#'just a reminder that while dragons can attend pride events they need to be making room for actual queer people' | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sunflowers-heart · 4 years ago

Text

October 23rd – Monster

13 Days of Spooky Writing Event

Pairing: Thranduil x Reader

Word count: 1,896

Warnings: Big sad, much emotion.

Author’s note: I really love Thranduil, okay?

During many years of your lone journey through the Middle Earth, you have heard many words describing the King of Mirkwood. Some of them revealed the hidden fear of the Elvenking, some included fascination and some said that he did not even exist in the first place, that he was a made up story for children, just like his whole kingdom. However, there was one term you could not so quickly forget, the one engraved in your memory for some peculiar reason—the one you repeated to yourself while crossing the borders of Mirkwood, wary of what you might encounter.

The rumour that the Elvenking was a heartless monster.

You were familiar with the infamous stories on how he paid no mind to those in need, how little did their lives mean to him, how his egoistic nature caused him to fight for what he believed was right only, how selfish was his attitude and how he considered his kin as above everyone else. Perhaps you would eventually believe in them all if you did not know better than to listen every rumour you hear along the way. Words spread faster than a diseases, every next one changed a little by the mouth they were spoken from and so, you wondered how much of a truth they actually contained.

Contrary to what you imagined to see, the Elvenking did not resemble any kind of monster in the slightest. His grace and pride was undeniable, his beauty outstanding and his voice deeply serene. The weight of his gaze upon you seemed to be enough to crash you to the ground but instead of that, you were invited to the feast as a guest. A storyteller, the one who could share the most recent news about the world outside of the kingdom.

He did not act like a monster when he shared his people’s food and wine with you, neither did he act like one when he was listening to you talking, lazy sight carefully picking out every single detail of your appearance. Firen was the only way he addressed you endlessly, no matter how many opportunities you took to remind him your real name.

You have lost the track of time soon after arriving to Mirkwood, all days melting together like one, the kingdom surrounding you so magical that you forgot about all the evil creeping outside. There was no flesh eating creatures under the magnificent roof with countless waterfalls flowing down the halls. There was no fear between the ancient pages of the books you were eventually allowed to look at. There was no tears during the evening feasts in the forests. There was no pain in dancing all night long in the pale starlight.

There was only calmness filling your soul, the steady rhythm of your beating heart and the utter peace of your soul where apparently nothing bad could reach you. Walking in a dream, you found yourself falling in love with the world you did not belong to and to your surprising notice, you could experience all of it simply because the Elvenking—Thranduil, as you learned—allowed you to.

Simply because his heart was not as cold as the rumours claimed it to be.

“Tell me about your ancestors, firen,” he ordered on one particularly warm day, when the first, vivid green leaves were poking their tips out from the thin branches. It was an early morning, the fog still not fading in the sunlight and it was an accident that you stumbled upon each other—the Elvenking attending his usual morning stroll and you, still not going to sleep after a truly interesting lecture you managed to find in the library, written in a language you understood.

“About my family?” you wondered. “With all due respect, I’m not sure if I can interest you with this kind of story, My Lord. They are no royalty.”

“If I wanted to listen about royalty, I would simply take a look upon the letters my father left me.” His voice was haughty yet soft, like a fresh rime. “I was wondering what kind of people could beget a woman willing to travel alone through the foreign lands.”

“Are you thinking about lunatics or heroes?”

He did not smile at your little joke, but something in his expression changed. Perhaps your words did amuse him, which might be the reason why he apparently enjoyed your company, or maybe it was just the small bullfinch sitting on a nearby branch which caught his attention.

“I suppose we are to find out about that,” he barely whispered, not taking his gaze off the bird.

And so, you started talking, carefully choosing what to say next so you would not bore him with this not so exciting story. Living for as long as all Elves did, you would be surprised if he thought of any part of your speech as even remotely interesting. He has seen it all and much more, already, he has witnessed war, loss and love, he had an adult son and once a wife also. Your history, no matter how much could it mean to you, would soon be nothing but a blink of an eye for him, just as fleeting the seasons were.

You were a whisper on the wind, made to be heard by his ear and eventually fade out.

“Give me your hand.” The command caused you to stop talking in a middle of the sentence and look at the Elvenking confused. A quick motion of his arm caused an expensive robes to move gracefully before he showed what he expected from you. “Like that.”

You did as you were told, slowly outstretching your arm and only then noticing how the bullfinch tilted its head to the right and jumped few times on the branch before opening wings and swiftly landing at Thranduil’s open palm. It was a breath-taking view to observe, the trust of the small creature completely unexpected. You stood in the same position, listening as the Elvenking started talking, while gently stroking the bird’s head with his index finger.

“There is beauty in simplicity, something a race of Men often tends to forget about. Ironically, since they are the ones who should cherish it the most, the gentle passing of time. I find your admiration to save as many moments as possible as equally pointless and fascinating. To know that one day your whole existence will turn into ashes brings out the most primal instincts—but only the wise can focus on the beauty of a fleeting moment. A single memory.”

Slowly, he reached to you and you held your breath when the bird cautiously jumped from his hand onto yours, it’s tiny feet gently tickling your skin and the smile appearing on your lips.

“Not many of the race of Men can find a beauty in evanescence.” Thranduil continued, watching you staring at the bullfinch as if it was the first time in your whole life that you experienced such a moment. “It is a rare ability among those who do not feel the impact of time and even rarer in those who are the most prone to it.”

The bird on your hand with its adorably red belly was fascinating enough that you did not notice the way the Elvenking looked at you, aware that he was going to savour this single image in his memory for many, many thousands of years in the future.

Thranduil was not a monster, although he understood why many were ready to address him as such. He was aware of his doings, of his regrets and faults but he also knew how much does it take to carry the weight of the necessity. Men were foolish, easily led by their own emotions which changed as quickly as the wind, and it was their doom they always brought upon themselves. Perspective makes history look different, the deeds appearing in a light nobody would expect them to centuries ago and it was the ability their kind lacked.

How could they possibly understand what was wise and what not, if they never truly lived to face the consequences of their own actions? If they had no idea what would their descendants have to endure?

The human he decided to invite to his kingdom was no less blind than the rest of her kind, nevertheless he found her presence and stories amusing. It was different; her point of view, the news she brought from the lands far on the east, and he found himself roaming through the halls of his kingdom with head full of the images of her face and the sound of her voice. She talked about the beauty of the lake she stayed by one night in a way which made him feel like a fool. As if it was him, who was blind for this whole time and could not see the world in the same way she did.

Ironically, it was his eyes which were used to seeing more, looking through darkness and illusions.

There was a reflection of the setting sun in her eyes when she spoke about it, a picture so clear that he could almost touch it, as if he was witnessing it for the first time in his whole life. There was a melody in her tone when she was repeating the legends she heard along the way and for some reason he grew fond of it, the excitement being something he has forgotten long ago. There were not many things which could still surprise him, after all, there was nothing to look for, nothing to long for.

Except, perhaps, for the gentle softness of her lips when he imagined how would they feel against his. Would it be different and refreshing, just like her stories were? Would he still be able to enjoy it? Would the kiss bring out new palette of unnecessary emotions from her fragile heart?

He was never a monster, he told himself. The real monsters were out there, in the world, ready to slay the weaker, the ones of her kind. He would be selfish if he did not offer his help to those in need, if he did not provide the food supplies and wine for people from the Laketown who needed it the most after the terrifying dragon attack. The great serpent was the worst monster walking upon this lands and suddenly Thranduil felt grudge for everyone who dared to compare him to the vicious beast.

The Elvenking was never heartless, not in the moment when he was trying to protect his people from the mindless slaughter the Dwarves suffered in Erebor dozens of years ago, nor when he was ready to fight until his last breath to reclaim the gems of his wife—the last physical memory of her that he could still own. But especially not when he was kneeling on the cold, hard ground on the battlefield, holding the body of the human storyteller to his chest and listening to the silence where once her heartbeat was, the echo of a sword slicing the air where he was supposed to stand still loud in his mind, just like her desperate scream and a pitiful attempt to shield him.

Thranduil was never a monster but he knew better than anyone that he was, instead, a fool.

#13daysofspookywritingevent #13 days of spooky writing event #thranduil x reader #thranduil #the hobbit

59 notes · View notes

talpup · 4 years ago

Text

Summary: The war between the Dragons and Griffons ended 233 years ago, and both races right along with it.

Or so it was believed. There are three individuals that will soon change that.

Kai is the last of the Dragons and he seeks to take what he sees as his rightful place and rule over all of Oblvi. Meanwhile, Shouta, the last Sphinx, wants nothing more than to do his job; keep the peace and and teach the young Fourth’s to hopefully avoid the mistakes of their ancestors. And Teris, a Foundling who is just trying to understand and survive in this strange new world that is supposedly her own.

All three have their own wants and desires, but Kai’s plans, Teris’ existence, and Shouta's past mean that none of them may get what they want.

***while they are capable of beastly forms, most of the time they keep to their human form

This fic is rated explicit and has warnings of sex, violence, and other possible triggers. For a full list of story tags please check the fics AO3 (link to that at the top of my tumblrs homepage).

13.1

The door opened before they were fully up the walk.

Hizashi’s eyes narrowed wondering if it was coincidence or if someone had been watching from within.

“Good evening.” Hari extended an ushering arm of entry. “You can leave your coats with Shin.”

So not a coincidence of someone happening to exit at the same time, Hizashi thought slipping off his jacket. Stop it, he scolded himself. They were expecting us. Of course they’d be watching and waiting for us. There’s nothing nefarious about it. You’re just being protective cause of what Teris went through today, and still on edge from what you saw; though you shouldn’t be. Kai already explained why he did that.

The disturbing image of Kai choking Hari replayed in his mind. Hizashi shook the memory away, wishing he had heard what Kai and Hari had said yet also glad he hadn’t.

He glanced at Hari. The Arepyiai didn’t seem timid or afraid. And though it had only been a few hours, Hari’s voice wasn’t raw and graveled from being choked. There was no bruising along his neck. Though thanks to Hizashi being half High Elf, his quick sharp eyes caught sight of puncture marks beneath Hari’s high collar where Kai’s talons had pierced the Fourth’s skin.

Trying to brighten his mood and Teris’, Hizashi tossed his jacket to the other man and theatrically asked Teris. “Why didn’t you tell me! I’m so getting on Oboro for skipping the really important stuff. I mean, I don’t care what fight Shouta would've put up, you can bet I would’ve pestered and worn him down till he caved and let us hire a maid or butler if you or Oboro had told me we could have ‘em.”

Teris stared, wide eyed.

Shin straightened and tensed, but to his credit said nothing.

Clearing his throat, Hari stiffly corrected. “Shin is a member of Kai’s Ilca. Not house staff.”

“Oh…” Hizashi's mouth hung in a perfect ‘o’ for a beat. “Sor--”

“If you will follow me. Kai and Master Ryuu are waiting.” It was rude to cut off a guest; but when the guest was a loud, lowly Hybrid, Hari didn’t much care and doubted Kai would take issue with it.

Turning with a sniff, Hari led the way. He would never dare question Kai’s reasoning or orders, but couldn’t help but wonder at Hizashi being invited. The Hybrid’s mere presence in their Ilca dorm was a disgusting insult. And to think the High Elf-Banshee Hybrid would have the pleasure of dinning at Kai’s table when Joi and Hari himself, two of Kai’s most trusted followers, rarely experienced such an honor.

“Sorry.” Hizashi mouthed to Teris as they followed Hari.

Teris smirked, battling a laugh. It wasn’t as if she could scold Hizashi when she had thought the same the first time she’d been in Kai’s Ilca dorm.

Hizashi brightened at Teris’ smile.

After getting back from hanging out with Oboro, he had found Shouta grading papers in the great room of their Ilca dorm. The Sphinx had said Teris had gone up to her chambers and wasn’t to be disturbed; nor was Hizashi to mention her interview or inspection unless she brought it up first.

Worried as Hizashi had been for Teris, Shouta's show of protectiveness had excited him. He knew Shouta and Teris would make a great couple if they but stopped arguing long enough to admit their feelings for each other. And for a few hours Hizashi had thought that their confession of love could be on the horizon. That today’s events would be a turning point for them.

But then Teris had come down and she and Shouta had had yet another argument. This one about her going to Kai’s for dinner. While Hizashi did his best to avoid getting involved in their disagreements, he had spoken up this time saying he would watch over Teris while they were there.

That had silenced both Shouta and Teris. And while the look of betrayal hidden within Shouta’s ireful expression had furthered Hizashi's sense of guilt; what had stung was the flicker of upset that had crossed Teris’ face. Was she not happy he was going? Did she not think him friend enough to hang out with Kai?

Seated in a plush chair in the sitting room adjacent to the formal dining, Kai smiled lightly. He smelled Teris’ wonderful scent before he even saw her. And after what happened today, it took everything in Kai’s power to control his dragon instincts and reclaim what was his.

As it was, a low barely audible growl sounded from his chest. Someone, he still didn’t know who, had inspected his chosen mate. It was bad enough that the Council had interviewed her; but to know someone had looked upon and touched what was his made him want to kill.

Ryuu didn’t need to see or smell Teris to know she had arrived; not when he could visibly see the changes in Kai. Though so subtle no one else would likely notice, for Ryuu who had raised the young Dragon, Kai’s deep savoring breath may as well have been a shouted declaration of love.

Ryuu didn’t question Kai’s sudden dark tension. The Tengu wasn’t anymore pleased about Teris’ interview and inspection than he had been about Kai’s several years ago. He wondered if Kai would’ve felt the same anger and protectiveness if he knew Teris was a Griffon. Probably not as Kai’s interest in her was still in its early stages. But Ryuu hoped that would change. That Kai would be able to look passed his pride and hate, and continue to love Teris anyway. He hoped that not just for Kai’s happiness, but for Kai and Teris’ continued existence. Cause even if the last Dragon and Griffon got along and were mated, it would still be a long hard fight to convince the Council to let them live when it was finally discovered that Teris was a griffon.

Hari stopped just inside the double doorway while Teris and Hizashi fully entered.

Getting to his feet, Kai went to Teris. His hand and inner wrist ran down her arm, scenting her. “I’m glad you’re here. Aizawa gave you no further trouble about coming?” He asked, keen gold eyes watching her for hidden tells.

Argument with Shouta still fresh, Teris bristled at the reminder. She stepped away from Kai’s touch annoyed with him. Glad as she was to have Hizashi attend with her, it bothered that Kai hadn’t mentioned his plan to include her friend this evening. Then again Kai hadn’t invited her, instead telling her she was joining him for dinner the afternoon of the dinner.

You’re being uncharitable, Teris thought. Everyone’s been on edge about members of the Council being here. Now that she knew Shouta and Kai weren’t just under the Council’s watch but continued to live only by the Council's good grace… Well, it didn’t excuse Kai deciding things for her; but given the level of her own distress, Teris couldn’t blame Kai for wanting support and friendly company.

Honestly, she doubted she would've gotten through the interview and inspection without Shouta’s strong, calming presence. The entire thing had brought back memories of when the scarred man with blue flames had questioned and tormented her. No doubt the ordeal had brought up memories of Shouta’s own interview and inspection. It certainly couldn’t have been easy for him to sit beside her during the interview then stand outside the room during her inspection. The fact that he likely struggled made her all the more grateful he had stayed with her and sought to divert her fearful focus.

And how did you thank him, her mind asked. By arguing and leaving him alone with his brought up memories. Shouta didn’t need or want me there, Teris argued with herself, ignoring the stab of guilt. He just didn’t want me to come here cause he’s controlling and hates Kai, she thought, trying to make herself feel better.

Pushing aside her warring feelings, Teris gave Kai an apologetic smile for rebuffing his touch and kissed his cheek. “You didn’t tell me you had invited Hizashi.”

Hizashi looked between the two, his earlier hurt easing. She hadn’t known he’d been invited? Well that explained her moment of silent surprise. But it still didn’t explain her brief beat of upset.

Kai softened at her chaste, tender kiss but looked disapprovingly at her when she didn’t answer his question and instead seemed to question him. “I did it for you. Are you not glad to have him here?”

“Of course I am.” Teris reached out and gripped Hizashi’s hand, hoping he didn’t think she didn’t want him there.

Kai hid his frown by turning to Hari. He didn’t like the idea of Teris touching anyone but him. But her willing touching a filthy Hybrid… He would have to see she had a bath before they got into his bed tonight. Then again he would've had her bathe with him before getting into bed either way.

“Inform Tabe he can start serving.” Kai told, dismissing Hari.

After a brief introduction between Hizashi and Ryuu, they moved to the dining room.

The space gave Hizashi pause. It was even more formal than what he’d seen of the place thus far. While not cluttered, the entire dorm made him nervous and afraid to touch anything. Kind of like the formal front sitting room at his grandmother’s that no one was allowed to sit in unless company came over.

Hizashi swallowed thickly at the four place settings of fine china and numerous utensils that sat atop the large table capable of seating well more than four.

Kai moved to a chair left of the head of the table and pulled it out. “Teris.”

“Thank you.” Teris sat, eyes skimming the table setting. She looked up a Kai frowning at the placement.

Kai pulled out the chair at the head of the table, to Teris’ right, and waited for his other two guests to take their places.

Still at the rooms entrance, Hizashi couldn’t help but notice he would be sitting alone at the middle of the long table.

Ryuu noticed it too, certain that Kai had ordered the seating arrangement for more than just honoring him and wanting Teris close. After all Kai was a Dragon and the dragon species had been obsessed with purity in all things; seeing purity itself as one of the greatest forms of wealth and power, two other things dragons had been consumed with having.

Knowing how distastefully difficult inviting Hizashi must’ve been for Kai, Ryuu was too pleased to be upset. The fact that Kai had willingly invited the Hybrid at all filling Ryuu with hope that Kai could move passed his aversion and change. But just because Kai had done well in inviting Hizashi didn’t mean Kai shouldn’t be pushed to grow further and act better.

