#'idk i think i just don't have the will to do anything'

[peppermintquartz]

Buck volunteers for the Thanksgiving shift. When Maddie asks, he apologizes, saying, "I don't really feel festive right now. But keep some leftovers for me?"

On the day, firehouses around the country all have similar calls to deal with: kitchen grease fires from frying turkeys, sprains in backyard games of football, people injuring one another because "did you hear what she said about our Emma/Francis/Kailey?". Buck is kept too busy to think, and it's nice having the time to catch up with Ravi, who's thinking of going to school to study law.

Their brothers and sisters in uniform also drop off dishes at the station, so between calls, they get pretty good food. Captain Graham gives them an hour offline after four consecutive calls. Buck collapses into a chair and serves himself pasta salad and a delicious honey baked ham, while his dinner rolls warm up in the oven.

He's scrolling through his phone, diligently avoiding the messaging apps, when a message preview pops up.

Tommy.

Buck almost drops his fork. He scrambles away from the dinner table, even though no one on C shift will try to take his phone from him, and finds a spot in the stairwell to read it.

Tommy: hope you have a good & safe Thanksgiving

As he's reading, another bubble appears and Buck's heart skips several beats, but this time it doesn't disappear. A second message arrives, followed by a third.

Tommy: don't know why I texted that

Tommy: guess I just wanted to say something to you

Tommy: you don't have to reply

Tommy: anyway. Happy holidays

Buck feels a slight loosening of the vice around his heart that has been there since that night. With a smile on his face, he types, deletes, types again.

Buck: happy Thanksgiving to you too

Buck: how many kitchen grease fires you got this year? We had 3

Tommy: you're working today?

Tommy: 4, but one of it was in the backyard

They're having a conversation. They're having an actual casual conversation, as easy as they used to on calmer shifts. Buck wants to cry. But he has to answer Tommy's question or have this conversation end too soon. Thinking about his options, he decides that he has nothing to lose anyway.

Buck: I didn't wanna sit around and smile and pretend I'm thankful for everything

Buck: it's better to keep busy

Tommy: I know that feeling

Tommy: I'm sorry

Buck: I'm sorry too

Buck: I wish we could've celebrated together

Buck: I would've said that I'm thankful for you

Tommy: I would have said that too

Tommy: I'm still thankful for you jsyk. I'll always be grateful to have got to know you

Does Tommy think he can't stay in Buck's life just because they broke up?

Buck: I don't think you know me well enough

Tommy: sorry

Buck wishes he'd run after Tommy that night, or done something since to show that he wants Tommy. Well, here's your chance, his brain reminds him. Do something.

He takes a deep breath. Then he types.

Buck: I want to meet. If I come over after Thanksgiving shift, will you please be home?

Tommy: is that a good idea

Buck: idk. But I can't stop thinking about you, and I miss you, and I wanna know what I did wrong. I wanna meet.

Tommy: I miss you too. You didn't do anything wrong, I just didn't want to... Idk. I didn't want to get my hopes up too much.

Buck: we need to talk in person. Texting is not good enough.

It isn't. He needs to see Tommy again. Tommy with his storm blue eyes and tender smile and broad shoulders and soft clothes. Tommy whose crinkly smile drives Buck a little (a lot) insane. Tommy whose lips he now knows the shape of by touch alone, whose body he has mapped out in detail, who knows how it feels to be inside Buck in the most intimate of ways.

He waits for a response. Hopes there will be one. It comes several minutes after, like Tommy had to really think about it.

Tommy: maybe not immediately after Thanksgiving shift

Tommy: are you off on Monday

The relief that crashes into Buck feels almost as overwhelming as the tsunami he was caught in years ago.

Buck: yes

Buck: your place this time

Buck: I'll bring cake

Tommy: you don't have to bribe me to open the door

Buck: no I just baked too much stuff is all. I'll explain when we meet

Buck: I'm really thankful you texted

Tommy: I'm thankful you replied

Tommy: have a good rest of the shift, Evan

It's Evan again. Buck can't hide his smile at all. Tucking his phone into his pocket, he goes back to dinner. Monday can't be here fast enough.

[chiso]

Exercise burns WAY too little calories to beat a bad diet, that is very true. I also lost the weight I lost (which his 20kg since summer 2023) through diet alone. Perhaps I did SOME exercise if you count the physical strength and steps you HAVE to do when you walk around in a warehouse, but I was "fat" back then even while working there before, so I don't think it made that much of a difference.

Ofc it's fine to stay happy and learn to love yourself as you are, I just know that I for myself couldn't and I find myself way more attractive now that I lost weight and for anyone who is like me and wants to shed some kgs without a horrible diet that ends in a yoyo- I'll add what I did under here, btw this is for no profit at all, I just want to help fellow people unhappy in their skin and I thought for WAY TOO LONG that losing weight is impossible, when it's actually not that hard.

It's annoying af, I know, but calories count. Get an app that calculates your daily need of calories. It needs your height, age and weight to know the right number. Once you have that, you can extract 100-300 kcal from that total and make this your goal to eat less of that every day for a few weeks, you'll see the weight WILL get down. The scale will sometimes stay the same weight for weeks though but if you keep going you WILL see the change!

Additional to step 1- 100-300 kcal we sometimes take in just with a sweet drink or a snack. It's not that hard to eat less of it and you can still get full! You can google low kcal meals that you can eat lots of- A personal tip from me is eating thin wraps (the thinner the less kcal) with salmon or other protein fillings- since protein makes you full AND is necessary for weight loss and muscle gain. BTW don't you dare to eat less than that, it WILL hinder your weight loss, we need a certain amount of calories to work!!!!!!

