#'if home is where the heart is then we're all just fucked; i cant remember; i cant remember' from 27

[astranauticus]

once my brain (and my schedule) (and my wrist) lets me draw again uh. VR-LA and MR-SN as Ratoo's song from cult of the lamb anyone

"I have been sitting here for so many years, even her face has faded from my mind, yet I keep searching. Always searching."

[floshav]

i wish i were Heather Hills

part 3 to my rodrick fic ! read pt 1 here

this has been long awaited! Im sorry if my writings gotten a bit rusty :( i'll be more active i swear!!!!

summary: Y/n and Rodrick notice a drift in their relationship. Earlier, Heather swears to become a home wrecker to the two because she just cant stand Rodrick having anyone other than her.

warnings: heavy make-out, fantasising, allusions to future sexual intentions, bitch behaviour, yearning, sexual assault (slightly), crying

Rodrick and y/n havent talked for 4 days. Considering they were usually knee deep in each others business, this was definitely out of the normal.

Y/n sighs inaudibly as the muffled sound of her Chemistry teacher blabbering turned quieter as moments sprang. Yet, amidst the solemn peaceful sound of nothing she struggles to remember where it all went south.

Rodrick looked into y/n's eyes lovingly with something she'd never seen in him before, intertwining their hands together as he signalled for her to get up with him. She stood up reluctantly and took one last whiff of her cigarette before putting it out with the base of her foot. The sound of it going out satisfied her every time. She dragged her ashy boots along the pavement as they walked away from the half broken vending machine, her head in the nook of his shoulder, just the way she liked it.

Heather stood proudly with a smirk plastered along her face, one that no one could consider accusing of something heinous and she wore that with pride. A little something called pretty privilege she'd say. Something clicked in that blonde head of hers. She was going to make Y/n's life reigned over jealousy.

Rodrick grabbed Y/n's cheeks with delicate urgency as if he was almost primitive in his actions. He gave her one soft kiss before seeing that glint in her eyes that made him go crazy. Y/n let out a soft groan as he kissed her hard and long, so passionately she wanted to cry. No one's ever appreciated her the way Rodrick does. Their saliva mixed and fought for dominance while the sounds they produced were so obscene that it made her wet every time she thought about it. His pretty boy moans, his breathless expression, his half lidded eyes and long eyelashes that made her heart skip a beat more than she'd like to admit. Everything about the boy was perfect. No one could ever ruin this moment.

knock knock

Y/n's mirage of fantasies were quickly toppled over when a certain redhead blew her mind back to reality for the 3rd time this week. In the distance she saw Rodrick talking to Heather, funnily the 4th time this week. Her eyes were still puffy as she tried to digest the situation before her but her attention was quickly brought back.

"Hey, Hey! Look. At. Me. I told you to forget about him. He's no good for you y/n." said the messy haired redhead.

These were the words that often left Alex's mouth. Always about Rodrick not being good enough for her, not up to her class. What was he even trying to do?

"But its only been 4 days. Surely things couldn't have gone so wrong is 4 fucking days." Y/n said with anger threaded in her tone. She couldn't stand Alex, Rodrick, or more so Heather. She was somehow winning again. Just when y/n finally got a taste of what she wanted. She managed to ruin her life just like she always did.

"C'mon sweet'eart, its Rodrick we're talking about. Class act asshole."

she remembered the way Rodrick held her head in his chest, so lovingly, so gently like she was a piece of fine china. The way he cared for her when she abused herself. The way he looked into her eyes and called her pretty each time he stared a little too long.

"Rodrick's not like that. He's not an asshole. Not to me atleast" she said as she stared off into his direction again, a certain ache prominent in her heart.

"Please dont lie to yourself. Dont hurt yourself again."

"Why are you even talking to me Alex? You want to fuck me or something?" Y/n said plainly with not a hint of amusement in her features.

Alex's face got red, slightly hot and he felt like he had been caught. But he knew that was not the reason he'd been trying to distract her, though definitely an appealing one now that he's thought of it.

"W-what, No! I just wanted to help you out, a-and get to know you better, seeing you were crying and all." he scrambled

"Well that's very nice of you but let me put it plainly. I don't need help." she said through gritted teeth and red eyes.

Being a people pleaser all her life, she felt satisfied and a tad bit guilty at the way she handled the redhead, but oh well. That wasn't enough to knock Alex down especially after the very attractive bribe Heather gave him earlier that week.

"I'll invite you to all my parties."

"And...."

"Oh for goodness sake Alex- That should be enough to convince you as is!"

"Well... You're asking me to do quite a lot... And not to mention Rodrick's a pretty tough cookie to crumble..."

"Ugh. Fine! And a kiss. One. Kiss." Heather sighed as she rolled her eyes.

"Okay, ill do it." Alex said with glittered eyes.

Heather had presented a very... lucrative offer to Alex to try and break the couple apart, and somehow it was working.

Rodrick being the dumb loser he was, didnt think to ask y/n about the whole situation but could you really blame him?

"Hey Roddy, bout' that drum gig... how about 100 smackaroos per hour? Sound good?" Heather said with fake innocence through batted falsies and glossy lips she just touched up.

100 dollars. He couldn't give up 100 dollars an hour just like that. Also that stupid fucking nickname he hated so so much because he knew how much it pissed you off. He thought of all the things he could buy you, flowers, makeup, books, movie tickets, your favourite candy, the list went on with all the things that would make you happy. His mind was clouded with you, you, you and the way he'd make it up to you for this whole misunderstanding. The loving he'd show you after this was all over. He missed you so much.

"Yea, sure why not." Rodrick said reluctantly as he leaned further back into the brick wall he'd been perched up against. Each rough grain getting caught between his jackets fabric by the force.

"Okay! Perfect." Heather said while holding both of Rodrick's calloused hands in her own delicately manicured ones.

He quickly pulled away before realising that y/n saw the situation unravel for what felt like the hundredth time this week. Heather bounced away with a smile to her pretty face, hips swaying in her mini skirt practically with her ass hanging out.

Before he could explain, Alex blocked his field of view by giving y/n a big fat kiss.

"Woah what the fuck?" Y/n mumbled through his lips as she tried to pry Alex's heavy body off of her.

Rodrick thought back to when Heather mentioned she saw y/n give Alex a peck on the cheek. Rodrick didn't want to believe that she could be so dumb to do it right in-front of him but after seeing this how could he not feel a slight twinge of doubt pull at his heart. Like his pessimistic mindset, things you hope to be true usually aren't and he was pissed the fuck off.

Before he could think straight, he dragged his feet against the pavement, anger laced in his steps as he pushed Alex's scrawny body off of Y/n. Rodrick noticed how glassy her eyes were and wanted to hug her and tell her everything was okay. Nobody would touch her anymore. But Heathers words kept ringing in the back of his head. She doesn't like you anymore. She likes Alex but is afraid to tell you Roddy. So don't believe her bullshit excuses.

"Dude- the fuck is your problem!" Alex exclaimed while shoving Rodrick's chest. His shoes squeaking against the ground.

"The fuck are you doing kissing my girl?" Rodrick said more angrily than he'd like to come off.

"Just stop it! I don't need this to happen right now!" Y/n yelled as her cheeks got red. Rodrick cursed himself for thinking about how pretty she looked when she got like that. Y/n ran off before covering her head with her hoodie into the girls restroom.

"Looks like she doesn't need her supposed man to defend her huh?" Alex said with an annoying smug look.

"Just fuck off you cunt. Don't ever touch her again." Rodrick said before walking away defeated.

Y/n gripped the ledge of the sinks edge, finger pads bruising the surface before sobbing as quietly as she could. She hated all the unnecessary attention crying brought her at school and just wanted to shrivel up and die. Just as things couldn't get any worse, she heard the familiar tone of Heathers voice arise in the distance.

"No like he was sooo in on it. Im telling you girls he's still into me like- Oh." Heather stopped in her tracks as she saw y/n perched up in a position she had always wanted to see.

"Aw, what happened babe." Heather said with the thickest whiff of fake sincerity her voice could put out. Yet y/n wanted it to be real. She wanted Heather to actually feel bad. To apologise for being such a shit person and a home wrecker.

------------------------------------------

Finally i am here to feed you guys with part 3 lol.. im so sorry this took almost a year tf . And thank u to all those who motivated me to keep writing hahaha as cheesy and cringe as that is. Lmk if u guys want a Part 4 ! I also would greatly appreciate requests and prompts in my inbox <3

[itsjustlikeoxygen]

"Hate me, baby, maybe, I'm a piece of art"

27+ Tiffany Blews (pun on Tiffany Blue, absolutely genius) on Fall Out Boy's controversial fourth album Folie a Deux are easily one of the best songs in their discography. Combining everything that makes fob so special in an unforgettable two song run.

27

One of my favorite fob songs period. Genuinely cried when some other city got this song for their Magic 8 Ball suprise song (happy 4 u,, but it should have happend to me :3). This song has one of fob's best lyrics

"If home is where the heart is then we're all just fucked

I can't remember, I can't remember

And I want it so bad I'll shoot the sushine into my veins

I can't remember, the good old days" --- I am going to try to articulate this well but putting the first I cant remember to set up the good old days line is simply genius. I mean, you could interpert it as that or as he can't remember where his heart is, either works honestly and that is genius.

"My mind is a safe, and if I keep it then we all get rich" the way Patrick sings get rich scratches my brain so good. I love the imagery in the chorus, it's not 100% actual imagery of like a phsyical setting it's more metaphorical but it still paints a vivid picture so like let's relax here on the technicalities...

.

.

THE GUITAR SOLO RAHHHHHHHHH

.

Ending the song reiterating "if home is where the heart is" creates a loop that would allow you to play this song for hours on end, but why would you do that when it seamlessly transitions into Tiffany Blews?

Tiffany Blews

Fame sucks!

The concept of not being a crybaby, but being the crybaby. Oh wow, i can feel my long fingernails tapping against my bald head. This song has so experimental compared to what they had previously made. The lyrics are so clever.. they definitely tried to emulate this throughout MANIA with Wilson and in Stardust with Heartbreak feels so good…..But like the lyrics say, this song is a CLASSIC it sounds so timeless and nostalgic at the same time I just love her, she is very gorgeous to me <3

"dear gravity, you've held me down in this starless city"

I misheard this first as darling, then starlit, and finally as starless, lol, love the lil wayne feature!

