#'symptoms must last at least 6 months' brother my symptoms have lasted for at least 14 YEARS

[theygender]

So apparently the symptoms for chronic fatigue include loss of memory, reduced concentration, and fainting/lightheadedness when sitting/standing up?? Why didn't anyone tell me about this 😭

[playboysaleen]

Love Malady.

Part 2.

Part 1.

Summary: Daughter of the notorious gang of thieves. One day your brothers group kidnap a nobel woman. Feeling guilt you gave her warm clothes, tended to her injuries, and helped her escape. instantly the world falls under a deadly pandemic and is killing/infecting people left to right and you are the only one who is immune. All because you saved a girl years ago coming to find out... it was the goddess of death(Famine).

Warnings- cursing i think, violence.

___________

Present.

February 12th, 2021.

The night Buck got sick changed everyone's life. I waited hours for my phone to ring giving me the ‘okay homeboys fine.’ but Jaime walked into my room with tear-stained cheeks telling me Buck didn't make it.

Then a couple days later after Bucks death one of the guys found Adam dead with the same symptoms. Then Pedro, then Jackson, then Shelli, and it killed off almost all of my fathers gang. The disease spread like a wildfire. From our home town to the city, the state then just did this hopscotch move and expanded around the whole world.

The first year the doctors tried to keep it a secret but it flared so fast that society called it the ‘Sinister Ash’. There was no cure when the officials realized it was airborne, literally nothing could cure anyone. Some were lucky with similarities of a stomach virus and a mild headache, and there were the less fortunate. Headaches, stomach bugs, fever and cancer like symptoms. The strong can work through it but it was permanent. The rest who had it worst? Died off just like Buck and Adam.

“Why are you not eating?” My fathers voice rang me out of my thoughts with his thick Venezuela accent, I peeked at my father shrugging my shoulders. Grumbling, he focused his attention to Jaime as they went over the next move for their ‘purloins’. I grabbed my plate walking towards the kitchen running the hot water over the greatest plate, a thud sounded in the dining room which caused my brother's name to boom out my fathers mouth. I ran towards the other side of the table to grasp my brother's shaking body, cursing under my breath. I dialed 911.

“The ambulance is on the way, go Pa.” I instructed my father watching his face fall, he sighed placing his hand on my shoulder.

“Our time has come, I love you, my child.” he whispered, placing a soft kiss on my forehead making his way out the back. I cooed into Jaime’s hair as I held him in my arms praying to the man above if he could not let this disease invade my brother's body. ________________________________________ “Did you at least get the girls number?” Jaime stated in disbelief when he woke up and saw the EMT worker reeling him into the ER. I chuckled, shaking my head playfully, pushing his shoulder.

“She was pretty..” I mumbled causing Jaime to widen his eyes pushing me back-

“I TOLD YOU!” he laughed out loud when the doctor walked in with a clipboard. A man around his 50’s with a look that masked his face of light, but we all knew he was trying to survive like the rest of us.

“Good afternoon, I am Doctor Nives.” The man spoke ever so gently but his beard gave me Cap vibes. I nodded my head looking at Jaime slipping my hand into his.

“So there’s news, I do not know how you both will take it but-“ he grabs the x rays placing them onto the screen that took up half of the wall next to Jaime. I watched as the deeper detailed body of my brother's chest caged clouds of red, black, and green.

“As you can see you have stage 2 of the Ashen, the red that covers this area here-” Dr. Nives circled the red that surrounded the upper left of my brother's chest.

 “Covers your heart, but after running the test I see your red cells are fighting the virus and it knocks more time for you.” A lump formed in my throat as the last 4 words flew out his mouth.

“Wait, what do you mean more time?” His eyes soften sending me a sympathetic look, Jaime gasped softly looking down at his hands.

“Well from the lab work it shows that you had 3 months, but at how good your cells are handling the virus you have 6 months to a year.” He finished taking his gloves off and applying hand sanitizer,

“Since you ma’am we’re around him can we run some lab work for your safety?” He asked looking between Jaime and I. I looked at my brother to see him nodding my way, turning to the man I nodded as he clasp his hands together. 

“Great. We can move you right next door so you can stay close to your brother.” Reassuring the both of us, I placed a kiss against his forehead following the doctor out. I took a seat onto the bed leaning against the back of the wall holding out my arm. 

For the last 4 years I’ve noticed a big change in my appearance that it actually scares me on the inside. First year, I lost a tremendous amount of weight, the extra weight turned into bulk in the places I always wished for.. huh..

 During the first year, the acne on my face disappeared in thin air. One minute I’m trying to clean the pores with three different facial cleansers, I go to bed, then the next I wake up and my face is so clear. I was changing for the better, yet the world was changing for the worst. That first year we lost almost 2 million lives, including a lot of the people around me. 

The second year is what sparked my curiosity of my body. One night, I was cooking dinner for Jaime and I, having a heavy debate with who is better at shooting the knife slid through my palm causing Jaime to spring off the island placing his hand against the deep gash trying his best to stop the bleeding. We knew we couldn’t head to the hospital for the sake of our fathers identity and the groups, so Jaime wrapped my hand the best he could and called it a night. I didn’t like his Tostadas anyways. Next day, I woke up to change my bandage. I opened the wrap to see no gash from the night before. Eyebrows furrowing together I question my own body for the first time in my life.. I can’t be immortal, that’s only in books. Then I noticed it. From small paper cuts to bruises- my wounds healed faster than any other person. From taking days for a wound to close, a couple minutes and it’s gone. Clean. Like it was never there to begin with. 

Last year, an incident had happened; Traumatizing to say. Snuck out with an old friend of mine, talking around the den says she’s been trying to make a move on me but me being me I waved them off knowing she’s not the type. Met up with her, got a couple drinks in headed back to her place, got a couple kisses in. The kissing escalated until this small beautiful voice that I heard years back echoed in my ears, jumping back, I stopped what we had and went home. Next day I received the news that she passed away AND GET THIS- JUST like Buck. Since then, her voice echoes in my ear. It’s been quiet the last month, I miss it though. 

A pinch brought me out of my thoughts when the nurse smiled my way explaining what the blood was for and Dr.Nives will be in shortly to give me the news. I snooped around heading to my brothers room when my name was said from the doctors a couple rooms down from me. 

“That can’t be possible, it’s only been 5 minutes and she’s literally clean from head to toe.” A nurse quarreled, a couple more murmurs were heard but Dr.Nives voice caught my attention-

“Let’s do Code A.” A gasp was heard from within their circle with multiple disagreements, confusion flashed my face until a ‘yes sir’ and footsteps were heard coming my way. I sprinted towards my room taking a seat sending Jaime a small text message. 

“Heya Y/n, do you mind if I give you some antibiotics just in case you are diagnosed with the Ashen?” The nurse requested which I nodded extending my arm watching her place the small plate next to me. I squinted my eyes examining the shot that contained a weird dark substance. 

“Why is the stuff black? Isn’t medicine a clear color for safety purposes?” I blurted out, watching the nurse grab the shot striking the needle into my vein. I grunted feeling the warm liquid enter my body, I huffed lightly leaning my head against the wall. Then, it hit me. 

“Wait, what if my test comes back negative? Why do I need antibiotics?” I glanced at the nurse feeling my heartbeat raise as the room began to shrink.

“What’s… what’s happening to me?.” I whispered watching the nurse draw more blood from the previous spot. I felt like I needed to throw up, once the nurse left I wobbled towards my brothers room next door, 

“Man bro we need to get some take out when we leave this place- Y/n? Are you okay?” Jaime rambled out then his face washed with concern as I stumbled onto his bed. 

“I don’t feel so good Brother..” I breathed out looking up to lock eyes with his own. He gasped, wrapping his arms around me, rocking me back and forth. 

“Y/n…” he whispered, watching my contacts with my brown eyes slowly drain into this grey/golden color. 

“What the hell happened?” He asked turning towards the door making sure no one came in.

“They gave me the Sinister Ash.. I can feel it in my chest. We have to go.” I grunted using all my strength to push myself off my brother's bed wobbling towards the door. A cough formed in my throat falling out my mouth, my hand flew to my mouth watching the black and red substance pool into my hands. 

“Y/N?” Jaime shouted running to my side, I grabbed him for support walking out the room. I felt the fire in my chest pass when a small burp lashed out my lips. Sighing deeply I stood up straight facing Jaime. 

“I… I feel better.” I mumbled opening the doors to the emergency waiting room. My body collided with another grabbing them instantly- I gasped at how quick my reflexes were, even Jaime’s eyes widened. 

“Why thank you, I’m so sorry I- Y/m? Why are you not in your room?” Doctor Nives questioned looking between the both of us, I felt warm liquid on the side of my mouth. Quickly wiping it, a fake smile formed on my face slowly stepping back towards the exit just a couple feet from us. 

“Sorry Doctor, but I think it’s time my brother and I head home- our father must be worried sick.” I bluffed, gripping my brother's wrist, giving him the signal.

 “Y/n. We know who you both are.”

_______________

Thank you for the wait<3

taglist- @xxxtwilightaxelxxx​

[re-diesirae]

6. Claire

She was running through the chaotic streets of Raccoon City. The hordes of undead tailing right behind her with their horrid growls and that putrid smell of the dead. She had run out of ammo, which meant that if she got cornered, she was in trouble.

She had gotten separated from Leon, and she did not even know if the young man was still alive at all.

Claire took a turn and found herself cornered; it was a dead-end, and she had no bullets. The horrid cannibal monsters were moving slowly to her.

It was it; this was her end.

Claire woke up, startled, and she felt the sun rays coming through the holes in the ceiling, hit her on her face. Her breathing was agitated, and she took some seconds to recover.

She hated those nightmares. They were a recurrent thing, but it had been a while since she dreamt of Raccoon. The city where everything began vanished. With the years, the memories from the place had gotten buried under fresher incidents. Her nightmares were often about nonsense or about places she had visited more recently.

Claire looked around her, remembering where she was. It was morning already, and Leon did not wake her for the shift.

She was slightly annoyed, but at the same time, she was grateful. She knew Leon had done it to let her recover.

She stretched and grabbed her head. The pain was still there, but it was significantly lesser, and her vision was back to normal, too, which meant the effects of the hit were starting to pass.

"Hey, good morning, sleeping beauty," Leon greeted her, and she rolled her eyes.

Claire had forgotten how much of a charmer Leon was when it came to dealing with ladies. Their interactions were on the friendly side, and he had long stopped using his flirty tones on her, so it was the first time in years that she heard him use that tone with her.

"Good morning, cheater," she answered, "I thought we agreed you would wake me up for a guard shift."

Leon snorted.

"I tried, but you just fell asleep again."

"I...I did?" Claire answered in shock.

"Yeah, after saying you wanted ten more minutes," Leon smirked, "Besides, you looked to be enjoying yourself. When was the last time you had a good night of sleep?"

When was it? Claire tried to remember when was the last time she had slept more than three hours without interruptions, but she couldn't remember. Between nightmares and work, she had skipped a lot of sleeping hours in the last few months. Naturally, Claire would not tell him about that.

"What is that supposed to mean?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I am just asking," he replied, shaking his head. "You just looked like you had not slept well in a while."

"Well, I hardly think that sleeping in a dilapidated cottage surrounded by mutant monsters can be considered a good sleep."

Leon snorted.

"Anywhere is a good place when you are exhausted," he reasoned.

Claire was not going to argue that. She had to admit that even though it had not been the best sleeping in her existence, she had rested nicely that night. She was not in her best shape, but at least she would not be as useless now.

"I am not discussing my sleep patterns with you, Leon," Claire sighed. "We should head out and try to find a way out of here."

"Yeah, but first, let me see your head."

Claire did not argue, and she allowed the agent to check her. After some minutes, he stood and helped Claire on her feet. The auburn headed accepted his hand and pushed herself up. She tested her stability and was rejoiced to see that she wasn't dizzy anymore. However, her head still hurt, and if she made the wrong move, she was sure she would stumble.

"How is your head?" Leon asked.

"Stingy, but alright. I am ready to go."

"Are you sure? I think we can afford some minutes if you need them."

"No, I'm ok. Let's move."

"Ok. I tried to contact Hunnigan several times yesterday. My signal still has interference, but I think I managed to connect. She might be able to track our location, and I am sure your dear brother will be here soon."

"Yeah, with the big guns, I supposed."

"I just hope he won't use them against me."

"Nah, not even Chris is that unreasonable, and if it makes you feel better, I can talk on your behalf," Claire chuckled, "he usually listens to me."

"I bet he does."

"Alright, then. We must try to stay in one piece until then," Claire reasoned, "We can try to gather supplies as we go, but I don't think our captors have left ammo lying around for us."

"One never knows," Leon said, checking his gun, "So, just like old times?"

"Yeah, I guess you don't get the pleasure of going solo this time, superagent," Claire smirked, picking her rifle and walking out.

"I have no complaints about my partner," she heard Leon mutter behind her.

The place looked a lot different in daylight. Compared to other places she had been, Claire was pleased to see a change of scenery. The sight of trees, grasslands, and the fresh air was a nice change from the acrid air of tunnels and underground facilities.

"Oh, that's right," Claire said, "The locals here..."

"Yeah, they are infected by an improved strain of Plagas."

"An improved strain of Plagas?" Claire said.

"Hum, yeah. I had the pleasure of dealing with it some years ago, during a mission in the East Slav Republic. Aim at their heads, but be careful since some of them can mutate after being destroyed."

"I guess that makes sense. I thought the symptoms looked familiar, but I couldn't quite connect them to anything I knew," Claire nodded, "I guess you've been busy, Leon."

"I could say the same about you."

Claire chuckled. They all had been busy. Chris and the BSAA were always fighting in the frontlines when an attack came, while Leon and the DSO worked diligently tracking terrorists, as well. Claire wondered if she would ever get to spend a day with her family and friends like any other person.

"What can I say? Work is a demanding boyfriend," Claire shrugged.

"Well, you sure have a singular taste for your boyfriends. Have you not thought of getting a real one for a change?"

Claire snorted at the suggestion. Getting a real boyfriend was something she had long given up. Her work demands rarely gave her free time, and what was the point of having a relationship when she had no time to dedicate to it?

"I am fine. I never had a real one when I was young, and the Racoon City mess just put an end to any attempts. It doesn't matter."

"You didn't have a boyfriend before this began? Somehow I find that hard to believe."

"Really? Why?"

"When I met you, you looked like the kind of girl that any guy would chase around."

"Oh, well. I suppose there were guys interested, but if Chris didn't chase them away, it was my personality who spooked them."

"Chris scared off your potential guys?"

"Yeah, something like that, but it wasn't all his fault. I played my part, scaring some, too. "

"I can't see how you would do that."

Claire snorted.

"Please, Leon. Honestly, I am surprised you were not scared the first time we met. What guy feels comfortable with a tomboyish girl who handles guns and fights as I did?"

"I think that was what I liked most from you..." Leon answered sincerely. "You were not of those girls who waited for someone to save her."

"Well, I guess you have a weird taste, as well," Claire laughed, "Besides, my luck with men sucks. Either they get killed, or they turn out to be traitors..."

Claire sighed. Why was she telling him this? Leon had no interest in that, but surprisingly, she found that telling him these things was easy.

"What do you mean with that?" Leon asked curiously, "Any ex-boyfriend that I haven't heard of?"

Claire stopped in her tracks and turned to look at him skeptically.

"Leon, you can't be talking seriously."

"Why not? I'm trying to catch up. It's been ages since we had a casual conversation," Leon said, "When was the last time we talked about something that was not related to a mission?"

He was right. Even their friendly calls ended up being about their missions and their jobs. They rarely talked about anything outside of that. They had crossed paths in one or two of the BSAA meetings, but they had never stopped to chat about things outside their work.

"So, ex-boyfriends?"

"None," Claire sighed, "I met a couple of nice guys once, but they got killed in an outbreak. Then years later, I met this colleague at TerraSave. I thought he was a decent guy, but it turned out he was selling us as guinea pigs to Alex Wesker in exchange for a sample of Ouroboros. As I said, my luck with men sucks."

