#'why don't you want children' i already spent enough time teaching people (my age!) how to clean up after themselves honestly

[pietroleopoldo]

The problem with my life is that I am not the mom friend by choice it's just that my parents actually taught me how to be a functional human being

[textingtroublesanswers]

*Tala had other responses, mostly good, all with at least one curse word in there, but the warm and reassuring hand on her head and the alcohol in her system made it far too difficult to actually get the thoughts out her mouth in the form of words. All she could manage was a "you better..." before she nuzzled comfortably into Misha's hand and fell asleep. Half of her torso laid out over the table, her tears drying on the table and her cheeks, face squished against her left upper arm and shoulder.*

-🦖

"Scheiße."

"Da."

"We should take her to her room."

"Da."

"Alright, correction. You take her to her room, because my back still hurts."

"Understandable."

"Misha..."

"Da?"

"You yelled at me..."

"I did. I am sorry."

"Why does it matter to you so much what I feel about this?"

"I don't know... I don't want doktor to be upset."

"I don't think you can help with that by yelling at me."

"I know..."

"Then why did you do it?"

"Was upset. That doktor was comparing us."

"Hard not to."

"Nyet. Easy not to."

"Right, right. For you, it's easy."

"Why does doktor compare us?"

"I don't know. Because you're so much better at this than me? It's not that I'm not familiar with failure, it happens sometimes in my line of work. But this is... Personal. I feel that, no matter what I'll do, I will hurt those kids."

"Why?"

"Because I'm cursed."

"But doktor broke curse?"

"It's a different kind of curse, Misha. I don't want to become like my father, & like my grandfather before him, & like the rest of my bloodline. I don't want to be the father embittered by life, focused only on his job, hated by his Kinder. Humboldt women die in childbirth, & Humboldt men live on to be bitter, lonely old men who care for naught but money & status."

"Doktor is not like that."

"I know, but... But I still worry that they hate me. They adore you, & I don't blame them. It's hard not to adore someone like you. But I'm... I'm not enough, compared to you. You're the family man, the one who knows what he's doing. I'm the one who spent his entire life working, & doesn't even know how to be a good husband. I am so out of my depth here, & it scares me."

"Ludwig, I am family man because I have to be. Da, I always wanted children, but I know so much because I have to. Father told me to care for mama & sisters if he died, & he did, & we were left alone & I was still just young boy, barely at adult age. I had no other choice, but learn what I could."

"Teach me?"

"What?"

"Teach me. How to be better."

"Better? Do not think is possible."

"Mikhail..."

"You are already best you can be. You worry so much, you do not see it. But babies love you; you are loved."

"Do you mean it?"

"Da."

"Misha?"

"Da?"

"If you had the choice, would you still have picked me? Over thousands of other people?"

"Every time, Lutz."

"Me too."

"Good. Is nice to hear."

"It is."

"Now, we take Tala to room?"

"Ja, we do. The table is not a comfortable space for sleeping."

"Doktor would know."

"Oh, all too well! My back aches just thinking about it!"

"Doktor needs massage. After we take Tala to room."

"Doktor needs a nap, & his Heavy clearly does too."

"Ugh, da, big, long nap. Ugh."

"Misha."

"What? Cannot let beer go to waste."

"God forbid that Mann Co. shlop goes down the drain."

"Lalalala, no waste in this household."

"I love you."

"I love you too, doktor."

[booksandchainmail]

Pale 7.8 extra

Interesting, I think this is the first extra material we've had that is just normal text? (ie not in-universe writings, not multimedia)

Very interested to get to see more of Lucy's mom. So far we have her meeting Avery's parents... I wonder if Verona's dad was invited? Also curious if this is just a general getting to know child's friend's parents meeting, or if they want to talk over specific concerns

We were friends, before, as much because of the girls putting us in close proximity as anything.

I hadn't thought of Verona's mother as being friends with Lucy's, it's never come up before. Though I know my parents didn't remain close to any people they spent time with because I was friends with their children as a kid

“Don’t even get me started on work schedules,” Brett told her.

Taken by itself, nothing Verona's dad is saying would necessarily be a red flag, but combined with everything we've already seen of him it bothers me. Immediately going into complaining about work when asked what he does, the grousing about Verona that doesn't seem lighthearted to me...

“Is she getting along with either of the two more?” Connor asked.  He looked at Kelsey, who frowned.

don't dig for information like that! If there was something going on, let her tell you in her own time. Also, if Avery was dating one of the others, and they weren't out either, this would be a great way to tip off their parents.

It’s like her skin crawls if she’s in my company for more than five seconds, she runs off to her room or leaves the house at the next opportunity.

now this one is a red flag

“This was weeks of moments,” Brett said.  “I was looking things up and thinking about oppositional defiant disorder.”

of course you were

I can’t talk to her about my work, basic household needs, school and homework…

notably absent from this is her own interests. Why would your work be the first thing you think about talking with your child about?

So clever in many ways that she outsmarted her way out of doing well in school.

I consider this a valid strategy, if sometimes self-sabotaging

"She took up habitual lying…” “It’s that imagination,” Jasmine said.  “She had no outlet.  She stopped art, and she had nothing, so she started telling stories.”

...hmmm. Well obviously she can't do this now, and doesn't seem to need it, but I'm curious what was going on with that, if it was really just an over-active imagination.

Also, man but everything Brett says about Verona is framed in a negative light

Except, I suppose I’m lucky she’s slow to develop. She’s the most kid-like of the three, I think. A late bloomer.

hahahahahaha

“When she and Lucy were old enough to know how to navigate the web but young enough to not know about internet history, let’s just say the searches I saw raised a few eyebrows.  Only when Verona was there.”

yeah that tracks. Both for Verona's character and for that age range

“I thought about one of those wilderness survival retreats.  You know those?  Send the kid out into the woods to rough it, disconnect from technology and outside influences, make them build their own fires, teach them self-reliance and discipline, respect for authority?”

oh hate that. And I liked camping as a kid! But why the fuck are you bringing "respect for authority" into perfectly good outside time

He said that as much as I or Lucy might want to look at this as a resolution, a release, it isn’t. All of that stress and worry and lack of resolution is still there. It’s not fixed or better. She’s certainly not happier or healthier in the wake of it.

:( I'd like to think she got some closure from it... but she certainly isn't less stressed, though there are obviously extenuating circumstances

“I wanted to ask about Julie Hardy,” Connor said. “Going back to the subject of influences-”

...and this would be the catch with Avery's dad. And also the reason why Ms. Hardy's been so careful about interacting with her.

I was awkward and struggled and I tried on a lot of different hats and explored a lot of different identities as a way of diagnosing and trying to fix what was wrong with me.  When it was just regular puberty.

:|

“Avery has expressed some concerns to her mom.  I was hoping to get a clear picture about why, but… Brett’s take is only half a picture, isn’t it?”

good that they're talking about this, and not taking him at face value

Verona takes in stuff and digests it privately, and her mom’s similar to her in that. The thought processes behind the scenes can be impenetrable sometimes.

hmm. Not sure what I have to say here, but I want to leave a not for myself about similarities between Verona and her mother. Wonder if that's making things with her dad worse?

“I just-” Jasmine started, stopped, shook her head.  “If she’s going to be pushed to take action, I want it to be later.  When she’s equipped, educated, grounded and secure in herself.  Change the world, you know?”

I have some bad news for you about what's going on this summer

“And if you don’t have those things, that grounding, education, preparation, what happens?  Another Paul incident.”

or considerably worse

OH! New section! Lore section! Murderer section! Going to analyze this excruciatingly:

Non-italics likes John, which narrows it down to the Kennet Others (no one else knows him). "Everything falls into place" so there's more than just power at stake? Both Kennet and "the rest of us" are taken care of (wording seems to imply once italics takes the seat). Who is that? The rest of the Kennet Others? There's not all that many of them.

Hmm! “The girls. Miss picked some scarily good ones." This would imply to me that Miss was not part of their group. I'd already been leaning towards her not being involved, but this is further confirmation.

italics doesn't want to kill them. General antipathy to violence (would be weird for someone aiming for a war seat) or good feelings to them in particular?

italics was also opposed to the school. OH! finally answer to something someone asked me way back when I was speculating about why Miss picked the girls: if she was trying to keep them controlled, why give them access to the school. Well besides the fact that I'm less suspicious of Miss now, going to the school gives them access to knowledge and power that isn't routed through the murder suspects.

"playing our parts"... kinda makes me think Fae, but that's a tenuous connection. And "we all"... so there's more than just these two.

Very ominous all over!

[wesokkasimp]

impulsive (part one)

TW!! mild swearing, mentions of death, bad makeout scene

word count: 8766

You woke up to a splitting headache. For a few minutes you couldn’t concentrate on, much less remember, anything. All you could do was focus on the pounding in your head while you pitied yourself.

Then, it all started to come back, bit by bit. Azula had split off from you, Mai, and Ty Lee to find the Avatar, tasking the three of you with finding his friends. You had found and fought them pretty easily, but things took a turn for the worse when the sky bison flung your comrades into the water. You  were spared from the lake, but had been knocked unconscious by the male Water Tribe peasants toy. That was probably where your headache had come from. But that didn’t answer the question of where you were. Suddenly, your thoughts were cut off by a shout.

“Guys, something’s moving in the tent. I think she’s awake!”

Okay, that was definitely not Mai, Ty Lee, or Azula. Something wasn’t right.

You tried to sit up and stretch, but found that your hands had been bound. You realized that your ankles were bound, too. An uneasy feeling began to settle in your stomach. It couldn’t be…

The tent flaps began to shuffle. As an unfamiliar figure entered the vicinity, you caught bits and pieces of conversation. Spirits of the islands, now was not the time for a migraine. 

