#'i was wondering if you had to re-audition'

[theresa-of-liechtenstein]

saw one of my honors professors by chance while hiding from my DJ classmate and she's going to watch don giovanni at the LA opera because she knows people in the pit and she's trying to get tickets to barbiere because she knows the guy singing don basilio 😳 this woman is way too cool fr…

[lila-lou]

✨All talk✨

Summary: Living with Ben pushes your limits. His toxic presence fuels both anger and a confusing attraction. A heated confrontation turns physical, blurring the line between desire and power, drawing you into a dangerous game you’re unsure you want to escape.

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader

Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, Language

Word Count: 7158

A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

Living under the same roof as Soldier Boy was a test of patience and tolerance. His arrival at the team apartment brought with it a cloud of toxicity, his presence permeating every corner with his disdainful remarks and abrasive attitude. From the moment he walked in, it was clear he had no filter—his words dripping with contempt, especially when directed at you. His misogynistic jabs hit their mark with precision, each comment an assault on your dignity. Yet, as much as you despised his presence, you knew confronting him would only stoke the flames of his aggression. So, until now, you endured, gritting your teeth and counting the days until his fucking departure.

You entered the kitchen, trying to ignore the disdainful gaze that followed you. Ben sat at the table, crushing pills with a grim determination.

"Nice outfit", he sneered, his voice dripping with contempt. "Didn't know we were auditioning for street corners now".

You clenched your fists, resisting the urge to lash out. "Mind your own business, Ben".

He chuckled, his eyes flicking up to meet yours. "Oh, I am. Your business is my entertainment, sweetheart".

Ignoring his taunts, you grabbed a glass from the cupboard, your movements deliberate. But his words hung heavy in the air, poisoning the atmosphere with their venom.

"Back in my time, women had some fucking espect for themselves and didn't walk around like fucking sluts".

"Times have changed, Ben".

He scoffed, a bitter smile twisting his lips. "You think anything really changed? You´re just waiting for a strong man to put you back in line".

You raised an eyebrow, incredulous at his audacity. "To put me back in line?", you scoffed, a bitter edge creeping into your voice. "I've never been in line, Ben. And I sure as hell won't start now just because you think you're some kind of authority".

Ben's laughter grated on your nerves, a harsh sound that echoed through the room. "You'll learn, sweetheart. They all do".

But you refused to back down, your resolve hardening with each passing moment. "Not this time", you muttered under your breath, a quiet vow to yourself. "Not ever".

"No wonder you're single," he mumbled. "You're a fucking pain in the ass, probably won't even shut up if there's a dick shoved down your throat".

Heat rose to your cheeks, anger boiling within you. "You're despicable, Ben", you shot back, your voice trembling with suppressed rage. "I'd rather be single for eternity than spend a minute with someone like you".

He smirked, his expression smug and self-satisfied. "Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart. But we both know you'll come crawling back, begging for a taste of the real deal".

“So you’re the real deal?”, you quipped, a hint of sarcasm in your voice. “More like a sad excuse for a man”.

His smirk faltered for a moment, replaced by a flicker of annoyance. “Watch your mouth, princess”, he warned, his tone sharp.

“Or what?”, you challenged, turning to face him fully, your gaze steady despite the tension crackling between you. “You’ll throw another tantrum like a petulant child?”.

Ben’s jaw clenched, his fists tightening at his sides. “You’re pushing it, sweetheart”, he growled, his voice low and dangerous.

A sinister smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you leaned in closer, your eyes locked with his. “What’s the matter, Ben? Can’t handle a woman who isn’t afraid to stand up to you?”.

The air escaped your lungs in a sharp gasp as Ben's sudden aggression caught you off guard. Before you could react, you found yourself pressed against the wall, his forearm crushing against your throat, cutting off your breath. His eyes bore into yours with a dangerous intensity, a silent warning of the power he held over you in that moment.

"Think you're tough, huh?", he growled. "Let's see how tough you really are".

You struggled against his grip, the pressure on your throat intensifying with each passing second. Despite the primal fear that should have gripped you, a different sensation coursed through your body, one that shocked and disturbed you to your core. Instead of trembling in terror, you felt a surge of heat pooling between your legs, a primal desire awakening within you.

You had to be insane, you thought, even as your body betrayed you. His closeness, the scent of his cologne mingling with the musk of his exertion, the feel of his strong arms pressing against your throat—it all ignited a fire within you that you couldn't extinguish.

Ben's grip loosened slightly, his brow furrowing in confusion. His gaze flickered down, and realization dawned in his eyes.

He raised an eyebrow, a mixture of surprise and amusement dancing in his features. "Well", he murmured, his voice a low rasp. "Seems like little miss tough has a dirty little secret".

