#'sometimes i feel like another box you got to check off so you know you've done okay' made me want to scream

[ladyintree]

"do you remember the time you said you feel like a box that i just checked off? i do love you. but i've been using you. i resent you. it's not fair, you're not the one who hurt me, but i take it out on you." [i don't feel like you resent me.] "because i'm like a wind-up doll, turn my key and i'll tell you exactly what you wanna hear. i have denied myself and denied myself. i'm fine. i'm not hurt. and it has built up this rage inside of me."

[k-germsworld]

Supermarket Fantasy

Viviz Umji x M! Reader

1.4k words

I'm a cashier in a supermarket.  Supermarkets are small in size, but they have everything you need.  I live a repetitive life every day, either arranging goods or checking out, and sometimes I really want to quit this job.

Today was another boring day. I looked around the whole store, but there was no one.  And I finished all the new shipments, so this is the time for me to rest.  I sat behind the counter and played with my phone so that when customers came, I would be the first to see.  At this time, a super beautiful woman walked into our store.  My eyes haven't left from the moment she stepped into the store.

This beauty makes me think she looks like a female star.  I thought about it for a long time, and finally I realised that she is Viviz's Umji.

She has been wandering the entire store without picking up any items.  When she took something, she put that thing back.  She seems to want to buy it and doesn't seem to want to buy it. I don't know what Umji wants to do.

Umji walked from the dry goods section to the meat section with empty hands, and she kept taking and putting it back again and again.  I really wonder if all beautiful women are like this.

Umji took a look at the meat section and all of a sudden I saw Umji's shoulder straps slowly fall off.  My eyes kept looking at Umji's beautiful shoulder.  The falling straps made Umji so sexy that I got an erection without knowing it.

Before I knew it, it was 11.50 in the morning, which was almost my lunch time.  Just then, Umji came to the counter.  Umji slapped the box in her hand on the counter vigorously.  I took a serious look and found that the box turned out to be a condom.  After all, it was really unexpected to me that a female idol would come to buy condoms.

Umji approached me closely and said, "You've been watching me for so long since I've been here. What? What do you think you've been looking at me for?"

"No...no" I was startled by Umji's sudden question, after all I was really looking at her all the time.

Umji's eyes suddenly turned to my pants, and my pants are now swollen.  Umji knew I was looking at her until I got an erection, but instead of feeling disgusted Umji gave a smirk.

Before long, the store started to get more crowded.  Umji was nowhere to be seen in the store at this time.  I started busy checking out each customer.  But at the same time as the checkout, my facial expression couldn't show a smile at this time, but it was very painful.  When the guests saw my painful expression, they all asked me what happened, and I replied one by one that it was all right.  I'm making that pained look because right now Umji is kneeling under the counter sucking me.  When Umji sees me talking to a customer, she speeds up to make me moan in front of the customer.

Umji kept giving me blowjob during my checkout period, I couldn't control my expression, I sometimes gave the expression of wanting to cum.  Umji also asks if I like it, or if I'm going to cum?  I didn't answer either because I was serving customers.  Umji feels like I'm going to have to cum in front of a client before I stop.  but i held back strong.

Finally, I did all the checkouts before I cumming.  After I signaled Umji to stop, I angrily asked Umji why she was blowjob me while I was serving customers.  Umji replied nonchalantly that she just wanted to see you ejaculate in front of the customer and see how the customer would react.  I felt so pissed off that she made a fool of me by thinking of me just because of her curiosity.

After I saw that there was no one in the whole store, I carried Umji up from under the counter to the counter.  "You love watching other people make a fool of themselves so much, I'll let you be the one to make a fool of yourself." I quickly pulled off Umji's panties and licked her pink pussy. Umji loves me licking her pussy so much, Umji doesn't care if someone comes into the store suddenly, she's desperate to scream loudly.  I didn't want to see Umji's expression of enjoyment, so I took out a warm sausage from the deli table and put it into Umji's cunt.  Umji felt something warm go into her pussy.  Her cold pussy was now being thrust by the warm sausage.  Umji didn't like being fucked by a greasy and warm sausage, she tried desperately to stop me and I ignored her feelings and kept fucking Umji with that sausage until she squirted.

Umji is annoying, but she cums anyway.  I smeared that sausage with Umji's cum and fed Umji the sausage filled with Umji's cum.  And I put that extra cum in a cup.  Even though Umji said it was disgusting, she ate that sausage as if she was giving a blowjob to that sausage, which made me very horny.  Umji was eating the sausage while I took off Umji's top and started playing with her tits and nipples.  Umji moaned and enjoyed the sausage as if it was teasing her too.  I licked Umji's tit hard and squeezed her hard nipples.  Umji enjoyed me pinching her nipples very much.

After Umji finished that sausage, she felt very thirsty.  I took the milk that the customer didn't want just now, mixed it with her cum, and gave it to Umji to drink.  Umji drank with relish and poured some milk on her body.  The milk trickled down Umji's tits.  Umji pressed my head on her tits and asked me to lick all the milk off Umji's body.  I also drank it with relish, as if I couldn't drink the fishy smell of the cum.  Milk mixed with the cum seems to bring out the sweetness of milk.  After licking, I started to help Umji lick her greasy pussy.

Umji's pussy is now filled with the aroma of sausage and the fishy smell of pussy.  After I licked Umji's pussy wet, I put my cock in it.  Due to the oiliness of the sausage and the wetness of Umji's pussy, it was very easy for me to thrust Umji.  Simultaneously with the thrusting, I kissed Umji too.  Umji's mouth was filled with the oiliness of sausage and the taste of milk mixed with cum, which made Umji's mouth have another feeling that I couldn't extricate myself from kissing. The constant thrusting gave Umji a second squirt, filling my cock with her cum.

I turned Umji around and fucked her from behind.  I put my hands through her arms and grabbed her tits so I could fuck Umji harder.  I don't know if it's because Umji squirted twice, and Umji's moaning became weaker and weaker, so I spanked Umji's ass so that she could continue moaning loudly.  "Moan, the louder the better." Umji also started to moan louder at my order.  As Umji moaned loudly, I was about to cum too.  "Umji I'm going to cum...." Finished, before Umji could react I had creampied Umji.  I shot my cum all the way up Umji's pussy and didn't get it out until every drop was inside.  Umji's pussy can see my every cum.  I could see Umji's cum on my freshly cumed cock, so I asked Umji to lick it off for me.  As a female idol, Umji's blowjob skills are so proficient that I don't think she is an ordinary female idol.  Just when I was about to fuck Umji for the second time, I heard someone's voice…

"Hey……. Hey……hey!!!"

"Hey.....Hey...Hello...!!!" A voice made me open my eyes.  I looked at the clock and realized it was only 12 noon.  When I looked forward in a daze, I found Umji in front of me.  "Please check the bill for me." I just found out that I fell asleep when I was resting and had a sexual dream.  Just as I was about to help Umji check out, I found that there were no items on the counter but Umji's hand pressed a box of condoms on the counter.  And Umji gave a smirk.  This déjà vu feeling let me know that what I just had was not just a dream, but a precognitive dream.

[timetravelingsherlockian]

A System (TM): The non-definitive guide for dealing with dysphoria regardless of medical choices

Someone asked how one deals with dysphoria. The comment was too long for the reply box.

Long comment incoming...I have some gender fluidity going on, so I get buffeted from both sides (likely I tend towards masc, so it doesn't hit too hard).

I...uh...perform a good bit of mental jujitsu on the thoughts. It's gotta get through multiple layers of pre-prepared lifestyle choices, cognitive-behavioral thinking, mindfulness, rationalization, cultivating patience, disassociation, and spite before it really hits me.

Lifestyle Choices:

I'm out everywhere. If someone calls me something else or treats me in another way, they're either misinformed or being dicks about it. If they're the former, I either correct or move on with my day. If the latter, not worth my time. Any hurt I instill in myself from their dickishness is me brandishing their weapon against myself. Moving on.

Keep your friends supportive and your family as supportive as possible. If they can't be supportive, they don't get to know your business.

Don't explain shit.

I don't wear anything that makes me uncomfortable, and I wear the things I wish I wore when I was younger. All the dresses are out of my closet. None of the pants are too tight, and I have a few cut in a masc style, when I feel like it. My clothes don't cling in ways I'm not happy with. I have the good ol' standby dysphoria sweatshirt.

I get any aids I need to for myself. I go to a barber shop for my hair, and I make sure to get it cut when it's long. I've got a binder if I need it, packers, mascara in my cabinet drawer for facial hair. Pronoun pins (that I never wear, but it's nice to have them in my pocket to touch). I carry a knife like a lot of guys where I'm from do.

I try to keep everything else in my life in-shape. Think about dysphoria like a bad knee. If you don't get enough sleep, or you're eating garbage, or you're overtaxing yourself -- that knee's gonna hurt first, before anything else, because it's sensitive. If I'm getting a really bad bout, I check in with everything else first.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy:

I check disturbing thoughts against questions like, "if a friend told me this, what would I say to them?" "is the thought reasonable?"

If I spot words like "always" or "never", I flag them & try to re-word them in a less-extreme way, and I bring up counter-examples. E.g. "You'll never pass." becomes "are you sure, never*? That seems a bit harsh.* [check the facts] Even cisgender people get mistaken for the other gender, so even random chance says it'll happen at least once." >> "I'll almost-never pass." >> "Are you sure? Because the guy at the coffee shop says 'hey man!' every time you walk in. He's either clocked you (thus, you're being encouraged & accepted) or he genuinely thinks there's a man in there, somewhere." >> etc.

I think back to other times I've had the thought/experience and survived it. E.g. "What if I'm not really trans?" >> "...dude. You've been asking yourself that for around 3 years. You asked yourself that, then some cashier called you 'sir' and you clung to that in your little heart for most of the morning like a starving man with bread. That is not very cisgender behavior. Don't you think it would've worn off by now?"

I seek out others' diverse experiences. E.g. I feel embarrassed sometimes about sewing, but I know a guy whose literal degree is in costuming. I ain't calling him less of a man for that. Why am I bringing that on myself?

How is this thought functioning in my head? E.g. If I call myself pathetic, do I really think I'm pathetic, or do I want to curl up and sleep and "pathetic" is the quickest way to demotivate me to my bed? Why not not call myself "pathetic", and just treat myself nice and rest instead?

Mindfulness:

"It's just a thought." "It's just a sensation." "This is a sensation [reflect back the sensation to the spot of the sensation, so it knows you heard it]." Know that a thought or sensation is independent of a gender. (Gender is like "the flame unbound.")

Watch the sensation, feel the way your body reacts to it, and don't feed the beast. Just watch. Imagine yourself in a zoo, with a nice big trench between you and the animals. The flesh and thoughts will do their own thing, but you're safely protected from them.

Reality is reality is reality. As Galileo said, when the church insisted their doctrine otherwise, "and yet, it moves." You can think whatever thoughts you have. Other people can say any words they can form their mouths around. Your body can shiver and throb and become nauseated and ache -- None of these change what your gender is. Your gender is the vessel (which sometimes may change itself), and the experiences flow through it.

Rationalization:

"This is dysphoria. This is just what happens when you're brain's expecting one thing and your body's expecting something else."

"It sucks, but you're going to have to deal with it for X long, so you might as well try not to suffer twice by feeding into it."

"Yeah, sometimes it's gonna hurt and/or feel humiliating. Oh well. That's not gonna change your gender; you have other things to worry about."

"My gender can take care of itself right now."

Cultivating Patience:

This is going to take X number of years, or I'm going to have to live with a certain thing for t long. That's just the way things work.

No body is stagnant and without change. No perception is stagnant and without change. Ergo, this feeling of dysphoria, as are all things, is temporary.

See how you feel in 10 minutes/30 minutes/the afternoon/tomorrow. And then you can use an additional coping skill. (My genderfluidity makes this one even more flexible, but thoughts and feelings are themselves mercurial.)

Disassociation:

Read a book.

Scroll through social media (generally not trans content, because that can feed it, but sometimes trans content).

Write.

Walk outside.

Do some laundry.

Vacuum (I hate the vacuum noise, but now I'm bitching about that instead).

Deal with the other aforementioned life tasks that have you stuck here.

Sleep.

Give yourself some time to laze around in bed and just drift.

Go find some friends or call your most-talkative friend with a bunch of petty problems (when you're around other people, you can focus on them and not your gender).

Spite:

I know that there are trans people who've lost years of their lives because of the pain their dysphoria has caused them. I've lost evenings/afternoons/experiences from it too. I have no idea what my middleschool and highschool life would've been if I'd just known, or not had to deal with it. That being said, I'll be damned if it keeps me in bed and losing my life.Sometimes that means showering with my eyes open and the lights on when I don't want to (sometimes, what I see isn't that bad, and it's my head that was worse). Sometimes that means forcing myself out of bed and stumbling around in my comfort hoodie and sweats with my head down -- but at least I'm getting groceries or something.

People who hate trans people getting healthcare generally want to see us go away/disappear/not exist -- some folks by any means necessary. Them holding up care is to make our lives harder and for us to go away. Fuck them. Fuck the state systems. I'm not spending 2+ years bemoaning not looking or sounding like I want to stay home and not do something, just because I'm going to have to wait.

This is a system I've built up over a number of years, listening to bunches of trans peoples' experiences, and going to school for actual psychology. But it works pretty well, and I started at a low-dysphoria place to begin with, so I've been able to tackle symptoms as they've arisen, largely.

(I just realized this is the meme where the ADHD person says they don't have trouble with losing things because they have A System, and the neurotypical person has no idea what A System is...and the A System is itself a signal the person has ADHD. So. I don't have dysphoria. I have A System.)

I will say the dysphoria I deal with now isn't from the same sources I've dealt with in the past, largely. A number of sources I didn't realize made me dysphoric until they went away (or I'd quietly phased them out of my life without realizing it). I also like what Abigail Thorn says about dysphoria: It doesn't exist. Not that the sensations or dissatisfaction isn't there, but that the gap between who one imagines themself to be and who one is is a gap all people have to deal with, not just trans people. Cis people feel the same sort of self-consciousness when a cis woman grows hair on her face as a trans woman. You are not alone, and the systems and circumstances of history have merely added different labels to the universal struggles.

And then I like to pay attention to what does make me happy.

[devourearth]

"you know, sometimes i feel like another box you got to check off so you know you've done okay."

"do you remember the time you said you feel like a box that i just checked off? i do love you. but i've been using you. i resent you. it's not fair, you're not the one who hurt me, but i take it out on you." / "i don't feel like you resent me." / "because i'm like a wind-up doll, turn my key and i'll tell you exactly what you wanna hear. i have denied myself and denied myself. i'm fine. i'm not hurt. and it has built up this rage inside of me."

[shinxeysartgallery]

I hope this doesn't come off as rude but since you've adopted at least two characters that aren't yours what exactly is the point of adopting them when you can just make them yourself since you're an artist? I've never really understood the concept of adopts...

Honestly, I didn't really understand it either until I participated in it myself for the first time. lol I didn't get why people would spend a ton of time making up a character, only to throw them out later, or understand why people would make characters solely to sell them, but now I get it. Sometimes people just lose connection with characters they once loved and want to see them go to better homes that will love them as much as they once did. Maybe they went through a traumatic experience relating to that character and want to get rid of them because the character reminds them of their trauma too much. And other people just need money, feel like they have too many characters/are overwhelmed by the amount they have and want to pare down, want something they deem as better in exchange, or simply just want to do something to make others happy!

I released my first set of adopts back in mid-January because I wanted to try it and see what the big deal about it was. I tend to get super attached to my designs to the point I'd feel guilty about trading them away, so I wasn't sure if I'd be able to actually go through with it. But after doing it? Yeah, I think I kinda like it. :) I get neat art of my beloved OCs (or whatever else you exchanged) and you get a new baby that you love! Everyone wins! Still not trading any of my existing characters (or the ones I have adopted) because I love them all too much and 100% would feel guilty about giving them up, but definitely see the appeal of making new ones for the purpose of selling/trading now!

And then for me being the one doing the adoption, I honestly don't make offers on characters all that often. I only put in offers for characters who I know I will use if their current owner were to ever accept my offer (including with freebies). I'd feel bad about taking characters I know I won't use or am unsure if I'll use and then just letting them sit and rot in my account forever (or re-trading them immediately). I figure if other people want to get rid of these guys for whatever reason, and I can provide them with a home and a purpose, why not? It helps out the owner in purging their unwanted characters (potentially even gives them something they really want in exchange as well), and I get a new baby to play with. Another case of everyone winning! Sure, I could just make them myself if I really wanted to, but regardless of if I adopt them or make them, I'm gonna want to draw them at least once, so the same amount of effort regarding that goes into it. So I figure, if I've got an idea for what I could do with a character you're trying to get rid of, why not help both of us? You have one less character to try to get rid of, and I get to skip a whole step of the creation process and just draw them as they are. Plus, if it's a trade, you could also be getting something you really want in addition to lightening your purge box. What's so wrong about that?

Also shameless plug to check out my adopts, while we're on the subject. lmao Got some new ones added just this morning. :) (https://toyhou.se/Shinxey/characters/folder:5185911)

[luveline]

for the kisses before dinner au — steve has a bad/hard day with the kids and you help him feel better <3

thank you for your request! kisses before dinner au ♥︎ dad!steve x mom!reader | 4k words

Getting home from work is your favourite part of the day. Sometimes it's to see your three girls, all ecstatic, bouncing-pff-the-walls-happy to see you, and sometimes it's to see Steve's face. The relief of getting his partner back. 

"Hey," you call as you open the door, two grocery bags in hand. Steve always says he doesn't mind making dinner, but it doesn't really seem fair to you that he never gets a break, and tonight, you're the one who's going to cook. 

"Mom!" Ave shouts immediately. She appears at the top of the stairs and sprints down them. Your heart does a flip at her carelessness.

You can't help nagging. "Ave, babe, can we please walk down the stairs? I don't want you to slip," you plead, words softening as your six year old wraps her arms around your thighs. You bend to give her a quick hug. "Hi." 

"Hi, mommy."

"Where is everybody?" 

"Well," she says, and you know from her tone you won't like the story she's about to tell, "Bethie tried to eat the washdables and dad tried to give her a bath but Dove hit her face on the laundry box, so…" She peers up at you with wide eyes. She's got her dad's comedic timing. "They're upstairs." 

"You want to do mommy a favour? Put these on the kitchen floor?" you ask, offering the grocery bags. She takes them. They're very heavy. "You can drag 'em, Ave. Let me go check on your sisters and I'll be right back." 

Ave smiles like a champ and leaves for the kitchen, two plastic bags rustling as they slide across the floor behind her. You rush out of your shoes and up the stairs, checking the bathroom first. The window is fogged with steam and the floor is covered in tiny wet footprints. Your troupe isn't anywhere to be seen. 

You follow Dove's weak grizzling to Beth's bedroom, nudging the door open with your foot. 

Steve is making a very valiant effort to dress Beth and comfort Dove at the same time. He looks up from where he's sitting on the floor and all the tension on his face drops, his relief palpable. You don't want to get mushy about him being the best father in the whole world, but he is. You'd die for him in a heartbeat, and that makes this sort of stuff easy. 

"Hi, babies," you greet, arms already out to take Dove.

If you could, you'd take Beth instead, because getting her dressed is a much more difficult job than calming Dove down, but Dove craves your attention every second of the day, as babies tend to do. If you don't pick her up she'll start screaming. You've learned from experience.

Steve offers her up with an extreme amount of care considering she's not a baby baby, she's eighteen months. You heave a satisfied sigh. There's something about how warm kids can be, your own kids, that puts you at ease from the moment you hold them. 

You and Steve used to kiss like idiots when you got home from work. You remember when Avery was a baby, and you'd get home and she's be laying on her play matt, you and Steve could watch her from the sofa cuddled up together, putting off laundry and dishes and bath time because it wasn't the end of the world if you didn't get to them. These days, you have to stick to deadlines and chores. If you don't, the house turns to a mess, and it makes everything that much harder on you both. It's best to stay on top of it. 

So while you'd love to sit yourself down in Steve's lap and have him rub your back, you don't. You barely say hi to one another. He finishes getting Beth dressed and you break out the mom-ese, bubbly talking at Dove in the hopes she'll talk back. Dove follows after Beth — they're both so quiet. Avery's the chatterbox. 

"Hi, baby, I missed you," you croon, face plastered over with a smile. "Have you been good for your daddy today?" 

She sniffles at you. True to Avery's report, there's an unfortunate mark spreading across her brow denoting where she'd hurt herself. You kiss it gently. 

"Poor baby, you got an owie. Aw, sweetheart, mommy's gonna have to wrap you up in bubble wrap, aren't I?" 

"We could put her in a hamster ball." Steve suggest, pulling Beth's shirt down over her tummy.

"We could," you agree. 

Dove doesn't understand and it doesn't matter, anything at all cheers her up if you say it sweetly. Pleased at being the centre of attention no doubt, she drops her face into the crook of your neck. She's likely tired from crying, and it's not too far from her bed time. 

Dove settled, you navigate Beth's tea set spread out across the floor and sit on the end of the bed, not far from Steve's position. You reach out, stroking the wild mess of hair at the back of his head. He hadn't showered, which means today has been a hard day. 

"How are you, handsome?" you murmur, sliding your fingers deeper into his hair to scratch lightly at his scalp. 

He stops where he'd been helping Beth into a sweater and drops his head toward his shoulder, turning at the waist so he can see you. "Tired." 

"Yeah?" 

His eyes slip closed, a momentary bliss. "Your kids are evil," he continues. 

You look past him to Bethie, who's quiet. She's always quiet, but this is near silent. She shifts from one foot onto the other. It's like looking into a shy little mirror. Beth has always looked more like you than Steve. 

"Bethie," you hum, "are you okay?" 

She pulls her sleeves over her little hands and frowns. Steve sighs and straightens up, forcing you to take back your hand from his hair. 

"I'm not mad at you, Beth," he says. 

Her face crumples up. You have the energy to find it adorable, but Steve's so tired he can't summon much more than a hug for her. She twists up into his arms. 

"I'm sorry," she whines. 

"It's okay," he promises, patting her back in a slow rhythm. "Now you know why me and mom tell you not to chew on them, yeah? They aren't food, my love." 

My love. It would sound odd coming from Steve if he didn't say it as gently as he does. 

Speaking of food, Avery has not appeared. You tilt your head to one side, and you question yourself on if you're hearing what you think you are. The fridge beeps when it's left open too long, and you're ninety eight percent sure there's a beeping sound coming from downstairs.

"Are you okay?" Steve asks. 

Beth steps back and wipes her cheeks with both hands, nodding. 

Steve replaces her hands with his own and wipes her sticky skin tenderly. When her cheeks are dry, he frames her face with both hands and smiles at her until she smiles back. 

You're not surprised when she goes in for another hug. 

"It's okay, Beth," he says again, "you're not in trouble." 

Beth has a huge guilty conscience. You wonder sometimes how she's turned out so different to Ave considering they've been raised with the same amount of devotion, and you worry that maybe she's been given a little too much sheltering. That being said, Avery had, to your regret, suffered from time to time in place of your and Steve's ineptitude. Nothing that has ever left a mark, but small things you'd wished you'd known. How the majority of her crying had been because she needed burping (so much burping), or how owning a pair of hairdressing scissors does not make you a hairdresser. Sheltering seems fair. 

You love your girls. You want them to be happy more than anything and you don't mind sheltering them, even if they all end up shy and clingy. 

You love clingy. 

"Stevie, I'm gonna make dinner tonight, okay?" 

"Thank you," he mumbles into Beth's hair. 

You frown deeply. He really needs a break, and it's only Thursday. That's one more day until the weekend. 

You lean down, Dove pressed to your chest with both arms, and kiss the top of his head. "I need to call Jessica, and then we'll have dinner. Do you want to go lie down? Take Bethie with you and cuddle?" 

"What do you think, pretty girl?" he asks her, pulling his face from her hair. He strokes down the side of her face with the first knuckle of his index finger. You can practically feel the sensation from watching, the light, fluttering tickling feeling. 

You and Dove ditch their lovefest and bump down the stairs together, one careful step at a time. 

In the kitchen, Avery has made a mess.  

You blink. "Ave," you moan, "what are you doing?" 

"I'm putting stuff away, mom, what does it look like?" 

She's sarcastic rather than cruel, there isn't a drop of attitude in her whole body. 

