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cotccotc · 4 years ago

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SKZ + a ftm s/o !!

◌ ftm (female-to-male) refers to a transgender person who was assigned female at birth, but identifies as male. these people are awesome, lovely, brave, & valid !! (yes that’s part of the official definition !!!! look it up <3)

part of my eight as fate event !! ( requested by @lixsmullet ♡ )

genre/s: fluff, skz x ftm reader

warning/s: mentions of dysphoria, mentions of periods, one very brief implication of transphobia (NOT IN REFERENCE TO THE MEMBERS DW), use of various pet names, swearing, my dumb formatting and commentary uwu

wc: ~1.5k

a/n: i hope i did this req justice !!! i made sure to do a lot of research on topics that might come up in this situation so i hope everything is accurate, but also inclusive for multiple types of people within the ftm umbrella. the descriptions might not be too deep but pls know they were written with a lot of care. OH ALSO i included potential pet names they might use !! i really really hope y’all enjoy this :) lmk what u think !!

◌ CHAN

chan’s known for putting other people’s needs before his own, and this is no exception.

he’d be super giving !!! would buy you “world’s best boyfriend” mugs and shit !!! it’s cringe but you love him so it’s fine !!!

more on top of your doctors appointments or meds than you are tbh

boy oh boy… if you take/decide to start taking testosterone……

LOOK OUT HERE COMES THE T POLICE KJDF

he just wants to do everything he can to help you !!!!! whether it means literally helping you stay on top of things and being your at-home (emotional) therapist, or giving you space.

i feel like he’s very good at detecting how a person feels based on their face or body language, so he’d always be on the lookout in case you might be feeling off or dysphoric.

and, as much as it might pain him, he’d give you as much time/space as you need. once again, he has your best interest in mind 24/7 !!! he just loves you so much, you know? 🥺

potential pet names (as long as you’re ok with them !! that goes for each member.): babyboy (we saw this one coming), foxy/sexy (mostly sarcastic but also… True), sunshine

◌ MINHO

a thing that i personally love to imagine: minho introducing you to people as his boyfriend

if anybody ever gives either of you a questioning look afterward (either intentionally or not) he wouldn’t waver at all !!! he’d just stand there and keep smiling. because you’re his boyfriend, duh

constantly reminds you how strong you are !! how super tough and cool you are !!! because it’s true !!!!!!!

i feel like i always make him sound like the ceo of Boyfriend Bootcamp in my reactions but i MEAN???

for example, if you’re ever feeling down (for whatever reason. whether it applies to you being trans or not) he’d be like “MAN UP !!! YOU’RE A WARRIOR !!!! ……. a cute one <3333 bUT A STRONG ONE !!!!!!”

in general, i definitely see him as the type of person who’ll just grab your hand or hold you a little closer in situations where he thinks you might feel uncomfortable, and even if he doesn’t directly acknowledge it, you know there’s a lot of love and care behind the gesture.

also… you’re sad? here, hold a cat.

potential pet names: stud (as a joke.. but it stuck), anything that starts with “my” (like my boy, my baby, my love, etc.)

◌ CHANGBIN

ok listen

i’m not calling changbin lazy

HOWEVER

he will most definitely try and make you do “manly” things for him when he doesn’t feel like it- SJDJJ

imagine his raspy, tough, yet adorably whiny voice being all:

“BAAAABE…. BABYYYYYY….. come lift this fOR MEEEEEEEE”

ESPECIALLYYYY if you’re taller than him oh my Lord

BUT HE’D DENY IT AT ALL COSTS !!!

changbin, pointing to an object on a tall shelf: “BABE can you get this for me? you’re so strong you can do it <3333”

you: “short ass-”

changbin: “hEY”

ALSO if you menstruate, i personally believe that he would be very comforting to have around during that time !!!!! just chillin on the couch !!!!!! vibin !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

your very own personal heating pad <33 jksjfd

potential pet names: babe, bunny, hot stuff (sometimes used for moments of sarcasm !!! there are lots of those..)

◌ HYUNJIN

he’s very sweet and loving with you, which never changes despite anything you might be going through. like ,,,ever.

i can see him being especially sweet and helpful for someone who doesn’t want to or can’t surgically transition !!!!

would do everything he could to emphasize the fact that you’re his favorite boy !!!!

whether it’s through activities, pet names, playful jokes, etc., he always wants to remind you how manly and lovely you are !! lolll

i present to you a thought that just popped up in my head and Will Not Leave:

you might normally be the little spoon, but if you ever feel a bit off about your body or just don’t want to be held, THIS BOY WILL GET CURLED UP IN A LITTLE SPOON POSITION FOR YOU !! SO VERY FAST !!!

(is it also an excuse for him to be the little spoon? yeah maybe it is-)

potential pet names: hubby (regardless of whether or not you’re married sjdsdf), prince, things that start with “my”

◌ JISUNG

asks lots of questions !!!!!!! whenever he’s not sure how to proceed with something or has any general questions about being trans or how to support you, he’ll be completely transparent with you about it.

even though it makes him a lil embarrassed 🥺🥺

will overuse the terms “dude” and “bro” just to make you laugh… but you both know there’s a hidden underlayer of validation there

loves cheering you up when you’re not feeling your best !!!

also ,,,,,,Youtube Research Enthusiast

“hey y/n check this out! let’s try it :D” and it’s a two minute video about how to naturally lower your voice

and you go along with it because a.) he’s cute for suggesting it, b.) it could actually be useful, and c.) he’ll look cute stretching his neck for a few minutes and it would be a valuable use of your time to watch him do it <3 jsjdfh

oh also !!!! we know he’s just Like This anyways, but he will indeed take every chance he gets to kiss random parts of your body like your hands, shoulders, the tip of your nose, and anything else you’re comfy with :) he just likes 2 smooch, what can i say?

potential pet names: anything silly !! bubba, baby/babycakes, good lookin’, etc.

◌ FELIX

this is somewhat similar to what i’d suggested in my nonbinary coming out reaction, but i feel like he’d take a lot of care to make you feel more confident in yourself !!!

especially when it comes to your appearance !!!!! if you ever decide to try out a new hairstyle, different clothing, etc., he’d HYPE YOU UPPPPP omg

you: *exists*

felix: *silly smirk* “my handsome boy.. hehe” 🥺

bakes for u !!!!!!! will come over asap with freshly baked cookies if he even senses you might not be feeling your best !!!!!!!!!!!!!

we all know he’s a real cuddlebug, but since you’ve explained dysphoria to him (to the best of your ability), it’s very important to him that he doesn’t overstep with the physical affection

he might also suggest you use a code word or gesture to signify if it’s ok for him to get all close and cuddly with you !! he knows you have your off days, and the last thing he wants to do is emphasize your insecurities.

he loves you more than anything, and he just wants to see you smile :)

potential pet names: handsome, love, sweets (bc ya know,,, brownie boy things <3)

◌ SEUNGMIN

would regularly spend hours and hours doing research on trans rights, different forms of transitioning, other people’s perspectives (both in his position and yours), etc

honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if he posted some questions on a website like reddit or quora or something from time to time SJDK (but eventually he’d be much more comfortable asking you directly, especially since he knows not every person is the same)

he really just wants to make sure he understands how you feel to the best of his ability in order to best care for you !!!

VERY VERY diligent if he has to adjust to new pronouns. would practice that shit like it’s his JOB.

i think he’d just be very scared of screwing something up, which you might have to console him about from time to time.

you know he’s trying his best to a.) not make this about himself and b.) do everything in his power to support you

sorta similarly to changbin, i think he’d be nice to have around if you’re ever on your period !! overall, this boy would do his RESEARCH

potential pet names: baby, mister (for some playful sarcasm), bear (or baby bear, honey bear, etc.)

◌ JEONGIN

if you’re ever feeling dysphoric, depressed, anxious, or generally not the best, he will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to cheer you up.

you: :(

jeongin: “ok fine you have permission to poke my cheeks all day”

you: :D

jeongin: :D

is also very similar to changbin !!!!! he’ll very dramatically give up on a task that requires even the slightest bit of manliness just so you can do it for him…. because he’s laz- i mean thoughtful <33

ok picture something with me besties (and this is quite random so bear with me):

he buys you cologne. cute !! very sweet of him yes <3 …...but the Backstory-

he had No idea what kind to get, so he went to the store and tried on like 10 different kinds until he realized he could just swatch them on a piece of paper so now he’s covered in cologne and he buys the one he thought was his favorite but he comes home to realize it was the WRONG ONE so he has to go back to the store and test them all again until he finds the one

..all just so he could surprise you & make you feel more masculine :’)

anyways LONG STORY SHORT: innie best boy :D

potential pet names: bun (in reference to bread, of course. you must match.), handsome, sexy (BUT ONLY IF YOU SAY IT RIGHT BACK !!!!!! sexy loaf boyfriends aw <3)

tags: @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @kisskissbanggang, @mr-jisung-main, @childofthecosmos, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @sunshine-skz, @vera-liscious, @thatrandomoneinthecorner, @cyberskz, @seungminsaidsta, @somethingrandomworld, @ethan806 ( join my tag list !! )

#districtninewriters #inkidz #skzwritersclub #fluffyskzclub #straykidsland #*fics #*8 #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #skz #stray kids #skz ot8 #stray kids ot8 #skz reactions #stray kids reactions #tw: gender dysphoria #tw: transphobia #tw: periods

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loveislandthegamefan79 · 2 years ago

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Day 1 "The Games Begin"

Ariella arrives in front of the iconic villa,She totally in awe the outside is so beautiful she can't wait to see the rest of the place...As she's walking up to the door a beautiful girl comes out and greets her...

Dana: Hello there gorgeous my name is Dana...You are a freakin' bombshell girl...

Ariella: Why thank you it's so nice to meet you Dana my name.is Ariella...

Dana: Like wise,So how you feeling about all this? Me I'm really nervous for some reason...

Ariella: How am I feeling about all this you ask? To be honest I have a lot of mixed emotions, I'm excited but at the same time I'm also really nervous...

Dana: Well don't worry girl we can be nervous together and try to help each other out...

Ariella: Sounds like a plan to me...Now let's get in there and check out this amazing villa...

They both walk back into the villa just taking it all in

Ariella: Ohh I see bubbly, that's what I'm talking about...

Dana: I know right, don't worry my girl is waiting over there at that table to pop a bottle...

Ariella: What are we waiting for girl let's go...

They both head over to the girl that's been waiting patiently

Kat: It's about time I was getting really impatient...I almost opened it with out you...

Dana: I'm glad you didn't, let's getting poppin' that bottle

Kat opens the bubbly and pours you all a glass,She raises her glass...

Kat: Let's make a toast, I'll start and you....Omg I totally forgot to ask your name, I'm so so so sorry...

Ariella: it's all good you was excited about that wine... But my name is Ariella...

Kat: It's so good to meet you Ari...Can I call you Ari?

Ariella: Yeah it's totally cool I don't mind.

Kat: Great, I'm telling you now Ari you are some tough competition you are gorgeous...

Ariella: Why thank you I know I'm fire I know how to dress to impress, especially for the boys... Believe me imma keep all you on your toes...

Kat: Loving the confidence Babes...But I'm going to be some big competition myself...I know how to dress to impress and I get what I want majority of time... I believe in girl-code and all that but if one of you are with a guy I like I won't be afraid to step on y'all's toes to get em'

Dana: Oh wow ok ok

Ariella: I usually get what I want too...So if my guy is worth fighting for I will definitely do everything in my power to hold on to them...

Kat: Okay enough of all this let's get to this toast...To a summer of Love and Lust and a whole lot of Fanny Flutters..,

Kat is looking to you to finish off the toast

Ariella: 🥂 And to a summer of Fresh starts and new beginnings.

Kat: Fresh starts huh? I'm betting there's a juicy story there Ari...

Ariella: Oh there is I just don't want to get in to right now...

Dana: It's cool you don't have to tell us right now,tells us when ever your ready to

Ariella: Tanks guys

Thee girls all head over to the fire pit with wine in hand just chatting away...A Text comes through...

Girls, get ready to meet the boys! But there might just be an unexpected surprise for one of you. #HereComesTheBoys #FirstCoupling

Kat: Okay girls the boys are on there way let's go to the dressing room and make sure we look our absolute best...

The girls hurry off to the changing room freshing up there make-up and hair...They are looking absolute banging.

Ariella: I wonder what this surprise is?

Kat: I don't know,But I have a feeling it might have to do with you.,.

Ariella: Me! Really why do you think that?

Kat: I don't know it's just a hunch.

The girls are all freshened up and make there way out to the lawn..

@luckyqueenreign @oliverslove @mrsbsmooth @beesandfigsblog

If you can please reblog and tag LITG fanfic reader's

#litg #litg fanfic

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day6smutlog · 3 years ago

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Beautiful Mother

Jae x Pregnant!reader

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Slight Angst

Warning: Unprotected sex, self-hate (only a lil bit)

Word Count : 1.7k

You stand in front of your full-length mirror in your undergarments, checking out your body, and coming to realize how noticeable your baby bump has become. A few months ago, after weeks and weeks of trying to get you pregnant, you finally saw those two red lines. It still makes you tear up every time you think about that life-changing day.

—————————————–

“HOLY SHIT JAE CODE RED! I REPEAT THIS IS A CODE RED WITH DOUBLE LINES!” Jae frantically runs to your upstairs bathroom, always slipping up the stairs twice in the process, he couldn’t believe it until he saw those lines. Seeing you in tears, your hand over your mouth, speechless, the amount of happiness and excitement overwhelmed your whole being. “We’re finally going to be parents Jae!” handing him the test, he hasn’t said a single word ever since he got to you. He stands there in silence, holding the test in his hands, his eyes glued to those powerful red lines, smiling like a fool. His eyes go watery and brings you close to his chest, hugging you tightly.

“I can’t believe it.. I’m gonna be a dad.��

You both share a soft loving kiss, a kiss that would be the start of your new chapter of life together. “You’re going to be the best mom ever,” Jae says with full confidence. “I can’t wait to brag about you and our lil kid to the guys. Our kid is going to be surrounded by the most loving uncles,” smiling as bright as the sun. You smile back, thinking about all things you, Jae, and your child will do together as a family.

“Fifty bucks that our lil BOY will be as handsome as his father.”

“Babe that’s so cute, but we both know that our lil GIRL will be as smart as her mother.”

“So the bet is on?” raising his eyebrows.

“Oh it is so on.”

📱 ~THE BOYS🐻🐥🦊🐰🐶~ 📱

Lesgeddit: GUYS Y/N’S FINALLY PREGNANT!!!

Bob: Wait omg r u serious

Bob: Congratulations 🎉🎉

Bob: Say congrats to Y/n for me too will ya

Imdrum: CONGRATS HYUNG 😭😭

Imdrum: Waa~ guys we’re gonna be uncles

Pirimiri: I can’t wait to teach them how to play the piano 🥺️🎹

Lesgeddit: Um who said I was going to let my child be around snakes?? 🤨

Burger Kang: Hyung I think I’m gonna tear up 😪

Burger Kang: I’m already thinking about all the places your kid is gonna eat at with his cool uncle brian 😭🍴

Lesgeddit: Sungjin

Lesgeddit: Remind me to appoint you as my child’s official godfather

Bob: I’m glad you’re already in the responsible father mindset 👍👍

The rest of the boys: WHAT

—————————————–

Although you were excited for you and Jae’s first child and proudly rub your belly, you can’t help but see how much your body has changed throughout the pregnancy so far. Does your husband still find you attractive even with the bigger belly and the slight weight gain? The more you stare at yourself the more insecure you felt about your body. It was getting harder and harder for you to feel as pretty as you used to be. You hated the way your jeans hugged your thighs so tightly to the point where it gave you discomfort and how your slim physique has slightly been fading. Happy for the birth of your baby? Hell yes. But watching your stomach grow bigger and bigger and watching the sizes in your clothes jump? Yea that really bummed you out.

“Knock knock,” says your tall lanky husband, walking into your shared bedroom.

“Y/n? Do you need help with picking what to wear for our date? You’ve been in here for almost half an hour,” leaning down to kiss your stomach then coming back up to caress the side of your face. Putting your hand onto his, you take a small step back to look at your already dressed-up man. Jae decided to go casual with a short-sleeve white dress shirt with a simple grid-like pattern composed of thin black lines, and pairing them with his go-to black ripped jeans. He finished the outfit off with black converse shoes and his black and gold framed glasses as well as styling his hair in a cute messy bowl cut. He looked just as handsome as he was on the day of your wedding if not even more handsome.