The heat in your cheeks spread to every inch of your body, shame and arousal warring within you. You tried to speak, to offer some feeble protest, but the words caught in your throat, lost in the haze of desire that clouded your mind.

Ben's lips curled into a wicked grin, his grip on you loosening even further as he leaned in closer, his breath hot against your ear. "Tell me, princess", he whispered, his voice dripping with mockery. "Is this what gets you off? A little danger, a little dominance?".

You swallowed hard, unable to tear your gaze away from his piercing eyes. "Shut up", you managed to choke out, your voice barely above a whisper.

But Ben only chuckled, the sound sending shivers down your spine. "Oh, I don't think I will", he taunted, his lips grazing your earlobe. "Not when you're squirming like this. It's quite the turn-on".

With Ben's body pressed against yours, every move felt calculated, every breath laden with tension. There was nowhere to escape, no way to evade his overpowering presence.

His voice, low and husky, sent a shiver down your spine. "You know", he murmured, his lips brushing against your cheek, "I bet if I were to slide my hand under that little slutty dress of yours, I'd find you fucking drenched".

You gasped at his audacity, the heat in your cheeks burning hotter than ever. "You wouldn't dare", you hissed, your voice trembling with a mixture of arousal and defiance.

But Ben only smirked, his fingers tracing lazy circles along your jawline. "Oh, sweetheart", he whispered, his breath hot against your skin, "You have no idea".

Ben's smirk widened into a knowing grin, his eyes alight with amusement. "You're all talk, aren't you?", he taunted, his voice laced with condescension. "A tough little princess with a filthy mouth, but when it comes down to it, you're nothing but a trembling mess".

You bristled at his words, your pride stung by his mocking tone. "You don't know anything about me", you retorted, your voice sharp with defiance.

But Ben leaned in closer, his lips brushing against yours in a tantalizingly brief touch. "Oh, I think I know more than you realize", he murmured, his breath sending a shiver down your spine. "And I'm just getting started".

With a surge of adrenaline, you seized the opportunity, driving your knee upward with all the force you could muster. It connected with his crotch, and Ben's grip on you faltered as a pained grunt escaped his lips. His smirk replaced by a grimace of agony.

"You little—", he started, but his words were cut short by another wave of pain.

Breathing heavily, you pushed him away, the rush of victory coursing through your veins. "Don't underestimate me", you spat, your voice fierce with determination. "I'm not your plaything, Ben".

Ben took a deep breath, clearly struggling to keep his emotions in check. His eyes blazed with a mix of fury and something else—something almost like respect.

You took a step back, maintaining eye contact with him, and raised your middle finger in a defiant gesture.

Without waiting for a response, you turned on your heel and strode out of the apartment, your heart pounding with adrenaline. The cool evening air hit you as you stepped outside, a welcome relief from the intensity inside. You pulled out your phone and texted your friends, letting them know you were on your way for that much-needed drink.

As you walked towards the bar, a small smile played on your lips. You had stood your ground and shown Ben that you weren't someone to be trifled with.

But as you walked towards the bar, you couldn't shake the lingering sensation of arousal. Despite the confrontation, or maybe because of it, you were acutely aware of how wet you were. The throbbing heat between your legs was a stark reminder of the confusing mix of emotions Ben had stirred within you.

You tried to focus on the anticipation of seeing your friends, on the promise of laughter and drinks that awaited you. But every step you took seemed to amplify the memory of Ben's body pressed against yours, the intensity of his gaze, the rough timbre of his voice.

By the time you reached the bar, your mind was still a whirlwind of conflicting feelings. You pushed open the door, the warm, lively atmosphere inside a welcome distraction. Spotting your friends at a corner table, you took a deep breath and made your way over, determined to let the night wash away the complexities of your encounter with Ben. But as you sat down and ordered your drink, you knew it wouldn't be that easy to forget.

It was 3 in the morning by the time you stumbled back into the apartment, a pleasant buzz from the night’s drinks warming your veins. The struggle to remove your heels almost sent you toppling over, but you managed to steady yourself with a chuckle.

As you made your way to the kitchen, the soft glow of the television caught your eye. There was Ben, lounging on the couch in the living room, a brooding silhouette against the flickering screen. A part of you tensed, half-expecting him to jump up and retaliate for your earlier attack. Yet, another part of you couldn't resist the urge to provoke him just a little more.

"Still sulking over your balls?", you teased, leaning casually against the doorway, a sly smile playing on your lips.

Ben's head turned slowly, his eyes locking onto yours with a mix of surprise and something else—something darker. He didn't respond immediately, just stared at you for a long moment, as if assessing the situation.

"Had a good night?", he finally asked, his voice calm but laced with an undercurrent of tension.

You shrugged, the alcohol in your system making you bolder than usual. "Better than yours, I'm guessing".

