#'so i can direct you chucklefucks with ease'

[ouaw-facts-i-just-made-up]

Kremy does the little t-rex arm thing

[ravendruid]

Be In My Eyes - Chapter 1

This is a Vaxleth-centric College AU fic, where our group of chucklefucks share an apartment. You can also find this fic available on AO3. The title was inspired by the song Flowers in Your Hair by The Lumineers.

In the town of Byroden stood a large oak tree, behind which a small girl tried to hide from her brother, her dark hair in a messy braid and her hazel-brown eyes searching the direction from which she had seen him last. She was holding a stick almost as big as her with a piece of string tied to each end in what looked like a makeshift bow.

“Come on, Vex! It’s getting late, and I’m hungry!” A boy’s voice sounded in the distance. The girl, Vex, took a deep breath before she started to round the tree, as slowly and quietly as she could, looking for the source of the voice.

Vex wasn’t as great at hiding as he was, so he spotted her with ease, crouching by the roots of the large tree with her back to him. His equally dark hair fell at the sides of his face, a face so similar to the girl’s, but for the slight change of his features. The boy was able to approach his sister from behind without her noticing, his feet so silent against the dry ground that one could guess he was levitating. 

“Caught you!”

The girl jumped in place, raised a hand to her chest, and screamed as she turned to face him. “Vax! You scared me!”

Vax laughed at his sister’s reaction. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “I’m sorry stubby. We really should get going." He pulled her along with him. “It’s getting dark."

The girl finally nodded in agreement and they walked together, his arm still draped around her, until they reached the small wooden house, where a woman with thick dark hair stood in front of a stove, stirring a pot of stew.

***

The mountain town of Zephrah was located on a hill of the Summit Peaks, surrounded by trees and nature, among which stood a small, modest house, made of logs and stone. The gravel path leading to the wooden door was laden with beautiful flowers of various colors, and the planters in front of the windows sported a few bulbs of flowers ready to bloom. 

There was chatter coming and the nice smell of food cooking from inside the house as a tall, white-haired man stirred a pot on the stove while a small red-haired girl sat at the table, drawing flowers on a piece of paper.

“We learned about flowers today." The girl said as she drew a daisy. “We learned about cherry blossoms, snowdrops, and wildflowers… there are so many flowers with so many colors, and they’re all so pretty!” She finished tracing the daisy, only to start drawing a second one right next to it.

"Yes, flowers are one of the most beautiful things nature has to offer." The man said, looking over his shoulder. “They don't necessarily need to be merely decorative. They can have many uses, as you know." The girl nodded with her gaze still focused on the drawing, seemingly happy with the answer. “Keyleth dear, will you please set the table? Dinner is almost ready."

Keyleth nodded in response before her father turned his gaze back to the pot and started to collect her things by placing her coloring pencils inside a cute green pencil case. “Dad, what was mom’s favorite flower?”

Keyleth’s mother had died almost five years ago, when she was only five, and she didn’t have many memories of her, so she often asked her father questions about her. Keyleth knew that sometimes it hurt him to talk about her mom, but he knew it was important for her to know about her, so he would always answer her questions, especially the ones about what her mom loved and all her favorite things.

“She loved chamomiles." Her father answered with a smile. “They are beautiful, smell good, and they make great tea!” Like every time he spoke about his wife, Keyleth could see the threat of tears at the corners of his eyes.

“I love chamomiles too. I remember when mom used to make me tea when I was sick." Keyleth’s voice was soft and nostalgic. “I miss her so much."

Her father stepped away from the stove, making sure to turn it off beforehand, and approached her, crouching to her height and pulling her into a hug. “I know dear. I miss her too."

[riddlegecko]

Tag! You're It

Second DT Drabble, y'all! Just a heads up, this takes place in between chapters 18 and 19 of DTfiles, though I still recommend that you read chapter 19 before reading this.

Emma turned off the sink of the Watcher World's women's restroom, pumping out two sheets of paper towels from the dispenser. God, this place really was old-fashioned, wasn't it? If they couldn't afford an air-dryer or two, couldn't they have at least gotten one of those motion-activated towel dispenser things?

As Emma finished drying her hands, she couldn't help but feel like she was being... well, watched. Undoubtedly due to some chucklefuck's brilliant idea to have eye designs plastered throughout the restroom. Seriously, she could understand wanting to adhere to the park's theming, but this was just too much.

Still, she forced herself to disregard the weirdness of it all. She had a boyfriend waiting outside the Drowsy Town Theater who was probably worried sick about her. Maybe she should've asked Paul to walk with her to the restroom, might've quelled their worries a bit. Again, Emma shoved the thought aside. She was here for business. Business she wasn't getting paid for, mind you, but business nonetheless.

But as Emma stepped out of the restroom and into the balmy 70° air, she was met with a sight she wasn't expecting. The Blinky mascot she and Paul had encountered in the gift shop, standing mere feet away from the entrance to the women's restroom. Staring directly at her.