*Sigh*

“I’m sorry baby, I’ve just not been feeling myself lately. It’s hard to pick something out when everything I put on just looks bad to me.” He could hear the hurt in your voice. “Do you still see me as your pretty wife even with the extra pounds?” you asked in a pout, lowering your head down. Jae scans the room, miscellaneous pieces of clothing scattered across the floor. It broke his heart to see you think this way about yourself. You were always beautiful to him, whether it be seeing you in a glitzy dress or even this morning where he held your hair up as you vomiting last night’s dinner in the toilet because of your morning sickness. He was not going to let this unneeded negativity take over you during the rest of your pregnancy, not on his watch.

"Babe come on… what the heck are you talking about?“ shaking his head, showing his disapproval. "You look gorgeous, you always do. Don’t get yourself all worked up for nothing, I mean seriously you’re literally glowing! I hate the fact that you’re viewing yourself this way when you give me butterflies in my stomach every morning I wake up next to you.” A light blush crept up to your cheeks, Jae always knew how to make you feel better, he just knew you too well. Jae glides his hands down to your hips, tightening his grip on them, bringing you closer to his embrace, your foreheads touch.

“And maybe I haven’t been showing you how hot you’ve gotten lately,” saying in a lower register with his eyes closed.

“What do you mean by you haven’t been showing me?” you asked in confusion, backing yourself up to look at him and tilting your head to the side ever-so-slightly.

"SEE I HAVEN’T DONE IT IN SO LONG YOU EVEN FORGOT!“ bringing his hands up in exclamation.

"Jae you’re gonna have to show me because I honestly have no clue of what you’re talking about,” folding your arms.

Jae immediately unbuckles his belt, his fingers fumbling to pull the zipper of his jeans down. “HEY WHOA WHOA MR PARK WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” you yelled, trying to stop him from revealing his you-know-what. “I’m doing what you said,” successfully pulling his pants down including his boxers. He picks you up and carries you to the bed, being extra careful with your back. “I haven’t made love to you in a long time. We haven’t had sex ever since we found out you got pregnant.” You felt a familiar sensation start to form in your stomach, and it certainly was not the baby this time. You ease into the idea until you notice the alarm clock sitting next to the bed. “But honey what about our da-” His lips quickly come into contact yours, shutting you up at an instant.

“The date can wait. But this can not.”

He stares into your eyes as you stare into his, his eyes grew dark, it lost its pure gleam. You could feel a lustful-like aura overpowering his normal youthful nature. You can see almost see a purple-like hue in his pupils. Jae soon removes his upper clothes as well as your undergarments and makes his way down your body, his head aligning with your cunt. He starts kissing your inner thighs, moving closer and closer to where you needed him the most but never reaching to it. You feel your pussy twitch as it aches for Jae’s hard growing length.

“Honey please, I’m already wet enough just fuck me already,” you whined, biting your bottom lip. Ascending back up until you were able to both face each other, he aligns his cock to your entrance, teasing you with a few circles around the lips. Jae pushes himself into you, letting your walls meet his member once again, his cock fully coated by your arousal. The increased blood flow in your core from your pregnancy made you become very sensitive down there. A spew of moans released from your lips as you were overwhelmed by the immense feeling of being filled up.. It’s been so long, way too long. “Fuck baby you’re so tight and wet,” groaning into your neck.

Jae starts to pick up the pace, his cock moving in and out, stretching your walls, stimulating the nerves in your cunt. Your pussy sucks him back in as soon as he pulls away, tightly wrapping his long length, he couldn’t help but fall his head back and shut his eyes from how hard you clenched onto his hard cock, focusing on nothing but you. The squeaking sounds of the shaking bed turned you on even more. “J-Jae I’m gonna c-cum, f-faster please,” your shaky hands reach to his arms, holding onto them tightly as you feel the coil in your stomach getting ready to unwind itself. Jae pulls you into his chest, ramming himself deeper into you at rapid speed. “Oh god! Y/n!” Your nails dug deeper into his skin as his tip began hitting your cervix. The lewd wet sounds coming from his thrusts became louder, your moans of Jae’s name became more repetitive, like a mantra, like all you could say was his name.

“Shit!” His warm cum shoots into your core, filling it up with white, your pussy throbbing around his cock, trying to squeeze every last drop of his seed. Breathing heavily against one another, still holding each other as you both ride out your highs. The supposed-to-be uncomfortable stickiness of your sweaty chests’ didn’t bother you one bit. “Feeling better?” chuckling with a half-breath, running his finger through his even more of a messy bowl cut. You graze over his soft plump lips, “Yeah,” smiling into your kiss.

“So are you up for another round or have you decided what to wear for our date?”

“I think I’ll wear a dress this time. It’s been a while since you’ve seen me in one right?”

“4 months, 2 weeks, and 5 days counting.”

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jean----ralphio · 4 years ago

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Ep 5 of BoB tiiiime <3

Episode 5: Crossroads, but I’m renaming it “Holy crap is this a whooper of an ep, guys. So much haaaappeeeeens. Also, I freaked out cos I thought it was Bastogne but now I’m like oh phew. That’s for Future!Laura to freak out about”.

Ready? Let’s go!

01:15 Johnny ‘unimpressed’ Martin pulling one of his patented bitch-faces in the credits, we stan.

02:31 OHHHHH IT’S IRL DICK! We love you!!!

03:45 God I love the technique they use with the shaking, ground-level camera whenever Dick is running. It’s so realistic. And how he’s gasping for breath. Not like in movies when people just seem to run forever so easily. This whole scene, the pacing and the setting, you don’t know what’s happened or what’s happening currently, all you know is he’s running and alone and breathless and it’s all so frantic and my heart just cannot take it with this fucking show you guys!

04:04 Oh God. The kid. He sorta smiles? He doesn’t get it at first. I can’t.

04:10 SCHOONDERLOGT??!! THIS PLACE IS CALLED SCHOONDERLOGT? I LOVE IT!!!

04:34 Wake up from your post-coital nap, Nix!

04:42 Genuinely thought Dick was slapping his butt LMAO

04:46 HOE DON’T DO IT

04:55 I love how Dick is horrified for exactly a split second and then he’s just like LOL. Real talk, when does he laugh around anyone but Nix? He smiles around others but not the same as when he’s with Nix, and he sure as heck doesn’t laugh. Except for maybe with Harry. But Harry’s Harry, it’s a given.

05:15 Nix has forgiven him quickly, it seems. Probably because Dick let him sit in the front seat.

05:22 They’re so married.

06:13 Don’t flirt with Dick’s husband, Hot Brit.

06:23 He just did it again, after I specifically told him not to! You’re on thin ice now, Hot Brit.

06:47 Dick hasn’t been doing his homework.

06:54 No Dick, Nix is busy with his new hot friend, go do your homework.

07:07 What happens if you make a mistake on a typewriter? Can’t backspace lol. Imagine all that typing, getting to like the last character and fucking it up.

07:26 DOGGIE!

08:00 OK I’m sorry which guy was it that just burst in screaming “PENETRATION!” I need to marry them even though I’m already married, and I don’t think it was Rich. Whoever it was, I want to shake their hand, at least.

08:17 No. Do not blame Lieb for anything, ever.

08:29 Roe in action <3

08:39 “Hey Alley.” “Heyyy.” I love them. My babies <3

08:53 The boys want revenge.

09:33 Lol @ Tab, “They’re not as smart as me and you?”

10:23 ISTG I need a translation or subtitles for the hand-signals. I would hard out be chillin at the back yelling “WTF MAN. DICK! HEY DICK! I. DO. NOT. UNDERSTAND. YOU.” And then we’d all die cos they’d hear.

10:26 RICH! IT’S RICH YOU GUYS!!!

11:22 RICH <3

12:14 LMAO Lieb is so excited.

12:33 Dick is so fucking smart, making sure everyone has a target to eliminate so they’re not outnumbered for long and the most immediate threats are taken care of <3

12:38 RICH <3 It’s so cool to see him doing his mortar thing, not just comic relief or providing me with dopamine by simply existing.

14:29 The gunshots and then crossing to the typewriter keys ugh this shooooooow

15:40 Enter?? LMFAO Who says that!! Oh look, Nix has come to apologize for encouraging the flirtatious Hot Brit. He missed you <3

15:52 Dick is in love with Nix. And Nix is in love with Dick. Husbands <3

16:15 This entire exchange is the most A+ flirting. I love how Dick just plants the thought and leaves it to Nix. He doesn’t push. He accepts Nix as he is and <3’s him

16:59 LOL @ Nix “That’s not literature… say ‘we’ a lot,” so supportive and helpful.

17:35 Nervous boys

17:41 Johnny ‘unimpressed’ Martin is starting to bitch-face, watch out…

17:52 Oh no.

18:12 Lol @ Lieb, you can see he’s yelling

18:35 Dick looks so BAMF

19:11 Hoob, it’s not a competition!

20:00 Web <3

20:08 Johnny, chill!

20:48 Oh Web. “Jesus Christ, they got me!” Rivalling Buck for being dramatic af, baby

21:24 Aw Dick

21:36 Lieb find some chill for once in your life. Are you upset Web got hurt?

21:42 Do not speak to your father that way!

21:59 You’re in time-out, young man!

22:17 Ross McCall is freaking hot omg. LMAO @ Lieb though, his Dad is not happy and now he’s grounded.

22:30 No, Web, no one believes much of what you say tbh, sweetie. Still <3 you though.

24:01 You can tell it’s Nix by the way he walks and his shoulders <3333

24:16 Nix doesn’t know who that is aw

24:34 Aw Nix trying to be comforting and supportive the way Dick was to him earlier. But his husband is too moody.

25:53 I love that Sink asks it that way, “How would you feel?” Rather than surprise bitch you’re doing it. I mean you don’t say no to that kinda thing but still. Sink = <3 He’s such a babe

26:16 RICH! EVERYONE STOP, NOTHING ELSE WILL EVER MATTER IT’S RICH. I was starting to miss him in case you couldn’t tell. Lol wtf is he doing to Penk’s ear, and why with a spoon??!!

26:26 Aw Dick. He wants to know his sons will be well looked after by their new stepdad.

26:35 ROE <3

26:47 Nix couldn’t stay away long

27:05 NIX! No!

27:14 LMAO bacon sandwich. Loves how Dick gives the report to Nix, not his orderly.

27:26 He missed you obvs

28:13 Moose, you look after his sons!

28:29 Aw Dick can’t let go <3

28:38 Nix’s resigned little sigh and shoulder slump aha

28:54 Bull! Missed you! As identifiable as ever by the cigar… but is now the best time to be smoking it??

29:31 Their code is Leicester Square! So cute!

29:46 Lieb is so eager for blood-shed

30:40 Aw they gave Moose a beret!

30:39 Dick is jealous he doesn’t get a beret! But he’s so happy his sons are safe.

31:17 I always scream.

31:50 Roe <3 “Mo’phine.”

32:11 “You oughtta. You are officers, you are grown-ups! You oughtta know!” ICONIC. My heart. His faaaaace. Shane Taylor <3333

32:19 The bloody handprint omg

32:46 The boss jacket returns <3

33:11 Nix is so proud.

33:41 We missed you Bill <3

33:48 Dad’s a busy man now Bill.

34:25 “I don’t wanna see another piece of paper!” Dick is always such a mood. Never change, Dick <3

34:20 Whatcha doing, Nix? About to propose? God I wish. You know Dick would say yes.

34:35 Don’t interrupt the proposal, Harry!

34:42 Dick and I are just both going to pretend we didn’t hear that, Nix. Canon not accepted.

34:59 Dick would rather be with you tbh

35:30 So they all just sit around in parade dress? Wait is that parade dress? It is, isn’t it? Someone @ me?

35:34 Rude

36:05 Dick. Don’t stare at the child, Dick.

36:52 Dick. Stop. Seriously.

38:05 Can’t tell if that’s cute or weird tbh

38:31 He’s moping cos he misses Nix

39:03 Unf

39:30 Joe/Charlie <3 Missed you

39:38 I don’t know what I love more, Luz being such a troll or Rich. Hang on, what am I saying. Rich.

39:44 RICCCHHHH

39:48 Iconic. ILY Rich

40:00 Easy Mum and Joe/Charlie are so mad lmao. The just wanna watch the movie, shut up kids.

40:17 Dad’s back, Buck, it’s OK now.

40:42 Oh Buck </3

40:57 Joe/Charlie is about to shank you, Luz, stop.

41:02 Iconic.

41:19 Who dis bitch?

41:23 All I see is Rich.

41:34 Rich! Dramatic af

42:02 Oh Buck </3

42:42 Dad’s not happy

43:09 Dad’s. Not. Happy.

43:54 Babe looking cute <3

44:09 Rich <33333333

44:40 Stop hazing the new kid, guys!

45:14 Rich LMAO “We can’t be in Hell, it’s too damn cold!” We <3 you

46:11 Strayer’s a bit useless, let’s be honest

46:31 Babe <3

47:50 LMAO JIMMY FALLON

48:00 Joe/Charlie just wants all the ammo

48:22 RICH

48:38 “We’re paratroopers, lieutenant, we’re supposed to be surrounded.” Dick you are an icon.

49:31 ITS RICH

49:54 Love that, Dick walking in the space between the rows of his men <3

50:19 So ominous 0.o

In conclusion, I love this show.

#band of brothers #liveblog #winnix #ep 5 #hits right in the feels

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curioussubjects · 5 years ago

Text

come be a season 12 truther, baby, with me

In honor of tonight’s Berens/Glynn episode (!!!!), I’d like to take y’all on a magical journey in which I share why I think Dean and Cas got together in season 12.

Keep in mind that this post takes for granted that Dean and Cas are in love with each other and that their relationship has been increasingly coded as romantic with each passing season. Consequently, what this post does is point out some key moments in their relationship and argue why they don't get together before 12. I'll also go briefly over 13 and 14 for reasons I'll explain later in the post. First, though, let me go over seasons 4 through 11, with some pit stops along the way:

Seasons 4 & 5: this isn’t the destiel you are looking for. the ust is delicious, yes, and i, too, got sucked in posthaste immediately groped by an angel lj community style. At this point Cas is still too alien for anything beyond the development we see on screen happen. HOWEVER, season 5 is the first time we get to see Cas being human (The End) and Cas being less connected to heaven and how that affects his behavior. This will matter.

Seasons 6 & 7: the pining omg the pining. The notable things I want to point out with these seasons is a. this is the beginning of Cas doing things to spare Dean and it not ending well (Cas dies #1, soulless!Sam); b. Dean is v. sad; and c. we also start noticing the emotional toll of Cas’s divided loyalties and how human he has actually become since s4. Hurty feels all around.

Season 8: purgaytory babes aw yeah! Still lots of terrible awful pining. This is a turning point with the addition of the bunker as tfw hq: we have a home in play now, a static emotional center. Cas is still off doing his own thing, Dean still wishes Cas would just let him (+ Sam) help out. Cas going off on his own leads to disaster #2 (Angels fall, Cas loses his Grace). For all deliciously angsty get together purgatory fics and spec, there’s too much of a gap between Dean and Cas on Cas’s part due to his guilt over betraying the Winchesters in s6 & slaughtering angels & leviathan. On the other hand, we do see Dean being more emotionally open, but to no avail. Bad timing. This is a trend. [oop also worth noting we get Dean being kinda done with the one night stand thing because always with the adios and ahem also hint hint Cas refusing to stay put]

Seasons 9 & 10: aka Dean and Cas make bad decisions, but mostly Dean. The biggest turning point here is Cas being human for an extended period of time. There is still plenty of spec over the effects of being human on Cas’s Grace and his Soul. What we can say for sure, though, is that Cas is much more human once he becomes an angel again. In contrast to s8, s9 sees Cas being vulnerable and Dean pushing him away (first because of Gadreel, which he didn’t want to do really and that’s even sadder kdjfgksdfj & later because he was pushing everyone away due to the mark).

9.06 Heaven Can’t Wait: there’s been so much amazing fic and spec about this episode with its fanfiction gap, but I can’t see a deancas get together here, folks. I know, it’s terrible. The lying from Dean and the hurt from Cas, imo, make the distance between them quite insurmountable at this point. While the episode is amazing (Bobo’s debut, too! So ♥) and has some notorious subtext throughout, I just can’t see the character bridging that gap into anything physical, much less emotional. Nevertheless, this episode does show perhaps the first intentional romantic tableaux with Dean and Cas, and that’s not nothing.