Protein, you have to eat enough protein a day for this all to be lasting. I read you have to eat your bodyweight (kg) in grams of protein in a day. For example, back when I was 60kg, I had to eat 60g protein a day. But also don't beat yourself up over it if you don't get that amount daily, I didn't either, just try to whenever you can, and it'll help!

ADD your workout. I had an app that also counted my steps and automatically added the kcal I burned to my daily kcal app. It motivated me to move more because 10k steps is like 100kcal and that was 100kcal I could eat more even WHILE dieting.

Cheat meals. Important: MEAL not day, every Saturday or Sunday I had a cheat meal, sometimes even smth as big as a burger on TOP of my usual daily intake. It helps your metabolism and body to stop thinking you're starving (which makes weight loss slower) so it's not only helpful in case you're starving to eat more (bc ngl it WILL be hard until your stomach has shrinked a lil but you can do it if I did bby) but also helps your diet physically fr! So do these!!! Reward yourself for your hard work

"So does that mean I will 4ever have to count calories?" God no, I did it for over a year until I was sick of it myself. I went from 68kg down to 49kg, when I stopped counting I gained again ofc, but I still know now what contains how many calories and know by heart what I can eat and what I shouldn't. I am 52kg for months now and I don't gain anything more and even if I would, I would know now how to lose it again if it gets really bad. THAT WAS BASICALLY already it. I know not every day will be easy and sometimes you WILL mess up. The trick is not to beat yourself up over it and keep going! Wearing the cute clothes you always wanted to wear will be SO rewarding and worth it, at least it was for me. Disclaimer that I never had children, don't have diabetes, and am in my early 30ies so idk if this will work for everyone but it did for me, and if this just helps one soul my job here is already done!!

Me: Exercise does not cause weight loss. This is a fact that has been demonstrated so robustly in research that even doctors, who hate and fear evidence, are grudgingly starting to admit this.

Someone reading that post: Cool, but have you considered that exercise leads to weight loss?

Me: I am going to eat you

[yan-randomfandom]

Hii! Could I request a yan! Jinx with a darling who is on hunger strike? (Bacically, darling got kidnapped and so she decided to stop eating till she gets freed...is that even a word?)

Anyways, ty 4 reading my request and I would be really happy if you were to fuffil it <3

Make sure u drink enough water!

Yandere!Jinx x GN!Starving!Reader

a/n: thank you for your kind words anon! 😺 i just realized how much energy i gave mc here omg 😭🙏

tw; starvation, kidnapped MC ermm

💧 ;

Stubbornness is something both you and Jinx share. It's built into your very core. She knows this, and yet, here we are.

You're tied to a chair, looking away from her with a deep frown on your face—unwilling to eat.

"My sweetest," Jinx groans, dragging out her words. "Darling, baby, angel..." She places her hands on the back of your chair, her breath brushing the tip of your nose—"beloved."

...

You roll your eyes. "It stinks."

With an offended gasp, she recoils from you, her eye twitching. "I— You— Come on! At least I had dinner, but you? You haven't eaten anything for days!"

As if the Gods have a sense of humor, your stomach lets out a loud, drawn-out rumble. It goes on for a few moments... like her hideout wasn't quiet enough already. You have half the heart to glance at Jinx, who's watching you with an unimpressed expression.

Against your better judgment, and despite the deadly stomachache, you don't say anything.

Jinx pushes the bowl of food in front of you. "...Your, uh, stomach's hungry. Please. I just want you to eat—"

"I want you to let me go," you snap, glaring at her. You emphasize your point by rattling the chair with your frail limbs in frustration. "It doesn't help that you tied my arms and legs up. Honestly."

She returns your look, almost clueless. "It didn't have to be that way! You kept trying to escape!"

"I wonder why!!"

An annoyed groan. You can't even tell if it was from you, or her. Maybe both.

...

...

"...I told you I can't," she mutters softly. Not when she started a war.

You scoff and turn away. "Not that you can't. You won't."

Jinx does not reply.

Then, she chuckles. "Still amazin'. All this energy, even in starvation."

...

You press your lips together. Truth be told, you're barely holding it together. You're simply not giving up. Even if it's out of spite. Especially.

She starts walking. The sound of her booted footsteps grows fainter and fainter until, finally—the exit closes.

Jinx left you.

Nothing else accompanies you but the quiet humming and faint lights in her hideout.

Your body seizes the chance to collapse, eyes closing in one blink.

...

The next time you wake up, you grudgingly rub your eyes. A yawn escapes you.

You stretch your body. Your joints pop, relief spreading all across—

Wait.

You sit up from the softest surface you've ever been on in a while. It takes a moment to clear your vision, but once it does, you fall in disbelief.

Lifting your hand, you eye your wrists suspiciously. The patterns of the rope is still visible. But faint. It must have been a while since they were removed.

The chair you've been stuck in for days is gone. Your limbs are untied, finally fucking free from the numbness. A small fan offers a refreshing breeze next to you.

Your heart starts racing.

A whiff of your favorite scent. You perk up.

There's a glass of water filled with ice on the table. Beside it, an irresistible array of food. All your favorite types.