:) I love how Folie had so many random cameos like Wayne and...... brendon urie...WHATEVR WHATEVA the woke mob cannot take 20 dollar nosebleed away from me

[navybrat817]

Could you imagine, Rockstar!Bucky for a once not under the influence of anything during a show, only fueled by heartbreak because his girl finally had enough after the biggest argument yet. And usually, they fight and make up but she's avoiding him and the other guys girls and maybe even left the tour 🥺😭 But I cant figure out what the fight would have been about to have Bucky up there, pouring his heart out and his band looking on and not knowing what to do. And the fans confused but also loving the vibe 🥺🥺🥺

Look at him! If this is our White Wolf and Luna, I could see a fight happening because of a pregnancy scare. If he were to go down that path, it would be with you. But now? He's scared. You're both having fun and not quite ready for that, especially with him at the height of his career and loving the life he has. He isn't ready to give that up. Out of that fear, maybe he says something he shouldn't have. He regrets it, but expects you to come back after you throw the nearest object against the wall and storm out of his trailer.

You don't.

He'll see you after his show, right?

Not only do you not show, he notices your bag and some of your stuff is gone.

"What the fuck?"

He asks everyone where you went. No one saw you leave. When he tries to text you, they go unanswered. So do his calls. You haven't blocked him, so that has to be a good sign, right?

But you won't answer Steve or Nat's calls either. Bucky figures maybe they're too close to him, so he goes to Alice and Sunshine. No way would you ignore them. They've become like sisters to you.

Except you aren't responding to them either.

Bucky tries not to panic, but something in him breaks when he realizes you didn't take his favorite jacket with you. Were you cold? Did you miss him? Did you hate him?

Instead of turning to a bottle or anything else, he retreats in a bit on himself. The band, all of them, they're your family. And you're his Luna. His everything. How the hell is he supposed to pretend everything is okay when all he wants is you there?

How does he say he's sorry?

He wants your rage. Your passion. Yell at him. Tell him you hate him. He can take it. But your silence? You not being there? He can't handle that.

It's Alice who sends you the video of him on stage with the caption, "I don't know where you are, but we're worried. Just let us know you're okay, please."

It's a song he wrote for you, but it's tinged with sadness that everyone feels. You see worry cross the faces of the other band members when he closes his eyes and pour his everything into the music. He opens his eyes at the end and looks to the sky. You know he's looking at the moon.

Looking for his Luna.

"Come home."

You finally respond back with, "I'll be okay. I always am."

And you will be. You love Bucky and that'll never change. Maybe you'll call him in the morning. Or maybe he'll remember that secret spot you told him about and he'll find you there.

*****

Because who is the White Wolf without his Luna?

He doesn't want to find out.

Love and thanks! ❤️

[ultra-raging-ghost]

I REACHED POST LIMIT SO HERES MY POST FROM 9:20 ONWARD

"Goodbye my three little ones, your father has to go"

"Im sorry chat, i guess ill just speak from the heart. the way i lost dapper and pomme i dont think i really.. had time to process, so losing him like this feels like losing all three of them at the same time"

Visiting bagis... poor zeno fucking died to a rooster LMAO i missed bagis place so fucking bad

searching for pepito.... where is my baby.... where is my little pepito, there pepito is

Bad doesnt really know what to do with himself, hes still sad but richas is like. Officially gone. Which is a crazy thing to process. I was having a hard time dealing with it but i think richas' final goodbye made me feel a lot better about it,it doesnt feel like theres a nail in the back of my brain now, im a little more content with this at least. Wont really be happy about it, but more content with it

We're gonna go leave a richas flower (blue orchid) at bagi's old base <3 just like how we left a cornflower at a place special to pomme.

hehehe agent 18/panks_ is in chat and theyre tormenting bad for fun

Offering pepito the opportunity to visit one last place, bad plans on coming back and visiting a couple final places sometime soon, not tonight but soon. Probably gonna end after pepito picks where to go

pepito cant think of anywhere, bads picking one more place to go

PEPITO TIME AT THE OFFICIAL DAPPER TIME SPOT??? LETS GOOOOO

Pepitos gonna be temporarily dapper while in the official dapper time spot <333

bads back, i got so comfortable in the old house that i forgot we have to leave. Just a wave of sadness washed over me, it feels like leaving home all over again, it feels like we should be able to walk into the old spawn from dappers train station and see pierre and pomme and etoiles again

pomme in chat... assuring bad she and dapper wont be leaving any time soon. Bad promises us he has some really fun stuff hes been working on he thinks we'll enjoy, this journey isnt over

while waiting for pepito we're reminiscing on when he had to triangulate the Dont have Your Gun thing that was playing that he couldnt find LMAO

currently visiting the old subway bad was building with dapper underground.... the new terrain generation generated a FULL end city RIGHT next to it!!!!

gonna visit bobby fields another day, thats another day issue, but dapper wanted to go see it with him lol

Bad found out Lullah and Richas were leaving yesterday, sounds like he didnt know chay was leaving till today

BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOO BOO IS HERE!!!! HELLO BOO!!!!!!

Pepitos playing around in the balloons Boo left <33

Bad: Yeah i remember when pomme and dapper came in one of these end cities and scared the muffins out of me Pomme: ?????? Pomme: bro you were dead Bad: I STILL REMEMBER.......

We're gonna go play Wordlos (or however you spell it) one last time before leaving the old spawn <3 gonna see if we can get it to work!!!

kinda works!!! Kinda!!! It mostly works!!!! gonna play!!!!!

"I am so proud of your spanish uncle bad!!! its a great advance to know how to explain something, its the most important thing"

We're looking at the paintings, this is it for the day. Richas logged off with bads statue painting so hes probably never gonna see that again LMAO "thats why we get screenshots"

Pepitos saying a little goodnight to the ghosties <33 pepitos gonna eat all of us up because we're so cute. "I see everything, too. EVERYTHIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG". Pepitos telling us to rest, eat, and drink water, and do our favorite things. We deserve it, to remember not to be sad it ended but be happy it happened at all <3

Bads planning on streaming tomorrow, hes not 100% sure what we'll be doing but he isnt gonna let this crank his steam

Pepitos planning on getting on tomorrow! or whenever! pepito doesnt know when pepito gets on LMAO

Thats all for todays stream, ending at 10:15, goodnight bad, richas, pomme, and dapper <3

[frogsformax]

Bad Idea Right?

Ex! Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader

——————————————————————————

Its been a year since you called it quits with him. You were his summer fling, he was your first love.

He broke your heart when then video of him making out with some girl at a party got leaked right before your third year. The whole school year was awkward, he tried to console you and apologize and you just completely ignored him. When you graduated you had no clue that you were going to the same college as him.

It wasn’t until you sat down at your lab table in first year physics that he was sat as your seat partner. You wanted to immediately quit college and move to the moon. this wasn’t just some normal ex, this was the man you had lost your virginity to, the man who had seen you puking, bleeding, and crying.

“Haven't heard from you in a couple of months, But I'm out right now, and I'm all fucked up”

but now here you are, walking home from some random frat party, half drunk and missing your shoes. Some guy had tried to take you to a room upstairs but you managed to hit him with your heel and take off, not caring where the other one ended up.

“And you're callin' my phone, you're all alone, And I'm sensin' some undertones”

you picked up your phone to call koutarou, typing in K and clicking the first contact expecting it to be your loud best friend.

“y/n?” a deeper voice asked.

“hey kou,” you said, not realizing this was not bokuto “im out right now and im all fucked up.. and i need you to call me stupid and pick me up because im walking in the direction of kuroos place and god i just miss him” you rambled into the phone, looking around to try and find a street name.

“And I'm right here with all my friends, But you're sendin' me your new address”

“first off, kuroo doesnt live there anymore. second off this is kuroo..” the voice responded making you stop dead in your tracks. “i live at the west building, do you need somewhere to stay?”

You instantly sobered up. “fuck im sorry tetsurou..” you said softly, halting in your tracks

“come over y/n, lets talk..” he asks, getting cut off by you hanging up.

“And I know we're done, I know we're through

“ But, God, when I look at you, My brain goes, "Ah", Can't hear my thoughts”

“fuckfuckfuckfuck…” you mumbled to yourself, thinking about your options.

yninsta - seeing you tonight

ktetsu - yn?

yninsta - its a bad idea right?

ktetsu - come on please, its been a year lets just talk

yninsta - seeing you tonight is a bad idea right?

ktetsu - come see me

yninsta - fuck it its fine

ktetsu - where are you??

“Yes i know that he’s my ex but cant two people reconnect i only see him as a friend (the biggest lie i’ve ever said)”

You walked along the street for a while, eventually calling a taxi to take you there after a few raindrops started to fall.

“Now im getting in the car wrecking all my plans and i know i should stop… but i cant”

suddenly you found yourself standing outside of the west building a bright yellow taxi pulling off behind you, slowly getting drenched in water from the rain that started during the taxi ride. you pulled out your phone and sent him a text.

yninsta - I should probably, probably not

ktetsu - what?

ktetsu - is that you down there?? its fucking pouring??

ktetsu - where are your shoes yn??

ktetsu - oh my god im coming

“i told my friends i was asleep but i never said where (or in whose sheets)”

the thought of what he would say made you frown. he was always so caring and kind last summer, taking care of you. making you prepare for tests, making sure you ate, and taking care of you after amazing sex.

And I pull up to your place, on the second floor, And you're standin', smiling at the door, And I'm sure I've seen much hotter men, But I really can't remember when

the door to the building swung open, kuroo standing there with a towel as he grabs your arm and pulls you inside, wrapping the towel around you and holding you by the shoulders

“what were you thinking?” he asks, sounding frustrated and worried, bending down to look into your eyes.

“My brain goes, "Ah", Can't hear my thoughts”

“i wasn’t..” you muttered back, looking away from him as you shivered slightly. your black mini dress was not providing any warmth in his cold dorm building.

“jesus christ” he sighs, standing up and pulling you against his chest in a tight hug before walking you up to his dorm

“Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex, Can't two people reconnect?”

after letting you change into some of his clothes kuroo sat you on his bed, you mentally prepared yourself to get fussed at.

“yn, are you okay?” he asked, taking your hands in his.

“yeah.. some guy tried to fuck me.. thats how i ended up with no heels..” you said, refusing to look him in the eyes.

“fuck i would have killed him” kuroo muttered, wrapping you up in a hug. “im sorry” he whispered into your damp hair.

“The biggest lie I ever said, I just tripped and fell into his bed”

“for what?” you asked timidly.

“for everything..” he said, pulling you to sit in his lap. “for what happened at that party.. for not apologizing sooner.. for everything..” he said, his voice flattening into an apologetic tone.

you rested your head on his shoulder, making him look down at you. “its okay.. im sorry for ignoring you”

“no don’t apologize for ignoring me, i was an asshole” he laughed, gazing at you with something that looked like love in his eyes. “is this okay?” he asked, nodding his head to where he was holding you.

“Thoughts”

“yeah its okay” you said, snuggling into him. Your body was dwarfed by one of his science olympiad shirts. “youre warm” you whispered.

“lets get you to bed baby..” he said, whispering the last word out of force of habit as he stood up with one swift move. Tucking you into his bed and placing a kiss on your forehead. “goodnight y/n”

“blah”

he walks off to the living room of his dorm, leaving you in his bed. god it smelled so much like him, the sight of him, his touch. You were gonna go feral.