10.16 Paint it Black: from the point Dean gets the mark of cain until the end of season 10, anything between him and Cas is quite impossible. But one of the reasons I’m bringing up this episode in particular is because of the confession scene. For one, it’s a rare bit of emotional honesty from Dean and for two, it tells me that while he and Cas may be well aware of the thing between them, it’s still uncharted waters. Makes sense, too, there’s been A LOT going on since s6. Anyway, he’s the full confession, so we can put a pin on it:

You know, the life I live, the work I do…I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it. [...] Now, um… recent events, uh… make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And…I don’t know. I mean, you know, there’s – there’s things, there’s…people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time. [...] Yeah, I’m just starting to think that… maybe there’s more to it all than I thought.

Do you ever see a character having an epiphany and find yourself wanting to cry because this is it right here. Dean is just blatantly admitting he wants more, which all culminates in season 11, so...

Season 11: The pining is still here, but it’s worse now since it’s the whole plot? It’s been *checks calendar* 5 years of this. How are any of us still kicking I don’t know. Your slow burns could never. Cool worth noting points: Cas says yes to Luci (bad decision #2.5, lots of mitigating effects_I don’t actually hold it against him that much but Dean is another story & not entirely rational at this point); for the first time since the early days, Dean and Cas are on equal grounds: they’ve both fucked up a lot and have hurt each other. The issues this season are outside their dynamic. Amara and Lucifer here serve as externalizing forces for Dean and Cas’s problems and by the end of the season we’re getting a clean slate. We’re also getting a new showrunner, so. No wonder. What this season does that is also super important is that it sets up the stage for the possibility of an actual relationship between Dean and Cas, something that has, up until this point, been pretty much impossible.

11.04 Baby: Y’all know what I’m about to quote here, right? The convo between Dean and Sam about having something with someone who understands the life. Here we still have Dean reverting to the idea that it’s impossible, which is a direct contrast to the openness in 10.16. It’s understandable, though, considering there’s been little reason to think anything like that would be possible (see all the mess and poor timing from seasons past). The quote in question, though, marks a continuing development in on of the things Dean is struggling with this season:

DEAN: Piper? That's awesome. Heather. One-night wonders, man. Shoot, we're lucky we still get that at all. SAM: Really? You don't . . . Ever want something more? DEAN: I'm sorry, have you met us? We're batting a whopping zero in domestic life, man. Goose eggs. SAM: You don't ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever. But . . . Something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life?

Compare this exchange with what we get from 11.11 and 11.19:

11.11 Into the Mystic: I’m bringing this episode as a crossreference to 10.16 and to show again that for all the closeness between Dean and Cas there’s still a marked distance they haven’t yet bridged. Thanks Mildred for the delicious exposition:

Darlin'...If there's one thing I've learned in all my years on the road, it's when somebody's pining for somebody else. [...] Oh, don't try and hide it now. Follow your heart. Remember?

11.19 The Chitters: Continuing our trek regarding Dean wanting certain things we have this gift of an episode with Jesse and Cesar, and this exchange:

Dean: [with realization] Oh, so … [points back and forth to Jesse and Cesar] Cesar: Yeah. Dean: Okay, that’s… Cesar puts his beer bottle on the table and looks at Dean, while Jesse is being silent. Dean: What’s it like, settling down with a hunter? Cesar: Smelly, dirty. [turns to Jesse] Twice the worrying about getting ganked.

I’d like to point out, too that the fear of getting ganked is thematic when it comes to the tension between Dean and Cas. More on this when we hit s13.

Alright, now having said that, let’s take a look at season 12. Bear in mind, this is the official start of Dabb’s era, even if he kinda began taking over in 11, and the change in vibes is obvious. In fact, 12 jumped out at me as a turning point in retrospect, after getting smacked by the domesticity of 13 and 14. Under the cut because I can’t shut up, and things are long enough as is.

Season 12: Finally, the promise land, y’all. So, what s11 was for Dean in terms of setting up the relationship stage, s12 was for Cas. In its initial beats, any way. Important to keep in mind that until the Kelly debacle, this was the longest Cas has been around the bunker. Things seem remarkably chill. Of course, we’ll notice that there’s still a lot of baggage hanging around because despite Dean and Cas being in a more stable place, they haven’t actually dealt with their interpersonal problems. I didn’t single out directly this episode, but do keep in mind Cas’s declaration in 12.09 First Blood as far as how much the Winchesters matter to Cas & how we also see Dean and Cas be particularly singled out with them seating together in the backseat of the Impala.

12.10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets: This episode, oh my god, the goodness. In the wake of 12.09 we have Dean and Cas in a tiff because Cas mistake #3 (killing Billie and “cosmic consequences”), this is a pattern. Twice the worry of getting ganked, etc etc. But where this episode really shines is through the contrast between Ishim’s obsession with Lily and Cas & Dean’s mutual affection for each other. Ishim sees no difference here and, to him, Cas’s feelings for Dean are a human weakness. Returning to my point about human!Cas, this episode underscores that Cas’s increasing humanity is what puts him in the place where he can want what Dean wants instead of either being too alien to get it (see s4 & 5) or unable to experience it properly (Ishim).

12.12 Stuck in the Middle (With You): Cas’s trajectory culminates here with the whole I love you (@ Dean), I love all of you (@ Winchesters). Let’s note too that Cas is dying here, in a way that is much more human than going up in light. This declaration of different types of love is entirely human. It’s also a definitive step wrt to Cas and Dean’s relationship because of what happens in 12.19. This. is. it.

Offscreen happenings: Mixtape, how Cas knows the Colt is under Dean’s pillow. This is hella suspicious.

12.19 The Future: This episode changes everything, y’all (bobo and meredith, folks, bobo and meredith ksjdhfakjshlfksd). Consider watching this episode again and pay attention to some weird things: 1. Dean’s reaction to Cas going awol. Compare it to Sam’s, who is like whoa Dean chill. Now, thought experiment, imagine something happened between Dean and Cas, and then just radio silence from Cas. Imagine how Dean would react with getting ghosted by Cas specifically after something happened between them. 2. Cas comes back to the bunker with the specific goal of stealing the Colt, which he already knew was under Dean’s pillow -- something Sam didn’t even know. 3. “He came into my room and he played me.” So, this quote right there, makes it seem like some seduction for personal gain, right? But Cas clearly knew where the Colt was already, which means something happened before Cas came back to the bunker. Cas played Dean in seeming to have reconsidered not working with Sam and Dean wrt Kelly. This is still a point of drama, but it leads somewhere else (see s13 & s15). 4. WHEN DID DEAN GIVE CAS THAT MIXTAPE OMG 5. Dean and Cas’s brief convo in Dean’s room is clearly Dean just wanting Cas to stay, so they can work (and be) together -- because they’re better that way. Which, yeah, truth.

Sequence of events: Cas tells Dean he loves him -- Dean is clearly shook by it -- Dean gives Cas a mixtape (romantic gesture, often a declaration of feelings; in true Dean speak too lolsobs) -- Cas somehow knows the Colt is under Dean’s pillow -- ???? -- Cas goes awol -- Dean acts like he got ghosted by his partner.

Like. Y’all realize they probably had some emotionally constipated getting together moment, right? Something that Dean clearly initially thought meant things were gonna change, now. Something that Cas couldn’t allow to happen until he could give Dean a win. Y’all are seeing this, yeah? I’m not saying they slept together and were full of feelings, except that’s kind of what I’m saying. But ymmv, there are other possibilities beyond sex. The full of feelings isn’t up for debate, though, even if the whole thing is informed by ridiculous amounts of miscommunication.

Ok, maybe the narrative is still too subtle (?????), but as I said before, looking at 12 with the knowledge of 13 and 14 does offer a new perspective because of the difference in dynamic between Dean and Cas. I know lots of people look at 14, mainly, as having dialed back on the destiel side of things, but I always thought that was a strange take. Largely because they’re so domestic and their dynamic, ie, the lack of tension, reads like an established relationship. It’s a different kind of beast than we have been used to so far, so it does look alien on screen, especially since we “skipped” the conventional getting together cue that would let us change gears. Let’s take a look at 13 and 14, then.

Season 13: Ah, yes, the season of shit gets domestic. The pining? Gone? What? Deancas now reading like an established couple? It’s more likely than you think.

13.1-13.5: Dean’s grief mini-arc. Dude’s acting like a widower. We all know this. I want to gesture towards the reunion moment though with “it’s never too late to start all over again.” To. Start. All. Over. Again. I’m just saying.

13.6 Tombstone: hi this episode is pure love and Dean is so happy his sweetheart is back from the dead? He’s even ok being Jack’s third dad now? What a time to be alive. Also? apparently Dean and Cas were just having movie night together? Dates? Mutual Pining dates prior to shit going to hell in 12? Do you ever cry? What else are they getting up to offscreen? What else will they get up to off screen? MUCH TO THINK ABOUT.

Season 14: MORE DOMESTICITY. With some pining because Michael. But...heart eyes when Dean comes back? Watch that scene again with Dean going off to shower. Suspicious. But then shit hits the fan and we’re all sad again. boo.

14.15 Peace of Mind: Look me in the eye and tell me Dean and Cas talking in the kitchen about Jack doesn’t read like husbands talking about their child. Look me in the eye and tell me Cas just texting Dean to gossip about Sam isn’t coupley asf.

14.18-14.20: Ah, yes, the divorce arc. Awful. Terrible. The culmination of Dean’s problem in all this: he lashes out, he pushes Cas away, his anger is alienating. Cue all of us suffering. But while Dean is clearly in the wrong in how the deals with his feelings, let’s not pretend some of his anger doesn’t come from a long established issue between him and Cas, which had its last traumatic turn when Cas died in s12. Dean isn’t being rational here; he saw Cas doing something on his own, and he saw that his mother is dead. What else could happen? Why won’t Cas just trust they can work as a team? Divorce arc was entirely too literal.

But what about what we’re building up in 15? That seems like it could be a getting together plot, too, right? Well, yeah. It could very well be. But I’d argue the tension we’re seeing isn’t a will they or won’t they because they already have. The tension is instead will they or won’t they use their words to talk about the baggage that has kept them from truly being confident about their relationship. There’s a crucial step in their togetherness that they’re still missing, which is also the bedrock of the divorce arc that spanned TWELVE FRIGGIN’ EPISODES. Y’all. Y’all that’s half a season. And we’re not even entirely done with it yet because Dean was cut short in purgatory, and they haven’t dealt with Cas’s side of blame in this mess yet either -- that Cas keeps going off on his own and getting hurt (and getting other people hurt), and Dean has to deal with the fallout. The deep emotional understanding, the truly being on the same page is what we’re on the edge of our seats for. And, you know, that’s a whole lot more exciting than witnessing their for realsies first kiss. I’m also confident Dabb & co will deliver the conclusion to this emotional arc and it will be a whole mess of feelings on all our parts.

For the moment, though, it’s looking a lot like Dean and Cas had a rocky start to their ~involvement, then DEATH, then they got together feat. sweet sweet domestic fluff, then DIVORCE. So, yeah. Season 12, guys; it’s where it’s at.

As for the more performative aspect of Dean and Cas’s relationship…that’s a whole other thing and all I can say is they got the green light for something, but I don’t know what it is and it’s driving me bananas, but it’s definitely something and we can talk about that, too. Place your bets, etc. I’m clowning on the “I love you” pay off because it’s a glaring missing piece in this whole story. See also: holding hands? Carving Cas’s initials on the table? Saileen endgame parallels? All supported by the narrative. Like a lot. So. *finger guns*

#destiel #deancas #supernatural #dean winchester #castiel #spn #spn meta #my writing #one day i'll title my posts after things that aren't questionable songs #but today is not that day #this post has strong ship manifesto from the late 00's vibes #i miss those things they were handy

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solcheeky · 5 years ago

Text

break a leg arm

summary: mark breaks his arm and a cast is all he needs as an excuse to get you to do everything for him

warnings: mature content insinuated, strong language

a/n: I literally went thru a heck load of his tweets to see what he was like through text lmfao also this is a remake! insp from sheep

[1 Missed Call] broccoli johnny 8:56PM

[New Message] from broccoli johnny 9:00PM, hey

[broccoli johnny] 9:00PM, I know its kind of late but

[broccoli johnny] 9:01PM, mark’s in the ER right now, you busy?

[you] 9:05PM, wtf

[you] 9:05PM, where

[you] 9:05PM, why

[broccoli johnny] 9:06PM, nothing serious dw

[broccoli johnny] 9:06PM, we’re in seoul national

[you] 9:07PM, okay im coming

[broccoli johnny] 9:07PM, mind coming over?

[broccoli johnny] 9:08PM, oh

[broccoli johnny] 9:08PM, lol cool cool

[broccoli johnny] 9:08PM, just text me when you get here :-)

[you] 9:34PM, I’m here where are you?

[broccoli johnny] 9:35PM, hold on

[broccoli johnny] 9:35PM, jae cant get his drink out of the vending machine

[broccoli johnny] 9:35PM, we’ll meet u in the lobby in a sec

[you] 9:36PM, jaehyun you are a grown man

[broccoli johnny] 9:36PM, jae said hes not going to share his drink with you now

[New Message] from lioncub 11:45PM, Sorry for making you worry haha and thank you for coming over so fast

[lioncub] 11:45PM, You home ssfe yet?

[lioncub] 11:45PM, *Safe

[lioncub] 11:46PM, Damn this whole cast on my arm thing is really getting in the way haha

[you] 11:46PM, always<3 and yea I am :) you?

[lioncub] 11:46PM, Yeah, everyone’s in bed. Johnjae’s about to leave

[you] 11:46PM, nice

[you] 11:47PM, tell jaehyun that I hope he falls over

[lioncub] 11:48PM, Woah hahahaha

[lioncub] 11:48PM, Is this because he didn’t share his drink with you?

[you] 11:48PM, it was the last one left >:( and the traitor drank it all >:((

[lioncub] 11:50PM, Haha

[you] 11:50PM, >:(

[lioncub] 11:51PM, You’re so cute

[you] 11:51PM, wow you type so slow

[lioncub] 11:51PM, I brokr my ar, !!!

[you] 11:51PM, yikes

[lioncub] 11:52PM, Dude dp you want me to type fast or not?

[you] 11:52PM, you’ll make mistakes either way👀

[lioncub] 11:52PM, *Do

[lioncub] 11:53PM, Hahaha very funny lool

[lioncub] 11:54PM, Come on babr

[lioncub] 11:54PM, *Basbr

[lioncub] 11:54PM, *Babve

[lioncub] 11:54PM, Damn. *babe

[you] 11:54PM, just. don’t text me anymore .

[lioncub] 11:55PM, Wait what !!!!!

[lioncub] 11:55PM, But my cast wont br off for weeks!!

[lioncub] 11:56PM, Babe !

[lioncub] 11:56PM, D: !!

[you] 11:56PM, I meant that like..... ‘call me’ you dummy

[lioncub] 11:57PM, Oh

[lioncub] 11:57PM, Oops

[Incoming Call] lioncub 11:58PM

[New Message] from marks arm 1:12PM, They left me at home :/

[marks arm] 1:12PM, All alone

[marks arm] 1:13PM, And I’m bored :/

[marks arm] 1:13PM, Bee

[marks arm] 1:13PM, Oh

[marks arm] 1:14PM, Are

[marks arm] 1:14PM, D

[marks arm] 1:14PM, b o r e d

[marks arm] 1:15PM, Babe

[marks arm] 1:15PM, Babe?

[marks arm] 1:15PM, Ba b e

[Missed Video Call] marks arm 1:17PM

[you] 1:21PM, oh shit sory just came out yhe shower

[marks arm] 1:22PM, Oh lool sorry

[marks arm] 1:22PM, You going out somewhere?

[marks arm] 1:23PM, OH are you coming over? :0

[you] 1:23PM, huh? no

[you] 1:23PM, lmfao gotta go to the supermarket

[marks arm] 1:24PM, Is that code for my dorm?