You don't even think twice.

either u try to escape or eat the food—your choice. do both tho cuz u might idk die

[mariacallous]

I'm seeing a lot of anti-McBride trans people on bluesky acting like being trans is what gives them authority (like a Parker Malloy skeet "it's NOT JUST ABOUT HER. SHUT UP IF YOU AREN'T TRANS YOU DON'T GET IT") and like, idk, I think this really shows that there are other divides within marginalized groups beyond just broad membership in a marginalized group. Contrapoints - who of course got shit from these people for it - has pointed out before that wealthy white trans women who work in tech should maybe chill out on how they appropriate the pain of TWOC who are in high contact sex work, and who make up the vast majority of murders of trans women by male partners. and i think there's a reckoning here that maybe people who work in fields like journalism and academia where there are probably a disproportionate number of people who at least aren't going to throw a shitfit over one trans woman using the bathroom, who are at least trans-supportive enough not to be problems for these people's employment, are mayyyyybe not the best judges of what a politician should do about a rule THAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN ANYWAY, NO MATTER WHAT SHE DOES, BECAUSE REPUBLICANS CONTROL THE HOUSE AND MAKE THE RULES. (the other issue is too many Online Talkers coming from the tech world or other stuff where they don't actually know much about American politics, but are disproportionately likely to think they are experts on everything anyway. This is true of a few fields but I single out tech because I think it's the worst and wayyyy too many online pundits these days come from that world and know fuck all about anything else.) and I think that's why there doesn't seem to be a neat sorting of cis vs. trans in terms of who has sensible, compassionate takes and who thinks yelling online is the only barometer of strength. Because it's really more about whether you understand politics, whether you're aware of how the far right works and the particularly difficult situation the first trans woman is in about how she has to respond to this to not make things even worse, than about being cis vs. trans. ....Although actually one pattern I have noticed is that the most rancid takes are disproportionately coming from white trans people, and a lot of the best takes are coming from POC and particularly black people both cis and trans. Probably because they have some understanding of the issues that surround being the first of a marginalized minority in Congress, and how that has played out for for instance the first black politicians, that a lot of historically- and politically-illiterate white people just do not!

Literally all of this makes sense and none of it surprises me.

[inbabylontheywept]

Hi there! I just read through a few of your long form posts -- the one about the boss and the glue traps and the lizards, the one about the friend and the radishes and the cop, and the one about the breakup and the car and the neighbor's car and your dad -- and I'm just really blown away by your writing. And I'm just curious, are they actual experiences or are they fiction? They read like actual experiences, and the writing is so naturalistic and...idk, low key sweet, stream of consciousness without the major sidetracking that often happens in stream of consciousness writing and also more...more poetical in a way, I guess. I don't know. Are you published or wanting to? I mean I couldn't help with that or anything but if you've got a book out I'd love to read it.

Patrick McManus was kind of THE legendary writer to my family. When my dad was a kid, he'd sit on the porch the door that the monthly copy of Outdoor Life was going to arrive, and as soon as he got it, he'd run in with it and take it to his dad, who would gather all his kids around and read the stories out loud.

My dad loved it because his dad would make a whole performance out of the readings: He'd do voices, pantomimes, dramatic sound effects, the works. The stories are amazing, but the out-of-character behavior from his dad was half the selling point. Grandpa Hank was, to his core, a good man. But he was gruff, and socially, pretty stiff, and he didn't often show emotion. I think my dad said he saw him tear up one time growing up, and it was when he got dropped off at the MTC. My mom was married to my dad for three years before Grandpa Hank was comfortable enough to sit down in their house, and he liked her. That's just how he was.

(You just praised me for not getting sidetracked, but I'm letting myself wander down those memories a bit. He died last year. I miss him terribly.)

Anyway: Those stories were how I first started learning how to spin a yarn. I got older and I got more influence than just cowboys and Westerns, but the soul of my style is still just The American Tall Tale.

Which is to say that they're not outright fabrications. When I say that I cut all the worms up in my backyard and had a panic attack and hid in a tree until my mom got me, that happened. But I only remember the vaguest outlines of the words that were said. When there's a line in that story about my mom telling me that she's sure the worms will forgive me because they got six hearts to love and no bones to pick, that's not how she talks. That's how I talk.

Other stories, they're far less fuzzy than that, but I can still point out things I don't know. Wrestling story was from middle school, and a lot of those "crisp details" are just me painting by vibe. I've had some people that did wrestling through highschool point out things like refs not actually counting to three, or how double-legs are not actually super effective for tall wrestlers. I don't actually know how much the woman I wrestled weighed, nor do I remember how much I weighed, except that I was more than two weight classes smaller than her. Car incident, I got broke up with, went to her parents door, waited on the lawn, and was given some olives to go with a wireless phone. But exact wording of a lot of the people involved fails me. As a rule, the weirder an event is, the more likely I am to be distinctly remembering it and not just filling in the background. Except for dialogue, which often turns out weird because when I have to make up things for other characters to say, it carries too much of my own speaking style in it, and that's always been weird.

There are even points where things do come right off the rails. In the stories about J post, J himself became a sort of mythic figure after he moved, and lot of the stories about him, I don't even know I'm remembering them first hand or second hand from a story someone else shared with me.

I know it would be easier to just go, yeah, they're true, or no, they're not, but I did a weird thing and mixed them up and now even I'm a little confused.

Regarding publishing: I'm not published, and the thought of trying to get published scares the shit out of me. I

I don't know. If anyone has advice, I'd be interested.

[julymusings]

Jason Todd & Cooking

I always go back and forth on how much I want to include "Jason loves to cook" in my writing because I'm not sure how much is canon and how much is fanon so can we open it up to discussion pretty please I'd love to hear other people's thoughts.

Here are my arguments:

Experience: Jason grew up poor and largely had to parent himself. So he must know a little bit of cooking, even if it's the bare basics that's only enough to keep him alive. It's plausible this taught him how to be creative and thrifty with meals because he had to make do with whatever he had, so we can assume that if you drop him in a kitchen with random ingredients, he can figure something out.

