#'these savages are surprisingly civilized' go fuck yourself

[neechees]

Update the stupid Ukrainian guy sid he was surprised "nobody (Native people) smoked, drank, or wanted to kill me" at his first pow wow

[naughtyneganjdm]

The Mistress - Chapter 41

Summary: The reader tries to live with what Negan's decisions led her to with his imprisonment in Alexandria and tries to do her best to fit in with those there. The birth of their child also changes Negan and the others in Alexandria. 

Characters: Reader, Negan, Daryl, Rick, Aaron, Siddiq, etc. 

Warnings: Not much of warnings here...maybe a depressed Negan, swearing and some angst. 

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9366677/chapters/54626290

Notes:   There are quite a bit of time jumps in this. I realize this story isn't as popular as some of my others, so to anyone that still reads this story, I love you and thank you so much! I appreciate it. I know this story is not the one people have been asking me to update, so I apologize for that, but believe me, I’m working my butt off to get chapters done for the other stories this weekend too. My muse just hit me harder on this one after I finished chapter 40. 

Turning to look out the window in your bedroom, your fingertips tapped against the top of the desk you were sitting at. Since being at Alexandria you had spent exceedingly large amounts of time alone in the room they had you set up in. It had been weeks since Rick let you see Negan. That night he had let you lay with Negan and since then he refused to let you go back. You assumed it was over the fact that they thought if you spent more time with Negan, you would be more likely to try to find a way to get him out of Alexandria. It was a ridiculous thought because there was no way out for you and Negan to escape. The walls were built like a prison and there was no way that Negan was in any shape to even try climbing them. You both were stuck in Alexandria in your own versions of prison.

When you’d leave the house and walk outside, you got a lot of stares. It was clear that most of Alexandria disagreed with the decision of keeping you there. The food was somewhat scarce at Alexandria so you hadn’t been eating much either. People probably felt like you didn’t deserve it. You had offered to Rick to try and help the community rebuild, but he insisted that someone who was as pregnant as you were shouldn’t be doing that which probably just made people think you deserved everything less.

They had very few people interacting with you. Your favorite was probably Siddiq because of how he seemed so unbothered by who you were and what you had done. He was clearly new to Alexandria and didn’t hold much of a grudge. It was clear that Aaron was trying with you, but he had said some things accidentally that were kind of harsh about Negan and about you. He was hurting and in pain from losing the love of his life and you understood it, but being around Aaron was hard too. Gabriel had often tried to come to talk to you, to get you talk about the things that had happened to him and you while at The Sanctuary, but talking to him was severely uncomfortable. It was odd, but Rick was surprisingly one of the only people you sadly trusted there and it was weird considering what he had done to Negan.

Looking down at the paper on your desk, you looked at the sketches you had drawn. You weren’t able to do much, so you had picked up drawing. It was nothing spectacular, but it gave you something to do to help pass the time. Shifting through the papers you heard the sound of someone outside your door and heard it opening.

Glancing over your shoulder, you gulped heavily when you saw it was Daryl standing in the doorway. Normally, Rick was the person who would drop in to see you for lunch or give you a small meal, but when you saw a plate in Daryl’s hands you gulped down heavily.

Daryl stepped forward, his emotionless blue eyes staring out at you as he tossed the plate out on the table and some of the food scattered. You lowered your head and tried to avoid conflict knowing that he was still very mad at you. Reaching out you pushed at the apple that had fallen off the plate.

“Thank you,” you whispered and Daryl let out what sounded to be a laugh. “I appreciate it.”

“I’m sure,” Daryl slurred leaning against the side of the desk in your room to reach out for the papers you were drawing on. “How does it feel to do nothing and be able to be rewarded for it?”

A gulp fell from your throat as you lifted your eyes to look up at Daryl who was looking at your sketches. When his eyes pulled from them and looked to you, you felt your throat go dry.

“I mean, before you were fucking Negan so at least you worked to get your food. Here…what good are you?” Daryl questioned and you felt an ache at the center of your chest. “You don’t deserve what you are being given.”

“Why do you hate me so much?” you blurt out knowing that you should have kept your mouth shut, but curiosity got the best of you. “When you snuck out of The Sanctuary I know that was you that came into my room and sat with me. I could tell that you still cared by the way you touched me, but when I talked about being pregnant is when you took off. Is it because I’m pregnant with Negan’s child?”

“Do I need a reason?” Daryl’s head cocked to the side and he bit down firmly on his bottom lip. “We all know you are going to try and help Negan escape. Rick offers you a home, he offers you a place to keep yourself safe and you’re just going to turn your back on the community. You don’t belong here. You belong out there with those savages at The Sanctuary.”

You nodded and lowered your head again to look at your feet. You know better than to speak your mind. Especially with everything Rick had given you. If you weren’t here you would have to be fending for yourself alone. You needed to be thankful to be in the same place as Negan and to be able to have a roof over your head.

“You do realize how wrong it was for them to keep Negan alive, right?” Daryl spoke up and you raised your eyes to him again, clearly a sense of anger over your face as Daryl cracked a smile. He knew he was getting to you and he liked it. “He’s still going to get his. No matter what Rick says, Negan is going to die.”

“I’m going to keep my faith in Rick and hope that he keeps Negan safe,” you answered, your eyes narrowing out at Daryl.

“It will happen, whether Rick wants it or not. His decisions make us look weak,” Daryl informed you of his opinion on things before tossing your papers back on top of the desk.

“This was something Simon was telling me about Negan not long ago. Simon told me how Negan’s decisions were wrong like you are telling me about Rick,” you stated, thinking back to what had happened to Simon after he questioned Negan’s judgments. “It didn’t work out so well for him.”

“You should treat me better than you are right now,” Daryl grunted, standing on his feet while he reached for the apple that was on your plate. He tossed it in the air a few times before shrugging his shoulders. “I actually think I’m the reason people haven’t come crashing through your door to take you out. I acknowledge we used to be friends and I reckon that’s why I did this, but I told everyone here that the baby inside of you is mine.”

“You did what?” you snapped, standing up from the chair. Your brow line creased and your face scrunched up in anger. “We never slept together. Why the fuck would you do that?”

“You really think these people are going to be okay with the fact you have that monster’s baby growing inside of you? Living here?” Daryl chuckled in response to your anger. “Call it what you want, but if people think that the baby is mine…they aren’t going to touch you, but if they think it is Negan that is the father…there is no questioning what they would do. Consider this my one good deed for you for keeping me fed while at The Sanctuary. I’m repaying you.”

“Oh yeah?” you rolled your eyes and moved around to your bed to sit down on the edge of the bed with a wince. Things got a lot harder the further along in your pregnancy you got. “How exactly is my baby yours since you told everyone? I should know the story of how we conceived our child, shouldn’t I?”

“You and I were both at The Sanctuary together, that’s all the information they need,” Daryl insisted, biting at his bottom lip. “So you can thank me for keeping your baby safe.”

“I’m not going to hide that Negan is the father,” you shook your head knowing that you wanted your baby knowing Negan. “My baby is going to know the man that is its real father.”

“You can tell your baby whatever you want,” Daryl’s drawl filled the air when he shrugged and tossed the apple back on the desk. “All that matters is what these people believe and I’d let them think what I told them.”

Daryl gave you a wink before leaving the room and you looked to the food on your desk knowing that you weren’t even hungry. You didn’t know what Daryl was pulling, but it couldn’t be good. While you could understand him saying that to keep you safe, you almost wondered if he had said it to put the idea into people’s heads so someway it ended up getting to Negan who would eventually question the idea himself.  

For the most part you hadn’t seen Daryl again for a few days after that visit. You were getting cabin fever and would gradually move yourself to the front porch attached to the house you were in. People seemed to keep an eye on you, but they weren’t up your ass like you thought they’d be. Aaron was the person that seemed to be keeping an eye on you today and you tried being friends with him or at least civil. It was just hard.

Looking across at the house that you knew Negan was still in while he was healing; you gulped down and looked to Aaron who was watching you closely with his intense blue eyes. It was almost as if half the time he was watching you and debating if he wanted to trust you or not. All the stares just were starting to get somewhat uncomfortable.

Letting out a gasp, you felt a fluttering in your abdomen and looked down at your swollen belly. You knew that you were further off in your pregnancy, but it wasn’t often that you felt the baby moving. It originally worried you at first because of the things you heard from others about pregnancy when you were younger.

“What is it?” Aaron quickly moved over beside you and you let out a nervous sound clearly thinking you were hurt. “What’s going on?”

“I think the baby is kicking,” you answered and Aaron’s big eyes looked you over. Aaron carefully moved down on the step beside you and cleared his throat uneasily. “Do you want to feel?”

“Kind of,” Aaron nodded with an unsure tone, but you could tell by the way he was looking that he was intrigued. You reached for Aaron’s hand and let him place it over your abdomen. He waited for a moment before his eyes got wide and he smirked. “This makes me think of Gracie.”

“How is she?” you questioned knowing that Aaron would occasionally talk about his daughter that he had adopted after she was parentless when her father was a Savior that has died. “I’m sure you would rather be with her right now than with me.”

“She’s great. She’s a good baby,” Aaron noticed his hand was still on your abdomen and he pulled it away with caution. “Eric would have loved it. We talked about having a family, but everything just happened and we never could.”

“I’m sorry,” you frowned thinking about the loss of Aaron’s love. You couldn’t say much because you knew he blamed Negan, but before you could say much more you could feel the baby moving again. “Would you let me see Negan so he can feel? Please?”

“Absolutely not,” Aaron immediately shook his head and stood from the stairs. “Why would you even ask me that?”

“Because it’s his baby Aaron, he has every right to feel it,” you tried to reason with him and he rolled his eyes before letting out a disgusted sound. “Please? I haven’t seen him in weeks. The baby should be coming soon and I just…I want him to know that baby is okay.”

“That man doesn’t deserve any rights,” Aaron answered with an angry scowl and you frowned. “I thought the baby was Daryl’s?”

