#'if you don't want them i can try ta find someone else ta take 'em'

[icybreaths]

|| Picrew ||

[dangan-infinity]

The Final Volume - Chapter 2 Post

Whether it was harder to find a book that called to you or run from it, you all eventually managed to complete your task. Where the shelves had spun off into infinity before, a familiar red door appeared in one of the aisles. Word spread quickly, and soon you'd all assembled before it. Time to move on, as always.

The handle turned without resistance, and the churning wasteland stretched out before you. Another bridge, another car ahead. Maybe that one would give you some way to end Neko-Neko's game. Was that what you were hoping for? Were you hoping for much of anything, at this point?

Either way, you found yourself passing through without hindrance, the air outside the Train a little warmer on your face. 

At least, most of you.

With a faint sound only vaguely reminiscent of slamming into a wall, Jack marched straight into something that bounced him and only him back into the library. He stumbled but stayed on his feet and tried again, a little faster—but the result was the same.

Perhaps it’s Viper’s guilt at burning the checkout register, perhaps it’s something else entirely, but hearing Jac—no, Jagal, trying his hardest to take the books, she knew she had to try and do something. Maybe she didn't know why keeping these books was so important to him—but she could hazard a guess, after they’d snooped so much into his life. His mother, his father, his sister especially… it had to be hard for him. To be forced to think about them again. And once again, she’d messed up someone’s chance at healing. 

“Hey—” He bounced back from the door, and she reached forward, just lightly gripping onto his bag. “Jagal—” Maybe he’d listen if she talked to him. The true him, not… Jack. Worm her way in there, she knew it could go very badly. Very, very badly. But equally, she wanted him to understand that she wasn’t out to hurt him. Not at this stage.

Jack warily tugged his bag out of Viper's grip. How did she know his name? Had she—

"...."

No. Absolutely not. It must've just come up somewhere else, at some point. Not like it was his most tightly-guarded secret.

“I don’t think they’ll let ya take ‘em wit’ ya—I-I can ask. But ya prob ain’t gonna be able t’.”

Jimithy stepped up, as unamused as ever.

"Already told both of you, you can't check out a book that doesn't have a register. A real one."

"And you can't leave with a book you haven't checked out. Put it back." He grimaced. "Or on a return cart, fine. But you're not leaving with that. Don't waste any more of our time."

Viper picked at a thread on the end of her glove. “It’s… prob best ya leave ‘em here anyway. I dunno if ya’d want ‘em ta get hurt… damaged…’n all.” Viper raised her gaze to him—having tilted it to the floor. “Look, I’unno if I’ll get anywhere. An’ I know ya gonna try’n act like ya rejectin’ every bit’a niceness. But I wanna know ya. An’ I don’t care how much ya try’n stop me.”

Tag-teamed, huh? It was true, Jack didn't have any registers, and the train out there couldn't be safe for a book unless he never tried to open it. Would being damaged hurt them? Surely not, if they were already dead, but...

"....."

"Fine."

He withdrew a slim volume from under his hoodie and set it gently on the floor. Not even the return cart, huh.

"Not like I'm much 'f a reader, anyway."

He stepped through the door, this time without any kickback—apparently that was the only one he'd had. Those of you who hadn't made it past before all the ruckus followed him out.

Even after all that, it was just back to the usual march. Everyone onto the bridge, onto another door...

Everyone. Right?

The fastest walker had already laid hands on the next door by the time you realized your head count was down one. It didn't take long after, though, to find Jack back at the library doors, propping them open with one hand. He swept a look across you all, hesitating briefly at Viper. But only briefly. With a swift step, he was back on the carpet.

"I'm not leaving her again."

The doors slammed shut before anyone could even think about getting in the way. The handle spun with a ratcheting noise and locked back into place again. Anyone trying to turn it wouldn't succeed.

...Ah. Well.

Considering the party involved, it was hard to feel bad about leaving him behind. A relief, if anything. Though you couldn't be sure exactly how this place worked, if he could still come after you later... Maybe it would have been more of a relief if you were sure he'd die in there. 

Not... not that you wanted a person to die! But, well, if it had to be anyone...

"Jack? The game isn't over yet...! I-I can't guide you home if you're not here, nya..."

"Eh, it'd be too obvious if he did the next murder, anyway."

"We're sure the rest of ya can do better by yourselves!"

"B-but there isn't any food or water in that car! As his Stationmaster..."

"That's his own problem. We don't gotta call every single death a murder if it ain't one."

"We've wasted enough time here, don'tcha think? Onward!"

"........"