[you] 1:24PM, uh

[you] 1:24PM, what

[marks arm] 1:25PM, Super-MARK-et

[marks arm] 1:25PM, 😏😏😏

[you] 1:25PM, …………

[marks arm] 1:26PM, Dude. You can’t tell me that wanst funny

[you] 1:26PM, ……………………

[marks arm] 1:26PM, Comn on man. That was pretty funny!!!

[marks arm] 1:27PM, *Wasn’t *Come

[marks arm] 1:27PM, 😏😏😏 ???

[you] 1:27PM, I’m not coming over just because you made a ‘good’ joke

[marks arm] 1:28PM, Hahahahaha! babe please!!

[marks arm] 1:28PM, I’m so fucking bored~

[marks arm] 1:28PM, I have thid dumbass cast on now and the boys wont be back till waaayy later

[marks arm] 1:29PM, *This

[marks arm] 1:30PM, It’s not like I can take the cast off. But you can keep me company!!

[marks arm] 1:30PM, Pretty please🥺

[you] 1:30PM, but I gotta go shop D:

[marks arm] 1:31PM, Oh right. yeah lol

[marks arm] 1:31PM, but you can come over after?😏

[you] 1:31PM, hmmmmmm

[marks arm] 1:32PM, No one’s home😏 and

[marks arm]1:32PM, and Iwanttohugyou

[marks arm] 1:33PM, Plus I promise I won’t hug you with my casr haha

[marks arm] 1:33PM, *Cast

[you] 1:33PM, cute

[marks arm] 1:34PM, Did.. Did you not just hear what I said?

[marks arm] 1:34PM, No one’s home !!!

[you] 1:35PM, fine :[

[you] 1:35PM, but after I shop :>

[marks arm] 1:36PM, Alright nice haha. After you shop. Got it !

[New Message] from marks arm 1:45PM, Can you get me snacks??

[marks arm] 1:49PM, You can’t just leave me on read !!!!

[you] 8:03PM, can’t believe I bought you snacks for that

[marks arm] 8:04PM, It was the cast!! I swear !!

[marks arm] 8:04PM, You weren’t the only one uncomfortable >:( I can’t hold myself up over you when my arm is broken lool

[you] 8:05PM, I’m taking your lap next time🙄

[marks arm] 8:05PM, Oh woah

[you] 8:06PM, ‘woah’ what?

[marks arm] 8:06PM, :0

[marks arm] 8:06PM, Woah nothing. Hahahaha

[you] 8:06PM, okay well,,, save your lap for me next time

[marks arm] 8:07PM, lol okay

[marks arm] 8:07PM, Next time.

[marks arm] 8:07PM, I like that

[New Message] from marker 2:20AM, You awake?

[you] 2:21AM, no

[marker] 2:21AM, Oh okay nevermind then

[you] 2:22AM, …

[you] 2:22AM, uh mark

[marker] 2:23AM, Wait a minute

[you] 2:23AM, there we go😂😂

[marker] 2:23AM, ;/

[you] 2:23AM, LOL whats up? its 2am🤔dont you have to go studio in the morning🤔

[marker] 2:24AM, Yeah :/ but my arm hurts ;/

[you] 2:24AM, badly?

[marker] 2:25AM, Mhm :(

[marker] 2:25AM, I cant sleep :(( it hurts :/ like actually really hurts

[you] 2:25AM, lemme get back to you in 7 years after I get my doctors licence

[marker] 2:26AM, Hahahahahahaha

[marker] 2:26AM, Can you get back to me in 3secs as my bestfriend instead?

[you] 2:26AM, touché

[marker] 2:26AM, Haha

[marker] 2:27AM, Let me video call you?

[you] 2:27AM, doyoung is asleep though

[marker] 2:27AM, Yeaahh

[marker] 2:28AM, But I wantf to see you :(

[you] 2:28AM, you saw me today ?

[marker] 2:28AM, It wasnt enough :(

[you] 2:29AM, are you okay??

[marker] 2:29AM, Yeah! I am! I just

[marker] 2:29AM, idk

[marker] 2:29AM, Seeing you makesd me feel better

[you] 2:29AM, cute

[marker] 2:29AM, Shutup man

[marker] 2:30AM, Just let me call youuu

[you] 2:30AM, hm

[you] 2:31AM, fine

[you] 2:31AM, this is my way of making up for my lack of a doctors licence

[marker] 2:31AM, hahahahahahahaha

[marker] 2:31AM, I’m gonna wake up doyoung laughing like this

[you] 2:32AM, lmao pls dont blame me when he whoops your ass in the morning

[marker] 2:32AM, I wont :)

[Incoming Call] marks arm 2:33AM

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]

[doyoung]: Mark looks like a sardine that was left to dry out in the sun for 12 days

[marker]: Hey man

[marker]: Thats just mean

[fullsun]: not mean, just the truth💅🏼

[doyoung]: It’s because he was up all night talking to you know who👀

[mr peach]: exposed

[you]: mark you said doyoung was a heavy sleeper

[doyoung]: He lied.

[marker]: We werent that loud man

[nakamoto]: I could hear mark from my bedroom

[let’s winwin!]: *our bedroom

[let’s winwin!]: and no we couldn’t

[nakamoto]: I did👀

[broccolli johnny]: all yuta does is lie lmfao

[marker]: How??!!?

[marker]: Your bedroom is upstairs!!!

[junguwu]: ? I couldnt hear them ??? and I’m next door

[nakamoto]: if I was upstairs then explain to me how I heard y/n complaining about how mark farts too much🤔🤔🤔

[marker]: Oh my god

[broccoli johnny]: LMFAAAOO

[junguwu]: HAHAH HAHAHAHAH

[mr peach]: this again LOL

[you]: I still can’t believe they let you talk about marks farts in your tmi vids

[oldman]: 😂😂😂😂😂oh no

[fullsun]: the dried sardine has got some explaining to do👀

[marker]: Dude its not true!!! I swear !!!!!!

[you]: a little bit true

[doyoung]: ✋also a witness

[marker]: >:0

[marker]: Fucking betrayers!!!!!!!

[marker]: Johnny tell them its not true !!!

[broccoli johnny]: my hands are tied bro🤗

[marker]: whAT

[marker]: Jaehyun?!

[mr peach]: its not true.

[doyoung]: Way to sound believable🙄

[nakamoto]: word on the street y/n is tired of mark never saying sorry or excusing himself from farting🤧

[marker]: You guys are just big bullies man

[marker]: Sicheng man you’re the only one I have left😭

[let’s winwin!]: lol no

[fullsun]: yuta may be lying about hearing yall last night but👀

[fullsun]: the fart thing is true👀

[nakamoto]: i rest my case

[broccoli johnny]: one day mark is gonna fart and it’ll poison you all

[nakamoto]: I heard hes poisoned a couple of people already🧐

[marker]: DUDE

[New Message] from mark LEE 10:11AM, Hey can I ask you something?

[you] 10:12AM, sure whats up?

[you] 10:12AM, you okay?

[mark LEE] 10:13AM, So um ;//

[mark LEE] 10:13AM, My farts dont annoy you do they?

[you] 10:14AM, LOL mARK

[mark LEE] 10:14AM, What ?! what!!!!

[mark LEE] 10:14AM, I’m serious!!!

[you] 10:15AM, its been like 3 days since that conversation

[mark LEE] 10:15AM, And I havent been able to fart in front of you since!!

[you] 10:15AM, LMAAOOO MARKKKK

[mark LEE] 10:16AM, Babe I’m deadass!!!

[you] 10:16AM, yuta was just joking stupid

[mark LEE] 10:17AM, :/

[mark LEE] 10:17AM, I know

[mark LEE] 10:17AM, But

[you] 10:18AM, but?

[mark LEE] 10:18AM, I fart

[mark LEE] 10:18AM, like

[mark LEE] 10:18AM, a lot

[you] 10:19AM, omg mark

[you] 10:19AM, it doesnt matter!! I think its cute

[mark LEE] 10:19AM, What?!

[you] 10:19AM, when you fart youre cute

[you] 10:20AM, when you sneeze youre cute

[you] 10:20AM, when you talk youre cute

[you] 10:20AM, even when you just breathe youre fucking cute

[you] 10:20AM, I dont care about your farts

[mark LEE] 10:21AM, You’re weird

[you] 10:21AM, ask the groupchat if you dont believe me

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]

[marker]: Anyways guys

[junguwu]: ya

[marker]: Am I cute?

[fullsun]: no

[New Message] from cute idiot 9:37PM, Where are you?

[cute idiot] 9:37PM, Babe

[cute idiot] 9:37PM, The bath is gonna get cold man

[you] 9:40PM, we got a problem

[cute idiot] 9:40PM, What? No lighter? Not even matchsticks?

[you] 9:40PM, johnjae are here

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, !???!?!?!?!!!

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, whAT

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, Like in the dorm here?!?!??

[you] 9:41PM, yea you dummy

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, Shit whAT

[you] 9:42PM, wtf happened to ‘no one is coming home till late today’ !???!!

[cute idiot] 9:42PM, I

[cute idiot] 9:42PM, I DIDNT KNOW I SWEAR OMG

[cute idiot] 9:42PM, wHAT DID U SAY TO THEM

[you] 9:43PM, I look like a psycho mark

[cute idiot] 9:43PM, tHATS WHAT YOU SAID?

[you] 9:43PM, nO

[you] 9:44PM, they caught me… in the kitchen…. going through the drawers

[you] 9:44PM, with just your tshirt on…

[you] 9:44PM, my hair is wet af mark

[cute idiot] 9:45PM, oh god

[you] 9:45PM, how was i supposed to explain myself ?!

[you] 9:45PM, tell them my hair is wet because I just climbed out of the bath i was sharing with their roommate ?!!?

[you] 9:45PM, tell them i needed something to light the candles beside the fucking bubble bath ?!??

[cute idiot] 9:45PM, Shit shit shit

[you] 9:46PM, and all because you couldnt get out of the tub without injuring your broken-arm ??!

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, Oh my gof

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, Please tell me that is not what you said

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, Oh my god

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, This is so embarrassing

[cute idiot] 9:47PM, Dude

[cute idiot] 9:47PM, Why arnet you answering?!?!

[cute idiot] 9:47PM, What the fuc do I do

[you] 9:48PM, hold on theyre talking to me

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, I’m freakinghout

[you] 9:48PM, apparently theyre back early because they need to go prerecord nct nightnight

[you] 9:48PM, johnny needed to pick something up on the way

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, Oh god

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, Whdt do I do?!

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, Do I getr out!?

[you] 9:49PM, told them you were showering

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, Shit

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, Okay I’m turning on the shower

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, You know

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, For soubnd effects

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, Shit man shitr

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, wait

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, wb you?!

[cute idiot] 9:50PM, You didn’t dry yourself. Dude you didn’t even bring a towel

[cute idiot] 9:50PM, Hwo you gonna explain

[you] 9:51PM, told them your dumbass slipped

[you] 9:51PM, and I had to help you because of your arm

[you] 9:51PM, wait brb

[cute idiot] 9:51PM, Nooo dont brb me

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, I feel exposed now

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, Oh my god

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, This is the worst

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, This is the WORST

[cute idiot] 9:53PM, Babe?

[you] 9:57PM, okay theyre gone😪😪

[cute idiot] 9:57PM, Thank god

[cute idiot] 9:57PM, Did they believe you?

[you] 9:58PM, I fucking hope so

[you] 9:58PM, I’m coming back

[cute idiot] 9:58PM, Be quick ;/ I kinda made a mess

[[foreign swaggers💯💯💯]]

[sexy boi ten]: just out of curiosity🧐

[sexy boi ten]: who here loves bubble baths?

[johns banana]: hmmmmmm idk man🤔 good question🤔

[jeffrey]: 😂😂😂

[kark]: Oh my god

[sexy boi ten]: I think one of us is a bubble bath enthusiast

[sexy boi ten]: but I just cant put my finger on it🧐

[kark]: Can’t believe you told ten

[johns banana]: told him what🤔🤔

[kark]: Don’t lie to me bro

[sexy boi ten]: i think youre the only one lying here

[kark]: 😨😨😨

[kark]: Jaehyun please help me

[jeffrey]: I heard there were candles

[kark]: 😧

[johns banana]: candles ?! 🤔 oh gasp🤧

[sexy boi ten]: so this is what you get up to when no ones around

[kark]: hahahaha noooo

[kark]: youre making it sound super weird man !!

[jeffrey]: lmfaaooo

[sexy boi ten]: this whole broken limb thing doesnt seem so bad now

[kark]: we didnt /do/ anything

[sexy boi ten]: why?😏 were you supposed have done something? 😏😏

[kark]: hahaha oh my god

[johns banana]: what are you tryna say mark🤗

[kark]: dude !!!!!!!

[kark]: youre all making this way weirder than it already is man

[jeffrey]: arent you the one making it weird?

[sexy boi ten]: johnny break my arm so i can get a bubble bath

[johns banana]: you dont have a girlfriend

[sexy boi ten]: i know

[sexy boi ten]: but i could have a boyfriend

[jeffrey]: you dont have a boyfriend either

[sexy boi ten]: then can you run me a bubble bath instead😘😘😘😘

[kark]: what

[johns banana]: depends… do I get to join

[kark]: wHAT

[johns banana]: I’ll be the mark to your y/n

[jeffrey]: this is going in my TMI

[New Message] from marks arm 4:15PM, They keep teasing me about the bath thing

[you] 4:15PM, so no more baths together?

[marks arm] 4:16PM, I didn’t say that........

[New Message] from bunny doyoung 6:47PM, Change of plans

[bunny doyoung] 6:47PM, He’s already on the way to yours

[you] 6:48PM, what?!

[you] 6:48PM, I was about to leave

[bunny doyoung] 6:49PM, Sorry I couldnt stop him

[bunny doyoung] 6:49PM, Said there’s too many of us in the dorm at the moment lmao

[bunny doyoung] 6:50PM, He’s such a kid

[you] 6:50PM, ffs mark

[you] 6:51PM, thanks do

[bunny doyoung] 6:51PM, Of course

[you] 6:53PM, mark wth

[you] 6:53PM, doyoung said youre coming here

[marks eggs] 6:55PM, Sorry baby

[marks eggs] 6:55PM, It’s way too hectic back there

[you] 6:56PM, you know I dont mind

[marks eggs] 6:56PM, I do this time

[marks eggs] 6:57PM, I want alone time with you

[you] 6:57PM, but I made food for the boys

[marks eggs] 6:57PM, I’ll eat it all :)

[you] 6:58PM, marrrrrkk

[marks eggs] 6:58PM, Too late I’m outside

[marks eggs] 6:58PM, Open up

[New Message] ty track 1:00AM, He’s not coming back tonight is he?

[you] 1:01AM, defo not

[you] 1:01AM, hes asleep on my lap atm

[ty track] 1:02AM, Sigh

[ty track] 1:02AM, Fine, make sure he wakes up early

[ty track] 1:03AM, He has to be back by 7am, we have a shoot in the morning

[you] 1:03AM, okay sure thing

[ty track] 1:03AM, Get some rest too

[you] 1:04AM, thanks tae you too💚

[ty track] 1:04AM, Goodnight💚

[you] 1:05AM, night :)

[[dreamies but not rlly]]

[pudu]: what time did you say you were going to come over again?

[you]: before 10 why?

[pudu]: because marks trying to break up renjun and jaemin from wrestling

[pudu]: with one arm

[jenojam]: is that what all that yelling is?

[you]: hyuck

[you]: why are you texting me when you can help him out

[pudu]: y/n thats a dumb question and you know it

[dolphinle]: such a dumb question

[you]: why arent any of you doing anything????????

[pudu]: why dont you just come over sooner ^^

[you]: hyuck I cant I’m running errands atm

[dolphinle]: see y/n is running errands hyung

[you]: thanks chenle

[pudu]: shutup chenle

[you]: wheres jisung

[jisung park]: staying out of the mess

[you]: good.

[you]: one less dreamie to worry about

[jisung park]: youre welcome

[pudu]: okay they stopped play fighting :/

[jenojam]: because mark says his arm hurts

[you]: you guys are the worst

[pudu]: *best

[moomin]: you guys are snitches

[dolphinle]: and snitches get stitches

[jaemin<3]: renjun broke my neck

[moomin]: did not

[moomin]: your stupid neck happened to fall into my hands

[pudu]: LMAOO

[jaemin<3]: :0 can u believe this

[you]: is mark okay?