He chuckled, a low, rumbling sound that sent a shiver down your spine. "You think you're fucking funny, don't you?".

"Just calling it like I see it", you shot back, stepping further into the room, your pulse quickening at the intensity of his gaze.

Ben leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his eyes never leaving yours. "You're playing a dangerous game, sweetheart", he warned, his voice soft but deadly serious.

You took a deep breath, feeling the intoxicating mix of fear and desire swirl within you once more. "Maybe I like danger", you replied, your voice barely more than a whisper, the challenge clear in your tone.

It was probably the booze that had those words slipping from your lips.

Ben raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as he took in your bold stance.

He chuckled, the sound low and mocking. “You wouldn’t survive five minutes with me”, he mumbled, almost to himself, but loud enough for you to hear.

You felt a thrill of defiance surge through you, pushing you to step even closer. “Is that a challenge?”, you asked, the alcohol making your voice steadier and more daring than it would have been otherwise.

Ben’s eyes darkened, his smirk widening into a grin that sent a shiver down your spine. “Oh, sweetheart”, he murmured, standing up slowly and towering over you, “it’s a promise”.

You held your ground, refusing to back down even as your heart pounded in your chest. “Prove it”, you dared, the words escaping before you could think better of it.

The whole night, even as you tried to enjoy the company of your friends and the hum of the bar around you, you couldn’t stop thinking about him. Ben’s words echoed in your mind, blending with memories of his strong arms, his intoxicating scent, and his deep, mocking voice.

You imagined what it would be like to be with him, the forbidden allure of his dominance pulling at something deep inside you. You bet he could fuck like no one else, and the thought sent a shiver of desire through you. Maybe, just maybe, you could try it once, get it out of your system, and then go back to hating him.

As you stood there, the air thick with tension, Ben could hear the rapid beat of your heart, his senses finely attuned to every subtle signal. He rose from the couch, each movement slow and deliberate, like a predator closing in on its prey.

He walked closer, the gap between you shrinking with each step, and you could see the shift in his expression as he caught the scent of your arousal. His eyes darkened, and he licked his lips, his gaze roaming over your body, taking in every detail.

“You can’t hide it”, he murmured, his voice a low rumble. “I can smell how fucking wet you are”.

Your breath hitched, the undeniable truth of his words making your pulse quicken even more. He was close enough now that you could feel the heat radiating off his body, his presence overwhelming.

“You’re practically begging for it”, he continued, his tone dripping with confidence. “All that talk, all that attitude, and here you are, fucking soaked and ready”.

His words sent a shiver down your spine, and you bit your lip, trying to steady yourself against the overwhelming tide of desire.

"I'll enjoy ruining you", Ben mumbled, his voice dark and filled with promise.

You tried to maintain your composure, but the moment his big palm settled around your hipbone, your resolve crumbled. His touch was electrifying, and you practically melted under his hand, your body instinctively leaning into his.

Ben's grin widened as he felt you soften against him. "That's it", he murmured, his thumb brushing the sensitive skin just above your hip. "I knew you had it in you".

Your breath came in shallow gasps, and you felt a rush of heat spread through your body. "Ben", you whispered, your voice trembling with a mixture of anticipation and desperation.

He leaned in, his lips grazing your ear as he whispered, "Don't worry, sweetheart. I'll take good care of you".

And with that, he drew you closer, his hand sliding down to the small of your back, pressing you firmly against him. You could feel the hardness of his body, the raw power that seemed to radiate from him, and you knew there was no turning back now. This was the moment you'd been yearning for, the forbidden thrill you'd been unable to resist.

As his lips claimed yours in a searing kiss, you surrendered to the intensity of your desire, ready to see just how far this dangerous game would take you.

His kiss was a mixture of dominance and raw desire that left you breathless. Before you could fully process what was happening, Ben’s strong arms scooped you up effortlessly, lifting you as if you weighed nothing. You instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers tangling in his hair as he carried you across the room.

Each step he took was deliberate, his grip on you firm yet almost tender. The world around you seemed to blur, your focus entirely on him and the anticipation that built with every second.

When he reached the couch, he paused, his gaze raking over you with a predatory hunger. Then, with a surprising gentleness, he laid you down, the soft cushions beneath you contrasting sharply with the intensity of the moment. He hovered above you, his hands bracing on either side of your head as he looked down, his breath coming in steady, controlled inhales.

“You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into”, he murmured, his voice low and velvety. His fingers traced a path down your arm, sending shivers through your body as he watched your reactions with keen interest.

You couldn’t help but arch slightly beneath him, the ache between your legs growing unbearable. “Then show me”, you challenged, your voice a breathless whisper.

Ben’s eyes darkened with desire, and he leaned down, capturing your lips in another demanding kiss. His hands roamed your body, exploring every curve and dip with a possessiveness that made you feel claimed, owned. His touch was both rough and tender, a perfect blend of dominance and care that left you trembling beneath him.