"It looks like an explosion," you say. 

"I'm putting stuff away," she insists. 

She's dragged a chair to the cupboard, there's canned food all over the counter, there's a busted bag of macaroni elbows on the stove, and the fridge has been open so long the lights inside have turned off. 

You have to laugh. "Do me another favour?" 

"What do I get?" she asks. 

You pretend to think about it, humming to yourself. "Hm, let's see… a kiss?" 

She shakes her head. 

"A hug?" 

She shakes her head again. 

You tip your face toward Dove's, who babbles an incomprehensible suggestion. "I don't know," you murmur, "I don't think that'll work." 

"What won't work?" Avery asks, a plastic wrapped head of broccoli in her hands. 

"What if… We have cake and ice cream after dinner?" 

"Friday treat?" Avery asks, gasping. 

"But on a Thursday!" you agree, turning your excitement to Dove. "My lovely girls deserve something sweet, I think. And your dad, too." 

Avery narrows her widened eyes into a more 'grown-up' expression, playing it cool like Steve pretends to sometimes. "What's the favour?" 

"You and Dove watch some TV while I make dinner?" 

"That's easy," Avery says.

You beam at her. "Thank you. You're such a good girl. Come here, give me some kisses before you go." 

You kiss Avery until she's groaning about slobbery cheeks and send her and Dove into the living room with a sippy cup of juice and two secret cookies, hoping to distract them for a while. You clean up Avery's mess, and you admit to yourself that she wasn't doing a bad job. Really it was sweet of her to even try. You make dinner, and while the veggies are sautéing you call your boss, Jessica. 

You don't explain, only ask if it'll be okay to take one of your holidays. She's not thrilled to give you one, but she knows you have three girls. 

And so, you have the day off tomorrow. Steve can take a breather. 

You pull the table away from the wall and plate up everybody's dinner one by one. Rather than shout, you do the rounds. 

Avery and Dove are snuggled up together in the middle of the big couch.

"Dinner's ready," you cheer, sweeping Dove into your arms. "Let me go get daddy." 

"I'll do it!" Avery says.

She runs up the stairs and you turn back to the kitchen. Dove hates her high chair, so you elect to have her in your lap, even if that means you don't actually get to eat anything. When Avery appears she's jubilant, hand in Steve's and pulling him through the door. 

"Hey, troopers," you say absentmindedly, focused on spooning mashed veggies into Dove's open mouth. 

"Hey." 

"Stevie, listen, I got the day off tomorrow," you say. 

"What?" 

"You just-" You lift your gaze to meet his. "You looked so tired." 

He stands by the side of your chair and drops a slow, sweet kiss into your temple. "You didn't have to." 

You kind of did. You don't want him to get sick, or — honestly, it's not even about overworking himself. You want him to be happy. Happy, and not overwhelmed. 

You savour the short squeeze he gives your neck. 

After the most pathetic dinner you've ever seen (seriously, your family are sapped), you get cake and ice cream in three bowls and line your girls up in a row on the couch. Nothing steals their attention more than sugar and Sesame Street.  

Finally, finally, you can talk to Steve. 

He sits in the armchair. 

You come to stand in front of him, not shy, but tentative. "Could I-" 

"Shut up. Don't even ask me, or I'm gonna be furious." 

You smile like an idiot and sit yourself down in his lap, careful not to put all your weight on him. He rolls his eyes and twists your around until your back is flush with one of the armchair's arms, legs hanging off of the other, ribs to Steve's stomach. 

"Stevie," you mumble, cupping his cheek, "you okay?" 

You cup his cheek in your hand, tugging his face closer to your own. His arms curl around your waist and he hangs onto you like a life raft. 

He looks as though he might brush it all off. Then, eventually, he confesses, "God, it's been never ending today. Dove- She smashed that weird paperweight from my mom, like, ten minutes after we got home from dropping off the girls, and then she screamed bloody murder when I wouldn't let her touch it." He lets his head rest against yours. "Then the school called me because Avery forgot-" He sighs. "I forgot to give her clothes for soft play. So we had to get back in the car, and you know how much she hates that car seat. She's been miserable all day, and I didn't eat until you made dinner so I've been miserable, and I hate when I'm like that because it's not her fault. I'm lucky Beth's been so quiet, but then she started eating pens, so..."

"It's not her fault, but it's not your fault either. Don't feel guilty about things you have no hand in, honey." 

His voice goes weak. "I don't want to be that fucking angry dad who's mad and miserable." 

"You're not. You never, ever could be," you say, laughing softly. You scratch his jaw. "I won't say they can't tell when you're upset 'cause we both know they can, but I can promise they know it's not permanent." You angle his face carefully to the girls, where they all sit happy as clams, lips sticky and smiling.

"Angry dad," you repeat. "Babe, you're barely mad. You're tired. It was a bad day." 

"Wasn't all bad. Thank you." 

"We are a team," you whisper, pronouncing each word emphatically. 

"I know. Thanks for being my team," he says. 

You rub your cheek against his collar. "Sorry today sucked, handsome. I swear tomorrow's gonna be better. You don't have to get up in the morning, I'll do drop off and breakfast, and then when you do get up we'll," — you kiss his neck — "spend the whole day doing nothing. Or, you'll do nothing. I'll do laundry." 

"I have to clean the bathroom." 

You kiss his neck again. "I'll do it. Don't worry, baby. I got you. I got you completely. You can write me a list, if you like, but I don't need one. I'll do everything." 

He whines into your neck dramatically. "I don't know how it gets this bad." 

You give him another kiss, another, folding love into each one. 

"I mean, I've been doing this- We've been doing this for six years. Six years," he whispers pointedly, "and I still can't perfect it." 

"Families definitely aren't supposed to be perfect." You suck in a quick breath. "I mean, mine is. My girls, my guy. You're perfect." 

"God." 

"Is there something you need me to do tonight?" you ask gently. "Do you want to go shower?"

He starts to torment you, hands rubbing all over your back and arms, face a heat smushed to the top of your head. "I need you to stay here. Can't remember the last time I got to do this."

You wiggle your feet over the armrest. You're not sure, either. Too long. 

He pushes against your stomach. When you're pregnant Steve's hand may as well be glued to it. Now, though, it's just soft. You'd be insecure if he weren't so loving, and loud about it; he worships you and your body unabashedly. 

You don't know how you feel about having more kids. It's too complicated to hash over tonight, you'll give yourself a migraine. You want more, you want as many as Steve wants, and Steve wants a football team, but you struggle through every pregnancy. Avery's had been terrifying, Beth's had been exhausting, and you'd been so sick and weak during Dove's that Steve had genuinely sat you down and made sure you knew you never, ever had to do it again if you didn't want to. For any reason at all.

But you look at your girls and you get this awful panging longing for more. And wouldn't Steve just adore a baby boy? Wouldn't you?

"You know, we have a pattern going," you say. 

Steve smiles. "What pattern?" 

"Two and a half between Ave and and Beth, two and five months between Beth and Dove. If we had another one, there would almost be two and a half between them, too. If we tried now, I mean." 

You're not just saying it to lift his mood, and you're not saying it because you definitely know what you want, but it's a conversation you wouldn't mind having. Steve's excited smile is a bonus.

"You want another one?" he asks. 

You stare into his eyes. "I'm not sure, but you do. Right?" 

"You know I do, but it's… it's your decision, it always is." 

Hasn't he told you that a thousand times by now. "Is it really only mine?" 

"You're the one who's at risk. You're the one who has to carry her." 

"Her," you say. "You're so sure it'd be a girl?" 

His laugh is warm where it kisses your cheek. "Pretty sure that's my only mode." 

"I'd want a boy, if we had another one. A boy who looks exactly like you. He would be the most handsome little boy in the world." 

"We can't have more that look like me," he argues, sounding like himself for the first time tonight. "Don't you think two's enough?" 

"No." Easiest answer ever. 

"Seriously? Dove glared at me earlier and it was like looking in the mirror." 

"I love your face, Steve. You know that? I really, genuinely, think you're the most beautiful person I've ever met. Of course I want our kids to look like you." 

Steve raises a hand to your neck and kisses you. You don't remember to close your eyes, he's too quick, and when he pulls away he laughs. "Shut your eyes, weirdo," he demands. 

You close them. For your efforts, Steve gives you a handful of quick, close-mouthed pecks that slowly soften, your favourite kind of kissing without getting too handsy.

His lips are a little bit chapped. You make a note to smooth him over with some chapstick tonight, and you laugh at yourself for making a note. 

"What?" he asks amusedly, words reverberating into your lips and tickling you. 

You don't want him to be insecure. "Just happy, Steve. So happy it's awful." 

He doesn't kiss you anymore than that. You're hoping you can entice him for at least a few more, but Beth has other plans. She slides down the couch and slinks to the armchair, looking very polite as she pauses in front of you. 

You and Steve have the same reaction. Rampant affection. 

"Hello, gorgeous," you say, holding out your arm. 

She struggled to climb up into your lap. 

"I haven't seen you very much today, have I?" you ask, helping her sit on your tummy where Steve's hand had been before. "Are you okay?" 

"I'm okay," she says sweetly. 

"Yeah? You have ice cream on your lip, you want me to wipe it away?"

She nods heavily and closes her eyes. You share a mischievous glance with Steve, and then you lean forward and kiss the corner of her mouth. 

"There," you say when you pull away. 

"Mommy," she mumbles giddily, "that's not wiping." 

"Sorry, I just missed you so much. Think I can have another one? Would that be okay?" 

"Leave some for me," Steve complains. 

Beth ignores him. "You can have-" She trips over the words but keeps going anyhow. "Can have as many as you want, mom." 

"I can?" you ask, delighted, barely waiting before you're pulling her into your chest to press soft little kisses into her chubby cheek. 

"Oh, she's my shy girl," you murmur at her lowered chin. "She's so shy. She has such a pretty face I just can't help it, I gotta kiss it." 

Steve noses along your ear. "'Cause she looks like you." 

You pinch his waist until he's threatening to roll you off him. 

"I'm serious." 

"Think of Beth," you say deadpan, before sinking right back into mom talk. "Me and my girl are having kisses and he's just jealous, right Bethie?" 

"Right," she says. 

Steve groans at such a terrible betrayal and deflates in defeat, his thighs sliding underneath you. "Whatever." 

You take pity on him quickly. Dove will side with you unquestionably, but Avery's about justice, so you psst at her until she turns your way, and you mouth, "Kiss your dad, pretty please" with raised eyebrows. 

She practically throws herself off of the couch and hurtles to the armchair. She's super tall for her age and she doesn't need any help at all to climb up. There's not much room but she makes it work, kneeling on the armrest beside your head, hands vying for her dad's arms. 

He looks up in surprise. "Hey, Avey." 

"Kiss?" she asks. 

Steve simpers. "I knew you were a good egg. Get off of me, mom." 

"No way," you say, squirming in his lap. 

Dove notices what's happening and makes her way to you with an expectant smile. Soon, you've whipped her up into your lap and Steve is submerged in his girls, hands and arms and kisses all over him. 

"Love you, dad," Avery says.

"Love you," you say, pleased with her amazing timing. 

"Love you, daddy," Bethie says, her ear to his heart. 

Dove raises a socked foot up toward him like it is the most important thing she's ever done, a signal for wanting tickles. He has to pull his arm out from where it's sandwiched between you and Avery, scratching the bottom of her foot until she's giggling infectiously. 

"I love you," he says. To all of you, presumably. 

This doesn't last as long as it should. 

"I love you all," he clarifies, "but one of you is crushing my leg." 

It's absolutely you. He's kind for not saying it. 

"Wanna move to the couch? I'll go get us some blankets," you offer, brushing hair from his eyes fondly. 

His eyes squint together ever so slightly. "That would be nice."

—

requests are open for more of this au <3 pls consider a reblog if u enjoyed cos im an attention seeker and they make me happy, thanks for reading!!! <3

[unterwaesche]

Every now and then one of my cats will round a corner or I'll catch a glimpse of her through the access I cut out for them to get to one of the litter boxes in the basement landing, and just for a moment my brain will register her as a blonde boy with green eyes, about 3 feet tall, wearing brown suspenders. Sometimes one of the boys will come down the stairs just right and I'll think it's my son. Just those two, though. My other boy will sometimes walk into a room I'm in and I'll know it if my eyes are closed because his eyes will flash in my mind. Our newbie cat is just a cat though. But she's still settling in.

If I'm starting to feel sick before I check my temperature I'll close my eyes and if I see a white feather sitting on a table with a light source directly above it I know I have a fever. This check is accurate 100% of the time.

I used to do night cleaning for a church where all manner of weird things happened. The most unpleasant of which was this thing that you could tell was there because just being near it made you feel awful, like the sort of fatigue where your eyes dry out and the skin under the eyes feels stretched and your hands don't quite do what they're told. Couldn't ever actually see it because looking at it would cause the eyes to black out until you looked somewhere else. I saw it three times and each time I fell into a deep depression for at least a day afterward. Same thing happened to my wife and a friend of ours. She insisted I didn't go alone after the first time I saw it because it made me actively suicidal until I left the building, but it didn't occur to me that something was really wrong at the time when I was rolling my cart around thinking of all the things in it that could kill me. I didn't listen to music the whole ride home that night, and by the time I got to my house it was like nothing had ever happened and I was stuck wondering if any of it actually had.

Another time I saw something humanoid come out of the main office. It was so tall it had to double over to get under the doorframe. Then it disappeared and I didn't think much more of it (understand that I cleaned there for five years and the spooky shit ended up becoming part of the ambiance) until later when it whispered "You've got to get out of here" in my ear and I realized the part of the church where the lights were off was a little too dark and I could see several pairs of eyes. I don't run, ever...but I ran.

I’m bored at work! Please entertain me with real life glitch/ghost stories!

My glitch story isn’t to thrilling but I came inside and left my dog sleeping outside then I went up stairs to my room and found my dog laying on my bed I was home alone so not one could have let her in

What’s your glitch/ghost story?

[everlasting-stories]

To Feel Again [M]

Genre: light angst, romance

Warnings[!]: smut, penetration, creampie, unprotected sex, mentions of adult toys

Pairing: Doyoung x Reader

Words: 4.4k / One-shot

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Valentine's Day: the day of roses and hearts and chocolates and romantic candlelit dinners. When people proposed marriage and professed undying love.

You sighed, staring unseeing into your bowl of cornflakes as they succumbed to their milky grave and turned to soggy goop. Funny how a date on a calendar could open the pit of despair that lived somewhere near your stomach. It had to be near your stomach. You've been reasonably hungry until you've noticed the date and the pit opened. Your hunger had fallen into it, and the memories and pain rose out of it.

There was a time when this day had been wonderful. Life had been wonderful, you didn't need Valentine's Day, but you celebrated it with reverence and, sometimes, wild abandon.

You knew what love was, what it felt like to love a man and how it felt to lose him. You remembered what he'd said that last morning, how he'd kissed you; how the sun had lit his face as he smiled, promising he'd be back. You also remembered the police, how the sun seemed to dim as they told you the phrases out of courtesy. They were sorry for your loss. They will let you know of details as soon as the investigation on the accident comes to an end.

Since that time, Valentine's Day had passed unheralded, unheeded and uncelebrated. You knew you were a joke of the office - entering thirties soon and never been fucked, that's what they said. The borning woman who had no idea what fun was, wouldn't have known what to do with a man if by some miracle you did catch the attention of one. They were wrong, of course. Not that it was any of their business; it certainly didn't affect your ability to do your job.

If you chose to act and dress your age and spend your evenings quietly, rather than as mutton dressed as lamb in some gaudy nightclub, surely that was your right?

You sighed again, getting up from the table, taking your cereal bowl and dumping the gloop down the sink. A bleak day of petty jibes and pitying looks lay ahead. At least you knew what to expect this year.

Last year had been your first Valentine's Day with this particular company and, therefore, your first with this particular bunch of malicious people - your fellow employees. As front counter receptionist, you were the company's first "public face" and some of your co-workers had decided it didn't look good if that face wasn't surrounded by gifts from admirers on this day.

When the first bunch of anonymous flowers had arrived, you've been flustered, flattered and flabbergasted that anyone would send you flowers. You had hurriedly cleared a space on the counter for them, proudly displaying them, fussing with them to show them off at their best and make them visible from the greatest distance. You kept touching them, moving them slightly, reaffirming they were really there. Your heart sang; someone had noticed you. Maybe he was too shy to reveal himself; maybe he was married and couldn't: your mind was alive with questions, trying to solve the mystery of their origin. You were all in all happy.

Then a large box of chocolates arrived, closely followed by more flowers. By lunchtime, these had been joined by a little plush cherub, two red plush love hearts, a pair of earrings, three more bunches of flowers, four assorted boxes of chocolates and a large jar of candy hearts. They all carried the same anonymous message. And you knew then and there what is the catch behind this.

By the end of the day there were nine flower arrangements, ten boxes of chocolates, three cherubs, the two red love hearts, three teddy bears, two jars of candy, the earrings and a gift box containing four pairs of edible undies. Just before the close of business the final humiliation came - a fantastically wrapped see through box containing an inflatable male doll with vibrating tongue, a massive purple vibrating dildo and a copy of the Sex for The Beginners book.

You had to stay at your post until the last visitor or client left. But the rest of the staff was already heading out of the building. Some boggled at your desk, some snickered, a couple made loud crass comments and a very few had appeared horrified at the pile of stuff surrounding yourself. The building had almost emptied before that last visitor departed. You were sure that, too, was a set-up, particularly when you saw it was the client that had been visiting quite frequently lately.

Myungsoo ushered the man to the street and turned back to you as you gathered your coat and handbag, ready to escape.

"Gee, you're a popular girl. Who would have thought?" He reached your counter and began collecting up the flowers, grinning madly. "Let me help you with all that."

Before you could say a word, he bundled all the flowers, chocolates and assorted other items into your arms. You could barely see where you were going. Myungsoo put his arm around your back and shepherded you out the door, peeking at the vibrator in its transparent box. "There you go, sweetheart. Looks like you're definitely gonna get some action tonight." He turned smartly away, laughing as he rapidly put distance between the two of you.

You obviously had thrown the whole lot in the nearest dumpster and hurried to the relative sanctuary of your car before breaking down and sobbing, burying your head in your hands to hide from prying eyes of curious passer-bys.

Standing at your kitchen sink, you wondered what they'd pull this year. It couldn't be worse, could it? You sighed again and then abruptly shook your head, standing straighter. To hell with it - you were not going to let them get to you today.

It had already begun when you arrived. A bouquet of irises sat at the front of the counter. You were tempted to throw them straight in the garbage, but decided they were too pretty, too unusual. So they stayed. Curiosity got the better of you as you looked at the card, expecting it to say something sappy and insincere, as last year's cards had.

"You are worth far more than they will ever realise. Hear the flowers."

You pondered the card. Hear the flowers?

What on earth did that mean? You raised an eyebrow as you settled into your post: at least it seemed this year would be more intriguing than last. During quiet moments throughout the morning, you'd pick up the card, reread the cryptic message and study the beautiful bouquet, but its secret was never revealed.

No gifts arrived for you, no more flowers. You were relieved, but it only served to deepen the mystery of the flowers. As your lunch hour approached, other staff began filtering out of their offices to take a break. They all noticed the irises. Several of the women stopped and commented on their beauty. No one laughed.

As always, you left the building for lunch. You would usually grab a sandwich somewhere and do a bit of window shopping. Anything to get away for an hour - if you stayed in the office, someone always "needed" you for something.

When you returned, a neatly typed page was on your desk: "The meaning of flowers". One line was highlighted in blue: "Iris: Have Faith. Don't Give Up On Hope." A single purple violet was pinned to the page. You scanned the page to find "Violet (Purple): You occupy my thoughts". You put the page to one side, but still in view, unsure whether to laugh at it and throw it along with the flowers away before the punch line or wait it out. This was definitely a far more sophisticated assault than last year.

Throughout the afternoon a steady procession of couriers arrived, carrying flowers and gifts. You nervously watched each one approach your counter, only to breathe a sigh of relief as the teddy bears and hearts, the chocolates and flowers were all destined for other souls.

At 4:30PM a man approached your station: nothing unusual in that; everyone that came to see someone had to check in with you. What was unusual was that he actually saw you as a fellow human, not a robot programmed to take names and give directions. He smiled at you, a real smile that reached his eyes and warmed your heart. Something familiar in his eyes...

"Good afternoon. My name is Kim Doyoung. I have an appointment to speak to Choi Myungsoo. Would you mind letting him know I am here, please?"

Quickly, you dialled Myungsoo's extension, giving him the information. Myungsoo, as usual was brusque to the point of rude, telling you to "entertain the idiot 'till I'm ready for him - he's not supposed to be here for another 15 minutes".

You were tempted to tell the polite gentleman exactly what Myungsoo had said, but instead used your tact and diplomacy (that was why you were hired after all) to tell him that "Mr. Choi is a little delayed. He will be available in a few minutes."

With that being said, you offered him a seat.

Again he smiled. "Those are beautiful flowers," he said, nodding towards the iris bouquet. "A discerning choice for a lovely lady."

You lowered your eyes, feeling the heat rise in your face, knowing you were blushing.

His voice softened and became much quieter. "You don't remember me, do you?" Your eyes flew to his face, confused. Were you supposed to know this charming man?

"I had an appointment here at the same time, on this day last year. I was waiting outside for a taxi when you left. That was uncalled for, the whole situation that happened - mean and heartless and exactly what I would expect of Myungsoo and his friends. I deal with them only because I must. They offer a service unparalleled in this town."

He leaned across the counter, his voice so low only you could hear. "How they manage it, I cannot tell. They are pig swill and don't know a pearl when confronted with one." Doyoung paused, seeming to weigh up his next statement, then leaned closer to you. "Did you hear the flowers?"

Your eyes again flew to his face, your mouth falling open a little. "You sent them?"

"I did. And the violet. I had hoped to counter whatever crass display they had planned this year. Would you possibly consider spending the evening with me?" His face was eager, hopeful. "A nice dinner?"

You were stunned, flattered, amazed - but also wary. This was Myungsoo's client. He could easily have been put up to this. You studied his face closely, seeking any hint of a lurking cad. His face fell. "But, of course, you have other plans. I apologise for embarrassing you." He moved away and sat, abashed, on one of the hideous lounge chairs to await his appointment.

You studied this man. He didn't seem to fit the mould of Myungsoo's usual cohorts. For one thing he was unerringly polite. He was also good looking, very, very good looking, without being outstanding or flashy. He was also much closer to your age than Myungsoo's and had an air of quiet confidence, like he had nothing to prove to anyone and nothing to fear from them either. You looked at the flowers. Could Myungsoo have possibly thought of something this elegant? You didn't think so. You took a deep breath: to hell with it.

"Mr. Kim?" He looked up. "What time would you like to pick me up?"

In your bedroom, staring at the clothes hanging limply in your closet, the cool bravado that had claimed you as you agreed to the date vanished. In its place indecision, doubt and outright terror took hold. It seemed painfully obvious to you now, away from the office and that lovely man, that it was all another twisted joke, something for the office beautiful people to laugh at during tomorrow's coffee breaks. Why did you say yes? Your wardrobe was woefully inadequate. It was years since you'd been out with a man; you were bound to make a fool of yourself, even if it wasn't a set-up.

At that thought your heart jumped and lurched. The possibility that Mr. Kim - no, Doyoung; this was a date not a business appointment - was sincere in his wish to take you out only heightened your confusion and indecision.

Finally, in desperation and the realisation that if you didn't decide soon, you'd still be in your underwear when he arrived; you chose a chanel-knee length cremé skirt and baby pink cashmere sweater, topped off with knee length boots. The heels were quite high, but you remembered him being tall, so that wouldn't be an issue, as long as you didn't fall over in them.

You were saved from an overcritical examination in the mirror. You had just completed applying your makeup when Doyoung arrived. You grabbed your coat and quickly walked out the door, before you had time to rethink and back out.

"You look lovely," Doyoung said, smiling down at you. Feeling the heat creeping up your cheeks; you weren't used to receiving compliments, particularly from someone like him. You mumbled a shy thanks as he helped you put on your coat and led you to his car.

Sitting in the car as he drove, you were able to study the mysterious man that is Kim Doyoung. He was extremely handsome, not in the classical sense, but he certainly was far from a plain looking man - a man at peace with himself. He knew who he was and was content with that; he knew what he wanted and how to get it; and what was beyond his capabilities and lost no sleep over it. He obviously managed quite well; his car was expensive but not too flashy.