The tinkling of silverware and clink of crystal against china drew everyone's attention.

From the opposite head of the table Ryuu gathered his place setting. “This table is too big for four to dine and comfortably converse so far apart.” The Tengu smiled kindly at a displeased Kai. “I am honored by your show of respect in placing me here and thank you for your esteem. But it has been a long, tiring day and I would greatly appreciate it if you humored an old Fourth in an friendly, less formal dinner.”

13.2

Shouta flew threw the bright moonlit sky, a sea of darkened treetops rushing beneath. It was nice to get out and stretch his wings just for the sake of it. Despite the fight he had put up at the time, he was grateful to Nedzu for ordering him off of patrol for today and tomorrow.

Shouta hadn’t realized how exhausting the day had been until he instinctually started getting ready for patrol.

When he finally remembered he had two days off, he’d fallen back in a chair and fell asleep. He had woken with a start sometime later, the nightmare slow to fade.

Even now as he flew, Shouta could still hear the yowls and growls of his pack being slaughtered as he was hidden and turned to stone. The cries of his dying pack mixed with those of the angry Council who shouted for his head and said he shouldn’t be alive.

Shouta shook his head, mane whipping around him, and flew faster as he could out fly the echoing memories.

13.3

“You know I still don’t get why the Boss wants a copy of my report to the Council's Leader.” Hawks said, fingers holding onto the envelope he was handing over.

Toga pulled, trying to take the envelope. “If you—don’t know—then maybe he—doesn’t want you knowing. Ha!” She proudly held the envelope freed from Hawks before her.

“Do you know why he wants my report on the female Foundlings inspection?” Hawks asked.

Toga deflated, seeing the envelope was magically sealed. She frowned at Hawks. “No.”

“It’s only the Boss already knows what the female Founding is.” Hawks said.

“Yeah. So.” Toga inspected the envelope in the moonlight, trying to find a way around its magical sealing.

“So,” Hawks drew out the word, “why would he want a copy of my report on a practically fruitless inspection that left me with nothing but a handful of traits that crossed off one, maybe two possible beasts she could be from the list of thousands?”

“Hundreds of thousands.” Toga’s distracted voice chirped.

“No. Not hundreds of thousands.” Hawks corrected. “Hundreds of thousands is the rough number of beasts there are. The reason I’m here is cause she’s an ancient beast which means my looking at a possibility of thousands is probably too broad, but I like to be thorough.”

Toga lowered the envelope and looked at Hawks. “You’re here cause the Boss said. Not cause the stupid Council wants you to figure out what that female Founding is.”

“I’m here for both.” Hawks said.

Toga frowned. She didn’t trust Hawks. The Anzu worked for the Council and spied for them. His allegiance clearly given at a price, there was no guarantee their double agent won’t turn on them and become a triple agent.

“Do you know what Teris is?” Hawks asked.

“No. And I wouldn’t tell you if I did.” Toga stuffed the envelope in her coat.

Hawks sighed. He missed dealing with Dabi. Sure Toga had been more fun at the start. His meetings with her a much needed reprieve from meeting with Dabi who always kept him on his toes. But Dabi’s watchful and conniving ways had helped keep him sharp; something he direly need if he was to protect the Fourth's of this world.

“So when’s our next meeting?” Hawks asked, dully.

“You’ll hear from the Boss. Big things are coming so when or who you’ll met at the next exchange.”

“What big things?”

Toga shrugged. “Don’t know. So long as I get to have fun I don’t care either.” Her eyes focused, piercing his. “You shouldn’t care neither, Spy.”

Hawks opened his mouth to say that it was because he was a spy that knowing what was going was so important; but a large shadow flew overhead staying his words.

Hawks and Toga looked up. They were meeting a short ways outside of Traverseen Hall’s property line. With Traverseen Hall’s guarding Shedu on one side and patrolling Ilca on the other, most would've thought this area the safest, most protected place in the region. It wasn’t. In actuality it was a dead zone and regular meeting ground for illegal activity because the Shedu of Traverseen Hall were too focused on guarding the many buildings and acres within the property line, and the Ilca were too busy patrolling the surrounding towns, villages, and roadways. So why then had someone just flown over them?

Hawks looked back at Toga to tell her to go but she had already turned into a fox and was running off.

Though tempted to leave himself, Hawks waited. The guilty ran; and if the flyer was a member of the Ilca and doubled back, he certainly didn’t want to appear guilty.

Seeing a bit of color beneath the canopy of trees, Shouta turned in the air and doubled back. He expected to find the color moving in attempt of escape; but it hadn’t.

His eyes narrowed. Surely whoever was down there had seen him pass overhead.

Shouta growled. The trees were too dense for him to break through the canopy in his true form without taking the risk of breaking a branch or tree and harming whoever was down there.

With practiced efficiency, Shouta’s wings folded back. He plummeted, forelegs outstretched. As soon as his paws touched the top most leaves, he change into his human form and flipped in the air. Sturdy work boots punched through the canopy. His head ducked, bent arms coming up to shield his face from clawing branches.

Through the dense branches, Shouta gripped his piece. The coil of fabric around his neck came to life. Several loops shot out, wrapping around thick branches.

Shouta swung through the air, his capture weapon slowing his fall.

Hawks watched Shouta land several paces from him. What Hawks assumed was a carefully chosen distant that would allowed the Sphinx to react should he be attacked.

“Impressive. You sure know how to make an entrance.”

Shouta’s piece unwound from the branches and settle loosely around his neck. “Hawks. What are you doing out here?”

“I could ask you the same. Nedzu gave you two nights off.”

Shouta stared unblinking waiting for answer.

“Just needed some air.” Hawks lied.

Shouta’s eyes skimmed the area, unfazed that Hawks knew of Nedzu’s order. He was use to the Council keeping tabs on him. It didn’t surprise that Hawks, in the employ of the Council, would take the time to learn his schedule.

“This area’s not a safe place to get some air.” Shouta told.

“Really? Why’s that?”

Hands slipping into his pockets, Shouta’s eyes returned to Hawks. “Regular meeting spot for criminals.”

Hawks blinked, head pulling back in feigned surprise. “And here I figured this was the safest place outside of Traverseen Hall, what with the guarding Shedu and Ilca constantly leaving and returning from patrol.”

“A common misconception. Traverseen Hall’s properly line is a mile and three-quarters northeast. For your safety I suggest you return. It has the same fresh air as here without the risk.” Shouta turned to go.

“If I may, I’d like to ask you some questions about Teris.” Hawks called after him.

Shouta paused, shoulders tensing. Schooling his features, he turned back. “Sure. Feel free to make an appointment at with dispatch or the schools main office.”

Smart ass, Hawks thought. He smiled. “Or you could just let me ask them now.”

“I’ll keep an eye out for your appointment. Let’s hope I’ll have I free moment to meet with you before you and the Council Elder’s leave tomorrow afternoon.”

Hawks’ smile widened. “You hadn’t heard? Well, I suppose you wouldn’t’ve. I doubt Director Nedzu’s been informed yet.” His wings ruffled, feathers puffing. “I won’t be leaving tomorrow afternoon. I’m staying on indefinitely. So I’ll have plenty of time to in more of Traverseen Hall’s air, and make that appointment with you.”

13.4

Dinner had been a long, loud affair which had made Kai feel like a third wheel at his own table. What he had planned as an evening of the two most important people in his life getting to know each other and bonding over him had turned into Teris, Ryuu, and Hizashi telling jokes and sharing stories while he sat there and listened.

Kai wasn’t one to drink in excess but he certainly had his fair share of drink tonight. Lucky for him his dragon system burned through alcohol quickly or he’d be drunk. Instead, he was all too sober as the evening drew to a close and he led his guests to the door.

“This was such a pleasant evening. Thank you for hosting us, Kai, my boy.” Ryuu smiled, taking his coat from Hari.

Kai inclined his head. “It was my pleasure.”

“I didn’t expect to have so much fun.” Hizashi put in.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” Kai forced a smile. “I’d be happy to have you over again.”

Hari’s eyes snapped to Kai. He couldn’t be serious. Surely having the Hybrid over once was enough to appease Kai’s chosen mate. Hari still didn’t understand why Kai was going through all this to win Teris’ affection. The woman should be honored to have Kai’s favor. The only reason Hari could fathom Teris wasn’t falling over, proclaiming herself unworthy was because she was a know nothing Foundling. Even so, it was an insult.

Teris caught the slight tension in Kai’s expression. She felt bad that he’d been left out at his own dinner party. It wasn’t like they’d purposefully excluded him from the conversation. In fact she, Ryuu, and Hizashi had continually tried to get him to participate. Kai was simply too proper to comfortably engage in raucous conversation.

“Maybe next time we can have you over at our place.” Hizashi invited.

“Or, we could meet somewhere else.” Kai said, thinking he wouldn’t be caught dead entering Aizawa’s Ilca dorm.

“Sure! That sounds great.” Hizashi beamed, oblivious to Kai’s reasoning. He took his jacket and looked to Teris. “We best get home.” He laughed. After only three months in this new world it was amazing how their dorm truly felt like home.

Kai tensed, looking from Hizashi to Teris. Upon his order Hari hadn’t brought her coat since he assumed she would stay a while after Ryuu and Hizashi left.

Teris saw Kai’s look. She knew him well enough to know he wanted her to stay a bit. Tired as she was, she’d rather avoid going home and seeing Shouta. She wasn’t up for another argument or the guilt that would come for having left him alone when he likely needed company and distraction.

“I’m— ah… —gonna stay a bit longer.” Teris told Hizashi.

Ryuu smiled at her and Kai. They would make a fine, powerful couple. With luck they would forge a true and lasting peace that healed the wounds their species had inflicted with the war. The Council said that’s what they were doing; but as a Council member himself, Ryuu could safely say they were nothing more than a group of cruel, paranoid authoritarians who formulated hypocritical laws in effort to force their brand of peace and fairness.

Well aware of his own faults, Ryuu had no trouble admitting to himself that he was part of the problem. He couldn’t count the number of times he had used, twisted, or purposed a law to benefit him or those he favored. Wrong as it was, it was how the Council's system worked. But just because he knew it was wrong and went along with it, didn’t mean he couldn’t hope for something better.

Hizashi blinked, ears lowering. He might've come to like Kai this night; but he still thought Teris and Shouta belonged together. Shouta would be at their dorm waiting for them. If he came back without Teris, Shouta's feelings would be hurt. It would drive Shouta and Teris into further arguments.

“Al—alright. If that’s what you want.” Hizashi said.

“I won’t be long. An hour or two at most.” Teris said.

“Well, be safe getting back.” Hizashi hugged her.

Even though the magical barriers and guarding Shedu made Traverseen Hall as safe a place could be, Teris hugged him back. “You too.”

Kai’s skin grew itchy just watching them. Filthy Hybrid. If Teris was always this affectionate with Hizashi, he should have her disinfected every time she entered his dorm. He couldn’t wait till they were companions so he could tell her to cease unnecessary contact with all hybrids. Or better yet skip being companions and be mated so he could order her to stay by his side or in their chambers so she’d never have to see or speak to anyone else again.

Ryuu stepped before Kai. “I’m leaving in the afternoon and probably won’t see you again.”

Kai nodded, respect and care for the Fourth that raised him welling in his chest.

“I hope it won’t be so long before we see each other again.”

“I feel the same.” Kai said.

“I take it you’ll continue to write.”

“Of course.”

Ryuu smiled. He wanted to hug the young Dragon that was more like a son than the sons he had lost in the war. But out of respect for Kai, he held back. “I’m proud of you, my boy.”

Kai’s head dipped. “Thank you. sir. That means a lot coming from you.”

13.5

Returned from his flight, Shouta entered the Ilca dorm. The place was dark and quiet. Too quiet; at least compared to the new normal of having Hizashi and Teris living there. He should've been happy. His dorm was empty and peaceful, the way it should've been. The way it had been before Nedzu had guilted and all but forced him to accept two Foundling’s as part of his Ilca. But he wasn’t happy or at peace. The dorm felt too empty and quiet.

Disgusted with himself, Shouta closed the front door and plopped on a couch in the great room. Shouldn’t Hizashi and Teris have been back by now? Just how long did a dinner party last?

You’d know if you’d ever been to one, Shouta sardonically thought laying his head back against the cushion.

Of course he’d gone to all sorts of parties. ...okay, maybe not all sorts. But Nemuri and Oboro had begged and bugged enough to make him attend several functions. Granted he usually arrived late and never stayed long enough to see them end, so he had no clue just how long these things lasted.

He sighed. He should use this time to work on specialized lesson plans for 1-A but after the long, trying day he just wanted to sit and relax. He had wanted to sit and relax with his Ilca. But Kai had ruined that; just as he and his kind before him had ruined everything in Shouta’s life.

The front door opened.

Shouta fought the urge to sit up and turn, forcing himself to stay put.

“Back already.” Shouta’s disinterested voice rumbled.

“Oh! Hey, Shou. What are you doin’ sittin’ in the dark?” Hizashi flicked on a light and closed the door.

Shouta watched him slip of his jacket as he came around the sofa to sit in the opposite one. “Where’s Teris?”

“Teris? Um…” Hizashi rubbed the flat of his chin. “She, uh… She decided to stay a bit longer.” At Shouta's darkening expression, he hurriedly added. “Just for an hour or two.”

“Is this what you call watching over her?”

“She-- I--”

Shouta sat up. “You said you would watch over her.

“I--”

The Sphinx got to his feet and made of his office. “Thank you, Yamada. It’s nice to know what I can trust my people with. I’ll remember this when need someone officially looked after.”

Hizashi stomped a foot and stood. “That’s not fair!”

Shouta looked back, eyes widened slightly in surprise. Hard as he was on Hizashi and Teris, Hizashi had never spoken back or raised his voice in disagreement.

Hizashi frowned. “You’re just mad cause you didn’t want Teris going to Kai’s and now she’s staying a few more hours and alone with him. Well that’s not my fault. What was I suppose to do? Argue with her? That’s your thing. Maybe if you were nicer and told her how you feel she would've stayed here instead of going to Kai’s, who for your information might be kinda posh but is a really nice and charming guy I don’t get why you hate him. Though I suppose you just decided you hated him without giving him a chance the way you do with practically everything.”

Shouta stared.

Hizashi gasped, slapping a hand over his mouth. “I’m sorry, Shouta. I didn’t mean all that.”

Shouta ignored the muffled apology. “What feelings do you think I need to tell Teris about?”

Hizashi blinked, hand lowering slowly.

“I have no feelings for Teris. She’s--” my Ilca, Shouta thought carefully not wanting any mistakes, “--my Ilca, same as you. There are no feelings passed that.”

“But…”

Shouta pinned Hizashi with a boring gaze.

“...right. Never mind. Sorry.”

Shouta gave a curt nod. “I got lessons to plan which need to be done tonight since I, unfortunately have a surprise for you tomorrow.”

“A surprise!”

Shouta winced at Hizashi's loud piercing voice. What had he been thinking? Was he a glutton for punishment? He had to have been possessed when he returned home and thought it too quiet.

“What’s the surprise!” Hizashi enthused, volume barely a decibel lower.

“Nothing if you don’t quiet down and leave me alone.”

Hizashi's head pulled back, ears lowering.

Shouta sighed. Hizashi may have been wrong about Kai. He was totally wrong in thinking he had feelings for Teris. But Hizashi wasn’t wrong about his needing to be nicer. It was just so much easier to be gruff and rude. It scared people away and kept him safe from growing attached and getting hurt. He had lost his pack. And though he didn’t remember their names and faces; he remembered the joy, love, and warmth. He still suffered the anguish of their loss. He didn’t want to chance getting close to anyone, afraid to have them ripped away like that again. He didn’t think he could survive it.

But like it or not, he had accepted Hizashi and Teris as his Ilca. It was wrong to always be so sharp and distant with them. He had to find a way to be nice and still guard himself.

“I’ll tell you when Teris gets back if you’re still up.” Shouta said, tone mildly softer.

“Okay.” Hizashi beamed.

13.6

Teris exited the washroom and pulled the towel Kai had carefully wrapped around her hair, wet locks falling free.

Kai grimaced as droplets rained down on her robe and the expensive area rug beneath their feet. It wasn’t the cost that bothered but the mess. His chosen mate needed to learn to take more care.

“Here, let me.” Kai held out a hand.

Teris pushed her wet hair back and balled up the towel. “It’s fine. I’m use to letting my hair dry on its own.”

“Then you could do with some pampering.”

“Kai. There’s no need to fuss.”

“You’re the one making a fuss, Beautiful. Now hand me the towel and sit down and turn around.”

Teris rolled her eyes and sighed but did as she was told.

Kai collected her hair. “There. Was that so hard?”

“Yes.” Teris played. She could feel Kai’s stare and turned, looking at him over her shoulder.

Kai raised a brow.

“No.” Teris admitted fighting a smile. She faced forward.

Kai frowned down at the top of her head. He wasn’t adverse to playful banter. In fact he had grown insanely jealous of the amount of inside jokes and laughter Teris had shared with Hizashi this evening. He wanted to have that with her. He wanted to be the only one she had that with. But first he had to be sure Teris knew he would always be the one in control. That she would respect and obey him in all things. Only when he was sure of that could he allow himself to be fully free with her. His cause was simply too important to let it be otherwise.

To others it might seem like harmless playful banter. But given his precarious position and aims, it could expose him and make him look weak; and weakness could mean death. Too many Fourth's were counting on him. The pride and continuation of dragon kind depended on him. His life and wants were not his own.

He might have picked Teris to be his mate. But there was still so much he didn’t know about her. He didn’t even know what species of Fourth she was, other than that she was a pack beast of ancient heritage. Despite his personal desires to form a connection as free and open as he had witness between her and Hizashi tonight, for the sake of his cause and followers he couldn’t do so until he was certain of her complete obedience and fealty.

