#'you look better this way'. you look better when you're being your honest self. ...you look better when you look like the ai di

[ballroomeddie]

ok, so i was talking to some lovely mutuals @atlasblue85 @livesbetweenpages about these two scenes and it got me thinking about something that i’ve been mulling over for a while; what eddie means when talks about buck making everything about buck.

turns out i'm not one for brevity (oops) sooo tldr at the end.

imo the most pivotal buck lines from the wanna go for the title scene (apart from the aforementioned) are: a) Look, I’m sorry that I wasn’t there, Eddie… I should have been there. b) If you’re not gonna be honest with Frank, at least be honest with me. c) …you prefer to work it out in the ring. d) You don’t think while you were going through your phase, just maybe, you were throwing your punches at the wrong guy? 

the way i see it buck is saying (in order) a) i consider it my responsibility to be there for you and to take care of you (and chris). i’m sorry i failed. b) please, let me be there for you c) i see you. i understand that fighting is/was therapeutic for you. i’m not judging you for it d) if fighting is how you work out your issues, then i think you should fight me. i’m the one you have a problem with. i’m the one who failed you.

pivotal eddie lines--apart from Not that you didn’t deserve it, but I wouldn’t do that. You’re on blood thinners😏 (my cunty king. i luv him sm)--: a) We’re way past that, Buck. b) Look, things got a little out of hand for both of us. Don’t beat yourself up about it. c) Who said I wasn’t being honest with Frank… Maybe I’m just not a therapy kind of guy. d) Seriously? You’re gonna make it about you, again?

imo the underlying meaning here is: a) there’s nothing to apologize for b) please, stop apologizing. i don’t need saving, you didn’t fail me, you didn’t do anything wrong. i know it looked like i needed you from your vantage point, but i'm fine. promise. pretend you didn’t see that. there’s nothing to see here. i’m self sufficient. c) look, buck, i don’t need therapy, i don’t need anything, you have no idea what you’re talking about. i’m S E L F SUFFICIENT. d) my guy, you’re starting to piss me off. i understand that you have this incessant need to fix everything for everyone, but i’m not the one. you have this need to be a good boy but you don’t have to bring me, and the issues that i definitely don’t have, into it. because i’m fuckin SELF SUF.FI.CIENT!

interesting interesting interesting. thoughts thoughts thoughts.

but what about 8x09, sob stories?

pivotal eddie lines--apart from his beautiful brown bambi eyes 🥺 that say sosososo much--: a) It really is always about you isn’t it? b) [I was trying to be supportive, okay?] And you succeeded up to a point c) If you need to be pissed off at me to make it easier for you, then be pissed off. d) I don’t like it any more than you do. e) …if you're gonna make this about me having to choose between you or my son, you’re gonna lose every time. f) What about your loft…. You really did that for me?

my interpretation. a) here you go again, trying to fix shit. please stop. there’s nothing to fix. and tbh, lately you’ve only made things worse. b) i’m so sorry 🥺 i didn’t mean that. things are always better when you’re around. it’s just… things are complicated rn. we’re in an unprecedented situation and idk how to handle it. c) look, i’m sorry for putting you in this awful situation. you’re allowed to be mad at me. you should be mad at me. d) this is not easy for me. it’s not nothing. i’m mad at me too. e) i’m honestly hurt and disappointed that you would try to exploit my feelings for the fact that i’m gonna miss you. if i have to choose between missing you and hurting my son, i’ll choose the former. everytime. f) you can’t do this. you don’t have to do this. i can’t ask you to do this. you’re a renter… how did you know? why would...? thank you. i don’t deserve you it. thank you.

i’m not even gonna break down the pivotal buck likes (other than to remind anyone who’s still reading about I didn’t mean to out you. <- bdjdnd 💀). everything he says boils down to, i couldn’t stop myself from taking care of you if i tried. 

y’all remember buck introducing eddie to carla? remember that? that’s how it started and this ⬆️ is how it’s going. actually the facetime calls is how that’s going but i won’t get into that. 

conclusion/tldr: buck promised himself, before/around the time that he introduced eddie and carla to each other, that he’d always take care of eddie. because he can. because he wants to. and because it’s the natural, easy, obvious, damn near biologically imperative thing to do. the problem is that eddie doesn’t want to be taken care of. he’s convinced himself that he doesn’t need it or deserve it. so when buck waltzes in and says, lol lmfao rofl even. you’re lying to yourself. you do need someone to take care of you. you do deserve it. and i’m gonna do it whether you ask me to or not… well, that sets eddie on edge. buck is challenging a long held belief of his, a belief that he’s not ready to interrogate. so he finds a way to push back everytime buck brings attention to the self-effacing, self-sacrificing, self-critical, self-punishing elephant in his subconscious. and one of eddie’s go-tos when he’s pushing back is, this is about you, this is about your need to fix things but i don’t need fixing. and the way i see it, when eddie says, stop making this about you, he means, stop bringing attention to the fact that i might not be as self-sufficient as i believe myself to be.

also @atlasblue85 said something so bang on that i had to include it.

"it makes so much sense that Eddie says [that buck is making things about himself] as a self defense thing because he knows it's a way to get Buck to back off when he's feeling vulnerable and doesn't want to fully confront what he's actually dealing with"

👆⬆️ EXAACTTLY ‼️‼️‼️

[casualavocados]

...Nothing.

Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)

[estaticheart]

ᥫ᭡. THAT’S MY SISTER YOU BITCH

Summary: Despite Sarah and Rafe’s volatile relationship, that’s your sister.

Warnings: Violence, illusions to sex, swearing.

You had a great day so far. You'd woken up to Rafe in between your legs, waking you up in the best way possible before he made you both breakfast as you watched him from the island. Sometimes you just liked to ponder on how lucky you were to have a boyfriend like Rafe. To everyone else, you were far from lucky but you liked it that way- knowing only you got the real Rafe Cameron.

Now, you were on your way back from grocery shopping, planning to make Rafe a romantic meal when he arrived back from work. Blasting music from your car speakers, you were completely in the zone. Until you drove up to the City Hall, glancing ahead you saw Kelce's red truck, which you thought nothing of until you saw him and his idiotic friends surrounding John B and Sarah.

Alarmed, you pulled up next to the truck, gathering the attention of everyone. Despite being a kook yourself, you were far different from the rest of them. You didn't care about pogues, to you they were like anyone else, in fact often you preferred the pogues in the Outer Banks to the kooks. Rafe's circle exclusively consisted of kooks, meaning you often received a lot of respect from kooks even though you spent a lot of your time arguing with them. Rafe didn't mind it, you were his girlfriend and lover, so if you wanted to yell he wouldn't stop you.

"Problem?" You asked, slamming your car door shut behind you. Just as Sarah hit the ground. Immediately you rushed towards Sarah. Yeah, Rafe and Sarah had problems they needed to get past but to you, Sarah was still as important as she was 2 years ago. You were proud of her for finding her true love and true friends, and you always let her know that you would always be there for her. And this time was no exception. Putting two and two together, you saw Ruthie standing much closer to Sarah than the other kooks who looked at her in shock.

They all stood stunned at your arrival, to be honest, you were probably the worst possible person to show up at that exact moment. Everyone knew your opinions on the Pogues were far more empathetic than the other kooks. "No, no problem" Kelce muttered, beginning to pull Ruthie and the others back from Sarah and John B, to which they happily obliged. Not on your watch.

"Oh no, don't stop on my accord guys. Please whatever you were going to do next. Do it." Walking over to them, Ruthie stood stunned at your arrival. Since she started dating Topper, you got a lot of joy out of berating her, publically. For once, she didn't back down at your words. "She needs to watch herself. She pushed me first, it was self-defence." Ruthie said, glancing behind you to see John B pulling Sarah to her feet.

Snorting you replied, "Ruthie, I'm not Shoupe. Don't start pleading your case, I don't care." She stalled at your response, for a moment thinking that you were on her side for pushing Sarah before you pulled her back to reality. Walking closer to her, edgingly slow, you pressed, "You think you're all big and mighty for pushing Sarah? She's 19 Ruthie, you're what? 21? Don't you think you should play with someone your own size?"

Behind you, John B and Sarah smirked at the group. Unbeknownst to you, Sarah was pregnant and John B was far too occupied to make sure Sarah was okay than to pick a fight with Kelce and his goons today. But you happily would, and even better so because who was going to fight back against the kook princess? Definitely not these ones.

“Well?” You pushed, as you stood toe to toe with Ruthie. You were growing impatient, Rafe would have finished work by now meaning that soon he’d come looking for you- and you’d rather give Ruthie a good couple punches before Rafe showed up.

“Okay times up.” Before she could even think, your fist sent her backwards onto the floor, just how Sarah had been when when you arrived. Groaning, she lifted her hands to cover her nose, assumably bleeding- hopefully broken if Rafe’s self defence lessons had done some good. “Oh my god- I think you broke my nose. You bitch.” She shrieked, pulling her hands away to reveal blood beginning to pour from her nose.

Ruthie was nothing but a bully, a bully you’d had enough of tormenting the island. Your legs either side of her chest you crouched over her, “Don’t worry you still look just as bad as before.” You muttered as you flew your fist back into her face that she left unguarded. Idiot. Her screaming began again, as you moved off from her, deciding that your two punches had done enough damage. Wow, you’d really have to thank Rafe for those lessons.

“Just wait until Topper hears about this, he will deal with you.” One of the other kooks muttered from behind Kelce. “Yeah I’m sure Topper will be sure to deal with me.” You laughed, Topper wouldn’t touch a hair on your arm as long as you were dating Rafe- everyone knew that.

“You want to fuck with someone, not Sarah.” You spat at them, watching Ruthie sadly pull herself to her feet, with the help of no one. “That’s my sister you bitch. Now fuck off.” At your command, Kelce briskly walked back over to his truck, as the others followed just as fast, allowing you to turn back to John B and Sarah.

You were greeted to their smiling faces, both as grateful as each other. But you noticed, a twinge of emotion still lingering on Sarah’s face. Hearing you call her your sister in combination with her pregnancy hormones, was due to set her off to cry. Before she could get out any words, you spoke for her. “You are my sister regardless of whatever is going on between you and Rafe. You’re family.” Turning to John B, you continued, “That extends to you, hubby.” You winked looking down at the ring on his finger.

With a red blush covering their faces, they praised you in thank yous. “Don’t need to thank me for doing something I’ve been wanting to do for months.” Glancing back to see the red truck had disappeared.

“Now, you can thank me for warning you that Rafe will be here any minute and I’m not sure you want to see him.”

—————————

“Baby, please be more careful next time.” Rafe muttered, as he wrapped your knuckles in bandages. He was more than shocked to find you outside the city hall- alone- but with bloody knuckles. Only with the explanation, that you had an altercation with Ruthie, surprisingly over Sarah. He was confused to say the least, he wasn’t even aware that Ruthie had a problem with his little sister. But the more he thought about it, of course she did- Topper still hadn’t gotten over her.

“In fact, there will be no next time. Ever.” Kissing your knuckles, he pulled you onto his chest as he lied back on your shared king bed. Stroking your hair, he let his mind wonder. Should he have been there to protect Sarah? But they hadn’t had a good relationship in years, he couldn’t just suddenly start caring for her. He also couldn’t let you get into situations that could get you hurt over protecting Sarah.

You noticed his body still and you knew instantly his mind was wondering thinking about Sarah. Without moving your head from his chest you spoke, “Rafe. I love Sarah. I know you have a difficult relationship at the moment and whilst you can’t protect her I will.” Letting the silence sit between you for a moment, you decided to continue.

“She’s our only family, Rafe.” He didn’t move, but you both knew how right you were. She was all you had left. “I know baby, I know.” He whispered, laying a kiss on the top of your head, before he let his mind slip back into imagining how he can rectify this broken relationship with his sister.

[parfaitblogs]

persimmon ❀ s. reid x reader

in which you wake up to your first morning on your honeymoon. 

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: smut (18+ mdni) tags: oral (f receiving). praise. he loves you you love him!!! newlyweds. word count: 1.2k a/n: couldn't tell you where the fuck this came from tbh. very short + very simple little thing i wrote instead of doing assignments after seeing a tweet about persimmons :)

You were beautiful. Maddeningly. Iridescent, as sunlight reflects off your skin and golds the room in which you lay with him. Gentle breaths that lift and deflate your chest evenly, bringing you closer to him, ripping you away soon after. He ached to hold you closer. To the point of your chest never cutting contact with his own. He knew better; knew to let you sleep.

The things he feels for you seem too demanding for a human being. Too overwhelming. How can one man hold so much adoration for another person? His heart was always so full when he woke up like this; before you did.

Things were more beautiful today, though. The ring around your finger, for you had refused to take it off despite his efforts, sparkled amongst crinkled white sheets. Legs entangled with his own, skin resting against skin, warm enough to provide an enormous amount of comfort. 

Never one to curse unnecessarily, Spencer Reid was. Yet, all his thoughts were consumed with, fuck you were beautiful. 

It seemed too inconsequential of a word to describe you. Every word did. A thousand adjectives and he would still believe he's not loving you as much as you deserve. 

You stir, and his entire bloodstream burns. He couldn't count on his hands how many times he had watched you wake up in the morning, but this morning was so special, and before you had even fully fluttered your eyes open, he was kissing you. Gently, for he wanted to take his time with you. 

You're smiling. He can feel your lips stretch against his, and he's proud to have enough self restraint to pull away from you so he could see it. He's sure the sun could develop a rivalry with you when you were this happy. 

"Good morning," you murmur, a little breathless from the half asleep kiss you were still trying to recover from, "husband."

He relishes in the way the word leaves your lips, and it takes a considerable amount of strength to not kiss you once more. Though, he wants to. Desperately. 

Then again, he wishes to do a lot of things this morning. So many different activities he yearns for (many of them not very appropriate, if he's honest), and he is quite content to cancel the schedule you had developed for today to complete them. 

He knows better than to do that unprompted. So, he asks, "How much time in bed do we have?"

Perhaps it was the way he looks at you while he's above you, hair falling down and gently tickling your face from how close he was. Perhaps it was your own personal desires seeping into your strong willed mind. Whatever it was, you were probably on the same wavelength as him, and you were discarding whatever else you wanted to do that day. 

"As much as we want," you reply, and it's a shit-eating grin on his face that promises you a good morning. 

"Thank God."

Never one to be religious, you know he's wanton if he's thanking a figure he doesn't believe in. You bite down a remark about it. 

Amongst all the doctorates he had attached to his name, you were sure worshipping your body had to be one of them. For the way he kisses down your body is practised, and it is a trail of flames he leaves on your skin. Benign kisses on every patch of skin he can find, paying extra attention to the pulse point on your neck that drags whimpers from your lips. 

Fingers find your thighs to push them apart, hands sliding up and down the skin and encouraging goosebumps to lift. He is breathless as he laughs at you, but then he is pressing kisses into your hip bones, and you truly forget how to argue with him. 

"I love you," he says, lifting his gaze up to you, breath warm against your skin, all whilst his head lowers further down your body. He presses a kiss to each thigh, repeating the adoring phrase in between. 

Wasting no time to put his lips on you, he's teasing with his tongue licking a stripe up the centre of your folds, before he's attaching them to your clit. 

He probably mumbles something about how good you taste, as he usually does, but you're too overwhelmed already to actually register the words. For you had been inside the cabin David Rossi had gotten the two of you less than twelve hours, and he had drawn four orgasms from you already. Something about spending your honeymoon loving you in every way he can. 

You're writhing beneath him already, and he's sure if he focusses any more on that, he'd lose his mind. His tongue flicking over your clit elicits more moans from you, and the broken sound of your voice. 

"Spenc—er—oh," your head digs into the pillow beneath it, back arching. "Please."

Usually, he would force your hips back to the mattress, and he would concern himself with keeping you still. Then again, usually, you aren't this sensitive. He lets you lift yourself off the mattress, though he moves with you, and you're provided no respite from his mouth.

He's never once eaten you out with this much tranquility; he likes to devour you like you are his first meal in months. But today, he is taking his time, and he is dragging out every quiet moan and cry from your throat that he possibly can. 

Persimmons can sometimes be so incredibly tender they split themselves open. The osmotic pressure that is built up by the sugar tends to cause the skin to burst. When he touches you like this, you consider whether or not you are but a tender persimmon, splitting under the duress of how good he feels. 

"My beautiful girl," he breathes out against you, and God if you believe nothing else in this world, let it be how much this man loves you. 

His hand reaches up to find your left hand, interlacing your fingers with his own and bringing them both down to your stomach, where he finally pushes you back down onto the mattress. 

You are too tired to even warn him, but your moaning becomes incessant, and your fingers are digging into the knuckles of his hand within your own. You're sure you don't need to say anything.

He coaxes you through your orgasm, obscene praise leaving his lips every chance he gets, his eyes so fixated on your face you can feel it, even through your now closed eyelids. 

He's pulling away and kissing his way back up your body, each kiss more drawn out than the last, until he's got his lips back on your own, and he's swallowing the gentle moan that leaves your lips. 

"I love you," you finally murmur, and he pulls back to bury his face into the crook of your neck, kissing the skin there so delicately you wonder if you could fall apart all over again, for an entirely different reason. 

"I love you," he punctuates his words with his hand squeezing your own, which he still had interlaced with his. 

"Can I cut our bed time short for a shower?" you ask him, quietly. 

"Mm," he considers it, or pretends to, hair tickling your jawline. "No, I'm not done with you here yet."

"You're insatiable."

You squirm when he nips at your neck. "You married me."

He pulls back to look at you, eyes sparkling, and you breathe out a quiet huff of amused laughter. 