“Thoughts”

“tetsurou…?” you whispered, walking into the dark living room, wrapped up in a blanket.

“yeah baby?” he mumbled, obviously half asleep.

“miss you..” you mumbled, standing by the couch

he stands up, picking you up and carrying you back to his bed, laying down next to you this time.

“i mean it, go to bed” he whispers, holding you against his chest.

“Blah”

[letterbombbreakdown]

if home is where the heart is then we're all just fucked💥i cant remember

[vampireghostlawyer]

just got home from seeing Saw X with @endlessly-vivid and I HAVE SO MANY. SO MANY EMOTIONS ABOUT IT. [spoilers for saw x under the cut]

-THIS WAS FUCKING AMAZING. GENUINELY. PROBABLY MY FAVORITE SAW SINCE SAW 3, AND DEFINITELY IN MY TOP 5 SAW FILMS OF ALL TIME.

-THE REFERENCE TO THE FIRST FILM WHEN KRAMER GETS UP FROM THE BLOOD (?) TRAP THING

-the reveal was SO SO FUCKING GOOD. we obviously know john and amanda survive, but having the kid to keep the audience on their toes and desperately trying to figure out HOW we get to saw 3 after this was great

-THE VICTIMS WERE SO LIKABLE. genuinely this entire cast of victims were acted and written phenomenally. every single one of them, even someone with so little screen time like valentina or a person we're set up to hate like cecilia had SO much character and i was rooting for all of them at the same time. gabriella's performance was especially amazing, but all of them really were great

-on top of being likable, they were also all so humanized. the little details like mateo needing a translation of the tape and gabriella tossing the tape away when she got scared or trying to hit the radiation with the hammer were so great.

-ALSO how close they all got to surviving their traps was so heart wrenching and insane like i was on the edge of my seat every time.

-AMANDA AMANDA AMANDA. she has always slayed, she has always been an indie horror sweetheart but this movie was one of my favorites pieces of her that we've seen. there is so much more depth and incentive added to a lot of her actions in saw 3 now and it is gorgeous. also shawnee smith gave a beautiful performance as always

-THE HIGHLIGHTING OF JIGSAW'S HYPOCRISY CONTRASTED WITH CECILIA'S WAS AMAZING. cecilia, a wealthy white woman taking advantage of those she has privilege over being a mirror to the way jigsaw blames people for systemic problems that are often times out of their control. cecilia in general was a great villain.

-HOFFMAN CAMEO I SCREAMED.

-my one gripe with the film (sorry i love to critique) is the traps. they were all super creative and it was awesome to see an extra level of complexity added to some of them compared to prior traps, but some of them were so anatomically and medically impossible that i got annoyed watching 😭 mateo acting completely normal after removing like two inches of brain matter and everyone having unrealistically short periods to complete their tasks was annoying BUT the traps were all hella cool so i cant even be truly angry. my favorite was probably mateo's. it was the first saw trap in a while to make me wince and definitely one of the traps where i would be using those tools to kms asap instead of actually attempting to survive lmao

-autumn brought this up to me and i agree so much but the return to some of the classic saw editing was so refreshing and nostalgic.

-i have so many other thoughts but this is all i can organize right now. AHHH, 4.5/5 stars, can't remember the last time i was so hyped in a theater

[b1mbodoll]

AAAAAAA OMG DO I HAVE A LONG ASS ASK FOR YOU. MY DATE/NOT DATE HAS JUST CONCLUDED....

So a little back story - I worked with this guy this past summer and like the first time we met I alr liked him. Like he was exactly my type. Like 100%. But I'm super shy (never dated anyone, never kissed anyone, never held hands with anyone) so I never really did anything obvious that I liked him bc I was nervous. We kind of flirted (maybe) a lot near the end of the summer. We texted a lot a lot but he ended up moving up to college for his apartment earlier than expected so we never got to see eachother after our last days of work. There was lots of drama on my end surrounding that trust. Like mental anguish bc I fumbled the bag hard.

Anyways. We start school respectively (I go to school in NY and him in TX) and we don't talk that often, just snap like everyday. But as the semester goes on we reply to each other's stories and have short, friendly convos more frequently. Flashforward to like, a week ago or something. I reply to his insta story and we start talking. He finds out that I'm going home for Thanksgiving and he is to so he asks me to hang out. This is odd bc we weren't close enough as friends for me to think that he would ask to see me.

Anyways again, I'm skipping details bc otherwise I'll never finish this lmao - the date/not date was like everything else we do. Vaguely romantic but could also be friendly. He picked me, we ate dinner and then went ice skating together. He walked up to my door to get me, held open doors for me, and opened the car door to walk me back to my house after we got back. But like - no moves were made. No attempts to hold my hand or kiss me. AT ALL. But like he also complimented my butterfly hair lips like sir 😭😭 idk what you want from me.

But now I'm feeling kind of tired of 6-7 months of not knowing where we stand with eachother. So I texted him afterwards saying "Thank you so much for tonight, I loved seeing you again! Although, I did want to know if it was a date or if it really was intended as just a hangout, bc it did seem like it sometimes? Either way, I'd love to meet up with you again if we're both in town!" He then liked bith of the thank you messages and replied, we definitely should. But then he replied to the daye/not date ask with - I don't know. I'll have to think about it. He then said something about it being more than he anticipated but still good, so idk if that means that it wasn't intended as a date but became one and he enjoyed it or if he meant it as a date but I fumbled the bag (I give just as many mixed signals bc I'm an anxious coward lmao) but it still ended up okay.

HOWEVER, I AM A GENIUS, LIKE RIZZ MASTER 1000. I accidentally left something in his car so tmmr morning he's gonna drive back to drop it off (It's like an hour round trip for him). And tomorrow is the day I will stop being a bitch. I'm gonna tell him that I'm interested but that I also do genuinely enjoy him as a person so like, however he intends to meet up with ne in the future I'll be okay with that.

So yeah. Story time over 🫶🫶🫶🫶 Sorry that it's actually so long but I remember how excited you were so I wanted to let you know how it went 💗💗💗💗

IM ON MY KNEES RN STOP u r so cute and agh!!!!!! i will be needing an update with whatever happens pretty please, honey 🤲

im so ☹️☹️☹️ u guys went ice skating ☹️ that’s so so so so fucking cute!!!!!! that actually is so cute my heart cant take it ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ but no moves being mad.. 🤬 yeah i need to have a stern talking to with this man!!! what r ur intentions with my little angel, you HEATHEN!!! hehe no but srsly dont be anxious sweetheart! i know its hard n way easier said than done, but you seem so wonderful and im sure he thinks that as well! im so glad you had a good time <3

rizz master 1000 has me crying omg ur too silly 😭 but him driving AN HOUR TO GIVE U UR THINGS STOP IT my little heart is so warm :( im proud of u for messaging him and asking for clarification about what the lil hangout was! n pls u r anything BUT a bitch!!!!! ur perfect and i hope things work out well with him!

dont apologize for he length! i love anything romance so inwas looking forward to this update!!!! wishing u the best of luck with him <3 mwah

[meteormoss]

This is my first listen

WAIT I JUST DID THE MATH ODYSSEUS WAS AWAY FROM HOME FOR LIKE 13 YEARS

Cuz the war was like 7 and it took him like 6 to get home after

That never really hit until i thought about his son

So he was away for most of his sons childhood

Already knowing the main parts of this stiry has me pointing and going foreshadowing

Me "thats not a good idea" at everything they point out

LOTUS! I KNOW THAT ONE!

"I see in your face there's so much guilt in your heart" thats war for ya

ATHENA

THE HARMONIES

They should have a song where the key cha gws and its the exact same space between notes but it creates more disonnance to call to the issues

POLYPHEMUS! I LOVE THIS GUY

People who are actually willing ti scream <3 (context, i had a role in a show where i had to scream and so many people thought it was so embarrassing and anyone who was forced to try it for call backs got red in the face and didnt commit, so i live for when people do)

600 men vs 600 lives

The drum is a very effective club holy shit (club to my god damn heart)

QHEN THE VILLIAN TAKES THE HEROES LINES IN A MUSICAL MY BELOVEF

Captain what are our orders CAPTAIN

All goosebumps

OH HIS VOICE DROPS IN REMEMBER THEM AND HE'S GOT A WHOLE.DOFFERENT VIBE

The thing about the crew is that their colelctive coice is lower than odysseus so he always stands out and he always seems seperate

"What good would killing do when mercy is a skill more of the world could learn to use" HOLY SHIT I CANT THIS SONG IS SO GOOD

Athenas a prick

When characters in a fight use the same phrasing <3

CALLBACKS TO PREVIOUS SONGS

I have a feeling the just a man vs monster is a theme throughout

THE INSTRUMENTS DO SOUND LIKE A STORM

"Is it nature or divine or a blessing in disquise?" HOLY SHIT

I am insane about this. My musical theater nerd is helping.

Oh the wind bag, i know this

"ODYSSEUS OF ITHACA, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" No, sir, I (moss) do not

Based on this next songs intro, Posedion

"Ruthlessness" there's a reason he's known as the earthshaker

His voice fucking rocks

"43 left under your command" "when does a man become a monster" when odyesseus gets home he is only recognized when he strips entirely bare, until then, no one knows who he is, not his wife, not his son

"What was it?" "A woman." ......... just silence for a moment, that was so funny

"We have to save them." "No we dont?!"

HERNES MY BOY U COULD TELL JUST FRON YOUR VOICE ITS SO FITTING and his song fucks

Circe also fucks

I LOVE EVERYONES VOICES

"Hermes gave it to you, didn't he?" "Fine, yeah."

THE FACT THAT THERES NO HARMONIES WHEN CIRCE AND ODYSSEUS ARE SINGING TOGETHER IS SO GOOD

I lovw so many of the musical choices inthis

FULL SPEED AHEAD MIRROR

"558 men who died under your command" right after "when does a man become a monster" with an inhuman echo affect

"I took too long....and adventured too far" When a man is unrecignizable until he strips bare even by those closest ti him

The pain in his voice as he screams who after its implied that his wife will be with someone else but i think that someone else is him but he is no longer himself.

I think its fitting that monster happens in the underworld saga because thats the cinfrontation betqeen the death (and revival) of several parts of yourself

DAUGHTER??? THATS NOT PENELOPE

I DONT KNOW THIS PART OF THE STORY BUT THATS NOT PENELOPE, YOU DONT HAVE A DAUGHTER

SCYLLA THE SIREN

"Lets cut the charade you are no wife of mine" DAMN THE POWER! HES SCARY HOLY SHIT

DIFFERENT BEAST IS INSANE HOMY SHIT MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE

I LOVE THAT HIS VOICE GETS LOWER WHEN HE MAKES A MESSED UP DECISION and he's much more indistinguishable from the crew

MUTINY!!