“I didn’t realize you and Hizashi were so close.” Kai said, after a moment of towel drying her hair.

Teris shrugged. “Not sure if it’s cause of what we went though together after being found and brought here. But we kind of latched onto one another and became fast friends. He’s like a brother.”

“I’m glad you have him.” Kai said, surprise to find he actually meant it to a certain degree.

It couldn’t have been easy for Teris to be brought to Oblvi and learn another world existed. That the beasts, spirits, sprites, and demons she’d previously thought as mythical were real and she was one of them. Given all that, it was no wonder she was so close to Hizashi. No doubt her coming here would’ve been a lot harder on her if she’d gone through it alone. For that Kai was grateful for Hizashi.

Thinking of how she was a pack beast, Kai asked. “Did you have anyone close like that before you were found and brought here?”

Teris looked down, unconsciously picking at a hang nail.

“It couldn’t have been easy. Being discovered and taken from them.” Kai prodded.

Teris’ eyes unfocused. The memory of exiting a movie theater with her friends invading her mind like tidal wave.

The theater had been dark and deserted, a midnight showing the only time they could all meet up to drool over their favorite Hollywood hottie on the big screen. For those few hours she had forgotten about the scarred man who had been following her for nearly a week. That was until she had exited the theater to find him waiting outside.

The man had grinned, blue flames igniting from the mans hands. Being the first one to exit, Teris spun and shoved her friends back inside. With superhuman strength that she had later thought was from adrenaline before being brought here Teris bent the steel door frame locking the door in place. With her friends safely locked inside, she turned to run; but it had been too late. The scarred man was on her.

“Teris?”

The memory faded. Teris swallowed. Taking in a steadying breath she apologized. “Sorry. Can we talk about something else?”

“Sure.”

“Ryuu’s less scary than I first thought.” Not wanting to mention her interview for both their sakes, Teris looked back at him. “Thank you for giving me a chance to get to know him.”

“So you forgive me for planning tonight's dinner?”

“I wasn’t upset at you planning dinner. I was--” Not wanting to argue, she stopped herself and began again. “I’m glad we were able to be here to divert your thoughts from whatever today rehashed.”

Kai caressed her cheek. He had long ago bottled and buried the childhood fear he had over his interview and inspection; instead using the memory to spur his hate for the Council and fuel his drive for his cause. But it warmed his heart that she thought she had cared for him and was glad for it. “I did it for you.”

“Well I certainly needed the diversion, so thank you.”

Kai tenderly kissed her. Teris tugged at the back of his neck, deepening the kiss. Kai groaned. He wanted her on her back, robe off, now; but her hair was still a wet mess.

Kai straightened to his full height, breaking the kiss. “Face front and let me finish.”

“If this is your way of making me wait to further entice, it’s annoying and working.” Teris said as she turned her back to Kai.

Kai chuckled. “Nice to know you’re so easy for me, Beautiful.”

“Ha!” Teris huffed.

Done drying, Kai proceeded to brush her hair.

Teris’ eyes slipped closed. There was no clock in Kai’s rooms. At least not the three rooms she’d been in. But that didn’t matter.

She hadn’t lied to Hizashi when she said she’d only be an hour or two. At least she hadn’t intended to lie. At the time she had wanted to go home and sleep in her bed. But the soft domestic comfort she found with Kai, coupled with the haunting memories today’s events churned up, had her wanting to stay the night. She wondered if Kai would be alright with that.

Afraid to ask should he say no, she decided not to mention her desire to stay; instead choosing to wait and see if he asked her to leave.

Her scalp tingled, skin prickling. “Mmm… That feels good.”

Kai continued working as he bent, head coming beside hers. “See. I know what’s good for you.”

“You sure do.” Teris murmured, revealing in the bristles gentle rake over her scalp. “Don’t ever let me doubt you again.”

Kai smiled slightly, taking in her profile. “I won’t. I promise.”

13.7

Shigaraki entered the abandoned warehouse, the closing door doing nothing to stifle the stench of humans. Damn, he hated this world with a vengeance. Eyes adjusted to the darkness, he squinted, blue flames igniting on the towering loft.

“It’s common courtesy to knock.” Dousing his blue flames, the Salamander stepped off the loft. Long coat tails flapped behind his falling form. Heavy boots hit the damp concrete floor with a resounding bang. Dabi straightened. “Then again, you strike me as too ill-bred to know what the word courtesy means.”

“I will strike you for real if you don’t shut up.” Shigaraki said.

“I’d like to see you try, freeze-dried.”

Shigaraki’s eyelids fluttered, crimson eyes rolling. This was why he had stayed away from Dabi during their time here. He couldn’t fathom why his Master wanted the Salamander alive. Far as Shigaraki could tell Dabi was good for nothing other than getting on peoples nerves. Sure Dabi had been the one to find and capture Teris. But Dabi had lost her. And while Dabi’s flames were hotter and deadlier than most Salamander's; his wasn’t immune to his own fires heat.

“By this time tomorrow we’ll be back home and free these forced meetings.” Shigaraki told himself and Dabi.

“I’m thinking of staying on.” Dabi said.

“What do you mean?”

“Here. In earths realm.”

“You can’t be serious.” Shigaraki said, incredulous.

“Why not? Humans are so much fun.”

“Humans are disgusting, weak vile creatures who smell.”

“I know.” The scarred Salamander smiled, wickedly. “They’re so weak and smell so good.”

“Stay if you want. See if I care.” Shigaraki spat.

“You mean you’re not gonna try and reason with me, or say how my life belongs to the Master of All and I need to obey his order to return?”

“If our time together here has taught me anything, it’s that there’s no reasoning with you.” Shigaraki paused a beat, daggered eyes stabbing through Dabi. “And your life does belong to the Master. So if you want to forfeit it by disobeying, so much the better.”

“Well you suddenly became a whole lot less fun.” Dabi complained. “I’m glad we’re going home tomorrow.”

13.8

Teris slowly stalked through the forest in search of her prey. She caught sight of tail flicking behind a tree and charged. Her laughter resounded through the woods ruining the surprise attack.

Black wings spread from behind the tree trunk. In a flash of dabble grey and black fur, and whoosh of air her prey took to the sky with an echoing laugh.

Teris followed, chasing her new friend.

Hide and seek forgotten, a game of tag begun in its place. They flew and ran through the forest all afternoon. Swooping passed watchful guards. Racing around chiding adults. It was the best time Teris had ever had in her short life, and she never wanted it to end.

The sun was dipping low when a voice called for her. “Teris. It’s time to go.”

Teris skidded to a halt, the chasing boy running into her. She looked back at her friend then turned to her father. “Can’t we stay a bit longer, Papa?”

Standing with her new friends parents, her father shook his head. “I’m afraid not, Chickadee. Say your goodbyes.”

Teris took to the air with her father and their guards. She looked back at the mass of rock caves that was her friends home, watching him grow smaller the further she got.

“Face front, Teris. Always be looking forward.” Her father told.

With reluctance, Teris turned away facing forward. “Will I see and play with him again?”

A purring growl resonated in her father’s chest. “I hope so, my dear. For all our sakes, I hope so.”

The dream changed from forgotten memory to a rather forgotten nightmare.

“I hope for your sake you remember, little bird.”

“Remember what!” Teris cried, cowering away from the scarred mans blue flames. “I don’t know what you want. Please! Just tell me what you want. I’ll do anything. Say, anything. Please. Please. Just tell me what to say.”

“It doesn’t work that way, lion cub. If I knew these things, I wouldn’t need you, now would I.”

Teris trembled despite the searing heat. The man was going to kill her if he got what he wanted. At the rate things were going, he was going to kill her either way. How she had healed from the blue fires, let alone survived them was a wonder.

“Remember, Teris. It’s bad enough your very existence will rip apart the feeble peace our new overlords have made. If you don’t remember there will be war. You’ll be to blame for millions of deaths. Towns and cities will crumble and burn. Blood with stain the ground and flow in stream and sea. Do you really want to be the cause of so much death? Do you want to be what ends our world? Remember!”

Teris threw her arms over her head and pulled at her hair. “No!”

Kai jolted awake, face smacked by something. His fighting instinct died in the space of a rapid heartbeat. Teris laid naked beside him, restless and mumbling in her sleep. Sometime during the night she had shifted out of his arms; but that wasn’t what bothered him at the moment. No. It was the way her face was pinched in fear and pain. Her sweet lips pressed between her teeth biting them raw. Hands tangled in her hair, roughly pulling.

Kai firmly grasped her hands, staying their tortuous tug. “Teris.”

She moaned in anguish.

“Teris, you’re dreaming. Wake-up, Sweetheart.”

Teris’ eyes snapped open. She pushed against the person in front of her, trying to back away.

Kai’s arm wrapped around her, holding her fast. “It’s me. You’re safe.”

Her eyes cleared of the nightmares fog. “Kai.” She clasped his shoulders, needing something solid and strong to anchor to.

Kai’s arm tightened around her, the other smoothing her hair. “It’s okay. I got you. It was just a dream. You’re safe, here with me.”

Teris buried her face in his chest, fighting oncoming tears. She had woken-up alone in her chambers numerous times from nightmares about the scarred man. Each time she had broken down crying. But her pride wouldn’t allow her to do so with Kai. Even if it did, she still would've held back. Kai was stronger and just as proud as she was. Tears would likely make him uncomfortable and be a sign of weakness.

“You’re shivering. I’ll start a fire.” Kai propped up in bed.

Teris’ head jerked up, eyes wild. “No fire!”

At the same time as her plea, Kai’s amber eyes glowed. He blew out a puff of orange flames in the direction of the fireplace. The fireball flew across the room and struck a pile of wood set in the hearth.

Kai turned back to her. “I wasn’t going to leave your side.”

Teris’ trembling died down. It wasn’t blue fire. She wasn’t the scarred mans captive. She was free, and safe with Kai. Kai would never let anyone hurt her.

“I’m sorry I woke you.”

“Hey.” Kai’s hand cupped her face, attempting to lift it. “Look at me.” He commanded when she fought against him.

Teris slowly lifted her head.

“If you’re ever upset, distressed, or in trouble I want you to come to me. I don’t care what’s going on or what time it is, if I’m asleep or in a meeting. If I’m away on mission one of my Ilca will find me while other watches over you.”

“Kai--”

His hand gripped the back of her neck. “No matter what it is, you are to come to me. Understand?”

“Kai, I--”

“Do you understand?” Kai pressed, hand tightening a fraction.

Her eyes searched his. He was so handsome, gold eyes shimmering in the warm dancing firelight. He’s flames were nothing like Dabi’s cold, consuming fire. She could bask in his hold and comfort forever. But one thing she couldn’t do was say she understood. She was simply to proud and independent to agree to something like that.

She kissed him, letting her lips and tongue tell of her appreciation despite her refusal to accept.

Kai returned her hungry kiss. He knew full well what she was doing but couldn’t deny his quickly hardening cock. Not when her hot, naked body grooved against his. He would let it go for now. But the conversation wasn’t over.

“Let me take care of you.” Kai murmured against her lips.

“Kai…” For a moment she thought he was continuing to press the matter.

Kai rolled her onto her back, heated kisses moving to her neck. “Lay back and relax. Let me take care of you, Beautiful.”

Teris sucked in a stuttering breath, back arching herself up against him.

Kai breathed in her scent, nose gliding up her pulse point. “Still so eager and needy. And after I gave you how many orgasms this night? How many do I think I can give you this time?”

Teris’ hips rolled against his. “Kai. Please.”

“Patience, my Sweet.”

Teris mewled, lashes fluttering.

Kai’s lips pulled along the line of her jaw, trailing open mouthed kisses down her chest. “I’m going to take such good care of you.”

Her head lifted as he got to her stomach, realization dawning.

Kai’s honeyed eyes shined up at her over the expanse of her body. “Don’t worry, Gorgeous. I’ll give you my cock soon enough. But first, I’m going to enjoy a midnight snack.”

Next chapter is the Fall Harvest Moon Festival. Or, as someone on here called it, the Orgey Festival. lol

***This fic will have a LOT more world building than my others. Please feel free to comment or send me an ask if you have any questions.

Thank you to those who have left hearts. And a special thank you to those who have left comments and/or reblogged. They really mean a lot.

Special thank you to @inorganicone2230 who knows of my love for the mythic and encouraged me to start this fic without stressing about the other two I’ve got going. Your friendship means the world to me.

#aizawa shouta #kai chisaki #yamada hizashi #Hari Kurono #yandere #bnha #lost song

14 notes · View notes

tdpholidayexchange · 5 years ago

Text

(the war is over) and we are beginning

Here is @wordswithdragons gift to @sunflowercandie! Summary: Janai doesn't know much of peace. Neither does Amaya. But maybe, with each other's help, they could learn.

It's a breezy summer day in Lux Aurea when Janai realizes that constant military checkups are no longer necessary. It'd been one of her most rigorous duties as a General — armour, soldiers, patrols, bunk inspection and keeping the forges lit and weapons hot — so important, in fact, it had taken time before her sister had trusted her to oversee it alone.

The war has been over for six months now. With Katolis and Duren the two kingdoms most aligned with the Peace Effort, Janai had felt safe in ordering most of her troops to come back and help Lux Aurea rebuild. Others had stayed at the Breach to help reopen it. The young king of Katolis forges ahead a new world of peace, the brave Moonshadow girl captain of the new Dragonguard with her mage by her side.

Khessa's monument and markers of all those who fell to the Dark Mage's conquest finally finished and gleaming under the eternal sun of Lux Aurea.

Free time is not something Janai is accustomed to. For the past thirty-five years, if she wasn't fighting in the war or training then she was thinking about doing so. She doesn't know what to fill it with, beyond letters. Letters to the other elven leaders (Moonshadow settlements are particularly difficult to find) as Queen Zubeia has asked for her help in negotiating peace on this side of the border. Letters to the Breach, to General... to Amaya.

Something simmers low and warm and light in her chest, at the thought of Amaya. Janai isn't quite sure why — even if she speculates, suspects, dreads, what the truth may be — but if she's being perfectly honest, she tries not to think about it as much as possible. She is busy and has other things to focus on. Or at least, she used to.

Amaya is easy to think of. Easy to smile at, even if it's just upon receiving a letter. The other woman keeps her notified of the goings on at the Breach, the restoration and building. Of letters Janai should be expecting from Amaya's nephew, Ezran, and some of his political squabbles. Moments in the Pentarchy when it doesn't hurt to have the Sunfire Queen throw her weight the tiniest bit more behind Katolis as a firm reminder to Evenere, Neolandia, and Del Bar that neither of their kingdoms are to be trifled with too heavily.

The young king of Katolis is a sweet boy, Janai knows, his older brother of similar calibre. Amaya is lucky to have them and they are lucky to have Amaya.

It's been six months since her sister—the last of her family—passed and it is hardly any easier.

A headache, or maybe grief, threatens to overtake her, as she stands on one of the Inner Sanctum's many balconies overlooking her golden city. She needs a distraction of some kind. Something productive. She wonders if Amaya has been struggling, when her duties die down for the day. Neither of them know much of peace and the younger generation like her nephews had not lived long enough to truly know a future with only war, before hope inspired them to step toward another path.

Perhaps it is time for her to find a new one too, beyond being queen.

"Kazi."

The translator is in Lux Aurea's high library when Janai approaches them from behind. They startle and straighten up, wheeling around. "Your Radiance," they greet, bowing and saluting, "my apologies, I did not hear—"

"Yes," Janai cuts them off. Then becomes awkward. She's used to giving commands as a general, about war, not as queen, about people nearly as much. And she does want this to be a request. She knows that Kazi is busy, especially as more humans and elves must merge the language breach between their peoples. Kazi has been hard at work contributing to Queen Aanya's project. "That is rather the point."

Kazi's eyebrows rise behind their circular spectacles. "Your Radiance?"

"Your..." Garlaf, why can Janai only remember the foolish name Kazi had given it, instead of its proper one? "Finguistics," she settles, gritting her teeth. "How does it work?"

Kazi blinks. They take a tiny step forward. "You wish to learn Katolian Sign Language?"

"I..." Janai snaps her mouth shut. She's won battles. She's won a war. She should not be foolish and... hesitant, about this. She's being silly. "Yes. It seems like a productive use of time."

"Of course, Your Radiance," Kazi says. Then pauses. "Er, would you like to begin right now?"

Janai smooths herself out internally. "Ideally," she says, "but we can re-commune if I have interrupted a portion of your, ah, project."

"I was looking to take a break soon anyway," Kazi replies with a slight smile. "We may begin now if you wish."

Something in her shoulders ease. This conversation was never a battle—at least not with Kazi, but with herself and her pride, perhaps—and she's won it, now. "Yes. That would be my preference."

Kazi fetches a scroll and then comes back to her by the windows and they each take a seat in a chair. Kazi flips open the book and she sees diagrams inside. "For you to practice on your own," they explain. "It will take time to learn."

Janai supposes she has nothing but time now. "That is alright," she relents.

"You are not, by any chance, seeing the General soon, are you?" Kazi asks.

Janai starts. "General?"

"The human. Amaya."

"No," Janai says, a tad shortly. Maybe even sharply. "Why?"

"No reason," Kazi says quickly, holding up their hands. "It will just be nice that you will be able to communicate, the next time she is in Lux Aurea."

Janai settles. That warm feeling in her chest is back, but this time it's comforting rather than constricting. "Yes," she relents, easing. "I suppose it will."

It's been a long time since Amaya was able to go a party. She thinks, idly, that the last one she may have attended good and proper—away from Breach barracks and at the castle, for a party on this scale was a celebration for Ezran's birth. It's fitting, then, that this next one is Ezran's celebration of the one year anniversary of the Last Battle. A year of peace, he says.

Amaya just wishes she knew what to do with it.

