#'oh my c cousin is gay and hes cool' or whatever it was he said

[altruistic-meme]

i continue to be so pleased when people clock me like yes i AM a weird little lesbian thank you for noticing <3

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 105 Transcript: Defining Life in Apple Pastry Terms

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello, it's Grey.

C: Hello, it's Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show many, many times...

C: And I, someone who only knows about the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian.

G: Both Asian! For today's episode, we will be discussing Season 6 Episode 1, “Exile on Main Street,” written by our new showrunner, Sera Gamble, directed by Phil Sgriccia, air date September 24, 2010.

C: Sera Gamble is such a person who would say that Dean is gay for having a girlfriend.

G: Yeah? I think Sera Gamble thinks everything is gay.

C: Yeah. And it is. [laughs]

G: If you're in love with your girlfriend, dude, that's gay as fuck. [C laughs] Maybe it is. I don't know. This- okay, couple things. As we've said, Sera Gamble is now the showrunner of the thing. It's our first showrunner switch. Do you feel a difference or? I think, honestly-

C: I don't think one episode is enough for me to know.

G: Yeah, I do think so. I think maybe it is also the fact that Sera Gamble, first season under her, Sam is not there. Like, this is not Sam, and it is- I wonder what the public reception was or what the fan reception was. [C: We'll find out.] And it's like, "Oh, new season. New showrunner." Yeah, we will find out. But like, are people like, "Ugh! Why is she writing Sam this way?" which, I tried to imagine watching this episode without knowing the twist, and I think I would have disliked it or something. I don't know.

C: He seems like a perfectly nice young man.

G: Honestly, he seems normal. [C laughs] It's because the show was trying to make it seem to be a certain way. I did laugh out loud when he rejected that damn car. [C laughs] He literally was like, "You're obsessed with that car, not me."

C: [laughing] Yeah, it was so funny.

G: This episode sucks. [both laughing] I think it's fine. Is it?

C: I think it opened okay enough, and then Samuel Campbell came in, and I went, "This is fucking stupid!" [both laughs] And then I zoned out for the rest.

G: I will admit the Sambell Campbell- [laughs] "Sambell Cambell." The Samuel Campbell bullshit is kind of corny, tired, and played out, and it's been going on for one episode. [C: Yeah.] So I don't think I'm gonna like it. And I never did like it.

C: At least he dies, eventually.

G: It is fascinating, the thing I guess they're trying to do, "What does family mean?" Honestly, it's just so incredibly hilarious to me that, like, Supernatural family-

C: "Does family mean your brother, or also your cousins?" [G laughs]

G: Or also your grandfather that you've never met? Like, okay. [laughs]

C: Well, they did in the past.

G: Honestly, what I feel about this is that Supernatural is a show about family, except they keep trying to move that fucking goalpost, and instead of being about whatever family or about how family isn't everything, there's other people in your life, too, [laughs] it just keeps on expanding the family unit, which is pretty funny to me.

C: I wish that Lisa had a personality or something. That'd be cool.

G: It is fascinating that they try to give her a personality, and then they don't. What's that about? I think misogyny [C: I don't know.] is what that is about.

C: Yeah. I mean, she's there for Dean to be worried about for his growth, and that's about it this episode.

G: Yeah. And also another thing, I think maybe it's just like, because it's Season 6 now, it's just my brain doing it because of that distinctive line between Season 1 to 5 and then 6 onwards, right? But it feels a little bit like Dean has just- this is not- Ah, okay. Many times this episode, I was watching it, I had the thought, "This is Jensen Ackles." [C: Hm.] Which is like, I've never thought that about Dean, ever. There's always been like, exclusive to Jared Padalecki [C laughs] for me. Watching this episode, I was like, "Oh, we're watching the TV show Supernatural." I don't know it was. It was such an extraordinary distinctive feeling for me that I felt the need to point it out. Can't believe we're watching the TV show Supernatural.

C: Pretty fucked up.

G: Yeah. I'm excited for this season to get going, and that, you know, Cas and Crowley and all that.

C: Yeah, yeah, and I want soulless Sam to get a little weird with it.

G: Yeah, I do feel Supernatural is just never that good with beginning seasons. They're just never that good. Cool.

C: 2.01 was good.

G: Yeah, and 4.01 was good. [C: Yeah.] But, you know, 3 out of 5? [laughs] That's most. Well, now 6 out of- No, wait, it's 4 out of 6.

C: 4 out of 6 were bad? Yeah.

G: Well, I mean, 1.01 was okay.

C: It was fine. It's not good.

G: No, I think it's a pretty solid introduction to a concept of a TV show. [C: Yeah, sure.] Now, they're introducing concept of seasons, which I think can be just a little bit more intricate. Let's start the episode?

C: Yeah. Wait, no no no.

G: No! What did you know about this episode?

C: Very little.

G: Define "very little."

C: I only knew about the montage at the beginning.

G: Of course. The ever-iconic montage. And of course, when the Yellow Eye hallucination goes, "Your buddy Cas was brought back" or something, because that's part of the-

C: I don't know that part.

G: That's part of the Destiel supercut for some reason. [C: Oh.] Season 6, Deancasnatural, you know what I'm talking about, right? [C: Mm-hm.] That series of Dean and Cas scene collections for AMV makers, Season 6 starts with that scene, which I also thought was weird, and watching this episode now, I'm like, "That is weird. Why did they put that there?" [laughs] Is it just because they imagine Cas? Well, okay.

C: Yeah, I think so.

G: Well, it's important to mention Cas, but I don't know how it's relevant to Destiel, really. [C laughs]

C: Cas isn't relevant to Destiel. You heard it here first, folks.

G: No, but [C: I understand.] they don't put Cas scenes in there. They put Destiel scenes in there. Well, you know that Sam is gonna be back, but you don't know how they're gonna get reintroduced, I suppose? [C: Yeah.] Well, we start the episode. There's like, bunch of flashbacks of what happened last episode. And it says, "one year ago," and flashback, flashback, flashback.

C: Yeah, all in black and white in case you didn't know it was old.

G: Yeah. In case you didn't know that this happened a year ago. [C laughs]

C: They didn't have color television.

G: AKA the oldest thing that's ever happened, yeah. But like, slowly realized that it's Dean dreaming. Or is it? Are we supposed to think that? Because I wasn't paying that much attention, [laughing] watching this episode.

C: No, I think it's just the "Then" sequence.

G: No, because I thought,what happened is that it fades to Dean, who's already awake, so he's awake, thinking back to this or something.

C: It's possible.

G: Yeah, we go to Dean. He's lying in bed. He's comfy cozy, and it alarms. 7 AM. He turns around. Lisa's there.

C: Yeah, she's sleeping with her back to him to show her subconscious emotional distance from him.

G: Is it subconscious emotional distance, or a willingness to trust?

C: I'm not sure.

G: What is the symbolism in sleeping in beds? I don't like that. I severely dislike it. So maybe for me, the symbolism of being in bed with someone is [laughing] "I hate this so much, [C laughs] whichever direction I'm facing." [C: Real.] Lisa, her first words this episode, “Are you okay?” [both laugh] which really sets up her characterization for the rest of it. They tried to give her something a little bit more towards the end, but I don't know if they did. [C: Yeah.] I just don't know. Dean's like, "Yeah." They roll out of bed. They start the day. There's a montage. The montage is like, very domestic. Well, one, he's cooking breakfast for Ben and Lisa, and there is like- it's cute. They're like, all in the kitchen, all in the dining room, and there's like, some dynamic movements, whatever. [C laughs] The pan is fun, you know? Like, I did always like that motion [C: Yeah, I do like the pan.] of Lisa going under his arm as he's moving through the kitchen. He's a carpenter! Love it! Love a carpenter!

C: I thought he was a construction worker.

G: Well, he's specifically working with wood.

C: Does that automatically make you a carpenter?

G: There's parts of the construction work. If he was a fucking... mason? That's right. Mason, in English. [C: Ah, true, yeah.] If he was a mason, he would have been working with the damn cement or something. [C: It's true.] Or what's that? Cinderblock. Is that what you call it? [C: Yeah.] But yeah, he's a woodworker specifically. He's a carpenter. He's working with that fucking chisel. He's hammering it with a metal hammer, which I did find fun because I remember watching someone talk about the importance of a mallet when you use it with a chisel, and how like you can use- if it's a plastic-handed chisel, you can just use whatever with it, even a metal hammer, and in fact, you'll see that a lot in construction work. And I was like, "Oh, okay." And then like, seeing Dean use a metal hammer for chisel and construction work is pretty fun! [C: So true.] And, you know, he's cutting up some wood. [laughing] I'm really occupied with this carpenter shit. But I love that he's a carpenter. Love it!

C: Important part of the montage is that each scene is intercut with a flashback from hunting life [G: Oh, yeah! Completely forgot about that.], like when he's making the eggs, it goes to shaking salt on windows to keep demons out. For the carpentry, there's him killing vampires with like a saw or a stake or whatever the fuck- no, it's a saw. Stakes don't work on vampires.

G: Yeah, when he opened a car trunk to get something, and it's like, weapons to real life. And also, like, I did feel a little bit emo about that part when it was him teaching Sam about the car and it's intercut with him teaching Ben about the car. I was like, "Aww." Which makes it even more funny that later on, he was like, "Sam, you take the car." [both laugh] And he literally DGAF.

C: Yeah. And the song playing over it is "Beautiful Loser," so.

G: Yeah. The song is about like, your dreams falling apart.

C: Yeah, it's about how you can't have home and security as well as living like a sailor at sea, so it's about how Dean has to choose one between hunting and domestic life or whatever the fuck, I assume.

G: Yeah. And he'll choose to do "Goodbye Stranger," the song, not the episode. I guess he also chooses to do the episode. The final- you know, there's like, some guy throughout that montage that he grills stuff with. Incredibly funny. What is it with like, men and grilling? [C laughs] Or like, the American concept of masculinity and grilling? Is it like, the only acceptable form of cooking in terms of masculinity?

C: My dad does barbeque things.

G: You did mention this, yeah.

C: My dad also cooks normal style, though. [laughing] But my dad is not, I think, the pinnacle of American masculinity.

G: Well, I mean, you know, he should try harder. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. I'll tell him to watch more football. No, yeah. I think I think there is an idea of like, they would not cook in the kitchen, but they do barbecue because it's like, charcoal in the open flame, so it's tough or whatever.

G: My dad also does the grill. [C laughs] So maybe it's also Filipino masculinity. [C: So true.] And now we go to Dean and this dude named Sid, who sounds exactly like Sam Winchester. Well, sounds exactly like Jared Padalecki.

C: He does, yeah. Grey pointed this out. I didn't notice while I was watching it, and then I rewatched that scene with my eyes closed, and, like he actually does have Jared Padalecki's voice.

G: [laughs] Which is, of course, how I watch every episode of Supernatural. [C laughs] With my eyes closed! But yeah, he sounds so much like Jared Padalecki. I literally- I was startled watching it. Like, "Oh! Sam is already here? I thought it was later in the episode!" But no, it's not Sam. It's Sid. I forgot what he's complaining about. He's talking about, I think, his old life, right? But he's like-

C: I think he like, fucked a goat or something.

G: Is that it? Did he fuck-

C: I don't know what the joke is. He's just saying that "Luckily, no one took a picture of him and that goat and put it on Facebook." And it's like, what did you do with the goat?

G: But he's saying like, "Ugh, I can't believe like this is my life right now. I'm in the suburbs." And he's trying to get Dean to tell him about his past, but Dean is quiet and reserved about it. And we establish, it's like a year ago, and Dean says he's in pest control, and he's like, "Yeah, I help people-"

C: Which Cas also says in Season 10, right? That he's an exterminator?

G: Yeah! You don't let the bedbugs bite, is what he says. [both laugh] He winks in that scene! [giggles] [C: Yeah.] Cas is so wonderful! You can literally hear the difference of the lilt in my voice talking about him. [C: Yeah.] Well, yeah, Dean, saying he's from pest control, corny, tired, and played out. Cas saying he's from pest control, the most adorable thing in the world. And Dean, you know, is like, "Oh, it's like a little bit scary that this is all happening, but, you know, it's wonderful, too." And then they do the scene where the bartender hands Dean like, a receipt with her number on it, and the guy's like, "Oh, I think that girl's into you," and Dean's like, "You think?" and then he raises the receipt with the bartender's number on it. And what we're supposed to learn from this is like, "Yeah, Dean has settled down, but not because he's not desirable anymore. [C laughing] He's soo desirable. People are soo into him."

C: "Women wanna fuck him soo bad, but he just won't, because he's loyal."

G: "Yeah, because he's a good person! 'Cause that's what makes you a good person! Being loyal to your beautiful wife!" I guess. They're not married. Are they married?

C: They're not married.

G: They're not married. Well, maybe they should have gotten married here in the Philippines. That way, Dean could never have left her! [both laugh] It's still unbelievable that we don't have a divorce. I feel like the older and older I get, the more ridiculous I think it is. Why don't we have it? Like, every time somebody is like, “I'm getting married,” instead of being like, “Happy for you!” which is, I believe, what I would feel if there was divorce, [laughs] I'm like, "Are you sure? [C: "Are you fucking sure?"] This is irreversible!" [laughs] Well, yeah, anyway, he tears this fucking receipt apart and everything. But yeah, he heads home.

-

C: So as he's heading out, he hears a scream in the distance, so he goes to inspect some deserted building near some hotel renovation thing, and it's all drawn out and suspenseful, and there's claw marks and blood there, but he can't find anything else.

G: You know, there's multiple parts in the scene where he just literally hears a house noise. Like, a noise that a house would make. And he's like, "Ah! Ah!"

C: Yeah, he's swinging his gun around.

G: I think Supernatural is getting into my psyche [laughs] because like, a sound will happen in our house, I'll be terrified. [laughs] And every single time I'm like, "Oh, this happened in Supernatural." And then the second voice in my head is like, “Supernatural is a fictional TV show.” [both laugh] But yeah, house noises, bit scary.

C: Yeah. Back at Lisa's, which the transcript calls "Dean's house." I don't know about that.

G: Well, it's his home now. Ew! Sorry. It is his house.

C: It's Dean home. I don't think it's Dean's house.

G: Yeah. Is his name in the fucking lease agreement?

C: Exactly. I don't think so. [G: Or mortgage?] His credit score sucks. She would not have him co-sign the mortgage.

G: When she's signing that mortgage, she actively hides that there's like, some other guy that was gonna live with her. [laughs] [C: Yes.] She's like, "You're gonna fuck up my chances of getting this fucking done."

C: He's calling the police station and trying to see if anything has happened near that area that they've heard about, and he sees Lisa standing in the doorway, and then he starts pretending that he's calling his friend and then hangs up, even though she literally knows about hunting, so there's no point

G: Yeah, I do find it fascinating what they do with Lisa, just because you're right that like, she knows about the hunting life. So when Dean is doing all this, it's like, he doesn't need to hide it, but I suppose, like- I mean later, I think he does do a solid with asking Lisa and Ben to step out for a bit so he can reassure himself, and that's the way he worded it. Like I think it's a good thing. I think my main thought is like, I wonder how often this happens. Dean later alludes to their relationship or their life being a fucking mess a lot of the time, and like, is this what it's referring to? Like, Dean is quote-unquote "paranoid"?

