#'theres no way she could beat him in a fight' about people they have recieved no info on

[redrockbutch]

You can tell that reddit is still largely cishet men bc they talk about men and women as though men are all 8ft tall body builders and women are all 3ft tall and their bones are made of celery

[moltazia]

A court of silver flames plot rewrite

Plot doctor. SPOILERS!!!

ok so i really dislike the latest ACOTAR book, it really undercut the illyrians as cool warriors and the achievements of rhys, cas and azriel for reaching the mountain. Really 3 people whos trained for a year is alot better than people whos trained their whole life?? it also really ignored Nestas actuall skillset and seemed to try and make her feyre 2.0. in this feyre is also very much not pregnant. that whole plotline deserves its own book and since they said they wanted to wait i think it can happen 50 years into the future or something rather than the immidiate next book from the one saying they wanted to wait. also no attempted rape tacked on plot or 3 objects everyone just forgot about. if i was to do a rewrite of the plot beats and settings of the book it would go something like this:

we move it so nesta actually moves to the illyrian camp full time for her intervention. with how the human society is structured this fits her better than velaris with the more strict and defined gender roles, we can explore here how in a way she is quite alike to illyrians. cassian is frustrated that she is not on his side when it comes to training women. we see flashbacks of her life and how it was beaten into her by her parents and everyone around her that it was mens job to care for women and it was horrible and unsightly if a woman tried to do anything on her own or push to hard for something with physical force.

she helps with the womens chores but are also confronted with the ones who want more out of life and they ask her why she thinks why shouldnt they be allowed. not all women will suddenly be trained, just the ones who want to. she comes around. she makes friends with the female shop keeper, she really likes the idea of being in control of making and having her own money. flashback to the cottage, her frustration with her father for not fulfillinf the role of provider and leader he was "supposed to" and her not being able to bring herlsef to chop the wood because it will ruin her hands, hands she was told to take care of because it was a sign she was a lady. her admiration for feyre for bringing them food but that first instinct to shun her for not being feminine or adhering to her role is very strong. she doesnt know how to handle it.

life in camp settles into a routine a bit, she sees cassian caring for his people and being a gentle person, she finds this very admirable and thirts a bit. sexism being directed at her, now that shes settled in with the women well the other illyrians have started to regard her as "just another woman" she gets angry and it becomes a bigger spat. she gets some approving comment from the more outspoken women who wants to train. she asks cassian to show her some basic defense moves.

she sees a wing clipping when cassian is gone to inspect some other camt´p and she tries to intervene she cant do anything since shes too weak and illyrians are stone hard super warriors. she makes the bargain with Cassian this time its for protection if another spat happends and so through the bargain she could summon him.

the evil queen attacks the camp with autumn court soldiers. its a disaster and alot of people die. since it was made clear they were soley after nesta she gets blamed for the attack in the high emotions after when people find their loved ones dead. she cant stay in the camp any longer.

cassian and her leaves for the court of nightmares, meeting up with the gang and Eris to discuss whats happened.(before eris arrives it is tense between her and feyre, fyre tries to hug her after hearing what happened and nest cant stand to ahve someone be kind to her after feeling like shes to blame and shrugs her off) it is agreed since nesta is a mostly neutral person to the rest of the courts and the one most trained in court manners she will be the one to go with Eris back to the autumn court to investigate. cassian will come with her as her personal guard. as the queens sister it is not something off about that arrangement. to give a reason for her to visit the autumn court they decide to fake a romance between eris and nesta. same ballroom scene as in the book.

longer flashback of nestas life right before poverty, shes the ultimate mean girl and a social butterfly, switching masks to be different people to different artistocrats with ease. shes admired and she holds high society in her small lace gloved hand. they arrive in the autumn court. she gets a "low" faerie assigned to her as a handmaiden. she has a audience with Beron and his wife.

Eris is a much better mirror for nesta than cassian. he is the same as her in many regards, growing up in a strict role. missing a step in the social dance can mean death (symbolically for nesta growing up, real here). putting on an uncaring mask to not show how intensly you care is a big theme in this part. Eris and Nesta are great at playing "the game" toghether and cassian as her silent bodyguard grows to admire her slyness and how great an actress she is, manipulating the courtiers to giving information and making accurate conclusions from their clothes and manners ("we can pressure X person to do this, their clothes are a season old and they are doing their own hair because its messier in the back where they cant see it in the mirror, this means they cant afford a hand maid anymore. give them a bribe and they will do anythign" etc). she and eris starts growing a friendship of two people who see alot of themselves in eachther.

they are figuring out the evil queen, but some moves from the enemy doesnt make sense, theres a third player in this game they realise (death god lake dude). the trio have become comfortable with each other and are hanging out and putting together their intel and gossip. Nesta becomes friends with her handmaiden. this helps break down her elitist and class barriers in her head a bit. while feyre has her painting it is to messy for nesta when she tried it.  but shes always loved clothes (we can see a bit of it in the first book even), she starts putting her own touch on dresses throughout the book and starts designing her own even. we can see how many in the court she has won over to her, cassians and eris´s side by what courtiers copy details from her designs.

she makes her handmaiden some nice outfits. we can also learn what nesta likes about herself here, in the dresses she designs: what does she emphasize, what does she hide? while she probably has a whole range of outfits to make her look anything from innocent to evil queen what does she wear when shes just "nesta"?  Feyre once remarked she hated her eyes because they reminded her of her mother and nesta. does nesta feel the same way or does she like her eyes for just the same reason? combat training with cassian continues in secret. some fun wrestling or close combat fighting flirting. she reflects on the fact that while she "let loose" in velaris and slept around she would never sleep with him casually, she knows it would mean somethign and she wouldnt be able to brush it off if she did. he asks her to teach him something aswell or explain some etiquette thing. idk, poin is that they are learning from eachother and admire each others strenghts. she says to him she thinks hes very brave to never masks his feelings but notes it leaves him open to manipulation easily. he asks back if shes then thinks herself a coward for always masking herself. conversation started out nice but turns sour.