Other than, perhaps, staring at Janai. he Sunfire queen is in attendance, as a show of political goodwill, she supposes, and looks stunning in her high collared gown of gold. It's sleek with sharp edges, leaving her arms bare, and matches the rigid lines of her markings perfectly. A few of her delegates are with her, and Janai doesn't smile often, but when she does, she outshines the sun.

Amaya wishes too that she could be poetic more in person than just in her head. Because she and Janai are friends, she knows. You don't go through everything that they had—trust and battle and loss—without becoming friends of some sort. They held hands in front of the Dragon Queen. They've exchanged letters, snippets of their personal lives amid political dealings. Favourite dishes and friends. Nor is this the first time they've seen each other since the end of the war. She'd been pleasantly surprised a few months ago, when Janai had visited the Breach for a checkup, at her fluidity with Katolian sign language. She'd seen them both Wandering through whatever peace is, neither of them well suited for it.

But Amaya has always been used to taking the first step, anyway.

So she marches over, purpose astride her steps, blue gown swishing around her until she reaches Janai. The queen looks up, pleasant surprise flashing in her eyes. "General," she signs. Her few delegates disperse and Amaya tries not to read too much into it. If anything, relative privacy will make this easier.

Amaya inclines her head, smiling, and then signing quickly before she holds out her her hand. "Would you like to dance?"

Janai fumbles, then signs, "I... am not much of a dancer."

It makes sense, Amaya thinks. Only Moon magic seems to rely much on dancing, and the Sunfire elves were always so military minded. All the more reason for a bit of fun. Janai is always especially pretty when she smiles. Amaya keeps her hand outstretched, beckoning her closer with a flick of her fingers. Playful, a little flirty. Reminiscent of the gesture they each did to one another, at the outpost battle what feels like a lifetime ago, even if it's only a year and few weeks.

They're both so changed now, and maybe not changed enough.

Janai hesitates and then takes her hand. Amaya holds it tight and guides her into a waltz. The music is a marriage of strings, lutes and violins mostly, with some flutes. It's pretty—almost as pretty as the woman in her arms, Amaya thinks. They both laugh when they catch sight of Ezran giggling and dancing with Bait, the glow toad being gently swayed, and Callum and Rayla dancing better than Amaya has ever seen her nephew manage, with his two left feet.

Amaya enjoys dancing to an extent. When the music is soft a little slow, she sees other couples talking, but knows that's not possible for her. It's a little annoying sometimes, but she's used to it.

And looking at Janai, who meets her gaze, eyes warm like firelight, she thinks she doesn't mind at all. Just looking is enough.

Janai squeezes her hands once the dance is over. "Thank you, General."

Part of Amaya wants to ask for one more, mostly to see if Janai would let her have it, but she's also aware of the political implications at an event like this, with elven leaders and diplomats from the Pentarchy here in equal measure. One dance is innocent. Two is noticeable. And three indicates courtship, typically.

She and Janai are friends, Amaya knows. But she isn't sure if they're more. And if the answer is no, she isn't sure she wants to find out, and let the fire in her chest die. At least, not yet.

So Amaya lets go (and she doesn't).

Dear Janai, she reads in the General's tidy scrawl, one crisp autumn afternoon.

Callum has his sight set on the Sun Arcanum next and is requesting to stay in Lux Aurea for the next few months while he looks to forge a connection. I would feel best if he stayed at your palace, as Rayla will be unable to be by his side the whole time, and while his Sky and Moon magic are fierce, I know that the elves of Lux Aurea are some of the most well trained in the world. If some took issue to him being there, it may be worrisome.

I wish—and trust—for you to look after him in some capacity while he is there. I am sorry in advance if he gets into trouble on account of his curiosity. As his aunt, I can assure you it is an occupational hazard.

Yours, Amaya

So that is how Janai finds herself housing the Prince of Katolis in her palace. At sixteen he's still skinny and bright and curious, but Janai can see Amaya in him. The gentle slope of his smile and mischievous streak. His daring, too, and bravery. He explains to her one night over dinner that he was never much of a swordfighter, but somehow Janai is not surprised. He seems like his aunt, in that way too: a shield. A protector and defender ever more than an attacker.

"My aunt really likes you," Callum says on his last night in Lux Aurea. They're sitting out together on one of the balconies. She's grown fond of the kid. Sparred with him once in the courtyard with her sunforge blade. Steered him away from the Purification or the Light in his hopes of connecting to the Sun primal. In turn, he helped her learn even more sign language and dropped some hints about his aunt—favourite flower, that sort of thing—that Janai definitely did not commit to memory, not at all.

Janai itches to ask how. Then finds herself a little perturbed at a boy less than half her age seemingly trying to give her relationship advice. "I know I was scared to put things out in the open with Rayla," he continues, smiling a little at the mention of his girlfriend. "So she ended up making the first move, and even then I still messed up, but... It all worked out okay." He catches Janai's eye. "When something feels right, you should try to trust it. It can't hurt to try."

He slips off to bed soon after, leaving her rather flabberghasted. Janai bows her head as she sits under the stars, night slow and short in the golden city.

The boy may have a point, she begrudgingly admits. But what to do with it?

Callum is heading to the Breach in the morning to visit his aunt, before furthering to Katolis to see his brother. He'll double back with his wings to make his way back to Rayla in Xadia, she knows. Flying is faster than almost any type of travel and he is talented at it.

So Janai pens a letter and hands it to him in the morning. "For your aunt," she says, and he takes it with a kind hearted grin.

She's nervous while she waits the next few days, knowing it will take a little while for Amaya to open it, longer for her reply to arrive. Nervous because Janai knows what Amaya will found written on it, when she does.

Come to Lux Aurea. Please.

Amaya does. She shows up in her General's outfit—old habits die hard—and with news of her kingdom. Soren, the slightly daft but well meaning boy they'd fought in battle with, looks out for Ezran as well as Amaya could have hoped. Callum passed on his merry way through the restored Breach and will be going back to Xadia in a week.

Janai only processes about half of all that Amaya says, though, because her brain fails to function exactly right when the general scoops her up in a bear hug upon greeting. Just when Janai thinks she knows all there is to know about heat, Amaya comes and proves her wrong.

"And how are you?" Amaya asks, fingers flexing as they walk through the golden courtyards. Janai is glad they are not discussing the twin-tailed inferno-tooth tiger in the room yet. Why did you ask me to come? and Why did you? in equal measure.

They pass under Khessa's monument and Janai's gaze drifts. "I am well," she says, glad that Amaya cannot hear the sudden tightness in her voice. What would her sister think of this? Of Janai hesitantly courting a human? She knows what Khessa would think. She'd dismiss it outright, call her a fool. Forbade Amaya from standing where she is right now, where she very much deserves to be, because Janai wants her to be.

Wants her to be here with her.

Amaya's grip is gentle when she takes her hand for a brief squeeze, before she lets go. "Come on," she signs, lips curling. "Show me around. I did not get to see much of the city my first time here."

Janai rolls her eyes in good nature. "That is because you were a prisoner," she says, smiling.

"Of course," Amaya says, cheekily, but Janai is not about to deny her request.

She shows her the balconies and courtyards, the great waterfalls outside of the Inner Sanctum as a day trip and they have a picnic beside the rushing blue. She shows her the throne room proper, hears the slight sigh of relief Amaya emits when she sees the Light is no longer there (not only because the Dark Mage had stolen it, but also because Janai has not had the heart to replace it; it was never one of her favourite practices).

Finally, they come across the Royal Tapestry Hall. Janai explains her family tree as they walk along the tapestries of gold and brown and red, lingering on her grandmother and her sister near the end.

"We have a similar place in Katolis," Amaya explains when Janai looks at her. "Each royal family has a portrait made, and there is the Valley of Graves. That is where my sister rests."

Janai turns more fully to face her. Amaya has mentioned her sister before—older by a few years, like Khessa; felled in battle, although Janai doesn't know the details; someone Amaya misses every day—but never in anything but letters. Janai purses her lips. "Does it get easier?" she asks.

"Define easy," Amaya nearly jokes.

Janai's lips twitch. "I suppose it is like peace and war," she muses, mostly to leave Amaya more to her thoughts, if she wishes to be. "It has been over a year now and I still struggle with it."

"Better to struggle with peace than with war," Amaya says wisely and Janai nods to give her a point. Amaya looks up at the tapestry of Khessa. "Was she a good queen?"

"Define good." That does make Amaya smile now, even as Janai sobers. "My sister was," she elaborates, looking up at the tapestry. "But she was also cruel. She could see the worth in humans." Janai looks at Amaya. "She could not see the insurmountable worth in you."

Pink stains Amaya's cheeks, but for the first time, their held gaze feels steady. Like they both know exactly what is being communicated, and it is both exactly what they want. "Thank you," Amaya says. "Your trust in those days—over Viren, over your troops—meant much to me."

Janai wants to take her hand, but she has a feeling they're not done, yet.

Amaya turns away from the tapestry and Janai follows as they walk down the hall. "My sister was always far more suited for political life than I was, even if we were both warriors," she explains.

"From what I've heard of your sister from you and your nephews, she was a warrior, same as you," Janai says. "With honour."

"She was. And it suited each of us. I was already a top general before she married the king. I was very glad it wasn't me," she says, smiling. "Obvious reasons notwithstanding, as Harrow was not my type, but... I never wanted to be queen," Amaya admits.

"I hope in peacetimes you are not as opposed," Janai says, signing before she can lose her nerve. She watches Amaya's expression, the general caught off guard, before the gears grind behind her beautiful eyes, and comprehension breaks over her face, then, soft and bright as the dawn.

Amaya smiles the way she did years ago, when Janai took her hand in the Dragon Queen's cave. "I suppose not," she says, and then takes Janai's hand again. This time they lace their fingers through, fingers fitting together like when Amaya took her hand to save her life.

They still don't feel finished, now. It feels like a beginning.

Janai doesn't plan on ever letting go.

#tdp exchange #janaya #tdp amaya #tdp janai #tdp kazi

91 notes · View notes

thestraggletag · 5 years ago

Text

Public Affairs, a Starbucks Series Fic

Summary: Nick and Belle’s relationship is still fresh and new and they both agree the best course of action is keep it private, at least for a while. And Nick is completely fine with that. Totally.

Set a few months after Addiction.

Anon prompted: starbucks prompt: gold sees a colleague of belle taking light office flirting too far

Rating: PG (brief mentions of sex)

Nick hadn’t much minded that Belle was dedicating a lot of her waking hours to her new role as Mallory Ficent’s PA. It was a position to die for (as well as a possible cause of death according to the rumour mill) and Belle had worked hard during her internship to get it. In the interest of avoiding any future misunderstanding she’d disclosed their relationship with her employer. To her credit Mal was of the strong opinion that Belle was her own woman and that who she dated mattered not as long as she was capable of separating business from pleasure. The few times they’d seen each other in public she’d given him a passing withering stare, but nothing more.

Even so he always more than welcomed whatever time alone they could squirrel away for themselves, and it so happened that Belle had texted him about one such opening. A whole weekend to themselves starting Friday afternoon after a business event at Uni Global, one he was also attending. They would discreetly leave together and head to his penthouse for a weekend of old movies, decadent food and drink and unrealistic amounts of sex.

He had made all the necessary preparations. He’d purchased some gelatto from Grom- Gianduia and Fiordilatte, Belle’s favourites, and Tiramisú for him- had added a few promising movies to his Netflix list, had stocked up on eggs and smoked salmon for their breakfast and had acquired a vast array of undergarments and nightgowns from La Perla for when he inevitably lost his patience with Belle’s underthings in the heat of the moment.

The event itself was more of a networking affair than anything else, and it required little of his attention. He was at a stage in life where people wanted to make his acquaintance and not the other way around. His job was to stand and seem approachable or not depending on who was trying to have a word with him. It wasn’t a complete waste of time; hands were shook, vague promises were made and interesting information was exchanged, but nothing that required all of his attention. Which meant, of course, that every now and then his eyes could scan the room and rest upon Mal’s hard-working PA, demurely dressed in a grey Valentino fit-and-flare dress she’d found on sale at Bergdorf Goodman. It was plain but it fit her well and she’d paired it with a red belt and shoes for a little bit of flair. As a PA a lot of her clothes were supposed to be understated, but Mal did not mind if she spiced it up a bit. Nick wagered she liked it. Belle’s backbone was, without a doubt, one of the most attractive parts of her.

She was flitting about the room, making sure everything went as seamlessly as possible, and checking in on Mal every now and then, no doubt ready to estrincate her from mediocre company the moment the older woman gave her some sort of prearranged sign. He often did the same himself. Fidgeting with his pocket square brought Mary Margaret running over with a vague reference to “something that required his immediate attention” every time. Woman had the eyes of a hawk, never missed the signal, which is probably one of the main reasons why he kept her around and paid her so well.

He kept his distance, content with admiring her from afar as she checked in with the catering staff. Every now and then she’d smile his way and that was enough for him. They had agreed that they wouldn’t seek each other out. They weren’t about to hide their relationship but there was no need to advertise it either. A smooth, slow transition into the public eye seemed best.

He frowned when he got a glimpse of Keith Nott, Mal’s Junior VP of Accounting, leaning over a little too much in front of Belle, pointing at the pomegranate pin above her left breast before actually extending a meaty hand to touch it. He had gifted it to her, a souvenir from his two-day trip to Granada. He had bought a lot of things as a way to cope with missing her, and though she hadn’t accepted some of his more extravagant purchases she’d fallen in love with the pomegranate pin at first sight. It irked him to see the buck’s meaty, uncoordinated hands touching it almost as much as it infuriated him to see any parts of Mr Nott anywhere near Belle.

He’d seen him circling her before, like an ungainly vulture. But he’d let it slide because the idiot had at least minded his manners. But as the event had progressed that had become less and less the case. Mr Nott was a new legacy hire, as it were, the firstborn son of one of the big shareholders under Mal. His title was just that, and his main function was to network and schmooze, because the Dragonlady had made it clear there would be no growth opportunities for him within the company. But being young and new it seemed he had gotten carried away with the complimentary champagne going around, a rookie mistake. He would almost feel sorry for him is his new lack of inhibitions hadn’t led him to corner Mal’s PA near the sweets table, using his ridiculously tall stature to loom over her in an almost threatening manner.

They had agreed to keep a low profile, he reminded himself as he strolled over, his grip on the gold handle of his cane tightening when he saw fucking Keith curl a lock of Belle’s hair around his fingers and pull, the gesture likely meant to be playful and suggesting but looking rather painful as he pulled a little hard when Belle tried to take a step back. He bet the lad was not drunk enough to have missed the fact that his would-be conquest was unlikely to wish to call attention to herself, lest she risk the event, so she could hardly tell him off or raise a fuss. Neither could she leave the premises before Mal gave her the okay to do so. Captured prey, as it were. The preference of pampered, spoiled predators. Lucky for Nick he was the big cat around, and no one messed with him or his.

“Everything looks wonderful, sweetheart.”

There was no need to raise his voice, or make a spectacle. He kept his tone soft, an accented burr that usually meant people bent over backwards to try and catch everything he said, lest they inconvenience him. He slipped his free arm around Belle’s waist and kissed the side of her head, catching the faint orange blossom smell of her perfume. She was wearing the scent he liked best on her, the demi-bespoke Fleur Narcotique they had picked together last fall.

“Thanks darling.”

She relaxed against him, warm and soft and completely at ease and he breathed a sigh of relief. It had been a gamble, to be so open without having discussed it, but he’d read her unease well. And, after all, it was all inevitable. Might as well get people used to it sooner rather than later. And it was amusing, really, to see the welp lose all his ill-deserved cockiness and turn white as a sheet. Nick didn’t need to glance towards were Nott Senior was to know the old man was mimicking his son in complexion. Funny how the man hadn’t even batted an eye when it looked like all his young progeny was doing was harassing a woman who could not tell him loudly to go fuck himself.

Keith seemed to pull himself together as much as he possibly could, straightening up and offering his hand.

“Keith Nott, Mr Gold, it’s a pleasure.”

Nick took a step forward, letting the tip of his cane dig deep into one of the man’s Oxfords. He took the offered hand, squeezing hard and smiling sharply.

“I’m sure it is. And I see you’ve met my girlfriend.”

He thought saying the term out loud would make him feel foolish or old, but it didn’t. Though it felt like it wasn’t enough to encompass all that Belle meant to him it filled him with pride nevertheless.

“Yeah, I-”

“And you’ve been following her around. Cornering her in places. Leaning menacingly into her space and the like. Hardly appropriate behaviour in polite society.”

The idiot was starting to sweat, and he was sure he had the eyes and ears of everyone in the room. The threat had been delivered, the message received. No need to prolong the encounter. He snapped his fingers in the general direction of one of Mal’s other VPs, this one a dark-haired Englishman that has been hand picked by the dragon herself. Smart as a whip, and Belle often spoke well of him. Came from humble origins, if his unrefined accent was anything to go by.

“Mr Ravenwood, I believe our friend here has drunk rather a little too much and finds himself indisposed. It would be better for everyone involved if he was escorted out as discreetly as possible.”

There was no way to do anything discreetly, not with everyone staring at them, but it was certainly possible for the company to save a bit of face. Dylan, to his credit, handled the situation with aplomb and, dare he say it, a little bit of relish, taking the taller man firmly by both arms and making it seem like they were engaged in lighthearted conversation as he dragged him away. No wonder he was Mal’s little pet. Kid had potential. No doubt he’d be able to use the incident and a few others to unseat the young Nott in no time. Perhaps he could lend a bit of a helping hand in there.

“Belle, dear, everything’s gone splendidly. I think you’ve more than earned a bit of a head start on your weekend plans. Leave any last-minute instructions with Dylan and then you and I presume Nick can go enjoy yourselves.”