“That was something Daryl told people to keep me safe apparently, but that’d be a little hard to do since I never slept with Daryl. The only man I’ve ever slept with is Negan,” you were honest with Aaron and his nose scrunched up in disgust with what you admitted. “I don’t know why Daryl is trying to make people believe that it is his.”

“You poor girl. That being the only experience sexually for you,” Aaron blurt out. Negan wasn’t that awful, but you weren’t about to spill out the sexual parts of your relationship with him. You shrugged and felt the baby kicking again making you let out another shocked sound. “I like you Y/N. You are a good person, but I can’t take you to him. It’s not allowed.”

“Please Aaron? Think about Gracie. You would have loved the chance to have felt something like that, right? If you had the chance,” you appealed to the side of him that you knew existed. Aaron wasn’t an awful person and you hoped you could pull out the good part of him. “It will be in and out. I promise. Please.”

“This isn’t fair of you to ask me,” Aaron paced in front of you and looked back at the home that Negan was in. He cussed under his breath before reaching for your arm to grab a hold of it. He led you toward the house and pulled you inside. Following closely, you moved up to the room that they had Negan in and when Aaron pushed the door open you saw Siddiq inside changing the bandage on Negan’s neck. When you saw the mark left from what Rick had done over Negan’s neck you gasped and turned away feeling the ache at your chest. Aaron was right behind you, making you run into him while he held you doing his best to comfort you after you saw the wound over Negan’s throat. “Hey…”

“Y/N?” Negan’s weak voice called out and you looked over your shoulder to see his tired eyes staring out at you when he lifted his head from the pillow. Siddiq looked over his shoulder to see you with Aaron at the door while he finished covering up the healing wound. “I’m okay…”

“It’s healing,” Siddiq confirmed and you could feel tears swelling at your eyes. The memory of Rick slitting Negan’s throat replayed in your mind and you felt very overwhelmed with the idea. While Negan was alive, the lack of being able to see him made it almost seem like he was dead. You were used to sleeping in bed with him every night, now everything was so lonely and empty. “Is everything okay?”

“The baby was just kicking and I asked Aaron to let…Negan feel,” you answered and Siddiq’s dark eyes thought it over for a moment before nodding. He slid back from the bed and took a seat at the corner of the room. Negan tried to sit up as best as he could while you slowly stepped forward. You didn’t think you’d have an audience, but you didn’t care at this point.

“Wow, you’ve gotten bigger,” Negan spoke up, his voice sounding very deep and rasp while he looked over your belly. A weak smile pressed in over the corners of his lips as he tried to reach his hand out to only let out a wince when he did it. The handcuffs slammed his hand back down and he whined when it did it. “How are you?”

“Better now that I’ve seen you,” you responded and he let out a tense laugh. You moved in beside him on the bed and he attempted to move his hands again, but was jolted back by the handcuffs once more. “How are you?”

“Better now that you’re here,” Negan answered in response with a sly smile and you reached out to place your hand over the center of his chest knowing that he was attempting to be silly. Negan looked between Siddiq and Aaron nervously. “It’s been…hard during the nights. I miss you…”

Leaning in, you tipped in closer to press a soft, tender kiss over his dry lips. Negan hummed in approval and when you pulled back slightly he leaned up enough to press his forehead to yours. A moment of silence filled the room and you cherished the warmth of Negan in front of you. You missed him so much and getting to be with him was an amazing thing. Another breath caught in your throat when you felt the baby kicking.

“The baby is kicking again,” you informed him and Negan smiled brightly. “Do you want to feel?”

“I…can’t,” Negan frowned and you heard Siddiq let out an awkward groan. You looked over your shoulder and saw Siddiq reaching for the keys from his pocket.

“Now would be a good time to tell you that I’ve got a gun on me and if you try to do anything I’m not afraid to use it,” Aaron warned Negan who looked between the two men confused as to why they were clearly being nice to him. Siddiq undid one of the handcuffs and Negan quickly scrambled to reach for your abdomen. His quickness had made Siddiq jump and Aaron had stepped forward, but Negan was just eager to feel his child. Aaron stepped in closer to the bed while Negan’s eyes searched yours. He was emotionless for a moment until he felt the kicking in your abdomen and a big, goofy smile pressed in over his features. Negan’s eyes immediately misted over while he stared out at you. “We have to finish this up you two. If someone comes in…”

The tears started to press in over the corners of Negan’s eyes and he nodded. He bit down on his bottom lip and leaned in to press another loving kiss against your lips. You wrapped your arms around Negan’s shoulders and felt him shaking. Nothing felt better than holding him. You were so lonely and being in his arms is what felt like home to you. Being away from him for so long is what made this all so hard.

“I love you,” Negan whispered while he caressed his hand over your abdomen in a soothing manner. “I love you so much and I’m sorry you have to go through this alone…”

Negan was clearly losing his voice from talking because he obviously hadn’t done as much of it when you weren’t around. You pulled away slowly and Negan reached his free hand up, to wrap around the back of your neck to bring you in for a more desperate kiss.

“Enough,” Aaron spoke up again reaching for your arm to pull you away from it. “We have to go.”

“Are you eating?” Negan breathed out, looking to the food that was on the nightstand. You nodded slowly and Negan shook his head. “I feel like you should be bigger than this. Take…my food.”

“No,” you shook your head, but Negan insisted. “Negan, you need to heal.”

“My baby needs it more than I do,” Negan insisted nodding toward Aaron while tears were still sliding down his face involuntarily. “You, will you ignore my wife and grab that? Take it with her?”

“I think she’s right, you need the food to heal,” Siddiq tried to reason with Negan and Negan shook his head. This was typical of Negan to be so damn stubborn when you didn’t want or need his food to begin with. “Take the food Aaron.”

“I guess now would be a bad time to ask for about five minutes to get a hand job, huh?” Negan tried to crack a joke and break the seriousness in the room. Both Siddiq and Aaron groaned, but you laughed knowing that Negan was just trying to be a dick. “No?”

“That wouldn’t even be good for you neck Negan,” Siddiq answered so seriously while putting the handcuff back on Negan’s wrist. “The stitches could pull and you would bleed out again if…”

“So that’s definitely a no then?” Negan snorted as you pulled from Aaron to move in to press another loving kiss over Negan’s lips. Your heart was breaking knowing that you had no idea how long it would be before you saw Negan again. You were crying and seeing Negan crying only hurt more. “I’ll always love you.”

“I’ll come see you in a few,” Siddiq promised, his eyes meeting yours when you stepped away from the bed. You went to move for the opened door when Negan cleared his throat uneasily.

“I’m not a thanking man,” Negan licked over his dry lips, attempting to get comfortable in a laying position again. Negan shifted his eyes between Aaron and Siddiq before giving one firm nod. “But thank you.”

There was a discomfort in Aaron’s face when Negan thanked him and you felt Aaron pulling you from the room and leading you back outside. When you left the house, you felt Aaron firmly release you and you watched him pacing in the middle of the street.

“Thank you,” you tried to thank him, reaching out for him and Aaron pulled his hands from you. “I really do appreciate what you did.”

“Good for you, but it is never…happening again!” Aaron firmly informed you, pointing back toward the house you were staying in. “I can’t believe I even agreed to it in the first place. That was wrong on so many levels and if people found out…”

“I’m not going to say anything, why would I do that?” you asserted firmly, stopping where you were to look out at him. Your hands threw up in the air and Aaron let out a frustrated breath. “Aaron, you did something nice for me. I would never let anyone know that to get you in trouble.”

“It’s not you I don’t trust,” Aaron looked back toward the house and he let out a long breath clearly letting the stress of it all get to him. “You deserve better than him.”

“My child deserves to have their father in their life. I haven’t seen him in weeks Aaron,” you tried to explain and Aaron just nodded back toward your home. “I promise I won’t say anything.”

Aaron agreed to forget it all together. After that, each day got longer and harder. The closer you got to the end of your pregnancy, the harder it was each day. You were getting nausea more often and you feeling more depressed. You were alone through most of the days and you missed Negan. You were upset with the idea of being alone. In the long months you had been at Alexandria, you had only been able to see Negan twice and it was killing you on the inside. You played well with the rest of Alexandria, but a lot of what they were doing with you felt cruel. You were attempting your best to keep high hopes and a positive attitude, but it was just so much easier to be the realist. You wanted to be with Negan, but you knew that was never going to happen. You couldn’t recall how many times you begged Rick to see him and how many times Rick denied it.

Sitting in your bed, you found yourself sketching again to try and get through your time. The days seemed to go by easier at The Sanctuary when you were with Negan. Even if the two of you were fighting, the days weren’t as miserable as they were now. You were actually happy then and everything you and Negan had fought about back then just seemed like a stupid thing now that you reflected on it.

There was a knock on the door and you lifted your head to see that it was Rick again bringing in some food for you. You let out a frustrated sound when you saw Rick and nodded toward the desk in your room when he came in. You weren’t in the mood for eating and lately seeing Rick had just made you madder. You weren’t happy with him that he wouldn’t even at least let you see Negan.

“How are you feeling?” Rick’s southern drawl filled the air and he put his hands on his hips. You shrugged and you knew that Rick was looking for a better answer than that. “You know, you have to do better than that for me. Your baby should be here soon and we need to know what to expect.”

“You’ve dealt with pregnancies Rick. I heard Maggie had her baby,” you gulped down heavily and noticed that Rick shifted uncomfortably when you mentioned Maggie. “Congratulations to her.”

“I’d tell her, but she’s not quite happy with me for keeping your husband alive,” Rick pointed out with a grunt as he moved over toward your bed. He took a seat on the edge of it and reached out for the paper in your lap. “You’re drawing Negan?”

“It may be the only way I get to see him from here on out,” you retorted and watched Rick’s eyebrows tense. “I think this is what he looks like. I’m going based off what I remember. You know I never pictured going through most of this pregnancy alone.”

“You’re not alone,” Rick insisted and you let out an amused laugh. “You’re not with Negan, but a lot of us come in here to spend time with you.”

“It’s not the same and you know that,” you sighed and reached for the paper from Rick’s fingers. You continued sketching while Rick got more comfortable on your bed. “So I can’t see him? Huh?”