C: Yeah, like, has this happened before? I mean, they act like it's a new thing because of the poison, but yeah, not sure.

G: Yeah. It could be that this time, it's real. And maybe other times, Dean was like, "Oh, I thought it was real, but it's not really," even though maybe it was, you know? Or something happened. Or maybe it wasn't.

C: Well, the claw marks weren't real.

G: What?

C: Well, the claw marks and things aren't real.

G: Are they really not? [C: No?] I completely did not understand the djinn subplot of this episode.

C: Sam was like, "They make you experience nightmares and stuff until you overdose"-

G: And I'm not stupid! [laughs] Sorry.

C: - and Dean flashed back to the claw marks, [G: Ah.] which implies that that was like, hallucinations.

G: Yeah. Well, if there are any visual cues this episode, I completely missed them. [laughs]

C: Yeah, because you were knitting. [laughs]

G: Yeah, I'm making one of my beautiful socks, everyone. First pair. Love it!

C: Yeah, so he lies and says that he's trying to set up a poker game with Sid and that he'll be right up. And Lisa just goes, "Okay!"

G: It is fascinating he has like, one friend. Because I feel like the vibe that we get from suburbs is like, bunch of people being friendly. I don't know. I don't know anything about the suburbs.

C: They are direct neighbors, so they would be closer.

G: This is true. They share a fence, I think, is the implication of the scene later. [C: Yeah.] Or no, no, they don't.

C: Well, he sees him through the the window, so I think he's right there.

G: Oh. That's him?

C: Him and his wife?

G: That's his family that was being killed later?

C: [laughing] Yeah! He went, "Sid?" when he was rolling the body over!

G: Well, you know, I was making the toe of my damn socks, so I was really into it. [C laughs] If I was making the body of the socks, I would have known his. It is fascinating that it's Yellow Eyes that they bring back in terms of that because, you know, it could be anything. It could be anyone but I suppose they're truly hammering home the fear of domesticity turning bad that Dean has because they do with Lisa up the fucking wall later. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. Ugh.

G: Supernatural. Is it a bad show? [C: Yeah.] Many people are discussing this.

-

C: The next day, Dean's driving around. He sees the exact same claw marks as he saw in the house. He sees the same claw marks on like, a fence, or a door or something, and he has his gun out, and he opens it, and it's like, a little dog that runs out. And then Sid sees him and is like, "Bro. Is that a gun?"

G: [laughing] And Dean's like, "No. Yes."

C: "Yes, I- I have a permit for it." And his excuse is that he thought that that the dog was a possum, and they have rabies and shit. But then Dean sees sulfur on the ground, gasp! I think it was at this point where Sid starts going like, "Huh? What?" that I realized that probably- Is the reason that Lisa moved between Season 3 and now because if he was in the Season 3 town, they would all know about hunting because they all saw the changeling shit happen, so there's less of that sense of normality that he has to keep up?

G: Yeah, I suppose. Because if it was there, it would probably be a better situation. He wouldn't have to- [C: Lie?] He can balance that shit, you know? It's not one or the other, which is, I think this episode kept on trying to be like, "You can only choose one!" I don't know, man. I think you can choose both.

C: Yeah, it's what "Beautiful Fool" is about or whatever it's called.

G: Yeah. Also, I do find fascinating, earlier, we forgot to mention in the montage, you know, Dean's checking out the house before he's going to sleep, and he's like, in his comfy cozy sweatpants and everything, which is pretty fun. And then it ends with a gun under his bed, like he's sleeping.

C: Oh my god, yeah. A fucking loose gun just under his bed.

G: And it's like, it's not like a pistol or whatever the gun that everybody has has. You know what I mean, right? It's a fucking saw-off shotgun, I'm pretty sure. [C laughs] Do you know anything about guns? Or is that correct?

C: I don't know anything about guns.

G: But like, it doesn't look like a- I suppose it's because it needs to have a salt round. He's not trying to kill an intruder who's just a guy, which I think is what most people justify having a gun in the house for. [C: Yeah.] And by most people, I do mean most Americans. [C laughs] Are there any other countries with the kind of gun laws that the US has? Do I always have to preface it that way?

C: I don't know.

G: What I mean by that is like, I'm not trying to dig at anyone. What I mean is just that I don't experience that. We don't have that experience here. I just see it on the news with American news and stuff.

C: Yeah. I don't know. I'm sure there's other countries that-

G: In the world, full stop, yeah.

C: - have a lot of gun-carrying people, yeah. But yeah. You saying that it's a salt round does make me feel better 'cause like, if Ben shot it, he probably wouldn't die.

G: He'd be hurt. I mean, we know-

C: But he would be hurt, yeah. I think he should not be having that just loose under the bed like that.

G: How old is Ben by now? He's gotta be like, 12 or something right?

C: We already have this conversation, I think. 11, right? Because it was his eighth birthday party in Season 3.

G: No, I mean, last year. It's been a year, so he's 12 now? Or was he ten in Season 3.

C: Well, if he was 8 in 3.01, it would make sense that he's 11 in 6.01, right?

G: No, but like, 3.01, and then a year, and then Season 4 and a year. Season 5. And then Season 5 goes for an entire year.

C: Well, Season 5 follows directly from the end of Season 4.

G: Yeah, but it goes on 5ever. [C: True.] So Season 3, that's a solid year. Then Season 4's a year, Season 5 is a year. That's 3 years. [laughs] Wow. And now it's been a year after that. So he's 12 now.

C: Alright. I believe it.

G: I do- I wish there was more of a- Something I would have liked to see is because I think towards the end of the season, they're gonna make an argument that Lisa is good for- well, they're making it now. They're trying to make it now, right? Lisa is good for Dean or something, and this is a life that's good for him. And the thing is, the way they are trying to frame it is suburban normalcy versus the hunting life. And I think if later on, they're going to make an argument that Dean is actually using something real and solid here, that argument is going to be based on the fact that Lisa knows about his past. He's not like, fully trying to hide all of this shit, you know? I think it would have been interesting to see some of the accommodations that the Braeden household has made for Dean in this regard. You know what I mean? [C: Yeah.] Because the way we see it now is like, Dean is doing things, and they're letting him do things, which is like, yeah, that is a form of an accommodation, but, you know, like something a bit more proactive, especially on Lisa's part, I think, would be interesting to see. Maybe we'd see it in later episodes. But if the point that they're trying to make, which I think it is, is that Lisa accepts him for what he is and who he is and his past, etc, it would be good and also fun for me personally to see how that would manifest, you know? It's just that they give Lisa no agency. We don't see her do anything. You know what I mean? It's always a reaction to things or Dean telling her things. [C: Right.] I don't know. I think last episode, I was like, I understood that Lisa is a product of the story, but whenever I conceptualize the things I find wrong with her character, I still conceptualize it as like, Lisa, you know? Like, Lisa the character. I think seeing this now, and seeing how much like, "Actually, it could have been interesting." Like, it could be interesting. This whole domestic thing they're trying to do with Dean is interesting. The more I am like, "No, yeah, it is the writers' fault," and I'm able to separate her from the writing decisions that they have made for her.

Now, we go to Lisa telling Dean about “Hey, the neighbor told me that you almost shot a fucking dog. So what's up with that?” And Dean keeps on being like, "I don't know, man. No, it's fine. I just thought- but it's not the case." And eventually, he says, “Why don't you and Ben go out for a bit while I try to- I'll do one last sweep so that I can placate myself," which is pretty good.

C: Yeah. Lisa is the one who does the straight-up asking. Like, “Okay. Are you hunting something?” And she does it very matter-of-fact [G: Yeah.], which I think [art of the whole accepting him for who he is whatever bullshit.

G: And then Lisa goes, and Dean immediately is trying to get shit done. He opens the Dad's journal. I do find the journal shit fascinating because like, did they ever revamp that thing? [C laughs] Is it still what it was when they first got it in Season 1?

C: The prop?

G: Is there anything new in that thing, or did it stop in 2005?

C: Are you talking about the prop, or are you saying "Did Sam and Dean add to it?"

G: Yeah. Did they add to it?

C: I feel like they did. I mean, on the bonus material, Dean added the angels [age, and everyone GAF about that so much. Right?

G: But it was already full! Where are they putting the additional pages?

C: Was it already full?

G: No, yeah, you're right. It was like, 30 pages in [laughs] when John left it to them. [C laughs] He was like, "Ugh. The bullet journaling life is not for me. I don't know why! Why are we doing this?" [C: Real.] And it's not for me either.

As he's looking all around, Azazel comes about, and it is like, a bit of a shock. And I do- the choice that they have made this episode of just being- It feels like you, the watcher, being destabilized every single reveal, which I think is fun. With this is Azazel, it feels so not real. [C: Right.] And it isn't real. And the way you feel while watching it is without any of the gravitas that it should, so you're able to feel more what Dean is feeling of just confusion and shock. And then, you know, Azazel's here. He's telling Dean stuff, and he's telling Dean- He's like the manifestation of Dean's insecurity about not being able to keep this. But then, as Azazel's gonna go kill that guy, somebody stabs Azazel. It's Sam.

C: Yay! Hi Sam! Hi Sam!

-

G: Dean like, passes out, and he wakes up with Sam there. And Sam took him in a fucking abandoned house. But Dean wakes up and he's like, "What? Are you real?" And this is what I mean. Because earlier- like now, this Sam is saying like, "Oh, Azazel's not real." And now Sam's here, and it's like, "Well, is he real?" And, I mean, we know it is. But you're able to understand better what Dean is experiencing in that moment. And then immediately after, he meets Samuel. So like, you know, it's just up and up and up and up above things. I think the the first way, too, that we feel that things are weird is that Sam is weird. Sam is so... How would you describe Sam? The way he talks and the way he acts in this scene?

C: Kind of blase.

G: Is that what it's called? I thought it was blaze. 'Cause I was thinking, "I should say he acts blaze, but I should wait for Crystal to say their piece first." [C laughs] Can't believe it. It feels like he doesn't understand the gravity of the situation, which is like, a common thing later. Later on, with the car, I thought what they would do is he just straight up refuse it. But he doesn't. He says, "Thank you. I appreciate it," meaning that he understands that it's a big deal, he just doesn't feel it. And I think that is maybe perhaps the vibe of this scene, too. Where like yeah, I suppose conceptually, Sam can understand that this is like, a really emotional big deal scene for Dean, but he can't access that particular feeling.

C: Dean does ask if this is Heaven when he sees Sam, [G: Aw, yeah.] which is, yeah, sort of nice. And like, he knows Sam Sam is in Hell, so he just thinks that this is some kind of weird memory loop thing, [G: Yeah.] and that's nice. But Sam's just like, “No, I'm real,” and he does the silver blade test and the salt water test.

G: And this is a fun sequence where he like, you know, "I'll do it for you!" And then he just glugs some holy water. It's fun. I never figured out why they glugged that thing. If you throw it at yourself, you'll be fine, I guess. But I guess then you'll be wet, [C laughs] and they're like, "I'd rather have diarrhea than have to dry my clothes."

C: For real. This is me when I eat bad vegetables because I don't want to put them in my trashcan because [G: You don't wanna deal with the trash.] then my trash will smell bad. [both laugh] Yeah. So yeah, Dean finally realizes that this is Sam for real, and he hugs him very tightly. And Sam just makes like an “okay!” [laughs] sort of face about it. Dean's very stammery, very emotional. And yes, Sam is blase. He just says that he has no idea how he's back, he's been trying to call Cas, and he hasn't answered. [G: Yeah.] And then he's talking, and he's talking, and he's like, “Man. It's so crazy. I looked and looked for what brought me back for like, weeks." And Dean was like, "Wait. [laughs] [G: "What? What?"] Wait, how long have you been back?" And Sam's like, "Oh, you know, like a year." And Dean starts getting real upset about that, and he starts yelling, like, “Why couldn't you have texted?” And Sam's explanation is, “Oh, I was doing you a favor because you finally had what you wanted, like a family. You were building a real life and all of that, so I didn't want to show up and ruin everything.”

G: Yeah. Later on, Bobby shares the exact same sentiment as his reasoning for not telling Dean. You know, that scene happened, I was like, "Wow, maybe Bobby does love Sam as a son." [C laughs] But I think what's happening in that scene is Sam was like, "Don't tell Dean because you love him as a son!" [both laugh] And Bobby's like, "You're right, and you're a coworker."

C: So true. Yeah, which starts the whole thing this episode about how suburbia and having a girlfriend and a kid is "real life" or something. I don't know. It's some weird Company-ass bullshit.

G: And it is fascinating what Sam says here. “I have a family of my own” or whatever the fuck.

C: Yeah. Well, he says that he's been hunting and that he's been working with other people, and Dean's like “What, like strangers?” [G: "You're working with strangers?"] And Sam goes, “They're more like family. And, they're here!” And he just leads Dean to another room, and there are some Campbells in there. There's Gwen, and because she's a woman, she has to be homophobic towards Dean to prove that she's tough enough to be a hunter.

G: Yeah, I did hate that the way it is done- I mean, the fact that it's done is annoying. But the way that it's done is her telling Dean like, “Oh, Dean, you're like, so pretty!” And come on! What the fuck is this? What is this? [C: Don't know.] It boggles me a little bit that they feel the need to- attractiveness? Like, "Oh, he settled down. But don't worry!" Don't worry of what? [both laughing] What shouldn't we not worry about? What's going on? [C laughing]

C: For real. So yeah, Gwen Campbell's there. There's like, some guys named Christian and Mark Campbell, who- I didn't even remember there were two separate guys here.

G: [laughing] I thought it was just one guy named Christian Mark if I'm being honest. [C laughing] [C: That's so real.] They're like, absolutely nothing characters.

C: And yeah, they are also absolutely nothing characters, which yeah, just feels surprising. Like, it seems like they'd want to know a little bit more about their cousins, but whatevs.

G: Yeah. But Sam is soulless and doesn't give a fuck is the implication.

C: Yeah. And they all grew up hunters. And then Samuel Campbell shows up, and he's like, "And I brought all these people together!"

G: For real. He like, immediately hugs Dean. [C: Yeah.] He's like, "My grandson." or whatever. [C: Yeah.] What a weirdass guy?

C: Yeah. I mean, is that weird?

G: What's weird? Calling your grandson your grandson? Yeah, I think so. [C laughs] No, I just mean like, they're trying to do something this episode with regards to "What is family? Who is family?" And like, it is just fascinating that, like, you know, Dean's argument is "Family is- You don't leave them because they're the ones you grew up with and the ones that raised you," blah blah blah. And then what's the logic behind this guy? He's just some guy.

C: Yeah, I don't know. They care about their mom a lot, and he's related to her? I mean, they've met before. Dean revealed that he was his grandson to him in I forgot which season.

G: Yeah, and then he died.

C: Yeah. And then he died. But yeah, I guess they have a connection. They knew each other before in some way.

G: And they felt the need too to mention that, like, this guy went to heaven.

C: Yeah. [laughing] Incredibly funny.

G: They couldn't just say "brought me back." It's like, "No, they lifted Sam up from Hell, and they pulled me down from Heaven."