[jenojam]: no

[mark sucks]: Yes

[mark sucks]: hahahaha just carry on with your errands and come at 10 I have this unser contrl

[mark sucks]: *Under

[mark sucks]: *Control

[pudu]: HAHA what lies

[jisung park]: hyung doesnt have anything under control

[jaemin<3]: youre not going to ask if I’m okay? :(

[moomin]: jaemin ur still breathing right?

[moomin]: yea thats what I thought

[dolphinle]: ye thats what he thought

[jaemin<3]: I didnt even say anything yet!!

[pudu]: LMFAAOO

[you]: jeno help

[jenojam]: je-no thank you

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]

[tytrack]: well then who was it?

[nakamoto]: I think johnny was the last one to use the vacuum

[marker]: Babe can you pick up a box on the way ;/ we ranm out lastr night

[nakamoto]: .................

[fullsun]: well okay. this was fun. g2g. forever. ✌️✌️✌️

[doyoung]: Only mark would do this.

[nakamoto]: 🤡🤡🤡🤡

[doyoung]: Seriously only mark.

[marker]: Shit!!!

[marker]: Fucvbk man

[you]: wrong chat you fat loser

[canada mark] 7:00PM, Shit baby I’m so soryr

[you] 7:00PM, you’re the biggest dummy😂😂😂

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]

[junguwu]: a box of what?

[tytrack]: what the fuck mark

[junguwu]: oh

[marker]: Dude I didn’t mean to!!!

[broccoli johnny]: this is why he left the dorm so quick lmfao

[marker]: Baby I’m so so so sorry I’ll make it up for you tonight

[junguwu]: :0

[you] 7:05PM, wRONG CHAT AGAIN STUPID

[canada mark] 7:05PM, FCUK

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]

[nakamoto]: jc mark🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

[fullsun]: can we push the gc name into full gear now?

[fullsun]: it’s no longer a joke.

[marker]: IM IN SO MANY GROUPCHATS ITS HARD OKAY

[you] 7:07PM, you’re lucky you have a broken arm or else

[canada mark] 7:08PM, Dude I’m so sorry. Like really.

[canada mark] 7:08PM, I was rushing in case you left the store already ;/ sorry :(

[canada mark] 7:08PM, I’ll do whatever you want ! promise.

[you] 7:09PM, you can barely do anything with that broken arm stupid

[you] 7:09PM, its okay😂

[canada mark] 7:09PM, Really?

[you] 7:10PM, lets just say you owe me one

‘you changed [canada mark] to [stupid mark]’

[stupid mark] 7:11PM, Yeah okay. I deserve that one.

[New Message] from stupid mark 7:24AM, Can I call you?

[stupid mark] 7:24AM, I seriously hate texting ;/

[you] 7:25AM, is it because of the wrong groupchat thing or your cast?

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, ......both lol

[you] 7:25AM, okay but I’m in bed bby its so early

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, Perfect!! then you don’t have to move !

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, Just close your eyes and talk to me :^)

[you] 7:26AM, you can talk to everyone else whos awake :^)

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, Everyones getting their hair done and stuff

[stupid mark] 7:26AM, And I’m handicapped let me call you.

[you] 7:26AM, wooooow ‘handicapped’ you can’t text me

[Incoming Video Call] stupid mark 7:26PM

[stupid mark] 7:2APM, Pick up!! please!!

[New Message] from sore loser 11:20PM, :((((

[you] 11:21PM, mark?

[you] 11:21PM, whats wrong?

[sore loser] 11:22PM, Do you want to come with me to the doctors get my cast off tomorrow?

[you] 11:22PM, huh????

[you] 11:22PM, I mean yeah sure but

[you] 11:22PM, whats with the sad face?

[sore loser] 11:23PM, No! I’m happy! but sad ;/

[sore loser] 11:23PM, I get to be on stage again but ;( I can’t play damsel in distress anymore haha

[sore loser] 11:23PM, If I call you over, you’ll still come right?

[you] 11:24PM, depends.........

[sore loser] 11:24PM, See!!

[you] 11:24PM, I’m just kidding lmao

[sore loser] 11:24PM, Oh

[sore loser] 11:24PM, So... You’ll still shampoo my hair sometimes? ;/ or like sit on my lap,,and stuff ;/// ??

[you] 11:25PM, you know I’ll do all those things regardless whether your arm is broken or not

[sore loser] 11:25PM, You’re the best

[you] 11:25PM, plus you still owe me one :^)

[sore loser] 11:25PM, Oh yeah! I do !!

‘you changed [sore loser] to [<3]’

[<3] 11:26PM, Hahaha cute

[<3] 11:26PM, Okay :))))

[<3] 11:26PM, I’ll give you what I owe you tomorrow after we go doctors ;) <3

[you] 11:27PM, perfect

[<3] 11:27PM, Yeah, perfect :))

[New Message] from <3 9:34AM, Yeah, oops. Not so perfect..... omg I’m sorry

[you] 9:34AM, yeah your arm is like jelly its weird

[<3] 9:34AM, Hahahahaha

[<3] 9:34AM, In three weeks then?

[New Message] from <3 9:36AM, You can’t just leave me on read !!!!!!!!!

[You are Video Calling <3 ...] 9:36AM

#mark lee #mark lee texts #mark lee scenarios #mark lee sns #mark lee fic #mark lee imagine #mark lee scenario #mark lee fluff #mark lee fanfic

447 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Flat Whites & JJ

Mia: Mum can take four of us, so three of you are still going to need to find your way there, Dad's away on a Golf weekend 🤷 Grace: I'll ask if any of the fam can take the rest of us 🤞💜 Mia: Aw, thanks so much, babe Mia: so you're cool not coming with us then? Grace: there's like 1000s of them so 🤷🙄 someone'll will totally be talked or bribed into doing it 💅 Grace: oh yeah sure, it's like not even a problem, babes Mia: 😂😂😂 for real, got to have some upsides, yeah? Mia: Great 💗 Mia: the rest of you, you can only bring what you can hold on your laps, Dad took the range so we're in the sports, the boot is like non-existent 💁🙄 Grace: ugh IKR?! 😂😂😂 Grace: at least we can take SO MUCH of the stuff whoever's behind the wheel, you're so welcome huns Mia: Love a helpful queen Mia: Asia, are you even coming with us or are you going to ditch us for your boyfriend, again 💅 Asia: Of course I'm coming!!! Asia: Literally just got my hair done 👌👌✂ Asia: [and a million pics that nobody asked for] Jimmy: 😍😍😍😍😍 Grace: WOW! SO CUTE Mia: Yeah, but are you coming with us or coming with us like Maya's party where you left SO early with him instead of having a good time with your besties Ella: 😏🍵 Hollie: wasn't so early she didn't have a good time with ME tho! 💃💘 views to prove it Asia: UM like isn't it LAW that what happens at parties stays there?! 🤫🤫 Asia: & he doesn't even wanna come with soooooooo Jimmy: 💔 Ella: Oh, so we're your 2nd choice? 🤔🤔 Mia: 💔 is right, so rude Asia: ???!! Asia: not even Mia: We all heard you, you can't deny it Mia: at least own it, babe, omg Asia: you asked if he was coming?? Mia: Literally no one is concerned about him but you 😂 Mia: shame he's not, I might need your seat, actually Mia: but that's cool, yeah? seeing as you've got so many options Asia: ?????????? Mia: 🤫🤫 Grace: Why might you need her seat though? Spill on who you're trying to bring, thank you Mia: I'm not trying to make this convo all about me Mia: so cringe Mia: we're meant to be planning, thank you Jimmy: Go on, we're obvs all DYING to know Mia: Have to wait and 👀 Mia: be a nice surprise for you all Janis: How will we ever bear the suspense? Jimmy: there's only one of you who's getting mouth to mouth if you stop breathing, soz Janis: Things are looking up, Asia 🤞 Jimmy: I'm SO not going if Asia's not going, FYI Janis: 💔 Mia: There'll be room in whatever you're showing up in Mia: assuming she doesn't ditch you too, it's her thing rn Jimmy: put her on my lap ✔ you don't mind, do you, babe? Ella: 🤢 Jimmy: green's right Jimmy: no need to be jealous, El Ella: Don't ever call me that Jimmy: Babe 💔 come on Jimmy: this TENSION between us Ella: Repulsive and delusional, cute 🙄 Ella: Why are you even in this chat, though 👏 it's not nice to make fun of Asia, or helpful rn Jimmy: Bit rude to chuck me out of a chat she started Jimmy: but alright we can plan without her Jimmy: Mia* Mia: You aren't funny, new boy Jimmy: is that @ Asia's boyfriend or? Jimmy: he's got a name Janis: You aren't funny, babe Janis: what's to plan anyway, we have tents, we have lifts, sorted Hollie: Is Asia coming? Mia: Grace, can you please explain to your sister how much more there is left to do Mia: and Asia why are you like making people ask after you??? hello, answer a question, would you, silence ain't cute Grace: Janis does lowkey have a point, babes, it is chill Grace: she doesn't need or want to be involved in our outfit planning, obvs 😂😂 Asia: I LITERALLY SAID I'M COMING Ella: 🔉 Ella: Why are you shouting though Asia: why are you the volume police, Ells?? OH MY GOD Mia: Obviously Mia: but there's actually important stuff still to do, thanks, like who's getting the drink, for one Mia: Asia needs to calm down and find herself a seat, and a whole new tent if she's going to bring everyone down with her attitude??? Mia: don't take your relationship drama out on us tbh Jimmy: The unfunny dickhead with the unflattering fake ID, duh 👋 Jimmy: Love me again now, don't you? Mia: Don't get excited Mia: I want 2 bottles of vodka Jimmy: You gonna put me on a timeout, an' all? Cute Mia: El? Ella: Same Janis: You know it's a weekend Janis: you two don't need 4 bottles between you Janis: and you aren't even meant to have glass anyway Mia: You suddenly care about the rules? Mia: We'll pay you now, chill out 😂😂 Jimmy: I was waiting for the #flex Jimmy: can rest easy and count my 💰 now Mia: 🙄 you wanna pay for us Mia: literally none of us will be impressed Jimmy: and live off bread and water for the foreseeable? You're alright Jimmy: So poor, me, you just put the reminder out yourself Mia: 💔 Mia: like we're all SOOOO rich Jimmy: 🙄 Mia: like, bang on about it more, so not boring Mia: is anyone else going to order or are you just going to keep him waiting forever? Mia: what's wrong with you lots, like are you being shy Hollie: you bringing up Maya's party has me 🤔🤔🤔 maybe we should chill out with the 🍾🍾 idk Mia: You make those little videos sober, don't think you need to worry about being any more cringe, babe Mia: why are we going if to not have fun, come on now Hollie: WOW, ILY too babe Mia: it is what we 💗 about you Mia: so funny Hollie: 👌👌👌 Mia: OMG, this MOOD Mia: you're all stressing me out, actually over this Grace: Vodka is like totally fine for all of us, okay? Just get enough to have fun with, like Mia said Grace: without getting CRAZY like Hollie warned Grace: then we can all just move on Jimmy: 👍 Mia: Yeah, this is so much fun Mia: 🙄 Mia: I'm over this convo Jimmy: 💔 Mia: El, be ready in 15, okay? Grace: Is that everything? Mia: 🤷 Mia: Like I'm doing all the work for what? Mia: You wanna be boring, you'll have to work it out yourselves Grace: I'm literally asking so you don't have to do it all yourself, honey Mia: I said, I'm over it Mia: We're going shopping, you can all do what you want Grace: Ugh Grace: everyone stop Ella: The problem is you're doing nothing though? 💁 Grace: Excuse you? Ella: What? 😂 Grace: That's like the opposite of helping Grace: I'm trying to sort everything out Ella: 👌👌👌 Grace: Do you wanna talk to Asia rn? cos I don't think you appreciate how upset she is Grace: That's what I'm doing Ella: Such a saint 🙏 Ella: she's got nothing to be upset about, just like the rest of you, this is such a joke Grace: mhmmm Grace: we all know you wanna call the whole thing off, Ella Grace: but maybe the rest of us wanna go, so like ?? Don't be so rude Ella: That's why me and Mia are the only ones who have made any suggestions in this chat??? Ella: Okay Grace: 4 bottles of vodka isn't a suggestion, it's a shopping list Ella: We all know you can't handle your drink Ella: so why don't you ask for some cocktails in a can and get realistic about it Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Mia: El, leave it Mia: this chat is so hormonal Grace: Call off your clone please, so over her Ella: Ha, now who's excused Ella: what was that about green? Grace: yeah cos I was so in favour before Grace: okay Grace: I literally don't care, count me out if this is how it's going to be the whole time Ella: The tantrums 😂 Ella: your sister finally invites you to something and this is how you act Grace: my sister isn't the one being a total bitch, you are Grace: eat something, you'll feel better Ella: Seen enough changing room meltdowns to know that's not worked for you, hun 😚 Mia: This is so toxic and we all know why Asia: I don't Mia: 🙄🙄🙄 Mia: God 😂 Mia: she speaks Hollie: stop shading her Mia: And another one Hollie: her and her bf will be done before the tents are set up, like hello? Hollie: it's not worth dragging her over Asia: 😱😱😱 Asia: Hollie! Mia: Wow Mia: it says so much about you that you only pipe up when things get bitchy Mia: both of you, where was this enthusiasm earlier? Damn, say how you really feel, Hols Hollie: I have to do my own dirty work 🤷 Hollie: if Ells had a twin too, I could sit back and get comfy too Mia: No one's asked you to be such a bitch Mia: this is why people don't fuck with you, so uncomfortable 😬 Hollie: yeah cos only you two are allowed, isn't it? Hollie: is it a boy you've invited? Mia: 😂 show me where Hollie: maybe where Ells is about to pull Gracie's weave out? Hollie: or when you uninvited Asia cos you're so salty that she has a bf Mia: Grace is trying to threaten she's not coming and Asia is clearly doing the same since no one uninvited her Mia: like, try to hide your drama behind us some more Mia: we're shopping for outfits, MY mum is driving us, I've paid for my drinks? Mia: sort your lives, honestly Hollie: my drama is you, you're being cringey bitches and I'm so done 👌 Asia: So I can come with you? Ella: Mime to a sad song, you'll feel better Ella: duh, Asia Hollie: I'll feel better when that boy you have a crush on, who I won't name to the entire chat cos I'm not that bitch, slides into my DMs again Hollie: thanks so much though, Ells Ella: It's tragic you think that means anything Ella: as if you've ever made it to the tent being put up Hollie: It's sooooooo funny that you think that's going to get to me Hollie: I don't want a 💍 and you know it Ella: that's lucky Ella: don't think they do engagement rings in man-sized Jimmy: Well I'm fucked then Jimmy: soz babe, the proposal's cancelled Mia: Are you two legit still here? Mia: That's even more pathetic than you three, you're in luck Jimmy: waiting on my shopping invite, no manners, you Mia: You've got your list Jimmy: But how can I join the cult if you don't tell me the dress code Jimmy: Kool-Aid's on order, like Mia: 🦗🦗 Mia: less reaction than your fake proposal bombshell, I am SO sorry, sweetie Jimmy: I proper felt that, you should go to drama school Ella: and Brits are meant to be decent at sarcasm Ella: try harder, new boy Jimmy: What's sarcasm? Please tell us, attack dog #1 Ella: Get Grace to, seeing as she's such a martyr Ella: Asia's stopped blubbing now Grace: Get over yourself and my name out of your mouth, hun Grace: your changing room meltdown atm isn't my problem Ella: OMG, a real-life 👼 Ella: deigning to talk to us commoners for a sec Ella: you wanna talk about names in your mouth, be sure to tell Asia what you said about her after she left Maya's, k 😘 Grace: Jesus loves everyone babes, even you Mia: 💁 so true Mia: make sure your hands are clean before you start pointing the finger, Gracie Grace: Oh please, I was drunk after I left that party cos OBVS I can NEVER handle my drink, DUH Grace: Do we wanna take a moment to talk about what you both said about my sister and her boyfriend after they invited us to this festival or no? Mia: Try on another excuse, see if that one fits Ella: 😏 Ella: doubt it Grace: we for sure don't wanna take any moments to discuss body image, unless of course you really would like to leave the chat and focus on your ootds Ella: 🐢🌵💚 Asia: ??? Asia: what does that even mean?? Ella: She knows Ella: Asia are you at home? Asia: not my home Asia: why? Ella: to pick you up Ella: you still need to get stuff too, right? Asia: OH Asia: I'll get him to drop me off rn Ella: 🙌 we'll wait 💗 Asia: 👌💗 Mia: We'll do nails and tan after, Dad's paying Asia: I can't tan too dark tho it'll clash with 💇 Mia: 'course, babe, that'd be so cringe Mia: you'll look amazing 😘 Asia: 💗💗💗 Mia: k, toodles 👋 Asia: SO excited Ella: Us too 💃🍾 Hollie: 🙄🙄🙄 Ella: Your negative energy is really draining Ella: speak up if you've got a problem, Hols, maybe we can help Hollie: I just can't remember stepping into a time machine and popping out again when we were like 12 tbh Ella: Your backne is acting up again? Ella: Worst timing, the sun will do it wonders though, don't worry Hollie: 😂 Ella: See, that's more like it Ella: positivity, ladies Hollie: Mia, are you really doing this? Mia: Doing what, babe? Hollie: you know Hollie: 🥶🥶🥶🥶 Mia: I really don't, though Mia: sorry 😕 Mia: DM me if you don't want to say it in front of them, yeah Hollie: okay Hollie: be really cool if you could swat Ells off your shoulder first though Hollie: just saying Mia: Why are you being like, jealous Mia: so weird Mia: we're all friends, 'cos we're not 12 😂 Hollie: check your inbox Hollie: you won't be BFFs with her when you read that Ella: Beg an invite harder Hollie: you'll be begging to keep yours, babes Hollie: gonna have to do your own tan, uh oh Ella: You'd know all about that Ella: 🍊🍪😷 Asia: OMG yay! I understood that time Ella: 😂 it'd be hard to miss, right babe Ella: bless Asia: 😂😂