Knife skills: I've seen other authors (myself included) write him as good in the kitchen because he's efficient with a knife from being a vigilante. I don't have much to say on this, just that I think that's also a fair assumption considering he underwent training with the League of Assassins and became highly-skilled with wielding blades.

Love language: He's the kind of person who, due to his trauma, has difficulty opening up to people and trusting them (it's confirmed he cries during sex so this is an objective fact idc). When it comes to having a romantic partner, it might not be easy for him to express affection through words, so he relies on actions. If you like flowers, he buys you flowers. If you like a dish, he makes it for you. So yeah, this might not have concrete evidence in canon, but I'm gonna choose to believe that he would enjoy cooking for someone he loves.

Art hoe?: We know he appreciates good literature, so does that extend to other forms of creativity?

Hands: (I don't actually know how much of this is based in canon but whatever) He likes to work on his bike, he's meticulous with taking care of his guns & weapons, so it's safe to assume he likes working with his hands. So even if it's not something he loves to do as a "safe space" because of cherished memories with Alfred or anything, he might still enjoy it.

^^on that note, what do you think some of his 'safe spaces' are? Like I guess reading would be one, maybe working on his bike would be another? Idk, what does anyone else think. p.s. I'm using safe space to mean something that makes him feel happy and gives him a break from his demons yk

Also I did only make this as a defense for the "Jason Todd had a charcuterie board obsession phase" post sitting in my drafts because I BELIEVE he DID!!!!!!!!

Anyway please let me know your thoughts I'm frothing at the mouth for human interaction

[eris-i-was-crazy-once]

Vi SFW HC's

A/n this is my first time ever writing in my life so please be nice 😭🙏(please don't take these to seriously)

Warnings, language, talking about periods??, eating problems (idk tho) (Please let me know if there's anything else 🙏)

Would either be very nervous meeting your parents or wouldn't give a fuck (I can't decide)

I think if you're from piltover she would indulge in every delicacy she can, bc she couldn't do that when she was younger

I think that her periods used to be very painful as a teen, but then once she got thrown into Stillwater, she either had them very rarely or stopped having them at all

And on the same topic, I think once Vi got her period in the middle of the night, and then when they all woke up, and she got out of bed, Milo definitely pointed to the bed and asked what that was or asked if she was hurt from a job they did the previous night (claggor or vander probably had to explain what a period was to him 😭)

I think she often gets nightmares or even flash backs about her getting beaten up in Stillwater

I think when she moves in with you or after the war, she may have trouble sleeping because she's not used to having such a comfortable place to sleep so her body just instinctively tenses up

I think she would want to make one of the corners of the garden in your guys's house as a memorial for everyone that she lost, would probably ask ekko to paint something

She over eatsor under eats there's no in between for a while because she's not used to eating regularly, so sometimes she under eats because she forgets, or over eats, because she fears she doesn't know the next time she will eat

She moves around a lot when she sleeps and probably is also a sleep talker (she denies it though)

she would take hour long showers or baths just because she didn't have that luxury growing up

I can imagine if you took her to some performance or Opera, she would probably be bored as fuck and end up doing something stupid

I definitely think that once she first starts living with u, she definitely gets lost half the time and has to ask one of the servants to show her to a room

On a similar topic, I don't think she would ask the servants of anything, although that's what they're there for, I think she would rather do it herself or she would feel bad.

She LOVES it when u wash her hair, she might fall asleep

She probably wouldn't want any other clothes than her rags, so she would probably wear them until they're literally falling apart, then look for once that look as similar as they can to the old ones

She compliments you all the time, but when you compliment her she turns red in the face and she's stunned for a few seconds

Loves when you help her take her bandages off and put them on

[cupidbedsy]

hiii!!

i hope you’re having a good day!

i was just wondering if you could give some of your blog recs?

yes of course!! i love answering this question :)