“You know the answer to that,” Rick reminded you with a firm tone. You had asked so many times, you began to question why you even bothered at this point. “People still don’t trust you. I reckoned when Daryl told people that the baby was his they would, but people still feel uncomfortable with you here.”

“What have I done?” you grumbled, confused with his response. “I sit in this house day in and out. I sit on the porch on occasion. I think the only other place I have gone was to have a lunch at Siddiq’s. I can’t tell you how many times Gabriel has attempted to get me to come to church. I imagine it would burst into flames if I walked in there all over again since people think I’m evil.”

“Maybe it would be better for you to try to interact with others,” Rick urged you and you felt him reaching out to place his hand over your knee. You urged your leg from him and he realized you were uncomfortable. “I know you’re not evil. I know you’re just in love with him, but I can’t control what other people think. If you let them see the real you…”

“The only people who trust me slightly are you, Aaron, Siddiq, Eugene and somewhat Gabriel,” you thought to the people who actually treated you well. Siddiq was the person at this point other than Rick that treated you by far the best. You thought maybe he was doing it because you were pregnant and attempting to keep you as comfortable as he could for the baby. Rick you knew was doing this for the sake of Carl. Everyone else you kind of questioned their actions and why they were doing it. “No one wants me here Rick. They all have Daryl’s attitude toward me.”

“Well they will learn to like you,” Rick suggested and you noticed he wanted to talk to you about something. You could see it in his body language. “I just…we finished the cell for Negan and Siddiq thinks he’s healthy enough to be in there. We’re putting him in there tonight. I thought you should know.”

“Does it matter where he is? It’s not like I get to see him anyways,” you retorted with a bit of disgust in your tone. You knew that he was trying to be nice, but he never let you see Negan. That was part of the problem. If you would have been given the chance to see him sometimes it may have given you some kind of positive aspect on your life along with your future.

“Explain to me how you see something good in that man,” Rick begged, shocking you at his words. “I don’t see it. All I see is a cruel, unkind person. He’s someone who mocks people and brings out the worst in everyone. He’s a sarcastic, vile piece of shit.”

“There is more to Negan than a monster. I’m not going to say he is a good person because toward the end he was making questionable decisions that I don’t even think he could comprehend. When I first met him, he could kill someone and sleep through the night. When he was planning on attacking Hilltop, Alexandria and the Kingdom…he couldn’t sleep. When you told him about Carl…”

Rick’s empathetic expression seemed to get a bit stiff and angry when you brought Carl’s name into the conversation, “I’m sorry, but when you told him about Carl dying it really bothered him. He respected your son. He thought very highly of him.”

“I find that very hard to believe,” Rick’s voice was full of venom when you spoke of what happened with Negan. “It’s why I can’t even begin to understand why someone like you would fall for someone like him. You are so desperately in love and I don’t understand.”

“Do you think Michonne knows parts of you that no one else does?” you brought up Rick’s lover and you watched him swallow down hard. There was a silence that filled the air and you shrugged your shoulders. “Negan thought he was saving people. He thought what he was doing was right. He thought he was doing it to help people and to keep the people at The Sanctuary safe. Negan’s thoughts were never a hundred percent right and I didn’t always agree with him, but God there were parts of him…he was very sweet. We had our problems, but…”

“He had other wives,” Rick reminded you and you let out a frustrated sound. “How are you alright with that?”

“Believe it or not, he stopped sleeping with them before we got married. I acknowledge it was a rocky start, but I know a man that no one else knows,” you insisted, but Rick clearly still had a hard time believing you. “Negan really wanted a baby, badly. We tried for a long time, but it was kind of hard. When I finally realized I was pregnant, there were parts of him that if you could have seen…”

“I see he cares about the baby, I don’t want to upset you, but he does ask about you and the baby quite often. After being an asshole every time I see him. He somehow fits the two of you in there before cracking out sarcastic asshole comments,” Rick grumbled, dropping his palms back to rest his weight on them while he sat on your bed. “I gave him a chance because of what Carl asked of me, but if Carl hadn’t…”

“I’m sorry about your son,” you breathed, a heavy sigh falling from your lips. “I’m sorry about Carl. He was a brave, amazing young man. I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel…”

Rick swallowed down hard, his eyes misting over after you brought up his late son, “I wish I could have done something…”

“Carl went out doing what he believed to be right,” Rick informed you with a crackling in his voice. “It’s hard to look at Siddiq and not think of Carl. Carl was helping him with some walkers and he got bit. So when I see that boy I think of Carl and what I could still have if he would have just…”

Rick’s jaw clenched and he looked away from you. He was clearly trying to hold back his emotions and you felt an ache in the center of your chest. Shifting forward, you nervously reached out to try and support Rick to hug him. At first both of you were tense before relaxing the further the hug continued.

“Do you think you were forced into having feelings for him? Because that’s what Daryl seems to believe,” Rick’s question caused you to shudder when you pulled back and away from him. “Daryl believes you were brainwashed into loving him.”

“I love him Rick,” you explained firmly and you refused to say anything else. “I’m sorry that Daryl seems to think one thing, but I did make the conscious decision to marry Negan when I knew that he had Daryl. Maybe that does make me a bad person…”

“That’s not for me to judge,” Rick huffed before standing from the bed. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“I know you don’t believe me, but it would make life a whole lot easier if I could at least see Negan for a few minutes every week. I’ve seen him twice and it’s killing me,” you explained, sliding your hand in over your very swollen abdomen. “If I at least got to see him, I think it would make things easier.”

“I hear your request,” Rick replied and you watched Rick wipe at the corners of his eyes. “And I’ll think about it.”

Days had gone by and you had not seen Rick again after you had pled your case in getting to at least see Negan. You took that as a definite no. There was no way that Rick was going to allow it and you felt like he made it clear. After quite some time Aaron had tried taking the leap that no one else had and offered to have you over for dinner. You weren’t excited to go because you assumed it wouldn’t go very well since he was inviting a few people over. When you had arrived Aaron had tried talking with you and invited you to help him while he finished cooking.

“So how are you feeling?” you watched Aaron from across the kitchen while you worked on cutting some tomatoes like he had asked of you. The sound of a small popping sound filled the air and you let out a tense breath. “Everything okay?”

“Uhm,” you looked down and let out an uncomfortable sound. “I think my water just broke.”

A laugh fell from Aaron’s lips when he clearly thought it was a joke. When the color clearly drained from your face, Aaron let out a nervous sound. Aaron pulled the food away from the heat and tossed it aside before moving to you.

“I am so sorry,” you felt embarrassed and felt your heart start to pound inside of your chest. “Shit…”

“No, no. This is okay,” Aaron grabbed a hold of you and carefully urged you toward the front of the house. He asked for some of the people that were also going to be at the dinner to watch over Gracie before he called out for someone to get Siddiq when he led you outside.

Everything moved so fast and before you knew it, they had you in a bed and the amount of discomfort you had when strangers had started to pull your clothes from your body overcame you. Siddiq had tried to get you comfortable with him, but you weren’t. All of these people were mostly strangers and you were actually scared of what was going to follow. You wished you could go back in time and tell Negan no when he asked to have a baby. If you would have known that you would be alone and without Negan, you would have never done this.

Having Aaron, Siddiq and a few strangers around you just felt so uncomfortable. When you saw the door opening and watched Rick walk into the room you let out an inward groan. This wasn’t exactly what you had wanted to have Rick see you like.

“I’ve been present during a lot of births, I thought I could help,” Rick explained and you felt them covering you with a blanket to keep you from feeling uncomfortable while you were there. “Does it feel like it’s going to be happening soon?”

“It doesn’t feel great, I tell you that,” you blurt out with a frustrated breath. “Please get Negan.”

“No,” Rick refused firmly and you let out a wince feeling the pain from the obvious contractions and you grasped firmly to the bed. “We’ve got this. We’re all going to be here for you.”

“Rick please!” you whimpered letting your emotions get the best of you and you started to cry. “I don’t want to do this without him. I can’t do this without him.”

“You can, you’re strong,” Rick urged you, trying to reach out for your hand and you yanked it away. Rick gave you a once over, his jaw was clenching before you watched him storm out of the room.

“Ignore him,” Aaron muttered, doing what Siddiq was requesting of him and you just wished for all of this to be over. The books that Negan had given you never stressed the amount of pain that you would be going through with the birthing process. “It’s going to be okay.”

“It sure as hell doesn’t feel like it’s going to be okay,” you hissed, dropping your head back and Aaron hushed you.

It wasn’t long before the door was pushing open and you looked to the door to see Negan stumbling into the room. There were a pair of handcuffs on his wrists and it was clear that he was confused why he was here. Rick shoved him forward again before closing the door behind him. When Negan realized what was going on, you watched him quickly shuffle beside the bed you were on.

“It’s happening?” Negan muttered and you nodded. Negan noticed you were crying and he tried to reach out his hands for yours. Negan’s hair had grown out quite a bit and it was pretty messy. There were bags under his eyes and his beard had grown out. The amount of weight he had clearly dropped as well seemed to be alarming, but when you felt his hands squeezing onto yours everything stopped for just that moment. “Are you in pain?”

“Kind of, yeah,” you whispered with a half laugh and you felt Negan leaning in to press a quick kiss against your temple. You looked to Rick who was clearly irritated with the decision he made in going to get Negan, but you appreciated it more than he could have ever imagined. “Those books you gave me were full of shit Negan. This shit hurts…”

Negan laughed and it was weak. You could see the scar over his neck and felt your chest ache over it. Everything began to move so fast and before you knew it, it was clear the baby was coming. You had Negan trying to comfort you with the occasional words of encouragement from Rick. Your body hurt, you were physically drained completely and nothing could have ever prepared you for this. They urged you do the breaths that Siddiq had trained you for over the last few weeks, but you were so overwhelmed. Having them yelling at you to push and going through all of the motions were completely draining.

“Wow…” Negan had stepped away from the bed to look down below the blanket where Siddiq was clearly working and you watched his eyes get big. “The baby is certainly coming sweetheart. I see them…and this is definitely a sight I’m not going to forget.”

