#'you're gonna feel sooo much better' and style me heterosexually 😑
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It's crazy being 30 and still filled with closeted preteen levels of homosexual shame and dread at even the thought of having one of those pretty straight women washing my hair but we move
#this is so mega depressing sorry but as a kid I hated my body so much I refused all touch because I didn't want other people#to have to deal with the surely disgusting act of touching me lol. so anything where I would have to be touched too much felt really#mentally & physically unbearable to me. but Livia was sooo beautiful 🥺 hair down to her ass and wide hips and sad brown eyes#and she'd complain about her boyfriend Giovanni to me while I sat there quiet and ashamed & I remember how it felt when she'd lean forward#to cut the front of my hair and her chest would be close to my face and I could feel the heat of her against my knee!#I've talked about her before but such core memories truly. I liked her so much I let her cut off all my hair for donation#But no other hairdresser has made the ordeal worth it...I always sit there like one of those horribly neglected matted dogs as they say#'you're gonna feel sooo much better' and style me heterosexually 😑
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