〚 @sweetestdesire 〛 ; okay i never mean to do this on purpose but somehow brynn is always the first blog i think of when i think blog recs because i think something deep with in me just needs to share my love for her and her fics. if there's anything that should tell you to read her fics is that i was once a brynn fanpage and i would go back to that era ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @sweethischier 〛 ; abby is so sweet and omg i just love her so much. i can never get enough of her and what she does and i always know i can get the best nico contnet from her and i'm so grateful for her ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @toasttt11 〛 ; my lovely toasty! i love toast so much, every time i get a notification that she posts a new fic or au i'm jumping at my phone and clicking the notification as fast as i can when i'm able. i absolutely love all of her au's and her mind is absolutely beautiful ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @19mercer 〛 ; oml rey is such ana amazing person. idk how or when i started calling her reyrey but i wll now always call her that because that's just what i think about when i see her posts. anyway, her au's are absolutely adorable and i love them sm ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @asunsetgrace16 〛 ; audrey is my yapper girl that i love to yap with. it's truly the most random conversations and it's so fun just to have that relationship with her, i wouldn't change it for the world. plus i absolutely love her fics too, they are always the sweetest thing to read ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @lukesvangelista 〛 ; okay shea might be my guilty pleasure in this very moment as i'm writing this. and yes, i have read all of her fics multiple times and i won't stop talking about them ever. if you're not reading her fics what're you doing? ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @rowdyluv 〛 ; cay is the one who supports my thirsting and i couldn't be more thankful for her for encouraging me. she's one of my favorite hype girls, plus just seeing any notif from her makes me smile ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @hhughes 〛 ; omg cami! so so so so amazing, her blog is just scratches my brain in the right way. and not to mention if i even see a blurb from her i am all in and sat down to read it ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @wineauntie 〛 ; ivy's mind is honestly such a wonder to me. i cannot believe all of the things she comes up with and let me tell you, i want to kiss her mind every time a fic comes out. (the quinn and bunny series is all i need in my life, thank you thank you thank you for your service) ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @winterbarnesblog 〛 ; MY GIRL!!! sitting here giggling and kicking my feet just thinking about her. ana and i have gotten so close and i'm so thankful fo rit because she's honestly all-around amazing. and her au's- don't even get me started ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @lovesickhughes 〛 ; oh what to say what to say about liv. i love everything liv does and i may or may not have caught myself staring at her blog for minutes on end bc it's so pretty. she's so sweet and nice and i love her overall! ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @wintfleur 〛 ; roro's fics are the just the thing i need after a long day. i love curling up on my couch and just reading them with a mug of tea, it's so perfect. and plus i do have to talk about her blog vibe because it's just so pretty and amazing ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @heartsaturn 〛 ; truly truly the only girl that i relate to when it comes to being a chicago fan, it is an absolutely different feeling that you can only feel in the city of chicago and i'm so glad i have her to bond of it. she is so amazing to talk to and i love reading everything she writes ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @isaadore 〛 ; isa is an absolute gem and so are her fics. she's always so sweet to me and has helped me with so much and every time i get to talk to her i'm so happy! ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @star2fishmeg 〛 ; there are truly no words to describe how much i adore meg. sitting down to talk with her is so fun and i can gush about her writing if you ask me to at any moment, just go on and on, truly no shutting me up. also she's one of my resident luke girlies so like bonding! ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @luke-hughes43 〛 ; i love meg so so so much. honestly just talking to her can make my day and i love our little ocnversations we have here and there. her au's are adorable and just the sweetest thing ever ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @delilaahh9 〛 ; lilah is an amazing person to talk to her and her will au is absolute perfection. everyone needs a lilah in their life, i'm sure of it. ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @prettyboysinmyheart 〛 ; a is a wonder, and that's that. i cannot tell you how much i love her and how loved she makes me feel. she is always one of the first people to give her support and comment on something that makes yous o happy. so is the sweetest person ever ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @daniiiboo 〛 ; dani's fics are a work of art and i cannot express how much i love them. she deserves all the love in the world and so much endless support ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @wusyanamegirlfriend 〛 ; elise is so wonderful to talk to and yap with! our conversations never cease to entertain me and i could rms me on and on forever with her ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @crazy4smitty 〛 ; i'd like everyone to meet who got me on my will smith shit and i'm never looking back. everyone should go thank her and support her. no but actually, i love reading her au's and her fics and i just get so giggling when i see one ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @thedevilrisen 〛 ; cici is the kindest person ever and she's so fun to talk to. the amount of random shit i say that she supports is actually so impressive if i'm honest. she deserves the biggest thanks for putting up with me and my convos. also her fics *chefs kiss* ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

〚 @anqeliclust 〛 ; okay immediately the first thing i think of when i think harls is how cute her blog is bc it's honestly immpeciable. back to what i actually wanted to say - one of the biggest hype woman i've come to known! she's so sweet and funny and i always love reading her feedback after she reads one of my fics bc it makes me feel so honored ; ꒰ navigation ! ꒱

and any of my other mutuals! i probably forgot some people so blame me and my poor memory

i should really make a post of all my mutuals

[sillygreml]

note: this is just me anxious rambling, im not really contributing anything of note

im so terrified that i will freeze up in a situation where a friend needs me. i might just be experiencing my anxiety disorder rn because the one time (i'm very sheltered) that was scary i was able to act and support my friend, but idk. i don't understand why people freeze and it frightens me that they seem to genuinely believe they would protect you (is this naive?) but freeze up anyway, because i want to think i would protect a friend but what if i didnt?

but then, the idea of comforting the person crying instead is so psychologically jarring like -- i know it is because transmisogyny but i find it so hard to understand their actions. were they genuine about thinking they would protect her if their first reaction is to comfort the person who didn't help? i mean obviously not because they didn't help, but like, did they believe they would? what stopped them?

the only take away is that they have an underlying belief that trans women experience less distress and/or that their distress is less important to console than someone else (<- this seems more likely).

am i being too generous in assuming they do think that they care? (i dont think so.) if they do think that they care, and i think that i care, what if i do something like this to someone? im on the verge of tears but i feel ashamed for behaving like the 'friend' even though its an imaginary scenario i made up in my head

An experience i had that made me like 100% more cynical with the way people treat trans women is when one time i got harassed in public for being a trans woman and my theyfab friend cried because they felt bad for not sticking up for me and i watched as my other friends comforted them and not me lol

TME people would rather be the idea of an ally to transfem people than actually be there for us, because it makes them feel woke like an expression of their deep and tortured soul.

what you’re describing here is basically the final form of the most common trans experience with TME people — when i came out, somewhere between half a dozen and a dozen cis women & theyfabs that i knew (i didn’t know many men at the time but they do this too) told me, if anybody ever gives you a problem i’ll give them a black eye! i’ll be right there for you, sticking up for you! i was told it so many times i even believed it. of course, when i actually was harassed by older cis men when i was walking home from school all of them who were walking WITH ME just totally ignored him even thought they outnumbered him like five to one. every single one of them froze up.

everybody wants to be a hero. everybody wants to be patted on the back for being such an amazing ally to trans women. but it’s just tourism a more marginalised experience. they don’t actually care about helping us, just about tooting their own horns. incredibly common experience. i’m really, really sorry that happened to you. you deserve so much more.