“Shut up Negan,” both Aaron and Rick simultaneously blurt out as he gave both of them a dramatic expression.

“Fuck off, I’m saying she’s never looked more beautiful than she does giving birth to my child,” Negan grunted and moved back beside you. Soon the pain had ended and you could see Rick and Siddiq talking. After everything was done you were surprised that you heard nothing. “What’s going on?”

“Give us a minute,” Rick explained and you felt panic fill your body. This wasn’t what you were expecting.

“What do you mean give you a second?” Negan snapped while holding tightly to your hand. “Rick?”

“I said give us a second,” Rick demanded and after a few moments of fiddling the sound of a cry filled the air and Rick let out a relieved breath. Rick reached for a blanket while they clearly did whatever they had to before you watched Rick move beside the bed with your child in his arms. Rick carefully lowered your baby to your arms and glanced to Negan who was pale as hell. Clearly both of you had been extremely scared by the panic over Siddiq’s face and Rick’s when something wasn’t going right. “It’s a boy.”

“A boy?” Negan blurt out while you carefully wrapped your arms around your son. The small cries filled the air and Negan let out an overwhelmed sound. “He’s perfect.”

“He’s letting the whole world know he’s here, just like his father would,” Rick threw in a jab and Negan glanced up at Rick before blowing off the comment. Negan sat on the edge of the bed as close to you as he possibly could.

You were weak and overwhelmed, but everything felt right in that moment while Negan stared down at your child in your arms lovingly. You were scared how everything would turn out, but while Siddiq finished up things, you felt safer than you thought you would.

The tension had died down in the room and everyone had seemed to have gone quiet while you watched Negan reach out with his handcuffed hands to trace his fingertips over your son’s cheek.

“I never imagined I could make something so perfect,” Negan informed you with a half-smile. His eyes were damp and it was clear he wanted to cry, but was holding back. “You did a great job momma. I love you.”

“I love you too,” you breathed out with a tired sound as Negan leaned down to press a loving kiss against your lips.

Negan had carefully pulled himself back and looked to Rick who was watching the both of you closely, “Would you let me hold my child. Please?”

“No,” Rick shook his head and Negan let out a disappointed sound and you could see the sadness over Negan’s face. Rick growled before urging people out of the room and when it was only the three of you in the room, Negan let out a nervous breath. Rick stepped beside the bed and reached for Negan’s handcuffs. “Don’t make me regret this Negan. I’m not afraid to put a bullet between your eyes.”

“Sounds like the perfect end to the night prick,” Negan snorted and Rick gave Negan one final glare before pulling the cuffs from Negan’s wrists. Rick moved over to sit in the corner of the room as Negan pulled the blue, long sleeved shirt from his body and tossed it aside. You carefully moved over in the bed and allowed Negan some space to sit in it with you. You worked together to carefully let Negan hold your son. The moment Negan had him in his arms he instantly started to cry and you pulled your aching body cautiously up to wrap your around him in a loving way. “I can’t believe we made this.”

“Neither can I,” a tired sound fell from your throat and Negan pulled your son up to press a gentle kiss over his forehead. “Ethan turned out pretty special, huh?”

“Ethan?” Negan turned his head to look at you with a goofy smile and you nodded. Negan was so excited at the idea of naming his son Ethan; you only figured it was right to allow that. “Yeah, Ethan is better than I could have ever imagined.”

There was a long amount of time where you spent silent while you and Negan laid together, comfortable with each other while Negan held Ethan in his arms. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt this happy. It was a long time ago and you wished this moment would honestly last forever. You wished it would never end, but you knew that good things never lasted.

“It’s time,” Rick stood from the corner of the room and you felt your heart begin pound. The color drained from Negan’s face when he looked between you and the baby. “I didn’t even want to bring you in here in the first place, you’re lucky you were here to see Ethan’s birth.”

“Rick please…just a little while longer?” Negan pleaded with the man himself and Rick stepped closer to the bed. “Just let me stay until the morning. No one will know I was here. You can return me before everyone wakes up. Please.”

“No,” Rick insisted with a firm tone and you felt Negan’s body locking up even more beside you. “Don’t make me say it again Negan.”

“Rick,” you tried to urge him and Rick shook his head. “Please.”

“It’s been long enough. Negan isn’t a free man. When I told him he was going to rot behind those bars, I meant it. You aren’t going to get comfortable having the dream life. The same kind of life you stole from others,” Rick demanded and Negan’s jaw tensed from Rick’s response. “You’re lucky I did this…”

“I’m going to be alone Rick,” you reminded him and Rick threw his hands up in the air.

“And Maggie is without a husband because of him and her baby no longer has a father,” Rick dug that last bit of information in and Negan let out a sound like he had been hit in the gut.

“I’m so sorry, I really fucked this whole thing up,” Negan apologized, giving Ethan another look over before kissing him again. Negan carefully returned Ethan to your arms and pressed a loving kiss against your lips before he stood up from the bed. Negan was crying, but was doing as Rick requested. Rick grabbed a tight hold of Negan and forcefully put his handcuffs back on. “I just want you to know the best thing I ever did in this world was fall in love with you and be able to make that beautiful boy. No matter what, just know I love you both so very much.”

“I love you too,” you cried watching the man you loved being shoved toward the door by Rick who made it clear to let you know that the fantasy you had in being with Negan was just a bunch of shit that would never happen. You found his decision to rip Negan away from you very cruel, but there was clearly nothing you could do to get him to change his mind.

“Please read him that story I did when you first got pregnant and tell him I love him every night,” Negan gave one final request as Rick slammed the door shut behind him while breaking your heart in the process. You should have known that your perfect moment was going to end fast and it would hurt, but you never realized just how fast and how much it would truly hurt.

----

Weeks after the birth of Ethan, you found yourself sitting in the room that they had set up for Ethan. It seemed like the house they had you in was slowly becoming yours even though in the past it would be a place for the new people of Alexandria. You were happy to have a home alone for you and Ethan so that way you weren’t worried about what they could do to Ethan. You made sure during the night when you were sleeping to either stay in Ethan’s room they had set upstairs with yours or you would bring Ethan into your room with you. It was hard to be away from Ethan at all.

You were surprised how good Ethan actually was. He was surprisingly a lot better than you pictured he would be. He cried, but it was rare. For the most part he was a happy baby. It was just hard being alone. You never truly realized the loneliness that would come with raising a child on your own.

Your heart was still broken with the way that Rick had ended things for you and Negan that night, but there was nothing else you could do other than move on. Every night you read him the book that Negan had wanted to read him. Rick had sent some people to The Sanctuary to get your things to bring them back so you could take care of Ethan. It was hard thinking back to how Negan had talked about getting to talk to Ethan during your pregnancy. How he wanted to be able to talk to him every night and how he wanted to read to him before Ethan would sleep.

Hearing the sound of movement in your house, you heard footsteps coming up the stairs and swallowed down heavily. It was nice that they had people stop watching you at this point, but the idea that people were allowed to come into your home as they pleased made you uncomfortable. Looking up to the door pushing open, you swallowed down hard when you saw Daryl standing before you. It had been so long since you had seen him last that you were surprised to even see him there.

In his hands he was carrying a teddy bear and you shifted uncomfortably in your seat when he stepped into the room. Daryl’s blue eyes searched yours for a long moment before he kicked softly at the ground.

“I heard you had your baby,” Daryl spoke up and you nodded. You didn’t know what to say. “I brought this for them.”

“That’s nice of you,” you responded with a heavy breath watching Daryl’s eyes narrow and you nodded toward the crib where Ethan was sleeping. “His name is Ethan.”

“Ethan? So it’s a boy?” Daryl inquired and you nodded slowly. Daryl moved across the room and set the stuffed animal on the dresser that was in the room. He stepped to the edge of the crib and looked down at Ethan sleeping. “When’s the last time he ate?”

“Not long ago,” you answered not sure why Daryl was there since he made it very clear he didn’t like you. “He is a bit of a pig though, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s hungry again soon.”

“Can I…hold him?” Daryl looked back over his shoulder at you. You felt your heart rate leap in your throat and you looked Daryl over. You didn’t know if he was sincere. Hell, you didn’t even know if you could trust Daryl at this point. “I’m pretty good with kids. I did a really good job with Judith when she was a baby. We all kind of split up the duties of helping when she was born, so I know what I’m doing.”

“I guess so,” you licked at your lips watching Daryl reach down carefully in the crib to grab Ethan. Ethan cooed somewhat when Daryl pulled him slowly into his arms. You watched Daryl’s face twist with an unreadable reaction when he looked over your son with Negan.

“Ethan, eh?” Daryl lifted his head up to look at you with a half grin. He softly hummed something to the baby and you didn’t know how to respond to Daryl holding your child. “This is way too cute to be Negan’s child.”

You chuckled hearing Daryl baby talking to Ethan about how cute he was. It was charming, but at the same time you didn’t really like all the negative comments that you received about Negan when the people who knew it was Negan’s son commented on him.

“You’re a handsome lil guy aren’t you?” Daryl slurred, a smirk sneaking in over the corners of his lips while he carefully bounced Ethan in his arms in a soothing manner. “He smiled at me.”

“Oh yeah?” you slowly pulled yourself up from the rocking chair in the room. Your body was still aching from all it had been through and you were honestly tired. You were afraid to sleep with the people that were in Alexandria. They might have not trusted you yet, but you certainly didn’t trust them either. Stepping in beside Daryl you saw that Ethan’s eyes were somewhat opened and he was smiling while Daryl hummed a song to him. “He’s beautiful.”

“Nah, you can’t call a bad ass lil dude like this beautiful. That’s going to break his ego,” Daryl grumbled, looking to you and giving his head a firm shake. “Handsome is a better word.”

“I think he’s beautiful,” you chuckled and Daryl scoffed before looking back to Ethan again. “Why are you here Daryl?”

“I did tell everyone he was mine,” Daryl pointed out, his eyebrow arching when he spoke. “I guess it’s to keep up with appearances and what not.”

There was something different over his face and you shook your head, “I don’t believe that.”