Autumn court outing, she and cassian makes up and she opens up to him about her and feyres realtionship. we can also maybe get some more background on why shes so protective of elain here, as someone whos described to be so beautiful and charming i dont buy its because someone was like once mean to her. elain would have been popular in her own right.

she and eris ride together and jokes and such, he makes some halfjoking remark about cassian maybe and she defends him. they talk about family pressures and parental figures who are very imposing and bossy while the other is passive (something they have in common) eris lets down his guard a bit and talks about how he doesnt want to be like that, he doesnt want his future partner to be trapped in the same situation either. she talks about how she never really thought about how married life would be like growing up, everythign was about getting married. the after wasnt something discussed. she thinks about if she would ever want a family, she probably assumed she would have children one day (it was expected) but the only thing she can imagine is a perfect child like she was. she starts being afraid of if she has children she would turn into her mother. she has a quick image of cassian as a dad with a smiling little girl in his arms.

throughout this whole thing nesta is writing letters to the night court, it is expected since shes the high ladys sister and since they are surely read they use it to throw suspicion in the wrong places to beron about what she sees and suspects. but as she writes and recieves back letters and she reflects and improves on who she is, her letters become more heartfelt. doing some work to improve their relationship a bit. in her dresses she starts sewing in hidden pockets. Cassian gifts her a dagger, saying he thinks she will be able to be marginally more dangerous to others than herself by now with it. she makes a special hidden pocket for it and always has it on her.

the trio finds out who in the autumn court is the death gods agent and kidnaps them. azriel comes by to get information through torture but the agent does not break. Nesta goes in and through playing a perfect balance between caring and arrogant she gets the agent to slip up and give them a clue about where they will strike next, what they are after. Azriel is impressed, notes she is a a great interrogator and would make a great spy for him. he also notes to cassian about how shes changed alot since he saw her last. more focused and balanced in herself. Eris notes how she reminds him of Amarantha from the first book before she betrayed everyone and cassian gets mad he would say something like that. back and forth but and eris notes how "a knife is a knife, its about how its wielded." and pointing out that just because a person was an enemy on the battlefield doesnt mean he couldnt admire a skilled warrior. and so likening her to amarantha was a compliment. cassian huffily agrees and sees their, to his mind, more boring socialite nights with a new eye. same revelation as in the original book when nesta read battlefield books and saw how like it was to a court but for cassian instead.

the clue from the death gods agent leads them to trying to go after the mcguffin under the guise of a romantic trip. think a bunch of weapons hidden in a picknic basket. Handmaiden comes along to make it look real. on the perilous trip they all work together and and finally gets it, on the way back to bring the macguffin to meet up with nighcourt gang so amren can study it, they get attacked by the queens cronies again. Eris has the mcguffin and the handmaiden on his horse and rides off, making the smart decision to first and foremost get it out of the enemies reach and try and lure them off cassian and nesta. it doesnt work. the evil queen is overcome by her hatred for nesta and order her soldier after her instead of the mcguffin. nestas had some training but cant hold off soldiers whos trained for centuries and gets taken. she sees cassian being overwhelmed but still trying to get to her. she invokes the bargain of favour they made to force him to abandon her. they share a long look before he is forced by the bargain to fulfill her wish.

Eris and Cassian meets up the NC gang and they are besides themselves. a rescue mission is put toghether. Feyre insists on coming "she came for me, trying to pass the wall". handmaiden stays with azriel and amren.

Nesta wakes up in The evil queens castle. we get some one on one talks with the villain. we get insight into her motivations and why she valued her youth so much. we get to see how Nesta used to also think the most valuable thing about herself was how well she could appeal to others and the power that gave in a society wich was designed to make her powerless. she now finds it a bit sad and reflects on how much she values her new friendships and how cassian would probably still like her even if she wasnt traditionally beautiful anymore. The Villain starts draining her blood bathory style to get her youth back. agents of the deathgod comes and makes her stop before Nesta dies. he has bigger plans for her. Evil Queen looses her shit at not getting to kill her.

we see eris, feyre, and cass making plans for how to get in and rescue Nesta. some heart to heart between feyre and Cas about his feelings for Nesta and how hes holding off on showing her them. He talks about how hes seen alot get thrown at her. he talks about how she havent gotten to choose alot in her life and so in a way he hates the bond because he himself realises that that is yet another thing she havent gottent to choose. feyre wonders if nesta thinks he isnt attracted to her. that she thinks cassian only said what he said in the heat of the moment on the battefield. Cassian is dumbstruck by how anyone could not be attracted to nesta.

Evil queen comes by to taunt nesta in her cell. they exchange barbs and she lies and says she killed "her warrior" to mess with her. Nesta doesnt believe her but still gets anxious. has a twinge of doubt anyones goign to rescue her. elaine has always been with her when things go bad and a part of her thinks they only got rescued because of her since everyone loves elaine and now when its just her will they still come?

shes to be transported somwhere by the evil deathgods cronies and the evil queen is accommpanying them. the rescue trio sees them leaving. their whole plan on infiltration flies out the window and they have to move quick. Feyre uses her shape shifting to look human and makes herself bait. running at the caravan of nestas captors when theyve left the city (a castle usually have a city around it) screaming theres fae attacking from there pointing to the right as eris and cass attack from the completely opposite side. in the chaos nesta gets loose and starts running for the trees evil queen blindly pursue her and tries to kill her. with her arms free she grabbs the hidden dagger from her dress and kills the queen in self defense. the rescue trio finds her and they all go back to Night Court.

the book concludes with her and cassian having a heart to heart about how he was so worried he would loose her again and she admitting how she certainly feels somethign for him but she wants to take it slow. (her being terrified of showing her true raw feelings have yet to be resolved. her admitting this much is a big step forward for her) and they have a super smoldery kiss.

end of book. sets up evil lake dude as big baddie, nesta gets to have her own skillset instead of being yet another warrior and next book can build on the change illyrian culture regarding women plot aswell. and makes the sex have some build up.

this whole thing was of course just my personal opinion, and an impulsive plot and theme re-write. rant over.

[loridrabbles]

Imprisoned | Dogma x Reader (Part 2)

 Morning broke, as indicated by the light just inside the cell which turned blue during the day. There was no way of knowing exactly what time it was until imates were let out for meals or a shower. (Y/n) sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes, noticing that the cell was empty and the barrier open. 

     This prison was different than others she's seen. It was made for people who should have lived honorable lives. Clones, admirals, politicians, Republic nobles, and other people of the sort. It was run differently, more efficiently. It was cleaned daily, cells had enclosed refreshers and padding on the beds, there were fewer guards than other prisons due to the nature of people held inside. Occasionally, however, some other scoundrel would wind up in here for a period of time if a more suitable prison was too full for another inmate, but those criminals never lasted more than a couple weeks. Imates were allowed to wander the prison, either in the mess hall where they could eat or hang out and talk with others or the yard where they could work out, go for a walk, or get some fresh air. 

     She'd never say she cared about him, but her first order of business was finding Dogma. Talking to others was uncomfortable. Some were hostile or just didn't give a shit, so she couldn't ask just anyone if they had seen him. Of course most of them would just give the smart ass answer of "a clone? Yeah they're everywhere. Every guard in here" then laugh with his friends.

     After intensely searching the mess and the yard and finding no sign of Dogma, (y/n) decided to return to the cell, in case she missed him when he headed back. As she navigated the halls, she heard grunting and sounds of punches being thrown echoing down the corridor. As nosy as she is, she had to check it out. 