“Are you sure she’s awake?”

“She doesn’t look conscious…”

“Is she falling back asleep?”

“Hey! Whoever you are! Don't…”

****************************

You woke up again, this time with a milder headache and a clearer mind. Unlike the last time you woke up, you were not alone in the tent. The waterbender you had fought with Mai and Ty Lee was sitting by your feet. As if on cue, she noticed that you were no longer passed out.

“Hey, you’re awake again! How are you feeling?” the girl spoke, genuine concern lacing her voice.

“Who are you? Where did Mai and Ty Lee go?” you mumbled.

“My name’s Katara. You and your... group fought me and my brother yesterday. Sok- er, my brother hit you with his boomerang and you were knocked unconscious. Appa knocked your friends into the lake, and they were taking a while to get out of the water. We didn’t just want to leave you there, but we had to get going to see if Aang was alright. So we, um… Took you with us.” the evidently uncomfortable girl explained.

“What’s an Appa? Who’s Aang? And most importantly, who gave you the right to kidnap me!?” you barked at the now annoyed peasant.

“H-hey! We may have just saved your life, so I would be a little more grateful if I were you. My brother hit you pretty hard, I had to heal some of your head injuries after we set up camp. Appa’s our sky bison, and Aang is the Avatar. Y’know, the person you’re trying to kidnap?” the Water Tribe girl snarked.

Suddenly, a boy entered the tent. You recognized him from your fight at the lake the other day, and he looked similar to Katara. He must be her brother.

“Did she finally wake up? I heard shouting.” the boy asked his sister.

“Yeah, she did. Now, if you could kindly untie my hands I can leave and we can pretend this never happened,” you huffed, not wanting to waste another second with these low-life peasants.

“We can’t just let you go! You’ll probably try to kidnap Aang, and even if you don’t, you’ll definitely tell your little girl gang where we are! We need to stay here for a while so that Aang can learn earthbending, Toph said that he’d pick it up quicker if he learned all the basics in the same spot,” the boy sneered.

“Who are you? And who’s Toph?” you asked, seemingly innocent. In reality, you were gathering possibly useful information to give to Azula when you were finally released. 

They would release you, right?

“I’m Sokka, the guy that hit you in the head with a boomerang,” he stated smugly, pride washing over him as he watched you scowl. “Toph is… Well, I’ll just get her in here.”

After a few uncomfortable beats of silence with the waterbender, the boy entered the tent again, this time with a small girl following him.

“This is Toph. She’s teaching Aang earthbending,” Sokka sighed. He was clearly already exasperated.

You took in the girl standing above you. She was quite small and delicate looking. As your eyes traveled to her face, you noticed her eyes were glazed over. Realizing she was blind, you let out a hearty cackle.

“What’s so funny?” the girl demanded. It seemed she also had a bad temper.

“Oh, nothing,” you sighed. “I just think it’s a little funny that the best earthbending teacher the Avatar could find is a tiny blind girl.”

A chunk of earth shot up from the ground and smacked you square in the forehead the second you finished that sentence.

“Hey! H-how can you see where I am?” you squeaked. Perhaps you had underestimated this girl.

“I see everything with my feet, dunderhead. Ever heard of seismic sense? You’re lucky that’s all I did, because trust me, Princess, I’m capable of a lot more,” Toph chuckled.

Okay, this girl was definitely a force to be reckoned with. Your gut was telling you, and your gut never lied. You made a mental note to report all of this to Azula.

“Well, it’s been fun, but I really need to get going. I know you guys don’t trust me, you’d be fools if you did, but what are you going to do with me? I’m a world class combat expert, I’ve been in worse situations, so unless you're planning to keep an eye on me 24/7 and  putting better restraints on me I’ll probably escape by dawn,” you drawled. 

“She has a point, y’know. Azula is the princess of the Fire Nation- it would only make sense for her to have the best team of warriors money can buy,” Toph stated.

“Azula isn’t paying me,” you scoffed. “I’d never accept pay. Serving beside someone in the royal family so closely is the one of the highest honors someone could get- that’s payment enough.”

“You think hunting down and kidnapping the world's last hope for peace is honorable?” Katara said, shooting you the deadliest glare you’d ever received.

“The Avatar isn’t the world's last hope for peace. If the other nations would just cooperate with the Fire Nation-”

“How could you expect us to cooperate with conquest?” Katara screeched, cutting you off in the process.

“Look, now is not the time to get into this argument. Right now, we need to figure out what we’re gonna do with…?” Sokka sent you a questioning look as he realized you hadn’t shared your name yet.

“Y/N.” you sighed.

This may be harder than you initially thought.

****************************

The group had come up with a temporary plan. They replaced your rope restraints with earth ones Toph made. They already had a night watch system in place, so they decided that whoever was doing night watch would simultaneously watch you.

You didn’t get a wink of sleep that night, so lucky you got to stay up through all four shifts. Katara had the first shift. Her shift was uneventful, it seemed she didn’t have the best social skills. She reminded you of Azula in that way. A lot of ways, actually. They were both 14, powerful benders, and overshadowed their older brothers. You couldn’t be positive about anything, but you were pretty good at reading people, and from the small amount of time you’d spent with these four misfits you had picked up a bit of jealousy on Sokka's end. Probably because his sister was a bender and he wasn’t. It was understandable- you’d probably be jealous of your own older brother if he possessed bending and you didn’t, even if it was a weak element like water. Lucky for you, you had firebending, the most superior element. Although you supposed it would be nice to be an earthbender right now. You had been thinking for hours about a way to escape with your firebending, but so far it had been in vain.

The next person on the night watch was Sokka. Unlike Katara, he attempted to make small talk with you.

“So, how long have you known Azula?” the watertribe peasant questioned. You thought about the question, and after deciding there wasn’t a way your answer could be used against you later, you answered,

“About two months. She knew Ty Lee and Mai from The Royal Fire Nation Academy for Girls. I went there too, but we didn’t know each other. When her father asked her to hunt down her brother, she saw my name on the top of a list of elite soldiers. She asked me to join her team, and I accepted.”

“You were in the military?” Sokka asked. His eyes widened, probably wondering why someone as young as you was in the military. After all, you were only 16.

“Yup. My family was pretty poor, until some soldiers came to our house one day and saw my brother and I were firebending prodigies. We got moved to a fancy housing unit near the Fire Nation Royal Academies. After I graduated three years ago, I was enrolled into the military,” you answered. You didn’t know why you were telling him all this, but Sokka was surprisingly easy to talk to.

“Wow. I can’t imagine joining the military that young. In the Southern Water Tribe the minimum age for joining is 17,”  Sokka replied. “I actually tried to join when I was 13, but my father made me stay.”

“That was a mistake on your tribe's part. You’re a strong, able, young man. You could’ve been trained in a few months and then your tribe would’ve had another set of hands,” you stated cooly. 

The boy only hummed in response. He knew it was pointless to try and get you to understand why sending a child into battle was wrong. He knew how the Fire Nation carefully bred its children to be cold-hearted, logical, and violent. Yet he couldn’t help but feel that there was something different about you. On the surface, you seemed like every other Fire Nation noble he’d come across: arrogant, cocky, and ruthless. But underneath, he saw more. Remorse? Guilt? Like you knew in your gut that what you were doing was wrong, but the Fire Nation had trained you to trust them and only them? He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he had seen something similar in Zuko. It was more apparent in you, though.

The rest of Sokka's shift went without a word. The third shift belonged to the Avatar himself. This was the first time you really got a good look at the boy. He was shorter than you expected, but besides his height everything about him radiated maturity. You thought about what he had gone through to get that maturity- learning about the genocide of his people a century after it happened, the Northern Water Tribe fiasco, and being hunted down by two of the worlds most powerful firebenders. All in a few months, on top of the normal stresses of being the Avatar. You felt a pang of sympathy for the boy. Even if your loyalties belonged to the Fire Nation, you had never thought the genocide of the Air Nomads was anything less than barbaric, even if you would never dare say that out loud. But the Fire Nation had evolved for the better. Things were different now.

Right?

“You must hate me,” you chuckled darkly. Your voice was humorless.

Aang looked confused as he asked “Why would I hate you?”

“I’ve been hired by someone to kidnap you, and wholeheartedly agree with what they're doing. Don’t worry. I’d hate me too,” you replied.

“I don’t hate anybody. I could only hate someone that truly had no good in them, but there’s good in everyone. Even you,” the monk said. He smiled up at you.

You were surprised at his words. You shouldn’t have been. He was a pacifist monk, after all. Not many people had ever tried to see good in you. Why would they? You were a soldier that served your nation loyally. Nothing more, nothing less. There didn’t need to be good in you. In fact, it was better if there wasn’t any good or bad in you. As long as you stayed loyal and obeyed the Fire Nation, everyone seemed perfectly content with leaving you be. 

The rest of Aang's shift went by without another word between the two of you until the very end. Aang started to stand, eager to get back to sleep, when you started to speak,

“Hey! I just wanted to, um, apologize.”

Aang's eyes widened in surprise. Was it possible? Has his ~inspirational~ words touched your heart this quickly? Reversed the years of brainwashing and abuse the Fire Nation had exposed you to? Maybe you would even willingly join their team! Maybe-

He was cut off by your explanation, “What happened to your people, I mean. Not, uh, trying to kidnap you.”

“Oh,” the young Avatar replied. “It’s alright. It’s not like it was your fault.”

Okay, not exactly what he was looking for. But hey, at least there was some good in you. Not wanting a race of people to be brutally murdered or wishing an entire culture to be wiped out was… a start.