The restaurant he took you too was a quiet small place, away from the standard eat-and-entertain strip. It was intimate without claustrophobia; the decor was elegant without being overbearing; the lighting low but not dim; the service attentive without being intrusive. The food you could not describe - later, you barely remembered what you had eaten beyond it being "nice" - your attention was totally taken by Doyoung.

He was gallant and charming; helping you with your coat and holding your chair for you at the intimate table for two tucked away in a corner. Doyoung quietly suggested items on the menu he thought you might like. It was obvious he'd been here before, was a regular, but usually without company. His choice of wine was perfect to go with the excellent food as you enjoyed each other's company.

And you talked.

You learned a lot about him. Doyoung was 34, older than you had thought; he had been engaged, but his fiancé decided to break off the engagement for simply falling out of love. He had had a series of short term relationships that had petered out and, for the past several years, had lived a solitary life, rarely going out with women. He didn't work as such; his livelihood came from investments, which explained him being a client of the company you worked in. Myungsoo may be a jerk, but he was the one of the best investment brokers around.

He had been attracted to you the first time he met you, a year ago, but had been intimidated by the evidence of all your admirers. When he realised it was all a cruel joke played by his adviser and the other brokers, he was mortified. He had seriously considered changing brokers, going to another organisation but that would have meant he had no chance of meeting you again. So he stayed. He had been in your office on three occasions since then, and each time had seen your quiet, unflappable charm and how your talent and lovely nature were either ignored or taken for granted by those around you. He was determined to gain your attention, but without the office cricus freaks being able to use it against you, hence the mystery flower delivery this morning.

You found yourself opening up to Doyoung. He seemed sincerely interested in hearing what you had to say, hanging on your every word. It was a liberating and wonderfully powerful feeling. You weren't used to being the centre of anyone's attention. You told him of your pride at the independence since the loss of your lover, all those years ago. You were happy in your little home, content with your work, rarely coming to the attention of the office jokers.

It was over coffee that you admitted to Doyoung something you haven't admitted to yourself: your life was lonely and you missed the affection of another person. You missed the companionship of sharing your life with someone.

Immediately after the words had left your lips you regretted them. You have given away too much of yourself, been too forward. You lowered your eyes, not wanting to see the closed expression you knew would be on his face, so you didn't see the fleeting look of pain, quickly followed by understanding and hope.

However, you did feel his hand close over yours and squeeze lightly. You looked up into a face of gentle eyes and soft smile. "Would you like to take a walk with me," he said quietly. "I think it's time we leave - they want to close the restaurant anyway."

You looked around yourself noticing that you two were the only people other than staff left in the restaurant, and many of the lights were dimmed. You gasped in wonder - you had no idea you've been there so long. "Yes, a walk would be lovely."

Doyoung ushered you along the street and across a small, neat park to a promenade along the riverbank. It was enough lit to feel safe and you walked along arm in arm. You felt his arm snake around your waist hugging you closer to him, and you snuggled against him, your arm around his back. The moon was up, the stars were out and the night was peaceful and clear.

Your heart was singing and your eyes sparkled. You've been right to take this gamble. He was sincere, and it was wonderful. But the night was late, and it was rather cold.

You shivered. Doyoung felt it immediately and turned off the promenade proposing to head back toward the street where he had left the car. "I'd better take you home. It wouldn't be much of a date if you ended up ill."

At your door, Doyoung formally thanked you for a lovely evening and asked if he could see you again. You smiled and surprised yourself only a little by reaching up and kissing him lightly on the lips before saying: "Would you like to come in for a nightcap?"

Doyoung blinked, looking mildly bemused for a moment before studying your face. "Are you sure?"

Oh, most definitely, you were sure. You have thought of nothing else since you two have left the river. He looked right, he felt right, and he smelt right. You wanted him but was sure he'd never make a move. He was too much of a gentleman to ever force the issue.

You took his hand and led him into your home, kicking the door closed with your foot, shutting out the rest of the world with its mean people and ugly attitudes. You reached up to kiss him again. This time he lowered his head to yours, cradling your face in his hands as he returned the kiss. The lips met and parted, allowing the tongues to join and caress each other. His hands moved down from your face to caress your body, yours moving up from his hips. Both of you parted, searching each other's faces for confirmation of your desires.

"I think we're on the same page," you said. "Why don't you leave your coat on the couch? Do you want the nightcap now, or after the tour?"

"I'll put a hold on the nightcap," Doyoung answered, reading the desire in your eyes and knowing it was mirrored in his while stripping off the coat.

"Right."

You took his hand again. "This is the lounge. There," you pointed to the right, "is the kitchen and dining room. This way," pulling him down the hall, "is the second bedroom, the bathroom and," dragging him through a doorway, "here is the main bedroom."

"Very nice," he said, looking around, trying not to focus on the bed.

Suddenly shy, you both looked at anything but each other, awkward in a lack of intimate knowledge of each other. Doyoung tentatively reached out a hand to you, aiming to caress your breast, veering off at the last moment to your shoulder, but still lightly brushing your breast with his fingertips. Your gasped breath emboldened him and he reached his other hand, caressing your other breast lightly as you shivered under his touch and sighed.

Your own hands went to his chest, running down the front of his shirt and back up, then beginning to undo the buttons, pulling the shirt from his trousers and teasing his bare skin with your fingers.

Doyoung pulled his shirt off and then raised the sweater over your head and off the arms, moving in to kiss you as his hands went around your back to undo the clasps of a bra and returned to cup your breasts. The sensation on your breasts as he caressed and pinched the nipples sent a sharp message straight between your legs. You could feel yourself becoming moist and shuddered under his touch; breath becoming uneven.

Pushing him away you removed the skirt, letting it pool at your feet while looking into his eyes. Doyoung took the hint and began unbuckling his belt, then grinned foolishly and sat beside you to take off his socks, sneaking kisses of your neck and shoulders as he did so. You both stood again, slightly apart. He dropped his trousers and you could see his briefs pushed out of shape by his erection, the fabric straining.

Doyoung stepped up, taking you in his arms, kissing down your neck and across the collarbone, his hands lowering to your hips, sliding under the elastic and beginning to tug your panties down. Your own hands flew to the top of his briefs. Together, you pulled down the underwear, stepping out of them and standing naked before each other. Again Doyoung moved first, holding you and gently pushing backwards onto the bed, following after you onto it.

He ran one hand down the body of yours, teasing and tickling the beginning of your womanhood and beyond, teasing you with his fingers, tickling across your mound and easing around your damp centre. You moaned as he explored, your hips twisting and twitching. It had been so long since another man had touched you there. It felt amazing, wonderful, but achingly short of what you needed. You could feel his hardness against your thigh. Reaching down, you took his cock into your hand. It was hot, hard and pulsed under your touch. Doyoung groaned and his hips jerked convulsively. You kissed him hard and whispered fiercely, "Please, it's been too long. I need you, now."

"For me too, far too long," Doyoung gasped back, rolling you onto your back and positioning himself before gently splitting your lips and sliding steadily but firmly into you. Your moans were prominent in the air as he stretched and filled you right, not stopping his steady thrust until he was wholly inside you, your warm walls gripping him tightly. Your eyes met and locked as you lay still, immersed in the feeling of each other's body.

Being warm, wet and a safe haven, you were engulfing his cock. Doyoung was filling you with his hard heat, owning your body completely. You fit each other perfectly; you could see it in each other's eyes. You belonged together.

As great as this feeling was, you needed more. Doyoung slowly withdrew, till only the very tip split you. Both groaning as he pushed back in, again slowly feeling each other with delectable inch. Slowly in and out, in and out, revelling in the feeling of each other's bodies, gradually building up speed as your need increased.

You could feel the fire building, the tension increasing as sensation on sensation smashed into you with each thrust, your body twitching, your hips writhing. Still it built; higher, tighter, fiercer. Your entire being was wrapped around Doyoung's cock as it pumped in and out of you. You could hear him grunting with each thrust, feel his body trembling as he got closer to his climax. His speed increased and you breath got caught in your throat, your back arched, legs went stiff as you began to twitch when the white light exploded through you, spreading warmth and scattering your senses.

You felt, from far away but deep within you, Doyoung losing his rhythm before coming, pumping wildly into you, grunting and thrusting hard one last time as he shot deep inside you feeling spent but overly fulfilled.

Your hand was making lazy circles on Doyoung's chest as you lay, curled against his side with a head on his shoulder. You weren't sure how you've come to be in this position, but it felt so right and he smelled so good.

You were at peace while drifting off to sleep.

Waking up without feeling body by your side, you immediately felt the loss. Doyoung wasn't there. Your heart dropped, the pit near your stomach threatened to open and engulf it. Sensing the tears coming up, you accidentally feel something on your side with a hand.

He wasn't there. But there was a note.

"I am so sorry. I hate to leave you, knowing you will wake alone. There is something I must do."

You had just finished reading when the phone rang, disturbing your thoughts. Grudgingly, you moved to answer it. "Hello."

"Wish I was still beside you."

Your heart flipped again. The pit dissolved so you could breathe again before whispering, "Doyoung."

"Y/N. Tell me, what are you planning for breakfast?"

"Uhm. Coffee? Maybe some toast. Why?"

"Don't move. I'm on my way. With breakfast. And it's better than toast."

You lay back in bed, listening to the dial tone after he hung up. Surprised, you smile softly. You must remember to thank Myungsoo for introducing them.

If this is how you will feel loved and feel free to love again, you have no complaints.

Your new chapter is about to begin and hopefully, it will last for a very long time with a man named Kim Doyoung.

[fluffymcu]

Ik you've probably been getting a lot of prompts, but I was wondering if you'd feel inspired to write this one?

So platonic Steve x reader, where she has a sticker or something stuck to the side of her shirt, and when Steve starts trying to get it off, she squirms and he notices. Then he can tell that she's trying so hard to hide the fact that she is super ticklish and he exposes her and thinks it's so cute! (And of course wrecks her)

Sorry if this is bad lol

———

“Our school is making us come up with our own glue adhesive as a school project. We have 2 weeks to turn it in and have to use these laminated papers to put the adhesive on. I’m so gonna use bits of my web formula to make the best sticker!” Peter chortled, telling everyone about his project at dinner.

You nodded with a hum, taking another bite of spaghetti. “Cool. How much have you gotten done?” You asked.

“I’ve done many samples dealing with different strengths and thicknesses. All I have to do is apply them to the papers.” He nodded.

——

The next morning you woke up extra early due to Thor coming in and asking you where the PS4 controller was at. You told him it was where you left it last but he proceeded to say it wasn’t there and made you get up and look for it with him; claiming that Korg was waiting for him to join the ps party. After that, you just decided to stay up and make yourself some coffee since you were still more than half asleep.

Once you made your mug, you lazily sipped and laid your upper body flat on the island, sighing in content at the cold feeling of the counter on your face. Just then, Steve walked in the kitchen and gave you a bright smile. “You’re up early!” He grinned, wiping off his forehead with his towel even though he was barely sweating. That man could spend hours at the gym and come out without a drop of sweat.

“Sarcastic thanks to Thor for that.” You jazzed your hands. Steve chuckled and patted your back.

“Go back to sleep then, sleepy head!”

Right as you were about to agree, Peter walked in the kitchen, overdoing his safety gear. Goggles, gloves, an apron, and even a hair net. All that for glue?

He stopped in his tracks once he saw you. “Uhh, y/n? Did you lay on my stickers?” He asked, a nervous tone is his voice. You furrowed your eyebrows and leaned up to check your side. You had indeed laid on his sticker. Your eyes widened.

“Oh, goddd.” You groaned. “Can it come off easily?”

“I mean, I did use the same components as my web formula so, I’m guessing it’ll be really... sticky?” He shrugged apologetically.

“Why were you doing your school project on the kitchen counter?” You cried.

“In my defense! None of you are up this early except Steve so I was planning to be done with this by the time you’d all be up!” He raised his hands defensively.

Steve bit his lip and stepped toward you. “Here, lemme see if I can take it off.” He said, taking a seat on the island stool and motioning for you to come close.

Since the sticker was stuck on your side, right under your armpit and on your ribs, when he began to try to pull it off, the constant scratching at it was tickling a lot. You pursed your lips and tensed up, closing your eyes and trying to steady your breaths.

“In the mean time, I’ll go see if I can find my web dissolving solution. Hopefully that could help!” Peter said, running up to his little mini lab Tony made for him.

“Why didn’t he just do his experiment in his lab?” Steve chuckled. You shook your head along with him.

“But have you seen his lab? It’s a mess. I’d be surprised if he’d actually be able to find that solution in that pile of storage boxes.” You sighed, jerking a bit when he started to scratch harder.

Steve smirked as he quickly realized what he was doing. He’s seen Bucky tickle you sometimes to tease you and he’s seen that he usually targets your ribs and gets a big reaction. He found it cute. “Am I hurting you?” He asked, pausing what he was doing. You shook your head quickly.

“No. Just- no.” You shrugged, hating yourself for not being able to think of a good excuse. Steve nodded, hiding his smirk while continuing to pry at the sticker. It was so hard to keep your arm up!

After a minute you felt his thumb scratch at your lower rib which made you pull your arm down out of reflex. “Woah, you okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah I’m great! Just... umm maybe I can try to take it off myself.” You said, trying to walk away but Steve gently grabbed your arm.

“Hang on, it’s ok. No need to get frustrated or impatient. Let me help you. Peter should be here with the solution soon if this doesn’t work.” He said. You sighed and lifted you arm again, letting him try to peel it off.

A few moments passed of you trying to desperately hold in your laughter and keep your arm up. Steve has smirking behind you, knowing how hard you were trying. Finally, he spoke up.

“You think I don’t know what you’re doing, y/n/n? You’re hiding your laughter.” He teased, smiling widely when you turned to look at him with slightly wide eyes. “Yeah, honey. I know you’re ticklish.” Right then, he pounced, pulling you to his chest and instantly pinching all around your waistline, chuckling as you let out your laughter. “Thaaat’s it. Let those little giggles aaaall out.” He grinned, laughing when you threw your head back on his shoulder.

“STAHAHAHAP!” You cried, trying to escape from the super soldier’s grasp. But he had you caged against him and basically sitting on his lap. You were done for.

“But this is too cute! Look at you giggling your worries away, I bet you’ve forgotten about the sticker already, yeah?” He teased, blowing a raspberry on your neck, making you scream.

“AHH! HAHAHAHA WHO TOHOHOLD YOU I WAHAHAS TICK- HAH! TICK- HAHAHA!! STEHEHEHEVE!” You squealed, kicking out your legs.

“Yes, y/n?” He sang, wiggling his finger in your belly button. You arched your back with a squeal and fell into silent laughter. Steve took it as a sigh to let you breathe and let you go. You went limp in his arms and panted, a smile on your face and letting out residual giggles. Steve held you close to him with a smile and gently rocked you. “Your laugh is adorable, y/n.” He smiled.

You groaned in embarrassment and turned a bit to hide your face on his shoulder. “You’ve heard it beforeee.” You grumbled.

“Yeah, but not like this!” He whined, mimicking your tone and pinching your hip, causing you to flinch with a giggle.

“Hey guys, I found the solution!” Peter squealed, running down the stairs. “I got it! This can probably take it off!”

“Probably?? Peter with what I just endured, it better work. I wanna get out of here and go back to bed.” You sighed tiredly.

“What did you endure?” He asked. You hummed in thought, hesitating to answer. He smirked. “Just kidding. I heard you from upstairs.” He said cheekily.

You narrowed your eyes at him as you felt heat flush through your cheeks, making Steve chuckle.

“Just put on the damn solution.”

——-

[naokow]

Get Free

 summary:  I want to get off, but I keep riding the ride, I never really noticed that I had to decide, to play someone's game, or live my own life.

warnings: angst, manipulating behaviour from eren, female reader (i’m sorry i didn’t make the reader genderless), cursing, smoking, drinking. let me know if i should add something else.

word count: 2.8k

A/N: so let me know if it sucked, pls, thank you. also, English is not my first language, so there can be mistakes pls tell me where my dumb ass was wrong

The hand on the waist was the final nail in the coffin for you.

How dare he dance with another girl. How dare he smile at her, how dare he ignore you and act like you weren't there, too.

"This is just pitiful," Marleen snorted, finishing half of her drink in a sip as she watched the same scene unfolding in the living room, those two uncaring of everyone else, like they were throwing it in your face.

You hummed, not really in the mood for taunts and half assed advices. "Which part?"

Marleen finished her drink and threw the cup over her shoulder, over the improvised bar the frat boys did last year with wood panels and boxes. It landed in the kitchen, someone yelling at the brunette as it nearly missed him.

 "You. Honestly, for the last time, you need to—"

Frowning, you tensed and turned to glare at her, only to stop staring at the dance floor. "Honestly, Marleen, for the last time, I'm not fucking Jean to get over Eren."

She raised her hands in mock surrender, taking the half empty bottle of beer from your loosened grasp. "Doesn't have to be Jean, pal."

Groaning, throwing your head back dramatically, you couldn't find it in yourself to debate this subject, again.

Not that it mattered. Not like it was supposed to be a fun night at a frat house. Not like you made a fuss about it, dressed in your best leather pants and top, tattoos on display.

Not like you actually tried a bolder look with the cat like eyeliner and actually put on lip gloss, because you knew Eren liked those, said once your lips were pretty like that, coated with too much cherry glitter—

No, it didn't matter, not even as you sat there, feeling stupid as you pulled at your snake bites, wondering if you should get drunk or just go back to your dorm and complain to Annie.

But the blonde was at the party, too, somewhere among the crowd and probably sulking just as you, if you were to guess after seeing Armin with some junior chick an hour ago.

Marleen pushed herself away from the counter, losing her balance as she fell from the chair, but you saw it coming. Rolling your eyes, you caught her arm and steadied her.

Marleen grinned as you let her go, and seized your bicep, squeezing it three times, like a grandmother would with her grandchildren's cheeks.

"God, I love your muscles."

You loved them, too, but often found yourself wondering if Eren would pick you if you looked different, like the pretty, thin brunette wrapped around him on the dance floor.

God, how much can someone dance?

"Anyway," Marleen sighed, fake annoyance and all that, "Someone has to fuck Jean."

You snorted, "Poor you, volunteering like that for society."

She waved you off, pushing your now empty beer bottle into your chest as she left your side with her arms in the air, waving franatically to catch Jean's attention from his seat on the couch, where Connie was trying to explain something with his fingers.

Putting the bottle behind you on the counter, you tried to stop yourself from looking at him. What good did it do to—

He was gripping her waist, his large hands, clad in rings you got for his last birthday, covering her exposed skin. Her arms were in his hair as he bent to say something in her ear—

No, you noticed, he was kissing her neck and she was grinning sideways at Eren.

Scoffing, you tugged at one of the pierces in your nose. You should know better by now, Marleen once chided after cleaning your face off, ruined make up almost dried on your cheeks.

He knows, Annie scolded from beside you two in the small public bathroom after Eren ruined karaoke night and brought his new girlfriend.

He knows you love him and doesn't care. So do yourself a favour and move on.

Yeah, you watch Eren laugh at something the girl said, move on from the crush you had on him since you were sixteen and his hair was still short and he was crying over his parents' divorce.

Sure, move on and forget all the times you helped him, picked the pieces and put him first. Like he did, all those years going down the drain ever since the school year started and he barely acknowledged you.

"You look like shit," someone took the seat next to you, and you sighed before accepting the offered red solo cup.

"Feel like it, too," you looked at Levi snorting as he sipped on his beer. He looked like he just got out of bed.

Right, you scowled at yourself. You've been so busy preparing to let Eren walk all over you, that you forgot that Levi lived in the frat house that hosted the party.

Hange was talking Erwin's ears off, but he smiled and waved at you from where he stood close to the oven, once you looked over your shoulder to inspect who was there. Hange imitated his gesture without turning to see who, exactly, they were saluting.

Levi ignored them altogether, hair disheveled from his twitching fingers. He probably had a nap, you guessed, from the simple black shirt and jeans. Most likely got dragged down from his room by Zeke, or someone.

You knew him well enough, since he bumped into you almost one year ago, in the parking lot where you were smoking, asking for a lighter. Sure, he ignored your bad mood since you walked over to class when Eren forgot to pick you up.

It was just one time.

It wasn't until many months later that he picked a habit of ditching you and your plans together.

Levi was older by two years, and so were his friends, but they took you under their wing almost immediately.

They were protective of you, especially Hange, but no one came close to Levi anytime Eren made you cry or upset you with anything.

Like now, as he glared at the place where you already knew Eren was having fun with the girl. But you chose to look at Levi, chin in the palm of your hand.

Finally, he turned to take you in, his eyes catching onto the fact that you wore the rings and choker he got for you over the last year, then the many earrings Hange and Erwin got you anytime you wanted another pierce.

"Well, you sure look worse than me," you smirked, but Levi frowned at your attempt.

"He did it again?"

You couldn't find it in yourself to get mad at his words, "He just forgot, is all."

Levi snorted, "He should get checked for that Alzheimer he's been sporting for the last months."

You hit his arm, barely touching him, and huffed. "Play nice."

To his credit, he left it at that and let the noise of the party fall over you, both nursing your drinks.

You pondered going to Hange to ask if you could crash over the night with them, knowing Marleen was busy and Annie probably left by now.

"Want to dance?"

Well, then.

Your eyebrows almost reached your hairline as your eyes found Levi's, "Huh?"

He didn't shrug, or rolled his eyes, simply putting down his bottle and staring at you. You didn't want to look over at the dance floor, or be near that sexual tension, but—

But Levi was trying, and you knew how much he despised the parties, or having to interact, or, God Almighty forbid, dance.

And he was asking if you wanted to, because he knew you liked the song that was playing before you even realized what song it was or that you've been moving your head along with the beat for the last minute.

But Eren was th—

You jumped from the bar stool, "Sure."

You were taller than Levi by some good inches, but that didn't bother him. It never did, not even when you made fun of it at game nights or that one time at the carnival when he was the only one to join you in the big rides.

It didn't bother him, not even now, as you let him put his hands on your bare waist and slightly gaze up at you.

Hands around his neck, you let your chin rest near his ear, "You dance like someone's grandpa."

You could only assume he scoffed as he moved his arms around and pushed you closer to his chest.

"That's how you're grandpa danced?"

You shrugged and let him move your hips to the beat, fingers lost in his hair. "Wouldn't know. He died before I was out, kicking and screaming for the last time in my life at my mom."

Levi shook his head at your words, used to your humour and thankful you couldn't see his smile as he put his forehead on your bare shoulder.

You found yourself forgetting about Eren for a while as Levi danced with you and touched your skin, fingers grazing sometimes over your back or spine.

Then he was lost to your mind altogether when Levi caught your eye and you tried to make sense of the look he was giving you.

Marleen said something about his stares, when you couldn't see him watching.

You wet your lips, and he watched your tongue swipe over the pierces. "What, Ackerman?"

He shrugged, "You hate lip glosses."

It was barely there after all the drinks, but the thin, shiny coat with that stupid glitter was noticable enough for Levi to glare at.

And you did, you did hate lip glosses when Levi's arms were around you like that and his hands didn't shy away at the feeling of your muscles like Eren once did, because, damn, what chick wants those abs?

"'m stupid, I know," you mumbled, head titled close to his ear, but he turned to look at you, not even dancing anymore as his mouth was so damn close to yours.

"Want me to buy you another lipstick? What was it, again? R—"

You laughed, and Levi smelt the juice and whiskey on your breath. "Red, yeah. Still don't know how you found that shade, it was so nice, and I finished it too fast."

Levi smirked a little, "Told you, it's a secret. How else am I gonna surprise you?"

You felt him around you, too real, too much, it consumed you, steadily, as his eyes wondered around on your features.

"You surprise me anyway, Ackerman."

He wet his lips, then frowned, having to remind himself you weren't there for him, that you were in that position only because you were hurting again and because he was stupid and reckless and—

"Take it off, please?"

Levi searched your eyes, "What?"

"The gloss crap. Take it off, please."

Levi's breath hitched. "Are you sure?"

You looked down at his lips, "Help me a little, Levi."

Damn you. Damn you and your beautiful face, that irresistible body and that personality and the fact that it made him fall hard. So hard he couldn't deny you, even if it hurt him.