[yandere-daydreams]

Daytrip Illumi my beloved... and poor Darling. You capture how unnerving and unsettling he should be so well!

Illumi should be Strange and Uncanny even at his mildest(? not sure if an Illumi in love could be 'mild', but idk if it could be called volatile either. Darling was right, you can't ever tell with him); man was cosplaying Pinhead for a week. He could talk the whole time but just literally rattled at people. And poor Ghost, my stomach just dropped because everything so far was downright too tame and too thoughtful for a Yandere.

Aside from the porn, I was waiting for that drop. Darling really can't have nice things, can't she? Or rather, she can't have anything he's not able to take. Whether a Darling is defiant (Obedience Training, Ingress) or submissive (Daytrip) he's always going to pile on the trauma.

But the moment he started mouthing and groping at her in the car, I knew he was out of patience. Everything else that day was window dressing and foreplay, and the bit where she picks a cute, frilly, puff-sleeved dress really sold the toy and doll comparison later, she was so right at the observation that Illumi took her as a ballerina for his music box. In the end, the daytrip really wasn't for her to enjoy: he ripped up her dream dress, dashed her hope that her cat was doing well without her, and didn't get to eat anything at the picnic aside from the morsel he gave her. Girl couldn't even enjoy the scenery cause he blocked it off with himself. The end was so despondent in comparison to the beginning where she resolves to take any out that presents itself, falling asleep and giving into the dark (Illumi) swallowing her.

And meanwhile, Illumi's just had an epiphany on why his parents kept having kids even after the designated heir Killua. And also patting himself on the back cause he checked off all the boxes on his 'perfect romantic date to-do list', and gotten the *ideal* ending of having finally lost his v-card. 10/10, Great Day. Would do again sometime (but not too soon).

The juxtapostion between her opinion of how the daytrip went and his opinion of how it went must be... something. I almost don't want to know, and I don't know how to properly describe what this made me feel, but it's visceral.

i love it when you people treat my silly little fics like they need to be studied under a microscope,,,, i will be living on this ask for weeks thank you anon <3

illumi just makes me,,, yeah. i feel like there's so little you can do to actually fight against him (running's not an option when he has you under surveillance 24/7, fighting a seasoned hitman won't end well, etc.), but good behavior only makes him more likely to proceed with the awful things he would've done anyway, had you spent every minute from your inevitably kidnapping kicking, screaming, and cursing his name. he's got a running checklist of uncomfortable positions he'd like to see you in, and it's less a question of when you'll be ready for it and more what he'll have to do to make you compliant enough to be, if not a willing participant, than a docile one. i think he does care about your feelings and you loving him back, but your priorities are so drastically different that you two are never actually going to end up on the same page. in his mind, he's done his research (i.e. played roughly a hundred hours of the most popular dating sims he could get his hands on), been a good partner, and taken very good care of his beloved doll/pet/captive. in yours, you've been violated and abused by the man who both kidnapped you and admitted to killing your cat without blinking, and there's very little reconciliation from there.

[hummingbird-hunter]

Okay so upon replaying inquisition I understood something and it's not like a hot take or anything and also I haven't played either origins or da2 so like what do I know.

But one of the reasons people say that "veilguard is a good game but it's not a dragon age game" (which is valid depending on the reasoning, it is very different) and also that "dragon age used to be dark!!" (veilguard has plenty dark moments tonally and inquisition isn't as dark as you remember it) is because veilguard is... not as dark.

Not tonally, but literally (and I'm comparing it to inquisition only so correct me if I'm wrong) it is much brighter. The scenes, the characters, the lighting — veilguard is bright, whereas inquisition has this dim, medieval fantasy setting and light you would expect from such a game.

Veilguard has different aesthetics, settings, art style even, which is not common among games in similar settings. And I think this is what coulours people's perception of it, at least partially.

(Not that there isn't stuff to critique, especially comparing to inquisition; I know a lot of people have issues with the fact that there weren't a lot of choices transferred from past games, but for me personally I think it's excusable by the fact that it's set a decade later in a completely different part of thedas. What I am noticing is the lack of choices in the game itself, and what could possibly affect the next game, if we'll get one (playing it originally I liked that it had a linear narrative, but looking back it makes the game seem much smaller and shorter than it actually is). But I suppose it's just different that way. Rook isn't a politician or a leader of some big army, they're literally just a guy leading seven other guys to stab a cloud. And them being Just A Guy isn't necessary good or bad, it's just different. But given that veilguard is sort of a soft reboot, I don't think straying away from what you'd expect based on previous games is a flaw, in my opinion at least)

Anyways these are just my two cents I started with a point and ended on a rant and idk yeah

[a-heart-of-kyber]

It's interesting that I've seen at least one person say "Mel is a born Mage and Viktor is an Artificial one." Which holds this negative connotation regarding Viktor’s abilities and also...feels a bit off base.

We actually don't know if Viktor was a born Mage or not. Mel is in her 30s, and her powers have only just activated. Why would it be different for Viktor?

At the very least, Viktor was literally Fated to be The Mage. He's on some divine destiny shit.

It's also interesting that it's not until Viktor shows up that Jayce gets anywhere with Hextech. Literally, at the trial, Mel asks if he has anything to show for his studies other than an explosion, and Jayce says that nothing ever came of them. Then, suddenly, it's the movements of The Mage that Jayce recalls to stabilize the Hex Gem...and he's doing it while that same Mage is standing right next to him.

