#'you need to get a job' it really leaves me feeling. bad lol

[burger-goblin]

.

[sebscore]

ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?

pairings: f1 grid x driver!reader (she/her pronouns)

warnings: angst. angst. angst. swearing. like a lot of swearing. i cannot write crashes/contact for the life of me. argument. lando and reader are assholes in this. 

author's note: dont even ask me why i wrote this, i got inspired and needed it out of my system. lol. 

masterlist

''Retire the car. Too much damage. Sorry, Y/N.'' Marco informed her over the radio, sounding frustrated and apologetic over her already finished race. 

The driver took a deep breath before answering. ''Too bad, it was going well. Thanks, guys.'' 

Her race had in fact been going well. She'd made a great start going from P4 to P2, and had managed to keep up with the Red Bull of Max. They weren't even halfway in the race or Lando tried overtaking her, causing contact, causing her to run off in the gravel with too much trouble on the car to continue. 

In her opinion, it had been reckless. The McLaren driver knew exactly she would end up being forced off the track by the overtake, and that her race would most likely be over because of it. 

As she trudged back to the garage, helmet in hand, she could barely contain her frustration. The team greeted her with sympathetic looks, but she didn't stop to talk to anyone. She headed straight for her driver's room, needing a moment to cool off before she could face the media. 

Her hands trembled with anger as she peeled off her gloves, tossing them onto a nearby chair. The season hadn't been going how she had hoped or even expected it to go. Last year she had been the vice World Champion, the undisputed second-best driver on the grid, the only one to essentially have been able to challenge Max's dominance. Now, she got lucky to even end up in the top five of a race. Her team's design of the car hadn't been meeting the expectations the engineers had set, and upgrades weren't helping in the way they had hoped. 

That is why this race weekend had been a great boost for the team's morale and confidence. Qualifying had gone really well, and for a moment they were able to fight for the win even. But the papaya car of No. 4 had shoved their hopes down the drain. 

Minutes later, there was a knock on the door. She turned to see Marco standing there, looking concerned. ''You okay?'' 

''Have I ever been okay,'' she remarked, a sarcastic chuckle leaving her lips. ''I'm just pissed, that's all. I had high hopes for today.'' 

''We all did,'' he smiled sadly. ''The stewards reviewed the incident, but he, uh, didn't get a penalty.'' He said softly, almost as if he was afraid of her reaction.

The young woman let out a bitter laugh. ''Of course he didn't, why would he?'' Her hands covered her face, briefly wiping off the sweat that had formed. 

Marco took a step closer, his expression a mix of empathy and disappointment. ''You drove brilliantly out there. Everyone saw it. The team saw it. It's just... racing politics sometimes.'' 

She dropped her hands, meeting his eyes with a mixture of anger and resignation. ''It's always like that, though. It's always the same drivers suffering the consequences of others, and they don't get shit for it. It is fucking annoying.'' 

Her engineer nodded, understanding everything she was saying. ''I know, we all know. But we keep fighting. We keep pushing. This season isn't over yet.'' 

''Yeah, true.'' She sighed. 

Marco gave her a reassuring smile. ''We'll be ready for the next race. We're all in this together, okay? We're all behind you.'' 

She nodded, feeling a small measure of comfort in his words. ''Thanks, I appreciate it.'' They shared a quick embrace, before he left to join the team again. Meanwhile she got herself ready to go to the media pen. As much as she wanted to hide away, she knew it was part of the job. 

Since she had an early exit, there wasn't much activity inside the area, though there were a bunch of reporters waiting for her. 

''Y/N, tough race today. Can you tell us what happened from your perspective?'' The reporter asked after briefly greeting her. 

''Yeah, it was, uh, challenging, I guess,'' she plastered a smile on her face. ''We had a great start, moving up to P2 and keeping pace with Max. Then, yeah, the contact with Lando. The car had a bunch of damage, and we decided to just retire the car.'' 

''Do you think it was a fair move by him?'' He followed up. 

She paused, weighing her response. ''Racing is always intense, especially at this level. I don't think it was the right move to make, but the stewards saw it as a racing incident.  I'll respect their decision, but it doesn't make it any less frustrating.'' 

''You and Lando are good friends, and have been racing against each other since your karting days. Will you talk to him afterwards or just forget about it?'' 

They had expected a question like this, so the media-trained answer came out very quickly. ''It was deemed a racing incident, so there is not much to say further about it.'' 

''How do you and your team plan to bounce back from this setback?'' The reporter for Sky Sports changed the topic. 

''We'll regroup and come back stronger,'' she answered, injecting as much determination into her voice as she could muster. ''This season has been tough, but my team and I are committed to pushing forward. We learn from every race, and today is no different.'' 

''That's great, thank you, Y/N.'' They wrapped up the interview, and she moved onto a new one. 

Once she had spoken to everyone she needed to speak to, she finally had a moment to herself. She knew the words she had just spoken were the right ones, but they did little to soothe the turmoil inside her. 

It didn't help that Lando managed to take the lead, and eventually get his first win. As she watched the remainder of the race from the sidelines, her emotions were all over the place. On the one hand, she was proud of her friend for finally making his dream come true. However, it had come at the expense of her race. She had pushed so hard this season, and to see her friend and rival celebrate his triumph while she stood there with nothing but frustration was almost unbearable. 

The cheers from the McLaren garage echoed in her ears. They celebrated wildly, the joy of his long-awaited victory palpable even from a distance. He was swarmed by his team as they shouted his name. 

The podium ceremony was even worse. As Lando stood on the top step, the British national anthem playing in the background, she couldn't help but replay the moment that had ended her race. She could see the excitement in his eyes, the genuine happiness that came with achieving a lifelong dream. But all she could think about was the contact, the gravel trap, and the wrecked potential of what could have been her race. 

Under any other circumstance, she would have been there for him. She would have run to the ceremony herself, just like he had done for her when she got her first win in F1 and made history as the first woman to do so. But it just stung too deep. 

''Lando, there was an incident with Y/N that resulted in her retiring from the race. Can you tell us what happened there?'' The Dutch reporter asked the race winner. 

Lando's expression shifted slightly, the euphoria dimming just a bit. ''Uh, yeah. I saw a gap and went for it. It was a tight move, and unfortunately, it led to some contact. But that's racing, you know.'' 

''Have you spoken to her yet?'' 

''Not yet,'' he admitted. ''But I don't think there is much to talk about.'' He chuckled, quickly glancing sideways, but his laugh seemed forced.

''She told Sky Sports that she didn't think you made the right move there.'' The journalist said, instigating a headline for them to be able to use. 

Lando frowned at his words, but recovered. ''Well, that's her opinion. It was just racing for me.'' 

''So you don't regret making the move?'' The reporter pressed on. 

The Brit took a deep breath before answering. ''I regret that it ended her race. But as a racer, you have to take chances. It's a fine line, you know.''

The older man in front of him nodded at his response, knowing they had gotten a glimpse of the tension that was present between the fan-favorite duo. ''Thank you, Lando. Congratulations again.'' 

''Thank you.'' 

With that, the interview wrapped up, and Lando moved onto the next reporter. As he walked away, he couldn't shake the feeling of unease. He didn't think he had done anything wrong, so why was everyone talking to him as if he had done something wrong? 

Y/N was struggling to unwind. The events of the day played over and over in her mind, each replay more frustrating than the last. She tried to distract herself by either watching some TikToks or TV, but nothing could drown out her thoughts. The texts from her friends, family and team certainly didn't help. It was a nice gesture, but she didn't want to think about the race anymore and the messages weren't helping. Finally, she decided to call it a night and climbed into bed, hoping sleep would offer some respite. 

Just as she was starting to drift off, another knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. It was unusual for someone to bother her this late, especially when she was winding down in her hotel room.

She frowned and got out of bed, opening the door to find Lando standing there, wearing his signature grin, acting nonchalant as ever. ''You wanna come celebrate with us? We rented a club.'' 

Y/N frowned at him, confused over his casual behavior. ''No.'' She scoffed, offended by the mere thought. 

It was now Lando's turn to frown at his friend. ''Why?'' 

She crossed her arms, incredulous at his obliviousness. ''Why? Are you taking the fucking piss out of me or something.'' 

His grin faltered slightly, but he tried to maintain his composure. ''If this is about the racing incident then you're being ridiculous.'' 

Her eyes widened in disbelief, her frustration boiling over. ''I am being ridiculous? You were ridiculous with that move you pulled!'' She retorted, raising her voice. ''You ran me off the track knowing how hard this season has fucking been for me. You know how much I needed a good result today and you ruined it for me!'' 

''Y/N, I get that you're upset, but it's racing. These things are bound to happen. I saw a gap and I went for it. The stewards didn't even penalize me, so clearly, it wasn't as bad as you're making it out to be.'' He was restraining from rolling his eyes, she could tell. 

She scoffed, shaking her head. ''Oh, so now you're agreeing with the stewards? Now that it is benefitting you? And there was no fucking gap, you were just being selfish. You knew what you were doing, and you didn't care how it would affect me.'' 

Lando's face hardened, his patience wearing thin. ''I didn't do it on purpose to screw you over, where the fuck are you getting that from? I saw an opportunity, and I took it. That's what we do out there. You know that better than anyone." 

''If that opportunity was ruining my fucking race, then yeah, you really took the opportunity, Norris.'' She rolled her eyes, voice tinged with sarcasm. 

He took a step closer, his frustration now matching hers. ''I'm sorry that you didn't get the result you wanted today, I really am. But I am not going to apologize for racing and doing my job, Y/N.'' 

She simply glared at him, disappointed in how he was acting towards her. They'd never really had an argument before, at least not one where they couldn't see each other's point. They'd been frustrated with each other before, but it was always in reason. 

''If anything, I should be angry with you- not the other way.'' Lando suddenly said. 

''Why's that?'' She sneered, almost in disbelief that he would have a valid reason. 

''Because you didn't even have the fucking guts to congratulate me,'' he snapped back, ''when you won Silverstone, I was literally one of the first people to hug you and congratulate you for your win. I stood next to your fucking parents, Y/N! And today you didn't even bother doing anything.'' 

Her mouth fell open, a mix of shock and anger flooding her veins. ''You are unbelievable… You ruined my fucking race, Lando! How am I supposed to stand there and cheer for you when you cost me everything today?'' 

He rolled his eyes while throwing up his hands. ''This isn't just about today. You're just jealous because my season has been going so much better than yours. You can't fucking stand that for one time I'm doing actually better than you.'' 

''Jealous… of you?'' The words came out like laughter, slightly hurting the McLaren driver's ego. ''You think I can't be happy for you because I'm not doing as well? That's so low, Lando.'' 

''Ever since the start of the season you've been so moody and distant, and now you can't even say or even fucking text me a congratulations for my first win. You're so pissed that I got a win before you this season, you can't even hide it.'' He shot back. 

''Oh, give me a break. Like you wouldn't act the same if you were getting all these shit results. Maybe I didn't congratulate you because I was too busy trying to scrape gravel out of my fucking tires.'' She remarked, throwing in the sarcastic comment. 

Lando looked unimpressed by her remark. ''You're just mad cause I'm outshining you. You can't fucking stand that I'm getting all the attention.'' 

''Outshining me? Are you hearing yourself?'' She mocked him, laughing bitterly. ''You get one win and you're acting like you're a fucking World Champion already. You've been riding Max's dick these last years hoping some of his success will rub off on you. Newsflash Norris, everyone is just fucking laughing at you.'' 

His face turned red, either embarrassment or anger. ''At least I'm not constantly whining about my car and blaming everyone else for my problems. Maybe if you spent more time focusing on your driving and less on complaining, you'd have more to celebrate.'' 

''You're a fucking spoiled brat who can't stand some competition. You think everything should be handed to you on a silver platter.'' She retorted. 

''And you're a fucking baby who throws a temper tantrum everytime you don't get what you want. It's time to fucking grow up, Y/N!'' He shouted, his voice rising with each word. 

She took a step closer to him. ''You should spend less time trying to prove yourself to people who don't give a shit about you, and more time trying to be a decent fucking human being. I'm ashamed to call you one of my best friends.'' 

That last sentence had clearly hit a nerve or several nerves. He shook his head, taking a few steps back. ''Fuck you, Y/N. Enjoy your pity party.'' Lando turned and walked away, joining his friends who were waiting in the lobby. 

She watched him go, her chest heaving with a mix of anger and heartbreak. She could feel the pulse of her racing heart, the adrenaline from their argument making her feel jittery and unsteady. 

A lump formed in her throat as she replayed the last few minutes in her mind. She cringed internally at the words she had fired at Lando, while also trying to ignore the sting from his own harsh words. She wondered how they would be able to come back from this. They had never been in a situation like this before, and she knew that she would never want to be in this situation again. 

The young woman knew that she had let her emotions get the best of her. She had always prided herself on being fair and understanding, but now she felt ashamed of herself. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of another door opening. George peeked out, concern etched on his face. ''Y/N, you okay?'' 

She shook her head, not wanting to deal with anyone else. ''Mind your business, Russell.'' She retreated back into her room, not before slamming the door behind her. 

As she leaned against the closed door, the weight of the evening pressed down on her. The room felt too small, her emotions too big. She slid down to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest, and let the tears she had been holding back finally fall.

Even when she finally got up, even when she tucked herself in again for the final time, and even when she tossed and turned the entire night, the same question lingered in her mind. 

Are they still friends? 

The question haunted her, gnawing at her thoughts every time she closed her eyes. She replayed the argument over and over, dissecting every word, every expression. The hurt in his eyes, the anger in his voice- it all felt so raw and irreversible. 

As the hours dragged on, sleep remained elusive. The darkness of the room mirrored the uncertainty in her heart. She knew they both needed time to cool off, to reflect, but the thought of facing Lando again filled her with dread.

The first light of dawn began to seep through the curtains, and she felt no more at ease than she had the night before. 

Are they still friends? 

story ideas are always welcome, but remember that it can take a while for me to get to it! :)

[ponderingmoonlight]

Saving Genya from his big brother only to make out with Sanemi

Pairing: Sanemi x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,9k

Synopsis: It was never an easy job, being the only one who's able to calm the wind hashira down. There was never more than respect and understanding between both of you. Until you bodly decided to stand up for Genya, until Sanemi finally reveals his true feelings...

Warnings: We're talking about Sanemi so language at violence lol, aggressive making out

I love love love Sanemi and I desperately hope you do as well hehe, enjoy and leave a comment/like/reblog <3

There he stands with his hot temper filling the air and his ruthless beatings torturing the poor souls in front of you. Hashira training never sounded like fun to you, especially when you consider who you’d have to deal with.

Sanemi Shinazugawa, especially.

“Get back up, brat. We’re not finished yet.”

You watch from afar as he hits the poor red-haired poor over and over again. Without any mercy, without the slightest hint of regret. And still, you can’t help but ponder about the way his arms flex and show every vein that decorates his skin. How he moves so effortlessly that your eyes are almost unable to follow. No, it’s not a secret that apart from being a madman, Sanemi Shinazugawa is hot as hell.

And your crush since you joined the demon slayer corps.

“Don’t you think that’s enough for today? The poor boy isn’t even able to stand up straight anymore”, you interfere when he’s about to hit him once again.

 "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were the expert on disciplining. How about me fetching you a chair so you can supervise more comfortably?”

All pairs of eyes are set on you while you step towards the scene in death silence. Apart from everyone else, you aren’t here to train under Sanemi. No, you are a very capable demon slayer yourself, so good that you even managed to beat Mitsuri from time to time. You definetely don’t need Sanemi to train.

In fact, you are here because you’re the only one who is able to tame him apart from Kagaya-sama himself.

"Well, if you ask me so nicely, a chair actually doesn’t sound bad for the next time. Meanwhile, how about we wrap this up? Enough's enough."

Sanemi’s venomous eyes meet yours, tempting you to lose your cool. Within the past few months, you’ve learned how to act around him and that his actions don’t reflect his true feelings at all. Deep within, he is the most caring and compassionate person you’ve ever met, so tender that you’d simply melt away in his touch. He never failed to protect you even if not needed, always made sure you are save before looking out for himself. Damn, he even left his desert for you to eat.

But on the other hand, he’s very good at hiding that side of him.

“Fine. Call it quits for today then. But we two will have a talk later”, he finally mutters before turning around and disappearing without any trace.

Your heart skips a few beats before you’re able to think straight again. Oh, how much you adore him. Just the sheer thought of meeting him alone sends shivers down your spine even though nothing ever happened between you two. After all, you’re only here to look out for him, right?

“Thank you for standing up for me. Now you’ll get in trouble for helping me out”, the red-haired boy lying in front of your feet speaks out while dragging himself up.

“Oh, don’t worry about me, I can handle him. Are you alright?”

In the matter of seconds, your eyes scan his body for serious injuries. Nothing, as you expected. Even though his training methods seem rough, he’d never allow himself to truly lay hands on another corps member. Not even him, Kamado Tanjiro. The boy who has what Sanemi always dreamed of.

“Yes, thanks to you. We really need a break after training day and night. Sorry, may I ask you for your name?

“My name is (y/n). Nice to finally meet you in person, Kamado Tanjiro.”

His eyes widen in an instant when you tell him your name. Even though you’re not a hashira, it seems like a lot of corps member know you. A decently skilled swordswoman, a trained doctor who made sure that no one ever died as long as you were around.

“The angel”, he breathes out.

“What an honor to meet you in person!”

In an instant, he gets on his knees and places his head on his flat palms. A pose of deep respect, so intimate that your cheeks heat up in an instant.

“Please, lift yourself off the ground. I don’t deserve your praise-“

“You deserve so much more than that!”, Tanjiro interrupts in an instant.

“Leave her alone. Can’t you see that you’re making her uncomfortable?”, another voice mutters from behind.

A very familiar voice you haven’t heard in quite some time, that makes your heart jump up and down in joy.

“Genya!”, you cry out.

You waste no time. In an instant, you lunge yourself at the now much taller boy and wrap your arms around him so tightly that he cannot escape. Oh, you really missed him. Even though Sanemi states over and over how much he hates his little brother, you always had a weak spot for him. Maybe because you’re able to see his soft side as well or because of the cute way he blushes when you look at him.

“Genya, are you alright? Your face is so red-“

“SHUT UP”, he barks at Tanjiro while you giggle to yourself.

“Why didn’t you send me a crow like I told you to? I was beyond worried about you. But oh I’m so proud. Did you really help to kill an upper moon demon and supported your friends?”

“Well I-“

“Yes he did! He was a big help for all of us!”, Tanjuro interferes immediately.

“(y/n), didn’t I tell you we need to talk?”, someone suddenly barks from the inside.

All color drains from Genya’s face immediately as he turns around with you.

There he stands with his arms crossed in front of his muscular chest, eyes almost piercing through you while the vein on his forehead threatens to pop any minute.

Your heart sinks in an instant. No, don’t let him control you like that, not when you know that he’s just…jealous?

“I needed to talk to Genya first”, you clarify.

“(y/n), please don’t-“

“Oh, is that so? Why would you even look at that trash?”

Thick anger rushes through your veins like the flood. If there’s one thing you hate about Sanemi’s attitude, it’s the way he talks about his little brother.

“I’m looking at you as well, don’t I?”

He flinches ever so slightly, his furrowed eyes now piercing through you like a thousand knives.

“Get inside. Right now.”

“Get some rest you two”, you quickly shout over your shoulder before you disappear into the house with a furious Sanemi by your side.

He slams the door shut behind you so rapidly that it rains plaster.

“What was that, huh?”, he speaks out with threatening low voice.

“I asked your little brother about his mission.”

He cages you between the wall with no way to escape, dangerous eyes locked with yours.

“I told you to stay away from him.”

“And I told you that I don’t care.”

“Why don’t you leave, then?”

“Because I’m the only one who’s able to tame you down”, you bite back.

He huffs in sheer annoyance while pushing himself off the wall. Why does he have to look so vulnerable and strong at the same time, so scary but also mesmerizing?

“You won’t force me to talk to him”, he finally speaks out.

“I want him to leave the corps and get as far away from me as possible.”

“Away from you or away from the danger?”

“I don’t care about him.”

“So you don’t care about me as well?”

Thick silence hangs between both of you while you stare at each other. To this day he never revealed how he truly feels about you. Does he hate you, respect you, love you? You might never know. But your influence on him speaks for itself.

“Go to sleep. We’ll get up early tomorrow.”

Without another word, he leaves you standing in a new wave of ponderings and emotions.

-a few hours later-

Your eyes dart open for no reason. Aimlessly, your orbs roam around the dark room, ears searching for a single sound.

Voices. Shouting. Blows.

Blows?

“Big brother?”

Your heart drops to the floor. That’s Genya. Why does the floor start to vibrate now?

Out of instinct, you yank out of your room, follow a wave of destruction until you finally get what’s going on.

There they stand. Genya with fright written all over his face and Sanemi with orbs so empty you’re almost able to see through them.

Your guts turn uncomfortably as he speeds forward so fast that your eyes are almost unable to follow. Fuck, is he about to pierce through Genya’s eyes?

You waste no time. In the matter of milliseconds, you drag Genya to the ground and therefore safe him from Sanemi’s merciless attack.

“Sanemi.”

You breathe out his name like a prayer.

“Get out of line, (y/n).”

“I can’t allow you to hurt him!”, you cry out, hands still holding onto Genya’s trembling body for dear life.

“You leave me no choice, then.”

It happens faster than you’re able to think. He dashes forward while grabbing the handle of his sword tightly, his eyes and blade darted towards you.

But you don’t even think about leaving Genya. No, you stand your ground in front of him, glossy orbs watching as his blade crashes down straight towards your face.

Until it stops.

“I said move”, he hisses through gritted teeth.

“And I said I won’t. Leave Genya alone.”

“Are you really putting up a fight with me, (y/n)? Here, right in front of everyone else?”

You couldn’t care less about the stinging fact that the others are watching you drowned in fear. This goes too far without any doubt.

“You don’t have to do this, Sanemi. Not when we both know you love your little brother dearly”, you breathe out.

“Come on Genya, let’s leave”, Tanjiro’s voice mutters behind you, causing a wave of relief to wash over you.

“I don’t love anyone. Not him, not you, I don’t give a shit about anyone around here”, Sanemi barks back at you with nothing but hatred spilling from his mouth.

Genya doesn’t deserve those words reaching his ear. But apart from that, you can’t escape the sting that fills your heart with agony.

Him, not loving anyone? Of course you never really expected the wind hashira to actually like you back. Of course even him respecting you is more than you could have ever asked for. But somehow you still hoped. Each and every night, you imagined what if would feel like to lay in his arms while listening to his steady heartbeat. Every free second, you pondered about how his lips must feel pressed against yours, how it feels to fall asleep and wake up next to him.

And now he tells you that you mean nothing to him.

You swallow hard, desperately trying to avoid his gaze at any cause. No, you can’t afford to lose yourself right here when everyone is watching.

Out of instinct, you straighten your shoulders and cross your arms in front of your chest.

“If that’s the case, I’m leaving. Good night, wind hashira.”

You don’t care about waiting for an answer. All you want to do right now is going back into your room, going back into safety where he’s not around. How stupid to even consider that Sanemi Shinazugawa could feel anything apart from a little respect for you. You, nothing but an ordinary slayer, still too weak to be called a real hashira. You, apparently nothing but a fool.

Hot tears start to swell up your eyes and cause your vision to get foggy. You never allowed yourself to cry over something so minor. What did you expect, a gut-wrenching love story? With the wind hashira?

“Why did you turn your back on me?”

You flinch so hard that you almost trip over your futon.

“What are you doing here?”, you cry out.

Fuck, this is him, without any doubt. What on earth is Sanemi doing in your room? Just now, when you’re looking like a mess.

“Are you crying?”

“Even if I do, why would you care?”

When your gaze drifts towards his, you feel like drowning and taking your first breath at the same time. He looks so distressed that your heart wrenches all over again. Like a lost puppy, he draws closer until he cages you against the wall. His eyes seem to stare right through your soul, make it hard to produce a single logical thought.

“Why would you even think that, idiot?”

His hand yanks your chin up, forces you to stare at him even more intensely.

“Because you said so yourself”, you bite back.

“You shouldn’t have interrupted me in the middle of teaching Genya a lesson.”

“Teaching him a lesson? You’re breaking that poor boy’s heart-“

“Breaking him? I’m saving him, goddamn!”, he blurts out so suddenly that you shake.

“Saving him? What are you t-“

“Poking his eyes out isn’t that big of a deal, he’d definitely survive. But his career at the demon slayer corps would have been over and out, he would have been saved”, he mumbles frantically.

“That would have meant he’s save, that would have meant he doesn’t die in this shit-“

“Sanemi”, your hands grab his face gently, try to get him out of his constant mumbling.

“He’ll die just like our mother did.”

“Sanemi.”

“I can’t fucking protect you all. Not when you’re around as well, not when you’re not listening just like he does-“

“Sanemi.”

When your eyes meet his, he looks like a troubled child scared of thunder. His glossy orbs stare at you desperately, make your heart ache all over again. All that rambling, giving Genya his coldest shoulder…to protect him?

“You’re just as reckless as him. Not looking out for yourself. What am I supposed to do without both of you around? What if I lose you two as well?”

“You won’t lose anyone, I’m good enough to-“

“How can you know?”, he screams into your face, his voice vibrating through every cell of your body like thunder.

“How can you promise you won’t die? One wrong move and you’re gonna bite the dust. Or you’re at the wrong place at the wrong time like Rengoku-“

It might be the stupidest thing you’ve ever done in your entire life, so reckless that you’ll lose Sanemi completely.

But you don’t care.

Before he’s able to talk about the grief within the past any further, you crash your lips against his while holding onto his face for dear life.

Over and over, again and again until your mind finally shuts up, until it’s only you and Sanemi and his puffy lips against yours.

He wraps his arms around you so tightly that you allow your knees to give in, bodies resting against each other so desperately that you feel like dreaming. Countless nights you pondered about the way his frame feels pressed against yours, what the wind hashira might taste like.

Oh, the reality is so much better, so good that you have to convince yourself you’re not dreaming.

“You’re driving me insane. Since the first time I saw you training with Obanai, since you beamed at me with that sickening gorgeous smile. I can’t escape you. I can’t fucking lose you”, he hisses against your mouth before entangling his tongue with yours all over again.

Sparks fly, stars take up your sight completely as you threaten to choke on all the affection and love that hits you with full force.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”, you breathe out.

“And risking you’ll never talk to me again? You have to be out of your mind.”

“I’m out of my mind because of you. Because you make me feel all those strange things”, you puff out.

Faster than you’re able to react, he pulls his face away from yours enough to almost drown inside your glossy orbs. For a moment, all the does is staring at you as you desperately gasp for air with your chest rising and falling rapidly. This really happened. Did you really make out with the wind hashira after he tried to murder his little brother, after all the fighting and rambling of today?

“You’re my weakness, (y/n)”, he finally blurts out.

“And I hate that power you have over me. Especially that everyone else knows it.”

You tilt your head to the side. Oh, that’s so true. After all, this is the reason why you were sent here. You are here to make sure he doesn’t go too rough on his students, that his hot temper is kept at least a little cool.

Well, given the heat that radiates from him at this very moment, the last part definitely didn’t go as planned.

“They know about my feeling for you as well.”

His eyes widen while he stares you up and down in sheer disbelief.

“Stop fucking with me”, he grumbles.

“You were too blind to realize that I loved you for so long while I didn’t even think about the opportunity that you might like me back”, you admit with your cheeks turning as hot as the sun.

“You fool.”