C: Pulled me down from Heaven. So yeah, this is the part where the episode just gets really fucking stupid. Dean's like, “Huh? How were you resurrected?” And Samuel was just like, [G: Dunno.] "Sam got pulled up from Hell, and I got pulled down from Heaven by like, some force? So yeah. Yay!" And okay, what got Sam out was Cas. Did Cas just go up and yeet Dean's grandfather down for no reason? Like, do we find out what happened here?

G: I don't know, and I severely do not like or care about this guy, so I suspect that I will remember. I don't suspect that I will remember. I suspect that I won't remember. Wow! Conjugation! Is that what conjugation is, or is conjugation a different thing?

C: I don't know what conjugation is. It's something to do with verbs.

They're like, "We need a Sam who's like, related to Dean." And they were like, "We got two of them. What do you want us to do?" "Just get both of them. I don't know. Throw them on Earth." No one else has been resurrected ever except for them.

G: No, yeah, what is that about? Or I don't actually know. And like, there are inklings now of the special monster situation that they have going, and I'm pretty sure Samuel is gonna turn out to be evil [C: Okay.] or something, so I don't know. Maybe he was brought up by some demon.

C: Alright. Maybe he's not Samuel. He could just be a special monster.

G: Could just be some guy.

C: But yeah, so there's some backstory. Samuel wanted to get Dean to join them on their hunts, but Sam said naur, and they're here now because some djinn attacked Sam. Dean calls djinn "exotic." Great. Good job. [G laughs] Yeah, Sam says that these are special ones because they kill you by touching you, and they poison you, and then you have nightmares, and then you die. I feel they can just make up a new monster!

G: No. I mean yes, make up a new monster, and there is like a sense of- We've talked about it before, but like djinns are like, part of Arab culture, and the way that they portray it is quite disrespectful and all that crap.

C: And just inaccurate also.

G: Yeah, inaccurate, disrespectful. And, you know, the way they interface with it, too, like Dean calling it exotic, you know. But the thing is like, what they're trying to do this season is like, "Oh, yeah, like, the monsters are getting fiercer. They're getting meaner and worse or whatever." [C: Right.] I don't know. Have some cultural sensitivity is what I think.

C: Yeah. Wait, so like, what are new vampires like?

G: I don't know. I think they're fiercer. [G laughs] [C: How?] They're getting too fierce with the vampirism is what I think.

C: It just seems like it becoming "They kill you through touch." Like, that just seems too different from what it was before. [laughs] It doesn't seem like an actual adaptation.

G: It is. What will happen later on is that the monsters actually are like, instead of being more powerful, they're more mutating- Like, for example, you'll have a werepire, you know. [C: Hell yeah.] Or like, I don't know. "Oh, this one is like a ghoul, but also a vampire, but also," you know, they're forming supermonsters, I think, is what they call it at the end. So it could be that like, this one, the primary thing that they saw is a djinn, but they're actually combo monsters or so. But then, you know, begs the question, what is a monster, and what counts? Like, if a vampire took up witchcraft, is that like a super monster or what? [C laughs] Maybe he just has a hobby!

C: Samuel has a cure for the djinn poison, so that's helping them out. And they think that the djinn are after Dean because of how he killed one a while ago. And then Dean starts getting worried about Lisa and Ben and demands to be taken home right now. They go over.

Oh! There's some guy named Johnny Campbell who they sent to watch over Lisa and Ben, and he's dead. Like, the djinn got him. Do they not care?

G: Is that true? [C: Yeah.] I think they DGAF.

C: Like, why didn't anybody- He was sent over to watch Lisa and Dean and he got killed. Yeah, nobody- I didn't see any reaction from anybody about this!

G: No, yeah. I mean, are they all soulless?

C: I don't know. Are they? Or do they just not care about their cousins that much?

G: Yeah, they're allegedly family, but you know. They're coworkers.

C: Yeah, exactly.

G: Is Samuel soulless? Or what's the deal with him?

C: We'll find out.

G: Yeah, I suppose. I suppose we don't know. Or I don't know. I should. [laughs]

C: Mm-hm. Dean's freaking out, running around, but then Lisa and Ben come back in, and he's very relieved to see them, and he hugs them really tight, and Lisa goes, "Ow!" And he tells them that they gotta pack and go to a friend's house. So they start getting ready to do that, and then Sam is standing behind. [G: Shows up!] And Lisa sees him and is so shocked.

G: Well, Ben sees him first. And Ben's like, "Who the fuck is this giant man in our house?"

C: I mean, he has met Sam before in Season 3.

G: Is that true? I don't think that's true.

C: Wait, was Sam always somewhere else during that episode?

G: Oh yeah, he did like, save the kids.

C: I mean, it's possible that he never- [G: Interacted with him.] Yeah, well, Dean was at the birthday party by himself. He taught Ben to be mean to the bullies by himself, and Dean was the one who let the kids out of the cages.

G: Yeah. I don't think he knows Sam.

C: What did Sam do that entire episode? [laughs]

G: I think he just, you know, he hanged out with the MILFs or whatever.

C: So true. So they drive over to Bobby's, and Bobby is disappointed to see Dean because it means that his apple tart life is not going well.

G: No, this one, this one, is apple pie.

C: Okay, his apple pie life.

G: If you live in a college dorm, that's- The definition of an apple tart life is you have a beautiful girlfriend, but you live in a college dorm.

C: I see. [laughs] And an apple pie life is a beautiful girlfriend, you live in a house. What happens if you live in a house but you don't have a girlfriend?

G: I think maybe that's a- I don't know what. What's a food that you eat by yourself?

C: Any food? [both laugh]

G: That's an any food life, yeah. No specific food.

C: I see. [laughs]

G: 'Cause as you know, an apple pie, you can only eat with a family. With a beautiful girlfriend in a beautiful house.

C: I guess like an apple turnover is more of a one-person thing.

G: Yeah, this is true. Don't you make those?

C: I tried to make apple turnovers one time, but it was summer, and I'm also bad at freezing butter and not heating it up, and I don't have a marble countertop or whatever to keep it cold either, [G: Yeah.] so the dough was just like, not flaky, and I don't think it counted as an apple turnover.

G: Aw. So sowwy! You know what? An apple crumble. That's a-

C: An apple crumble can be pretty big, though.

G: It can also be small. [laughs]

C: An apple pie can be small, too.

G: Well, a small apple crumble [laughs] is what it is when you have a house but you don't have a girlfriend.

C: Okay, but if you have a girlfriend it's still an apple pie and not a large apple crumble?

G: I think if you have a girlfriend but you have a terrible house, it's an apple crumble life. [laughs]

C: [laughing] If you have a nice house and you don't have a girlfriend, what is it

G: No, that's a turnover. That's the turnover. [C: Okay.] The nice house is turnover. Terrible house? Crumble.

C: With or without a girlfriend?

G: An apple crumble life is if you have a terrible house, with or without a girlfriend.

C: Oh, the terrible house overrides it.

G: A small apple crumble is no girlfriend. [C: Okay.] Big apple crumble, girlfriend. Yeah.

C: Okay. Okay, thank you. I feel a lot smarter now. [G: Yeah.] Yeah, okay, Bobby doesn't like that. Dean is here because it means that his apple pie life is joever, and so he just sends Lisa and Ben upstairs, and Sam shows up behind Dean again, and Dean's sort of waiting for Bobby's reaction, and Bobby's just like, “Hey, man!” [laughs] And Dean starts getting very upset again about how Bobby knew that Sam was alive for the entire year.

G: Also, it's so funny to me that like- Does Ben say a single word this episode?

C: He says “Uh” when he sees Sam? [laughs]

G: Literally. Like, Lisa's barely a character, but Ben is not a character at all, it feels like.

C: Oh, not at all. He's just there to be like “Oh my god! And there's a child at stake, too!"

G: And like, the thing is like, you know, we've discussed in the past, like, maybe Dean doesn't even love Sam as a person, he just loves the concept of a little brother, and this kind of supports it. [C: Mm-hm.] A replacement for Sam is this kid. And that's like, kind of implied in the text because of the way the montage was set up, Ben was Sam's replacement in that thing. So I don't know. Now, it's like, we don't even know what Ben's personality is. He has no complexity as a character. So yeah, maybe Dean-

C: Ben's personality in Season 3 was being a misogynist? [laughs]

G: Yeah. But the way they do that even is like, "See, he's just like Dean for real. Because Dean is his father, and misogyny? Inherited trait!" [C laughs]

C: Yeah, yeah. We already had our whole discussion in 3.01 about "How is Ben like this if Lisa seems like a nice person?" But yeah. Bobby's reasoning for not telling Dean is the same as Sam's, is that he was so happy that Dean got out of the hunting life. And Bobby calls what he has "a woman and a kid." [laughs]

G: No, yeah, that's crazy.

C: [laughs] Which is kind of crazy to me. Like, sure, I guess. I don't know. But yeah, it really is just about random people who fill a prescribed role in your life and not about somebody.

G: Yeah, I mean, we had this discussion before, and I was like, “You know what? I'll be more forgiving with Sam and Dean for conceptualizing life this way because it's the way life is peddled to people.” But now, those roles are actually filled up. There is an actual wife, and there is an actual child, you know? And it just feels- If you're conceptualizing it from before. you're like, "What I want in life is a child and a wife." I'm like, I'm going to be able to comprehend that more, you know? Oh, yeah, 'cause you are visualizing something. But this one is like, there's no visualization anymore. Those people are real! [C: Right.] So I don't know. Don't like it.

C: Yeah, yeah. Seems like they really could be swapped out for anybody.

G: Yeah. And Cas will fucking try. Don't worry about it. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, Dean goes, "That woman and that kid, I went to them because you asked me to.” [G: Mm.] Incredibly funny sentence to me. I think less funny to gay Dean truthers. I can understand why. But yeah, and Dean says something that I do think makes sense, I'm glad that they are grappling with in some way, where he just goes like, "Okay, sure, maybe it was good for me in some way, but for them, I was out of my head with grief. I drank a lot, and I had a lot of nightmares, etc." He says that he doesn't know why they took him in and all that. He also says that he tried really hard to get Sam out, even though he prommied to not. Oh, we have the "Do I look out to you?" line also because-

G: No, incredibly funny.

C: Bobby told him he was out of the life, and Dean goes, "Do I look out to you?" Slay.

G: Slay! Happy gay Dean truthing. Later on, the way the narrative responds to this thing that Dean poses of like, "Yeah, for me. But what about them?" is that Lisa loved it! [both laughing] it seems like.

C: I mean, I'm not super upset about that.

G: No no no, I think it's fine, but I just think it's funny that the show felt the need to immediately respond to it. Like, "Nooo! Nooo, it's great! Lisa loved it!"

C: "The best year of her life!"

-

G: Now, we have a Dean and Lisa conversation. You know what? Not mind-boggling. I completely understand it. What they're doing is they're by the staircase, and Lisa is talking to Dean about how Ben is doing. And then Dean says, “Okay, me and Sam, we're gonna head out for a bit. You guys stay here for a bit.” And Lisa asks, "For how long?" and Dean goes, “I am so sorry, Lisa.” [C laughs] Incredibly funny response. Lisa asks, "For what?" Dean says, like, "Yeah, those things, they were always gonna come for me, and I should have known, and I'm putting you and Ben in danger." He says, "It's stupid and reckless. You can't outrun your past." Lisa says like, "Oh, you're saying goodbye." And Dean says he's saying sorry. And I mean, he is saying goodbye in this scene is what it feels like, but later, he changes his mind. And Lisa says that, “Actually, Dean, this was the best year of my life!” [C laughs] And they keep on bringing up this thing where, like, "You're so good to Ben," which I do find fascinating. Even Lisa isn't like, "You love me!" Is that right? You know what I mean? The way she words this, they could have been lavender married. [C: Yeah.] "It wasn't greeting card perfect, but we were in it together, and you know, like, you were so good with the kid," blah blah blah. I don't know. Maybe they were lavender married.

C: Yeah, I mean, she specifically says like what she wanted more than anything was a guy that Ben could look up to. [G: Yeah.] So it's like, she's been seeking relationships for her son to have a male role model, not really for any personal romantic fulfillment.

G: Yeah. And I don't know. Maybe this is a more accurate portrayal of relationships as you get older. I'm not sure. It is wild to me that even with Lisa and Lisa's perception, it doesn't feel like love, for her, is the main reason for this thing. It's sort of like a social responsibility to a child.

C: Yeah, like, "He should have two parents," etc, etc, or "I don't always have time to drive him to school. It's nice to have another person in the car here."

G: Yeah. And it's just- it's one of those things that- I don't know. They're trying to say something about domestic life. I don't really understand what they're trying to say yet. Like, they're portraying this as a good thing, right? Like this relationship? Or are they?

C: Yeah. I think so.

G: Okay. But I don't think they're portraying it as a good relationship in- I don't know. I don't know. Supernatural's weird about domesticity, which is on, you know, it's a show about being on the road, Jack Kerouac, so I get it.

C: It's just about the lack of romantic affection between them- Like, the reason this relationship is good is that he has two people that he is responsible for, but like, in a chill way. [laughs]

G: Yeah, maybe Dean really is aromantic.

C: Yeah. Lisa also.

G: I mean, good for them, honestly.

C: I mean, Ben's the result of she said she was just really into sleeping with biker dudes for a while. And like, she hasn't sought romance since.

G: Though, you know what? You're right. Yeah. This is gay Dean/aro Lisa situation. And I support.

C: Hell yeah! Good for them. This is a beautiful relationship, and he should keep it, then.

G: No no no, like, that's what I'm asking. Because to me, this dynamic of like, "There's no romance in the relationship. You're fulfilling a role, and it satisfies you-" because it feels like it satisfies Dean. He's happy to do this for Lisa and for Ben. Like, that is the kind of relationship I can comprehend and understand. So like, that's why I'm asking like, how is Supernatural portraying this specific aspect of the relationship? [C: Right.] I don't know. But I do like it, and if this was removed from the misogyny of Supernatural, I would probably be like, "Oh, yeah, look at this relationship that I really- Like, they can make it work!" blah blah blah, you know? [C: Yeah.] Dean actually is like, "No, it wasn't that good! I was such a mess!" But Lisa says, “Well, if the guy who essentially saved the world shows up at your doorstep, you'd expect him to have some problems.” Yeah, and she says the thing about Ben. She says, "I can't believe you think of it as all bad. And it's wonderful for me!" And I think this is the thing that convinces Dean later to make the decision he makes. [C: Yeah.] Like, it's not about- When he makes that decision, it's not about him, which I find fascinating. It's not him like, “I love Lisa, and I want to stay with her! And I love Ben, and I want to stay with her!” It's “I already inflicted with them the fear of not being safe, and so I should be here and keep them safe because it's my responsibility.” [C: Right.] I have a question.

C: Uh-huh.

G: Do you dislike Dean this episode?

C: He's fine.

G: He is? Really?

C: Do you dislike him this episode?

G: No, I find him interesting, but I would say I'm not particularly fond of him. Those are different things to me. [C: Mm.] I think he's just so sad. [both laugh] And as we have established, I don't really like sad characters.

C: Yeah, I think he hasn't really been condescending to anybody that much this episode. I think that's when I dislike him.