Leon didn't answer. He continued to listen to her as she spoke.

"Looking at the bright side, Chris gets to brag about being the only man in my life."

"That's a lie," Leon said, "You have other men in your life."

"I suppose I might, but I have morals, Leon. I can't call someone taken as my man," Claire chuckled, "What about charmer?"

"What about me? I guess I am the same as you. My job is a demanding girlfriend."

"Really? There I thought you would have made some progress with Ada."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but Ada and I have a different kind of relationship."

"Yeah, right. That's what you call it."

Claire chuckled in amusement at Leon's look. She knew those two had something between them. That was the main reason why Claire had given up the idea of getting together with Leon in the first place. Even if she had a crush on him back then, Leon's thoughts were always about Ada, and she could not compete against that.

"Oh, Leon..." Claire said, looking ahead.

Leon looked as well and gave her a silent nod. The two jumped into some bushes and stayed low as a group of infected locals walked past them. To their relief, none of the infected noticed them, and so far, there had been no signs from the mutant creatures that Claire had met the night before.

"I think the wisest move now is to avoid conflict unless it is necessary," Leon said.

"I am with you with that. You'll want to save your bullets for the big ones," Claire nodded, looking at him.

"Big ones?" Leon asked with a frown.

"Yeah, nasty things. They took me by surprise yesterday, and I blew up the town in panic. The explosion was a little bigger than I thought, but well, I was desperate, and I wasn't thinking clearly."

"I didn't meet any last night," Leon said, "but I trust your word, any idea of what it is?"

"Nope. I've never seen anything like it. I dare say it might be a new strain. I guess we get the privilege to test them."

"What an honor," Leon said sarcastically. "Alright, so plan. We need to figure out the terrain, so I think we should try to find a good vantage point to look at what we are facing. There's a rocky cliff in that direction, do you see it?"

"Yup, I do."

"I hope you are in the mood for hiking."

"Leon, if you know me the way you say you do, you'll know I'll never be in the mood for hiking."

Leon smirked.

"But I'll do what I've got to do."

"That's the spirit," he said, "Don't worry. I can carry you if you get tired."

"Excuse you. I might dislike hikes, but I don't need anyone to carry me."

"Of course. It's nice to see that good old Claire is still there."

"The old Claire has always been here," she said, winking at him. "Just improved..."

And broken, too.

Claire followed Leon as he led her through the forest. She was not usually the kind to follow the lead quietly, but she did not feel the energy to act on her own now. There was some comfort in Leon's company that gave her a sense of reassurance. It was a similar feeling to what she felt when Chris was nearby.

The thought was naive and perhaps a little silly, but something about having them close always made Claire feel like nothing could ever harm her. Realistically speaking, it was nonsense, but psychologically, it was something different.

"Strange..."

Leon's whisper pulled Claire out of her thoughts. The woman looked at the agent, who was standing protectively by her side.

"I expected more hostiles, but we've barely encountered some Plagas infected. Don't you find it odd?"

Claire pondered the question. He had a point. Things were unusually calm compared to the hell she had faced the night before. It was almost as if daylight had brought them some peace.

"Well, it is a very different scenario from last night," Claire agreed, "Perhaps they are more active at night."

It was a wild guess, but it was the only excuse she could come up with to explain it.

"That's not a common trait when it comes to Plagas, but you might be right," Leon reasoned, "Well, then maybe we should restrict our moves to daytime. It might slow us down, but between speed and safety, I vouch for the latter. Especially if there's limited ammo in the equation."

Claire nodded. Moving in the daylight had its other benefits too. They had better visibility so they could avoid hostiles with more ease, and if the lack of the nasty monsters was a hint, then maybe they were indeed safer during the day.

"Yeah, that might be the best," she sighed.

"Don't worry. We'll make it out of this one."

"Yeah, I know," she nodded, "Leon..."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

That caught Leon by surprise. The blonde turned to look at her quizzically, and she smiled at him weakly.

"What for?"

"Eh, well. I don't know. For being here now, I mean," Claire said shyly, "I suppose it was hard to reach me, and you didn't have to, yet...you are here."

Leon looked at her and smiled, shaking her head.

"Don't be silly," he said, "You don't need to thank me for that. If it hadn't been me, it would have been your brother, but neither of us would let them take you away so easily."

Claire smiled. He was right. Chris would never stand doing nothing while she was getting kidnapped.

"Yeah, you might be right."

Leon put his hand on her shoulder, and she found the touch comforting.

"I wanted to ask you," he said as they began to walk again, "Do you have any idea of what they would want to kidnap you?"

That was a good question. Claire wasn't sure herself.

"Your guess is as good as mine," she sighed. "I receive a lot of hate mail, so maybe it is someone who holds a grudge against me. I don't know. It could be someone targeting Chris, too. Both of us have rubbed some people the wrong way for a while."

Leon didn't reply. He walked lost in his thoughts, and for a moment, Claire wondered about what he was thinking.

That's none of your business, Claire.

Claire shook her head and kept on walking behind him, pushing the thoughts away.

NOTE: if you guys want to come and chat about the fic, or just about CLEON in general. Feel free to drop by the discord and say hi! http://discord.gg/wr48UmENbx

[order-of-river-phoenix]

Im dying for some nixon! Could you do one about nix and the reader post war married, she finds out shes pregnant after discussing symptoms with her friend and has to find out how to tell him? Nix as a dad is just adorable 😍

Breaking The News; Lewis Nixon

Fandom: HBO War; Band of Brothers

A/N: this took me waaay too long but I hope you still like it 🥺 thank you so much for the request. School has been stressing me out and work has been wearing me out, but I squeezed in some writing. Hopefully w winter break coming I’ll feel up to writing more.

Notice: female reader

Taglist: @liebegott @stressedinadress @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant @teenmagazines @hbohmygodx @meteora-fc @punkgeekchic @vintagelavenderskies @hoosiers-hoe @mavysnavy @inglourious-imagines @warrior-healer @alienoresimagines @hannahbear1 @easy-company-tradition @wexhappyxfew Please let me know if you’d like to be added/removed/you’ve changed your user (or feel free to do so yourself via the link in my description)

__________

"Oh, honey," your friend giggled. "So is this your way of telling me you're expecting?"

"Expecting what? I'm genuinely concerned for my health!"

She shook her head, patting your hand. "Don't tell me you didn't suspect a pregnancy. You have all the classic symptoms: morning sickness, missing... you know what. I can't believe you hadn't pieced it together yourself by now."

You sat back in your chair, taking in the information. You were stunned to say the least. "What'll I tell Lewis?"

"Don’t worry about it. He'll be happy."

"Oh, are you sure? What if he's not ready?" Your anxiety was making your stomach turn.

"He can get over it," she rolled her eyes. "Clearly, one of you had to have realized it was a possibility at this point. You've been married how long now?"

"Nearly 6 months."

"Exactly." She sipped her lemonade like that had explained it all.

“Exactly what?”

She gave you a pointed look. “Do I need to explain how babies are made?”

__________

You paced around the house, words filling your head but none of them feeling right. You had to tell your husband in a good way. It couldn’t be super sudden, but you also didn’t want to beat around the bush. Before you knew it, the sun had set, meaning Lewis would be home soon.

“I’m home!” he announced, knowing fully that you could hear the door open and close from just about anywhere in the small house.

“In the kitchen!” you called back, never looking away from the recipe you were following. It was a more complex version of some comfort food Lewis had mentioned before. You hoped good food might make your announcement a little easier.

Upon finding you, a contagious smile broke out across his face, and he hugged you from behind, as to not keep you from what you were doing. “Hi. I missed you.”

His breath warmed your shoulder, and you smiled to yourself at his tenderness. “I missed you too. How was work?”

“Work was work,” he groaned. “Boring could describe it, but that’s still too generous.”

You shook your head, amused by his dramatic comment. “That bad, huh?”

He shrugged before letting go of you and leaning against the counter. “I guess not, but anything without you is insufferable.”

“Maybe I should work at the plant then.”

“You were supposed to suggest I quit,” he sighed. “Forcing me to respond with why I can’t and why that would be bad for our futures and for our children.”

You tried not to react too much to his last words. “Children?”

“Well, yeah. I assume we might have a couple.” He looked at you earnestly. “If you wanted to. Do you not want kids?”

“I think I do,” you quickly cleared up. “I just wasn’t sure where you stood.”

“I stand wherever you are.”

“How absolutely-“

“Romantic?”

“Cheesy is the word I was going to use.”

Dinner came and went—successfully, you might add, and you were still trying to find a way to tell him your news. You were kicking yourself for not saying anything when the topic was brought up. Now, you were both getting ready for bed.

As you brushed your teeth, he came in behind you to do the same. The comfortable routine normally set you at ease, but with the unintentional secret you were carrying, everything felt off. You ran through what to say again and again as you spit out the toothpaste and rinsed off the toothbrush.

You sat up in the bed, and he seemed to notice you didn’t look exactly ready to sleep.

“Something the matter?” He crawled in next to you. “Normally you’re halfway to dreamland by the time I get to bed.”

“Just thinking.” You slid down until your head was on your pillow.

He frowned a little and cocked an eyebrow. “Care to share?”

“Maybe.”

“Ah, okay then,” he yawned. Maybe you’ll feel like sharing tomorrow.” He pulled the covers up to his shoulders and closed his eyes. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”

“Goodnight.” Just before he had completely drifted off, you kissed his temple and whispered a quiet confession. “I’m pregnant.”

He mumbled incoherently and stilled.

When you were sure he was asleep, you rested peacefully knowing you had told him. Whether he had heard you or not was an issue for the morning.

__________

You woke up slowly, but you quickly noticed that you weren’t alone in the bed. Fighting the urge to shut them again, your eyes opened to see Lewis sitting up. “What-“ you yawned as you raised yourself up. “What are you doing up?” You blearily checked the clock on your nightstand. “It’s not even 1 in the morning.”

“I had a strange dream, Y/N.” He seemed to be reminding himself what it was before he continued. “In my dream, I heard you say you were pregnant, but that’s it. That’s all I remember.”

This woke you up a little more, and you sat up next to him. “I am pregnant.”

“What?”

“Lewis, we’re going to have a baby.”

He stared at you, mouth agape for a small eternity before pulling you into him. “Oh my God. You’re pregnant? When d’you tell me? Did you tell me? Oh well, you must have.”

“I may have whispered it to you as you fell asleep,” you admitted. “But I couldn’t figure out a good way to tell you.”

“I can’t believe my brain retained that.”

You eased yourself away from him, seeing the huge grin he had. “I can’t believe it woke you up this early. Can we squeeze in a couple more hours b-“

“We need to prepare. What are naming him? Or her? Shit, what if we have a girl? I don’t know anything about raising girls.”

“Good thing I know a couple.”

“What kind of things do we need to buy? A crib, toys, diapers, clothes. Oh, and the doctor’s appointments! You’re going to need a good doctor. I mean, I think I remember the name of the one we went to for Michael.”

“Lew, honey? Hey,” you put your hand on his cheek to catch his attention. “Hey, there. Calm down. We can figure this out later. We’ve got plenty of time. Let’s sleep, okay?”

He shook his head in agreement and followed you back down to the pillows. “I can’t wait,” he whispered, kissing your nose and closing his eyes to go to sleep for the second time that night.

[stealthtransman97--inactive]

Did I Have Childhood Gender Dysphoria?

Not really according to the DSM-5:

The DSM-5 defines gender dysphoria in children as a marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, lasting at least 6 months, as manifested by at least six of the following (one of which must be the first criterion):

A strong desire to be of the other gender or an insistence that one is the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender). I don’t think I ever felt this way, but my memory of childhood is practically nonexistent.

In boys (assigned gender), a strong preference for cross-dressing or simulating female attire; or in girls (assigned gender), a strong preference for wearing only typical masculine clothing and a strong resistance to the wearing of typical feminine clothing. I wore pretty androgenous clothing my whole life, but I never really liked my hair, doing makeup, or dressing up. The only time I wore dresses that I can see in photos was during school performances or weddings.

A strong preference for cross-gender roles in make-believe play or fantasy play. I didn’t have a lot of friends and I played with blocks in the library?

A strong preference for the toys, games or activities stereotypically used or engaged in by the other gender. I had some thrift store Barbies but I cut their hair short and gave them to my dogs as chew toys. My brother and I really liked playing with toy cars and GameBoys, and fighting with lightsabers, Nerf guns, and airsoft guns. We were both interested in art stuff like clay.

A strong preference for playmates of the other gender. I didn’t have very many friends, but I usually had one friend who was a girl. I remember wanting to be friends with the guys because I thought they were so cool, but I wasn’t cool enough to hang out with them.

In boys (assigned gender), a strong rejection of typically masculine toys, games, and activities and a strong avoidance of rough-and-tumble play; or in girls (assigned gender), a strong rejection of typically feminine toys, games, and activities. I don’t know if I rejected them, but I didn’t really participate. I liked art stuff and learned how to crochet and braid, but that’s about it.

A strong dislike of one’s sexual anatomy. I was completely unaware of my genitals until I was a teen.

A strong desire for the physical sex characteristics that match one’s experienced gender. I don’t remember it being to match a masculine gender, but the one and only time I remember choosing my haircut as a kid I chose to get it very short.

As with the diagnostic criteria for adolescents and adults, the condition must also be associated with clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

I did feel socially distressed. I didn’t have more than one friend at a time, and I always wanted to be a part of things but I didn’t know how. Overall, I was a little gender-nonconforming as a kid, but there weren’t really any obvious symptoms of gender dysphoria. 

That doesn’t discount how I feel now.

[jasontoddiefor]

Title: Manor-Dad lets me drive the Batmobile Chapter 6 Summary: The Batkids think Bruce is dating Batman ft. Jason being the best big brother ever to Tim AN: BET YOU THOUGHT YOU’D SEEN THE LAST OF ME. Yeah I updated!!!

Jason felt pretty shitty for the first week Tim was staying with them. He knew the sharp claws digging into his throat and head as well as nausea accompanied by them were all symptoms of jealousy trying to establish its place in Jason’s heart. He was sixteen for crying out loud. He should be above feeling jealous of a thirteen-year-old, who, most of the time, wasn’t even trying to get anyone’s attention. It was almost pitiful to witness Tim startling every time some addressed him because he wasn’t expecting anyone to really ask him about his day at dinner.

And yet Jason was hiding away in his room because he couldn’t stand Bruce paying attention to someone else like a spoiled little brat. He would have gone to the Cave, but Alfred had banned all of them from sulking in there. He figured it was only a question of time until Alfred got Batman to switch into civilian clothes and stay in the manor.

Groaning, Jason buried his head in his pillows.

Don’t be jealous of the new kid, don’t be jealous of the new kid, don’t be jealous of-

The door creaked.

“What’s up, Little Wing?”

Dick.

Right, it was Saturday morning. Of course Dick would be here.

“Nothing,” Jason replied, but even to his ears, his voice sounded wobbly.

Dick honored his horrible nickname and took Jason’s annoyance as an invitation. He let himself fall down onto Jason’s bed and stretched like a cat, taking up all the space. He stayed as silent as a bat while he waited for Jason to gather his courage. It was dumb, but when Dick wasn’t being a dick, he had this annoying quality that made you want to talk to him. He was good at giving advice that didn’t boil down to “money” or “batarangs” or random actually helpful bits about social cues. Jason knew he could trust his brother, he had kept his mouth shut about Sheila for months after all.

“I’m jealous,” Jason finally admitted. It was strange to say it out loud

Dick laughed. “Of my charming good looks? Don’t worry, you’ll get there.”

Jason rolled his eyes but cracked a small smile nevertheless.

“Not of that, Dickhead. And I’m already taller than you anyway.”

“Lies! Slander! How could you even just attempt to break my heart like that?”

Dramatically, Dick put his right arm to his forehead and closed his eyes, reminiscent of a shocked Victorian lady.

“Uhu, just consult the measurements on the kitchen entrance door. I’ve officially surpassed you.”