As his lips trailed down your neck, his teeth grazing your sensitive skin, you felt the last remnants of your resistance crumble. Ben’s hands moved with expert precision, sliding beneath your dress and inching it upward, exposing more of your skin to the cool air and his heated gaze.

Ben sat back slightly, his eyes roaming over your body with an intensity that made you feel completely exposed and vulnerable. He didn't hide his interest as he let his gaze settle between your legs, taking in the sight without a hint of shame.

"Fucking soaked", he groaned, his voice thick with desire. "Just like I said". His fingers hooked into the waistband of your panties, and with a slow, deliberate motion, he pulled them down your legs. The cool air hit your skin, contrasting sharply with the heat radiating from your core.

Ben's eyes never left yours as he discarded your panties, his expression a mix of triumph and raw hunger. "Look at you", he murmured, his voice a dark, sensual growl. "So ready, so eager".

You felt a rush of heat flood your cheeks, but you couldn't tear your eyes away from him. The way he looked at you, the way his hands and eyes claimed every inch of you, was intoxicating.

He leaned back in, his hands sliding up your thighs, spreading them wider as he settled between them. "I'm going to fucking ruin you", he whispered, his breath hot against your skin. "And you're going to love every second of it".

With that, his mouth descended, his tongue flicking out to taste you. The sensation was electrifying, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. You arched against him, your hands fisting in the cushions as he expertly worked you with his mouth and fingers, driving you closer and closer to the edge.

Ben's mouth worked expertly against you, his tongue tracing circles and flicks that sent jolts of pleasure through your entire body. The heat between your legs intensified with each movement, and you could feel the evidence of your arousal soaking his lips and beard.

He groaned against you, the vibrations adding another layer to your mounting pleasure. "So fucking sweet", he murmured between licks, his voice husky and thick with desire. "I can taste how much you want this".

His words only heightened your arousal, making you buck your hips toward him, craving more. Ben responded by gripping your thighs tighter, pulling you closer as his tongue delved deeper, exploring every inch of your sensitive folds. His beard brushed against your inner thighs, slick with your juices, adding a deliciously rough texture to the sensations overwhelming you.

The sounds he made, guttural and primal, mixed with the wet, slick noises of his mouth against you, creating an intoxicating symphony of lust. You couldn't hold back your moans any longer, your hands tangling in his hair as you urged him on.

Ben's fingers joined the fray, sliding into you, curling just right to hit that perfect spot inside you. Your back arched off the couch, a sharp cry escaping your lips as he found your rhythm, working in tandem with his mouth to push you closer to the edge.

"You taste so fucking good", he growled, his beard now completely soaked from your arousal. "And you're going to come for me, aren't you?".

The combination of his relentless tongue, skilled fingers, and the deep, commanding timbre of his voice drove you wild. You could feel the tension building, coiling tighter and tighter in your core until it was almost unbearable.

"Ben", you gasped, your voice breaking as you teetered on the edge. "I'm—".

He didn't let you finish. With a final, intense suck and a precise thrust of his fingers, he sent you over the edge. Your orgasm crashed through you, waves of pleasure radiating from your core, making you tremble and cry out his name.

Ben didn't let up, continuing to lap at you, drawing out your release until you were a quivering, breathless mess.

When he finally pulled back, his face was glistening with your juices, his eyes dark with satisfaction and a promise of more to come.

"Such a good girl", he murmured, his voice filled with a mixture of pride and lust. "But we're not done yet. Not by a long shot".

Still breathless from the intensity of your orgasm, you barely had time to recover before Ben was on you again. His wet mouth pressed against yours, the taste of your own arousal mingling with the raw hunger of his kiss. He didn’t give you a moment to hesitate, his tongue pushing roughly into your mouth, exploring and claiming you with a fervor that left you reeling.

“Taste yourself”, he growled against your lips, his voice a dark, commanding whisper. The wetness of his beard and lips brushed against your skin, a constant reminder of what he’d just done to you.

You could taste yourself on him, the intimate flavor combined with the heat of his mouth sending another wave of arousal through you. His kiss was demanding, his tongue tangling with yours in a fierce battle for dominance that he inevitably won.

The roughness of his actions only heightened your desire, making you cling to him, your hands gripping his shoulders as you kissed him back with equal fervor. His hands roamed your body, one sliding up to cup your breast, squeezing just hard enough to make you gasp into his mouth.

Grinning against your lips, Ben’s hand tightened around your breast, squeezing harder. This time the pressure was enough to make you wince, a sharp intake of breath mingling with the heat of his kiss. His grin widened, a dark satisfaction gleaming in his eyes as he watched your reaction.