"Yeah, I did."

your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡

[nativegirltapes]

pairing: toxic!rafe x bubbly!kook!reader

you and rafe always took 'breaks', but they never lasted. when he asked you to meet him in the middle of the night you could never say no.

you and rafe had been on your longest break yet, going on 3 weeks. and you couldn't lie, you'd been doing really good without him. but you missed him, a lot.

you didn't know why you missed him so much, it was almost like a drug you just couldn't live without despite knowing you're better off without it.

2AM, sitting in your room, music blasting through your earbuds, paging through your favorite clothing catalog; you felt your phone vibrate right next to you. thinking it was pope; the cute pogue you had recently befriended and been texting, you had a slight smile on your face.

that smile faded when you realized it was indeed not pope, but rafe. of course from some random number because you blocked him on his own.

252-###-### - It's me. Can we talk? Meet at tanneyhill in 15? PLS. I love you.

you sighed, partly of self disappointment because you knew you were going to do exactly what he wanted. but also partly from relief, this being you and rafe's longest break, you wondered what had been keeping him so busy from trying to reach out to you. on previous breaks he'd be begging to see you a few days in.

⊹ ۪ ࣪ ꒰ 🍰 . .

rafe was sat on the front steps of tanneyhill, he looked stressed and upset, but really when wasn't he?

"hey," you said softly, standing in front of him, not wanting to get too close.

"hey." he looked up at you. "thanks for coming."

"yeah." your voice was full of shame. it was embarrassing how you couldn't say no to rafe. you liked to rationalize your embarrassment by convincing yourself that you were doing this for him, that he needed you and how could you say no to someone who needed you? but no, you knew deep down your relationship with rafe was self-inflicted and self indulgent. if you tried hard enough you could say no, but the thing was that you just really didn't want to. and that was the most embarrassing part.

you liked getting treated like you were everything one day, and nothing the next. the feelings rafe made you feel were ones close enough to addiction. the highs were so high, but the lows were low.

rafe patted his lap, signaling for you to come take a seat on his lap. of course you did. "i missed you," rafe placed his hand on your inner thigh.

"missed you too rafe." you were basically now bridal style in his lap, ass on one of his thighs, your legs propped up on the other, and your ams wrapped around his neck. you missed being held like this.

"yeah? how much you miss me?" he had a smirk on his face while looking at you. god he looked so good. you hated how good he always looked.

"i dont know," you giggled softly, "a lot."

"heard you been talking to that pogue," rafe looked into the distance, you could tell he was trying his best to remain calm. "what's his name? pope."

you were confused as to how he would even know that, but to be honest it was probably best you didn't know. "just texting." you immediately defend yourself. "just friendly."

"friendly huh?" rafe scoffs. "do y'know how many guys would love to be 'just friendly' with you?"

"really rafe?" you dropped your legs from his lap. only rafe would invite you over to resolve things just to start another argument.

just as you were about to get up from his lap, he pulled you back down onto it. "cmon don't leave now," rafe moved your hair to the side, leaving the side of your neck that was closest to him on full display. "was just teasin'." his hot breath on your neck sent shivers down your spine.

“i don’t want to be teased.” you sighed under your breath.

“what do you want?”

“i want you to love me.” a singular tear fell down your face, rafe immediately wiping it.

“i do love you,” rafe’s voice was soft in a way you’d never heard before. “i love you more than,” you could tell he was really trying to pick his next words wisely. “i love you more than everything.” rafe kissed you on the cheek, his wet lips colliding with your wet tears.

and maybe that was also half the reason you couldn’t leave rafe. you knew that deep down aside from all the bad things he’s done to you; he has real love in his heart, he just doesn’t know how to show it.

[kikis-writing-service]

Can't stop thinking about Katsuki having a history of failed relationships. It's never difficult for him to attract people. They fall for him easily—drawn to his looks, his unflinching honesty, his blunt approach to everything. "It's refreshing," they always say. "It's so rare to find someone who won't lie to you."

His hero ranking certainly doesn't hurt either. People are naturally attracted to power and success, and Katsuki has both in spades. They love telling their friends they're dating one of the top pro heroes, enjoying the status that comes with the association.

Initially, they appreciate his attentiveness—how he notices details about them, remembers their preferences without being told twice. They admire his passion; the way he gives everything to his hero work extends to his relationships too. Katsuki doesn't know how to be halfway committed. He puts his entire self into whatever he does.

That's always how it begins, but it never lasts.

All those traits his partners once praised become what they resent. His honesty? Now it's "too harsh," "too cutting." They ask him to tone it down, to not be so blunt all the time. "You don't have to be so honest about everything. Sometimes small lies are better."

His attention to detail becomes irritating, especially during arguments. "Why do you have to remember everything?" they complain. "You're being petty. Focusing on things that don't matter." They grow to resent how he remembers every word they've said.

His passion, once exhilarating, now "suffocates" them. "I need space," they say. "You're too intense." As if he knows how to be anything else.

"If you're not going to give it your all, what's the fucking point?" he asks. They never have a good answer for that.

The first few breakups, Katsuki fights back. He tries to compromise, catching himself before saying something particularly harsh, attempting to filter his thoughts. But it feels like a betrayal of himself, like he's putting on an act. Inevitably, in moments of stress or fatigue, the filter slips and his full personality comes roaring back. The disappointment in their eyes hurts him more than he'd ever admit.

"This is exactly who you fell for," he reminds them, voice rising with frustration. "You don't get to act surprised now."

After enough repetitions of this cycle, he stops fighting. When they break up with him, he simply nods, jaw tight. "Good riddance," he mutters, though something cracks inside him each time.

Sometimes he wonders if Deku and the others have it easier. Deku with his endless empathy, or Kirishima with his straightforward warmth. People don't seem to tire of them the way they tire of Katsuki. Maybe he's just fundamentally too difficult to love long-term. The thought pisses him off, but he can't dismiss the evidence: a string of relationships, all ending the same way.

So he gives up on relationships entirely. "They're a waste of time," he tells anyone who asks. But deep down, he longs to come home to someone.

And then he meets you.

You're different, though not in any dramatic, obvious way. You're just as straightforward as he is. You commit fully to everything that matters to you. You take his words at face value, never searching for hidden meanings that aren't there.

The first time he snaps at you in public—a sharp, caustic comment that would make others flinch—you just laugh and snap right back with equal force. No hurt feelings, no wounded looks. Just acceptance that this is part of the conversation.

He notices how you don't pull away when he gets worked up about something trivial. Instead, you match his energy. He finds himself waiting for the moment your expression changes, for the familiar look of exhaustion to creep in. But it never comes.

He’s sworn off relationships, but he feels himself falling. And it terrifies him so he fights against it.

Sometimes, when these thoughts overwhelm him, he'll pick a fight or pull away, testing the boundaries of your patience. Waiting for the inevitable moment when you realize he's too much work, too difficult, too Katsuki.

But you handle it without flinching. You don't try to change him or tell him he's too much. You accept that this is just how Katsuki is. Your acceptance only deepens his fear.

And it's because you're different that he can't bring himself to hope for a future with you.

He's dealt with losing people before. He's recovered from those breakups and moved on. But losing you? He's not sure he could survive that.

But so far, you're still here. And each day you stay makes the prospect of you leaving all the more unbearable.

[paulyenvol6]

Kisses and Tea

Very soft and sweet Joel taking care of you because you're sick. Enjoy :)

Shoutout to @mrspascalsworld and I hope you're gonna feel better soon <3

Contains: fluff, domestic Joel, established relationship, implied age gap because why not, pet names (babygirl, honey, sweetheart), Joel being the nicest and softest grumpy old man in the world

Wordcount: 3,275

Masterlist

The sun was shining through the window creating beautiful flickering patterns on the wooden floor and bedsheet but you couldn't get up.

You had already felt it the night before when you had helplessly tried to get some sleep, turning from one side to the other without finding escape. Your nose had been stuffy which had made you unable to breathe properly, your throat sore and your eyes teary.

Now, the next morning it was even worse. Your view was blurry, your limbs aching and now there was the additional throbbing in your head that didn't allow you to think straight. You wanted to die. You wanted to go back to sleep and drift away until your body had beaten the cold but of course your brain didn't fulfil your wish and despite feeling exhausted you couldn't doze off again.

With great effort you turned on your other side again hoping that the position was more comfortable for your body but the opposite was the case and now your shoulder hurt as well. A muffled cry escaped your lips, your body shivering although you were covered with two blankets and your head burning like fire making sweat drool on your forehead. There was no way you could get up now.

Your stomach was roaring with hunger but you didn't have any appetite and the same was the case with your throat. It craved lubrication, a hot tea preferably, but the thought of anything flowing down your throat made you want to throw up.

With a long whine you pressed your face into the cushions feeling saliva drip onto the pillow but you didn't care. You didn't care about anything apart from the pain in your body and that was why you didn't notice the door opening.

"Honey?" Joel asked, concern clearly showing in his voice.

You swayed your head side to side to gesture him that you weren't able to answer, let alone get up but then felt a large hand on the small of your back.

"What's wrong, babygirl? You sick?"

The back of your head moved, a lazy nod telling him all he needed to know and the next thing you felt was his mouth kissing the top of your head.

'I'm all sweaty,' you wanted to say and push him away but once again, the thought of opening your mouth disgusted you and perhaps it was for the better because Joel's hands were so tender and careful as he stroked your back that you didn't want them to leave your body if you were being honest.

"I'm so sorry, baby," he whispered, his hand touching your left and right shoulderblade in turns while his other combed through your hair. "You think you can turn around? Lemme have a look at you."

You unwillingly shook your head but actually moved over, eyes blinking a few times as you took in his soft features. His expression was serious, marked by real concern about you and his eyes lovingly darted at you with the craving to somehow help you.

"Oh babygirl…," he whispered but didn't touch which you were thankful for in this moment because you felt so gross and disgusting that you didn't want anyone near you, even if it was your beloved Joel.

Seeing his soft eyes upon you pulled you even deeper into this drowsy self-pity, evoking a pout on your lips and your chin twitching with surpressed cries.

"I'm gonna make you a tea. And soup if you like. I know you might not feel hungry right now, but I'm gonna do it anyway so if you want anythin' later you won't have to wait."

You wanted to protest, tell him that the mere thought of food made your stomach tremble with refusal but for a start, what he had said sounded reasonable and also, you couldn't even speak up, even if you had wanted to.

"It's alright," Joel soothed you squeezing your weak and pale hand softly and trailing his thumb over the back of it. "I'mma take care of you and then you'll feel better soon. I promise. You just try 'n relax and maybe get an hour or two of sleep."

Frustration swept over you at his words and you shook your head over and over again.

"Can't sleep…," you managed to breathe, throat stinging at this slightest attempt and you instantly had to hold back the tears gathering in the corner of your eyes.

"Oh sweetheart…," Joel whispered and brought his hand to your forehead to feel the radiating heat. "You caught yourself a nasty cold."

The pout on your lips intensed, eyes angrily flashing at him as you pulled your hand away from him.

"Not my fault," you said quietly and crossed your arms in front of your chest.

"I know s'not. I don't blame you, honey, but now we should do everything so you're gonna feel better soon, mhm? How about I really hurry up making you a tea and some soup and then I'll get you to the couch and we can watch a movie. You can choose which one."

This aggressive and furious heat that had been setteling in your heart ever since last night wanted to take over and reply with an angry complain but once you thought about it, his plan actually sounded quite nice so you swallowed it and nodded avoiding his gaze.

"Good. I'll be right back, okay? I'll look after you while I'm making you soup but I'll have to leave you alone for a minute or two, okay?"

Joel climbed off the bed watching you with lifted eyebrows and you nodded again. Once he had left the room, door open so he could hear you in case you needed something, you shut your eyes trying to defeat the throbbing pain in your head but no matter what you tried, nothing seemed to help.

Although the rational side of your brain knew that it wasn't true, you somehow felt like Joel actually was the only person who could do something about your discomfort. Perhaps it was because he managed to fix anything. Whether it was the car, the tap or your emotional outbursts when something wasn't going the way you wanted it. He was there for you, patiently sitting through your crying sessions and embracing you in a firm hug once you felt ready to. What was a little cold compared to the dimensions of your worst kinds of outbreaks on particularly bad days?

You gulped, face drawing with pain and then tried to distract you by thinking about Joel and all the things he did for you in order to comfort you and make your life a little easier. It turned out to be peaceful and beautiful activity and yet you didn't manage to fall asleep and immediately opened your eyes when a weight sank down on the mattress right next to you.

You hadn't noticed him peaking into the room every now and then the past minutes and only now smelled the intense scent of vegetable wafting through the house filling your senses and making your insides turn.

"M'not hungry," you defiantly claimed but Joel gave you the hint of a smile and nodded knowingly.

"S'okay. You don't need to eat if you don't want to. But you want me to carry you to the couch now? To watch a movie?"

Joel reacted to your nod by pushing back the blankets and then sliding one arm underneath your knees and the other around your shoulder. You crouched against him, enjoying the way he effortlessly picked you up and savoring the love and solicitude he showered you with. Joel obviously saw it as well, a gentle smile passing over his face as he tightened his grip around your body to securely bring you into the living room and then lying you down on the couch.

Once your back hit the cushions your hands immediately outstretched towards him, yearning for his warmth close to your body but Joel carefully removed your hands that were picking at his sleeves and hushed your desperate whine by caressing your cheek.

"Shhh. I'll be right there. Just gonna get the tea from the kitchen."

Joel ignored your disappointed and sulky hum, rushing through the kitchen door and putting down a hot cup of tea on the couch table a few seconds later. Your swollen tired eyes lazily watched the steam creating beautiful forms in the air almost like deep clouds of veil and when Joel placed his large heated hands on your waist to adjust your body against his a shiver skated down your spine, heart fluttering with the need to be embraced.

And as if the two of you were speaking a secret silent language, Joel knew exactly what to do and where to hold you as he pulled you towards him so your back was snug against his chest. You settled between his legs, head dropping to his shoulder and soon the goosebumps on your arms were replaced by a lingering warmth igniting your nerves.

His fingers traced lazy circles over your waist that was covered by two layers of thick cotton but the gesture was what counted and you closed your eyes, feeling much better all of a sudden. Of course your body still hurt, you couldn't breathe through your nose and your headache hadn't subsided neither but just like always, Joel managed to calm you by holding you close to him, his presence wrapping around you like a warm blanket.

Speaking of blankets, he had reached behind him and conjured up your favourite one, which he now laid on top of you and adjusted, tucking the ends under his legs , so the cold air didn't have a chance to creep up on you. Only then did you hear his voice again, snuggling your face against him as you felt his hot breath brushing over your ear.

"You need anythin' else? And is this comfortable for you?"

"S'good," you whispered sliding down a little so that your head could nestle against his nape.

"Okay. What movie do you wanna watch? Or would you rather try to sleep? M'just sayin', now is the best time for you to force me to watch some crappy movie with ya."

He chuckled lowly and although you couldn't join in, your heart felt light at the sound, a peaceful glow settling under your skin.

"Pirates of the Caribbean," you said on the spur of the moment which made Joel narrow his eyes and look at your profile with suspicion.

"That ain't a crappy movie. Unless you're about to say part four or five."

You shook your head, a careful smile lingering on your lips that he returned with relief because seeing you happy was his life's purpose; it was that simple.

"I think part 2," you whispered after thinking about it for a brief moment.

Joel nodded reaching for the remote control and you closed your eyes again while he began tapping various buttons to play the movie of your wishes. You opened your left eye when you heard the familiar intro music and settled comfortably against Joel's broad chest, his touch on your arms light and soft as a silk cloth.

"If you wanna fall asleep, do it, alright? I'll stay here with you, I promise. And tell me if you need anythin'."