He yanks your chin towards his face, a small smile decorating his usual so irritated face.

“I’ll definitely never let you go again now.”

His lips crash into yours and leave your mind blank all over again.

“But I’ll still kick your ass for talking to me so disrespectfully and interfering with Genya.”

Tags: @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix  @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @beatrexworld

@froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @poketrainer2270 @chaoticwinnercupcake

@lees-chaotic-brain @wordskeeper @polarbvnny @sugu-love @ryva @baku2345

@komelrebi-san @kentocalls (your fic will be next) @barbuse @sunshine7queen @lavenderdrxp

@yaninnaacu @hopefulbelievertimemachine (thank you sooo much for helping me creating reader for the cover)

[miabebe]

The Intruder's Eye (CSC)

Was it really love if it didn't include just a little madness? What was love if it didn't cross the line? And how was it love if it didn't make one want to keep an eye at all times?

Pairing - Afab!reader x Choi Seungcheol

Word count - 6K (I failed the below 5k challenge T.T)

Genre - Oof buckle up my friends. This is a halloween special so I tried not hold back - its a psycho-thriller, there's smut and a whole lot of pyscho-ness whelp Warnings under the cut!

A/n - It's the week leading up to Halloween folks! Unfortunately I'm not the biggest fan of clowns and ghosts and vampires etc, but I do love me a good dose of psychos (who I think are scarier btw) so here you gooooo! I've already got a Jeonghan one out but personally I feel this is more deranged I'm sorry T.T I did try to tone it down a bit though! I have another one coming by the 31st so stay tuneddd

Again @tusswrites and @tomodachiii - what would I do without y'all 🫂 this piece is basically all you guys!

warnings - intruder in the house, mentions of stalking, medications, deranged characters, triggering descriptions of a home intrusion, smut, homemade porn (lol), bondage (mouth and hands), blowjobs, cum eating, riding, rough sex, mentions of toys and anal, manhandling, psycho behaviour, please forgive me I can only allow myself to be this unhinged during spooky season

It was the soft pitter patter of the rain against the car window that woke you up. 

Slowly fluttering your eyes open, you looked out down the dark, lonely road on the other side, at the street lights were still obscured by the downpour. It's not as torrential as it was when you stepped out of the grocery store a while ago. It was too heavy for you to even drive then so you settled in your car for a while, waiting for the rain to get less harsh. You didn't realise when you fell asleep. 

Looking at the 8pm flashing on your phone screen and the way darkness had engulfed everything around, a strange panic rose in you. You weren't really afraid of staying out too late but given the things that had been happening around you recently - you didn't want to take the risk. 

Turning on the engine and shifting the gears, you took a deep breath, and started driving  towards home. 

The street was empty for the most part - not many cars were on the road given the warnings for the incoming storm earlier that day. You didn't have a choice but to leave - you were suddenly running low on supplies, the shopping list in your hand was almost a page long. You glanced at the groceries at the backseat with a satisfied sigh - guess the newfound cardio routine was doing a good job in working up your appetite. 

As you neared your house, the streets became more illuminated, much to your relief. Unlike the rest of the town, your neighbourhood was a much safer space - there were streetlights, surveillance cameras and disguised cops always patrolling the area. Most people who resided here didn't know but many of the inhabitants of these row houses were in fact people placed on witness protection. You knew because you were one of them. 

One year ago, your testimony in a high profile case had led to some very bad people finding themselves behind bars. In exchange, you were promised protection, leading to your identity being morphed and your life being relocated to this locality. You were promised that nothing would happen to you here, that you would be very safe. You believed it then, but not so much now - not when you turned into your street and noticed the camera at the end of it was short circuited. Perhaps the storms over the last few days had a hand in it. 

You didn’t think much of it.

But maybe you should.

Because as you grabbed your groceries and ran to the door, fishing for your keys, you realised you didn't need them. The door was not locked. 

You racked your brains to remember if you had locked the door before you left or if you were in too much of a hurry to beat the incoming rain. Your memory is a little fuzzy, it has been like that for awhile, but you were too cold and aching to just get inside to give it any further thought.

 You must've forgotten to lock it - what other explanation could there possibly be? 

Balancing the bags in one hand, you slowly pushed the door open as you stepped in, flipping the switches with bated breath. 

Everything seemed fine, nothing felt out of place. Releasing a breath you tell yourself that everything is fine - you were clearly overthinking things. Paranoia had been a part of your life ever since the proceedings of that case - you were always wary, always suspicious, always scared. Though, you shouldn't be feeling that way anymore, you had taken your medication - you should be fine.

But how were you supposed to feel fine when every small thing made the hair on your skin stand. Like the curtains in the living room being open for example. You never kept the curtains open, especially not since your new neighbour moved in a few months ago. 

He called himself Choi Seungcheolwhen he knocked on the door to offer an introduction. You didn't know if that was his real name or the one the cops had given him as a part of the programme. Either way you didn't ask him lest he might ask you yours in return - you didn't need your identity compromised, not when the gang of those convicts was still actively looking for you. You had simply nodded and shut the door. 

Since then, you’ve always had the curtains closed. You had to, because somehow every time you looked out, Seungcheol was by his window, watching you. If you were being honest, Seungcheol was hot as fuck and a year ago, if a man like that was interested in you, you wouldn't have let him go. But things were different now - you couldn't trust anyone anymore.

Walking up to the window, you stumbled over the dumbbell in the way as you glanced at the neighbouring house. The two of your houses were the only ones on the street that weren't covered in Halloween decorations. It made sense - you were both single and did not have to deal with whining, crying, demanding children so there was no need for this facade. 

But you weren’t that lackluster, you did buy and keep some candy for the trick or treaters though you wouldn’t know if Seungcheol had done the same - he didn't seem too particularly fond of children. He never let them near the house. In fact he never let anyone into his house. You had never seen a woman or a friendly face from town or even a family member step into his place - he pretty much always kept to himself. It’s not like anyone else in this neighborhood had the luxury for such anyway.

At present, there was no sight of him or even his silhouette, with how the curtains of his house were drawn but all the lights were still on. Sighing a little in relief, you do the same, shutting the blinds. Still feeling the weight of the dumbbell against your foot, you pushed it out of the way, wondering how it had displaced itself from the rest of the workout equipment in the first place. You hadn’t even used those in a while now. 

Still lost in thought, you walked into the kitchen and as you turned the lights on, a shiver ran down your spine. 

Something was off, something did not seem right. 

At first glance everything seemed fine, but looking again carefully–nothing seemed right. The apron wasn't in its usual place by the spice rack, you don’t recall leaving out a glass of water on the counter, or leaving a packet of corn chips open. You never leave things out when you leave, you always put them away.

But things like this had been happening ever since you started your medication. You were more forgetful, and that was inconvenient but without your daily dosage it was like a fight between your nerves and caution - anything that moved invoked fear in you, every small sound made you shiver. There was no choice but to take those pills everyday. It was the only think keeping you sane. 

Shaking your head, you organized everything back in place again. Everything was fine. You had taken an extra dosage right before you left the house, you were just a little fazed from all the chemicals. Surely it was just your imagination, it wasn't like anyone could have entered the house in your absence….right? 

But there was a half eaten bowl of cereal in the sink and you… you were lactose intolerant, you didn't drink milk - that couldn't be yours. Hands shaking, you took a step back. 

Someone was in this house. 

Quickly opening the drawer, you grabbed a knife, gripping the handle hard and tight. The only question was, were they still in the house? 

Wiping the sweat off your face, you took a small careful step out of the kitchen. 

It was quiet, deadly quiet, there was not a sound to be heard, but the hum of the electrical appliances and the soft patter of the rain outside. Then you heard it, ears sharp and sensitive to the sound of water dripping. Slowly you moved towards the washroom, holding your weapon out, breath shaking. 

When you cautiously pushed the door open you noticed the floor was wet, water leaking from the shower head, drop after drop. You've never had this problem before, did you have a plumbing issue?

Stepping in, you tried to fix the faucet with your free hand. But no matter how many times you adjusted the hardware, water continued to drip, rendering you unsuccessful in your attempts. It felt like a really strong hand had broken the tap which was silly because you were definitely careful with how you handled your things? Neither could have broken this nor clearly, could you fix it. Annoyed by your failure and the thought of calling maintenance, you stepped out of the shower, catching sight of yourself in the mirror. 

There was a strange tiredness etched all over your features, hiding a stranger something behind it. Your eyes had sunken further into their sockets, thin wisps of hair framing your face - You’ve definitely had better days and was… was that a knife in your hand? 

You glanced at it quizzically. Why did you step into the shower with a knife? 

Softly smacking your head at your silliness, you walked back into the living room, leaving the tap for another day. Half yawning with tiredness were ready to retire for the night when your eyes fell on the grocery bags still waiting for you on the table - you had forgotten about it. Groaning at the thought of having to put everything away, you set the knife on the dining table and grabbed your purchases instead, taking them into the pantry. Perhaps it was because you were too deeply immersed in your organisation, but your otherwise sharp ears missed the rustling of the leaves outside, crunching under someone’s footsteps.

Going through the grocery checklist scribbled in horrible handwriting to make sure you had gotten everything, you swiftly began putting them all in their place. The pastas in the jars, the fruits in the baskets, the sauces in the tray. The heaviest thing you bought was perhaps those huge jars of protein powder. You weren't really sure why you decided to buy it - sure your doctor said you were too weak and needed to exercise to build strength but you didn't need to buy all of the products the Internet recommended to you. 

Telling yourself you'll find use for it later, you pushed them onto the shelves and turned to the meat instead, throwing them into the fridge. You didn't really know how to cook meat too well but you wanted to try. Seungcheol had once grilled some meat in his backyard and came over to offer you a few bites. When you tried to take it from him at the door, he pulled his hand back and cocked his head. 

“Are you not going to invite me inside?” 

He was always trying to make a move on you like that. You knew what he wanted, you knew what he had his eyes on but the answer was, no. You could take the deliciously cooked meat from him but couldn't let him into the house. It was too soon to trust him. 

But Seungcheol was relentless. 

It was evident with how he was the only one in town who turned up at the video store where you worked. And he came everyday. Normal people didn't borrow a new movie everyday, right? Clearly he was flirting with you. Or at least he was trying to. You only ever behaved professionally with him . Except sometimes, when he asked for movie recommendations of a very specific genre. You didn't really know many serial killer documentaries or crime podcasts to suggest, so you would simply ask a colleague to take over. Over the days, you watched him consume every last bit of thrillers available in the store and distantly wondered if he had a life outside of this consumption. 

Perhaps not. Seungcheol seemed a bit odd like that. 

He talked to everyone in town but didn't really seem to have any friends. He wasn't home for days together sometimes - you didn't really know the nature of his job so you couldn't tell why his absence was so frequent. He always drove that tiny pickup truck of his with some weird boxes and bags hidden under big blue plastic sheets in the trunk. . 

The whole deal about him was just not right. You knew something about him was not right. Even though he was incredibly pleasant on the eye, you had to be wary of him. 

You had to be wary of everything. . 

But maybe you weren't always as alert as you should be. Because it  was only as you were putting away the last of the snacks that you heard that sound - the thumping. 

It seemed like it was coming from outside…. Or was it upstairs? It felt like it was coming from right above, like the sound of someone's feet. 

And just like that,, you remembered the intruder again - the one who might still be in your home. 

Quickly you rushed to grab the knife from the table once more and held it out in defense. Whoever came to the house was most definitely still here, you could feel it in your bones. 

As you slowly made your way towards the stairs, trying to maintain a soft footfall to avoid the creaking of the stairs, another sound took you aback. 

No, not your racing heart - The doorbell. 

Turning sharply, you glanced at the door with wide eyes. Who could it possibly be?  At this late hour?

The ringing only became more persistent, morphing into knocks while you inched towards the door, grip on the knife tightening. 

As you slowly pressed down the handle and slightly opened the door, you were met with cheerful voices, much to your relief. 

“Happy Halloween!” 

Before you was a tiny ghost, a pirate, a couple of princesses and a buzz lightyear, all half your height, looking at you surprised. 

“Ms. L/n!” 

“Hey kiddos.” 

“Where's Mr. Choi?” The pirate pouted. “We thought we could finally get him to be nice to us, hand us some treats.” 

“Aw.” You pinched his cheek with your free hand. The one that was not hiding the knife behind the door. “Mr. Choi isn't in town sadly.” 

The little kid looked at you quizzically. “Then what are you doing in his house?” 

.

.

.

Oh. 

You blinked at him while he looked up at you expectantly. 

Then your lips split into a sweet, saccharine smile. 

“He asked me to look after it while he was gone.”

“When will Mr. Choi be back?” 

You glanced at the inquisitive little ghost, fiddling with the knife in your hand. 

Please, please don't make me use this. 

“Do you want an answer or candy?” You cocked your head cheekily. “I'm only giving out one.” 

“Candy!” They screamed as you laughed and reached for the packet you had just bought, ripping it open with the knife.

They watched excitedly as you dropped handfuls of chocolate into their little baskets and plastic pumpkins. With a scream of “Ms. L/N is the best!” they scurried away to their next target of the night. And so did you, tossing the knife onto the table once again.

You clutched your head and released a low hiss of irritation at the dull throb.Those stupid medicines were really getting to your head now, you were forgetting too many important things. Thank fuck for the children, otherwise you would have never remembered what really had to be done. 

Locking the door behind you, you quickly made your way up the stairs. There was no need to head softly - the stairs had a tendency to creak in your house, not in Seungcheol’s. 

The thumping from earlier was more pronounced now as your senses slowly cleared up, much like how the light flooded from underneath the bedroom door. The soft thumps are getting louder and louder as you neared it. With a twist of the knob and swing of the door, you tilt  your head with a smile. 

Light flooded from underneath the bedroom door, the soft thumping sound getting louder and louder as you neared it. Opening it wide, you cocked your head with a smile. 

There he was. 

Sitting on a chair in the middle of the room, Seungcheol was looking gorgeous as ever. He was dressed in just his grey sweatpants, the thick muscles of his shoulders and pecs bared before you. His biceps too were popping on either side thanks to the fact that his hands were tied at the back of the chair. Oh and his mouth was gagged shut, his words turning into muffled whimpers as he looked at you wide eyed, halting the stomping of his feet.

“I know, I know, I'm sorry.” You raised your hands apologetically. “I meant to be back soon but you know how I am, forgetful little me. I'm sorry baby.” You neared him, walking around his chair, bending to whisper in his ear. “But I see you're having your fun.” 

Your eyes flickered from the tent in his pants to the laptop you left on for his entertainment, right in the line of his vision. You see yourself on the screen, dressed in the hottest lingerie you owned, looking right in the camera with the vibrator held just where you needed him and only one name spilling from your mouth - Seungcheol. 

This wasn't the video you played from him before you left for the grocery store - perhaps they were auto playing, lucky him. You had hours of such footage of yourself - in all kinds of positions, with every possible toy, in role play costumes, in every possible color of lingerie, you had an unmatchable variety. The only thing common among all of them was his name. Choi Seungcheol. 

Could you be blamed? The man was unbelievably attractive. It wasn't like you didn't try to avoid him, to repel all that magnetism. You were well aware of your nature - it hadn't been long since you had gotten a chance to start afresh and you didn't want to spiral again. You really really didn't. 

But Seungcheol was persistent. He wouldn't stop flirting with you at any given chance, he kept trying to invite himself home, he was consistently intrusive. You kept him at bay for the longest time, at least until the day you had to return the box he had left with you, the one in which he gave you the grilled meat. 

You didn't expect him to open the door with his shirt off, slick with sweat, flushed and half panting. When you caught sight of the dumbbells behind him,  could tell he was working out but somehow you couldn't help but think this was probably how he looked when he fucked and god did that make your mouth water. 

That day he shouldn't have invited you in. Then you wouldn't have found your resolve crumbling so weakly. You wouldn't have found yourself under him being pounded like there was no tomorrow. You wouldn't have crossed the line like this. 

What started that day set off a cascade of events. Sleeping with Seungcheol became quite a regular act - there was no part of you that he had left unexplored, untouched. He was in every crevice, every cell, you were entirely consumed by him. When you were at work, all you could think about was how well he fucked you the day before. When you were on the way home, all you could think about was how well he was going fuck you today. Even after you reached, you always made it a point to immediately wash up, wear your nicest underwear and knock on his door. You always did it at his house. 

He did try to come to your place a couple of times but you consistently steered the two of you back to his house somehow. It was one thing to let him cum in you but to come into your house? You couldn’t have that happening, he’d ask too many questions - why do you never use the garage Y/n? Why was it always locked Y/n? Why did you have a ridiculous number of gardening tools in your house when you don’t even grow any plants Y/n? You knew the questions wouldn't seize and the answers weren’t good for him. They weren't good for anyone who's heard them all these years. 

Another reason you didn't want him home was because you didn't want to ruin the surprise. 

Now, Seungcheol was a self-sufficient man. He was happy with himself, his life, his home, his solitude. It was evident all he was looking for in you was a good fuck - afterall, he would never ask you to stay the night or to be his girlfriend even though you'd been seeing each other for months. You were okay with that….. for now. The two of you were still exploring, still understanding each other's bodies and limits. You didn't mind him taking his time, you needed your time as well. 

You see, Seungcheol loved his home. He loved every piece of furniture, every bowl, every mat - he was incredibly fond of his space, taking all the time and effort in the world to curate it. You, on the other hand, didn't really care much for your house. As long as it could fulfill basic needs and keep you safe, you were good - it wasn't like you stayed for long in one place anyways. But your heart knew that you wanted to stay with Seungcheol for the rest of your life. There was something dark about him too that told you he belonged with you the way you belonged to him. You wanted him to feel like he belonged to you too, you wanted him to feel at home with you. You wanted to be his home. 

That's why you took months together to design and turn your house into an identical replica of Seungcheol’s. 

And when you say replica you mean down to the T. Everything was the same. You made sure it was the same. All those times he was away for days together thanks to his job, you found yourself slipping into his house taking detailed notes of every object, every piece. You would only see, not touch or take anything away. Come on, you were no thief, thieves are bad people.. 

After that you had spent all your time online or going from store to store, finding originals and duplicates of his belongings. Given that he loved to have really exclusive pieces in his house they were not easy to procure but with a little sweet talk, a little threatening and a little unspeakable things, you had somehow managed to bring them all home. To the home you were making for him. 

Earlier this week, you had gotten hold of the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle - a childhood photo of Seungcheol's family, framed and hung on the wall. It was the hardest thing to get your hands on. His estranged sister would not leave her house for long enough - it took a major occupational accident at her husband's construction site to finally get her moving. 

With everything finally in place today, just as the sun began to set, you went over to Seungcheol's house to bring him over at last, to show him what you had done for him. Seeing how his front door was unlocked you stepped in, curiously looking around for him. But that feeling evaporated the moment you heard that sound - the sound of a woman moaning. 

It felt like the ground under your feet had slipped. Perhaps that was why you grabbed the baseball bat leaning against the wall, to give your shaking hands something to hold on to as you made your way to his bedroom…. He didn't even bother to shut the door. 

There he was, sitting on the bed with his laptop open before him, frantically getting himself off to the video of some pizza delivery girl getting her “payment”. 

Porn. He was watching porn. 

The moment his eyes fell on you by the door, he quickly tucked his length into his sweats and jumped off the bed, looking at you like you were crazy. Oh no Choi Seungcheol. He didn't just do that. He shouldn't have. Maybe then you wouldn't have swung the bat and knocked him out cold. Maybe he wouldn't have found himself in the middle of the room all tied up when he came around. 

You just couldn't understand him. What was the need for him to look at other women or even think of one when you were right there? Was he bored of you? Were you not enough? You did everything you could to keep him - every depraved fantasy, every humiliating act, every time he was rough to bruise you for days together, you took it all, you begged for more. Then why was he doing this? 

When he finally opened his eyes, he didn't answer your questions, he was simply screaming to set free. Well of course the only thing you could do was to shut his mouth in some way and with him unable to speak, you had to find other ways to get answers. You needed to find out if Seungcheol was just not attracted to you anymore. 

That's why you brought out your video collection, little films you had taken of yourself back when you were still pushing him away, all while wondering what it was like to get fucked by him. His mouth may say whatever but anatomy couldn't lie right? There was something else that could stand up and answer you. 

You had meant to stay and watch, afterall, you were proud of the quality of your content but the flashes of thunder outside told you that perhaps it was wiser for you to go to the store first. You knew whatever was going to transpire wouldn't be over any time soon, you had to stock up before the storm locked you in. Besides, it was Halloween night, all the cute little kids would be coming around for candy, you didn't want to miss out on that. 

You didn't and thanks to them, you didn't succumb to your forgetfulness and miss out on this either. 

“There there.” You cooed, removing his gag and he coughed, unable to regain his ability to speak just yet. You waited for him to come around, walking back to sit on the edge of the bed as he looked at you meekly. 

“Water.” He whispered, voice just a little horse. 

You raised your eyebrow. How did he manage to sound so sexy all the time? 

“Thirsty are we?” You smiled. “I thought my gift might have helped.”

“Y/n please.” He groaned. “What kind of sick joke is this?” 

Oh. He thinks it's a joke. A little Halloween scare perhaps. A prank gone overboard. Oh he has no idea.

“I think it's me who you take for a joke.” You glanced down at his raging boner. “Or not, considering how excited you are.”

You got up, leaning over him, hand gripping the back of his chair. 

“I'll help you.” You licked your lips. “Either I'll untie you, take my little collection and get out of here. Or I'll help with your not so little predicament with any and every hole I have…. Pick your poison.” 

Seungcheol looked at you wide eyed. His breath was shaking, lips were quivering and a hundred and one things seemed to be running behind those pretty eyes. 

Slowly gulping, his Adams apple moving with a bob, he shut his eyes. 

“It's unbearable.” He mumbled. “It's just…. Please help me.” 

And you knew exactly what he wanted you to do.

Sliding off the bed, you got on your knees, crawling up to him, slotting yourself between his legs. Seungcheol’s eyes flew open when your hands found his thigh, a soft sigh tumbling out of his mouth. He loved to fuck your mouth. He loved how eager to please you always were, always trying to take in more of him, always trying to do better. God he loved it.

He watched as you pulled his sweats down the best you could and wrapped your tiny hand around his dick. He was raging hard, the tip flushed in an angry red, precum smeared all over. You were lucky he was in your control now. If he were allowed to have his way, he might just break you. 

Stroking him agonisingly slowly, you inched closer to place a small kiss on his tip, the softest interaction that had ever happened between the two of you. Before Seungcheol could even relish that moment you wrapped your lips around his length and took him all the way in. Fucking hell. Seungcheol thought he was going to pass out with how intensely you were blowing him. He wished you'd untie his hands. He'd go anything to just push your head down his dick and feel himself in your throat. That was a sureshot at making him come, these shallow and fast bobs of your head were only aggravating him. 

Maybe that's what you wanted. Because the moment he let out his tell tale groan, letting you know he was close, you pulled away with a pop and wrapped your hand around his cock instead. Before he could complain about losing the warmth of your mouth you began stroking him fast thanks to the wetness of your spit and before you knew it, he felt himself reaching that high, meaningless words leaving his mouth. With a few more jerks, he came all over himself in spurts, ropes of white coating his abdomen. 

As he tried to battle his feelings of relief after finding a much needed release, disappointment for not coming in your mouth, and slight fear, not understanding what the hell was going on, you slowly let him go, wiping your hand on his sweats. Looking straight into his eyes, you leaned forward, gathering the cum all over his skin with your tongue and showing it to him before you swallowed it. Fuck, Seungcheol felt the blood rushing down there again. He was far from done tonight. 

Getting up you looked at him questioningly though you were well aware of the answer. 

“Do you need more?”

Unable to do anything else, he nodded slowly, whispering please. 

Smirking, you quickly stripped yourself out of your clothes. You would have made a show out of it, tease him slowly but you were equally desperate to fuck him so you quickly abandoned that idea. Throwing your garments somewhere, you clambered onto his lap, aligning yourself over his dick. You didn't need any prep or lube, you were practically dripping from just blowing him. 

Slowly sinking onto his length you threw your head back, finally feeling full. Seungcheol moaned too, burying his face between your boobs as you bottomed out, your grip like a vice. Holding onto his shoulders you began fucking yourself on his length, snapping your hips relentlessly. You could tell the feeling was too much for Seungcheol too as he bit on the soft skin of your breasts. It stung painfully but you let him - you always let him do whatever he wanted to you anyways. 

“Tired?” He looked up at you with a triumphant smirk as your pace began to falter thanks to the not so comfortable position of your legs. “Are you finally going to ask me for help?”

You shook your head. You didn't want him to have the upper hand anymore.

“Don't be stubborn, doll. You know it's better when I have my hands on you.” He ran his tongue along your breast, relishing the sweet and salty taste of you. “Untie my hands and we can make this better y/n. I know how much you love my fingers up your ass, and how much you like the grip on my hands all over you and how much you want me . Come on baby, untie me.”

You didn't want to, you really didn't want to but a part of you knew he was right. He could make you feel so good. 

Reaching over you pulled on the knot holding his hands together and in a flash his hands gripped the bottom on your thighs and with the sheer strength of his that you loved, he got up, lifting you along with him. Immediately pinning you to the wall, he began thrusting into you, drawing out the most exquisite moans from you as he hit the spot again and again and again. When unable to hold it anymore, you came around him, he tossed you onto the bed, pounding into you mercilessly, making you cum around him one more time before he painted your ass and back with his own release. Even then the night was far from over. 

After that he fucked you almost till dawn, pushing you to the limit as he made you cum so many times, you couldn't even keep count anymore. All you knew was that every bit of your body was screaming and creaming in pleasure - it was confirmed, you had to have Seungcheol for life, you had to do whatever it took to keep this insane man forever. You didn't know how but you could think about that later. For now, as day break approached, the two of you passed out in his bed. 

Seungcheol looked at you under the afternoon sun streaming into his room. You were fast asleep - he tried waking you up a couple of times but you just would not budge. Finally giving up he resorted to just staring at you. 

Last night was…. better than Seungcheol’s wildest dreams. He always knew he was a bit of a freak, but he didn't think he'd find someone to match it in this quiet town he had been reluctant to relocate to. Even when he first met you, he thought you'd be one sweet love making session at most but you took him completely by surprise. You were as wild as he was - you were down for anything he asked, you never said no and most importantly, you enjoyed it all. Seungcheol thought he had hit the jackpot with you. 

But yesterday was most definitely not normal. At that time he was thinking with his dick because all the blood in his body was clearly there but as he looked back at what happened, nothing about it was right. You had knocked him out, tied and gagged him up before you left him. You had hours of footage of you pleasuring yourself to the thought of him… 

Seungcheol had noticed the dates. It was way before the two of you had begun your little arrangement and he didn't know what to think about that. There were tiny sirens going off in his head telling him to run as fast as he could but Seungcheol couldn't stop staring at you. You were ridiculously beautiful and he just had the best sex of his life last night. 

When you whined softly and turned over in your sleep, Seungcheol finally rolled off the bed and dressed himself. Finding your scattered clothes on the floor he gathered them, looking at them with a frown. He couldn't have you wear these again and his clothes were far too big for your tiny frame. Maybe it was time to start making room in his closet for a few of your clothes.

Knowing how tired you must be given last night's events, he silently fished out the keys from the pocket of your pants and decided to bring you a fresh pair from your house. 

He shouldn't have gone over. He never should have stepped into your house. Maybe then the tiny sirens in his head wouldn't have become a full blown ringing. 