Finally, the fourth shift started. Toph. You didn’t have much respect for any of these kids, but Toph was definitely the one who had garnered most of your respect. Despite her lack of sight, Toph was the most powerful earthbender you had ever seen. In a way, her blindness enhanced her abilities by heightening her other senses. She didn’t take shit from anyone, which was something you were insecure about. Being in the Fire Nation militia, you had to take shit from your superiors, unless you wanted to be discharged. Or worse.

It seemed that Toph was not a morning person, so about 25 minutes after her shift started, Toph dozed off.

For a second, you couldn’t believe your eyes. What luck after such a pitiful few hours! But there was still the problem of your restraints. You hadn’t really taken in the campsite, as you had thought you wouldn’t have the chance to escape. While you were looking around, a sharp rock caught your eye. Perfect.

After scooting over to the rock, which took more time than you would like to admit, you raised your arms and brought them down hard upon the rock. The restraints broke instantly. After doing the same with your ankles, you surveyed the land. You figured you only had about an hour until somebody woke up, so you had to get moving quickly. You had a pretty good sense of direction, and that sense was telling you to go west of the campsite. You began spriniting in that direction. You knew you wouldn’t be able to sprint like this for long, but you had to get a head start. Once “Team Avatar” realized you had left, they might go looking for you on their giant flying bison.

 ****************************

You had been traveling for two days now. You weren’t anxious about a Team Avatar member hunting you down anymore. That was a worry of the past. Now you were more concerned with getting something to eat. You had  found some hope when you came across a town, only to be disappointed after finding it was abandoned. Even though you were hungry and thirsty, you were also absolutely exhausted, and this town could provide shelter. You walked into the first building you saw, ready to pass out as soon as you hit the floor. In fact, you were so completely out of it that you didn’t notice the building was already occupied. You simply entered, found a nice corner, and hit the deck.

While you may not have noticed the other occupants of the decrepit building, they noticed you. Well, one of them. A certain banished prince, to be exact. 

He watched as you slept, not even sparing him a glance before you fell asleep. It was a bit shocking, to say the least. Any normal traveler would walk in, realize the building was occupied, apologize, and find another place to rest. This behaviour was suspicious. Too suspicious to not give you a quick once over.

Zuko walked over to you as quietly as possible, even though he didn’t need to worry about his volume. You were an impressively heavy sleeper, especially when you were exhausted like this. He crouched over you, taking in your features. His face softened for a moment as he saw the pure exhaustion gracing your eyes, hardening again soon after. What did he care if you were well rested or not? You were just some random traveler. He looked around in your corner and saw that there was no weapon. You didn’t even have a small travel bag.

Assured you were no threat, Zuko walked back over to his sleeping uncle and decided to turn in after a long day of training.

 ****************************

You woke up feeling more refreshed than you had in days. That was the best sleep you’d had in, what, seven weeks? You began stretching your limbs, feeling ready to continue your search for Azula. Then the hunger pains hit.

You doubled over, letting out a small moan of pain. That small moan, however, was all it took to awake the Dragon of the West.

As he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he looked around to make sure his nephew was okay. The prince was sleeping peacefully beside him. As you let out another hiss of pain, Iroh whipped his head around to see you, a young girl, clutching your obnoxiously loud stomach. He had conquered enough small Earth Kingdom villages to know what starving looked like, and that’s exactly what he was seeing. 

“Excuse me, miss,” he all but whispered. You whipped your head around, suddenly on high alert.

“I apologize, I did not mean to startle you. But I noticed that you seem quite hungry,” your stomach growled in response as Iroh spoke. “My nephew and I have a little extra food to spare, as well as some exquisite tea. Would you like to join us for breakfast?”

Under normal circumstances, you would have been way more skeptic of an old man you’d just met offering you food. But you hadn’t had anything to eat or drink since the night before you got kidnapped, and this weirdo was your only option. 

“I suppose,” you sighed.

“Wonderful! I will get started on breakfast. Would you like ginseng, green, or jasmine tea?”

“Jasmine,” you responded.

“Good choice. Jasmine is my nephews favorite,” the old man replied, a fond look painting his face.

As Iroh started breakfast, you couldn’t help but feel as if he looked familiar. Perhaps he had been on the news? Or possibly one of your textbooks? You shook off the feeling immediately; no. It wasn’t possible some filthy traveler had made it into a textbook. You laughed internally at the thought.

About 45 minutes had passed since Iroh began preparing breakfast, and he had finally finished cooking the meal. You walked over to the corner of the room the old man and his nephew had been staying in as Iroh beckoned you over. When you got close enough to the younger man to get a good look at him, you got that same familiarity ebbing at your insides. It wasn’t an unsettling familiarity, just… strange. But you supposed everything about this situation was strange. 

Just as you began to sit, you were interrupted.

“I’m sorry, young lady. But could you wake up my nephew? As you can see by the bandages, I got hurt quite badly recently and cannot move around very well,” the old man said sheepishly.

“Sure,” you replied. This old man seemed nice enough, and he was making you, a complete stranger to him, breakfast. So you didn’t mind waking up his nephew. It was an easy task.

Or so you thought.

As you walked over to the sleeping boy and crouched over him, your breath hitched in your throat. Oh wow. This boy was quite the looker. His scar made him look all the more badass. You shook off these thoughts as quickly as he came. No. You didn’t have the time to pursue relationships with boys you didn’t even know.

You put your hand to the sleeping boy's arm gently, shaking him just enough to wake up. Waking him up wasn’t the hard part. The hard part came after he woke up.

You know, the part where he proceeded to attack you.

You let out a squeak of surprise as he leapt onto you, pinning you to the floor in the process. All your normal reflexes and strength had gone with your full stomach. On top of that, you didn’t want to hurt this guy, spirits forbid his uncle reclaim your breakfast invite. His arms were by the sides of your head to keep from crushing you. He leaned down to your face.

“Who are you, and what are you doing?” the boy growled into your ear, his voice extra raspy considering he had just woken up. He sent you a glare that rivaled the one Katara had sent you the other day.

“Lee! This is not how we treat our guests. I invited this young lady to sit with us for breakfast and asked her to wake you up,” Iroh scolded.

“Uncle, you can’t just go around inviting random people to sit with us at meals!” Zuko protested. “It isn’t safe.”

“Hush, nephew. She’s joining us and that’s final,” Iroh retorted. 

Zuko sent you a final glare before getting off of you.

The meal was pretty silent at first, not that you minded. You were pretty focused on stuffing your face. After a few minutes of comfortable silence passed, Iroh started some small talk.

“So, young lady. I don’t believe you told me your name. What is it, if you don’t mind me asking?” Iroh inquired.

“Y/N,” you responded. “I don’t think I caught your name either.”

“Mushi,” the man responded. “And this is my nephew, Lee.” he gestured to the boy sitting next  to him. Said boy sent you another glare. You sent him your snarkiest stare back.

“So,” you began, “Mushi. Where are you from?”

“I come from a small village in the Earth Kingdom, you’ve most likely never heard of it. My nephew and I left a few years ago in search of a better life,” Iroh answered as his gaze traveled to the small travel kettle. “Oh! The tea is ready.”

Mushi took the kettle off of the fire. Huh. Fire. That wasn’t there when the old man had first invited you to breakfast, and you hadn’t heard him trying to make a fire. Unless he was a firebender, which was impossible considering he was from the Earth Kingdom, how did he start a fire so easily?

You brushed it off. He probably just had a lot of experience or something, right? Yeah, yeah. Sure. Instead, you turned your attention back to  ‘Mushi’ (you suspected that wasn’t his real name), who was pouring some jasmine tea for his nephew. The smallest fond smile graced the boy's face as his uncle poured his tea. His smile was a nice change of pace from his usual scowl. You wished you could see him smile more.

Wait, no. What were these thoughts? You couldn’t go around ogling at boys like a school-girl! It was simply out of the question. You had one purpose in life: Serve. The. Fire Nation. Maybe someday your parents would arrange a marriage for you or something of the like, but you had no intention of falling in love.Wishing someone happiness and a crush were two very different things. Besides, you could never fall in love with someone just because of their looks. You weren’t that shallow. 

Once you had finished breakfast, you walked back over to the corner you claimed to pack up. After noting that there was nothing to pack up, anxiety started to settle in. Realizing you didn’t even have a weapon to defend yourself with, you started to feel full on panic. You had been so preoccupied with escaping Team Avatar and staying alive that your lack  of, well, anything had slipped your conscious. 

This was not good. You were in the middle of nowhere with nothing  but the clothes on your back. 

Mushi must have taken in your state of dismay, because he walked over to you and placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. 

“You seem a little lost, Y/N. Is there any way I could help you?” he asked.

“I’m not sure. But I think I’m going to have to stay in this town another night until I can figure something out,” you sighed. Every moment you became more and more anxious about how Azula would react if- no, when you returned. Would she be angry about it? Or did she view you as a disposable tool? You hoped for the latter. If that was how she saw you, maybe she would be pleasantly surprised when you returned. While “disposable tool” might not have been the exact way you described yourself, it certainly was close to that. Serving your country was a noble thing, and if you died doing it, it would be an honorable death.

“I think you are making a wise choice. It would be foolish to go out traveling with no resources. However, because you are staying, I do have to tell you something. I have not been completely honest,” the man muttered, looking at you sheepishly.

“What are you talking about?” you asked, incredulousness gracing your features. How could he have lied? He’d barely spoken to you, for spirits sake!

“My name’s not Mushi, and my nephew is not Lee. We’re not from the Earth Kingdom. Our names are Iroh and Zuko, and we hail from the Fire Nation,” Iroh explained.

“Oh,” you said, relieved it hadn’t been something worse. “That’s fine. I’m from the Fire Nation too. But why didn’t you just tell me in the first place?”

“I was not sure if you were from the Earth Kingdom or the Fire Nation. Most people are not comfortable revealing that information to strangers. People from the Earth Kingdom do not always react kindly to Fire Nation citizens,” the old man replied.