"Hello again~" Blinky greeted her in that familiar childlike voice. "Did you miss Blinky?"

"Not particularly, no," Emma replied in a deadpan tone, not willing to deal with more bullshit from this creep who threw Paul into a panic attack earlier. She attempted to walk around the stout purple cyclops, only for him to sidestep into her path. "Mind getting out of my way? I've got places to be."

Blinky didn't respond, simply choosing to stay frozen to his spot and wordlessly peer down at her. Emma could've sworn she heard him breathing heavily.

"Fucking move, dude!" she groaned irritably, attempting to step around him once more. Once again, Blinky shuffled into her path. "I don't have time for this!"

"Hehehehehe~" Blinky giggled. Did... did his lower eyelid just twitch? "Little Emma's getting grumpy~"

Emma froze. How did he know her name? She hadn't mentioned it during their first encounter, had she?

"Still afraid of what daddy told you~?" Blinky continued. "Still think that Blinky likes to hang around little girls?"

Emma's heart leapt into her throat, her eyes widening. "Wh-what!?" she sputtered in shock. How the fuck did he know about that!? Dad had always said it out of earshot! Not to mention that it'd been almost two decades since her last visit to Watcher World. Emma swallowed, attempting to hide her unease. "L-look, what do you want with me, man!?"

"You said to stay away from Paul," Blinky recalled, raising his arms up. "So Blinky wants to play with you instead~"

Blinky swung his arms out to grab her, and Emma narrowly dodged out of the way, stumbling to the ground. She looked around at the passing park-goers, who all appeared blissfully unaware. Had nobody seen that!? Emma looked back up at Blinky, who was slowly approaching her.

"Hehehehehehe~ Little Emmy Doll wants to play tag~" he chortled gleefully.

As Blinky came closer, Emma began to consider her options, trying to remain calm. Blinky was blocking her way back to the Drowsy Town Theater, and he'd probably grab her if she tried to charge past him. Not to mention, Paul was most likely still there, and Emma feared what would happen if she led Blinky back to him. She had no choice. She had to run in the opposite direction and hope Blinky lost track of her.

Not willing to let the cyclops come any closer, Emma rushed to her feet and sprinted off. As the distance between her and Blinky grew longer and longer, she could hear him burst into another giggle fit. She chanced a glance over her shoulder, and saw that Blinky was now giving chase, running after her on all fours like an animal. He appeared to be gaining on her, which gave her a jolt of adrenaline that allowed her to speed up a bit. God, of all the days to be chased, why'd it have to be the one where she chose to wear sandals?

Emma continued to run through the park, the sound of Blinky's ecstatic giggling growing closer by the second. She could still see the other park-goers in the corners of her vision, but they weren't doing anything to help her escape from this... thing that was clearly chasing her! If anything, they were just watching the chase play out!

Up ahead, Emma saw an opportunity to take a sharp right turn. An arrow-shaped sign pointing in that direction that read "This way to the Eye-Drop!". Emma continued to run straight for as long as she could before suddenly bolting to the right. When she glanced over her shoulder again, she saw her plan had worked. Blinky had anticipated that she would keep running straight, only to realize he had to force himself to turn at the last second, causing him to awkwardly skid to a halt. She could just barely see him tumble over as she turned back around. Emma took the opportunity to hide, ducking behind a wall and nestling herself between a vendor cart selling purple lemonade (whether it was actual grape-lemonade or just regular lemonade with purple food coloring is not something Emma was particularly concerned with at the moment) and an overflowing trash can.

Catching her breath, Emma cautiously peeked out from her hiding spot, surveying the area in case she had to start running again. The Eye-Drop, apparently a log flume ride, looked to be at the edge of the park. So unless she wanted to try her luck at climbing over the chain-link fence and escaping into the Witchwood surrounding the park, Emma was stuck in a dead end. The best case scenario was that Blinky walked into the center of the clearing without seeing her, so Emma could carefully sneak back out the way she came to go get help.

But when Emma glanced back towards the entrance, she saw that Blinky was just standing there, blocking her only way out as he scanned the area with his massive yellow eye. Emma wanted to scream. She was trapped, she was terrified, and her lungs felt like they were on fire from running. She had an idea. An idea she didn't wanna go through with lest it put Paul in danger, but an idea nonetheless.

Pulling her phone from her pocket (thank fuck she wore shorts with real pockets today), Emma tapped on Paul's contact, marked with his name and a pair of blue heart emojis. She considered calling him, but quickly banished the thought. If she called, Blinky would hear her. She just had to send Paul a quick message to let him know something was wrong, where she was, and that he needed to get to her ASAP. Thinking quickly, Emma typed up a message.

"PAUL SOS IN FRONT OF EYE-DROP"

Emma sent the message and put her phone away, praying that Paul didn't leave his phone on silent again. But just when she thought she could take a moment to breathe, the massive yellow eye of Blinky came into view, and Emma let out an instinctual scream of terror.