If he had never discovered the truth of your house, if he wasn’t staring at an exact replica of his space, maybe he would've never come to terms that last night was indeed extremely abnormal. 

You were not normal. 

Something was very very wrong with you, the dozens of medications on the dining table were a testament of that. Seungcheol knew he had to go. He had to leave you and that house and this town. He needed to run away from this madness.

But when he turned to leave, he felt his heart stop just for a second. 

There you were, right at the door, dressed in yesterday's clothes, looking at him expressionlessly. Your eyes ran over his face as he felt the hair on his skin stand. 

He had to go, he had to get the hell out of here. 

“Oh baby.” 

You cocked your head at him, leaning against the frame with a small smile. 

This was an expression you had never seen on Seungcheol's face before - a mix of shock and fear and repulsion. You could tell he wanted to run. You knew he would end things now, you knew it was over but alas, it was too late to let him go. 

You couldn't let him go. 

Taking a step ahead, you slowly closed the door behind you, inching closer to him, yesterday’s knife stashed safely in the back pocket of your pants.

“Do you want to see what's in my garage?” 

A/n - As usual, comments and reblogs are much appreciated - I'd love to hear your thoughts, it really helps :)

[ebsmind]

𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐆𝐨𝐝 ❀ armando aretas x fem!reader

summary: no one ever said love was easy. good thing you weren’t planning on leaving anytime soon even through rough patches.

word count: 2.9k

warning(s): angst!, fighting (verbally not physically), smut (mdni), oral (fem receiving), fab!reader, readers height being mentioned (she’s 5’2), reader has armando wrapped around her damn finger, ummmm probably abandonment but like for only two days 😭, soft!armando, mention of rafe x reader, not 100% proofread

a/n: okay woooo this is the first imagine i’ve written in a minute (if you remember my hockey days ily) i hope this is good and can meet to yalls standards! i had fun writing this and ik it took me like over a week but i really didn’t know what i wanted to do with the plot lol. anyways please send me any feedback and if there’s any spelling mistakes or anything feel free to lmk! this was also my first time ever writing in depth smut so i hope it’s somewhat good 💃🏻 also reblogs are highly encouraged! they help me out sm!

oh! i almost forgot too, i didn’t mention it in here bc it’s not that important to me but i thought id share anyways! i see the reader knowing the AMMO team but she has a different job (id say in hospitality or something with medical knowledge) it doesn’t really matter tho since it’s what i envisioned but i just wanted yall to see where my head is at! okay im going now bye! and enjoy 💋

“we were crazy to think, crazy to think that this could work. remember how i said i’d die for you?”

The weather in Miami the past week has been bipolar. For it being the middle of September, it was chilly. Something felt off, almost like Mother Nature was reaching out. The rain had just finished pouring, and Armando wasn’t due to be home until another hour. So, when the younger girl heard the lock to the front door turn, she was surprised. He wasn’t one to leave early if anything, he loved working overtime. He always gave the excuse of 'wanting to be the main provider'. When he walks in, he sets his jacket on the coat hanger and doesn’t say a word. Weird.

“Hey you’re home early, what happened?” She stays calm. Something seems off with the 5’10 man and she doesn’t want to upset him even more.

He sets the keys on the dining table rather than the coffee table in the middle of the living room. He scurries off to their shared bedroom. She sighs and takes it as a hint to get off the couch and follow after him. Her mind runs wild on what could possibly be bothering him. Did Marcus find some way to piss him off? Did a raid go wrong? Did she do something wrong? There were so many possibilities of what could’ve gone wrong.

She walks into the bedroom cautiously and makes a B-line to the restroom. Armando had a routine when he came home from work. Put the keys in the bowl on the coffee table, find his girl, give her a kiss and hug, talk about both of their days and finally, hop in the shower. A sense of stability in his life made him feel somewhat relaxed and gave him a reason to never leave. He almost felt normal. Normal was a funny word considering he used to be in the cartel.

She knew the domesticated part of their relationship scared him and it did the same to her. Most nights she’d stay up thinking about if he was going to get up and leave one day. It wasn’t good for her and she knew it too.

She leans against the door frame and watches him get into the shower. He doesn’t seem to notice, he’s in his head and it’s bothering him. Armando didn’t wear his heart on his sleeve but she knew him well enough to know when he was in his head. Being in a romantic relationship with someone with an avoidant attachment style wasn’t easy but she needed to be patient. Some days were harder than others though, and she felt it in her bones that today was going to be a bad day.

She mentally prepares herself by taking a deep breath. She starts by saying, “Armando you’ve got to talk to me.” She uses his full name, no pet names, wanting him to know she’s being serious.

“We will when I get out.” He raises his voice, not enough for it to be considered yelling but just enough to get the point across that he isn’t in the mood.

She doesn’t respond, he needs time to gather his thoughts. She exits the bathroom and makes her way back to the living room. She picks up a book before finally making contact with the soft fabric of the couch. She needs something to distract herself with. About 15 minutes later, Armando walks into the room. She lets him soak in the silence, maybe he’ll get the memo to finally speak up without her having to tell him. To the contrary, he doesn’t.

Taking a deep breath she starts with, “I’m not in the mood to play a guessing game,” She pauses to look him in the eyes, “So please just talk to me and tell me what’s wrong.”

He keeps his eyes locked on her. He knows she’s irritated and wants to get this over with.

“And if I don’t want to talk?”

She scoffs, “You do realize we have to talk about it sooner or later, right? I don’t feel like doing this Armando, so please just tell me what’s wrong so I can help.”

“What if we don’t have to do this?”

Bamboozled, she questions him, “the fuck you mean by ‘what if we don’t have to do this’ ?”

“I don’t want to do this anymore Y/N.”

His confession makes the poor girl's heart fall to her stomach. She can’t tell if he’s being serious or not. Their relationship was a tricky one, just like any other. She’s seen her parents go through rough patches before for fucks sake, there’s no way he’s leaving without an explanation. Patience is running real slow between the two and the tension in the room feels foggy.

“Remember when I told you I loved you for the first time? Remember when I told you I’d take a fucking bullet for you? Hmm?”

Armando doesn’t respond. Typical. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for the young couple to fight, shit happens. But Armando’s cold demeanor is what was out of place.

She was his safe place and he knew it. She made it very clear when they started seeing each other that he couldn’t run away. Not from his feelings and most certainly not her. So for him to put up those walls that they desperately worked hard to keep down, was upsetting. To say the least.

With the tensions high between the pair, the girl took a much-awaited deep breath and spoke.

“My love for you is unconditional. I hope you remember that.”

Armando looks away and walks out the front door.

“they all warned us about times like this, they say the road gets hard and you get lost when you’re led by blind faith. blind faith.”

The mirrors in the bathroom are fogged up due to the boiling-hot water coming out of the shower head. It had been two days since Armando stormed out of the apartment and Y/N was fed up, to say the least.

Armando’s behavior has never gotten that bad. With the way Isabel raised him, it was expected to be rough but he had been doing good, for her. Everything he did, he reminded himself that it was for the both of them. He loved her just as much as she loved him. She fell first but he fell harder.

Armando never thought he would fall in love, but he did. In the middle of a stakeout, he spotted the girl walking out of a cafè. He remembers the dress she wore, it was white, and long, with yellow flowers. It screamed innocence and he loved it.

A week later he found himself following her around. He wasn’t due to go back to Mexico City for another week and he already finished the job so why not kill some time?

Two days before his departure from Miami he found himself in her apartment with his head between her thighs. He never wanted to leave but he couldn’t let anyone find out about you two. The good thing is, Armando was an excellent liar and no one ever discovered his dirty little secret.

Once she gets out of the shower, she waits no time to yell out her lover's name.

“Armando?” She pauses and there’s no answer.

Her heart breaks just a little more. With the ache in her chest, she decides to call the one person who might know where Armando is, Mike.

Mike was someone Y/N found comfort in, especially when it came to Armando. She knew their relationship was tricky, but he cared about his son and so did she.

Mike picks up at the 5th ring. He knew she only called when it was an emergency.

“Talk to me. What happened?” Mike doesn’t need to ask how she’s doing, if anything he’ll do it after but he needed to know what in the hell his son did now.

Mike’s voice brought the girl to tears. She felt at ease knowing that Mike was always willing to help her in a time of need.

She sniffles before speaking, “Oh Mike, it’s been two days since I’ve last seen him. He came home Tuesday night without saying a word and left right after showering. I tried to get him to talk but he wouldn’t budge. I’m really worried he hasn’t done this in so long, I don’t know what happened.” She says it all in one breath, and by the time she is done speaking, she’s panting. Mike pauses before replying to the anxious girl.

“I’ll call Dorn and Kelly to see if he’s been staying with them but he’s been going to work. I knew something was up when he refused to talk to anyone.”

“Thank you, Mike, I appreciate you so much.”

“Of course, but Imma need you to remember that when shit hits the fan never give up. You hear me? Never give up, especially with Armando.”

Mike hangs up after speaking and leaves Y/N to wallow in her thoughts. She understood Mike was a busy man and had a separate life so she didn’t take it to heart but it hurt knowing that she was all alone again.

“but we can patch it up good, make confessions and we’re begging for forgiveness, got the wine for you.”

Mike called Y/N back two hours later saying that Armando was on his way home. The girl couldn’t tell if she was happy that he was okay or enraged that he didn’t have the balls to come home without someone having to tell him too. Armando would just have to come home to see the answer to that.

The young woman was frightened, not knowing if this was going to end in a raging verbal war or if everything was going to return to normal. She didn’t want to lose Armando, like she said earlier, she loved him unconditionally.

To kill time, she decided it was best to bake her favorite sweets, chocolate chip cookies. She makes her way to the kitchen to prep the batter. When she goes to preheat the oven, she hears the front door unlock. Armando’s home.

Even after almost two years of being together, he still made her heart race and the butterflies in her stomach never seem to have left.

He walks in and spots her in the kitchen, her back is facing him. He can tell she’s waiting for him to make the first move.

“I’m home.” He closes the front door and locks it, his eyes never leaving her back.

She looks to the right and over her shoulder, “It took you long enough. Where were you?”

“I stayed with Dorn and Kelly. I’m fine Y/N.”

She takes a deep breath and mentally reminds herself that she can’t blow up on him, even though he deserves it. She opens her mouth but nothing comes out. There’s nothing else for her to say, he messed up badly and he needed to be the one to fix this.

“Baby look, lo siento, I do. I don’t know what happened. One second I was okay and then Rita said something and I just got angry. I needed some time to think. I needed space.” He makes his way to the kitchen island, he’s now 5 feet away from Y/N. He yearns for her touch. The last couple of days were hard and all he wanted was a hug from his girl, but he knew he wasn’t getting that.

The oven beeps, cutting off Y/N’s train of thought. She grabs the metal tray filled with cookies and gently puts them into the oven. She turns and is faced with Armando. She takes notice of what he’s wearing. It’s a different outfit, she knew for a fact that he came when she was gone for work. He had left with nothing but his keys on Tuesday and Dorn’s clothes wouldn’t have fit Armando. That man was 6’2 for Christ's sake.

“I didn’t expect you to become a coward and just leave without saying a word but here we are.” Armando could feel the heat radiating off of the 5’2 woman. She may be small but she was frightening when she was angry.

Armando grips the counter, hard, he takes a deep breath before answering the girl.

“I know I fucked up but I just needed space.” She scoffs at his statement.

“Needed space from what exactly?” She manages to huff out. She’s fed up and Armando knows it. One wrong move and he’s a dead man.

“Rafe wouldn’t shut up, okay! He kept talking about you like you were just some piece of meat.! I couldn’t take it! I get that you guys dated but fuck!” Armando's grip on the counter is lethal and his knuckles are practically white.

“Armando Aretas are you jealous?”

“No.”

She smiles and gets a glare in return from her lover. Oh, she was going to have a field day with this.

Before Armando came into the picture Y/N had dated Rafe for about 4 months. It wasn’t anything serious, but if you were to ask her what she thought of Rafe, she’d tell you he was a piece of shit.

“Well I think you’re jealous,” she wasn’t letting it go, “and I think it’s hot but you need to remember that Rafe can be a douchebag.” She makes her way over to Armando and pulls him in for a hug.

“Just next time please don’t leave without saying a word and you have to communicate with me.” She looks up at him with her doe eyes while speaking.

“I promise it won’t happen again. I love you, baby.”

“Religion’s in your lips even if it’s a false god, we’d still worship, we might just get away with it, the altar is my hips even if it’s a false god, we’d still worship this love.”

Without a second to waste Armando sweeps the girl into a passionate kiss. He’s hungry and seeing Kelly and Dorn together really made him miss his girl.

He brings his hands down her body and rests them on her hips. He deepens the kiss by swiping his tongue into her mouth. As much as she wants to fight for it, she knows it’s his turn to take care of her, so she gives in. She runs her hand up to the back of his neck, rests it there, and occasionally plays with the hairs at the base of Armando’s neck. She was the first to pull away, she needed to catch a quick breath before being able to continue. Armando uses this moment to speak.

"Let me take care of you cariño."

Not even a second later, the younger woman lets him devour her like she's his last meal. He maneuvers them to the dining room, grabs her hips, and lifts her onto the table in one swift movement. She lets out a soft gasp when he makes contact with her neck. His teeth sink into the soft skin on the left side of her neck. It hurt, but not enough to cry about it. He soothes the small ache by running his tongue over the semi-red spot. She reacts by putting her hand on the back of his neck, never wanting him to stop. He has her panting, softly. The sounds go straight down into his pants. He chooses to ignore it, he's focusing on her.

He detaches himself from her neck to pull off the oversized tee she's wearing. He throws it to the floor. When he looks at her chest he notices the lacy fabric that hugs her breasts.

He lowers himself to where his lips rest right above her ear and whispers, "You drive me fucking crazy, baby."

Armando kneels in front of her and then proceeds to get a hold of her right leg. Before he continues, he looks up at her. God, he looked so fucking hot. His pupils were enflamed and filled with lust.

He starts to kiss his way up her leg, starting at her ankle, and right when he gets to her inner thing, she lets out a soft gasp. She's got him right where she wants him to be. Armando's right-hand grips the waistband of her black athletic shorts, signaling he wants them off. She lifts her hips and lets him do the rest. Armando takes off both her shorts and panties in one go. He was a tease, but not tonight.

He puts his hands on her hips and guides them to the edge of the table. He has full access and without a second left to spare his mouth makes contact with her folds. She shrieks, then it gets repressed into a moan when he finds her clit. He's lapping at her folds but it's not enough, she needs more.

"More, baby, I need more."

He wastes no time and inserts his ring and middle finger into her seeping wet cunt. Her moans are getting louder, and he fucking loves it. He continues by licking her clit, and her orgasm starts to finally peak.

"Oh fuck, yes, right there." She manages to speak through her moans.

Her right-hand finds its way to his dark brown hair, and she takes a fistful of it, not caring if it hurts him or not. He deserved it, after all, he left her alone for two days. She's close to her orgasm and he can feel it. His mouth makes its way to her clit and about 25 seconds later, she's coming undone.

Her sight fades to black and all she can see are stars. Once the image of them fades away, she looks down at Armando, he's licking her clean. She jerks away, from still being sensitive, but his hands immediately find their way to her hips to keep her in place. Not a drop of cum is going to waste. When he’s done he stands and removes his shirt. Y/N's hands go straight to his jeans, the outline of his cock doesn’t go unnoticed, but before she can get the zipper down the oven beeps. Both of their heads turn in the direction of the kitchen and the girls eyes widen in realization.

“What the fu-,”

"Oh my god, the cookies!"

taglist : @Mayalife38535

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[thewidowsledger]

Secrets Behind Our Dreams

Chapter 13: Option | 6.3k

© thewidowsledger 2024 - DO NOT REPUBLISH AND PLAGIARISE

Summary: You are a club dancer; a stripper. Natasha is a respected notorious mob boss. What would happen if your paths happened to cross one night? The only thing you knew about each other was your dreams, and neither of you knew what the other was.

Pairing: Mob Boss Natasha Romanoff x Stripper Female Reader

Tags | Warnings: 18+, bad writing, making out, smut, top!Natasha, Natasha has a penis, bottom!reader, cunnilingus, fingering (r receiving), arguing, cursing, hostage taking, drugging and kidnapping (I really don't wanna add this because it's a huge spoiler lol)

Author's Note: I added additional details on chapter 12 a few days ago after it was posted, so for those who have already read chapter 12, you might want to read it again because you might have read the unupdated version.

I am not a ballerina nor a professional one, I just wrote what I have researched so pls excuse my stupid mistakes here. This is not proofread and I wrote this chapter in a rush ;')) we are here to burn the slow xD and finally answer who's a lot better? Your vibrator or Natasha?

Navigation | Masterlist | Series Masterlist

⧗

You began to back away, contemplating your next move and your instinctive act of kissing her. Natasha suddenly took hold of you, her sly hands slipping gently on your lower back. She then pulled you back to her, pulling you into a passionate, heated kiss. This time it's not just a lingering kiss on the cheek, not just for a fraction of a second.

The kiss grew more passionate and heated with each passing second. You found yourself moaning against Natasha's mouth, the sounds escaping your lips involuntarily.

There was an undeniable hunger and need in the way Natasha's tongue fought for dominance in your mouth, and you let her have it, giving her control as she ravaged you with her lips—almost as if she couldn't get enough of you. You could only grip her shoulders, thumbs digging into her neck creating a crescent mark in her skin.

Natasha pulled away suddenly, her lips leaving you—leaving you wanting more. You almost chased her mouth, the string of saliva connecting your lips together.

Her gaze upon you was calm and collected, but beneath the surface, you can see the hunger and the dark desire in her eyes. She looked at you as if you were her last meal and she was starving. Her gaze landed on your agape plump mouth again.

“What if you could be all those three at once?”

You looked at her, still trying to catch your breath after the hungry kiss, “What?”

“You heard me.” She husked, her mouth inch closer to yours.

“Wh—” you breathe, “What do you mean?”

She leaned in dangerously closer, her voice dropping to a more sultry tone as she responded, “Well, I suppose it's my job to make sure you don't have to resort to those two options of yours. After all, I wouldn't want you becoming someone else's trophy.”

You felt a shiver course through you as her hand traced down the curve of your back, her touch electric against your skin as she pulled you even closer that you can feel the bulge against her jeans.

“But I’ll offer you a third option,” she continued, her tongue darted out in a swift second, slowly licking her lips as if savoring the remnants you left in her mouth. “You can be all those three at once. A degree holder which you already are, and…”

“Be my personal stripper and my trophy wife.”

The offer were bold and unexpected, yet somehow, they felt right coming from her mouth.

And only a dumb person would decline that offer.

Your breath coming in sharp pants as you look up at her, your eyes captivated by her dilated pupils and parted lips.

“I…I’m a virgin, Nat…” you stuttered in a whisper, your cheeks turning red at your admission.

“That’s not what I asked of you, detka…” her piercing green eyes studying you in a way that made your heart race faster than normal. “But if you're gonna be my wife, I guess I’ll have to know that.”

“I’m gonna ask you again…” her eyes never left yours, you can feel her breath fanning over your lips.

“Can you be my personal stripper and my trophy wife?”

She actually didn't have to ask, again.

You couldn't resist anymore. You surged forward, pulling Natasha into a fierce kiss. Your lips crashed together as your tongues danced in an intimate embrace. You locked your arms around her neck as she scooped your ass up, wrapping your legs around her waist. She carried you over until you could feel the cold pole against your back.

Natasha's lips moved down to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses in their wake. Her breath was hot against your skin as she teased you with soft nips and licks. The sensation sent shivers down your spine, making it hard for you to keep still.

She slowly lowered you back to your feet, her hands now working to unbutton your silk top.

With your top completely off, Natasha let her gaze wander down your body, taking in every curve and inch of skin. Her eyes gleamed with desire as she traced her fingers along the edge of your lace bra.

"You're so fucking beautiful, detka."

And with that, your bra is completely out of your body.

Natasha's hands were now on your breasts, caressing and kneading them as if trying to memorize every inch of your body.

“Is this okay? Detka?” She asked, eyeing you for any sign of discomfort.

“Please, Nat. Make me yours.”

And she did.

Natasha immediately leaned down, her mouth replacing her fingers on your nipple. She sucked and teased it with her tongue, causing you to arch my back with pleasure.

Her mouth was all over you, her tongue tracing a hot, wet path down your body. She moved your legs open and lowered herself between your legs that made you shudder. When she's finally kneeling down in front of you, you let her tug your silk pajamas together with your panties until they're pooling down your feet. She then brought your right leg over her shoulder.

She looked up at you with those piercing dilated green orbs before her tongue flicked against your clit.

“Oh fuck!” Both of your hands gripped her braided hair tightly from the pleasure as she continued to lap you.

Natasha pulled back from you for a moment, her lips glistening with your arousal. “You taste heavenly,” she purred, her voice husky with desire as she locked eyes with you. Her gaze was intense and full of hunger, making you tremble with need.

She brought herself back into you, moaning and sending even more pleasure through your body as she expertly brought you to the edge. This time she plunged one finger inside you with a hunger that matched your own. You can feel the rough texture of her finger through your core but it was immediately coated with your arousal.

Natasha still managed to smirk as she continued to eat you out, it's just one finger and she could feel your tightness clenching around her finger, pulling her deeper inside. That made her crave for you even more.

It has been so long since you had a vibrator inside you, but this one's not a vibrator and you would do anything to come right now.

Her tongue focused on licking and sucking your clit while her forefinger came in and out of your hole, fingering you in rhythmic thrusts that sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body.

“Oh god, fuck, Natasha!” you gasped, your right hand flew to your mouth, muffling your cries of pleasure. She's for sure a lot better than any vibrator you had in your whole life.

Natasha's fingers moved faster and deeper, pressing against that sweet spot inside you. The wet sound of her lapping your core and her finger pushing in and out of your tight hole.

“Oh, Nat I’m gonna!”

And you finally lost all control, crying out in release as your orgasm overtook you. Your body shook and trembled, every muscle tensed as you rode out the waves of pleasure Natasha brought you.

Natasha swiftly pulled your panties and silk pajamas back in place as she stood. You were still high from pleasure and the only thing that keeps you steady is the pole behind you. Your hands are still tangled in her hair and she's now in front of you, she eyed you as she slowly licked her lips and her arousal coated finger. Despite you being high in pleasure, you didn't miss that moment and you could only bite your lip at the sight of her. Your hands moved to her cheeks and desperately pulled her into a kiss, you moaned as you tasted yourself in her mouth.

Natasha gently pulled away and took her leather jacket and let it hang it to your shoulders to cover your bare chest. She now swiftly carried you in a bridal style.

“You did so good for me, detka. So good.” she murmured in your ears, pressing a light kiss against it.

You both left the room, leaving your silk top and lacy bra behind.

⧗

“Maria, we need to tighten up the security,” Natasha said, her voice brooking no argument. “It's not secure if Yelena can just waltz in unannounced like this.”

Maria sighed, crossing her arms, “Did you two talk?”

“If by 'talk' you mean papers scattered on the floor, broken glasses, and a slightly bruised wall,” she responded casually—too casually, “then yes, we talked.”

Maria sighed once again, a sense of weary resignation in her eyes. She had grown up with Natasha, witnessing firsthand the tumultuous relationship between her and her sister. When Natasha had decided to start building her own empire, Maria had been the first one to offer her support—she was even the one who told Natasha to start her own business so she could finally get away from her family.

“There was a change of plans,” Maria confirmed to Natasha, “Is it true that you weren't able to finish the meeting that was held here earlier? Because the associates asked to move to a different location.”

Natasha already knew about this and she nodded in confirmation. It was supposed to be done but your unexpected appearance disrupted the flow of the meeting, but Natasha didn't blame you, though, because she liked the events that followed after that.

If she would have you in that position again—you gripping her hair—pushing and bucking your core down to her mouth as you try to muffle your cries while she eats you out. Hell, she would let you disrupt every meeting she’ll have.

“You good?”

Maria's voice pulled Natasha out of her reverie, and she tried to shake off the thoughts that had been preoccupying her mind just moments ago. A faint blush crept onto her cheeks as she hastily responded, “Yeah, I'm good.”

Maria just hummed but she clearly knows what's going on in the redhead's mind.

“I had Y/N’s clothes that were left in that room put in the laundry.”

Natasha swallowed a lump on her throat as Maria walked towards her, “You might wanna tie your hair back.”

Natasha's hands instinctively went to her braid, her fingers tangling in the thick strands of hair as she pulled it over her shoulder. The hair tie had already been removed, leaving her braid slightly loose in its end.

“You left this too.” She placed a plain black hair tie on her desk, you might have accidentally tugged it while you two…

“Damn, Nat I didn't know that's the purpose of the room you asked me. I thought it was a studio or something.” Maria raised a brow before heading to Natasha's office door.

“Hey! It-it is a studio!” Natasha couldn't help but feel a little defensive as Maria teased her. She tried to maintain her composure, although the faint blush on her cheeks betrayed the things that were going into her mind.

She made it for you, it is a studio, at least that's how she planned it to be.

“Sure…sure, but I wouldn't get shocked if it would turn into a sex den.” Maria teased once again, winking at her best friend before she shut the door.

“Hey! Maria! Comeback here!”

⧗

You slowly blink your eyes open, feeling the soft silk of the sheets against your skin. As you push the comforter aside, realization dawns upon you—you're not wearing anything on your top, and Natasha's jacket is lying haphazardly on the pillow beside you.

Memories of the previous night flood your mind, a cocktail of sensations and emotions. You can still feel the remnants of her touch on your skin and the scent of her perfume lingers on the jacket—on you, sending a shiver down your spine.

With wide eyes, you quickly rush towards the full-length mirror in your room. As you look at your reflection, a wave of surprise and a little bit of shock washes over you. The marks on your skin it's like a roadmap outlining Natasha's path along your body.

You carefully trace your fingers down from your neck, tracing the marks that continue down to the valley of your breasts.

“Be my personal stripper and my trophy wife.”

“Fuck…” you screw your eyes shut at the memories.

Every touch, every caress, every sensation that Natasha had brought out in you came rushing back like a tidal wave. The need for her, the aching desire for her touch, was overwhelming. You closed your eyes tightly, your body instinctively reacting to the recollections of her lips and hands on your skin.

Your eyes scan the table next to your bed, and you spot a white box adorned with red ribbons. Curiosity piqued, you reached out to the box and saw a note tucked into the lid.

“A small trophy, for my wife.”

You bite your lip to the words of Natasha's note. The thought of being marked and claimed in this way awakened a primal part of you that longs to be desired and owned by her.

As you peer inside the box, you find that it contains a single item, a beautiful pair of pink pointe shoes. Your eyes start to glisten with tears as you gently touch the shoe. This one was different, so much more exquisite and perfect compared to the one you had before. Those were cheap, thrift store finds that you had to painstakingly repair and patch up. This new shoe seemed so much... better. It looked elegant and more importantly, it looked comfortable. But you weren't sure if you could wear it; your feet were used to the pain and torture that came with the cheap shoes you usually danced in. You let another tear fall down your cheek before you put the box down and slipped onto some comfortable clothes.

⧗

You had walked to the room Natasha said she made for you, seeking solace and a place to immerse yourself in your dance. An unfamiliar music played softly in the background, a random selection that you didn't recognize but chose to dance to anyway.

As you continued to dance, you looked at the wide wall mirror eyeing your reflection, you observed your movements. The music pulsated through the room, you began to perform a series of ballet moves that you’ve learned on your own. You're a quick learner, you’ve only seen these steps at least once and you can do it neatly in a blink of an eye.