G: I think what it is is that he's in the disadvantage of not knowing things this episode. [C: Yeah.] So he can't like, out-snark or whatever like he usually does. [C: He tries.] He's not in the position of power to be in the position of power. [C: Right, yeah.]

-

C: He's talking to the Campbells, and he suggests being bait at Lisa's house. Sort of has a snarky thing because Christian Campbell's like, "Oh, you're not an experienced hunter."

G: "Leave it to the professionals."

C: And Dean's like, "Well, actually, because I'm super experienced, I know about this thing called bait, and I want to be that."

G: Yeah, he said, "I'm gonna queer that bait."

C: Exactly. So they go into Lisa's house, and they call him gay for like five minutes.

G: No, what is this about?

C: Yeah, I don't know. I think it's about how having a beautiful girlfriend and living in a house in the suburbs makes you gay.

G: In the apple crumble, apple tart, apple turnover, apple pie life, at what point is it gay?What makes it gay? Because they make fun of his hobbies, too, like, "Oh, he plays golf. Gay."

C: I don't think the golf thing was gay. I feel like that was just Sam being like, "That's stupid." I feel like the first two things felt gay-

G: I feel like it's more of like a class thing. [C: Yeah.] He's like, "Wow, you're rich now, huh? You play golf?"

C: Yeah, I think that's what the golf is.

G: Maybe being gay is rich. Or being rich is gay or whatever. I don't know. Maybe being gay is rich.

C: They did say that in "Terrible Life." [G: Yeah.] Yeah, Gwen picks up like a women's magazine or something, and she's like, "Oh, is this yours or your wife's?" The cover's Scarlett Johansson, I think, and it says, "150 best beauty buys" and also, "What to wear now. Weekend classics. Sexy date looks." Yeah, the magazine is InStyle.

G: Why do they keep making fun of Dean for having a wife or a girlfriend who cares about things.

C: I think it's just- I don't know.

G: The proximity of it, yeah.

C: She called him gay earlier, and now she's like, "And I bet you want to wear pretty dresses and have hot date night looks." I don't know what it is. I think it's just like, "This is a shallow thing to care about in general because I'm a hunter woman, and I don't, so either way, whoever owns it, I think they're stupid."

G: Yeah, I think that's the vibe with the golf also. Like, "Oh, you actually care about this?What a loser." It's about, I think, the sincerity of enjoying domestic life is what they're making fun of him for. Because if Dean stood there and was like, "[scoffs] Oh, look at this. So stupid," it'll be fine. So it's not the proximity. It's not the existence of the thing in a place he lives in. It's him not being bothered by it and enjoying it and fully participating in this kind of life. You know, Supernatural has this thing where "You can do it, but you need to be ashamed by it!" [C: Yeah.] You know? You can kill someone brutally in a hunt, but the concern is if you're not worried- if you're not sad about it, then that's a bad thing. But the killing itself is fine. And this is like, the same vibe.

C: Yeah, Mark Campbell's just looking at a photo of Dean and Lisa, and like, making a face about it. And Sam starts talking about golf.

G: No, literally. They're like, "Ugh, I can't believe you have pictures of yourself and your family in this house that you live in with your family." Like what? [laughs] [C: Yeah.] Yeah, as I said, it's the unabashed enjoyment and participation. If he was like apprehensive, if it was like, "Oh, there's pictures of everyone but me because I don't like taking pictures because I think it's cringe," it's gonna be fine.

C: Yeah, "My stupid girlfriend makes me do it."

G: It is- This does get to me. Because I remember one time, I was reading this research, and they did it in Indonesia, but like, it's based on research has already been done in other countries where it's like, they would- I forgot the actual procedure, but they measured the like, "What is the thing that makes men like, not like it when women are in the workplace or not like it if their wife goes to work?"And the findings are basically like, they're fine by it, like, as a person, but once you put them in a social situation with other people, that's when it becomes like, a bad thing. Like, it's not the personal perception. It's like, "Oh, but what will people think if my wife were smarter than me?" And this is like, the feeling of the scene, right? Dean is fine with it. Dean enjoys his life. But the question of like, "Oh, but what will people think if they know that I love to- I don't know. Teach a kid how to change a tire? [C laughs] What would they think?"

C: Yeah. "It's humiliating."

G: Yeah. Anyway, Samuel and Dean have this entire conversation where Dean is like, "Oh yeah, go ahead, tell me that I'm such a suburban- I'm a soccer mom." And Samuel kind of dismisses it, and then he goes, "No, I get it. You wanted a normal life. You got a normal life. Your mom wanted a normal life." And he says, "You remind me of her, actually. The same attitude." It's actually like, kind of smart of him to be like, "Oh, yeah, Dean, you remind me of your mom. And also, you should leave your entire family and join us." [C laughs] Like, this guy knows how to talk to people. By "knows how to talk to people," I mean like, manipulate other people's inclinations. This is where he mentions the whole thing with the djinn acting out and other creatures that weren't supposed to do things a certain way doing it that way. Werewolves are coming out even though it's not full moon and etc etc, and there's some creatures they've never seen before and yeah, so we don't know what's happening, but we need all hands on deck. And so he's asking Dean to leave his life and join the Campbells.

C: Season 5 also opens with like, Sam being a similar situation where he leaves hunting and all that, [G: Yeah.] and then people are like, "Well, everyone's gonna die and we need all hands on deck," etc etc. Does like, the show's attitude about this differ widely between the Sam and the Dean situations?

G: I don't know, actually. I feel like there is a bit more conflict that they give for Dean just because of the situation. Dean has actively a life he's gonna leave behind versus Sam, where they painted it as "He's leaving behind his life." [C: Mm.] So I don't know. You know what I mean, right? [C: Yeah.] Like, maybe if they did this a year earlier for Dean, like, they did it a month into his life, maybe it would be a bit more similar. But now it's like, I don't know. I feel like they're just incomparable because of the difference of what they're gonna leave behind if they go back to hunting.

C: Well, I mean, Sam was potentially leaving sobriety behind if he went back to hunting, but [G: Yeah.] yeah, I guess it's not really a direct one-on-one the way that Dean going back to hunting somehow means that he has to leave Lisa and Ben forever and not even text. [laughs] [G: Yeah.]

-

C: Mark is in a truck doing lookout, and his thing is just that he doesn't talk and is maybe mean? And he sees a bunch of djinn or three of them off in the trees. So Dean tell all the Campbell's that they need to leave because they won't come to the house if it's packed.

G: Ahh. [C: Huh?] The Campbell that died was the one in the car earlier.

C: Yeah.

G: There's like, a dead guy in a car. Okay, got it. [C: Yeah.] I couldn't figure out where the fuck a dead person was earlier, but now I remember and I understand.

C: Yeah, it was the person in a car who had to look out for Lisa and Ben.

G: I thought that was just some dude. I honestly was like, "Wow, there's just some guy here who's dead." [both laugh] RIP.

C: RIP for real. He tells the Campbells to clear out so that the djinn will actually come and attack them and they won't if they're outnumbered-

G: Oh, Crystal! [C: Yeah?] We forgot to talk about the damn splash screen.

C: I don't even remember what it was. [laughs]

G: It's glass. It's like, it's blue. It's like glass. There's no screaming. 'Cause I think last season was the screaming, right? [C: Yes.] This one has like, a pitch. You know, like the sound that Cas would make on the radio. [C: Aww.] Sounds like that. And yeah, and it's blue, so like, icy cold aesthetic, and then there's like, glass cracking. Or maybe it's ice cracking, but I'm pretty sure it's glass smashing to pieces. And I was thinking about this and my immediate thought was, of course, Lucifer's line about how Hell runs cold or like, Lucifer runs cold. And I think about like what we see of Sam in Hell later in the season. [C: It's fire.] And he's literally being burned. And it's like, aw, I'm sad that they didn't continue that motif. But I think that that is the feeling that evokes in me this season. I didn't really know how what else it should. I don't know.

C: Yeah, I don't know either.

G: These fucking season intros are very hit or miss as always.

C: So the Campbell's leave. While Sam and Dean are alone, Dean does the "Hey, do you wanna talk about Hell and your feelings or something?" and Sam just goes, "No. [laughs] Like, I'm back. I'm fine. Why do I wanna think about that?" And Dean tries to talk about it some more, but then he sees that his neighbor and best friend that he just let go, Sid, is being killed by djinn, and so is his wife. He starts running over there to save them even though Sam says like, "Don't bother. Like, they're literally already dead. Why are you doing this?" But Dean runs in anyway, and he's very sad about how Sid died, except he's not actually that sad. He just says "Sid" in like, honestly a voice that sounds bored, [laughs] so I understand why you missed that he was the guy who died, Grey. The djinn attack Dean, and they're like, "We're gonna kill you because you killed our dad in Season 2!" [both laughing]

G: No, this is their precursor to Jenny. [C laughs] [C: It really is.] They were like, "Let's try it out," you know? Like any season now, we could end it, so let's try it out.

C: "Let's try a four-season gap." Yeah. [laughs] So funny. And then he gets poisoned, and he starts hallucinating that Lisa and Ben are coming back, and they're gonna get killed, and Azazel's there-

G: Via lifting up the fucking wall.

C: - and Lisa's in the white nightgown. He lifts her up into the air, and then he cuts her stomach like Mary, and then she's on fire, and also the whole time Ben's there, and Azazel's like, "You should drink my demon blood. Yeah!"

G: It is crazy that that's like the direct line. Like it literally is like, Dean thinks of Ben like Sam. [C: Yeah.] It's so explicit. Well, at least it's supportive of my argument of like, Dean can't help but think of Sam as his kid.

C: Ohh. One of the djinn is the waitress who gave Dean her number.

G: The number? Oh, you know what? I couldn't- I'm so sorry, but I couldn't recognize her. I thought she was the other Campbell. I was like, "Oh my god! One of the Campbells is a fake Campbell and is actually a djinn!" [C laughs]

C: No. Yeah, I didn't recognize her. I thought she was just some new woman. But no. Okay. Cool.

G: It is kind of wild the way they are like, "Oh, this person is a djinn. And the way we're gonna show that they're evil is to zoom in on the tattoos they have." [C: Yeah.] [laughs] Kind of wild! Don't know about that, man. Don't know about that, Phil Sgriccia.

C: Kind of wild, yeah. There's glowing in Season 2, which, that makes more sense to me 'cause that's like, things that humans don't do.

G: These just look like some guys.

C: The tattoos, that's weird. [G: Yeah.] They capture Brigitta, the waitress, and like, get her in the van alive, and they don't really say what they do with her after that.

G: Yeah. Samuel's like, "Take her away." Ominous!

C: She gets taken away.

G: You know, when you say "They don't really say," are you like, saying that, or do you actually know? Or what's going on?

C: Oh, well, I was assuming they'd torture her or something. I don't really know what the point of keeping her alive is.

G: Well, I suppose you'll know.

C: Like, maybe to make his djinn poison cure he needs something? I don't know what it is.

-

G: Sam and Dean are now in the house, and it's just the two with them, like all the other Campbells have like, gone out. And Sam's like, "Oh, yeah, I'm gonna meet them. Are you gonna come with me?" And Dean says, "No, I'm gonna go back for Lisa and Ben." He says he changed his mind. And then Sam goes, "Look, I practically shoved you at them." And Dean literally says what you said earlier, like, "That's a really hilarious way to put that." [laughs] And Sam says, "I wanted that for you, but now I'm not sure." And Sam says something that, if you didn't notice before that Sam is acting weird, you definitely know this now. He just says, straight up, quite unfeelingly, goes, "I mean, you gotta consider the fact that you'd be putting them in danger if you go back," which like, we've seen Sam waver on this, right? Like, we've seen Sam make the other argument to himself. And then we've seen Sam make this argument to Adam, actually. [C: And to Jimmy.] Yeah, and to Jimmy. But the thing is, when he made those arguments to those people, it was either like, angry, frustrated, or like, very sad, and it's very obvious that it's coming from a personal conflict for him as well. Like, he considers this to be the case for him, and that's what- you know, like, it's coming from a place of sadness about his own situation. It's just this one is said so matter-of-fact-ually. Like, "Oh, yeah. I mean, you're gonna put them in danger." and so unfeelingly that you're like, "Oh. Something's weird!" I- honestly, why are people saying that- Okay. Sam, like, soulless Sam, honestly, my main thought was like, "They uncatholicized my boy." [both laugh] They removed his fucking Catholic guilt, man! Yeah, I don't know. I think it's great.

C: Yeah. I also like him.

G: Yeah. And Dean says, like, "Actually, you're wrong. I'll be putting them in more danger if I leave, because then no one's going to be able to protect them." And Sam says, "Well, okay, that's fine. But I still wish you were coming because you have this willingness to help people. That's what drives you. You don't think twice about it. Like, you went into that house without even thinking about it." And Dean is like, "Yeah, I mean, it was the wrong move, but also, you would have done the same thing." And Sam says, "No, I wouldn't have." C: "I don't care about people."

G: "I wouldn't even think to try." And Sam says, "Yeah, no, IDGAF actually, so." And as he's heading out, Dean does the biggest gesture that he is capable of in any situation. He tries to hand Sam the keys to the car. And Sam literally just goes, "Okay. But no." [laughs] He says, "Thanks, but I already got my car set up how I like it." [C laughs] [C: So fun.] And he goes.

C: It's a very good final note of like, "something is wrong with Sam for real." 'Cause like, "Swan Song" literally was about the Impala and how [G: How much he loves that.] important it was Sam, how it's his home, etc etc. So I think it's a very good ending note that's like, just the right amount of subtle and not subtle as like a "something is wrong with him." 'Cause I feel like a lot of the earlier stuff, you can be like, "Oh, that's the Hell trauma. That's the Hell trauma." But I feel like this one is like, "Oh, something really is up."

G: Yeah. I find it fascinating, and I don't know. The way people interface with Season 6 Sam, I think, is also interesting, because it's so much. It's so interesting what they're doing with Season 6 Sam. Yeah, I'm looking forward. Honestly, I know I berated this episode, but I am looking forward to Season 6, and I- I don't know. It's, I think, the first season we will watch- That's not true. I didn't know much about like, Season 2. No, I think I know more about Season 2 than I did- going into the podcast- than I did Season 6. But yeah, this is the first season where I think I'm in for a ride that I'm not that familiar with, you know? [C: Yeah.] So I'm excited. I think we'll see Cas in episode 3. So I don't think he's around next episode yet. [C: Mm-hm.] Yeah. And I'm not actually sure what the next episode is about. But okay, that's what I think about this episode. How about you?

C: Whatevs.

G: You don't care?

C: It was fine. It was an amount of time. [G: Yeah.] I mean, I look forward to seeing Sam again.

G: Yeah. I mean, it's a different Sam, so I understand if it's not like, the same fondness or whatever.

C: No, I like new Sam. I think he's fun.

G: Yeah, he is fun. Well, Best Line/Worst Line.

C: Oh. There were lines in this?

G: Yeah, it feels like just like, it feels like putty, you know? [C laughs] Like, I feel like the the reason why I'm like, weird about this episode is like, it does feel like something is off about it, and I can't pinpoint to anything other than "they've got a new showrunner."