"Look me in the eyes and tell me captain, Tthat tou did not just sacrifice 6 MEN!" GOOSWBUMPS

MUTINY MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE HOLY SHIT

Selfishly he sings, "i need to get home" long befire he sings "we need to get home"

CALL BACK TO IM JUST A MAN EXCEPT ITS PRESENTED AS WEAKNESS THIS TIME

The quiet of "we're too late"

"You or your crew?" HES GONNA PICK HIS CREW TO DIE HE WILL.CHOOSE HIMSELF TO LIVE its a choice that hurts but it's not hard

AND ITS DONE SO WELL

THATS IT?!?!?!

Fair warning, im copy and pasting the entire liveblog of my first listen to EPIC

[mesukohi]

Embers

Isuka x Portgas D. Ace

Summary:

A familiar face visits Ace a few hours prior his execution

Abandon all your hope, ye who enter here is scribbled on the dusty brick walls that surrounded a certain flame commander. Goosebumps raises in response to the cold air that swiftly caresses skin, a touch from the reaper himself, meaning to guide him into river Styx to what could be the heaven or the underworld. He had already forgotten the concept of time, the absence of sunlight making the difference of day and night blurry to those who are unfortunate enough to end up in impel down. The shackles made of sea stone continued to suffocate his wrist, cutting away the demon blood that circulated his weakened body.

He has no regrets, that's for sure.

Even though that shadows of death is near, he will wholeheartedly welcome it with open arms. As long as luffy is safe. As long as pops is safe. That is all that matters.

The sounds of footsteps nearing his cell snapped the freckled man from his thoughts. A warden he barely know hits the metal bars to alert him that a visitor has arrived to see him. He wasn't expecting one in all honesty, but if this visitor is able to reach impel down in such a short notice, perhaps the unknown guest is someone who has name and power in regards to the government.

And he was right.

There, in front of his cell is a woman with fiery hair he was too familiar with. Her once short locks has now reached her hips, gloved hand hiding the burnt scars that he used to kiss. Her eyes glowed sienna against the harsh lighting, and on her shoulders was the coat of justice that the navies wore with pride. She was not a mere ensign anymore by the way those medals hung against her crisp uniform but still, he knows, that she remained that kind and loving woman he met years ago.

"Isuka" he breathes, parched throat rasping her name instead.

"Its nice to see you again, Firefist" the redhead greets, arms crossing indignantly. "I never thought the day would come that I won't be happy to see you locked up in a cell"

"Fiesty as ever" he chuckled "Did you just visit me so that you could tell that joke?"

"No, not really" she stepped closer, eyes adjusting to meet the the prisoner's lonely gaze "I'm here to visit an old friend"

"We're not just friends, Isu" Ace cleared, the corner of his lips stretching to form a bitter smile.

"Call me Captain Isuka now, that nickname doesnt matter anymore" she answered, voice firm.

"You used to love it when I called you that"

"Damn it Ace, just stop!" the navy exclaimed, lone boot stomping against the ground. "All of that is in the past now. We made our choices! We took different paths that are polar opposites and there's nothing we can do to change it!" Tears began to form on the corner of her eyes, the naval biting her lips to prevent the waterworks from falling "This is not the time and place... I don't even know if there will be one. For once in your life, can you please let me say goodbye in peace?"

"I won't die Isu" Ace assured lovingly, "As long as my brothers can remember me, as long as you hold me in your memory I wont"

"But I don't want you to be a memory" Isuka broke "I want you alive. I want to see your bounty raise, I want to see the changes of your smiles in your damn wanted posters. I want you to live!"

"But it's too late now is it?" he retorted, brown irises gleaming sadly "I made my choice Isu. This is the life I wanted. The best thing you could do is keep pops and luffy safe"

"But what about me?! Did you even took the time to think what I wanted?! Why are you always so stubborn, Ace!" she snapped, gloved hands gripping the metal bars that separated her and her beloved "Your ears were always closed. You never listen to anybody! Now look at you! I can't even hold you. I cant even touch you let alone kiss you goodbye!"

Slowly, her knees fell to the ground, pained sobs echoing against the cold brick walls.

"You should've listened to me and became a warlord. That way, at least we have the slightest chance to be together"

"I... can't. I won't" the pirate answered, head held down guiltily "Even if you ask me now, my answer will be the same. That position is not for me, you know that more than anyone"

"And I respect that but still..." she inhales deeply, harvesting enough courage to quell the fire on her chest "I suppose I just have to suck it up and accept that this is not our time" she began, watery eyes meeting his "Maybe in another world we were meant to be happy. But not here. Not in this one. We were meant to meet each other but we are not fated to be together. And it hurts Ace! Its ripping me apart"

"I know" he answered, the flood on his cheeks starting "And it hurts me to see you suffer. This is my fault. Just forget about me and move on. You deserve to be happy"

"Don't ask me to move on as if that's an easy feat!" she yelled back, snot dripping from her nose "Do you think I have moved on already when we left each other years ago? For fuck's sake Ace, I never did! I won't be standing in front of you right now if I've already forgotten you. You are hard to forget! The happiness we shared before is tattooed in my mind and it surfaces no matter how much i suppress it!"

Footsteps echoed abruptly, indicating that the guard from before has returned to fetch the visitor. The redhead raises her hand, asking for a few more minutes in which the warden grumbled "two" before standing prostate on the side. Isuka darts back at the guilt ridden prisoner, memorizing the face that will soon depart the living world.

"I will not be in marineford Ace" she admitted, taking a step back from his cell "I'm not going to stand there and watch you die. Im not going to fight the people you hold on your heart dearly. I'll be home waiting until this nightmare ends"

She turned on her heels, preparing to leave.

"I am thankful to have met you. I am thankful that you loved me. I am thankful of the fond memories that you have given me. I know I shouldn't be saying this but... I do hope that your father will be able to save you. Goodbye, Firefist"

"Isu, wait!" he calls, making the navy captain stop on her tracks "Do you... Do you still love me?" he asked exasperatedly.

She gives him a gentle smile, eyes filled with a lonely light as she spoke.

"I never stopped loving you, Ace. And I will continue to love you no matter where you are"

There are eight more hours until Portgas D. Ace's execution. And right now, he realizes that he has one regret.

[katsukikitten]

A/N I cant wait for yall to read this

Sunlight fights to filter in beneath the thick curtains, causing you to stir slightly as the sweet smell of burning sugar pulls you closer.

Happily you snuggle deeper into the scent, drowning in it as you nose your way further into the crook of a soft neck. A hum escapes you as you are pulled quickly back under tow dreaming of a sweet shop with nothing but squares of caramel and deep candy apple eyes.

A harsh knock comes at the door snapping you back to reality causing your muscles to tense with burning adrenaline. You're pulled ever closer, pressed impossibly so into a muscled chest, pops ringing out of a steady hand.

"Who the fuck is it?" Voice dark, deep with sleep and venom. Causing your body to act on it's own as your stomach and core flutter.

The dream makes more sense as you slowly remember last night, your cheeks aflame.

"Ka..Kaachan. We're late! Our plane leaves in half an hour and I'm worried about Y/N. She isn't picking up her phone and she won't answer her door. I...I dont remember her coming back with us last night. She came back with us right? We didn't leave her? The girls left before us and..." He continues on in a tangent as Bakugo growls. Both of you relish each other's skin for a moment before letting go, giving one another an odd glance as you both dress. Katsuki nods towards the sliding door as he breaks Deku's worry spell.

"Oi! Oi!" Bakugo growls ripping the door open enough that his top half sticks out, "She and I brought you back. She's probably taking forty fucking years to get ready like normal. Let me get my shit together."

He glances over his shoulder to watch you gracefully float from his balcony to yours. His eyes return to his oldest frenemy. Jade eyes hazed, half asleep, deep bags pull at his features harshly enough to have the hot head say.

"You look like shit. Did you take the meds Y/N left out for you?" Deku nods, gripping his forearm tightly.

"I'm sorry I..." But Bakugou cuts him off.

"Told you you couldn't out drink me, ya fucking light weight. Now get ready, when I'm done I'll get Y/N." He sighs shutting the door just before Deku turns to make his way back.

Katsuki stares at his unmade bed, at your card and phone sitting on his nightstand, reliving the night before.

He hopes he didn't make a mistake or take advantage of you depsite both of you being drunk as fuck.

The lingering smell of your shampoo clings to him like a lost lover causing him to bite his lower lip.

You stand in front of the glass door, debating if you should go in. Brave hands act on their own as they grip onto the door, flinging it to the side before you step into the dark room.

After a quick scan, it is safe to say that no one is present. House keeping had come to freshen your sheets and towels and you do not see anything amiss. The only thing noticeable is the slight indent on the side of the bed. You convince yourself that it's from the natural sag of the mattress.

Quickly you grab for your bag, checking to make sure you have all of your extra hero suits before grabbing onto the Bakugou waifu pillow having half a mind to leave it here.

But the longer you stare the more your head swims as your stomach twists with the weight of uncertainty.

Of the silent tension the two of you carried that could shift your relationship drastically one way or the other.

Little time is left before the three of you are supposed to leave, yet you make your way to the shower anyway. Cranking it up as high as it will go before standing in the burning water.

Almost wishing you were sharing the shower with the same person who left little purple bites over your breasts.

Even with your shower you manage to beat both of your male coworkers to the hallway.

Waiting patiently as you lean agaisnt your door, heart fluttering as you relive the ENTIRE weekend.

Of green eyes you hope to never see again, of a glass replica of your own eye, a threatening note, of the laughs you shared with the former 1A.

Of the closeness that developed between you and the women, that developed between you and Izuku.

And especially the smile that Bakugo has been sharing with you.

Of the eye contact from last night. Your heart freefalls into your stomach with enough force that the wind leaves you in a small "Fuck."

Hand pushing through wet hair as Izuku emerges from his room.

"Oh Y/N, thank goodness you're okay!" He wraps strong arms around your frame, flooding your senses with peppermint and a hint of lime.

"Oi, oi stop being dramatic I told ya the brat was fucking fine." Katsuki huffs, slamming his door, "You forgot this in my pocket last night."

There is little bite in his voice as his hand holds out your phone. He looks over you with deft eyes, reading your body language for distress while checking to see if any bruises were visible all before slinking back down to your hand.

That you haphazardly rewrapped. A snarl escapes his lips as you grab onto your phone, eyes burning into you.

"Remind me to never let you wrap my wounds." He nudges your shoulder with his own, crimsom eyes shining more than usual. You scoff at his remark, shoving him roughly.

"You act as if I wouldn't hope that you'd bleed out first." You flick your hair as you sashay past him fighting to keep the smile off of your face. A smile where a scowl should be. The two of you quip and bicker like normal but something is...different. Or at least it seems that way to Izuku as he watches the two of you interact. Studying the odd pair as he wonders what has changed.