Your body moves with grace and precision. You twirled in elegant pirouettes, extending your leg and pointing your toes during tendus, gracefully arched yourself in arabesques, and leaped through the air with powerful grand jetes. You allow yourself to lose in the movement, each step and twirl flowing effortlessly, your body becoming one with the rhythm and the space around you.

Your dancing was interrupted by the sound of the door opening forcefully. You turned to see Natasha standing at the threshold, her breath labored and her shoulders tensed.

“Natasha?” you ran towards her, your heart in yout throat when you saw the blood seeping through the fabric of her shoulders. The sight stopped you in your tracks and you reached out to touch her, your fingers trembling as they traced over the wetness of the fabric.

“I’ll find Maria.” you said firmly, trying to pull your wrists free from Natasha's grip. But she tugged you back, her eyes pleading with you not to leave her. “No,” she whispered, her was voice broken and vulnerable. “Please don't go. There's a kit behind those speakers," Without a second thought, you ran towards the speakers, moving them aside to reveal a small black case. You opened it up to find bandages, gauze, and painkillers.

Natasha walked slowly towards the pole, her body aching from the injury she had sustained. She sat down heavily, resting her back against the cool metal, and let out a deep sigh of relief, “The shoe fits perfectly?” she asked as she closed her eyes.

“Y-yeah, t-thank you,” you managed to say. And Natasha just hummed but you can feel that she was smiling.

You could feel your mind racing with panic, a million thoughts swirling uncontrollably in your head. Natasha needed you and you are struggling to keep it together. You could hear the blood rushing in your ears as you ran your hands through your sweaty hair, your heart pounding in your chest.

Natasha opened her eyes and looked at you kneeling in front of her. She could see the fear in your eyes and knew that you were trying to keep it under control. She smiled softly, trying to reassure you, “Come here,” she gently took your arm and pulled you on her lap.

“This seems normal to you.” You huffed, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.

It is indeed normal for Natasha to walk back from her latest business, her body covered in bruises and scratches, her clothes tattered, and a gunshot wound on her thigh—it's a lifestyle.

She tugged at the fabric of her sleeves, pulling them up to reveal a fresh cut on her arm, she was stabbed. She winced slightly as you began to clean it, her eyes focusing on you as she gently circled her thumbs on your waist.

“Does Maria know about this?” you quivered.

“No, later maybe, yeah,” rambled, groaning as she adjusted herself. Making you move slightly on her lap.

“I need to call her,” you insisted, but Natasha shook her head, digging her fingers on your waist, “No, you're gonna stay here.”

As you finished cleaning her wound, the room fell into a moment of silence. Natasha sat quietly, her gaze unfocused as she took deep breaths, trying to steady herself. You couldn't help but feel a wave of anxiety wash over you, wondering if you were doing everything right.

The silence became too much to bear, and just as you were about to break the tension, Natasha spoke up. “You scared?” she asked, her voice softer than usual. In that moment, all the worry and fear you had been holding back came pouring out.

“Of course I am!”

You harshly wiped the tears that started streaming down your face. Natasha watched you cry, a pained expression in her eyes. She felt guilty, like she was putting you through unnecessary emotional turmoil.

She moved a strand away from your face, “I don't like seeing you like this,” Natasha whispered, so softly that you almost didn't hear her. But the words were enough to make you stop you, your hands frozen in mid-air as you looked at her. Your eyes were puffy and glossy.

“Natasha,” you breathe, “I don't like seeing you like this too,” you managed to say between sobs, you softly jabbed her chest with your finger. You cannot bear to see her in pain too, her going home with wounds, bruises, stabs, gunshots and for her it's nothing? Maybe for her it is, but for you it's not. What if she comes home cold? Lifeless?

“You don't deserve this.”

Now, you huffed hearing it from her, “Taking everything back?” your face hardened into a smirk as you wiped the tears out your face and quickly moved away from her lap. Natasha furrowed her brows, confused at your question. She tried to chase you to make you stay in that position, she wanted you close to her—now you just moved away.

“So you asking me to be your personal stripper and your trophy wife was what?” Your voice trembled slightly as you voiced your thoughts, “Out of lust? To get to me? To use me?” you chuckled slightly.

“Detka, that's not what it is,” her voice cracked, she didn't want you to think that she was just using you. She never intended that.

“You wouldn't wish a life with me!”

“What if I want this, Natasha?” You asked the question before you could even think, “What if I want this? What if I want you, Natasha? What if I want to be with you?” The words tumbled out of your mouth, each one a confession that left you feeling exposed and vulnerable. You gulped the lump on your throat, turning your back at her as you sob uncontrollably.

Natasha hesitated for a moment, her heart pounding in her chest as she processed your words. She watched as you turned away from her and her instincts kicked in. Without thinking, she stood despite the pain on her shoulder. Then, she moved closer, her hands gently reaching for your waist.

At first, Natasha was taken aback when you swatted her hands away. You turned to look at her, she saw the clear view of your face—the uncertainty and pain in your eyes, followed by a flash of something else - desire? She didn't think twice as she reached for you again, pulling you closer by your elbows.

“Natasha, no,” your voice barely above a whisper. You tried to move to push her away but Natasha was determined. She pulled you closer still, your face just inches from hers now. Her eyes locked on yours.

“Y/N, don't fight me,” gently, her hands moved down to your cheek and you didn't fight back. Tears started streaming down your face again as you cling to her touch, she looked at you before closing the gap of your lips, pulling you into a searing kiss. She could taste the saltiness of your tears on her lips and it only made her want to hold you tighter, wanting to stay like this with you forever.

You managed to pull away from her and Natasha tried chasing your lips but you immediately stepped back. You stood there for a couple of seconds, waiting for her to say something, you wanted her to say something but no words came out of her mouth.

You wiped your tears away and swallowed a sob before speaking, “I…uhh, I’ll find Maria.” With that, you turned and left the room not daring to look at her because you know what's going to happen if you do.

⧗

You just found clinging to Yelena as she drives her bike away from the manor. You just called Maria to get Natasha and you went into the kitchen when Yelena approached you and proposed an idea, suggesting a ‘little escapade’ as she calls it when she saw you all vulnerable alone after your encounter with her sister. And without hesitation, you found yourself nodding in agreement. The manor had been stifling and you desperately craved a breath of fresh air.

You were easy, too easy.

Yelena stopped the bike at a nearby ice cream place, she turned to you and inquired, “So, where do you wanna go?”

Your response was a nonchalant shrug, not having any specific destination in mind. Sensing your lack of a preference, Yelena grinned. “Let's grab some ice-cream then,” she said, gesturing towards the ice-cream parlor.

Yelena immediately went straight to the counter and placed the order for both of you, not even bothering to ask what you wanted. You sat silently, patiently waiting for her to finish. It was your first time leaving the manor in what felt like forever, and you relished the opportunity to be out and about once again. But as you sat there waiting, your mind began to drift to Natasha once again. Thoughts of her started to plague your mind, you couldn't help but replay the argument in your head, recalling every word and the addicting touch of hers. You tried to make sense of what had happened and how things had spiraled out—how you spiraled out.

You want her, you want to be with her. You long to hear the simple words that she used to soothe your worries and fears, that you just have to stay and be with her and no harm will come after you. Yet, deep down, maybe you yearned for more than just those words, maybe you wanted her to say the same thing—that she wants you and she wants to be with you.

“Ice-cream for your thoughts?” Yelena waved the ice-cream cone on your face, pulling you out of your deep thoughts of her sister.

You immediately took it and walked out of the ice-cream parlor and Yelena walked after you, “How much do I owe you?” You asked.

“Why? Do you have money with you?” She asked back, huffing knowing that you have none.

“No,” you replied quietly, savoring the taste of the strawberry ice cream. “I only have a black dress, a pair of heels, and a knife,” you mumbled. “And lingerie,” you added as an afterthought.

In truth, you barely had anything that was truly your own. All you had were the clothes you had worn the night you worked at Valkyrie's and that's everything you got since ending up in Natasha's penthouse.

After finishing your ice cream, you saw a nearby library. And you made a bold request, despite your attempts to keep your facade of aloofness intact. You tried to maintain a certain distance from Yelena. Yes, you accepted her ‘little escapade’ but that doesn't mean that you had forgotten how she had treated you since the day you two met. Her harsh attitude and scathing insults still echoed in your mind and you couldn't help but feel a pang of resentment and wariness whenever you were near her. But right now, you have no time for that, you want peace and a breather.

“I want to go inside,” you said, your voice betraying a hint of pleading despite your efforts to sound indifferent. “Please.”

“You look cute when you beg.”

Irritation flared in you at Yelena's mocking tone and teasing words. You couldn't help but roll your eyes in response, you licked your thumb after you finished your ice-cream to get the small crumbs left of the cone. With doe eyes, you stared at her that caused her to almost choke at her ice-cream.

“Yeah, thanks, your sister hears it a lot,” you replied with a wink, before crossing the street towards the direction of the library leaving her behind.

“Zlyushchaya suka.” (Feisty bitch) She whispered under breath before running after you.

As you entered the library, the aroma of old books and the hush of whispered conversations enveloped you. You approached the counter and without wasting any time, you signed your name on the guest book, eager to immerse yourself in the library's collection of books. Yelena followed suit, walking over to the counter and casually scratching her name onto the page.

As you maneuvered through the library, you were drawn to a section filled with the works of Emily Dickinson. Your eyes landed on her collection, and a sense of comfort washed over you. You had a deep fondness for the poet's work, and you eagerly reached out to pick up one of her books.

Yelena, meanwhile, was casually browsing nearby. When she saw what book you had chosen, her eyes widened momentarily,

“You read Dickinson too?”

“Wild nights, wild nights, were I with thee wild nights should be, our luxury…” You lazily recited just to prove her that you do read Dickinson's works. You grabbed a book that caught your eye and walked towards the blonde, you placed it on the top of the book she's reading.

“Grumpy Monkey,” Yelena read the title to herself. Her mouth agaped slightly offended at what you did, she immediately immersed herself to look for a perfect book to give you.

Yelena approached you with a cocky smirk, slamming a book onto the table. With a hint of mockery in her tone, she asked, “You live there?” you looked at the book entitled: Bitch Planet, Volume 1: Extraordinary Machine

You flashed a book in her face, as if you're ready for this, “Mr. Author Lewis here wants to give you an advice on how to raise your I.Q.” She read the title in her mind, How to Raise Your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children.

“Okay, that’s alarming,” Yelena pointed out, which made you giggle. She returned to look for more books and spotted a book with a hilariously controversial title. She couldn't resist the urge to call out to you in a loud whisper, waving the book in her hand. “Hey, hey!”

Eating People is Wrong you read, despite the distance between you, Yelena's infectious laughter managed to reach your ears. Her boisterous chuckle filled the library, causing a few heads to turn in your direction. You immediately shush her causing the blonde to slowly and pretend to look for a book to read.

“Games You Can Play with Your Pussy; and Lots of Other Stuff Cat Owners Should Know.” You read in disgust and you turned to look at Yelena who was sitting in front of you, her eyes watered as she fought back the tears forming in her eyes, her shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter.

“Terrible book title,” you remarked. She pulled another one that made you roll your eyes, did she really just collect books with controversial, alarming and terrible titles?

You sighed as you read the title again. “Still Stripping After 25 Years,” you gasped, which made Yelena slap the table, still trying not to burst into laughter. You didn't even read the blurb of the book before you judged, “They should not put this in a public library!” You whisper-shouted.

“Okay, that's enough,” you chastised her, she was sitting on her seat in an almost slouching manner and you found yourself crossing your arms across your chest as you raised a questioning brow at her but she instantly straightened up and adjusted her vest.

It feels like you're with a kid, honestly.

“I like your vest.”

Yelena’s eyes widened at your compliment, “I just absolutely love vests with lots of pockets. They're so practical, and they just have that perfect blend of style and function, you know?” she giddily rambled. You just hummed as you flipped the book you’re reading.

“It's actually Natasha’s,” the revelation made you look at her, “I took all her clothes when she left.”

“How long has it been since she left? If you don't mind me asking…” you inquired carefully, hoping that you didn't cross any line.

“18 years, papa made her manage the business with him at 16 then she left when she was 19.”

“She started that young?” Yelena just hummed, her energy immediately dropping down.

“You know, your sister loves you,” Yelena immediately eyed you after you said those words, “Even though you always come around her property with no invitations,” you chuckled as you closed the book that you had no plans on finishing reading.

She just shook her head slightly as if she's trying to focus her mind and remove thoughts in her brain.

She hates you, she reminded herself.

“Let's go out, go for a walk.” You gave her a smile and grabbed her hand, the closeness making the blonde guilty.

As you and Yelena stepped outside the library, you noticed a small box on the sidewalk, filled with six adorable puppies, each of them looking at you with curious eyes. A $20 sign hung over the box, indicating that they were for sale. Poor adorable puppies just being sold?

Yelena's phone suddenly vibrated from her pocket, causing her to break away from your grasp. She looked at you apologetically and told you that she will just get it for a second. You nodded and informed her that you will go see the puppies, you pointed the direction so she'll know where you are before you both went your separate ways.

“The delivery should be done in 15 minutes, we’ve waited for so long.”

Yelena's heart dropped as she saw the text on the small screen. Guilt and dread, that's what she feels right now. She made a huge mistake on getting too close to you, this wasn't supposed to happen, she never intended to let her guard down and warm up to you.

She hated the fact that you have no crumb of flaws in you, well yes, of course you have your own flaws but it's not enough for her to hate. She tried testing you as if she was digging the pandora's box, it's nowhere to be found. She can't find any reason to hate you.

And she hate you for that. She hates you, she did. She hated you.

Yelena's heart raced as she desperately searched for you, but you were nowhere in sight. She spotted a two black van meters away from her and panic gripped her as she frantically looked for you. But suddenly, she saw you waving at her, a small puppy cradled in your arms. She immediately ran towards your direction.

“Can we get this puppy for Natasha? You know your sister always wanted a pup—”

You were taken aback when Yelena withdrew a wad of cash from her pocket and swiftly pulled out a $100 bill. Without a moment's hesitation, she grabbed your arm and quickly yanked you away from the scene, she wasn't even able to get her change.

“I need to get you back to the manor.”

The golden retriever puppy was whining in your arms and you cooed it even though you're being dragged by the blonde.

Yelena's panic intensified as her gaze darted anxiously in different directions. She noticed the same van she saw earlier moving slowly, following closely behind the both of you. Her focus shifted to you, and she watched you coo at the puppy in your arms, blissfully unaware of the danger that was trailing behind. Yelena's heart wrenched as she realized that she had never intended for things to take this turn—with you.

Yelena fished out her motorcycle keys from her pocket. She quickly straddled the bike and turned on the ignition.

“Get in.”

Despite her brusque tone, you quickly obeyed her and swung your leg over the bike, settling in behind her. Suddenly, without any warning, she gunned the engine and the motorcycle shot forward, taking off like a rocket down the street. The small puppy in your arms gave a slight yelp, startled by the sudden movement. You instinctively cradled the furry bundle closer to your body.

“Can you drive slow?” you asked worrily as you try to balance yourself in the bike, you weren't holding anything for support just the little puppy in your arms.

As Yelena prepared to turn the corner, her eyes widened in horror as she suddenly saw a van blocking the road and she can't just maneuver around it. Yelena's heart raced, and she had no choice but to hit the brakes, bringing the motorcycle to a skidding halt. The puppy in your arms whimpered softly at the sudden stop. Yelena considered backtracking, but her hopes were dashed as she saw the van that had been pursuing you earlier was now blocking the return path as well.

“Yelena? What's happening?” You asked as you were practically being trapped by the two vans.

Yelena could only grip on the handlebars at your question, her knuckles turning white as she struggled to keep her composure. She didn't give an immediate answer, her gaze flickering between the van that blocked your path and the one behind, trying to figure out a way out. After a minute of contemplating, she gave up.

“Just stay here. I'm sorry.” Yelena told you, you nodded slightly as you adjusted yourself in the seat of her bike.

Why is she apologizing?

Yelena dismounted the motorcycle and slowly approached the van. The driver's door opened and a bald burly, threatening-looking man stepped out, a hardened scowl on his face.

The bald man's voice lowered into a menacing growl as he confronted Yelena. “You tryna run away from us?”

“No.”

The man's expression darkened and he took a step closer to her. “Give us the girl now,” he demanded, leaving no room for negotiation, though this is a negotiation.

In a snap Yelena seized the burly man and she held him like a shield, using him as a means to keep the others at bay. As the other men started to exit the van, their faces hardened and their hands reaching for their weapons, Yelena's eyes darted from one to the other.

“Let the girl go and I'll let this bald-headed demon man go.”

“Yelena what's happening?” You called out to her in a whimper.

“I'm sorry, Y/N. Please come here.”

You immediately obeyed her command, slowly stepping off the bike and moving closer to her. As you did so, you turned around, trying to keep an eye on the men who were approaching from behind.

As you stood behind Yelena, the weight of the situation started to sink in. Your heart pounded in your chest and fear gripped you. You clutched the puppy tightly, its small form shaking slightly in your arms. Panic coursed through your veins and you couldn't help but look around, searching for a way out or any sign of help. “Y-Yelena?” you stuttered.

“Y/N, forgive me. I promise I’ll get you back to Natash—”

She wasn't able to finish her words when she suddenly dropped to the ground, unconscious after being shot with a tranquilizer the men had fired at her. Your heart froze and you could barely comprehend what was happening.

“Yelena!” Your voice was filled with anguish as you called out to her, tears streaming down your face.

The man she has been holding captive earlier stalked towards you and yanked you by your arm. The suddenness of the grab made you release your hold on the puppy. The man's eyes roamed over your body and ripped your top, he quickly inspected your shoulders. Satisfied with what he saw, he glanced up at the other men and shouted, “This is the one!”

“Yelena!” you hollered as the man wrapped his arms around your waist and dragged you. Even in your disoriented state, your survival instincts kicked in. With all the strength you could muster, you tried to fight back against the man who was holding you.

“Fuck you!” You growled, you spat at the face of the man, he was really enraged as he wipe the spit on his face but when he poised to strike you a man intervened grasping his wrist.

“We cannot leave no marks on her,” he calmly said, a sinister smile starting to form on his face.

“Fuck you too!” You shouted, the adrenaline pumping through your veins gives you a momentary burst of courage.

He smirked at how feisty you are but he then shushed you and pressed a cloth over your nose and mouth, “You've brought us in so much trouble already, you're gonna pay for it.”

You never stopped to fight back but your limbs started to flail weakly, your attempts to kick and struggle against them proving futile.

The world blurred around you as tears streamed down your face, your voice hoarse from crying out Yelena's name once more before everything started to fade away and the last thing you saw was the small puppy nudging Yelena's unconscious body.

Secrets Behind Our Dreams: Masterlist

[boypied]

pairings: boss!henry cavill x male reader

request: where Boss henry offers picks up the reader from his house to go to work, but the reader wakes up late and is rushing out the house with a shirt and shorts on and his suit in the bag. while driving henry rests hand on readers thigh, reader is cold and begins slowly moving his thighs in order for some rubbing action hoping henry doesnt notice him moving, readers boner begins to grow but is evident with his shorts, (not sure really how they get to the sex part like does henry say something about his boner or does reader ask for a quickie idk) but henry ends up pulling in a gas station or diner parking lot and grabs reader into his a passionate kiss and puts reader on his lap for a breeding quickie, reader riding henry, henry also extra horny as theyre in public and he would love to be caught in the act etc, biting readers neck and touching his nipples and hips , when henry cums inside him they slowly kiss and reader just grinds against him and cums on henry's suit.. you can decide the ending. idk if that's good or not, im just too horny rn, lol

warning: SMUT ! , car sex, breeding, swearing, thigh kink.

MDNI + FDNI !

The sound of your alarm echoed in your ear. You subconsciously pressed snooze about 4 times before taking an actual look at the time "8:30 !" You yell out in shock, you rush to look outside your window to see Henry's car waiting."Shit!" You almost choke on your words when you realise how bad you've messed up.

You quickly rush to your wardrobe and pull out a plain white shirt and some shorts while stuffing your work suit into a bag. Henry knocks on the door and waits outside impatiently, "One minute!" You shout down as you rush downstairs, putting on your shoes. You swing open the front door to reveal your boss, Henry.

"I'm so so so so so so so so so sorry, Sir." You plead with him, "I hope this doesn't make me lose my job or anything, " you say, turning to face him. His stern face turns into a smirk. "Don't worry, you won't lose your job over it. But you will be in my debt. " he walks over to his car with a devious smirk on his face.

He opens the passenger door for you, and you climb inside. You noticed that your shorts had ridden up, but the position you were in you couldn't pull them down, so you would have to deal with the drive while your thighs are exposed.

Henry takes one hand off the steering wheel and places it down on your thigh once you feel the warmth of his hand on your leg. Your heart begins to race as you've had the hots for him since you started work there.

Henry begins to gently rub your thigh, his hand going back and forth, ever so slightly getting higher and higher, his fingers slowly dipping into your inner thigh, which causes your dick to start growing causing a very obvious bulge in your shorts.

Henry notices and begins to tease your thigh, his fingers gently go up your shorts and rub the tip of your cock. You mumble a moan slightly "fuckk" that was quickly short-lived as his hand goes back to the steering wheel.

"Awh Fuck. We're going to need to stop for some gas. " Henry's hand leaves your thigh and goes back to the steering wheel turning into the gas station. Henry gets out of the car and goes to fill up the car. You use your arm to cover up your boner.

Once Henry gets himself back inside the car, he turns to face you "fuck it" he says while smirking as he pulls you onto his lap, sliding his tongue into your mouth. Your heart races as you grind your hips against your bosses clothed dick. His hand glides up your shirt and he gently pinches your nipple while the other hand grips your ass.

Henry pulls away from the kiss and begins to unbutton his shirt to reveal his hairy chest and rippling abs. You run your hands down his body, admiring it, caressing each ab. He grabs the back of your neck and pulls you towards him "I am going to fuck you so hard, baby boy" Henry says while gently twisting your nipple, "F-Fuckk." You moan out. "We're going to have to make this quick, okay baby?" He pleads with you as he watches you grind your hips against him "yes sir." You smirk.

Henry unbuckles his trousers and pulls his dick out, "Spit for me." he says while holding his hand up to your mouth. You release your spit into his hand, and he jerks his cock to spread the spit. "Sit on it, baby." He smirks as you gently slide down onto his cock, your walls spreading to make room for his size.

"F-Fuck! You're so big, Henry." You moan out as you gently reach the base of his cock. "You're taking me so well, baby, Just look out the window. Everyone can see how well you're taking me." he smirks as your face contorts from slight pain to absolute pleasure. You begin to slowly pick up the pace as you ride him, Henry leans up and holds your waist, and he thrusts deep inside you, hitting your g-spot.

"H-Henry! Fuckin' hell" You moan out as he continues to hit your sweet spot at every chance he gets. "Fuck! I'm gonna cum boy" Henry says through his gritted teeth, as he paints your walls white. He continues to fuck your ass feeling his cum slip around your insides, coating your sweet spot in his cum. He pulls you down into a kiss, your tongues sliding around all over eachother as you gently thrust you cock against his abs, climaxing. You moan into the kiss and you pain his abs with cum..

You both breathe heavily, "fuckin' hell, we need to do this more often." Henry says while smirking, admiring the state you are in. "I am obsessed with you dick, sir." You say while blushing, "that sounds about right. " Henry smirks as smacks your ass, "how about round two back at my place?". You blush at his request. "How could I say no?" You smirk.

[janesgms]

Asteroid Industria

✨️ Industria (389) Persona Chart Edition ✨️

Having a 5th house stellium can indicate that you will work in the creative field or with children in general, it can also indicate that your own children will interfere in your career like bringing your children with you to your job (and this can cause problems to you depending on the planets we're talking about).

career examples: being a teacher, a pediatrician, a performer, an artist

Sun conjunct mercury indicates your job has a lot to do with communicating yourself/speaking in general, your job is a lot about languages or just communicating in general.

career examples: being a teacher (again), a singer, a mailman, etc. it reminds me of hermes in greek mythology

Having a 2nd house stellium is a huge indicator of having a job that brings you financial comfort and gains in general, you're probably the "official" supporter of the house financially.

Virgo stellium in this chart shows someone bery hardworker, to the point where it's even obsessive depending on the planets and aspects, people can even take advantage of you because you have no problem with doing the "dirty work".

7th house moon is an indicator you have a soft heart in your job space and a lot of peoole with bad intentions take advantage of your kindness, you need to set your boundaries, seriously.

3rd house venus = gossips about your love life in your job space?? 👀 just a guess

Neptune square moon can indicate that you're very uncertain or lost when it comes to choosing what your heart wants for a profession, you feel like there isn't a dream job for you and you'll just get on with life lol. I think this also applies specially if you have pisces personal placements or a stellium in this chart.

On the other side, and kind of surprisingly, moon conjunct neptune can indicate that you've always dreamt about a certain job and it fits you like a glove.

Mars in the 8th house can mean you like to work alone, secretly, you don't like to be ordered around much and you hate when people invade your privacy in your work space.

Having a libra venus in this chart can indicate your beauty and charm have a huge impact on your job.

celebrity example: Taehyung from BTS

Having a libra midheaven can mean your aesthetic has a huge impact on others, you can influenciate a lot of people from your profession.

celebrity example: Lana Del Rey

I think Taurus stellium is a huge indicator of talent and a gorgeous aura in general that makes people pulled in by you in your job space. You'll probably work in the comestics/fashion area (sometimes people forget that venus also rules taurus but let's give them some credits too here lmao)

Mercury in the 5th house: you communicate yourself so pretty, so beautifully in your job, your words and/or voice let people in awe, this has a siren effect but not necessarily a singing voice. Your words can be hypnotizing and your diction too

7th house venus or stellium can indicate your romantic life impacts on your job immensely, even negatively if you're not careful. Also, it can mean you'll find your significant others in your profession field.

Pluto sextile sun means you impose yourself beautifully in your profession, you have an impact on others in a gracious but unforgettable way.

1st house moon can mean you pour your heart out when you're really trying hard to leave an impression through your job. This can also means you care a lot about how others perceive your appearance and this affects you really personally

5th house venus is so pretty, I wish I had it in my chart lol, this person really knows how to use her creativity to make her job properly, she has a natural talent for what she does.

Having a combo of positive aspects between the moon/venus/asc in this chart can indicate your femininity is very in tune in your profession field, you can come off as really beautiful and "in form"/put together when you're working, you just know how to have the ideal vibes, you know? This is very beautiful.

1° Sun means you can show your ego pretty easily when you're in your job space, unless neptune is aspecting it or it's in pisces, then you can hide it pretty well, but you still can be very certain about your abilities and even your appearance, this can indicate a natural leader.

A Leo or Aquarius MC is the true trendsetter of their professional field, they have the best ideas and they're always ahead of others, they can be really inovative. Leo can do it in a more traditional way that still works and leave an impact, in a big and colorful way, aquarius make it in a standing way that leaves people shocked with their ideas, they do that crazy thought that others are scared. The Leo MC knows that they're the royalty and the Aquarius MC knows that they're the mastermind. This duo can work greatly together, their ideas mix pretty well.

1st house Mars in aries are such fast workers!! they do their job pretty fast

I've talked about virgo stellium, but Capricorn stellium are the TRUE workaholics and they do the hard job without an ounce of laziness, they're down for anything as long as it makes them satisfied with fulfilling a useful meaning to them and with ✨️money✨️ of course lol

Speaking of capricorn, having a Capricorn MC means you have fame of doing your job impeccably, you're not joking in your area lol.