     "Dogma!" She said, seeing two clone guards pinning him to the wall, one throwing punches and the other holding an electric stun rod. 

     "This doesn't concern you." The one holding the rod said.

     "Stop it what are you doing?" She ignored him. Dogma looked worse for wear. Bruises on his cheek and collar bone, blood dripping from his nose, a burn on his neck from the stun rod, and a sizable gash in his forehead.

     "Bring her back go the cell. I'll get back up and finish with this one." The other said, pausing between punches.

     "Stop it! Let me go!" (Y/n) screamed as the guard  took her into his arms, holding her tightly. She struggled to get away from him. He threw her to the ground and gave her a taste of electricity through her side before yanking her back to her feet by her arm and dragging her away. In no time, she found herself on the floor of her cell, still aching from the electric shock.

     Shortly after, Dogma was dragged to the cell, limp, held up by two guards on either side of him. They shoved him inside and he stumbled before landing on his knees. He stayed there as (y/n) watched from the bench. When the guards left, he got up with a sigh and slouched on the bench, turning his body to face away from her. She cautiously approached him. 

     "What happened?" She asked quietly.

     "Nothing." He said bluntly.

     "Nothing? Dogma, what happened?" 

     "I-" He sighed, ignoring the blood dripping from his nose. "I would have done the same thing. Regardless of right or wrong I would follow orders, follow the manual."

     "I- what? I don't understand." (Y/n) said.

     "The guards overheard me talking to some inmates about what happened. I was telling them about how Krell was a traitor to the republic. I guess they don't want that information getting around. Some sort of en elaborate coverup to hide any weaknesses from the separatists. Political propaganda is their newest Avenue to winning the war."

     "Oh." The two of you were silent for a minute.

     "Was I really like that?" He turned to face her. "Was I really that foolish. I'm exactly the type of clone Krell thought we all should be. Blind. Indoctrinated. Mindless." He said, pathetically. She didn't exactly know how to answer, but she had to say something.

     "I mean... You followed orders and protocol to a t, but it's not because you were built to be like that. It's just your personality. It makes you the opposite of what Krell thinks you are. You obey because you think it's your duty and honorable and you think it's right. Its something you choose."

     "I would always choose the wrong thing. I finally did was was right, the others told me it was the right thing to do, but I ended up here." He said. (Y/n) didn't know how to answer, so she stood and went to the refresher to grab some towels, one wet with water. 

     "Here." She handed him one to clean the blood from his nose and used the wet towel to blot the gash on his head. He flinched and pulled away.

     "Don't do that!" He said, sucking air through his teeth.

     "Stop. Let me clean it." She said holding his jaw with her other hand. Painfully, she patted away the drying blood around the wound. 

     "It doesn't look horrible, but there's a lot of blood. Hopefully it will scab up by tomorrow." She said giving him a dry towel, prompting him to hold it against the still bleeding laceration. 

     "Thanks." He said dryly. 

     "It's only around noon. Did you eat?"

     "Yeah."

     "Why don't you take a cold shower to help with those bruises."

     "Its not the bruises that hurt very bad. It's this damm burn on my neck. Its killing me." He said, tilting his neck so she could better see the mark.

     "Well, here's a cool cloth. I'll see if I can snag some ice water from the cafeteria." 

     She cleaned up the bloody rags they had been working with before. She cracked the faucet and rinsed her hands, rubbing her fingertips along the creases of her nails, freeing up the blood that had dried there. When it was gone, she fixed her hair after her squabble with the guard who dragged her back to the cell. By the time she left the refresher, the timer at the door had ticked down, opening the cell up again. She left to get herself something to eat, and hopefully a cup of ice water. Dogma watched her go, cracking a small smile as she dissapeared

    She made her way to the cafeteria and spotted a familiar face. Well, the face of a clone, but someone she knew.

     "Slick." She said, approaching him. He looked at her, a little puzzled, wondering what pm earth she could have done to be in the same position he was.

     "(Y/n). What are you doing here?"

     "Uhg. It's s a long story." She said. "But, now I'm beginning to understand why you took up that offer from Ventress."

     "Oh?" He asked cocking his eyebrow. "Walk with me." He said, walking away from her. She caught up to him and they walked side by side. "Where are you heading."

     "The cafeteria." She answered.

     "Then we'll take the long way. So, what happened?"

     "Well, we were fighting for the planet of Umbara when General Skywalker was ordered back to Coruscant by the chancellor. General Krell took his place."

     "Uhg. I've heard of him. Bad numbers."

      "Yeah well they got even worse. You should have heard the way he talked about clones and saw how he treated you guys. It was horrible. I didn't know in this day and age that someone could be so prejudice." She said, frustrated. "He tried to have Fives and Jesse executed for following orders given to them by Rex that he didn't approve of. Insteadje wanted a full forward assault that would've cost hundreds of lives."

     "Jeez."

     "That's not even the worst of it. He was also in charge of the 212th. He told both battalions that the enemy was stealing armor and disguising themselves as the other battalion and ordered them to fire on eachother. It was all a lie. They never disguised themselves."

     "He made them kill eachother?" He asked angrily.

     "Yeah. Rex arrested him and was going to execute him. Before he could, Dogma took Fives' pistol and did it himself. During his trial, I defended him, so that's why I'm here."

     "Oh Dogma's here too. Where is he?"

     "The cell. Guards beat the shit out of him for telling others what I just told you. I guess the Republic is covering up any weakness within it since the new tactic to winning the war is going political. The two of us are trying to tell many as we can so the truth gets back to a senator with a head on their shoulders."

     "Hmm." He hummed as they approached the cafeteria. "I'll keep it on the down low, but I could help spread the word too."

     "That'd help a lot. Thanks."

     "Now, get away from me before the guards see us."

     Some time later she returned, a paper cup filled with ice in hand. She got a clean cloth and folded it up, then filled it with ice to fashion a makeshift cold compress.

     "Here. Try that." She said handing it to her cellmate. 

     "Thanks." He took it and pressed it against his neck, breathing a sigh of relief as the itchy, burning pain dissipated. 

     "Hey, so I was thinking."

     "Oh no." He interrupted.

     "What?" She asked laughing a little.

     "Oh I just remember every time you used to say that, you would come up with a bad plan. Granted, most of them were successful, but bad plans nonetheless."

     "Hey! Ok...well this might be a bad plan, but if word got around that guards were beating inmates for telling the truth about this situation, how do you think it would be recieved? A lot of people in here are only in for a short period of time."

     "What do you mean?

    "The guards here are clones, right? They can't all disagree with the truth. It has to make them angry that you're in here."

     "And?"