“It’s somewhat true,” Daryl sighed, nodding toward the floor. “I found the bear and thought he deserved something nice. Just because his father is a monster, doesn’t mean he is. And you aren’t either…”

“No?” you poked further hearing his heavy exhale fill the air. “I thought I was.”

“I was being an asshole,” Daryl explained with a shrug. “You and Ethan belong here. You should be safe. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you,” you swallowed down. You didn’t want to say you accepted his apology because at the end of the day Daryl did and said awful things to you, but you appreciated he said what he did. “I appreciate that.”

“I think little man is ready for some food,” Daryl watched Ethan’s face scrunch up and smirked. “You ready for him mom?”

“Sure,” you moved back to the rocking chair and Daryl carefully lowered Ethan into your arms. Daryl stood above you for a moment before lowering down. His hand wrapped around the side of your neck to urge you closer to him so he could kiss you on the temple.

“You did a good job, you both did,” Daryl nodded down toward Ethan. “I’m proud of you.”

You weren’t sure what to say. To hear that really hit you hard and you could feel your eyes misting over. It was hard being alone without Negan, raising Ethan on your own, but to hear those words come from a man you never expected to care for you again blew your mind. Daryl gave Ethan one final smile before heading for the door.

“I’ll be back to see him, if you’re okay with that?” Daryl questioned looking for confirmation from you. You shrugged and Daryl nodded slowly. “I’ll see you two later then.”

Hearing the sound of another voice outside the door, you looked up to see Rick and Daryl running into each other in the hallway. There was a glare that pressed in over Daryl’s features before he walked away without saying anything to Rick. When Rick stepped into the room, he took a look around and nodded toward you, “Is everything alright?”

“He just came to see Ethan,” you informed him with a heavy breath while Rick moved in to look over Ethan. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been thinking,” Rick began with a long breath. “I hate Negan. He’s an awful man and he doesn’t deserve any kind of happiness. Whatsoever. But I’m punishing you and Ethan by not letting you see him. I’ve decided against the urgings of the people in town that I’m going to let you see him twice a week with the baby. He’s not going to be able to come outside the bars and you are going to have someone there to monitor things to make sure nothing is happening.”

“What?” your throat went dry at his announcement and you weren’t sure how to take the information.

“I’m letting you see Negan. Two times a week we’ll set up a short amount of time you can go down in the room where his cell is to see him. We’re going to be monitoring you while you do it. Someone is on Negan’s cell at all times to keep guard. Whoever is there that day will be the one in there with you,” Rick listed off the rules and you heard Ethan let out a small whine while you tried to rock him to give you a moment. “I know you hate me for what I did when Ethan was born and I reckon I don’t blame you. I deserve it.”

“Thank you,” you muttered, looking down to Ethan in yours arms. “When will we get to see him?”

“We’ll try today, but I’m going to warn you…he’s not acting like Negan. I mean he’s a fucking asshole and he’s a sarcastic shit than can get under your skin, but…” Rick cleared his throat. “He’s not acting like himself.”

You took Rick’s words at face value. You fed Ethan and waited until the time Rick told you that you could go see Negan. When you got to the place where Negan’s cell was, there was a stranger guarding the entrance. Someone you had yet to meet and when his eyes met yours, you could tell he was pissed.

“Just for the record, a lot of us don’t agree with this,” the man retorted with an angry grunt. “I’m doing this because Rick told me I had to, but if I had the choice, I’d let this asshole rot.”

You said nothing, you were afraid to. You had your son in your arms and this man clearly knew that this was Negan’s child. You weren’t going to bother him more than he already was bothered. It was clear people here still had something against you and you weren’t going to put your son in harm’s way.

Moving down the stairs, you heard the stranger order you to stay where you were when you entered the dark room. Glancing across you could see the cell that they had made for Negan. It was small, dark and the only amount of light that entering the area was from the window they had in Negan’s cell. The window was boarded up with only small separations from the daylight coming through. There was a small cot in the room, a bedpan that was in the corner and one single trash can.

When you stepped in closer, in the shadows you could see that Negan was sitting in the corner of the cell on the floor. His head was hunched down, his breathing was heavy. Ethan started to softly cry and you watched Negan’s head shoot up when he heard it. Negan quickly tried to scramble to his feet when he saw you standing there. The stranger moved in beside you and you watched Negan fall to his knees again when he attempted to get up.

“Negan,” you stepped forward with a nervous breath and you noticed his arms shaking while he lifted his head to look at you. He got up carefully and pulled himself to the bars of his cell. Negan grasped tightly onto them and you could see that his hair and beard were even longer than before. You tried moving forward and the stranger kept you hooked back by the arm. “Rick said I could see him.”

“See him, I ain’t letting you anywhere near him,” the stranger scoffed and Negan looked to the man beside you. “Who knows what kind of shit you will do to help him get out.”

“I’m not going to try to get out,” Negan promised with a pleading in his tone. “My family is safe here. I’m not going to jeopardize that.”

“Shut up Negan,” the stranger snapped and you could hear Ethan crying.

“It’s okay buddy,” Negan tried to step on the bars to be able to see Ethan. “Is he alright?”

“He’s okay,” you assured Negan knowing that you hadn’t taken Ethan out before on a walk and he was probably uncomfortable with the change in the area. “How are you?”

“I’m okay,” Negan lied with a very rasp tone and you looked to the stranger.

“Please let me at least let him see the baby,” you begged and the stranger snorted and shook his head. “We love you Negan…”

“I love you too,” Negan frowned, wrapping his hands firmly around the bars. “How have things been?”

“He’s a great baby. Very happy,” you explained and Negan cracked a smile. “Only really cries when he is hungry for the most part. Smiles…a lot. Kind of like his father.”

“Say whatever you want, but then you are done,” the stranger snapped and you couldn’t believe how fast everything happened. When Rick told you that you’d be able to see Negan, you didn’t think it would be like this. You figured you would be able to be close to Negan and that you would be in there for more than a few minutes.

“Are you reading to him every day? Telling him I love him?” Negan stammered and you nodded. Before you could even say your goodbyes and tell each other you loved each other, you were being tugged out of the room and being pulled back outside.

It was a hard few days until it was your time to see Negan again a few days later. This time it was Gabriel who met you at the door. He had a happy smile on his face when he took a look over Ethan. It was hard to see Gabriel’s eye, but it definitely seemed like it wasn’t something he wasn’t letting get in the way. He didn’t even acknowledge it. He had gone blind from pulling the stunt with Negan back at The Sanctuary, but it didn’t seem to knock him down a peg at all.

“Look at this gorgeous little guy,” Gabriel moved forward and you jumped slightly and he caught onto it, pulling away. You were just used to the previous person that was at Negan’s cell and you were nervous with how people would respond to Ethan. “It’s okay if you don’t want me to touch him. I understand.”

“It’s alright,” you noticed he was actually being quite polite. Gabriel brushed his thumb along Ethan’s cheek and nodded toward the cell area that Negan was in. You followed him into the cell and you stood there. Negan was sitting on the very small cot this time with his head in his hands.

“Your family is here,” Gabriel informed Negan and Negan lifted his head from his hands. Negan slowly stood and Gabriel noticed you weren’t moving. “Go ahead.”

“I’m allowed to be by him? The last guy wouldn’t let me move past here. They were very aggressive about it and let me know that I would only have a few minutes,” you watched Gabriel’s face twist with disgust and he waved Negan close to the bars. Negan walked slowly to the bars seemingly in pain while you moved in closer. “I can’t let him out, but you are allowed to be near him. I’ll see what I can do about making sure the person who is on duty that day is someone…human. You definitely have more than just a few minutes.”

“Thank you Gabe,” Negan eagerly stammered as you moved closer to the bars. Negan got the first look of Ethan and he let out a trembling breath. “Jesus, he’s gotten so big already. Look at the gorgeous little guy.”

“He’s beautiful,” you responded watching Negan reach out to caress his hand over the side of Ethan’s face. Ethan seemed to coo when Negan touched him and you got as close to the bars as possible.

“He sure is,” Negan agreed with a whimper while he looked up at Gabe. “Can you let them in here? I’d love to hold him.”

“Negan, I’m sorry… I have to do what I’ve been told and Rick said no one goes in or out,” Gabriel apologized, clearly uncomfortable with the request. Negan frowned and he pressed in closer to the bars.

“I love you so much,” Negan muttered and you tipped up on your toes to press a loving kiss over his lips. You had never been with Negan while his beard was this big and messy. You’d actually never been with Negan when he was this disheveled and unkept. “You’re such a good mother. I wish I was there to help you baby.”

“Me too,” you whimpered feeling Negan’s other hand reaching up to caress over the side of your face. You both were silent while Negan held onto Ethan’s little hand. Negan had started crying again and you could see out of the corner of your eye the empathetic expression over Gabriel’s face. Negan was clearly broken up about the fact that he couldn’t be with his son and Gabriel seemed like one of the only people who truly believed that in Negan.

You hadn’t done much talking that day, just did a lot of touching and being in close contact with each other. It was clear that Negan was craving that close contact and was afraid of not being able to see Ethan again. When it was time to leave Gabriel allowed you to kiss Negan goodbye and promised that he would make sure when you visited Negan from here on out, it would be someone who listened to the rules that was there monitoring the two of you together.  

Those two days a week became the only things you started looking forward to. Gabriel had kept up his end of the bargain and each day they allowed you in there, they let you be close to Negan. He was never allowed out of the cell and you two were never allowed in with him, but they let you visit. Time passed by so quickly, but the one thing you had begun to notice is how weak Negan seemed to have gotten. He moved slower and it was hard seeing the man you loved slowly becoming someone that looked like a broken down version of himself. You had asked him if he was eating and taking care of himself, but he would always blow off the question to talk about Ethan.