Despite the particularly split personality at play, Neko-Neko still gestured expectantly at the next car. No more dilly-dallying on your part.

No reason to, anyway. Whether it had locked automatically or Jack was manually blocking it, the library door wasn't about to open. Was it even your business to keep trying? If none of you would be blamed for him choosing this fate, why try to save him? He certainly would've done no such thing for you.

Something still felt rotten in your stomach as you moved forward.

[Forum Post]

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Tommy

Ali: Now on the coach Ali: How's Ro been? Ali: Tried to give her as much space as poss Tommy: I'll give it a minute before I let ma know, yeah? Give you some space too like Tommy: Proper shut down. Standard Tommy: She ain't said a word to none of us Ali: Cheers Ali: Been a fucking event, don't think even Ma can top the drama but not dying to find out Ali: I thought as much 😟 Ali: I don't think there's much to be done but be there when she's ready though, right? Ali: idk, plenty of friends cried on these shoulders but never Ro over this, its new ground Tommy: You're alright Tommy: I reckoned as much when she flew home Tommy: Like I've been in with tea but I'm blatantly juggling cups and nothing else Tommy: She ain't about my efforts Tommy: Offered to dance battle him and she didn't even laugh Ali: Tah for being tea boy though, more necessary and appreciated than it might seem when she's catatonic Ali: to be fair, that isn't funny, babe 😜 Tommy: Giving it a go Tommy: x 2 like Tommy: oi I'm well funny Ali: 💚 Ali: hmm Ali: i hope that's not your aim w this theatre school lark Ali: standup you ain't Tommy: Laugh it up or you ain't getting your welcome home cupcakes honey Tommy: 🌟 baker I am Ali: tears of a clown baby bro Ali: 'cos bet mary berry herself didn't whip up anything for your arrival only days previous Ali: that's da Ali: mum is OBVS paul Ali: the accent, the blue steel, the unnecessary harsh judgment Tommy: 😂 Tommy: The cupboards were bare before yours truly showed up to help with the big shop Tommy: Working my ballet body without rest here Ali: wanna have a fab summer not a flab one darling Ali: only thinking of all the money they ain't had to put into your training #datscholarshiptho Tommy: Put your claws away if you ain't aiming them at a diff blonde lad Tommy: That'll be why I'm shameless fave not cause none of yous are about Ali: seriously don't Ali: he better square up when we're in that car park Ali: if the teachers don't get him first...you won't believe the fucking scandal blatantly occurring rn Ali: obvs 😘 'til Bea and Fraze become the big ballers they wanna be and start paying it back Ali: all 'bout that dolla Tommy: if you heard that lad, gotta post up 🥊 Tommy: someone better smack that cunt Tommy: Spill it sister, how is he on worse behavior? Nearly a proper skill at this point Ali: I plan to Ali: just followed Carly into the fucking cupboard bog, like Ali: in what world are you not getting caught Ali: we're in a fucking tin can Tommy: ERRR Tommy: Your Carly? Tommy: she can do better Ali: I been telling her Ali: best believe Ali: can't drag her out like time out bitch Ali: he's a disease s2g Ali: every fucking girl I know Tommy: 💔 not about that for her Tommy: Every girl except you? 🤔 suspect Ali: nah Ali: don't need to tell you he treats her like shit, duh Ali: ☕ Tommy: let me at her inbox tbh Tommy: not having this Tommy: she's a cutie Ali: do it Ali: meddlin' gay who smugly knows best defs a better stereotype than jealous ex Ali: 😣 no tah Tommy: Valid Tommy: Your eyes ain't gone green though, have they? Tommy: If this is a triangle, or love square tell me now bitch Ali: Bitch Ali: how dare you do me down like that Ali: Nah, I just want her to be happy Ali: and ain't happening with that cunt Tommy: Don't you reckon she knows that Tommy: She was happy with you but that went how it went maybe she's not looking for it to be like that again Ali: Oh, so I just let her fuck her life up Ali: polite smiles from the sideline like SOOOOO happy for you babes, what a man! Ali: Pfffft 😒 Ali: be a better gay Tommy: Nah but putting yourself out there for the real shit is such a THING Tommy: I get it Ali: So dramatic the lot of you Ali: not gotta get a pug and a mortgage Ali: if you ain't going out there tryna be happy every day every way Ali: what's the point Ali: a madness Tommy: Maybe she's all out of trying after putting up with your high maintenance arse for so long ☕ Tommy: 😂 Tommy: Nobody's bringing their best for that basic fuckboy Ali: 🖕 piss off hair product Tommy: Like you take any less time putting together your 'effortless' lewks you faux hippie Tommy: Don't be coming for my crowning glory Ali: Bleurgh Ali: forgot how much of a bitch you were Ali: when you going back again? 😘 Tommy: We've all seen you #bringitforberlin Tommy: Not that I'm jealous nah Tommy: But how was it? Drama aside Ali: 👼 Don't push me down the stairs, watching my back now like 👀 Ali: It overshadowed everything lowkey but yeah Ali: still ace Tommy: You'll bring it back around when you flatten Drew Ali: 🍑👏 him Tommy: 👑 Tommy: what are we gonna do about Ro and Carly though? 🤔 Must focus Ali: soz, my booty has that affect Ali: but seriously Ali: I am fresh out of ideas... Ali: maybe he's like Samson and we need to give him a buzzcut Ali: break the spell Tommy: or shove a bowl on his head and ✂ Ali: ain't far off Ali: ☕ it ain't that cute a cut Ali: its just shiny and blonde, snap out of it ladies! Tommy: Honestly Tommy: Meena got all the looks and that's the tea Ali: Oooooooooh! 