     "And, when word gets around that they're being ordered to beat one of their own..."

     "They'd be enraged." Dogma said, finally understanding where she was going.

     "Exactly."

     "But where would that get us?'

     "I don't know. Maybe they'd rally to free you? I mean you have the opportunity for parole."

     "Do you think we should really do this?"

     "Uh yeah." (Y/n) answered excitedly.

     "It's bad plan." He said, matching her energy."

     "If it's anything like my other bad plans theres a 90% chance it'll work." They shared a laugh. When there laughed died down, (y/n) looked down, playing with the hem of her pinafore again. She looked up and met Dogma's gaze. They locked eyes for a minute and she swore she saw him smile. But not a normal smile, like a longing smile. 

     "Umm. Im... I'm gonna go grab a shower." She said awkwardly, continuing to fidget as she stood up. "I'll be back around lights out."

     "Ok." He said softly, a tone of voice she didn't know he had.

     The water poured down her back and shoulders as (y/n) closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against the wall of the shower. His longing gaze and smile confused her to no extent. It's all she could think about. She hoped he was just feeling that way because of how she took care of his injuries. Once they're healed, it'll be over with. She hoped.

[returnofdedsec]

I played Borderlands 3

Finally played borderlands 3. Beat the campaign as FL4K in less than a week. In a few different ways, it both delighted me and disappointed me. Spoilers galore, read at your own risk. Also this is all my own opinion, what would/is/could be better/changed is all based on my own likes, dislikes, and general feelings about the game.

1.  the villains - the Calypso twins are my type of antagonists. People who think they're hot shit, who think they're untouchable, who's pride and vanity are as big as a star. They use their charm and their talent to get what they want, and when that doesn't work they turn to violence and kill everyone who gets in their way. But that's ALL they are. They're vain, and self - absorbed, and have no loyalty to each other, which COULD be an interesting plotpoint, if Borderlands ever played on it.

Troy and Tyreen are twins, born conjoined, and Troy is referenced as always being sick in his childhood. Tyreen is obviously the dominant twin, and while the relationship between two siblings is unique, the way their siblingship was explored was miniscule and narrow. It was obvious Troy had some sort of resentment towards Tyreen, because he needed her Siren powers to live (Whether men can become corrupted and weak under the power of a Siren, or if Troy simply was a piece of Tyreen that needed to be joined to her to survive is still under debate in my eyes,) but his resentment towards her is hinted at maybe. Once. Twice, probably, but that was really only shown after he absorbs Maya.

They hint at Troy maybe, MAYBE, betraying Tyreen, or at least causing their ultimate downfall because of his newfound Siren powers. Never happens. Why? Who knows.

They feel more like business partners than siblings, their relationship so watery. If Tyreen is so powerful, and Troy so miniscule in her eyes, it makes no sense for her to keep him around. Troy needs Tyreen, Tyreen doesn’t need Troy. What keeps him around? A bond between twins? It doesn’t make much sense.

If I were Gearbox, I would’ve really ramped up a sibling rivalry. Have Troy go just off the deep end with his new powers, butting heads with Tyreen full throttle, and having that rivalry dynamic utterly destroy them as they become Gods and turn the universe into their personal battleground. OR I would’ve made them so close, they really only have each other to rely on. I wanted to see Troy and Tyreen be ride or die, like a lot of siblings were. When Troy died, I was hoping for SOME real emotion from Tyreen, but found none. There was no venom, no real regret or sorrow, and even with Tyreen being a sociopath who steps on everyone who gets in her way, she didn’t even show a moment of triumph as she leeched his power away and opened the Great Vault.

I was hoping to see some venom from Tyreen, a real sociopath on the same caliber as Handsome Jack, or an unhinged and violent Troy, who dotes on his twin sister and knows his place as her weaker half. Their performances, while really fun and entertaining, only showed the evil, annoying Calypso twins. We see a bit of Troy’s assholeish-ness when he’s holding Elpis, but there was nothing really else to their performances.

TLDR; Calypso twins, while fun antagonists, left a lot lacking.

2. Sirens - There were a lot of things I didn’t expect when it came to the Sirens in BL3, and what I didn’t expect the most was Tannis becoming one. So it leaves me to two conclusions. One, when Sirens die, their powers are transferred to another person, basically just transferring that power to another woman upon death, which means theres a very slim ability pool for Sirens. Or, two, Tannis somehow leeched the power from Angel’s body to herself. Either way, I think it constrains the powers of Sirens, and keeps it in such a small funnel, when Sirens could exist anywhere within the galaxy. To have a character who was, before, just human, and turn her into a Siren, is such a weird choice. I fully believe Sirens can willingly give away their gift to someone of their choosing (Maya and Ava,) but having a character like TANNIS become a Siren is…..ridiculous. It felt like they had a wheel of female characters, and spun it and when the dial hit Tannis they went “Alright, that’s fine.”

I love Tannis. Even her weird, pseudo-sexual self from the Commander Lilith DLC, I love her. But having Tannis as another Siren, especially when she is like a full-fledged Siren with already established abilities from such an iconic character like Angel, is so….ODD. Tannis worked better as just a weird scientist, and having her as a Siren dilutes what was a unique character. And then there was the issue of Tannis having Angel’s abilities, and not an ability unique to her. It felt like they didn’t know what powers to give Tannis, so they just spun a wheel and shoehorned in Angel’s power.

If I were Gearbox, I would’ve played more on an Angel AI. In the Commander Lilith DLC, in the prototype Angel AI Core, Tannis asks you to download the information on Angel, and you see a glimpse of Angel’s eyes on the download console that flickers into view. This leads a logical conclusion of two things, in my opinion. One, that Tannis downloaded an ACTUAL Angel AI constructed from ECHO recordings, and revealed that at Carnivora. Or, two, Tannis built her own Siren technology in the form of a weapon or personal exoskeleton. It was odd that Tannis somehow either recieved Angel’s powers after her death through the universe, or they somehow transferred to her as she downloaded and recieved the data from Angel (because Angel’s whole deal was her being able to hack into and control machinery and electronics, so Tannis recieving the powers that way isn’t so far-fetched.)

TLDR; Odd choices with the Sirens all around

3. Gameplay - As always, Borderlands 3 was as fun and frenzied as I expected. I played FL4K, and did a Mr. Chew run using only the perks in that skill tree. I don’t know if it was the build I was using, or what, but Borderlands 3 felt much more chaotic and fast-paced than any of the previous BLands games, and I gave most of the Vault Hunters throughout every game a full/partial run. I found myself on the edge of my seat, and swerving with FL4K as I ran them through an area and sent an irradiated Mr. Chew out and using Torgue shotguns and sliding arounnd. It was a lot of fun, and I’m definitely gonna do other runs where I use the Meat Thief (Jabber) and Baroness (Spiderant) builds, as well as trying out every other Vault Hunter. The loot was great, and as always with a Borderlands game, I never felt like I was grinding out to beat a boss or farm for better loot. I barely did any sidequests my first run, and I never felt under - powered as I faced bosses and enemies.