Even if Jason couldn’t really believe it. Leslie had estimated his height when he’d first gotten to the manor and back then it had seemed like he’d be lucky if he ever reached Dick’s height. Personally, Jason was blaming that alien plant fertilizer goo he’d gotten dosed with a couple months ago for his growth spurt, but he sure as hell wasn’t telling anyone that. Except for Alfred, in case he ended up growing flowers instead of hair.

“But no, I’m jealous of the kid.”

“Tim?” Dick asked.

His voice wasn’t judgmental or anything, but Jason still felt like apologizing.

Jason groaned and fell back on his bed. “I know! It’s stupid! But Bruce has been busy with him practically the whole week! I know it’s ‘cause they have to get his guardianship finalized and everything, but still. And he’s so smart too! Even Batman’s noticed! I lived in this house for weeks and I didn’t figure out the big batty secret, but the kid did it from a distance!”

“You know, I was pretty jealous too when you showed up.”

Jason definitely hadn’t known that. Honestly, Dick’s sunny attitude around Jason had almost freaked him out the first times he interacted with Dick.

“What?”

Dick shrugged easily.

“I mean, I wasn’t talking to Batman at all. And then there was you spending so much time down in the Cave with him. Of course, I was jealous. You were all cute and tiny and knew basically everything about Gotham already. I swear, I had to study boring maps for months and you already knew Gotham’s streets.”

“How did you deal with it?”

“I considered your situation and I tried to get to know you. Figure out your interests and stuff.”

Jason frowned.

“Wait. Was that the reason you went everywhere I wanted with me? Passive-aggressive exposure therapy in a mall?”

Dick grinned mischievously. “Well, it worked, didn’t it?”

X

Surprisingly, it didn’t take much to get Tim talking about himself. After reassuring him that, yes, Jason didn’t have anything more important to do and no, Bruce really was expecting Tim to decorate his room, Tim could not be stopped.

He talked.

So much.

About skateboarding, how much fun the keyboard was, his more challenging school classes, photography, Pokémon, his favorite comics, exciting facts he learned, the heroes conspiracy blog he was apparently running, and Robin.

Whenever they were alone, Tim would talk about Robin.

The sky was blue, the sun was hot, Timothy Jackson Drake didn’t shut up about Robin.

He got super excited and cheerful then, retelling Jason cases he had actually worked and wondering about how all the cool gadgets worked and just Robin.

Tim’s case of hero worship hadn’t gone unnoticed by the manor’s other residents either, but Jason wasn’t sure if Alfred or Bruce understood the way Tim talked about Robin. Like he was more than just a vigilante, like the role was a symbol.

“Batman needs Robin,” Tim said seriously. “It makes him better. I mean, Batgirl and Nightwing and Magpie, you’re all amazing! But it’s not Gotham without the Bat and his Robin, right?”

Tim looked unsure, but Jason realized the kid understood it.

And then Jason began to think.

X

Barbara couldn’t believe it took over a month for her to finally get to meet one Timothy Drake in person. She had researched him, even exchanged a few words with him over the comms once, but she had yet to actually meet the kid. Even Dick had met him, and he lived in Blüdhaven.

But Barbara had finally managed to clear enough time in her busy schedule – she was coordinating two vigilante teams and operating as Oracle after all – and driven up to the manor. If she used her time there to update the Bat-Computer as well, then that was only her business. She wasn’t a workaholic and she had a life outside of her duties when they allowed it.

She had the work-life-balance figured out, honestly.

Tim was a cute kid. A bit shy at first, but he warmed up to her quickly enough. Jason must have expected it because he was grinning when Tim started chattering about video games.

“So, what do you think?” Jason asked.

“He’s a good kid.”

“Aaaand?”

“You’re being awfully noisy. What do you want to know?”

“Batman talks to you about my training, doesn’t he? How much longer until I can go solo?”

Barbara leaned forward in her wheelchair. “What do you think?”

Jason deflated. “I don’t know. I feel like I’ve been ready for it for ages. I haven’t needed B’s back up in a long while, but imagining him being halfway across town is… unsettling still.”

Barbara nodded slowly before replying.

��Honestly? You’ve been ready for two months already at least. Batman just has a hard time letting go. He’s never really been without one of us for a very long time.”

“Right,” Jason said. “Which is why we can’t leave him alone.”

“What are you thinking?”

Jason pointed at Timothy, eagerly throwing batarangs at a target.

“He said that Gotham, that Batman, needs Robin. I’m thinking we should take advantage of the kid who already knows our secret and has a hard time falling asleep when we’re out.”

X

Bruce knew something was up, but he allowed himself to live in blissful ignorance a little longer. He let Dick sneak forensics lessons into Tim’s self-defense classes, allowed Jason to teach Tim about the various gangs ruling Gotham.

It wasn’t like these bits of information weren’t useful, the every-day citizen just didn’t particularly need them.

And Bruce definitely wasn’t thinking about who did need this knowledge and more.

Tim Drake was his ward for as long as his parents weren’t in Gotham. Nothing more and nothing less.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Bruce could see Alfred observing him while the kids (“I’m a twenty-year-old woman, B.” “And I remember babysitting you as a teenager, your point?”) bickered about some movie.

Ignorance was bliss, that was a lesson Bruce had learned early on. And sometimes you were allowed to indulge in it.

X

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Tim asked from where he was sitting on Jason’s bed.

“Absolutely,” Jason replied, grinning way too cheerfully for six in the morning. He’d only gotten back from patrol two hours ago, he shouldn’t be so awake yet, or so Tim thought, yet Jason looked like he could take on the world.

“But we’re breaking one of The Rules.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry about it. They’re more like guidelines than rules. Besides, Aunty Diana and Kate already agreed to help us. This is a surefire plan.”

Tim honestly wasn’t so sure about it. He wanted to trust Jason, but what if Bruce and Batman didn’t think it was funny to be tricked into a date?

“But-“

“Jason’s right, Tim,” Barbara’s voice echoed from the laptop sitting on Jason’s desk. “Besides, the worst that will happen is that you get grounded because Bruce and B are caught up in the romantic bliss that was relaxing on Valentine’s Day in Paris.”

“That’s right!” Jason said. “We’re setting up dates for them at least twice a year if we can. It would be suspicious if we didn’t try to get them away.”

Tim pulled his knees to his chest and rested his head on them. “If you say so… I still don’t get why we need both of them out of Gotham for so long. Can’t they stay here?”

“I do say so, Timbit. Just you wait, they won’t know what hit them. And if they stay here, they’d just take their paperwork to bed.”

“Eeww.”

X

Bruce absolutely knew what hit him. Diana and Kate were good actors, they had to be if they even just wanted to operate as vigilantes, but they didn’t even bother to hide it from him.

“It’s cute,” Diana said. “How much they try to make their parents happy.”

“Very funny. What if something actually happens, though?”

“Then your Super-Bro will pick you up from Paris,” Kate replied. “And ten years ago you were working alone. Now you’ve got me and Dick and Jason and Babs to look over Gotham. We got this.”

Her words would have been more encouraging if they weren’t followed up by her narrowly avoiding a brick being thrown at her.

Nevertheless, he still pretended to buy WE having an emergency in their Paris branch and one of Gotham’s smuggler rings operating from Paris as well.

The kids’ happy expressions were worth it.

X

Dick felt maybe a little guilty for lying to Tim. It was true, they tried to give Bruce and Batman some alone time once in a while and Valentine’s day was perfect for it. This time though, they needed the two men away so they could properly get to Tim.

Truth be told, he’d been skeptical when Barbara and Jason had pitched the idea to him. Training Tim and giving him a home was one thing, bringing him into the active side of the vigilante life a whole other deal.

The longer he watched Tim though, the more could he see it. The teenager was smart, dedicated, skilled and – like Jason had said – he knew what Robin meant.

Though, seeing him be questioned about the law, recent gang activity, weapons, the Justice League, and various Gotham residing companies by Babs all while sparing with Jason, made Dick pity Tim.

Dick’s Robin training had been way more relaxed, but he also hadn’t had three older siblings.

X

If not for the fact that Jason had made Tim’s favorite smoothie for him, Tim would assume the older boy was trying to murder him. It was day three of their spontaneous ‘sibling-bonding weekend’ and Tim was pretty sure his whole body was dying. He had never had to think or work out this much. He was sore all over. The training mats he was lying on were becoming his favorite spot to be, right after his bathtub and his bed.

“And how do you feel?” Dick asked.

“Like Superman decided I was a threat and went several rounds in the ring with me because I couldn’t recall that the Kryptonite is locked with a special key, and three different locks behind the secret entrance-“

“Woah, woah, Timbit,” Jason interrupted. “That’s enough trivia. Didn’t think you could learn this much in three days.”

“Mhm,” Barbara muttered from the desk of the Bat-Computer. “You own me fifty bucks.”

Tim frowned. “Wait. You bet on this?”

“Oooh, yeah. This has been two months in the making?” Dick glanced at Jason, who nodded in confirmation.

“Yeah, putting together a time table for three days wasn’t fun, I tell you, but the results are pretty amazing.”

Jason smiled and dropped down on the mats right next to Tim to mess up his sweaty hair.

“Urgh, gross,” he cursed and rubbed his hands on his sweat pants.

“But- why did you do this?”

The three heroes in front of Tim shared a look and Tim got the distinct impression that he was missing a big piece labeled ‘context’ in bright neon colors here.

“Your parents will be back in a few hours,” Barbara said.

(Tim wondered what it meant that his first instinct wasn’t to think about his own parents but-)

“I guess that means it’s time,” Dick said and walked over to the display cases in which the various Robin uniforms were kept. From in-between them, he pulled forward a small gift-wrapped box.

“Catch!” He shouted and threw it in Tim’s direction.

Heart beating fast, Tim jumped up to catch it. The package wasn’t bigger than his palm and surrounded by Christmas themed paper.

“Christmas? Really?” Jason snorted, but Dick just shrugged.

“Didn’t have anything better at home. Go on, Tim, open it. If you want it, it’s yours.”

Carefully, Tim unwrapped the gift, revealing a cardboard box. He could feel the others’ stares on him but didn’t dare look up. They had put a lot of thought into this and spend so much time with him. He couldn’t disappoint them.

Tim opened the box and came face to face with a shiny black and gold emblem.

“What…?”

“You said it yourself,” Jason said. “Batman needs a Robin and I’m not putting on the green tights again.”

“What Jason means,” Dick added, “is that we really can’t be responsible for Batman running around without a talented little pipsqueak cracking masterful puns. So if you want to be Robin, you have our blessings. You only need to convince the other two overprotective idiots of this house.”

It took all of Tim’s strength not to burst into tears right then and there. He was thankful though that Jason and Dick dragged him over to Babs for a group hug. 

X

Bruce didn’t even know why he had assumed it would end differently. Tim had been skittish the whole week and Bruce had watched the Cave’s security tapes, just to make sure they hadn’t tried to hide an explosion from him again.

“I‘m fairly skilled in a multitude of martial arts now,“ Tim began his speech.

“No,” Batman replied.

At the other end of the Cave, Nightwing and Magpie were supposed to be sparring, but they couldn’t be listening in more obviously.

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

Tim pouted.

“You’re not becoming Robin, Tim.”

Tim crossed his arms and held his chin high. Batman recognized that stance instantly, he did it fairly often himself. Maybe Clark had been right when he said that it was freaky to work alongside his kids because they all had the same body language during missions.

“I already talked to Bruce and he said that Batman needs a Robin.”

Honestly, what was it with his children lying to him?

Nevertheless, Bruce couldn’t help but crack a smile. “Did he really?”

And Tim had the audacity to nod, all serious like he wasn’t lying straight to Bruce’s face. His poker face was pretty already, not too many cracks in the mask. The kids had done an excellent job training and it would be a shame if that training went to waste.

So, Bruce really couldn’t argue against Tim, could he?

[allie1804-fan]

New Beginnings (Chapter 3)

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New Beginnings Baby Drabble

New Beginnings Baby Drabble No2

6 months later (November)

It was a Saturday morning at around 9 when Emily stirred from her slumber, easing out from under Keanu’s grasp to go to the bathroom. As she wiped herself after taking a leak, she felt the tell-tale sign that her period had started.She drew a shaky breath and tried to get herself under control but it was no good. Anger and sadness filled her with bitterness. She knew rationally that this could take a while and 6 months was nothing in the scheme of things but it was relentless having the monthly reminder that they had failed again. She decided on a hot shower to soothe her tension away and got up from the toilet to turn the water on.

“think positive thoughts” she berated herself as the water tumbled down “you have a girly lunch with Chloe today, that will cheer you up and maybe you can talk over these raging feelings with her”

As she washed the shampoo suds out of her hair she heard the shower door slide open and Keanu stepped in behind her immediately wrapping his arms around her.

“Morning sweethe…. don’t” she interrupted her greeting, yelping as his fingers had started to trail to her opening”

“What?, I thought you liked that!”

“I do, usually - sorry love, it’s just, you don’t wanna go there, I just got my period” she huffed, looking up at him over her shoulder with sad eyes”

He pulled her round to face him and hugged her close.

“Try not to worry, darling, we’ll get there, it just sometimes takes a while I guess”

Emily nodded back, a stray tear leaking out which he smoothed away with his thumb.

“Don’t you have plans today? Lunch with Chloe on the Drive right?”

“Yeah, what are you doing?”

“biking and lunch with the boys – be back around 5 I expect”

Over breakfast Chloe started on a topic she didn’t think would go down well with Keanu but she couldn’t stop herself

“Do  you think we should maybe do anything different, you know to help our chances?”

“like what?”

“Well maybe like trying to be a bit healthier?”

“We are healthy, aren’t we? – I mean we eat well. Don’t drink that much……….. oh I see where this is going. So this is my fault now because I smoke right?”

“I never said it was anyone’s fault Ke – I just want to move ahead and maybe that might help. Listen, you don’t have to give anything up. It’s just an idea is all”

Keanu stepped around the kitchen island. His face was contrite as he wrapped his arms around her gently.

“I’m sorry, I over-reacted. I know this is especially hard on you ….”

“Oh so it’s OK for you because you don’t really mind either way huh?”

“Jesus Christ woman, no that’s not what I meant. I just meant everything feels focussed on your body – if we succeed, you’ll be sick and all that and when we don’t succeed you have the reminder of your period driving you crazy, that’s all I meant! And if you recall, it was me who brought up the idea first, not you so don’t say I don’t want this!”

“God sorry, sorry – I’m just crabby. Ignore me”

He hugged her to him “take a taxi to lunch, go drink espresso martinis, champagne – whatever you want. Take my American Express card and go shopping on Rodeo Drive after!”

She laughed and hugged him back.

“Good plan Reeves – I might take you up on that”

They puttered around the house getting ready for their respective trips both looking forward to time with other people after the tension of the morning.

Emily met with Chloe at 208 Rodeo at noon hugging her tightly.

“Boy, I really, really need this” she exclaimed. I’m gonna drink myself a little bit silly then take you up to the shops on the drive and exploit my boyfriend’s credit card, deal?”

“Sure” Chloe said brightly though Emily caught the whisper of hesitation in her manner. Brushing it off, they headed in to get their table by the window.

“So how’s tricks?” Emily asked

“No, no you first, you’ve always got more interesting things going on than me” Chloe protested.

“Well if interesting is getting my period again then your life must be really dull!” Emily grimaced.

Chloe was the only person she’d trusted with the secret that she and Keanu were trying for a baby and for the first 5 months she’d sent ‘crying face’ emoji’s to Chloe each month when the bad news came.

The waitress came back just as Chloe had taken Emily’s hand in hers giving it a squeeze, a pained look on her face.

“2 espresso martinis to start us off ” Emily exclaimed.

“no no not for me Chloe exclaimed. Just a white wine spritzer. I can’t take the hard stuff at lunch.

“Spoil sport” Emily pouted.

Their drinks came and they placed their orders for lunch, settling back to their prior conversation.

“Listen, Em, you’ll get there in the end. It’s just random luck you know. It took ages, you know like well over a year for Jamie and” she paused

“and what?”