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tempestshakes01 · 5 years ago

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happy and anxious.

happy because i love my apartment and i love Lil Cup of Joe. he is a terror and the sweetest boy ever, and i feel so much love for him. this is why i can’t be around an animal for an extended period of time. i will die for any creature i get attached to and lil joe is now my baby.

but i am anxious because i put of working when my brother brought home a puppy. he didn’t ask me to, but he’s an idiot who’s never home and bought a puppy to make him come home. i gave him 3 days and when his habits didn’t change, joe was being left alone and untrained, and i needed a running buddy--well, i took over. joe’s now potty-trained and knows a few (one) command. i take him everywhere to socialize him. he’s mine. but i’ll never say that to nick. who still needs to go therapy. i don’t know him. i don’t know what goes on in that head of his. it’s like we switched personalities in our 20s. i went from the quiet, serious type to basically a manic 13 yr old boy. he went from a wildly charismatic clown to a brooding hipster. what makes him laugh? what is he thinking? what is he passionate about? how does he talk to other ppl for hours but he can barely speak to his family for more than half of one? what did we do?

i got really angry the other night thinking about the fights i’ve had with my parents this past year.

1) washington d.c. - mom and i got into to it in front of the fuckin white house at dusk. i was so emotional and upset at being there, right there where trump fucks over our country, and my mom was being...well, the woman fox news molded. i was furious and trying to keep it nice, so i asked if we could just stop. stop talking. i was gonna blow up. and my mom was like, “why do we stop when you say stop, but when i ask to stop, you continue?” which...is it true? i didn’t think so, and because i can’t keep my mouth shut, i argued until i walked away. i walked into the crowds and then i kept walking. i kept walking. i kept walking.

it was terrible. i texted her “i’m gone” and i left.

i forgot the details but i wandered that area of d.c. got a coffee. tried not to cry. and then...remembered how much trouble my mom’s phone was giving her, that her gps apps weren’t being accurate, that she wasn’t confident at the metro, and that it was now dark. that she was alone in an unfamiliar city with a camera bag strapped to her screaming “i’m a tourist!”

i felt like utter and complete shit. it was one of the most despicable things i’ve ever done. later, i told some people and they were like “she’s a grown woman! you were both upset!” but no. i can’t make excuses like that. i knew that my mom was scared. i burst into tears. a crazy sobbing girl in the middle of d.c. i immediately texted her and told her to get back to me when she got to the hotel.

an hour later, back at the hotel, my mom couldn’t even look at me. couldn’t speak to me. i knew i had to apologize and i did, wording it carefully because i walking on a minefield. i again blocked out most of the conversation, but it quickly dissolved into a mess of confessions. i was wrecked. at first because of what happened, but as our conversation turned into an argument, i became furious again. over how she interpreted some of our interactions. over how i “blamed” her for my anxiety and anger. i told her i got my anger from her. that i was slow to it like my father, but when something lit inside me it burned bright and hot and deadly like her. that her grudges and cold shoulders hurt me so, so badly when i was a kid (which she then explained wasn’t a grudge, just her processing her anger...but that was way, way into the night). oh god, it was so bad. so bad. she confessed how she felt about all us kids. told me about her problems with andi and nick. told me she wanted to move away from us. told me she didn’t want a relationship with me or them if it was going to be like this.

i didn’t sleep. just cried and cried. like i did when i was a kid. sobbed in the bathroom and then under my covers. we barely talked the next day, but it slowly became okay. i didn’t know how to explain how much i loved her, so i tried to show her.

in the end, we were ok enough.

2) driving 30 hrs across the country - my dad and i were talking and he told me how he didn’t get us, and that we were hurting mom by rejecting her or something. he was upset and my dad doesn’t get upset, so i got upset and moody. and he was like “why are you like this? just with me? just with us. you’re so cruel.” and i knew it was true but it still took me an hour to snap out of it. and i apologized.

but i feel sometimes angry bc i got the emo dump from both my parents. about both my siblings! and they don’t even talk to them about it! my parents don’t even touch nick anymore! they leave him alone because it’s easier that way and he wouldn’t listen even if they tried to talk to him! and my sister would get super huffy and feel judged and act out in some way and take the kids! so. i get it but i hate it!!! because i got the feelings dump! i got the tears and the hours of psychoanalyzing why we are the way we are! and i hate that i feel burdened by it sometimes?

i want to be there for my parents but sometimes i’m that petulant child that still wants a mommy and daddy, not two parents who are human and exist with their own emotional life. and that’s so unfair to them and wrong of me, but i feel that way because i’m the child that gets this brunt of this side of them.

but it’s because in my own way im the most difficult and this shit spills out when i push them.

my parents (mostly mom) are only getting more set in their ways and defensive of their opinions. my mom...my mom who taught me so much about art and the world and appreciating different cultures and music and lived life with such vigor and wonder...i can see that fading and hardening. she’s stubborn about what she like and doesn’t have much interest in anything new. she’s offended and hurt when i gently bring up her how she used to be.

my dad’s always been this way. very traditional, but kind. spoiled, but hardworking. likes what he likes. but he’s eating more greens. he’ll try what i make because i made it. we listened to latino usa and old radio lab podcasts that whole drive from wa to tx, and he loved it, and we discussed the episodes. and i loved him so much because he gave them a shot and we connected.

but my mom. my mom. i miss her and she’s right there, but she’s not. and i know i’m part of the reason she’s retreated into herself and her more ‘sturdy’ beliefs and the friends who share them. she’s so quick to judge and harsh about it these days. is it age? is it us? is it this horrible world?

i came home to this. i came home and how quickly people change bc i didn’t expect my mom to be so old. in spirit. she’s tired. she doesn’t trust me. we’re working on being gentle. i’m working on not being so quick to anger.

my dad and i...i’m thrilled we’re getting along so well after i treated him like shit during the ~separation years~ between my parents. i was awful to him and he knew why, but he never called me out on it.

my sis and i are fine. i’m so relieved she got out of that last relationship with that TERRIBLE PERSON and came to her senses, and somewhat grew up. we kick it. she cooks for me. we don’t completely jive cause she’s hood, but can code-switch between worlds, and i’m suburban through and through, so i’m not as cool or smooth as she is. i’m her dorky weird little sister and i appreciate her love for me.

my brother? a mystery. a complete mystery.

and i’m reminded of how he called me on my birthday and started weeping and asking about therapy and saying he’s sorry he never believed in my anxiety because it’s true--you don’t ask for, you don’t know why it appears, and it wrecks you. and he deals with it now for no discernible reason and he sounded so, so broken over the phone that i was shaking and crying when we hung up.

but now he’s as chill as ever and takes minimal care of his puppy because the 1st dog he got was pretty hands-off from the jump, but she was grown and pooed and peeded everywhere for months (he says no, but that’s selective memory), so now lil joe is mine and i need to get a job because the lack of structure is killlllllllllllllingggggg me. but i don’t want to leave lil joe :(

it’s funny how i never set out to write all this shit, but it comes spilling out.

huh. wait.

i left and i worked on myself but then i missed my family.

did i come back to work on the family? to work on my relationship with them? is that my purpose here and why i felt compelled to return?

went climbing with GA. i was totally afraid of falling and bouldering isn’t as fun to me as top rope, but i wanna keep at it.

trying to set something up with B and A. my buds. i love em.

gotta set something up with L because I have a feeling we’ll be good friends here. and weirdly, BG contacted me even though I haven’t talked to him since college? and even then we weren’t that close. he was just inching toward asking me out and never managed it.

fav emmy looks: zendaya (obviously. omg, whatta babe), maisie williams (whatta look, suits her perfectly, killed it), gwen christie (whatta jesus babe), that girl in the billowing mint green dress, anddddd clea duvall (a babe in a tux).

vm continue to make me sad and hopefully things go well with tour for them. it’s nice to see them getting along with charlie and tanith. with bby charlie and tati and max’s kid coming along...oh boy for scott’s emotions. he’s gonna ignore the HELL out of those sad feeling for what couldvebeen with tess and he’s gonna plan hard for his and j’s future offspring instead. (can i also predict that i think one thing scott’s gonna have trouble with in his marriage--oddly enough--is keeping the marriage a partnership and not bulldozing over his spouse with his wants and needs ...wait, that’s not odd lol)

anyway, gotta take joe out to pee. gotta get to bed soon because i wanna be on the trails by 7am and then maybe to the climbing gym. this face maybe a potato but my body can improve! (i’m thicc at the moment thanks to texas food 🤧)

#miranda this is your life

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sageslays · 6 years ago

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Hello Beauty Babes!

As you saw in the title, we are getting into LIP GLOSS!!! I’ve been noticing all over the beautysphere that people are switching up matte lips for glossy ones. I think it’s safe to say, gloss is back!

Now the thing about beauty trends is that they help introduce you to new beauty ideas, and gives you an idea of what certain people are into. However, the most important thing to remember is, not all trends work, and even they do for some, they don’t have to be for you. trends are just a suggestion.

Now for the past year or so, liquid lipsticks have entered the beautysphere and taken a strong hold.

People were intrigued by the staying power, longevity, and so much more. However, in my personal opinion, I think we’ve all gotten used to the liquid lipstick and want to go back to something we know, we love, and something that has made our lips not only moisturized and soft, but also makes them look bigger, juicier, and just over all GOALS

LIP GLOSS!

My lip gloss is poppin’, my lip gloss is cool because the gloss is back on trend!

Now you guys, on trend or not I am a big lover of lip gloss. It’s fool proof, and it looks good on anyone. that’s the thing with trends. they don’t tell you what you can or can’t use or wear, they give you suggestions.

But I’ve always loved gloss. Sometimes liquid lipsticks can be too drying on the lips! besides I love the look of gloss. it makes your lips look healthy and shiny, and just fabulous.

Some people don’t like gloss because it’s not long lasting in most cases, and can be messier than other lip products, however you can use it in so many different ways. Gloss has different finishes from sheer, to sparkly, to metallic, to creme, to fully opaque. and they all give you great, sexy looking lips (that magically have gotten bigger somehow)

Brands have recently come out with new lip gloss collections left and right. Tarte Cosmetics is coming out with their rainforest of the sea H20 Lip Glosses available at Sephora in 14 shades. Also, Lime Crime is releasing a collection of lip glosses “Wet Cherry Lip Glosses” Launching May 22nd. (photos courtesy of @trendmood1 & @tartecosmetics Instagram)

I think the makeup industry is saying what we already knew. Gloss is back, and better than ever!

Now after all this time, I’ve learned which glosses are my absolute favorites. The ones that are just amazing. Nonsticky, totally gorgeous,

And now, here are some lip gloss colors and formulas I really love

#1 NYX Intense Butter Gloss shades- Peanut Brittle, Cinnamon Roll, Apple Dumpling, Chocolate Crepe

not only are the NYX Intense Butter Glosses full of shine, pigmented, comfortable to wear and smell great, but they are less than $8 each!!! if you want a nude gloss, vampy gloss, or a bright colorful gloss, you can have it all. Peanut Brittle is my go to nude that doesn’t have pink tones in it so it looks great with warmer skin tones. These are super pigmented but can be worn on top of a lipstick if you want.

#2 Fenty Beauty Gloss Bomb

Photo Courtesy of Google.com

You probably aren’t surprised I mentioned this Fenty favorite. I gotta be honest I thought “I have nude glosses I don’t really need it” but gurrrrrl I was so wrong! I have gotten tons of compliments when I where this. It makes your lips look wet and glossy and it smells like a fruit salad. It’s a sheer warm nude with gold shimmer that isn’t too obvious, but when your lips catch the light, it makes ALL the difference. it’s not sticky, or slippery, it’s just awesome.

#3 DOSE Of Colors Lip Gloss in Honey I’m Home

Photo courtesy of google.com

I haven’t had this for as long as some of the other glosses i’m talking about, but this shade and formula, are what I’ve been looking for. I’m always looking for nude lip colors that aren’t pinky toned. There are so many pinky nudes (and I own a lot of them and love them) and with my warmer undertone, an orange or yellow based nude really looks great. So when I saw the shade Honey I’m Home at my local Ulta, I was in love! no pink, it’s just this gorgeous honey nude gloss. on me, I can wear it alone, with a liner, or on top of a deeper nude to highlight it. and the formula of the DOC glosses? OMG! They smell like cupcakes and dreams, and are so plush and non sticky. this isn’t as opaque as the NYX Intense Butter Glosses but have enough color to be worn alone, or on top of another lip color.

#4 Anastasia Beverly Hills Lip Gloss shades- Amber, Tara, Parfait

Courtesy of google.com

Before I go into these glosses, I just want to say that the NYX Intense Butter Glosses are a very close dupe in terms of formula to these ABH glosses. But these are still a big favorite despite that because the shades are so gorgeous, and the formula is opaque yet glossy. I can wear these alone and have the opacity I need with the poppin’ glossy look I want! One swipe covers my whole lip. Amber is such a gorgeous warm peachy nude. Tara looks like chocolate fudge (in the best possible way) and Parfait? is STUNNING especially in the spring/summer. it’s a metallic peach/gold that always looks good, and always gets complimented.

#5 Colourpop Ultra Glossy Lip shades- My Jam, Wolfie, Cabana Boy, Cheat Code

photo courtesy of colourpop.com

photo courtesy of google.com

If you saw my yearly favorites post, you know my love for Colourpop UGL. The shade My Jam is one of the most gorgeous metallic gold glosses ever. it looks hella metallic and shimmery, but not ridiculous, like you made out with a robot or something. it always looks good, even on top of other lip colors. and Cabana Boy is a rose gold version of My Jam so my love for it is just as strong. Wolfie, which is a rose color with slight gold shimmer, is so unique. on it’s own it looks fabulous and on top of another lip, it gives it that extra oomph to take your lips to the next level. Cheat Code is a gorgeous metallic copper that especially in Fall brings the fire.

#6 Sephora Collection Lip Gloss shades- Sand, Nude Alert, Fresh Peach

photo courtesy of google.com

These Sephora Collection glosses have enough stick to keep your gloss in place all day, and keep them looking perfect without feeling like your wearing syrup. at $10 each, these glosses (which come in a plethora of shades for any look you want) have been a favorite of mine for years. they’re your classic, lip gloss is poppin’ lip gloss. it even smells like beauty supply store lip gloss! The shade Sand is a sheer gold shimmer gloss that looks good at all times. When I wear this on a sunny day, it’s a wrap. and fresh peach, a sheer peach/gold shimmer is such a gorgeous lip gloss that looks amazing over any peach toned lipstick. Nude Alert, which is a warm nude with gold shimmer gives any nude a gorgeous glossy finish that takes it to the next level

#7 ELF Tinted Lip Oil shades- Raspberry Truffle Kiss, Nude Kiss

photo courtesy of bustle.com

I wasn’t going to include this because it technically isn’t a lip gloss, but it performs like one! These tinted lip oils from elf are a new favorite of mine, they’re pretty sheer, but they are super moisturizing and comforting on the lips and, these give you such a great glossy finish on the lips. This product is like a lip gloss, lip balm, and and lip oil all wrapped into one. And NO this isn’t ‘oily’. I was worried to wear lip oils because I didn’t want it to feel like I rubbed olive oil or grease on my lips. It feels like a lip balm and lip gloss all in one. I do usually prefer a thicker formula for lip gloss, however this does have a nice feel and if you like a lighter formula, this is great.