You nodded, tears of joy and love wettening your eyes but you were able to blink them away, not feeling like this was a good moment to bawl your eyes out. Instead you stared ahead at the TV and the content of one of your favourite movies of all time along with Joel's body hugging and cuddling you so beautifully actually made you forget your runny nose and burning throat for a while.

~~~~~~~~~~

At first, you didn't know what woke you up. At first you didn't know where you were either. But then you inhaled and felt the air restriction, moaning in discomfort as you sat up slightly.

"Hi babygirl," Joel soothed you, a hand gently rubbing over your shoulder.

"How long have I been asleep?" you asked referring to the black screen in front of you.

"I don't really know when you fell asleep. But I think around 2 or 3 hours at least."

You sniffed, turning your body to the side so your cheek rested against his chest as your hands wandered up to grab his arm.

"Can I have some tea?" you whispered, finally craving for something hot to defeat the burning sting in your throat but moaning as you felt Joel's body stretch towards the couch table.

"Don't worry, m'not gonna leave," he assured you and actually sat back against the armrest holding the cup in his hand.

You narrowed your eyes and were just about to ask about the tea not being hot anymore when Joel ran a hand over your side, carefully pushing you to rest against him again.

"Shhh, it's okay. I made you new tea while you were asleep."

"So you left?" you complained with your croaked voice which made Joel lift his eyebrows at you and you tilted your head, dropping your gaze.

"Thank you," you eventually mumbled and took the cup from his hand.

"You're welcome. By the way, the movie really is good. I can't believe it's your favourite movie 'cause I mean… there are so many awesome ones but it's good."

You carefully took a sip so you wouldn't burn your tongue and then leaned back again watching him upside down.

"We're gonna have to watch it again soon because I honestly can't remember anything. I think I must've fallen asleep during the first 30 minutes."

Joel grinned and then connected his lips to your forehead ignoring your sweaty glowy skin and the fact that you were sick and kissing you like he had the most precious and delicate thing in his arms.

"What do you wanna do now?" he whispered brushing with his pursed lips over the area behind your ear and running his hands through your hair.

"I don't know. What's the time?"

"It's 4 pm," Joel answered and you drew your face thoughtfully.

"Can we… watch something else?" you asked not really feeling like doing anything except resting and perhaps falling asleep again so you believed that a movie or a TV show was the best way to distract yourself and give your body the chance to recover.

"Sure. But you need to eat something, sweetheart. I can cook you whatever you want."

You turned in his grasp sniffing a couple of times while you trailed your hands up his arms which then came to a stop at his shoulders.

"Okay. I think I would like some soup."

Agreeing to his demand was already worth it just for the wide smile on his face that you returned but was shortly after wiped off as Joel carefully moved under you to get off the couch.

"Noooo," you complained reaching for him but he just gave you a pitiful look grabbing your hand but releasing it after giving it a firm squeeze.

"I'll be right back," he promised you with a wink of his eye that made your insides dance and your face was still flushed long after he was gone, busy warming up your soup in the kitchen.

When Joel returned you sat cross-legged on the couch searching the TV for a show that you felt like watching but took your eyes off the screen when he put a bowl on the table.

"Thank you, Joel," you said, heart pounding when he sat down next to you.

Words couldn't describe how much you loved him and it was days like this that made you once again see why. He was there for you with no restrictions or conditions. You loved him and he loved you and no matter what life threw at you, you felt like you would be able to go through it with this amazing precious man by your side. He cared for you like no one else ever had and you surely wouldn't let him go any time soon.

"No problem," he said watching you precisely as you grabbed the bowl. "You found somethin' you wanna watch?"

"We could watch an episode of friends," you proposed blowing some air on the boiling liquid, observing him under your lashes. In response Joel grimaced tilting his head but you gave him your biggest puppy eyes dramatically coughing in your arm.

"Friends... Really?" he sighed, making himself comfortable on the couch and resting one arm on the backrest.

"Pretty please?" you pleaded although you knew you had already won.

"Fine. Whatever. You're sick, you get to choose."

You giggled and sat back as well, holding your soup in one hand while taking the first spoon.

"Even though I'm not so sure about you bein' so sick right now…," he added but you furrowed your eyebrows and demonstratively inhaled so he would hear how stuffy your nose was.

"I am. Just listen to my voice."

"I know, I know. I was playing. Just eat your food."

Joel took the remote control out of your hand and scrolled through the episodes.

"Which one do you wanna watch?" he wanted to know, and you stared at the screen for a second, your eyes reading the titles of the different episodes before you put your hand on his.

"That one. I think you might like it. I feel like… Yeah, I have a good feeling about that one."

Joel rolled his eyes as he started the episode while adjusting himself behind you again.

"Don't talk so much. S'not good for your throat."

You had to smirk but listened to what he had said and kept your mouth shut, instead focusing on eating the soup that, you had to admit, really was good.

~~~~~~~~~~

This time you stayed awake through the episode which was why you didn't stop after that but watched more. It was almost 7 pm when you had to yawn open-mouthedly which made Joel glance at you.

"You wanna go to bed?" he asked and you thankfully exhaled.

"I think so. I'm really tired." Joel nodded in understanding and then helped you to pull back the blanket so you could get up from the couch.

It made you smile to think of his reaction to the episodes you had watched, because although he tried to hide it, there had been moments when he had clearly laughed at some stupid joke, and you had found it incredibly cute how quickly he had tried to collect himself each time, too proud to admit the fun he was having.

Joel didn't notice it, focusing on helping you up and then bringing you to your shared bedroom. Once there he pulled back the blanket for you to crawl under and then tucked you in, watching you with the softest and kindest puppy eyes you had ever seen in your entire life.

"You good?" he whispered caressing your cheek with his large hand.

"Yes," you replied and pressed yourself firmly against his rough, yet tender skin.

"Okay. Get some sleep now. I'm gonna go do the dishes but I'll join you soon, alright?"

You had your eyes closed as you nodded slowly, your thoughts already drifting away.

"Okay."

He kissed your brow, then straightening up and watching you one last time before turning around. It was the quiet "Joel?" that made him freeze when he already had the door handle in his hand.

"Yes?"

His dark eyes fell upon your face again, almost worried that something was bothering you.

"Thank you," you whispered and his sharp features softened up.

"You're welcome, babygirl. I love you."

Then he finally stepped out of the room, eyes and limbs tired, but an infinite love and satisfaction with the world filling him up to the brim.

[vevobly]

Yellowjackets Friends With Benefits Headcanons! [Pre-crash] (1)

A/N: I wrote this with female reader in mind, so I apologize in advance for those who wanted it to be vague and up to your interpretation! This is sort of an AU since Jeff is Jackie's ex here.

Jackie Taylor:

Aside from the fact that Jeff was terrible in bed, Jackie would absolutely love the arrangement you two have. Unlike him, you actually manage to make her feel the real thing. Honestly, If it weren't for the fact you're a girl, Jackie might have just dated you instead. Still, that doesn't stop the golden girl from feeling something for you. You treat her better than Jeff or any of the other guys she's dated ever did. And you're not even her lover—just a friend she hooks up with from time to time!

To Jackie, it’s all just a game where she holds the upper hand. To her, it’s casual—nothing more, nothing less. Until it isn’t, and she finds herself craving more than what you both agreed to initially. She starts flirting with you constantly, literally flaring up with jealousy anytime someone else so much as looks at you. You're practically hers with how glued she is to your side. Despite the boundaries you set up, Jackie wants you guys together. She wants something official, something real.

"So, are you seeing anyone else? Not that I care or anything, just curious."

Shauna Shipman:

All is well until it isn't. Shauna doesn't know when or how it happened, but she fell for you. While she DID agree to keep things casual with you, she's quickly regretting it after discovering she wants more than what this stupid arrangement you guys have with each other originally entailed. Jackie never really looked at her the way you did, and let's be honest—Jeff only looked at her when she didn't look at him. But you? You, on the other hand, look at her and actually see her for her.

It’s no surprise to Shauna that she fell for you. You are you. And while she does try her best to keep things as they are, she can't help but wonder. Did you want more with her or was she just reading too much into it? Shauna doesn't know what to do. She's trying everything to separate her feelings from you and the arrangement you guys have, but it's not working. Shauna wants you, she wants all of you to her.

"I mean, it's fine if it's just fun. Totally fine."

Taissa Turner:

Tai really prides herself on her self-control. So imagine her utter surprise with herself when she realized she wanted more than the things you guys agreed on in your arrangement. Baffled, even more so with the context of your relationship with each other. Immediately, she's putting her feelings for you to the side. What you guys have is an arrangement, something mutually beneficial to both of you. It's that, and nothing else more.

But dammit, the heart wants what it wants. And while Tai does want you, she's not gonna go ahead and push her own desires onto you. Not unless you wanted to, of course. Tai is very respectful towards the boundaries you guys set up, but that doesn't stop her from being protective of you. Protectiveness, which starts being a little more like possessiveness over time, especially when someone else than her hopes to catch your attention.

"As long as we’re both on the same page, this can work. But if it gets complicated, let’s talk."

Van Palmer:

Van, out of all the girls, would be the most laid back about it. Sure, she'd love to be more than what you are now, but she's going to push unless you want that too. That doesn't mean it's easy for her though, especially when you're doing things far beyond what friends should typically do. She can't help but want more than just to be your friend. Still, Van refuses to make things messier by letting her feelings complicate the situation. She'd rather keep things as they are than lose you.

To cope with her whole situationship with you, Van jokes every once in a while about your arrangement with each other. And while she says it with laughter usually, you can't help but feel like there's a sad undertone to it. Yeah, she's all big smiles and laughing about it, but there's always this sad look in her eyes when she jokes about what you guys have. What she is to you, and what you are to her. But you don't know, maybe you're just reading too much into it.

"So, what do we call this? Friends with benefits? Or... close gal pals?"

Natalie Scatorccio:

Natalie fully knows that what you guys have is an arrangement, a deal you both agreed on for your own benefit. Yet, she can't help thinking about it as more than just that. Yeah, she acts like the whole thing doesn't mean much jackshit to her, but deep down? It means more than anything. Nat wouldn't fully admit to herself, much less to anyone else, but despite the fact you both aren't dating each other. Hooking up with someone else than you feels like cheating on you.

It's those kinds of thoughts that make Natalie come to a realization of what exactly she feels for you—love. Fuck, as if life hasn't screwed her too much already, she just had to go ahead and fall for you. She tries everything she can to keep things the same but fails. When she can't do that, she starts doing her moves. It's all subtle to her, at least. But others? No. Natalie does anything for you without a second thought, she doesn't expect you to return the favor but still.. she's hoping.

"We're just having fun, right? No need to overthink it."

Lottie Matthews:

Although Lottie did agree on this whole arrangement with you, it hasn't been doing much other than causing a real stir within her. Yes, this whole thing is meant to be casual. And it is casual. For you, at least. For Lottie? It isn't. Despite the whole fuss you guys made about not doing anything with each other outside of this—Lottie wants to kiss you, she wants to hold your hand, whisper sweet nothings to your ears, and explore your body with love. Not lust, or for pleasure.

Lottie is aware of what she feels for you quickly. And at first, she thinks about breaking it up with you. But Lottie wants you, she needs you. And so, instead of doing that, she decides to keep up this arrangement with you. Whether it's intentional or not, Lottie starts dragging intimate things into what you guys have. She takes you out for dinner, you guys talk for hours, until she's taking you home then kissing you goodbye on the cheek—it's those that bring Lottie to realize she loves you.

“I'm okay with this. I'm okay with you, and I'm okay.. with us.”

Laura Lee:

Laura Lee feels torn about what’s going on between you two—not because you’re a girl. No, that's never been an issue for her. But because to her, sex is something sacred and this feels like it goes against everything she believes in. Still, her feelings for you are so strong that she convinces herself it doesn’t matter. It works for a while. Things between you seem perfect, until you're leaning in to kiss her and she finds herself wanting you. No, needing you wholly. Kissing you softly for an eternity.

Laura Lee is lost as to what she should do. So she does what she does best when she's lost, she prays. She asks for guidance about this arrangement you guys have with each other, hoping for some clarity on whether this whole thing that you both agreed and went fully board on with was a good choice or not in the end. Like the rest of the girls, she tries her best to keep it as the way it is. But it's hard to do that when you're looking at her like she put the stars up in the skies, and made the world shine much brighter at night.

“I just think we should… talk about where this is going. For both of our sakes.”

Misty Quigley:

Misty would throw herself into this arrangement with you in full enthusiasm. Depending on how much she valued and liked you, she would see this whole thing you guys got on going as some sort of sign about how close you guys are to one another and so. And knowing Misty? You bet your ass that this girl will have trouble keeping things casual with you because despite what you guys agreed on and what she said in response to it, she's growing increasingly attached to you.

Misty being Misty would go above and beyond just to please you. Crossing a bunch of your boundaries from every once in a while just because of it and her own eagerness to keep you close around her. Whether you talked to her or not about keeping this whole thing just the way it is and nothing else more, she would still pursue you. The girl will tell you that she's fine with this arrangement going nowhere else while basically contradicting her words by her own very actions.

“I just think we’re really great together, don’t you? Like, we could be even more, but... no pressure!”

[writting-stuff-sometimes]

Night in Vegas- Lando x fem reader

Summary: Y/N had been Lando's PR, it had been messy and she moved to Red Bull, but maybe things were not as bad as she thought.

Warnings: Abusive Max (Sorry someone had to be the bad guy) smutty ending.

Notes: No hate to anyone this story just needed a villain.

___________________________________________

The moment the job offer came from Red Bull you didn't think it twice. You had been Lando's PR for the last 2 years, which was kind of a nightmare. He had the worst cases of verbal diarrhea, not that Max didn't but the paycheck was worth the extra work. Also, the interactions with Lando had always been weird and uncomfortable.

He was so nice and funny around everyone else but you, whenever it was just you two, you could hear the grass grow. In the beginning, you tried to get to know him, create somewhat of a bond so you could understand him better and work around that info, but every time you tried to get him to tell you something about him he would shut you out, keeping his answers short and dry.

And here you were, your first six months as Max PR agent were...interesting, he was a master in driving but thanks to his dad and the people around him, his public image was a challenge, a challenge you loved to work, at least you did until he started showing his real self. It began with small tantrums, mood swings when an interview had been scheduled when he had agreed to go play paddle, or that one time on a bad day when a reporter asked him about his dad's history with the law even when you had precisely warned them not to ask about any of that.

But that was all fun and games until tonight's event for the Vegas GP. Usually, the US GP's parties were a nightmare. Tons and tons of media people and influencers with little idea about F1. Yet they were important to attend because of the amount of rich people the teams craved as their lawful sponsors, so all the drivers were requested to go. This meant an awful fight with Max who hated these events where he had to "prostitute" himself for a couple of millions, it was particularly tricky now that some pictures and supposed messages showing Kelly might have been cheating, surfaced. You promised him to warn everybody that any questions about his personal life were off the table for any of the interviews, but American media cared little about that.

"Are you stupid or something?" His angry voice was so much like his dad's. Dry, hurtful, and insulting even when he wasn't using big curse words.

"Max, I told everyone personal questions were off the table. I sent a memo last week and a reminder this morning" You walked following him closely as he exited the event venue. Your heels making it difficult for you to keep his pace.

"I don't care!" He stopped and turned towards you abruptly, making you crash against his body. "If Christian gives me any shit about not being here I will make sure he knows this was all your fault" His voice loud and angry felt even more intimidating as he was towering over you, his red face so close to yours you could feel the heat radiate from it.

"But-"

"Shut it, I don't want to hear it" He spat.

"Hey, mate, easy" You both turned to look at the curled hair driver approaching at a firm pace.

"Lando, this has nothing to do with you"

"It does when you're talking like that to Y/N" He gently held your arm pulling you back, placing himself between you and Max.

"How did you deal with this shit for two years? she's the worst"

"I disagree, she's the best"

"What? Why are you defending her?" Max looked in shock from Lando's intervention, and to be honest, so were you.

"Because I know the mess you are and you talking to her like that is unacceptable and most likely uncalled for. We should've never let her go, I've begging Zak to get her back and after this, there's no way I'm letting her stay at RB"

"What the fuck? I don't...Wait, did you two ...? She must be a good fuck if you want her back so bad" A bitter laugh left his chest.

There it was, the angry verbal diarrhea.

You wanted to jump in and tell him you had never even crossed two complete phrases with Lando, how the hell were you going to fuck him? But no sound left your body, you were just a passenger in this trainwreck.

"Max, come on, It's not her fault your life's a fucking mess and that you have no idea how to deal with it. And take it from me, mate, you don't need a PR manager, you need a therapist."

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Max took a couple of steps forward and faced Lando menacingly. He wasn't much taller than the Brit but seemed angry enough to cause damage.

"This is enough" You finally spoke, your voice shaky as you grabbed Lando's arm trying to pull him back. But he didn't move an inch.

"I'm not afraid of you mate" Lando hissed.

"Ok enough" You said in the most motherly voice ever and stepped in between them. "Lando, thanks but that's enough. You two don't want to do or say anything you'll regret later"

"See you on the track, mate" Said Lando as he took your hand and pulled you toward the parking lot.

You walked with him still in shock from the situation, expecting for him to let go of your hand as soon as you were out of sight from Max, but he kept going until he reached the Valet and gave him his ticket.

"Thanks fo that" You tried breaking the uncomfortable silence. "I think I need to go back there tho, I might not have a job tomorrow, but I don't need them to fire me because of not complying with my duties, Maybe I can find Max and convince him-"

"If they don't fire you, you're quitting" He said as he typed on his phone.

"What?! No, I can't do that, I can't afford to lose my job"

"You'll have a job"His voice was confident as he kept typing.

"Lando, I really-"

"Your car, Mr.Norris" The valet cut you off opening the passenger door for you.

"Get in" Lando walked toward the door to hold it himself.

"Lan-"

"Get in... please" He finally looked at you, something in his eyes telling you to do it. Not wanting to perform another scene now in front of the valet, you got inside the fancy McLaren. Your feet thanked you for the much-needed rest after the little sprint.

He removed his suit jacket, got in the driver's side, and drove off.

"I swear, you're not going to be jobless, you can stop with the bouncy leg" A hint of a laugh in his voice. Of course, he could laugh about it, he was worth millions, if he lost his job that same night, he'd have enough money to live comfortably for two lives.

Your phone started ringing in your bag. Chirstian's face on your screen made your heart beat a thousand miles. You could almost hear him, his calm yet angry voice made your skin crawl.

"Don't answer him, there's no need"

"Lando, you don't get it, it's not that simple"

A ding on his phone and a pop-up notification on his console screen called your attention.

Zak: Fine, I'm ok with it, we can talk details tomorrow.

"See?" He said smiling at the notification. You stared at him confused.

"I promised him I would behave my best for the rest of my contract if they took you back. Welcome back to Mclaren" A big smile on his face. It was odd being on the receiving end of that smile.

"Sadly, you won't be working with me. You will be part of the team's PR, I think that's an even bigger paycheck, tho"

"Ok, stop stop stop" Your voice filled with slight panic. "What the fuck's happening?"

"Wow, your first bad word" He was way too entertained with the situation.

"That you know of" Your facade was off, screw being professional, this moment was a moment for panic.

Christian's number shined on your screen again.

"Hello" You finally answered.

"Y/N, I just got a thousand messages from Max, and from the team at the event, what's going on?"

"Christian, Max lost it after some journalist asked him about Kelly, I had clearly said no questions about that were allowed"

"You should not have left Max to leave the party, we need him back there"

"I tried to stop him but-"

"No buts, Y/n, that's your job"

"No"

"What?"

"No, that's not my job, I'm not a babysitter, I'm a PR agent, I should not be dealing with tantrums and the equivalent of being spit in the face by an angry baby just because he's Max Verstappen"

You took a deep breath as the man on the other side of the phone kept quiet. Netflix would kill to have footage of this situation.