“and nothing, I just mean it can take a while. I know it’s super frustrating but, you know it can’t be so bad doing the deed with him can it”

Emily giggled and blushed

 “Ok, ok you got me there. I’ll try to chill but I guess it’s just starting to grate and then I end up looking for advice on the internet and this morning I brought up his smoking ….”

“Oh! and how did that go?”

“badly I’d say, he got real defensive, then guilty. I was just so tetchy – my period came this morning and I’d started to hope some of my now obviously pre-menstrual symptoms were, you know, symptoms!”

“It’s such a bitch that they are basically the same symptoms right?” Chloe sympathised.

“thank god I have you to talk to.  I think I’d go completely crazy without you. So, do you think I overstepped mentioning his smoking? I guess I forgot that it took you a year to get pregnant with Jamie. Did you and John ever fall out over it?”

Chloe laughed a little nervously.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry….”

“hey, no it’s OK – where shall I start. Errm yes we fell out – I got kind of obsessed you know with the optimum conditions and he felt like I only wanted sex for making a baby you know.  It’s so hard to chill and not to wonder why it’s not worked but listen, it’ll probably just fall into place when you least expect it” Chloe looked away through the restaurant window, a frown crossing her face.

“You OK hun?” Emily asked, “you seem kind of distracted today”

“I guess I am, distracted I mean”

Emily looked questioningly at Chloe

“so what’s up”

“Hun, I have something to tell you and I know it’s not going to be easy and given what we’ve been discussing, it’s going to hurt …..”

Chloe’s eyes were filled with tears as she watched the realisation slowly dawn on Emily’s face.

“You’re pregnant aren’t you?”

Chloe nodded slowly reaching out her hand to Emily’s – Emily tried to pull away at first but Chloe grasped her fingers

“you know I didn’t do this to hurt you, we only just started trying….”

“you think that fact makes me feel better!?” Emily spat back at her, snatching her hand away now, anger flashing in her eyes

“no, no I just mean I thought about how it might be if I got pregnant first but after Jamie I was just sure you’d fall first and it wouldn’t be ….like this” she gulped down a sob “please don’t hate me Em!”

Emily took a shaky hold of her drink and gulped it down then just stared at the table for what seemed like several long minutes to Chloe. Emily battled with herself, wanting to run away and die in a ditch but knowing she needed Chloe too and she still had a tiny rational voice telling her this was just bad luck for her and not a deliberate act of spite by Chloe and John. She took a deep breath and looked Chloe in the eye at last.

“Congratulations” she smiled tightly. “I’m not gonna lie, this is , err painful for me but I know it shouldn’t be. Honestly, I’m happy for you, it will be great for Jamie to have a brother or sister”

“Thanks Em … I love you, you know?”

“I know” Em sniffed.

Their lunches arrived giving them the opportunity to just digest this new change in their lives. Eventually Emily spoke, sticking to the  same theme.

“So” Emily began “do you have any top tips for how I’m gonna make it through this without going completely bat-shit crazy?”

“not sure I’m the best person to ask somehow, given the amount of times I took ovulation tests and my temperature when we were trying with Jamie.

Emily chuckled.

“I’ve been telling myself not to go there but now it’s getting very tempting. Especially as I am pretty sure we’re gonna miss some opportunities soon coz Keanu’s off on a 6 week shoot in January.

“well I can’t stop you going there and I know only too well that telling you to relax is just stupid. But maybe just try to have as much other stuff going on to think about, you know. I’m not saying that it will make conceiving more likely, but it might just stop you going bonkers! And I know this doesn’t really apply to you, but we ended up deciding to spend a bunch of our savings on a trip – do you remember when we went to Paris and stayed in the Georges V?

“yeah, yeah I do – why did you think that would help?!”

“I think we just thought screw it, we deserve something nice and maybe fate’s sense of irony would grant us a pregnancy the minute we’d run our savings down and couldn’t really afford a child!”

“And did it work?”

“yeah I guess so, I think we went on that trip in the June and we were pregnant by end July!”

“maybe I should get Keanu to donate all his money to charity then!”

“nahhh don’t do that  - but hey a holiday might be a good thing. What else do you have going on?”

“I’ve got some re-writes on a couple of movies and Keanu’s TV thing is back on the table so I’ve got some deadlines to keep me busy”

Their lunch continued and they even went and did a little shopping in the upscale stores on Rodeo Drive. Emily was back home by 5 and Keanu arrived shortly after.

“Did you have fun sweetie” he asked “looks like you got in some retail therapy too, huh?” he said noting the bags on the floor.

“yeah thanks, I did” she said quietly

“you sure, you don’t look too happy ………… is Chloe OK?”

“Yup, Chloe is fine …… Chloe is pregnant!”

“oh!”

“yes, oh”

“I don’t know what to say”

“It’s OK, we didn’t fight or anything, in fact talking to her was useful  - but I can’t deny at first I wanted to curl up and die!”

“Come ‘ere” He pulled her into a tight hug.

“It’ll be OK hun, we’ll get there ……. And if we don’t we have each other right?”

Emily nodded sadly

“you don’t have to look so thrilled at the idea of just me!” he huffed

“sorry, I know you’re right and I love you, you know I do, but I, I just really want this you know and I’m not ready to think about it not happening, not just yet OK?”

“OK, me neither”

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New Beginnings Baby Drabble

New Beginnings Baby Drabble No2

[ziracona]

😮 Oh man, with the insight on Frank, it has me so curious. What's going on in the heads of everyone in the Legion lately? I'm especially curious about Joey, after the quality time spent with the survivors (well, in the back seat with Susie driving) during "She's Like the Wind". Or, if you're tired of the Legion, what about Michael in "The Tower"?

I’m totally happy to do the Legion (and I actually wrote up a bunch of stuff on them before deciding p best to wait), but there’s a lot of Legion stuff in the chapter I’m posting in the next couple days with some sort of big status-quo changes, so I feel like I should wait until after that to give Legion updates, or it could be kind of a waste, so I’ll do Michael.

Oh boy Mikey. Let me see. Buckle up, because this is a long one. So, let me start by saying in this fic, the way I write him is based on the canon portrayal in the first film (and some influence from the others—especially 2 and H20), but with my honest best attempt at an accurate psychological take on his situation. Horror’s a great genre, but it does a really shitty job about using mental illness as some kind of blanket excuse for being evil. John Carpenter literally came up with Michael after seeing some 12 year old schizophrenic kid in a mental institution when he was on a field trip that he thought had really dead, evil looking eyes, like he didn’t have a soul. Which is a pretty fucked up way to treat mental illness. And, since there’s no reason I should accept ‘He’s got psychosis and the devil’s eyes and has nothing in him but evil” as an accurate take on an actual human being, I’m not. I’m taking what is canon, and interpreting it (to the best of my ability) like a normal psychologist or person who isn’t Dr. Sam Loomis would. Usually I wouldn’t give as much on a character psych take (because I really, really like seeing how people interpret things), but it’s kind of specifically important for Michael and me doing my best to write him responsibly that while he’s a lot of things, and a lot of them bad, he’s not a mindless wall of walking evil.

Canonically, Michael’s had psychosis since he was at least five, and heard voices that told him to do bad things, like hurt people. He told his parents, in an attempt to get help, and was ignored. When he was six, he did what the voices told him to in an attempt to get them to stop, and killed his sister (without looking at what he was doing while he did it as much as he could [canon]), and then went downstairs to wait for his parents to get home (probably in the hopes that they could fix it, because he was six years old, and when you’re six, your parents can fix everything). Instead of anything getting better, he got sent to court, sentenced (to be tried for murder as an adult in fifteen years when he turned 21, which is absolute bullshit because by no stretch of human logic can a 6 year old child have committed a crime as an adult), and then left in an asylum for the next fifteen years of his life. His psychosis worsened, and he gained other symptoms, such as mutism and catatonia. His mom only visited a few times, with his little sister, and then she vanished off the face of the planet from his point of view. Completely abandoned by his family and everyone he knew, the only human contact he had from ages 6-21 was Doctor Sam Loomis, his psychiatrist, who had decided within a couple of months, that Michael was the human personification of evil, faking his mental illness like the evil genius six year old he was, and a demon in human form hellbent on murder. Now, the human brain doesn’t stop developing until the mid 20s, and it sure as hell isn’t done when you’re six. Kids that age don’t even really have a fully developed understanding of mortality and only a basic grasp on ethics. Emotional empathy doesn’t start really forming well until age seven, and abstract reasoning isn’t until preteen years. When you’re six, you’re not old enough to be evil. You just aren’t. But, if you grow up from age 6-21 with only one constant in your life, isolated in a tiny white room, hearing over and over from said only constant, an adult and the source of authority in your life, that you are evil, and soulless, and you are a killer waiting to kill again, you are dying to get out and commit murder, and they’re onto you, how exactly can you expect a human being to turn out?Especially when they’re already dealing with violent psychosis. You’ve basically convinced a mentally ill child that they are the bad voices in their head, not the person, and their goal in life is to commit lots of murder.

Michael’s personal goal, as much as he has one left, has pretty much solidly always been to do what the voices want so they’ll stop and he can be at peace. What they want is for him to kill his family, meaning his sister, Laurie. Kill Laurie, be at peace. That being the case, ending up in the Entity’s realm is about as shitty for him as it is for her, because no matter how many goddamn times he kills her, he can never, ever kill her for real, so he will never be able to stop the voices. He’s about as tired of being here as she is, which is saying a lot. But it’s been forty years of shit for him too.

I think Michael forgot he was a person a long time ago, because nobody’s treated him like one since he was baby. Since he was six. If you treat someone like a monster their whole life, that’s what they’re almost certainly going to become. In the Entity’s realm, it hasn’t really been any different. I don’t think he thinks about things very complexly, because he’s sort of too tired to, and he doesn’t have a real reason. He never learned a lot of normal human behaviors, including any attempt at even the most basic social contact. It’s like that really depressing scene in Lilo & Stitch when Jumba’s commenting on what it must be like to have nothing, even memories, to visit at night. He has memories, but they’re basically all the same—white room, fifteen years of Dr. Loomis. None of that’s a real human experience. Dr. Loomis didn’t even think he was a human—called him “It” instead of “Him.”

With Laurie suddenly acknowledging he’s her brother, it’s weird to him. Canonically, every time someone in a film reminds Michael he’s related to them, it’s like he gets smacked in the face (it’s actually kind of hilarious. He even takes his mask off for his niece in 5 when she calls him “Uncle”). A family member doing this always metaphorically suckerpunches him with the reminder that he has a name and an existence outside of killing people and there are human beings who know who he is and are related to him and have a lasting concept of him as a person. It’s not like he ever forgot they were siblings, but he didn’t remember to think about it. He spends all his time being the Shape, because Michael hasn’t really existed since he was six years old (not in a Dissociative Identity Disorder way, just, it’s an aspect of who he is that no one has been willing to acknowledge since he was a baby. He puts on the mask and kills because that’s what he’s supposed to be. It doesn’t really matter if he wants to, or if he likes it, or even if he still doesn’t have a completely developed concept of mortality, because he’s known for years now that it’s just what he does. It’s what he is). I don’t think he really knows how to think or feel (which he’s not used to doing period) about his sister or about that and being spoken to. He was definitely relieved at the prospect of having a way out of this, and since then it’s been kind of agonizing that she reneged on him and won’t commit joint suicide, but she’s also just been…weird. Been different. She talks to him like a person, which no one has ever done, and he does remember her from when they were little. I think it’s very confusing. He really doesn’t have the normal human skillset to be able to emotionally understand this. Which doesn’t mean he’s some emotionless zombie, just, he didn’t learn how to properly interpret or respond to things. He doesn’t have a normal human emotional or social skillset, because he never got to develop one. He didn’t get the chance. He hasn’t had a positive physical interaction, a hug, a handhold, a pat on the shoulder, since he was six--he hasn’t had any kind of social contact outside of the hostile psychological hatred and threats from Dr. Loomis period. There’s just not a normal set of human understand-the-world mental structures developed in him at all. Instead he’s got like…just all this shit—this really fucked up way of understanding the world built from fifteen years in isolation with just Dr. Loomis that’s completely separate from a normal human experience or mental scape, and the mental set of tools he would use to try to understand his sister is like, the dusty old normal human set that stopped growing when he was six years old that he kind of forgot about.

Michael’s also never done anything he wasn’t supposed to in the Entity’s realm, and I don’t think this has been explicitly stated in the fic, but he’s been punished now, for trying to break the rules with Laurie these past few trials. I don’t think he knew how to handle that or feel about it or think about it either, because it was a new experience for him. It’s very hard to hurt him at all, and it’s never happened with the Entity before this.

During The Tower, Michael wanted what he’s wanted since it was on the table (a way out by killing her), and when she said she couldn’t do it yet, genuinely misinterpreted that as her meaning she had to help the others finish the trial first. I don’t think he entirely understood why she kept running away from him, but he’s used to that kind of behavior, so it wasn’t that strange. What was extremely weird to him was getting jumped by two kids (when usually survivors wouldn’t touch him with a fifty-foot pole if it was up to them), who proceeded to tell him be was being a really crappy brother and should be nicer. It was. Surreal. I think when Laurie showed up and told him she hadn’t meant ‘in twelve minutes’ when she said later, he didn’t just attack her because he was mad she didn’t want to do suicide yet, I think it also kind of hurt his feelings that she made fun of him when he genuinely was trying to understand and thought she meant something else. Since what he wanted was off the table, he was upset (which was especially volatile becaus he doesn’t often experience hugely strong emotions) and on instinct just did what has been programmed to come naturally instead and went fucking lethal on them all, but got a surprising amount of resistance.

When she came back to fight him alone, I don’t think he completely understood everything she said, but he got a lot of it, and he didn’t like it. He didn’t like losing the chance to get out of the realm for good with her, but I think he also didn’t really like being basically told that he was dead to her from here on out. I don’t think he’d exactly think of it that way, or put it into words—I don’t think he’d had long enough or the emotional growth enough to appreciate her caring about him, or to want it, but at the same time, he’d had someone treat him like a person for the first time in fifty some years, and I think it was probably briefly nice to be called by his own name and talked to like a person—I think it would be hard for that not to mean a little bit, even if you didn’t understand way. And then he had it reaffirmed by her before their fight that what Dr. Loomis had always said was true, and he’d fucked up so bad with her that he wasn’t ‘Michael’ anymore to her either, and even if he wouldn’t really think of it like that, I think subconsciously, that kind of had to hurt. 

At the end of their fight, when he was out on the floor, and Laurie didn’t kill him, while he was genuinely unconscious for some of that, he was awake for some of it too—the bulk of it, actually. Michael in film canon routinely not only has genuine resets where he passes out and heals and gets back up, but plays dead as well, to protect himself. So, he did hear a decent chunk of what Laurie said to him. She kind of poured her heart out, and some of it was pretty complicated stuff, and a lot of it was stuff he doesn’t really have the emotional complexity developed to understand right now, but he understood some of it. I don’t think he expected things to end like they did (and not just him getting his ass kicked by her). She basically flipped on him, and said she was wrong, and even like this he was still her brother, and because she remembers how he was when he was six she can’t make herself not love him, even if she knows she shouldn’t, and that she wasn’t going to kill him like that, even if it meant he was going to come after her again and kill her. I don’t think he gets why she would say those things, but it did make him want to know, and I think he’s aware that it should mean something to him, regardless of if it does or not on an emotional level, and it is at least something that interests him. Probably his most intact human emotion is curiosity (and it’s no wonder—he’s basically never seen anything, or been anywhere, or done anything—he’s barely gotten a chance to live, period. Any social interaction where someone isn’t running from him screaming or threatening him and telling him he’s a monster is uncharted territory). What that would mean for him going forward as far as Laurie is concerned is very complicated, though. Laurie interests him and there are things he wants to understand, but he’s just got so little ability to function like a normal human being. So much of him is so awfully mangled and maladapted, and the rest has been stagnating since he was 6 and he’s so very, completely, depressingly isolated. He’s a serial killer, but he’s really also kind of a tragic character. It’s fucked up what happened to him, and most of it isn’t really his fault. It didn’t have to be like that.