C: I mean, I think a large percentage of it is hallucinations or feels like hallucinations, so that could be part of it.

G: What do you mean by that?

C: I feel like I was never really settled in the episode because it was often like, "Is this happening? I don't know."

G: Ah. Yeah, you're right. You're right. It's the nature of the episode as well. Okay. Best Line/Worst Line. [C: Uhh.] I think my worst lines are every single thing Azazel says. [C: Mm.] I just think it's so corny. Like, "Oh, no, Dean! Your life? It's gonna fall apart." [C laughs] Like, okay. Whatever. Everybody dies. Who give a shit?

C: Okay. For real

G: I don't actually know if there's any good lines this entire episode. You know what? I do like-

C: "I already got my car set up how I like it" was fun.

G: This is true. You know, I do like the way Dean talks to Lisa about sweeping over the place. Yeah. He does say like- this is the line. He goes, "I'll tell you what. Just because, you know, I have an OCD thing about this, why don't you and Ben go to the movies. Hit the Cheesecake Factory. You know, hang out with the teeming masses, and I'll do one last sweep just to be one hundred percent sure." Like, I like that he words it not as like, "Oh, I'm worried, so you guys should go." It's more of like, "I want to self-soothe by placating my feelings, and a way for me to do that is for you guys to be out of the house for a bit." [C: Mm-hm.] I wonder how much Ben knows.

C: I mean, he was in that that cage when the changeling shit happened.

G: Yeah, but do they explain to him that like [C: The Apocalypse?], "Dean almost died saving the world" or whatever?

C: Yeah, I don't know. I feel like he'd questions, but I don't know if they'd answer them.

G: Yeah. The thing is like, I think there was a time in my life where I was like, "How come Lisa is not curious about it?" Because I don't think she knows about what went down, and she doesn't ask. I think now, as I'm older, I'm like, "Yeah. Who give a shit." [C laughs] Not "Who give a shit?" but you really wouldn't ask, I don't think.

C: Hm.

G: Would you? You would?

C: Yeah. Yeah. "You said you'd saved the world from Apocalypse. Like, how? What? What was gonna happen? What are you talking about?"

G: Ah, okay. I don't think I would. I think I'll be like, "Okay, let's go. Are you gonna come with me? I'm gonna fetch the kid or something." [C: Hm.] Yeah. But as you know, the other week, I told you that I'm trying to work on being better talking at people about things. [C: Yeah.] And you asked, "So like, are you gonna talk to more people about more things?" And I'm like, "No, I'm never gonna talk about anything ever! I'm trying to not talk. [both laughing] That's what I do." So maybe that's the reason behind this thinking.

C: Maybe so.

G: Spreadsheets? Spread those sheets?

There's definitely homophobia. [C: There's something.] And I would classify it as homophobia.

C: It's there.

G: Okay, misogyny. How are we gonna do this?

C: It's there.

G: How are we gonna do this? How are we gonna do this? I'm inclined to say yes-

C: Yeah, but not high.

G: Not for Lisa. I wouldn't say- Not for Lisa specifically I would say the fact that they gave most of the homophobia lines to the one woman, and I do think it's because she's a woman because they're trying to like a "Oh, yeah, but she's not girly. [C: Yeah.] And Dean, you're girlier than her" or whatever the fuck. [C laughs] Like, I don't like that. And I also don't really like the thing that they do with the waiter of like, "Oh, she's giving her number to Dean," but Dean's like, "Ugh, what a- Women always like men who are unavailable!" He says that. [C: Yeah.] So I don't like that as well.

C: Mm-hm. Yeah. So is that a 2?

G: Yeah, I'd say 2.

C: Racism, I think, for the djinn, there should be points. How many?

G: 1 or 2.

C: I'll give it a 2 just to be even across the board because how much homophobia do you think there is?

G: A lot. I think it's fundamental to the episode.

C: Hm. How many homophobia points?

G: I'd say a 3.

C: Okay, yeah. Yeah. I see the vision.

G: Alright. Now, you need to do the IMDb for the Season 6.

C: Yes. You said evens and odds for who guesses first. [G: Yeah!] So who's guessing first this time?

G: Do you think of yourself more as an even person or an odd person? [C laughs]

C: I think odd.

G: You're odd. Okay? Why? What's your reasoning?

C: I don't know. The odds have the prime numbers in them. Those are fun.

G: What? But 2 is also a prime number.

C: There's only one even number that's a prime number. [G: Ah.] There's a lot of odds that are prime numbers.

G: Okay, okay.

C: This is a tough one. I really have no clue. I feel like some people- A lot of season openers just get rated high because people are like, "I'm so excited Supernatural is back!" but I feel like Sam acting weird might throw some people off. I think new showrunner might throw some people off.

G: Yeah. But there's also a chance that people went back to rate it. Like people-

C: Like, after the soulless Sam reveal, and they were like, "Actually, this was genius!"

Oh, interesting! 5.01 only got an 8.7. Is this better or worse than 5.01?

G: What is 5.01?

C: 5.01, "Sympathy for the Devil."

G: "Laz Rise," of course, is so highly rated. [C: Mm-hm.] "Magnificent Seven" is 8.5. That episode is balanced.

C: Yeah. So it seems that season openings don't actually get a specific boost that I think that they do.

G: I mean, we were right that Season 2 and Season 4 were uniquely good [C: True.] according to the IMDbs, and they were.

C: Yes. Okay, I'm gonna go with an 8.6.

G: That's good. You know, I still can't believe that "In My Time of Dying" is that good. It is actually stupendously good, and yeah. Great, wonderful. Well, my grade for this one is an 8 point- You know what? I'm gonna go lower. It's an 8.4. It's not that good. [C: Alright!] Okay, let's see. [gasps] It's a 7.6!

C: Oh, that's really bad.

G: People dislike it!

C: People fucking hate it.

G: I think for the reasons you said about Sam. [C: Huh! Alright.] People are saying Season 5 was so hype so like, of course Season 6 is gonna be bad. They're saying like, "There's no real explanation for anything," which is true. They're trying to hide all that shit. It is- I think it is pretty brave for Sera Gamble to go, "Season 5 was a banger season. New showrunner, everything. We're going to start this season. We're not gonna explain anything. It's gonna play the fuck out." I commend that. It's a miserable watching experience, I guess, if you're watching it the first time and you don't know what's happening, but I commend the bravery.

This one is complaining that Dean said possums carry rabies. Not true.

C: I mean, he was lying.

G: Of course, but like, you know-

C: He was making shit up.

G: Yeah, but this person's feelings were hurt because possums don't play like that. This one is like, "Oh, it's so flat and undramatic, like, Sam and Dean's reunion in comparison to like, Dean and Bobby and Dean and Sam in Season 4."

C: I mean, they just didn't see the vision yet.

G: "Ben's character is too flat." That one, yeah, no defense for that. It's true.

C: "And I enjoyed seeing Dean as a one woman man, not responding to girls trying to seduce him like he was in the past, is he really truly in love with Lisa? I have no problem with that!" end of review. [both laugh]

G: This one says, "Supernatural was, for me anyway a sign that good TV could still be found." [C laughs] And then they, like, you know, say good things about Season 5, they insult “Route 666,” and they say like, "Oh, Season 5 finale was great. This was really bad. It was a disappointment. It was bland. The role reversal sickened me. Bringing back gramps into the picture is a HUGE mistake." That one is true. [C: Agreed.] "I've decided to give it until episode 4 or 5 to become what it once was, hoping that it will get better. I'm sorry to say, I'm not expecting it. So in the event that it truly doesn't regain it's former glory, Farewell Supernatural! It's a shame to see you become one of the walking dead that your cast hunts." [C laughing] Kind of a banger. And it's 2 out of 10.

C: This is their last ever IMDb review. [G: Oh my god!] They've only got 2. They only have 2. So it's possible that they went back to Supernatural. We don't really know.

G: Yeah. So sorry. Well, at least they watch Biohazard 2, and it's the best of the now 5-game series. "Scary, suspenseful, and plot twist that will leave you in awe." [C laughs]

C: "I'll give it 3/10,one for bobby,one for sam and one for dean." [both laugh] So true!

G: That's hilarious. "Screenplay sucks! Get new writers!" "Get new writers!" Even more "get new writers."

C: Well, there's gonna be a writing duo called Buckleming [laughs] [G: Oh, god.] that are gonna come up pretty soon.

G: "Dean, Dean, Dean." "The season gets worse from this episode onwards." This is from December 6, 2021. "Season six is the worst season of the entire series." Oh, Crystal! [both laugh] "It starts with an awful opener that doesn't hold s candle to the excellent season finale of season 5. Plus the jerk Samuel returns which doesn't make any sense [C: Real.] and Dean playing happy families just feels wrong. [C: That's not true.] Season six was just an excuse to let the series drag on and they should have ended it at season five." I think maybe a lot of the people who are like, "Season 5 should have been the ending of Supernatural!" really are driven by Season 6 and 7. 'Cause when I say Supernatural should have continued, it's because I'm thinking of Season 10, Season 9, Season 14. You know, I love Season 14, honestly. You know, like I'm thinking of the later seasons. But this one, this two Sera Gamble- I'm so sorry. [C laughs] But these two Sera Gamble ones really do suck. And I mean, I'm still excited. Like, I still want to get into Season 6. Season 7, I don't think I can do it. Like, I don't think I can be excited. So sorry. We're gonna lose our minds that season. What if we do that like thing where like, two episode per episode in Season 7. You think that could work?

C: I mean, maybe.

G: Or maybe not. Well, that’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we will be discussing Season 6 Episode 2, “Two and a Half Men.” Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts.

C: Follow us on social media! We are on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod, which is where our outtakes live, and check out our merch on RedBubble- what. And check out our merch at babpod.redbubble.com.

G: You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com. See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

[sallyf4ce]

wolves

chapter IV

-> sally face x f!reader

-> enemies? to lovers

-> previous | next

cw: drugs, cigarettes, violence, homophobia

*does not follow original plot of sally face*

summary: (y/n) and travis make up (ish), (y/n) gets hurt again (you really shouldn’t be surprised), larry gets a little moody (i don’t think he likes (y/n) very much), sal makes a move on (y/n) (although he doesn’t know he did)

“You’re (y/n), right? New kid?” Travis looks at you as you press the wet cloth to your nose. You nod.

“How’d you know?”

“Sal said it. he muttered. The disgusted look on his face was proven a facade by the blush on his cheeks.

“You’re in love, buddy.” you laugh.

“No i’m fucking not! You’re so fucking stupid, what the fuck? Who could love a faggot like Sally f-” you cut him off my shoving his head into the wall roughly. You don’t know what came over you, but being homophobic is still homophobic even if you’re in denial. You convinced yourself that it wasn’t about sally, it was just you being an ally. Way to kill the mood, travis.

“You pull that shit one more time and I'll leave you without teeth, blondie. Or would you rather i tell your dad that you hit girls?”

He squirms underneath your palm. “Sorry.” he looks at you with a pleading face.

You sigh and let him go. “S’fine. You need to learn how to control your anger, though, fuckface. You’re not gonna get anywhere with that attitude.” stuffing the bloody towel in your bag, you lead him out the door.

“I hate you.” Travis scoffs.

“What did i say?”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

“Larry, she’s already closer to travis than she is to us and they just met. Travis is a full-on dick, and they’re being all friendly! I didnt even know that was possible!” Sal chucks his bag in his locker. He hasn’t known you for long, but longer than travis! Plus he’s way nicer, too! Why’d you have to go and get all friendly with his bully?

“I don’t fucking like it either, sally face. Maybe we should just stay away from them.” Larry crossed his arms and leaned against the lockers.

Sal didn’t want to stay away from you, though. You were sweet, he was sure, just a little distant. Plus you just sort of intrigued him. He wanted to know why you were like this, what happened to you, why you had a prosthetic. Maybe it was hypocritical of him, though. He's only told Larry and Ashley about what happened to him, so he shouldn’t be picking at your trauma. you’ll tell him when you feel comfortable with it, but you’d need to be comfortable with him for that. and right now, it seems like you’re pretty comfortable with his bully.

“let’s go, dude. class starts in 5.”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

After grabbing your schedule with Travis, you set your stuff in your new locker (which smelled pretty good, surprisingly.) and began walking to your first class, math. Travis laughed at you when you read your schedule outloud and you gave him a whack on the head. What an idiot. He headed off to his first class, english.

you opened the door to the classroom and coughed to get the attention of the teacher, Mrs. Packerton.

“Ah, lovely! Class, say hi to (y/n) (l/n)!” she smiles as you awkwardly wave.

“You’ll be sitting in the back, right beside Sal.” an inaudible groan leaves your cracked lips as you make your way towards him, trying not to make eye contact.

“uh, here.” he moves over. you plop yourself down next to him and open your notebook.

“we’re doing a test right now. i’m pretty sure you won’t have to do it, since it’s your first day and all.” his blue hair bounces as he looks over to you again. it looks fluffy.

“you wanna touch it?” he chuckles. you don’t want to come off creepy, but he’s offering, right?

you reach out your prosthetic hand but quickly pull it back and switch it, realizing you can’t actually feel with it. he chuckles at your mistake and leans in to your touch.

you were right. it felt like clouds, puffy but still silky. it wasn’t combed properly, though.

“Mr. Fisher and Mrs. (L/n), you little lovebirds. hands to yourselves, please.” Mrs. Packerton laughs a little. “Ah, young love.”

you quickly pull your hand back and flush.

“stupid old lady.” you mutter.

“Mrs. P’s nice, she’s just a little… enamoured in her students’ love lives.” sal laughs.

“stop, you’re making her sound like a pedophile!” you cover your mouth to suppress your laugh and sal’s face heats up even more. He made you laugh!

You both quieted down as Sal continued his test and you doodled in your sketchbook.

“are you okay? after travis, you know.” he hummed, a mix of concern and jealousy swirling in his eyes.

“uh, yeah. i’m fine.”

“You sure? Your lips look pretty busted.”

“It’s all good.”

“why do you hang out with him, anyway?” he turned his test upside down and faced you again.

“what do you mean?” you’re confused.

“he hit you in the face first thing in the morning. If i was you, i wouldn't really like him.” sal gripped his pencil.

“are you jealous?” you question, a smirk on your face.

“No.” his expression is hidden behind his mask. you look into his eyes, trying to make him blush.

the blue is a different blue than the one you saw yesterday. it’s lighter, almost like a porcelain blue.

“whatever you say, porcelain face.”

“porcelain face?”

“your mask, and your eyes, i guess. they’re like a porcelain doll’s.”

he hums.

“what are you then? metal hand? cyborg? fist of steel?”

“you forgot iron fist.”

“iron fist?”

“sure.” you grin. sal’s heart flutters again.

“Alright children, please hand in your tests and nicely file out the class. The bell will ring any moment.” Mrs. Packerton smiles sweetly and starts collecting tests. You grab your bag and leave the class.

Sal looked around the room for a bit, looking for you. A flash of (h/c) hair leaving the room catches his eyes. He tries running after you, but you’re already heading towards your next class.

•Lunch time•

“Shut the fuck up, Trav. I said she was stupid, not stupid hot. I don't know where you got hot from! I literally never said it.” You shoved his shoulder. He just snickered and continued teasing you.