It was also a welcome sight to see things like: Small enemies spawning during boss battles so you can Second Wind yourself, friendly NPCs fighting by your side so during certain parts you have a partner to revive and help you, and (I don’t know if anyone else is a collectible hunter like myself,) plenty of collectibles that immerse you in the lore of the game. The customization options were plenty fun, as well as the meaty voice acting from the current BL3 VH’s, which (in my opinion) made already charming characters more charming.

The characters, both old and new, were fantastic. For the most part, nothing has changed so drastically that there’s a giant divide between characters across games (Besides a few exceptions.) We don’t see all of the previous Vault Hunters, but the ones we do see are crafted lovingly and I loved seeing them (despites all the bullshit that happens.) For other NPCS, vital or not, I loved their personalities, loved their designs, and even the smallest NPCs dug themselves a little crevice in my heart :) Also loved the amount of LBGT characters in the game (Zane is pansexual, Lorelei is trans, FL4K is nonbinary, Hammerlock and Wainwright Jakobs are gay and in a relationship, as well as the return of Moxxi and Ellie, who i believe are both bisexual.)

TLDR; Borderlands 3 is fun and fast - paced, give it a shot and you will like it :)

All and all, this is a true - to - the - bones Borderlands game. Nothing has changed much from the other games, it’s the long - awaited third game to a beloved storyline! However, some of the story falls short, and certain parts I can’t help but be disappointed by (Not to mention during my run I ran into a number of bugs, such as NPCs getting stuck on doorways, or enemies clipping into the environment, or my bullets/melee hits not connecting despite me being RIGHT up in their business.) However, with all of the hype that followed BL3, I think it was near impossible to expect it to exceed the popularity that BL2 and TPS collected and the fans it amassed.

TLDR; BL3 is a bit flawed, a bit weird in places, but out of everything, it is crazy fun that will keep you coming back to it, again and again.

[bluebeetle]

How do you hope the castlevania show handles the other games?? it seems like they arent gonna be following curse of darkness well ...

Yeah! It does seem like theyre gonna take their own direction… i suspect Dracula might still be revived by the end of it but it definitely seems like theyre trying to be smart and not have Dracula be the main villain/end villain every season which makes sense, as to viewers it can seem tiring. 

Im hoping even if they scrap most of CoD’s story,, we still get a few story beats like 

Trevor and Hector meeting–perhaps even fighting–but teaming up in the end (And thus sypha and probs alucard too!!). pls i NEED them to met my son

isaac and trevor fiiiight. hopefully with the same amount of gay.

JULIA! Personally, im hoping they scrap Rosalee altogether bc she basically existed to die and be man pain so im hoping Julia will sorta be a mix of Rosalee and Julia–i.e. still a witch and isaac’s sister, but also being hector’s saviour in a way. 

speaking of, even if she isnt isaacs sister, JULIA BETTER NOT BE FUCKING WHITE!!!!!!!!!!!! like thats such a cop out if they do, to make her brother black but not her?? she better be black and awesome and heroic and save hector’s ass from carmilla, im just saying. also her and sypha NEED to bond.

i hope we get more backstory on everyone as well

ALSO DEATH!! even if its as Zead, id love for Death to show up. Maybe even be the reason for Dracula’s later cycle of ressurection. seriously, where is he? where is Dracula’s BFF and Best Bro Ever??????

as for the other games… I suspect they might ignore a few of em, but the main ones i’d like to see are, roughly in order:

Okay first of all, I kinda DONT want a Lament of Innocence game. I actually dont rly care for it, i think a lot of the story ideas are really dumb, Leon is lame…. etc. However he is already established in the show, so if they DO touch on his game i want either a: there to be a shit ton of focus on Joachim bc hes the best character and also less Wife Death and better focus on Mathias

or b: it to have all of those things and also be a B plot told in flashbacks and not the whole season, particularly in:

Simon’s Games! Simon has NO supporting cast, its just him and Drac really, so having the B plot saves them a lot of time making up a ton of things wholesale tbh… that said, id lvoe to see a Simon based on Kojima’s art, with a personality that isnt too much like Trevor or Richter’s… Id also love for them to do Simon’s Quest too, because while it isnt a well liked game, it would be the PERFECT drama. 

Like okay, I imagine it like this: We have this man, whose family is still not well liked by the people of Wallachia and who still have a bad wrap of being associated with evil and dark magic… hes  been raised basically his whole life to fight monsters and especially Dracula.

and he eventually does it and earns respect from the people who once hated him. Hes not sure how to handle this, since now his main purpose for living is over, but he tries his best… only for the back wound he recieved from dracula to cause him pain, almost like its not healing, and suddenly people are weary of him again as it becomes clear over time that the wound is cursed, that hes dying–or perhaps, worse, becoming some sort of creature of the night (maybe hes turning into a zombie, falling apart, or showing traits of vampires or werewolves or who knows).

One way or another he finds out he has to revive Dracula and kill him again to save himself fromt he curse. But that goes against everything he wants, to risk bringing Dracula back into the world–but is other option is to die painfully and risk becoming a creature of the night. All while trying to keep the unsteady trust he’s made with the people of Wallachia… basically, its very good drama that is a good break from having a Looming Big Bad!!

plus, i can imagine the final fight between them could be very interesting–both are weak, Simon from dying of the curse and Dracula from just being revived, so the fight isnt just about brute strength, especially as the longer it goes on, the weaker Simon gets but the strong Dracula gets as he readjusts to his new form. 

Juste’s on the other hand would be a more straight forward jaunt through the castle with monsters, with the twist being it’s his friend possessed by Dracula and all. Id LOOOVE for there to be focus on Maxim, Lydie, and Juste’s trio as well as talk about Juste being the most magic-based Belmont and what that means for them, as well as their much cozier place in the society that once rejected their family, and especially for what that means for White Haired, Magic Juste.

 Basically all I need from this part is good character writing for the three of them, but esp Maxim and Juste… Lydie wont be too hard bc she has like no personality in the games lol… give her one please. 

After that, theres of course Rondo of Blood and SotN. For the first one, I figure they can probably be pretty straight forward: Richters gotta fight Dracula, rescue some people, he meets a nice girl named Maria who helps him, etc… most of it will come fron the strength of Maria and Richters writing but theres bound to be some really cool action scenes with Richter and his skills and powers, but maria too! 