😉 Ali: No argument tho even if you're 😍 Tommy: SHUT YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU TALK TO ME ALISON Tommy: She's just better than him very HIGHKEY Tommy: Take it up with our man JC Ali: 😂 Ali: Bless Ali: so sweet Ali: and finally Ali: a matrimony we can all get behind Tommy: excuse me he made me and her both queens Tommy: too fabulous for your hetero baiting of the audience Ali: sure jan Ali: can't fake that chemistry Ali: told you, you're a shit actor Tommy: Take a step back Marsha if you don't want me coming for your weave Tommy: You reckoned on your ex a few back? Marlene would blatantly kill Drew no questions Ali: 💅💄 jealousy's a disease, get well soon bitch 😷 Ali: now you gay baiting! Tommy: 😂 Ali: Let karma sort him out Ali: Ro's well out of it Ali: Carly, I hope, knows what she's doing, even if I don't fuck with it Ali: he ain't gonna 💔 Tommy: Yeah Tommy: Still, drink and debrief when you get home? Tommy: I wanna hear how the teachers throw down Ali: fosho Ali: dog or you SO 100% G.A.Y. now you refuse to go anywhere that ain't flying at least 2 rainbow flags at all times? 😉 Tommy: 🌈 or bust Tommy: not gonna be Ro's scene but if you wanna bring Carly that cunt isn't gonna set foot in such hallowed ground Ali: A different concept for scared straight but I'm with it Ali: I'll ask her Ali: got a party dress I didn't get to debut, gotta save something for the home crowd, like Tommy: I'd watch THAT show Ali: wouldn't we all Ali: so much teen mum to catch up on, you best not have watched it without me! Tommy: Not trying to get struck down ta Tommy: That fury's all for Drew Ali: unless you've deleted all the recording like ur burning after reading, you're alright kid Tommy: Honey I know what's holy Ali: thank God someone does Ali: Drew getting kicked straight to hell and off this bus if he don't chill Tommy: They still going? Tommy: Ugh Ali: Nah Ali: Laoise and her crew dobbed, which fair enough literally no one needs it, doubt they got started before the teachs' were yanking them out Ali: if they had handcuffs Drew would be chained to his seat rn no lie Ali: citizen's arrests and full-scale riot behaviour going down rn from everyone slating Carly Tommy: omhg Tommy: I hope someone's streaming Tommy: Gonna send my girl 💚🍀 Ali: no doubt Ali: reckon we might have to make an emergency stop Ali: couldn't even make the trip home Ali: really lads REALLY Tommy: And I thought my school was full of drama queens and kings Tommy: Christ alive Ali: honestly Ali: got nothing on the common people Ali: i'm so over it Ali: gonna knock myself over the head in a minute so i don't have to deal Tommy: I'd suggest a sing song but don't reckon that'll cut it Tommy: Call me a bad gay again but Tommy: Never hear you over the war cries like Ali: 😂 if there was ever a moment for kumbaya Tommy: If they'd let you keep your 🎸 you'd be thriving Tommy: Yeah I heard about that casual confiscation Tommy: Weapon in more ways than one though, lads Ali: THANK YOU Ali: how we gon' play for peace now Ali: gonna have to get real happy clappy Tommy: 👏stop👏 slutshaming👏 carly👏 Tommy: End with a mexican wave that knocks that cunt out Tommy: She alright? Tommy: I just saw a flash of Ro, safe to say she ain't Ali: I mean, as much as they're all just using this as an excuse to do that Ali: lowkey have a point on this one Ali: why here and why now Ali: its disrespectful Tommy: Talk to her Tommy: Someone's clearly keeping Ro in the loop somehow, is that likely to be her? Ali: Idk Ali: I don't think its her style Ali: she isn't doing it to be malicious to Ro but yeah, idk why she is Tommy: Is she proper 💘 on Drew Tommy: 'Cause lord Ali: How could anyone be Tommy: I have literally no clue Tommy: But Ro's not 💔 about her German accent or whatever Tommy: It's all about him so there's gotta be something we're missing Ali: Oh, that ain't about him Ali: about a lot of things but him being a vessel for her intimacy issues and insecurities is just one of 'em Tommy: So he could've been anyone? Score - 1 for Romeo Ali: Any dickhead who's not gonna make it real on his end and ruin the fairytale, yeah Ali: dime a dozen Tommy: ☕ Ali: safe to say he's fucked the narrative still tho Ali: although, has he? 'cos secretly feeds into the 'i'm wrong and strange' deal we all know is there Tommy: Savage Tommy: But accurate Ali: I know Ali: Die before I said it to her face, like but Ali: makes me worried if she needs to prove that theory right again he could make a reappearance Ali: everyone loves a bit of self-destruction Ali: can't judge but I am Tommy: Samsies Tommy: Fuck's sake Tommy: This family Ali: Rocky the only one with a healthy functioning relationship tbh Tommy: The realest Tommy: Even ma's met her match in ro rn though Tommy: She's lowkey freaking me out and I'm used to you weirdos Ali: Explain Ali: I've seen her at her freakiest, remember, so are we talking worse? Tommy: True maybe I'm just out of practice Tommy: Ghost like vibes catching me off guard Ali: We'll have to keep an eye on the food Ali: she doesn't eat much, and never in front of any of us now Ali: but I can tell when she's had something Ali: make sure we're not hungerstrike vibes again Tommy: I reckon she'll be alright-ish when you get home Tommy: Much as she ever is, you know Tommy: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Tommy: She's not gonna want to go to hospital or any of that shit Ali: Yeah, you're right Ali: I'm being dramatic, it's catching Tommy: 👑 Tommy: Bea will be if she sees her Tommy: Jesus take the wheel and spare me that Ali: 😬 Ali: can hear the 'I told you so' from here Ali: we're all thinking it but shh Tommy: Inside voices like we do at least Ali: Never know Ali: might be the motivation she needs Ali: Bea disappointment Tommy: Oh snap Ali: You know it works Ali: on Fraze too 😂 Tommy: 😂 Tommy: Yeah