“Hey, (y/n)! Come have lunch with us!” Sal saw you walking with travis. He waved you over from the cafeteria. Travis immediately stopped laughing and sneered. He quickly began walking over to sal, raising his fist.

“Leave us alone, fucking fag-” travis swung at sal but you stepped in front of them, raising your arm to cover sal’s face since he was taller.

Travis throws punches like a wrestler, You already knew that. Maybe you shouldn't have used your real hand to catch it.

His fist slammed into your forearm roughly and you flinched.

“Fuck- travis, go cool off. Now. Leave.” you hold onto your arm. It stings, but it's not broken. You’ll be fine.

“You’re all a bunch of-” he stops mid sentence as you give him a glare. It sort of said ‘you’re gay too, dumbass.’ he scrunched his eyebrows and walked off.

“Oh my fucking god!” a girl with brown hair ran over to you and lightly grabbed your arm.

“This her, sal? Are you (Y/n)?” she looked at you. She seemed very sweet. Kind of reminded you of your cousin.

“Uh- yeah- can you let go?”

She smiles in apology and lets go.

“You didn't have to do that, (y/n).” sal scratches the back of his head. You’ve gotten hurt twice because of him. How are you supposed to be friends if the only thing sal does is hurt you?

“I think maple might have an ice pack in her lunch. Can you come sit with us?” He hopes you say yes.

“Yeah, okay.” you needed the ice pack and travis was nowhere to be seen, so you didn’t really have a choice.

“Hey, (y/n).” Larry grumbles as you walk to their table. It seems he’s upset with you.

“I just saved your buddy from travis. Not to your liking or something?” you look up to him. If something’s wrong, he should just fucking say it. Not beat around the bush like a pussy.

“Yeah. you and travis seem to be getting along well.” he finally makes eye contact with you. Sal and the girl seem uncomfortable.

“We all got our issues, asshole. Some of us just know how to deal with them better than others.” You sneer. He’s allowed not to like Travis, but he’s not allowed to be a bitch to you because you actually understand his actions and choose to help him instead of ignoring him.

“Whatever.” he spits. You turn to sal.

“I’ll get my own ice.” you begin walking away. “Also, watch your dog.” you hear sal chuckle as larry groans. He walks up to you before you can leave, Larry throwing his arms up in the air in disbelief.

“Hey, uh, (y/n)? I’m sorry you got hurt. Could- could i make it up to you somehow?” his hand is on yours. It’s warm, he’s probably blushing hard under his mask.

“Sure, sally. How would you do that?” you spin around to face him. You can see his mask rise a little and his smile peaks through.

“Do you have a phone?” he pulls his cell out. It’s just a simple black flip-phone with a few paint splatters.

“I do, it’s in my locker. I dont have my number memorized, though. Stupid area codes.” you mumble. “You wanna come get it with me?”

Sal looks back to his friends. Ash is nodding frantically while Larry twirls a cigarette through his fingers, still mad.

“Alright.”

taglist: @purelydarling @deadpoetsandhoney @ghostfacefricker6969 @percyyzz @whatsurgamertag @kiillian @potatochic2003 @beingaweebishell @glitterydonutangel @izzydrawsandwrites @angellicbitch @elebeleb @dream-of-eros @mr-bombastic

[awkward-toshinori]

Hey Yo, can I get all 200 asks for the ask meme thing? Please and thank you!

Absolutely

200: My crush’s name is:

Horia

199: I was born in:

Romania

198: I am really:

friendly and trustworthy

197: My cellphone company is:

Digi

196: My eye color is:

Aqua Blue

195: My shoe size is:

7,5

194: My ring size is:

20?? hell if i know tbh

193: My height is:

5′7

192: I am allergic to:

nothing

191: My 1st car was:

I can’t drive yet!!

190: My 1st job was:

No jobs yikes :c

189: Last book you read:

Sword of Destiny!!

188: My bed is:

messy and full of plushies

187: My pet:

no pets but ahh  my baby plant

186: My best friend:

I’ve got tons of them and I’m pretty sure they know themselves

185: My favorite shampoo is:

ah I don’t really have any preferences

184: Xbox or ps3:

*big gasp* ps3

183: Piggy banks are:

They’re superb but I would feel so bad about wrecking one

182: In my pockets:

Glasses tissues

181: On my calendar:

uh there’s nothing noted yet

180: Marriage is:

Something quiet amazing and lovely, at least from my point

179: Spongebob can:

aww man I don’t watch spongebob

178: My mom:

is shorther than me, that’s for sure

177: The last three songs I bought were?

I didn’t buy any songs but I did buy albums and the last three I bought I suppose were Aenima by tool, Portrait of An American Familly by Marilyn Manson and Slipknot by Slipknot, I think

176: Last YouTube video watched:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q9UafsiQ6k

175: How many cousins do you have?

2 or 3 I think

174: Do you have any siblings?

Yes, one

173: Are your parents divorced?

nope

172: Are you taller than your mom?

yes B)

171: Do you play an instrument?

Not yet but I’m planning on getting a bass so

170: What did you do yesterday?

I went to a cool concert

169: Love at first sight:

not rlly

168: Luck:

nope

167: Fate:

also no

166: Yourself:

no *oops doopsie I’m sorry*

165: Aliens:

yes

164: Heaven:

nah

163: Hell:

no

162: God:

nopety

161: Horoscopes:

not really

160: Soul mates:

hmm  a bit

159: Ghosts:

no

158: Gay Marriage:

157: War:

not really

156: Orbs:

not really  :/

155: Magic:

no but I find it interesting154: Hugs or Kisses:

hugs

153: Drunk or High:

I personally wouldn’t go for any of those but drunk ig

152: Phone or Online:

online

151: Red heads or Black haired:

black haired

150: Blondes or Brunettes:

ah, blondes

149: Hot or cold:

cold

148: Summer or winter:

winter

147: Autumn or Spring:

spring

146: Chocolate or vanilla:

vanilla

145: Night or Day:

night

144: Oranges or Apples:

oranges

143: Curly or Straight hair:

straight

142: McDonalds or Burger King:

McDonalds

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate:

White Chocolate

140: Mac or PC:

PC

139: Flip flops or high heals:

flip flops

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor:

sweet and poor tbh

137: Coke or Pepsi:

coke

136: Hillary or Obama:

Obama??!!

135: Burried or cremated:

cremated

134: Singing or Dancing:

singing

133: Coach or Chanel:

coach

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks:

I uh, none

131: Small town or Big city:

big city

130: Wal-Mart or Target:

I had never went to one though Wal-Mart

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler:

Adam Sandler

128: Manicure or Pedicure:

Manicure

127: East Coast or West Coast:

East Coast

126: Your Birthday or Christmas:

Christmas

125: Chocolate or Flowers:

flowers

124: Disney or Six Flags:

disney

123: Yankees or Red Sox:

Yankees

122: War:

I uh personally don’t agree with them and uh dunno

121: George Bush:

Don’t have one yet

120: Gay Marriage:

I find it lovely but too sad it’s not legal here so

119: The presidential election:

Quiet stinky as in no good choices

118: Abortion:

See this topic rips itself in two, if it’s intentionally done I personally think it’s the worst thing to do but that someone can do whatever they want, it’s their body after all, though if it happens and it’s not intended just, big sad react

117: MySpace:

I don’t have an opinion on it

116: Reality TV:

I don’t really watch it nor like it

115: Parents:

I would’ve appreciated if my parents showed me more support and love but not that I have anything against our type of relationship at the moment so

114: Back stabbers:

I totally not like them so I choose to cut contact with them 

113: Ebay:

It’s fine till now

112: Facebook:

I’m not a big fan of Facebook

111: Work:

If it’s something I love, it makes me feel good but if it’s not it kind of brings a feeling of uneasy and frustration to me

110: My Neighbors:

They’re chill, the baby and the puppy are my favorites 

109: Gas Prices:

kinda shitty here

108: Designer Clothes:

They can design what they want however they want, this is not really a topic of interest for me

107: College:

I can’t wait to get to it ngl

106: Sports:

Not one of my interests but they do look fun

105: My family:

I tolerate them easily but yeah I love them

104: The future:

Other than that I’m scared as hell regarding the future? nah

103: Hugged someone:

Eh!! Today!!

102: Last time you ate:

7 hours ago??

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile:

Oh last week I think

100: Cried in front of someone:

U H, yesterday

99: Went to a movie theater:

last thursday

98: Took a vacation:

last Christmas

97: Swam in a pool:

last summer

96: Changed a diaper:

never tbh

95: Got my nails done:

OH, it’s been ages since I’ve done that

94: Went to a wedding:

4 years ago

93: Broke a bone:

never nyehehe B)

92: Got a peircing:

I don’t have any but planning on getting some

91: Broke the law:

never

90: Texted: 

minutes ago

89: Who makes you laugh the most:

tbh, my friends

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is:

my stuff but mostly my baby plant

87: The last movie I saw:

Captain MArvel

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most:

finishing high school

85: The thing im not looking forward to:

Missing upcoming opportunities

84: People call me:

Satana(I have the perferct explanation)

83: The most difficult thing to do is:

talk in servers or groups tbh

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket:

Oh I’d feel terrible and embarassed tbh

81: My zodiac sign is:

LEo

80: The first person i talked to today was:

my boyfriend

79: First time you had a crush:

in 5th grade

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from:

My boyfriend.. because he knows when something’s up with me or if something’s not good

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking:

hmmm weeks ago I think

76: Right now I am talking to:

@angelwings-234

75: What are you going to do when you grow up:

be a programmer 

74: I have/will get a job:

I hope to get one as a programmer in the future (though hell If I know what exactly yet)

73: Tomorrow:

I’ll probably hope for school to end faster just so I can nap

72: Today:

I haven’t done much tbh

71: Next Summer:

Will be so busy and I’m so not up to it

70: Next Weekend:

I’ll be going to a cool ass contest

69: I have these pets:

I have a baby plant!!!

68: The worst sound in the world:

static noise

67: The person that makes me cry the most is:

myself?? sounds a bit edgy

66: People that make you happy:

all the close friends in my life and some artists along with stuff I enjoy a lot

65: Last time I cried:

yesterday

64: My friends are:

There are too many to list them but luv them all

63: My computer is:

full of games that I’m probably not going to finish in the following 2 months

62: My School:

kinda sucks when it comes to students

61: My Car:

does not exist yet

60: I lose all respect for people who:

who are rude and big mean bags of shit?? I could detail this but dunno

59: The movie I cried at was:

Interstellar 

58: Your hair color is:

blonde

57: TV shows you watch:

SOA, Gotham when my bf watches it and I don’t really like TV shows though I have some on my waiting list

56: Favorite web site:

https://www.pbinfo.ro/

55: Your dream vacation:

just, somewhere around a forest, it’d be quiet lovely ngl

54: The worst pain I was ever in was:

tooth pain

53: How do you like your steak cooked:

a bit raw tbh

52: My room is:

ass messy as me

51: My favorite celebrity is:

uhhh Corey Taylor

50: Where would you like to be:

Right now?? At my bf, if it wouldn’t bother him..

49: Do you want children:

ABsolutely

48: Ever been in love:

still am ig

47: Who’s your best friend:

I have too many but love them all so much

46: More guy friends or girl friends:

I have more guy friends apparently 

45: One thing that makes you feel great is:

achieving something

44: One person that you wish you could see right now:

All of my best-friends tbh

43: Do you have a 5 year plan:

I do

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die:

Not yet and I doubt I’d do it

41: Have you pre-named your children:

me and my bf came up with some names but who knows

40: Last person I got mad at:

My bf i think

39: I would like to move to:

another city in my country, a much bigger one

38: I wish I was a professional:

artist

37: Candy:

Haribo

36: Vehicle:

Renault or Dacia

35: President:

don’t really have one

34: State visited:

I haven’t been to any at all

33: Cellphone provider:

Digi

32: Athlete:

I don;t have one yikes

31: Actor:

Hmm Benicio Del Toro

30: Actress:

I like some but I don’t have a favorite one

29: Singer:

Peter Steele, his voice is simply, lovely

28: Band:

Ohhh anon Tool and Cargo atm

27: Clothing store:

I don’t have a fav one

26: Grocery store:

any??

25: TV show:

Sons Of Anarchy

24: Movie:

The Alien trilogy

23: Website:

Twitter I think

22: Animal:

Cat

21: Theme park:

I don’t really have one

20: Holiday:

Christmas

19: Sport to watch:

ski jumping

18: Sport to play:

Volleyball I think

17: Magazine:

Don’t have one

16: Book:

The Shinning

15: Day of the week:

Saturdays

14: Beach:

Don’t really like beaches

13: Concert attended:

Truda’s concert for moment but I suppose Disturbing’s going ro replace it or maybe Cannibal Corpse, who knows

12: Thing to cook:

Pudding

11: Food:

Noodles or cremeschnitte

10: Restaurant:

One called Anna

9: Radio station:

don’t have one

8: Yankee candle scent:

dreamy summer nights

7: Perfume:

men’s one are my favorite, gotta admit it

6: Flower:

ORchids

5: Color:

purple and black

4: Talk show host:

don’t have one

3: Comedian:

A romanian one, can’t remember his name

2: Dog breed:

German Shepherd, American Eskimo, Border Collie, Golden Retriever, Siberian HUsky there are too many I can’t choose only one

1: Did you answer all these truthfully?

yes I did it oh god

[kiicn-blog]

did you hear about the monaco trip? it’s legendary at ucla. KIAN KANG is going, i’m so jealous. their instagram makes it seem like they’re pretty dynamic and they’re all about “do what you do best” & texts left on read. can you believe they’re only twenty-three and they’re going on a free trip to monaco for the summer? hopefully they don’t let their aloof side show too much on the trip. • HAS FIVE SIBLINGS • BROKE UP WITH PARTNER OF THREE YEARS TWO MONTHS AGO

uh henlo, quick intro before i disappear for the evening and write my second paper :( you won't see me till like tuesday :(( afternoon :( after class :(( anyways LMAO i'm aye ! i am twenty three :/ she/her pronouns and in the est timezone ! if u haven't already added me, add me on discord new girl could be the 1 for me#8402 , some of u added me and didnt come say hi so i hOPE after u read this u hit me up :( bc . i rly dont kno who is who tht added me JKFMGDSG dont be shy i do not bite :DDD

okay ima keep this fairly simple, let's start w stats ! 

full name: kian kang, no middle name, call him kk haha nickname(s): kiki, k, ki, do not call him ian he won't ever talk to you again, respect his vegan white ass name age: 23. date of birth: november 2nd 1995. hometown: new york, new york. ethnicity: korean. gender: cis male. sexuality: bisexual. hair colour: black. eye colour: brown. height: 5'11. tattoos: has a tattoo of a lion on his right index finger and a tiny heart behind his left ear. piercings: ears, three on the right, two on the left.

okay quick background ! im not gna write a lot and keep it brief bc ive been writing for school and my brain is DEAD i dnt have the mindset to go into depth bout anything but if u wnna know anything else just ask 

kian comes from a well off background like his mom ? a sugar DADDY ! like his dad married into MONEY !