“Damn right,” you scoffed. “Personally, I think they need a little lesson in respect.”

Iroh hummed in response, not showing any other sign of agreement or disagreement. He didn’t want to scare you off or fight you, but he also didn’t want to show any agreement with what you’d just said.

“Are you a firebender? I’ve been teaching my nephew, so if you’d like to train with us, you’re more than welcome,” Iroh inquired.

You thought about the offer. You hadn’t trained in a week. You had decided not to bend at all while you were traveling to conserve energy, so your bending was probably a little rusty.

“Sure, I suppose it couldn’t hurt,” you responded.

“Great! My nephew and I are currently working on a special technique that we started yesterday. We’re redirecting lightning. I actually made it myself,” Iroh replied eagerly.

“Wait, you can redirect lightning? Does that mean you’re a lightning bender?” you asked, dumbfounded. Lightning bending was one of, if not the most, powerful forms of bending. Because it was so powerful, the only people who got to learn it were members of the Fire Nation royal family.

“Yes, I can conjure lightning. But I don’t do it often,” Iroh chuckled.

 Then it all began clicking into place for you- of course! Prince Zuko and former heir to the throne General Iroh! It hadn’t clicked sooner because of Prince Zuko’s banishment. You hadn’t heard his name in a few years, and he had just kind of left your consciousness. 

“So you’re General Iroh? The Dragon of the West? The only man to ever conquer Ba Sing Se?” you squealed. General Iroh was a hero of yours. He was a strong asset to the Fire Nation and an even stronger bender. His loss of Ba Sing Se had been disappointing, and you personally thought he should have stayed. Still, losing a son must be hard. The loss of Lu Ten, whom you had thought was going to be the Fire Lord one day, was devastating for the entire Fire Nation. On top of all that, he was stripped of his heir status. The details on that had always been shady, as Fire Lord Azulon never mentioned anything about his wishes for Ozai to become the Fire Lord while he was still alive. Not to mention Fire Princess Ursa disappearing right before Ozai’s coronation. Still, reading into it too much was a waste of time. Fire Lord Ozai was a strong leader, and that was what the Fire Nation needed.

“Uh, yes. I did conquer Ba Sing Se for some time,” Iroh replied, trying his hardest to hide the discomfort that had now taken over his face. “But let's not focus on that. We should get to training.” he urged.

You walked outside with Iroh towards a cliff, where Zuko was waiting. As he spotted you, his eyebrows shot up in surprise. Surprise quickly turned to annoyance as he said,

“Uncle! Was inviting her to breakfast not enough? Why is she out here?”

Iroh looked impatient while saying, “Zuko! Where are your manners today? Y/N here is a bit stranded, so for the time being, she will train with us.”

Realizing his uncle had called him by his real name, Zuko sent Iroh a glare, but he didn’t say anything about it. Zuko didn’t want to give himself away completely.

“I just remembered- you need to be in a calm state of mind for today's exercise. I need to go make some ginseng tea!” Iroh said, hurrying back to the decaying building to start the drink.

You groaned internally. You had grown quite fond of the old man already, but you couldn’t say the same for his nephew. 

An uncomfortable silence took over as he just stood there awkwardly.

“So, how long does it take for your uncle to make tea?” you asked, hoping to quell the silence and get an estimate of when you could begin training.

“Half an hour for ginseng. He likes to get it just right,” Zuko answered. He was clearly annoyed by your presence, as he has hoped to work on the lightning technique his uncle created. But alas, he couldn’t give away that he was from the Fire Nation. I mean, really? Why had his uncle agreed to letting you train them? A free meal was courteous enough, no? Now a whole day of training would be wasted on teaching some random girl the basics of hand to hand combat.

“Is he coming back while the tea steeps to get us started?” you sighed.

“No, he usually stays by the tea. He doesn’t want anything to happen to it,” Zuko explained.

“Well, in that case, do you want to get started without him? Just to warm up?” you asked.

“Sure, why not?” Zuko mumbled sarcastically. Was a moment alone with his uncle too much to ask for?

As Zuko got into a standard position for hand to hand combat, you crossed your arms and shot him a confused look.

“Spirits, don’t tell me you don’t even know basic fighting stances,” Zuko groaned.

“Of course I know basic fighting stances!” you countered. “But why are you in a hand to hand combat stance? I thought this was a firebending session.”

Zuko froze. “You know I’m a firebender?” “Uh, yeah! I also know who you are, princey, in case you haven’t picked up on that either. Now are we starting or not?” you cried.

Zuko stayed frozen. “How do you know who I am?” he demanded.

“Your uncle told me, idiot. You were also the heir to the throne of the country I live in for a hot minute. It took me a while, but you’re not unrecognizable,” you replied. 

“Oh.”

“Yep.”

After another few minutes of awkward silence, you spoke again.

“So hottie, are we sparring or not?” you asked, now impatient.

Zuko started to nod before he realized the nickname you had just given him.

“What did you just call me?” He tried his best to sound intimidating, but it was challenging considering his voice had gone up an octave.

You smirked. “Hottie. Y’know, short for hothead?”

“Oh,” Zuko sighed. He didn’t know if he was relieved or disappointed.

“You’re also, like, totally hot,” you said nonchalantly. You knew you shouldn’t have been flirting. That’s what you had been telling yourself all day. But he was just too easy! His cheeks flared up immediately after you called him hot. And you never got to flirt! You were always too busy training, or on a mission. Besides, it’s not like this will go anywhere. You’ll have your fun for an hour or two, and by the end of the day you will have figured something out and leave. 

While you were trying to justify your flirting, Zuko was busy having an existential crisis. He was, for lack of a better word, bamboozled. Just… what? How could anyone, much less a pretty girl like you, find him attractive when he had a giant fucking scar covering a third of his face? He had barely even spoken to you, and his words had been cold at best. Why did you still find him attractive? Though he supposed he was thinking the same about you. Sure, he found you annoying and maybe even a little arrogant, but he recognized your attractiveness. 

“O-okay. We can get started now,” Zuko stammered, his blush quickly spreading.

“Alright,” you giggled. “But be warned, I’m a little rusty.”

You and Zuko got into position swiftly. After stretching, Zuko got into an intermediate bending stance. 

“Ready?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

As the first plumes of fire left your hands, you felt feelings you only ever felt while firebending. Grace. Comfort. Complete and total warmth. Firebending had always been a form of escapism for you, and it had killed you to temporarily stop. But now, as you focused on the flames erupting from your hands, you felt a sense of peace.

Zuko was surprised by your skill. He outmatched you, but not by nearly as much as he thought he would. It was clear you were naturally gifted at firebending; your elegant movements said that much. Zuko had the best private teachers money could buy at his disposal growing up, so he being better than you was a given. He assumed you went to one of the many Fire Nation public schools growing up, but after seeing your bending, he realized you must have gone to a pretty good private school.

After the quick warmup, Iroh came out with the tea.

“Sorry I took so long. Ginseng is always fussy,” the retired general sighed.

“Nephew, since I already told you all this yesterday, how about you take your tea and meditate for a few minutes while I catch Y/N up to speed?” Iroh asked.

“That works,” Zuko said. Oddly, after the brief spar with you, Zuko found all his annoyance at you disappearing.

 ****************************

It had been a grueling day of training. You were a fast learner, but it appeared that you were not going to master this technique any time soon Zuko tried to help you, but so far it had been to no avail. Iroh left to rest about half an hour ago, after raising his eyebrows suggestively at Zuko, who rolled his eyes at the gesture.

“You’re not getting you chi low enough,” Zuko groaned. This was the fourth time he was explaining this to you. “You need to let it travel through your stomach.”

“What the hell does that even mean?” you cried, growing frustrated.

“Just- I’ll help you,” Zuko mumbled, trudging over to where you were standing. He positioned himself behind you, putting his hands on your arms.

“It’s like this,” he explained. He guided your right arm a bit higher, and put your left arm at a much lower angle. His arms dropped from your arms to your waist.

“You have to guide the chi lower,” he repeated.

You did the motion again, making sure your arms were in the position Zuko had put them in. The places he had touched were still tingling from his warm, rough hands.

“Good job,” Zuko muttered. His hands were still placed firmly on your waist.

“Well, you’re a pretty good teacher,” you giggled. Y/N, you thought. You were trying to have as much fun with this boy as you possibly could.

“Is that so?” Zuko murmured, suddenly feeling confident. He didn’t get to have much fun either. And his uncle was always teasing him about not being good with girls. Maybe with you, he could kill two birds with one stone. Have some fun and get some practice around girls. He’d need it someday, to court his future Fire Lady. “Maybe I could teach you other things. Like firebending.”

“I know how to firebend, Zuko,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“You don’t know anything too advanced, though,” Zuko retorted.

“True, true. I guess I could take you up on that offer. But with all the things you’re teaching me, I’m going to have to teach you a few things in return.” “Like what?”

 You smirked, tilting your head back until it was under Zuko's chin. “Oh, you’ll see. But for now, teach me some firebending.”  

Zuko's heart inexplicably started racing at your mysteriousness. Was he simply nervous that he didn’t know what you were going to be teaching him? Or was it the way your voice went a little lower? The new close proximity of your faces? The knowing smirk on your face?

Still nervous, Zuko took his hands from your waist. “Okay, in that case, I’ll teach you something I invented. I call it fire daggers.”

 ****************************

“You’re doing pretty well. You just need to push a little more chi to your wrists,” Zuko explained. He had been teaching you how to create fire daggers for about 45 minutes, and you had almost mastered it.

“Okay,” you replied. You took a deep breath, and tried your hardest to focus all your chi to your hands. You felt the warmth become more concentrated around your palms, and finally, you let out two, very concentrated fire daggers.