If aries/1st house placements are fast workers, taurus/2nd house placements are the opposite. They appreciate the details very much and they hate doing a job for the "half", they can be slow workers but their talent makes it worth it.

8th house pluto and/or mars can indicate you're pretty envied in your job space 🤫 be careful with gossips, lies and secrets...

Scorpio moons do not put their souls in their jobs, their jobs ARE their souls, they pour everything in their profession. They turn their traumas in art

[flowerfreya]

Are you hungry ?

Part 10 of The Office AU

Masterlist

Pairing: poly!141 x Reader

Content: Reader makes dinner for men but no one wants to eat it ( I really am talking about food lol , get your head out of the gutter )

I think I am going to have reader interact with Soap next chapter and maybe a fight with wacky girlfriend

You’re being dumb , but your lonely , sad and he’s there.  Your ex boyfriend saw you at the grocery store after the whole shit show of a day with the wacky ex girlfriend now current girlfriend. 

He sees you before you see him and he comes up behind you and scares the living shit out of you. Turning around quickly , you get ready to give whoever it is hell when you see who it is. 

He lifts his hands in a mock surrender, “Chill”, he laughs. 

You're not really in the mode for his shit but it’s nice to be in someone's energy that you know. 

He looks at you up and down, “You look good”, he says. 

You fold immediately. He asks you to come back to his place for dinner. You have to finish shopping because he mentions that he hasn't had any food since you left. You pay for the groceries because he isn’t able to because he lost his job and hasn’t been able to find a new one. You meet him at his place , which used to be your place.

When you finish bringing in the groceries and putting them up in the kitchen, “Hey do you want to help me cook”, you turn your body away from the stove and look at him on the barstool on his phone. 

“No, you're better at that stuff than me”, he doesn’t even look up to answer the question. 

“Oh, okay”, you are ignoring the red flags, you just need something. You're not sure but being alone after always being in a relationship is…just not working for you. You like to be needed and wanted and after a long day you want someone to talk too. 

“So how was your day”, you're trying to make small talk , maybe to lead into something more. You and the boys have great banter. You could be talking about nothing and still feel like you are having meaningful conversation. 

“Good”.

“What did you do today?”

“Nothing”.

“Crazy weather we had” 

“Maybe we don’t have to talk”, you look over at him as he says that and decide right then and there that this was a bad idea. 

You remember this is why you broke up with him. He seems like he hates you. Only tolerating you because you make his home life easy and has a good lay. 

You don’t even want to finish dinner but you brought all these groceries and you’ll be damned if you waste it. 

“Dinner is done”, you sit down with your food in front of you and start eating. You look at your ex and see that he is staring at you, almost in a confused manner. 

“Are you not going to make me a plate”, you hate that you used to do that. You would have never done that with anyone else but he made it like the food was better when you put it on the plate for him. Like his mother. 

“I’m not your servant”, you reply. Going back to finishing your food. You start to think about how you're going to take all this home without causing a fuss. 

You hear the chair scrape across the floor as he stands up and gets his dinner for the first time in god knows how long.

You finish your dinner in record time. You clean up the kitchen and pack the food up and let him know that you’ll be right back. 

Once you get back to your car, you leave. It makes you giggle because you know he’s waiting for  you to come back up and you won’t. 

When you get home, you call Simon, “Alright”, he answers after three rings. 

“Yeah all good, just wondering if you're hungry”, you ask. You’re a little giddy because of what you just did. 

But then you hear her in the background, she asks who is calling him this late.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had company”, you hang up before he gets a chance to respond. You know you shouldn’t be jealous of the wacky girlfriend, you just got out of a relationship but she doesn’t deserve them but you are jealous of the wacky girlfriend. 

You blop down on the couch with a twisted tea and some melatonin and hope to pass out and forget all about tonight and hope that maybe tomorrow Simon will want to eat with you. 

[theveryworstthing]

I'm Alive

I posted this on patreon so I might as well post it again here. Hopefully current and past patrons see this as well as people who have just been generally curious about where I've been.

I'm very sorry for not being around and I'm very grateful to those who stuck around. To those who didn't, I get it and I truly appreciate you passing through. 

Last year and the beginning of this year have been pretty bad. Some of you might have heard about my grandma's death and sadly, she was just the first of the family losses in the time I've been gone. There was also a friend's death discovery, my parents' health tanking, my friends Going Through It, and my own physical/mental problems. I didn't want to talk to the internet about these things because they were/are very overwhelming and private and tbh I used all my energy to help with the household and make sure work got turned in on time. When I had spare time after dealing with the near constant disasters, I didn't really feel like interacting with the internet at all beyond using it as a way to talk to far away friends (mostly to give them the thumbs up that i was alive) or watch/read things when my brain was less scrambled. Social media was an absolute no go and I didn't have any non-work art to post so I just kind of mentally crawled under the porch to die lol. 

I only drew work related things for months due to extreme burnout and it took me almost a month off after my last job to remember how to create again. I couldn't draw or write, it was kinda like art block except it was more like nothing was there at all? It's hard to explain. 

Things are still happening but I need to get back in the saddle eventually so here I am. 

I'm going to post the little art I did in June and all the sketches I did in January when I re-learned how to draw for myself. Again, I'm so sorry for being away without saying anything and I'm grateful to whoever threw me a buck, or even just casually enjoyed my art. Leaving like I did was really irresponsible and there's no excuse for not at least making a post about all of this sooner.  Every month I got a patreon payment was another wave of guilt because I literally couldn't give y'all anything but at the same time that money was letting me book flights to funerals and keeping my mom comfortable while she recovered from surgery right after I spent a lot of my savings in 2022 trying to fight my late cat's cancer. And then not posting about what was going on made me more anxious as time went on because there was more guilt every month so I felt like I needed to come back with a bunch of art and energy and good reasons and it was just. A Mess. 

But anyway.

I'm alive, I'm back. The Horrors persist, but so do I.

Thank you for your patience.

[taystarotoverload]

WHO is your Future Spouse?

‼️WARNING‼️: some 18+ & looooottttssss of detail 😮‍💨

☆ this is JUST a general reading so take what resonates leave what doesn’t. we’re going to be diving into 9 different topics about details on who your future spouse is, and some extra little goodies at the end😉

☆ how to PICK A PILE: Breathe in deeply for 3 and out for 5. Meditate on each picture continuing this manual breathing. Ask spirit out loud or in your head “who is my future spouse” and meditate on it. You’ll hear a number or see a number pop into your head, or maybe you’ll feel drawn to a certain pile. whatever works for you go for it! if you’re new to pick a piles this may be difficult at first, but as you read and watch them more and more the process becomes much easier! 😊

☆ DECKS USED:

Tarot:

A.E. Waite Tarot (pile 1) Cat Tarot (pile 2) Wild Unknown (pile 3)

Oracle:

Fairy Wisdom Oracle, Wild Mystic, Romance Angels

☆ lastly thank you thank you to my guides and your guides for offering me and providing me the energy, knowledge, and guidance to do this reading. 🤍

PILE 1

your energy check in:

these are clarifying cards for you and your currently energy, this helps me connect to you further and also makes sure this reading is right for you! <3

the fool - the world - ace of wands - page of swords

so what i’m seeing is you’re 100% a leader. you also love going out, you love the outdoors, you love nature and seeing life for what it’s truly about. i see you’re somebody who doesn’t let the hardships of life run you down and ruin you. i see you’re somebody who is a go getter and isn’t afraid to be adventurous and courageous and step out of their comfort zone. you like being the person you are and you’re not going to let anyone stop you. i’m also seeing that right now you’re in a transition. your life is transforming alot right now, you might be given many job opportunities or travel opportunities and you’re just thinking “wow when did i get so lucky?” lol i’m also seeing that you ?recently? just got out of a really rocky situation or part of your life and this is why your energy is so bright and vibrant. i’m viewing you as the sun pile 1 you seem very extroverted at times. again with the leadership this is what is leading you towards these amazing opportunities. you’re a big helping hand to others and people appreciate you greatly.

oracle: Magic Frog

so even though pile 1 you seem very bright and good energy, you have a bad problem overworking yourself and giving yourself a hard time. i’m seeing that when it comes to your work and the time you spend creating these ideas and being a leader you never seem to put in time for yourself. it’s always “i need to do this i need to do that” spirit is asking you to just chill. that’s a cool way of putting it but relaxing is good for you. especially for right now i’m seeing you just need a nice hot bath, some oils, some wine (if you’re of age😉) and some slow gentle music. don’t be afraid to have fun and have a good time! you don’t have to live in an endless boring cycle where you feel like you’re going nowhere in life, because the universe has so much to offer!

other messages: childlike, green eyes, brown hair, olive skin, pisces, leo, taurus, aquarius, scorpio, white cloth, yellow, sun, golden retriever

Their Energy:

2 of swords - 5 of pentacles - the empress - page of pentacles

so basically this is very much opposite energy here lol. i’m seeing for you pile 1 your future spouse has been through a LOT. they have faced many battles and challenges physically and mentally. in the physical world i’m seeing that they have been perhaps stabbed in the back by people closest to them. or they were manipulated in some way? something to do with friendships here but im seeing that they are someone who has been through a lot. and they’re currently going through their own battles right now but it’s starting to cool down. they may be somebody you’d associate with the rain?? only cause i keep seeing like grey rain clouds and then like the calm after the storm type of thing. your future spouses energy is very introverted which is definitely opposite to yours, because even if you pile 1 are introverted they take the crown lol. they are somebody who doesn’t open up to people quickly and is very very protective of their energy. but do not be mistake because they aren’t weak in any way. they are very strong person. they don’t need your protection or others they know how to protect themselves when needed. they may be a little bit hard headed but it’s not big deal lol… i’m seeing that they are working towards a better future for themselves. they don’t want to stay stuck dwelling on the past but they can’t seem to help it sometimes. they are in dire need of shadow work lol. also off topic but y’all have similar energy in some ways. they’re a very creative person aswell and i was just getting that you could meet them through creative projects.. perhaps through work or some sort of activity. i’m also getting that their energy seems very feminine??? but take what resonated obvi!!

oracle: bubble rider

this is just confirming what i said previously. spirit wants to give your person a helping hand and a push of wisdom. they need to start thinking about themselves in the moment because they’re so worried and fixated on other people that they don’t make time for themselves!!! this is something that they really really need to work on and work through because life is going to throw challenges at them and they’re going to have to learn from it. the picture illustrates a girl looking defeated on a bubble and seems to be curled up towards herself. and this is your future spouse's energy. they need to just open up and be apart of the moment be apart of the world. they need to not be afraid of a little bit of challenge in their life because they will come out stronger.

other messages: feminine, wounded, trauma, fake friends, badass, blonde, curves, aries

your fav things abt your fs:

3 of cups: they are somebody who seems to love close relationships with friends and family. they cherish those close connections. i think when they become comfortable with you they open up a side of them you didn’t know existed. they are honestly a totally different person behind closed doors and it’s something you admire. especially how they treat their family and friends you’re just like ‘where have you been all my life?????’

6 of wands: even though your fs isn’t somebody who is really out there and super extroverted they have these really amazing creative ideas and projects that they bring into light and offer to whatever work they’re putting in. and im seeing that people around them are extremely grateful towards them for it because it offers a lot of things and opportunities for others and also benefits the project. this is something that you admire about them is that they’re just extremely intelligent in what they do.

the lovers: i’m seeing this person has a really good balance between feminine and masculine? like it's honestly pretty attractive to you because you’re like “wow i didn’t know it did that” type of energy haha

10 of cups: they’re very grateful for what people give to them and how they receive things. they aren’t somebody who is stuck up, and is childish in things that they want. i’m seeing that especially when it comes to you they’re very protective towards your emotions and feelings because they cherish you greatly. i see that this relationship will be very new to them or it will be different from what they’ve had in the past.

king of cups: wow okay they’re big on protecting. i'm not seeing overprotective but i’m just seeing that they’re very careful with you. like you’re very precious to them and they just never want to hurt you in any way. very black cat energy if i’m being totally honest haha

their fav things abt you:

knight of swords: so like i said earlier you’re go getters if you want something you’re going to get it and there is no stopping you. i’m seeing that you can be assertive and very blunt and they really like that about you. they really like that you don’t give up easily and can stick up for yourself.

7 of wands: again with the assertiveness. your leadership really shows up when it’s needed and you aren’t afraid of change and making change. you’re somebody who likes to bring facts to the table and defend yourself and what you believe in because to you, that’s what is right. your fs really does admire this about you, and it might influence them a little bit to be as strong and confident as you are. i’m seeing that you might be somebody who is big in being an activist and you really like change. maybe in the work place, your daily life, or just the world. it’s something that you strive to do.

ace of swords: when you are given an opportunity you will take it, but not before you sit and think about it. you aren’t the type to just go into an idea blind, you sit and analyze the outcome to things (this is where overworking could come into the picture) and your future spouse again is influenced by this and intrigued and it’s something they admire about you because in their eyes you’re strong.

ace of cups: you are somebody who is able to express lots of self love and practices self love. this is something you and your future spouse might even do together is practice self love. because again you don’t let the hardships of life run you over and ruin you, you get up and live.

the chariot: you’re probably a very spiritual person and if not spiritual it is something intrigues you. and this goes for any religion but it is something that you defend but also aren’t afraid to express and acknowledge. i think your future spouse could find this to be very educational and often asks you about and it’s something that you’re very willing to sit down and talk about. your interests are always extremely interesting to your fs.

their personality:

2 of wands - page of swords - queen of swords - 5 of cups - 3 of cups - 10 of cups

i’m just getting that this person has alot of love to give. like a lot. they might be really romantic or cheesy at times….?? so they are somebody who can very passionate about their interest and would want to tell you all about it. if they have a creative idea they want to be able to fulfill this desire and treat it in any way. i’m seeing that they’re not so much of a go getter like you, but they aren’t afraid to take action towards the things they want. i am seeing though that they don’t open up well and again are very protective of their energy’s. they aren’t quick to tell you what’s wrong with them and it may have to be something you ‘force’ out of them. sometimes they bottle up their feelings wayyyy too much you have to kind of show them the brighter side of things. i do see that they may struggle with mental health issues and this negatively effects them but it isn’t something that effects the relationship. they don’t let their mental health get in the way of the relationship, which is probably why you will probably have to poke them a little bit to hear what’s the matter lol. I really do feel like their weak spot IS family and friends though. this is probably the biggest influence to what they’ve dealt with in the past and so i’m seeing that close family and friends are deeply cherished and respected. they’re somebody who can have a very cheerful and bright attitude around people they’re closest to. it’s a side that you do really like to see because they’re the type to put on a mask in public ykwim?? they’re very good at hiding that side of them.

how they will make you feel:

5 of pentacles - 8 of wands - the lovers - knight of swords - 3 of pentacles

so what i’m getting is that you may feel very confused at times on how your fs feels. i’m seeing this is because they don’t open up, but since you’re very unaware of it you can feel very left in the dark. i’m seeing they don’t intend to do this and you may ask them “did i do something wrong?” it honestly like breaks their heart lol. this is something that they definitely would need to work on. however they’re easily able to redeem themselves. i’m seeing here that they can be very busy but they’re able to make time for you. when they say something they mean it, so if you guys have a planned date and something comes up they are not rescheduling it. they are doing it that day lol. also i’m seeing that they seem to be more of a listener than a talker and this makes you feel very heard. you may be more of a talker and so you think “oh my god i’m talking their ear off” but they love hearing what you have to say. i’m also seeing that they’re very very protective of you. and this makes you feel very grounded and nurtured. maybe you haven’t felt this way in the past and this person just brings you lots of comfort and joy. they also make you feel confident asfffff. i’m seeing at times you can be very insecure and when you express this to them they’re like “excuse me???” because in their eyes you’re the most perfect human being they’ve ever laid their eyes on. this could also be from them being a romantic they show you how beautiful you are to them… iykwim.

their looks:

the hermit - 10 of swords - the hierophant - 7 of cups - 8 of cups - the tower

so immediately i thought abt their eyes. they might have very sleepy looking eyes or they might look “dead”. their eye color too might be a dark dark brown color. i’m seeing that they could have king eyelashes. their eyes are very prominent. i’m seeing that they could bleach their hair? maybe they have naturally dark hair but they bleach it to be white or blonde. im seeing that their hair could be mid length or could be slightly long. guys could be a bit on the longer side and girls could be a little bit shorter. nothing too short or too long. i’m seeing that they might have very very pale skin… like ghost white. 😭 i’m not seeing dark skin. i am seeing them being fairly short. they’re def shorter than you lol. this person skin is also so??? they for sure have a skincare routine. they have this thing where they have to look good. i’m seeing their style might be a bit edgy but it’s a very unique style. they’re not very alternative or gothic just sort of edgy, but they put together their outfits well. i’m seeing they like to at least look nice wherever they’re going they don’t look ‘musty’ or like they don’t shower. they might be the total opposite of you tbh??? like this is a person people are quick to make assumptions about. and you’re sooooo quick to defend them lol. i’m seeing them as very skinny too. i don’t see them working out so much so they could very skinny and scrawny lol. they’re definitely someone people look at, some people find them to be attractive and some seem to assume a lot about them. but at the end of the day you know them for how they truly are. your fav thing abt them is their eyes tho like it won’t leave my head. tbh they’re kind of intimidating to people.

their love language:

the lovers - wheel of fortune - the empress - 8 of swords - the tower - death

your fs might be a bit of gift giver. they like showering you with gifts. they think about you 24/7 and they want you to know that. i do see acts of service being a big one too. they love helping you, they love being there for you. but pile 1 you are a very independent pile. i’m seeing this might be very annoying to you at times cause you’re like “i got it it’s fine” and your fs is like “no no let me help” this might be something you have to tell them annoys you or makes you feel a bit incompetent BECAUSE you feel like you’re being babied or it comes off as them thinking you can’t do it yourself. which is definitely NOT what their intentions are at all. im seeing words of affirmation being another one too; they love giving you compliments they love making you feel better. they are your shoulder to cry on whenever you need it. they just want to be there for you 24/7 365. they’re so down bad it’s making me sick lol

how they will comfort you:

the hermit - 7 of pentacles - 6 of swords - 8 of wands

i’m seeing that whenever you’re going through something in your life mentally you aren’t the type to seek out help so much. and your future spouse understands this and is very patient with you. also when you’re sick too?? i’m seeing you might be a bit of a crybaby when you’re sick lol and it doesn’t bother your future spouse because all they want to do is protect you. i’m seeing that if you were struggling mentally they wouldn’t bother you with questions but they’d let you know they’re there whenever you need them. they understand more than anyone how it feels, so you can go to them and they will listen. they are honestly an amazing listener. they are really good at giving you guidance and offering you good advice when you need it. i’m seeing they’re the type of person who likes to be very factual and blunt without hurting your feelings, and it’s something that does help you grow and learn especially in the relationship.

First Times:

First Meet: 7 of pentacles - Strength

so the setting is outdoorsy?? i’m seeing something again with work and an activity and i’m seeing that your fs may already work there and this is a transition from your old work to working there. i’m seeing that the energy is very tense with this person. i don’t see you two meeting each other immediately i think it’d be one of those you see then from across the room??? you’d make the first move im seeing lol. i’m also seeing that you immediately find them so incredibly attractive and may ask around about them and to them you don’t catch their eye as much. they could be single when you first meet though but they aren’t really thinking about a relationship.

First Date: 8 of wands - 8 of swords

so i’m ngl i’m getting such awkward energy hahaha i’m seeing that you’re going to feel very excited but also very anxious. this date may be all your idea and so you’re trying your best to woo them lol. i’m seeing also that your person might come off as uninterested at first but believe me they’re just as nervous as you are. i’m seeing they’re trying to impress you as best they can but they’re so awkward lol you’re going to find it very cute. i’m seeing that this date will be very intimate but it will be in a social setting. so i’m seeing that a nice little restaurant. i’m also seeing this could be a thing you guys do at the end of the day?? tbh something you’d see on tv. so a little cliche but also very very romantic. also i’m just seeing so many smiles and love eyes???? y’all are cheesy stop it

First Kiss: Ace of cups - 3 of pentacles

this is so funny to me because both of y’all will initiate the kiss. yk how and please try to understand this, you know how sometimes with first kisses one person initiates the kiss and it’s either a hit or miss. you and your fs will be so down bad that y’all will just feel the energy. like good lord just make out already pls i can’t take this tension. i’m seeing that one of you will start to lean in and the other person is like “hell yea” and they lean in too. like y’all can read each others minds istg y’all are so in tune with each other. your first kiss can be when y’all are alone together?? maybe when yall are having a deep conversation and you guys just bond over something. y’all are so in love at this moment i’m just… wow.

their shadow side:

page of cups - 6 of wands - page of pentacles - 2 of wands - 3 of cups - king of pentacles - knight of pentacles - 9 of swords

i’m seeing that this person can be very selfish. i’m only seeing that this selfish side comes out during conflict. i’m seeing they can be a major know it all about things and can be very “i’m right youre wrong” they can be very childish in the way they think and can be very hard headed. i’m seeing that they have this energy especially when they’re stressed out too, that you really can’t get them to stop thinking like this unless you really humble them. i’m seeing when they’re angry it’s just them acting very childish and very selfish and this can be something that you talk to them about. they’re not necessarily like it towards you but they can definitely be that way towards other people. im seeing they can very childish in what they say if they get into an argument with you, but it’s one of those things where you talk to them like an adult and it snaps them back to reality. they definitely need a reality check from time to time ngl…

Extra Messages!!:

Shaman: keyword: Teacher

trust in divine timing. trust that things are working out towards you and your future spouse. don’t try to rush things, and definitely don’t try to undermine any of spirits work. the universe is working in your favor, so remember to thank the universe everyday. you and your future spouse will be able to heal each others energy and heal that inner child. don’t lose this once in a lifetime connection.

Memory: your past life may be very battled and torn. try to reconcile with your past self and find what parts of you do really need the healing. don’t be afraid of feeling those emotions you buried deep down, they are meant to find you in this lifetime.

Very Soon: You may meet this person very soon or in a matter of a few months. don’t rush this connection. this person will make their way to you when you BOTH are ready. disappointment will only lead you to failure, be grateful for what the universe has to offer you.

what chakra is their weakest: Heart Chakra

what chakra is their strongest: solar plexus chakra

extra key: earth sign, lilac, quartz, past life regression, outside activity, gold, aventurine, yellow jade, yes, african american, you already know them, white, black, foreign, green eyes, 1111, 5555, 9999, street style

your song: let the light in - lana del rey

thank you so so much for allowing me to give you this read and offer guidance on your future spouse! i hope this reading brought you some clarity and opened your eyes about this person. good luck on your journey with love and please like + repost !! <3 feedback is greatly appreciated 🤍

PILE 2

your energy check in:

these are clarifying cards for you and your current energy, this helps me connect to you further and also makes sure this reading is right for you! <3

knight of pentacles - queen of swords - king of cups - the sun

i’m getting that you are a very mature pile. i’m seeing that you’re very intelligent as well. in school you may be honor roll or have been offered many scholarships. i’m seeing that you have a lot of emotional stability. you’re very wise in how you talk to others and people often find themselves coming to you for advice. i’m seeing you may be a bit of a therapist haha i’m also seeing that you could be very wealthy or come from a wealthy family?? or you are just really good with money?? some of you want to be a lawyer…? you’re such a balanced calm energy pile 2 i feel so safe in your presence. you could be very attractive too?? like i see a lot of people have their eyes on you. you’re not afraid of expressing your boundaries to people as well, and i see you’re very careful with who you consider close friends. you have a very positive outlook on life. you’re very good at manifesting too.

oracle: too many dragons

you may have been drawn to pile 1. i see you are a very hardworking pile. you are somebody who is constantly busy constantly doing something. i see that you live off a routine and a schedule, and you’re the type to not be so big with change and getting out of routine. i think this can often scare you and stress you out. don’t be afraid of a little change once in a while. change is good! spirit wants you to be able to express sides of yourself without fear and without embarrassment and disappointment. it’s okay to be a little silly at times, you don’t always need to be serious.

other messages: leo, dark hair, brown hair; freckles, sharp brows, curly hair, tanned skin, dark skin, long fingers, muscles, working out, 1212

their energy:

ace of swords - five of wands - seven of pentacles - the sun

i’m seeing that you and your future spouse are honestly very similar in ways. i’m seeing that’s how you two really bond and connect is because you both have shared interests and can connect on things like that together. i’m seeing your fs can be a little… sassy. they have a little bit of an attitude to them and tend to get into conflict easily. i’m seeing that you might actually really like this about them because you find it cute. it’s just small things they do. they may make sassy remarks that makes you turn your head like “what did you just say?” this person also might be opposite to you when it comes to money. i see they may like a little bit of a shopping spree… and aren’t so good at saving money like you. this is something that you could easily teach them and help them work out. i’m also seeing that your future spouse could be very spiritual. i’m seeing they could be into tarot and astrology and if not that they are big on religion. this could be something you two bond over as well.

oracle: when fairies go bad

i’m seeing that your future spouse is somebody who hides alot of things. this might be a bit of a shock when they mention something that has negatively affected them in the past. they’re somebody who can put up a front and seem like they’re absolutely perfect and then they open up to you and you’re like “i would’ve never expected this” and this is exactly their goal they hate when people try to read them. i’m seeing that they are very protective over themselves and their energy and so theyre not exactly willing to open up completely. this is something they need to work on and control because keeping secrets and hiding things especially from you could cause conflict and issues in the future. even if they have no bad intentions.

other messages: leo, earth sign, green eyes, dark skin, white teeth, vampire fangs???, childlike

your fav things abt your fs:

the fool: your future spouse is able to get up and have fun. it’s never a dull moment with them because they’re just full of so much energy and they’re able to have fun wherever they are. if you have an idea or want to go out with them they are more than willing to do it. i see that they love adventures and love seeing what the world has to offer them. they may be really connected with nature.

temperance: again what i was saying earlier i’m seeing that your person could be very spiritual or very religious in some way. i see they love to talk about their beliefs and offer guidance, and they’re not annoying about it at all. but when you ask them questions about it, they become very passionate and go on little rants and tangents lol. i’m seeing that to you this offers you lots of wisdom and knowledges you in many ways because you see the world differently in their eyes. they may be a pisces?? or have pisces in their chart.

eight of wands: i’m seeing that your person is very extroverted and very social. i’m seeing that they have alot of friends and this is because they’re able to bond with a lot of people and this is how they keep friendships. they’re really good at carrying conversations and even starting them. they aren’t afraid to take the lead in things. you are often wowed by how well they’re able to connect with complete strangers, and this is just like mind blowing to you. i see you may be a bit of an ambivert (some of you) so this person takes the lead in some convos. sometimes you can’t even get a word in! lol

the star: your person is so so so confident and comfortable in their own skin. the card illustrates a cat knocking over a glass full of water, and this to me resembles how they just don’t let stuff get in their way. they don’t let the bad parts of the world negatively affect their way of living. they take this as a way of growth and they take this as a challenge. they love the feeling of adrenaline they get when they do something. but you will admire how this person carries themselves. because they have no care in the world. they put themselves first because they know that the world will never stop for them. this person is just wow their energy is so healing and so balanced. they’re literally the definition of the sun.