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Tess

Ali: Ro just left Ali: She said she was going Home so keep a watchful eye out please Tess: What about you? Ali: I've got obs every hour, I'm good Ali: Reckon we'll be fit for discharge tomorrow morning Tess: I don't like you being there on your own all night Ali: I'm fine, there's a wardful, party central like Ali: You gotta look after the others Ali: Might need to commandeer the big room until Singapore Ali: I'll think of a way to make bunking in with Tom worthwhile for Rock and him Tess: You know what I mean, kiddo Tess: The others are fine and your da's sorting out the rooms as we speak Tess: No worries Ali: Good Ali: Good stuff Ali: I'm sorry Mum Tess: I know you are Tess: He's the one that needs to be. More than you Ali: Wasn't exactly part of his master plan, I'm sure Ali: we know its all on me, you were right before Ali: I was being selfish and chicken shit and not only did it mess up Ro like you said Ali: but it really fucked me over too Ali: Boo hoo Tess: He doesn't have one, it's half his trouble Tess: I didn't wanna be right Tess: Rarely do in truth Tess: I've got Ro, you watch out for yourself and the little bab Tess: We can switch whenever Ali: I don't know about that, clearly I've fucked something up royally for him Ali: I should've known better, been better Ali: It wasn't meant to happen Ali: what kind of life is she going to have Ali: and the others too Tess: He did that himself. You didn't get pregnant on your own Tess: You did know better that's why you made him put something on the end of it Tess: And you will be better too, 'cause that girl needs you to be Tess: She's got a family that loves her, she could do worse Tess: They all could Ali: We used protection Ali: why has this happened, mum? its not fucking fair Ali: yeah but she has someone who resents her existence too and i can't stop it Ali: and what if rio and junie lose caleb and all that family for good Ali: because of me and this stupid mistake Tess: I know, baby but life ain't never been fair to none of us. All we can do is try and balance up it up so the shitty end of the stick isn't the heaviest Tess: You can do that Tess: As for the others, say what you want about Caleb, and I have, but he loves the bones of them kids Tess: He won't leave them even if he leaves you Ali: Yeah Ali: You're right Ali: Again Ali: Take it whilst you can 'cos I won't be saying it once I'm out this hormonal state Tess: I've got a while yet then Tess: But yeah Ali: I just feel like the worst person in the world Ali: not only for what I did and what I didn't say Ali: but because, as much as I love her with everything I have Ali: I still can't help but regret her...being her, being his Ali: Don't tell anyone but I thought you might understand because of Ronnie Tess: You ain't though, you're not even the first person to make this mistake Tess: I won't tell anyone because I do understand Tess: Love can be enough, more than, but when it isn't, fucking hell Tess: Not a regret I wanted for you. Or me. Like Ali: I know but Ali: it feels wrong to even call it a mistake, like I'm putting that on her when Drew's already throwing enough negative energy her way Ali: I don't want her to feel it, any of it, ever Ali: but it WAS a mistake...and IS, I can't change it Ali: even with love Ali: how am I ever going to sit there and act like she was planned and wanted and that I loved Drew when I didn't Ali: at least you loved Ronnie's Dad Tess: I was a kid Tess: I didn't know what love was Tess: Not until her Tess: Don't lie to her. You don't need to be as blunt as that about it 'course but don't give him credit he isn't due, she won't thank you for it Tess: You can't change things for yourself but you can change how it'll be for her, make plans about and for her Tess: Tell her