The first initial bit of genuine magic in the present time is Viktor bleeding on the Hexgate and receiving the vision of the Hexcore. It's also a bit wibbly wobbly on whether or not he is the Hexcore and the Hexcore was Always him. It basically spawned from his actual blood.

Also, The Black Rose says, "The Arcane is waking up." Whilst Viktor is essentially doing that? It seems the stronger Viktor gets, the stronger other magic users get.

Idk man, I actually think its pretty damn plausible that Viktor was also a born Mage the more I think about it. His abilities were just latent like Mel's were. And they started activating before Mel's did.

It also suits the idea of the line "In all time lines, in all possibilities, only you can show me this." People are assuming that Viktor just doesn't get magic unless Hextech exists, but this line is telling you that isn't the case. Future!Viktor has lived lives where he has magic without ever meeting Jayce, but it's only through meeting Jayce that he can be saved.

[hsfavoriteworlds]

Hi! Please allow me to hijack ur post real quick because I'm one of the people who posted this and i wanted to elaborate on my pov

I am a gmmtv girlie and I almost religiously (HA!) tune in to all their shows. I wouldn't condemn them or drag them for shits and giggles. I'm just a bit apprehensive with this particular show bec of the subject matter. And it's not that I doubt backaof's ability to handle it (this man gave us two of my fav shows ever: bb and atots-- he did disappoint me with LT and unfortunately in a way that ruined my experience forever with it but i digress). However, all i fear is that gmmtv sometimes avoid going "too serious" in their shows and backtrack on their original message. They have this tendency to lean into comedy to break up heavy moments, and while that can work, it also sometimes causes a bit of tonal dissonance when it's overdone, especially (I'm assuming here) in a show like ticket to heaven. On top of that, they’ve struggled lately to really stick the landing on some shows. It doesn’t ruin the entire story for me, but it does affect my overall enjoyment, even if I still hold the show close to my heart afterward. But with a show like ticket to heaven, it can go really bad real quick.

That said, I'm not out here hating on ALL their shows or claiming they can't be trusted because they lean towards fluff or aren't always "serious" or angsty. 😭 I am a proud fluff lover (I would defend We Are with my life). It goes without saying that fluff doesn’t mean they can’t handle serious topics, and it's definitely not a reason to underestimate gmmtv and what they've done for the bl genre overall.

But again, it’s not all black and white. Loving gmmtv/backaof doesn’t mean I have to withhold all criticism just because they’ve made so many of my favorite shows. I’ll still wait, watch, and form my own judgement (albeit I'm not very hard to please to begin with lmao). And i am still so excited for ticket to heaven and a lot of their other upcoming shows

‘can we trust gmmtv with ticket to heaven’ idk can we stop acting like gmmtv has never made anything worth watching

[bunnygirllover45]

Hii!! I’m kinda obsessing over the Idea of Johann before he kidnapped his darling, going out to buy clothes and him just enjoying it WAY more than Darling. Like bro’s INTO it, picking out dresses and making darling do a fashion show for him?? Just wanted to put this thought out there lol. Idk if he’d actually do that but I can dream,,,, Anyways that’s all— thank you!!!!

Anon you're into some shit rn and I totally agree with you. Johann would do that 100%. TW: Darling had a past relationship that wasn't too nice, mentions of body insecurity, hints of dollification but it's Johann who are we talking about this is obvious by now.

Your past relationship before Johann wasn't the best, you weren't used to him buying you stuff so carelessly or taking you every other day. At first, it was a little hard to get accustomed to the sudden change, but eventually, you started to like it. Except for the part where you and he had to go to the clothing store. Each time Johann stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of a date to point at a cute outfit sitting in the window of a random store, a part of you internally screamed for him not to drag you inside.

Speaking about that— "You like these? These frills might be itchy on your skin though..." —yes, you were trapped inside another store again. Taking in a deep breath you stared at Johann, then at the dress he was holding. No matter how often you told him you either didn't like this style of clothing or that it wouldn't look good in it, he still made you buy and wear the stuff. Of course, he only made you wear it when both of you were alone, there's no way he'd let you look this adorable in front of someone else.

You wondered how many more clothes he could buy you, after all, even if Johann made sure to visit you almost every day, his job kept him from being with you all the time. Most of the time he kept some of the clothes in his house too, he had a 'special place for them', out of context that phrase could be worrying, but Johann was such a sweetheart behind that stoic exterior that you didn't really question it. As he grabbed another piece of clothing you shot your hands to grab his forearm, squeezing softly as you smiled up to him. "J-Johann, I don't think I'd look good on that. I have many dresses back at home too, you shouldn't buy mo—" But before you could even finish you felt Johann leaning down to whisper against your ear, his voice soft and secretive. "I think you'd look good in anything." the ghost of a smile appeared on his lips. "I've always wanted to take care of someone as precious as you, would you let me do that?" There was serious longing in his voice. From all the past experiences you had with him, you clearly noticed that ache to fulfill a role that Johann always had. Taking care of you during dates, making sure you didn't get sick, and even aftercare with him was a blissful experience. All the things he told you about feeling empty and without a purpose in life, it's like a part of him has been waiting all this time to have this, to have you. You stood stunned, questioning if you should feel even more embarrassed or prideful, he looked at you with an adoration written in his eyes that made you shiver, and you felt a little guilty at how much you enjoyed it. "Here, we can buy these and try them out at home, how does that sound?" You nodded, giving him a compliant smile as you reached to hug his arm. "Okay... thank you." One hand snaked its way around your waist, squeezing slightly as he kissed you on the top of the head, nuzzling against it. "You're welcome, baby."

