#'profilers' literally don't exist and FBI had to add that info on their website because of this show

[sunnysam-my]

One of the funniest things in Criminal Minds to me was the writers poor attempt at making Reid look super smart. I say poor because, if you know anything about what they claim Spencer can do, you know why it's ridiculous.

1. Speed Reading.

It's a unique skill Spencer has that's used often through out the show. He claims he can read 20,000 words per minute. The thing is, the way he does it makes no sense.

First of all, when speed reading, you pay the price of comprehending the text. It is suggested by experts that speed-reading is most useful to those who need "to skim a large amount of material or need to improve their study skills" and less useful to those who read "highly technical material that requires careful study of each sentence". A lot of what Spencer reads is exactly that.

Second of all, on a normal book page, about 250-300 words fit on a page. Unless my math is incorrect, if he can read 20000 w/m then he can read 333.333 per second. He can read a book page in less than a second.

Even if my math is wrong, the average word count for adult fiction and non-fiction is between 70,000 to 120,000 words. ​The average word count in a book is between 60,000 and 100,000 words. He can read a 80,000 words long book in 4 minutes. He could read the entirty of Frankenstein by Mary Shelley (~75,000 words) in less than that.

2. Eidetic Memory

Again, I'm not really sure the writers even know what that means. Eidetic memory, also (incorrectly) known as total recall and photographic memory, is the ability to recall an image from memory with high precision, at least for a brief period of time, after seeing it only once.

The key words here are for a brief period of time. Unlike with photographic memory, it's a vivid afterimage that lingers. Additionally the memories often contain minor errors, including information that was not present in the original visual stimulus.

It's a very complicated and interesting matter, you can look into it more, but basically the writers just used it as an ass excuse to give Spencer perfect memory.

3. The Star Puzzle

I genuinely laughed at this scene. The Star Puzzle is literally a beginner-medium level puzzle. I have that star, I can see only 2, maybe 3 ways you can make a mistake while assembling it. My mom, who doesn't do those regularly like I do, only needed 15 minutes to figure out all on her own. The hard part is physically putting it together, because, until it's complete, nothing is holding the pieces together and they fall through your hands.

Noticed another thing? The way she describes it? "It's basically impossible to figure out. You have to put all the pieces back together to form a star." "It's basically impossible to do, because you have to take all those pieces and put them exactly…-" Like, yeah? That's how puzzles work??? Congratulations? All puzzles work like this. You have to put them together in the only correct order or solved them using the only solution. It's rare for puzzles to have more than one solution, that's kinda the point of them. And yeah, you can cheat usually, like with the star if you assemble it loosely and jam the last piece, but that's not the same.

And the thing is, there are harder versions of this, but no, they had to go with the identical 6 pieces. This just makes her look like an idiot.

4. His geeky overreactions were very reasonable, actually.

TBH I stopped watching CM a while ago, so don't remember as many situation as I used to, but I remember Phantasmagoria scene. Maybe this is more of geeky pet peeve of mine, but whatever.

Reid is 100% underselling Phantasmagoria here. It's not just a horror theatre play with a bit of science magic to spook the audience. They literally invented holograms for this.* Our modern image of a ghost? It's all thanks to Phantasmagoria which used live holograms** so the actors playing ghost could appear to be half transparent and floating.

You can still think that's not that cool, but wait, there's more. Other than that it used projects and many other 'magic tricks' to not only bring the monsters to life, so you can see them, but also feel them. Phantasmagoria used many special effects outside of visual illusion to make you feel cold winds, smells blood e.t.c. That's better than any other movie you can go to, especially since we're talking about reenactment, which use improved technology. Although you won't get drugged drinks before going in nowadays, so count that as a win or loss. On top of that, reenactments of Phantasmagoria are rare and for many this may be the only chance in their life to see it.

It's kinda like a walk-through haunted house, except you don't walk and there's a plot. The scene shows Spencer as some weird geek for being excited, which sucks. In general I could talk about how awful the teammates are to him half of the time, but that's not my biggest problem here. We as an audience are meant to find Reid's excitement and knowledge as lame and nerdy, but he's not even overreacting. That's a very tamed reaction when you invite your friends to possibly one in a lifetime chance to see this amazing horror magic, horror, theatre play.

*For horror shows in general, a bit earlier than Phantasmagoria, but it gave birth to it.

**Pepper's ghost isn't technically holographic, but you get it. Most people call it that anyway.