Because you were still hang on Eren, waiting and suffering, uselessly prolonging the inevitable everyone knew its end, but you. 

But now you were in his arms and looking at him like he put the stars that formed those constellations you adored so much, on the sky.

Damn you, da—

He would never admit it hurt to press your lips to yours, to feel that cherry lip gloss first, then the punch as he probed at your mouth to get rid of that crap as you so nicely asked him to.

He hardly noticed how the pierces felt against his tongue, all lost to his mind as he gripped your hips tighter.

He would never admit it bothered him how your fingers played with his hair as you moved your face down and kissed him too roughly for his taste.

But it brought some satisfaction to glance over your shoulder at the shocked, angered Eren, his dance partner forgotten as he stared at his hands on your skin.

Good, it felt good. Even when Levi knew you would regret it the next day and go back to sulking over Eren.

But you brought his mouth back to yours and kept his face in your hands and made him ignore how much it hurt while he bruised your lips with too many kisses.

Levi tried to convince himself that things would finally be better, that it was the right move and he wasn't just a rebound. Maybe, if he kept telling himself that, he would believe it, too.

Even as you pecked his lips once, twice, stopped to gulp down breaths of air, like you just surfaced from water, like you've been drowning and finally, finally, you were free now.

But you stayed close, foreheads pressed against each other's while some stupid disco song started playing and Connie's excited yells surpassed even the stereo system.

You opened your mouth, and Levi wondered if he should be the first to say sorry.

"This is nice."

Flinching, you furrowed your brow and turned to look at Hange. They grinned, inches away from your face. Levi scoffed, and took one, two, fuck it—

He almost jumped away from you, putting space, almost making a statement. He glared at Hange.

"Is this our new secret handshake? I have to tell Erwin," they didn't wait, and you sighed as Hange bounced away to annoy Erwin for the millionth time that night.

You clicked your tongue, Hange forgot to tell you why they interrupted... Whatever that was with Levi, who was now rubbing his face in what you knew was annoyance.

Wetting your lips, and feeling no trace of cherry, made you feel worse than before.

"Right, I'm—"

Levi scoffed, hands back into his pockets as he already moved to walk past you. "Don't. I'm sure Jean would like to continue this."

You wondered why his words stung that much, because you were supposed to feel better after kissing someone. Because it was supposed to make you feel something else than sadness and constant self hatred.

Because—

Eren was making his way towards you, and Levi was already lost in the crowd before you could try to mend things. And say what, exactly? Nothing made sense anymore, your thoughts scattered all over the place because—

"What was that about?"

He was asking you, talking to you, and it didn't feel as good as you thought it would. Neither could bother to step aside, talk somewhere private, people still drinking and dancing around.

But why would Eren go somewhere private with you? It wasn't right. Nothing was feeling right as he glared down at you, at your swollen lips and flushed cheeks, that even the low light of the Christmas lights hanged around the walls couldn't hide.

"What?"

Sure, you were broken. Mind blank and fingers twitching to hold onto something.

Eren frowned, "What was that about, with Ackerman?"

You blinked at him. "I'm sorry?"

It wasn't the apology you almost shot at Levi earlier. You sounded too confused and shocked, even for you.

But nothing made sense and Eren was now fuming.

"Listen—"

And you were all years for him, straining yourself to hear him over the music and the crowd that pushed your bodies closer. All because you were used to this, dropping all doubts and latching onto Eren. Honestly, you couldn’t remember the last time he was that close to you, couldn’t comprehend the harsh reality. 

He was there because it bothered him to lose his play toy, and you were too blind to see it, or anything else beside his eyes as he talked. Blinking, you allowed Eren to take you to the kitchen, something about another drink. 

Levi was lost to you as Eren put his arm around your shoulders, barely keeping it there as he started talking about his classes and something his colleagues. You granted him your attention, all of it, never half hearted like he was with you most of the time.

Try all the time.

Because you were better, always so caring and welcoming for Eren to just pick and take whenever he pleased. But he was your friend, you cared too much about him to just let him go or ignore his needs. And he even left that pretty girl to talk with you. Surely, that must count as something. 

“Where’s your lip gloss, hm?” Eren inquired, watching you over the rim of his cup as you blinked, head titled to actually think about what he asked. Then,

“Oh, sorry. must’ve worn off,” you struggled to articulate the words, barely thinking them through, feeling small, almost lost under his stare for a moment. Eren smiled down at you, almost cynically, as he put his cup down and took your hand in his. 

“Want to dance?”

You nodded, faster than before, with—

It didn’t matter, not in that moment.

Assuring him it was alright, because every little thing was alright to you as long as it was Eren and his hand was taking yours, even if the hold was loose, barely there, like he was seconds away from letting it go.

[beetlebumxo]

I Kind of Like Crazy (smut)

I Kind of Like Crazy (smut)

Pairing: Early 00s Damon x Reader

Word count: 3,916

Warnings: SMUT, language, the usual smut warnings... 

A/N: Based on "psycho" Damon from the Gorillaz Charts of darkness/Bananaz, also slightly inspired by the show "Ratched". Thank you to my friend Laura for this prompt/working out some of the ideas with me. As a backstory, (well, canon from CoD) Damon went "insane" as he claims he was "beaten up by cartoon characters" and ended up in a mental institution. This is the setting for the story.

--

It was his first day here, he had gotten into a fight before coming in. His face was scratched up, and a long white bandage was wrapped around his (presumably) aching head. 

"My name is Y/N, if you need anything just ask for me." I chirped while looking down at him. He was slumped in a chair, holding his head up with this hand, resting his elbow on the armrest. He was so intense, jaw clenched, staring down at the floor.

"Yea.." he said, barely raising his head to look at me. 

"Mr. Albarn.." I began as he lifted his head, barely moving his lips.

"Damon.." he mumbled in a soft, quiet voice.

"Damon… do you understand why you're here?" I questioned, trying to get a better look at him, but he only moved his head slightly towards me.

"Look, I've told you a thousand times…" His deep, tired voice was laced with frustration, I didn't want to push him anymore on the subject. 

"Listen, they're going to keep you here while the investigation is ongoing. There's a growing concern for your well-being, and I---"

"And you what?" He shot back, now looking directly at me through the long lashes that lined his blueish-green eyes. I straightened myself up as best as I could -- trying to brush off his somewhat rude response.  "And.. I believe you saw something. But right now I'm here to make sure you're ok, are you ok?" He just nodded.  “Ok, Damon, ok, just let me know if you need anything.” I said as I made my way out of the room.

------

(A week later)

Standing outside the building, leaning against the cool brick, I took a moment to take in the events that occurred over the last week.  Damon had finally taken a liking to me, or so I thought. He had this intensity about him and yet, he could be so silly and child-like. I had to admit I was very attracted to these qualities. He was so incredibly handsome, right down to the little cut on his perfect nose. The more I thought about him, the more I knew how wrong this was.

"Fuck, this is not good, Y/N, not good," I muttered as I reached for a cigarette.  

I rested my head against the wall and closed my eyes, the warm smoke filled my lungs -- I slowly exhaled trying to let my troubled thoughts go.

"You know, smoking is bad for you." There he was again, batting his box of cigarettes in his hand. Damon removed one long white stick from the box, brought it up to his lips, and began to light it. 

“Wait, how did y---” I began, but Damon interrupted.

"I like to live a little dangerously, love." He smiled, holding the cigarette between his imperfectly perfect teeth. His grin suddenly grew a little wider. “And well, maybe a little bribery goes a long way?” 

He winked and grabbed the cigarette from between his soft pink lips, to now rest between his slightly bruised fingers. I loved his hands, they were truly just as gorgeous as his face--  a little dirty, ragged, with perfectly placed veins. 

He paused, shifting his gaze from his cigarette over to me again. "Tell me, why do you always do that?" He said, cocking his head to the side.

"Do what?" I smiled softly.

"Well, the way you.. kind of, sort of -- wrap your hair around your finger when you're nervous, the way you, uh,  bite your lip when you're unsure. The way you always have to make sure your skirt is pulled down low enough, because sometimes you're just a little insecure about that scar on your leg, yeah?"  

He smiled slyly at me. I squinted my eyes at him, somewhat flattered he had been paying such close attention to me.

"I see you've been studying me, hm?"   I curled my lips into a small smile, taking another long drag of my cigarette.

"Y/N.." he exhaled as smoke covered his slightly crooked bottom row of teeth.  "You're very pretty to look at, you know?" His eyes were focused on me. I felt heat rising to my cheeks, which were probably flushed by now. 

I cleared my throat --  "Oh.. thank you. You’re pretty easy on the eyes too." was the best I could come up with. I wanted to tell him how he'd been on my mind, how I couldn't stop thinking about him--, but I couldn't bring myself to do it-- that would have been completely inappropriate. 

"Who wouldn't fancy this?" He laughed while batting his long lashes. I could tell he was only half-joking -- he knew he was absolutely gorgeous.

“You are something, Damon.” I shook my head and laughed.  “I have to head back now, ok?” I really didn’t want to break up the conversation.

“Yeah, ok.” He said.

I turned to leave when he unexpectedly grabbed my hand. My hands began to sweat, my heart began to beat fast. I looked down -- his hands were big, his fingers were so long and beautiful, I loved how his hand felt gripping mine, even for that short moment. 

"I'll be seeing you, Y/N" he said with a smile. I smiled back --  this was trouble.

---

(The next day)

I tried not to let on how much Damon had an affect on me. I had to push the feelings down and keep this professional. Damon was sitting on his bed as I approached. I took a long, deep breath--

"Ok, I need to be a real nurse today and check how you're healing." I chuckled, bringing my hand to his chin to examine him. I tried to choke down all of my feelings and simply do my job.

"So, what were you on the other days, then?" He smiled a small devious grin.

My hand just barely touched his skin, but I could start to feel a slight tightness and warmth in my stomach again. He was even more beautiful up close - those blue eyes, that perfect nose -- and a smile that just melted my heart. I must have been studying him a little too long, I could feel his eyes on me. 

Just then, Damon lifted his hand to my wrist, moving it in such a way that we were now face to face.  Everything was happening in slow motion, as I stared into his eyes. He reached out pulling me closer, leaning into me, his lips inches from mine-- his warm breath on my face 

*click* -- it was the door handle. I jumped back, breaking the tension--it was only my colleague doing rounds. 

"I, I, I should go.." I stuttered as my heart and mind were racing. Damon just smirked at me, he knew exactly what he was doing. 

"Aww..." he teased. He looked me up and down again, I shifted my eyes quickly around the room. I didn't know what to say, the whole incident had taken me by surprise.  I walked back into the hall and tried to pull myself together again. 

--

(The following day)

I had success with avoiding him for most of the day -- this gave me more time to think about how to handle whatever this was. Oh, but he was so perfect. I let out a heavy sigh -- I needed to take a break to just clear my head. I made my way to the small back stairway. The door slammed shut behind me, echoing through the empty space. As I reached the platform, I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Ahhhh what the fuck??” I yelled.

"Shh, shh, love it's only me." It was Damon reassuring me. His hair was slightly messy, poking out from the white bandage that was still wrapped tightly around his forehead. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“Ugh, Damon!” I looked at him angrily, but after a few moments my face softened “Oh....... fine. I can’t stay mad at you.”

“Few people can.” he winked.

“So let me guess how you got out..hmm..let’s see...” I placed my hand on my chin -- �� "You know, I’m going to just take a guess that you're not used to hearing the word 'No' very often are you?" I said with a small smile, assuming that he had charmed his way out again.

"You certainly wouldn't tell me 'No' now would you?" He now made direct eye contact with me, turning more serious and intense. 

"That depends on what you're asking --- Damon."  I gave in and reached out, playfully running my finger up his arm. There I was touching him again, I couldn’t help myself. I noticed his little slightly indented tooth as he smiled at me.  He grabbed my arm and pulled me close, my breath hitched.

"What am I asking? Oh, Y/N.." his voice cracked a little bit-- his tone was so dark, deep and sexy. I could almost feel the heat radiating off of his body as he leaned in close to my ear.

 "I've seen the way you look at me, and how you shift your body.." his lips brushed my ear "..when I do this" he began to run his calloused fingers over my hand.  I felt a jolt of electricity run down my spine, these feelings were too much--  "I mean, do you really think you could tell me, 'No' now?" He smiled a smug, overconfident smile. I felt pressure building in my stomach. I pulled away and looked into his eyes again.

"Mhm, you know, this is not very….professional. “ I teased.

Damon now had a devilish smirk across his handsome face. He backed me against the railing and ran his large hand against my cheek. He slowly leaned in and kissed me. Pressing his lips to mine I opened my mouth as he pushed his tongue in. I felt a rush, and a throbbing in my core. He held his hand against my jaw and continued to explore my mouth. I brought my hands up to his jaw pulling him into me, tasting his mouth on mine. The pressure was building up inside of me but at the same time, it was a release, as if this most basic craving for him was finally being satisfied--even if only briefly. 

"Too much?" He smiled. I stood there watching him, I wanted so much more. He smirked then clicked his tongue as he walked back up the stairs. What a tease he was.  I braced myself against the railing, breathing hard. "No…. no, it wasn't too much. Oh….. shit." I muttered, unsure if he could hear me.

--

I lingered against the railing for a few minutes, taking in what had just happened.  I took a moment to catch my breath before making my way back upstairs. My entire body was aching for him. My breaths began to quicken, as I thought about his lips, his hands, his body pressing into me. 

I made my way back to the office, it was very late now, almost everyone had gone home. I went to tidy a few papers before leaving, when suddenly, as if on cue, he was at the door--

“I couldn’t stay away, and I know you didn’t want me to.” He began.

"Oh, I don't know.." I smiled.  "But, what are you bribing those nurses with, again?" I teased. 

"Well, wouldn't you like to know?" He flirted back, leaning his tall frame against the door.

"And just maybe I would....could it be you're just one of those… naughty boys?". I didn’t care to keep this professional any longer -- he had pushed me over the edge -- 

He chuckled, closing the door behind him. He walked up to me pushing my back against the desk. As I gripped the side, he began to run his fingers along my hand and slowly up my arm. I could feel my body temperature begin to rise from his movements.

"Maybe I'll just show you what a naughty boy I really am."  Oh, the way those words rolled off of his tongue -- "Y/N…. I'm not actually crazy, but you are driving me completely insane." He said.

“I kind of like crazy, Damon. I need more." I purred. My next breath was caught somewhere in my chest, I could barely breathe feeling his body pressed tightly against mine. Pressing his long fingers to the side of my neck behind my ear, he stretched his hand out just enough to run his thumb very lightly over my bottom lip.  I closed my eyes and tried to steady my breathing.

“Are you sure?”  He tilted my head up and began to leave a trail of small fiery wet kisses on my neck. "Like that?" My body was completely on fire now. All I could mutter was a breathy "Like that....." 

He shifted just attention back to my mouth, pushing his large tongue in so deeply. My hands slowly began to roam his sturdy, strong body. I managed to squeak out a few words as he pulled away for a moment.

"Wait--” I had a moment of clarity, before I was swallowed again by his charm. “Do you know how much trouble we would be in if we were caught right here?" I asked.

“I told you, I like to live dangerously.” he replied, grabbing my face with his hand pulling me closer to him while running his thumb over my lips again, this time smearing my lipstick all over my mouth and chin. I grabbed his hand and began to kiss and suck on his beautiful, long fingers, leaving small traces of whatever lipstick was left. He began to push his fingers in and out of my mouth, slowly at first, but then a little faster.  I could tell that he liked what I was doing to him as the bulge in his pants grew.

I grabbed his face, kissing him again, pushing my tongue back in his mouth, running it over his crooked bottom row of teeth --  I sucked at his bottom lip gently taking it between my teeth. 

He grabbed my hips with his large hands and sat me on the side of the cherry wood desk, the pressure from his fingers on my hips was almost too much for me. He brought his hand back up to my face and began to kiss me harder, slowly moving his lips to my neck as I carefully ran my hands through his hair.

My body tingled with nervous excitement as he began to unbutton my uniform, starting at the top, working his way down. His lips were back on me, slowly kissing my collar bone. I threw my head back, letting out a soft moan. I wanted him to devour me whole. 

He moved down to my chest barely grazing my skin with his teeth. He made quick work of freeing my breasts from my tight bra. Cupping my left breast he began to suck and lick at my soft sensitive skin. Running his thumb over my nipple, he brought his tongue to my right breast, slowly licking while squeezing my left. It felt so good the way he was paying attention to exactly what my body needed. I could only reply with another moan as I felt a wetness pool beneath my panties. 

He sat down in the chair and pulled me to the edge of the desk. He slowly pushed my legs apart revealing my completely soaked panties, and began to slowly rub his finger up and down over and over again. 

"Why don't you let me take care of you for a change, darling?" he said. 

“Yes.. please.. please...” I panted.

I felt him press his warm tongue against the wet fabric of my panties. Feeling his warm breath on my thigh, he began to slowly lick long wet stripes up and down my underwear. With the pressure of his tongue and the tip of his nose against the thin material that was so close to my heat, I only wanted him to remove the barrier between us and push his tongue in, but he only kept teasing me.

"Oh, Fuuckkk ...." I whispered, as I watched him continue to tease me.

He stood up and finally removed his shirt and unzipped his pants. Oh, he was so big I almost gasped at finally being able to see what he had been hiding from me. He stood against the desk and ran his long index finger along my panties but this time looping them around his finger and pulling them off. I could feel the cool air hit my wet core.

"Oh, just look at you." He hissed as he licked his left index finger and pushed it deep inside of me. His words alone were enough to push me over, but I held back. My body jerked back as he began to finger me.

"So good.." He whispered in a low voice, as he pushed a second finger in and began to pump them in and out. He muffled my moans by placing the fingers from his right hand in my mouth, while the fingers from his left hand were inside of me. I began to ride his hand hard while clutching onto the side of the desk. He rubbed my clit more and more with his thumb, pushing me closer to the edge. 

His hard cock was now directly against my wet folds as he stood between my legs, I wanted him to just finish the job so badly. He looked at me in awe, watching the pleasure across my face. I leaned forward pulling his face down to me, licking his wet lips. I lightly kissed and licked the little cuts and bruises across his beautiful face. I slowly moved my hips against his hard cock. "Mmhm," he moaned, trying to control himself as he began to buck his hips against my core.

"Fuuck, I want to be inside your tight wet cunt" he moaned.

“Please..." I begged as I thought about how incredible he would feel inside of me.

"Please what, love? Tell me what you need.". He moved his ear up to my lips. Fucking tease.

"Take Me. Fuck me…..  Ruin me." I said as I grazed his ear with my teeth, lightly pulling at his little hoop earring. 

“Ruin you?” he chuckled, pretending as if I had offended him. “I don’t know if I---.” 

Before he even finished his sentence - with one quick motion, he was deep inside of my wet, aching core. I let out a gasp as he began to thrust hard and fast, hitting my spot almost every time.

"Damooonnnn.. " I moaned. He pulled me up into a sitting position on the desk, pushing harder into me. I leaned into him, wrapping my legs tightly around him-- he began to pant and breathe heavy in my ear, while every now and then, kissing and licking at my shoulder. His eyes were dark and filled with lust, his breaths were quick and ragged.  I loved the sounds he made -  small little groans of pleasure. I gripped him, digging my nails into his burning skin, hoping to leave my mark. He looked so delicious, screwing his face up whenever I would clench myself around him as he buried his face into my neck.

"You feel..so.. incredible.." he said in between heavy breaths.  I bit my lip hard as I felt my stomach tighten again.

I felt him pull away, removing himself, causing me to let out a small whimper. His strong arms flipped me over, pushing me down, bending me over the desk. My breasts were now pressed tightly against the wooden surface.

He teased me again with his tip, running it up and down my wet folds, as he leaned forward, pressing me down, his large hands directly on top of mine, I felt a slight pressure from the weight of his body -- but I wanted to feel him so badly. I wanted to feel that force on me. He slowly began to kiss and lick my ear.

"Fuuckkk ---" was all I could get out before he slammed back into me again. I could feel his hands now gripping my shoulders, I felt him push his thumbs into my back-- hoping he would leave a mark on me, too -- I wanted to be his. Reaching his left hand over, he began to rub my clit harder and faster as he thrust into me. He was so big, and I was so wet. I could feel the edge of the desk rubbing against me, which made it harder for me to maintain control, it wasn’t going to be long. 

Damon let out a few low, sexy growls as he pushed into me -- it became too much. My orgasm hit hard.  I threw my head back as my whole body clenched and tightened. My legs went weak as I finally released all tension -- I could hardly hold myself up. Damon removed his grip and I pushed myself up from the desk. He was so gorgeous, his beautiful face was just staring right at me. 

“Oh, sweetheart, that felt good, didn’t it?” He smirked, while rubbing himself. I still wanted him, even after those intense waves of pleasure washed over me, I still really wanted him. He had such an affect on me.

“You really know what you’re doing, huh?” I managed to reply.

“I’ve had some practice.” he smirked again. “Mmm..now.. how about you help me feel good?”

I nodded. I would have done anything he asked me to. I laid back down on the desk, as he stood between my legs. I let out a few moans to try and entice him. “You are so fucking beautiful, tell me, where do you want it?”

I moved my hand to my stomach, I watched it rise and fall quickly with each breath. I was still trying to recover.  Damon began to rub himself harder. I watched as he threw his head back in pleasure. “Mpphh”. He moaned. It was so hot just watching him, knowing I was the one he wanted. His breaths became ragged as he reached the edge - suddenly his whole body jerked, as he released his warm, hot liquid on my stomach. He was breathing so hard. I was sitting up on my hands, leaning towards him. He reached out and pulled me close to his face, gently kissing my salty lips.

"That was.. everything I hoped it would be, love.” He paused.  “I just can't wait until I'm out of here."

I pulled back, looking him in the eye. "Oh..?" I said, not sure what he meant by that response. Damon could tell that I was a little concerned.

"Oh..” he chuckled. “Sweetheart, so we can do this all of the time, you know..?” His face was flushed and still slightly sweaty. He was so fucking gorgeous, I still could not believe what just happened. "I really, really want to take care of you. I want to do this properly, love. You deserve that. I want to make you feel so good. You're incredible in so many ways" he continued. “I want to be with you, if you'll have me.”

I grabbed his face, slowly running my thumb over his pink-tinged lips. His eyes were soft, he looked even more handsome, if that was even possible. 

"I would love nothing more...." I closed the space between us and brought my lips back up to his; I felt him smile. 

[snake-rot]

(EXCLAIMING)

(ORCHESTRA MUSIC BLARING)

(GROANS)

(WHIMPERS)

(GRUNTING)

(MYSTICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROANS)

(COUNTRY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(COUGHS)

Sweet home Alabama

Where the skies are so blue

WOMAN: Excuse me, sir, is there a commode?

Sweet home Alabama

(GRUNTING)

Lord, I'm coming home to you

(GRUNTS) Justin!

Quick, honey, take my picture. I got the pyramid in my hand.

(CAMERA CLICKING)

Yeah

Justin, you get back here right now!

No, stop!

GUARD 1: No, no, no! Stop him! GUARD 2: Go back! Don't climb!

(JUSTIN IMITATING AIRPLANE WHOOSHING)

Wait, wait.

Hold on. Easy, little boy.

Okay, stop, child! Stop right there. No!

(GASPS)

No, no, no, no, no! Oh! There he goes.

(GASPS)

Justin!

I've got him! I've got him!

(JUSTIN GRUNTS)

(AIR ESCAPING)

Outrage in Egypt tonight as it was discovered

that the Great Pyramid of Giza had been stolen

and replaced by a giant inflatable replica.

There is panic throughout the globe as countries and citizens

try to protect their beloved landmarks.

Law enforcement still has no leads,

leaving everyone to wonder, which of the world's villains

is responsible for this heinous crime?

And where will he strike next?

