#'way more room up here' they all slept side by side ajsdflkjasd

[manslaught]

it's not bravery that brought her to the attic last night, although she wasn't as afraid as everyone else seemed to be— the biggest reason is far pettier than that, unable to ignore the jealousy that settled in her stomach as she watched shauna gather her things and go upstairs, knowing that something could happen between her and tai, because it wouldn't be the first time shauna's hooked up with someone she doesn't get along with, something mikayla knows firsthand. it wasn't as bad as she expected it to be, somehow, but that makes her even stranger now, because she no longer knows how to act around either of them.

mikayla's arm burns where tai touches it, a shock going up her entire arm, but she somehow manages to keep herself composed, holding her breath for a moment. now would normally be the time she says something unnecessary, shoving tai away as far as possible, because it's safer that way, but that doesn't feel like the right move anymore— and it would be too ironic, shoving her away out of fear when tai's thanking her for not being a coward. “ you thought i was going to be scared? ” she scoffs instead, but her tone's lighter than it's ever been with her, almost like they're friends, even though they're not.

“ you're better than some of the people downstairs. ” she could name them specifically, but mikayla doesn't think she has to, not when tai seems to have a similar opinion of most of them. mikayla glances toward the ladder, knowing that she should join the others, that being up here with tai alone is dangerous for her, but she's not particularly eager to deal with all of them, so she doesn't budge. “ i didn't want you guys to be alone, ” she admits, which is the truth, but it's not entirely out of innocent concern for their safety— but she'll let it sound that way. “ and there's way more room up here. so— it could be worse. ”

none of them have said a word, not even as they watch shauna get up from their makeshift beds and head downstairs, leaving taissa and @manslaught alone for the first time. part of her feels like she should follow, too, but another part of her still feels like she's got a point to prove, needing to be the last one in the attic to assure those downstairs that she had no issue sleeping through the night. for the most part, that's true — but she knows that's because she had company, even if it was the most unlikely company she could've imagined. but after their brief talk last night, what shauna revealed and what taissa and mikayla seemed to actually come together on to support her with, she feels like there's some kind of olive branch between them all, at least enough for her to actually say something that isn't a quick dig towards mikayla.

❝  hey, ❞ she says, reaching her hand out, gently placing her fingers against mikayla's arms to stop her, just in case she was planning to follow shauna. somehow, despite the odds, she feels easier to talk to this morning than shauna does, mostly because she imagines shauna's not ready to talk. ❝  um, thanks. for not being a coward like the others, ❞ she says, unable to be too serious, certainly not too vulnerable, because what she really wants to say is thanks for not leaving me alone up here, i was terrified. but maybe what's hidden behind her words is still evident in the way her voice lightly shakes, giving herself away. ❝  i know neither of us are really your first pick for roommates. ❞ there's a question hidden in her words, desperate to know why she came, but she's afraid to ask, as if they haven't made it that far.