“Finally!” you exclaimed. “Wow, you invented this?”

“Yeah, but it took a while to perfect,” Zuko admitted. “So, what are you planning to teach me?”

“Oh, can we do it after we eat? I’m starving,” you said, careful not to tell him what you had in mind.

“I’m actually not very hungry. But you go eat with my uncle. I’ll train until you can come back.” “Sounds good.” You headed to the shabby building, leaving Zuko to train. As you were walking, you began thinking of what you would teach Zuko. You hadn’t planned that far ahead. Spirits, what about this boy made you so impulsive? Oh well, you’d think of something.

“Hello, Miss Y/N!” Iroh greeted.

“Hey, Iroh,” you responded. “What’s cooking? It smells good.” 

“Some jook,” Iroh replied. “Where is my nephew?” “He’s still outside. He’s not hungry so he’s training some more.”

“Classic Zuko,” Iroh sighed.

He served you a bowl of jook, which you happily began to eat. As you were eating, your mind wandered to other places. Team Avatar, to be exact. You thought about how they treated you. Sure, they put cuffs on you, but that was expected. They weren’t complete fools. You thought more about the way they had tried to make you comfortable. They offered you water, like, every fifteen minutes. And food, which you had refused. That wasn’t a good idea in hindsight. Sokka had even tried to make you more comfortable by making small talk, and Aang had been polite when you initiated conversation. If it had been the Fire Nation who captured them, there would be no such hospitality. Why had the enemy been so kind to you? Maybe- no. How could you think such a traitorous thought? Still, now that it was on your mind, you had to let it out.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” you asked, fidgeting with your spoon.

“Of course. What is on your mind?” Iroh questioned.

“Do you think this war is… right?” you sighed, not meeting Iroh’s eyes.

“What do you mean?” “Just… I was captured a few days ago, by the Avatar and his group. And some of the things they did and said got me thinking. Is it possible that the Fire Nation is in the wrong? We refuse to see good in anything but ourselves. I was taught from a young age to never show mercy; that mercy is weakness. But the Avatar and his friends were nothing but hospitable to me. I mean, what is the reason for this war? Conquest? Why are we trying to conquer the world? My school books say the Air Nomads were planning to invade us, but the more I think about that, the more absurd it sounds. They were pacifists, for spirits sake!” You hadn’t planned on saying all that, but once you started talking, you couldn’t stop. You felt confused, and now angry. Had the Fire Nation really been lying to you this whole time? Was everything you knew a lie? You felt like you were suffocating, shocked by the things that had come out of your own mouth. If you weren’t a faithful servant to the Fire Nation, who were you?

Iroh stared at his bowl of jook for a few seconds, contemplating what you had just said. Then, he spoke.

“Morals are something you must develop for yourself. Take a look at the facts and your own life experiences, and form a code of ethics to follow. I know how difficult it can be to question what you were taught, but we must always be bettering ourselves. Don’t take the easy way out, and always remember to trust your gut.”

You understood what Iroh meant. It’s easy to just follow someone blindly, especially if they’re manipulating you. Developing your own moral code, while harder, would be more fulfilling and worthwhile in the end. 

“Thanks, Iroh. I have a lot to think about,” you breathed at a barely audible voice.

“Of course, take your time.”

You slinked off to your corner, figuring you had about twenty minutes until you had to go to Zuko. You hadn’t eaten much jook. You thought about your brother, who had always been the perfect Fire Nation citizen. He never questioned the Fire Nations wishes, not for one minute. You had always looked up to him, and longed for his praise so badly, so you didn’t question the Fire Nation either. And look where that got the both of you. You were here, stranded in an abandoned Earth Kingdom village, and he was, well, dead. Killed in battle at the ripe age of 17, just as you were about to graduate from the Fire Nation Royal Academy for Girls. 

It was in that moment that you finally understood what Katara had meant. Why would the remaining two nations comply with the Fire Nation when the Fire Nation was trying to overthrow them? Complying wouldn’t result in peace. It would result in chaos.

Well, fuck. Now what were you going to do? You couldn’t go back to Azula, and your gut was telling you not to stay with Iroh and Zuko. You had to get going by tomorrow morning. 

“Iroh, I have a favor to ask,” you said.

“Anything, my dear,” he answered.

You rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly. “Do you have, like, an extra canteen of water I could take? Or a little bit of extra food? I really need to get going tomorrow morning, and-”

Iroh cut you off. “Of course, Y/N. I’ll get a few things packed up for you, but in the meantime, I think my nephew is waiting for you.” “Thanks, Iroh,” you said, smiling. Iroh nodded in your direction as you jogged out the door.

Feeling much more optimistic and more sure of yourself than you had ever been, you sauntered over to Zuko, who was doing a few cooldown stretches.

“Oh, hi Y/N. I was just finishing up. Are you ready to repay me yet?” he chuckled. 

“Not quite yet. Follow me,” you said in a teasing tone. Zuko got up and followed you despite the confused look on his face. Oh, how naive, you thought.

You led Zuko to a crumbling wall you had spotted earlier during training. When you stopped, Zuko began speaking.

“What are we doing over here? What are you even teaching me?”

You could tell he was getting impatient with you. Oh well, just give the boy what he wants.

“Never knew you were the eager type,” you giggled.

Zuko’s witty comeback died in his throat as you yanked him by the arm towards you and effectively pinned him against the wall.

“Wh- what are you-”

“Quiet, hottie,” you murmured. “Class is in session. Would you consider yourself a hands on learner?” “I guess so,” he whispered. The almighty Fire Prince was melting into a puddle right before your eyes, at your hand nonetheless. He really was too cute for his own good at this moment. His eyes wide instead of the default glare they were set in, his entire face red. 

“Good,” you responded. You took his hands, which were hanging limply at his sides, and stationed them on your waist. You then placed your hands firmly onto his shoulders. Zuko shuddered under your touch.

“Ready for the demonstration?” you asked, serious tone not at all fitting for what you were about to do to this boy.

“U-um, well, I… ah-” Zuko sputtered. Was it only this morning he was glaring at you for joining his meal?

You rolled your eyes. “Lesson one: Talk. Less.” you stated.

You leaned in until your lips were just barely brushing Zuko’s. You could hear his breath hitch in his throat. But you weren’t done having fun with him yet.

At the last minute, you turned away from his lips, instead opting to place a feather light kiss on Zuko’s cheek teasingly. 

You pulled away from Zuko slightly with a sly smile, just enough so you could see his face. His expression was shocked, confused, and longing.

Perfect.

“You don’t have to be so stiff, you know,” you giggled. “Move a little. It-”

Zuko cut you off with his lips, grasping at your waist like his life depended on it. You gasped into his mouth before hurriedly kissing back. Sure, you’d kissed a guy or two in your life, but none of them felt like Zuko. He tasted like jasmine and woodsmoke. His lips moved against yours with passion and vigor as he let out little sighs into your mouth. Your hands left Zuko’s shoulders, going to his chest instead as you grabbed fistfuls of his shirt. 

You pulled away from the kiss, smiling as he chased after your lips.

“Why�� did you do that?” he whispered.

“I had to teach you something, didn’t I? Did you learn anything?” you asked.

“Talk less,” Zuko said, his eyes hazy.

You chuckled. “Yeah. Remember that one.”

You walked off, leaving Zuko to contemplate what  just happened.

 ****************************

You left that same night. Iroh had gone to the nearby forest to forage for some plants, and Zuko was still standing at the wall, dumbfounded. That left the building you had stayed in empty. There was a small bag sitting in the corner you had slept in, packed by Iroh. You found a compass in Iroh’s bag, found which way west was, and started off in the direction, taking the compass with you. It didn’t matter; Zuko had one in his bag. You checked.

You weren’t quite sure where you were going. Going back to Azula was obviously not an option, but the Fire Nation wasn’t a good choice either. There would be too many things to explain to your family, and you could be sent to jail for abandoning Azula. Or worse. It would be better for the time being if you were presumed dead, not that anyone besides your parents and perhaps a few of your friends would care.

That left a few options. You could become a nomad of sorts, jumping around from town to town, never staying long. You weren’t built for that sort of life, though. The few weeks traveling with Azula had been enough to last you a lifetime. Omashu, now New Ozai, had become occupied by the Fire Nation. The Northern Water Tribe was secluded and virtually untouched by the war, as the recent invasion attempt had failed. Unfortunately for you, it was nearly impossible to get to, even by high-tech warship.  That left settling down at one of the abandoned Air Temples or Ba Sing Se. The latter seemed less lonely and more attainable, so off to Ba Sing Se it was.

 ****************************

“Fine, but you’re closing tomorrow!”

“Okay okay. Thanks, Xia!”

You washed the flour caked on your hands from hours of work, left the keys in the small tray by the back door, and began your walk back to the small apartment you lived in, apron in hand.

You had been living in Ba Sing Se for two months now. After forging some papers and departing the ferry that took you to the city, you landed a job at a small, but lively bakery that locals of the outer ring loved. Your weekly salary was enough to pay for rent, food, and a few recreational activities too. Overall, you lived a comfortable life, and you would have been happy to spend the rest of your days in the life you’d built for yourself, even if you had to pretend there was no war. 

You had been hearing about a tea shop from some of your neighbors. It wasn’t new, but there was a new employee that really knew his way around the drink. You hadn’t had a cup of tea since the ginseng shared with Zuko and Iroh, and you certainly had the money for it. Deciding to treat yourself, you walked into the store and ordered a cup of jasmine tea. After paying, you sat down at a table by the window and waited for your tea to be served. Drumming your fingers on the table, you thought about how much your life had changed in just a few short months. You had gone from a loyal servant to the Fire Nation, ready to sacrifice anything and everything for a facist tyrant, to a normal young adult working in a bakery. You couldn’t help but feel grateful you had fallen into this timeline. What if Sokka’s aim had just been a bit off and you hadn’t been knocked out? You’d probably still be out there with Azula, hunting down the world's last hope for balance. Crazy how one little action can have such a huge impact. 