However, Id LOOOOVE for there to be more focus on Richter during his possession at some point, and his struggles with that!!! Also, Cameo from Juste his dad/grandpa pleaaase. 

As for Alucard and Maria… I hope they age up Maria a bit bc while Alucard is forever like, 18, itll nudge any romance that may happen between them outta an area of “Is This Weird?”. Anyways from there you get the usual Tepes Family Drama from Alucard having to kill his dad AGAIN and the Succubus as his mom oooo that good drama…

but I hope we get really good Maria characterization and stuff from her, like!! Please. Im also wanting her to not be white bc we NEED heroic characters of colour pls…..

I really hope they cover Order of Ecclesia bc Shanoa is great. I dont have much to say there tbh…. Idk if theyll do Bloodlines or Portrait of Ruin but there also a good way to break up the formula. Id also die if they made Sonia canon again….

Finally, i’d say the Sorrow series are the best ones to end the show on… I mean, on top of being the latest in the timeline–which means they can also do some neat stuff with modern or future tech–it also creates the best way to wrap up the series. Like, its a great way to say good bye to everyone, but especially to wrap up the Alucard and Dracula plot via Genya and Soma. 

I dont have too much to say here, other than I thin they could do some really good stuff by building up on whats already established in the show esp with Alucard and his Dad and then contrasting it with how they write Soma. 

Plus, Soma’s powers could make for some REALLY REALLY awesome fight scenes!!

[kawaiifunhologram-blog]

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"Very Cheap Car Insurance?

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BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolution.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Where can I find a comparative listing for auto insurance rates?

Affordable Student Health Insurance if I can't be on my parent's plan?

My parents are Japanese citizens in living in Japan and the insurance I currently am in with them obviously won't cover me in the U.S. I am going to be a college freshman and wonder if anyone knows any affordable student health insurance plans/companies. The plan provided at my school is a bit pricey and needs me to pay it all at once in the beginning which I can't do. Any affordable and numerous-payment-planned insurances?

How can I get my car insurance cheaper?

Hi am 31 and got 8 years no clams I drive a corsa vxr and am finding it hard to get it cheap

Best car insurance companies...?

I am 18 and need to acquire insurance ... what are the best deals around?' I live in California ... Thanks!

First car insurance help.?

Hi, I just bought my first car today. It was a Ford Ka 1997 1.3L. I am at college and have only 210 income per month. I don't know which would be the best type of insurance for me. I need to be insured for at the latest 24th April 09. Should I do monthly or annually. I did an annual insurance quote over the internet and the cheapest I got was with Endsleigh for 1500. What would be the best method of payment for me? Thanks very much for any help.""

Why should teenagers have to pay so much on insurance for a BRZ or FRS?

What just because it looks like a sports car it is?? Since 2007 teenagers have been disapointed that they can't get a subaru WRX or STI because of the turbo charger and now that they've made a two door without turbo it's STILL off limits for teens?? It's FOUR cyclinders. Give us a break. All you old farts drove muscle cars when you were our age.

""If i crashed my motorcycle, would my dad get penalized on his insurance?""

Quite recently I bought a motorcycle (Kawasaki 650r) and in order to save money on my motorcycle insurance, I insured my dad as the primary driver on it (had his license accident free for 40 years). Im still on the policy and everything, but if i were to crash and total my bike, god forbid, would my dad get penalized on his insurance?""

Why is Auto Insurance in Quebec cheaper? And how do I go abouts changing my insurance to Quebec?

I've been told insurance in Quebec is much cheaper. I know a few friends that live there can I change my license address to Quebec then seek insurance over there? Im getting sick of paying 400+ in Ottawa.

95 Jeep Grand Cherokee insurance Cost?

New driver, just got my licence at 18 years old.""

How does the car insurance differ between this vehicles?

I'm about to be 18 and am in the market for a used car. I currently drive an '05 Chevy Colorado and am paying maybe a little less than $80 per month. I'm looking at the BMW 3 series ('06-'08), Acura TL ('07-'08), Honda Accord Coupe ('08-'10), and the Acura TSX ('08-'09). Just wondering how much this would bump my insurance rate up and which would be the most practical as far as insurance goes. I have no wrecks or tickets on my record.""

Where can I find affordable dental insurance for my father?

He is 50+, I live in Michigan,help please?? I tried looking, but no progress. I want him to get something affordable so he can have better and healthier teeth. Thank you, Jenn""

How important is car insurance ?

My dad works for an insurance company so he thinks I need insurance but I can't afford it. Should I wait until I have enough money for insurance to buy a car?

CAR INSURANCE FOR A 16 YEAR OLD?

would it be more expensive for car insurance for a brand new car or a used car.

Received ticket for failure to report accident if found guilty will this make my insurance pay out void?

Was in one vehicle accident car written off insurance paid Still have court for failure to report accident need to know if found guilty will I have to pay the insurance company back

Very Cheap Car Insurance?

Hello, I need the cheapest insurance.I am from NY, please help.

Insurance: Average yearly mileage exceeded?

When I brought my car insurance (after being without a car for many years), one of the questions was average yearly mileage , I input 12,000 thinking that that figure was ...show more""

Whats the cheapest motorcycle insurance for me?

Im 18 i live in upstate New York. its my first street bike. I ride motocross and i have a 450f (if that makes any differance) im looking to get a crotch rocket (gsxr 1000) I heard progressive is the cheapest. How much?

""Auto Financing Insurance, does it exist?

Is there such a thing as auto financing insurance. i know when you apply for a credit card they ask you if you want insurance in case you lose your job or accident or whatever and they would make the payments for you. But do any companies out there exist that do this kind of thing for auto financing. Im going to be buying a car within a week and wanted to know Thanks

Whats cheap cars to insure for a new driver?

Hi there im currently undertaking my lessons and instructor said I should pass before march time and just wondering what cars are cheap to ensure for new drivers and how much roughly are they a month and is there any way I can knock it down to make a bit cheaper? can you get finance cars for new drivers with insurance and tax free for 3 years?

Which Insurance is better ?

Hi Guys , I'm a beginner in IT industry. let me know which insurance or Tax exemption Payments are better .. LIC, TATA AIG or Kotak insurance or anything else ..""

If you know about car insurance (10 points will be awarded )?

Hey, my older brother has a Honda HR-V 1.6 VTEC engine which is UK insurance group 9 and tax bracket F, I am looking at a Suzuki Swift Sport 1.6 engine, insurance group 9 and tax bracket E... my insurance is with my dads business who say i can have up to a 1.6, I learnt to drive in my brothers car but the insurance company are looking into whether or not i can have a Suzuki Swift Sport, it has no turbocharger, so what is the big deal 10 Points for best answer""

California life and health insurance exam?!?

