fights against humanity. i can see her joining forces with him, becoming a vengeful angel herself. irelia's  attitude  towards  devils  and  demons  is...  complicated.  her  instinct  is  to  rid  the  world  of  unholy  beings,  but  it  gets  a  little  muddy  when  she's  as  blighted  as  she  is  now.

the  blades  she  uses  are  holy  relics.  a  less  -  corrupted  irelia  found  them  abandoned  in  a  church  that  had  been  desecrated  by  humans,  and  she  originally  wasn't  intending  on  using  them  —  but  they  came  alive  at  her  touch  and  they  haven't  rejected  her  yet,  much  to  her  surprise.  if  the  blades  still  recognize  her  as  someone  worthy  of  their  powers;  something  holy,  however  tainted,  surely  there  must  be  hope  for  her  yet.  she  theorises  that  they  may  have  been  created  by  humans  as  a  means  of  fending  off  demons,  but  were  abandoned  by  its  intended  master  along  with  their  faith.  the  blades  act  as  a  reminder  of  her  original  duty...  and  how  far  she's  fallen.

[fervonian]

as  always  i'm  feeling  very  normal  about  irelia  today  (lying  through  my  teeth)  so  i  wanted  to  take  a  look  at  some  of  her  quotes  because  this  post  made  me  have  many  thoughts  and  i  wish  to  share...

⠀⠀⠀⠀a  chosen  prophet  destined  for  martyrdom.  while  irelia  doesn't  quite  fit  in  with  the  chosen  one  archetype,  her  survival  was  a  miracle.  the  battle  at  the  placidium  was  an  unprecedented  victory,  but  even  before  this,  the  warband  that  destroyed  her  village  but  underestimated  irelia  &  allowed  her  to  flee  after  she  killed  and  injured  many  of  their  soldiers;  they  could  have  ordered  to  have  her  captured  and  killed.  something  else  i  wanted  to  note  is  that  in  her  old  lore,  she  was  actually  saved  by  soraka,  and  then  chosen  by  the  people  to  be  a  leader,  something  i  have  chosen  to  keep  in  my  portrayal.  (  link  to  her  old  lore  here  )

⠀⠀⠀⠀while  irelia  isn't  burdened  by  a  prophecy  that  ties  her  fate  with  becoming  martyred,  a  few  of  her  voice  lines  in  game  seem  to  be  tied  with  her  musing  upon  her  own  life.  the  quotes  "  i  have  but  one  life  to  give  for  ionia.  i  must  make  it  count  “  and  ”  live  today  like  you're  going  to  die  tomorrow  "  come  to  mind;  viewing  her  life  as  something  to  be  sacrificed  for  everyone,  fighting  like  there's  no  tomorrow  for  her..  with  every  word,  she's  suggesting  that  just  maybe,  becoming  a  martyr  wouldn't  be  such  a  bad  fate  after  all.  as  long  as  her  death  would  mean  something,  she  would  gladly  sacrifice  it  because  her  life  has  already  had  meaning.  if  she  was  more  of  an  idea  and  less  of  a  person,  perhaps  that  would  be  a  big  step  toward  uniting  ionia.

⠀⠀⠀⠀a  child  prodigy  forced  to  grow  up  too  fast.  ah,  irelia  to  a  tee.  she  was  not  so  much  a  prodigy  on  the  battlefield,  but  a  talented  student  of  silk  dancing  who  would  become  the  one  to  reawaken  the  art  of  blade  dancing  when  she  realised  that  the  techniques  she  learned  as  a  child  could  be  used  as  an  art  of  war.  irelia  was  the  elder's  favourite  student  as  she  learned  and  perfected  all  forty  -  two  forms,  and  when  it  came  time  to  defend  her  homeland,  using  the  techniques  she  was  taught  &  excelled  at  was  only  natural.