All right you guys, that’s it for this post! I’m definitely a huge lip gloss fan and am really excited that lip gloss is in right now. What are some of your favorite lip gloss formulas and colors? Let me know!

Keep up with me on Instagram @SageSlays_ or on Twitter @SageSlays

Stay Fierce & Stay Glossy!

XOXO, Sage Slays

Lip Gloss Is Poppin’ & Back on Trend!: My Top Lip Gloss Faves Hello Beauty Babes! As you saw in the title, we are getting into LIP GLOSS!!! I've been noticing all over the beautysphere that people are switching up matte lips for glossy ones.

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partlycharlie-archive · 7 years ago

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ep: things leo does; by jason grace

chapter 2. aftermath link to chapter 1

summary: 2. hey, mom? okay, there's this guy named leo, and i'm in love with him. wait - wait, you knew that already? well. fuck. wait! aha - i bet anything you didn't know he was in love with me, now did you? yeah, i thought - fuck. word count: 2,051 warnings: mention of cannibalism (not serious), mention of DDLB/NSAP, morse code a/n: valentines chapter because i’m a sucker for the babe :/ read on ao3

5. taps out messages in morse code when he thinks no one is paying attention

Two short taps. One short, one long, two short. One long, one short, two long. Rinse and repeat.

Three letters.

Jason’s sure nobody else has noticed - Leo tapping his fingers in what seems to be a random pattern is nothing new, and his eyes track Chiron’s movements with what seems to be laser focus.

He likes to think he knows Leo better, by now.

Jason thinks back on his old Morse training (“Why do I have to know this?” “Just in case.” “What the hell kind of situation requires us to tap Morse code to each other when we have fucking mouths?”) - laborious months of bullshit memorizing that he never used on quests, but damn if it isn’t coming in handy now.

Two short taps. I

One short, one long, two short. L

One long, one short, two long. Y

ILY.

Jason jerks up in his seat, avoiding Leo’s eyes when his fingers stop tapping and he glances over, obviously concerned.

Leo’s mouth quirks up into a tiny smirk - how the fuck does he manage to lift only a corner of his mouth, and still convey so much? It’s fucking adorable, and Jason hates it - and he focuses back onto Chiron, who is trotting across the front of the room with a vaguely frustrated expression on his face.

Leo’s fingers continue their tapping, slim fingers pressing coded messages into the tabletop.

Two short taps. I

One short, one long, two short. L

One long, one short, two long. Y

One short, three long. J

One short, one long. A

Three short. S

Three long. O

One long, one short -

“Alright, any questions?” Chiron asks suddenly, raising his voice to attract the attention of any heads whose heads are drooping (Jason tries not to feel guilty - fails - whatever.). “No? Alright, dismissed.”

Jason glances at Leo, who is standing up like nothing’s changed, slapping his hands on the table like nothing’s changed, brushing a hand down his jeans like nothing’s changed, turning to leave like nothing’s -

You get the point.

Okay, so Leo had spelled out ILY JASO- something. That something was either a K, a D, a Y, a C, an X, a B, or…

An N.

Was it too much of a stretch to think he might have been spelling out JASON? Zeus knows it wasn’t JASOD, anyway.

Fuck.

6. acts like a child when he gets tired*

* leo doesn’t get tired.

“… so the chip attaches to this port -” Leo yawns, and then shakes his head to clear it up, “ - and so it becomes able to track -” another yawn, “ - the movements -”

“Leo?” Jason asks, tilting his head slowly. Leo glances up, blinking blearily (ha, alliteration) up at him.

“Yeah?”

Jason smiles fondly, unable to hold back his reaction to an evidently tired Leo.

“You look tired. Ready for bed?”

Leo shakes his head again, more rapidly this time, and his curly hair flops around with his movements. He blinks a few more times, then opens his eyes as far as he can. “Nuh-uh,” he says, with an expression like a guilty child.

Yeah, right. Even Jason’s tired, and Leo likes to call him Superman - mostly because he looks like a blond version of him, but also because he’s basically superhuman. Jason doesn’t really get tired.

“Yuh-huh. C’mon, let’s head to my cabin. It’s too late, I don’t want to wake the Hephy kids up.”

Leo shakes his head with a petulant expression, narrowing his eyes and leaning back in his chair. With arms crossed, he mutters, “Nuh. Uh.”

Jason raises an eyebrow and nods to himself for a second, fighting back an amused smile at Leo’s behavior. “Alright, you’ve got a couple of options,” he relents, watching with the fond grin that he hadn’t been able to restrain as Leo slowly relaxes, nodding with lingering suspicion still present on his face. “You can either get up and walk with me, or I pick you up. Your choice.”

Leo sighs heavily, tipping his head back and huffing out another breath through his nose. “Fine.”

Jason stands, hovering for a few seconds. He frowns as suspiciously as he can manage when Leo doesn’t stand up like Jason thought he would, instead slouching further into his seat with hands outstretched, as if…

… he wants Jason to pick him up. Of course he does.

“You’re a fucking baby, y’know that?”

Leo shrugs, a carefree smile on his face. “Yup.”

Jason sighs indulgently. “Yeah, of course you do. Alright, we’re doing piggyback, because we both know - despite how incredibly underweight you are - there’s no way I’ll be able to hold you on my damn hip or whatever for the amount of time it’ll take us to get back to the cabin.”

Leo nods and Jason turns his back to the shorter teenager, crouching on the balls of his feet with his hands outstretched behind him. As carefully as he can manage (which isn’t saying a lot, considering how fucking delirious he seems to be), Leo tucks his legs into the slots of Jason’s hips and he stands up, chuckling softly when Leo yelps behind him.

He regains his balance, though, and wraps lanky arms around Jason to rest in the juncture between his neck and shoulder.

“Good to go?”

Leo says nothing, merely nods against the shoulder he’s already starting to fall asleep on - not that Jason expected anything less.

“¡Dios mio, las luces!” he cries almost immediately, shoving his face into the back of Jason’s shirt. [t - Oh my god, the lights!]

Jason can’t stifle the chuckle that escapes him - okay, so maybe he forgot to tell Leo it was basically morning, but. Who could blame him? He’d been… distracted. By Leo. And his hands. And his hair. And his smile. And his laugh. And his -

You see? It just happened again. Totally not his fault.

Definitely.

"Sorry, love," he says, trying and failing to sound truly apologetic. (Did he just say love in reference to Leo? He’s not going to think about that.) "Afraid I can't turn these lights off."

A groan spills its way out of Leo's mouth, sounding suspiciously like a "Why not?" but with a lot more vowels, probably.

"Well," he starts, the fond amusement (he’s fond way too often when it comes to Leo, damn it) probably ridiculously evident in his voice, "there's this thing in the sky - now, don't get too excited - called the sun. Totally crazy, right? It -"

Leo's left hand knocks harshly against his temple. "Asshole."

"- even makes this wild thing called - wait for it - light! It's pretty fuckin' awesome, if I may say so myself."

Leo sighs. "You may not," he grumbles, and Jason can feel the fluttering of the other boy's eyelashes against his neck. He fights back a shiver at the surprisingly intimate feeling and tries to concentrate on getting them to his cabin.

"Hey, dad?" he murmurs, words slurred through a heavy tongue. Jason opens his mouth to answer, but -

Wait.

What?

He freezes.

Mentally, of course, because otherwise Leo would know something was up, and he was so close to falling asleep, and Jason really didn't want him realizing what he said, because it'd turn into a whole production, and Leo would never get to sleep, and then... you get the idea.

But - anyway. Back to the matter at hand:

Dad?

Is that, like, a kink thing?

Jason remembers reading up on kinks (it was a late night and too many Wikipedia articles, sue him), and he's pretty sure daddy kinks are a thing.

(Eugh. He shudders at the thought. Yikes.)

But - that didn't sound like a sexy Dad word. What would a sexy Dad word sound like? It'd probably be Daddy and not Dad, for one.

Oh, gods.

He's getting off track.

Jason decides, as any sane (teenager) semi-mortal would do, to completely ignore the last word of Leo's sentence. "What's up, squirt?"

Okay, what the fuck?

He definitely meant to say Leo, or maybe bro, as regular teenage boys do, but squirt? Gods, Jason's out of his mind.

Maybe it's because Leo's way heavier than he looks. Who knows.

"'m tired."

Jason resists the urge to fist pump the air, instead pulling Leo onto his hip for ease of motion.

"Yeah, yeah, me too. Don't worry, we're almost there."

7. has horrible grammar when he texts (no, it doesn’t annoy jason)

[17:49] leo_valdez: wht do u want 2 do 4 dins 2nite

[17:55] jason_grace: Salmon with asparagus and rice?

[17:58] leo_valdez: damn chef grace out here [17:58] leo_valdez: yeah boi

[17:59] jason_grace: Okay, cool.

[18:38] jason_grace: Hey, Percy said he’d cook. Cool with you?

[18:43] leo_valdez: yeah np

[18:45] jason_grace: He might take a while, though, so I think we’ll be eating late tonight :/

[18:45] leo_valdez: ye its fine i ate late 2day

[22:24] jason_grace: How’s it smelling over there? I’m hungryy

[22:30] leo_valdez: lol i cant smell anything

[22:31] jason_grace: Omg lol. Do you think it’s your poor sense of smell smell or that nothing is cooking??? Haha

[22:31] leo_valdez: both lmfaooo

[22:32] jason_grace: Lol, okay.

[23:11] jason_grace: 11:11!

[23:14] leo_valdez: my wish is 2 eat

[23:15] jason_grace: Mood [23:19] jason_grace: I’ve died a million hungry deaths already. I may start to eat paper any minute. [23:19] jason_grace: It’s organic, right???

[23:20] leo_valdez: yeah totes gotta get on that #vegan #organic #freerange #localwoodonly trend [23:20] leo_valdez: ykno this shirt is made out f cotton????? thts a crop i cld totally eat this

[23:22] jason_grace: As long as you take tiny bites like a rabbit.

[23:22] leo_valdez: yeahhhhhhh [23:23] leo_valdez: i s2g im gonna eat percy if he doesnt tell me its fuckin ready soon

[23:23] jason_grace: Wait what’s s2g again? [23:23] jason_grace: Oh, nom.

[23:23] leo_valdez: swear to god

[23:23] jason_grace: Nvm*

[23:23] leo_valdez: NOM NOM I HUNGRY

[23:24] jason_grace: Lolzzzz.

[23:24] leo_valdez: thnks jace u rly gotta remind me ://////

[23:24] jason_grace: He’d probably be pretty tasty. [23:24] jason_grace: Remind you of what?

[23:24] leo_valdez: how hUNGRY I AM

[23:25] jason_grace: Nom nom nom I have no other words.

[23:25] leo_valdez: nom [mood in hungryspeak]

[23:26] jason_grace: Me nom.

[23:26] leo_valdez: i just saw th word omw and rly tht it said nom im losing my mind over here

[23:27] jason_grace: Our bellies could have been full hours ago. Savage.

[23:27] leo_valdez: ikr [23:27] leo_valdez: horrible

[23:29] jason_grace: Are tears edible???

[23:29] leo_valdez: hopefully im producing way 2 many of thm

[23:30] jason_grace: Sip slowly, I don’t want you getting full before we eat.

[23:30] leo_valdez: i gotchu [23:31] leo_valdez: trying 2 remind myself tht festus 2.0 is a living being and im not ready 2 b a murderer

[23:34] jason_grace: Oh honey. He wouldn’t be tasty. Too much fur.

[23:34] leo_valdez: u rite u rigt

[23:34] jason_grace: What were we thinking??? We know Percy well enough by now lmao. Sigh. Burp. Ugh.

[23:36] leo_valdez: im crying salmon

[23:37] jason_grace: Oh noooo why’d you have to say salmon?????

[23:38] leo_valdez: LMAOOOO

8. loves jason grace

Okay, okay.

You gotta keep this one a secret until Jason finds his journal again, okay? He doesn’t know I took it.

I’ve read through it a couple of times, and - damn is Jace a fucking sap. It’s a pity I love him.

No it’s not, who am I kidding.

Aha! That’s the first time I’ve written it down since I realized (which was… too long ago for me to feel comfortable admitting to).

If you didn’t get that, Jason: I love you, you piece of shit.

Ugh.

Fuck, whatever, maybe this thing is a prank and he doesn’t actually love me. Maybe this is a hallucination? Dad knows I’ve been spending way too much time in the Bunker, anyways. Maybe… who knows, honestly.

God, I’m tired.

Whatever. I hope he finds this soon, I’m tired of waiting, for Christ's sake.

See you soon, hopefully.

- leo valdez, the one & only

I love you too, Leo.

#partlycharlie #my fic #percy jackson #valgrace #@caitlyn #fun times #yeet

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boystownbirdie · 8 years ago

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LMWTV4U: The OA, Season 1

Welcome back to let me watch TV for you! Someday Game of Thrones and Drag Race will be back with weekly eps (praying to the gods of George R.R.R.R. Martin and Rupaul) and I’ll be back with weekly posts. For now, though, I’ll be watching other shows/seasons/series for you. Today I’m re-capping the entire season of the new Netflix series, The OA. I know what you’re thinking, WHAT’S THE OA?!?!? Well I can’t tell you yet, but over a series of long conversations in an abandoned house I’ll finally get around to it (that’s a little inside joke for those who watched it). So let’s go!

Also, SPOILERS AHEAD YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.

So what’s it about? Here’s as simple as I can make it: A young midwestern woman (Brit Marling, who also co-wrote and co-created the whole project) returns after she’s been missing for almost 8 years. Before she went missing she was blind but now she can see. She decides to tell her life story to a group of 4 teenagers and a teacher (Phyllis from The Office!) so that they can learn her secrets and use them to save the world. She ends up teaching them a pretty cool interpretative dance which they later perform to save their high school cafeteria from a school shooter whose only shot hits Brit which she is actually pretty happy about.

So lets’s break this down chronologically:

Late 80s/Early 90s, Russia: Young Brit Marling (age 6?) is a super rich Russian kid (!?!? yep that’s right) who can totally see. Her mom died in childbirth and her dad is devoted to her but also makes her jump in a freezing lake to teach her to be brave which seems kinda child-endangerment-y to me but who am I to judge? Baby B has bad dreams that make her nose bleed. In one, she is trapped in an aquarium and can’t breathe and sees crayons falling from the sky. She tells her dad and he’s like jump in this freezing lake and you’ll be cured. Spoiler alert, SHE IS! (kind of)

Then she and her dad eat some raw eggs (because RUSSIA, you guys) and it’s time for her and her rich friends to start school. Her school bus is attacked by the Russian mob to teach the rich people a lesson and it falls into a lake. Baby B and her friends end up trapped in the bus underwater and the whole stuck-in-an-aquarium-falling-crayons-premonition comes true. But since Baby B’s dad taught her how to not freak out when she’s trapped in freezing water, she’s like, ok fellow kids, don’t freak, there’s an opening we can swim through. But the other kids’ dads never made them jump in a freezing lake so they’re like naw dawg. Baby B starts swimming to safety but it’s a loooooong way up. And then grown up Brit (who is telling her story to the teens) is like “All the kids on the bus died that day. Including me.” THAT’S RIGHT Y’ALL SHE DIED.

But then she goes to heaven or like purgatory or something and meets this old gypsy lady who is like girl you died but do you want to be alive again? And Baby B is like yes duh. But the gypsy is like K, but you’re about to experience so much suffering and I can’t bear for you to see it so I’m gonna make you blind. And Baby B is like fair ‘nuf and her dad finds her washed ashore, still alive but blind. Which leads us to our next segment…

Early 90’s, somewhere in America: Blind Baby Brit (BBB) gets sent to school for the blind in America since her dad is worried the Russian mob will attack her again. Her dad calls her on the regs at her school and she plays violin for him. Then she finds out her dad has died (but she doesn’t believe it because he told her he was going to “disappear” to hide from the mob) and she has to go live with her aunt there in America. This aunt is apparently running a baby-selling-business and poor BBB has to care for all the little babes even though she’s a wee one herself and also super blind and sad about going from hero to zero. One day, a very plain couple from Michigan comes through and is about to adopt a little baby boi. But plain-mom finds BBB and is like we gotta take this kid instead, she needs us. And plan-dad is like cool she seems blind but also pretty great.