the tower: this is just continuing from what i was saying previously. change is possible. to you, you need to follow a routine and if something changes it may feel like the end of the world to you. but to them. they love change. they admire change. change is what keeps them going. they like to live on the wild side a bit, they like to step out of their comfort zone, they’re the type to say yolo (😭) they aren’t afraid to be a little dangerous because they find routines and schedules to be boring. they honestly might have gotten into trouble at school sometimes??? just got that little message there haha

their fav things abt you:

(i wasn’t going to do it but y’all got an extra card lol)

four of cups: your person honestly loves that you have a routine and a schedule you follow. to them it makes you seem very intelligent and mature. they also like the differing aspects of you hating change and them loving it because… they want to spice up your life a bit. you might be very bored in life when you meet this person that you step out of your own comfort zone and let them lead the way. they want to show you the world in a totally different perspective.

six of swords: you’re somebody who isn’t afraid to show your sensitive side and be emotional. since you are very comfortable with yourself and aren’t afraid to open up. this person isn’t so comfortable with showing their vulnerable side because they like to put up a front at times, but you don’t. you don’t people judge you for how you’re feeling because they’re feelings. they really like when they see all these sides of you because it reminds them of how human you are.

ten of pentacles: like i said previously some of you may be very wealthy and some of this could be inherited from your family. and if you aren’t wealthy i am seeing for a lot of you, you’re good with saving money and spending money correctly. im seeing that your fs really loves how well you take care of your money and don’t spend it all in one go (unlike them…😬) i’m seeing that you’re also very humble and not cocky at all. especially with how some of you may be very wealthy or just because you can take care of your money well, they like how you don’t shove it down people’s throats. you’re a very humble person.

ace of wands: i’m seeing you coming home to your spouse and just telling them about your day and all of these ideas and opportunities you were given and you telling them your input that you thought about and at the end of it they’re just jaw dropped. like you’re so intelligent in their eyes because you see the world in such a unique way. they would have never thought of it like that, iykwim.

knight of cups: you’re literally their ideal type. you’re everything they’ve ever wished for and more. i’m seeing that when you come into their life they’re just astounded on how somebody like you actually exists. like in their mind they manifested you cause there’s no way lol. i’m seeing that you’re just somebody they’ve always wanted and so some of you they may be lowkey obsessed cause they don’t want to lose you, but others of you they’re just so madly in love haha

the chariot: i’m seeing that you’re somebody who likes to move fast. you don’t stop for anybody, and this is one of the many things that you and your spouse relate to is you both just keep on moving. this is often because of your routine that life just begins to be one endless cycle so obviously the world moves a lot quicker, but either way you don’t slow down you like that when an idea or opportunity happens you take it.

their personality:

the lovers - queen of swords - king of cups - eight of swords - five of pentacles - four of cups - page of wands

they are big on standing up for themselves and others. they are the type of person who isn’t afraid to say anything, which is why they tend to get into a lot of conflict. i’m seeing that this person tends to be loud and isn’t the type to secretly talk crap abt somebody behind their back. they say it to their face. your spouse is confrontational fs. but they do this for the ones they love. it isn’t attention seeking or trying to be center of attention, it’s them protecting their loved ones from any evil energy’s. they hear one bad thing about you and they’re either trying to find out every little detail abt this person to ruin their life or they’re face to face abt to fight. they’re not intimidating but you really don’t want to get on their bad side lol. they also can have such a soft side to them. besides the extroverted behavior they are capable of relaxing and really listening into others feelings and energy. it might come as a surprise but they have a lot of wisdom of their own to share. they again aren’t big on opening up and tend to hide their feelings from you and others, they hate being perceived as weak. they are very adventurous and very impulsive at times, but they know how to have fun.

how they will make you feel:

knight of pentacles - the hierophant - ten of swords - four of pentacles - the hanged man

i see that you may often be discredited for your work and can feel very unheard and unseen by people around you. i see that your ideas are often extremely important and extremely helpful to your community but it’s seen by jealous eyes. this is why your work is pushed down. your spouse is so supportive in everything you do. i see that they will listen to every.single.idea. you have. i see that they will make you feel very heard and seen, and at some point their opinion is the only one you care about. they will make you feel secure and understood, i’m seeing that they are one to validate your feelings. they don’t ever want to make you feel invalidated and often try to understand every side to an argument. i’m seeing that they are somebody who will definitely make you surrender these dark thoughts and trade them into more hopeful feelings. i’m seeing that they might even offer you shadow work ideas… they will bring you lots of faith and i see this will benefit you greatly.

their looks:

the hermit - the fool - death - five of swords - queen of pentacles - nine of swords

so i’m seeing dark skin and hair. somebody who may have hair that is pretty short. so maybe girls are short guys are a bit long but both prefer their hair shorter. some of you they may like to dye it a dark color. mostly seeing dark brown. i’m seeing they have a very innocent look to them, they look very youthful? they may be younger than you or they just take really good care of their skin and their body. again i was seeing they like to work out and may have some muscles to them. sleeper build?? i don’t see their style being very edgy, unlike pile 1 they’re very into brighter colors. and even then they might like very toned colors. especially colors that compliment their skin and hair. i’m seeing that they may have a bit of an rbf. suuupperrr strong aura people are attracted to this person because of their aura. i’m seeing that they may also look confused all the time (???) like the lights are on but nobody’s home haha. i’m also seeing that they could have a large nose or their nose is very prominent? nice smile. good cheekbones too. i’m seeing that they could be fairly feminine or they are more comfortable in their feminine side. i’m seeing that they’re short asf tho definitely shorter than you. actually some of you might be the same height…. they will never be taller than you that’s for sure. so either same height - shorter. their neck???? something abt their neck you really like i- idk. some of you really like their legs too, they don’t skip leg day. could have a noticeable scar somewhere??? on the face or arms… they look so innocent and cute to people but then they open their mouth and people are wishing they never thought that lol you love your fs though this doesn’t bother you ahsha could also be younger than you. pouty lips too? their chin might be a bit prominent aswell. slim face.

their love language:

the tower - four of wands - queen of cups - 2 of wands - ten of swords

physical touch 110% this person love love loves touching you. hugging you, kissing you, etc they have to have their hands on you 24/7. they try not to be annoying but they can’t help it they’re so down bad for you. i’m ngl i’m seeing ‘that one couple in line at the fair’ iykyk … they love physical touch im seeing them wrapping their arms around you when you’re doing something. some of you they hold onto your waist when out in public, they let people know you’re taken that’s for sure. words of affirmation. this is especially seen when they notice you’re stressed or something is bothering you, they shower you with affirmations to make you feel better. they try to cheer you up by making you laugh… some of you this will not work but i’m seeing that they try anyways haha. theyre very into flirting with you too, i see any chance they get they flirt with you. they like to make you flustered in public. i’m seeing they whisper things into your ear when you’re out and it catches you off guard, they like to see you looking red in the face or shocked because it makes them want to do it more lol.

how they will comfort you:

five of wands - 2 of cups - queen of pentacles - six of cups

again with the words of affirmation, i’m seeing that you can overthink really badly over things and can feel very overwhelmed and your fs will do everything in their power to cheer you up. they love to tell you everything they love about you, everything they cherish about you etc. i’m seeing that literally NEVER want to see you get hurt. in their eyes you’re the most precious thing to them, and if anything were to happen to you they will feel like it’s the end of the world. like you stub your toe or something and suddenly they’re carrying you to bed, making your favorite dinner, etc. like they’re so down bad this is sickening. lol. i’m also seeing that they are very blunt to you about things, they let you know if you’re in the wrong abt something, they might be a tough love type of person. they want to make you feel secure and keep that positive mindset but they also don’t want you to get too in your head about things. i’m seeing that you will feel so much better after you rant to them about something because they’re just so good at correlating their words.

First times:

First Meet: Ace of swords - the high priestess

so i feel like most of pile 2 might meet their fs online. on a dating app or some type of social media. it could be you who finds them first, or them who finds you first idk. but i am seeing that you guys will immediately hit it off. like the energy is very calm and relaxed. this brings me back to saying y’all have shared interests because you definitely do. and you two will probably bond really quickly like “oh you look this too? let’s meet up rn” like LMAO y’all are just both certain this is the right person for you. i see you both will be laughing a lot when you meet and alot of smiles. you might find your fs to be really funny?? like they’re probably a naturally funny person and it’s a plus to you. like green flag for sure.

First Date: judgement - ace of cups

so for your first date i’m seeing somewhere outdoors OR an arcade or somewhere where you can do lots of things. i’m seeing that the energy here is very vibrant and fun. you both will be smiling alot and having a great time and it’s just an overall fun experience. i do see there being major tension between the two of you and i think it’s because you two just know you’re meant for each other. like i wouldn’t be surprised if y’all started dating after your first date because the love is just there. y’all will find out so much about each other because you guys just feel so comfortable in each others energy.

First Kiss: The magician - the emperor

so definitely seeing you initiating the kiss. the emperor card literally screams “do it” like i see you hesitating to kiss them but spirit will be screaming in your ear “do it do it do it” like chanting LMAO. i see that you might catch them off guard when you kiss them, you might have your hand on their cheek/jaw. or they will. i’m seeing that they could have been talking about something or busy and then boom you give them a big ol smooch. i see the energy and feelings are mutual and they will kiss back cause in their heads they’re saying “hell yea” LMAO. like they’ve been waiting ages for you to kiss them, they def weren’t going to make the first move lolz.

their shadow side:

temperance - king of cups - six of cups - the lovers - five of cups - queen of pentacles

i’m seeing your future spouse can honestly be extremely childish and immature. i keep hearing the word ‘mean’. they can say things that make you go “why did you just say that?” cause it could have been disrespectful or just something incredibly hurtful. i’m seeing that they are mostly this way towards themselves tho. you will often see them being extremely ill towards themselves and saying mean things about themselves and you’re like “why are you saying this about yourself?” because on the outside they like to be seen as happy and perfect but behind closed doors they can be insecure. pile 2 some of you do want to have a family and kids, but your fs may have a hard time coming to terms with this. i think they may have some generational trauma and so they’ve grown into this person now and they may be exactly like the person who gave them this trauma. iykwim. they either 1) don’t want to be a parent just because or 2) don’t want to be a parent because they know they’ll be just like the person who raised them. not all of you but some of y’all’s fs may say things in spite of the moment. during arguments they can be extremely childish and immature and say things to hurt your feelings. (this is a really unhealthy thing in a relationship so definitely if this is happening talk to them about it. y’all don’t deserve that type of energy from anyone.)

Extra Messages !!:

The Oldest Fairy: so i’m seeing that you might be afraid of losing this youthful side to you, and you may be afraid of getting older. im seeing that spirit wants you to know that you shouldn’t be afraid of getting older and maturing, your fs will be put into your life so that you don’t lose this childish side to you. they will show you parts of you that you’ve never seen before. don’t be afraid of getting older.

Love: y’all are literally the cutest. i’ve been cheesing this entire reading because you two are inseparable. y’all are meant to be. y’all are perfect for each other. this love is once in a lifetime. this love is infinite. even after death your love for one another will stay known. you guys may have had a past life together because you two are so familiar and so in tune with each others energy it’s insane. you might not have been in many or any relationships pile 2 so this relationship is very new it feels very new and very raw and it will show you the world in such a magical way. y’all are precious stop.

Let Go of Control Issues: allow this situation to unfold naturally. i didn’t put this in the shadow side but they might have some control issues. but you also. i’m getting that you’re really urging and pulling this relationship to happen NOW but spirit says it needs to wait. don’t rush things pile 2 the universe knows that when you receive this love you won’t be disappointed.

what chakra is their weakest: heart chakra

what chakra is their strongest: crown chakra

your song: nervous - Shawn Mendes

extra key: water sign, rose, rose quartz, opal, aventurine, clear quartz, 222, blonde, brunette, dyed hair, air sign, earth sign, few years 1-5, green eyes, twin flame, lives close to that area, from that area, 666, 555, 1212, 3333, 9999, 5555, street style, no, gemini, scorpio

thank you so so much for allowing me to give you this read and offer guidance on your future spouse! i hope this reading brought you some clarity and opened your eyes about this person. good luck on your journey with love and please like + repost !! <3 feedback is greatly appreciated 🤍

PILE 3

your energy check in:

these are clarifying cards for you and your currently energy, this helps me connect to you further and also makes sure this reading is right for you! <3

eight of wands - mother of swords - the sun - eight of swords

you seem to be a very optimistic pile 3. i’m seeing that you went through intense struggles in your life, you went through soooo much in the past and you’re finally transitioning into this happier and more sustainable way of living. i’m seeing a lot of you are divinely protected. whether you realize it or not you are protected. and not just from the divine but people around you, you have a whole army behind you pile 3. i’m not saying it’s impossible for bad things to happen to you, but it will take a lot of work because the universe is not letting this energy come back into your life. pile 3 you feel so comfortable in your skin. you feel so balanced and you feel finally understood and finally seen. you don’t feel broken, and forgotten about, and misunderstood. people are finally seeing you for who you truly are. you are able to get up in the mornings and actually live life. i do see you still struggle with having to live with the memories of what happened to you in the past. it seems that though you’ve healed or are currently healing you still live with this haunting memory or you just find yourself reliving those moments again. remember that spirit is always with you and you will always have somebody there. you aren’t alone 🤍

oracle: reflections

pile 3 shadow work is so beneficial for you. in this time you are feeling stuck, confused, lost, drained at moments. and this is because there is something within yourself that you need to change. change is your best option. don’t be scared to let go of things that no longer serve you. they’re in the past. they hold you no greater good. they formed you into the person you are today, but that doesn’t mean it needs to stay in your life. sticking with the original plans is a good idea, but don’t be afraid to switch things up. you control this part of your life now, nobody else. let this ego go.

extra messages: dark hair, eyeliner, pigtails, full lips, leo, trauma, mama, gothic, curvy, earth sign, fire sign

their energy:

daughter of pentacles - father of cups - three of pentacles - the devil

okay like. let me go on a rant really quickly. pile 3 y’all are one tough bunch. y’all have been through SHIT. and guess what? so has your future spouse. pile 2 i was talking about how they will bond over personal interests like music, hobbies, etc. pile 3 y’all are sooooo different. i see that it’s one of those things where nobody else understood you except each other. you have grown through hell and back, and so has your future spouse. you will find yourself so amazed that somebody like this has gone through so much, and they’d think the same thing. y’all might meet through group therapy tbh but that might be stretching it. anywho your person is definitely an empath. they feel everyone’s emotions x10. they can read people sooooo well?? they can read people like an open book. i’m seeing they might be very masculine and you might be very feminine. they’re very sensitive and can take things personally lol. bad coping mechanism ngl. i see that they can have a very toxic mindset towards things and be seen as pessimistic, this can be a turn off to you when you meet them. i think you can understand why they feel this way once you get to know them better.

oracle: fairies

i’m seeing your future spouse can have a very unique look to them. their style may be odd to strangers, something about the way they present themselves could be perceived as weird or ‘different’ to people. i’m seeing to you this person is very different from your past. they aren’t so much your type, but i do see that you connect with them in some way. i see maybe their personality is what makes them more attractive to you andddd they are so sweet?? like they’re absolutely precious lolz they could be a hippie tbh… or something similar to it.

extra message: long blonde hair, no sleep, pale skin, water sign, pisces, cancer, capricorn, scorpio, 1212

your fav things about them:

five of cups: this card is normally a very sad card but the energy im getting is that you love how far theyve come. you love that they never gave up and theyre here with you now. i’m seeing that they open up to you about alot of things they struggle with and they tell you when theyre not feeling their best and you appreciate that. you look up to them pile 3.

the hanged man: you like how they like to view every perspective of a situation. i see that theyre somebody who puts time and effort into things, and when things don’t work out people can’t tell them “they didn’t try”. your future spouse loves to put in effort into things and relationships.

four of pentacles: you enjoy how theyre they are. it gives you some hope for the world. you’re really good at working with others, and can be somewhat of a people person. (might even say post people pleaser??) they might be big multitasker, and this is like somewhat amazing to them cause youre like “whatttt…???”

two of cups: they treat you so well. they make you feel so loved and appreciated. you’ve never felt this way about anyone before. they show you what true love actually is. you may have been betrayed in the past by someone who you thought you could trust (who you might have been dating). i see you are very protective of your energy and when they come into your life they show you that the love you had before wasn’t real. you feel very safe with them.

six of pentacles: they like to spoil you tbh. i don’t see them being somebody with alot of money, but they do try to gift you things. i just saw somebody plucking a flower and gifting it to their spouse. them with you tbh. you love how well they treat you (like i said before) they just want to give you the world is all i’m seeing because they hate hate hate seeing you down. they’re soooo protective of you.

their fav things about you:

king of cups: when you meet them you will be very grounded and this will stay. you may already be very grounded but i’m just seeing like… you have so much balance in your life once you meet this person. this person honeslty is the cherry on top. they will love how you’re able to include them into your life, but also be very independent. i see they may struggle with being a tad bit dependent at times, and so they view you as sort of their grounding.

nine of swords: pile 3 do you like to journal or write?? i see some of you that could be a hobby of yours. your future spouse adores this. they will never overstep your boundaries, but if you ever wanted to share a little bit of your knowledge/hobby with them they are zoned in. they LOVE hearing about your special interests.

the world: pile 3 arent y’all some dreamers. i swear y’all live in the clouds. you also are a very grateful in a lot of things. you may have close relationships with family and they enjoy it. they love seeing this nurturing side of you. they love seeing how careful and gentle you can be.

son of pentacles: you’re very wise in the sense of finances and business? some of you might be really good in your work or you are just extremely wise in the way you handle situations. i see you guys can receive lots of luck. you may be very lucky. you future spouse actually really likes this lol. they like how lucky you are cause they believe that you deserve it.

son of swords: pile 3 yall might be a little intimidating…. but your future spouse??? tbh. it turns them on a little bit. like. they love seeing this scary side to you??? they love when you get defensive and protective. they might be very deer in headlights and you're very saber tooth tiger (literally just a random animal i thought of ngl??) they like feeling protected and safe with you, and likes seeing that darker side you have.

their personality:

the sun - six of pentacles - daughter of wands - three of swords - the tower - the lovers

okay so first off i heard they might be a bit of a hoarder… that goes for some. anywho. this person is such a damaged energy. they’ve gone through so much shit in their life. the three of swords makes me think that they were betrayed by close friends?? and this is because your person really loves helping people. they love being there for people. they might do charity work? or they do some type of fundraiser? it brings them bliss, joy, it warms their heart to see people getting the help they need. goodness pile 3 your future spouse is suuuppppeeerrrr sensitive. i literally just seen them in the verge of tears 24/7. like you’re somebody who’s really tough and might hide your emotions well… yea not ur spouse. they are so close to breaking down lolz. they love hugs by the way. i’m seeing they just have so much love to give? they are the type of person to put others happiness before their own, which is probably why they were betrayed in the past. they are def a people pleaser at times, this is something they need to work on. they really just want to be there for everybody, and is just an extreme empath with a lot of big kid emotions. i don’t see you finding this annoying, but i do see them crying over cute animal vids and you’re just looking at them confused haha

how they will make you feel:

the magician - death - the empress - two of pentacles - three of wands - seven of cups

pile 3 let me just say i love y’all’s connection. everything about this relationship has my heart melting. i didn’t do this for the other two piles but i felt the urge to read bottom of the deck energy and when i flipped it over boom the wheel of fortune. pile 3 your connection will feel too good to be true. you’ll feel like you’re in a dream. some of you might lucid dream a lot im seeing. this connection will feel so unreal, so close, so intimate. when i saw the magician card i thought “oh they balance each others energy” book the two of pentacles came out. sooo many clarifications from spirit. when i saw the death card i heard your future spouse literally saying “change is good for you”. you guys are tied together. i was getting twin flame energy but tbh i feel like y’all are lowkey soulmates. y’all are meant to be together in this time and many times after that. you two only understand each other. i see that you guys are so raw and authentic and real. pile 2 their fs keeps secrets from them, not you pile 3. you and your fs lets you see every single side of themselves. y’all aren’t afraid to be human. this connection has lasted lifetimes, you don’t care how angry or how dramatic the other person can be because this love you two have is strong. yk how some people it’s an ick when somebody acts a certain way??? yea you guys literally don’t care. you will love each other just as much as you did yesterday and more. you make each other feel so complete. you make each other feel so balanced. you open up to each other and break down these walls y’all built up all those years ago. you are so real with this person and it makes you feel so emotional because you know that only they could understand you. i love this pile so much stop

their looks:

three of swords - temperance - eight of pentacles - six of swords - ace of wands - the magician

so i’m seeing if they have light skin or pale skin their hair is darker, and if they have darker skin their hair is lighter?? and not even just white or blonde hair like they probably dye it a brighter color. im seeing they have pin straight hair or really loose curls. some have wavy hair but it’s mostly straight hair vibes tbh. i’m seeing that in the winter they may wear brighter colors, but in the fall,spring, and summer they wear darker colors lol??? okay so listen to me on this, but im seeing that they look lowkey dead. like pile 1 i was talking abt how their eyes look like dead/sleepy your person lowkey looks like a zombie. (and no nothing bad to why they look like this, some of them just look like that) but this isnt saying they don’t take care of themselves. they do take care of themselves 100%. im seeing that their nose might be fairly big? their lips might be very small too. some of them have piercing blue eyes. like bright blue. others have honey or hazel. nothing too dark i’m seeing. could be super super skinny. long fingers?? they’re tall too? might be taller than you. people aren’t intimidated by this person at all, i see people think they look very innocent and nice. like they just have this very sweet look to them tbh. i see people can tell this person has gone through stuff too, i see they might be a bit of a target at times and other times people are really careful with them. i see this is definitely odd one out energy, people perceive this person as different.

their love language:

the sun - nine of cups - the moon - father of swords - daughter of cups

acts of service for sure they want to GIVE TO YOUUU. they want to help you out in any way they can. literally will give you foot rubs(??) i’m seeing they will cook for you. so gift giving by be one too. i’m seeing they just want to help you out in any way. definitely loves quality time as well. this is somebody who will find comfort in just complete silence with you. they will hold you while they watch tv or read, and while you’re doing something else. they just want to be in your presence. i see them being a really good listener to your rants too. but it’s balanced cause you listen to them really well too. y’all are so comfortable with each other this is adorable. they also know all of your favorite things??? you might idk like to crochet and this person will find something for you to crochet, or they will buy you a crochet pin or like a magnet that says something abt crochet on it idk LMAO they want to let you know that they do actually care what you have to say to them. they are really good at showing it haha

how they will comfort you:

three of pentacles - six of swords - nine of pentacles - the magician

they want to try and take you out if you’re not feeling good mentally. you may want to stay inside and not do anything and your fs is like “uh no? you’re going to get your butt up and we’re gonna cheer you up” they know keeping you cooped up won’t make you feel better. if you’re sick this person will treat you like a god/goddess. they will make sure you are being fed well, you’re getting the right medicine at the right time, etc. when you’re sick it’s like terrible to them. some of them might be a germaphobe tbh. i’m seeing that they do like to take care of you. you feel like you’re burdening them but remember they love to help people. when you’re feeling under the weather or not good mentally they’re here for you 110%. they also might try and spoil you a little bit to make you feel better. they will literally do whatever you want haha

First Times:

First Meet: four of swords - mother of cups

i saw a museum? somewhere very calm and relaxed and where your emotions can run freely. somewhere where art can be or is expressed. could meet in a garden? or somewhere extremely colorful there is a lot of color. im seeing that you two will be very drawn towards each other but you both will be too nervous to come up and say anything lol. i am seeing you may be introduced to each other by a friend? that might be how you kick off the convo and then boom y’all are obsessed with each other. i think your spouse might offer a date idea near the end of the convo… 👀

First Date: two of wands - the moon

ok ok so im gonna take the moon card literally and say that y’all might stargaze on your first date. but this would be after the actual start of the date. y’all will definitely go somewhere outdoors. y’all might meet around the summer time. a lot of fairs happen in the summer time and im just seeing that happening ngl. y’all will go somewhere where a lot of people are present, but it feels like it’s just the two of you. this date will be soooo nerve wracking to both of you. so many awkward giggles and awkward movements. this is like teenage love, like holding their hand for the first time. you’ll feel very young with this person. i do see y’all not wanting this date to end so you go stargazing… some of you not all. but you both really just want to stay in each others energy for ever.

First Kiss: the chariot - mother of swords

okay i’m not going to lie, i wasn’t going to say it but i felt like you were going to have your first kiss on your first day and these cards kind of clarified that. i do feel like this relationship might move a bit fast for you pile 3 but there is so much passion between you two. like i am seeing you two lowkey having your first kiss really quickly if not on your first date. i’m seeing this doesn’t scare either of you because you both have so much love for each other. it’s honestly extremely intimate, i’m seeing that this kiss will last a long time and you both won’t really stop kissing hahah. i’m not seeing you two getting into a relationship immediately though… some of you yes others of you it will take just some time. but i do see this first kiss happening fairly quickly and neither of you are disappointed. tension tension tension.

their shadow side:

four of swords - ten of wands - son of wands - the star - the magician - eight of swords - daughter of pentacles - the empress

okay so this is somebody who can be very conflicting?? they might confuse you sometimes on how they’re feeling and this can annoy you. this person has alot of blockage in their life. they are stuck right now and will continue to be, in seeing that they have a lot of people against them? they might be somebody who uses their emotions as an excuse sometimes. and this can be really hurtful cause it can be seen as very manipulative. they are somebody who is extremely emotional and extremely in tune with you and nature but they just have this really dark side to them. they are somebody who doesn’t really change alot about themselves. it’s ironic cause they tell you that change is a good thing and that change can help you, but they refuse to change themselves.

Extra Messages!!:

Book Fairy: don’t be afraid to go out and try something new don’t be afraid to try new things and do something different in your life. something that challenges your intellect and makes you really think. change change change. you and your fs will explore these types of changes together. they’re i’ll definitely be the type to show you the world in many different ways.

Joy: you’re able to view the world in a positive way. you are able to go out and have fun. don’t let people places or things stop you from living life. the only person that should matter to you is you. be open to receiving joy and happiness in your life.

Worth Waiting For: divine timing is at work in your love life. this relationship is something that will change your life for only good reasons. i am seeing that this will bring you lots of abundance and clarity and you will feel at home with this person. there is no i’ll energy towards this connection, you two are meant for each other.

what chakra is their weakest: root chakra

what chakra is their strongest: heart chakra

your song: I Hear a Symphony - Cody Fry

Extra Key: 333,444, air/earth/water, marigold, carnelian, dioptase, sunstone, red jasper, aventurine, white, green eyes, grey hair, from that area, 444, 5555, 777, 2222, casual style, street style, NO, fire sign, gemini, in a while 5+

thank you so so much for allowing me to give you this read and offer guidance on your future spouse! i hope this reading brought you some clarity and opened your eyes about this person. good luck on your journey with love and please like + repost !! <3 feedback is greatly appreciated 🤍

[ponderingmoonlight]

Satoru Gojo purposely keeping the scar you gave him instead of using reversed technique

Pairing: husband! Gojo x reader

Word Count: 1,6k

Synopsis: When his skin gets busted by your sheer excitement, it doesn't feel right to Satoru to use his reversed technique and simply heal.

Warnings: fluff fluff fluff, Yuji's "death" scnene in season 1, blood lol

Thank you dear anon for aggressively reminding me that it's canon for Gojo to not have any scars, it really helped me cooking up that fic! 🤍

Every step feels like hell, the only thing that keeps you from collapsing onto the floor being the reassuring hand of your husband on your shoulder.