⠀⠀⠀⠀not  only  was  irelia  forced  to  grow  up  as  a  result  of  the  war,  but  her  own  people  pushed  for  her  to  become  a  leader.  "  none  can  do  what  i  do;  so  i  will  do  it.  "  the  brave  and  capable  leader  of  the  ionian  resistance  was  only  in  her  early  teens  when  she  became  a  freedom  fighter;  needless  to  say  that  she  didn't  have  much  of  a  childhood.  she  puts  on  a  nigh  impenetrable  front,  a  persona  of  a  leader  that  her  people  need  to  see  from  her,  but  underneath  it  all  she's  still  that  same  broken  girl  who  found  her  family  buried  in  their  garden.

⠀⠀⠀⠀a  powerful  warrior  raised  as  nothing  but  a  weapon.  her  blades  act  as  another  aspect  of  her  dehumanisation,  how  she's  called  ‘the  blade  witch’  by  her  detractors  is  especially  messed  up  when  considering  that  the  blades  she  is  most  known  for  are  actually  the  shattered  remnants  of  her  family's  crest  —  the  last  connection  she  has  with  her  family.  irelia  is  treated  as  a  weapon,  a  symbol.  the  person  she  would  have  once  wanted  to  become  when  she  was  a  child  stands  diametrically  opposed  to  who  she  feels  like  she  has  become;  a  ruthless  fighter  who  finds  satisfaction  &  even  enjoyment  in  the  act  of  murder.

⠀⠀⠀⠀"  when  no  one's  around,  i  dance  for  myself.  "  her  dances  are  also  dear  to  her,  as  she  was  taught  by  her  grandmother  who  she  was  very  close  to.  for  a  long  time,  irelia  would  have  felt  guilty  over  using  her  dances  to  kill,  even  after  it  was  officially  recognised  as  a  martial  artform.  she  deeply  fears  the  judgement  and  rejection  by  the  image  of  her  family  in  her  head,  even  if  she  is  resolute  in  her  resolve  to  fight  back  against  noxian  invaders.

⠀⠀⠀⠀anyway  tl;dr  irelia  can  fit  so  much  trauma  inside  her  also  please  give  her  hugs.

[fervonian]

i’ve always been a big fan of magical tattoos / markings that aid with the channeling of arcane forces. when i wrote syndra, she would paint runes along her arms if she was attempting a powerful spell or ritual that required precision — she has the raw power but obviously that can be dangerous and volatile. this led into me musing about how irelia uses magic again; how she may have felt about it before her awakening, how her first true experience with her own magic was during the most painful time of her life & how explosive that power must have been, drawing fuel from her emotions and desire to seek the power that she will need to attain vengeance. i think it would have scared her as much as she was grateful for the spirit for guiding her hand in that pivotal moment.

⠀⠀⠀⠀but anyway, irelia would not choose to mark herself in that way. while she does have a tattoo to honour her family & her commitment to ionia, there’s a conflict between how she does not see herself as a mage or as a soldier, but still she is determined to do whatever it takes to defend ionia. rather than marking her own body, i think a nice compromise would be carving inscriptions onto her blades instead. combining weapon - smithing with the study of magic is pretty cool imo. the runes could aid irelia with channeling her magic into them while she dances, or have other beneficial effects. i highly doubt she would use destructive magic to augment her blades, that seems similar to coating weapons with poison… it doesn’t feel like her style. but this leaves a nice space for me to come up with another oc as well, somebody she trusts to do the metalworking for her, or maybe some mentor who taught her how to choose the appropriate runes for her blades.

⠀⠀⠀⠀only tangentially related but i think it would be cool for her to name each individual blade but we’ll see how i feel about that when i have to come up with a bunch of names.