[nonhumanwithin]

Advice for confused kin

(Note: I’m not fictionkin or any other type of unusual kin, just a normal otherkin, so I’ll be talking about my own experiences and not really fictionkin or the like. I wish I could help, I’m sorry!)

This is more centered around my personal experiences, but I do hope it helps others as well. Writing out your thoughts can sometimes help clear your mind c:

So, I’ve struggled with figuring out my kintypes for a long time. I’ve known I’m otherkin for almost 9 years now, and yet I still struggle from time to time with my identity. This is mostly due to my mental illnesses (BPD and CPTSD, if you’re curious), which I know I’m not the only otherkin struggling with. I know of a few others who are adults and have been in the community for some time who struggle with finding out their identity. So, if you’re like me, or maybe more new to the community or younger, either way, I hope this helps at least a little.

First, I’ll go over some basics:

Being otherkin means you identify as a nonhuman being (non physically!). You are this creature, and it is you.

Being otherhearted/kith means you identify with the creature, not as. Maybe you wish you were this creature, maybe not. It holds a part of your heart, and in a way, is probably apart of who you are as a person, but it doesn’t shape your identity in the same way a kintype does. You probably can’t imagine not identifying as your kintype, but you could still be you without your kithtype.

However, being otherhearted/kith is NOT the same as having a favorite animal. It can be like a favorite animal, but you feel like “favorite animal” doesn’t quite describe how you feel about the animal. It is definitely something more than that.

Cameo shifts are shifts into another creature that isn’t your kintype. (Note that shifting as your kithtype counts as cameo, or at least, I don’t know any better word for it, so that’s what I’ll call it for now.)

So, how do you distinguish a kintype from a kithtype? What makes a shift a cameo instead of a kintype shift?

I think for something to be considered a kintype, you must identify as it for a certain amount of time (maybe about 6 months) and distinctly feel that it is you and feel as if, when you see your kintype, you are looking in a mirror, not seeing a friend. (Of course, if you find your kintype and decide you’re sure enough to call it a kintype before 6 months that is completely fine, I’m talking about those who are confused or questioning and want to be absolutely sure!)

For me, when I see something I know is a kithtype- for this example I’ll use wolves, as they are a kithtype of mine and I did think I was a wolf for a while- I do see similarities between us. But I feel more a deep admiration for them than a feeling of “that’s me!”. I feel as if I’m seeing brothers and sisters, like I could walk among wolves like they are family, but they’re not. I like to compare it to the way Native Americans in movies (idk about irl so I’m comparing to movies bc it’s easier) have certain animals they deeply respect and sort of draw power/happiness/knowledge/etc from. It is a deep connection, and for me it feels almost familial. I want to protect wolves, and learn about them, and someday see them in person. I want to be their friend, their ally, their sibling. But I am not one of them.

With my dog theriotype, it’s different. When I see seppalas with black and white coats like how I imagine my theriotype to look, I get a very strong feeling like “that’s me!!!” and feel as if I’m looking in a mirror, or seeing a picture of me when I looked really good, haha. I see myself as this animal, and it feels completely natural to do so. I could imagine myself as my dog theriotype doing dog things, or imagine something silly like being a dog doing human things, like typing at my computer. But it feels 100% natural to see myself this way. Calling myself a dog feels right. Calling myself a wolf would feel more like, trying to fit into your older sibling’s clothes as a kid, if that makes sense? I sometimes want to be a wolf because I admire them so much. But, I am not one.

But of course, the lines between kin and kith aren’t always so distinct. Maybe you feel so strongly for an animal that you wonder if it is a kintype, but you feel it’s not quite strong enough to be a kintype. Maybe you have had very strong shifts as your kithtype and question if it means something more, or if the shifts were only cameos. Maybe you heavily relate to some of the characteristics of your kithtype and feel as if these characteristics are linked to a kintype and this creature fits your feelings fairly closely, probably not totally accurately.

Alternatively, maybe you question a kintype being a kithtype instead because you don’t always feel it so strongly. Maybe you’re not as connected to one kintype as another. Maybe you think you’re just biased and really really like this animal and shouldn’t be so quick to label it as a kintype.

So, where do you draw the line?

It might be different for you, but for me personally, I think I would have to consider myself this animal enough to want to call myself this animal, at least most of the time. Maybe I don’t feel it as strongly as my dog theriotype, but if I were to introduce myself to someone, I would want to mention all of my theriotypes. I must have somewhat frequent/strong shifts of this animal that do not fade, or feel partially shifted for a long period of time. I’ve found that if I have random bursts of shifts that are only caused by outside influences, they are cameo shifts. My kintype shifts might be more random, last longer, and feel more solid, while cameo shifts feel more unstable, like they won’t last very long.

What sucks about me personally is that, when I cameo shift, I feel very strongly in that moment that I am that creature, that I identify as it. I have had very strong feline shifts, where I feel totally cat and want to rub my head on things and purr. But I get these shifts too infrequently to call myself a feline. Though that’s how it is for me personally. Maybe you’re different and have very infrequent shifts, that’s okay!

The main difference is that I do not normally identify as a cat. I have strong cat shifts caused by outside influences and will feel as if I am internally a cat for a short time, but it always goes away. If I am doing something unrelated to cats and not thinking about it for some time, and someone asks what animal I feel like in that moment, I would not say I am a cat.

Another difference is I will sort of instinctively shift as a reaction to certain situations, such as fear. For example, I have social anxiety and I remember a day when I went to the store feeling particularly anxious, and had a strong orca shift as a result, feeling the urge to slap my tail at anyone who got too close (sounds hilarious writing it out tbh). I wouldn’t normally have cameo shifts as a defense thing like this. I wouldn’t shift into a dragon or cat or whatever in this situation unless I was already thinking about them a lot or something.

I would have wolf shifted in the past when I believed I was a wolf, because my dog theriotype is pretty similar to wolves and I was confident I was a wolf back then. So, it’s good to try to remain unbiased if you are questioning a kintype and wondering what animal your shift is linked to. Instead of labeling it with any specific animal, stay neutral. For example, if you feel a long snout and the urge to growl and bare your teeth, do not call it a canine shift. There are other animals with long snouts that growl.

If you have a lot of cameo shifts and want to determine whether certain shifts are cameos or indications of a kintype, I would recommend:

Doing research. You’ve probably already done research to figure out what animal exactly you are shifting into, but I’d recommend also figuring out if you identify with many of the traits from this animal. For example, do you feel drawn to the habitat it lives in? When you hear its vocalizations do they sound familiar and you think if you could make these vocalizations it would feel right? Think about how big or small the animal is, does it feel right imagining yourself from that point of view? Maybe you’ll find you do little things that are similar to this animal. Be aware that they could very well be normal human things, but ultimately I think it’s up to you to determine whether these characteristics feel related to a kintype or not. Also, everyone is different! Maybe you don’t like the habitat your kintype lives in, etc. You don’t have to identify with all of these questions.

Take it slow, don’t think too much about it. Personally, the more I think about a potential kintype, the more I want to rush things and feel more biased and want to label myself, but this can be a bad idea.

Going off the last note but it’s 100% okay to be wrong about your kintype. If you absolutely feel right calling yourself a certain creature and want to label yourself this now, go ahead! Do what makes you happy. Maybe in a few months or a few years you’ll realize you were wrong. But that’s okay, everyone is still learning and growing, everyone makes mistakes. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for switching labels when it doesn’t affect them at all. It’s your own life, your own mind. Only you know how you feel, and no one can tell you how to think or feel or whatever.

However, if you are prone to rushing things and switching labels and such and want to quit, I would recommend waiting around 6 months before labeling a new kintype. If by then you still feel strongly you identify as this animal, label away! I say 6 months because from what I have seen it’s the period of time before someone can be diagnosed with a mental disorder. You have to experience symptoms of a disorder for at least 6 months in order to be diagnosed. I think it’s a good amount of time, because a lot can happen in 6 months, but you will not change who you are as a person or your core identity in 6 months. Basically, your kintype isn’t going anywhere by then. The only reason I can think of someone identifying as the wrong kintype for 6 months is if their actual kintype is very similar, and maybe they aren’t aware it exists (which is what happened in my case!), or haven’t looked into it enough. But of course, it’s totally up to you. Whatever you’re most comfortable with.

It’s also totally okay to not know your kintype. Maybe you don’t know any of your kintype(s), and just know that you don’t feel totally human. That’s okay! Everyone goes at their own pace. You have all the time in the world to figure yourself out.

Keeping a journal is a good idea. Try to be as unbiased as possible and write down your shifts and other otherkin experiences. Write down why you think you shifted, if it’s totally random or was possibly caused by something. Write down any urges you have that you think are kin related.

Maybe try inducing shifts of different animals you are considering as kintypes and note the differences between them and how comfortable/stable the different shifts feel.

You could have a friend or just have a timer or something to remind you to randomly ask yourself how you are feeling in that moment, if you feel like any particular animal. It can be very subtle.

Do things your possible kintype would do, watch videos, look at pictures, or if you’re into drawing, draw yourself! Draw how your phantom shifts would look, or draw what you think you would look like as this possible kintype. If you can’t draw or feel it wouldn’t accurately capture what you’re thinking. try to imagine it as vividly as possible. Does it feel like you? Do you feel as if you’re looking in a mirror, or does it feel more like a character/fursona, or like seeing an old friend?

I won’t get too into detail about finding your kintype and how to do research and such because there is already a lot of information about that out there. I wish you all luck on your journeys to discover yourselves!

[cristinablackthornkingson]

New Story.

Hello everyone! Sorry for the lack of uploads lately, writing without my laptop is such a pain in the ass, hopefully when I get my new laptop I will be back posting at least once a week.

For now though I have written the first part of a new series I am starting about Jonathon not having demon blood and being raised with Clary. I am hoping to post the first part of this story tomorrow morning at 10:30 A.M GMT. In the meantime, please enjoy this little sneak peak!

When the baby is no longer clutched against Jocelyn's front, the swell of her stomach is immediately obvious. She must be about 6 months pregnant. Tessa's heart goes out to her. Jocelyn is clearly very young and is going to be a single mother to two very young children, it will not be easy for her.

"It seems you forgot to tell us something." Magnus calmly says.

Jocelyn places a protective hand over her stomach and quietly says

"I came here about my son, I know for a fact that he has the sight and more, but this baby might not."

"Have you had any medical care throughout your pregnancy?" Tessa asks in a concerned tone. Jocelyn shakes her head, her red hair falling into her eyes.

"No, I knew I was pregnant right after the uprising when I began to have all the same symptoms I had with my son. I know no mundane doctors I could go to and I will not go to The Silent Brothers." Jocelyn firmly says.

"Would you allow me to have a friend set you up with a mundane midwife? My friend Catarina Loss works at the local hospital, she can organise for you to have care there and you could deliver the baby there." Tessa asks in a hopeful tone. Going for 6 months without any pre-natal care is extremely dangerous, especially with all the stress Jocelyn has been is bound to have been under lately.

Jocelyn is quiet for a moment, before she reluctantly nods and says

"Yes alright."

"Who's going to look after the kid when you give birth? You mentioned your best friend, is he around to help?" Magnus asks. He isn't about to offer to watch Valentine's son, but prehaps Catarina could arrange child care for Jocelyn.

"No, its just me and my son, and the baby." Jocelyn says. She hasnt thougth about who will watch her son while she is in labor, it has been the last thing on her mind lately.

"I could watch him, I promise not to do any magic or anything around him, I live not far from here, I could watch him at my home or yours, whatever you're comofortable with." Tessa offers, wanting to help out as much as she can.

"I..." Jocelyn hesitaes, looking from her son to Tessa.

"Its not as though you have anyone else to help out." Magnus points out.

"I understand why you are hesitant, we are strangers, but over the next few months you could get to know me and I you, little Jonathan here could get to know me too, I can help you at anytime, I had two children and plenty of grandchildren, great-grandchildren and so on, I am extremely expierenced in caring for children of all ages." Tessa explains.

"Okay... thank you." Jocelyn queitly says.

[dogtrainingscoop]

Puppy Cries In Crate At Night — Puppy Crate Training

Have you had a puppy at home for a short time or are you thinking of adopting one? So when Puppy Cries In Crate At Night, the first thing you should know is that the puppies are separated from their mother between the first 2 and 3 months of life, when they are weaned and when they start eating alone. Although sometimes it is customary to separate them before, it remains the wrong way.

In the first days of separation, both from its mother and perhaps from its brothers and father, it is natural for the cub to sometimes be restless, insecure, anxious, Puppy Cries In Crate At Night, etc. This is usually the case on long nights of crying, moaning and barking that will not let you rest, because no one likes to see your puppy like that. The pup will spend the first few days to adapt, usually about a week, until he gets used to the new environment and will then be more relaxed at night. However, it is also true that a puppy can be crying at night for more reasons. It is essential to ascertain the cause of him crying, try to solve the problem that bothers your puppy. In addition, it is equally important that he start adapting from day one.

In this article we will explain to you what to do if your puppy cries in crate at night. Read on to learn the possible reasons that can make your puppy cry at night and learn how you can help him.

You may also be interested: Crate Training

Steps to follow when Puppy Cries In Crate At Night:

1.Puppy Cries due to Pain or Health Problems:

When you notice that your little hairy friend doesn’t sleep, complains, cries in crate at nights and even barks, the first thing you should do is make sure it’s not due to pain or health problems. If you believe it can be his health, you’ll have to take him to the vet and try explain to him what’s going on, so that he can eliminate any pain or health issues.

It may also happen that your bed or house is located in a place where it is very cold or hot, or maybe there’s a lot of noise in the area, and then puppy cries in crate at night. What you can do is make sure that the temperature is right for your puppy, if it’s pleasant for you or even a little warmer. Also make sure there’s not too many noises coming from the street or from the neighbors. If so, you can close the windows, offer him a little dog crate instead of an open bed, or change his sleeping place to a quiet room perhaps.

Although the previous reasons are usually the most common, there are other reasons that can cause it, and then puppy cries in crate at night. These can be excess food, so you should give him dinner an hour before going to sleep and not too much. It can also be a lack of exercise during the day, if he’s got excess energy and aren’t really tired, he will not sleep, so try to tire him out before he goes to bed. Try to develop a daily routine that provides you with everything you need.

2. Puppy Cries — Struggling to Adapt:

Once we have covered the specific needs we mentioned in point, we made sure that the cries and barking of the puppy are not due to health problems, temperature, noise, too much food or lack of exercise and routine, then you may have to check if Puppy is simply just struggling to adapt to the new environment.

As we mentioned, he doesn’t understand why he’s suddenly no longer with his mother. So you should help him understand that it’s a safe environment, care for him with affection and without missing anything that he needs. This is only achieved with patience, time and positive reinforcement. It usually takes at least a week to start getting comfortable and calm at night. Next, we’ll show you some things you can do to stop your puppy from crying during this process, making the process easier and quieter.

3. Puppy Cries due to Comfort:

It will be good to take the little one home for the first time in the morning, so he’ll have more hours to discover his new home and start getting used to it, which won’t be possible to do if you take him home at night.

Something very important you must fulfill is to try by all means not comfort him every time he cries. If you do, he will realize that he get’s your attention and from there on he will do so when he wants something from you. We know it’s hard, but it’s best to let him cry a little to see that nothing bad or serious really happens to him. Also, do not let him climb onto the sofa or bed to comfort him. If you do, then it’s going to be harder for him to understand that he can’t go up to these places anytime he wants to.

4. Puppy Cries — Smell, Hearing & Other Senses Important

Make sure that your bed or house is suitable for him, and his little area is well located in the house and that he has toys to bite and play with, to entertain him until he fall asleep.

You can leave him one of your T-shirts, so he’ll get used to it and also help him relax. Besides this, if it’s possible to organize, it would be nice to have a piece of cloth with his mother’s smell. An example of this could be a piece of towel or blanket that his mother had in the crate or den in which she raised her puppies.