"I quit" You finally said

"What?" His high-pitched voice told you he was as surprised as you by the words leaving your mouth. You turned to look a Lando, he had the biggest smile on his face.

"I quit, Christian. I can stop by to sign my resignation tomorrow."

"But-"

"I'm sorry but I have to go now. I will stop by your office tomorrow to sign whatever is needed and to return my credentials. Have a good night" You hung up with shaky hands. As much as you sounded confident you were screaming inside.

"Nice" Lando's accent so thick.

"Oh my God" You placed your head between your legs and took deep breaths, trying not to faint.

"It's ok, it will all be ok" You felt his hand run softly up and down your back which felt weirdly soothing and calming.

You finally felt calm enough to lift your head, realizing he had pulled over at a truck stop next to the highway.

"What the fuck just happened?" You closed your eyes, the world felt as if it was spinning out of orbit.

"It will be ok, you were amazing"

"I will regret this tomorrow"

"I could help you with that" he said under his breath, you barely catching his words.

"What?"

"Never mind. Listen, you'll be fine, you'll join the team for the next season, and you can take this time as a well-deserved vacation"

"What are you talking about? Maybe Zak only told you that so you would stop bothering him. I can't wait until the next season. Oh my God, I need to call Christian back, if I apologize and explain that I was drunk or something he might not fire me" you said as you fumbled with your phone trying to get your shaky hands to get your calls.

"Stop, no, Y/n" In a swift move, Lando took your phone from your hand.

"Give it back! This is all your fault!"

"What?!"

"If you had stayed out of this I might have convinced Max to go back to the party and none of this had happened" You said as you almost jumped over him to get your phone back as he moved his hand around keeping you away from it.

"Oh c'mon, you wouldn't have lasted two more weeks with his annoying ass, I love Max but he's a pain" He sounded way too entertained by all this.

"Lando, stop it! Give me back my phone!"

"No, you have to calm down"

"No, give it back" you were almost kneeling over the seat.

"Y/n, stop"

"No"

"Y/n!"

"NO, GIVE IT-" Before you could finish your sentence his free hand grabbed you from your neck and pulled you toward him, his lips crashed into yours, finally getting you to stop moving. You even stopped breathing.

After a couple of seconds or hours, you weren't sure anymore, he let go of the fist he had formed around your hair and pulled back. His cheeks flushed as if he had been the one who had gotten kissed out of nowhere.

"Have I been drugged? Am I hallucinating? This has to be a weird trip"

His particular laugh sent chills down your spine.

"C'mon, it wasn't my best job but I'm not used to kissing people as they're having a panic attack, I needed you to calm down"

"And kissing me was the best you could come up with?"

"You're not thinking about your phone or Christian anymore, are you?"

"You're sick"

"Listen, I'm sorry I did it like that, ok? I stepped over a boundary and I apologize, but I know that after this you might hate me for the rest of your life and this seemed like the only moment I was going to be able to do it, so I'm sorry but not really"

"You can't go around kissing people just because"

"I didn't do it just because"

"What?"

"Y/N, I'm fucking in love with you!" He screamed.

"What?" Your voice is barely a whisper

"I'm sorry, I was dumb ok?"

"I'm not getting any of this"

"Ok, I'll explain. It took me about 2 months to fall head over heels for you, ok? You're smart, incredibly beautiful, funny, and so good at your job, it was hard not to fall in love with you. But I know I can be an asshole, so trying to stay away from you and not ruin everything I behaved like an even bigger asshole, pushing you away and into Red Bull's arms. So as an apology, I've been having talks with Zak. this has been going on for months. So no this just didn't come up, Max just made it easier for me to set the plan in motion"

You stared at his proud face in awe.

"Are you breathing?" He asked when not. single sound had left your body for a long time.

"You're in love with me?"

"Um yeah" He blushed and almost looked away but he didn't.

"For the two years we worked together, you were in love with me?"

"Yeah, basically"

"You have a shitty way of showing love"

"Sorry" he laughed under his breath

"You're nuts"

"I know" As soon as he saw you had calmed down he stretched his hand softly caressing your cheek. "I'm nuts for you"

"Ew, don't"

He laughed, the sound making you feel something new.

"I don't know"

"What?"

"What's going on"

"Maybe another kiss might help? I'm actually asking this time"

"Ok" You answered in a low whisper.

"Ok" He softly whispered as he took you by the neck, and pulled you toward him. It was a mutual kiss now, your lips dancing with his. His tongue traced your lips and they parted allowing your tongue to start a fight with his.

The kiss heated up as his other hand grabbed your hips and pulled you over him. Your ass pressed on the horn startling both of you and making you laugh, but quickly you returned to your make-out session.

His hand shily traveled down your spine and stopped over the soft satin fabric covering your ass. You knew exactly what he was trying to test, so you moved yours down his chest, feeling his racing heart, and traveled down all the way to his pants. You could feel his growing bulge and gave it a squeeze. He moaned deeply and gave a slap to your ass, making you moan too.

You were about to unbuckle his belt but his hand landed over yours.

"Wait, do you actually want to do this?" he asked out of breath.

"Yes" Your voice shaky from the excitement.

"Are you sure? I don't want to force you or-"

"Lando, I want you to fuck me"

Your words sent an electric shock through his body, you could even feel his dick twitch under your hand.

"I'm all yours" He smiled and moved his lips to your neck, you threw your head back giving him space to explore it and its sensitive areas. He gave soft bites around it, as he stretched to the glove compartment getting a condom out of it.

"You're a manwhore"

"I was just manifesting this"

"Sure" you answered squinting your eyes.

"I promise, You can ask Oscar, I've not had sex for months"

"I don't need to know that"

"Yeah you do, I swear I wasn't going to use this with anyone else, I promise"

He was most likely lying, but you decided to believe him, at least for tonight.

"Fine" You said as you took the condom from his hand and opened it as your lips went back to his.

He helped you by pulling down his pants and his boxers enough for his throbbing cock to spring out and slap his stomach.

"Hello Mr. Norris" You said with a cheeky smile

"Don't act so surprised"

"Sorry"

He now took the hem of your dark blue dress and pulled it over your hips, softly caressing the soft flesh of your thighs and ass. He moaned at the feeling of no underwear under it.

"You're naughty"

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me"

"I love it" He said and bit your lower lip as he placed you over his hard cock. You took the condom and without breaking the kiss you rolled it over his dick, enjoying the feeling of the heat and the veins that ran through it.

He couldn't wait any longer and as soon as he felt the condom in place he lifted his hips entering you in one deep thrust making you moan loudly from the incredible feeling of being so full.

"Fuck, Lando" you said as he started thrusting. A slow yet hard pace made your eyes roll to the back of your head, as he held you one hand by the neck the other one caressing your ass.

"Fuck, you're so fucking perfect" He moaned against your tits that were spilling out your dress.

He took one of your nipples in his mouth, pushing you closer to your release.

You had forgotten when was the last time you had sex, but none of your previous experiences could compare to this one. Lando being a manwhore was quite a benefit.

His hips hitting against yours at such a perfect pace was driving you crazy. He could tell by the way you were pulsing around him that you were close. This was probably a record and he was going to savor it.

He brought one of his hands down to your clit and just a couple of circles helped by how wet you were pushed you over the edge, loudly moaning his name in his ear. That sweet sound looped in his brain, making him reach his climax shortly after.

"Fuck" he finally said after you two had reached a decent breathing pace.

"Shit"

"Fourth curse word of the night"

"Shut it" You said as you pushed yourself off his chest and kissed him.

"I'm going to love having you around again"

"Me too"

"Well, Max was right about one thing" A cheeky grin on his face.

"What?"

"You're such a good fuck"

"You're a dick" You slapped his chest as he pulled you back to kiss him.

This was probably going to be a mess, but at least for a couple of months you were unemployed and free to date whoever you wanted, that included F1 drivers who would probably be off limits once your contract started, but that was a problem for your versions of the future.

Tag List: @wtrmlnsgr94, @ricsaigaslec, @ironmaiden1313, @formulas-bitch,

[dellieghtful]

LADS: Game Night! Uno Edition

🍓 A/N: I'm glad you guys enjoyed my last work abt the guys being stuck under one roof. I'm super happy it got a lot of good feedback which is why I'm working on making more humor/fluff content! bc i really think we need more of that for comfort reasons lol I hope you'll like this one ;3

p.s: also was written based on my free-will, not proof-read as well :p it's a rushed work ;3

SYNOPSIS: Ever thought about them and how'd they'd play uno?

📍Characters: Xavier, Zayne, Rafayel, Sylus, and Caleb (separate but they'll pop-up from time to time in each other's portions ;p) Looking to get notified? Tag yourself here!

It was game night at your place and of course it was mandatory for everyone bring in their own gameboards. What fun would game night be with just one choice of game?

"Tonight's game is," you start, shaking the see-through fishbowl before picking out a piece of paper to reveal the first game of the night: "Uno!"

From the background, you could hear Caleb and Xavier yelling out a cheer.

"So, let's start?"

XAVIER

Knows how the game is played and is actually pretty good with the game of chance.

For unfortunate reasons he falls asleep mid-game which gives you and the others a chance to get a sneek of his deck of cards

"Quick, he's asleep! Check the cards!" Caleb quietly yells on the otherside of the table as you and Rafayel take a peek of his cards. "He's got, green, two greens, and four blues, and a red card". You respond, raising your hand to show off the numbers indicated on each of the colored cards.

"And you'd never think one of Linkon's best hunters would cheat on an honest game of chance." Sylus said without looking away from his cards. Out of the six of you, Sylus and Zayne chose to sit on the couch while the rest sat around the table on the floor.

"You should know better than to cheat." Zayne added, taking a short sip from his cup of tea before carefully placing it on table and resuming focus on his deck of cards.

"As if any of you play honest during Kitty Cards." You pointed out, giving both of the men your meanest side-eye to which both of them had the nerve to avert your careful gaze.

Xavier is actually good with card games?? Much to everyone's surprise, he actually wins MOST of the matches (a literal back-to-back champ lol)

Cons: Caleb always beats him when yelling out "uno" because as far as "yelling" goes, Xavier can only hold a whisper.

"Uno." Xavier says, attempting to raise his left arm to carefully place the remaining card he held in his hand on the pile in the middle. But, unfortunately, because he said it too low for anyone to hear, Caleb took the opportunity to scream at the top of his lungs: "Uno!" and slammed the card on the pile.

"Take about fear of losing," Rafayel comments in a voice too low enough to be heard but not low enough for Caleb to not pick up. "Hey, I heard that!"

ZAYNE

Super chill throughout the entire night and suprisingly knows the in's-and-out's of the game.

"Wow! You're actually pretty good at this Zayne." You commented, your gaze focused on your deck as you skimmed through your cards in search for a green, before placing it neatly ontop of the other cards.

"Of course, being a doctor grants me the fun of engaging with my patients on the clock. Both, children and adults, I mean. Board games help pass the time and in some sense, builds self-confidence in one's skills and way of thinking".

"You must've let them win all the time." You said, as you throw a teasing smile and a slight poke to his leg with your finger which earned a small smile from Zayne before he lifts his gaze away from the cards and looks over at Caleb, who sat across the table.

"Who ever said mercy was ever part of my job description?"

Then Zayne, with all the grace and calmness, places a card on the deck and you could hear Caleb yell out a curse in the background. "Screw you, Zayne!"

Mostly focuses on eating the sweets you've prepared on the table instead of focusing on the deck of cards.

Can be easily bribed with the right treat

"I'll give you my plate of macaroons and this sweet bag of banana muffins with chocolate chips, ozzing with creamy chocolate filling". Rafayel says as he opens a bag of mini muffins, showing all six pieces of sweets, neatly packed inside the bag.

Trully a tempting offer indeed, one that Zayne could not deny despite all those grueling years in training to become a well-disciplined and leve-headed medical practitioner, he could never say no to sweets.

Taking in a deep breathe he carefully takes out a card and hands it over to the man sitting right infront of him, to which both exchanged goods. Rafayel receiving a pair of multi-colored uno cards to use at his advantage later in the game and Zayne, with his even-numbered macaroons & muffins.

"To think, a doctor would risk morality in a game of chance over a plate of treats". Sylus said, letting out a click of his tongue once or twice, expecting more from Zayne's better judgement.

"If it puts food in my stomach and sweet to taste, it's worth the risk".

"But you didn't even bother trading with me?" Caleb asked, raising a brow as he glances across the table to meet zayne eye-to-eye.

"Because carrots don't count". Then Zayne places a card that skips Caleb's chance in taking his turn.

RAFAYEL

He fumbles so bad in the game.

"And, here we go!" You cheer as you slap a +4 card on the pile, oh how unlucky the next person would be having to add another stack of cards to their own growing pile.

"A little more and you could dress up as a peacock with the deck of cards your holding". Xavier teases at Rafayel, who's currently handling about 20 cards plus an additional four to his already growing stack.

"This is just a warm-up, just you wait. I'll be bringing home the winning trophy tonight."

He in-fact did not bring any wins that night, just about 25 loses after 3 hours of trying.

For some reason, his turn either gets skipped or he has a full set of cards added to his own deck.

Tried to actually trade with Sylus but ended up getting an unlucky deck of cards.

"For a man who's feared in and out of the N109 Zone, your deck of cards aren't really instigating any fear from me".

"Oh believe me, it will." Then Sylus pulls out his ultimate weapon: a +4 card.

"Fuck my life."

SYLUS

For a game that involves bargaining (for his version of the game at least lol) and chance, you'd think the leader of the notorious group would actually bag the wins but no.

"Kitten," Sylus starts off, staring at your direction hoping you'd give him the gentle mercy of not pulling what he thinks you're about to throw onto the pile.

Deadass you stare straight into his glowing red orbs with all the courage you could muster: "No." Then slam the skip card on the deck.

"You should've called it quits when you had the chance". Zayne commented, who was now sitting near the kitchen isle with his own winning treats after beating Rafayel again.

He does get back at you though after a little while, making sure it would be your turn getting all the plus cards on your deck.

He gets to call in "Uno" once or twice throughout the night, not even with all the talent and skill that Sylus would've thought he had mastered in winning and negotiation would pale in comparison to Xavier's skill in the game.

He does in fact quit the game after the 12th round saying he needs to stretch out his legs but in reality is sitting in the other side of the room and looking up for ways he could actually win in the game without cheating or creating a crime scene.

CALEB

Hands down, he cheated in the game for about twice, using the full-length mirror he strategically placed near the couch and moving it with his evol from time to time to get a view of not just yours but everyone else's deck of cards. No remorse, no guilt.

Tries to smooth-talk you into giving up the good cards for his bad ones that he unfortunately, picked out himself.

Gets super competitive after losing the first 20 rounds. You offered to get everyone a drink while it wasn't your turn to give out a card yet. Besides, it was only you, Xavier and Caleb who were left playing the game.

"No. No one sleeps, eats or drinks not until we finish the game."

"But, we've already played more than 20 of this." You whined, already wanting to grab some snacks and refreshments before moving on to the next round of the game.

"The game doesn't end until I beat this guy," Caleb says, pointing over at Xavier who was half passed out with only three cards left in his hand. "The game ends when I win."

And so he did, after another 10 rounds of playing, he actually won once. Just once for a full hour worth of gloating.

Although game night came to an end, Caleb's the only one showing up to your door step at ungodly hours (also because of his not-so regular work schedule) to play uno.

You could hear your phone buzzing for the 10th time tonight, you weren't sure if it's a call or a text but you were sure it was Caleb asking you to play with him again.

With no choice, you groan in agony and rise from your already-comfortable sleeping position to pick up and answer the still-ringing phone.

"For the love of God and this goddamn city, the answer is no". And you quickly end the call and go back to sleep, peacefully going back into your dream state.

While you were peacefully sleeping, Xavier was the unfortunate next victim of the Colonel, showing up at his apartment at 1:12AM to play Uno cards because aparently losing 20 rounds against Xavier did not sit well with Caleb.

"Why are we doing this?" Xavier asked, rubbing his eyes as he and Caleb sat on his kitchen table chairs with cards in each of their hands.

"Because I said so".

"Dude, you need to get more friends in your socual circle".

Caleb laughs. "Hell no." Then pulls out a +4 out from his deck.

˚₊·check out my other works here—̳͟͞͞♡

[bookloover35]

Hellfire Shirt- Eddie Munson x fem reader.

The late afternoon sun filtered through the cracks in the blinds, casting a warm glow on the room. Eddie Munson, with his wild curls and signature leather jacket, leaned against his bedroom door, watching you as you rummaged through his dresser drawer.

You were on a mission: his Hellfire Club shirt. The one that smelled like him—the faint musk of cigarette smoke, leather, and something uniquely Eddie. You had asked if you could borrow it that morning, and Eddie had eagerly agreed. His face had lit up when you mentioned it, almost like you'd given him a gift.

"Found it!" you said, pulling the shirt from the drawer and holding it up to your chest with a grin. It was a bit too big for you, but that was part of the charm. Eddie's shirts always looked perfect on you. They were like cozy blankets, but with a touch of rebellion.

"You know, you wear that way better than I ever could," Eddie said with a playful wink, stepping forward. His voice was warm, as if every word had been carefully chosen just for you. "It's like it was made for you."

You chuckled, slipping the shirt over your head and letting it fall down over your body. It hung loosely, draping over your curves in the softest way. The black fabric, marked with the bold, red lettering of the Hellfire Club, made you feel comfortable and confident.

Eddie's eyes lingered on you as you adjusted the shirt. His gaze softened with affection, his lips curling into a soft smile.

"You look amazing," Eddie murmured, taking a slow step toward you. His hands found their way to your waist, pulling you in close. "It's perfect. You're perfect."

You flushed slightly, but the feeling of his hands around you, holding you like you were the most important thing in the world, melted away any self-consciousness you might have had. You were wrapped in the warmth of his love, and it was more than enough.