Early 90’s, Michigan: BBB comes home with plain mom and dad and you have to take your shoes off at their house so don’t even think about walking around in your outdoor shoes! Things are pretty great and they help her learn braille and let her climb and explore the world and they give her the unfortunate name of “Prairie” (which, sorry, nope). But then she starts having those vivid dreams with nosebleeds again and in the dreams she is talking in Russian and like playing with knives and shit so her plain parents are like CALL THE DOCTOR. She sees a shrink and he’s like your daughter is cray cray bananas so let’s give her a bunch of meds. And plain mom is like ummmmmm no? But plain dad is like we gotta do this so they pump her full of pills and she grows up to be… 21-year-old-Brit-Marling.

2000s, Michigan, NYC: 21 year old Brit (21B) has a dream where her dad tells her to meet her at the Statue of Liberty. So she runs away, LEAVES A NOTE (which her mom never bothers to tell the police about) and tries to find her dad. He doesn’t show up at the statue of liberty, so 21B ends up down in the subway stations, playing her violin for cash money. A doctor (played by Draco Malfoy’s dad, you guys!) finds her and is like wow you play violin really well, did you ever die and come back to life? And she’s like YES. So they eat oysters together and he tells her all about his studies where researches people who’ve had near death experiences. And she’s like COOL TAKE ME WITH YOU. So she hops into his private plane and flies to his house/ research lab which is conveniently in the middle of nowhere and that’s what lands us…

2000-2010s, Underground bunker in the middle of nowhere: She gets there and it’s immediately creepy and she’s like hmmm, I don’t hear any traffic and the windows seem super thick and he’s like oh that’s for totally normal reasons, NBD. And then he’s like let me lead you down these stairs that only I have the security code for and into this bunker and, cool, here’s a bed! And she’s like ummm, kinda creepy but ok. And then he locks her in a glass cage and she’s like WHAAAATTTT and then a few other people, also in glass cages, are like ummm calm down. So then she’s trapped down there for the next 7 years.

During that time, Draco’s dad keeps killing all of his captives and bringing them back to life so they can tell him more about near-death-experiences. Needless to say they don’t share a lot of their info with him since he’s an evil masochist BUT one good thing is that during one of her deaths, Brit gets her sight back! She also falls in love with a fellow captive, Homer, and while they can’t touch each other, they can make googly eyes at each other all day. During the sight-giving death trip, Brit learns a series of motions after the gypsy woman (yep, she’s back!) make her eat a little bird.

The other captives also learn some motions and together they start practicing this intense, interpretive dance. Unfortunately they need five motions for some reason and they only know four of them. Also at one point one of the fellow captives dies fur realz and Homer and Brit do their 2-part dance and BRING HIM BACK TO LIFE and totally cure him of errything. ALSO Brit finally gets her “OA” name from one of her deaths and it stands for the ORIGINAL ANGEL which is a little heavy-handed if you ask me. OA and her friends think if they can get all 5 motions they will open a portal to another dimension and they can GTFO but they don’t learn the fifth until….

Present day, underground bunker, still: Draco’s dad finally gets caught by his local state trooper who just walks in on him watching a vid of his captives down below one day. But Mr. State Trooper has a wife who is very sick with ALS and Draco’s dad convinces him to let OA and Homer cure his wife in order to hush. So Mrs. State Trooper is lying there and Draco’s dad makes OA and Homer come up from the bunker to do their magic dance for her. It works and when they cure Mrs. State Trooper she is like OMG so glad to see you guys, when I was a kid I had a near-death-experience and I learned the fifth movement and here it is! And OA and Homer and are like cool teach us! So she does and they are super happy and then Draco’s dad runs in there and kills Mr. and Mrs. State Trooper at the same time. Then he grabs OA and knocks her out and takes her to the middle of nowhere so that she and Homer and the others can never complete their motions together. And that’s when she shows up, in the same clothes she’s been wearing for 8 years and is no longer blind and gets sent back to her adoptive parents in Michigan even though she’d rather be underground practicing her dance with her friends.

Present day, Michigan: So OA and her five friends learn all of the motions of the dance and they also become stronger, better, more courageous humans in other aspects of their lives as well. Also, she’s been chatting with this FBI “victims support specialist” guy who is played by Riz Ahmed because he’s in everything these days! And he knows some of her plans but not all of them. Right before they can perfect their dance, OA’s parents freak out and take her away to a hotel for her own safety and her friends are like we gotta save her!

So one of the teens (French) breaks into her house while she’s gone to try to help her I guess and finds a box under her bed and freaks out because it’s filled with books like Homer’s “The Illiad” and “Near Death Experiences” and “How to Pretend You Were Captured for Eight Years” and shit like that. The weird thing with this is that while French broke into OA’s home and found these books, the FBI guy happened to be there, too, sneaking around in the dark. So while you’re supposed to think that MAYBE OA was lying this whole time, it’s also possible this shady FBI guy planted those books under her bed to discredit her because they sure as hell don’t look like she’s been reading them. Some of the kids find the book-discovery to be more upsetting than others but they’re all a little disappointed.

OA eventually gets to come back home and is taking writing classes or something and then takes a nap in the bath (which... dangerous) and wakes up and is like OMG I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO. Simultaneously, all of the high schoolers are back to their old friend groups in their huge cafeteria and Phylis from the Office is there because she got fired and need to clean out her classroom. The OA runs toward the high school all of the sudden and that’s when the school shooter busts into the cafeteria and the four teens plus Phyllis reluctantly look at each other and then they’re like, LETS DO THIS.

They get up and perfectly perform their dance and while nothing really magical happens, the shooter is distracted enough for a cafeteria worker to knock the gun out of his hands. And it hits the OA just as she shows up which, again, she is happy about because if she has another near-death-experience she may be reunited with her friends. The series ends with the OA “waking up” in a bright room and saying “Homer”

AND THAT’S ALL, FOLKS. SERIOUSLY that’s how it ends.

My final thoughts: the Good, the Bad and the Ugly:

Good: I love the line when Steve asks her “How did you survive so long down there” and she says “I survived because I wasn’t alone”

Bad: There’s an entire storyline where Draco’s dad takes Homer to Cuba with him to have Homer seduce a Spanish-guitar-playing-lady and he succeeds and OA has to listen to them have sex

Good: The actress who plays baby Brit is amazing, especially considering she has to speak fluent Russian, English and pretend to be blind

Ugly: Steve is such a monster when we first meet him and although he effectively transforms himself, it seems pretty far-fetched that he would change so much

Good: The casting of the kids who play French and Buck is on point, they’re both great young actors

Bad: The storyline with Draco’s dad’s mentor who also has human captives but in the morgue of a hospital is absolutely ridiculous and also how would OA know about it?

Good: Don’t hate but I really like the dance/ series of movements, I think they’re really beautiful and it’s awesome to see them performed by such a diverse group of people throughout the show’s run

Bad: I don’t want to be “that girl” but I work in the mental health field and the whole thing with this-kid-who-recently-experienced-trauma-is-acting-strangely-lets-medicate-immediately-with-no-additional-therapy is just not realistic in the slightest

Good: French works at Olive Garden

Bad: Apparently OA and her plain-mom-and-dad need a reservation to get into Olive Garden?

Good: Homer-OA love story. I’m into it.

Ugly: Most of OA’s outfits when she’s back in Michigan. The sparkly dress over tear-away-Adidas pants are particularly WTF

Bad: So she can speak to snakes and dogs?

Good: Buck performing in choir. Adorbs.

#the oa #the oa netflix #the original angel #brit marling #jason isaacs #lmwtv4u

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adambstingus · 6 years ago

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Are You The One Season Finale Recap: Just Put Me Out of My Goddamn Misery (PART TWO)

Since everyone bitches and whines about how long my recaps are, I separated them into two parts. Pick up a book, you lazy pieces of shit and read part 1 here >>

Chuck is like, were not going to win so next match ceremony Im picking Britni and everyone is like Chuck and Alec start yelling at each other and having a food fight, which pisses off Alec more because hes a firm believer that you should never waste food.

Alec: WE SHOULD NEVER QUIT Chuck: Eat a dick dude

Chuck goes up to push Alec, which is a huge mistake surfer brah, and Alec shoves Chuck to the ground like hes made of paper. Alec, congrats, your ovaries have officially transformed into a small chode of a penis. Gotta start somewhere.

Britni is like You would shove Chuck, who btw looks like a Ken doll version of the lead singer of AFI, for money?! Thats some shit ONLY poor people would say. Britni, people have done way worse shit for way less money. Read a book, tune into the news, watch Empire (or read my recaps).

Rashida and Devin are like And I agree. I did not sit through 10 weeks of this retarded shit to watch yall give up.

Devin is like If I can get this fresh batch of mentally incapable humans to win this stupid fucking reality show, it would be equivalent to the greatest feat in sports history. Which sport? Speed walking? Turn on ESPN Devin, I fucking dare you.

Zak and Hannah are mourning the fact that they arent a match, and tbh, I am too.

Cheyenne is talking to Devin about how he is disrespectful and is like

Devin: (actual quote) Im a shit head, but not a total shit head. – I honestly dont even need to try and be funny for these recaps, they all say enough stupid shit where I dont even have to try.

THE GAME

Chuck is like, I was hammered last night and said dumb shit and Im going to actually play this thing. Thank god Chuck, otherwise I seriously would have cunt punted you, and your little dog too! (Britni)

The game is the easiest one of the season: its an obstacle course with girls sitting on their back. There is a true/false section, where if the team guesses it right, then they get 30 seconds off their time.

Zak and Kayla are in first, which is crazy because Zak might be the smallest out of all of them. Alec is terrible with this shit and is back to being a giant bitch.

Melanie and Tyler go to the true or false thing, where Mel admits she offered Chuck a threesome, which is a new low.

Kayla and Zak win, being the Italian stallions. Rashida and Devin get second and Mel/Tyler get third because they answered the question right- aka, Mel is a closeted freak.

Stacey is talking to Nelson about how she has no idea who her match is and shes talking so fast I could have sworn it was a Gilmore Girls episode. You can def tell Stacey is fucking hammered in this, but its cool. I love Stacey. And apparently so does Nelson. Okay whatever.

Meanwhile, Alec is flirting with Amanda and Kiki is like WTF. Which is literally her reaction to everything- WTF.

THE DATE

Theyre hanging out on fucking boat that doesnt even have a bar. That sounds like some Life of Pi shit.

Devin and Rashida are flirting and shes like except this shitty white guy with a butt chin.

Zak and Kayla are like you remind me of my family so they must be a match- some fucking Freudian shit right there. Chelsey the aspiring psychologist is probably fucking creaming her pants somewhere in the distance.

Tyler and Melanie are like, were besties and Tyler thinks thats code for match but Mel was like,

THE TRUTH BOOTH

The group makes a smart decision for once ,(they probably all broke out in hives afterwards because we all know they are allergic to brainpower), and send Zak and Kayla to the truth booth. Hannah is like Hannah save the stupid lines for Hunter please, babe.

Zak and Kayla make their way to the truth booth, looking like a set of fraternal twins walking into their grandmas 90th birthday. Not gonna lie, Im stressed right now. Im on bottle number 2 of wine, and shit is REAL rn.

Results are in and- THEYRE A PERFECT MATCH! YAAAAAAASSSS.

Everyone is screaming and jumping while Hannah is like, . Its okay Hanz, its not like these matches are real. Those rules arent even real! They were real that day I wore a vest!

Alec and Kiki are flirting and they are drunk AF and Kiki is like Shes talking about how she got stupid fucking matching bracelets for her perfect match and Im like

Devin is doing his shit math again using red solo cups, I feel like an algebra class is being taught in a frat house. Aka this shit is dumb AF.

They determine there are two scenarios- one where Kiki mtches with Alec, and one where she doesnt. Guess which one best friends forever bracelet Kiki wants?

The decide to use deductive reasoning and rationality.

Jk, they decide to flip a fucking coin. I CANT RIGHT NOW WITH YOU PEOPLE. Hunter is like Here is a quarter and ew, I dont trust anyone who has change offhand like that. Get a fucking debit card, you hillbilly fuck.

Kiki is upset because they get scenario one, but you know if the coin flipped for the scenario she wanted shed be like PERFECT! ITS ALL SETTLED, THIS COIN IS HOLY.

Tyler is like, Fuck your heart Tyler, fuck it. Austin is like WOAH you need to figure this shit out. Like I dont mean to sound aggressive, but if you fuck us all over were probs gonna stab you.

Never did I ever think that the game would rest in Tylers hands. Take a drink to that.

THE FINAL MATCH UP CEREMONY

Devin is like, there is a high possibility we lose- not high, almost definite. But he thinks they chose scenario one for a reason, that reason being a coin flip.

Ryan gives some speech about love and how they need it and its like, save it Ryan. Empire comes on in 20 minutes and I need to get this show on the road.

Austin is first and he picks Britni– basing it off the fact that he wanted a girlfriend who would be a ghost for most of their relationship and they would get together eventually when it was convenient. You know what thats called? A fuckbuddy. You came on a reality show to find a fuckbuddy. May I suggest Tinder next time?

Hunter is next, and Ryan is like, do you all have a strategy? And hes like clearly fate isnt on our side, so we decided to do a coin flip. So, fates not on your side, and you decided to rely on it again? Seems legit.

Ryan is like, And Connor and Chelsey are like

Hunter picks Hannah, which is a weird match but whatever I dont care anymore. Im gonna be honest, this whole season I thought Hunter was secretly gay.

Devin is up next and he picks Rashida. Rashida, girl, I have been praying for you. Clearly I am a sinner because my prayers have not been well received. My b.

Tyler is up next and were all on edge. Hes like I think Melanie is my match truly and this is the biggest plotline he has had all season, so hes rollin with it. Tyler ends up picking Cheyenne, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

Alec picks Amanda, and Kiki is like WTF (again). What is she gonna do with her bracelet?!!!!

Nelson picks Stacey and RyDev is like, And shes like, Okay, thatll work. Cant wait for an invite to the wedding.

Chuck is up next and gives an inspiring speech. Well, it would be inspiring if he wasnt talking to a band of idiots who put their fate in a coin toss and if he didnt look like a homeless folk singer.

Chuck picks Melanie. Shes like, well this sucks because well never date because hes still fucking Brittni. Maybe you can get that threesome you wanted, skank.

Kiki is last, and ends up alone, well, because her match is Mike. #tbt to Mike. LOL. She shows those bracelets to Ryan and Ryan tries so hard not to fucking vomit on her. Kiki is like I am not confident at all Mike is my match and honestly, ditto.

The beams and RyDevs dramatic hand motions begin. They get 4 beams, which they have never gotten before, so #progress..They get a 5th, then a 6th, then a 7th. Everyone is on edge as fuck, and I am stunned into complete silence at home. Even my boyfriend, who has migrated out of the room is whispering no fucking way to himself. Idk if he is saying that because hes surprised Im silent for once, or surprised that they just might actually win.

They get 8 OMG, They literally need one more to win the fucking game. Im shaking.

THEY GOT TEN BEAMS! THEY WIN THE FUCKING GAME.

MIRACLES HAPPEN (queue song from The Princess Diaries)

MTV IS THE LAND OF DREAMS

IM CRYING

IM SCREAMING, I FEEL THINGS

Okay, Im back. Wow Im hammered. So its made clear- either MTV is a magical place where miracles prevail, or this shit is staged AF. I mean, we all saw The Hills.

Wow, thats it for this season and this truly unique group of escaped mental patents. Thanks for reading, even though, lets be honest- I made your shitty Thursdays infinitely better. And to the cast who read and tweeted me, thanks for having a thick skin. Low key surprised I havent received a death threat from Britni by now. Good luck existing in the real world, you all are sure gonna need it. And if youre ever in California, come buy me a beer, because god knows I deserve one for putting up with your shit.

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-season-finale-recap-just-put-me-out-of-my-goddamn-misery-part-two/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/178560286887

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