5. When Puppy Cries — Warm Up His Bed

Another option to prevent your puppy from crying at night is to warm up his bed before going to sleep. You can use a hairdryer or place a bag of hot water under the blanket or bed, preventing the dog from having direct contact so as not to burn him. This will comfort him, until now he was used to sleeping with his mother and brothers, together creating a warm den.

It is not advisable to use an electric blanket, since he could be electrocuted or he could be burning from the heat, therefore it is best to use a hot water bag that’s covered with a blanket or a towel.

6. Prevent Puppy Cry — Use a Clock

It is advisable to place an analog clock near his bed or crate. If you succeed, it’s best to put it under the bed or blanket where it would be easier to hear. Upon hearing the ticking of the clock, the dog will associate it with the beating of his mother’s heart. This constant pace will keep him reassured and comfortable.

7. Puppy Keeps Crying — Resort to Vet

If all else fails, and nothing works and it continues without you knowing what to do for your puppy, you can talk to your veterinarian to prescribe you some medicine with pheromones. They come in different formats, which you can place as close as possible to the dog’s bed, or onto collars. They usually lasts several weeks. This smell that we don’t realize will remind you of your mother and calm you down.

If you want to read more articles similar to What to do if my dog cries at night, we recommend you check out the following section.

Dog Problems..??? We have a Solution for You….

So you’re reading this page because your dog is doing something you don’t like — some behavior you want him to do differently — or simply stop doing:

😩 Housebreaking “accidents”

😩 Barks too much

😩 Jumps on people

😩 Chews on your hands

😩 Constantly seeks attention

😩 Pulls on the leash

😩 Aggressive toward people or other dogs

😩 Chews on the furniture or your belongings

😩 Did I mention housebreaking “accidents”

The list goes on???

“How can I stop my dog from….?”

One of the most common questions dog owners ask me is: “How can I stop my dog from (doing some specific behavior problem)?”

But before you start pulling your hair out, take a moment to step back. Yep, you’re probably not in your neighbor’s good books right now. No, you’re not going to be able to let the problem go on forever. And sure, you might have some work in front of you.

But this is do-able.

When a dog jumps or barks, it’s for a reason. Understand that reason, and you’re already well on your way to finding a solution.

So, let’s cut to the chase. If you’re sick of questioning his behavior problems, it’s time to find out exactly what you can do to put an end to both.

WATCH VIDEO: Discover How To Quickly Stop This Behavior Using Simple, Yet Highly Effective Exercises…

(video will open in a new window) Watch The Video

Puppy Cries In Crate At Night: Causes and Solutions

Although they mainly use body language (nonverbal) to communicate, dogs can emit various sounds to express their moods and emotions. In addition to barking, crying is one of those sounds that dogs usually emit to communicate with their tutor and also with other dogs and animals.

But let’s face it, a crying and howling dog usually causes a lot of distress and can cause serious problems with the neighborhood. In addition, crying can be a symptom that the puppy feels pain or is sick and needs to be attended by a veterinarian.

For all this, it is very important to be aware if your dog cries to quickly identify the cause and know how to act to help him. In this article we will explain what are the main causes and possible solutions for a crying puppy. Keep reading!

1. Crying Puppy: Causes and What to Do

As is also the case with barking, dog crying can have many meanings, since dogs cry to express different emotions, moods or moods that can develop in various circumstances of their daily life. Therefore, to know why if you have a crying dog, it is essential to pay attention to the context (or situation) in which this crying occurs.

Next, we’ll explain the main causes for a crying dog and you’ll know what you can do to prevent excessive crying from harming your best friend’s health, the tranquility of your home, or living with neighbors.

2. Puppy Crying when Left Alone: How to Avoid

Your dog cries a lot when he’s home alone? This usually happens when a dog has not learned to manage its own loneliness. So when you go out to work or do any other activity, your best friend finds himself “overwhelmed” by negative emotions such as sadness, stress or fear. In more extreme cases, the puppy may even suffer from separation anxiety,which includes behavior problems such as excessive crying and the urge to destroy furniture and other household objects.

Naturally, dogs are sociable animals that live and feel safer in communities (herds, families, groups, for example). Therefore, they do not like to be alone at home and need to learn how to manage loneliness so as not to suffer symptoms of stress or other negative emotions harmful to their health.

To avoid a dog crying a lot, barking or howling when you are alone at home, we advise you to enrich your environment with toys, intelligence games, bones and / or biters so that it has fun while you are not. Also remember to walk with your pet before going out and respect the feeding times, to prevent him from being hungry during his absence. Even so, it is not advisable to leave a dog alone at home for more than 6 or 7 hours in a row.

3. Puppy Crying and Shaking: What it Means

If in addition to crying, your dog also trembles,this may be a symptom that you feel pain or some discomfort derived from a disease or imbalance in your body. Remember that a dog can tremble because it is afraid, because it feels vulnerable or unsafe. Therefore, an adult puppy or a puppy crying in pain need to go to the vet to be examined and rule out any health problems.

However, if your dog lives outside the house, it is also possible that he cries and trembles at feeling cold. To avoid a cold or canine flu,it is very important to provide a small house or covered refuge where your dog can conserve heat and protect itself from weather adversities such as wind or rain. But if winter is too cold in the region where you live, the ideal is to let your dog sleep indoors.

In addition, a crying and trembling dog may also be afraid that it is not yet fully adapted to its new home. This can happen if you adopted a pet a short time ago, especially if it is still a puppy. Remember that adapting any dog to a new home is a slow and gradual process. As a tutor, it is essential to know how to favor this process and make the new member feel safe and welcome to their home from day one.

4. Puppy Crying at Night: What to Do

If you just adopted a puppy, it’s possible that your new pet cries a lot for the nights. This occurs very often when the adopted puppy was separated from the mother before weaning naturally and beginning to feed alone, which happens around its third month of life.

This prematurely weaned puppy is likely to have a weaker immune system and will get sicker. In addition, it may present serious learning and socialization difficulties, which ends up facilitating behavior problems, such as excessive crying or barking.

Therefore, it is very important to wait for the puppy to wean naturally to separate it from its mother and siblings. However, if for some reason you had to adopt a newborn dog, it is critical to provide proper nutrition and care to strengthen the immune system. It is also essential to offer a positive and tranquil environment where your dog feels safe to rest, develop body and mind. Also, you can check out our tips to prevent your dog from crying at night.

However, a newborn puppy crying a lot may also be experiencing pain or discomfort associated with some illness or health problem. Then again we recommend taking the puppy to the veterinarian to confirm the cause of this intense crying. Also take advantage of consultation with professional to ask all questions about the nutrition and vaccination of puppies.

In elderly dogs, it is possible that crying is related to cramps or muscle problems that usually occur more frequently during nights, especially when it is cold. So be sure to also know the essential care for an elderly dog that will help you offer a great quality of life to your best friend.

5. My Puppy Cries a Lot: What Can I Do

Some If you have already taken your dog to the vet and ruled out the previous causes, then you will need to pay more attention to your dog’s education. Often, tutors end up reinforcing some inappropriate behaviors of dogs unconsciously. For example, imagine that when your puppy was a puppy, you used to give him a snack so he’d stop crying. If this situation repeats itself several times, your dog may assimilate that it wins a prize each time it cries. Then you can start crying to get some snack or other reward, like going out for a walk, playing, or just getting your attention. This is called unconscious dressage and is much more common than you might think.

To prevent this from happening, it is very important that you understand how to properly use positive reinforcement in the education of dogs. In addition, to prevent behavior problems, such as crying and excessive barking, it is essential to educate and socialize your puppy from the first stages of life, when he is still a puppy. However, it is also possible to dress and socialize an adult dog,always with a lot of patience, affection and constancy.

Always remember that it is easier, safer and more effective to prevent inappropriate conduct in a puppy than to correct them in an adult puppy. So be sure to check out our tips for educating dogs in a positive way.

People Also ask — About Puppy Cries In Crate At Night:

How long will puppy cry in crate at night:

When doing crate nap training with your pup, wake him up after 15 minutes of sleep. To get rid of excess energy, play enough, then put your pup back in the crate for some more sleep. You don’t have to wait until your pup cries before you react, and if they do cry, try to not open the crate until they stop.

How long is normal for a puppy to cry when left alone:

Some studies have shown that the majority of puppies left alone at home for up to 60 minutes did not show stress related behaviors, and the puppies that did get stressed however did improve with practicing being alone. Please take note that the case studies were for a maximum of one hour. Longer periods of isolation were not necessary good for puppies.

Puppy still crying at night after 3 weeks:

When puppy cries in crate at night, it’s best to actually train your pup to accept being in the crate. Some pup’s do just fine with going into their crate, sometimes crying for a minute (or not at all), and quickly learning to accept their crate time without problems.

Other pup’s require a slower approach gradually and it sounds like your pup is one of them. I know some people will recommend just ignoring any crying or barking no matter how long it may continue — honestly if someone does that for a week or a month and the issue does not disappear, they should understand that it’s not the best way to train a pup or otherwise it would have worked much sooner.

Please have a look at the crate training guide for more information. Follow a gradual plan to condition your pup, important to have a positive association with spending time in his crate. It’s important that your puppy develop the ability to feel relaxed and calm in the crate in different scenarios — when sleeping at night, sleeping in the crate during the day when you are around, also while awake in the crate when you are home (example when you are busy cleaning the kitchen), and then also being in the crate while you are not around.

Try to really step up the daytime crate training, by using a number of predefined steps. It’s very important that you put your pup on a schedule where he is awake and playing for an hour (you will need to be playing & exercising with him) and then let him go into his crate (with the door closed) for 1–2 hour sleeping. You can ignore crying or whining for the first few minutes, it can be normal and he may just need to settle down first, until he’s used to the routine. If he cries longer than a few minutes, you might need to back up a bit, but still stay next to the crate until he settles down. It’s better to focus on more support than on less, you want to speed up his acceptance of his crate.

Full list of all our FREE PUPPY TRAINING LESSONS HERE

#PuppyCriesInCrate

#PuppyCriesAtNight

#HowToCrateTrainPuppy

#CratingAPup

#PuppyCrateTraining

[intheheartofthematter]

(Source: anxietyproblem via psych2go)

And, sometimes when you ask for help, you don’t receive it. Like when I asked my mom for help with my brother, when he was out of control, while I was caring for my aunt just out of the hospital, and after coming down and not able to deal with it herself, her response was, “Grow up and take responsibility! He’s your brother!” And left and went back to her carefree life. Or, you have no one left to turn to...

Some crucial information concerning my future survival:

I was given a preliminary diagnosis of Multiple sclerosis; symptom presenting/observation upon a thorough examination, extensive rule-out blood work/testing. My use of MS meds is improving my condition, although I’m currently presenting in the second stage of Relapsing-remitting MS with neurological symptoms, which could develop into Secondary progressive MS, and later Primary progressive MS, especially if left untreated. Not to mention other debilitating conditions such as, PTSD, past heart attacks, age-related decline. This is not told to cause concern or switch the focus back to me… just chatting so it’s out in the open, and if you ever wonder what pills I’m taking; Baclofen 20mg (one of the meds prescribed). 

I keep a small notebook of the times doses are taken and record symptoms. The pills were given to see if any improvement was made with use. It was. Significantly over time, too. But, I’m still symptomatic and at times the pain or symptoms are worse, what I guess they call flare-ups. I need to seek medical care again before my prescription runs out in May, if out of state, and possibly switch to a different medication or increase the dosage I’m on now, sooner. As far as I know, 20 mg is the highest pill dose, but I’ve read some people take two or 30 mg, more 10 mg pills per bottle. Whatever. I hope to work it out and to be able to control symptoms or slow progression so I can work at least part-time the next 5 years to survive (see below).

(For me and anyone): In order to qualify for SSDI (disability), you had to have worked at least 5 years out of the last 10 years. (It doesn’t matter to our government that I started working in 1980, since I was 16 years old, minus a few years.) Anyway, any savings or assets do not disqualify you. Median payment is $1100. Future work, even part-time work, will qualify you if earnings exceed around $6,000 annually, and you must earn a work credit each quarter within those 5 years. Self-employment will earn you work credits, as long as you pay the proper tax.

If you become disabled and don’t qualify for SSDI you can apply for SSI. But, in order to qualify for SSI, you have to meet low-income criteria. Basically, be dirt-poor, and have no more than $2,000 worth of assets total; however, you may own one home and one car (wildcards). Median payment is only $600 (that number sounds low, and could be off, but I know it basically leaves you poverty-stricken). You can work (if able), but anything earned over $755 per month is deducted from your SSI and in some cases different deductions are made in some formula. Therefore, to work while on SSI you’re only receiving a minimal amount more per month, and at what cost to your health and recovery if you have a qualifying disability?

In order to qualify for early retirement social security, you must be almost 63 years old (early retirement is 62, but you have to account for at least 6 months of that year, depending on the year you were born) and SS will be decreased by at least 25%. Median payment is still barely enough to survive on. 

SO, in order to survive, I’d have to split rent with someone, or buy a cheap house (impossible) or condo while I can, with low HOA dues, because they will be raised over time and I will need to be able to cover the cost, including property taxes and homeowners insurance, with a low income, and still afford medication, food, utilities, (forget about cable/anything extra). If renting, I can waive pet rent for at least one cat if officially certified an ESA, depending on rentors’ flexibility on the issue. My desired destination’s cost of living now is lower than in CA. I’d benefit from moving out of state in the long run. If for medical reasons I can’t work at least part-time the next 5 years, or establish a home-based business to survive, where I can work my own hours as able when not in a type of MS flare-up vs. work performance suffering or too many call-outs possibly occurring to lose any outside job, I’d have no choice but to rely on SSI alone (poverty level assets only, to qualify & survive on). I was hoping to at least get us set up (T & Alexandria too), while I can financially (barely), to have a home to rely on with minimal costs vs. rent. I have to formulate a potential disability and retirement plan and it has to all be planned out efficiently or I have no real chance of above poverty survival on my own. 

FYI, I think T & Alexandria are possibly making other plans without me now. T doesn’t fully grasp the concept of this nor really know of my diagnosis... just that it’s a possibility. Hopefully, it’s a manageable condition for me, because my family doesn’t care, and since they think I won’t be able to care for them anymore, I’m not wanted around here. Also, because they don’t want to have to care for me, if it ever comes to that. Yes, it was said to me, they don’t want to have to care for me. My mom’s words, “Tough. You’re an adult. You’ll figure it out.”

You’re right, mom. I’ll figure it out on my own, my only option.

Needless to say, I have a lot on my mind... and trying not to let my disbelief and hurt hit hard or give up on everything entirely.

I’m fine for now & don’t want to think about it... back to you :)

[dancesontheedge]

Mercy Street Timeline

Link to an 1862 calendar, for days of the week and visualization purposes

MAY 1862 1.01-1.05, though Mary’s interview with Miss Dix may have occurred at the end of April.

    1st-- The date on James Green’s newspaper in 1.01, which discusses the death of Mary Todd Lincoln’s Confederate half-brother.  This paper is several days old.

     5th-- The date of the Battle of Williamsburg, the news of which arrives at the end of 1.01.  

     5th or 6th-- Mary arrives, and the action of 1.01 occurs, depending on how quickly news travels.  

     6th or 7th-- 1.02 occurs the day after Mary’s arrival

     8th-- The Battle of McDowell, where Ezra was injured.  He was not brought directly to Mansion House.

     11th to 16th-- Most likely dates for action of 1.03.  Given allowances for travel times and a stay in a different hospital, earliest date of arrival for Ezra is the 11th. Given my estimate for 1.04, the 16th would be the latest time Ezra could have arrived, as Jed has at least a week’s worth of withdrawal symptoms in his notebook.

    15th-- Battle of Drewry’s Bluff/Proctor’s Creek, referenced by Frank in 1.04 as the most recent Confederate victory.