"I like how you're always so honest with me," you whispered, brushing a strand of hair out of his face. "It's... it's nice."

Eddie chuckled softly, his lips brushing your forehead before pulling back to look at you. "You deserve honesty, sweetheart. And as far as I'm concerned, there's nothing more honest than telling you that you look absolutely incredible in my shirt."

His words made you laugh, the sound filling the room. There was something undeniably special about being with Eddie—his effortless kindness, the way he could make even the most ordinary things feel like magic. Whether it was wearing his Hellfire shirt or just lying together in the quiet moments, you felt safe and loved.

"Well," you said, wrapping your arms around his neck, "I think you might be biased."

"Maybe," Eddie grinned, his hands gently squeezing your hips. "But I don't mind being biased when it comes to you."

You laughed again, your heart swelling with affection for the boy who somehow made every day feel like an adventure. "You know, if you ever need someone to take your Hellfire shirt off your hands, I can volunteer."

His eyes twinkled with mischief. "I don't know... it might be hard to part with it. You look so good in it."

"Not as good as you," you teased, brushing your lips against his cheek.

Eddie pulled you closer then, his lips finally meeting yours in a kiss that was soft and lingering, full of unspoken promises. The Hellfire shirt, for all its rebellion and connection to his club, was just a symbol of the love you shared—the kind of love that was so natural, so easy.

And as the kiss deepened, you realized that with Eddie, it didn't matter what you wore, whether it was his oversized shirt or your favorite pair of jeans. It was the way he looked at you, with adoration and affection, that made you feel like the most beautiful person in the world.

"You're my favorite," Eddie said against your lips when you finally broke apart. "Hellfire shirt or not, you're always my favorite."

With a soft, contented sigh, you rested your head against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath the fabric. "And you're mine, Eddie. Always."

[siddyyyyyyyy]

You're Only Sixteen

wc: ~3.8k

summary: child soldier joins task force141, stuff is complicated

warnings: violence, brief discussion of child soldiers

a/n: got this idea from somewhere, it marinated in my drafts for about half a year lol; second part

Waiting at the back of the base, Ghost is leaning against the building, waiting on the new addition to the Task Force. As if they even need one. Price sent him to meet the recruit, telling him the new asset should be highly trained and good for the team. Maybe he's right, but five people on the team seem too much for Ghost. Whatever criticism he has, they don't matter now since Price got you into the team anyway, meaning there's no going back unless you manage to mess up badly. Soap passes him by, having a clue on why he's waiting outside right now.

»Waiting on the new recruit?«

He gives a grunt as a response. »Supposedly, they're highly trained and an 'asset' to us.« Soap nods and wishes him good luck, but also prays for the recruit. Meeting Ghost as the first of the team might be scary for the new recruit, but Price probably doesn't really care about that or he wants that to happen. God knows what his plan is; no one really knows.

Some time passes after the interaction before a truck arrives with you in it, a smaller figure popping out of the vehicle once it stopped near Ghost. He doesn't register what he sees in front of him for a moment, too focused on the truck driving away, before properly taking a look at you. While about two heads smaller than him, you have a rather slim build but a gloomy appearance around you. And you're... not older than bloody fifteen. There's no way. That's either a bad joke or you just look incredibly young.

»Name?« Once his gruff voice reaches you, you can't help but already tense up slightly more than before. He looks intimidating, yes, but you're sure he should be your future teammate. Eventually, you briefly introduce yourself, and he is also very sure that he's got the right person in front of him. The new asset. Ghost isn't one to be nosy or ask personal questions, but he needs to really bite back on asking about your age. You look way too young to be here. Let alone meet him in person.

»And you're Ghost, right?« You ask carefully, standing right in front of him with a respective distance. With how stoic your expression is... you're too much like his younger self. Maybe Ghost thinks too much of it, but he hopes you didn't need to go through the same thing he did.

He gives you back a small nod, uncrossing his arms and sizing you up for a second longer before turning around to the door. Walking into the base without saying another word and expecting you to follow him just like that. Pretty scary, to be honest.

You don't know much, but being added to a team of four, not sure what their intentions are with either you or in general. Maybe it's better when he doesn't talk much to you; the less you know, the better. But the base looks too clean and organised for any shady stuff to go on. But you could also be easily mistaken. Looking around, you spot only a few soldiers walking by, how simple it's decorated inside, and it isn't cold like in other buildings. After some long corridors, he stops at a double door, a small sign next to the doors with 'Briefing Room' written on it. Ah, good to know.

Ghost eyes you for a hot second before opening one of the doors and walking in, following behind him once again. Walking in, you see three other men in the room already, looking less intimidating than this ‘Ghost guy‘. »Nice to meet you and welcome to the team.« Another deep but more soft voice greets you, a man with a beard and fisherman's hat giving you a small nod. His gaze hardens for a moment too, like Ghost's did before when first meeting you. He also realises something is wrong. You nod back as a small form of greeting, mumbling out a formal greeting back.

»Kid, tell me. How old are you'?« He asks as he straightens his posture and awaits your answer, tilting his head a bit to the side. It‘s clear this man doesn‘t beat around the bush and goes straight to the point. The other two men in the room stay quiet, silently watching and studying you as well. One with a mowhawk exchanges a look with the tall, scary guy, Ghost, before glancing to the captain.

»There was no age on your file, so I'm just curious.« He adds to his question, sounding polite even though you can clearly hear the suspicion and probably even concern in his voice. Taking a deep breath, you try to be honest, but you're also afraid of the consequences of being honest. There are four men after all, all taller than you, seemingly much bigger and stronger. You know how to fight, but it still gives you chills standing in this room with unfamiliar men, all alone.

»I'm sixteen, sir.« Is your answer and voice steady and calm even though your body language betrays you. Your whole body stays still, with hands behind your back, seemingly waiting for any possible attack or threat to come right your way. It's silent while you look around the faces of them, seeing both surprise and disbelief in almost all of them. Only Ghost stays unwavering, but that might just be his balaclava covering his whole face. He knew something was wrong but wasn't sure enough to ask you that same question earlier, having figured that his captain knew enough anyway to avoid this situation. It stays silent for another beat until the captain sighs out, leaning his hands onto the table in front of him.

»And what's a sixteen-year-old doing in such a place?« He asks you, even though he could ask that question himself. How could he allow this? Is that why there was no age to your file? And are there more poor children like you? It's obvious they're all against something like a 'child soldier‘ in their team, even when you‘re a teen by now. »I was sent here to be an asset to your team.« You answer him, deciding it's better to talk and communicate rather than stay silent and listen to the thick silence.

»Captain, that's-« »Another word and you're out, Gaz.« The guy with the cap is interrupted by the captain's loud voice, giving out a clear warning. You notice how tense it feels in the room, sensing just how badly this could go wrong. Price takes a short breath before turning his attention back to you, standing at his full height once again.

»What do you know? About this, I mean. Do you even know our names? What we're doing?« You simply shake your head, staying stoic and calm even though you have the strong urge to run out of the room, knowing you‘re most likely not welcome in this room. But you won‘t; you've learnt to stay put and stand your ground, to not show any weakness no matter what.

»Kid...« He sighs out, trying to find a way to put this correctly, »Okay, let's start with you first. Tell us about yourself.« This is much kinder than you thought this would be. No one's glaring at you besides one particular shadow in the corner, but that just seems to be in his nature. You answer him, your voice being as steady and calm as possible, while telling them about yourself.

»I've been trained professionally for nearly nine years, been on the field since then. My specialisations are weapon handling, sabotage, sniper techniques, and demolitions.«

You state, carefully picking your words and telling them information about yourself that seems to be most necessary for now. Price stares at you for a few seconds, all eyes on you, while the mowhawk and Ghost are occasionally exchanging looks with each other, seemingly unsure about you. It seems like the captain is thinking before speaking up once more, having decided it.

»That's a lot for sixteen years. You must be real good if you were sent here, no? I think you have potential.« »Price, are you serious-« The mowhawk snaps, glaring at his captain before glancing back to you shortly. »That's a kid.« He hisses, completely thrown off with his captain's easy acceptance of you in their team. »I agree, Cap'. There's no way we'll have a child soldier on our side.« Baseball cap, Gaz, chimes in and tries to convince Price otherwise of you.

It feels both refreshing but also scary when someone talks like this about you, not being used to someone recognising the falseness of this, but you're also afraid if they decide to not accept you into the team. All you can do is watch.

»There's no safer place than here for a kid like this. And the mission is too soon to search for other assets.« He argues back, thinking it's better for you here than anywhere else. He's not wrong; you're in better hands now. The thing is that you have no knowledge of who these people are or what they're fighting for. Or anything else, really.

»Trust me, Soap.« The captain reassures him, Soap, the mowhawk guy, taking his eyes back to you. It's uneasy for you when you know how none of them like the idea of you in the team but the captain. And that's pretty much the only thing keeping you in this task force for now.

»Sorry. We'll keep you in the team, but if you aren't really that good, then we'll have to get rid of you.« The captain's words cut right through you, understanding that this might be a warning for you. That, if you let yourself down or don't show your everything, this might be your end. But maybe he also just said it to scare you. Which worked either way, not wanting to disappoint him. »I understand, sir.« You nod, glancing around the other faces once more quickly as if to remember their faces. ----

Not knowing their names is difficult, having no idea how to ask them for it as well. Wait for them to introduce themselves? Might take longer than some missions. Ask them yourself? No, that's too embarrassing, right? I mean, the captain mentioned their names before in the briefing room, but you just couldn't remember them that quickly. Especially with the situation you were in. But asking them yourself might be a good idea too; practicing social skills and trying to get to know what their intentions are would be a good start.

Looking around yourself, you see only how everyone's preparing for the mission. After the briefing ended, the captain announced that you're all heading out, not able to waste any more time. The mowhawk guy, also the closest to your height, is preparing his guns and picking out some more stuff for himself. Besides him, there's the guy with the baseball cap, and he's doing pretty much the same as his teammate. They look harmless like this, but it's just the fact that these are men, all too unfamiliar to be comfortable around them yet.

Ghost is the only more scary and silent one among them, knowing not to mess with him just by looking at him. The captain is by the helicopter, talking to the pilot and seemingly going over the plan or route once more.

So, there's two people not doing much but preparing themselves, one who's waiting for everyone to be ready and the captain who is busy talking to someone already. Now's your chance, but also not. It doesn't feel right to just walk up to them and start talking, not used to such casual interactions back at your camp. But staring at them isn't really polite either, so you take your eyes off the poor men and instead study the helicopter while strapping on your gear. ----

Sitting in the helicopter is much more interesting, there are more buttons, more extra buttons, interesting technology, and other stuff to look at. Good thing you're sitting next to the captain, too afraid to move the wrong way as if he would care about that in the first place.

He's more focused on the mission and if everything is going according to plan. The others don't seem as nervous or excited in the first place, just like you being rather stoic or focused. To your left sits the scot, he is not looking your way, instead checking out the helicopter's interior as well. Looking straight in front of you, there's Ghost and the most normal-looking one. You could basically ask them their names now, but that could come off as awkward too.

Maybe earlier was a better idea than now... »What's your name again?« Asks the rough voice from your right, looking straight at you. You glance at him and answer him shortly with your name. He nods in response, gesturing to the opposite of him, and goes on.

»That's Gaz. On his right, there's Ghost. And on your left, there's Soap. These are our call signs. I'm Captain Price, sorry for not introducing ourselves earlier.«

Hm, that's very nice of him, actually. You'd never thought he would be so soft spoken, even with his rather rough and raspy voice. But the way he introduces everyone gives you hope that this team might be just a chill and friendly one.

You nod back in return, considering shortly what to say to that. »Nice.« Soap smirks just lightly at your short response, the same goes to Gaz, who after that short introduction looks away once more. Ghost's eyes stay on you for longer, either sizing you up or just staring. Well, there goes your social skills, having thought too much about speaking up and how not to be awkwa-

»What'd you know about guns? You said you specialise in weapon handling.« This is on your left side this time, Soap, if you remember correctly. Your attention is on him now, answering his question after processing it quickly.

»Like, what kind of guns there are or what I have with me?« You ask back, unsure of what to reply exactly to him. He clarifies himself, shifting slightly in his seat to face you better. He tries again, asking you more about what kind of guns are your favourites and if you know some of the mechanics of them and how to tune your gun.

You learn a lot about tuning your gun or rifle, not having been taught that much in your camp. Even though you both haven't talked much, it still felt like you learnt a lot through him. Some would say talking about guns isn't appropriate with a teenager, but is there anything else to talk about with you anyway?

As soon as the helicopter landed and Soap had mostly rambled to you about guns, you're all ready to walk out and officially start the mission. It was rather simple, the plan is to clear a three-story building, get the intel and leave. It shouldn't take any longer than an hour, depends on how many difficulties there are going to be.

After the last few commands of the captain, it starts, pairing up in groups of two while Price goes to the front. Soap is by your side like before, while Ghost and Gaz are in front of you.The atmosphere shifts, and everyone is dead focused, having no place for mistakes. The task of clearing out the building wasn't difficult, it was difficult to actually focus on getting the intel. It was in the basement of the rather big house, only able to get in after having actually cleared out the entire area. After that's done, it goes straight to it, and there was no going back.

Your stomach drops once you reach the basement, it's silent but also so loud you can't hear what the others are saying. Several dead bodies, a dimly lit lamp from the ceiling, the intel in the corner, inside of a USB-stick next to the computer. Price steps in and first puts the stick in to check if it is really what's needed. After a few seconds of loading, it turns out that, yes, it's exactly the information you're here for.

You're finally able to breathe once Price turns around with the intel in hand before giving a firm nod, ready to go back out and return to base. The stench of the dead bodies was torture for you, let alone how dark it was in the room and how silent it was. Walking out was way easier, almost running out as the first one. But outside, there was another surprise. Right as the team went out of the basement, there was another team of soldiers, having just entered the hallway. One wrong move and you're done for, that's for sure.

Your adrenaline skyrockets and makes you act on impulse, shooting two soldiers down with clean head shots. They stop staring and act, one rushing right at you with a knife, probably thinking that’s an easier way instead of shooting at you. Thanks to your aggression that’s mostly caused by your adrenaline rush, you’re quick to block and counterattack him. The enemy soldier is clearly taller than you, but for some reason not hard to fight with at all. You quickly jab his side, which makes him gasp for air; using the distraction to choke him before stabbing him at his other side repeatedly. He cries out and winces before you let go, him holding onto his injured side and falling to his knees. You grab a fire extinguisher from the wall and hit his back with it until he collapses, aiming at his head until you’re sure he is done for. The team took out the rest and glanced to where the loud bangs were coming from, only seeing how you hit the soldier one last time before the fire extinguisher fell from your sweaty palms.

A look of surprise washes over their faces until Nikolai talks into the earpieces, informing you he’s waiting right outside with his helicopter, having about a minute before he needs to fly away.

Once the enemies are out, you're quick to leave the building all together and indeed, see the helicopter of Nikolai. Loaded in and safe, it feels like you've just run a whole marathon. Sitting down at one of the seats with a sigh, you relax your muscles as much as you can. Nikolai’s voice chimes in through the headset you're all wearing once again, all loud and clear and almost as soft spoken as Price's voice. Maybe a bit more warm than the captains, but laced with an accent. The conversation only consists of updating and some light jokes afterwards, it’s mostly quiet. The low grumble of the helicopter is the only thing filling the silence inside, not that it's uncomfortable. It's almost relaxing to finally be safe and at peace for now, even if it's just the way back.

That basement earlier took up some courage in you to go in and stay grounded, not to think too much and focus on the obvious. The surprise attack afterwards sure was surprising but nothing too challenging. The seat was strangely comfortable now after the mission, it's getting darker now anyways as the sun sets and your sore legs are able to have a time out for now. In fact, it's so comfortable that you need to force yourself to stay awake now.

Sandwiched between Price and Soap once more is enough to keep you awake, but not for long. Falling asleep seemed impossible in a room with these four guys at first but now you're napping against the shoulder of Price. Eyes closed and breathing steady, body very much relaxed. Price, on the other hand, is as stiff as a rock right now, not wanting to wake you or make this awkward. Gaz is pretty much amused at the sight in front of him, needing to resist a chuckle. The way you're just so relaxed and napping while Price is as tense as steel is also amusing to the other two teammates.

»We're almost there, just five more minutes.« Nikolai’s thick Russian accent is heard through the mic into the headsets, while Price is feeling relieved that you took your own off headset earlier. It's silent, so Nikolai speaks again, confused on why it's silent.

»Everybody alright?« He asks slowly, awaiting for someone to answer positively. »Rookie fell asleep. Trying t' stay quiet.« Ghost answers quietly back, and Nikolai has to fight back the urge to turn around in his seat and take a look himself. A low chuckle escapes him eventually as he shakes his head lightly and continues flying everyone back to base. ----

The debrief was... calm. Awfully calm. No one's arguing, and no one is yelling for no reason, it's just so casual but professional. Maybe your camp was abusive or at least unprofessional, but this almost feels too calm. It feels as if something will go wrong any second, but it doesn't.

Captain is telling everyone what he found on the USB stick, and the new plan and information are being displayed on the wall by a projector. He's going straight to the point and just tells the obvious, facing the team that is seated at a long table. The next big mission should be in about two weeks until everything is planned, it being a more complicated raid, with the main point of taking held hostages from a big building. Eventually, once he's done, his eyes lock on you and seem to become more serious.

»Before this mission, we'll need to train you as much as possible, so you won't make mistakes. Or worse.« You nod in return, already seeing yourself training day and night and trying to improve impossibly fast.