Gru: Freeze ray! Freeze ray! Freeze ray! [laughs evilly] Fred: Morning, Gru! How you doing? Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard, and I don't appreciate it. Fred: Sorry. You know dogs. They go wherever they wanna go. Gru: Unless they're dead. [laughs] I'm joking! Although, it is true. Anyway, have a good one. Fred: Okay. Yeah. Steamrolling whatever Gru: [groans] You've got to be pulling on my leg! Margo: Hello! Cookies for sale. Gru: Go away. I'm not home. Margo: Uh, yes, you are. I heard you. Gru: [gasps] No, you didn't. This... [monotone] is a recording. Margo: [scoffs] No, it isn't. Gru: Yes, it is. [o.s.] Watch this. Leave a message, beep. [Edith kicks the door] Gru: Ow! Agnes: Goodbye, recorded message. Margo: [o.s.] Agnes, come on. Gru: Huh? [screams] Kyle! Bad dog! No! No, no. Sit. My muffin. Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru: Ah, Dr. Nefario. Dr. Nefario: I know how you must be feeling. I, too, have encountered great disappointment, but, in my eyes, you will always be one of the greats. Gru: What? What happened? Dr. Nefario: It's all over the news! Some fella just stole a pyramid. They're saying he makes all other villains look... lame. pause Gru: Assemble the minions! [throws Kyle off of his arm] Minions, assemble! Minion: Okay. Okay. Hey! Gru: Looking good, Kevin! How is the family? Good? All right. That's my Billy boy! What up, Larry? Hello, everybody! Yeah, all right! Simmer down. Simmer down! Thank you, okay. Now, I realize that you guys probably heard about this other villain who stole the pyramids. Apparently, it's a big deal. People are calling it the crime of the century and stuff like that. But am I upset? No, I am not! A little, but we have had a pretty good year ourselves, and you guys are all right in my book. Minion: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Gru: No, no raises! You're not going to get any raises. What did we do? Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron! Nice! That's how I roll. Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh? But that's not all. We stole the Statue of Liberty, the small one from Las Vegas. And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower! Also Vegas. Okay, I wasn't going to tell you about this yet, but I have been working on something very big! Something that will blow this pyramid thing out of the water! And thanks to the efforts of my good friend Dr. Nefario... Dr. Nefario: Thank you! Gru: There he is. He's stylin'. Now, we have located a shrink ray in a secret lab, and once we take this shrink ray, we will have the capability to pull off the 'true crime of the century. We are going to steal... The Minions all pull out their weapons in response. Gru: Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet. One of the Minions, Dave, shoots his rocket launcher at a crowd of Minions. Gru: Hey. Dave, listen up, please! Dave: Ditto. One of the Minions Dave shot walks over to him and punches him on the shoulder. Gru: Next, we are going to steal, pause for effect, the moon! The Minions cheer in response. Gru: And once the moon is mine, the world will give me whatever I want to get it back! And I will be the greatest villain of all time! That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. [picks up his phone] Yes? Dr. Nefario: Hello, Gru? I've been crunching some numbers, and I really don't see how we can afford this. It can't be done. I'm not a miracle worker. Gru:Hey, chillax. I'll just get another loan from the bank. They love me! Margo: Edith, stop it! Edith: What? I'm just walking. Girls: Hi, Miss Hattie. We're back. Miss Hattie: Hello, girls! Agnes: Anybody come to adopt us while we were out? Miss Hattie: Hmm... Let me think. No! Edith immediately puts a mud pie on Miss Hattie's desk, much to her displeasure. Miss Hattie: Edith! What did you put on my desk? Edith: A mud pie. Miss Hattie: [sighs] You're never gonna get adopted, Edith. You know that, don't you? Edith: Yeah, I know. Miss Hattie: Good. So, how did it go, girls? Did we meet our quotas? Margo: Hmm... Sorta. We sold 43 mini-mints, 30 choco-swirlies and 18 coco-nutties. Miss Hattie: [gets up] Okay.

Well, you say that like it's a great sale day. [furious] Look at my face! Do you still think it's a great sale day? Edith rolls her eyes in response. Miss Hattie: [hangs up a portrait] Eighteen coco-nutties. I think we can do a little better than that, don't you? Yeah. We wouldn't want to spend the weekend in the Box of Shame, would we? No. Girls: No, Miss Hattie. Miss Hattie: Okay, good. Off you go. Go clean something of mine. Girls: Hi, Penny. Penny: Hi, guys. Gru: Hello, Mom. Sorry, I meant to call, but... Gru's Mom: I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. [Gru sighs in disgust] That was you, wasn't it? Or was it a villain who's actually successful? [laughs] Gru: Just so you know, Mom, I am about to do something that's very, very big, very important. When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud. Gru's Mom: Ha! [sarcastically] Good luck with that. Okay, I'm outta here. [hangs up the phone before sending her karate instructor flying] Gru: Gru to see Mr Perkins Receptionist: Yes, please have a seat. Neil Armstrong: That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. Young Gru: Ma, someday I'm going to go to the moon. Gru's Mom: I'm afraid you're too late, Son. NASA isn't sending the monkeys any more. Vector: Hey. I'm applying for a new villain loan. Go by the name of Vector. It's a mathematical term, a quantity represented by an arrow, with both direction and magnitude. Vector! That's me, 'cause I'm committing crimes with both direction and magnitude. Oh, yeah! Check out my new weapon. Piranha gun! Oh, yes! Fires live piranhas. Ever seen one before? No, you haven't. I invented it. Do you want a demonstration? Shoot! So difficult, sometimes, to get the piranha back inside of my... Receptionist: Mr Gru, Mr Perkins will see you now. Gru: So, all I need is money from the bank to build a rocket. And then, the moon is ours. Perkins: Wow! Well, very nice presentation. I'd like to see this shrink ray. Gru: Absolutely! Will do. Soon as I have it. Perkins: You don't have it? And yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money? Gru: Apparently. Perkins: Do you have any idea of the capital that this bank has invested in you, Gru? With far too few of your sinister plots actually turning a profit. How can I put it? Let's say this apple is you. If we don't start getting our money back... Get the picture? Look, Gru, the point is, there are a lot of new villains out there, younger than you, hungrier than you, younger than you. Like that young fellow out there named Vector. He just stole a pyramid! Gru: I've got it. I've got it. So, as far as getting money for the rocket... Perkins: Get the shrink ray, then we'll talk. Minion: Suckers! Suckers! Gru: We got it! What? Hey! Hey! What! Hey! No, no, no! You! Vectors: Now, maybe you'll think twice before you freeze someone's head! So long, Gru! Gru: Quick! We can't let him get away! Up ahead! Up ahead! Fire! Fire, now! Vector: You missed me! Gru: Come to papa! Take that. Vector: How adorable. Gru: Got you in our sights! Like taking candy from a... What? Vector: Hey, Gru! Try this on for size! Gru: That's weird. What is going... This is claustrophobic! No, no, no! Too small! This is too small for me! [groans] I hate that guy. Margo: ...and please watch over us, and bless that we'll have a good night's sleep. Edith: And bless that while we're sleeping, no bugs will crawl into our ears and lay eggs in our brains. Margo: Great. Thanks for that image, Edith. Agnes: And please bless that someone will adopt us soon, and that the mommy and daddy will be nice and have a pet unicorn. Amen. Margo/Edith: Amen. Agnes: Unicorns, I love them Unicorns, I love them Uni, uni, unicorns I love them Uni, unicorns, I could pet one If they were really real And they are So, I bought one so I could pet it Now it loves me Now I love it Gru: Don't you... What the... Good luck, little girls! Edith: Whoa! Cool. Margo: Hi! We're orphans from Miss Hattie's Home for Girls. Vector: I don't care. Beat it! Margo: Come on! We're selling

cookies so, you know, we can have a better future. Vector: Wait, wait! Do you have coco-nutties? Margo: Yeah. Gru: Light bulb. Dr Nefario! I'm going to need a dozen tiny robots disguised as cookies! Dr. Nefario: What? Gru: Cookie robots! Dr. Nefario: Who is this? - Gru: Oh, forget it. Mrs. Hattie: Well, it appears you have cleared our background check, Dr Gru. And I see you have made a list of some of your personal achievements. Thank you for that. I love reading. And I see you have been given the Medal of Honor and a knighthood. - Minions: Me, me, me. Me, me, me. Minion: Kevin? Mrs. Hattie: You had your own cooking show and you can hold your breath for 30 seconds? It's not that impressive. Minion: Idiot! - Minions: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Mrs Hattie: What in the name of... What? Gru: Well, here's the dealio. Things have been so lonely since my wife, Debbie, passed on. It's like my heart is a tooth, and it's got a cavity that can only be filled with children. I'm sorry. You are a beautiful woman. Do you speak Spanish? Mrs. Hattie: Do I look like I speak Spanish? Gru: You have a face como un burro. Mrs. Hattie: Well, thank you! Gru: Anyway, can we proceed with this adoption? So, so excited! Mrs. Hattie: Please tell Margo, Edith and Agnes to come to the lobby. Margo: I bet the mom is beautiful! Edith: I bet the daddy's eyes sparkle. Agnes: I bet their house is made of Gummi Bears. [Edith and Margo look at her curiously] I'm just saying it'd be nice. [picks up a Cheeto] Aww. My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly. Edith: That's a Cheeto. Agnes: Oh... [eats said Cheeto, making Edith and Margo recoil in disgust] Miss Hattie: Well, Debbie was a very lucky woman. [pause] Gru: Who's Debbie? Mrs Hattie: Your wife. Hi, girls! Girls, I want you to meet Mr Gru. He's going to adopt you. And he's a dentist! Agnes: Yeah! Margo: Hi. I'm Margo. This is Edith. And that's Agnes. Agnes: [sing-song] I got your leg, I got your leg! Gru: Okay, that is enough, little girl. Let go of my leg. Come on. You can do it. Agnes: Higher! Higher! Gru: Just release your grip. Wow! How do you remove them? Is there a command? Some nonstick spray? Crowbar? [sighs] Okay, girls, let's go. [They drove off in the distance.]Vector: Uh-huh! Oh, yeah! Pretty impressive! What are you looking at? Boo-ya! You got shrunk, tiny mouthwash! Take that! You done been shrunk! (His phone rings) Yello? I got the shrink ray, all right. No, I'm not playing with it. Gru? Don't make me laugh! No. P.S., he is not getting the moon, and P.P.S., by the time I'm done with him, he's gonna be begging for mercy. (Shrinks a toilet) Okay, bye. (Hangs up) Look at you, a little tiny toilet for a little tiny baby to... [The toilet pops out and water sprays him.]Vector: Curse you, tiny toilet! [Gru and the Girls arrive at Gru's Home.] Gru: "Okay, here we are. Home sweet home. Margo: So... This is, like, your house? [realizing] Wait a sec... You're the guy who pretended he was a recorded message! Gru: No, that was someone else. [Margo gives a skeptical look before she, Edith and Agnes enter Gru's house, with Gru following suite.] Agnes: [scared] Can I hold your hand? Gru: Uh... No. Edith: [looks around] When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this'd be more like "Annie". Gru: No, hey! [screams] Kyle, these are not treats. These are guests. Girls, this is Kyle, my... Dog. Kyle snarls in anger. Agnes: Ooh! Fluffy doggy! [approaches Kyle before he runs away, much to her disappointment] Margo: What kind of dog is that? Gru: He is a... I don't know. Margo: Do you really think that this is an appropriate place for little kids? 'Cause, uh... It's not. [Edith sees a closet that is sharp and goes in it.] Gru: No! No! Stay away from there! It's frag... [He sees juice spilling on the floor.]Both: (Gasps) Gru: Well, I suppose the plan will work with two. Edith: [muffled] Hey! It's dark in here. [Gru opens the iron maiden, revealing Edith, who spits out a straw]Edith: It poked a hole in my juice box. [They went to the

kitchen.] Gru: As you can see, I have provided everything a child might need. All right. Okay. As I was saying... (Edith knocked a bottle down) Gru: (Cont'd) Hey! Oh. Edith: Somebody broke that. Gru: "Okay, okay. Clearly, we need to set some rules. Rule number one. You will not touch anything. Margo: Uh-huh. What about the floor? Gru: Yes, you may touch the floor. Margo: What about the air? Gru: Yes, you may touch the air! Edith: (Gets out a laser gun) What about this? Gru: (Screams) Where did you get that? Edith: [shrugs] Found it. Gru: Okay. Rule number two. You will not bother me while I'm working. Rule number three. You will not cry or whine or laugh or giggle or sneeze or burp or fart! So, no, no, no annoying sounds. All right? Agnes: Does this count as annoying? [popping] Gru: Very! [sighs] I will see you in six hours. Margo: Okay, don't worry. Everything's going to be fine. We're gonna be really happy here. Right? Agnes? Gru: Question. What are these? Dr. Nefario: A dozen boogie robots! Boogie! Look at this. Watch me! Gru: Cookie robots. I said cookie robots. Why are you so old? Dr. Nefario: Okay. I'm on it. Margo: Hello? Agnes: TV! Margo: What is that? Edith: Whoa! That is cool! Come on! Agnes: I don't think he's a dentist.Dr. Nefario: We've been working on this for a while. It's a anti-gravity serum. I meant to close that. He'll be all right, I'm sure. Gru: Do the effects wear off? Dr. Nefario: So far, no. No, they don't. And here, of course, is the new weapon you ordered. Gru: No, no. I said "dart gun," not... Okay. Dr. Nefario: Oh, yes. 'Cause I was wondering under what circumstances would we use this? But, anyway. What I really wanted to show you was this. Gru: Now those are cookie robots! Agnes: La, la, la, la I love unicorns Gru: What are you doing here? I told you to stay in the kitchen! Margo: We got bored. What is this place? Edith: Can I drink this? Dr. Nefario: Do you want to explode? [Edith kicks him in the shin] Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru: Get back in the kitchen! Agnes: Will you play with us? Gru: No. Agnes: Why? Gru: Because I'm busy. Margo: [scoffs] Doing what? Gru: Umm... Okay, okay, you got me. The dentist thing is more of a hobby. In real life, I am a spy. And it is top secret, and you may not tell anybody, because if you do... Edith: What does this do? [She fires a laser and it hits Agnes's unicorn and it burns to ashes]Gru: Hey! Edith: Whoops. Agnes: My unicorn! You have to fix it. Gru: Fix it? Look, it has been disintegrated. By definition, it cannot be fixed. [Agnes gasps in shock, then starts holding her breath] Gru: That's freaking me out. What is she doing? Margo: She's gonna hold her breath until she gets a new one. Gru: [sighs] It is just a toy. Now stop it! (Agnes faints) Gru: Okay, okay! I'll fix it! Tim! Mark! Phil! This is very important. You have to get the little girl a new unicorn toy. Gru: Hey, hey, hey! A toy! Go, and hurry! What are those? Gru: They are my... Cousins. Jerry! Stuart! Watch them and keep them away from me please. [The three minions put on a disguise and head to the store.]Minions: Wow!- Wow! [Meanwhile the two minions and the girls are tossing toilet paper at each other. Gru comes up and he sees the Girls and the two minions having fun.]Edith: It was your cousin's idea. Jerry: What? Gru: Okay, bedtime. Girls: Aww... Minions: Aww... Gru: Not you two! Minions: Yay. Gru: Okey-dokey. Beddie-bye. All tucked in. Sweet dreams. Margo: Just so you know, you're never gonna be my dad. Gru: I think I can live with that. Edith: Are these beds made out of bombs? Gru: Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up. But try not to toss and turn. Edith: "Cool." Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story?" Gru: No. Agnes: But we can't go to sleep without a bedtime story. Gru: Well, then it's going to be a long night for you, isn't it? So, good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite. Because there are literally thousands of them. And there's probably something in your closet. Margo: He's just kidding, Agnes. Agnes: It's beautiful. Gru: Girls, let's go.

Time to deliver the cookies! Margo: Okay. But first, we're going to dance class. Gru: Actually, we're going to have to skip the dance class today. Margo: Actually, we can't skip the dance class today. We have a big recital coming up. We're doing an excerpt from Swan Lake. Agnes: Yeah, Swan Lake! Gru: That's fantastic. Wonderful. But we're going to deliver cookies! Come on! Margo: No. Gru: No? Margo: We're not going to deliver cookies until we do dance class. Really? Gru: Well, I am not driving you to dance class. So if you want to go, you are going to have to walk yourselves. What are you doing? Margo: Walking to dance class. Gru: Ya? Okay, fine. You just keep walking, because I'm really not driving you! Margo: Okay. Gru: You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru! Seriously, I'm going to count to three! And you had better be in this car! Here we go! One! Two! Teacher: ...three, four and five. And lift, and stretch. And one, and two... Agnes: Here you go. Gru: What is it? Agnes: Your ticket to the dance recital. You are coming, right? Gru: Of course, of course. I have pins and needles that I'm sitting on. Agnes: Pinkie promise? Gru: Oh, yes. My pinkie promises. All right. Our first customer is a man named Vector. Margo: But he's a V. You know, we're supposed to start with the A's. Then we go to the B's. Then we... Gru: Yes, yes! I went to kindergarten. I know how the alphabet works! I was just thinking that it might be nice to deliver Mr Vector's first. That is all. Almost over. It's almost over. Vector: Girls, welcome back to the fortress of Vector-tude! Do you have my cookies for me? Margo: Four boxes of mini-mints, two toffee totes, two caramel clumpies and fifteen boxes of coco-nutties. Vector: Exactly. I'd like to see somebody else order that many cookies. Not likely. Name one person who ordered more cookies than me. Margo: That'll be $52. Vector: Right. Seven, eight, nine... Tic Tacs! Where was I? Seven, eight, nine... Agnes: Why are you wearing pyjamas? Vector: These aren't pyjamas! This is a warm-up suit. Edith: What are you warming up for? Vector: Stuff. Agnes: What sort of stuff? Vector: Super-cool stuff you wouldn't understand. Agnes: Like sleeping? Vector: They are not pyjamas! Here you go, 52 big ones. Bye! Gru: Come on! Vector: What the...? Quiet down, fish. Down, boy!Gru: [laughs] We did it! Come on, girls, let's go! Margo: But what about the other people who ordered cookies? Gru: Life is full of disappointments... For some people. [chuckles ominously] Agnes: (Screams) Gru: Don't do that! Agnes: Super Silly Fun Land! Can we go? Please? Gru: No. Edith: But we've never been. And it's the funnest place on earth! Gru: "Don't care." Girls: Please? Please? We'll never ask for anything else, ever again! Pretty please? Please? Come on! Come on! Gru: "Light bulb." Edith: Come on! Gru: "Goodbye, have fun. [He began to leave. But a attendant of the roller coaster stopped him.]Carnival Ride Worker: Sorry, dude. They can't ride without an adult. Gru: What? [groans] [Soon Gru gets sick from the roller coaster ride.]Agnes: Oh, my gosh! Look at that fluffy unicorn! He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die! Margo: You've gotta let us play for it! Gru: No, no, no. Agnes: Come on! Gru: How much for the fluffy unicorn?Carnival Barker: Well, it is not for sale. But all you gotta do to win it is knock down that little spaceship there. It's easy! Agnes: Yay! Again! Margo: Wait! Edith: Come on. One more time! Agnes: Just one more. I accidentally closed my eyes. I hit it! I hit it! Edith: That was cool. Awww. Gru: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that? She hit that. I saw that with my own eyes.Carnival Barker: Hey, buddy, let me explain something to you. You see that little tin spaceship? You see how it's not knocked over? Do you know what that means, professor? It means you don't get the unicorn! Somebody's got a frowny face. Boo! Better luck next time! Gru: Okay, my turn. [Gru uses a fire gun and it blows up the whole booth.]Gru: "Knocked over!" Agnes: It's so fluffy! Yeah! Margo: That was

awesome! Edith: You blew up the whole thing! Agnes: Let's go. Let's try another game!Dr. Nefario: Gru, do you mind if I have a quick word? Gru: Okay, girls, go play. I got the shrink ray! Cotton candy! Dr. Nefario: We have 12 days until the moon is in optimum position. We can't afford any distractions! Gru: Get me Perkins. Sorry to bother you, Mr Perkins, but I figured that you would want to see this! Mr. Perkins: What? Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.Gru: Now, the rest of the plan is simple. I fly to the moon. I shrink the moon. I grab the moon. I sit on the toi-let. What? (girls start laughing) Sorry. Sorry! Could you excuse me for just one second? I told you not to touch my things. I told you, I told you. I've told you a thousand times. Margo: Hey, can we order pizza? Gru: Pizza? You just had lunch. Edith: Not now, for dinner. Gru: Dinner? Just... Fine, fine, fine, whatever. Just get back in there! Margo: Can we get stuffed crust? Agnes and Jerry: Stuffed crust!Gru: I'll stuff you all in the crust! Agnes: [giggles] You're funny! Gru: Just don't come out of that room again! All right. Sorry about that. Where were we? Mr. Perkins: You were sitting on the toilet. Gru: No, no, no! No, I'm sorry. It was a little attempt at humor. I know how much you like to laugh... [Mr. Perkins glares at him] Inside. Eh, now, I was saying... [the door suddenly opens] You don't seem terribly focused, Gru. Believe me, I am completely focused. Right? Edith: Hello! Mr. Perkins: What? Edith: That guy is huge! Agnes: Are we on TV? Mr. Perkins: What are those? Children?Gru: What are you doing? I told you to stay out of here! No, no, no! *Agnes: Freeze ray!Mr. Perkins: Mr Gru? Gru: Okay. As I was saying... Mr. Perkins: No need to continue. I've seen quite enough. Gru: But my plan... Mr. Perkins: Is a great plan. I love everything about your plan, except for one thing. You. Young Gru: Look, Mom, I drew a picture of me landing on the moon! Look, Mom, I made a prototype of the rocket out of macaroni! Look, Mom, I made a real rocket based on the macaroni prototype! Gru: I don't understand. Mr. Perkins: Let's face reality, Gru. You've been at this for far too long with far too little success. We're gonna put our faith, our money, into a... Well, a younger villain. Gru: But I... Mr. Perkins: It's over. Goodbye, Gru. Gru: Now, I know there have been some rumours going around that the bank is no longer funding us. Well, I am here to put those rumours to rest. They are true. In terms of money, we have no money. So how will we get to the moon? The answer is clear. We won't. We are doomed. Now would probably be a good time to look for other employment options. I know. I have fired up my resume as I suggest that all of you do, as well. What is it? Can't you see that I am in the middle of a pep talk? Yes! Yes, we will build our own rocket using this and whatever else we can find! Grab everything! Hit the junkyards! Take apart the cars! Who needs the bank? Let's go. Let's go! Mom! What are you doing here? Gru's Mom: And here he is in the bathtub. Look at his little buns. Gru: Mom. Not cool. Gru's Mom: And here, he's all dressed up in his Sunday best. Margo: He looks like a girl! Gru's Mom: Yes, he does. An ugly girl! Agnes: You're funny! Edith: Yes! Mine's shaped like a dead guy! Receptionist: Mr. Perkins, your son is here. Mr. Perkins: Send him in. Vector: Hey, Dad. You wanted to see me? Mr. Perkins: Yes, I did, Victor. - Vector: I am not Victor anymore. Victor was my nerd name. Now I am Vector! Mr. Perkins: Sit down. Do you know where the shrink ray is? Vector: Duh! Back at my place. Mr. Perkins: Oh, is that right? Back at your place? That's cool. I guess Gru must just have one that looks exactly like it! Vector: What the...?! Those girls sold me cookies! Mr. Perkins: Do you have any idea how lucrative this moon heist could be? I give you the opportunity of a lifetime, and you just blow it! Vector: No, I didn't. Mr. Perkins: Oh, really?Vector: You just wait until Gru sees my latest weapon. Squid-launcher! Oh, yeah! Man:

There's a squid on my face!Vector: Don't worry. The moon is as good as ours. Gru: Come on now, it's bedtime. Did you brush your teeth? Let me smell. Let me smell. You did not! Put on your PGs. Hold still. Okay, seriously! Seriously! This is beddie-bye time, right now. I'm not kidding around. I mean it! Edith: But we're not tired! Gru: Well, I am tired. Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story? [pause] Gru: No. Agnes: Pretty please? Gru: The physical appearance of the "please" makes no difference. It is still no, so go to sleep. Edith: But we can't. We're all hyper! Margo: And without a bedtime story, we'll just keep getting up and bugging you. All night long. Gru: [sighs] Fine. All right, all right. Sleepy Kittens. Sleepy Kittens? What are these? Agnes: Puppets. You use them when you tell the story. Gru: Okay, let's get this over with. "Three little kittens loved to play, they had fun in the sun all day. "Then their mother came out and said, 'Time for kittens to go to bed."' Wow! This is garbage. You actually like this? Agnes: Keep reading! Edith: Come on! Gru: All right, all right, all right. "Three little kittens started to bawl, "'Mommy, we're not tired at all.' "Their mother smiled and said with a purr, "'Fine, but at least you should brush your fur."' Edith: Now you brush the fur. Gru: This is literature? A 2-year-old could have written this. All right. "Three little kittens with fur all brushed "said, 'We can't sleep, we feel too rushed! ' "Their mother replied, with a voice like silk, "'Fine, but at least you should drink your milk."' Agnes: Now make them drink the milk. Gru: I don't like this book. This is going on forever. "Three little kittens, with milk all gone, rubbed their eyes and started to yawn. "'We can't sleep, we can't even try.' Then their mother sang a lullaby. "'Good night kittens, close your eyes. Sleep in peace until you rise. "'Though while you sleep, we are apart, "'your mommy loves you with all her heart."' The end. Okay, good night. Agnes: Wait! Gru: What? Agnes: What about good night kisses? Gru: No, no. There will be no kissing or hugging or kissing. Margo: He is not gonna kiss us good night, Agnes. Agnes: I like him. He's nice.Edith: [turns off her light] But scary. Like Santa! Dr. Nefario: Only 48 hours till the launch, and all systems are go. Gru: About that, I was thinking that maybe we could move the date of the heist. Dr. Nefario: Please tell me this is not as a result of the girls' dance recital, is it? Gru: No, no, no! The recital? Don't... That's stupid! I just think it's kind of weird to do it on a Saturday. I was thinking, maybe a heist is a Tuesday thing, right? Dr. Nefario: Gru, you and I have been working on this for years. It's everything we've dreamed of. Your chance to make history, become the man who stole the moon! But these girls are becoming a major distraction! They need to go. If you don't do something about it, then I will. Gru: I understand. Dr. Nefario: Good. Minion: Butt. Butt. Butt. Gru: All right. Now, when we put our cups together, we will make the "clink" sound with our mouths. Ready? Edith? Gru: and Edith: Clink. Gru: There we go. And now we drink. And Agnes? Gru and Agnes: Clink. Gru: Very good! Excuse me, girls. Girls: Come on! Gru: Don't worry, I'll be back. Keep clinking. - Clink, clink. - Clink, clink.Gru: Miss Hattie, what are you doing here? Miss Hattie: I'm here for the girls. I received a call that you wanted to return them. [Gru gives her a quizzical look] And also, I did purchase a Spanish dictionary. [swats Gru's head with the dictionary] I didn't like what you said. Gru: But... I will get the girls ready. Agnes: Don't let her take us, Mr. Gru! Tell her you wanna keep us. Mrs. Hattie: All right, girls. Come on, let's go. Margo: Goodbye, Mr. Gru. Thanks for everything. Dr. Nefario: I did it for your own good. Come on, let's go get that moon. Gru: Right. What is this for? The recital? I am the greatest criminal mind of the century. I don't go to little girls' dance recitals! Dr. Nefario: Opening launch bay

doors. Commencing launch sequence. And we are good to go in T minus 10 seconds. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six... Vector: Oh, yeah! Gru: Nice work, Doctor. All systems go. Vector: Boo-ya! My flight suit. Oh, yeah! Once again, the mighty... Gru: I've got it! I've got the moon! I've got the moon. I can make it. Dr. Nefario: Wait a minute! Jerry: Kevin! Gru: Come on! Come on! Agnes: He's still not here. Margo: Why would he come? He gave us up. Agnes: But he pinkie promised! Teacher: Girls, girls, places. Edith: No, we can't start yet! We're still expecting someone. Agnes: Can we just wait a few more minutes? Teacher: All right. But just a few more minutes. Margo: He's not coming, guys. Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru, can you hear me? Quick, we have to warn him, and fast!Gru: Okay, okay. There's the library. That's Third Street. The dance studio... There! There! There it is! Janitor: Sorry, buddy. Show's over.Gru: Over? Gru: Vector, open up! Vector: First give me the moon. Then we'll talk. Agnes: Mr. Gru! Vector: Zip it, Happy Meal. Gru: Now, the girls. Vector: Actually, I think I'll hold on to them a little while longer. Gru: No! Vector: Oh, yeah! Unpredictable! Gru: Listen close, you little punk. When I get in there, you are in for a world of pain! Vector: [laughs sarcastically] I'm really scared. Agnes: He is gonna kick your butt. Vector: What? He punched my shark! Dr. Nefario: There he is! Hang on, Gru. Oh, no! Gru: Vector has the girls. Go! Dr. Nefario: What happened to the ship? It's big again! Not as big as the moon is going to be! Gru: What? Dr. Nefario: The larger the mass of an object, the quicker the effects of the shrink ray wear off! I call it the Nefario Principle. I just came up with it now, actually. Gru: Oh, no! Margo: Did you see that? Girls: Vector! Help! Vector! Over here! Vector: Hey! What are you girls doing back there? Girls: The moon! Watch out! Vector: Ouch! Gru: Get as close in as you can. You got it. Margo: Mr Gru, up here! Agnes and Edith: Mr Gru! Gru: Okay, girls! Girls! You're going to have to jump. Edith: Jump? Are you insane? Gru: Don't worry, I will catch you. Margo: You gave us back! Gru: I know, I know. And it is the worst mistake I ever made. But you have to jump now. Margo: It'll be okay. Gru: Okay, girls. Margo: Jump now! Gru: Margo, I will catch you. And I will never let you go again. Vector: Not so fast! Gru: No! Margo: Let me go! Gru: Margo! I'm coming, Margo. Hang on! I got you.Vector: No! Oh, poop. News Reporter: This time, good triumphs, and the moon has been returned to its rightful place in the sky. But once again, law enforcement is baffled, leaving everyone to wonder, who is this mysterious hero? And what will he do next? Gru: Okay, girls. Time for bed. Edith: Come on! We want a story. Agnes: Three sleepy kittens! Gru: Oh, no! Sorry. That book was accidentally destroyed maliciously. Tonight we are going to read a new book. This one is called One Big Unicorn by... Who wrote this? Me! I wrote it. Look, it's a puppet book! Here, watch this. That's the horn! Agnes: This is gonna be the best book ever! Gru: Not to pat myself on the back, but, yes, it probably will be. Here we go. "One big unicorn, strong and free "thought he was happy as he could be. "Then three little kittens came around "and turned his whole life upside down." Edith: Hey, that one looks like me! Gru: No, what are you talking about? These are kittens! Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. "They made him laugh. "They made him cry. "He never should have said goodbye. "And now he knows he could never part "from those three little kittens "that changed his heart. "The end." Okay, all right. Good night. Margo: I love you. Gru: I love you, too. No, no! All right. Didn't I get you already? They're very good! Gru's Mom: I'm so proud of you, Son. You've turned out to be a great parent! Just like me. Maybe even better. Gru: No, I'm fine. Go ahead. No, no, no! THE END Hey, Carl! Hey. No, no, no. Me, me, me. John? No, no. Me, me, me. Oh,

poop. Oh, no! Stop! Stop! Hello, I am Gru. Back to work, back to work! Back to…

IS THIS THE ENTIRE FUCKING SCRIPT?

[softhxtch]

TITTLE: Just Be Here

SUMMARY: Reader just finished a case and her husband, Aaron Hotchner is always there to support her. 

PAIRING: female! reader x Aaron Hotchner

CHARACTERS: reader, Aaron Hotchner, Emily Prentiss and David Rossi (literally for a second), Allison (OC)

WARNINGS: child assault and abuse; mentions of misscariage, alcohol usage, body fluids (blood, urine, vomit), pornography.

WORD COUNT: 3,5K

A/N: am i back? i don’t know hahah, but it’s something, right? again in this story Jack doesn’t really exist, sorry. and again CAC - Crimes Against Children.

'Hey, sweetie. You're safe, okay? Nobody's gonna hurt you anymore.', you whispered taking little girl into your arms. She was sobbing quietly with tears falling down her pink cheeks. She was no more than three years old, still in her purple pajamas, that were dirty form all the body fluids person can imagine and also dirty room she was held in. 'You're safe, Allison. You're safe.', you kept repeating and little girl just held her hands around you even tighter.

You looked around the room and the whole sight was just horrible. No windows, barely any lights, cages, blood and urine all over the floor. Just an awful place to be in let alone to live for months. Even the smallest thought of what was going on before the whole team came in gave you shivers and blood started to boil inside you. The place was there for years at that point and no one knew about it. You were just looking at your teammates, taking the rest of the kids out of the building. Some were crying, some were screaming and some were just clinging to the agents hoping that they would never comeback. And they never will. You would make sure of that.

' Allison, we have to go.', you said quietly, trying not to scare her. But little girl just shook her head and tightened her arms around your neck. 'We have to go. You need to see a doctor. It's scary, I know, but I'm gonna be with you all the time, okay?'

It wasn't easy to convince Allison to come out of the building, but after some negotiations and conversations with you she agreed. You're holding her in your arms as close as possible, trying to avoid the blue and red lights that were blinding both of you in the dark night.

Hospitals were always the last place that you're wanted to be. If you were the it only meant that either someone from your team or family was injured or one of the victims from your case were in tragic condition.

To put it straight, hospitals were never a good sign.

But you couldn't go home, not just yet. You promised Allison, that you would be with her this whole time, so you were also there when she got a check up from the pediatrician. You were holding her hand, caressing the back of it from time to time just to reassure her that you're there. Sometimes your would just add how great she was doing and how strong it is.

'Home.', Allison whined as doctor was checking on one of her bruised legs. Few tears fell down her cheeks, which made your hear break. It was horrible to seeing anyone in that position, but especially a child.

'You're doing great, Allison. Just few more minutes, okay?', you said quietly, taking hair out of her forehead.

'I just need to check the other leg and then you can have a long nap, till morning. How does that sound?', doctor asked and written down something on her notepad.

'I think it's great! Do you, Sonnie?', you said with a happy voice, looking at a little girl. She just nodded, still pouting from her cry few seconds ago. 'I'll be right back.', you said when you heard familiar phone ring. Doctor nodded understanding, but Allison held your hand not wanting to let you go. ' Allison, I'll be back in few minutes. I just need to answer that call, okay? You will be able to see me through the glass. I'm not going anywhere and until then you'll stay with Doctor Ashley.', you explained.

She wasn't convinced at all. It took you few more minutes for to actually let go of your hand. You explained everything a least three times. Doctor eyed you few times, but you just tried to ignore her. After years of working with children you knew how long it sometimes takes to convince them. Especially the ones that have been seriously hurt. They just wanted someone to be with them through the whole process and you understood it one hundred percent.

You sent Allison a small smile, saying one more time, that you'll be back in few minutes. After that you left the room and took out phone, dialing number that called you before.

'Hi.', you heard deep, yet soft voice on the other side. You sighed and replied with the same thing. 'Long night?'

'Yeah and I can't even see the end of it.', you answered and heard your husband's laugh. 'It wasn't a joke.', you added, rolling your eyes.

'I know. But it's kind of ironic considering that the sun will be up in less than an hour.', Aaron said. You could hear him moving around the house. Walking from bathroom to bedroom, probably getting ready for work. 'How are the kids?'

'Fine, if you could say it after living in a basement for most of your life and posing for creepy middle aged men.', you answered, feeling the shivers on your arms. The images that you saw literally just came back. And you can expect they will be coming back more often, but this time in your nightmares.

'All alive?', Aaron asked. You could hear him doing something in the kitchen, which made you smile, still looking at Allison. You actually would do everything to be right now with him in that kitchen. Waiting for his famous muffins with bacon and eggs, like he would do whenever both of you had day off.

'Yes, all eight of them.', you nodded. 'You're heading to work now? It's a bit early, even for you.'

'Not yet.', he answered quickly. You could hear another chews from the other side, which actually made your stomach going louder. 'But yesterday I picked up from the post office that coffee table, that you ordered and I thought I would put it together.'

'You're gonna put a coffee table together? At-', you asked surprised, looking at the watch on your phone. '-4:38 in the morning? Are you okay?', you added with a laugh.

'What can I say? I'm just bored without you.', he answered. Right after that you heard a loud noise from the other side and a quiet curse from Aaron.

'You're okay?', you asked, furrowing you brows.

'Yes. I'm looking for the box with all the tools.', he replied. 'I think I'll ask Morgan about them. He'll know what I should use.'

'How about you leave it to me, huh? I'll do it, because we don't want another trip to ER. It'll be third time this year, they'll assume that I'm assaulting you.', you laughed, hearing just quick 'hey!' from your husband.

For the first time in hours you actually felt nice. You didn't had constant fear in your head about the case. You weren't even thinking about it, right now what you were thinking about was Aaron and that stupid coffee table. And he knew about it, that was the reason why he called. After you were in a car with Allison and two policemen, you texted him that the case was over and you're headed to the hospital with victims. Both of you always do it, just to reassure each other that the other person is fine. Aaron on top of that would always call you. He's a very light sleeper, even waking up when you stir in bed sometimes, so every vibrations of his phone wakes him up. No matter what the time is on the clock, he always calls you. He knows how much you love your job and how saving kids was your thing. You loved it, after few years in narcotics unit you know you found your place. But Aaron also knew that you get very into the cases and you involve yourself a lot and if the case goes wrong you blame yourself really hard. Especially being a unit chief, just like him. So he always tried to light the mood even just a little and talk about the day, whatever comes to his mind.

'You're staying in the hospital, right?', it almost wasn't a question. It wasn't anything new to be honest. A lot of the times you would comeback to the hospital with the victims and especially with this case. He knew it wouldn't be different. You were working on it for over a month and it was draining you.

'Don't think I have a choice.', you admitted, looking back at Allison who was also starring at you. The doctor stopped examination and was about to leave. 'One of the girls won't let me go.'

'Just be careful, okay? And take care. Don't forget to eat something.', he reminded, knowing the previous situations.

'I will.', you reassured him. 'I love you.'

'I love you too, sweetheart. Give me a call later in a day.', Aaron said and you agreed.

After you said your goodbyes, you put the phone in the pocket and went back to the room. Allison immediately opened her arms and you laughed coming closer.

'You're back!', she said loudly, which made you laugh even more. Doctor Ashley smiled at both of you and left the room.

'I said I will.', you reminded her, patting her head. You could clearly see the tiredness in her eyes and how hard she was trying not to fall asleep. 'I think it's good time for a sleep.', you proposed, but Jade just shook her head immediately, taking back. ' Allison, you need to sleep.'

'Not sleepy.', she answered quietly, putting knees closer to her chest. 'Don't want to sleep.'

'You've been awake for a long time, Sonnie. You need to rest. I do too. Everyone needs to sleep so they will have energy for the next day.', you explained, but she once again shook her head. 'I'll be there the whole time. Nothing's gonna happen to you. You're safe.'

'Seven minutes?', she asked, trying to stop the yaw. You nodded and observed how she put her head on the pillow, drifting away from the real world.

Aaron Hotchner looked at his watch for the tenth time in the last 8 minutes. He signed and went back to signing papers in front him.

It was a slow day. Most paper work days were slow, but this one was even slower. He just couldn't focus. His thoughts were everywhere but in that office. He was thinking about his wife and what she's about to at that moment, probably still at hospital with the little girl. It was literally breaking his heart when he was thinking about your job and side effects, but also about your personal issues.

Being married for almost six years and together over eight, was something he was very proud of. He loved you with his whole heart and couldn't see anyone but you. The whole team always loved to see when a woman would flirt with Aaron, because it was always so funny to see him nicely declining the actions. Aaron Hotchner was a strong man with a very intimidating vibe, his voice could literally break you into a meltdown and get when a woman would approach him his eyes would always look for you. He just couldn't see his world existing without you.

With that being said he also knows you very well. Whenever something was wrong, he could feel it. Just from the look in your eyes or movement. You almost didn't have to talk to have a conversation. He understood you without any words and so did you.

After long nights when there were only you two together, Aaron knew what you wanted. Be knew all your dreams and wishes. Where you would like to go for vacations or favourite cuisine. Things that he could control. He also knew about your dream job and family wishes. Things he couldn't control and everytime Aaron would think about this, his heart would break into thousand pieces. Because if he could he would give you everything that you wanted and to do that he would sacrifice anything he could.

Quiet sound of a clock, that was announcing noon, got Aaron out of his thoughts. He looked at the clock just to assure himself of the hour and pressed his lips into thin line. Then he just closed the files on the rest, took coat and walked out of the room. Aaron walked to his friend's office and knocked on the door. He opened them after quick 'come in'.

'Dave, I'm gonna be back in an hour.', Aaron said, looking at the older man working on his papers. He looked up with pen still between his fingers.

'Everything's okay?', Dave asked and got quick nod from Aaron. 'Y/N's at the hospital again?'

'Yeah, they finished the case few hours ago so I'm sure she hasn't ate anything since.', he explained. 'I'm just gonna bring her food and come back.'

'No problem. If anything happens, we'll call you.', David said, waving younger man off. Aaron just laughed and closed the door. Then he walked down the stairs, wanting to leave the office.

'Hey, Hotch! Are you going again to get some food?', Emily's voice stopped him from going further. He turned around to face not only her, but three other agents. 'You're going outside, right?'

'Yes, Emily.', he sighed. 'But I'm not going to the place you love to eat from.'

'I figured. But maybe you would want to do us a favor and go there? Since you're already going outside the office.', she explained and Derek started to come closer with JJ right behind him. 'Look, it's raining outside and it's pointless to have two wet agents in the office. We will pay for the gas and also your food, huh?'

'Just text me your order and I'll see what I can do.', Aaron said, rolling his eyes slightly. Then he turned around and started walking towards the elevators, still hearing voices of agents behind him, who were deciding on the order.

Pediatric floor of the hospital was as always busy. Kids running around, parents trying to keep up with them, crying children from everywhere you can imagine and on top of that walls with so many colours, that he thought that someone vomited on them. He had no problem of finding the room where you were. Of course with a help from nurses.

Aaron slowly opened the door from the hospital room. He was expecting for either you or the child to be asleep and he didn't want to wake anybody up. But the sight inside made just his heart to melt.

You were sitting on the couch with Allison sleeping in your arms. Her head was on your chest and arms were really tight around the back. Her moth were slightly open, just like yours. But you also had your head hung back and he was sure he'd hear your complaints about the neck pains for the next week.

Aaron slowly put the package with your favourite food and something tasty for children on the small table near the door. Then he took the blanket from the bed and put it over you and the little girl, knowing how cold you must be from laying down in one place for so long. After that he just put a light kiss on your forehead and with one last look he left the room.

Aaron got to the elevator and took out his phone, checking out one message from Emily.

If you are going to the place near the hospital and there's a girl with short red hair, then say that you would like to order for Agent Prentiss 😘

He furrowed his brows at the message and dialed her right away.

'Did I say something wrong?', she answered after one signal.

'How this girl supposed to know your order?', he asked, looking at the numbers of elevator going down.

'She'll know, trust me. I've been there many time.', Emily laughed and Aaron could practically see her smile through the phone.

'Whatever.', he sighed, hearing the ding from the elevator. 'Oh and Prentiss?', Aaron called and heard quick 'yeah' from the other side. 'Stop sending me emojis. It's highly unprofessional to do it to your boss and it's making me uncomfortable.', he ended, walking out of the hospital.

You could physically feel lighter closing the door to you home. Everything related to work you always tried to leave outside this house and treat this place like an escape. And it was a long few weeks, so you were nothing but happy and relieved that it's over.

The house was quiet and dark. You could only see dim light from the living room and just thinking about it made you smile. You took off your jacked and boots, leaving the bag at the usual place and started walking towards the light. As you saw Aaron sitting on the couch with his eyes closed, you smiled even wider. His feet were on the coffee table and he had a glass of whiskey in his hand.

You leaned on the door frame and with arms crossed on the chest, you observed him.

'I'm awake.', Aaron said with raspy voice. You knew that he was probably sitting here for a while already.

'I know.', you answered and started walking towards the cabinet with alcohols. 'Aaron Hotchner is at home before me. What's happening in this world? Did they closed the FBI building?', you joked while pouring wine into a glass and sitting next to him.

'Very funny.', he answered with a sarcasm. He put arms around your shoulders and kissed your temple.

'I actually am.', you said, taking a sip. 'But I'm glad you're here.'

'Anytime.', he hummed, placing one more kiss on your head.

'Except the time you're working.', you joked and he just rolled his eyes. 'Thank you for the dinner, by the way. Although I would get something to eat myself, you know?'

'Yeah, you would probably eat your first meal of the day right now. I know you, Y/N.', he said, caressing your arm. 'So, how's the girl?'

'Allison?', you asked, reminding yourself of her beautiful smile in your head. Aaron only nodded, taking a sip from his glass, telling you to continue. 'She's gonna be okay, I hope. But she went through a lot.'

'You got close to her.'

'Yeah.', you admitted. 'I know what you think, Aaron. I know that it's not a good thing, I Get close to those kids and then I come home and they're not there. I know how this looks like. But I swear I just want to help them.'

'I know. But also you need to realize, that when they'll go to foster care they won't have someone to look after them every minute they're there. That there's gonna be many more kids their age and the attention you're giving them right now won't be given to them anymore.', he finished, looking down at you.

'Maybe they don't have to go to foster care.', you whispered, hugging your husband closer.

'You want to adopt a child?', Aaron asked slowly getting to the conclusion and realizing something else. 'You wanna adopt Allison.'

'I do.', you admitted. 'But I won't do it.', you added, sitting straight. Aaron just gave you questioning look. 'They found her mother in Portland, she'll come and get her tomorrow. Ignoring the fact that she doesn't have any job, is living in a two bedroom apartment with four other roommates and all the money goes to the alcohol. Yeah, so Allison has a bright future ahead of her.'

'You never know.', he answered. You put head on his chest once again and laid there for few minutes in silence, trying to relax.

'So, you actually put that table together.', you said keeping the eyes in small brown table in front of you, with Aaron's feet on top.

'I thought you'll never notice.', he answered almost sounding hurt.

'Oh, I did. Just wanted to hold the suspension for a little while.', you smiled and kissed him on the lips. 'Derek did it, am I right?', you whispered, narrowing your eyes.

'No.', he answered simply.

'Liar.', you whispered again, kissing him one more time, but stopping after you hear his phone going off. 'Everything's okay?', you asked.

'Yeah, just Emily.' he answered, but started explaining seing your confused face. 'I gave Emily's number to one of the girls that she has crush on from the restaurant. And I guess she had a good evening.', he ended and showed you the text.

SSA aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner, you are truly THE  man 🥰🤭💗🍑

[gendercensus]

On plural inclusivity and "plural they"

In the Gender Census feedback box and elsewhere I have frequently been asked:

to make the annual Gender Census survey more inclusive of plural participants, and

to add "plural they" to the checkbox pronouns list alongside "singular they" in order to be inclusive of plural participants.

It's a rambling topic, so I'll address them in sections in that order.

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INCLUSIVITY RE: PLURAL PARTICIPANTS

I've been inviting plural people to take part in a short survey about the Gender Census, asking questions that help me get a feel for the issues involved and asking about whether people feel included in the survey (and why or why not). At the time of writing there have been 139 responses, I will leave it open for ongoing feedback, and I'm unlikely to be publishing the spreadsheet of results in full because the responses are off-topic and very personal. However, I will refer to some individual responses as well as my personal experience discussing inclusion with plural systems.

Here's a graph based on the responses so far:

I'm asking for direct feedback about this issue because over the past few years plural folks have been one of the more consistently vocal groups in the feedback box of the survey and elsewhere, which would usually be fine, but I've been finding it very overwhelming and confusing. I think that's because the advice/demands/questions have been unusually inconsistent, often to the point of being in direct opposition to each other, and the result is that I have no idea what to do.

Before now, most plural people have understood that it's quite a nuanced issue. When asked I would explain that if they felt that filling it in once for the whole system made more sense they should do that, and if individual system members felt strongly that they should participate alone then they could do so.

This year it got to the point where I had to make a decision and write unambiguous, easy-to-follow guidance about how plural people should fill in the survey, because I had one system submitting dozens of responses and giving the exact same three points of feedback, paraphrased, over and over - making it look like many unconnected people felt strongly about these particular issues, when in reality it was all this one system. I decided that, to be as fair as possible, plural people should fill in the survey once per body.