“That’s it”, he murmured, his voice low and husky. “I love hearing those little sounds you make”. His fingers kneaded your flesh, alternating between rough squeezes and lighter caresses, keeping you on the edge of pleasure and pain.

You moaned against his mouth. Ben’s other hand trailed down your body, his touch leaving a burning trail in its wake. He cupped your ass, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you.

He broke the kiss, his lips moving to your neck, sucking and biting the sensitive skin there. “You’re mine tonight”, he growled, his breath hot against your ear. “Every inch of you”.

You could only nod, your body responding to his every touch, every word. His hands continued their exploration, one slipping under your dress to find the wet heat between your legs. He groaned in approval, his fingers sliding through your slick folds.

“I can’t wait to feel you around me”.

His words sent another wave of arousal crashing through you, and you arched against him, desperate for more. Ben’s fingers teased you, brushing against your clit before dipping inside once more, making you gasp.

“Ben”, you whispered, your voice trembling with need. “Please”.

His eyes met yours, dark and intense. “Please what?”, he asked, a wicked smile playing on his lips.

“Please”, you repeated. “I need you”.

His grin widened, and he leaned in to kiss you again, his fingers moving with more urgency. “You’ll get what you need, sweetheart”, he promised. "But you’re going to have to beg for it”.

You bit your lip, the intensity of his gaze making your heart race. “Please, Ben”, you said, your voice trembling. “I need you. Now”.

Ben’s mouth traced a hot path down your neck, his breath sending shivers across your skin. He grasped the neckline of your dress, pulling it down with a swift, determined motion that left your breasts exposed to his hungry gaze. Your nipples, already hardened from the intensity of his touch, stood out proudly.

“That’s not good enough”, he murmured against your skin.

Before you could respond, his mouth descended on one of your nipples, sucking hard. The sensation was electric, a mix of pleasure and pain that made you arch against him, a sharp gasp escaping your lips. His tongue swirled around the sensitive peak, drawing it deeper into his mouth before he bit down, sending another jolt of sensation through you.

You moaned loudly, your fingers tangling in his hair as you clung to him, the pleasure overwhelming. “Ben”, you breathed, your voice trembling with the intensity of your need.

He chuckled darkly against your skin, his mouth moving to lavish the same attention on your other nipple, sucking and biting with a roughness that left you breathless. His hands continued their exploration, one sliding up your thigh to push your dress higher, the other cupping your breast, squeezing and kneading with a possessive intensity.

“You want it so bad, don’t you?”, he murmured, his voice a low, seductive whisper. “I can feel how much you need it, but I want to hear you beg properly”.

You swallowed hard, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you tried to steady yourself. “Please, Ben”, you whispered, your voice trembling. “I need you. I need you to fuck me".

He pulled back slightly, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your heart race. “Not good enough”, he said again, his voice a dark command. “Beg me like you fucking mean it”.

You could see the challenge in his eyes, the demand for complete submission. Your body ached with need, the desire to please him overwhelming. “Please, Ben”, you said, louder this time, your voice filled with desperation. “I need you inside me. Please fuck me. I can’t wait any longer”.

A satisfied grin spread across his face, and he leaned down to capture your lips in a searing kiss. “Good girl”, he murmured against your mouth, his hands moving to unbuckle his belt. “Now let’s see how well you can take it”.

As Ben freed himself from his jeans, the sight of his impressive size made you mumble a breathless “Fuck”. The reality of the situation hit you with full force, and a mix of fear and excitement coursed through you. You pushed yourself up on your elbows, instinctively backing away slightly.

“No, no, no”, you stammered, your voice trembling. “I changed my mind. No thanks, fuck, no”.

Ben’s eyes darkened, but there was a glint of amusement in them as well. He reached out, his hand gently but firmly gripping your ankle to keep you from retreating further. “Oh, sweetheart”, he murmured, his voice low and velvety, “you can’t back out now. Not after all that begging”.

He moved closer, his grip on your ankle tightening slightly as he leaned over you, his presence overwhelming. “I promise”, he whispered. “I’ll take good care of you”.

You felt a shiver run down your spine, the mixture of fear and desire making your heart race. Despite your hesitation, there was a part of you that craved the intensity of what was about to happen. His hand slid up your leg, his touch both reassuring and commanding, as he positioned himself between your thighs once more.

“Trust me”, he said, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made it hard to look away. “You’ll fucking love it”.

Before you could protest further, Ben’s lips captured yours in a searing kiss, his hand moving to hold your hip in place. His other hand guided himself to your entrance, and with a slow, deliberate push, he began to enter you.

As Ben pushed inside you, a sharp cry of pain escaped your lips, only to be muffled by his kiss. The stretch was intense, every inch of him filling you beyond what you thought possible. You clung to him, your fingers digging into his shoulders as you tried to adjust to the overwhelming sensation.