»We'll train all together and work on our teamwork. As well as spare a few rounds together, hm? Sound good?« You nod once more, feeling like this might actually be more pleasant than hard work like your usual training was. »Good.« You reply back, and once everything is settled, everyone can retreat back into their bunks and rest for tonight. ----

This night was restless for you like every other. Sleeping at a completely different and strange place is always off-setting at first. The bed is normal-sized, and there's nothing you would complain about in your own bunk, you just need to get used to it. Or maybe it was the one-hour nap you took before in the helicopter that prevents you from sleeping now. You're just glad no one addressed it later on after you woke up. Tossing and turning, you eventually fall asleep after several hours from exhaustion.

a/n: don't worry, there will be more chapters, just have to refresh my brain about my plot since I haven't touched it in a while... hope you still enjoyed it!

[rainyorca]

Rebirth 𓆗 Kenji Sato x Reader

Content warnings: F!reader, smut, pnv, cunnillings, long form, angst/comfort, no established relationship.

Summary: You aren't the type to date one night stands, however, after a rather compelling night with Kenji, you may reconsider.

Notes: I dropped one of my other works to work on this one, the idea came to me in the middle of the night and is slightly inspired by Love song By Rihanna. This one came from the heart, a little self reflecting in there but I find works where the author can reflect on are often times the best ones, a little bit more significant. Anyways I hope you guys like this one <3 I took a little inspiration from @spurbleu please go read their works!

Words: 7,987

MDNI

°｡ ⋆༺𓆙༻⋆｡ °°｡ ⋆༺𓆙༻⋆｡ °°｡ ⋆༺𓆙༻⋆｡ °

It all started as a simple one night stand, or so you thought. You’re not the type to date your one night stands, as it was something you deemed….inappropriate, just simply not something you're comfortable with. He doesn't really seem like the type to have time for a relationship anyways, given he’s a famous baseball player, which you weren't aware of at first, ironic his face was plastered all over Tokyo but you didn't care enough to pay attention. Why would he waste his time on you? But also, the overall idea of being in a relationship with a celebrity makes your head hurt, you have no desire to be the center of attention, especially with someone like him by your side. 

But you always thought about it. 

In truth, you always thought about him, whenever you had time to think. You remember the first night he brought you home, you weren't expecting much, given the way he acted when you met him. He was arrogant, egotsictal, but he was cute so you gave him a chance, flirting with him in hopes of getting what you wanted, just a quick fuck and you’d go, like usual. 

However, there was a new found deepness in the way he kissed you, the softness and genuine feeling of his touch, the way he would moan your name, or even simply say it. It awoke something in you, made you realize something, you’ve never felt that kind of profoundness before and it uprooted some new feelings in you. That night, you sat awake in his bed, your mind replaying what had just happened. 

Even before he gently opened your legs that night the whole experience between getting to his house was incredibly different, a sweetness in his eyes as he watched you admire the vastness of his place. How he would ask questions before to make sure you were comfortable, even offering you something to drink or a quick snack before he brought you to his room. Usually with your other hookups, your hands are already on each other as soon as you get through the door, even in the Uber or ride to someone’s place, but taking a breather before getting into things was nice, significantly better than what you were expecting.

The usual guilt after the climax always hits you, and it did this time just not as strong. You couldn't help but wonder if this is really what you wanted to keep doing, if you wanted to keep hooking up with random people. Another thought slithered its way into your brain, fangs sinking into the organ, intruding your thoughts. This was the most honest, real, one night stand you’ve ever had. 

Something about the way he looked at you before kissing you, the way he spoke softly to you the whole night, how gentle he was, and most importantly how he cleaned you up afterwards, gingerly holding your legs apart. You stared at the softness of his face, noticing every little detail from the faint (but visible) eyebags to the beauty mark on the right side of his face, just a little below his bottom lip. His focused expression and relaxed posture made your heart swell, and the way he would praise you while he cleaned you up. Saying things like “you did so good” or “you took me so well.” He even asked about you, how you were feeling while he carefully helped you get your panties back on, mindful of your shaking hands. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?” Questions about you, paying no mind to himself. God, it was torture, from his looks to his mere and genuine kindness, he had you wrapped around his finger and he didnt even know it. 

Everything about him was torture. 

That morning you awoke to his arms wrapped loosely around your waist, his sharp features softened, a quiet snore emitting from him. You sat up, his arms sliding down to your hips now. Staring outside one of his massive windows, you could see the reflection of you and him on the bed, his shirt fitted over your frame, once worn by him. It made your head throb, your heart ache. You stared at him for what felt like an eternity, still trying to really wrap your head around how you were feeling. Carefully, you slide out of bed, his arms dropping onto the mattress softly. You dress yourself, taking his shirt off and leaving it folded at the end of his bed. As you always do, even for your worst experiences, you left him a note, but trying to figure out what to say to him was difficult. You left without waking him, leaving him with the scent of wisteria on his pillow. 

But really, you couldn't lie, you did leave your phone number on the note, saying if he needed anything or wanted to reach out to give you a call. To your surprise, he did, about a few days later. He had asked to meet up again, and you physically reacted. You didn't know if it was excitement or regret for leaving your number, seeing him again, after all this is what you wanted, right? Of course you still went, it would be crazy if you didn't. He had made a nice dinner which you two shared and talked over, it wasn't long after that, his hands were all over you, studying your body and taking in the canvas of your skin, desperate to decorate it with his own colors. 

A part of you wanted to believe it wasn't just lust and rather he felt something for you too, but in situations like these it was hard to believe.. And when he moaned your name as desperate and softly as he did that previous time it was like it all came washing over you, cold water splashing onto your face, jolting you awake in the middle of the night. Kenji’s arms wrapped around you again, holding you a decent distance away but you could still feel his warmth. Three in the morning and you were wide awake, staring at his beautiful face, struggling with the viper in your head. 

It became repetitive.

Kenji would invite you over, have dinner, maybe even watch a movie or swim in his pools and then he’d bed you again. The more you spent at his place, the more confused you were but the deeper in love you fell. You didn't want to ruin what you two had going on and most of all you were terrified, fear stopping you from asking him out officially. What would he say? Would he laugh at you? He’s awfully arrogant sometimes. Would he end things with you, tell you to leave his house? If you did, would you ever see him again? Aside from the billboards, the Tv ad’s, not being able to see his face in person would destroy you. 

But none of that really sounded like him, honestly. You wished you had the confidence, the power to say something, you were confident enough to flirt with him, to get him to fuck you but not confident enough to tell him you wanted to be with him. It was weird, something that seems so easy is so difficult for you to do, you felt like a little girl all over again, afraid to ask your crush out.

So you lay there, always up before him because that viper won't leave you alone. When you get home, you can't help but wonder, hope, that you're on his mind as much as he's on yours. It's pathetic, really. You tried seeing other people when you weren't wrapped around him, but it all felt empty to you, a cold spot on the bed. The others would treat you like any other girl, fuck you, leave you a mess, and then tell you to leave in the morning, something you were used to after spending years of this same cycle, and when they moaned your name it made you want to vomit. Nowadays, you leave before they can kick you out themselves. 

And you always notice something about him, he only fucks you in the comfort of his bed. He never bends you over the table or sits you up on the kitchen counter, it’s always in the softness of his white sheets, surrounded by his room. Curtains halfway open, letting light pour in so he can see your face and so you can admire his. 

You hated yourself for this, you wished you never got caught up in this lifestyle. You don't even remember why you started, desperate for love maybe, touch deprived? It's all blurry to you now.  Eventually, you stopped hooking up with other people, but you stayed with Kenji. Your heart wouldn't let you leave him. And you know, his face has probably been buried in tons of other girls' thighs, even the days when you're not with him. But when he was buried between your legs, mouth working expertly at your core, deep eyes staring up at you, you couldn't help but feel, maybe he gave you better treatment than the others. Your love for him dripped out of your core, seeped into his mouth, staining his tongue, but he was too blind to taste it. 

You wanted him, not in a sexual, carnal way but in a loving, passionate, devoted way. You wanted to be in his possession, you wanted to be his girl. You would whine his name, countless times as he reached your sweet spot perfectly, hoping he feels that same shudder, that same tingle when he would moan yours. The feeling of love in just the simplicity of a name. 

One night you got home from work, a hectic day weighing on your shoulders, Kenji had texted you, asking if you wanted to come over. You broke down, suddenly, randomly, sobbing into your hands while you sat on your knees. You don't know why you cried, maybe stress from the rough day you had, or maybe it was because of him, oblivious, unaware, him. 

“Oh, okay.” he said over the phone, his voice echoing into your ears. “Is everything okay though?” Perhaps he could hear your sniffles, your quiet sobs. 

“I’m fine,” you responded, simple and quick. “Just had a rough day.” 

He said, “I understand, if you wanna talk about it—-you know I'm here, always.” 

You had tensed up, feeling sick to your stomach all over again. He sounded unsure, like he knew you were crying but didnt want to push, like hes never never had to comfort someone hes fucked before, only when theyre sore and hurting. You felt bad, wiping your tears as you tried to settle down after the rather short phone call. Again you were left wondering if he was thinking about you, that viper curled its scaled body around your mind, squeezing. 

On the rare nights he would cancel, he was busy and didn't want you coming over too late, he would offer to give you some release over the phone. Always putting your pleasure first, that's what he's done since day one. When he called you that first time, it surprised you, he cared enough about you that he still wanted to help you out in some sort of way. You'd tell him you were fine, to enjoy whatever it was he was doing and usually that would be that. But sometimes he catches you at the right time, when you're frustrated, needing release. He’d talk you through it over the phone, drinking up the sound of your soft moans as you pleasured yourself to his voice. His voice, god. It was the most devastating, siren-like melody you had the honor of hearing. He knew all the right ways, tones, words to get you off. His voice was indescribable, he could literally call you by your name and you’d be on your knees, it always sounded best after his own release. Once you were finished he’d talk to you a little more, at least until you stopped responding, and then he would hang up. 

He owned you, he owned your thoughts, your feelings. It was terrible, absolutely terrible. 

The real eye opener was a few months into this situationship, after you had gotten rid of your other hookups, right around the time baseball started picking up again. He grew busier so seeing him, being able to feel him after not being able to in a while was rewarding. You remember it so clearly, he was buried deep inside you, his eyes closed and mouth agape as he pushed himself to his release, soft moans and grunts coming out of his mouth. That was when he finally released and upon the bliss, he spoke freely. 

“I love you,” he gasped, not once, but multiple times, “I love you—love you….so much.” 

That was it for you, really it was. The once tears of pleasure turned into something deeper and you cried in front of him (unnecessary, embarrassing tears you would tell yourself). He didn't realize at first, his head was resting on your collar bones as he caught his breath, settling down from his release. But your quiet whimpers and sobs made him sit up, his expression changing when he saw you crying. He knew it wasn't a cry of pleasure, you were full on sobbing, covering your eyes and wiping them with your hands.

“I’m sorry,” you sobbed, pathetically. “I'm so sorry.” 

Confused and bewildered, Kenji cups your face with both hands. “Hey, hey,” he says softly, “no need to apologize, are you okay? Did I hurt you?” 

“No,” you choke out, grabbing his hands as he holds your face, “no–” You couldn't even get the words out, it was embarrassing, choking on mucus and struggling to breathe. You weren't sure why you were crying, maybe because you felt bad, maybe because his words set you off, but why? 

“Then what's wrong?” he pushed on, his voice as gentle as ever. “You can talk to me.” 

You never told him, instead you continued to cry like a baby, until he pulled you into his chest, holding you tight. One of his hands running up and down your back soothing you until your sobs quieted to sniffles and then went silent. He was up before you the following morning, still rubbing your back softly, listening to your breathing, chest stained and damp with your tears. You left your mark on him that day, unnoticeable to the naked eye, but seen by him. 

For once, you thought about praying, praying to whatever god there was, up there watching you. It's not like you were asking for the world, you were just asking for him, is he really too much to ask for? A few days later, he had hit you up, asking if he could come over this time. So he showed up at your place, standing in the doorway while the rain pelted down, soaking his clothes and hair. 

God he was beautiful, he looked so good standing in the rain you couldn’t even find the words to express it. A tingle goes up your spine, making you shudder, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little turned on right now. That was his effect on you, just merely the sight of him can get you excited, turn you on, sometimes you even questioned yourself if it was your libido making you feel this way, but you knew it wasn’t, it was more. 

You gave him a towel to dry off as he looked around your apartment, given it was his first time in here. The first thing he noticed was the smell, your place just smelled like you. It was earthy and floral at the same time, hints of jasmine. He looked at your bookshelf, multiple books of all genres, dusty and showing that they hadn’t been cleaned in a while, a clear give away to the state of your mind. You make him some tea, butterfly pea for yourself and regular green tea for him, setting them both on the coasters of your wooden coffee table. Kenji sat down on your couch, the towel resting on his broad shoulders. You sat next to him, feeling the awkward tension, averting your gaze. His fingers tap on his cup, as if he’s debating on bringing up what had happened a few nights ago, he’s tense. 

“So, I didn’t just come here to-“

“I know,” you interrupt him, “I know.”

“You never told me what happened that night,” he continues, cautiously, watching your face for any change. You turn to look at him, pressing your lips into a line before trying to speak. 

“It was-“ you stop yourself, “I was just having a rough day, that was it. Sometimes it catches up to me at the wrong times, I’m sorry.” It was a lie, of course it was. You didn’t want to tell him what it really was, especially now of all times. It’s silent for a few moments until he suddenly reaches over, grabbing your face with one of his large, gentle hands, scooting closer to you. “Hey, there’s no need to apologize,” he responds softly, “you should've said something earlier.” He presses a soft kiss to your forehead, rubbing your cheek with his thumb. Moments like these are what makes you feel like there's more to this, more than just the sex but still, you keep your mouth shut.

He’s gotten more stingy with his time, finding it hard to see each other. A part of you wonders if he's chosen to move on after what happened the past week, wondering if he decided to drop you completely. You wouldn't blame him if that's what he was doing, at least he was letting you off easy. His texts and responses were still the same but they became slower and eventually you stopped texting him, it was foolish anyways, pointless. Why in the world would he freely talk to you, waste his time, when you two aren't even together? When you were bored, you would find yourself watching his games on the Tv, or at least whenever they came on. You would focus on him the entire time, ignore every other player, he was your star, your black sheep. 

You questioned if he would even enjoy seeing you at one of his games, after all he never invited you, you would have to invite yourself. So you did, the next game you went ahead and bought a ticket, clearing your plans for the night just to watch him play. Your seat was pretty good, you could see his face clearly from where you were sitting. His focused face always made you smile, always made you flutter, he was so indescribably charming it hurt. You kept your cheers quieter than everyone else, but it wouldn't really matter if you didn't, you would be fitting in with the crowd, but a part of you didnt want him to look up and somehow notice you, it would be hard to pick you out of this huge audience anyways.

After the game, you decided to stay, somehow finding where the locker room was, surrounding yourself with wives, even children of the other players, in a way you kinda fit in. You don’t know what motivated you to go there, maybe the ache between your legs? After seeing him play you couldn’t help it, something about a man with ambition, a man with passion. 

You were still sticking out like a sore thumb, nervously tapping your foot and feeling uncomfortable, it was obvious, you were just too dumb to realize. Your eyes bore into the door, waiting for him to come out, a new found nervousness filling your soul. “Psst,” someone tries to get your attention, you didn't realize it at first until a lady bumped shoulders with you. You turn to look at her, brown eyes meeting yours. She was older than you, probably around thirty maybe even forty but you dont assume.

 “I’ve never seen you before,” she says, voice friendly, “do you know one of the players?” 

“I guess you could say that,” you respond quietly, trying to find a way to explain who you were to Kenji but most people wouldn't take “we hook up all the time” as an answer. So you kept quiet until she spoke again. 

“Which one? I'm curious.” She pressed on, her tone dripping with some type of underlying excitement. 

You clear your throat, feeling a little awkward.”Um, Ken–Kenji, Sato,” you try to keep your voice from sounding too shaky, worried she might assume you're an obsessive fan. 

“Oh!” she exclaims, laughing lightly, tossing her head back and gesturing with one of her hands, “I’ve never seen anyone come see him, it's about damn time.” 

You can tell she's just joking a little, you smile as a response. “God wow,” she says suddenly, sounding astonished, “you have a beautiful smile, absolutely gorgeous, wowww.” 

“Oh,” the random compliment makes you smile a little wider, “thank you.” She nods, looking back at the door but then turning to you again. 

“You're a real pretty girl, you know,” she hums, crossing her arms, “and you seem nice, I mean you came to one of his games. Sato must feel really lucky to have you as a girlfriend.” 

Girlfriend. That word, the word you avoided for so long, what a terrifying thing to be called.

“Oh, I’m–” you stop yourself, should you tell her or not? What's the chance of her bringing it up to her husband and then he says something to Kenji. “He's not my boyfriend, we’re just friends,” you settled with that, she seemed to be a little surprised and ... .upset? 

 “Oh but you like him,” you blink at her, the response unexpected, “a mother always knows, I can see it all over your face.” 

Warmth spreads over your face, painting your cheeks a gorgeous shade of red and she notices, chuckling to herself. “I’ll tell you what I always tell my daughter,” she says, her tone morphing into something more firm, she turns her whole body towards you now, “it's always good to tell them before it's too late, you never know what’ll happen.” 

Were you really about to express your feelings to a random middle aged woman? “But,” you start, shifting uncomfortably, “what if he doesn't like me?” You sound pathetic, like how you did in highschool, crying to your mom because you were confused on why you couldn't love the way others did. You suddenly felt bad for your highschool lover. The real question you should have asked is why do you feel uncomfortable at the mere thought of being in a relationship. 

“His loss,” she rolls her eyes playfully, “but all you can do is accept and move on, it sucks and it hurts for a while but it gets better, trust me.” 