As you thought about Azula, your mind wandered to her older brother. You smiled at the thought of Zuko. Your time together had been brief, but you looked back on it fondly. Sure, he could be very aggressive and intimidating, but he could also be quite shy and bashful, if you got him in the right situation. 

Looking back on the kiss the two of you had shared, you blushed. You felt giddy and slightly embarrassed at the same time. You had been so impulsive in that moment, but you couldn’t help it. He was just so cute, stuttering under your soft gaze!

“Order up,” a raspy voice stated behind you.

Ah, your tea. You turned around to accept the steaming cup, tip in hand, but something stopped you from  reaching out to take the drink from the rusted tray.

That something was the wide-eyed stare of a certain Fire Nation royal family member. 

“Oh,” you choked. “Hi again.”

a/n okay i know i said literally yesterday that this would be out in december but you never know when motivation will hit ig. this isn’t the full thing but i think that’s understandable since this bitch is loooong. the second part will probably be shorter. the other zuko h/cs will still be out before thanksgiving! requests are still open as well, but i want to finish this so it may take a little for me to get to them. thank you to @ladyamaya (sorry it’s not letting me tag you :() for requesting this. sorry it took so long. also, sorry if this sucks :)

[atinyidea]

The Ache Of A Broken Heart | Ateez Song Mingi

⟶ requested by @un-kpop-ular! thank you for the request lovely!

⟶ highschool!au, bestfriends!au, female!reader, named!reader, hanahaki!au

⟶ angst prompt: “it hurts”

⟶ 3133 words!

edit: hi so it's been a couple years and I've realised how genuinely arophobic this kind of au is and I just want to say that while I'm not deleting it (it was a request) I'm not supporting it and will not write anything like a hanahaki au again. Please do some research if you're confused and I apologize to those who mightve felt hurt reading this oneshot.

"I don't understand why you haven't just told him?"

"Well it's not like me telling him will make anything stop. And there's the potential that I'll lose him completely if I tell him. It's not that simple."

"It can be! You tell Mingi you love him and then he can accept that love you back and you stop coughing up fucking flower petals."

"San!" She whined, lifting her head from its resting place on the toilet seat. "I can't force him to love me back! Besides he already has a girlfriend. I'll get over it sooner or later."

"Is later is when you die choking up a whole bunch of flowers?"

"I'm not going to die!"

"You threw up a whole flower just three minutes ago! You're getting worse! I know you." San paused, gently petting her head. "I know how much you let yourself fall into your feelings. You're sensitive, Jiyeon, you always have been. It's not going away."

"I'll make it go away." She whispered, biting her lip and avoiding his gaze. San simply huffed, pulling you into his chest and just held her for a while, rubbing circles into her back.

Choi Jiyeon was many different things to Choi San but the main fact was that she was his cousin. His only cousin. His father was her father's brother and the two only children became as close as siblings due to the fact they shared the same house.

Jiyeon and San were the same age, born a month apart because their mothers planned it. They grew up in a big house with a big garden. They had loving, caring parents and an extremely fortunate wealth and upbringing.

They went to a public school, making plenty of their own friends but somehow they always managed to converge groups to make one big friend group. And, in that friend group just happened to be Song Mingi.

Now, Jiyeon would have to admit, Mingi was, in fact, San's friend first. However, soon after meeting Jiyeon and Mingi were quick to become best friends. Jiyeon would be lying if she didn't say that, besides San, Mingi knew her best. Mingi was the first to tell her everything, the first to include her in events and jokes. He told her everything and in turn, she'd tell him everything too.

Well, except for one small thing.

Choi Jiyeon was completely in love with Song Mingi. And he didn't love her back.

Jiyeon never used to believe in the Hanahaki Disease until the petals started making their way down her throat. She thought it was a myth grandmother would tell to wain children off of loving recklessly. Her own grandmother would tell Jiyeon stories of the girls she used to know. Of how the would give their heart to anyone who'd take it and in return were given flowers. Only when she was a little older did her grandmother tell her that the gifted flowers were actually a curse in the body. Flowers that would come from nowhere and choke one out until one found themselves throwing the petals up. Jiyeon had never taken her grandmother seriously.

Maybe she should have.

She hadn't even noticed she had begun to love Mingi when the first petal arrived. She had been asleep when it did and woke up to a petal laying on her tongue. Having gone to a house party the night before, getting quite drunk by the amount of pain her head was in, she took no notice. She had, unfortunately, woken up with worse things in her mouth before.

The first time she actually threw up a petal, she and San were having their annual weekend movie marathon. In the middle of the fourth film — Star Wars: A New Hope — Jiyeon suddenly hunched over, grabbing both her throat and her tummy. After what felt like hours to her, which in reality was only five minutes of San freaking out behind her, she finally coughed up the petals that had bloomed in her tummy. Both Choi's sat in silence when she had finished, simply staring at the white petals that were stained red. Jiyeon only realised they were stained red with blood after San had handed her a napkin to wipe her mouth and it too came away red.

"What was that?" San asked, both of them now slumped on the floor on their knees, the television in the background now being nothing more than white noise.

"I don't really know."

"How can you not know?"

"Well, it's never happened before!"

After a beat of silence, San spoke up once again, his voice only hairs above a whisper. "It's like that old story grandma used to tell us, don't you think?"

"The story about the women who would die throwing up flowers when the person they loved never loved them back?"

"Yeah."

"That was an old wives tale San! A myth! A story to teach children to be mindful of who they give their heart to."

"Well, how else do you explain what just happened to you?"

His question had her stumped. How could she explain what just happened? The feeling of something unnatural climbing up her oesophagus, catching in her throat and choking her until she coughed it out covered in blood was not something that could be explained away or turned a blind eye too. There was blood. Bloody flower petals. That came from inside of her. And it hurt. It hurt so much.

"But that tale was about someone who loved another who couldn't love them back. I'm not in love with anyone, San." She avoided his gaze. "It's probably something I ate that didn't agree with me. That's all." She dismissed.

San sighed and she heard it. He sighed because Jiyeon had never been about to lie to him — or to anyone for that matter.

"Ji..." San trailed off. "You can tell me."

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"Is it one of our friends?"

"Is what one of our friends?" Jiyeon feigned ignorance, still not looking up to match her cousin's gaze.

"The person you love," San whispered, manoeuvring from kneeling to sitting, shifting slightly closer to the girl.

"Who says I love anyone?" Jiyeon whispered, finally turning her head to face San.

"Because I think we both already know who you love." San smiled sadly, gently bringing the girl into his arms. He rocked them back and forth gently, trying to create an atmosphere in which Jiyeon felt safe enough to speak her truths.

She rested her head against her cousin's collar. "Are you mad at me?"

San shook his head, even though she couldn't see him. "No. Why would I be?"

"Because..." She looked up, "Mingi's your best friend."

San chuckled. "You can't even lie to yourself. Mingi's your best friend. Sure, he's my good friend but you know things about him he'd never think to tell me." His smile widened a little, lifting a hand to ruffle her hair.

Jiyeon sighed, closing her eyes. "Okay. Maybe I'm in love with Mingi."

"Maybe?"

"I don't know!"

"Jiyeon."

"It's not like it matters anyway. He won't love me back that's why I'm throwing up petals or something." Jiyeon's eyes flew back open.

"Grandma always said didn't... not wouldn't or couldn't." San reminded her gently. "There's still a chance. You just have to tell him."

Jiyeon sighed, her head thumping back into his chest. "Fine." She breathed out, her throat finally numbing. "I'll tell him next time I see him."

The conversation the two had the next time Jiyeon saw Mingi however, was not the conversation she had in mind. He had grabbed her in the middle of the hallway, minutes before the bell for the first period, his handsome face graced with the bright grin only Mingi could create. It sent a flutter of butterflies through her tummy. Before she could get a word in he had already told her his news. The smile on her face had frozen, to the point where she began to panic he's see through the fake happiness she exuded.

"Haneul said yes! She said she'd be my girlfriend!"

Panic froze Jiyeon to her spot. How could she forget about Haneul? The pretty girl Mingi had the biggest crush on. He had spent hours telling Jiyeon all about her. How kind she was. How pretty she was. The way her voice sounded when she spoke to him — "like bells... or the sound of a thousand angels humming!" — and about the way she spoke to him. He told her about how Haneul was smart, how she helped him with all the things he struggled with academically — as if the study sessions he spent with Jiyeon did nothing for him.

Jiyeon had always felt funny when he would talk about Haneul. She hadn't realised the feeling was jealousy until she stopped telling herself she didn't love him.

Haneul was perfect for him; just the right height, just the right build, just the right personality. How could Jiyeon ever be seen as more than just his best friend when someone like Haneul was interested in him?

"That's great! I'm proud of you!" The words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them. The way his grin beamed brighter tore a rip through her heart and something built up in the pit of her stomach. The bell rang a second later and the two made their separate ways for their first lessons.

Jiyeon couldn't concentrate that entire day. Not many people seemed to notice her out-of-it daze apart from San, who looked at her with silent worry as their group sat together at lunch. Haneul has joined them, sitting close to Mingi's right side, answering the questions their friends had for her with a sweet smile.

Why was there nothing wrong with her?

Jiyeon couldn't blame her though. It wasn't Haneul's fault Jiyeon had fallen in love with her best friend. It wasn't Haneul's fault Jiyeon's body had decided it would take out its heartbreak on her, breaking her down piece by piece until her insides crumbled into torn up petals.