[fervonian]

𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐁𝐋𝐄  ⸻  originally  posted  mar.  17,  2019,  slightly  edited.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀a   dance   at   sunset.

reaching  out  her  hand,  irelia  shields  the  flickering  flame  from  the  wind  as  she  lights  the  last  candle.  a  slow  breath  is  released  as  she  transfers  it  to  the  awaiting  lantern  and  closes  the  latch  on  the  structure  with  a  soft  click.  though  constructed  from  long  wooden  twigs  &  paper,  its  structure  is  firm.  unlike  other  ionian  crafts,  these  vessels  are  not  built  to  last.  after  the  ceremony  is  complete,  they  will  sink  to  the  bottom of the lake, & eventually decompose into the banks.  that  is  the  way  of  the  spirit.

⠀⠀⠀⠀the  sun  is  just  beginning  to  set  as  she  begins  her  prayer.  the  dancer  kneels  by  the  water’s  edge,  alone  and  yet  surrounded  by  her  loved  ones  as  they  glow  faintly  against  the  dusk.  her  hair  isn't  tied  up  today,  strands  of  black  silk  fan  out  around  her,  draping  over  her  bare  shoulders  -  there  is  no  need  to  bear  the  mantle  on  this  occasion.  she  reaches  out  for  the  spirit  first,  a  key  reason  why  she  still  possesses  the strength  to  keep  fighting.  after  offering  her  gratitude,  irelia  moves  onto  each  members  of  her  family  as  she  floats  the  lanterns  out  onto  the  water.

⠀⠀⠀⠀from  youngest  to  oldest,  she  prays.  ruu,  ohn,  kye,  zelos,  yulan,  lito,  xiujuan.  she  remembers.  she  sings.  she  promises.  she  laughs.  but  she  does  not  weep. none  of  them  want  her  to  experience  any more anguish.  when  the  seventh  lantern  leaves  her  hands,  a  gust  of  wind  sweeps  across  the  water’s  surface  &  causes  all  of  the  lights  to  float  away  from  the  water’s  edge,  away  from  irelia.

⠀⠀⠀⠀may  the  spirit  guide  your  souls.  may  you  rest  in  harmony.  i  will  carry  this  burden  for  you,  until  i  join  you  again  at  the  end  of  my  days.

⠀⠀⠀⠀she’s  performed  this  ceremony  annually,  always  on  this  day.  it’s  bittersweet;  her  awakening  as  a  blade  dancer  &  the  brutal  culling  of  all  those  dear  to  her  on  the  same  day.  the  first  time  irelia performed this,  it  was  under  the  advice  of  karma.  she  had  personally  accompanied  the  young  woman  to  this  lake,  and  had  bought  the  intricately  decorated  lanterns.  she  fondly  remembers  the  words  of  comfort  the  older  woman  offered,  the  blossoming  feeling  of  warmth  amidst  all  the  hopelessness  & anger roiling in the pit of her stomach.

⠀⠀⠀⠀enough  of  this,  her  audience  awaits.  pushing  herself  from  the  ground,  she  brushes  her  garments  as  she  takes  her  position.  and  as  the  sun  sinks  beneath  the  horizon,  the  dance  begins.  as  always,  she  pours  herself  into  her  performance,  under  the  twinkling  eyes  of  starlight  &  the  drifting  lanterns.  her  feet  tap  & swipe  across  the  ground,  body  twirling  and  expanding,  rising  dipping  to  a  rhythm  only  she  can  hear  as  the  silk  ribbons  woven  to  her  garments  spin  and  create  delicate trails  in  the  air.

⠀⠀⠀⠀and  when  the  dance  concludes,  something  inside  of  her  mends  a  little  more.  the  lanterns  are  far  away  now,  having  floated  towards  the  center  of  the  lake.  irelia  watches  as  the  flames  flicker  faintly,  her  breath  returns  to  it’s  normal  rhythm  as  the  darkness  fully  settles  over  the  sky.  she  isn't  magically  healed  from  a  personal  ritual  like  this,  but  her  heart  does  feel  a  little  warmer.  for  now,  this  will  have  to  be  enough.