It was nice talking to her, you don't talk to your mom anymore since moving to Japan, she also just doesn't approve of your lifestyle. Having no friends(too distracted, driven by lust to try) made it hard to get advice or even someone to talk to about problems. Having someone to tell you this made you feel a little better, opened your eyes. 

“I guess you're right,” you mutter out, “thank you for the advice.” You smile a close lipped smile at her and she returns it. The locker room door opens and the first few players start to spill out, greeting their wives and children. Her husband comes out next and she turns to greet him, smiling widely as she wraps her arms around him. You can't help but feel envious, until Kenji walks out, hair messy and his bike helmet under his arm. Holding your breath, wondering if you should go up to him, his eyes scan the area, like he's looking for someone, then they lock onto you. You can feel yourself shaking, worried he’d be upset that you're here, especially after not talking in a while. His expression is unreadable for a few moments and then he smiles, you can't tell what type of smile it was. Happy? Surprised? Hiding disappointment? He walks over to you, a mixture between his cologne and sweat wafts into your face when he stops in front of you. 

“What're you doing here?” he asks, his tone playful. 

“Just thought I’d pay a visit,” you breathe, shoving your shaking hands into your pockets. “You played really well today.” 

Before he can talk, the woman from before taps on your shoulder, you look and she quickly hands you a sticky note before smiling at Kenji and then walking off with her husband. Kenji raises an eyebrow, watching the woman leave and then looking at you. 

“What was that about?” he questions, chuckling softly. You read the note, squinting at her cursive handwriting. 

I can tell by the way he looks at you, he is so in love. Shoot your shot and if you need anything, call me :) 

Her phone number was left under those words. “Just a friend I made while waiting,” you respond, shoving the paper into your pocket. 

“Making friends now?” he nudges you, making you laugh softly. He must've found out about your loneliness a long time ago, something you both had in common but never spoke about. You walk out with him, passing by the other waiting wives. 

And of course, he invited you over and you agreed, almostly immediately. Needing release, from your thoughts (thick scaled viper squeezing at your flesh), from your pent up arousal after not seeing him in what felt like an eternity. You were the one that latched onto him first this time, most commonly he starts it. Sooner than later he has you on his bed, legs spread, one captured between his in an attempt to keep you stiil. He lays on the side of you, fingers buried in your cunt while his lips stay attached to your throat, your arms wrapped around his neck, holding him close. Cries of pleasure spill out your mouth, his name like a prayer on your lips. The sweetness from his kisses stuck on your tongue. Your back arches off the bed when your first peak washes over you, making you sob out his name sinfully as you always do, music to his ears. 

“You have no idea–” he grunts, his tip now nudging at your entrance before sliding into you slowly, his jaw clenches until he's fully inside you, “how good it felt to know you were watching me play.” 

He practically fucked you like he was thanking you, clearly appreciating your presence. For once your mind didn't wander other places(the viper loosened), too focused on the feel of his cock pressing against your sweet spot and his moans to even think about anything else. 

“Fuck,” he sighs, “My girl, my good girl.” Those simple words always made you crazy, a moaning mess in short. It sounded so filthy during the moment but afterwards, when he's bathing in the afterglow, chest heaving, the words leave his lips again, and they sound less sinful, more fond and tender. 

The next few weeks you ponder on what that lady had said to you, debating on texting her, asking her for more advice. As baseball started to come to a close, Kenji started having more availability. You started to invite him to more casual things, like coffee at your favorite cafe or a walk in the park just to talk. The whole time he was around you, a permanent smile worn on your face, he talked to you like you were more important than anyone in the world, however your time together was never long. This new feeling bubbled up inside you, happiness for once? Maybe excitement that you finally get to be around him without the sound of skin against skin. You invited him over to your place for some wine one night, sitting in your living room, music playing softly in the background while you two drank until your faces were warm and red. 

“Do you see other girls?” 

Fuck.

The question came off your drunken lips, a sober thought meeting your intociaxted mouth. You realized shortly after that you fucked up, quickly tensing up and waving your hands dismissively.

 “I'm sorry,” you rush, “that just came out, I don't really mind if you do, it wouldn't change anything.” His face was unreadable, but he turned to stare down into his glass. 

His response is simple, “No.” 

“You're the only one,” he continued after a few seconds, “I stopped seeing other people a while ago.” 

Your face heats up as if it wasn't hot enough already, a drunken smile on your lips, unnoticable by him. “Okay, sorry I asked,” you huff, deciding not to refill your glass this time, instead just setting it down on the coaster. 

“What about you?” 

His question probably catches you off guard as much as yours did. “I couldn't bring myself to do it,” you admit, “I did for a while but then things got complicated, so I cut everyone off, stopped going out to try and find sex and just settled with you.” 

The silence is uncomfortable for a moment, until he speaks again. “Why?” simple, just like his response.

 You bit your lip, staring at him and then looking away to avoid eye contact. “I….” you didn't want to admit anything now, not when you're intoxicated at least, “I just didn't want to see anyone else.” 

He's silent again but then he hums, drinking down the final drops of red liquid before sitting back on your couch. “Come here,” his voice is quiet but strong, beckoning to his side with his hand. You hesitate but slide over to him, laying your head on his chest as his arm comes to wrap around your waist. Thoughts swarm your head (the viper slithers into action once again), but they are quieted when he speaks again (the ear bleeding hiss, silenced).

“I didn’t wanna see anyone else either.” 

Mentally you smile, physically you probably made a weird face he couldn't see but you stayed quiet, listening to his heartbeat through his clothes.

𓆙

The thought about what that lady said to you lingered in your mind. You’ve known Kenji for a year now, fucked him for a year now, at this point you shoudlve told him, save yourself the suffering. The winter was long, nights growing ever the more longer, you found yourself reaching out to him for warmth rather than just sex. 

And to your surprise, you came home after work to a freezing apartment, your heater had broken leaving you with nothing but sleepless nights in your freezing bed. You had complained to company numerous times until they finally got someone to come by and take a look, and to make things worse, it would take longer than usual for them to fix. You weren't really sure why, you weren't the only one having this problem in the complex, numours people had left because they were taking so long to fix them. Out of options, and exhausted, you called Kenji. You were worried he would decline but he agreed without hesitation. So, you packed up some clothes, your necessities and headed to his house that night.  

It was safe to say he was pleased by your company, upon living alone himself, despite having a supercomputer floating around, he still loves you being around. He respected your space, fed you, made sure you knew where everything was. Mina would talk to you when he was gone, you freely asked her questions about him, oftentimes she would give you a schedule of what he had going on today and when he would be home. 

Before he would get home from whatever he was doing that day, you would cook for him on your days off of course. He’s a late eater, assumingly due to him coming home late from practice or games, so you always start cooking a few minutes before he arrives. He comes home, smiles when he sees you in the kitchen, walks over to you and snakes a hand around your waist, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead before disappearing somewhere into his huge house. Moments like those made you forget you weren't in an actual relationship, you don't even know what you would call it, friends were too simple, lovers were too complicated. Friends with benefits would be overlooking everything, you two were not close like friends but you two still hung out, had sex, no strings attached they would say. But still, there was never a right label to describe what you and Kenji were, so no labels were used, by either of you. 

Sleep was still hard to come to, difficult in such a large bed, you would turn to your side, expecting him to be there but he wasn't. Sometimes you would hear a faint beeping sound, then some rustling outside your room, a low rumble below you and then silence. It happened often, not so often it was repetitive, but often enough it made you curious, too curious.

 One night after the rumbling stopped, you left your room, tentatively heading to his room. You opened the door to see his bed was empty, your heartbeat quickened, slowly stepping into his room until Mina called your name from behind you. “Where’s Kenji?” you ask, shutting the door softly behind you. 

“His father asked for him,” she says simply, “you should go back to bed.” You were suspicious, there was no way his father was calling him at two in the morning, his dad was old but not that old that he couldn't take care of himself. However, you listened, heading back to your room, opening the curtains of the massive windows to look out at the ocean, something you always found peace in.

And then, you heard him come home around an hour later, hesitantly you go out to greet him. You catch him right as he’s about to go to his room, making him stop in his tracks and stare at you. He takes in your slightly exposed form, all you had on was a shirt and panties, acting as if he hasn’t seen you naked before. 

“You’re up?” He questioned, his face confused, he looked guilty of something. You stare at him for a few moments, blinking tiredness out of your eyes until you settle with a sigh, not questioning where he’s been. 

“I can’t sleep,” is what you settle with, yawning to make it more believable. A soft smile graces his face, and then he beckons you to follow him, so you do. For once since high school, you sleep in until noon, face buried in his chest, inhaling his intoxicating scent. 

You knew something was up, you’ve always been good at figuring things out and Kenji was a terrible liar, also terrible at hiding things in general. You wanted to be respectful, mind your business and not act like an overbearing lover, if that’s what you would even call yourself, but you were desperate to know his little secret. That viper squeezed a little tighter these past few days.

 So you waited for him to come home after disappearing, sitting up in his bed with the lamp on, you had grown accustomed to sleeping with him rather than in your own bed, after all it was just a few more days until your heater got fixed and you wanted to savor this feeling as long as possible. Mindlessly scrolling on your phone, watching all the news about Ultraman and the recent, ongoing Kaiju attack. The door opened up to his handsome face, a visible cut on his lip still bleeding. Then it clicked for you, his awkwardness when coming in, the surprised look he had on his face. When he got in bed you hesitated to speak, but then he spoke for you. 

“I’ve been keeping something from you,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck.

 “I’ve noticed…” you respond, trailing off slowly. You watch him seemingly debate with himself mentally, biting his cheek. He wets his lips with his tongue, some of the blood smearing but going unnoticed, he’s vulnerable right now, you tread carefully.

 “Kenji, you can tell me anything you know,” you hum, putting your phone down, “nothings gonna change my view of you or whatever.” 

“I’m Ultraman,” he blurts, looking more surprised than you. The expression on your face is probably what made him nervous, really he didn’t know what response you would give him. 

“Oh,” you say, quickly softening your face, “um well that’s something.” He looks at you, waiting for you to continue. “Still, that doesn’t change anything,” you continue, pushing the blankets off and crawling on top of him, straddling him. 

You cup his face, your thumb on his bottom lip, wiping off the excess blood. “You’re still the same Kenji I know,” you sigh, wiping the blood off on your shirt. He makes a face, like he’s surprised but disgusted by what you had done, he starts to smile slowly.

 “Being a…twenty foot tall metal man doesn’t change how I feel about you,” your words make him raise a brow and it was then when you realized what you had just said. “And how do you feel about me?” He teases, grabbing your hips to hold on to you, his demeanor shifting slightly.

“The same way I always have,” you quickly try to change the subject, planting a kiss on his lips, “anyways you should get some sleep.” He holds you still, his grip on you tightening as you try to get off of him. 

“I’m not tired,” he coos, running a hand up your shirt to feel the bareness of your body. 

“Well I am,” you remark playfully, squishing his face with your hand before getting out of his grasp and settling down beside him. You reach over and then turn the lamp off, pulling the blankets back over you and closing your eyes. His secret was safe with you, and the fact that he was so trusting of you made you think, maybe it really isn't just his libido. Kenji stares at your back, a concerned expression on his face before he wraps his arms around you, pulling you in. 

Your heater was fixed just a few days later and you left Kenji’s place with a heavy heart, standing in his doorway with your bag in your hand. It was weird, how you felt, that viper had become still for a moment and then it was back, hissing and sinking its fangs into your already hurting brain. You didn't know when you would see him again, but you knew it would be soon. 

The night before you left, Kenji had shown you a picture, his face a mixture of emotions. “Who’s this?” you ask, pointing at the woman next to him, it was a dumb question but as stated before, you dont assume. 

“My mother,” he responds plainly, the underlying hurt heard in his voice. He’s hurting, you can tell, and he's vulnerable. You dont push, instead you compliment her. 

“She's beautiful,” your eyes scan over her still face in the picture, noticing the same, signature beauty mark Kenji has, “I see where you get your looks from.” A soft chuckle escaped his lips, smiling fondly. 

The vulnerability he showed while you were staying at his house, made you fall ever more in love with him and it made you sick, the venom seeping into your brain and spreading throughout your body. 

𓆙

Rain pours down outside, loudly pelting against the windows, sounding like hail. The sound drums loudly in your ears, making your head hurt for once. The grayish blue lighting seeps into the expansive space of Kenji’s living room, the city fogged and rain wrapped in the distance. 

Placed on his lap, legs on either side, straddling him fully clothed, damp from the downpour outside. His clothes sticking to his skin, his chest and torso exposed under the soaked white fabric, visible to your searching eyes. Black panties pressed against his crotch, not in a teasing manner. Your shirt sticks to your skin but loosens as it dries in the chill of the room. Kenji’s eyes, gray and lustrous, staring up at your warm face, strong grip on your hips. His head rests on the arm rest, lifting it enough so he could get a good view of your precious body.  

The viper is still, its fangs frozen deep in your consciousness. 

His lips part, glossed over from the rain as well as his chapstick, he starts to speak. “You look so pretty like this,” he breathes, reaching up to feel your body, an empty canvas waiting to be painted, to be marked. 

You shift, eliciting a rather warm noise from him, a moan in short. His cock desperately wanting freed from the prison of his pants. The fabric of his pants rubs against your throbbing clit through your panties, making you hum a soft tune of anticipation. The viper moves, its teeth itching further into your ruined brain. Chewing on your bottom lip, you move again, a little rougher this time. 

“You’re tense,” he randomly points out, making you freeze, “relax, baby.” 

“I am relaxed,” you remark, rutting against his clothed cock again. 

“No, you're extremely tense, I can see it,” he pushes on, his voice hoarse, “keep your shoulders down.” 

“I’m frustrated,” you admit, dipping your head down so all he sees is your hair while you mindlessly tug at his pants. He watches you, lifting his hips so you can pull his pants and boxers down to his knees. 

“Then tell me,” he says suddenly, “tell me your frustrations, ride them out on me.” 

“Fuck,” you breathe, “I hate you.” You move your panties to the side, slowly sinking down on him with a delightful moan. 

He hums, watching you slowly grind against him, his tip already nuzzling against your sweet spot. The viper moves again, this time its scaled body curls around, tears suddenly stinging your eyes. This is the type of sex you liked, sensual, slow, the type he always gave to you. You grab one of his hands, interlocking your fingers together in a warm grasp, letting his hand rest near his head while you use it to steady yourself. “So beautiful,” he purrs, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze, his other still gripping your hips. 

“I hate how good you make me feel–” you cut yourself off with a shaky gasp, “and how–how…” He raises an eyebrow, watching you with an amused expression, waiting for you to continue. “Mmhm,” he hums, eyes closing briefly, devouring the feeling of your walls around his cock. 

“You stress me out so much and you don't even know it,” you shudder, your body relishing the way he throbbed inside you, poking at your spot, “you really have no idea.” Playful banter at first, at least that's what he assumed, but you couldn't stop talking, couldn't keep your mouth shut. 

“So I'm the cause of your frustration?” he asks, his voice sickeningly sweet and playing his part, a melody to your ears. You gasp, lifting your hips and then sinking back down on him again, slow and steady. 

“Yes,” you whine hoarsely, “you're on my mind all the time, you have no idea how annoying it is.” His expression softens, going from a small smirk to a slight frown, he’s trying to debate if you were being serious or if you were still being playful. 

“I'm on your mind…?” he questions, sounding unsure, a deep groan breaks from his throat. 

“Fuck yes, all the fucking time,” theres a throb in your heart, “your like a fucking snake, squeezing my mind—mmmh—making my head hurt.” 

“You have no idea how bad I want you,” you whimper, throwing your head back when you feel him suddenly buck up into you. 

“But you have me already,” his voice is gentle, as sweet as candy, understanding. 

“No, I don't,” you roll your hips, squeezing his hand, “No–” His other hand comes to caress your bare skin, sneaking up your wet shirt, his sounds of pleasure starting to pick up in volume. You clench around him. 

“I don't understand,” he hums, “I'm right here, underneath you, feeling your body. I'm real, my love.” 

“Don't call me that,” you hiss, “please.” Your plea ends in a whine rather than a firm word, his expression completely changes. 

“Do we need to stop?” puzzled, he sounds concerned. “No!” you exclaim, a little louder than you intended. “No, please don't stop, I don't wanna stop.”

He gives you a questioning look, but allows you to continue riding him, your orgasm starting to build up deep within you. “I don't have you, Kenji,” you keep talking, suddenly feeling a whole new wave of confidence, maybe it was your mind torn between pleasure and the truth, maybe you finally realized it's time, “and it's killing me.” 

Endearing, that's what he thinks as you ride out your truth on him, spilling from both your cunt and tongue, staining him once again, but this time he can taste it, feel it, bathe in it. “You don't get it,” you sigh, keeping up with a steady pace, trying to bite back moans as you speak to him breathlessly. 

He doesn't talk, doesn't say a single word, why would he need to if you can see it in his eyes? He wants to know more, wants you to keep going. “Im tired–tired of this,” heat pools in your stomach, the feeling of release drawing ever closer, “shit..”

“I've been keeping this quiet for so long, too scared to tell you anything because–because I didn't know what you would say or do,” the viper freezes, your orgasm approaching, tears starting to fall down your cheeks, onto his shirt.

A mixture between pleasure and pain falls onto him in drops, he reaches up, wiping your tears with his thumb. You grab his hand, holding it on your face while you start to ride him quicker, desperately. 

“I'm in love with you,” you finally say, coming out more as a choked out sob than simple words,”I always have been.” You open your eyes hesitantly, looking down at him, unable to read his face. Expressive as he is, he had no physical reaction, he just stared at you, blankly. 

“I’m sorry,” you sob, “I know I just ruined everything, but I needed—fuck—needed to tell you before i dug a deeper hole.” His hand still remained on your face, flush against the warmth of your cheeks. Then he smiles, soft and understanding, a mix of relief in there too. 