   20th to 25th-- Most likely dates for action of 1.04.  There was no Confederate victory between May 15 and May 23. The 23rd is Friday, the 24th is Saturday, and the 25th is Sunday, and a ball is more likely to be held on a weekend.  The beginning of the episode, with Frank’s reference to Drewry’s Bluff, probably happened a different day than the end of the episode and the party, because I doubt they would do all the preparing for the ball in just one day (though Emma doesn’t change clothes until the ball). It is also possible Frank does not have the latest news on Confederate victories, which could put him not knowing about Front Royal until a couple days after it happened. Aurelia is said to be “5-6 weeks along” and the earliest possible time for her impregnation is May 6th. But of course, pregnancy is calculated from the period prior to the missed one, so...

   23rd-- Battle of Front Royal, Confederate victory referenced in 1.05 by Jane Green while cutting roses

   25th-- Battle of Winchester, Confederate victory referenced in 1.05 by Jane Green while cutting roses

   26th-- most likely date for action of 1.05, which takes place immediately after 1.04.

JUNE 1862 1.06 appears to take place over the course of the entire month of June over the course of three days, nonconsecutive. Day one could have occurred any time between June 1st and June 25th.  Mercy Street appears to have fussed with the command timelines some, Colonel Sinex was the Provost Marshal of Alexandria until late August; Colonel Gregory, who is said to replace him on the show sometime in June, was the Military Governor of that city concurrent with Sinex’s service (That is, late April to late August, 1862). Also in that link is information on the slave pen prison and a fugitive slave case similar to the one Mrs. Foster could have drawn against Miles.

    27th-- Union retreat to Harrison’s Landing, part of the Seven Days’ Battle.  

    28th-- Most likely date for Jimmy to bring word of Harrison’s Landing to his father in prison on day two of the episode.  Also the date it is discovered that Bullen sold the chloroform.  Will not have any more until approximately July 12, assuming Bullen’s estimate of two weeks is accurate.  Three days until Lincoln’s visit.

JULY-AUGUST, 1862 1.06-2.04(?). July was a quiet month in the way of battles, so the dates on the first half of season 2 are more shaky than those in season 1. 2.01 takes place over the course of 3 days, nonconsecutive.  The most likely place for a massive time lapse is here (you’ll see why we need one).  2.02 and 2.03 take place over the course of 1 day each, though 2.03 may be two days with the time lapse occurring between Emma’s return to the Green Mansion and the stirring of Dr. Hale.  We do run into some timeline issues in season 2 in that the action of the entire season appears to take place over the course of approximately 1-1.5 months when the battles used as benchmarks are significantly more spread out.  Dates suggested by storyline reckoning will be denoted by italic dates; dates suggested by battle dates reckoning (BDR) will be left in plain text, as will battle dates.  BDR dates for episodes 2.01 and 2.02 will be worked backwards from known battle data for 2.03, as they do not contain any battle information.

JULY

   1st-- Seven Days’ Battle ends with the Battle of Malvern Hill.  Peninsula Campaign draws to a rapid close with a Confederate victory.  Union Army in retreat. Date of Lincoln’s visit to the hospital. Day three of 1.06, day one of 2.01.

   4th to 8th-- Most likely day for second day of 2.01, beginning with Charlotte’s arrival.  Gives Lincoln a couple of days to sign Executive Order releasing James Green and for James to return home; for Bullen to recover enough to become conscious; for the paperwork on Summers’ promotion to go through. Jed refers to their kiss at the end of day one as ��the other evening,” implying that it occurred fairly recently.

    13th--  Battle of Murfreesboro results in a Confederate victory in Tennessee.  Mrs. Green references it in 2.03 when comforting the wounded Confederate.  There are no other Confederate victories until August 9.

  15th to 17th-- Most likely dates for third day of 2.01, begins with McBurney’s arrival.  Typhoid progresses to rosy spots and soon-to-be fainting spells approximately one week after infection.  During Mary and Jed’s argument, Jed says it has been “Many days” since their conversation at the end of day 2.

   21st-- Date of 2.02. On day three of 2.01, Samuel says his boat north leaves on “Tuesday next” and 2.02 takes place the day before that.  The 22nd was a Tuesday.

  22nd to 24th-- Most likely dates for 2.03.  At the very least opens on the 22nd, with Emma leaving her vigil at Mary’s bedside from 2.02.  Mary in midst of week 2 typhoid symptoms.  Surprise is expressed over Samuel’s continued presence, but nobody asks him if he will miss his barge north, so it may not be taking place entirely the 22nd.  Gives adequate time for Jane Green to hear of a victory in Tennessee on the 13th.

    23rd to 25th-- Action of 2.04 most likely occurs (starting whichever day is immediately after 2.03), as it is stated that Lisette and Jed see each other for the first time in the US in this episode.  She is still wearing her clothes from 2.03 and came to the hospital specifically to find Jed; she would not let it take long.  Certainly not a whole month.

    29th to 31st-- Latest possible dates for third day of 2.01.  Rosy spots and fainting spells are both part of the second week of typhoid symptoms, so too many days cannot pass between the end of 2.01 and 2.02.  The 29th is a Tuesday, so for Samuel’s schedule, “Tuesday next” would be the 5th.  Though Jed does not strike me as one given to dramatic understatement, he may have been using that here with “many days,” as this is almost a full month since their argument at the end of day 2.

AUGUST    

    31st to 2nd-- Most likely day for action of 2.05, British Emissary arrives one week after James’ trip to Richmond where he says the man will be staying with him starting “next week.”  He is to stay approximately one week and leaves prematurely.

    4th-- Latest possible and so most likely date of 2.02

    5th to 7th-- Latest possible and so most likely dates for 2.03, still allows for Samuel’s boat to be set to leave on a Tuesday, as  August 5th was a Tuesday.  See rationale for date range in “July 22nd to 24th” section.  2.03 *must* occur before Monday, August 11th, or Jane Green’s battlefield news is *significantly* outdated. Though it does seem foolish to presume the Confederate she is speaking to hasn’t heard of a three week old battle, Jane’s purpose is to comfort him so she may have decided it would help to repeat good news, especially since no less than 3 Union victories have occurred since July 13.

    9th-- Battle of Cedar Mountain, next Confederate victory after Murfreesboro.  Also the first battle in Virginia since July 1.  Not mentioned in the show.

    25th to 27th-- Battle of Manassas Station Ops. Fighting around Manassas begins, Confederate victory.  Not mentioned in an episode.

   28th to 30th-- Second Battle of Bull Run, fighting around Manassas continues, Confederate victory.  In description of 2.04, this is described as taking place prior to the action of that episode, though is not mentioned in the text of the episode.

SEPTEMBER 1862 2.04?-2.06.  At last we have decisive dates again, for 2.05 and 2.06 at least.  Convention from previous section will continue until we finish with 2.04. 2.05 takes place over the course of one day, though it feels like several.  2.06 takes place over the course of two days.  The BDR timeline appears to work cohesively with the text for 2.04-2.06; the disconnect is between 2.03 and 2.04, where even the latest battlefield dates necessitate approximately one month between the two episodes, where the text of the episode suggests a time lapse of 3 days or less between them.

    1st-- Battle of Chantilly, which Jed says occurs 10 days before 2.05

    5th-- Lee’s first invasion into Maryland begins, earliest date for fighting to occur at Germantown, Maryland-- where our darling Camilla’s regiment lays dying without aid and where Henry and Emma travel in 2.04.

   6th to 9th-- Most likely dates for action of 2.04, which takes place over 2 days, consecutive (which dates depend on travel time and when exactly Germantown saw action).  I’m leaning toward the sixth, because James says that the British Envoy will stay with them “next week.” Hospital appears to still be reeling from loss of Mary, and Anne is only just receiving the temporary head nurse position, despite Mary having left the hospital almost one month before, by the latest possible dates.

    11th-- Action of 2.05, per Jed’s mention of Chantilly.  5 days after the 6th, so “next week” from James’ trip to Richmond and the day the British Envoy arrives, intended to stay approximately one week.

    17th-- Battle of Antietam ends Lee’s first invasion of Maryland.

    19th-- Lincoln issues Preliminary Emancipation Proclamation.  This day makes far more sense than the 21st for the action of the first day of 2.06 for the following reasons: the current newspaper at the end of the episode is dated with the 19th, the British Emissary would absolutely have the latest news (is implied to have arrived direct from DC at the end of the episode) and would refuse to spend even a night in the house of a man who defends slavery, the 19th was a Friday and Belinda’s man George goes to market “Every Tuesday and sometimes on Friday”

    21st-- Per episode title card, first day of 2.06, closes with James Green reacting to the Preliminary Emancipation Proclamation.

    22nd to 24th--  Second day of 2.06.  Uncertain how many days passed since end of first day, though certainly not more than a week or so.  23rd is Tuesday, so Belinda and George would absolutely be meeting in the market on that day.  Almost certainly the 23rd.

If you disregard the battle timeline data from 2.03 (ie: that Murfreesboro is the most recent Confederate victory) and work backwards, the timeline works much better.  The only questionable remaining dates are the absolutely MASSIVE time lapses in 2.01, which dates, from language used, appear to have taken place relatively close together.  The *only* way it makes sense for Mary to have been “beguiled” only once by Jed is for day 2 to take place relatively soon after day 1.  There’s a lot more leeway between day 2 and day 3 as Mary was studiously avoiding Jed, but it seems unlikely that it would take more than a month for the day 3 confrontation.  Based on the text (disregarding all battlefield data) there appears to be approximately 15 days between the end of 2.01 and the end of 2.05.  If we assume that the Emissary stayed for approximately one week (as projected at the beginning of 2.05), it’s 25 days maximum between the end of 2.01 and the end of 2.06 (which puts the end of 2.01 smack in the middle of 2nd Bull Run, if you were wondering).  I knew there was a reason season 2 felt so much more rushed than season one; they left out the time lapses in the storytelling, but not in the historical data!

[digestinol]

Travel and Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)

It seems that many believe that once the pandemic is over, everyone is going to want to travel….somewhere! Doesn't matter where, as long as its somewhere new, and somewhere away from home! And we couldn't agree anymore...We've been hibernating for months, so a nice, little vacation, even if it’s a 3 day weekend will do us all very good. And even if you suffer from Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) or any other digestive disease, you should also make a point to let nothing stop you from getting away and have some fun with family and friends too.  That is as long as it is safe to do so. 

On one of our last articles, we shared with you 10 best kept secrets for traveling with IBS. Today, we'll add 10 more, to give you even more ideas and more confidence that you can also have that great vacation with peace of mind. 

1. No cheating prior to your trip 

It’s your brother's birthday and he made spicy chicken wings for his party. Even if you are craving some of these, you should have brought your own meal, because you know that in just a week you are going to an amazing travel destination. 

With that being said, don't cheat and mess up your healthy diet. The last thing that you'll want is to have flare ups right before the trip and no one wants to leave town in the middle of a flare-up. 

2. Cooking while traveling? I thought I was on vacation! 

While staying at a beautiful hotel is nice, nothing is going to bring you more peace of mind, than booking a suite with a small kitchen. Imagine the convenience of making your favorite home-cooked meals, which you know will do your body so good.

It’s invaluable to say the least, especially if you are on a strict diet.

You can still try new restaurants, but we suggest making your own meals as much as you can for your body's most ultimate comfort.

Cook 4 portions a day, so that you have for 2 days and put them in the freezer. Also, it might be convenient to bring some tupperware if you want your food on the go, while visiting the town.

If suites are not available at the hotel, try different options, like vacation homes, Air B&B, etc.

Not only may the rooms might be bigger and cozier, you would possibly have your own room, instead of sharing, but you'll also have a washer and dryer too. 

3. Parla Italiano? 

If you are traveling overseas, not everyone knows or speaks english and we can't expect them to do so either.

Knowing how to ask for the bathroom or what you can’t eat and being able to explain it in any language is the key to comfortable travel with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). Be prepared to learn a little bit of the language from the country you'll be visiting.

Key phrases like these can be very helpful: 

• Where is the closest bathroom?

• Left or Right?

• How far is the bathroom?

• Please, no onions on my meal

• Please, no spicy

• Do you sell bottled water?

• Thank you 

You can write these down on recipe cards and take them along with you on your trip to show the waiters.

Also, do some research into the local food (and how they call it) before you leave, to get an idea of what you can and cannot eat. 

4. Be App Friendly 

Don't be afraid of using apps. They can make your life so much easier and stress free!

Get an app for your smartphone or tablet that helps locate bathrooms around the world, including free ones like Sit or Squat (the app designates clean bathrooms as “sit” and less-clean ones as “squat”) or Toilet Finder, which lists more than 70,000 public restrooms. 

To make it even more convenient, there's also translation apps, which immediately convert what you want to say in the language of your choice. Not only can you use these with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) related troubles, but for just about anything, like figuring out when the next train comes or where can you buy an umbrella, etc? 

5. Don’t ignore symptoms 

One of our clients told us she was in Mexico and needed to use the restroom right away.

She was right in front of a little coffee shop, which had a sign that said: "Restroom only for Clients".

She had 3 water bottles in her purse, but she thought outside the box and purchased another bottle from the coffee shop, which gave her immediate access to their restroom.

When you feel your Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) acting up, don’t just ignore it, do something about it so you can continue with your daily itinerary just fine. You may have to adjust your diet and take the day a bit slower. 

In some cases, even if your friends stay out in the town and want to explore more, you may have to come back to the hotel to stay closer to a bathroom and even take a little nap to recuperate. But understand this is a much better option for you, so you can enjoy the rest of the days ahead. A little sacrifice can go a long way. 

6. No tempting, please! 

When traveling, it’s easy to be tempted to try different desserts and local foods, even wine and coffee, but do yourself a favor and even if your friends are tempting you, be firm and stick to your daily healthy diet. It’s not worth feeling miserable all day or night, or even worse, running to the bathroom every 20 minutes. You have to be smart and learn to say no, when needed.

Some people with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) may get away with 1 or 2 bites, but if you are in doubt, is better to stay away than being sorry later. 

7. New Bathroom Rules 

Did you know that in many countries, using the restroom is not complimentary? Always carry enough change in your purse, just in case, as many bathrooms are by pay-for-entry only. 

8. Be creative at lunch and dinner time 

Your family made reservations at this very popular restaurant, but you read the menu and know there's nothing for you to eat there. Be creative and make your own meal instead. You can look at the sides or ask your waiter for something basic, like rice and steamed vegetables. Most restaurants can also provide you with grilled chicken or a simple salad with your favorite toppings. Maybe you can add a soup of the day, but don't be shy to ask about the exact ingredients it may contain. 

This is where the phone translator app comes in very handy!  Also, if there are certain restaurants on the list of must visit locations while traveling, google online for their menus before you leave. It will save you time and hassle, and you can know right away what you'll have. Recipe cards are also helpful for writing the restaurant's name and the meal of your choice. 

9. Prepare for a possible flare-up on the road 

Don't forget to pack your medicine for your trip. These are just as important as taking your passport with you. 

Pack laxatives if you suffer from constipation. It’s also helpful to pack medicine that you know it does your body good for headaches, flu, fever, etc... It will save you a lot of time and you'll worry less if you have them handy in your suitcase or purse already. 

10. Good books for company 

In the event you are not feeling well and you have to miss a tour, don't blame yourself or get upset. This will only aggravate your symptoms and you don't need any more flare ups. Think positive and enjoy a day all to yourself in bed or balcony. 

A good book or magazine will be an ideal companion to keep you busy while being alone in your hotel room. Enjoy a warm bath and if you are feeling like walking a bit, go explore your beautiful hotel. Check out the pool area, gardens, lobby, etc...You can take very nice photos too, at your hotel. Many times, travelers are so busy while on tours that they barely spend time in their hotel and they miss its unique architecture and landscapes.  It will also be a good idea to check out your hotel restaurants and their menu to see what you'll enjoy for lunch or dinner later on. 

Digestinol 

Digestinol is an all-natural supplement that helps support and promote digestive health as well as support your immune system. Its biggest benefit is the ability to target and reduce inflammation within your digestive system. Inflammation along your digestive system is one of the main reasons for pain/discomfort associated with digestive disorders. It can help with both constipation as well as diarrhea, because it gets your body back to normal so the amount of fluid in your colon is regulated the way it should be. 

What is Digestinol?