“Fuck”, he groaned into your mouth, his voice thick with arousal. The tightness of your body around him seemed to drive him wild, his grip on your hip tightening as he held you steady.

Ben didn’t give you time to adjust. Instead, he thrust deeper, making you gasp against his lips. The intensity was almost too much to bear.

“All that teasing”, he growled, his voice low and dangerous. “All those smart remarks and your big mouth. This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”.

You whimpered, the mixture of pain and pleasure overwhelming. Ben’s grip on your hip tightened more, his pace unrelenting as he pushed even deeper, driving the breath from your lungs.

“You’ve been begging for this”, he continued, his tone dripping with dark amusement. “Now you’re going to take it”.

With that, Ben pushed forward hard, bottoming out inside you, and the intense sensation took your breath away. You cried out, your nails digging into his shoulders with such force that you could feel the skin break beneath your fingers. He groaned in response, the mixture of pain and pleasure driving him further.

“That’s it”, he growled, his voice a rough whisper against your ear. “Feel that? Every inch of me inside you. This is what you wanted all along”.

You could only whimper in response, the overwhelming sensation rendering you speechless.

Ben’s eyes bore into yours, a feral satisfaction gleaming in them as he reveled in how you felt around him. He didn’t give you a moment to catch your breath. Without hesitation, he pulled out until just the tip of him remained inside you, then slammed back in deep and hard, making you jolt back on the couch.

The force of his thrusts sent shockwaves through your body, each one driving you further into a state of overwhelming pleasure. Your cries filled the room, a mix of pain and ecstasy, as Ben maintained his relentless rhythm. His hands gripped your hips with bruising force, holding you in place as he took you with a raw intensity.

“You feel so fucking good”, he groaned, his voice thick with lust. “Tight and perfect around me”.

Your nails raked down his back, leaving trails of red as you clung to him, your body arching to meet his every thrust. The pleasure was almost too much to bear, your mind a haze of sensation and need.

Ben’s pace quickened, his movements becoming more urgent as he pushed both of you closer to the edge. “You like this, don’t you?”, he growled, his breath hot against your ear. “You love being fucked like this”.

“Yes”, you gasped, your voice trembling with the intensity of it all. “I love it”.

He growled in approval, his thrusts growing even harder, deeper, driving you both toward an inevitable climax.

The rhythm of his thrusts became a wild dance of dominance and submission, a fierce and primal connection that left you breathless.

“So fucking tight, so perfect. I could fuck you forever”, he groaned

The words sent a fresh wave of arousal through you, every nerve ending alive with sensation. You clung to him, your nails digging into his back as you tried to hold on, the pleasure building to an almost unbearable peak. Each thrust sent ripples of ecstasy radiating from your core, mingling pain and pleasure in a way that left you trembling.

“Ben”, you gasped, your voice breaking with the intensity of it all. “I’m so close. Please, don’t stop”.

“I won’t”, he promised, his breath hot against your ear as he drove deeper, each thrust more powerful than the last. “Come for me, sweetheart. I want to feel you”.

The intensity of his words and the relentless pace pushed you over the edge.

“That’s it”, he growled, his voice filled with satisfaction as he felt you tighten around him. “That’s my girl. Come for me”.

Your body convulsed, a tidal wave of pleasure crashing through you as you cried out his name. The world dissolved into a haze of white-hot ecstasy, every muscle tightening around him as you reached the peak of your climax.

The sound of his voice, the feel of his body driving into yours, sent you spiraling higher. The waves of your orgasm seemed endless, each one more intense than the last, until you were left trembling and breathless beneath him.

But Ben didn’t intend to stop. Even as the waves of your orgasm began to subside, he sat back, pulling himself out of you with a low groan. His hands gripped your hips, and he looked at you with an intense, commanding gaze.

“Get on top”, he ordered, his voice rough with desire. “I’m not done with you yet”.

Your legs were trembling from the intensity of your climax, but the need in his eyes spurred you into action. You moved to straddle him, your heart pounding in anticipation. But as you hovered above him, you hesitated, a flicker of fear crossing your mind. The intensity of the new angle was daunting, and you could already feel the promise of how deeply he would fill you.

Ben’s hands tightened on your hips, his eyes darkening as he sensed your hesitation. “I know you can handle it”.

Taking a deep breath, you slowly lowered yourself onto him, feeling the stretch as he filled you once more. The sensation was overwhelming, even more intense than before. As you paused to catch your breath, your legs trembling, Ben’s hands gripped your hips firmly.

“All the way princess”, he urged, his voice a mix of command and encouragement. “There’s still a few inches left".

You were already breathing heavily, the fullness almost too much to bear, but his words spurred you on. With a determined breath, you slowly sank down further, inch by inch, until you were seated completely, taking him all the way in. The depth was incredible, pushing you to your limits, and you couldn’t help but let out a shaky moan as you adjusted to the intense sensation.