It's a subtle change, as he hadn't caught on until the two of you had gotten onto the plane.

Suddenly Izuku couldn't help but notice that there was a little less animosity, a little less hostility between the two of you.

And he sure as hell didn't miss the lingering glances the two of you shared.

Bakugo slides into his seat across the aisle as he did a short two days ago, headphones on, scarlet eyes glancing at you before squeezing shut. You choose the window seat staring out at the tarmac below. Izuku watches your eyes flutter and blur with unshed tears as whatever heartwrenching thought crosses your mind. He swallows thickly ignoring you to give you privacy.

The three of you stand in front of the towering building of your agency.

All three of you asked to return to the office for various reasons.

A set of jeweled jade and burning scarlet rove over you, worry lacing their eyes in two atronomicly different forms. Furrowed brows and a narrowed glare.

You sigh pulling your luggage behind you as you walk through the office doors first.

Bakugo finds his office exactly as he left it. A mountain of paper work that is close to being over due. He bites at his lower lip as he slams into his office chair wondering how your conversation you must be having is going. Rocking in his leather chair as he stares at his phone, avoiding work as his ears perk hoping for sound in the office beside him.

Your office settled between his and Deku's. He growls out when he hears that stupid cheery voice of Deku's thanking his assistant before Bakugo descides he should probably do some work while he waits for your return.

Snarling curses to himself as he doesn't understand *why* he is so anxious to hear from you when normally he would relish your getting in trouble.

Shining eyes stare up at him settled on rouged cheeks, plush lips forming his name devouring every other thought on his mind.

He grinds his teeth trying to forget as deadly hands open his wallet to pull out his ID card for his office laptop only to be met with your debit card staring up at him.

"Fuck." He snarls abandoning his task in search of you. Not that he really had a qualm about avoiding paper work. He just spots you leaving the agency through his large office windows.

Odd, had you not had your meeting? Usually when you were in trouble with the director the lights flickered AT LEAST once. He takes the steps two at a time, pushing through the door to the stairwell just in time to over hear the latest gossip from front reception.

"So Tejina just up and quit after a paid vacation?" The security guard asks, setting down his extra cup for who he was obviously pining after. She barely gives it a second glance.

"She didn't even pack any of her stuff." The receptionist sighs, filing at a nail, "We might have to clean out her office."

" Ungrateful bi.."But before he can finish his sentence a loud pop rings out. He freezes staring down the top hero before swallowing thickly. Scarlet burns into mundane brown before he shifts his weight to walk through the double doors. All the while the security guard thanks his lucky stars.

"Oi!" Bakugo calls after you but you ignore him, pushing through your mixed emotions as you stomp your way towards home, "OI Y/N!"

But he is just as persistent as the memory of harsh vermilion turning soft as it glimpsed into your soul.

"Fuck." You mutter, walking faster dragging your stupid suitcase in your wake.

An explosion erupts, landing a toned body directly in front of you. Heated hands finding your shoulders quickly to stop you in your tracks. You jerk back from his touch and he tries not to let the hurt shine through on his face.

"What happened?" A bite that you ignore, trying to shove past him just to repeat the dance again. Jerk away, obvious display of hurt attempting to meld into rage. The longer you dont speak the more his blood boils before he finally sounds off.

"Did you really fucking quit?!" He yells loudly enough that birds flee from trees and rooftops. Avoiding his gaze you stare at his clenched fists, wanting everything and nothing to do with him all at once.

He was the last person you wanted to see.

Especially after the look on the director's face when you stated your resignation.

But here he stood in all his muscled glory, blocking your way.

Somethings never changed did they?

"Yes Bakugo I fucking quit. I'm done I.." Just as you're about to allow yourself to break, to consciously cry in front of the last human being you thought you could ever be vulnerable with he burts with popping motion.

"YOU FUCKING QUIT? FOR FUCKING WHAT?!" He heaves, pressing further, pushing your last button, "I didn't think you would quit over something so trivial as your fan base."

Red clouds your vision and drowns out any rational thought you had as your body moves on it's own accord. Your fist rears back, slaming into a sturdy jaw line causing him to slide back a few feet. And with it infecting him with that all consuming *red*.

A mixture of a snarl and smirk contort his handsome features as he spits blood onto the ground. He lunges, powering himself with his quirk as he comes for you.

Luggage far from forgotten as you bring it up to swing, hitting him in his ribs fucking his flight attack. He counters with a point blank explosion to which you stop with a shaky shield.

Struggling to keep the energy formed with nothing as its base. You distance yourself only for him to close the space, knowing full well you worked best from afar.

Well he sure as fuck better know considering how many hours he was forced to spend with you. He watches your quirk activate and deactivate in a matter of seconds, anticipating all of the projectiles you produce.

But he fails to notice the large boulder you steal from rock garden in the courtyard of the agency. He lunges for you again hot finger tips grazing your skin before you bring the large boulder down with full force.

Pinning him into the ground until a satisfying crack rings out.

Heaved breaths echo in the semi silence as the two of you work your problems out the only way strong quirk holders seem to know how.

Destruction spelling out every word that you'd never dare to speak. He gets the message loud in clear, although too late, as he watches your posture shrink just the slightest as you look down at him.

Barely able to hold eye contact, he produces a strong enough explosion for the boulder to become confetti on the wind before he stands, spitting crimson into the dirt.

This was your opportunity to move, this was the turning point of your relationship with him.

If he comforted you now for what felt like the thousandth time in the past few days you knew you wouldn't be able to resist him again.

Caramel tickles your nose on the wind moments before he stands before you, deadly palms resting on your exposed biceps. Gently squeezing as if the two of you hadn't tried to off the other. He sighs, body relaxing before you as you stare at his ever rising chest.

"Please...please tell me what's going on." He sounds desperate and you are unsure if you've ever heard a tone like this from him before. You heart pounds in your chest and painfully so. As if it were ensnared in an unsuspecting trap, barbs puncturing the tender flesh with each agonizing beat.

*"I should end this here. I should end this now."*

Is the all consuming thought you have before your mouth moves all on it's own. You hold his gaze, matching the intensity as you stare into his stunning scarlet eyes.

Eyes that you tell yourself are actually green.

"Please, as if you really fucking care Ground Zero." You cannot even bring yourself to use his name. Knowing that when you were to sound out the syllables your voice was sure to crack, his grip becomes tighter. Those damn lips you want to devour morph into a thin line biting back his ire.

"It's funny that you are so touch starved you would take a pity fuck as anything more." He jerks away then, eyes widening before turning into a nasty glare.

Still you continue your assault, pushing him with hot hands as you pretend so desperately that he is someone else.

Anyone else so you can push him away from you, hurt him enough that he would never look in your direction again.

That wouldn't be so bad right?

"We were never friends and we never will be. Quit being a bitch, like I said. It. Was. A. Drunken. Pity. Fuck." You bite out each word, staring him down for a full moment before turning on your heel. Hand raised for your strown luggage to assemble itself before returning to your hand.

All the while blurring red eyes stare after your powerful form. Teeth grit so tightly they threaten to turn to dust.

He should move. He should go after you.

Those words were clearly not meant for him. You clearly weren't looking him him in the same light as before. He knows in his bones he needs to follow you to fix this.

But that would require Bakugou Katsuki to swallow his pride.

And he always chokes on it.

You're a shaking mess of nerves as you walk home, trying hard not to glance over your shoulder at any noise as you near closer to your apartment.

No one but the agency knows where you live as you took extra precaution to avoid not only the paparazzi but especially crazed fans even opting to stay in random hotel room instead of the comfort of your penthouse apartment.

You smile softly at the slightly dilapidating building, climbing the crumbling concrete steps jingling one of the three keys it requires to get into your apartment.

The first for the front door.

The second for the stairwells

The final for your deadbolt and handle.

Both slide in easily as you breath in the smell of your dusty and dank apartment.

Relishing the fact that no one would find you here. The black out curtains are drawn keeping the apartment plunged in a never ending nighttime. You toss your keys onto the entry table closing the door behind you as you set your luggage down with a sigh.

Suddenly the air seems to shift, dust particles disturbed in the slight sunlight that streams in the small crack of the curtains sending your heart into a panic.

Green is reflected to you in the screen of your TV as breath floats down the nape of your neck.

Before you can react a sticky substance is placed over your mouth and nose, steadily forcing its way in and down your throat. A panic sets a cold sweat onto your goose skin as you realize the substance is forming from a thick forearm.

That you beat onto desperately as your vision begins to fade to black. Quirk grabbing onto anything to smash into your assailant just for it to be absorbed. Green holds your panicked gaze.

"You really couldn't have picked a better time to quit." He presses his noise into your throat huffing in your scent as you feel a shutter go through him. The strength in your body begins to fade with your vision before he runs his tongue along the hollow of your exposed collar bone.

"I told you you'd be mine soon enough *Doll.*"

[msmarvelwrites]

The Winter Soldier - Part 15

Info: A Devastating car crash causes you to lose your memory and start over. The only thing left in the wreckage was the horrific nightmares which plagued your mind. If you knew what today would entail you would have just stayed in bed. But you didn’t and because of that, everything you knew was about to change.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: swearing, gun violence. 

W/c: 2.9k

A/n: I’m double posting for @kalesrebellion​ because she called me out. So here you go babe. Also, I did an embarassing amount of research trying to come up with the basics for the serum. But I concluded that this is fiction and it doesnt really matter. But if you’re ur a science major and this doesnt make sense please dont come for me lol

There are moments in your life that define you. Moments you look back on after everything and wonder, if you had listened to your gut, maybe it would be different. This was one of those moments. Bucky’s world shattered around him as Natasha’s words rang through his comm. 

“We’ve been compromised, Buck. I’ve been hit. They got Y/n.” Her voice, broken and solemn. 

No. 

Dammit, NO.

This isn't how this was supposed to happen. This was an easy job. Only a few Hydra agents resided in this compound. The whole thing felt like a dream. One he was completely and utterly unprepared to handle. How could he let this happen. He should have been there. 

“Dammit. What's your location? I'm coming to you.” He shouted. His blood began to boil and he heard your heavy breathing on the other side. You were running. “Y/n, please come in. Please, doll. Where are you?” Bucky hated how broken he sounded. He knew the rest of the team could hear his begging, but he didnt care. He couldn't. He just needed to get to you. 

“You always were a fighter. Right till the bitter end.” A man’s muffled voice came through his comm. He didn't recognize it as anyone he knew, but there was something familiar about it. A distant memory he couldn't quite piece together. Before he could speak, your voice broke though, a small whisper shattering his heart and sending him into a blind rage. 

“Bucky” You breathed, choking on a cough. 