You erupt into a whiny sob, digging your nails into the back of his hand. Your climax comes over you, a viper shedding its old, dulled, colorless scales into something new, bright, and colorful. Rebirth. 

While you're riding out your orgasm, pulling his out of him too, he sits up, quickly adjusting himself, and he captures your lips into a kiss, passionate and heartfelt. Your arms curl around his neck, sobbing against his lips as you kiss him back, your grinding coming to a slow even pace and then stopping completely. 

“I love you too,” he says, pulling away from your swollen lips, “as I always have.” 

Kenji is a terrible liar, you can see in his eyes, he's telling the truth. More tears well up in your eyes, body shaking, tremors from your orgasm. 

And then you cry again, a mixture between happiness and sadness, apologizing profusely as he pulls you in for a tight embrace, your tears staining his shirt that was once soaked with rain water. 

°｡ ⋆༺𓆙༻⋆｡ °°｡ ⋆༺𓆙༻⋆｡ °°｡ ⋆༺𓆙༻⋆｡ °

[writinginatree]

Daggers & Distractions

Relationship(s): Bodhi Durran & fem!Riorson!reader, pre-relationship Garrick Tavis/fem!Riorson!reader

Summary: Your best friend Bodhi teases you about your crush on Garrick, which has you a little too distracted on the mat.

Warnings: Swearing, blood & injury, a tiny bit of self-depreciation if you squint. Set when Bodhi and reader are in their first year.

(Prequel to Kisses & Confessions, but can be read independently)

"You're doing it again," Srian drawled in your head, voice dripping with annoyance.

You blinked, snapping out of the almost trance-like state you'd been in and forcing your focus back on your sparring session.

"I'm not doing anything," you lied, even as your gaze already drifted toward where Garrick was sparring with your brother once more. You just couldn't help it.

"If you don't stop ogling the male—"

"Why don't you just mind your own business?" you interrupted her.

"It is my business if my rider fails at her hand-to-hand training."

"I'm not—"

Your back collided with the mat, knocking the breath out of you. Gods damn it.

"You're distracted." Bodhi stood over you, eyebrows raised and the hint of a smirk playing around his lips.

"Srian won't shut up."

"I don't think Srian is the problem," he said with a pointed glance a few mats over.

The tiny smirk turned into a shit-eating grin when you only glared at him in response. There was no point denying it when he knew damn well what — or rather who — had distracted you.

"I hate you."

Bodhi laughed and extended his hand to help you up, before getting back into a fighting stance. "Maybe we should switch to a mat with a less interesting view, huh?"

The view had had his back to you so far, but now he spun around as he pushed Xaden to the ground, and your eyes met for a second. You quickly looked away, cheeks burning.

Bodhi was right. Being in plain sight of a shirtless Garrick was detrimental to your ability to focus. Not that it was much better when his shirt was on. Even when he wasn't anywhere nearby, he was always on your mind. It was starting to turn into a serious problem, if you were completely honest with yourself. What had been nothing more than a harmless crush at the beginning of the year was rapidly progressing into something much more serious. No amount of avoiding Garrick or pretending to be interested in other random guys seemed to help.

"Or you can keep staring at him and hope he notices."

Bodhi's words brought you back to the here and now.

"No!"

Anything but that. You would die of embarrassment if Garrick noticed your interest in him.

Bodhi rolled his eyes. You could only imagine how annoying it must be for him to watch as you pined after Garrick without ever making a move, but it just wasn't that simple. Not just that being your brother's best friend made him off limits, you also had to admit — if only to yourself — that the second-year was way out of your league. Besides, you were still hoping this pathetic crush would eventually fade.

"What a wonderful world it would be if it did," your dragon sighed. "I do wish you would hurry up and get over him. Or fuck him. Maybe if you knew what it's like you wouldn't have to constantly think about it."

"What I do or don't think about is absolutely none of your business, Srian! None!"

"Then do us both a favor and get better at shielding."

"I'm working on it! Now get out of my head and let me get back to sparring."

"I'm not the reason you're taking a break," she huffed, an unfriendly reminder that it had been you who'd distracted yourself.

But now you would focus. For real this time.

You pulled your daggers. What you and Bodhi had been doing so far was just the warm-up — now it was time to get serious. No more fooling around, no more distractions. You had to take this seriously. The next round of challenges was only two days away, and last time you had almost gotten your ass kicked. You desperately needed this training session.

"Let's get on with it."

"Sure," Bodhi laughed. "If you're done staring at Garrick."

You didn't bother responding to his teasing, and attacked instead.

A few minutes into the fight, movement behind Bodhi caught your eye, and you made the mistake of glancing past him for a second. It was Xaden and Garrick walking past, apparently done with their training for the day, and despite their shirts being back on, you couldn't help the way your gaze lingered on Garrick. He was watching you and Bodhi, a slight smile on his face, and you wondered what he was thi—

A sharp pain in your left arm brought your attention back to where it should be: on Bodhi and the dagger in his hand, which was now dripping blood.

The cut on your arm was about as long as your hand, but thankfully didn't seem very deep. Still, the amount of blood flowing out was considerable, and you quickly put your hand over it, cringing at the pain.

"Shit! Are you okay?"

"See? This is exactly what I was talking about earlier," Srian quipped in your head at the same moment.

Instead of responding to her, you slammed your mental shields into place, blocking her out as best as you could, which admittedly wasn't all that well yet. Luckily she decided to leave you be.

"I'm fine," you told Bodhi. "Just a scratch."

"Doesn't look like a scratch to me," your brother said before Bodhi could answer, having approached with Garrick.

All the blood that wasn't currently flowing out your arm shot to your face at the realization what a fool you'd made of yourself. You could only pray they didn't realize why it had happened.

"Well... a big scratch," you conceded. "No big deal, though."

Big deal or no, Xaden had that look on his face that meant you were about to get a lecture. Sure enough you barely finished the thought when he already started. "What the fuck were you even doing?! That attack would have been easy enough to block."

"Wasn't paying attention I guess," you muttered, giving Bodhi a pleading look. You knew he knew exactly why you hadn't been paying attention. Helping you out of being questioned about it by Xaden — right in front of Garrick, no less — was the least he could do to make up for accidentally cutting you.

Bodhi rolled his eyes, but slung his arm around your shoulders and said, "Come on, I'll take you to the healers. I think that scratch might need stitches."

"And whose fault is that?" you retorted, glaring at him.

"Your own."

Xaden doubtlessly wanted to scold you more, but allowed Bodhi to lead you away. He'd probably come find you later to give you a thorough talking-to about not letting yourself get distracted, but as long as he didn't do it in front of Garrick, you wouldn't mind. You supposed you deserved it. This kind of shit could get you killed around here, especially in the middle of a fight. It was about time you got this stupid crush under control — preferably before something like this happened again. As handsome as Garrick was, if you got yourself killed because you were too distracted staring at him, you wouldn't be able to look at him at all anymore.

Glancing back over your shoulder, you saw him talking to Xaden, their eyes on you. Talking about the idiotic way you just hurt yourself, no doubt.

"Kill me, Bodhi," you whined as soon as you were out of earshot.

"No, thanks."

"Please! That was so fucking embarrassing!"

Your asshole of a best friend just shrugged. "That's what you get for staring at Garrick all the time. I honestly don't know how no one else noticed it yet. You're, like, obsessed!"

"I'm not obsessed! I just have a tiny little crush, okay?!"

"Right... As tiny as that cut on your arm."

"Fuck off."

You went to take the turn that would lead you to the dormitories, having no intention of actually seeing a healer for your injury. It might have been a bit more than a scratch, okay, but it was nothing you couldn't handle on your own. But Bodhi grabbed you by the back of your shirt and continued on into the direction that would get you to the bridge connecting your quadrant to the main college.

"Bodhi—"

"Nuh-uh. We are going to the healers, and don't even try to argue with me."

"But I hate getting stitches! And it's not even that bad, so—"

"You either let me take you to the healers or I'm telling Garrick that he's the reason you were so distracted. I'm sure he'd love to hear all about your little crush."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Wouldn't I?" Bodhi challenged, continuing down the hall with you in tow.

"That— That's blackmail!"

"Mhm, I guess it is."

"I hate you."

"Yeah, yeah. You said that already. But I have some chocolate in my room, and if you let them patch you up without being a baby about it I'll share with you."

"Hmm, okay... In that case... Let's go!"

[hischiershoe]

hi can I request a Nico blurb for your blurb night using the prompts "So what? You're dating them now?" and "Is it not obvious? Am I doing something wrong?"

I tweaked the second dialogue a bit to fit better, I hope that's okay! i kind of struggled with this one but i hope you enjoy it <3 Warnings: angsty and dialogue heavy

Breaking things off with Nico was one of the hardest things you've had to do, but you knew it had to be done. The arrangement the two of you had, the whole 'no strings' thing, wasn't working for you anymore. You wanted all of him, not just the him you got when you were tangled beneath his sheets, but you were painfully aware that he didn't want all of you. After all, it was his idea to keep things strictly physical all those months ago.

It was easy to avoid Nico when you knew what circle he ran in, but it seemed as if fate had other ideas on this particular night. You had let one of your friends rope you into going out with her and a few others, but what she conveniently left out was she had invited a guy she knew was interested in you. You didn't mind, at first, and you even entertained his flirtatious remarks or subtle touches. For a second, you let yourself forget about all things Nico Hischier, but then you saw him walk through the door and the idea was swept out from under your feet.

Nico saw you the second he stepped inside, and he felt like all of the air had been sucked out of his lungs. You were standing at one of the tall tables, the same drink you always ordered in hand, wearing a pair of jeans that he’d all but ripped off of you two weeks ago. You looked beautiful, you always did to him, and every nerve in his body was yelling at him to go talk to you. However, when Nico finally zeroed in on the way some random guy's arm was thrown over your shoulder, he nearly tripped over his own feet.

Anyone who laid eyes on Nico would be able to tell that he was bursting at the seams with jealousy. He was standing at the back of the bar, his fists white knuckling the beer in his grasp and his jaw wound so tight it was starting to hurt. He had been so focused on glaring at the guy who wouldn’t leave a foot between you that he completely blew off the girl that was fighting for his attention. Every so often he’d make an attempt to catch your wandering gaze, but it was almost as if you were avoiding his on purpose.

You were. You knew the second you made eye contact it would be over for you. It was already taking every ounce of willpower you had to not ditch the man next to you and go talk to him. Just because you knew ending things him was for the best, doesn't mean you were immune to the effect he'd had on you. You were drawn to him in the same way a magnet was attracted to metal. No matter how hard you tried to resist, he was always pulling you back in. It was easy to ignore when he wasn't around, but this was the first time you'd seen him since that night and your self-control was being tested to its highest ability.

"I think I'm going to get some air," You called to your friends around you, discarding the empty cup in the trash can.

You couldn't stop your gaze from sliding to Nico, and you immediately regret it when you did. A girl you vaguely recognized from your various visits to the bar was practically hanging off of his arm, her smile wide and tempting as she tried to grab his attention. Though Nico wasn't giving it to her, his eyes fixated on you in a way that made you feel like he was waiting for you to give him some sort of bait to latch on to.

"Do you want me to come with you," Matt hastily asked, eyes bright and hopeful.

"No, it's okay," You politely decline, ignoring the pang of guilt in your chest when his face fell, "I just need a second by myself, but I'll be right back."

You can feel Nico's burning gaze on your back as you slip through the door that leads to the nearly empty patio, and you know what that means. Though, if you were being honest with yourself, it was exactly what you wanted to happen.

When Nico joins you outside, he doesn't say anything as he hovers a few feet away from you. You force yourself to focus on the gravel beneath your feet, waiting for him to make the first move, but you can't help but feel a small wave of nostalgia wash over you. It was almost the exact situation from when the two of you met for the first time, bar the obvious thick blanket of tension surrounding the two of you now.

"So what? You're dating him now," He practically spits out, as if putting it into words was poison on his tongue.

"No, Nico," You take a deep breath, crossing your arms against your chest as you finally turn to face him, "I'm not dating him. I'm here with my friends."

"Doesn't look like you two are just friends," He gruffly points out with his hands shoved into his pockets.

Nico had never been a jealous person before, but with you? With you, the sheer idea of you being with someone other than him made him want to hurl. He knows he has no right to feel that way, especially when it had been him who suggested the two of you be nothing more than hookups. It was he who said there shouldn't be any feelings, but that doesn't mean he followed through.

"Well, we are," You firmly reiterated, brows knitted together, "I don't know why it matters. It's not like you care."

Nico was visibly thrown off at your comment, his eyes squinting in confusion and his mouth dropping open in slight disbelief. While he hadn't exactly expected you to know how he felt, he never thought you would assume he didn't care.

"I do care," He breathes out, taking a few small steps until only a few inches separate you.

"Could've fooled me," You mumbled, trying to keep your voice steady as you subtly hint at the girl from inside.

"Well, I didn't think you would care," Nico scoffs, running an exasperated hand through his hair, "You're the one who ended things."

"Because I was tired, Nico," You weakly admit, shoulders falling in defeat, "I told you that."

"You did, but you didn't tell me why," He tries, his voice woven with cracks and his eyes swimming in regret, "Was I doing something wrong?"

The way Nico was looking at you, like whatever you said next was going to make or break him, made a sense of hope swell in your chest. It made you wonder if you made the right choice in ending things rather than telling him how you felt. Maybe, just maybe, it would've gone the way you spent hours dreaming of and all of this could've been avoided.

"No," You shook your head, tears lining your eyes as you take a shaky breath, "You didn't do anything wrong. I did. Was it not obvious? I broke rule number one of this whole thing and developed feelings for you so I-"

He cut you off by calling out your name, delicately grasping at your elbow as his eyes dance across your face, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You said you didn't want more," You choke out, pulling your hands up to wipe away at the tears that slid down your cheeks, "You told me that it was strictly sex, and I respected that, but I couldn't keep putting myself through that when I wanted more."

"I know I said that," He thickly swallows, keeping his voice low and shifting himself so you're out not in the eye line of the strangers outside, "I know, and I wish I didn't because it wasn't true then, and it's not true now. I always wanted more, but I was worried that was all you would want from me. That's usually how it's always gone before."

Your heart cracks at Nico's casual admission, at how easily the words slide off his tongue as if they weren't absolutely gut-wrenching. All this time, the two of you had been protecting your hearts from each other when you should've been letting each other in. Without another thought, you surge forward and loop your arms around him, burying your face in his neck as he pulls you closer to him.

He's holding you so tightly that you can barely breathe, almost as if he was afraid you were going to walk away from him again, but you didn't care. You didn't care if he squeezed all of the air out of your lungs if it meant being with him.

"Nico," You murmur as you pull away, peering up at him through glassy eyes, "Can we leave? I don't care where we go, I just want to go with you."

"I'll go anywhere with you," He wantonly admits, moving one of his hands to cup your jaw as he chastely kisses your temple, "I just need to tell Timo to find another ride home."

[amourtoken]

YES PLS MORE THOTS ABOUT THROATING LUKE

I need with every fiber in my being to be taught how to give head by him while he absolutely nonstop makes fun of my terrible gag reflex

I NEED TO BE THROAT TRAINED PLEASE

-glen powell’s other baby mama 😘

(Tell our husband it's his weekend w the kids I need a fucking break 😭)

throat training with Luke would be so much rougher than you'd expect in the best way possible.

Things would start off a bit softer sure but if we're being honest Lukey gets a little impatient when he realizes he can't just shove your head down and fuck your throat how he wants right away. You've never done this before, he's gotta take it slow. You look so pretty between his legs he almost forgets what he's there for, brushing stray strands of your hair back behind your ears before taking most of it into a hand in a makeshift ponytail so he can control your movements a bit better. His other hand is holding his cock up to your lips, slowly stroking himself while you tentatively press open mouthed kisses all over his tip.

"Baby that's nice- but I need a lil more. Open."

the second your mouth is open he's slapping his length on your tongue, the salty sweet taste of his pre spreading across and making you squeeze your legs together for a little friction. This is about him, you don't wanna mess up by asking him to touch you when you're supposed to be learning something. Luke uses the hand holding your hair to slowly guide your movements, taking a few inches of him into your mouth at a time. His hips would buck a little too hard and you'd brace your hands on his thighs, pulling away to try and fight off the gag wracking your body. Strings of saliva connected you to his cock as you pulled back and the tears that quickly welled up in your eyes made you look so pathetic Luke almost came right then and there.

"Really? Can't even take a third of it without gagging? We've got a lot to work on if you're gonna let me fuck that pretty mouth how I wanna, babe"

Luke drags you back in as you wipe the tears off your cheeks with the back of your hand, tapping his tip against your lips to get you to open up again.

"Relax for me, I know it's big but you can take it. I'll be slow- promise."

You should've known he was lying from his tone but your heart was buzzing in your ears too loud to think twice. He did start slow, but it didn't last long by any means. It took no time for him to have both hands full of your hair pushing your head to meet his hips as he thrust up into your mouth. Every time he hit the back of your throat you'd gag and whine, fat tears running down your face as you tried so hard to take it for him. The vibration from your little noises only pulled him closer to his edge, his thrusts growing erratic and what little self control he was employing fading quickly. You could feel his length pulsing in your mouth right before he came but you barely had time to enjoy it as he shoved your head all the way down on him.

Luke's cum spilled down your throat while you struggled to breathe through your nose and fight off your gag reflex, fresh waves of tears flooding your eyesight but the noises that fell from his lips seemingly made this all worth it. Your nose pressed into the curls just above his cock before he drug you off of him by that same handful of hair, admiring the mess he's made of you before apologizing for getting so rough. You'll definitely need to do this a few more times, for practice of course.