Mal had appeared out of nowhere and he wondered for a moment how it was possible for a 5’9’’ woman wearing ten inch heels to appear without making a sound or being seen. The smile she directed at Belle seemed genuine and reassuring, which put the younger woman at ease. It wasn’t until she was out of their view that she dropped it.

“What the fuck, Nick?”

“I don’t know what you mean?”

“I mean the macho posturing that’s gonna be the fucking talk of the town for a week, instead of the project I just unveiled.”

He bristled at her affronted tone.

“Well, I couldn’t very well let a fucking boy green between the ears manhandle Belle. It’s not my fault that you let it go on for as long as it did.” When he saw she was about to defend herself he cut her off. “Oh, I can imagine what this was about. You wanting to get rid of the little idiot, and him causing a scene when Belle was finally forced to slap him or otherwise put him in his place would’ve given you a nice bit of ammo. And Belle, bless her soul, wouldn’t have batted an eye at being used like that. Doesn’t mean I have to like it or tolerate it.”

She scoffed, but she looked like she grudgingly agreed with him. She snatched a vodka Martini from a passing waiter, not ready to give up the fight.

“We need to meet and hash this out properly. Go and enjoy your little weekend of sin as much as your old age allows you to but come Monday we’ll sit down and come up with an arrangement. Do’s and don’ts of sharing Belle’s time and attention.”

“A contract? What an ingenious thought.”

He tried not to let his glee show. Contracts were his purview, his stock and trade. There was no way he’d ever negotiate a bad contract. Mal was going to regret ever coming up with the idea.

#rumbelle #rumbelle fic #Thestraggletag fanfiction #starbucks series #public affairs

27 notes · View notes

soloragoldsun · 5 years ago

Text

Pride Month Recommendations- Days 9-18

No, I didn’t forget this! I just haven’t had the strength to do long-ass posts of this nature. Hopefully, things will be better when I switch shifts at the end of the month.

Anyway, I’m going to go through my Steam Library for this list...

9. Angels with Scaly Wings by Radical Phi is a dating sim/mystery/sci-fi game where you can romance a dragon. As you can probably imagine, it is an ideal game for me. You are an ambassador from a dying Earth who has been sent through a portal to a world populated by sentient dragons. There, you uncover a series of murders and get close to certain dragons while trying to save their world and yours. The characters are very in-depth with largely tragic backstories. Get ready for some feels. Your character is referred to by they/them pronouns, leaving their gender open to your interpretation. You can develop a relationship with all five dragons, regardless. It’s a wonderful game with great worldbuilding and incredible characters!

10. Coming Out on Top by Obscurasoft is a game that I willingly purchased TWICE. The first time was when it was still in development, which I almost never do. Even when it was incomplete, I got an amazing experience from it! When I lost access to my old email and the game came out on Steam, I bought the completed version. The premise is simple in theory: You are a college senior who has just come out as gay, and can romance one of several guys over the course of the game. What makes this game stand out is the likeable characters, the zany settings you can find yourself in, and the hilarious dialogue! Each romance is unique, and even the non-romanceable side characters are memorable. It has good sex scenes, if that’s what you’re into, and you can even customize things like facial hair on your character and the bachelors. There are even mini-dates you can go on if you don’t feel like playing a whole route. This game has it all, and you can easily get several hours of gameplay out of it. I mean, did I mention that I willingly paid for it TWICE?

11. Dragon Age: Origins by Bioware was a gamechanger for me, literally, as it heightened my standards when it came to games in general. To this day, it remains on my top five list of greatest games of all time. You play as a character who eventually becomes a Grey Warden, whose purpose is to defeat creatures known as Darkspawn and stop a Blight that is descending upon your homeland. How you go about that fight, who you choose as allies, and your overall actions in the world are up to you. You can play out one of several backstories for your character, customize your class, and, of course, romance one of four characters. Two of the romanceable characters, Leliana and Zevran, are bisexual. In later games, you get even more romance options, but I feel that Origins is the best game overall. I could play it again and again, and have done so several times. Also, it’s on Steam, which means you can buy it and all DLCs without dealing with the annoying Origin platform.

12. Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator by Game Grumps has been talked about so much, I almost feel like I don’t need to. I will anyway. It’s a game where you play as a single dad who moves into an area that, conveniently, also has a bunch of single dads. As the title suggests, you get to date the dads you meet over the course of the game. This game is awesome because, among other aspects, it’s super inclusive. You can decide whether your dadsona is trans or not, whether your daughter is adopted, whether your previous spouse was a man or woman... The characters themselves are wonderfully-developed and three-dimensional. There are also many Dad Jokes. Also, Damian is best dad.

13. Gone Home by Fullbright is another game that is often talked about in LGBTQ circles. It’s an exploration game where you return home to an empty house and learn by going through different rooms, reading letters, and finding items, the story of your character’s family, particularly your sister. I love games that force you to explore and work for the whole storyline, because it feels so much more fulfilling when it all plays out. Gone Home does this brilliantly! I will say that it’s a short game for the price, so I’d recommend waiting for a sale.

14. Life is Strange by DONTNOD Entertainment is one of the greatest games I have ever played, period. I will never be able to say enough good things about it. You play as Max Caulfield, a photographer who has recently moved back to her hometown to attend the prestigious Blackwell Academy. There, she reunites with her estranged best friend, Chloe Price, falls into a mystery surrounding a missing student, and learns that she has the ability to rewind time. It’s a game where choices in the first episode will impact what happens in the fifth. All of the characters are memorable. You will absolutely fall in love with Arcadia Bay and get sucked into the mystery surrounding it. I played this game over the course of three days when I first bought it, because I just couldn’t stop. It remains one of the most emotional experiences I’ve ever had. As for LGBTQ aspects, both Max and Chloe are bisexual, and you can play Max as having feelings for Chloe and/or her friend Warren.

15. miraclr- Divine Dating Sim by Woodsy Studio is a fun little game about falling in love with an angel via group chat. Your character has been chosen to communicate with the seraphim (and Lucifer) concerning the implementation of the first miracle Earth has seen in ages. Most of the game involves chatting with the angels, deciding on a miracle, and entering private group chats to develop your relationship with the angels. You get to choose your pronouns, and Gabriel goes by they/them pronouns. I’ve only played one route, but it was pretty cute! The one annoying aspect is the fact that it’s modeled after a mobile game and sets chats for certain times. You can easily bypass that, however, by choosing to power through or rewind.

16. Nekojishi by Team Nekojishi is...a mixed bag, if I’m going to be honest. The likeability of the characters fluctuates a lot, and the True Ending had A LOT of issues for me. Still, I played the thing for nine whole hours! It’s a game about Liao, a college student and aspiring dancer whose third eye is suddenly opened, giving him the ability to see gods and spirits. Among these spirits are Guardian Tiger, a family guardian spirit who wants Liao to return to his family’s temple and use his abilities there, Clouded Leopard, who wants Liao to become a go-between for him and his worshipers, and Leopard Cat, who has possessed one of Liao’s classmates in order to convince him to create a temple for an earth god he’s connected to. Obviously, Liao isn’t so keen to abandon his own life in order to fulfill any of these wishes, but the spirits decide to remain by his side until he makes a choice. You can romance one or all of the characters, leading to different endings which, again, vary in quality. Still, the art and music are great, there are many tidbits on Taiwanese folklore, and it’s free! If you’re into gay beastmen and folklore, this is a good game to check out.

17. Night in the Woods by Infinite Fall is another game that played with my emotions. Like, it got so real, I needed to take frequent breaks during my first playthrough. You play as Mae Borowski, a college dropout returning to her hometown for reasons unknown to the player for most of the game. Falling into her former, aimless life, Mae reconnects with her friends while learning of the darker secrets of Possum Springs. Mae is pansexual, and two of her friends, Gregg and Angus, are in a relationship that is further explored if you choose to get closer to Gregg over the course of the game. This game delves into heavy subjects like depression, helplessness, the slow death of a town, and growing apart from the people you once knew.

18. I’m ending this list with a game everyone should know about: Stardew Valley by Concerned Ape. This is the peak of all farming simulation games! You play as a character who inherits a farm from their grandfather and moves there to escape their meaningless office job. Once there, you can develop your farm, fight monsters, explore, and befriend the townsfolk. Whether you play as a male or female, the romance options are all open. You can marry, have kids, and raise a family together. All of the characters have great events, but my favorite has to be my goth boi Sebastian.

Phew... Remind me not to let this go for nine days again. That took awhile... Anyway, I hope you find something you like. See you tomorrow!

1 note · View note

thelittlestcheshire · 5 years ago

Text

Task 002: Family

Warning - under the read more is long and image-heavy.

Edward Elswood is Ches’s father, the core owner and CEO of a multi-billion dollar luxury goods conglomerate and very much so a workaholic. He doesn’t actually see his children very often, the only time Ches actually sees him face to face now is during major holidays and events. Even his children still at home get phone calls more often than actual conversations. She’s the youngest of the Elswood children that can still vividly remember what life was like before her mother’s death, before he stopped making time to see his children. Her relationship with the man feels quite tense, he loves her, but he’s extremely disappointed in her life choices. She still holds enough weight to be able to whisper in her father’s ear if she really needs something, a fact she unfortunately still hasn’t quite realized, but she is far from the favorite Elswood child. (Parent Ages/Birthdays? You’re lucky they have a FC: Patrick Dempsey)

Ches’s mother, Julia Elswood, was born and raised in Paris, France, where she met and fell in love with her husband. Before her death, she was very much the light of the Elswood home, the sound of laughter followed her when she ended the room. A warm feeling of safety and peace. It actually boggles Ches’s mind whenever her grandparents tell her that she’s the Elswood child who reminds them most of their late daughter, her mother was so good, and Ches is so flawed in comparison. She has a very hard time letting her mother go, perhaps due to the fact she was the only Elswood child with their mother when she died. She can never forget the gunshot, being unable to help stop the bleeding no matter what she had done. Even after nearly ten years, Julia’s death haunts her daughter’s dreams. (Death Date: July 19th, 2010, FC: Isla Fisher)

Logan is the oldest of the Elswood children and the oldest son. When their mother died, he was being groomed to take over for their father someday, but the loss of Julia left behind a four-year-old and a baby without a mother, a daughter with constant nightmares, and three younger brothers who needed a hand to guide them. In many ways, Logan became his siblings' parent after they lost their mother, first switching to homeschooling and then outright dropping out once he was old enough to. Ches loves and admires Logan a lot, hearing she disappointed him would be way more crushing then her father being disappointed in her ever could dream of being. She also worries about him a lot, given his cocaine addiction and overdose. While she believes him when he says he’s doing well, she checks in constantly. (Age: 24, Birthday: May 28th, FC: Will Tudor)

Jamie Elswood is the second oldest of the Elswood children, and the one Ches dislikes the most. Her father wishes they’d get along, after all - Jamie is his pride and joy, nothing he did should be bad enough to divide the family. Maybe that’d be true if Jamie hadn’t slept with James, the first boyfriend Ches ever truly loved. She doubts she’ll ever get along with him again, and that’s perfectly okay by her. As long as he remains studying at Yale and stays out of her way, she has no complaints. The second he breathes near her, however, she’s lashing out at him constantly and trying her hardest to keep him away from anyone she actually likes. (Age: 21, Birthday: April 5th, FC: Sam Claflin)

Out of all Ches’s siblings, there’s no one she is closer to than Emmett. Sometimes it feels like he’s the only out of them who truly gets her and why she does some of the things she does. He’s flawed, a black sheep just like her, and she never wants to imagine a world where he isn’t just a video call away. Whether they’re talking about everything going on in their lives, or they’re listening to music when words fail - she’s thankful to have a sibling like him. He’s her “emotional support human,” and she’s his, and she can’t see that changing anytime soon. These two tend to go on vacations together whenever it’s possible to, and Ches talks to him multiple times daily. It’s not uncommon to catch them texting up a storm during the day, either in the group chat Ches has with a few of her friends or one on one. It was actually Ches introduced him to his girlfriend, Camellia, after the two girls met at a fashion week party. (Age: 20, Birthday: September 9th, FC: Luke Baines)

Jonah is the older of the two Elswood twins, the one Ches has decided is the better twin out of the two of them. At one point the two were extremely close, they were born only minutes apart, they were very rarely apart when they were younger - it was easy for them to be close at that point in their lives. Then, the events of their 8th birthday occurred, and the two grew apart. In ways, the twins are extremely different. Jonah is almost like a walking, breathing Thomas Sanders vine, while Ches is a mess of complicated chaos. They still talk often and hang out a lot when Ches is home, but Jonah and her could go weeks without talking and still be perfectly fine. (Age: 17, Birthday: July 19th (TWIN), FC: Cameron Monaghan)

Nothing about being at Luxor pains Ches more than being away from her younger sisters (and her niece, Belle). In many ways, Ches took on an almost maternal figure for the girls, and even after four years, the ache she feels if she doesn’t talk to them daily eats her alive. Effie is the older of her two younger sisters, and she never fails to brighten Ches’s day when she calls home. It was Ches who bought Jerome, Effie’s Flemish Giant (and one true love if anyone asks the girl). Whether or not Effie is explaining the laws of science dragons would likely follow if they existed or chatting her ear off about the latest play she went to go see with friends, Ches looks forward to the girl’s calls. That doesn’t mean there aren’t concerns, however - Effie is currently going through therapy for an eating disorder, and the concept of someone she loves so much going through that kills Ches. This isn’t something she can protect the girl from or fix, the only thing she can do is be supportive, and it kills her. (Age 14, Birthday: October 31st, FC: Madisen Beaty)

Ella is the youngest out of the Elswood children, still about a year old when Julia died. Ches knows her baby sister isn’t the biggest fan of her being away and the fact she was stuck at Luxor over the summer has only increased the requests that Ches just come home instead of staying her senior year. It’s part of why, Ches is so scared to tell her family she turned down her acceptance to Columbia to stay at Luxor and attend the new college program, because she knows just how disappointed her sister will be. It’s not uncommon for Ches to leave the room to call Ella at night to ask her about what she’s missing in the girl’s life and wish her goodnight, nor is it uncommon for Ella and Effie to wake up to presents sent to them from their sister. Ches may be apart from them, but she’s trying her best to ensure they know she didn’t abandon them. (Age: 10, Birthday: November 11th, FC: Sadie Sink)

Isabelle, or Belle as Logan has been calling the baby, is the newest addition to the Elswood family. The girl was found on the Elswood’s stoop one morning, with a letter from Logan’s ex-girlfriend explaining the child was his. Logan didn’t question it, only taking a paternity test and confirming because Edward threatened to disown him. When Logan overdosed and Ches came home, it was her who ended up taking care of the girl while Logan was away, as she was doing her studies independently at home while she was away. It bothers Ches, missing out on so much, no matter how often she video calls the baby. (Date of Birth: July 10th, 2019. Dropped off on the Elswood’s doorstep on July 28th. FC: I really don’t like giving babies fcs so Imma not)

Camellia Lima (might as well be Elswood - in Ches’s opinion) is Emmett’s girlfriend and one of Ches’s closest friends. A Victoria’s Secret Angel and the daughter of a world-famous wildlife photographer, Camellia actually met Ches during a fashion week party at the start of her modeling career. The two girls hit it off right away, and they’ve been close ever since. In fact, Ches is the one who introduced her brother to her, expecting them to be good friends and being pleasantly surprised when they started dating. Ches doesn’t often mention to her friends at school just who Camellia is but anyone who follows Ches on any social media could figure it out within seconds, they constantly post stories of each other, comment on each other’s posts, and facetime to talk about everything going on in their lives. There’s even been a few times Camellia, Emmett, and Ches have been spotted together hanging out in Lake George when she has time to come up and visit. In a lot of ways, Cam is the big sister Ches never had growing up - and she can’t wait until the day Camellia actually is an Elswood. (Age: 20, Birthday: August 24th, FC: Sara Sampaio)

#musings #musings: Elswood Fam #luxortasks #Balo's is pretty much done too tbh I need to finish up Grace's #and after that it's BEDTIME holy shit this took me all days guys #if there's typos it's 4 am and I no longer care so if I notice them after I sleep they'll get fixed then #death tw #murder tw #drugs tw #eating disorder tw #hopefully I didn't forget any more tags #shit I am so tired #alcohol tw

9 notes · View notes

ofthingschanged · 5 years ago

Text

Canon Divergence from Descendants

Please note that I have not read the books yet so it is likely to change

Please note that anything that involves her mother or others can be plotted out differently and I will not control the past of our characters!

« Mal does not sing, her mother hates the sound so Mal doesn’t really know that she has a great voice until she is hanging out with the core three (since she is the fourth). « She doesn’t trust Evie, Carlos, or Jay (Jay yes, she sort of trusts him given that I guess in the books they are partners in crime) « Malnourished, underweight since the Isle doesn’t exactly get the fresh food that Auradon does, therefore, some food scraps or next to nothing to eat although Mal and her mother are on top of the food chain so they do get scraps more often than others. « Mal afraid of her mother and all of the power that she holds (even without magic Maleficent owns the Isle in her own special way) « Abusive life that Mal has lead from her mother withholding food because she was not wicked and evil enough to eat, to getting beat for breaking something, to the emotional abuse that she suffered since she was just a little thing. She learned that you had to be mean, cruel, not soft and have no friends because it shows that you are weak. These thoughts and learned behaviors just don’t go away. She learned to be whoever someone wants her to be because it would lead her to less pain which explains why in the second movie she is using magic, trying to be the girlfriend she thinks Ben would want. « The Isle is messy, filled with villains just trying to survive although death doesn’t happen on the Isle anyways. « When her mother wanted her to be her so Mal was NEVER good enough. Being told “That’s my nasty little girl.” makes her feel something amazing like her mother loves her almost so she always craves that next time she says it. « When told to get the wand, it wasn’t on the threat of being grounded but the threat of death or at least a fate worse than death. « She still dates Ben into the second and third film BUT it is a lot of working on the relationship. This is ONLY with Ben’s that ship them as I will adjust Mal as single. etc when other’s don’t ship it or Audrey is with Ben. « Mal is still the daughter of Hades BUT I won’t force this on Hades players « She doesn’t ask where the wand is right off the bat to Ben and the others, she doesn’t play the whole magic here game because duh people would catch on to what was happening or going to happen sooner! « A week is not long enough to really make connections with others. The only person she really has a connection with is Ben when it comes to Auradon. I am willing to do a plot where Ben and Mal get together in between the 1 and 2 films while attending school there. « “You sound just like your mom” both hurts and brings her a sense of pride. « When Mal walks into Jay’s and Carlos’s dorm, she spells it so only the core four can hear what is said inside the room « Mal has small scars littering her whole body and a big one from « In the museum, there is no singing moment, Mal does not stay behind to stare at her mother’s statue.