This can’t be true, it’s just impossible. Yuji Itadori was a member of Jujutsu High for a few weeks, just started to get to know this world better. This was supposed to be an easy mission, the three of them should have made it out alive with ease. But apparently, Sukuna decided to show up. And apart from injuring Megumi, he violently took Yuji’s life by ripping his heart out. A heart made of pure gold, a heart so precious that you couldn’t help but care for that boy the minute you saw him.

But now he’s dead.

Your hands start shaking immediately the minute you step into this cursed room you visited far too often, gazing at Yuji’s body covered by a cloak. This isn’t a bad dream. No, the blood covering the white cloak tells you more than urgently that Yuji Itadori isn’t there anymore.

“Please tell me that there’s a chance he’ll come back”, you mutter.

Oh, how much both Shoko and Satoru hate to see you like that. It’s not a secret to anyone at Jujutsu High how deeply you care about your students, loving them like your own children. Of course, this isn’t the first time you’ve seen a student die in front of your eyes. In times like these, jujutsu sorcerers pass away like flies. But Satoru knows what you’ve seen in Yuji, that he somehow reflected parts of yourself. And still, you weren’t able to protect that boy, both Satoru and you coming too late to rescue him.

“I really wish I could, but he shows no signs of life. I’ll move on to autopsy now. If you want to say goodbye…Maybe do it now and leave afterwards.”

Satoru wraps his arms around you just in time before you slide onto the ground, holding you tightly against his chest.

“This is not fair”, you breathe out, head still not able to accept Yuji’s farewell.

He was so young, so full of life. He doesn’t deserve to die, he still had so much ahead of him. There needs to be something you are able to do. Aren’t Satoru or Shoko able to use their cursed technique?

“He didn’t show any signs of life for hours by now, (y/n). Not even Shoko or me are able to bring him back to life. I’m so sorry”, he mumbles against your ear out of nowhere.

So this is really how it ended? With Yuji getting killed by none other than Sukuna himself? Like in trance, your wobbly legs carry you to the autopsy table his lifeless body lays on. You want to stretch out your arm, want to look at that precious boy one last time before Shoko does her job.

But you can’t.

“I can’t look at him”, you blurt out.

With a swift motion, you turn around and burry your face against your husband’s chest.

“It’s okay babe, just look at me, okay? You don’t have to do this.”

Satoru’s arms keep you from losing yourself completely, soak up your falling tears while his head rests against yours. Oh Yuji, you’ll never be forgotten. All the laughter’s both of you shared, his potential, how he always cared about others. You will think about him every time the sun starts to rise, when new students get greeted, when you kill another curse-

“Hey, what’s up? Huh, what are both of you doing here, Gojo-sensei?”

This voice…

That was Yuji Itadori.

Out of instinct you turn around rapidly, not even noticing how the back of your head crushes into Satoru’s forehead with full force. He sees starts, blood taking his sight in an instant while his mind isn’t even able to comprehend it was Yuji who just spoke.

“Yuji! Are you okay? Are you hurt? You’re back!”, you babble out, embracing the boy in a tight hug.

“To be honest I don’t even know what happened last and I’m pretty hungry…Oh, you’re bleeding Gojo-sensei!”

You’re…bleeding? You turn around in confusion, following Yuji’s eyes.

“OMG SATORU!”, you cry out, the sight of your husband covered in his own blood shocking you to your core.

When did that happened…Was it…you?

“I guess you were so happy to see Itadori that you’ve forgot about me standing behind you”, he mutters amused.

“Babe I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just got so carried away and-“

“Don’t worry about me. Reversed technique, remember? I’ll be whole in seconds. Just look after Yuji, I love you.”

You let out the breath you were holding, the bright smile forming on your gorgeous face making Satoru forget the world around him for a moment. You are so caring, so passionate. And you are his wife.

“I’m a lucky man”, he mutters to himself while pressing the tissue Shoko handed him against his wound.

There you sit, gently caressing Yuji’s cheeks and asking him over and over if he’s okay.

“You really are. This isn’t a problem for you, right?”, Shoko questions with one glance at the laceration on his forehead.

The shocked look on your face replays itself over and over in his mind, lets a chuckle escape his lips. With the help but his reversed technique, it would be way too easy to get rid of that minor wound. Within seconds, there wouldn’t even be a scar left, just his flawless skin. But…it was you who did this to him out of sheer excitement. It sure would be nice to look into the mirror and get reminded of you daily, right?

“Oh, I might as well keep that”, he replies with a sly grin.

- a few weeks later -

You sit on the edge of the couch, desperately waiting for that time of the day. Even after being married to that force of a man for 4 years now, you find yourself getting all excited when he announces that he’s going to shower. Because going to shower means that he’ll come out just wearing boxers with his body still a little wet and his hair sticking to his face in that delicate way.

“Still waiting for me, huh? It’s not like you can see me naked every time you want, babe”, he finally purrs.

Your heart skips a beat. This man…How is it even allowed to look so breathtakingly gorgeous? The way a single droplet of water runs down his cheek, how he gently strokes his damp hair back.

Wait. You squint your eyes a little harder. What is that on his forehead?

“What do you have there?”, you question, rubbing your own hand against the ride side of your forehead.

This almost looks like a scar. But Satoru shouldn’t have scars. After all, he’s able to use reversed technique, healing himself in the matter of seconds. Is it just dirt? No, that definitely looks like scar tissue.

“Oh, it’s nothing”, he immediately tries to brush you off, pulling his hair back into his face.

“No way Romeo, come back here right now”, you demand.

With a swift motion you lift yourself off the couch and hunt after him.

“Is that a scar?”

“It might be…”

“Why didn’t you just heal it? Show it to me!”

When you finally catch him, you slick his hair back again. Only to be greeted what indeed looks like a middle-sized scar. But why and how did this happen, why didn’t he just heal like he usually does?

“You really don’t know where this came from?”, he challenges you.

You blink a few times. What the hell is your husband talking about?

“Why would I know where this came from?”

“Because it was you, (y/n)?”, he playfully bites back.

You? Your mind races, searching for a single moment you ever hurt your husband. You were never really able to even hurt him, no matter how berserk you went in training. When was the last time you even wounded him? But wait, there was this one time you made him bleed, that one time when…

“This was when Yuji woke up-“

“EXACTLY!”, Satoru cries out and gives you a round of applause.

“But why did you keep it? You said you’d be able to heal it…”

“Because I didn’t want to. This scar right here”

Gently, he takes your hand in his and traces the soft scar with your fingertips.

“will always remind me of what a wonderful human being you are.”

Oh. Your eyes turn glossy in an instant, staring up at your loving husband while he gifts you with the most breath-taking smile you’ve ever seen.

“Satoru”, you breathe out.

There is no time to waste. You wrap your longing arms around his tall frame tightly, aiming to never let him go again.

“Every time I look into the mirror, I think about my wonderful wife”, he mutters into your hair.

“Y’know, you could just take a picture of me or something-“

“No. I would rather just keep that scar of my wonderful wife smacking me over a student.”

You hit him playfully over his comment, a giggle escaping your precious lips.

“Come on, it wasn’t like that…”

“I’ll always tell the story like this.”

Tags: @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @hellkaiserinphoenix @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut  @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee  @froufrousnowman @tomiokathedepresso  @gojosrealwife  @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain  @risuola  @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp@localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez @belovedvamp @wifenanami @chilichopsticks @dlwlrmas-world @oikawarz @darkstarlight82 @satoreo

Dividers by @saradika 🤍

[st-eve-barnes]

Leverage (Michael Gavey x fem Reader)

Chapter 6 (the final one)

Summary: When your ex threatens to release some very personal videos you are left with no choice but to do what he asks: seduce the biggest nerd on campus, Michael Gavey. Will you rock his world or will he fundamentally change yours?

This chapter: Basically angst central, confrontations all around, things get worse before they get better. And smut of course ;)

Word count: +5000

Warning for the entire fic: 18+ for explicit content and language. Kissing, oral sex (male & fem receiving), dry humping, hand job, fingering, p in v sex. First kiss and loss of virginity. Experienced reader. Enemies to lovers vibes.

Fluff, smut and of course angst (my favorite combination! lol)

This is the last chapter and I want to thank everyone for all the love on this fic! I really did not expect this little nerd to be so popular but I guess he owns us all❤️ I hope you guys like the ending, I feel like I edited too much but I really needed to send it into the world now so I can move onto another muse ;)

Read the first chapters Here

***

All my fics are also on AO3

***

The rain was pouring down hard over Oxford that week, it was barely three in the afternoon yet it was almost completely dark outside.

Inside the Bodleian library the lights were cozy and warm. It was quiet except for a handful of students sitting at the tables to read and study.

You and Michael were doing neither of those. Instead you were hiding in the back between two book shelves, his hand tangled into your hair while his lips trailed a path down your neck, leaving sloppy wet kisses all over your skin.

He had your back pressed up against his chest, trapping you between him and the books.

“Fuck,” he breathed into your ear,”I just wanna push that skirt up and shove my cock into you right here.”

To accentuate his words he moved his hips, pushing his rock hard erection against your ass.

“You wouldn’t,” you finally managed to speak, your words contradicting your actions because you were grinding back against him just as desperately.

Michael used your hair to pull you back against him, his lips grazing the shell of your ear as he whispered,”I will if you beg me.”

His hand moved from your hip down to your thighs and in between your legs, cupping your pussy over your panties, his fingers pushing just hard enough to let you feel him. He smirked at the wetness pooling through the fabric.

“Wet means you want me, right?” he teased, kissing your neck again,”Come on, sweetheart.”

“I am not going to beg, Michael, we’re in the fucking library,” you objected in a heavy whisper.

You wanted him to stop, but you also didn’t. You never should have followed him back here. You were a bad influence on him, you were both a bad influence on each other.

“Oh, so you don’t want my cock?” Michael asked with a little teasing chuckle.

He started kissing the spot right below your ear while his hand slipped inside your panties.

And again you were not stopping him, your brain was yelling at you to quit it right now and step back but your body clearly wasn’t on board with that plan.

“Michael…not in here,” you protested but then you moaned when his fingers found your clit. He circled it slowly and so skillfully you had to bite your lip to keep from moaning out loud.

He was laughing into your ear now,”Sweetheart, stop pretending, you are fucking soaked.”

You moaned again,”God, Michael, please.” 

Were you begging him to stop or to keep going? You couldn’t tell anymore, you were completely at his mercy at this point.

The nerd you had sex with for the first time less than two months ago was no longer, this Michael was a whole new man and he was the one in control now. 

You had created a monster. A monster you wanted to fuck every hour of every day.

“Michael,” you whimpered,”We shouldn’t do this in here…”

Your protest was weak and you both knew it. There was nobody around in the area of the library where you two were but you could hear voices of other students and staff way too close for comfort. If anyone caught you two the consequences could be severe, you could both lose your scholarship and get kicked out of the university.

Yet Michael didn’t seem to care at all, making no attempts to stop or slow down as he pushed a finger inside of you and made you grab the bookshelves in front of you for support.

“Fuck,” you moaned,”Why do you feel so fucking good?”

He grabbed your neck with his free hand and started kissing your shoulders while he slowly pumped his finger in and out of you, thumb teasing your clit. 

“I learned from the best,” he whispered into your ear.

“We could get kicked out,” you tried to object again but Michael just added another finger and ignored your plea, his warm mouth sucking bruises into your skin.

“Please,” you tried again,”Michael…please, we have to stop, it’s not worth….fuck…”

“I don’t care,” he moaned softly against your neck,”I’m going to fuck you right here…if we get caught we get caught…fuck it.”

You’re not sure why exactly those words made you come back down to reality but you were quick to grab his hand and finally really stop him this time.

“No. Stop,” you insisted and this time Michael obeyed instantly, sensing the urgency in your tone.

He pulled back, letting you turn around to face him. “What’s wrong?” he asked, confused.

“You do care,” you pointed out, looking into his eyes,”You could lose your scholarship, how can you say you don’t care?”

Michael just shrugged and your only reaction was to hit him on the chest.“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“It’s your fault!” he defended himself,”I want you so bad it makes me stupid.”

You knew he didn’t mean it the way it came out but the words still cut right through you. Michael knew he fucked up. He moved his hand through his hair and sighed,”I said the wrong thing again, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did.”

He placed his hands on your waist and pulled you closer,”Come here, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, I’m sorry.”

His lips found yours in a soft kiss and your irritation melted away immediately.

“You’re right,” he then whispered,”I wasn’t thinking, and that isn’t your fault at all, I just…I’ll be more careful around campus, I promise. Are we good? Please tell me we’re good?”

You pressed your forehead against his, smiling softly when he kissed your lips again. ”Yeah, we’re good.”

“I don’t have classes for another two hours. Want to come up to my room and finish this?”

Your lips curled up into an eager smile and you nodded. Michael grabbed your hand and pulled you with him through the library and out into the rain. You stopped a few times on the way to Michael’s apartment to make out in the middle of the street, rain falling down heavily over the both of you but neither of you cared, having only eyes for each other.

As soon as you entered Michael’s room he made good on his promise. Pulling you into his arms and fucking you right there against the wall, his cargo pants down to his ankles and your panties pushed to the side. It was rushed and quick and absolutely perfect.

He made you come three more times that afternoon. Afterwards you both fell asleep on his bed, forgetting all about the studying you both had planned that day.

***

You were having coffee near the university later that week when Michael slipped into the seat opposite you, his blue eyes glowing with mischief.

He didn’t wait for you to greet him before he started rambling,“Okay, so I have this friend of a classmate who’s into IT and some other, less official, computer stuff and I told him about…your issue and he’s convinced he can help us out.’

You looked up at him over your coffee cup.”Define less official? Do you mean illegal?”

“Well,…if he can get into Ben’s computer he can delete every single file on there.”

“You mean hacking. Michael, that’s illegal,” you sighed.

“He’s done it before, it’s no big deal.”

“No big deal?” you asked, shocked,”It’s a literal crime. You’re friends with a criminal now?”

Michael gave you an annoyed glare,”He’s not my friend, and he is not a criminal, he only does this to help people out. What’s wrong? Do you not want my help now?”

“Not if it’s going to get you in trouble.”

“I won’t get in trouble.”

“Okay, I don’t want your acquaintance, the criminal, to get in trouble.”

He couldn’t help but grin at your sassy words but then he was quickly shaking his head,”We won’t get caught, and if we do…it’ll be worth it. I’m not letting that prick ruin your life.”

“What does your not-friend want in return?” you asked.

“Just some tutoring lessons,” he explained.

You sighed deeply, looking up at him.”Michael…”

“Come on, we can fix this, let me fix this for you, baby,” he begged.

“It’s illegal, Michael,” you reminded him.

“I don’t care,” he insisted.

You looked at him, at his honest eyes and the nervous yet excited smile on his lips. His cheeks blushed under your gaze and the cozy nerdy sweater he was wearing made you want to crawl into his lap and cuddle with him. 

He was so eager to help you and play the knight in shining armor. It was the library all over again, he would put all his morals and beliefs aside for you without even thinking twice about it. You knew you should feel flattered but another feeling was rapidly taking over.

The feeling that Michael was undeniably too good for you, and that you could ruin everything he’s ever wanted and worked for. 

And that it had already taken you way too long to put a stop to it.

“I can’t let you do that for me,” you then spoke softly and Michael’s face fell.

“But I want to do this for you,” he reassured you, reaching across the table to grab your hand but you didn’t take his.

“No,” you insisted,”I want you to stop.”

“Stop what? Looking out for you? Trying to protect you against that twat?”

“All of it, Michael,” you sighed,”I want to stop all of it.”

He stared at you, panic now settling in his pretty blue eyes,”All of it?”

You hadn’t even realized it until you heard yourself say the words just now but you knew it was the only way.

“That test is tomorrow, right?” you asked.

Michael nodded, still confused by your words.

“You should take the rest of the day and study.”

“I don’t need to study,” Michael interrupted you,”You know that. I'm a..."

"Genius," you interrupted him right back,"Yes I know. Then take the day to rest and get into focus. I don’t think we should hang out today.”

“Just today or…?” he asked carefully.

“You should focus on what you’re here for, Michael,” you sighed,”We both know that isn’t me.”

“But…”

“You’ve changed,” you continued,”I can see it every day, you’re more and more distracted, you’re taking risks that could impact the rest of your life and…it’s all because of me.”

Michael stayed quiet for a moment.

“Of course it’s all because of you,” he then spoke softly,”And of course I’ve changed, how can I not be? How can I spend all these weeks with you and not have it change me?”

This time you were the one who stayed silent.

“Do you think you haven’t changed?” he asked,”Because if you really haven’t then…what’s the point of all of this? What have we been doing all this time? And don’t say fucking because we both know it was more than that!”

“But it wasn’t,” you lied,”Not to me, Michael.”

You could see the exact moment his heart broke at your words.

“You’re lying,” he whispered.

“No, I’m not,” you shook your head, sounding a lot more convincing than you felt,”I used you, right from the start, and you knew that. You knew what this was."

He was fighting back tears but you couldn't stop now that you'd started.

"I liked how I felt when I was with you but that’s all it was," you added,"And I feel guilty about it now because…I realize it was cruel. And you don’t deserve that. So I’m letting you off the hook.”

“But…I…I don’t want off the hook…I…I really fucking like you…and…fuck,” Michael was struggling to find his words, shaking his head and doing his best to hide his tears from you.

“I don’t like you that way, Michael,” you whispered, as if that would somehow make your words less harsh,”I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea. I should have never gotten you involved in this. I’m so sorry, I really am.”

Michael was too stunned to say or do anything else but watch you leave. 

You held it together well until the door of the coffee shop closed behind you. For once you were grateful for the rain, for at least now nobody could see your tears.

***

Weeks passed after that, without Michael. And without Ben, you kept waiting for the bomb to drop, for him to share that video and ruin your last year in Oxford. 

But it didn’t come.

You started going out with your friends again from time to time, and focussed on studying and graduating. For whatever reason Ben had kept his distance from you and as the weeks passed you were starting to forget about the whole thing. Maybe he had been all bark and no bite after all, maybe he never even intended to do anything to begin with and it was all just scare tactics. You felt bad for ever believing him but more than anything you felt relief. It was all over now.

You didn’t see Ben for an entire month, nor did you see Michael.

But without your knowledge they did see each other, once. The day after Michael’s friend of a friend hacked into Ben’s computer.

Michael was sitting in his usual spot in the library when Ben aggressively grabbed a chair and sat right next to him.

Michael kept his calm and didn’t look up to acknowledge him at first.“What do you want?” he then asked, annoyed.

“I fucking know it was you!” Ben hissed.

“You know more than I do then,” Michael stated calmly, still not looking at him.

“I know it was one of those IT computer nerds and all you fucking nerds stick together, it’s fucking obvious.”

Michael finally laid down his pen to look at him, a smug calm smile on his face,”Prove it.”

“If I could I’d have you kicked out already,” Ben sighed annoyed.

Michael just nodded,”Then why are you here?”

Ben moved his chair closer to his and looked into his eyes, his anger replaced by a smug grin,”Because…you overlooked one small thing, genius…I would have thought you computer nerds would follow your own advice but…”

“What…advice?” Michael asked, trying not to show the sudden panic caused by Ben’s words.

“Always have a back up,” Ben stated, making Michael’s stomach twist.

“You have another copy?” he realized.

“I do, yeah,” Ben smiled,”It’s on a hard drive that you guys will never get your hands on.”

“Fuck,” Michael breathed.

Ben leaned back in his chair to look at him, his grin so smug Michael wanted to punch him in the face right there.”So, I just came by to say nice try, loser.”

He got up from the chair and wanted to walk away but Michael was quick to follow him.

“Wait! Is that…is that the only other copy you have?” he asked.

Ben laughed,”It is for now, but as soon as I get my computer up and running again I guess I should make some back ups of my back up. You never know when it could come in handy.”

Michael had to stop himself from punching him in the face but Ben just walked away, not even paying Michael any more attention.

This couldn’t be how it ended, the rich kid does not get to win.

Michael was balling his fists and biting his tongue but he soon realized there was only one other thing he could do, and it played right into Ben’s hand. But it was the only way to destroy the last evidence of that video and have you be free of him.

“I can get you in!” Michael yelled after him, making Ben turn around.

“In where?” Ben asked with a laugh.

“Charter Inc.”

Ben stopped in his tracks to look at him.”You got the job,” he realized.

Michael nodded,”I got the letter last week and I had the interview on Monday.”

“Fuck, I knew I should have heard something by now,” Ben sighed,”Damned!”

“They told me in the interview they’re always on the lookout for new people, asked me if I could recommend anyone.”

“Are you serious right now? Are you making this shit up?”

”I’m serious. And I’ll be happy to recommend you.”

“You would?” Ben laughed.

“No of course not, I’d rather fucking die,” Michael confessed,”But…I’ll do it, if you do two things for me.”

 “Name it.”

“You take me up to your room right now and we destroy that copy.”

“Alright,” Ben sighed,” And the other thing?”

“You leave her alone from now on,” Michael stated firmly,“I promise to do my utter best to get you in if you do these two things for me. You have my word on that. Do we have a deal?”

Ben looked at him and then caved, nodding his head,”Fine, sure, whatever, man. If there’s a chance you can get me the job I always wanted I don’t give a fuck about some stupid sex video. But you’d better not be lying to me, Gavey, or I’m coming for you.”

Michael followed Ben out of the library and into the hallway.“That’s fine, you can come after me all you want, just…leave her alone.”

“Look at you playing the knight in shining armor,” Ben teased,”Why are you doing all this? Didn’t she dump you?”

“Yeah, she did,” Michael whispered.

“Aww, you think she’s gonna come running back into your arms when you tell her how you saved her? That’s pathetic, man.”

“No, I don’t,” he sighed.

“Then why go through all this trouble, dude? You love her or something?”

Michael shook his head and blushed,”You would’t get it.”

He didn’t tell Ben anything else.

And he didn’t tell you anything either. Not then or during the weeks after.

***

It was the day of graduation when you ran into Ben, literally, on your way out of the courtyard. The both of you dressed up to the nines to celebrate. Ben didn’t have the usual smug smile or big mouth on him this time, he just congratulated you and reassured you everything else was in the past, which was of course very easy for him to say as he hadn’t been the one on the receiving end of his empty threats.

But you couldn’t be bothered wasting any more time or thoughts on him so you just congratulated him back and then walked away.

“Hey, how’s Gavey?” he asked before you could turn your back on him.

“I wouldn’t know, I haven’t seen him,” you confessed.

You didn’t want to talk to Ben to begin with and you definitely didn’t want to talk to him about Michael.

“Huh,” Ben looked at you confused for a moment and then smiled,”Oh wait, he never told you, didn’t he?”

“Told me what, Ben?” you asked impatiently,”I swear to god if this is another one of your tricks…”

“It’s not, I don’t…I don’t do that shit anymore, it was stupid and childish.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” you sighed annoyed,”What then?”

“You might want to thank the nerd. You dumped him and he still saved your ass, I guess I underestimated the power of your pussy, I should apologize to her.”

You wanted to punch him in the face again and this time there was nothing or nobody stopping you so you did. Your fist hit him right on the nose and he jumped back with a painful yelp.

“Apology accepted,” you nodded and turned your back on him for the very last time.

***

You searched for over an hour to find Michael, making your way through the partying crowd outside. People were cheering and drinking everywhere and you were about to give up when you suddenly noticed him standing by himself, a proud happy smile on his face as he watched the people around him.

You took a moment to just look at him from a distance. He looked just as awkward and out of place as you remembered, fiddling with his glasses and not getting too close to other people. It reminded you of that first night you’d met with him in the pub.

But despite his awkwardness he also looked genuinely happy and for a moment you contemplated just walking away and letting things be. Clearly he was doing fine without you now. Did you really have the right to put yourself into his life again after months of nothing?

But the choice was taken from you when Michael noticed you. At first he just stared with a blank expression on his face, then his hand lifted in a little hesitant wave. When you waved back he broke into a smile and walked up to you.

“Hey,” his voice was soft and so kind it made your heart soar.

“Hey,” you smiled back, and then without thinking you wrapped your arms around his neck to give him a quick hug.

Michael didn’t freeze this time. Much to your surprise he grabbed your waist to pull you close to him and hug you back, his face buried into your hair. When you pulled him even closer he followed your lead, fully enveloping you into his arms, hands caressing your back and your hair.

You could hear him sigh deeply, holding you tight while he breathed you in.

“How have you been?” he asked eventually, breaking the spell and the hug.

You leaned back to look at him,“I’m okay. You?”

He nodded shyly,”Yeah, I’m okay too.”

“Ben told me what you did.”

“Oh…that was nothing, everyone would have done it.”

You shook your head with a sad smile,”No, they wouldn’t have, Michael, especially not after what I did…I don’t deserve any of it. I was horrible to you.”

He just gave you another smile and shrugged, finally taking his hands off you and it took everything in you not to grab them tight and hold onto him.

”You were just trying to get yourself out of a difficult situation,” Michael spoke,”I’m not mad, I never was. What happened…happened.”

His kindness only made you feel even more sad.

“And it all turned out for the best, I guess?” he then added,”Ben’s gone, you’re free of him. And of me…and I’m no longer a virgin. We all won in the end, didn’t we?”

“Did we?” you sighed quietly.

Michael’s eyes rested on yours, genuinely confused by your words,”Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t…seem okay.”

You bit your lip but it was too late, tears had started falling from your eyes and you couldn’t stop them. You did your best to wipe them away quickly.

Michael stepped closer to you, looking deeper into your eyes while hesitantly placing a hand back on your waist,”What’s wrong? You can tell me.”

You bit your lip and shook your head, looking down to avoid his eyes but Michael placed a hand in your neck and forced you to look at him.

“Tell me,” he insisted, softer.

You nodded but then shook your head,”Not here.”

“Okay,” Michael agreed,”Your place or mine?”

“Yours,” you whispered.

***

Michael’s room was as immaculately clean as ever, some things clearly never changed. His suitcase was packed next to the bed, ready to leave Oxford, and you, behind.

“I’d offer you some tea but I already packed everything, I’m sorry,” Michael apologized,”Was going to head on home right after graduation.”

“You weren’t going to stay and celebrate?”

“With who?” he laughed bitterly and sat down on the sofa, eyes avoiding yours. You followed his lead and sat down next to him.

“I’m glad you got the job,” you said to break the silence between you two.

Michael nodded. “I’m not sure if it’s what I want yet.”

“Why not?” you asked surprised.

He shrugged.”It’s a big corporate firm, biggest of the country, I’d be settled for life if I do well there but…I don’t know, been thinking a lot about life and what I want lately.”

You looked at him and he didn’t hesitate to look back this time,”Being with you changed me, Y/N,” he then confessed,”I know that’s not what you want to hear but…it's a good thing. Even if it didn't end the way I'd hoped. The change is still good, and I'll never be sorry.”

“Being with you changed me too,” you confessed, shutting him up,”I’ve been trying to deny it for so long because...it's scary as fuck. But you were right, being with the right person should change you.”

Michael held your gaze, his lips curling up into the tiniest of smiles.”I was the right person for you?” he then whispered.

You nodded, unable to deny it any longer.”I think you still might be,” you sighed.

Michael didn’t speak, he only stared at you for the longest time with a serious expression on his face.

“I miss you,” you added in a whisper, tears forming in your eyes but they didn’t get a chance to fall this time because Michael caught them. His hand gently cupped your cheek, thumb brushing your skin and then he pressed his lips to yours in a soft lingering kiss.

“I miss you too,” he breathed,”Missed you every day since you left.”