I took it once but only got 60% and it was super difficult with only studying the pre licensing course. Can anyone give me some other materials or advice for getting a passing score. Please and thank you. And please no bulls**t answers-___-

Best car insurance company for me 10 points!!!!!!?

what is the cheapest+best auto insurance for me?!!!?!!?!!?!? we are a family of 4 and we all drive. we have a toyota 4x4, colorado, 1985 nissan truck, mustang v6. my youngest son has had 1 accident i'm 46 my wife is 46 and my sons are 18,19 i cant find a good car insurance they are all expensive!!!!!!!!!!""

Can my car insurance company drop me for having not at fault accidents?

I had Go Auto insurance on my 2 cars. Well over the courseof about 1-1 1/2 years (a year to a year and a half). I had about 3 wrecks. All not my fault. The other drivers were 100% at fault. After the third wreck, which was not to long ago. My insurance company (Go Auto) sent me a letter saying they weren't gonna let me renew my insurance with them because i was considered poor risk . Can they do this or should i contact insurance commissioner. No rude comments.""

Proof of insurance before transferring title and registering car?

After buying a used car from a private party, how do i purchase insurance if the title has not been transferred yet? I'm planning on switching to Geico. But, before i can purhase their policy, the title has to be under my name. For the title to be under my name, i need to transfer it to me; however, i need proof of insurance for this. HELP please. I need some answers.""

My own insurance?

In High school I was on my parents insurance and then I moved out with my boyfriend and got put on his parents insurance, but Im pretty sure his mom is lying to us about how much the insurance costs. We payed a varied amount (75-200) every 2 weeks for a couple months and then that same varied about after that per month. I feel bad about not trusting her but I want to have my own insurance. Mainly because I want to be self sufficient and pay my own everything! How do I go about getting insurance for me and my boyfriend?""

Rough cost of insurance group 17 cars?

Hi all, I'm looking at a Lotus Elise for my next car. Its insurance group 17 and I'm 25 with nearly two years no claims. Anyone know roughly what the insurance would be? Thanks xx""

Auto Insurance?

i need to renew my auto insurance next month i drive a Infiniti G35 and a Subaru wrx (not STI) can anyone tell me if they have ever purchased insurance for any of these vehicles and where was the cheapest i need full cov. on both. Or just anywhere its cheap, i live in central california (bakersfield) THANKS""

Where can I find info on LOW COST Medical Insurance In Central NY? (Student Artist Musician Business Owner)?

My wife and I are moving soon from PHX, AZ to the greater Syracuse area. I am moving my multimedia business / record label (websites, print design, videography, DVD production and studio recording) and I need information on which companies can provide my family reasonable cost heath insurance. Right now my wife works fulltime so we use her benefits, but we will be starting a family and would like to keep her at home for a few years. In PHX, health insurance for non-group individuals runs about $300 a month - from what I can see in CNY it can cost closer to $1000! Can some one help me with this? Am I looking at the wrong companies or is it just that mush more expensive? Are any loop holes? In some states Students, Artist, Musicians & Small Business Owners can get highly discounted rates - is this true in CNY? Can anyone help? Thanks in advance!""

Do I have to pay for insurance on a moving van rental?

I want to rent a moving van from Uhaul. They won't let me rent the van unless I pay for their insurance coverage. Is that legal?

Car insurance offence codes?

hi, i was trying to get a car insurnace quote online today when i realised that under the conviction section there are no codes that correspond to my licence. i am from Northern Ireland and have points currently on my driving licence, when i tried to enter my conviction codes for my insurance quote they were all different. the codes on the drop down list all started with 2 letters e.g. IN60, SP40 but the offence code printed on my licence all start with 50 e.g. 5010042 is this because they are Northern Ireland codes? how do i get my codes onto insurance quote?""

Driving from california to texas?do i really need insurance and a license?

im moving from california to rowlette,texas in two weeks but the problem is im going to drive out there its going to be me and my bf the thing is the car is under my name & i have the tags & papers but i don't have insurance & my license.Is this a big deal can i still drive out there as long as i drive carefully well im not driving its my bf his better at driving & he has his permit but im 18 & they say he can drive with a person 18 and older.what can i do i already called the insurance company & the lady said its not worth getting insurance if its only for a few weeks cuz when i get to texas i have to get new insurance.What can i do what do you guys recommened i do...i think that i can get out there without the legal stuff like insurance & a license..my sister drove all the way to arizona with no license & she didnt get caught cuz she drove carefully...""

Can you not buy a car unless you have insurance?

I'm looking at cars now and It seems like I can't but a car or do a title transfer unless I have insurance. So do I have to buy insurance before I even buy a car? My parents don't have insurance themselves...

""In NJ, Can you get a driver's lincense but not have car insurance or a car/drive? TEN POINTSS?""

I'm 18 years old, female. I've always wanted my driver's license. I have my permit that now expired. My parents won't let me get it because they don't want me to get into an accident and because they said insurance is sooo HIGH! Is it possible to pass my driver license test and not be on an insurance policy and not drive any car? Not drive at all, just own the license. I have a job and would get my own policy, but it would just be even more expensive!""

What is a reasonable cost estimate of business insurance for a cottage rental?

Looking to estimate small business insurance for a single unit cottage rental we are purchasing.

Steps to getting your life insurance license in CA?

I have no previous experience with Life Insurance and am considering getting my life insurance license. What are the steps involved, how long does it take, how much does it cost, and how difficult is the test? Anyone help?""

Will insurance total out my car?

When insurance companies figure out what your car is worth..do they go by the private sale value or retail? I got a bunch of hail damage and I see the claims dept. tomorrow..just wondering if they might total it out. Damage is just over $6,000...car is worth $6,500 - $8,700 depending on which way they look at it.""

Getting insurance for another persons car?

I'll be getting a loan of my brother-in-laws car while he's away serving with the army for 6 months and I'm trying to find the most cost effective way(s) of me getting insured for it for that duration. At the moment I have my own car with insurance, for myself and my wife (insurance is in my name), and I effectively want to use a second car. Ideally I wouldn't want my brother-in-law to have to pay insurance while he's away.""

Anyone knowing the best/cheapest auto insurance for young drivers?

Hello! I am a young driver (19) who is looking to buy a new 2007 ford mustang (the deep red color). I really want this car but it looks like there is no way that I will be able to afford the auto insurance for this thing. Anyone know the best company for me to speak with? Any advice or tips will help. Thanks!

Car insurance price for a Civic?

I am a 18 year old boy and I want to purchase a Honda Civic EX 4-door w/ a manual transmission. I am looking at a 2000-2005 or a 2006-2009 model. Could anybody give me an estimate of how much insurance is monthly? Thanks

Very Cheap Car Insurance?