"Peekaboo, Emmy Doll~!" the cyclops exclaimed mockingly.

Before Emma could protest, Blinky lurched forward and grabbed her, lifting her from the ground with ease. He wrapped his bulky purple arms around her waist, pressing her back against his belly and pinning her arms to her sides. Despite how his tight grip was quickly squeezing the air from her lungs, Emma screamed as loudly as she could muster, kicking her legs out wildly as Blinky carried her out to the center of the clearing.

"No! No!" she cried, tears of fear stinging her eyes. "Put me down, please!"

"Hehehehehehe-HAAAAH~" Blinky giggled, punctuating it with a disgusting croak. "You're a squirmy little wormy, Emmy Doll~"

As Blinky stopped in the center of the clearing, he lowered Emma back down. He didn't release his grip on her, but her feet were touching solid ground again. Emma continued to scream, begging the people around her for help. But they didn't come to her aid. They just watched, with wide smiles and hungry purple eyes. Had they always been that color? Anyone who wasn't in line for the Eye-Drop or operating the ride had crowded around, presumably to watch Blinky do... whatever he was planning to do to her. Torture her, most likely. The reality of the situation began to sink in, and Emma's screams devolved into desperate cries.

"Please, just let me go!" she pleaded, hating how vulnerable and weak she sounded. She continued to try and thrash out of Blinky's grip, to no avail.

"We'll have none of that, miss!" an unfamiliar voice spoke up. "Here at Watcher World, we have a strict 'No crying' policy!"

Emma opened her tear-filled eyes to see three purple-outfitted people standing in front of her. A smiling man in a barker's outfit, a little old woman wrapped in a starry robe and shawl, and a stone-faced man in an usher's uniform.

"Wha...?" Emma huffed out tearfully. "Who-?"

"We're here to bring you to your big star turn at the Drowsy Town Theater, miss!" the Barker cut her off. "You've got a knack for this acting thing, don't you, miss? After all, you were in Brigadoon in highschool, and you fucking killed it, correct?"

Emma could only err and stammer in confusion as the Barker rambled on. She didn't even bother to ask herself how this random stranger knew about her 2003 portrayal of Bonnie Jean in Hatchetfield High's production of Brigadoon.

"Look at the poor dear!" the old woman spoke up, her voice pitying and condescending. "She's all shaken up!"

"Must be having stage fright," the Usher man said, his voice as flat as his appearance. He looked to the white-haired old woman. "Why don't you do your thing, Madame Iris?"

"Gladly, my boy!"

The old woman- Madame Iris apparently, stepped forward and raised her wrinkled, bony hands. The tips of her long, talon-like nails grazed Emma's face, sending a shiver of repulsion down her spine. The robe-clad old woman muttered a string of nonsense under her breath, and her appearance began to change. Her withered skin became smooth and youthful, her frizzy gray hair turned brown and silky, clean white teeth began to sprout out of her gums where they hadn't been before, and her robes and shawl morphed into a yellow tank top and jean shorts. Soon enough, where the old woman once stood, was a mirror replica of Emma herself.

The crowd around Emma cheered and clapped. Blinky- who still had Emma trapped in his arms, giggled in delight. Emma herself looked down at her legs, relieved to see that she hadn't somehow shifted into the haggard old woman. The woman wearing Emma's skin laughed, with Emma's laugh.

"Ah, look at me!" she cried happily, relishing her new look. "I'm a knockout! I'm as spry as a bird!"

Emma could've vomited watching this batshit old crone dancing around in her skin, running her hands over the skin of her arms and laughing in her voice. Though Emma did notice one thing off about her little spell.

"Nice try, dumbass," she spat bitterly. "My eyes are brown, not purple."

The not-Emma merely shrugged in reply. "We can't get rid of Lord Blinky's mark on us, no matter how drastically we change our appearance," she explained casually. "I'm sure it'll still be enough to fool your little boy toy, my dear~"

Emma's heart nearly stopped. "Wh-what're you going to do with Paul!?"

"That's not important, miss!" the Barker chimed in, stepping back up. "What's important is that we get you ready for your big debut at 5!"

"What the fuck does that mean!?" Emma demanded, trying once more to futilely worm her way out of Blinky's iron grip. "What're you going to do to me!?"

The Barker stepped aside, allowing the Usher to take his place. The Usher stooped down so he was at eye level with Emma, gently took her chin in his hand, and locked eyes with her.

"Aren't you tired, sweetheart~?" the Usher asked in a soft, strangely familiar voice. "Don't you want to sleep~?"

Emma felt her eyelids begin to droop, and her heart rate slow. "Puh-Paul...?" she asked drowsily.

"Go to sleep, sweetheart~" Paul- no, the Usher, no... Paul... told her gently. "Come to Drowsy Town with me~"

Emma fought to stay awake, but Paul... God, his voice was so soothing... And his hand felt so gentle on her face... So familiar, so reassuring...

She couldn't help but drift off.