Over a year had passed and while you loved being able to spend time with Negan, his hair had grown down to the bottom of his neck and his beard was large. He looked in pain most of the time and the amount of weight he had lost was very shocking. You tried to convince him into eating around you when Ethan and you were with him. A lot of the time, he would blow it off to say he wanted to spend more time with the two of you while you were there. What was nice is they had begun to trust you to the point that they actually didn’t force you to have someone monitor you and Ethan with Negan anymore. Someone would be outside, but they left you be alone with Negan inside that room. It seemed like the people at Alexandria were starting to trust you with Negan and it was a nice change. It just broke you to see the sadness that Negan tried to hide every time you walked into the cell with him. Negan’s hair had gone salt and pepper very quickly within the last year. The jet black hair was no longer a thing and you could tell it was from all that was happening to him.

Negan’s gorgeous smile would still press in over his lips when you two would come down to visit him, but there was something different in his face. Negan was sad and it was clear that he was sad, but did his best to hide it when you were down there with him.

“Hey buddy,” Negan’s weak voice spoke up as he lowered down to his knees while you were holding onto Ethan’s hands while Ethan balanced on his feet. “Look at my handsome little man. I still can’t fucking believe I missed his first steps.”

“I wish his first steps would have slowed down. He tries to go everywhere and fast…he keeps me on my feet,” you informed Negan with a small laugh. Negan reached out through the bars and Ethan’s little hands reached out for Negan’s. Your son was over a year old now and you could tell that it killed Negan that he couldn’t hold Ethan. You thought Rick would eventually break, but he never did. “He’s focusing on trying to get some words out.”

“Oh yeah? Like dada?” Negan hummed making Ethan laugh out loudly. Negan made a dramatic face and made his son giggle once more. “You’re going to say dada first, aren’t you?”

“No, it’s going to be mama,” you teasingly played, getting on the ground beside Ethan while Negan playfully wiggled Ethan’s little arms. Ethan’s laugh was like music to your ears when Negan leaned forward to press playful kisses against his little hands. “He looks so much like you.”

You watched the two boys play with each other and Negan’s dimples sucked in. You were surprised about how his dimples were still very visible through the bushy beard over his face. Ethan reached his hands out to grab at Negan’s beard and you heard Negan laugh.

“You think so?” Negan leaned forward through the gap in the bars to press a kiss against Ethan’s forehead.

“He has your coloring, your eyes and your smile,” you recalled all the things you had picked up on. You had spent so much time with Ethan alone that there were things you could pick up on your son that you had seen in the man you loved. A genuine smile pressed in over Negan’s lips. Something you hadn’t seen on Negan’s face for a while.  “He really loves you. You give him the biggest laughs.”

“That’s because dada is silly,” Negan made another silly noise and Ethan started giggling again. “Can you say dada?”

“D…” Ethan began with another laugh and Negan wiggled Ethan’s little hands. Negan was making silly faces to make Ethan continue to laugh and seeing them together made your heart full.

“Come on, say dada,” Negan’s tone of voice rose and was silly while talking to your son. “Can you say it for daddy, huh? Dada.”

“Mmm…” Ethan hummed and bubbles came from his lips making Negan chuckle again.

“It’s almost there,” you stammered and Negan smirked when Ethan dropped to his bottom on the floor. Negan released Ethan’s little hands before he reached out for your hand to grab a firm hold of it. “Are you okay Negan?”

“All that matters is that you two are okay,” you looked to Negan’s hands seeing that they were somewhat dirty and you squeezed your fingers around them tightly. “I love you guys.”

“Are you letting them bathe you?” you inquired and Negan’s face scrunched up.

“I don’t really trust any of them, but the creepy one eyed father,” Negan swallowed down hard. “The other ones, if I let them I’m pretty sure I’d end up with a few stab wounds. Some of them will fill a bucket of water for me and then let me bathe myself, but it’s the whole handcuffing me to the bars things that makes me nervous.”

Ethan reached his hands out again and Negan kept one of his hands in yours before returning his other hand to Ethan while Ethan played with Negan’s fingers.

“I can ask if I can bathe you, maybe they will let me,” you offered and Negan frowned. “They might…”

“They don’t even let you in here,” Negan reminded you with a saddened breath. “There is no way they are going to let you bathe me. I’ve tried to stress that I wouldn’t leave because I want to keep you guys safe here, but…”

“I can try,” you suggested and Negan lowered his head almost as if in shame. “I mean, I dig the whole homeless man look and Ethan loves playing with your beard, but…”

“I’ve never had my hair this long,” Negan informed you with a heavy sigh. His eyes lifted slowly and you shrugged. “I’m probably not all that appealing to you anymore.”

“You will always be appealing to me,” you rejected his comment quickly and leaned in to meet his lips in a quick kiss before the door opened and the person who was guarding outside called out your name to alert you that your time was almost up. Negan let out a frustrated sound and you got on your knees, leaning in to brush a soft, gentle kiss over Negan’s lips. “You’re the only one Negan.”

Negan didn’t say anything, just nodded and swallowed down hard. There were visible tears at the corners of his eyes while he watched you closely. Ethan was still playing with Negan’s fingers as you reached for your son and heard him start to cry when you headed for the door.

The further away you got from Negan, the harder Ethan seemed to cry and you watched Negan get to his feet to clutch the bars harder. Ethan stretched his arms out and attempted to reach for Negan making you stop in your tracks.

“Dada,” Ethan seemed to wail and tremor when you felt your heart break. Tears burned at your eyes hearing Ethan speak his first word. Your heart was broken by how fast and how hard Ethan reacted to having to leave Negan. “D…”

“Please…five more minutes,” Negan begged, grasping to the bars as tightly as he could. You looked back at the guard and saw them uncomfortable. “Please, it’s his first word…”

The person guarding the outside let out a frustrated sound before groaning to themselves. They looked to Ethan who was still heavily sobbing and it was clear they were saddened by Ethan’s tears, “Shit…fine.”

You moved back to the bars and watched Negan reach his hand out to caress over the side of Ethan’s face while Ethan’s crying started to die down, “I don’t want to leave you either buddy. If I could I would spend every minute of every day with you. I love you so much.”

Negan’s voice trembled while he cried over his son’s outburst and you couldn’t find yourself jealous of that moment. You were with Ethan the most, but hearing him say dada first really proved how much he loved being around Negan. It was clear that Ethan loved his father. Negan did his best to lean forward to press a loving kiss against Ethan’s forehead.

“Dada…” Ethan’s tears were sliding down his chubby cheeks, but his crying had seemed to calm down. Negan was caressing over the side of Ethan’s face gingerly before Negan looked to you with tears sliding down his face.

“I can’t keep doing this. I miss you guys so much…” Negan whimpered finally letting you know that he was broken. His chest was rising and falling heavily. It was also clear that his body was visibly trembling. “I wanted to be a good father so bad and I’m missing out on everything. You’re having to do everything on your own and I’m stuck here. With nothing…”

“Negan…” you tried to reach out with your free hand not holding onto Ethan and you pulled his head in closer so you could press a kiss over his forehead. “We’ll try to figure something out, okay? I promise.”

“These days are short and I just don’t know what to do. These are all I have,” Negan whimpered and you tried calming both the men in your arms. You wished you could hold them both, but the bars kept you from doing so. “I can’t hold you. I barely get touched. I barely have someone to talk to. I can’t hold my son and it’s killing me…this feels more like torture than giving us a gift. It puts everything I want in front of me and yet I still can’t have it.”  

Negan cuddled his head in closer to yours and you felt your heart breaking for him. You didn’t know what you were going to do to help him, but you were going to try your best to help him without harming your family’s safety in Alexandria.

[beautifully-tuan]

3 - actually not sorry

Jinyoung x musical critic!reader a lil angst, kinda funny lol, fluff-ish Warning: cursing

Masterlist Part One    Part Two

 You had all your reasons to stay mad at Jinyoung for an entire week. He had called you a hypocritical bitch after all. You hated that he acted so petty about it, without even allowing you to speak and get your point across. Not that you had to justify yourself to him for doing your job anyway, but the man just couldn’t get that into his stubborn head. You could understand he was angry. Who wouldn’t get upset after reading such brutal words? But if only he’d given you a chance to speak and explain why you wrote them, maybe things wouldn’t have gone so bad. Is this karma, you thought to yourself.

  You were surprisingly sad about this whole situation, because you couldn’t help but think you and Jinyoung could’ve been something. You got along really well with each other, not just sexually but also conversationally, intellectually and emotionally. You pretty much valued the same things, and you felt like you had possibly missed out on something great. The fear of permanently losing Jinyoung before even actually having him was, most probably, your motivation to get over yourself after an entire week of wanting to strangle him. Whether you liked it or not, you had him under your skin.

 You came to the conclusion that a good old confrontation was the best way out of this sticky mess. You decided to talk to him once and for all and lay your cards on the table, so you could communicate like the grown and civilized adults that you were. But there was a problem: Jinyoung was acting like a child. He avoided you like plague whenever he could. And when he couldn’t – because he couldn’t act too weird in front of the clueless GOT7 members – he threw weird looks in your direction, responded dismissively to everything you’d say, and roasted you at any chance he got. The rest of the boys found it normal, thinking that Jinyoung was just comfortable enough around you to be his overly savage self. You were the only one who knew of his hatred towards you. He was making it even harder for you to find the will to talk to him.

 After a concert, you heard the boys talk about going out in the city with their manager for a visit, and you heard Jinyoung say he didn’t want to go because he was too tired. This was your best chance. You immediately went and locked yourself in your room, patiently waiting, until you heard a knock on your door.

 - “We’re heading out” Bambam said when you opened. “Wanna come with us?”

 - “Thanks but I can’t, I’m sorry. I got tons of work to finish and then I’m going straight to bed. Maybe another time.”

 - “Okay, no problem. Good luck then” he said sweetly before turning on his heels to leave.

 - “Oh, wait” you stopped him. “Are all of you guys going? I have an article to finish and I was hoping I could ask one of you some questions and get it done with. Anyone would do.”

 - “Ah yep, Jinyoung’s in his room. He’s too old to go out with us” Bambam joked.

 - “Great then I’ll go talk to the grandpa. Have fun out there.”

 - “Thanks, bye” he said and disappeared at the corner of the corridor.