they live in greenwich village in NYC n tht area is so expensive so u can say he had a nice upbringing, went to the best school

anyways ! quick family talk, his dad rly didn't love his mom , and rly only married for money and security and when kian was born he wanted kian to have all the things and opportunities in life that he didnt so he stayed w his mom

n his dad ? gay as FUCK kept tht hidden for god knows how long

it wasnt till kian was like 15 when he was like o ? father thoust r gay huh

yeah so tht marriage ended LMAO and kian wasnt rly happy that his family broke up

at the wedding when they asked does anyone object ? he stood up and said ME bitch but he was joking but he wasnt joking he was serious , u can say hes .. happy .

he has two siblings, they're still babies, twins, they're like 12 thats baby ok he loves his siblings theyre annoying but loves them ! assuming the other three are gna be from the step sibling plot xoxo i can alter this

ok here's a rundown on  kian now

kian , is a very blunt individual like he can be straightforward about a lot of stuff, he doesnt rly sugarcoat his words, it's just how he was raised

sometimes he can come off mean but like it's just.. how he talks and sometimes he doesn't realize what he says is wrong he just says it like this man has never been told to shut up,

he was always favored in school for the way he talked but sometimes tht warranted eyebrows raising left and right but he was still adored for his stupidity and lack of sense

he's an alright kid , can be nice when he wants to be , gentle soul once u rly get past whatever walls he put up

like he doesn't like to show that side as often unless u LOVES u but i feel like he should have air signs in him ..hmm.. will think bout it KFMDG

what am i missing ..

i feel like i missing something,

oh comign from n y of c he's super into looking good, even when he bums it down he looks good, he'll also call u out on ur choices and be like ur wearing tht ? today ? yikes...

if u want an honest opinion he's not afraid to be honest , v brutal xoxo

i think thts it

anyways PLOTS

so. . this is a possible plot ! and im gna base it off the song 'the wall' by anders if u wanna go take a listen teehee anyways, imagine this . it's all lovey dovey for a year and it was going well like over the moon relationship like you almost think these two would have gotten married but then after the year mark, things began to go down the drain? they started to hang out less, fights would break out, sex that would follow the fights but like that's it.. tht was the only intimacy, and sometimes they'd pretend they're okay for a day or two but then have a complete fit over like idk the wrong food order, cheating speculations could have arose and then they really really tried to make it right their third year, trying to go over what went wrong but then they decided to call it quits BUUtt since it's a fresh wound, they could have some slip ups if ukno what i meaaan anyways yeah if u wnna do this xoxo pls be prepared to plot back FKDG

a possible familial relation, like cousin . only cousin really, obv ur chara would have to be korean or half korean but someone who just knows kian inside and out this could be like an angsty familial relationship or a good one

ok another anders based plot ! listen to don't call :)) anyways this one, sometime after his break up he decided to have a few hook ups here and there, meaningless ofc but this specific hook up left a mark on him , maybe by the way they talked to him , he kept coming back for the four second intimacy, it left him confused n dazed , confused bc why am i feelin weird i just had a heartbreak

honestly im just down if anyone just wants to have a simple hook up plot thts cool too no thinking just lmk ! bc he's had a few after his breakup

enemies / ppl who don't get along ? idk kian could have come off COMPLETELY wrong and ur chara could have taken it the wrong way, insults were thrown here and there and they just don't talk with kindness

a sugar baby ! kian got MONEY ! i told u his mom ? a sugar daddy xoxo he doesnt mind spoiling ppl but only one he aint tht generous also u have to build a relationship with him if u want him to spoil u

uh thts it if u have any other plots just lmk xoxo we dont have to just do these

[freckliedan]

For the ask; everything that has a “4” in it. Festive, right? I hope you’re having a wonderful night ⭐️

happy 4th, anon!! & ty for the ask! i’ve been having a lonely night n this def made it loads better

(under the cut bc this got long)

4. What is your favorite word?oh.. maybe, home? but in sign language. it’s not the most beautiful or delightful word i know, in english or sign language, but it’s the one that makes me feel the warmest. (i’ve taken all 4 ASL classes offered at my college, and on one of the only days i was late during my last semester my teacher signed “welcome home” to me when i finally got to class and it’s one of my happiest memories. i’m also very gay for the idea of a home with my found family, so home is just one of my favorite words). 

14. What is your current desktop picture? i literally dont’ know how to find that on this computer because it was my best friend’s before they got a new one and gave it to me (because my old computer was very , very badly broken) but anyways i have no idea where to get the pic they have as the desktop from! so. rip

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. i’m going to assume this means one sandwich right now, rather than for the rest of my life, because that’s a very cruel punishment to wreak upon a taurus with a gf who’s going to culinary school, 

right now i’d make myself a sandwich on nice homemade bread with mayo on one side and that nice fig spread you can buy at fred meyers on the other slice, melt some cheese on the fig slice, add bacon, tomato, lettuce, and avocado, and possibly an egg because i know how to live my LIFE

34. What was your last dream about?i don’t know but some of my friends were in it

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?this is skewed because i’m alaskan but sunsets in the summer and sunrises in the winter. summer sunsets are so nice to chase when the days are long and it never gets darker than twilight (genuinely i haven’t seen the stars since april or early may) and going to an outdoors ocean front park and watching the sun set behind the mountains is GORGEOUS and wonderful but in the winter we have so much darkness that every sunrise is a blessing and every sunset is the worst thing ever. in high school there’d be days where the sun both rose after i got to school and set before i went home at night so when the light shows up in the winter. i’m happy.

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?i’m lactose intolerant so it SHOULD be none of them but this bitch loves dairy YEET anyways it’s strawberry @ places that don’t have a lot of flavors and at places with wider ranges i still usually stick to fruit flavors! cherry is good.

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) i’m a lesbian

43. Do you have any scars?i have a chickenpox scar on my eyelid & on the upper limits of what could be considered my left tit it’s like, practically chest at that point, what’s a body,,, i also have a piece of gravel in my left knee from falling & refusing to let anyone take care of it in 2nd or grade, a scar on my left foot from doing dumb stunts as a 7 year old, and a nearly invisible scar beneath my right nostril from falling as a 2 year old ! im clumsy as Fuck

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?i want to work for a nonprofit that helps lgbtq+ teens! i don’t know exactly what that’s going to look like but it’s really important to me to help lgbtq+ youth who don’t have supportive families, and those who might be facing homelessness. i’m going to have a fairly generalist skillset when i graduate, so i don’t know exactly what role i’m going to play, but i know that i’m going to help kids that never got the unconditional love and support that they needed & deserved from family. i also am going to be a storyteller thru various mediums! written & multimedia & possibly podcasts. i’m working on that.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? i’d take away whatever current physical health thing i’m dealing with that i haven’t been able to get help for yet and that’s making me grow facial hair and have less energy & more apathy & doing a Lot (i think it’s PCOS and hormonal imbalances). it’s recent and it’s causing me a lot of troubles but other than that i’m so happy and so at peace with myself that i wouldn’t change anything about me, not my weight not my ADHD & depression not a Damn Thing. 

46. Are you reliable? yes!!! i’m  the kind of person that burns myself out showing up for others. if it’s not an important thing it sometimes slips my mind bc of my adhd but when it matters, i am always there. across time zones, even. if i give my word about something? i make it happen. im the reason they invented the phrase immovable object.

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?I wouldn’t change my past, and my future self probably wouldn’t, either. I’d just ask them to tell me about their happiness, I think. It would give me a tangible reason to keep working towards the dreams I have. 

48. Do you hold grudges?i’m a taurus. i don’t hold grudges over stupid things and i’m not petty for the most part and i don’t act like a dickhead when i have a grudge but it’s like, my dad missed the one and only choir concert i ever had when i was in the 10th grade for really stupid reasons when he said he’d be there, and that was in 2011, and it took me like 6 years to get to the point where i was completely past that. i wasn’t acting on the grudge but it was a grudge and it did affect like. how willing i was to trust my dad and ask him for things and how i felt about him for a really long time? so like. yeah. i hold grudges. i’m very willing to excuse people’s behavior up to a certain point but once a line is crossed someone has to work really hard to make up for the ways they’ve hurt me or loved ones of mine. my gf can usually talk me out of Forming grudges though bc she’s a virgo libra cusp and so good at being less intense than me w some situations.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?mammals with bird wings :c make the catwings book real.. cats whom can fly w soft lovely bird wings. i love cats and also flight

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? yes!!!! i’ve baked like box cakes obvi but last year for my gf’s birthday me & our best friend made a really cool coffee flavored alternative frosting cake for my gf & she really liked it & i’m like :’) 

64. What do you think about babies?i’ve been like........ yelling all night to @freckliephil about how much i want to have kids w my gf and how i can’t wait to be a mom. i think babies are very small and breakable and i’m not ready to have one right NOW at all but i am so, so excited to be a parent someday and to give a kid everything they need no matter what, like, babies are so cute and my cousin had a son this year and when i got to hold him for the first time i nearly cried thinking about being a mom someday. i’m cutting this short because i’m really, really emo abt babies right now but GOD. i want a baby. i want painting a nursery w my gf once we’re wives, and i want a rocking chair, and lullabies. i wanna watch the baby grow up to have me and my gf’s facial expressions and i can’t wait to see that baby grow into a person with likes and dislikes and an entire personality :c god. i just. i really, really love my gf and can’t wait to have a family with her. & we’re probably also going to foster but like! also. babies.

[marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer]

MTVS Epic Rewatch #168

BTVS 6x16 Hell’s Bells

(aka the Xander-and-Anya-were-having-it-way-too-easy-this-season-and-it-was-high-time-they-got-their-lives-ruined episode)

Stray thoughts

1) 

WILLOW: Buffy, it's hideous. Oh my god, Buffy. Look at its arms! BUFFY: I know. But it's my duty.

Why did Anya get them these awful dresses, though? That’s such a crappy cliché - the bride having awful bridesmaid dresses made because she’s the only one who can look beautiful at her wedding - and I hate that they had Anya do that. Also, notice that Buffy’s dress is slightly less awful, so I’m guessing Sarah pulled her weight to have it that way.

2) Yet another example of how people in Sunnydale are bound to believe anything in order to remain oblivious of the supernatural.

BUFFY: I just can't believe everyone bought that story about Anya's people being circus folk. Did you see the guy with the tentacles? What's he supposed to be? Inky the Squid Boy?

3) Why did they want these people at their wedding, though? 

WILLOW: And Xander's family. I haven't seen them that bad since my bat mitzvah. Ugh, did you see how much they drank? BUFFY: Kinda. Mr. Harris threw up in my purse

4) Of course, following Anya’s declaration of how that day was the happiest day of her life, we see the going-ons at the Harris’s household… and this is what we get a glimpse of…

His uncle Rory half-naked suggesting Xander should use Velcro in his cuffs.

His uncle Rory trying to make himself an Irish coffee (in the morning…) and then pretending to get electrocuted.

Xander’s father giving him a hard time because he’s not ready yet

Xander’s mom guilt-tripping him about her not getting to be in the pictures (why did she think that?)

Krelvin recalling how Xander’s father had compared him to his mother-in-law and then proceeded to hit him and insult his heritage

Xander’s father making fun of Anya’s whole family

Xander’s cousin Carol asking him to get her date with “Kevin” while wearing Xander’s cufflinks as earrings. 

I ask again, why did they want these people at their wedding? Except for Krelvin, he seemed like a cool dude.

5) I love how Buffy takes care of Xander and then shows how truly happy she is about him and Anya. 

BUFFY: Look at you. You look great, Mr. About-To-Get-Married. Glowing.Oh my god! Maybe you're pregnant!

XANDER: Maybe. I dunno. Maybe I'm just happy. Teary.

BUFFY: Oh! Good. Good teary. XANDER: Happy teary? Not frustrated with bow-tie teary? BUFFY: Yes. Happy. Happy for you. That makes me happy for me. You and Anya give me hope. It's like... you two are proof that there's light at the end of this very long, long, nasty tunnel.

6) Ugh these two flirtatious vixens!

7) Anya’s vows attempt #1

ANYA: 'I, Anya, promise to love you, to cherish you, to honor you, but not to obey you, of course, because that's anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something?  I do however entrust you with my heart. Take care of my heart, won't you please? Take care of it because it's all that I have. And, if you let me, I'll take care of your heart too. I'll protect it and tend to it, like a little stray.' Wait, no. 'Like a, a little mangy stray that needs a home.'

And as funny as each of her attempts were, there was always so much of her heart in them, which makes everything that happens afterwards so much more heartbreaking.

8) “It's just I'm so excited and I want to share it all with my best friend. I get to be with my best friend forever! Yay!” 

9) Why would D’Hoffryn attend Anya’s wedding, though? Don’t weddings go against everything he believes in, sort of?

10) My trash son being his usual trashy self… 

11) Let’s be real, Xander was unconsciously looking for someone to tell him  this and confirm his fears and doubts…

OLD MAN: You can't get married today. It's a huge mistake.

12) Xander’s dad is all like “I paid for this so shut up” or something, and I’m like ?????? He paid for the wedding? 1) Why? Really, why would he? He didn’t care for his son, he had Xander pay for rent the minute he turned 18 and have him move to the basement. 2) How? I always got the impression the Harris’s weren’t exactly can-afford-a-wedding wealthy...

13) So these are the glimpses we get of Anya’s and Xander’s “future”…

Xander has decided to follow his dad’s footsteps and become a drunk.

Anya is a cosmetics salesperson for some reason. What happened to the Magic Box?

Xander had broken his back trying to fight a battle alongside Buffy. Buffy died in said battle. She wasn’t brought back, apparently.

Anya thinks Buffy’s death ruining their lives. 

Anya owns a pink car.

Pretty early into their marriage, Anya cheated on Xander with a demon and got pregnant. They stayed together, and Xander raised the girl as his own.

Xander and Anya stop having sex after Buffy died, for some reason...

In spite of everything, they were married for 30 years.

It really does seem like this fake future is a mixture of Xander’s own fears about marriage, his insecurities and his misconceptions about who Anya is.

14) I both love and hate that these two started acting mature once they were broken up. She’s finally being honest and treating him with respect, and he’s acting out but he still shows he cares about her feelings… 

SPIKE: It's a happy occasion. You meet my friend?

BUFFY: No. Not yet. But she seems like a very nice attempt at making me jealous. SPIKE:  Is it working? BUFFY: A little. It doesn't change anything... but if you're wildly curious, yeah, it hurts. SPIKE: I'm sorry. Or, Good! You want us to go? BUFFY: No. No, I... you have every right to be here. I pretty much deserve... SPIKE: That's not true, you... God, this is hard. BUFFY: Yeah. SPIKE: I think we'll go. BUFFY: Go where? To your place? SPIKE: Yeah, I suppose. That was the idea. BUFFY: Yeah. SPIKE: Evil. BUFFY: Of course. SPIKE: But I won't. Or I...  I'll just go. Give 'em my best or whatever. The happy couple. BUFFY: I will. SPIKE: It's nice to watch you be happy. For them, even. I don't see it a lot. You, uh... you glow. BUFFY: That's because the dress is radioactive. I should... SPIKE: Yeah. But it hurts?

BUFFY: Yeah. SPIKE: Thanks.

BUFFY: You're welcome.