you love her and she's wanted, 'cause when you look back on this later, whatever happens, as long as you keep her you won't wanna change it for the world, none of the good memories Tess: Give her them Ali: But I'm just a kid too Ali: and I really love him, Mum Ali: I know Ali: its going to be so hard Tess: I know, and I'm not trying to make you grow up faster than you already are but it was different for me Tess: I didn't use protection 'cause nobody told me about it Tess: I wanted a family 'cause I didn't have one, no love, not proper like Tess: I had my head in the clouds and up my own arse Tess: You have so much more about you, Ali Tess: Not only the IQ Tess: And he's different too, whatever brush I tried to tar him with, he ain't Ronnie's da Tess: It'll be hard and you'll do it anyway, both of you, whatever happens Ali: That makes sense Ali: It wasn't all your fault either Ali: you know that, right? Ali: Thanks Ali: Got to, I know that, of course Ali: I just feel like all I've been doing is apologising and rightly so but I'm dying here too Tess: Yeah it was Tess: I wasn't young enough to pull that shit of not owning none of it Tess: There's a lot of shit I could've done different, should've too Tess: Let yourself feel it. You're not gonna get nothing else done 'til you do and when Caleb shows his face, which he will, you need to be ready for it Ali: Yeah but not all of it Ali: You gave me the talk, like, can't put you on my shit list like your Dad Ali: I don't know how I'm going to tell him Ali: but I did manage to tell Ro so, I know I can Ali: but fuck Tess: Yeah and you heard me, that time, you used protection Tess: That'd be the least of what my da is on my shit list for but whatever Tess: It'll just happen, same as this Tess: You can handle it and he'll have to Ali: Well no but if we're keeping score..lol Ali: He shouldn't have to though Ali: She shouldn't have Ali: ugh its so fucked Tess: None of you should have to but you are Tess: If I could take it on instead I would Ali: Gotta get my big girl pants on Ali: not that I wanna have any material touching down there yet Ali: gonna nick a few of these fashionable backless numbers Tess: Take what you can get, my love Tess: How'd the little 'un find it, not too stressy, yeah? Ali: Yeah, she's sound, hilariously Ali: No drama of that variety, unlike the last time Tess: Have a few more and they'll be falling out Ali: Probably not, eh? Ali: Shame Ali: Fancied breaking your record Tess: Don't even joke Tess: I've only got so many hands, ta Tess: And a doting nan rep to keep up Ali: I'm not Ali: that's the real tragedy, never mind you stocking up on bribe sweeties Tess: There's still a load of time Tess: You're not 20 yet Ali: Not if I'm about to be dumped Ali: I don't want them with anyone else like Tess: You don't know what'll happen Tess: Look at me, didn't expect to meet your da and have you lot Tess: And you can't speak for Caleb 'til he's had a word himself Ali: Yeah but Ali: c'mon Ma Ali: think we both know what's gonna happen Ali: Can hardly blame him either Tess: We've both been wrong before Ali: Never! Tess: Whatever you say Tess: Ain't gonna kneecap you rn Ali: Much obliged Ali: but seriously Ali: I'll leave you to toddler wrangling Rio now Ali: hahahaha Tess: Your son's the one Tess: He misses ya Tess: Fussy bugger Ali: Bless him Ali: Be Home soon Ali: swear I'm not milking being waited on hand n foot like Tess: If you didn't you wouldn't have a home to come back to Tess: Casually disowned for being a tit Ali: Ha Ali: Odlly not in the mood, got things to do Ali: You can tell the others as much as you see fit Ali: I'll fill 'em all in when I see them Tess: Fair enough Tess: See you tomorrow like Tess: Look after yourself you pair Ali: Will do Ali: not gonna ditch your precious grandbaby and dash like Ali: TTFN