[sophsicle]

haha so like who is jack hughes he’s all over my fyp

oh my god.

thank u so much 4 this ask.

lets talk about it.

let me paint u a scene.

SO. Jack Hughes. he is, first and foremost, a middle child. this, i feel, is important information. he also looks like a lil doll.

WHICH. is a complicated thing 2 look like in hockey. because, on the one hand, u have mass appeal amongst teenage girls (boys and theys) but you automatically have the hatred of all old men who watch hockey and young men named some variation of Brayden who "would have made it if they didn't break their pinky finger in juniors" or whatever. and now they look at jack hughes who is both pretty and talented and they hate him. so sad 4 them. they should probs get over that tho. also he is 5'11. which he will tell you. agressively. is not small. but average. AVERAGE HEIGHT. SO. just - jot that right down, okay???????? (again, 4 context, anything below six ft. in hockey is small TM)

ANYWAY SO. Jack Hughes, pretty lil boi that he is, goes first overall in the draft in 2019 (i think) at age 18, because the nhl is a cradle robber, and, if u don't know how the draft works, the worse the team the earlier they get to pick, so he goes to one of the worst teams in the league (the new jersey devils) and in a SHOCKING turn of events this teenager does not manage to save this team immediately and therefore is attacked.

(sad jack hughes edits are my JAM i'm gonna be real)

HOWEVER, Jack Hughes's super power, and i say this with the utmost love and affection, is that he is. dumb. and he simply never once stops believing in himself. like truly, the dumber u are the less anxiety u have. one time. his team was not that great but they were winning games somehow and a reporter asked him about it and he was like "yeah we're just too stupid to lose. like we don't know we're bad so we don't know we're supposed to lose" which. tbh *inspiring*

being dumb also means he is unintentionally one of the funniest players in the nhl.

ALSO, idk how to explain this. but like. there's a whole thing where he didn't know how to cook broccoli one time, and it haunts him 2 this day and it makes me laugh.

BUT the most important thing to understand about Jack Hughes is that he loves his brothers. he has an older brother, Quinn, who is A GEM. a gift. the sweetest hockey play 2 ever hockey. and a younger brother Luke, who plays on his team. and these boys do nothing but support each other 24/7 it is truly HEART WARMING. and precioussss.

"my brothers are good hockey players, but they're better people" - Luke Hughes

Last, but not least. Jack Hughes is a member of the NHL boy band known as Trevor Zegras, Cole Caulfield and Jack Hughes. All pretty and very good players who were on the same juniors team and are now in the NHL

AND THAT is Jack Hughes lore 101 I feel

[my-halo-is-a-little-broken]

Examples of what i had hoped they would expand on (I would have loved filler episodes or at least wish they hadn't cut so much out):

What exactly did Silco do that made Vander attack? We know it's connected to the bridge and Felica, but we never know what the reason was other than a vague, "Vander wanted to stop fighting, Silco didn't".

How did Vander and Silco make up in the au? Did Vi trigger Silco to go back to blisters and bedrock upon learning one of Felicia's kids, the very first one that created the blisters and bedrock convo, was no longer living?

Did the girls, or at least Vi, know Silco at all from the "before" times?

Was it Silco and Vander making up that led to the undercity improving? Was it something else, like Heimerdingers' influence? It couldn't have just been Hextech not being invented.

What was Vi and Jinxs bio dad like?

How did Viktor manage to make it from the Undercity and rise all the way up to being Heimerdingers assistant? I'm not saying it's impossible, but we've seen the barriers and such that make it hard for people from the Undercity to achieve great heights in Piltover.

What happened to make the Firelights even consider listening to Sevika and seeminly develop a partnership? Was it a talk? Desperation? Scar doesn't seem the type to fold easily.

Sevika's reaction to Isha, or anything from her in Act 3, really. How did she get on the council, and what was her reaction to it?

Jinx and Echo prepping for the final battle. I wanna know how they made Jinxs' dirigible(?).

Who did Ambessa fall in love with? What exactly did she steal? Was it Mel in general? Or the magic Mel ended up with?

Did Jayce end up jumping in the au, or was he just exiled? Did he and Cait blow up in the apartment explosion?

Why did Vi trust Loris so much? What was their friendship like?

Why was Loris not on the front lines or being the "shield" he's shown as?

What was with the look in Stillwater when Ambessa saw the disgused Jinx and Sevika?

Vi's pitfighting arc.

Jinx and Isha getting close.

Mel. Her time captured, getting back to Piltover, anything to do with her.

Singed creating Warwick. That was a long time to experiment on a (seemingly) lifeless body until things turned just right for it to "work".

What happened to Lest?

Does Vi know about Cait's suspicions about Jinx living? I personally don't think so, as I feel Vi wouldn't give up on trying to reunite with her. Even with Jinxs permission to be happy with Cait, Vi isn't the type to give up on her sister. She would at least want to keep in contact. You're telling me this woman survived years in Stillwater and all the other bullshit mainly for her sister, and then just decides to let her go?

How does Warwick "survive" (like being able to make blood) Isha blowing everything up with the gems, but apparently doesn't survive falling and Jinxs bomb? I know he has regeneration, but one of those is worse than the other, and yet he survives it.

Do Ekko and Vi bond more? Both of them have lost Powder/Jinx, and they're the only two left from each others childhood.

I'm sure this will eventually get covered in the other series they're planning, but it appears Orianna (is that how you spell her name? Idk, I don't play LoL) is similar to the creatures Viktor makes, so how is she "alive"?

Is Bandle City outside of timelines, or is Heimer gone from "our" timeliness forever?