“Y/n. I’m coming to you, doll. Don't worry, I've got you. I’m going to get you out of this. Don't worry, I’m coming.” He pleaded, but was only met with static, and then finally silence. The rest of the team kept quiet, waiting for any kind of sign of life from you. When none came, Nat spoke up. 

“Guys, we gotta get out of here. They've set off a security alert, this place is going to blow in three minutes.” Her voice was now back to its usual tone, but Bucky knew better. She was scared, he could hear it.  “ There’s no sign of her out here. She’s just… gone.” He could hear that she was running now.

“Bucky, we gotta go.” Steve spoke from beside him. Bucky’s head snapped to his friend, eyes wide and body still frozen. 

“We can't leave. Not without her.” He all but begged. 

“You heard Natasha, she’s on her way.” He paused, “Nat, you got the files?” He spoke into his earpiece, motioning Bucky to follow him to the entrance they had come through. 

“Yeah, I have them. Thanks for asking by the way. I’m great, two more bullet holes in my gut, but yeah, files are more important.” She scoffed, causing Steve to roll his eyes.  “I’m headed to the entrance right now.”

“No, I’m not leaving without Y/n!” Bucky tried to pull away from Steve, but he was stronger. A fact he would never admit to the guy, his head was already big enough. 

“She’s not here Buck. They wouldn't blow the compound with her in it.” He persisted.

Sam’s voice interjected, “Jet’s fired up, you guys better get the fuck outta there. We have less than a minute.” 

Bucky and Steve ran through the dark hallways together until they almost slammed into Nat’s small frame. He gasped when she appeared in the hollow moonlight. Her face was contorted in pain, something he was all too familiar with. Guilt.

“I lost her. I’m so sorry, it was my job to-” She broke off into a sob. Bucky wanted to agree. Yell that if she was a better agent- a better person his girl would be coming home with them. But he couldn't... This was on him. He knew it was a bad idea to bring you on the mission. He deserved all the blame. 

“She’s not dead. Not yet anyways. But we will be if we don't get out of here.” Steve yelled over the alarms blaring in the hallway. 

Bucky and Nat both nodded, and followed Steve across the field. Before they could reach the jet, the warehouse behind them rumbled before letting out an earth shattering explosion, sending the two of them flying into the ground. Without hesitation, Bucky grabbed Natasha's hand and pulled her from the ground. He wrapped her arm around his shoulder and all but dragged her body onto the jet. 

“Vision’s been alerted we need medical. He’s been staying at a safe house in Munich. We can be there in thirty minutes.” Steve spoke urgently, rifling through the cabinets of the jet looking for the first aid kit. 

“Seriously guys, it's a flesh wound. I’m- Ah!” Nat screamed in pain as the jet hit a spout of turbulence. 

“Like you were saying.” Wanda smirked, placing her hands carefully on Nats' wound. Her hands glowed a deep red as she tried to relieve the pain. The spy’s face relaxed, but only for a moment before she was back to worried. 

“He’s alive, Buck.” Nat spoke, and when she did, he could hear the fear in her words. 

“Who?” Steve demanded, but Nat’s eyes stayed put on Bucky’s. 

“Tommy. She said his name in the hallway. It was him, Buck. He’s not dead. He’s the one that shot me, the one that took her.” Nat flinched in pain as Wanda's hands fell from her side. 

“That’s not possible.” Bucky shook his head. “Steve found my mission file. I killed him. I remembered it. You just don't walk away from that.” 

“Well, clearly you do.” Nat spoke sarcastically, pointing to the gushing holes in the body. 

“So Tommy’s alive? And he’s Hydra now?” Wanda asked, suddenly realising her hands were not on Nat’s wounds anymore. She placed them back silently apologising. 

“And he’s got Y/n.” Bucky added, his jaw clenched in anger. 

“We’ll get her back.” Steve spoke. He placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder which he quickly shrugged off, pacing back and forth through the small aircraft. 

“I know we will. And i’m going to finish the fucking job and tear that prick in two.” He seethed, mostly to himself. 

He tried to focus on the task at hand. Desperately brainstorming how to get to you, but his mind was spirling. How could he just leave you? How could he have been so stupid? The sound of his name leaving your lips echoed around him, only fuling his growing rage. 

“All our tactical suits have hidden trackers in the sleeves. We will hear it go off, but until then we wait. They cant have gotten far.” Steve started as the jet began its descent. “We're almost at the safe house. We’ll track her from there. In the morning, we’ll head out.”

“Morning? That's too long. She could be-'' Bucky cut himself off, too broken at the thought to finish that sentence. “I’ll find her myself tonight.” He grumbled. 

“Oh no you don’t. We’re a team, Buck. We do this together. Vision will be able to enable her tracker. But we need to work together. We can't lose anybody else to impulse decisions.” Steve scolded. 

He knew his friend was right but it didn't make it any easier to agree. All Bucky wanted to go but get you back. Keep you safe and never let anyone touch you again. He tried to keep his distance before, he really did, but that was out the window now. There wasn't a chance in hell he was leaving your side after this. As for the man that ripped you from his grasp, oh boy… He tried not to make a habit out of fantasizing murder, mostly as it resulted in the Winter Soldier coming out of the shadows, but if that was the case with Tommy, so be it. Only when Bucky stood in a pile or carnage and gore and blood would he finally feel peace again...

“We're coming up on the safe house. Y'all ready to bail?” Sam's voice tore Bucky out of his thoughts, and thankfully so. He was sure it was leading to a very destructive path. 

“Buck, help us get Nat inside. Wanda and Sam - sweep the area, make sure no one has followed us. I’ll fill Vision in on what's happened and see if he can turn on Y/n’s tracker now.” Steve commanded as he hopped out of the jet. 

“Can you stand?” Bucky asked, dipping down to tuck Nats arm around his shoulder, helping her up. She nodded reluctantly, wincing in pain as she moved. 

The safe house was a small cabin in the middle nowhere. Munich was only a few minutes down the road but the thick coverage of trees that surrounded the cabin made it feel secluded and hard to be spotted from above.  If they weren't followed, no one would ever know they were here. 

Bucky helped Nat inside, letting Steve and Wanda take over once they were through the door. Before he could enter, he stopped, taking a moment to gaze upon the sun rising over the mountains. In a few hours, he’d be with you again. He just had to make it until then, and pray to whatever god would still have him, that you were alive. 

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Продолжай копать. Нам надо её найти.” Keep digging. We have to find it. The voice rang in your mind, waking you from the recurring nightmare. Visions of Tommy and that boyish smile that once brought so much happiness.. His voice, the way it used to say your name, now only causing you ache. 

“Wait, rewind there! Вернись. That’s it.” The voice spoke again, echoing around the room. You opened your eyes slowly, taking in your surroundings, but all you were met with was darkness. You could feel movement around you, but the blindfold tied around your eyes masked their faces. 

“I’m positive she told me what was in that serum.” His voice caused your heart to just about leap from your chest. You knew that voice anywhere. 

“You better be right. You're as good as dead to me otherwise.” Another man spoke. 

“No I’m sure. Wait! Right there. Replay that part.” Tommy asserted. 

Suddenly a headache burned through your temples, scorching the inside of your eyes. You screamed in pain as it coarsed though your body until an image appeared in your mind. It replayed over and over, making you dizzy. 

“Whatcha doing?” Tommy cooed, taking a seat on your desk. 

“Just trying to find the right components.” You spoke, not taking your eyes microscope as you examined the petri dish below. 

“Cummon, baby. You've been at this for hours. Come eat something.” You looked up, Tommy stood there with that big goofy smile you loved so much. 

“I’ve almost got it. Just a little longer.” You reassured him, rolling in your chair and picking up another sample and analysing it. 

“What exactly is, it?” he asked, emphasizing the word. 

“If I mix the steroid with-” 

Another shrieking jolt of pain seared through you as the memory disappeared, leaving you trembling. 

“Go back, we almost had it!” Someone yelled from beside you. 

You tried to scream, to beg them to stop, but it was no use. Before you could try again, the same horrible pain erupted through your body, ripping you back to the distant memory. 

“If I mix the steroid with human blood, it does as it's designed.  But taking into account the theory of nuclear transmutation, we can assume given the right element we can use the serum to absorb its surroundings, right?” You spoke, like it was common sense. 

“Sure…” Tommy chuckled. 

“So, strip down the original serum, add radiation to its compound, now it needs the ability to absorb energy… What element do we know has that power?” it wasn't a question, nor did you think Tommy would know the answer so you continued, “Water, and our bodies are basically made of that. So in turn, if we can create the original serum mixed with high levels of radiation, inject the person, granted you're not killed by that high levels of toxicity, we're looking at a new type of Super Soldier. One that could, in theory, mutate around the serum and absorb its surroundings!” You finally finished.

“I have no idea what any of that means… But it sounds cool. Now put the vile down, and eat something.” He laughed, grabbing the sample out of your hands and carefully placing it on the table next to you.

“Thats it!” Someone shouted. “Of course, why didn't we think of this. Call the commander, tell him we found it.” 

You felt your body twist in agony, but soon the memory left, leaving you back in the dark with disembodied voices echoing around you. 

“What do you want me to do with her?” a man asked. 

“I don't care. убить её?” Kill her? You froze at his words. Even if you could move, your hands were tied down to the chair. Gentally you wiggle your fingers, careful not to draw any attention to yourself. Not that you would be able to tell. The ring that Shuri had made you was still there. If you timed in right, and you still had Wanda’s borrowed power, you could use it to untie yourself and hopefully get the fuck out of this hell hole. 

“Kill her?” Tommy choked. “You didn't say anything about killin’ her?” 

“You should be thankful. The girl’s been sharing a bed with the same man who killed you once before. In fact, I’m so pleased with your work developing this memory decoder that I’ll give you the honour.” The man spoke, shuffling around the room. “Here, tell me when you're done having your fun.” A few heavy footsteps later, and you finally heard the door close. The silence was deafening, but eventually, Tommy let out a deep breath and took a step towards you, ripping your blind fold off. 

You squinted as you tried to acclimate your eyes to the lighting of the room. It was small and dark, but a few dim lights hung above you illuminating Tommy's features. Once upon a time you would have described them as strong and rugged. Now they seemed to loom over you, sending a shiver down your spine. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, softer than you expected. You quickly clocked the pistol in his left hand and tried to suppress a scoff. 

“Am I okay?” You gawked at him. “You just dug through my head like a sand pit. No- no I’m not okay you shit head!” You screamed. 

Tommy chuckled, using the gun to scratch the back of his neck. “Touché…” He spoke, pulling up a stool and plopping himself down on it infront of you. “I missed that attitude baby. Really, these past couple years have been hell without you. These guys are really scary, but I told em- I said, my girl will know what to do. And you did, baby. I never doubted you.” His voice was like honey. Thick and sickenly sweet. 