Our product contains AMP (Aloe Mucilaginous Polysaccharides) which is an all-natural molecule found in the aloe vera plant. It is known to enhance the body’s immune system due to its anti-inflammatory, antioxidant, anti-bacterial and anti-viral properties. We have a 97-98% success rate reported from people who take Digestinol as directed for 90 days or longer. 

If you are not interested in prescription medications to treat your condition and prefer a more natural approach, Digestinol makes all-natural capsules that contain a very specific form of Aloe Polysaccharides to target the inflammation along your digestive tract. 

These capsules also provide your body with the nutrients that it is lacking in order to take back control of itself. Digestinol isn't just Aloe Vera powder, Aloe Vera (contains Aloein) which irritates your digestive system and can cause diarrhea. Digestinol undertakes very specific additional steps in order to remove the Aloein during their extraction process to focus on only the beneficial portions of the Aloe Leaf, the long chain Aloe Mucilaginous Polysaccharide molecules. 

Since Digestinol is 100% all-natural it doesn't bring along the side effects that other chemically based prescription medications have. We tell our customers to think of Digestinol as an all-natural digestive system specific vitamin that reduces inflammation and provides your body with specific nutrients that allow it to take back control of itself. 

Our Digestinol capsules will also help to balance the good and bad bacteria levels in your body allowing it to regain control of its normal operations.

 For more information, visit us at www.Digestinol.com or:

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/Digestinol

LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/digestinol-research-ba1651116

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Digestinol Blog – http://digestinol-blog-digestinol.com

Instagram - @Digestinol

Twitter - @Digestinol1

[wasalwaysagreatpickle]

Monday 14th March 1825

7 1/4

12 3/4

Came here, to Mrs B- [Barlow’s] room, at 8 20/60 – saw Jane off to school – from 8 3/4 to 10 10/60 wrote, read over, wafered and directed 3pp and the ends of a letter to my aunt, Shibden, - to thank my aunt for her last letter and my uncle for the remittance of £70 to Mrs B- [Barlow]’s agents Messers De Lisle [Janvier] and De Lisle London - said I had waited to be present at a seance at the Deaf and Dumb Institution on the 24th instead and should not therefore leave here till the 25 or 26th instead should, at all rates stay one day at Boulogne and 1 or 2 in London – letter 3pp and the 2 first crossed from IN [Isabella Norcliffe], Langton chiefly to repeat her request for ‘8 pounds of the small green dried oranges which come from Marseilles’ – she mentioned having heard from Miss V- [Vallance] an account of a most extraordinary mortality among the sheep in Kent – ‘they hear constantly of 1500 and 2000 being lost within 2 days the disease is the rot, and no cure had yet been discovered it is caused by the dampenings of the earth but does not appear to be the same kind as attacks over in Yorkshire, as they scarcely shew symptoms before they drop down and die and when opened the whole of the passages from the mouth to the liver is filled with small fish quite flat and 1/2 an inch long which injure the liver and cause their death they are thought to eat the spawn by feeding in damp and marshy land. Thousands of sheep and lambs have been lost within these last 3 weeks. It is said that this disease has just been discovered in heifers. Miss V- [Vallance] says that, if it continues, there will be almost a famine – meat is considerably advanced and all articles are very much higher – people will not purchase mutton ‘unless they ascertain from whence it comes and it is in some parts of East Kent prohibited entirely’ … in London I must not forget to hear a little girl of 4 years old, who plays on the harp most wonderfully. She is called the infant Lyra-Hart (Milne) has heard her and says it is astonishing she plays entirely by ear…

Just skimmed over my letter (from IN [Isabella Norcliffe]) and Mrs B- [Barlow] and I then set off at 11 35/60 to see the prison of the conciergerie at the Pal[ace] de Justice, it is only shewn from 10 to 12 to those who have tickets of admission – the chapel behind which is made the entrance to the formerly dark, damp cells when Marie Antoinette and the princess Elizabeth were confined separated only by a wall, though they did not know they were so near is therefore interesting the cells there now turned into an expiatory chapel, are particularly so - lighted and ventilated as they now are Mrs B- [Barlow] could still scarcely bear the cold damp floor – what must it have been during the revolution? – 

We next went to the bureau belonging to the Sainte chapelle and the archives, all which one of the clerks, who was writing there, very civilly shewed us the fine old architecture of the chapelle up to the windows is entirely hidden by the archives beautifully arranged on shelves partitioned into little square compartments having a remarkably neat appearance – A gallery all round divides the archives into 2 stories - the large painted glass gothic windows are magnificently fine – the finest in France there is a church underneath the chapelle in which by the way out the end of one of the tables, is the stone under which lies the poet Boileau but it is not shewn – it is filled with archives – From here, we ascended the winding staircase in one of the towers which brought to the suite of apartment or galleries whose walls are entirely lined with the archives of the parliament of Paris and the courts of legislation and judgement which succeeded it from the time of St Louis to nearly the present time – the archives of the last few years are arranged in one of the towers – the whole story in the roof of the building and the story immediately under this, are filled with these archives beautifully arranged according to their subjects and dates and in a state of excellent preservation – no damp can reach for all the shelves are placed at least a couple of feet from the walls – in the criminal part are ranged all the proceedings against all those who suffered death among the rest we noticed those against the famous robber Cartouche, against Raffian, and Damien who assassinated Louis XV, and of… the famous poisoner mentioned by Madame da Sweviné in her letters – our commis shewed us the very coat, white stock (like my Uncle’s at present) waistcoat and smalls, in which Damian committed the murder. He shewed us all the proceedings against Joan of Arc and the order of the Pope to have the square or Place at Rouen planted with trees in memory of poor Joan – 

He shewed us also the collection of letters written by some of the kings of France to the Parliament, among w[hi]ch we saw the autographs of Charles V, very good – Louis XI and Xii, bad; Henry ii, pretty well; Francis I, good; and Henry iV, written with a y, good – only one letter in the collection written by Henry iV - after this our commis shewed us the oldest [?] they have – 4 volumes 4[tomes] (in Latin), about a.d 1240 on temps de St Louis – the writing of this [parched] and for 2 or 3 centuries like that of our old papers in England of this time – but the writing we saw for a.d 1[6]00 and afterwards is really in what we should call a good, plain English hand of the present day – much more like English writing than what the French write now – For fear of accident, all the originals of the archives (on paper) are kept in one suite of rooms and copies of them all (on parchment) bound up in large 4[tome] volumes, in another suite – all the procès verbaux against all the victims of the revolution, are kept in cartons, arranged according to the dates – the process was short – a short printed form filled up pro re natâ in MS - anyone who suspected the loss of a friend in Paris during the revolution might ascertain the matter here – Mr Edwards, the book seller at H-x [Halifax] might know whether his brother was guillotined here or not. 

Our commis took us through one of the towns on to the roof of the building looking over the marché des fleures, for a remarkably fine view of the city – of Vincennes, Père la chaise etc. but it was so cold, Mrs B- [Barlow] could not bear it, and the man himself seemed as if he could not bear it much better – it was not he who could shew us the vaults under the grande salle where Louis ix had his kitchen, but we might see them by applying to the person who had charge of them – curved on account of their architecture – we gave our guide 3 francs for his patience and civility, went for a few minutes into the criminal court from which, being hot and crowded, we soon retired and went into the court of cassation – both good rooms – in the latter about 32 lawyers in their robes – about 28 sitting round the avocat general (attorney general) or his substitute – just spectation there and the room very hot – when we entered a man before the court for having written a romans said to have a tendency against religion and morality – to be imprisoned 3 months and fined 300 francs – then came another poor man a book seller, charged with surreptitiously selling a book forbidden prohibited by the police – when asked who was his avocat, the man said he thought his case so simple, he could be his own avocat, and said the little he had say apparently very well, though trembling and much inwardly agitated – however he told us he was condemned to 6 months imprisonment – it was for selling the 10th volume, I think, of some work giving an account of Napoleon in skile, etc – 

On going out met the Countesse de Fumel in the court, waiting with some ladies to get into the carriage – she took my hand and held it all the while, we returned I thought of doing much more, but Mrs B- [Barlow] finding herself so cold and tired yet she was quite knocked up we made the best of our way home to get back at 2 1/4 – she had a little hot broth and water and soon went to bed – the cold stone floors had given her cold and the hot court of cassation had brought on a bilious head ache – sat by her till 4 1/2 then went chez Hernandez Bouriat, pharmacien, rue du Bac, no 56, for a bottle such as I had before had of Planche – found he had charged me almost twice as much as he ought – 4/12 instead of 2/10 – How can one always guard against cheatery when it is practised at s[u]ch a respectable looking shop as this – and by a man professing to be druggist to the British embassy! – staring some at book shops and others did not get home till 5 3/4 – Dinner at 6 1/4 – Mrs B- [Barlow] sat up to dinner but went to bed directly afterwards and I wrote all the above of today – 

tired and unwell as she was on coming home she put my hand to queer as ssoon as she was lain down and I began to grubble and after a little her working I gave her the excitement I stood up to work her better and latterly looked at her as I was doing it she being nothing loth – 

Tea came at 7 3/4 but I was writing and Mrs B- [Barlow] was asleep, and we did not take it till 9 1/2 – Fine, cold, frosty day – F34° at 11am and 33° at 9 40/60 pm at which hour I had just done the above

Ɛ (two dots underneath) O (no dots)

[revpauljbern]

This week on Tumblr with Author and Web Pastor Paul J. Bern

A Symptom of American Implosion:

Our Broken and Rigged Voting System

by Pastor Paul J. Bern

For a website view, click here :-)

Now that the mid-term elections have come and gone, we the people – the voting electorate – have been reminded once again of two inescapable facts about America's voting system. These two facts have existed for longer than I have been alive, and I can assure you all that 63 years is plenty long enough. The first fact I'd like to state is that nearly half the country simply never makes it to the polls. In spite of the fact that there was record voter turnout for a mid-term election this time around – and that's always a good thing – still in all, only 61% of eligible voters cast ballots. Thirty-nine percent of eligible voters either didn't bother, or couldn't.

First, let me give an honorable mention to those who couldn't vote because they had to work. The vast majority of these individuals would have voted if they could, but their employment kept them from doing so. That's the nicest way I can think of to put that at the moment, but let's be realistic. The reason these workers can't take time off to go and vote is because they'd lose their jobs, or, because they make so little money as it is that losing as little as one hour's pay is more than they can bear. That, my dear readers, is an economic barrier to voting imposed on the masses by the wealthy business owners, most of whom tend to vote conservative. Working class folks, by and large, are independent or 'blue' voters who vote for 'blue' or progressive candidates. What better way for the wealthy to keep their congressional reps in Washington than to keep their employees from voting for the opposition?

On the other hand, we have those voters, the rest of the 39%, who simply don't bother. They think their vote doesn't matter, that it won't make any difference as far as fixing a broken government is concerned. So they either stay at home and play games on their computers or gaming consoles, hang out with friends and family, and a few just sit home and party all night long. I guess they must think their stupid games and their equally stupid buddies are more important than the broken world that everyone should be devoting all our time to fixing. I guess they must think it feels better to get drunk and stoned than it does to be a part of the solution, to be a part of humanity that's on the rise instead of settling for being victims of their circumstances. America is a country that's in serious trouble from a number of standpoints, and people who won't help fix America's problems make themselves little more than dead weight to the rest of us who really care. People who don't care leave holes in time.

The second fact of life that America must reconcile herself with is our election system is being gamed by the candidates on both sides, and there are many candidates who cheat and get away with it. This is nothing new – stories like this have circulated for as long as I've been alive. It is now an established fact, for example, that Bernie Sanders got cheated out of the Democratic nomination back in 2016. The local elections can be even worse. Here in Atlanta where I live, we had a case back in 2004 where a man who got elected sheriff of DeKalb county, Georgia was assassinated by a hit man hired by the opposing candidate. The loser of that election got life without parole. And just days ago, again here in Georgia, Democrat Stacy Abrams lost the governor's race to Brian Kemp, Georgia's Republican Secretary of State who waited until after the election to resign his post. That's because the Secretary of State is responsible for Georgia's elections. So Brian Kemp used his position as Georgia Secretary of State to ensure his election to the governor's mansion. Nicely done, Governor Kemp, way to shoe-horn your way into the top job in the state! Bravo (not).

To call this disheartening simply doesn't do it justice. Brian Kemp's former opponent, Stacy Abrams, has called off her campaign, but understandably refuses to concede. Accusing the governor-elect of cheating his way into office, Abrams has vowed to file a federal lawsuit charging “gross mismanagement of the entire election”. The apostle Paul wrote about circumstances similar to this during his own time. “The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means that you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers. Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the Kingdom of God?....” (1st Corinthians 6: 7-9) In this instance, Paul wrote about lawsuits among believers, but the same logic still applies. Why not rather be the loser than to cheat and win? Why not rather be defeated in the eyes of men and women while being victorious in the presence of the Lord?

But cheating during the elections is exactly what's been going on in America for at least the last six decades or more, and the Georgia governor's race is only the latest example. If our elections are broken, the people no longer have a voice. That's the ugly truth facing Americans today. The voice of the people is being silenced, and I offer the following excerpt from Yahoo Money News, Saturday November 17th, 2018 as proof: “Sen. Cindy Hyde-Smith (R-Miss.) appeared to endorse voter suppression during a campaign stop this month, saying efforts to undermine voting among liberals at certain colleges would be a “great idea.” “And then they remind me that there’s a lot of liberal folks in those other schools who maybe we don’t want to vote,” Hyde-Smith can be heard telling a small crowd of young people outside her campaign bus in a video taken Nov. 3 and posted on online Thursday. “Maybe we want to make it just a little more difficult. And I think that’s a great idea.” Hyde-Smith, who was appointed to the Senate in April following the retirement of Thad Cochran, faces Democrat Mike Espy in a Nov. 27 runoff election. The Trump-backed Republican also came under fire last weekend for apparent racist remarks, joking with a crowd about attending a public hanging.....”

If recently-elected, or appointed, public officials are saying things like this, it makes me wonder what those who are well-established might be saying among themselves. With talk like I just documented above, there's no telling what's being said, but you can be sure it's contemptuous of working people. That's us. Because of this, the American people have a big problem on their hands. They are no longer in control of their country. The government has been in the hands of the Shadow Government, a.k.a. the Deep State, ever since the assassination of president Kennedy back in 1963. I was 8 years old when Kennedy was killed, and I still remember his assassination quite clearly even to this day. It was as traumatic back then as 9/11 was when it occurred. And the country hasn't been the same since.

We have got to figure out a way to take our country back from these Deep State operators. The prophet Zechariah mentioned this in his prophecy for Judah, one of the 12 tribes of ancient Israel. “The idols speak deceit, diviners see visions that lie; they tell dreams that are false, they give comfort in vain. Therefore the people wander like a sheep oppressed for lack of a shepherd. My anger burns against the shepherds, and I will punish the leaders; for the Lord Almighty will care for his flock, the house of Judah, and make them like a proud horse in battle.” (Zechariah 10: 2-3) Those words were written nearly 2,600 years ago. Today, the 'lost tribes of Israel' are generally viewed by many theologians as the United States, which has the world's largest population of Jewish people. So these words can be just as easily applied to the USA today as they were to the ancient Kingdom of Israel back in Zechariah's day.

“The idols speak deceit” could be considered our televisions and computers (and let's not forget all those phones), and “diviners that see visions that lie”, could be all the phony preachers and bogus televangelists who preach the Word of God for profit. We also are stuck with a crop of leaders who lead for profit, putting their own self interests ahead of the country, as well as their own constituents. “My anger burns against the shepherds, and I will punish the leaders; for the Lord Almighty will care for his flock....” I warn you all solemnly as I have before, the United States of America is coming under judgment. The outrageous mistreatment of America's citizens by our leadership in politics, business and the clergy has infuriated Almighty God. The cries of those who just barely live from paycheck to paycheck have reached his ears, and He has, I am certain, much compassion for his people who work so diligently for so little. This situation cannot continue indefinitely. At some point, something's got to give. The only question remains, will our country survive what's coming? It won't take very long to find out. Pray for America!