[punkscowardschampions]

Fraze & Ali

Fraze being a real cunt

Fraze: Sort it out for fuck's sake. Ali joined the chat 101 minutes ago Ali: Nah, youse the ones having to deal with her, so I shan't Fraze: Yeah I am so stop being a twat. Fraze: Or stay round Caleb's and really do ma in. Ali: 😂🖕  Unlucky Ali: And I am, I'll drop the kids round at some point so youse can see them but I've got shit to do so I won't be staying Fraze: Big of you. Fair dues though throwing a tantrum can be an all dayer when you're such a brat. Ali: Boo hoo, you're the one crying to me 'cos you can't stomach her for five seconds Ali: Give a shit, Fraze, this doesn't involve you Fraze: I was trying to appeal to you 'cause it's Christmas and dad wants you there but fuck off then. Ali: That's the spirit Ali: Why would I wanna be there? I'll see dad, and everyone else who isn't being mad cunty, in my own time Ali: I've got no need to commit to another day of this shite Fraze: Keep being a selfish cunt it's not like I want you there after you threw me under the bus calling me one of ma's failures Ali: Yeah? Glad I won't be missed then, no hurt feelings all round Ali: And go to ma for comfort, she'll happily tell you the truth will set you free on that score Fraze: I'm not the one whose proper hurt. She is. You don't give a shit but the rest of us do. Do me a favor and gimme a time you're coming so I can be out. Ali: Well she ain't the only one but the only one that matters, right? Ali: Then console her with how much of a success you are, console yourself whilst you're at it Fraze: Fuck you. You're such a spoiled bitch. You're hurt 'cause what she told you to man up and tell Ro Drew's a cheating scumbag woe's you Fraze: Just 'cause you feel guilty no need to make ma feel it worse Ali: I'm not the one crying 'cos I've not got my way here Ali: Its hilarious you believe everything she tells you 'cos that ain't the conversation I had with her Ali: Like she needs any help with her guilt complex Fraze: Aren't you? Ruining christmas 'cause you didn' t get your way for once ain't no better. Fraze: I'm surprised you wanna bother bringing your kids around if she's such a shit mum Ali: Who's ruining anything? She doesn't want me there, you don't, like I said, I'll make the effort to see the people who want to see me too Ali: Well I'm all for second chances, even if she thinks they're bullshit Fraze: Act like it then. Give her one. Ali: I am. Ali: She hasn't taken it yet Fraze: You haven't offered it. All you've done is avoided her Ali: That's how you see it. You don't live here, don't act like you're involved in this family any more. She sees me multiple times a week, she's had ample opportunity, I'm not the one hiding Fraze: Neither do you. Until Caleb upsets you and you come running back. You see her too. Why's it all on her? Ali: Grow up. Ali: I'll make myself and my children homeless, shall I? Ali: Not all of us bum the moral high ground as much as you, you moron Ali: Because its never on her Ali: She needs to learn to apologize when she's the one in the wrong, its not hard Fraze: You're the idiot that needs to grow up. Fraze: If its so easy do it Fraze: You can't even own the shit you said Fraze: Except her to kiss your feet though don't ya? Fraze: Hypocrite Ali: No, because I'm NOT in the wrong Ali: Keep up Ali: I know what I said Ali: and I haven't felt the need to be telling tales on what she said Ali: which is evidently all she's been doing so yeah, I'm good pal Fraze: Fuck you. She didn't rat you out, princess I overheard her telling dad why he's precious fave wouldn't be at the table Ali: Then you shouldn't be so nosy, should you Fraze: Yeah its all my bad. None of yours. Get a fucking clue. Ali: What's this got to do with you? Fraze: Oh fuck all except I wanted a nice family Christmas for my kids like we used to have Fraze: I'm the selfish one of course Ali: You aren't going to find it here Ali: you're not a child, any more, it isn't going to be that fantasy you've got in your head Ali: if you wanted that, take 'em to disney world Fraze: Cheers for the ma impression while she's radio silent Fraze: But don't speak on my childhood or how I raise my kids again 'cause you know less than nothing about either Ali: Please, you're 4 years older than me, don't act like I wasn't there Ali: You don't get to control the narrative Fraze: Why not you are Fraze: You don't get to tell me what's a fantasy Ali: Believe it if it makes you any happier Ali: evidently not Ali: it was what it was for all of us, we can all say how we found it but the stories aren't gonna add up and that'll create