“What are you talking about?! I thought you were dead!? I mourned you, asshole. And you've been alive this whole time, working against me?” You couldn't believe how cavalier he was being about this. Tommy only shrugged, fuling the rage inside you. 

“Nah, it's not like that. I was dead, really I was. But then Hydra came and BOOM I was back. They promised me that they’d keep me safe, as long as I could help em get that serum you were always talkin’ bout. Said they wanted to give it time in your system, make sure it didn't kill ya.” He started, narrowing his eyes slowly, “You grieved me? That's a funny way of putting it. Cause from what I saw in that head of yours, you were pretty chummy with that Soldier.”  

You couldn't stifle the scoff that erupted in your mouth. “You're kidding right? Jesus, Tom. They brainwashed me. And I don't need to explain myself. You're sick, you know that?  How could you do this? Do you have any idea what they're going to use that serum for?” You fired the questions off like explosives into his chest, but he didn't even flinch. 

“I don't really care. They told me if I gave em’ your little recipe, they’d let me go.” He shrugged. 

“And so what? Now you're going to kill me?” 

“No… Maybe. I haven't really decided yet.” He looked down at the pistol like it was the first time he really noticed it was there. Contemplating your death like he was deciding between his morning coffee. 

“I would get going on that if I were you.” You lifted your hands, wiggling your wingers playfully “Really, Tommy, you're not cut out for this line of work.” You spat, jumping from your seat and landing a hard kick to his gut, sending him flying back. The gun ricocheted off the ground and hit the wall, but before he could react, you grabbed it. In one swift move you turned the safety off and placed your finger on the trigger. 

“Cummon baby, let's talk about this.” He raised his hands in surrender. “You wouldn't shoot me.” 

You cocked a brow, “You sound really confident in that statement. Especially for a boy who was debating my death a moment ago.” You argued. 

“Dont take it personally, baby. Anything you can do, I can do better. Remember?” You smirked. 

................................................................................................................................

A/n: Another Cliff hanger? Yes. Do I know how to wrote anything else? No... My bad lol. I hope your enjoyed this one as much as I did writing it! As always, @cutie1365​ is the bomb dot com for editing this for me. Tommy sucks, we both agree. I hope he gets whats coming to him... please leave some love and reblog if you read it! 

@kalesrebellion​

@projectcampbell​

@calwitch​

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 1

Summary: Your past with Chris catches up with you.

A/N: Can’t say more than that or it gives stuff away! 😂 Taglist is open, if 

you want to be added let me know 💕

After a long day working at the local coffee shop the last thing i wanted to do was go to a club! But it was Sadie's leaving party so i had to make an appearance or id never hear the end of it.

It had actually been a really fun night, my first night out in what felt like years and after a few drinks i let myself enjoy it. I even had a couple of guys offer to buy me a drink! Just after midnight i caught a taxi home and left the younger girls to carry on with their partying..... how they did it i don't know! Most of them had had far too much to drink already and no intention of stopping any time soon. God i miss the days where i could do that!

When i finally got home i dropped my bag and my jacket next to the front door, went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and headed up to bed. I managed to throw on an oversized t-shirt before crashing face first into bed, the make up removal would have to wait til the morning i was too exhausted to care.

I woke up to my cell phone blaring loudly in my ear, i patted around for it keeping my eyes closed already feeling the hangover! I mumbled a 'hello' then heard the soft chuckle of my mom.

"Had a good night did you?"

"Mmm it was okay, i'm so not used to drinking anymore Ma. How do people do this every weekend?" I moaned as i slowly opened one eye then the other.

"I remember when you'd be out every weekend, you even ended up in Vegas that one weekend...."

"I remember believe me!" I said as i finally sat up grabbing the bottle of water from the bedside cabinet draining half of it.

"I was just wondering what time you were coming over?.... you said 10am but its almost lunch time"

"What??!! are you serious?.... shit. Okay let me go get a cup of coffee and take a quick shower and i'll be there"

"Okay sweetheart, no rush"

"Everything's okay?"

"Yeah yeah all good. I'll see you soon"

"Okay, bye mom".

I had just finished my coffee and was heading upstairs for a shower when the doorbell rang. I was going to ignore it but then whoever it was started knocking.

"Jesus.... give me a second" i muttered marching to the front door, i opened the door just a crack hiding behind the door due to my lack of pants! When i looked through the gap i gasped.... the last person i ever expected to see was stood on my doorstep.

"Chris...."

"Hey" he smiled nervously "sorry for just showing up like this but i didn't have your number. I tried calling the one i had for you but it was out of service"

"Yeah i had to change it a few years back..... wh...what are you doing here Chris?"

"Can we talk inside?.... i don't really wanna do this through a crack in your door" he laughed a little but it was more of a nervous laugh.

"Erm, sure can you give me a couple minutes to go put some pants on?... i was just about to get in the shower"

"Sure"

I nodded and closed the door before quickly rushing upstairs and grabbing my jean shorts from the chair where i had discarded them yesterday. I was just about to leave my room when i passed the mirror and caught a glimpse of my reflection "fuck!" I quickly grabbed a makeup remover wipe and cleaned my face of smudged mascara and run a brush through my hair.... it was no good,  the hair could not be saved! I quickly tied it up in a messy bun not minding the loose bits that fell out, it would have to do!

The living room was a mess so i closed the door leaving just the kitchen visible. Then i rushed over to let Chris in before he thought id run off and forgotten about him. He followed me through to the kitchen and took a seat at the table while i made us both a coffee.

"How you been? Its been a while since ive seen you" he asked softly.

"I guess it has been.... erm i'm good" i shrugged casually keeping my attention on the mugs as i made the coffee.

"Im glad. Seemed like you disappeared off the face of the planet, you just left. No one heard from you...."

"It was for the best, fresh start and all that"

"Im sorry for how we... how i left things"

I shrugged shaking my head

"you really don't have to apologise Chris, you made a choice...."

"A stupid choice..... i was young and very stupid...."

"Whats done is done, theres no point rehashing it... its been almost 7 years i'm over it" i scoffed picking up the mugs and joining him at the table.

"You are?"

"Of course!"

"Thats great" he nodded avoiding eye contact.

"Okay so spill it.... i don't mean to sound rude but i've got somewhere i need to be soon and i'm already running late....."

"Still cant handle your drink huh?" He finally looked at me smirking.

"Apparently not.... how'd you know?"

"Ive seen you hungover enough to know the signs, the hair and the face full of smudged makeup...."

"you saw that huh?"

"Yeah" he chuckled looking me over.

"So....."

"Right... i um....i need you to sign this" He said reaching inside his jacket and pulling out some papers.

"Sign what?..... what could you possibly need me to sign?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he pushed the papers across the table to me. I leaned forward to get a better look and the first thing my eyes landed on... "Petition For Divorce".

I felt my heart start to race as i looked up at Chris..... "what is this? I signed these 7 years ago Chris!"

"I know. I never filed them"

"What?! you mean we're still married?!"

"Yeah"

"Why? You told me you'd take care of it all...."

"And i was gonna, but i couldn't bring myself to do it"

"Jesus christ Chris!"

"Im sorry Y/N" he started to say but I shook my head as i got up to get a pen, when i sat back down and signed them without hesitation Chris made this noise, like i had offended him by signing the divorce papers without an argument.

"What?"

"Nothing, its just you signed them pretty quickly...."

"Chris, i signed these 7 years ago when i loved you.. why wouldn't i sign them again? There's no reason not to..... what we had has been over for years"

"I just thought maybe somewhere down the line we'd work things out"

"I didn't. Any thoughts of us working out ended when you broke up with me because your career was taking off and you liked the attention from all the girls"

"I was an idiot i know, i was just a kid...."

"Bullshit! If you were old enough to get married....you were old enough to know what you were doing".

He looked down shaking his head again, he actually looked ashamed of how he had acted. Maybe he had grown up.

My phone started ringing and i saw my mom's name flashing on the front.

"Hey mom..... oh god, yeah okay.... i'll be there in like 15 minutes i promise" i hung up after saying goodbye to her.

"Im sorry, but i've got to go. You got what you wanted" i shrugged pointing at the papers on the table, he folded them neatly and tucked them back inside his jacket.

"Thank you"

"Can i ask you something?"

"Anything"

"Why now? You didn't bother for 7 years"

"Ive been seeing someone..... its getting kinda serious now...."

"Right, i get it. Your ready for a new wife...." i shook my head suddenly feeling very sad about my past life with Chris "i didn't even get the chance to be your wife.... not really. That ain't worth shit" i pointed towards his jacket where i knew the papers were.

"Its not like that Y/N i swear, i just.... i want the option to be there if the time comes"

"Well i hope it works out better for you this time. Look i have to go......"

"Right okay, sorry. I'll get out of your way" he got up quickly and followed me through the kitchen and to the front door.

"It was good to see you, make sure you file those this time" i said as he walked towards his car.

"You got it, it was great seeing you too" he smiled before getting in his car and driving off.

"Hey Ma!" I called walking into my mom's house.

"Your late" she called from the sofa, i made my way to her and dropped down next to her.

"I know im sorry, you'll never guess who just turned up at my house??!"

"Who?"

"He who shall not be named!" I said quietly, my mom's eyes widened as she gasped "you mean...."

"Yep!" I nodded "turns out we've been married the last 7 years! He never filed.... he came by to ask me to sign them again"

"That boy has some nerve showing up here...."

"Yep"

"Did you sign them?"

"Of course i did"

"Just like that?"

"Yeah, just like that" i shrugged "like i told him, i already thought it was done and over with, i haven't seen him in 7 years.... why wouldn't i sign them"

"Sweetheart....." my mom started to say something but was interrupted by the excited yell of 'MOM!" right before a small body crashed into mine.

"Hey buddy" i laughed hugging my baby close "have you been behaving for nana?"

"Yep, i'm always good" he rolled his eyes before wrapping his arms around me "i missed you mom"

"I saw you yesterday baby" i chuckled running my hand through his brown hair before kissing the top of his head.

"I still missed you"

"Awww ain't you cute! I missed you too".

"Hey! I thought you liked staying with me? We had so much fun" my mom said trying to act offended but smiled when Mason started laughing.