He kissed you again, deeper this time, his tongue searching for yours and when you moaned into the kiss his hands moved down to your waist, pulling you close to him.

Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down on top of you on the couch and he followed eagerly, lips never leaving yours as he took his rightful spot in between your legs, where he belonged.

You kissed for several minutes, making up for lost time. Michael’s weight on you felt so perfect, his hands were soft as they made their way underneath your dress, pulling your panties down, just enough so he could slip his fingers underneath the thin fabric. 

You moaned his name when he started circling your clit, hips bucking up against his hand immediately, seeking his touch.

“Please,” you whimpered,”Please, I need you.”

“Hmm, I can tell,” Michael smirked,”My fingers are soaking wet and I’ve barely touched you, you missed me that much, sweetheart?”

You couldn’t help but smile in relief at the use of his pet name and the sudden confidence in him,”Yes,” you confessed,”I’ve missed you that much.”

The big grin on Michael’s face made you smile even more and just before he was about to slip a finger inside of you, you grabbed his hand to stop him, eyes locking with his.”No, not your hand this time,” you breathed and leaned in to whisper into his ear,”I need your cock.”

Michael whimpered at your words. You could have cried with how good it felt to hear those sounds coming out of his mouth again. You kissed him and your hands moved down over his ass, pushing his pants down and freeing his erection. You didn’t want to waste any more time so your hand wrapped around his length to stroke him, slow but firm, making him moan and whimper some more.

“Fuck, you’re killing me,” Michael whined,”I need…I need to be inside of you, please.”

You bit your lip and smiled, pressing your forehead to his.”I forgot how pretty you are when you beg,” you teased him, aligning the head of his cock with your entrance. 

For a long moment neither of you moved, Michael just looked at you, his eyes filled with so much longing. His thumb brushed your chin and then he placed a featherlight kiss to your lips.

“Open up to me,” he whispered and you obeyed, opening your mouth to allow him to kiss you deeper. He pushed his tongue inside of you at the same time his cock slipped into your welcoming walls.

He didn’t fuck you right away, instead he took his time just kissing you, slow and deep while he bottomed out, filling you up to the hilt. You tried to move your hips but Michael’s hand kept you in place. You wouldn’t be able to stand it for much longer, you needed friction, needed to feel him.

“Shhh,” he shook his head,”Stop fighting me.”

You whimpered in protest but nodded your head.

“Why did you come looking for me today?” he then asked.

“Michael,” you whined,”Seriously, you wanna talk now?”

“Answer the question,” he insisted.

“Fuck,” you breathed,”You know why.”

He gently cupped your cheek, taking the time to control his own breathing. You knew he was struggling just as much as you were but he seemed determined to see this through.

“Want to hear you say it,” he whispered.

“I missed you,” you confessed.

“Me? Or my cock?”

“Both.”

He couldn’t stop himself from smiling at your answer.“So, what? You want one last good fuck before we both go our separate ways and you tell me to fuck off again?” he then asked and with that question his confidence crumbled. 

And suddenly it was all you could see, not the confident man but that shy insecure boy who’d never been kissed, who turned your world upside down just by being his weird, amazing self. The boy who always said the absolute wrong thing at the wrong time. He was still right there.

The boy who fundamentally changed you. Your lips curled up into a smile and you shook your head.

“No,” you cupped his face with both hands,”I don’t want one good fuck. I want all of them, every single day, from now on, with you. If you still want me.”

Michael’s eyes closed in a heavy, relieved sigh as he leaned into you, letting you pull him into your arms.

“I still want you,” he breathed. 

It didn’t take long after that for him to finally start moving, bucking his hips against yours, slowly but with an undeniable desperation to it. The both of you were clinging to each other, breathing in each other’s moans and then Michael took up the pace, fucking you deeper and faster.

It didn’t take long for you to fall apart and Michael followed suit quickly, spilling himself deep inside of you with another delicious whine before he collapsed in your arms.

The room was quiet after that, nothing but your heavy breaths mingling and Michael’s heartbeat fast against yours. He kissed your jaw and your neck, lazy and soft until he could feel you smile against his cheek. He took off his fogged up glasses to look at you properly, the happiest of smiles on his face, warming your heart.

“So, got any plans for the summer?” you asked.

“Yeah, I do now,” he smirked before placing another lingering kiss in your neck,”You.”

[claudiafrankie]

Pick a Card: Let me Describe You/What You're Going Through

DISCLAIMER: TAROT IS NOT AN EVIDENCE-BASED PRACTICE. YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF MAKING YOUR OWN DECISIONS.

Pile 1: The Birds

This pile feels strongly ancestral. I don't know if you connect with your ancestors but they sure as shit want to connect with you lol. I think something in your life is in the process of unfolding and you are doing a really good job of staying objective about it. Not meddling with the outcome, just letting what will be, be. There seems to be a lot of chatter and external opinions flying around you, and your ancestors are like "for the birds" lmao.

For awhile now you have been in a stage of agitation, like when the piece of sand gets caught in an oyster and is transformed into a pearl. I think there's people around you that can sense that this is going on within you, but they might not have the tools to articulate this or approach you in a loving/sincere way about it, with the concern for your well-being/desire to help at the forefront of their intentions.

You could be isolating a lot because you feel this energy. You have become masterful at creating a haze/fog around yourself to conceal and protect yourself. It's like your in the kitchen cooking for company and your guests are breathing down your neck like "When's it going to be ready?? What are you making in there??? Can I see can I see can I see????" Lol I don't think these people have ill intentions they just don't know how to support you right now. I think you might have to take a more direct approach if you want them to lay off, though. I don't see them easing up/giving you your space, so if you want/need that it might be time to say that up front. You are pretty good at evading prying eyes, but you may have to play mama bear for yourself if you need more space than what you're getting.

I think you've been getting a lot of downloads and messages about your path and your healing process. You need to know that to integrate these messages you have to find better ways to rest. Not just literally like sleeping or napping, but things you can do to relax your mind and especially your body. You're kind of in a gestation process. Dealing with that on top of the stress of everyday living (and these birds who can't seem to mind their own business lol) calls for a more serious prioritization of slowing down.

I feel like I need to tell you that meditation doesn't have to be sitting still and breathing. Beach-combing can be meditative, coloring in a coloring book can be meditative, baking brownies can be meditative. I think it would really help you to pick an activity that is simple and slow and just really do it. Feel the pebbles/sand crunch/squeak under your feet, feel the coarse calcium shells, smell the crayons and watch their colors flood a blank page, listen to the egg shells crack on the counter.

I get that you might be dealing with some feelings of fear and/or dread. You aren't really sure what you're transforming into, and what will be left standing in your life once the process is complete. You're not a bad person for changing and leaving things or people behind. I think you are the type to cling to guilt over past relationships and really beat yourself up over mistakes. You are allowed to make mistakes. Once you start giving yourself that grace I think this gestation period will be a lot more bearable. It will still be uncomfortable, but you'll have a greater level of tolerance for discomfort and a stronger skill set for accommodating yourself.

I think you might be called to help guide others who are going through a similar process as well. I think this is not the first time you have moved through a period like this. You have the ability to notice when someone is struggling with changes in their own life and psyche, and the wisdom to be a source of comfort and guidance for them. I think you have encountered unsolicited advice and know how unhelpful and frustrating it can be to be on the receiving end of that, you know how to hold space for people in uncomfortable transition periods and not assert your own opinions/perspectives onto them of what they "should" be doing or what you think would be "good" for them. More than anything you understand how invaluable it is to have someone witness what you're going through and reflect it back to you without judgement. To really see you, and be with you.

Take care pile 1.

Pile 2: The Tower

Woah. This pile feels old old. There is a profoundly detached energy coming through for you guys, very cerebral and heady. It's not cold, but there is a sort of ruthless... neutrality. You see everyone as being on the same level, playing on the same field, fighting for the same things. Just maybe with some different outfits or weapons. This perspective informs your behavior heavily, and I feel like this might be misread by those around you as a disregard for authority, a sense of entitlement, of superiority. When in actuality, you're simply carrying yourself as exactly what you are: a sovereign being with power over your own life. You know that no one gets to tell you who you are, ever.

This kind of self-image and worldview, to many, is radical. Your presence forces people to confront themselves. They see you move through obstacles, pick yourself up, let things bounce right off you, and keep trying. They see your unwavering sense of self, a steady fire burning in a hearth. They are confronted with the reality that they have not cultivated this in themselves, or at least have not attained the level of mastery they perceive in you.

This can go two ways: some look to you as a source of inspiration. Some as competition. This pile is used to people competing with them for no good reason. You may have had people pretend to be friends with you, get close to you, try and siphon off of the glow and warmth of your inner world. You see the pain in people and you easily forgive, you are understanding of the myriad of reasons why people struggle to accept themselves. But you have also learned that, at the end of the day, we either decide to do something about this pain or we don't. And you can't make anyone do anything. There's that radical neutrality. You have faith that everyone is where they are meant to be, and will end up where they are meant to go.

Two of the tarot cards I pulled for you guys were Justice and the Ace of Swords. You guys are both a channel for the truth and the truth itself. The smallest things you do signal to others how you see the world, how you understand your place in it. I forget where I heard this, but there is an idea of "how you do one thing is how you do everything." That's you guys. Your beliefs permeate into everything you do.

I think for a lot of you, your karma could be playing out in the workplace. I think you are supposed to model for people what it means to really do the work, literally and figuratively. You are meticulous and shrewd. I might even say brilliant. You have a sharp mind and the drive to back it up. I get the sense that if you wanted to you could really fuck with people, but you don't. And I think this is for two reasons: I think you have a genuine appreciation and love for people and humanity, and I think you also have a deep understanding of the laws of karma. You understand the seriousness and precariousness of it all. You do not hold this lightly.

Maybe things feel stagnant at work, like they aren't moving, like your efforts go unnoticed or worse, are disregarded. Keep going. Keep trying. Not for anyone but yourself. Because you owe it to yourself to cultivate something that is all yours. Brick by brick, I think you have the potential to build yourself into a seriously successful person. But I don't think you'll be one of those people who has windfalls of luck - unexpected promotions or raises. And if these things do come to you, I see that these speedy promotions will be ultimately reversed. You are here to show people what it means to do it yourself, do it right. And doing it right takes time. But I don't think you need me to tell you that. ;)

Take it easy pile 2.

Pile 3: The Heart

You guys are tired and fed the fuck up is who you are lmao. I think the amount of pressure and frustration you have been encountering in your relationships has been building and building and building. As I'm writing this the time is 5:55, and two of your tarot cards are the five of pentacles and the five of swords. Things are changing for you guys, and it probably feels like, "Finally."

I think you're moving through a period where you have felt powerless when it comes to your relationships. There is a lot of build up of resentment for the people around you. I think you have been trying to stay optimistic, and maybe pushing down the part of you that's like "actually no......... we're not going to be treated like that"

I think there is or was a group of people that made you feel excluded. Your mistakes were magnified and your wins were ignored. You have been made to feel like it's your fault that they don't accept you, framing the dynamics as though you are the one who has to earn their approval. There is a really fucked up weaponizing of abandonment/belonging here. Like the behavior of these people is underhanded and covert, nothing really big happens that you can point to and say "That's what I'm talking about!!! Y'all are giant assholes!" It's all under the surface but it is detectable in so many of your interactions. They have been trying to get you to crack, to contort yourself to meet their expectations, to sacrifice your autonomy and self respect to fit in, just like they have.

I think there is some danger here on your part of swinging to an extreme. With the level of anger and frustration depicted in your cards, I wouldn't be surprised if you are fighting back tooth and nail your impulse to smack a bitch. I would like to tell you that, while honestly this would likely be a valid response in your situation, please do not engage in these types of behavior. Once to retaliate or respond to how you are being treated, it will be twisted. Even though you are the one who has been poked, prodded, and laughed at, if you respond to this - you will be made out to be the bad guy. And I know that that is crazy-making, but it's unfortunately how the world works. Don't give them the satisfaction. Take all that pent up energy and channel it into something for you, don't waste it on these people. They don't deserve it. Let it fuel your work ethic, start a new creative project, learn a new skill, start a side hustle, whip yourself into killer shape. Start your winter arc early, if you will. Let them watch you climb to the top, and then smile at them.

I think yeah you're just in a time of realizing how much of yourself you have set aside to please other people, and how detrimental this is to you and your relationships. You might have been feeling socially "stuck" for a long time. Past hurts have calcified and become like part of your skeletal structure. You've been in so much pain. I'm not sure if you've been keeping what you've been going through to yourself but if you have, it seems like some kind of outlet would be good. Even if you don't have anyone in your life that you feel safe opening up to, or if you can't afford therapy, use your body, journal, scream in a pillow, rage cry, dance it out to bad bitch anthems. This is like heavy and sharp and hot energy and it's just sitting in your solar plexus. You could be lashing out at people who don't deserve it and pushing away potential friends because there's just so much of this pain that you are struggling to express it and move through it. This is human and normal and there is nothing wrong with you!!!!

Best of luck pile 3

[danieyells]

hi there,

thank you so much for all the voicelines you post !! if it’s okay, can i request subaru’s ?

thank you again !

You're welcome! At some point I might go back and put in the ones I leave out because they don't appeal to me as much lol but since i always end up posting 99% of them anyway I think it's enough for most people hahaha. It's all of them now! Sorry for the delay.

I WAS GONNA OMIT ONE OR TWO BECAUSE OF SPOILERS but eh i'll just warm for like. extra spoilers. since after doing more code peeking it wasn't the spoiler i thought it was. SUBARU IS A SWEETIE THOUGH. I also read Subaru's chats which were put in the code recently and. Man this guy needs anxiety meds. I have a small guess as to what his stigma is, but we'll learn in a few days anyway.

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"I'm very sorry to have kept you waiting. It's wonderful to see you again."

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"It looks like there's a notice for you. I'd be happy to go pick it up for you if you've got your hands full. Oh, forgive me if I'm overstepping."

oh no he's anxious about helping--

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"I really am so lucky to be surrounded by so many kind people like you."

"I never thought I'd get the chance to enjoy the lifestyle of a student until I came to Darkwick. Every day truly is fulfilling here."

it feels like subaru is like. . .the only one who actually enjoys school life here. . .or who really enjoys being here period lmao. . . .

"You think I'm always smiling? Ha ha, I hear that a lot. It just happens when I'm around all of you."

"I may be the captain, but it's just in name. I think Haku is much better suited for the job than me."

"I've been working since I was four, so people often said I was mature for my age. But the truth is, I've still got a lot to learn."

that makes two characters whose parents have essentially been keeping them from normal life and normal childhood for work reasons since they were four year olds. . . .

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"I tend to just have hot water for breakfast. I know it would be better for me to eat a proper meal, but it's just so much effort."

DO WE REALLY HAVE TO START WITH "I NEED THE GHOULS TO EAT PROPER FUCKIN MEALS". . . .

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I'm sorry I'm so late. The campus is so crowded I can never manage to walk in a straight line, so it always takes me longer than I think. Silly, isn't it?"

baby you're hardly the first person i've met with anxiety about crowds. you're fine.

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"What would I do without Haku's help? Hotarubi would be a mess without him."

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I wonder if I should apply early to take out any common artifacts I might need for this mission. I'll ask Haku what he thinks..."

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Ah!  You surprised me there... I just got back from a small errand. Do you need something?"

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Ever since I was a child, the performing arts were my only focus. Maybe that's why people always say my mannerisms are so peculiar. It bothers you too, doesn't it?"

poor boy doesn't know how to act if he isn't acting. . .he doesn't know how to exist off-script. . .no wonder he made a deal with a demon. it's probably the first thing he's ever done for himself.

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I'd like to go to the cafeteria, but the line is always so long. I feel bad taking time to choose while people are waiting behind me. The bar of entry feels a little high."

i am once again suggesting subaru get anxiety meds. hell go to sinnostra and get some weed, i bet they sell that. i hear it can help.

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'm just about to go and meet a friend. I hate to inconvenience you like this, but if it's something urgent, could you speak to Haku about it instead?"

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"What am I going to do? We're supposed to be meeting up in an hour... If I cancel now, they'll hate me..."

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Whew... I'll walk you back to your house, {PC}. Oh, it's no problem at all, I assure you! I wanted some fresh air anyway."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"I have an Anomalous Ecology test coming up. It's such a fascinating subject, I couldn't help but stay up all night studying. Now I'm a little sleep-deprived."

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I'm going to stretch my legs a little. I might not have a show to practice for right now, but I need to keep putting myself through my paces. I'll get rusty otherwise."

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'm sorry my phone's been making so much noise. I recently downloaded an app by mistake, and it won't stop sending me notifications..."

awww he's also technologically incompetent. . .poor guy was probably raised with such a heavy focus on his career he just. never needed a smartphone. anyone he needed to contact or who needed to contact him was probably always very close by. it sounds like he didn't even properly go to school before going to Darkwick. Somebody please take this boy on a walk. like anywhere. take him to a library. buy him a churro. can sho make churros? this is somebody who's never had any sort of normal social experience and sees how different he is and wishes it weren't the case, unlike Ritsu who assumes everyone else is like him, i think he'd like to have some more Experiences.

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"... ...Oh! Hello, {PC}—I didn't even notice you there. My mind was somewhere else."

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Good morning! Sorry? My hair's messy? You're right, it's sticking right up at the front... That's embarrassing. I'll fix it right away."

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I usually have lunch in the dormitory. I do eat on the terrace with Lyca every now and then, but he seems so busy these days..."

Lyca is one of the members of Obscuary, btw! Seems like he and Subaru are friends.

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"I didn't take you for a night owl, {PC}. Since you're here, I suppose I'll stay up a little longer. You're sure you're okay? You're not sleepy?"

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Do you visit Sinostra very often, {PC}? I see... Oh, no reason. I was just making conversation. Ha ha."

why do you ask that. . .a certain mafioso captain wouldn't happen to be suspicious of you would he. . .or maybe you owe them money. . .or maybe you used to be part of Sinostra and moved to Hotarubi. . . .

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"It's getting late, {PC}. How about we finish this tomorrow? Thank you for keeping me company all this time."

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Oh, I couldn't ask you to come all the way to my room to wake me up—I'd feel terrible. I do very much appreciate the thought, though."

it's okay buddy jin already makes them do it, one more pit stop won't hurt.

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Oh, hello, {PC}. Sorry, I was actually just on my way out. I should be back by evening—do you mind if we speak then?"

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Lyca has seen my message, so why hasn't he responded to it? I hope nothing bad has happened to him..."

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Lyca will adapt well to human society, I'm sure of it. I'm so relieved that Darkwick chose to trust him. I can't thank you enough for your help."

he really likes Lyca huh? that is his dog.

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"You can't sleep? Then let me tell you some stories. Legend has it that evil spirits appear once you've told a hundred. Now, what number was I up to..."

BOY IS TRYNA GET YOUR ASS HAUNTED.

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"I don't want to seem like I'm testing you, I just... I get really anxious sometimes... I'm sorry. I'm being weird, aren't I?"

he's the type to ask 'are you sure you love me? are you sure you wanna be with me?' after you get married and move in together and own a house and have two kids with another on the way. he's the hyper anxious 'i'm sorry we disagreed about our favorite colors do you hate me?' friend(affectionate) I wonder though, is he apologizing for seeming like he's testing you because he's using his stigma to see what you've been up to or something. . .? Probably not lol it's more likely he just keeps asking if you like him

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"There is no time like spring. Everyone seems more relaxed this time of year. It's reassuring to see."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"I have some sakura mochi. I was just about to prepare some tea to go with it—would you like to join me?"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"They have no control over whether they bloom, and yet they get made a spectacle of nonetheless... Oh, sorry—I was talking about the cherry blossoms."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"There are many different flowers growing in Hotarubi, but I think the wisteria are my favorites. This is the best time to see them, so you should take a walk around."

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Hot today, isn't it? It's always raining in Hotarubi, so it does provide a little escape from the blazing summer sun, but... Ha ha. It is very humid, isn't it?"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Summer makes me think of the ghost story Yotsuya Kaidan. The scene where Oiwa becomes hysterical, having realized her her face has been disfigured— incredible."

Yotsuya Kaidan is one of the best known japanese ghost stories! It's extremely violent, so read the summary at your discretion. The scene in question has Oiwa shown her reflection by her sister's boss to see that the cream she was given by a woman who was in love with her husband was actually some sort of poison that instantly scarred her face. She grabs a sword and goes to kill her, only for her to accidentally slit her own throat.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hotarubi House holds regular festivals during the summer months. If you need a yukata to wear, I'd be happy to pick one out for you."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I don't mind scary stories, but when that biwa in the tea room started playing by itself, it did make me jump a little..."

slight spoiler, although you can probably figure it out from this but. . .Zenji is a ghost. Subaru currently can't actually see him or hear his voice. . .only Haku, the pc, and, perhaps not so oddly, Towa can afair. All of his youtube content doesn't have him or his voice in it because he can't be recorded by cameras. So Subaru doesn't realize that the biwa playing on its own is actually Zenji playing the biwa.

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"The air has gotten crisper, and the leaves are changing color. I know it's only natural for the seasons to shift, so why does it make my heart ache so much?"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Oh, these? They're some chestnuts I found. I know—I should give them to Sho. I'm sure he'll be able to make something delicious with them."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"That's another kuchikiri tea ceremony under my belt. It's an annual tradition where one cuts open a tea jar to reveal the tea that was preserved from the first harvest."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"On long autumn nights when the moon is shining beautifully in the sky, it's hard to resist taking a walk outside. Don't stay out until too late though, {PC}."

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"...Oh, {PC}. Good morning... I had a hard time getting up today. It must be the cold... Ha ha. Not very captain-like, is it?"

Jin, Taiga, and Ed are all prone to not getting out of bed. and Yuri falls asleep on operating tables when he has down time. Trust me Subaru you are perfectly captain-like.

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Today, I'm going to order ingredients from one of my favorite stores so we can all make negima—tuna and scallion—hot pot together. Please, do join us."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"It's cold out today. I was just thinking about lighting the fire. Would you like to come and warm up with me?"

oh subaru you don't even know how that sounds

(between 8pm and 5am)

"People say winter makes you want to snuggle up with someone, but I find that a good blanket does a much better job."

i agree that blankets are much easier to manage than people lol. probably warmer too.

His birthday: (February 20th)

"A present? For me? Thank you... I didn't expect you to do anything for my birthday, so I'm a little caught off guard. I really appreciate it."

Your birthday:

"Um... Happy birthday.  I really hope this year will be a wonderful one for you."

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year. I hope I can depend on your guidance and support again this year."

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"Chocolate? Oh, It's Valentine's Day, isn't it? Does that mean these are for me...?"

nah i just wanted you to look at them. YES THEY ARE FOR YOU BBY. why would you be showing him chocolate if it wasn't for him! On any day, not just valentine's day!!

White Day: (March 14th)

"These are for you, {PC}. I put in a special order for monaka from my favorite confectioner in Ginza. They're wafers filled with bean jam—I hope you like them."

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"Earlier, Haku told me he was switching houses. It gave me a real shock— I'm very relieved that it wasn't true..."

i bet subaru made the most scared kicked puppy face and started apologizing for being such an awful captain and blamed himself for that haku would go to a different house and haku had to quickly explain it was just a prank for fear that subaru might burst into tears.

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Happy Halloween. I know it's nothing special, but I've prepared some treats for the occasion. Oh... But you're more than welcome to play a trick instead."

please don't trick him. april fool's day was hard enough for him.

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Merry Christmas. We already have our New Year decorations up in Hotarubi, so it has a real east-meets-west atmosphere now. I hope everyone is okay with it..."

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Everyone seems busy at the moment. Maybe I should use this opportunity to tidy the garden..."

(13 affinity and above)

"{PC}? Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I was just worried because you were so quiet..."

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"You're back... I'm so relieved. I was worried I'd done something to make you feel uncomfortable..."

this man shakes like a chihuahua 24/7. like you can taste the anxiety coming off of him. i love him. he's so pathetic(affectionate). i wanna squeeze his hand reassuringly and tell him everything's gonna be okay. i wanna hug him and pat his head. i wanna take him places so he learns more about the world outside of working. i wanna watch him do schoolwork excitedly because he's never really gone to school before and it's a new and exciting experience. i want him to experience the most mundane aspects of life with wonder.

good boy. yeah. get him anxiety meds /nodnod

[thestrangestthlng]

Thoughts and prayers rants...

So, now that I've had almost 48 hours to marinate on this and cycled through my emotions, I am in a much better headspace to talk on the whole 9-1-1 of it all.

But this bears repeating: We fell in love with Tommy because he made Buck fall in love with Evan.

So, first and foremost, I've decided that canon stopped for me at 8x05. lol. I am going to continue with my BT train like that shit show didn't happen. And for me, for a while, I am going to let the show end there. I will go back, probably after the hiatus, but not how I was. I do love all the characters on this show (some more than others) and I still want to be able to see their journey, but I need a break from that manipulation stunt. I'm still going to share all the positive BT stuff I see and all the beautiful Lou content I see.

Secondly, now that I am over the initial hurt of the breakup, I'm just mad. We were manipulated intentionally with 8x05 for us to feel worse when the break up happened. That was unnecessary. And that was cruel. And I know that a lot of this is because it was the icing on a shit week. Emotions were already raw due to the election and it was reallllllyyyy bad timing for this, but that doesn't make the way they did it okay, just that it can explain why there was such a strong reaction for many of us, on top of the completely justified anger.

Breakups happen, and that's okay. If it was the end of Tommy's time on the show, that's okay. I am a Buck girlie and I always will be. But... the breakup was reductive, stereotypical, and just poor storytelling. I get they want to leave doors open a crack, because you never truly know, but turning him into an OOC stereotypical biphobic gay man is disgusting. You had this beautiful thing and you shat on it. I am going to do another post about my personal relationship with groundbreaking storylines next.

That was a miscommunication. That was a breakup where someone chases after you and is like wtf actually just happened. It felt like whiplash, because that is not how breakups are formulated in media. You know how else you could have written him out of the story?

At the date (and the basketball tickets are actually a really sweet touch when you think about it) Tommy could have told Buck that he got a job offer in another city or state or that his parents are ill and he has to go home to take care of them and asked Buck to go with him. At the apartment, it could have been buck telling him that as much as he could see a future with him, he can't go with him.

Would it have sucked? Yes. But it wouldn't have induced this amount of rage.

For over six months Lou and BTs have been at the receiving amount of a ton of vitriol. And that's not to say that there weren't antagonizers on this side of the fence or that BTs never did anything wrong, but this isn't a both sides bullshit piece. People can suck everywhere, but only one "side" harassed an actor and his family with death threats, he read about the "stoning" calls, used slurs on a regular basis. All of this persisted for months for it to turn out that he was the only one who seemed to give a shit about the story and it's representation. There honestly doesn't seem like there would have been anyone better for it.

You know what's ironic? It was the Buddie's hate and vitriol that pulled me into fandom and made me love Tommy and then Lou. When they would run their mouths, I would look into it and I found a man who genuinely seems like (he is still someone we don't know) a wonderfully kind, sweethearted, genuine man. He looks like a bundle of light and his smile can warm even the coldest hearts. So their vitriol made me a fan. So thanks BoBs.

Buck and Tommy wasn't just about Buck's queerness and definitely not about "wanting to see two white men kiss". It was about our love for Buck. We saw him happier and more fulfilled than he's ever been. We see his life being lived and full of love and stuff and joy.

Again:

We fell in love with Tommy because he made Buck fall in love with Evan.

And you know what, not matter how reductive and all the phobics that breakup was, they can never take that away from us.