dissonance, hohum Ali: it doesn't matter either way Fraze: No it was what it was for you 3 and it was what it was for Joe, Bea and me Fraze: which matters to me Fraze: even if you're an ungrateful cunt these days Fraze: and apparently always were Ali: Yeah yeah yeah, and it was different for ma and da Ali: like I said, no one wants your war stories Ali: its different for us, you all agree, so stop pushing your bullshit onto us making us try to 'learn' from you Fraze: But it's fine for you to spout all your bullshit, yeah? One fucking rule for Ali Mckenna as per Ali: am I asking you to listen? Ali: I don't want to be talking to you, as per, you came screaming at me, like she did Fraze: Fuck off then I'm done Ali: ta ta dearest brother you're really good at this Ali: just like mummy Fraze: I ain't trying to be good to you I don't owe you shit Fraze: I was trying to help ma who I do Fraze: But forget it 'cause she's better off not talking to ya Ali: and I owe nothing to you, you can try and hold seniority over people for a while but don't act surprised when they tire of the lectures Ali: I sincerely hope so Ali: FYI, you're your own person, she'd like you to know that, according to her, you're NOTHING to do with her Fraze: FYI I already know that. I own up to my own shit good and bad. Fraze: If that's news to you suddenly too bad Ali: Hahahaha Ali: no, THAT is news to me Fraze: I thought you had shit to do Ali: Sick burn, some of us can multitask Fraze: Tell someone who gives a fuck Ali: Oh, you are VERY bad at appearing non-plussed Ali: your entire life experience should tell you that Ali: the only person you've got fooled is yourself Fraze: Thanks doctor fraud Fraze: throw that all seeing bullshit lens on yourself Ali: ??? Ali: You screaming at me for however the fuck long=me not WANTING to say sorry Ali: wowee, what a revelation Fraze: Just keep doing what you want. Please yourself like you always do Fraze: I won't see you later Ali: its only what our darling mother would want Ali: she's a bad person, don't you know Fraze: She thinks she is yeah. No thanks to you Fraze: really helping to change her mind ain't ya Ali: Sorry I'm such a disappointment, there you can have that one Ali: I mean it Fraze: Good you should be sorry too bad I ain't the one that wants to hear it Ali: you can tell her yourself Ali: it isn't my job to mother my own mother Ali: she wont give you a gold star but you can whack off to how smug you'll feel Fraze: Fuck you. I mean that. Ali: I don't care Ali: None of us love each other, its all falling apart Ali: I don't fucking care Fraze: You don't love us anymore now you've got your cosy set up that ain't the same thing Fraze: Good luck to you. Ali: Bullshit Ali: Joe's gone, Tommy left as soon as he feasibly could and he's only back 'cos he's got no other option Ali: You're busy pretending you're someone else Ali: and I won't be here soon either, so why delay the inevitable, it's all gone Ali: and I haven't got sod all 'cosy' literally what the hell do you know, all I've got is MY kids Ali: and they need me more than Tess ever did, I was surplus to requirements from the jump there Fraze: Some genius you are. You don't have a fucking clue. Joe's an addict, he's struggling. Tommy has been doing what he loves which meant he had to move. Also not about you sorry princess kitty kat. I'm trying to build a future same as you. It's hardly end of days. Fraze: Sorry you're not the centre of everyone's universe for one sec. Fraze: And everything ain't rosy all the damn time. Big deal. Ali: and why is he an addict? hmm? lets explore that shall we Ali: Bea's the only one building anything Ali: you're on her coattails Ali: its never been rosy that's my fucking point! Ali: and i'm sorry i've got sick of pretending its anything close to rn Ali: because it isn't and we all know it, aren't you all sick of pretending Fraze: That ain't for me or you to say. You'd have to ask him Fraze: You don't know shit about what I'm achieving or not you patronising twat Fraze: Nobody's asking for that except you and none of us are pretending either we're just making the best of what we've got which is apparently optional for you now you're over it Fraze: Life don't have to be exactly what you want for it to be worth a fucking damn Fraze: Stop acting like you're above us all and be with us Ali: Except I can't because he's gone. He's gone and you didn't give us a chance to say goodbye, no, I'll be as selfish as you want me to be, you didn't give ME a chance to say goodbye Ali: Oh yeah, my life is fucking peachy, I'm so great Ali: Everyone fucking hates me, is that the teen angst