« She has a huge scar on her stomach where her mother once stabbed her in the stomach

« Mal is an amazing artist and when she gets to stay at the school and does work at an animal shelter does she use that money to buy art supplies. If she is King Ben’s girlfriend, clearly her time to work is like next to nothing but when a rumor is spread that she is great at art does art supplies seem to come in for her to use « Mal’s locker does not have a spraypainted logo on her locker as there was no time to settle in

« She still does Jane’s hair and other’s with magic

« Mal gets a few tattoos that I will write about at some point in time

« Mal gets herself a pet after the barrier goes down in a sense.

« The barrier doesn’t come down like it does in the third movie. The children come over without a background check generally BUT the adults? Are not allowed off the island.

« Mal has PTSD, generalized anxiety, and depression. Has nightmares often that will keep her awake all night long, will avoid things that remind her of past trauma.

« Mal hasn’t dated before but that doesn’t mean that she hasn’t made out with others

« Making cookies and giving one to Ben is more than just one cookie because it would look strange to just give just one. The cookie she takes out of the bag is the one that is filled with magic.

« Going to Ben's game and having him sing to her is amazing. She feels warm and light but she acts less than impressed for sure.

« The date that Ben takes Mal on is the first date she has ever been on.

« Mal can not swim during the first movies time but she learns after that, takes swim lessons

« Mal wants to break Ben’s love spell it makes sense. She didn’t want to be cruel, it proves that she has a heart.

« Honestly, everyone walks around thinking they are better than the VK’s and that the VK’s are horrible just like their parents. Everyone judges their mistakes TEN times worse than if someone from Auradon makes the same mistake

« Mal swears...a lot. Her mother didn’t care if she swore either.

« Going against her mother is the HARDEST thing that she has ever had to do. Breaking the cycle is hard on her as well.

« Mal mostly uses spells on herself such as spelling her hair to be blonde (Dove Cameron’s blonde not the blonde wig that she wore at the start of the second movie)

« Auradon seems to believe in females have their rules and males have another that is the first thing that Mal would ask to change by taking out the whole females aren’t allowed to fence rule.

« Mal giving Carlos the truth gummies and finding out that because Dude at it that he can talk, you best believe when Mal gets a dog that she gives them a truth gummy

« Mal has a habit of calling Uma “Shrimpy” among other sea-related terms

« Apparently there is a sandbox and a few other toys for children of the Isle because Mal wouldn’t let Uma play in her sandbox when they were little

« Mal tends to her pet lizard and let’s just say she spoils her freaking mother “lizard”

« Dizzy doing her hair is a way to be herself and she can pay Dizzy well which is honestly needed. Dizzy and Evie are the ones that do her hair sometimes but for the most part, Mal uses magic to change things about herself.

« Mal goes back to the isle because at least there she knows how things work, she can play the game of life easier.

« Spraypainting things in the hideout isn’t something Mal does given that they are given leftovers so drawing on napkins, old test paper, etc is more likely than getting a brand new spray can and using it against a wall.

« It physically hurts to turn into a dragon because her bones are breaking, shifting, lengthening to become something so much larger than a human. She aches for an hour after she turns back to human form but she truly does love flying around and being free. She can not change into a dragon when she is pregnant so when Ben and Mal decide to have children, it is likely that she will notice she is pregnant because she can’t change into her dragon form.

« The villains are moved to a prison, not an island where magic is useless and they are able to die after the events in d3 is how it goes. Children that are born in prison are taken away from the villain parents the moment it is born

« Mal’s eyes shine a teal coloring not the green in the movies. They are mixed in color because of who her parents are.

« Mal gets wounded when fighting with Uma, it hits her in the stomach where her scar is from her mother, she gets it the last second before Evie throws that colorful bomb. She heals fast thanks to who her father is.

« VK Day is a horrible thing, won’t be happening here! The VKs come over to go to school there, all the kids or none at all in Mal’s book

« Mal doesn’t think the barrier should be taken down BUT she does think that the children should be removed from the Isle and that is what she tells everyone in the room when asked what they should do.

#Long post #Long post for the ts #Long post tw #** ❰Mal Headcanon❱ Rotten to the core

2 notes · View notes

nerdygaymormon · 6 years ago

Text

David Simmons

David Simmons is a professor of Film Studies and Humanities at Northwest Florida State College (NWFSC) in Niceville, FL. That’s a very small town about half-way between Pensacola & Tallahassee in the Florida panhandle which is “the reddest of the red part of Florida.”

He attended BYU for both his Bachelor’s and Master’s degree, and taught at the Missionary Training Center during that time. While at BYU he performed in several operas and plays, and was in Concert Choir and BYU Singers. He earned his Ph.D. from Florida State University.

He makes a big impact in his north Florida community. He organized an on-campus Film Club, and a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA). As faculty advisor to the GSA, he’s helped them organize the area’s first LGBTQ Masquerade ball, which was open to the public. He also organized the city of Niceville’s very first Pride Walk.

He attends his local ward where he’s the choir director. “It’s difficult being gay and being a member of the church. It shouldn’t have to be. The Gospel is for everyone. But sadly, some members don’t think that.” He describes his ward as “a very conservative, military ward” (there’s an air force base nearby).

Can you imagine being a queer kid in this conservative little town of 12,000 and all of a sudden, there’s someone openly gay who is making safe spaces and raising the profile of the queer community?

This past week he was invited by his bishop to speak on ministering to LGBTQ members during a joint 3rd-hour meeting (5th Sunday). He says “There was a lot of pushback after I finished the talk, but that’s OK. I want to help church to be more loving for those who come after me.”

—————————————————————

“By This Shall All Men Know Ye Are My Disciples” Dr. David C. Simmons Sep. 30, 2018

On the last night of his mortal life, Jesus invited Judas to leave so that He could give a special message to his remaining 11 apostles (John 13:27-31). In Jesus’ Final Sermon, He gave them a sign, a way to tell who are Jesus’ true followers and who are not: “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:35).

In other words, Jesus knew there would be some who would claim to be His followers, but are not. We can recognize them, both in and out of the Church, because instead of loving those who are different than they are, they put them down in a self-righteous way.

Jesus went to the outsiders of his local community: the sinners, the poor, the lame, the blind, the lepers. He was teaching His true followers, in both word and deed, how to develop the capacity to love like He does.

In our day, some of the ones who have been treated the harshest by Christian churches are members of the LGBTQ community. A few supposed-Christians use passages of scripture, or proclamations, or words from bygone leaders as weapons to harm the very natures of these children of God.

I work with LGBTQ students at the College. I’ve listened to their stories. I’ve heard time and time again how they have been rejected by their families, their churches, and their communities, just for being who they are.(1)

Many of their “Christian” parents, thinking they were “doing God service” (John 16:2), threw them out of their homes and families. Now these teenagers are homeless. LGBTQ youth are 120% more likely to experience homelessness than their peers.(2)

LGBTQ youth are also 5 times more likely to commit suicide than their peers.(3) Nearly half of all LGBTQ youth have attempted suicide more than once.(4) And rates are even worse among LGBTQ youth who are members of the Church. Teen suicide rates in Utah have doubled since 2011, while the rest of the country did not see an increase.(5)

Why is this?

I want you to imagine that you were born as a member of the LGBTQ community. You grew up in Primary singing, “I Am a Child of God.” But then, at some point you were told by those who are closest to you, by those whom you love and trust to tell you the truth, that God doesn’t love you—that He has no place for you in the plan of salvation.

What are your options at that point? It seems that none of them are very good:

1) You can remain in the Church and live a lonely, pain-filled existence.(6) While everyone around you is boasting about the joy of marriage and being part of a family, you are constantly reminded that that is not for you.

2) You can leave the Church and find love and a family. But then you are left without the great spiritual helps the Gospel of Jesus Christ can offer.

3) You can marry someone of the opposite sex and may not be fulfilled. The Church does not encourage this anymore(7) because divorce rates in mixed-orientation marriages are far higher—80%(8)—and then often involve children.(9)

Can you feel that none of these options are fulfilling? Perhaps this is why so many LGBTQ members of the Church lose all hope and purpose and then may choose to end their lives.(10)

The Church is concerned about this. Just last month, on August 9, 2018, ward councils all over the world received a document called “Preventing Suicide and Responding after a Loss.” It begins with: “Members of the Church everywhere are invited to take an active role within their communities to minister to those who have thoughts of suicide or who are grieving a loss.”(11)

The Church is changing considerably how it ministers with love to its LGBTQ members.(12)

When Dan Reynolds, the lead singer of Imagine Dragons, organized an Aug. 2017 concert in Provo called LoveLoud, to let LGBTQ members know they are loved,(13) the Church put out an official statement endorsing that event: “We applaud the LoveLoud Festival for LGBT youth’s aim to bring people together to address teen safety and to express respect and love for all of God’s children. We join our voice with all who come together to foster a community of inclusion in which no one is mistreated because of who they are or what they believe. We share common beliefs, among them the pricelessness of our youth and the value of families. We earnestly hope this festival and other related efforts can build respectful communication, better understanding and civility as we all learn from each other.”(14)

Just two weeks ago, on Sep. 17, 2018, the Church called Elizabeth Jane Darger, a longtime LGBTQ advocate,(15) to be on the General Young Women’s Board.(16) What a powerful voice to have advocating for LGBTQ youth in the Young Women’s program!

The Church also has an official website, Mormon and Gay (mormonandgay.lds.org). It features the stories of many LGBTQ members, which are helpful for putting yourself in their shoes, so you can grow in understanding.(17)

This Church website also teaches several important principles:

1) “God loves all of us. He loves those of different faiths and those without any faith. He loves those who suffer. He loves the rich and poor alike. He loves people of every race and culture, the married or single, and those who. . . identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. And God expects us to follow his example.”(18)

2) “No true follower of Christ is justified in withholding love because you decide to identify [as a member of the LGBTQ community].”(19)

3) “God’s plan is perfect, even if our current understanding of His plan is not.”(20)

We don’t see the whole picture right now. As Paul taught: “For we know in part, and we prophesy in part” (1 Corinthians 13:9-13). Since we only “see through a glass, darkly” in relation to many eternal things, instead of pretending that we fully understand God’s will in all ways, shouldn’t we act on what He has called us to do: love? That was the Savior’s prime commission to His followers. Indeed, it’s how they would be identified by others as His true disciples.

The problem may lie in our understanding of our LGBTQ brothers and sisters. Some members may look at them as having a physical impairment that needs fixing. Both Elder Holland, in General Conference,(21) and the Church’s official website explain that this is not true(22). LGBTQ members are not choosing a “lifestyle”; it is how they are.

If we could learn to see our LGBTQ brothers and sisters like the Savior sees them, it would change our entire worldview and behavior. We would never make jokes about the LGBTQ community in our daily interactions. We would never express disgust at someone whose gender or sexuality was different than ours. We would never teach a child to turn off the TV when an LGBTQ person talks about their life.(23) Such actions not only contain unknowing bias and privilege, but are also doing untold harm to the lived lives of our brothers and sisters.

Statistically, at least 5% of the population is a member of the LGBTQ community,(24) with some recent surveys having this percentage far higher.(25) Even if we take the lower figure, that means that in a ward of 500 people, there may be at least 25 LGBTQ members. That so many of them are now less active is telling.

You and I both know multiple members, including young men and young women, who have passed through our ward, and been told they were “others,” or “less than,” or “outsiders” because of their gender or their sexuality. They sat through well-meaning but uninformed talks and lessons where a statement or teaching was weaponized against them. They were made to feel as though there was no place for them in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Today, many of them have left the embracing arms of the Savior, His atonement, and His restored gospel. What a breathtaking, unbelievable loss for us, for them, and for God.

We still love them. But wouldn’t it better if they had these things to bless their lives too? Aren’t they better off inside the Church, rather than being forced away because of the unkind words and deeds of those who should be followers of Jesus Christ? Isn’t that what true ministering is all about? Reaching out with love to people no matter where they are on their spiritual journey?

Last month, speaking in a BYU Devotional, Eric D. Huntsman, a Professor of Ancient Scripture, explained our need to minister with love to our LGBTQ brothers and sisters: “We should never fear that we are compromising when we make the choice to love. . . . Accepting others. . .means simply that we allow the realities of their lives to be different than our own. Whether those realities mean that they look, act, feel, or experience life differently than we do, the unchanging fact is that they are children of loving heavenly parents, and the same Jesus suffered and died for them, as for us. Not just for LGBTQ+ sisters and brothers but for many people, the choice to love can literally make the difference between life and death.”(26)

Undoubtedly, there are those in this room who will have children, other family members, or friends who will come out to you. It will be one of the most painfully vulnerable moments of their life. Decide right now, that you will respond immediately with overwhelming love and kindness. That’s all you have to do. Just put your arms around them and say, “Thank you for telling me. I love you just like you are.”

Think to yourself, “How would the Savior reach out with love?” Then love like that. It may take having to unlearn some of the things your local culture has taught you in order to walk the higher way of the Law of the Gospel (loving like Jesus loved).

Seek out LGBTQ people in your circles of influence. Get to know them and their stories. Instead of correcting and instructing, just listen, feel, and love them for who they are. Become a powerful friend and ally.

If you don’t have the strength to do this yet, cry out to your God for strength, for courage, and for the ability to develop the capacity to love as He loves.

If you are a member of the LGBTQ community, try this experiment. Go home tonight and pray in secret: “Dear Heavenly Father, do you love me?” Feel God’s immense peace and love wash over you as He confirms this with certainty. You are His child and He loves you. The Gospel is for you too.

Conclusion The Holy Ghost bears record to our souls that God loves all of his children, not just his straight children. He loves his gay children, his lesbian children, his bi children, his trans children, and those who are still trying to understand the divine way he made them. The atonement of Jesus Christ is for everyone.

Nephi taught this sublime, eternal truth: “[The Savior] inviteth all to come unto him and partake of his goodness.” What does “all” mean? It means “all.”

“And he denieth none that come unto him.” What does “none” mean? It’s means “none.”

“Black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen [that means non-member]; and all are alike unto God” (2 Nephi 26:33, emphasis added).

It’s my testimony that the Savior’s atonement is for everyone. He wants us to establish Zion right here and right now. But that can only be done by partaking of the atonement, and allowing our natures to be changed so that we are filled with love for everyone, especially those whom our local culture deems as “outsiders.” Then we can’t wait to go forth, becoming the Savior’s hands to lift, to minister, and to love others.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

[If you need someone to talk with about the ideas presented here, please email me (David Simmons): [email protected]]

Appendix 1: Scriptures, Quotes, and Resources for Further Study

“Mormon LGBT Questions.” Bryce Cook, March 17, 2017. This is the most profound resource on how the Church’s view on LGBTQ members has changed over time. I think every member of the Church should read it. If it’s too long, read a summary here:

“LGBT Questions: An Essay.” By Common Consent, March 19, 2017. This is a summary of Bryce Cook’s landmark “Mormon LGBT Questions” document.

Mormon and Gay. This is the Church’s official website. They recently changed the name from mormonsandgays to mormonandgay to acknowledge the many members who are both.

“Hard Sayings and Safe Spaces: Making Room for Struggle as Well as Faith.” Eric D. Huntsman. Aug. 7, 2018, BYU Speeches. A masterful talk given last month at a BYU Devotional about our need to love each other wherever we are on our spiritual journey.

“A Mission President’s Beautiful Response When a Missionary Came Out to Him as Gay.” LDS Living, Aug. 27, 2018. Cal Burke’s inspiring story about coming out to his mission president and being received with love.

“Mormon and/or Gay?” By Common Consent, Aug. 20, 2018. How we often unknowingly use “othering” language in our discourse about our LGBTQ brothers and sisters.

“To Mourn with Gay Friends That Mourn.” By Common Consent, Oct. 4, 2017. Why we often correct and instruct rather than listen and feel when we talk with our LGBTQ brothers and sisters.

“An Open Letter to Latter-Day Saints: When a Gay Person Shows Up at Church.” By Common Consent, Nov. 8, 2015. A discussion of the unbearable choice given to LGBTQ members.

That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith and Family. Tom Christofferson. SLC: Deseret Book: Sep. 2017. An apostle’s gay brother tells his experience of being unconditionally loved and supported by his family and bishopric after coming out to them. You can purchase it here.