When I posted about the "once per body" policy on social media I received very little direct feedback, which leaves me in the position of not knowing whether that's because I did it right and you have no complaints or because you've all jumped ship! The statistics and comments from the plural feedback survey are very helpful in this regard:

It seems that plural participants, on the whole, are fairly understanding about it all, often supportive, and are still able to participate. ("Unknown" and "no strong feelings" together are a much higher proportion than I expected.) Some positive feedback included appreciation for the ability to select as many gender identities and pronouns as one wants. Common arguments against the policy include feeling that system members are not treated as people in their own right, which is understandable; the Gender Census is designed to present practicable data about nonbinary people for use within a system that assigns one identity per body, socially and bureaucratically. A "once per body" policy makes sense when prioritising nonbinary people, but adds to the list of crap that only plural people have to struggle through when they're not the main focus of the research.

I was surprised that only a couple of people pointed out that some systems have amnesia between members, and so some systems may participate more than once per body unintentionally. (I understand that this is unavoidable, and I certainly wouldn't be upset about it. Sometimes non-plural people participate more than once by accident, too! On the scale we're talking about, I'm unlikely to even notice it happening.)

Back when I first started to get requests to make the Gender Census more plural-inclusive, my first move was to ask people what exactly they felt excluded by. Responses to this have been continuously nebulous, to the extent that I don't think I have ever made any design changes to the annual survey at all as a result. I also asked what they would do to improve the survey and help them to feel included, but this has yielded very few viable ideas for how to move forward, just because so many of the ideas that people suggest are mutually exclusive.

As an example, I spoke to one member of a system who expressed, understandably, that their experience of themselves as plural inextricably affected their experience of their gender(s), and after some discussion they concluded that the two were so intertwined that it made the most sense for it to be included in the identity question, e.g. a checkbox called "plural" alongside nonbinary, genderqueer, trans, etc. I explained that I don't arbitrarily add things to the checkbox list, but it would be counted if it was typed into a textbox underneath, and if it went over 1% I would consider adding it to the checkbox list. They became increasingly angry. The only way this situation would make sense for them moving forward was if I added "plural" as an identity checkbox option immediately. Conversely, just a couple of weeks previously I had spoken with a member of a system who was very vocally distressed at the idea of plurality being conflated with gender, and wanted to make sure that I never added "plural" as an identity checkbox option.

As another example, in the plural feedback survey when I asked people how they felt about the "once per body" policy, a member of one system was against it and said "it feels like this policy doesn’t recognize us as separate people", but a member of another system was in favour and said "we're encouraged by our therapist to think of ourselves as dissociated parts of a whole. So we're all one person, just not directly connected like a singlet [non-plural person] would be. From that perspective, it makes sense to keep us as one person in the gender census, no matter how many genders we have." It's not possible to reconcile these two perspectives.

From the very beginning up until now, the unifying theme for feedback from plural people and their allies is "please be more inclusive of plural people." That's a really good start! After that it becomes a plate of tangled spaghetti.

Here are some themes I've managed to tease out, and my thoughts.

"Each system's alter should be able to participate in the survey individually if they want to." Some systems have literally hundreds of alters, and several systems have acknowledged in the feedback survey that this is probably both impractical for many plural people and unfair on singlets.

"We're okay with taking part once for all of us in the system, but we're just checking all the boxes that apply to at least one of us, and some of those are explicitly disliked by at least one of us. This is uncomfortable." I think that's... probably okay, actually. Other subcategories of participants whose identities fluctuate that strongly (e.g. a genderfluid person who is sometimes very male and sometimes extremely not male) or whose pronouns are context-dependent are also in this predicament. Participants often express a desire to rank their identity terms by importance, accuracy, fluctuation or frequency. The survey aims to collect broad and fuzzy data about a very large group of people, to monitor trends and let people know what language we're comfortable with on the whole. This survey just isn't looking for that kind of nuance.

"We're okay with taking part in the survey once for everyone in the system, but there should be a way to separate out responses about different alters within that one response." It's literally impossible to program the survey to have infinite subsections for each alter, but if it were possible, what would I do with the data? I think the most likely approach would be combining into a list of identities etc. "per body". The participant would feel better for being able to enter different words for different alters, but it would be more work for them, and it would be more work for me to process responses from plural people just to have them be counted like those from non-plural people.

"There should be a 'plural' checkbox in the identity list so that we can express that our gender is influenced by our plurality." I consider adding terms to the identity checkbox list when they're typed into the textboxes by over 1% of participants. There are some situations where I'll make an exception to that rule, but it's unusual and this isn't one of them. Whether you enter a term using a checkbox or a textbox makes no difference to how well-represented you are in the results.

Maybe just a question that asks if you're plural, with a checkbox? What would this checkbox do? Plurality is beyond the scope of the survey, along with things like height and eye colour. It would allow curious people to analyse the responses using plurality as a variable, but I wouldn't include it in any analysis in an annual Gender Census report.

That last one is particularly interesting, because it's what I actually did in the supplementary survey. I wasn't 100% sure in advance whether or not I would need that information for the singular vs. plural they issue, so I included an "I am/we are plural" checkbox just to be on the safe side. As far as I could tell, the survey was no more or less materially inclusive than the annual Gender Census survey. There were a couple of interesting patterns to report in the statistics, but the main things I noticed were:

Feedback saying that the survey wasn't inclusive of plural people was non-existent.

Several people thanked me in the feedback box for making the survey plural-inclusive.

Several people promoted the survey on social media by using its plural-inclusivity as a selling point.

Again, the supplementary survey didn't take a different approach. There was no particular difference in language, there was no indication that whether or not you're plural would be integral to the reporting of the results or even used at all, the only difference was the existence of a checkbox that let participants declare their plurality.

That's all it took to cause a complete U-turn in feedback. A checkbox that doesn't relate to gender or connect to any of the other questions in any way, and isn't particularly statistically useful based on the supplementary survey. It doesn't make the survey more inclusive, it just acknowledges that some participants are plural, and gives them a way to declare it.

Whether or not participants are plural is beyond the scope of the Gender Census, which aims to collect broad data about how we as nonbinary and otherwise genderly-interesting people want the world to see and describe us. It just doesn't make sense to include questions about plurality in future surveys. But I'm honestly amazed and a little confused, because until the "once per body" policy was added it seems that there wasn't actually anything about the Gender Census that prevented plural people from participating, at least not more than anyone else whose genders change significantly over time.

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SHOULD "PLURAL THEY" BE ADDED TO THE CHECKBOX PRONOUN LIST?

This is something that participants often ask me to do in order to make the survey more plural-inclusive, so I decided to seriously consider it.

The first draft of the supplementary survey asked over 1,000 participants about this issue, but I had to scrap those responses and then redesign and restart it because, even though dictionaries are fairly clear on what exactly "singular they" is, a lot of survey participants who are not dictionaries seemed to be in disagreement (or confusion) about what singular they and plural they actually are. I have been unable to find any academic or reference articles online using the phrase "plural they" at all.

Here are some of the things people have told me recently:

"Singular they" is when you use "they" with singular verbs, e.g. they is a teacher.

I can't say that I use "singular they" pronouns because I always say "they are". "They is" just sounds wrong to me.

"Plural they" is when you use "singular they" pronouns to refer to a system/someone who is plural.

"Singular they" and "plural they" are grammatically identical except for the name.

"Singular they" and "plural they" are functionally the same and should be combined into one option called "they" in the annual survey.

Let's start by stating what we do know for sure.

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THEY VS. SINGULAR THEY

For the record, "singular they" is defined by its purpose and context, not the specific words used.

Wiktionary says:

they (third-person, nominative case, usually plural, sometimes singular, objective case them, possessive their, possessive noun theirs, reflexive themselves, or, singular, themself)

It then goes on to specify three use-cases:

third-person plural, referring to two or more people

third-person singular, referring to one person

"indefinite pronoun" - people; some people; people in general; someone, excluding the speaker. E.g. "they didn’t have computers in the old days."

So we've got "they" (groups), "singular they" (individuals), and "indefinite they" (an "other" that is ambiguous in number).

Again, I have never found anything academic or, er, dictionarical (lexicographical?) that calls any of the forms "plural they", so my first job is to find out whether what Gender Census participants are calling "plural they" is the same as what the dictionary just calls "they", which is defined as the set used to refer to two or more people. For the purposes of this article I will call it regular "they".

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WHICH WORDS MAKE UP SINGULAR THEY?

Even though most dictionaries will state which words make up singular they, and it's usually they/them/their/theirs/themself, if you change individual words within the set or even around the set it is still called "singular they" if it is used to refer to only one person. This might happen due to regional or cultural variations. So whether you say "they is a writer" or "they are a writer", whether you say "themself" or "themselves", if you're talking about only one person, it's still singular they.

In the annual survey, singular they is consistently chosen in the checkbox pronoun options by the most participants, usually more than twice as popular as the next most popular option. (I use the dictionary-provided set, and I've checked it's still the most commonly used in several polls and surveys along the way.) In the annual survey, singular they is presented as:

singular they - they/them/their/theirs/themself (e.g. "they are a writer")

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WHICH WORDS MAKE UP PLURAL THEY?

I had never heard of "plural they" before people started asking me to add it to the checkbox list in the feedback box of the annual Gender Census survey, but it seemed clear from the name that it is meant to be contrasted with singular they, and I wondered if perhaps everyone else had been calling regular "they" (for referring to two or more people) "plural they" this entire time and I just hadn't noticed.

It was specifically presented to me by participants as a pronoun that a plural system could claim, and that a plural system might prefer over singular they. This tallied with my initial assumption that "plural they" may just be regular "they" referring to groups, since a system is a body containing two or more distinct individuals, so if they wanted to be referred to as a group then singular they would be inappropriate and regular "they" would fit.

I went to the pronouns spreadsheet of the 2021 Gender Census, and took every pronoun set that was named and copied it into a new spreadsheet. I ran a query to list all sets that contained both the words "plural" and "they" in the name field. There were 71 results, out of ~44,500 total responses. I ran another query to find out what these people were entering in the reflexive field, and here's what I got:

themselves - 61 (85.9%)

theirselves - 3

them - 2

themself - 2

themself (plural) - 2

theirself - 1

So I think it's safe to say that the set that people are calling "plural they" uses "themselves" as the reflexive, which is consistent with dictionaries' reporting of regular "they".

I conclude that most people do mean regular "they" when they refer to "plural they". "Plural they" seems to be they/them when used to refer to two or more people, including the plural reflexive "themselves".

As in "singular they", if you change individual words within the set or even around the set it is still called regular "they" if it is used to refer to two or more people. This might happen due to regional or cultural variations. So whether you say "they is writers" or "they are writers", whether you say "themself" or "themselves", if you're talking about two or more people, it's still regular "they" (or plural they).

~

IS PLURAL THEY GETTING SMUSHED INTO ANOTHER PRONOUN/GROUP?

I recently explored the (apparently unintentional) overlap of Spivak (e/em) and Elverson (ey/em). In case you've not read it, here's a brief overview: I found that it might be that Elverson (not on the checkbox list) is many times more popular than Spivak (on the checkbox list), even though it isn't being written into the pronouns textboxes often enough for it to reach the 1% threshold. Since the two sets are identical except for that one letter in the subject form, it is very likely that many of the people who use Elverson (ey/em) pronouns are choosing the Spivak checkbox option in the annual survey because they don't realise the spelling is different, or they think that they are minor spelling variants of the same set. I concluded that in order to get a fair count of both sets I will need to list both in the checkbox options next year, even though Elverson hasn't been typed in by over 1% of participants yet.

It's possible that the same thing is happening with singular and plural they. I ran a couple of Twitter polls, asking people whose pronouns are they/them which set they prefer, and presented answers like this:

a) Singular they, referring to only 1 person: they are themSELF

b) Singular they, referring to only 1 person: they are themSELVES

c) Plural they, referring to 2+ people: they are themSELVES

Here's the results, with 927 usable responses:

The results of this poll are really useful, because it allowed people to choose between singular and plural they AND themself and themselves, in combination. We can see that of the people who call their pronouns "singular they" (referring to only one person), the majority prefer "themself" as the reflexive, but a respectable proportion prefer singular they with "themselves", even when presented with the option of "plural they" (referring to two or more people).

(I have a policy of providing the most popular word choices in checkboxes, so I will continue to provide a they/them checkbox option that says "singular they - they/them/their/theirs/themself", but since singular they is consistently the most popular pronoun this is something I like to keep checking in on.)

If we apply these proportions to the 2021 Gender Census responses and imagine that everyone whose pronouns are they/them chose "singular they - they/them/their/theirs/themself" regardless of how accurate that is, this would mean that 3.7% of all respondents would check a "plural they" box, which is well above the 1% threshold for adding something to the checkbox list. Why not add it to the list, the way I'll also be adding Elverson to the list? This graph may help:

I generally consider it unwise to make big decisions based on Twitter polls, because the sample is much smaller and more biased than a standalone survey. Twitter requires membership, Twitter membership is skewed younger, and younger members are more likely to use Twitter often and see polls when they appear.

However, even I can't deny that there is a very clear mandate here for Elverson to be added to the checkbox list. When given a straight choice between the Spivak, Elverson, both, and neither/something else, participants were over six times more likely to choose Elverson over Spivak. (For context, Spivak got 4.3% in the 2021 Gender Census as a checkbox option.) Even if this poll were somehow put to the entire Gender Census participant group, it's hard to imagine a scenario where the results shift enough that Elverson gets a lower percentage than Spivak.

4.7% of a smaller sample of younger Twitter members just isn't enough to push me to add something to the checkbox options. I really hope that everyone whose pronouns are "plural they" takes the time to type it into next year's survey as a pronoun distinct from "singular they", so that if they do end up being over 1% of participants I can add "plural they" to the checkbox options.

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IN CONCLUSION

As far as I can tell, the Gender Census doesn't particularly exclude plural participants. Systems are still able to take part, so it is at least as inclusive as any other survey of a similar nature, maybe even more so thanks to the ability to choose multiple gender identities and pronouns "per body".

There isn't sufficient evidence to support adding "plural they" to the list of checkbox pronouns at this time, and systems can be represented in results by typing any plural-inclusive terms and pronouns that are not on checkbox lists into some of the many textboxes provided, as any other participant would be expected to do.

The "once per body" participation policy is uncomfortable for a significant number of plural people. However, due to the intensely varied experiences of plural people, any policy on that issue that I impose would make some plural people uncomfortable - and it turns out that I chose the "side" that plural people are more likely to agree with. The survey isn't intending to collect or convey the more nuanced information that plural people (and others) have said that they would like to provide.

A separate question that specifically asks participants whether they're plural makes systems feel seen and acknowledged, but is beyond the scope of the project and doesn't add value to the data or analysis.

So, I will not be making any changes to the Gender Census at this time, based on the information I've gathered so far. However, I welcome further feedback in the plural participants' feedback form, which will remain open, anonymous and private.

~

Edit: Follow-up.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙇𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 (𝙎𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙈𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙞)

Pairing: Song Mingi (Ateez)× Reader (Female) ft. Park Seonghwa (Ateez)

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Humor.

Word Count: 3.5K

Summary: Mingi has liked Y/N for the longest time and works up the courage to confess to her.......until he witnesses her confessing to someone else.

Tag: @seacottons . Happy birthday my tiny goofy goober.

❏ ❐ ❑ ❒ ❏ ❐ ❏ ❐ ❑ ❒ ❏ �� ❏ ❐ ❑ ❒

"Scribbling away another love letter that you'll end up throwing in the garbage bin yet again?"

Mingi quickly covered the paper in front of him with his large hands, startled by the voice of his friend who silently came in the room.

"Yeosang don't freaking scare me like that! Seriously, I'm going to ask Seonghwa to put a bell on you."

Adjusting the glasses on his nose, Mingi carefully folded the paper before placing it inside a pink colored envelope which he ended up wrapping a string around it. For the final touch, he attached a small flower on it like he did on all the other ones, this time it was a mini red carnation, which he gently kissed before placing it in the stash with the others.

Yeosang simply shook his head and sighed.

"Mingi, I'm no relationship expert, but don't you think it'd be better to tell Y/N how you feel instead of pouring your heart out into a piece of paper and storing it in a cold corner?"

The taller male sat still for a couple seconds, thinking about his friend's words. Maybe he would....and yet-

"No I- I can't do that! I mean, look at me. I'm just Mingi and she's Y/N."

Yeosang rolled his eyes.

"Yes, glad to see you know both of your names. But what's keeping you from telling her? Like seriously?"

Kicking himself off the chair, Mingi slumped onto his bed, sprawling all over it and groaning dramatically.

"She's super cool, funny, kind, caring and has eyes to die for..."

Lifting his head up he smiled goofily at Yeosang who just scrunched his nose at how lovesick Mingi was. Coming back to reality, Mingi rolled over onto his back. Clutching a nearby pillow, he hugged it as he looked at the ceiling.

"And I'm just me.......she'd never fall for someone like me..."

Yeosang sat next to him. Patting his arm in an effort to comfort him, he suggested:

"Why not try still? Who knows? Maybe you'll end up being surprised yourself."

Mingi pondered over his Yeosang's words long after he was gone. He looked back at the stash of written confessions he had drafted over the past months.

"Why not? After all, it wouldn't hurt me to try......"

"Right?"

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Y/N paced back and forth around the living room, feeling extremely anxious and agitated.

"It's ok Y/N. Just breathe and you'll be fine. The worse he can do is reject you right? No biggie." She mentally told herself.

Looking back at the cake on the island, she double checked to make sure it looked perfect and even. She had to remind herself to thank Yunho for telling her what his friend's favorite cake was, even if he had demanded a cake of his own as payment for the information. She got startled when she finally heard the door open.

"Don't panic! Don't panic!" She couldn't keep herself from fidgeting with the sleeves of her sweater.

Maybe there was still time to back out of this, maybe she could pretend she dropped the cake for all of them, even if he was the only one there at that moment. She was so frustrated she actually leaned her forehead against the wall in front of her and whined lowly.

"Y/N?" She finally heard him speak.

Without turning around, she lifted a hand behind her to signal him to not speak. Taking a deep breath she declared:

"Listen! I'm only going to say this once so hear me out...."

The man behind her stood there, eyeing her curiously, wondering what she'd say. He was pretty shocked when he heard her continue.

"I've liked you for the longest time now...... like seriously like you. Every time I see you, I feel like my heart is about to jump out of my chest..."

Sighing softly, she got to the final part.

"I understand if you don't feel the same, if you'll see me as nothing but a friend. After all, you're an idol and have so many pretty faces constantly surrounding you, and you're so handsome, so perfect and sweet and cute and- ugh! I just wanted to let you know that I really really like you ok?!"

She felt so embarrased by herself and actually contemplated banging her head against the concrete in front of her. She already could feel the rejection coming, the silence being the huge indicator. Not able to bear the silence anymore, she turned around.

"Stop dragging it on and just tell me- Seonghwa?!"

She was beyond mortified when she saw the eldest Ateez member in front of her, who was now poking at the cake.

"I mean........ I appreciate the sentiment Y/N, but you should know my favorite ice cream is strawberry. Not .....whatever this is..."

Y/N snatched the cake away from him.

"It's not for you idiot! And the confession wasn't for you either!"

Seonghwa pretended to be hurt by her words.

"Ouch. You hurt me so bad." He mock pouted, causing her to roll her eyes.

"But honestly, thank God it wasn't for me. I was about to get a heart attack from thinking about how to let you down gently."

Y/N looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, no offense Y/N. You're cute and all but I just see you as a friend." He explained.

"None taken. You're cute and all but I just see you as the other's nanny." She teased him.

"Hey you take that back!" He swatted at her, causing her to laugh and almost drop the cake.

"Ok but if you weren't expecting me to come by the door? Who were you expecting?"

Leaning his elbow on the wall, Seonghwa looked at Y/N with a mischievous twinkle in the eye.

"Tell me. I must know who among our members is it that makes your heart pound so much?"

"That's my secret." She pretended to zip her lips tightly.

"Awww come on! I hardly get any excitement anymore! Tell me! I wanna know!" He continued pestering her to dish it out.

She bit her lip before deciding she could trust him.

"It's.....it's Mingi. ..."

Seonghwa immediately got a shocked look on his face which terrified Y/N, but then it confused her when he started smiling widely.

"Are you serious?! That's great!" Seonghwa actually hugged her tightly.

"Why is that great?"

Seonghwa leaned in, pressing his lips to her ear.

"Because, he may or may not be also crushing on you....hard."

Seonghwa chuckled at her reaction.

"Cute. Super cute."

Seonghwa couldn't resist the urge to nuzzle his nose against her cheek, making Y/N make gagging noises at his affection and jokingly attemp to escape his grasp.....

Yet neither of them noticed the heartbroken pair of eyes that was watching them.

❏ ❐ ❑ ❒ ❏ ❐ ❏ ❐ ❑ ❒ ❏ ❐ ❏ ❐ ❑ ❒

Mingi was upset for the next few days and didn't even try to hide it. He couldn't get that image out of his head. He could still hear Y/N's voice say:

"I've liked you for the longest time now...... like seriously like you. Every time I see you, I feel like my heart is about to jump out of my chest...

I just wanted to let you know that I really really like you ok?!"

He was so shocked to hear her say that. For the longest time he had wanted to hear her utter those words....

But they weren't for him, they were for someone else.

He couldn't stay anymore. He quietly exited the dorm to give them both the space they needed. Waiting for several minutes outside, he debated whether to go back inside and see what happened or just go back to the company to practice the choreography once more and hopefully get his mind off things. Curiosity getting the better of him, Mingi slowly opened the door again and silently peeked his head back in.

He instantly regretted it and wished he had just gone back to practice. It absolutely destroyed him watching his Hyung be lovey dovey with the girl of his dreams and he knew he'd hate the coming days. Which was why he stayed in his room or just went out to practice to keep his mind occupied.

He wasn't in the mood to play with Yunho, mess with Hongjoong and especially not eat what Seonghwa cooked. It started to worry the others and of course, it also worried Y/N to no end. She tried to cheer him up, make him his favorite foods or try to get him out of bed, but it was all in vain. Mingi would end up shutting down more and just dismissing her attempts, sometimes harshly.

"Y/N please just leave me alone! I don't want to see you!" He yelled at her one day when he just couldn't control what he'd kept bottled up inside.

He instantly felt bad when he saw her sad and disappointed eyes, but didn't apologize. He simply grabbed his coat and went for a walk, leaving the poor girl in total disillusionment. Y/N sat down on his bed, her hand gently stroking the throw blanket he always kept.

"Now you've got a long face. Don't tell me it's contagious."

Usually she'd chuck a pillow at Yeosang's comment, but she didn't even feel like doing that.

"What's with you?" Yeosang asked as he took a seat next to her.

"I'm just....hurt.." She admitted.

"Why?" He continued his interrogation.

"I just......wanted to help Mingi but instead he lashed out at me and it hurts because I care about him a lot and it hurts to have the person you like treat you so coldly."

She didn't even realize she had just told Yeosang her secret, but she was too hurt to even think about the words coming out of her mouth. Yeosang however seemed intrigued by what she said, and knowing how Mingi was pining for her as well, couldn't understand either why he'd make her feel that way.

"If it's any consolation..... he likes you too."

Although Seonghwa had already hinted that Mingi liked her too, she couldn't really take his words seriously because Seonghwa tended to misinterpret things. But she knew Yeosang was straightforward and honest in everything, plus he wouldn't make something like this up.

"He does?" She looked at him incredulously.

Yeosang nodded. Remembering the box Mingi hid, he got up, not caring whether it was ok or not to do this, but something had to be done. Picking up the red box he placed it on Y/N's lap.

"Read them. They're Mingi's. Maybe there you'll find a clue about what's bothering him."

Ruffling the top of her head, Yeosang exited the room and closed the door behind him, knowing she'd probably want the privacy.

Snapping the latch up, Y/N was more than surprised to see several letters neatly laid out in the box. There were at least a dozen of them, all addressed to her and stacked by the order they were written in. The envelopes were all different colors, and each had a unique flower attached to it, some already dried out from how old they were, but others were still fresh and vibrant. Picking up the first one in the stack, she noticed it was dated 1 week after she had just moved into the apartment next to them.

"Dear Y/N,

I know you'd find it odd to hear me say this, but I think you're so pretty and nice and I was wondering if one day you'd like to go on a date with me? Let me know."

She giggled softly at how cute he was. She poured over the next letters one by one, each time they were getting longer and longer than the last one, and they certainly became more romantic.