 Now that you had the confirmation that Jinyoung was there alone, you armed yourself with courage and determination. When you arrived in front of his door, you took a deep breath and knocked.

 - “Who’s that?” he called.

 - “It’s me.”

 You heard him sigh from the other side of the door. For a split second, you thought he would ignore you. But apparently, he was smart enough to understand that you weren’t going to leave him alone. You heard his footsteps approaching. The second the door opened, not giving him the chance to dismiss you again, you immediately blurted out a “We need to talk” before walking past him and into his room.

 - “Go ahead, make yourself at home” he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

 You gestured him to sit down on the bed and went to stand in front of him with your arms crossed. He stared at you, looking almost bored, waiting for you to say something.

 - “You want to talk, then talk. Is it about that sweet new article you uploaded?”

  That new article. The one where you showcased GOT7’s qualities and achievements. You had totally forgotten about it. At this point you almost wished it had never been published, not wanting to give Jinyoung the satisfaction of reading it. You didn’t write that article for him, but something about his amused expression hinted that he was convinced you did so.

 - “No, it’s not about that.”

 - “Okay, then are you going to apologize?”

 It’d only been one minute and you were already annoyed.

 - “No, I’m not.”

 Jinyoung raised his eyebrows, genuinely surprised that you hadn’t come to apologize.

 - “Why not?”

 - “Because I’m not sorry” you simply said with a shrug.

 He snorted in disbelief.

 - “Then why am I even listening to you?”

 You were internally boiling up, but you held on.

 - “Because I can explain everything.”

 - “Oh, so you can explain stuff but not apologize?”

 - “Will you stop being a jerk and listen to me?” you snapped, out of patience.

 Jinyoung rolled his eyes and, once again, you feared he would ask you to leave or say something mean again, but he didn’t. He urged you to speak, and so you did.

 You explained everything, not omitting a single detail. You told him that you wrote that article when you weren’t close to him or GOT7 yet. You told him that you only wrote about what you saw and your opinion on it, because that was your job. You saw that JYP Entertainment had too much control over GOT7, whom let that happen without protesting, which made them look like children under their company’s influence, at least from your point of view. You were paid to be honest, not to please the artists you were writing about. Yes, it was unfortunate that it took so long for things to reveal themselves as they truly were, but there was nothing you could do about it. You explained to Jinyoung that he had the right to be upset about it, but he also had to try and understand. You also made it clear that you didn’t write the second, more flattering article to seek forgiveness for him, but because it was the truth and it needed to come out.

 The entire time you spoke, Jinyoung had his arms resting on his thighs, hands intertwined, nodding his head every now and then. He seemed to listen carefully, but you just weren’t sure anymore. You never knew what to expect from this man: one minute he’s acting all petty and condescending, the other he’s serious and attentive. He kept you on your toes, and your heart was pounding in your chest the entire time.

 Once you’re finished, he doesn’t say anything, looking down, as if processing all the information you’d given. You sigh in relief, feeling a heavy weight being taken off your shoulders.  

 - “... I see” Jinyoung murmurs after a minute of silence.

 - “Yeah, so that’s why” you say, wiping your sweaty hands on your pants.

- “Cool” he says, a sweet smile on his face. “I guess you can go now.”

 Your jaw dropped.

 - “Is that it? Is that all you have to say?”

 - “What were you expecting? Make up sex?”

 - “No, you idiot” you said, fuming. “Don’t you have anything you wanna tell me? Something around the lines of ‘I’m Sorry’?”

 - “Why should I apologize when you refuse to?”

 - “Because you called me a bitch, Jinyoung.”

 - “And you called me a puppet.”

 - “I just told you I was only doing my job!” you practically screamed.

 - “You hurt my pride!” he deadpanned, just as loud.

 A fake, irritated laugh escaped you.

 - “That’s a ridiculous excuse.”

 - “Your ‘I was doing my job’ shit is just as funny to me” he pointed out.

 - “Well I’m not going to apologize, Jinyoung” you said stubbornly, crossing your arms on your chest with a little huff.

 - “Me neither” he replied, imitating your position.

 After a duel of looks that seemed to last forever, Jinyoung finally spoke out.

 - “Fine. Let’s settle on common ground: we both fucked up real bad, and we’re even now.”

 You wanted to voice out your disagreement and tell him that wasn’t fair, but you stopped yourself. It probably took him a lot to admit that he even fucked up. There was an effort from him. It wasn’t enough, but it was quite a progress, Also, you were tired of fighting. You just wanted him back in your life, somehow, anyhow.

 - “Okay. So are we good now?”

 - “We’re good” he nodded. “Now if you don’t mind, I want to sleep.”

 He stood up from the bed and proceeded in walking you out of his room. You sighed, highly doubting the sincerity of his words. He was dismissing you again, and you’d have done all of that for nothing. You followed him, confused and disappointed. Were you about to lose him for good this time? You really couldn’t tell anymore. You were ready to surrender and apologize right now if it meant he would stop being mad at you, but before you could speak, he stopped in his track and turned to you.

 - “It must’ve been stressful. Having all of that in your mind, enduring my vengeful behavior and then arguing and stuff.”

 You blinked, not seeing where he was trying to get.

 - “Yeah, it was... I guess. Why?”

 - “I don’t know” he shrugged. “I was thinking maybe we should go to the bar downstairs and have a drink before we sleep. So you can, you know, unwind.”

 You stared blankly at him for a second, puzzled. But then, something clicked in your brain and you smiled teasingly.

 - “Is this your own roundabout way of saying sorry? Is this a date?”

 - “Absolutely not, dear. You’re paying for your own drink” he said, walking back to put on his shoes.

  He had his back turned on you so you couldn’t see his face, but you could swear you saw his ears redden.

 - “Are you coming or not, before I tie these?” he asked, feigning impatience and gesturing towards his shoelaces.

 You shook your head. Jinyoung was literally hopeless. But oh well, that would only be another challenge for you. After making him beg, next step would be making him apologize. And with that, you followed him downstairs, reminding yourself to always refer to this night as your first date just to piss him off.

a/n: hello and thanks for reading the Not Sorry mini-series hehe 🖤 i hope you enjoyed the story, don’t hesitate to give me feedback, i appreciate it a lot! a special thanks to the person who requested this story, i enjoyed writing it so much. 🖤

[sopewriters]

Mr. Impatient

Pairing: Im Jaebum/ Reader

Genre: Sort of angsty, but not exactly; smut

Word Count: 2.7K +

Warning: A bit of blood play, dubious consent

“It’s that kid again.”

You lifted your gaze, warily eyeing your friend before shifting your line of sight in the direction she was frowning at, a twin expression forming on your face. This was easily the fourth or fifth time you had seen the boy, with the pale skin and tousled black hair that could belong to a model, and it was beginning to bother you. He transferred in the middle of the year sometime, and immediately became the talk of the school because of his looks. It was annoying, both you and your friend agreed.

“Yeah, I guess.”

The noticeable tension underlying the words betrayed your emotions, letting the girl beside you pick up on it.

“Let’s go then,” She said quickly, tugging you up by the arm, “We’ve got to get to class fast, or else he’ll kill us.”

The ‘he’, of course, referred to your Physics teacher who, despite his seemingly peaceful nature, could turn savage in the blink of an eye. It was best not to test it.

The two of you barely made it in time though, panting and totally out of breath by then. You got a subtle side-glare as you passed by, but no words, making you sigh in relief.

“Y/N, come see me after class.”

Well then.

 ‘After Class’ couldn’t come fast enough, and you bounced your leg anxiously under your desk as you glanced at the wall clock for the seventh time in five minutes. There was literally just a minute left, so why was time going by so slowly?

You nearly jumped up with joy when the bell finally rang, its sharp shrill resounding through your head, making you wince, before quickly skipping down the steps to level a stare at your professor.

“What did you need to speak to me about?” You questioned, heart pounding furiously, because please don’t tell me I’m in trouble.

“You’re not in trouble,” The man sighed, as though disappointed, as the last of the students left, “I have a favour to ask of you.”

“A favour?” You repeated stupidly, unable to believe you ears, “You need a favour from me?”

“Yes, yes, whatever,” The man waved a hand, “We have a new student in our Physics course and he needs quite a bit of help. I suppose your qualification is adequate, so you’ll be assisting him.”

“What?” You exclaimed incredulously, “Me?”

“Yes, you.” He sighed in extreme disapproval, “Your first session would be tomorrow after school in the library. Don’t forget.”

He went back to stacking books, entirely unperturbed by the fact that the floor was crumbling underneath you.

Well then.

  “Say what?!” Your friend practically screeched when you told her the news, making you wince from potential hearing loss, “No way! Tell him you can’t do it!”

“I don’t have a choice,” A dejected sigh sounded from your throat, “He hates me already. Besides, how weird could that kid be?”

“Apparently, he doesn’t talk to anyone,” She said dubiously, before frowning, “Except for those weird loud kids.”

“Aren’t they the ones who everyone finds ‘illegally hot’?” You eyed her, immediately catching onto who she was talking about, “You know, the supposed ‘heartthrobs’?”

“They’re weirdos now that they’re associating with him.” She decides, “How on earth is he friends with them already anyway?”

“Whatever,” You shrugged, rolling a pencil over your desk idly, “We’ll see what happens tomorrow, I guess.”

   “So….”

It was already awkward and you hated it. He was staring at you with a strange glint in his eye, unblinking. You anxiously bit your lip, before clearing your throat again.

“Uh, Im… Jaebum?” No response. “That…that is your name, right?”

Finally:

“JB.”

‘Wow, congratulations!’ A mental pat on the back, ‘We’ve upgraded to one-word answers now!’

“JB, huh?” You smiled nervously, a force of habit, “Um, so what have you covered so far?”

“…Nothing?”

“What, seriously?” Your mouth dropped open in shock, and you forgot all your inhibitions as your brain short-circuited at the thought that he didn’t know shit, “You…you haven’t done a single chapter yet?”

“No, that’s what I said.” Better, five words this time, but you hardly noticed as you stared down those dark eyes, “Seriously, did they give me a dumbass for a tutor?”