President M. Russell Ballard • “I want anyone who is a member of the Church who is gay or lesbian to know I believe you have a place in the kingdom and I recognize that sometimes it may be difficult for you to see where you fit in the Lord’s Church, but you do. We need to listen to and understand what our LGBT brothers and sisters are feeling and experiencing. Certainly, we must do better than we have done in the past so that all members feel they have a spiritual home.”(27)

Elder Quentin L. Cook • “As a church, nobody should be more loving and compassionate. Let us be at the forefront in terms of expressing love, compassion, and outreach. Let’s not have families exclude or be disrespectful of those who choose a different lifestyle as a result of their feelings about their own gender.”(28)

Matthew 9: Loving Outsiders is More Important than Church Ritual • Matthew 9:10-11 “And it came to pass, as Jesus sat at meat in the house, behold, many publicans and sinners came and sat down with him and his disciples. And when the Pharisees saw it, they said unto his disciples, Why eateth your Master with publicans and sinners?” Here, church leaders and members are rebuking Jesus for being with tax collectors (a hated segment of society, that were often excommunicated from the synagogues) and sinners • Matthew 9:12-13 “But when Jesus heard that, he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick. But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy [Greek: eleos, “love” or “compassion”] and not sacrifice.” Jesus is here quoting Hosea 6:6, where He once told the prophet: “I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices” (N.L.T. Hosea 6:6). In other words, showing love to the outcasts of society is more important than church rituals. It’s more important than partaking of the sacrament. It’s more important than going to the temple. If you don’t love others (especially the outsiders, like Jesus did) than none of the rituals • N.L.T. Matthew 9:13 “For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.” Jesus is very clear with these church leaders and members who think they are following all the rules, but yet are looking on the outcasts of society, that they are in a far worse position than those they look down on. They are the greater sinners.

Humble Outsiders Will Go Into the Kingdom of God before SelfRighteous Members • Matthew 21:31 During His mortal ministry, the Savior had some of his harshest words to say to members of the Church who were afflicted by self-righteous-itis. They thought they were better than females, or the poor, or those outside certain family lines. To them, He said: “The publicans and harlots go into the kingdom of God before you.” • Matthew 22:1-14 Jesus also told the parable of the marriage of the king’s son, where those who were bidden to the marriage dinner “would not come,” so the king tells his servants to go out to the highways and gather as many of those the world deemed as outsiders, to come partake of the feast. He said to do this because “many are called [baptized members of the Church], but few are chosen [to live the way the Savior lives].” • The Savior Himself went to the poor, the lame, the leprous, the blind, to those whom society deemed outsiders. If we want to be like Him, we shouldn’t align ourselves with the self-righteous in our day and put down the vulnerable and the outsiders. We should instead follow His example and seek out those who may have been labeled “outsiders.”

The Outsiders Will Go Into Heaven Before Complacent Members • Luke 14:15 “And when one of them that sat at meat with him heard these things, he said unto him, Blessed is he that shall eat bread in the kingdom of God.” Since this teaching may not be absolutely clear, Jesus gives a parable to explain it—the Parable of the Great Supper. • Luke 14:16-17 “Then said he unto him, A certain man made a great supper, and bade many: and sent his servant at supper time to say to them that were bidden, Come; for all things are now ready.” What’s the supper? Feasting on the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This is such a beautiful image. When we take it inside of us, it becomes part of who we are (Schaelling, C.E.S. Institute Lecture, “Great Supper”). • How do we accept the invitation to the Supper? Through baptism (Schaelling, C.E.S. Institute Lecture, “Great Supper”). • Luke 14:18-20 “And they all with one consent began to make excuse. The first said unto him, I have bought a piece of ground, and I must needs go and see it: I pray thee have me excused. And another said, I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I go to prove them: I pray thee, have me excused. And another said, I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.” What excuses do people make not to come to the feast? New ground, new oxen, new wife. There are many reasons that people can give for not putting the Gospel of Jesus Christ first in their lives. Do we ever put possessions, or even family members, before the Savior? What does Jesus say about this in verse 26? “If any man come to me and [Greek “doesn’t love less”] his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also; or in other words, is afraid to lay down his life for my sake; he cannot be my disciple” (J.S.T. Luke 14:26). This is tough. What do you do if your wife wants you to stay home instead of doing your home teaching? What do you do if your parents tell you they will disown you if you get baptized into the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ? When I was on my mission in Texas, there was an 18-year-old non-member girl named Letti who went to seminary with some of her friends, felt the Spirit of God tell her it was true, and knew she needed to join. But her parents told her that if she did, she would no longer be considered one of their family. What a tough choice for anyone to have to make. Yet, she went through with her decision to be baptized anyway, for she could not put other things—even family—before the Savior. Letti was being a true disciple of Jesus Christ. She put him first above all things, even her own family • Luke 14:21-24 “So that servant came, and shewed his lord these things. Then the master of the house being angry said to his servant, Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city and bring in hither the poor, and the maimed, and the halt, and the blind. And the servant said, Lord it is done as thou hast commanded, and yet there is room. And the lord said unto the servant, Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled. For I say unto you, That none of those men which were bidden shall taste of my supper.” What does this mean? • 1) Since the Jews, the Lord’s covenant people, were rejecting the supper, that great feast of the Gospel was just about to go to the spiritually poor, maimed, halt, and blind: in other words, the Gentiles, beginning at the time of Paul (Schaelling, C.E.S. Institute Lecture, “Great Supper”). • 2) For me, individually, it means I need to come and partake of the Savior, and his Gospel, and have this mighty value change in my life where I realize that earthly things are only here to be turned into eternal things by using them to help other people, so that my place at the eternal feast doesn’t go to someone else who is more giving, more loving, and more compassionate than I am. I need tobe like the Savior.

Matthew 19:30 The First Shall Be Last and the Last Shall Be First • Jesus said: “But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.” • As Dr. Fatimah Sellah recently said: “I’ve long believed of the marginalized of this church and the world, that if the first shall be last and the last shall be first: I’d be careful if I were first right now. I’d be careful if I were the ones at the pulpits and held the power. God is a God of disruption and flips things on its head.”(29)

Ephesians 2:19 There Are No Outsiders in God’s Church • “Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God.”

President Brigham Young • “The least, the most inferior person now upon the earth . . . is worth worlds” (Journal of Discourses 9:124).

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf • “Sometimes we confuse differences in personality with sin. We can even make the mistake of thinking that because someone is different from us, it must mean they are not pleasing to God. This line of thinking leads some to believe that the Church wants to create every member from a single mold—that each one should look, feel, think, and behave like every other. This would contradict the genius of God, who created every man different from his brother, every son different from his father. . . . As disciples of Jesus Christ, we are united in our testimony of the restored gospel and our commitment to keep God’s commandments. But we are diverse in our cultural, social, and political preferences. The Church thrives when we take advantage of this diversity and encourage each other to develop and use our talents to lift and strengthen our fellow disciples” (“Four Titles.” Ensign. May 2013).

Bishop Gerald Causse, First Counselor in the Presiding Bishopric • “During His earthly ministry, Jesus was an example of one who went far beyond the simple obligation of hospitality and tolerance. Those who were excluded from society, those who were rejected and considered to be impure by the self-righteous, were given His compassion and respect. They received an equal part of His teachings and ministry. • “For example, the Savior went against the established customs of His time to address the woman of Samaria, asking her for some water. He sat down to eat with publicans and tax collectors. He didn’t hesitate to approach the leper, to touch him and heal him. Admiring the faith of the Roman centurion, He said to the crowd, “Verily I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel” (Matthew 8:10; see also 8:2-3; Mark 1:40-42; 2:15; John 4:7-9). • “In this Church there are no strangers and no outcasts. There are only brothers and sisters. The knowledge that we have of an Eternal Father helps us be more sensitive to the brotherhood and sisterhood that should exist among all men and women upon the earth. • “A passage from the novel Les Misérables illustrates how priesthood holders can treat those individuals viewed as strangers. Jean Valjean had just been released as a prisoner. Exhausted by a long voyage and dying of hunger and thirst, he arrives in a small town seeking a place to find food and shelter for the night. When the news of his arrival spreads, one by one all the inhabitants close their doors to him. Not the hotel, not the inn, not even the prison would invite him in. He is rejected, driven away, banished. Finally, with no strength left, he collapses at the front door of the town’s bishop. The good clergyman is entirely aware of Valjean’s background, but he invites the vagabond into his home with these compassionate words: “‘This is not my house; it is the house of Jesus Christ. This door does not demand of him who enters whether he has a name, but whether he has a grief. You suffer, you are hungry and thirsty; you are welcome. … What need have I to know your name? Besides, before you told me [your name], you had one which I knew.’ “[Valjean] opened his eyes in astonishment. “‘Really? You knew what I was called?’ “‘Yes,’ replied the Bishop, ‘you are called my brother.’” (Les Miserables 1:73). • “In this Church our wards and our quorums do not belong to us. They belong to Jesus Christ. Whoever enters our meetinghouses should feel at home. • “It is very likely that the next person converted to the gospel in your ward will be someone who does not come from your usual circle of friends and acquaintances. You may note this by his or her appearance, language, manner of dress, or color of skin. This person may have grown up in another religion, with a different background or a different lifestyle. • “We all need to work together to build spiritual unity within our wards and branches. An example of perfect unity existed among the people of God after Christ visited the Americas. The record observes that there were no “Lamanites, nor any manner of -ites; but they were in one, the children of Christ, and heirs to the kingdom of God.” (4 Nephi 1:17). • “Unity is not achieved by ignoring and isolating members who seem to be different or weaker and only associating with people who are like us. On the contrary, unity is gained by welcoming and serving those who are new and who have particular needs. These members are a blessing for the Church and provide us with opportunities to serve our neighbors and thus purify our own hearts. • “Reach out to anyone who appears at the doors of your Church buildings. Welcome them with gratitude and without prejudice. If people you do not know walk into one of your meetings, greet them warmly and invite them to sit with you. Please make the first move to help them feel welcome and loved, rather than waiting for them to come to you. • “After your initial welcome, consider ways you can continue to minister to them. I once heard of a ward where, after the baptism of two deaf sisters, two marvelous Relief Society sisters decided to learn sign language so they could better communicate with these new converts. What a wonderful example of love for fellow brothers and sisters in the gospel! • “I bear witness that no one is a stranger to our Heavenly Father. There is no one whose soul is not precious to Him. • “I pray that when the Lord gathers His sheep at the last day, He may say to each one of us, “I was a stranger, and ye took me in.” Then we will say to Him, “When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in?” And He will answer us, “Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matthew 25:35-40). In the name of Jesus Christ, amen” (“Ye Are No More Strangers,” General Conference, October 2013).

ENDNOTES ——————————

(1) McKeon, Jennie. “NWFSC Students Hosting Inaugural Gay Ball.” WUWF. Sep. 20, 2018. http://www.wuwf.org/post/nwfsc-students-hostinginaugural-gay-ball

(2) Silva, Christina. “LGBT Youth are 120% More Likely to Be Homeless Than Straight People, Study Shows.” Newsweek. Nov. 30, 2017. https://www.newsweek.com/lgbt-youth-homeless-study-727595

(3) “Facts About Suicide.” The Trevor Project. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/preventing-suicide/factsabout-suicide/#sm.001r5tfiv1doccqtqy6168cjea5zn

(4) http://www.speakforthem.org/facts.html

(5) Utah Department of Health, https://ibis.health.utah.gov/pdf/opha/publication/hsu/SE04_SuicideE piAid.pdf See also: Hatch, Heidi. “Is Utah’s Youth Suicide Rate Linked to Utah’s Culture Surrounding LGBT?” https://kutv.com/news/local/isutahs-youth-suicide-rate-linked-to-utahs-culture-surrounding-lgbt See also the Church’s official page on LGBTQ suicide: https://mormonandgay.lds.org/articles/depression-andsuicide?lang=eng

(6) “My Life at BYU-I as a Gay Mormon.” https://zelphontheshelf.com/mylife-at-byu-i-as-a-gay-mormon/

(7) “President Hinckley. . .made this statement: ‘Marriage should not be viewed as a therapeutic step to solve problems such as homosexual inclinations or practices.’” https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/interview-oaks-wickmansame-gender-attraction

(8) Kort, Joe. “Mixed-Orientation Marriages.” GLBTQ. 2015. http://www.glbtqarchive.com/ssh/mixed_orientation_marriages_S.pdf

(9) Carol Kuruvilla, “Gay Mormon Who Became Famous for Mixed Orientation Marriage Is Divorcing His Wife.” Huffington Post. Jan. 29, 2018. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gay-mormon-josh-weeddivorce_us_5a6f331be4b06e253269d34a

(10) Lang, Nico. “‘I See My Son In Every One of Them’: With a Spike in Suicides, Parents of Utah’s Queer Youth Fear the Worst.” Vox. March 20, 2017. https://www.vox.com/identities/2017/3/20/14938950/mormonutah-lgbtq-youth

(11) This document outlines the warning signs for suicide: • Looking for a way to kill themselves • Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live • Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain • Talking about being a burden to others • Acting anxious or agitated or behaving recklessly • Withdrawing or isolating themselves • Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge • Displaying extreme mood swings When you many of these there are three things to remember: Ask, Care, Tell.

1) Ask. Ask the person directly if they are thinking about suicide. If they say yes, ask: “Do you have a plan to hurt yourself.” If the answer is yes, call a crisis helpline. (The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.) If the answer is no, move to step 2: 2) Care. Show that you care by listening to what they say. Give them time to explain how they are feeling. Respect their feelings by saying something like: “I’m sorry you are in so much pain. I didn’t realize how hard things are for you right now.” You might offer to help them make a Suicide-Prevention Safety Plan that helps people identify their personal strengths, positive relationships and healthy coping skills. 3) Tell. Encourage the person to tell someone who can offer more support. If they will not seek help, you may need to tell someone for them. You may want to say something like: “I care about you and want you to be safe. I’m going to tell someone who can offer you the help you need.” Respect them by letting them pick the resource, such as a someone on the free crisis helpline.

(12) For the best, most-thorough examination of the how the Church’s position regarding LGBTQ members has changed since the days of President Kimball, see: Cook, Bryce. “Mormon LGBT Questions.” March 17, 2017. I think every member of the Church should read this. https://mormonlgbtquestions.com/2017/03/17/what-do-we-know-ofgods-will-for-his-lgbt-children-an-examination-of-the-lds-churchsposition-on-homosexuality/

(13) A documentary called Believer (2018) tells the fascinating, dramatic story of the lead-up to this concert: https://www.hbo.com/content/hboweb/en/documentaries/believer/a bout.html Here’s how you can watch it: https://heavy.com/entertainment/2018/06/watch-believerdocumentary-online/

(14) Official Church Statement, August 16, 2017, https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/church-statement-loveloud-festival

(15) Cynthia L. “New YW and RS Boards Include Two Black Women, ‘Common Ground’ LGBT Inclusion Advocate.” Sep. 18, 2018. https://bycommonconsent.com/2018/09/18/new-yw-and-rs-boardsinclude-two-black-women-common-ground-lgbt-inclusionadvocate/#more-106875

(16) https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/new-latter-day-saintgeneral-board-members-named

(17) https://mormonandgay.lds.org/stories?lang=eng

(18) https://mormonandgay.lds.org/articles/church-teachings?lang=eng

(19) https://mormonandgay.lds.org/articles/who-am-i?lang=eng

(20) https://mormonandgay.lds.org/articles/gods-plan?lang=eng

(21) “I must say, this son’s sexual orientation did not somehow miraculously change—no one assumed it would.” Holland, Jeffrey R. “Behold Thy Mother.” Oct. 2015 General Conference. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/10/behold-thymother?lang=eng

(22) “A change in attraction should not be expected or demanded as an outcome by parents or leaders.” https://mormonandgay.lds.org/articles/frequently-askedquestions?lang=eng

(23) Nick Einbender, Post on “Mormons Building Bridges,” Sep. 18, 2018. https://www.facebook.com/groups/mormonsbuildingbridges/permali nk/1513907792043410/

(24) Steinmetz, Katy. “How Many Americans Are Gay?” Time. May 16, 2016. http://time.com/lgbt-stats/

(25) It is likely a much larger percentage. In another study, 20% of Millennials (ages 18-34) self-identified as LGBTQ; 12% of Generation X (ages 35-53); 7% of the Baby Boomers (ages 52-71). The discrepancy likely arises from an increase in acceptance and safety in the culture the Millennials are growing up in. This makes them more likely to come out as LGBTQ. There are probably equal numbers throughout history, but it wasn’t as safe for older generations to come out for fear of violence, rejection, loss of job security, and loss of standing in the community. See Gonella, Catalina. NBC News. March 31, 2017. https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/survey-20-percentmillennials-identify-lgbtq-n740791

(26) Eric D. Huntsman, “Hard Sayings and Safe Spaces: Making Room for Struggle as Well as Faith,” Aug. 7, 2018, BYU Speeches, https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/eric-d-huntsman_hard-sayings-andsafe-spaces-making-room-for-both-struggle-and-faith/

(27) “Questions and Answers.” BYU Speeches, Nov. 14, 2017. https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/m-russell-ballard_questions-andanswers/

(28) https://mormonandgay.lds.org/articles/love-one-another-adiscussion-on-same-sex-attraction

(29) Dr. Fatimah S. Salleh, Affirmation Conference, July 22, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyoXa9z76v0

#David Simmons #lgbt history month #lgbtq+ mormons #lgbtq+ lds #queerstake

73 notes · View notes

ladyherenya · 6 years ago

Photo

Books read in April

Holidays are an ideal time to find oneself with a pile of library books to read. The downside to having gone away with a pile of books is having too many books to write about afterwards.

I also reviewed the short stories I listened to: “Intro to Prom” and “Semiramis” by Genevieve Valentine, “The Shipmaker” by Aliette de Bodard and “When We Were Starless” by Simone Heller.

Favourite cover: Stand in the Sky!

Reread: Once again, didn’t get to the book I’d planned to reread.

Still reading: Ninefox Gambit by Yoon Ha Lee.

Next up: Begin, End, Begin: A #LoveOzYa Anthology. A Thousand Sisters: The Heroic Airwomen of the Soviet Union in World War II by Elizabeth Wein. Maybe Ancestral Night by Elizabeth Bear.

(Longer reviews and ratings are on LibraryThing. And also Dreamwidth.)