"We had fun Nana, but i missed my mom" he looked up at me with his big blue eyes and i felt my heart swell with love for my baby boy.... well he wasn't a baby anymore, it was hard to believe he'd be turning 6 in a few days.... how time flies.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

[milfmacbeth]

hello i am first-only but tumblr rawdogged my main during purge times so this is technically a side blog even tho i cant access the main :) anyway, a quick barrage of fandom related get-to-know-you asks because thats why we're here: what would you say is your all time otp that has a special place in your heart? what ship/character was the focus of the best (or most special to you) fic youve ever read (and which is that 👀)? do you still ship your first fandom ship? whats the hardest tumblr has screwed up your experience - of fandom or just.. the site itself being a Mess? (ok that last one might be thematic lkfhjs)

hi!! <3

first of all, have an F in the chat for your blog. this our home truly deserves the title of hellsite.

thanks for all the questions! (this is going to be long, rambly, and slightly horny)

what would you say is your all time otp that has a special place in your heart?

all time otp? not sure i'm ready for that kind of commitment. currently eating my brain? jonelias from the magnus archives.

it's one of those unhealthy and fucked up beyond measure ships, rife with power dynamics and manipulation (you know, the good shit), and it's got so much potential (potential that was utterly wasted by canon, mind you). if you're familiar with hannibal, it's a very similar dynamic to hannigram (and by 'very similar' i mean the venn diagram is a fucking circle except the 'feeding on people' part is not quite so literal).

elias is a manipulative bastard who's pulling all the strings but jon is practically a demigod and that makes for such an interesting power dynamic! and not to be an eliasfucker on main, but (spoiler) i would absolutely, willingly let him use me to bring about the apocalypse. rip to jon but i'm different. couple that with the fact that i have a huge voice kink and both jon and elias have excellent voices, and you've got yourself a ship i'll be screaming about for quite some time.

what ship/character was the focus of the best (or most special to you) fic youve ever read (and which is that 👀)?

i have read so many good fics but the one that comes to mind is find your way by moonlight by blackkat (link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11737710/chapters/26449809)

it's a naruto vampire au (which might not sound like High Literature but hey, we're here to have a fun time, not a pretentious time). it's fairly obito-centric, has some excellent world-building, some very good smut, the perfect mix of fluff and angst, and it's funny. (it's also abandoned, which i'm sad about but i'll get over it)

one of the main reasons why i like it though, is that it has kept me reading. what you need to know about me is that i have the attention span of a drunk toddler. one shots are my friend and even though i pick up 1000 page doorstoppers on the regular, i'm a slow reader and i genuinely dread reading fic that's longer than maybe 30k. so for me to devour this 135k monstrosity in a weekend is some black magic fuckery and i don't know how i did it but i'm glad i did.

do you still ship your first fandom ship?

yes.

i don't even know what my first fandom was, so i'm going to go with the first piece of media i remember getting well and truly obsessed with: pirates of the caribbean. first ship (of many) was elizabeth swann/jack sparrow. i was like twelve and i didn't ship it in the go-look-up-fic-and-art fandom sense (i barely even knew what fandom was back then) but i did ship it in the fantasize-about-it-an-unhealthy-amount sense. i like it to this day and that one scene in dead man's chest where she kisses him to distract him from being handcuffed to the mast so he can't escape the kraken, after which he smirks and lovingly hisses "pirate" Awakened something in me that has yet to go to sleep. in conclusion, it is the year of our lord 2021 and i'm still potc trash, a franchise that hasn't been good in 14 years.

whats the hardest tumblr has screwed up your experience - of fandom or just.. the site itself being a Mess?

i'm pretty sure being on tumblr has given me irreparable brain damage. apart from discourse, my behated, i think the sheer awareness of fandom as a thing has soured some experiences. what i mean is that fandom is an option, not a necessity. you can watch a movie, have fun for 2h, and then never think about it again. you can just casually like things without posting about them all day every day. i guess i'm trying to remind myself of that.

other than that, the worst (best?) thing tumblr did to my fandom experience is give me a massive inferiority complex because everyone is on here writing eloquent literature analysis essays about themes and symbolism whereas i'm just like: there are characters... some of them are hot... some of them are important...

(tagging you just in case @first-only)

[hwajin]

disclaimers: this is f!reader angst, expect nothing from me i have bad grammar and im mentally drained. tnx -lorelei/🥟

* minho made an update as i was writing.

心做し (224) ft. 이민호

day 1

to say the least, you were annoyed. too annoyed at the fact you couldn't concentrate in the first day of class. "you should really talk it out with him." jeongin said at you with a concerned look. "i'm not angry i just, hate being second all the time. c'mon ayen, you know that since the first day we became friends."

you were once y/n, the transferee girl. you sat beside jeongin on your first day, who thought you looked cute on your first day.

coincidentally, you liked his friend. a senior who was named minho. assuring to yourself and jeongin that it was nothing more than a crush was the hardest part. being drunk at a party and confessing to him had become what you quote "the best thing i've ever did".

after class ended, you decided to stick with jeongin who became class president and now is tasked to clean the classroom. why were you there? you really trusted him, a lot and as a friend.

"hyung!" jeongin called out to your supposed boyfriend who was walking toward your classroom.

"y/n-ah, bubs, cutie" he said, ignoring the male and rushing to give you a warm hug. "if you feel less, remember i love you so much. today tomorrow forever, remember?" he told you and you just stood there, uncertain how to react.

"y/n you should go home, i'll be waiting for seungmin too." jeongin said with a warm smile, looking at your annoyed face that contrasts minho's neutral face.

for some reason, you and minho walked home not even talking. "i'm-" "please dont remind me again." you coldly said. "i'll make it up to you. iced coffee?" he asked as you shrugged, thinking of your answer but your heart said yes after a second he asked the question.

"i'm super sorry i've been insecure." you muttered while intertwining both your arms. "no big deal. remember that she's a friend." he said as he rubbed your fingers.

you've never really been anyone's first choice, in middle school you never really had a permanent set of friends that treated you like a friend. you were always rejected and your parents never really cared for you as much as other parents do. you knew you grew up quickly, and you're trying to fix yourself as much as you can.

"oh look, the theme park is open today." he said, pointing outside to the moving ferris wheel. "come on, we are fixing the blue, making it color yellow." he said while dragging you outside the coffee shop as you silently drink your coffee.

he put your bangs down slightly, smiling at what he did and ruffles your hair softly. "my y/n is so cute. she's pretty, nice and she is the first person in my mind. "

"minho?" there she was, the girl you hate the most. minho's first love. his family loves her that sometimes you get compared to her. you knew of her existence, unsure if she knew yours though. "ah this must be your new girlfriend!"

noticing your uneasy gazes, minho spoke up. "hi, yeah and we're leaving." he said. "i really don't know where the entrance is, can i come with you? i'm meeting up with my friends." she pouted as you nodded.

"yeah, you're y/n, super cute. minho and you were together since last year? congrats!" she asked and minho was the one to answer. "yeah, here's the entrance to the theme park." he scoffed and held your hand tighter while you walked towards the ferris wheel.

day 2

the next day, you had to bring it up to jeongin and seungmin, people you trusted the most. "yeah its kinda like in a teasing way, i absolutely hate it. its like she wants to punch me in the face and move me out of her way!"

"oh my god, never be a punch bag you can move around." jeongin said. "i'm not a punchbag!" you said in an enthusiasic tone "Y/N ISNT A PUNCHBAG." seungmin accidentally said too loudly, causing the librarian to look and he bowed his head to say sorry. "my bad." he said and the three of you laughed quietly.

day 94

and, you knew it was coming.

after months, she always found a way to be closer to him. after all, she did know him better. while losing time for you, he remembered all the points on why she was his first love after all.

"minho... please dont hurt me anymore mentally. if you want to break up with me, im sorry. i dont know. i just feel too conflicted. i... hate this so much. i want to die. " was the first words you said as he opened up to your door. "i love you y/n." "its always i love you y/n, i love you y/n, fuck do you even mean them?! words aint enough, atleast spend some time with me. i... absolutely hate this."

collapsing to his arms, he felt his tears rushing down his cheeks. "i never knew you felt like that." he said as he caressed your hair. "now you know." you said, as he kissed your tears away. "can we move somewhere else?" he asked, talking about the awkward position you have on the doorway that made you smile.

day 156

"wow, it's snowing!" you said as you tugged minho's arm. "babe, please pay attention to me." you say to your boyfriend over and over again, who has been focusing on his project. you knew it was hard for him, but it was a sunday. and it was a group project. "you done your part yesterday-" "let me finish this first." he said with a scary tone, realizing what he said he decided to let it be for a few moments.

why am i being like this? he asked himself, looking at his girlfriend. his girlfriend, he reminded himself. perhaps he forgot? is his first love comig back to his life?

day 183

"and... thats what i knew. " you said over and over again. "y/n..." "stop messing around with me! you knew i couldve told hwang hyunjin from class c that! i couldve told your friend jisung, i had a crush on them too, but i chose you, and i never regretted it for, one and a half year. you dont even remember our anniversary? could you just ever..." you said, walking away.

"but i wasn't your first choice either." he spit out, and that made you get very angry. "what about now? who is your first choice now, my first choice now would be you. after that day i confessed it became you, i didnt even force myself to. it was because, you were minho i loved. can i... get him back. but fuck no, you played me." you said, and he breathed in and out.

after hours of silence, you left your phone, he noticed. opening the chats and backreading everything, that was the time where indeed he was wrong, he was wrong in all aspects. he never says sorry, its always her. and his phone rang, it was the girl again. he felt a jolt in his heart reading her name, butterflies in his stomach, but he knew there was y/n.

"ah fuck, this is all my fault."

day 192

a week or so since you havent gone to school, thats when you realized your mom cared and told you advice, went online shopping with you. its just that you always view everything negatively.

"someone wants to see you." she said, you hoped it was minho who would tell you sorry.

"y/n... its jeongin and seungmin. i have notes here compiled, even though im from another class. jeongin has english here, are you fine? " they asked while you explained everything.

day 194

deciding to go to school although minho was there was a bad thing. the day consisted of you being mentally unstable, and that wasnt the cherry on top.

"why are you here?" you said once you went out the school campus. "because, i want to. iced coffee?" again, blindly saying yes.

day 200

if you love her, dont be nice anymore. chanted in your head, but cant be said.

" why are you so nice, i know you've fallen out of love. " and he smiled as he looked again at the movie.

"minho. please, give me closure. stop being nice. treat me like a servant. swear at me. tell me im a bitch, whore, i dont know degrade me! please leave my heart alone, i cant cry anymore."

and so he thought for a moment, i cant do that.

day 210

holding you close again while you violently react, he caressed your face softly. tracing each feature and wiping your tears.

screaming, crying, like the storm. but he still held you up, like how he does to you everytime. "it's fine now."

day 224

"if i had a hole in my heart, how do i fix it?" she asked him, the man who she hasnt talked to in 2 weeks. "you've known what it is." he replied subtly.

"its not today tomorrow forever anymore huh. two day, two morrow and four ever. and its feb 24. fucking want to collapse or you just hit me and degrade me like what i said." and you watched him shake his head. "you cant split a heart into two and think it would still work, cant you?"

"but, you can break one into pieces and then they'd pretend its fine." she says with a bitter smile. "please be happy." and those words, those simple words were the confirmation. it was such a bitersweet love, everyone finds their way out of this somehow.

oof wait a minute i gotta read this later I DON'T HAVE TIME RN BUT EVERYONE GO READ