"Dear Y/N,

It's been only a few minutes since we all went to bed cause New Year's is over, but I honestly can't sleep. Not when my head is filled with images of you at the party, looking absolutely gorgeous in that dress you wore. Let me tell you, I could hardly keep myself still when the fireworks began. I seriously wanted to kiss you right then and there, and I would have, but that would have probably freaked you out and I can't have that. Admiring you was enough for me and I know I will get to kiss you, even if it's only in my dreams."

Y/N fondly remembered that. She recalled how she fantasized about Mingi kissing her as well. She desperately wanted him to cup her face and just plant his luscious lips on hers. She could feel herself blushing as she thought about how they would feel and what would they taste like. It was well an hour later but she finally reached the last letter, which was actually written up just yesterday. This time it was in a dark blue envelop and it had a tiny stem of Forget-Me-Nots on it.

"Dear Y/N,

I know it's foolish to keep writing these things when I now know you can never be mine, when I know your heart belongs to someone else. But I need to get it off my chest and finally say this:

I love you..."

She clutched her heart when she read that, tears already forming in her eyes.

"I love you, but I can never have you. Yet I hold no resentment towards you. You're free to love who you want. I wish you and Seonghwa Hyung nothing but happiness and I hope he treats you like the princess you are.

Forever yours, hoping you never forget me,

Song Mingi."

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows, wondering what he meant by being happy with Seonghwa. Then it hit her. Mingi had started acting strange the day after the misunderstanding with Seonghwa happened. Which meant he must have seen something and thought-

"Oh my God!"

Y/N quickly ran out the room, almost bumping into San who dramatically slammed his back on the wall, holding his beloved baby high above any danger.

"It's ok my precious Byeol! Your father has saved you from this heathen who doesn't know that she shouldn't run in the house especially when I'm with child!"

San shook his head and held the feline close to him as he walked into his room to play with her, singing an unintelligible tune that wasn't exactly pleasant to the siamese' ears.

❏ ❐ ❑ ❒ ❏ ❐ ❏ ❐ ❑ ❒ ❏ ❐ ❏ ❐ ❑ ❒

Y/N was once again sweating nervously. She kept looking and shuffling the plate of macarons in the middle of the table. She specifically poked at the pink one, hoping it wouldn't fall apart or anything. She could hardly take a sip out of her own coffee as she waited for Mingi to get there. She was beginning to worry he wouldn't show up at all, but Yeosang promised to make sure he did. She took out her phone to text Yeosang, ask him if he succeeded or should she just think of something else.

"Y/N? Did you call me here?"

She fumbled with her phone that almost dropped out of her hands when she finally heard Mingi and saw him standing there in front of her.

"Uhm...yeah. Please sit."

She gestured for him to sit which he hesitantly did. He kept his glance on the table, not even looking at the drink or treats in front of him. Wanting to break the ice, Y/N shifted the cup and plates closer to him.

"Look. I got your favorites."

She hoped to get a reaction out of him, but nothing. He barely batted an eyelash at them.

"Oh.....thanks...." Still made no move to take anything.

Feeling impatient, Y/N shoved the plate of macarons closer, making it touch his hand.

"Mingi.....won't you please take one?"

He sighed in defeat, and as expected, he took the pink one.

"I appreciate your effort Y/N. You're a good friend. But don't you think your boyfriend might get jealous of you doing this? We all know how Seonghwa is with his possessions."

Y/N wanted to refute that statement right then and there, but instead, she chose to wait. Mingi took a bite out of the macaron, or at least attempted to but it felt oddly hard and weird. Examining it closely, he accidentally broke it apart in two pieces, and out came a tiny folded paper. Mingi looked at Y/N, who just pointed to the paper, her eyes urging him to open it. Mingi carefully unfolded the paper and his eyes went wide as he read the contents:

"I love you too♡"

Confused and wondering what it meant, he was going to ask Y/N about it, but she began explaining:

"That day.....that you saw me and Seonghwa..... I thought it was you who was standing behind me."

If they weren't sitting in a booth and had instead been at one of the tables with high chairs, Mingi would have seriously fallen out of it.

"That confession....was supposed to be for you.."

Mingi couldn't believe what he was hearing. He actually pinched himself to make sure it wasn't another beautiful delusion his mind was making up.

"Are.....are you serious?" He had to be sure.

Y/N nodded her head.

"Then....then why was Seonghwa kissing your cheek afterwards?"

Y/N giggled softly.

"That wasn't a kiss. He was just being the little shit he was and teasing me about you."

Now it all made sense. Seonghwa did enjoy teasing Y/N and that teasing was always followed by a pinch to her cheek, a squeezing of her nose, or even messing up her hair.

"So it was all a misunderstanding?" Mingi asked.

"Yeah. A rather big and painful one if you ask me." She added sadly.

Then Mingi's eyes shot up as he realized something.

"Wait! What do you mean you love me too?"

Now it was Y/N's turn to blush.

"Well...... Yeosang kinda showed me all the letters you wrote."

Mingi thought he was about to have a heart attack.

"Please tell me you didn't read them all."

When she bit her lip, Mingi grimaced and covered his face.

"How embarrassing. I want to die now."

"Well.....I thought they were really sweet and romantic. I loved every one of them."

Peeking out through his fingers, Mingi squeaked out an "Really?"

Y/N couldn't resist the urge to uncover his face and coo at him.

"Yes I did, almost as much as I love you."

Mingi blushed intensely at her words, both of them bursting out into little giggles.

"So that cake you made.......those words you said..... it is for me?" He looked at Y/N with hope in his eyes.

"It was always you Mingi."

Pouting, Mingi held out his pinkie.

"Promise?"

Linking her own pinkie in his, she promised:

"Promise it was you and it will always be you."

Mingi was happy once again now that everything was cleared up and he found out the girl he loved reciprocated his feelings. They left the cafe together, both shy and quiet as if they were a newlywed couple. Mingi kept glancing over at her, wanting to say something, but didn't know what. Unconsciously, he brushed his hand against hers.

"Sorry!" He apologized when she whipped her head at him.

"I swear! I wasn't trying to-"

His words got caught in his throat when she held his hand and continues walking as if it was totally normal. Mingi couldn't stop himself from smiling at their physical contact.

"So uhh..........when is it an acceptable time to have our first kiss?"

His question made her burst out laughing. He however didn't find it funny.

"I'm serious! I just want to know when it'll be an acceptable time to kiss my girlfriend!" He complained.

Stopping in their tracks, Y/N faced him.

"Ok you really wanna know?"

Mingi nodded. Feeling bold, Y/N got on her tippy toes and pecked his lips so quickly it took Mingi a couple seconds to register what happened. Y/N began running back away and laughing at his dumbfounded expression. Once he got over the shock, Mingi began sprinting over to her.

"Hey! No fair! Come back here! I wasn't ready! Let me kiss you properly!"

Having longer legs, he easily caught her and threw her over his shoulder.

"That was so mean." He huffed as he began walking again, not caring if people looked at them weird.

"Ok what can I do to make it up to you?" She offered.

Humming softly, Mingi answered:

"I want you to cuddle me while we watch movies."

Y/N shrugged.

"Done. It's a deal."

Not hiding the smug smile on his face, Mingi added:

"And I want to kiss you."

❏ ❐ ❑ ❒ ❏ ❐ ❏ ❐ ❑ ❒ ❏ ❐ ❏ ❐ ❑ ❒

[blueflamedemon]

BlueSky { Dabi x OC }

Chapter Three - Call Me Sir Again

*Chapter Summary - After butting heads a couple of times, Dabi comes to the conclusion that he and Sora are very much alike in many ways, including something that he will never admit to.

Chapter one HERE

Weeks went by with no word from Shigaraki. Sora and the others grew worried that he had been captured, so Sora took to watching the news every day to make sure he and the rest of her new friends hadn't been captured, since none of them self comfortable enough to check in with each other too often.

She was keeping her head low, being careful when she went out into public for too long, making sure not to in one area for too long. Somewhere down the line, Dabi found her a wig that hid her face enough and made her look like a whole new, younger person. It was a bit surprising when he came back one day and gave it to her out of nowhere, though she was very impressed with it.

The first few days, Dabi bought them a room in a little air b&b on the outskirts of town, tucked deep into the woods, so there would be no disturbances. Mostly, he got the place so they had somewhere to shower quickly and sleep it off for a few hours, though both were pretty difficult with her leg bandaged up.

After that, he decided it would be best if they rented a small apartment, something where Sora could hide easily and gave them both enough space to sleep--when Dabi showed up, that was.

Dabi had taken to leaving for days at a time, not calling her to check in or let her know when he might be coming back. He'd appear for a little while to make sure she was doing okay and disappear sometime during the night.

Normally, she heard him slipping out. It was hard for her to fall asleep, so she laid awake and stared out the window that her bed sat in front of, listening to the sounds of the waves crashing against the shore and Dabi's shallow breaths until he woke up. She found herself asking him where he was going at all hours of the night, but all he would ever tell her was that he was looking for recruits.

"I don't understand why you can't wait for Shigaraki's word." Sora said one day after Dabi climbed through her opened window and sat at the tiny table. "You also have a key; you don't have to become Spiderman."

"Finding new villains for the League can't wait." Dabi stated firmly, grabbing for a piece of toast that Sora had just made for herself. "When he does give us that call, I want to be ready."

"It sounds like you're trying to create your own League. Isn't there some guy that's helping Shigaraki find recruits? He found you and Himiko." Sora took the piece of toast back from him and took a huge bite out of it.

Dabi rolled his eyes and stood up, making his way over to the fridge and pulling the door open. He leaned over to look inside. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there might be someone he misses. Don't you have any juice boxes?"

"Are you two?" Sora raised an eyebrow. "There's a whole carton of juice in there. Grab a cup like a normal human being." She sat in the chair, seeing as only one came with the apartment, she wanted to sit in it to finish eating her breakfast.

Grumbling something she couldn't understand, Dabi reached in and pulled out an energy drink that she stored in there for training, though she hardly ever drank them because she stopped at a cafe just down the street before she trained. It was a little problem. "Why aren't you working on your Quirk?"

"You told me to take the day off. I'm really going to need you to decide what you want, sir."

Dabi was beside her instantly. He sat the drink down on the table and lifted her chin up with a single finger. "Call me 'sir' again." He breathed.

She gasped, nearly choking on the last piece of toast. Looking up at Dabi, she saw his eyes were wider than usual, and his brows were knitted together, almost in confusion. "Excuse me?" Was all she could say.

"Just what I thought. Princess better not mouth off again." He huffed and let go of her chin.

Sora grabbed his wrist, right where his burn scars ended, and she felt each one of the metal hoops that were perminetally attached. The first time she ever touched one, she thought it would be gross, like touching a reptile, but that wasn't exactly it. The scars did feel rough, but it still felt like skin. When she touched him the first time, she couldn't help but to pause and stare, which made Dabi think she was appalled, and it caused a rift in between them for a couple of days. "Is that why you've stuck around for so long? You think you can get some?"

Dabi hesitated, caught off guard by the fact he was just grabbed. His eyes flicked up to meet hers. "Somebody needs to take care of you."

****

Himiko was the one who called Sora the most. She would talk on the phone for hours, telling Sora about the boys she met, but that they just couldn't stand up to Izuku Midoriya.

When she was done explaining her need for Midoriya's blood, she would always ask how things were going with Dabi and if anything had sparked between them yet. And every time, Sora would groan and tell Himiko that nothing would ever happen between the two.

"He isn't my type." Sora would exclaim.

"But you're his." Himiko would giggle on the other end of the phone. "And last week, you told me that he got mad at you for talking to a delivery guy for too long."

"He didn't want the guy to realize he was talking with an escaped hero turned villain."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

It was rare to hear from any of the other villains, though she assumed they were just trying their best not to screw this up for any of them. When they did talk, they refrained from giving their location, even went so far as to not really mentioning places they visited. If one of them was caught, they would never be able to give away locations of the League.

As time went on, Sora read some rather concerning articles about charred bodies found in dark allies all throughout Japan. Police thought it strange because there were no other identifiable things that were burned, just the bodies, and most of them were hard to justify as an actual body. It was clear where Dabi had been running off to in the middle of the night.

"Dabi?" Sora opened the bathroom door to see the mysterious boy sitting on the bed, his coat draped over the foot of the mattress, and his shoes kicked off at the door, for once. She let out a small sigh of relief. "I told you to knock on the bathroom door if I'm in the shower."

Dabi rested his head against the wall, his eyes closed and his hands clasped over his stomach. "Mmmhm. You tell me a lot of things."

"Seriously, Dabi. One of these days I'm going to open this door and that's when my Quirk is going to mysteriously start working." She began drying her hair with a towel, squeezing as much water out as she could. "I keep thinking somebody broke in."

"That'll never happen on my watch."

"How will you know? You're off all day, burning people."

His eyes opened and they shifted over to her. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, you're all over the news. Keep going and you're going to get caught. That wasn't the point of all this." She threw the towel up to dry and walked over to the closet to pick out some clothes.

"I am?" She felt the smirk to his voice and she refrained from rolling her eyes.

"Not the point. You better slow down. How many people have you killed?"

"I only killed those who weren't worthy."

"Aren't worthy?" Sora turned around to face him. "Dabi, that sounds crazy."

"I am crazy, princess." He winked at her without missing a beat. "I kill people, remember?"

"When I met you, I had killed more people than you." Sora reminded him. She pulled out a skater dress with the ribs cut out and a pair of biker shorts to go underneath it. "So that little act you have going on? Not impressive."

Dabi was beside her in a second, one hand against the door of the closet, causing Sora to gasp and drop her clothes to the floor. She held her robe together as she stared up at him. "A while back I told you to remember your place. That still applies. You're still the pro hero in training in my eyes and you know how I feel about those ass hats." He said through gritted teeth, peering down at her with a blood-thirsty look swimming in his eyes.

"Then kill me." Sora put it simply, giving him an easy out. There were days that she was sure Dabi was tired of babysitting her, probably even sick of waiting for her Quirk to get back in working order. She never asked for this life, never asked to be a hero nor a villain, it didn't matter to her either way she went at this point. If she stuck around long enough to reek havoc on those who wronged her, she was happy, but not if it meant working with somebody who couldn't treat her as an equal. "Kill me if you feel so inclined to do so. But try to find somebody out there with as much hatred for those heroes. They didn't care about helping me, either. The one mistake I made, they threw away the key and never gave me a second thought. Never bothered to check in on me, to ask how I was doing. They pumped me full of drugs to keep my Quirk at bay and nearly killed me in the process. So go ahead, Dabi, kill me if you think for a second that I would ever go back to being called a hero."

He was silent for a moment as he towered over her, hunching to get in her face. Inches away from her nose, she caught a whiff of burning flesh, causing her to believe Dabi had just finished another one of his mass murders. It was a bit early for that, but she didn't put it passed the blue flamed boy, he was eager to kill now that he was on his streak.

For a moment, Sora thought he might burn her to a crisp right there. There was no emotion to his eyes, though his mouth twitched a few times as if he were going to say something. When he didn't, he broke their eye contact and gazed down at her lips. Butterflies broke free in her tummy and she felt goosebumps appear on the back of her neck. Was he thinking about kissing her? Or murdering her?

Dabi pulled back, slouching as he tucked his hands into his coat pockets. He rarely ever wore anything to hid himself, which made Sora wonder how he hadn't been caught yet. "How did it feel?"

Blinking, Sora looked up at him, still clutching her robe against her. "How did what feel?"

"To be abandoned by Endeavor and the other pros after promising to make you a better hero."

"Worthless." Sora said without thinking. "Like I just lost..." She paused, unsure if she wanted to get into her true feelings after that moment with Dabi. "He was a tough mentor, but I always viewed him as a father figure, seeing as I never had one. In school, he picked me to intern for him. He picked me after I graduated to be trained along side him, to better myself. He wanted me to be as strong as he was. He was harsh and had no real social skills, but I thought that he truly did care for me, somewhere deep down."

"He has no feelings." Dabi huffed. "None of the heroes do. The world would be much better without them around."

Sora always had a strange feeling that Dabi had more to his backstory than he let on. In fact, she wasn't sure he ever went into detail about why he hated everyone so much. Day by day, she saw his hatred for the pro heroes grow. Something happened to him, and she wasn't going to push it, but it felt bigger than just locking him up and throwing away the key. "I'm going to get dressed. Still be here when I get out?" She asked, calmly.

He turned his head to the opened window, which he'd previously climbed into, despite him having a key to the apartment. "Dunno."

"I'd like it if you stayed. You need a break from those murders of yours before you cremate more of yourself." She stated, picking up her clothes and walking into the bathroom, not really expecting him to stick around just because she asked. Dabi did what he wanted, when he wanted. That was why he never stuck around, he had a mission--a duty, and he was going to finish it out on his own.

She turned around and walked back into the bathroom, wondering if she should tell Dabi the whole truth about her hero days, but the thought of replaying those moments caused her skin to itch and she felt her stomach tighten. Maybe if she kept it to herself until she was ready.

Looking into the mirror, Sora saw a girl she no longer recognized. The girl staring back at her was different from the girl she saw a few months ago. This one had more freedom, despite her current situation. She had friends, she had a family. And it only took them a few days to really accept her. How ironic.

With her clothes on, she stepped out of the bathroom to see Dabi gone, the window wide open as if he had just left. She sighed, wondering if he would ever stay long enough for them to have a normal conversation.

Her phone started to buzz on the table. She picked it up without looking at the name, assuming it was Himiko. It was around that time for her to call in and check up on her.

"Hello?"

"I can't get Dabi to answer his phone. I assume he's still with you." Shigaraki's cold voice was on the other end.

"He just left." She stated, taking a seat on the bed. "Why?"

"Catch him and tell him it's time. I'll message you the location. Bring that asshole if you have to drag him by his hair!" He ordered. Sora heard the faint buzz as the line cut off.

"Nice to talk to you, too." She mumbled, glancing down at the message that flashed across her screen.

She saved opening it for later, so she wouldn't forget, and looked for Dabi's number. She quickly called him with no answer, which was a bit weird. He rarely answered his phone, but he typically picked up for hers.

Something felt wrong. She tried to call Dabi again, and this time it went straight to his voicemail. She pulled the phone away and looked at the number, making sure she was calling the right person.

Is he ignoring me? She thought as she typed up a quick message to tell him that Shigaraki called and they were all meeting up soon. Hitting send, the message failed immediately. He turned his phone completely off...

****

"You still haven't heard from Dabi?" Himiko asked as she twirled one of her knives in the air. "What a prick."

"I left a voicemail and told him what happened back at the warehouse. He hasn't stopped by the apartment, either." Sora watched out the window of the apartment, hoping by some chance she would see him prowling around outside.

"Maybe he was killed. I've seen the news, he's been a busy man." Himiko shrugged then paused. She looked up at Sora, her eyes wide and her mouth opened. "I'm sorry... you liked him, didn't you? I'm sure he's fine!"

Sora felt her cheeks warm up at the thought of liking Dabi. She couldn't fall for a guy like him, he was emotionally unavailable, a guy who could never feel anything towards her at all. He made that abundantly clear from the moment they ran away together. "I don't know what I think about him anymore. I mean, what kind of guy does this to a girl he's helping?" She sighed. "I've lost all progress we made..."

"Are you saying that you can't use your Quirk still?" The little girl tilted her head.

"I'm saying that it's hard since Dabi quit pushing me. I can't explain it, but it's like he knew how to get under my skin, make me angry, and that always helped me power up. Anger, it fuels me."

"Here," Toga raised her knife in the air, ready to slash somebody. "Let me take a swing at you, see how angry you get."

Sora giggled and shook her head. "I don't think so." She looked over at her friend. "What does Overhaul want with me? He said he was working on a drug to stop Quirks. What could he possibly want with me?"

During this meeting at the warehouse, Twice had brought a potential new recruit named Overhaul. The interview was meant to be nice and pleasant with no trouble, so Tomura claimed. Of course, nothing went exactly as planned and in the process, they lost Big Sis Magne and Compress' arm. After the fact, Overhaul warned Tomura and the others that he would be expecting Sora change sides and start working with him, as he could use someone with her type of power.

If only Dabi had been there, she wondered if Magne would still be alive, or if Compress would still have his arm. Today showed her just how much they really needed Dabi and his flames, and she bet that he knew that, too. If only he stuck around long enough when they actually needed him.

"I'm gonna kill him." Himiko said through gritted teeth. "Him and every single one of his members. They can all die."

"Dabi would have had him up in flames." Sora cracked a small smile, thinking back to the night of the bar. He'd let his walls down just enough to show concern for her. Regardless if he was actually worried or not, it felt nice that somebody was willing to fight for her.

Toga paused, then smiled, too. "Yeah... he would have. Hey, are you gonna be okay if I head out? Twice asked me to stop by his place for a sec and I don't want Tomura to think we're ganging up behind his back."

Sora waved a hand and nodded. "Go ahead, I actually just want to rest a little while, maybe go on a walk."

Sora threw on some shoes and a jacket, deciding on walking Toga outside before they went their separate ways at the fork in the road. She needed a walk to clear her head, to get her mind off of the Overhaul thing. It amazed her that two villains wanted her on their team, and yet they knew that she was Quirkless until she could heal from all the damage. Of course, once she got back into her groove, she'd be unstoppable.

Her usual park was closed due to an attack earlier that day, so Sora took a route to her second favorite place, an abandoned stretch of beach. It wasn't a very large one, in fact, you could see from one end to the other pretty easily during the day, but it was still nice and private. There was a little shack sitting above one of the rock formations, which Sora took to hiding in a couple of times, just to get away.

She left her shoes on the boardwalk to feel the sand between her toes as she walked along the sand, sticking close to the water. For someone who hated water, she loved to sit and listen to the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks, and watch the sun disappear beyond the horizon. It gave her a sense of humanity, reminding her that she might have a strong Quirk, but she was still human on the inside, she still held human emotions.

"There you are, little mouse."

Sora jumped in the air and landed with her hands ready for a fight. She saw a familiar looking figure sitting on the steps to the shack, slouched over his knees with his hands clasped in front of him. "Dabi?" She blinked.

"Sorry for the scare." He said, lazily. "You weren't back at the apartment. I figured you'd gone off with this Overhaul guy."

She let her hands fall to her sides and she walked up to the wood steps. "You couldn't tell by my voicemail that I was upset over it?"

"Yeah," Dabi shrugged his shoulders, not bothering to look up at her. "Doesn't mean you wouldn't have gone with him."

"Tomura is furious over it, too. Even if I wanted to join Overhaul, I don't think he would let me. Though the way Overhaul talked about this drug, it has me wondering."

"Sounds like he might just be using it as an excuse to get Tomura jealous. You don't think he really has a drug that can erase Quirks, do you?"

Sora tucked her hair behind her ears. "Either way, to think I might get answers about the drugs they gave me.... If he has those kinds of drugs, maybe they're the same ones."

"I would have been here sooner but... I had something to take care of." He mumbled, changing the subject, possibly to get her mind off of it.

"I thought you just got tired of me. You could have said something, you ass." Sora smacked his leg playfully.

He finally pulled his head up to look at her. He bore that same empty stare that he nearly always had, except she thought she might have seen something leave his eyes as he faced her. "Didn't want you in the middle of it. Turned out to be a dead end anyway, but it might've been more. If the police caught me, there was no way in hell they were going to find you."

"Awe, you do care about me." She teased.

"You and I aren't so different from each other."

Sora tilted her head a little and leaned against the railing, looking up at him. "Will you ever tell me your story?"

"When you need to know it." He said simply.

"You say we're alike." She pondered on that for a moment, thinking if all the ways they might be linked. It was enough for him to feel the need to keep her around. "You were an orphan, too?"

"Something like that." Dabi shrugged. "Enough guessing games. I can feel something big coming up and I need you to be prepared." He rose to his feet and jumped over the railing, landing perfectly on his feet. "That Quirk of yours is going to work eventually."

"How do you know?" Sora stepped back down into the sand. "I haven't been able to use it in weeks, you think it's just going to start now?"

"Do you trust me?" He faced her.

She paused, thinking over those words carefully. "You mean, do I trust a villain who won't even tell me where he goes every night?"

"Do you trust me as in the guy that protects you."

"Again, you're hardly around. If I'm attacked and you aren't there..."

"Answer the damn question."

"I want to trust you."