15) I love the callback to “Homecoming”…

WILLOW:  You're getting married. My little Xander. XANDER: All growed up. WILLOW: It's a good thing I realized I was gay, otherwise, hey, you, me and formal wear...

16) Anya’s vows attempt #2

'I, Anya, promise to cherish you...' Ew, no, not cherish. Uh, 'I promise to have sex with you whenever ... *I* want, and, pledge to be your friend, and your wife, and your confidant, and your sex poodle...'

17) I LOVE YOU BUFFY, YOU PRECIOUS UNICORN.

BUFFY: Uh, sorry about that. Um... there's just gonna be a little bit of a delay. ANYA: Why? What's wrong? BUFFY: Nothing! Nothing's wrong, it's just, um, it, the minister. He had, uh... to g ... and perform an emergency C-section. ANYA: A C-section?! 

BUFFY: Yeah! You know, he's, uh, not, not just a minister, he's also a, a doctor. You know, he's half-minister, half-doctor, he's a mini-tor. Not, of course, to be confused with a minotaur! Because he's all, you know, man, this doctor minister man, no bull parts whatsoever.

18) Anya’s vows attempts #3 

'I, Anya, want to marry you, Xander, because... I love you and I'll always love you. And... before I knew you, I was like a completely different person. Not even a person, really... and I had seen what love could do to people, and it was... hurt and sadness. Alone was better. And then, suddenly there was you, and... you knew me. You saw me, and it was this... thing. You make me feel safe and warm. So, I get it now. I finally get love, Xander. I really do.'

19) Buffy trying to stall the wedding is my favorite thing ever, okay?

And Clem being a supportive marshmallow…

20) Also, I low-key ship these two. 

21) These two are super horny amidst the whole family feud, love it.

22) It’s actually odd that there weren’t more people coming to get their revenge on Anya, don’t you think? 

DEMON: You did this. You brought this on. I've waited a long time for this, Anyanka. ANYA: Who are you? DEMON: Remember Chicago? South Side, 1914? Stewart Burns. Philanderer! You'd think you'd remember. I remember you. But then again, you ruined my life.

ANYA: You were a ... I punished you. DEMON: That's right. Some hussy I'd been taking around summons you, next thing I know, I look like this and I'm being tortured in another dimension. ANYA: I forgot. DEMON: Well, I didn't.

Also, this is a very interesting character moment for Anya. She feels almost ashamed she’d forgotten about him. For so long she had focused on exacting revenge on those she deemed deserved it and yet she had never paused to think of the ripple effect her acts had on those people. She had probably ruined thousands of lives, and they weren’t even an afterthought to her. And more importantly, did all of them truly deserve it? And who was she to decide they did?

23) And I’m always a sucker for Buffy ripping her skirt to fight!

24) So Xander comes back… 

And he helps save the day… 

But the damage was done. Well, it wasn’t “damage,” really. It was Xander owning up to how he really felt…

ANYA: So... we're ready now. Let's get married.

XANDER: I... I'm not. I'm not ready. I can't, An, I'm sorry.

ANYA: But it wasn't real. What he showed you, it wasn't real.

XANDER: I know it wasn't real. But it could be.

ANYA: What was it? Was it about me? 'Cause he wanted you to hate me, Xander.

XANDER: It wasn't you. It wasn't you I was hating. I had these thoughts, and ... fears before this. Maybe we just went too fast.

ANYA: Look, everybody has thoughts. It's natural, it doesn't mean that, that getting married is wrong.

XANDER: I know, I know...

ANYA: Look, you're just shaken up, okay? You just calm down and we'll start over, okay?

XANDER: We can't start over. If this is a mistake, it's forever, and... I don't want to hurt you. Not that way.: I'm sorry. I am so sorry.

And even though it was extremely bad timing to call off the wedding right before it took place, this might be one of the rare moments in which I 100% have Xander’s back. He wasn’t ready, and he knew it for a long time. I think he was hoping that by the time the wedding approached, he’d be ready. But that didn’t happen. I think a lot of it has to do with this line “It wasn’t you who I was hating.” More than anything, he was afraid he’d be his father’s son and become a lousy husband and a despicable human being. And I get why he wouldn’t want to be that person with Anya. He did love her, that much I’m sure of. And he took the getting married thing seriously. He knew he wouldn’t back away, no matter how ugly it got. So, yeah, bad timing. But right call.

25)  But.. this… wasn’t really gentlemanly of him, though… 

Leaving Anya to break the news to everyone all on her own after breaking her heart? Not cool…

26) And this whole scene is so sad and beautifully shot…

D'HOFFRYN: It's time you got back to what you do best ... don't you think?

[chickenstuffedwithmozzarella]

Holiii!! I saw the pic of Liam and Honey😍😍😍 Asdfahs. They are so cute! And also, i love Liam's eyes. It'a such a nice colour!! And i also saw the gifs!! I love that gif of Louis.  HE LOOKS SO SOFT. I could cry. And Harry😂😂😂 Its such a mood. I always flip people off like that. Jajajaja. AND THE GIF OF HARRY WITH THE PINK JACKET. 😍He is dancing funny and i love hiiim.  Oh, and i havent read that fic but i'll read it asap and then i'll tell you about it. Promise. Thanks for the rec💖 (1)

Hiiii, Love!!!! I’m so sorry it took me so long to answer! but yesterday I was busy, and when I came home my head hurt like a b*tch, 😖😖. Liam’s eyes very pretty, aren’t they? Everyone likes him better (poor honey). I always flip people like that too, jajaja, that’s why I needed a gif, and I found the best, jajajaja. I couldn’t resist. I’m already rereading that fic,😅. I love re reading things I read a long while ago, bc my English has improved a bit since I came to tumblr, and it’s like reading things for the first time again, so cool.

It wasnt hard being updated bcs OT was everywhere, but yeah. I always try to engage in my friend’s hobbies. & some of them do the same. One of my friends used to be a 1D fan before i met her, and though she is not longer in the fandom she tries to be updated. She sends me memes or things that remind her of 1d. She even watched a video of BG without me knowing/telling her about it. I dont deserver her. Ay, and last week she watched freddieismyqueen videos with me on a free period. I 💖 her (2)

HOW DID YOU FRIEND MANAGE TO QUITE?!?!?! Jajajajaja It feels imposible (not that I have tried…). And she sees things and isn’t intrigued about what is happening?? She should write a self help book,jajajaja. “How to suite one direction: the guide”,jajajaja. But she sounds cool and supportive of you, so keep her, jejeje.

Well, you just described me. Talking in public always end up in one of those two options. I have always wanted to do a road trip!!! You are totally invited of course. JAJAJAJA. Well, it just…happened? Our friend was having a very bad time and he was going through a lot of things and we didnt know how to cheer him up. And then one night we just starting watching a video of AuronPlay reading a fic, and he was happy for the first time in months. (3)And so my cousin said “what if we write him a fic?” And i said “omg, yes”. And thus was born. Its a crack fic. We just put in there his family, his biggest celebrity crush, our friends, ourselves and a couple of animals and started writing nonesense. He hasnt read anything yet, bcs we want to finish it first, and me and my cousin (and our siblings, bcs they wanted to help) only hang out alone sporadically. But we laugh a lot writing it. I hope he laughs too when he finally reads it. (4)

You, your sister and your cousins sound so cool. And your friends too. I’m gonna have to migrate and adopt you all, jajajaj. I’m sure your friend is gonna love it. It’s a recipe for success. Keep me updated when you show him and his reaction,please!!

“How does a gay look like?” Like someone with no toxic masculinity. But i see your point. Judging on looks is not cool. (And i dont usually do it. I watched their behaviour or their words. When someone doesnt ever use gender pronouns and just say “they” “parter” “somebody” im just👀👀👀 i see what u are doing). Yes yes. What you said makes sense. I understood. Dont worry. I have never heard that quote, but i think i could marry whoever wrote this. So much truth!! 😱 (6)

Tbh I never payed attention to that, :/ (heteronormative mind and all that). If I had, maybe I had known about a lot of my high school friends’ sexuality. Looking back, we were just a group of friends, boys a girls, nobody cared about boyfriends/girlfriends (we were friends from 12-16). Then we went our separate ways, and we lost touch. And now I see in Facebook that they are gays and lesbians, and I’m like… :/ we didn’t know much about those things back then. And I hope I didn’t make any comments who could offend/affect them. But it makes me so happy to see them being themselves and living with they’re boyfriends and girlfriends… 😊 I just wish I could have been a better friend back then 🤷🏻‍♀️. But now I pay attention to that. And I always try to show support in a non invasive way. And try to educate people about who they’re been homophobic, or make not appropriate comments… like there’s this boy (around 16) that likes to paint his nails. And I love everything to do with nails. And, at the shop, I comment on people’s nails (if I know them enough, lol). And I always try to say something nice to this guy. To normalize the fact that he has his nails painted (and no make a statement that I approve of it, if someone else is listening, so they don’t make rude comments around me). And then my friend’s sister is Lesbian. But their mother is so ancient-minded… like, my friend has a dit of fat, and she’s always making comment about how she should be skinnier bc she won’t ever find a husband 😒. And her sister is very thin. And once, she was working as cleaner in a /cuartel de la guardia civil(?)/. And their mother was always: hmmm, I hope she finds a good guy there, bc she’s never had a boyfriend. And I always thought: I wonder why, lol. Well, she finally came out to her parents, and while they don’t treat her different (which I don’t know if it’s good or no), they’re like “waiting” she changes her mind. And hoping she finds a boyfriend. Anyway, her mother is friends with my mom, and she comes to visit at the shop sometimes, and she always has a comment to make about what people do or don’t do. And I get so angry 😡. I’m always correcting her. But she doesn’t listen. And I feel sorry for my friend and her sister. So whenever I have the chance I saw her my support, and always talk about these things, lol. (I talk so much about lgbt+ things, that my family associates me with it, to the point that every time they see a rainbow or whatever they tell me: look look! And I just satisfied with it. At least they don’t make so much homophobic comments anymore 😒)

YOUR MOM IS AN ANTI? How? “Why would they fake a baby?” Thats a good question with awful answers. I miss RBB&SBB.😍 (I havent explained that to anybody, yet. But once while playing a game my cousins choose Rbb as his nickname so i choose Sbb and our friends started making questions and we where like? 1d things? Long story, leave it for another day? I’m glad they dont remember it bcs i wouldnt know how to explain that😂😂). Was your friend a fan of 1d too? (7)

Well, she isn’t a nasty anti, jajajja, but she doesn’t think they’re together. Not for nothing special, just that she thinks they would say it if they were together. And since they haven’t say it, they aren’t together. But I’ve shown her the famous Christmas pic, and she doesn’t Thing B was ever pregnant. And I show her pics of F to ask for an outsider opinion, and she doesn’t think the kid looks like Louis at all, lmao. So, I think if they ever come out, she wouldn’t care at all. Bahhh, I’ve talked about RBB/SBB with my friend sometimes, but it’s so bad of a thing, that we don’t come to a conclusion. She isn’t a fans, sadly. But she likes celeb gossip, and I like to talk, so… yesterday she came to visit/ to get her arms waxed (bc that’s my other unofficial job) and she ended up staying for 2 hours. Bc we had see each other briefly lately, couldn’t sit and talk properly in a while. And she always asks me about 1d, bc she knows I love to talk about it,jajaja. And I have a sideblog where I reblog things to show her. And well, yesterday we talked a little about BG, and I showed her the no-belly pic, and she was… 😳. And she thinks louis and Harry must be together, at least at some point, bc the way the touched wasn’t in a friendly way. She now has a boyfriend, and she kept saying: I’m not a very touchy person with my friends or my family, but when I’m with him I always want to touch him or kiss him, and that’s what those two were always doing. And I’m always: do you think that for real, or are you just saying it so I stop talking?? Jajjaja. And yes, she’s convinced they are/were together. She asked me if I think they’re still together, and I told her that now more than ever, but it’s a long story, so we should talk about it another time, bc lol, we were just talking about it for a couple of hours, and we both had things to do. So, we’ll keep talking another time.

Of course, I dont share that info with everybody, but I dont mind my friends knowing. I have this one friend that i bother everytime i get frustated bcs of a fic. I tell him the plot, and what is happening and i cry about it (and he laughs at me but at least he listens). Sometimes i make him choose which one should i read next when i cant decide. (9)

I almost did a fic reference yesterday talking with my friend, and I stopped myself midsentece, and laughed (I thought of you,jajaj) and she was so confused!! But she’s used to my weirdness, so we just laughed it way. And I kept talking, jajajajaj.

Girl, i have 6 dioptres😂😂 Thats what i have forbid myself from reading on the phone. No, i havent read that one, but its now on the list. I’ll tell you when i do! Though it make take a while :( (I understand you. Dont worry). (10)

😳 6?!!?! Please take care of your eyes!!! Stop reading… everything!! Jajaja. No, I’m kidding. I know about people who has 8… so you’re still ok,jajajaj. I have 1, but my ophthalmologist told me I’m very sensitive to change, bc I thought I had 27463 diopters, bc I saw so poorly 🙄🙄.

Yes, i also like IDGAF more than New Rules. They have overplayed that one. Have you heard Blow Your Mind? I love that one. It’s also a single so…i guess you have heard it? You’ll get amazing shots, i’m sure. Honey was sleeping on you? 😭😭😭😭 I love hiiim (11)

I listened today Room for 2 and Homesick, and I think I like them. I’ll have to listen this new one two. For me, to like a song, I have to heard /a lot/ (not as much as Despacito, please). It has to have a catchy tune. That’s why I think a like Carolina, or Woman, or Kiwi, and I don’t understand why people is so fidyfvbure about the lyrics, jajjaja.Honey is always sleeping on me. The other day Liam was sleeping between my legs, and Honey came and just laid on top of my poor limo. And I wanted to kill him, bc liam never comes to sleep with me. They’re so different… but I love them both.

Oh, my little sister. I just wanted to tell you that yesterday was her birthday. She almost cried when she saw that me and my older sister had brought her Flicker deluxe as a present. (We hadnt bought it yet. Dont judge us). She was freaking out just bcs of that and i was laughing so hard thinking that she’s gonna pass out when she sees the rainbow flag her friends have gotten her for Nialls show. And also another pair of Cds. She wont survive the show. Poor thing. But she was so happy 😍😍 (12)You start next week? Okay. I’ll ask again next wednseday. Have a nice daaaay!!

Not judging, you’re amazing sisters!! Awww, poor thing!! She will have an amazing time at Niall’s concert, for sure. And, yes, please, tell her to bring the flag. I’m so happy seeing how people are starting to bring rainbow flags to niall concerts too. And have you seeing that he has taken pics with rainbow flags?? He even brought one to the stage the other day!! It makes me inexplicably happy to say everything covered in rainbows. There was so much at Harry’s show too, my sister said it looked like a pride parade. Hey, Dunkirk it’s about to start khbkhdfbvkjdnfvkjndfv. But, have YOU SEEING THE NEW ROYAL BABY WAS NAMED AFTER LOUIS?????? AND HIS TWEET?!?!?  IM SCREAMED!!!! Dijffvjkbdded. Bye love. I have to feed my cats before the movie starts!!! Aaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!