“That’s it”, he groaned, his eyes locked onto yours with a look of raw desire. “You feel so fucking amazing”.

His praise sent a shiver down your spine, and you began to move, slowly at first, lifting yourself slightly before sliding back down. The friction was exquisite, every movement sending ripples of pleasure through your body. Ben’s hands guided your hips, helping you find a rhythm that made you both gasp with pleasure.

“You look so fucking beautiful like this”, he murmured, his voice rough with emotion. “Riding me, taking me so deep”.

You bit your lip, the words making your heart race even faster. The intensity of the new angle, combined with the raw desire in his eyes, drove you wild. Your pace quickened, each thrust pushing you closer to the edge.

“Ben”, you gasped, your voice trembling with the overwhelming sensation. “It’s so much… I can’t…”.

“You can”, he growled, his hands tightening on your hips, urging you to move faster.

The command in his voice sent a surge of arousal through you, and you moved with renewed urgency, your hips grinding against him as you rode him harder. The pleasure built to an unbearable peak, and you could feel yourself teetering on the brink of release.

“That’s it”, he groaned, his eyes never leaving yours. “Come for me”.

With a final, powerful thrust, the pleasure exploded within you, a wave of ecstasy that left you trembling and crying out his name.

About an hour later, the room was filled with the sounds of flesh meeting flesh, punctuated by your ragged breaths and Ben’s deep, guttural groans. Your face was shoved into the couch, your ass raised high by his strong hands as he pounded into you from behind. The relentless rhythm had turned you into a moaning mess, unable to form coherent words.

Sweat slicked both your bodies, your hair sticking to your face and neck as you gasped for breath. Every thrust sent shockwaves of sensation through your sore, overstimulated body. Your hips ached from the bruising grip of his hands, and your pussy throbbed with a mixture of pleasure and pain.

“Please, Ben”, you finally managed to gasp, your voice trembling with exhaustion and desperation. “Please, finish. I can’t take any more”.

He growled in response, his pace never faltering as he drove into you with relentless intensity. “Not until I decide”, he replied, his voice rough and commanding. “You’re going to take everything I give you”.

You whimpered, the sheer force of his thrusts making it hard to catch your breath. Despite the exhaustion, a part of you still craved more, the primal desire to be taken completely overriding your fatigue.

Your moans grew louder, each thrust pushing you closer to the edge once again, despite your exhaustion. The pleasure and pain intertwined, creating an intoxicating mix that left you trembling.

Ben’s breathing grew heavier, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he neared his own climax. “Hold on a little longer”, his voice strained with the effort of holding back

You nodded weakly, your body barely able to keep up with the intensity.

With a final, powerful thrust, Ben drove deep into you, his grip bruising as he found his release. You felt the warmth of his climax fill you, his body shuddering against yours.

For a moment, the world seemed to stand still, the only sounds the ragged breaths of both of you as you came down from the high.

Slowly, Ben eased his grip, his hands gently caressing your sore hips as he pulled out and collapsed beside you on the couch.

Ben's breath was still heavy as he reached over, grabbing your discarded panties and handing them to you. "Here, keep this from making a mess", he said, his voice rough but tinged with a teasing edge. You took them, barely able to sit up, your entire body aching and weak from the intensity of the past hour.

As you struggled to pull your panties back on, every movement felt like a Herculean effort. Your muscles protested, and you could barely keep your eyes open. Ben watched you with a satisfied smirk, his eyes gleaming with a mixture of pride and amusement.

"What's the matter?", he teased, brushing his damp hair back from his forehead. "All worn out already? I thought you said you could handle it".

You managed a tired glare, but it lacked any real heat. "I did handle it", you retorted weakly, finally managing to pull your panties into place, feeling the uncomfortable yet strangely satisfying sensation of his cum trapped against your skin. "You just didn't know when to quit".

He chuckled, reaching over to brush a strand of hair from your face. "You actually did pretty good for a human", he said, his voice softening for a moment. "But I'm not done with you yet".

Your eyes widened slightly, a mix of dread and anticipation swirling within you. "Ben, I don't think I can…".

"Relax", he chuckled. "I mean tomorrow. Rest now. You'll need your strength".

You let out a sigh of relief, your body sinking back into the couch as exhaustion finally overtook you.

"Get some sleep", he mumbled. "You earned it",

You nodded, your eyes drifting closed as you let the fatigue wash over you.

Within seconds, you fell asleep against his biceps, your exhaustion finally overtaking you. "I didn´t mean on me", he grumbled.

But as your head sank onto his lap, Ben chuckled softly, his amusement mingling with a strange, unfamiliar tenderness.

"Right now, you don't have a big mouth or that fucking attitude", he muttered to himself, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. "You're actually kinda likeable".