“Excuse you, who are you calling a dumbass!” The words left your mouth unbidden, making you wince, but you ploughed on since you were stupid like that, “I thought I’d be helping someone out, not being forced to listen fucking one-word answers!”

Then, it struck you, “And how on earth did you not learn anything?!”

“Gosh, you’re so loud.” He rolled his eyes at you, before checking his watch, a gleaming expensive-looking one, “Ugh, another half an hour.”

Wait seriously? You couldn’t believe this guy.

“You’re not leaving until I say so.” You growled menacingly, uncaring of how terrifying he looked to be, “And I do say so, so.”

Well, the end of your speech could’ve used a little work, but semantics. No, what was important was the fact that he stayed where he was, damn it why was he getting up?

“Well, too bad.” He tossed something on the table before sauntering away, “See you tomorrow, kitten.”

“Wh-what, kitten!” You spluttered to yourself, wide eyes trained at his retreating back, “What the actual—AGH!”

The librarian wasn’t too happy about the noise, so you ended up getting kicked out. Fun times.

 “He called you what?”

“I’m not kidding, it sounded like it came straight out of a porno.”

“No way.”

“…”

“Ugh, what a creep. Should I come along next time?”

“No.”

“What if…what he debauches you? What if he steals away your innocence when I can’t protect you, huh?”

“…”

 It was Day Two.

Your friend did not tag along, since she was luckily engrossed in watching a swim meet (“for the hot guys, Y/N-ah, for the hot guys.”) like a total creep. You were actually grateful for it, for once.

“Alright, let’s do this.” You said determinedly once he sat down, “I’m going to start off with Mechanics and you’re going to listen, right?”

He didn’t say anything, just shrugged casually. His black jacket was barely hanging onto his shoulder, revealing much more of his pale skin than you wanted to see.

You tore your eyes away from his unnatural pallor and focused on your book, beginning to explain what you thought of as the most boring topic in physics to date because honestly, why.

He was surprisingly diligent, which sharply contrasted his annoying fuckboy, pseudo-gangster image, writing down detailed notes in a flat black book. In fact, when you glanced over at it sometimes, it looked much more detailed than what you were saying.

It was…weird, to say in the least.

“Tomorrow again, after school.” You said finally, wrapping everything up, “Don’t be late.”

“Hm.”

And you were back to one-word answers.

  The rest of the days passed by similarly, with you tutoring him in the library, trying to hide your awe at his detailed note-taking, before telling him to meet you again the next day. He was actually being civil to you, even going so far as to crack a few jokes over time. It was strange, but fitting, when he did, and you really couldn’t complain.

He was doing well in class as well, which brought you some relief because your professor would fuck you up otherwise. It made you feel a little better about everything, and the fact that everything was going smoothly just gave you a sense of peace. Nothing could go wrong now.

  Until it did.

 “So, partner.” You smiled hugely at JB, where he was lounging in his chair, looking as pale and depressing as ever, “Got any ideas for our project?”

“No.” He said, blunt as always, “I’ll help you work on it, but any ideas need to be your own.”

Why did he sound exactly like a professor? Ugh.

You must have been dying on the inside for too long, because he rapped his knuckles sharply against the wooden desk, with a smirk beginning to creep up on his (not) ugly face.

“Start talking.”

“Okay, Mr. Impatient.” You smirked at your (totally not lame) pun, before flipping open your book to the page you needed.

“…that was terrible.”

“Please, shut up.”

 The two of you decided to meet at his house, much to your friend’s chagrin (“what if he does those unspeakable things and outrages your—mmph!”), though you calmly assured her that, yes, I’ll be fine, and that, no, he’s not going to fucking kill me calm down.

To be honest, you weren’t sure what you were expecting. Maybe a shanty house, with a dilapidated roof, and a lonely porch. Or a fucking huge ass mansion, with bodyguards milling about.

What you most certainly did not expect, though, was the sheer normality of the scene. Im Jaebum’s house looked perfectly normal, painted brightly and invitingly, complete with a neatly trimmed front lawn. There seemed to be a rose garden in the back as well, from what little you could make out.

“Why are you staring?” The guy in question spoke, raising an unamused eyebrow, before brushing his way past you, “Come inside.”

The inside was decorated sparsely, but still didn’t look too empty. Jaebum’s family seemed to have good tastes, you had to admit grudgingly. Well, either that, or a kickass interior designer.

“Aren’t your parents at home?” You asked curiously, as you padded upstairs behind him.

“No.” His answer was curt, to the point, “They’re out of town.”

“Ah, I see.” You smiled nervously as you took stock of his room, noting how dark everything was in there, contrary to the zesty coloring of the rest of the house.

“So,” You started, “Let’s do this?”

“Yeah,” He said, before pausing, contemplative, “Do you want something to drink?”

“Uh, I guess water’s cool.” You stuttered out, completely caught off guard; who would’ve thought this guy had a sense of politeness in him?

“Right, water.” He made that weird, pondering, face again, before he disappeared, door slamming shut behind him.

“Well, that was fast.” You muttered to yourself in surprise, before nearly shrieking and falling off the bed when the door opened again and Jaebum walked inside, glass of water in his hand.

You held out your hand in anticipation, ignoring the seed of shock sprouting in you, waiting, only to sputter in disbelief when he put it casually on the table.

“Hand it over.” You didn’t mean to sound whiny, but it came out like that, and Jaebum looked perturbed for a brief second, before his familiar nonchalant expression came back.

“Nope.” He decided, shrugging in the face of your pout, before taking a seat on the bed across you. You ignored the sudden rush of warmth to your cheeks (why the hell would that even happen, damn it) and shook your head, getting to your feet and walking over to your awaiting glass.

“Why are you so rude,” You muttered petulantly to yourself, before, “OW!”

“What happened?” Jaebum was by your side in an instant, taking a gentle grip on your wrist in what could be mistaken as worry, before he was drawn to the crimson trail dripping down your index finger. You nearly cursed yourself for your stupidity; of course, there was a nail sticking out from the desk and, of course, you didn’t notice.

“It’s nothing, just a cut.” You said quickly, tugging your wrist away, “It’ll stop soon.”

But your hand wasn’t coming free. Nor was Jaebum responding, eyes fixed firmly on the bleeding digit, mouth parted open.

“Y-yah,” You tugged harder, more nervously the longer he stared, “I-Im Jaebum, what’s wrong—”

A gasp sounded out from somewhere, and you dimly realized it was your own voice tinged with horrified awe, and your eyes focused with almost startling intensity, on the pillows of pink wrapped firmly around your finger, the startling heat.

“J-JB.” You stuttered out, fear pulling at you, “W-what—”

“You taste so good.” He said oddly, eyes flicking up to you, and that’s when your heart stopped, seeing his red-rimmed irises, his constricted pupils.

Your breath stuttered, and you wasted no time, pushing him away with a strong arm and tumbling off the bed before taking off. You remembered your friend’s concern, tears stinging your eyes when you felt a grip around your wrist. A shocked cry tore from your throat as you were slammed painfully against the wall, throat constricting with fear as you stared back into his inhuman eyes.

“I’m hungry,” He commented coldly, and if you thought he was normally cold, this was below zero, “So stay still.”

“Stay still? What the—”

The words got cut off when something pierced through the delicate skin of your neck and you stared, vision swimming, at the mop of black hair nestled comfortably in the juncture between your neck and shoulder. The slight graze of teeth against your neck made you aware of the fact that he was drinking your blood, that he was a vampire, but all that was lost as you felt your mind slip away.

And, it didn’t matter how much fear you had, or how much apprehension; none of that mattered in the face of the comfortable lucid experience and the heat building up, making you twist uncomfortably with a sheen of sweat lining your skin. Every inch of you was on fire, nerves fraying and eyes dilated as the man keeping you pinned detached himself from your neck; a strangled moan tore from your throat, though you didn’t know if that was in gratefulness or unwillingness.

You needed more.

“I’m getting to it,” The dark chuckle made your breath hitch, and you couldn’t resist as a leg slipped between your parted thighs, grinding lightly against your core, reveling in your pleased groan, “So impatient.”

“P-please—” You choked out, nearly sobbing with the need (to do what, you didn’t know), “Please.”

You didn’t struggle, instead trying to get closer, reduce the space between the two of you. You could practically feel yourself getting wet, juices staining the fabric of your shorts, and mewled when you felt his fingers brush against your underwear after slipping beneath the waistband.

“Wet for me already, aren’t you?” He mused, rubbing a slow circle into your throbbing clit, “Tch, what a slut.”

And normally, you would have been insulted by it, but nothing mattered anymore, you just needed him.

“D-Do it, please.” You pleaded, voice breathy, grinding down against his fingers, and were rewarded with them slipping inside you finally, making you jolt, pleasure thrumming through your veins.

You weren’t expecting him to kiss you, but he did just that, only accelerating his movements as he ravaged your mouth, laying on you a claim you didn’t realize, one you wouldn’t be able to refuse. The taste of coppery blood filled your mouth, your blood, but you didn’t care, gyrating your hips upward to get his fingers deeper inside you, head thrown back and mouth parted lewdly.

Your legs quivered helplessly as the pleasure began build almost painfully from inside you, making your head thump softly against the wall. A cry ripped from your throat as finally, fucking finally you found your climax, hands scrabbling to find purchase in the soft, velvety feel of his skin.

You hardly noticed when his fingers slipped out, eyes instinctively fluttering shut when he caught your mouth again, softer this time. A pleased noise hummed from his throat at your complacence, and you only further relaxed in his hold.

When he eventually pulled back, however, his eyes flickered, flitting over your form appraisingly, and the crimson red returned. You gasped when he slammed you harder against the wall than before, and couldn’t breathe when you stared into those eyes.

 “I was going to let you go,” Jaebum whispered huskily, fangs digging dangerously into your skin, “But I can’t wait for more.”

Might or might not have a second part.

Written By: Admin Midnight

picture link, all credits go to the owner: 

https://68.media.tumblr.com/8db7f50251b57a0c6a5ba030d4a7fa74/tumblr_inline_oj4zhxYeDc1uo8v37_500.gif