Hello, I need the cheapest insurance.I am from NY, please help.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/im-20-yr-old-female-much-would-cost-insure-14-2007-astra-kareen"

[anatomiedunfantome]

Balance

What is balance? is it being able to juggle a job, 2 children with 2 different schedules, bills, car maintenance, a love life and self care all at once? because if so i may be on the heavier side of the scale. I looked at my mothers facebook today. I saw blurry selfies, an old picture of what used to be my family, meaning my children and their stepbrother, some more blurry photos of my sisters and lots and lots of Jesus propaganda. From this fb profile you would never guess what this woman was capable of. From this face book profile you see a god fearing woman who is grateful for her children, for her grand children and for life itself. 

From this facebook profile i see a facade. i see a sick woman who has found the most appropriate platform to rebuild herself and present herself as she wishes to be seen.  Pretty, warm, great color contrast and the right details will make any living room the family tv sitcom we see on a television. My home, my clothes, my hair had just that. Very well taken care of on the outside, but on the inside, cold, scared, lifeless.  At 8 years old i found myself waiting. Always waiting. Would she come out of her room today? would she feed me today? if i knocked would i receive a response? if i broke in through the sliding door would i find her again naked with one of my abusers? or would a glass cup come hurdling towards my skull. id rather wait then to find out. My days would be spent flipping back and forth through television stations, disney channel, cartoon network, nickelodeon, mtv if i was feeling edgy. If i was hungry id rummage through the fridge and see what i could find but mostly survived off snack packs, untoasted bread with butter, and hardly boiled eggs. I loved playing with my barbie dolls, creating dramatic worlds like id seen on tv. id always have one doll be the victim, and thered always be a boy to understand, to save her if you will, from her own thoughts, from her abuse. Sometimes id get really bored and start looking through drawers, cabinets, closets, bags anything really. id read everything i could, books, labels, cd covers. My mom hadnt caught me at this point and id discovered some old vhs tapes with the title scratched off. It was maurice sendaks’ most loved stories in cartoon form sung by carole king. this vhs, and his stories to this day are extremely soothing to me. Among one of my explorations i found a Linkin Park CD and a cd player. Definitley was going through my brothers things. I ran to my room and i remember being afraid to play it. i was afraid that it would be the scariest thing i ever heard, demons or people screaming and dying. i cant tell you why i felt that way but thats what i felt. when i finally mustered up the courage to listen i couldnt believe it. i couldnt believe that someone else in this entire world had felt what i felt. alone, scared, sad, angry. He had so much to say and every word correlated with how i felt about my mother. i would listen to “hybrid theory” over and over on repeat, mouthing the words in my room, imagining i was screaming them at her face.  I would find myself crying out for my father, for my brother, for God. Wondering what i had done to deserve what i had been dealt. I wondered why, if i had been so well behaved, she still hated me. i wondered why and how my brother could leave me alone with her. Or where my father was. and if he had loved me so much why hadnt he taken me with him. why did everyone leave me alone with this person who so obviously couldnt stand me. Every now and then shed come out of her room and id smell food and id hear Brenton Wood singing, and i would crawl into the hall to peak out and see if it was real. If she was there. Her response was never the same. Sometimes warm, sometimes shed pretend she was on a cooking show like Ina Garten or Paula deen, and begin to tell me how to make what she was making.  Other times, shed spot me and id receive threats.” That room better be clean or im gonna kick your ass!” “Hija de su chingada madre, you came in here and ate all the fucking bread and the butter” “how have you been walking around this house and not cleaned anything up you son of a bitch”. SOmetimes shed be on cleaning binges and i was forced to help, and recieve beatings with the remote (her favorite) a sandal or whatever was near for something as small as scuffed shoes or trash under my bed. No matter the reaction i received i always remained quiet Shed still have her parties and id still have uninvited guests in my room. Or her guests would sit and bounce me on their lap even tho i was much too old for it, nobody ever stopped them. nobody ever said it was inappropriate. My mother had a boyfriend, George. George had come and gone from life quite a bit and he was my favorite of all her boyfriends. I loved him. he spoke mainly spanish and he would listen to me ramble and watch me play. hed buy me taco bell and take me for walks. At one point i expressed to my mother that i loved him and i wanted him to be my father. Her expression was startled.  As a grown woman i could tell you that George wasnt smart. he was very air headed and a drunk.He was raised in cartel country mexico. the last time i spoke to him i was 16 and he revealed to me that my mother had accused him of being in my bed with me. My life was shattered that night. i had never turned around. i would never look to see who it was. it became so normal to me that sometimes id sleep through and think they were dreams. George had abused me too. My mom had married this man and she became pregnant with my sister. At some point during this time my brother was released and i remember them speaking in hushed tones about him staying at our house due to confrontations between him and his father. When my brother came back i was so desperate to be loved and accepted by him. id shown him the cd i found, id shown him the clothes i was wearing that were his, and i could feel the distance. I honestly had wanted things to go back to “normal”, abuse included. Soon enough the abuse did come back tho not as strong, more lap bouncing, once even in front of my mother for a substantial period of time. My mother was pregnant and emotional and maybe she just wanted her family together as a whole, no matter how torn up we were inside. We had many adventures with my brother. He was a funny guy, probably still is. very silly and has a beautiful smile.Hed say the most clever things and have us holding our sides from laughing so hard. Somewhere along this pregnancy my mother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. i remember the adults discussing it and my brother attempting to explain it to me tho i cant recall what he said other than shes sick. Soon after there was an argument and my brother was screaming and my mother was screaming and things were being thrown and george was just watching. I remember my brother screaming “ I FUCKING HATE YOU” and walking out of the house.  My mom would take me on endless searches for my brother, calling his friends, his ex girlfriends, driving to each friends home and making me get off the car and beg my abuser to come back and see that she was a good person. she would prompt me on exactly what to say before exiting the car just like she had done in mexico each time i visited my father. but thats another story for another post.  When we would find my brother he would come out, with tears in his eyes and his teeth clenched. he would tell me he loved me and ask my mother what she wanted as calmly as possible. she would cry and babble not really knowing what to say i assume. and he would leave he would never come back with us.  I would go home to more hatred more of her screaming at me and at george. her drinking became violent, shed push and instigate physical confrontations “hit me puto” she would say “fucking hit me”. i was always used as a tool for her “this is what you want fucker, for my baby to see this! he raped me!” she would scream “he raped me!” and george would always try to calm her down. ive only seen him give in to her violence once or twice, hiting her and then crying. She probably had his simple mind so emotionally fucked just like she had mine and my brothers. These fights happened often and continued to happen often through out my childhood. I hated seeing her like that and i never knew who to defend. What is balance? i know lows, i know the lowest of lows. and i know highs. Highs are much more brief, but in between, what is that?