you want? Well whoop there it is. Everyone in this fucking town looks down their nose at me or outright abuses me on the daily, the kids I'm too young to have have a part-time dad and heaven forbid I act my age, my own family tell me to fuck off and die in a ditch, or tell me what an awful person I am Ali: there it is, yuk it up 'cos I don't know what else you want from me Ali: I have NOTHING to give, I'm so sorry I'm not worth my place in the tribe Fraze joined the chat 29 minutes ago Fraze: Put that and whatever else you gotta on me. It don't matter. I did what I did and I'd do it again. For him. Fraze: Boo fucking hoo. Deal with it. Nobody made those choices but you. Those kids don't need your sob story they need you to decide what the fuck you and Caleb are doing. Together or apart. Fraze: You don't get to act your age 'cause you're somebody's fucking ma now and its on you to let them be kids. Fraze: If you can't hack that you shouldn't of done it. Simple as. Fraze: As for the pity party you're having about us, nobody said anything like that. Calm down or keep projecting I don't care. Ali: Of course you would, no one matters but the sacred three. I know that, no need to remind me when you spend every waking day showing us exactly where we are in the pecking order Ali: This is a joke, what have I said to you, and mum, what is ALL I said Ali: we didn't need theirs, we didn't need yours Ali: but we got it Ali: and yet I'm nothing like my mother and my problems are NOTHING like hers Ali: I dare you to call her a spoilt bitch Ali: Wow, write a pamphlet. Ali: Read back what you've said, I'm not telling you what you said, you'll only say its bullshit. Just read it Ali: I just Ali: Never mind Fraze: You're a joke, Ali. Fraze: Your situation is nothing like ma's. You've had so much support all round. Like fuck are you working 4 jobs you're going to uni, you have multiple people willing to help with your kids and anything else at the drop of a hat Fraze: She had nothing but da. Fraze: I know what I said and didn't say. Spin it how you want just like with whatever mum said. Fraze: I'm not going in circles with you. Ali: That's all your doing Ali: our entire lives is one big circle revolving around them Ali: please tell me how hard she had it again Ali: as if that makes an iota of difference to my struggle Ali: so much support? Ali: I feel it Fraze: It should make a difference to your fucking behavior Fraze: but whatever I'm sick of this and if you can bail so can I Ali: Why? Ali: Why should it Fraze: It's called empathy brainiac Ali: No, it isn't Ali: that's the past, empathy is doing fuck all to change what it was Ali: you show empathy to the people who need it Ali: in the now Fraze: she does still need it in the now Ali: and i don't? Fraze: You get a shit ton of it Ali: WHERE Ali: I'm a joke, I'm a fuck up, I'm a cunt Ali: I'm not doing enough to help Ro Ali: I'm not doing enough for mum Ali: I'm a bad mother who shouldn't have had her kids Ali: there is nothing Ali: I'm not pulling this out of thin air, Fraze Fraze: You're pulling it out of your arse 'cause you wanna feel sorry for yourself and for everyone else to Fraze: You think I ain't been called shit. Made mistakes. We all have including mum Ali: Please do bring it back round to you and mum Ali: continue to prove my point Ali: call me crazy and tell me i'm making it all up Fraze: I didn't say that I said you're making a meal of it Fraze: build a bridge and get the fuck over it Fraze: talk to the people you gotta to change shit Fraze: Or just keep crying to me Fraze: what's that gonna do? Ali: Yeah, silly me for trying to get my own brother to care Ali: that's not how families are meant to work Fraze: I'm still here talking to you ain't I Fraze: you're the one not caring Ali: of course, what a cold bitch Fraze: You wish Ali: no i don't Ali: even if no one respects the fact that i have feelings that can get hurt just like the rest of you do Fraze: Again, literally nobody's ever said that Fraze: we're just trying to get you to tell ma your feelings are hurt Fraze: at least Ali: actions speak louder than words, even though your words HAVE been fucking horrible and you aren't convincing me otherwise Ali: she knows...she's the one who hurt them Fraze: and you hurt hers too Fraze: and Fraze: I don't know what else I can do here Fraze: this ain't even my fight as you said Ali: i know, i was the one who did it Ali: yeah a real impasse we find ourselves in Fraze: Do whatever it is you're gonna 'cause I can't multitask and I do actually have shit that needs doing despite what you think Ali: i was planning to