Pride by Ibi Zoboi (narrated by Elizabeth Acevedo): Seventeen year old Zuri Benitez is proud of her family, her Haitian-Dominican heritage and the community of her Brooklyn neighbourhood. She’s unimpressed by changes like gentrification or the wealthy Darcy family moving in across the street. This contemporary YA remix twists the events of P&P fit Zuri’s context, allowing the story explore cultural identity, class and dealing with change, and for Zuri’s relationship with Darius makes sense for 21st century teenagers. It’s a cute teen romance but most powerful as a love-letter to Zuri’s hood. The audiobook brought it to life even more vividly.

Stand on the Sky by Erin Bow: Achingly beautiful. It kept making me tear up because while it’s only sometimes sad -- while this is a hopeful and joyous story -- it captures twelve year old Aisulu’s emotions so intensely. When her older brother is taken to hospital, Aisulu is left behind with their herds and relatives and throws herself into raising an eaglet. A fascinating insight into nomadic Kazakhs living in Mongolia and into the challenges and the rewards of eagle-hunting. I love the prose, sense of place and characters; I love Aisulu’s relationships and the way this is her story -- her journey.

Song of the Current by Sarah Tolcser: Caro has grown up on the river with her father, a wherryman and a smuggler. She’s offered her first job in exchange for her father’s freedom -- to deliver a crate, unopened, to Valonikos. But when she opens the crate, its occupant has other ideas about their destination. This YA fantasy shines the strongest in the skills and knowledge Caro has about sailing and about river life. I enjoyed the rest, but some things happened a bit too quickly for me to feel invested.

Undying by Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner: I wasn’t very enthusiastic about Unearthed but this sequel was a lot of fun to read. High-stakes and satisfying. There’s escaping and travelling across Europe incognito and trying to save the world. And it got to build upon what had previously been established, so there’s more nuance and it all felt more believable. After reading these authors’ other books, I was confident that everything would turn out okay. I’d have liked the ending more if the authors had surprised me and there had been a higher cost -- but this is a YA novel and teenage-me certainly wouldn’t have wanted that.

Cobalt Squadron by Elizabeth Wein (narrated by Kelly Marie Tran): I didn’t find The Last Jedi very satisfying but I’m a fan of Elizabeth Wein, so I listened to this story about a mission that Rose, her sister Paige and the rest of Cobalt Squadron are involved with. Knowing that the Tico sisters survive lessened the tension somewhat, but I liked getting to know them better. (I also know that Wein is capable of writing more complex and harrowing stories but that’s not what this one is aiming for.) The audiobook includes Star Wars music and sound effects. I’d love to see music and sound effects used in more audiobooks.

A Question of Holmes by Brittany Cavallaro: Charlotte Holmes and Jamie Watson are attending an Oxford summer program before they start university. Charlotte is asked to investigate a mystery involving the drama society. It’s a quieter mystery than the preceding ones but I am not going to complain about that. I’m happy to read about mysteries at Oxford! Towards the end Charlotte makes a decision which I thought needed to be foreshadowed better and then the epilogue rushed over some things, and I wasn’t totally satisfied. I also found Charlotte’s references to things like “fall”, even though she’s living back in the UK, jarring. Minor-ish quibbles?

The True Queen by Zen Cho: The companion to Sorcerer to the Crown. This took a while to hook me, but once the story got underway, I enjoyed guessing where it was all headed. It is a delightfully diverse Regency fantasy, with some satisfying twists. If I have any quibbles, it’s that I wanted a better resolution for something -- and maybe also just more of the ending? I don’t quite know... I didn’t spend much time analysing my reaction and it was now over half a dozen books ago.

Scorch Dragons by Amie Kaufman: In the sequel to Ice Wolves, 12 year old Anders and his twin sister find themselves on different sides of the conflict between wolves and dragons, but they work together with their friends to prevent a second war. The riddle-solving and questing for a hidden objects reminded me of Deltora Quest, which I enjoyed when I was Anders’ age. A very satisfying sort of adventure.

European Travel for the Monstrous Gentlewoman by Theodora Goss (narrated by Kate Reading): In the sequel to The Strange Case of the Alchemist’s Daughter, Mary Jekyll and Justine Frankenstein set off for Europe to rescue Lucinda Van Helsing at the request of Mary’s former governess, Mina Murray, and receive help and hospitality from people like Irene Adler and Carmilla. I particularly enjoyed the Athena Club’s interjections and digressions in the narrative, and interactions with each other. They make a great team. Kate Reading does a great job with all the voices and accents, which made the story all the more engaging. Even at 1.5 speed (due to 20+ hours of audiobook to get through!) it was easy to keep track of who was speaking.

The Raven Tower by Ann Leckie: I liked it! It’s engaging, intriguing and doing some surprisingly-similar things to Ancillary Justice (which I loved), such as: a first-person narrator who neither human nor omnipotent but has greater awareness and abilities; an interesting use of pronouns -- Eolo’s actions are described in the second-person; and a story about the past eventually collides with the story about the present. I completely missed that this is ALSO themes and variations on Hamlet. That might explain why I found the ending incredibly satisfying for the first-person narrator but I was expecting something more from -- for? -- Eolo.

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black: I borrowed this because it has a delightful map by Kathleen Jennings, it’s a finalist for the Lodestar Award, and I liked the last book I read by Black. It’s an interesting exploration of what it means to love terrible things, with a clear-sighted awareness of their flaws, but I spent most of the story thinking “I hate faeries” and wishing Jude could escape them. Then the plot did its thing, and I had to admit that this is a successful piece of storytelling, if still not quite my thing.

The Austen Playbook by Lucy Parker: Parker’s fourth romance about actors from the West End -- in which Freddy accepts the role of Lydia Bennet in The Austen Playbook, a televised, audience-interactive murder mystery theatre production -- is a lot of fun. Having an interesting setting and plot outside of the romance definitely enhances my enjoyment of the story. This had Jane Austen and Harry Potter references, rehearsal tensions, important family relationships, a mystery involving a (fictional) play, banter, and a lively actress and a grumpy theatre critic who are honest with each other.

The Place on Dalhousie by Melina Marchetta: This is about Jimmy Hailler (from Saving Francesca), now in his mid 20s. But it is equally about Rosie, who meets Jimmy in a Queensland town during a flood, Rosie’s stepmother Martha and the house built by Seb, Rosie’s late-father. It’s a powerfully moving story about grief, friendship and finding family. It’s shorter than Marchetta’s more-recent novels and I finished it feeling oddly disappointed, like it needed to be longer. Then I reread the book the following day, and reconsidered. I’d like more, certainly, but it is a satisfying story as it is.

From Clarkesworld Magazine, narrated by Kate Baker:

“Intro to Prom” by Genevieve Valentine (Issue 133): About four teenagers for whom prom is like a game they play, a way to pass the time. It is intriguing but bleak.

“Semiramis” by Genevieve Valentine (Issue 57): This is Valentine-ishly bleak and yet satisfyingly so?

The worst thing about being a sleeper embedded somewhere long-term was that inevitably, eventually, you started to care. The worst thing about being embedded long-term as an administrator at the Svalbard Seed Vault was that when you inevitably started to care, you started to care about things like proper political geo-temperate arrangement of seeds, and there was just no one else in their right mind who was going to care about that with you.

“The Shipmaker” by Aliette de Bodard (Issue 124): Set in the same universe as The Tea Master and the Detective. It is intriguing but sad, and I wonder if I’d appreciate it more if I read more of de Bodard’s stories and understood the context better.

“When We Were Starless” by Simone Heller (Issue 145): This has been nominated for the Hugo for Best Novelette and I can see why! It’s a hopeful story about survival, questioning what society teaches and finding a way to a better future. There’s also an AI with feelings.

Once, I might have felt out of place, an unwelcome disturbance. But I had left my fear of ghosts behind like an old skin a long time ago, and what I had found instead was the unforeseen, and sometimes pure beauty.

#Herenya reviews books #Melina Marchetta #Erin Bow #Elizabeth Wein #Lucy Parker #Amie Kaufman #Meagan Spooner #Ibi Zoboi #Sarah Tolcser #Brittany Cavallaro #Zen Cho #Theodora Goss #Ann Leckie #Holly Black #Genevieve Valentine #Aliette de Bodard #Simone Heller #Pride and Prejudice #Charlotte Holmes

1 note · View note

theconfusedartist · 6 years ago

Text

Rae Hawke Chronicles

So, since I’ve been getting really far in my playthrough and I’ve been making fanart and fanfic for my wardens and stuff for the longest, but felt like I didn’t have enough meta to consistently write them, I’m just gonna start chronicling the meta of my chars in posts like these so I can refer back to it when I’m writing them.

Name: Rae Hawke

Class: Mage

Specialization: Spirit Healer, Blood Magic

Cantrips: Horror, Sleep, Hex of Torment, Hex of Terror, Heal, Mind Blast

Lover: Isabela + Merrill

Close Friends: Fenris, Varric

Friend: Anders

Weird Relationship: Sebastian, Tallis

Family: Leandra (mother), Bethany(sister), Carver(brother), Malcolm(father(deceased)), Sapphire(sibling(deceased)), Leon (sibling(deceased)), Gamlen (uncle), Ava Amell (cousin)

Before Ostagar:

Malcolm was an elven mage who had grown up in the Kirkwall alienage, chained and taken away from his home at a young age and dragged off to the circle. Due to this, Malcolm was cut off from all his family, friends, and ties he had to his past life, now stuck in a cage where he can’t escape the racism, fear, and prying eyes of the templars. Wishing for the simpler days, back with his family, he began to hate his magic, viewing it as a curse and instead decided to learn more about the Dalish and city elves, hoping to one day run back home to his family to or to the Dalish clans that often passed through Sundermont.

As his hate for his magic grew, the more strict Malcolm became about the use of his own magic, reading all and any books that would teach him better to get rid of his powers. After a failed escape and solitary confinement for a year, Malcolm changed his stance on magic, from then on using it every day, for all the small things and large, in an attempt to view it as another limb that he can control at will, so when the templars cast dispel magic on him, he woudl be able to resist it and continue to defend himself.

One day, after skipping out on a lesson due to his own conflicting viewpoints with his instructor, Malcolm met the Amell family, as a cousin was being brought into the circle in Kirkwall, away from the Amell in the circle of Ferelden. At this time, he met Leandra, who was at first put off by his pride in elven culture, magic, and gruff demeanor, but as she continued to come by to visit her cousin, she ended up running into him more often and started to enjoy his company as she saw that he was willing to listen to what she had to say and didn’t belittle her, treating her as an equal, rather than putting on airs and being false with her.

The more time passed, the less gruff Malcolm became, leaving small gifts where Leandra would find it, things that would bring her luck, fortune, and safety no matter where she went. While it was obvious that it was Malcolm giving her these gifts, he rarely ever did it directly, and would avoid the subject if asked, becoming easily embarassed at his open affections for her.

As time passed, the new knight captain was put into position, Meredith Stannard, along with her close confidante, Orsino who was there advising her and asissting her the moment she was given command. Leandra’s cousin had the misfortune of sporting a crush on Orsino for a time and Meredith had her killed to send a message to any others that tried to befriend Orsino.

Leandra was horrified and feared that soon Meredith’s wrath would extend to Malcolm and urged him to run away with her and to live a happy life with him. While he told her he would take the opportunity if he had the chance, he would, but he feared there was no way for him to get out of the circle, as Meredith was gaining more and more templar and chantry support and keeping a closer eye on all the mages who had passed their harrowing.

Enter the wardens. Leandra knew that there was a warden coming to Kirkwall soon, as the warden had sent an invite to one of the nobles in hightown for a place to stay while they were in the area. Leandra cornered a warden, in polite society and then asked for a private audience with one of the higher ranking wardens. The dwarven warden agreed, and the commander of the grey, Larius told them to make their meeting quick as they had other business to attend to.

Leandra then made her plea to the dwarf, much to her disappointment that Leandra hadn’t wanted this meeting solely for her good company, but was moved by Leandra’s plea, remembering being stuck in the casteless, feeling trapped with no way out. The dwarf then persuaded Larius to help them smuggle Leandra and Malcolm out of Kirkwall, but only if they agreed to the conditions that they set for them.

Leandra then took Malcolm from the circle, under the claims of needing a healer to deal with what was ailing her, and told Malcolm of her plan to get them both out of the city. Overcome with joy, the two of them spent a passionate night together. After a few months of waiting for the wardens to asisst in the destruction Malcolm’s phylactery, the day finally came for Malcolm to leave the circle. Larius reminded Malcolm that he has to do what they tell him, as he gave them his word, and Malcom happily agreed, as the wardens took Leandra out of Kirkwall on a private ship and Malcolm accompanied the wardens to the Vinmark Mountains as part of their business.

Seeing that Malcolm would have to use demons and blood magic, he refused to continue, claiming that he wouldn’t lower himself to blood magic, and the wardens reminded him that they still had Leandra with them and they could hide her away in a place he would never find her, and silenced Malcolm’s further protests with the news that Leandra was pregnant (Rae) and that he wouldn’t want to jeopardize the life of their unborn child. So, Malcolm reluctantly agreed, and kept the magic that held Corypheus bound for a few more years with his blood, then going off to Leandra, hoping to put it all behind him and that his children would never inherit the curse of his magic.

Malcolm and Leandra Hawke gave birth to one child (Rae), two years later a set of twins (Bethany and Carver) and then four years later gave birth to another set of twins (Sapphire and Leon). Save for Carver, all of the children born of Leandra and Malcolm were mages. Rae and Bethany were taught the proper way to use their magic and be at peace with it, but Sapphire and Leon, seeing the hate and problems that magic had brought the family denied their magic and instead took up theft and rogue activities in the alienage that they lived nearby.

The Events of Ostagar:

Bethany, Sapphire, and Leon stayed behind with Leandra and Rae went to see Carver off to the army in Ostagar, but after learning that the army was outnumbered and not well planned, Rae decided to stay for the battle to watch Carver’s back.

It was good that she did, since the fighting kept going on after the torch was lit and no reinforcements came to aid them, Carver was willing to stay to the last breath to fight against the darkspawn, but Rae convinced him that it would be better to die after a long life than for a king smeared on the ground and a battle already lost.

Rae and Carver managed to make it back into Lothering, where Sapphire and Leon had snuck off to see scout for any ways out of Lothering, while Bethany and Leandra packed. Carver helped set up the larger of their belongings, while Rae went to the local inn to get supplies, only to walk into the fight between the late grey-warden commander, who was fighting against Loghain’s men with the local chantry sister, Leliana. Not wanting to get involved with the absolute chaos going on in the inn, Rae didn’t bother to stick around or talk to any of the wardens (of those that were present, Anya Aeducan, Natya Brosca, Ava Amell, Ayre Surana, Cece Cousland, and Alistair) as she went out to gather as many herbs as she possibly could, snatching reagents as she tried to avoid all the fights the wardens were causing all over the town. After witnessing the wardens kill a number of attacking towns members and darkspawn that had swarmed the gate, Rae then set up wards and traps around their home as they got ready.

While this did later give the family enough time to escape Lothering with their lives, via an off road pass that Sapphire and Leon found, they managed to escape. On the road, the family decided to go to Kirkwall for shelter, as Leandra believed they would be returning to nobility, and soon after encountered Aveline and her husband, Weasley, who had detoured from his mission to deliver a message to Denerim for the right of Annulment in the wake of hearing about the events at Ostagar.

The family and new companions stuck together and protected each other from the darkspawn that continued to surround them and entered into an open plain to scout out for any other routes to Gwaren, only to be attacked by an ogre.

Sapphire and Leon, the two closest to Leandra, struck the orge first. Sapphire went in to attack the weak spots between the joints on the ogre’s leg, while Leon shot arrows at the ogre’s head, but neither of their attacks were affective. Sapphire was grabbed then crushed in the hands of the ogre, which then after used her dead body to smash Leon to death. Leandra barely managed to survive the onslaught, in shock at watching two of her children die in front of her.

Rae, foolishly charged at the ogre, swinging her staff wildly and beating it over and over again, casting horrible waking nightmares on the brute and taking advantage of it’s inability to attack, Carver and Aveline dealt with the other darkspawn as Bethany gathered what was left of the bodies of her siblings and escorted her mother and Weasley as far away from the fighting as possible. Enraged, Rae Hawke used blood magic for the very first time, using it to rip apart the ogre limb by limb. This took an extreme effort and Rae was no longer much use in the fight, nearly collapsing from intense mana and blood loss and the darkspawn overwhelmed them.

Before they were killed, a dragon swooped in, killing the surrounding darkspawn and revealing to be the witch of the Wilds, Flemeth, who seemed very interested in helping them out should they carry an amulet back to the free marches with them.

Leandra, blamed Rae for the death of Leon and Sapphire and refused to speak to her on the way to Kirkwall, Carver couldn’t bear to look at her after hearing her sob in the lower holds one night, and Bethany was very much unresponsive to the events around her, and didn’t interact when pushed. Rae had to carry Bethany off the boat, as Carver and Aveline bore what little they had left as the Leandra stumbled on along them, only to learn that refugees were being turned away at the doors.

Refusing to let this stop her, Rae stormed in, demanding that the captain find their uncle Gamlen Amell to come and get them. After a bloody disagreement with other deserters, in which Rae revealed her magic power, the captain agreed to let them stay in the gallows while they wait for their uncle to arrive.

Three days later, Gamlen gives them the opportunity to get into Kirkwall either by Athenril the smuggler or Meeran the raider, who would pay their way to get into the city. After meeting with the both of them and having an internal disagreement, they eventually voted on signing on with Meeran as none of them were comfortable with smuggling, had any sort of lockpicking, and no stealth abilities whatsoever, and it helped that they could explain away explosions in the heat of battle.

And so, they committed a murder for pay and let the blood on their hands pay the toll to the city of chains.

#rae hawke #dragon age #dragon age 2 #dragon age awakening #hawke chronicle #warden chronicle #this is a lot #i know #but like #this is only the surface of what i have for all of this #like #this is just a fraction

1 note · View note