That had been sixth months ago.

Sixth months strong were Haneul and Mingi.

Jiyeon thought that it would get better. That the ache in her chest would dissipate now that Mingi was in fact taken by one of the sweetest people Jiyeon had ever met.

“Why don’t you, you know, date someone? Get your feelings under your own control.” San has said one day during a particularly harsh day, your entire bathroom floor covered in blue petals and sickly red blood after a couple hours of coughing and spluttering. You had given him an exhausted glare.

“It wouldn’t be fair to the other person. How would I explain this? ‘Oh, sorry about the mess! My body is just displaying its heartache outwardly because I love someone, who’s not you, by the way, that doesn’t love me back.’ Yeah, that’d go down a treat.”

San rolled his eyes at her, letting go of the hair he had held out of her face. “I’m just saying. It might be a way to get over it. To get over him. To get your health back?” He pressed gently. It didn’t take much to know that San was worried. Jiyeon had lost a noticeable amount of weight, not being able to keep much of anything down — especially after being around Mingi. She had become quiet, one might say reserved, which was unlike the person she was a couple of years ago who was never without a smile or a laugh.

She felt defeated. “I don’t want anyone else to feel like this. It hurts, so much,” She swallowed. “Every time I throw up those flowers it feels like my heart is being smashed with a steel hammer. Or as if it was made out of paper and each petal was just another rip in the fragility of a water soaked piece of paper. It’s dark. It’s a disgusting feeling and I never want anyone to feel it, ever.”

San’s head cocked to the side, his eyes dropping with worry. “You’re dying, Ji,” He whispered. He took one of her hands in his. “Just try it. Please.” He begged.

Jiyeon bit her lip. It would be too arrogant to assume someone would fall in love with her so easily, wouldn’t it? She could let herself be involved with someone else, couldn’t she? She could get over the dark could that surround her heart, right? She nodded, “Alright.”

So San sent her on a date. Ironically enough, another of their friends, Jeong Yunho, had been interested in Jiyeon for a little while. When San has brought up his little conundrum — “I need someone to set Jiyeon up with but every one I can come up with are all dicks” — Yunho has jumped (literally) at the opportunity.

The date was fun. It was exciting. They had met at a restaurant, exchanging shy smiles and small hellos before ditching the restaurant — it was only San who made the reservation anyway — and spent the night just together, deciding on what to do by playing small games of rock-paper-scissors. Jiyeon found herself smiling, laughing for the first time in a long time. She had temporarily forgotten all about Mingi and the pain that would wrack her body almost every other night. They went to an arcade, playing on different games for a few hours, playing around with one another and cumulating enough tickets to get two matching teddy bears. They took a walk through a park, stopping to play on the playground apparatus and unlocking their inner children with small games like who could get the highest on the swings or who could stay upright the longest on the merry-go-round. They found themselves sitting in a booth at McDonald’s, grinning and sharing embarrassing stories about themselves and their friends — mainly San — while sharing two big boxes of chicken nuggets.

Jiyeon felt guilty when she got home, saying goodnight to Yunho and finding herself texting Mingi all about it. She felt guilty when she realised why she was so adamant for Mingi to know. She wanted him to feel jealous. And she felt horrible when he simply congratulated her and offered to go on double dates in the future, her bedroom floor covered in a smattering of red petals after she broke down in tears.

Yunho was kind. His smile was sweet and his words were sweeter. They went on multiple dates and Jiyeon could feel herself getting lighter. The petal attacks slowed down but, they still happened.

Yunho was kind but Jiyeon was scared. On their last date, he walked her home, their hands laced together as they walked under the stars in the night sky. Jiyeon had told him early on in their relationship that she was sorry they had to go slow. She hadn’t given him a solid reason for her need to go slow and he hadn’t pushed her for an answer, but she knew deep down she’d always be scared to take the next step with him, or anyone for that matter. At her door — one that was unlocked because San just knew she’d forget her keys — Yunho had taken her face in his hands and kissed her. Truth be told, she had enjoyed it. His lips were soft and he bent down enough to brush her lips before straightening up slightly, causing Jiyeon to follow him to a height her tippy toes would allow. However, when she opened her eyes the face of her unrequited lover stared back at her and her smile dropped.

Blinking away the image of Mingi’s face she was greeted with the worried eyes of Yunho. “I’m sorry if that was too fast.” He whispered, eyes dropping to the floor. A familiar feeling twanged across her body as her heart sunk, once again, in guilt.

“You have to go.” Her voice was low. She could feel the familiar sensation arise in the back of her throat and she, under no circumstances, never wanted Yunho — happy, kind, sweet, loving Yunho — too see her like that.

He stuttered and she felt worse. “I- I'm sorry. Just give me another date. I don’t want to stop seeing you.” He cupped her face again, tilting her head up so their gazes could meet.

She needed him to leave.

“You have to go.” She repeated, gently stepping out of his hold. She went to speak again but her words were caught in her throat as she coughed harshly. When she pulled her hand away from her lips, looking between Yunho and the bloody white petal in her hand, tears had already sprung to her eyes. She didn’t give him any explanation before turning on her heel, barrelling through the door to find the nearest bathroom.

She could hear him chasing after her, the sinking feeling of guilt consuming her for how much he cared for someone who was caught up with a boy who couldn’t love her back. She retched into the bowl of the toilet, multicoloured petals falling from her lips in encased in the sickening sound of blood being spat from her mouth.

Yunho was kind. He bent down next to her and held her hair from her face. He rubbed circles into her back, his soft voice falling into a quiet song. When Jiyeon had finished her attack her body wracked itself in sobs instead. She felt horrible inside and out.

“I’m so sorry.” She wailed.

He didn’t respond, stopping his soft singing.

“It hurts so much!” She sobbed, not lifting her head to face him. “I am truly sorry.”

After a while, her sobs lessened and the two sat in silence.

“You don’t have to be sorry.” Yunho finally replied, tilting her head to face him again. “I’m sorry you have to go through this,” He whispered. He raised a thumb and wiped at the side of her mouth, watching as the blood there transferred from her lips to his thumb. “I’m sorry you think you’re going through it alone.”

She looked at him, concentrating. Then, her insides froze again. Her tear ducts overflowed again once she realised just what he was talking about. Her one wish had been destroyed. Someone else was feeling what it felt like to be broken. And it was her fault.

She feared she wouldn’t be able to love anyone other than Mingi. She feared that Yunho loving her would kill him inside as loving Mingi did to her.

But in the end, Choi Jiyeon loved Song Mingi, even though they were young, even though he was taken, even though he was just her best friend.

She’d die loving Song Mingi, and in the end, she did.

[aiethflx-blog]

We are in the generation where childrens are more smarter in terms of using gadgets or technology.

1970's is the start of computer age, digital age or new media age. Technology helps people to search, ascertain things which leads to development of someone's ability, skills, talents, mind through different social media platforms or apps for different technologies. There is youtube, in which there are free tutorial of anything you wanted to know since then and building your self confidence through making vlogs. There is google, if you want to know something even the symptomps of diseases and etc. in text version. There is messenger & facebook for practicing your social skills. Technology helps in making arduous tasks effortless and smooth, in just one click of your finger you can get what you want without having sweat all over your body. Technology has helped create the information revolution. On the other hand, it is also bad for the health of humans because some, don't eat for games. They forgot to eat and intentionally didn't ate because gadgets has their focus and attention. Also radiation that can be get from it which can cause cancer to humans.

As the quote says, all excess is bad.

So, is technology bad? Go on and read 'til the end.

This generation is so tech-savvy. It is nice knowing that people do know what gadgets are and how to use it but the matter is, even though a child is 4-5 year old, he knows or even masters using it. Children supposed to or should enjoy their childhood playing hide and seek/ice water/jump over the cow and other street games, playing with their friends, spending time with their family which makes kids genuinely happy but sadly, some are eaten by technology. When a baby shed tears, activated their built-in microphones in their mouth, throwing things because they don't want it, parents grabs slippers, hanger, belts, hard wood sticks and anything that they first see as a substitute for whip but now, parents hands cellphone to them for the sake of quietness and peace. Teachers are not comfortable or habituated in using powerpoints & other teacher aids using technology. They even ask students about it, in the end they use ordinary type of teaching wherein the tools are manila paper, marker, board and chalk. Elders, before, used to talk to each other more often and spend their time talking to one another face to face and not only face timing. Humans used to drink coffee while reading a newspaper or listening to radios. Humans now, can't live without cellphone. Even in the comfort room, even when eating, even in serious moments or worse is using gadgets 24/7. Simply, technology and gadgets are indispensable in human life. All I can ask is when will things go back to its origin?

When...

When was the last time you wrote a letter for your love?

When was the last time writers wrote using type writers?

When was the last time you spend your time eating with your family with the cold wind without using gadgets?

When was the last time children used to play outdoor games?

When was the last time entertainment comes from sports, boardgames, watching movies?

When was the last time you had your life simple yet genuinely happy?

W h e n ?

As the technology evolve, the way of living evolves too.

Life is two faced. If you have seen the other side & judged it quickly, you are doing it wrong. Let us peel the cover of technology. I have mentioned the effects of overusing technology in everyday basis of human life but I also did said the good effects of technology. Come with me as we continuously discovering each and every side of technology.

Technology makes life easier.

One example of that is the computer itself. Computer back then was named as ENIAC and was done on 1946. We can say that ENIAC is part of technology because basically it is computer but still it is not easy to use. You can use it by walking and standing, you should follow many rules in order to operate it. Years passed, the evolution of computers has made. Today's computer is easier.

Another benefit of technology is about medicine. Since human was made, even our ancestors lack of resourced when it comes to medicines. That's why when a person got sick, diseases or cancers they easily die because no equipment surround them. All they have and they can afford is herbal medicines and some equipment that aren't enough for their sickness. Luckily, we, the millennials and generation Z were born in the age of modernization. It is easy to cure cancers because machine for diseases are already in our hands. Technology also paved a way for the rise of science discovery. Scientist now has the actual pictures of galaxy, planets, moon, asteroids and other heavenly bodies. Astronaut can personally see and admire the beauty of God's creation, not only in painting but astronaut can't experience that without the use transportation.

Transportation is also part of technology, transportation is now easy. Back then, Filipinos use Kalesa for travelling but now, we have jeeps, motorcycles, cars. Through transporation we can get what we want because it is used for delivery. Business also can be done through transporation. We can ride other's car because of transportation app or what we call "grab" and etc. Businesses can be done everywhere. Robots, they are part of it. Google play is also an example. Ask what you want to ask, command what you want to command because it controls your house.

But there are questions running in my mind...

Is anyone from ancient times would have thought that super advanced technology will happen?

Do modern world makes you happy or ancient time where you live simple makes you satisfied?

If today, some are eaten by technology, how much if more centuries will come? How advance do the world will be?

On the other hand, technology won't exist if there's no God behind it. Who gave humans intelligence to make what has been made?

G O D

Technology is made for a purpose,

To enlighten one's mind

Not to destroy someone's mind.

Not to destroy someone's behavior.

Not to destroy someone's good habbits.

Not to destroy someone's relationship toward his/her loveones.

Technology has many branches in terms of its effect, it can change the behavior of a person and they can be bullied but aside from that, did this question ever crossed your mind,

"Is technology still under control of God?"

If yes, then my answer will be yes too. God controls everything. The reason why some persons are in the street, getting garbage is that because they didn't asked God

"Is my path right?"

"Is this the path you have reserved for me?"

Same goes in technology. The purpose of it is Good, it is not meant for cyber bully, watching p*rns and other wrong doings in social media. It is just that, we misuse technology, we overuse it, we misunderstood it's purpose.

He under controls technology, but the bad effects that happen to us is also cause by non other than us, we, humans ourselves.

We shouldn't forget that God sees and knows everything. He sees what we do in technologies, in cellphones, in social media platforms. Don't even think that he doesn't care about technology just because He lived many decades ago, we think that He is old but the truth is

GOD IS OMNIPRESENT

We should base everything that we do in God's scripture. Not because something is in trend, we should do the same. Not because that's how they use technology or specifically social media, we should do the same. Not because we used to do something like doing bad things in social media means we have no chance to change. Change is the only constant. According to Romans 12:2, be transformed in the renewing of thalamus. Basically, thalamus is the place for addiction, some is addicted to p*rns, or addicted to games or anything that s connected in technologies, but still thalamus can be trained and we have the chance to change.

Change comes from ourselves not what others wants to change for ourselves. Know who are worth following. Know which person helps you to go to the path where God wants you to go because that person is important.

You only live once, they said. The life of our loved ones has limit and sadly, we don't know when. We should spend our time wisely,

Wisely with our parents

Wisely with our family

Wisely with our friends

Help yourself get up and don't be a loser when your opponent is just technology. Don't let your system be eaten by it. Don't let modernization invade your privacy in life. Never go with the flow.

Time spent in your family and in God is worth more than the time wasted from technology.

First and foremost, before using technologies, ask and consult yourself...

Do I need this?

Will this help me grow physically, emotionally, and spiritually?

What is my purpose in using these?

What can I get from these?

What possible habits of mine can be taken away by this?

What possible habits can I adapt from this?

Lastly, surround yourself of things that will help you grow. Make sure that using technologies will help in developing yourself so that you can be a better person. Another impact of technology is that, when you watch horror movie, yes, it has thrill but it brings fear. Absolutely, horror movies do have spirit that's why we are scared. Fear refuses your faith in God. When you are in fear of other things, the tendency is that you will be afraid to try it. For example, you are afraid of going to the comfort room alone because you watched horror movies, you will forget your faith in Lord. You will forget to remember that "God is with me, why do I need to fear?"

Now let me ask you.

IS TECHNOLOGY GOOD OR BAD?

[silentcoder]

Lilly's Adventures in Toyland. Watching my 3 and a half year old daughter taking her first steps in gaming, I've been observing what she struggles with. I feel there is a real gap for games that are playable by children not yet old enough to read, but beyond the simple activities in gcompris's earlier levels. More-over I'm a big fan of the idea of learning without knowing it - rather than setting out to teach a specific skill, I like the idea of learning things just by playing. And if there is a skill worth learning from gaming, more than anything else, it's simply how to solve puzzles. I've spent the past several days working on the idea in my head, and it's time to write it down. So I have an idea for a game like that. Specifically designed with the idea that my daughter could play it, mostly on her own. Much of the design then, is dictated by the requirements thus imposed, but there is also an original idea. Rather than drawn graphics, I want to use stop-motion sprites created from her own toys. This could be time-consuming but it isn't exceptionally hard to do, just photograph the toys in various pozes (to the extent they are posable) in front of a solid green background that's easy to edit out. You don't need highly complicated animations after all. A simple two or three frame animation in each direction suffices for "walking". Core design ideas: - I think a semi-side-scrolling platformer like the original Super Mario Bros is the easiest to learn - but Mario (and games like SuperTux) are still too complex, some things need to be reduced to fit a 3-year old's abilities. - No jumping. Nothing time-based. The game should be slow, and not require fully developed spatial reasoning to play. It shouldn't rely on fast reflexes either. So all screens must be walkable, and the challenge should come from puzzles that are more about simple reasoning skills than speed. - Controls should be simple. I think controller support is a must, but even then it should consider that the players have small hands which struggle to reach the triggers and top buttons. So a very simple scheme - movement on the left joystick. Actions on the 4 buttons (keyboard variants can be done - I'm not sure if keyboard + mouse is worthwhile, it's too reliant on fine motor skills that aren't quite there yet). Vertical movement should use ladders and slides, concept a three-year-old are already familiar with from the playground. - Only four basic actions. For my game, I'm thinking spells. And you start with just one - more can be added over time as the child gets familiar with the idea. So a simple magical game, in a world of realistic looking toys - on a simple 2-d platform. It's not a nightmare to code, and the work can instead go to the art and level design. - Child-friendly content. Combat, if any, should be on the "My little pony" level of violence only. Instead of a spell to set an enemy on fire, I'd rather have spell to simply turn him into a harmless creature like a mouse, with some implication that the spell is temporary and will wear off sometime after safely leaving the area. While I subscribe to the theory that good fairy tales should teach children that monsters can be killed there is plenty of other ways to learn that, there should be space also to just have fun and learn to solve puzzles and maybe learn that not all monsters HAVE to be killed to be defeated. An equally important lesson. - Backgrounds should reflect the regions the current set of characters derive from. Some of my African landscapes for levels using her animal-toysets, thus teaching (very subtly) a simple bit of geography and the idea that different creatures live in different places. That said, there should be no shortage of fantasy here. This is learning through play - and I think imagination is far too important at that age to focus on realism beyond the scenes based on what is already real. - Everything that is written must also be voiced (I'll need help here), including the opening menu etc. It must be navigatable by children who do not yet know how to read. - A rock solid set of editing tools to allow parents to easily add new levels, and a way to share those levels so that everybody can benefit. This would also allow the game to be much bigger than I could do on my own, and I could ask Caryn to help make some levels. - These tools should give full access to the pre-existing assets and sprites, as well as an easy way to import your own. So level design should be possible without knowing how to do green-screen stock-motion animation, but those who do, should be able to add new creatures. - This rather rules out things like gamemaker or rpgmaker simply because they are too complex. While that is great if you want to create your own game for older audiences, it is overwhelming to a three-year old. - I've set out to create games before, and never finished them because it was too much work on a busy working parent's schedule so on this one I'm setting out also to make the work-load manageable, partly by making as much as possible creation accessible to other people. On the other hand I have successfully finished a game as well (tappytux long ago), and part of why it worked was that it's major additional content could be crowdsourced - there were wordlists in dozens of languages at it's height - and the coding was written in such a way that, once the engine was completed, only bugfixes and optimization was needed - new additions did not require new code. That's a design imperitive now i think (it also helped that, at the time, this was done as part of my job and on company time) - Code should be available however, so parents who can code can make modifications, improvements and customizations for their own kids unique needs, and be freely share-able afterwards. The code will be GPL'd however. While I understand this is unpopular in the gaming community, I want everybody to benefit from every improvement. I am happy to put the artwork under a more liberal MIT license and use MIT-licenses art from other people. - I want the game accessible to as wide an audience as possible, so I intend to use a donation/pay-what-you-want model, which means you can get it for free if you don't have money available. A bit of money from those who can make it would be great but I'm not doing this to make money, I'm doing it to create something for my child. And, in the humble-bundle approach, half of any income recieved will go to a children's charity. - As she ages, more advanced versions introducing new skill requirements would be cool to add. So that a 5-year-old would be able to enjoy their own adventure, which is challenging on their level. These could be level-packs, or require a more advanced engine. That's something for the future. I'm sure more ideas will come out as I start working on the game. But these are the thoughts currently in my head. I wanted to write them down, and get feedback from fellow coders, parents and friends to expand on this before I start writing code and taking a whole lot of pictures of toys :P I'll incorporate the ideas I like (and consider how many likes a comment gets as votes for the idea) and then start working on the actual code. PS. I will gladly accept volunteers who wish to help with any part of this. If you're hoping to get rich it's the wrong project, I don't know if it will make anything, but if it does, I'll share the income fairly with any contibutors. PPS. Please feel free to share this post to any groups where you feel the audience would be interested and able to provide useful feedback or possible collaborators.

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