He shifted slightly, careful not to wake you, his fingers brushing gently over your hair.

"Well, your pussy definitely is", he added under his breath, shaking his head in disbelief.

Despite himself, he couldn't help but feel a flicker of admiration for you. You had pushed him to his limits, met his intensity head-on, and somehow, you'd both come out of it changed.

He leaned back against the couch, his eyes drifting to the ceiling as he took a deep breath. The room was quiet now, the only sounds your soft, even breaths and the faint hum of the city outside. Ben's mind raced with thoughts and emotions he wasn't entirely prepared to face.

"Shit", he murmured, running a hand through his damp hair. "What the hell am I getting myself into?".

Despite the uncertainty, there was a part of him that welcomed the change, the unexpected connection that had formed between you. As he looked down at your peaceful, sleeping form, he couldn't help but feel a sense of protectiveness, a desire to see where this newfound bond would lead.

With a sigh, he settled back, allowing himself to relax for the first time in what felt like forever.

As he closed his eyes, the last thing he felt was the warmth of your body against his, the steady rhythm of your breaths a comforting reminder that, for now, you were both right where you needed to be.

———————————

A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰

-

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[musicforastylesrestaurant]

It would be so cute if you could write about harry and yn being together since highschool and they were each others first everything and they got married very early and just their live together now yk

From Here To Eternity.

a/n: thank you to the very kind anon that requested this blurb, it was definitely a fun one to write and i’m sorry it took so long to post! fyi i’m absolutely terrible at writing smut so please don’t come at me🫶

masterlist || ask me anything <3

likes and re-blogs are very much appreciated!!

word count - 9.8k

in which, harry and you first met on your first day of secondary school, and since then your lives have always revolved around each other. she’s been there through everything, his x-factor audition, when the band first rose to fame, when they went on a hiatus and when he made it big as a solo star. they were each others first everything’s, and that made the whole ordeal just that more special.

September 4th, 2009 — the first meeting.

On the first day of secondary school, your nerves were through the roof. The fact that your hands were shaking was not helping the factor that you knew absolutely no one in this school.

You were absolutely terrified of being late to your classes and having to do the walk of shame towards your desk as everyone stared at you.

Walking down the hallway, you happened to spot a boy with brown curly hair, he was putting something away in his locker and a focused look on his face.

“Excuse me,” You gained his attention as you walked over to him, his snapping over to me. “I was wondering if you happened to know where room 102 was?”

He closed his locker behind him and stood up straighter. “— yeah I do, I’m heading there myself in a minute, what’s your name? M’Harry?”

Relief showered your body knowing that you had found someone to talk to and someone you could walk into class with. “My names (Y/N)”

“So are you new here?”he asked, gripping a hold of his backpack that was over his shoulder, it blended in with your school uniform.

You nodded your head. “—yeah we moved from Liverpool, today's my first day.”

“So what classes do you have today?” Harry asked as you tried not to bump into students in your way.

You glanced down at the timetable that was in your hands and let out a small groan. “I’ve got Math, English, Religious Studies and then Science”

Harry let out a small laugh. “— I’ve got the same, looks like we’re going to be in the same classes”

Thank god.

At least you would know someone in your classes through the day and wouldn’t have to feel like a loner.

“Maths is definitely my favourite subject,”Harry continued on smiling at the thought of his favourite subject. “What’s yours?”

“Oh I’m absolutely terrible at maths,”You shook your head before pondering an answer to his previous question. “— I think my favourite subject may be pe.”

As the two of you walked towards the class (more like you following behind him like a little bit of a lost puppy) you continued to chet about your favourite hobbies.

You found out that he was part of a music group named ‘White Eskimo’ and he had even invited you to rage along to one of their practices when you had time.

You found yourself laughing at the little jokes that he seemed to slip into the conversation and you felt a lot more at ease about the school day ahead.

By the time you both arrived at the door of the classroom, you felt your throat go dry upon seeing your Maths teacher Mr.Jones already reaching the class.

Not only had you made yourself late, you had now dragged your new friend down to your depths.

Great.

Harry tried to quietly open the door, hoping not to disturb the class but the teacher had already snapped their head over to see the two of you entering the room.

Mr.Jones raised an eyebrow at Harry. “Late on the first day back?”

Your new friend looked down at the ground slightly. “—M’sorry,Sir.”

The teacher let out a sigh before turning their attention over to you and eyeing you up carefully. “Who's your friend?”

“My names (Y/N), I’m new here and Harry helped me get here, it’s my fault we’re late.”I tried to explain to the teacher who just pushed there glasses further up the bridge of there nose.

“Well (Y/N) and Harry, go ahead and take the seats at the back of the class for me.”Mr.Jones nodded there head over to the two empty seats you were expected to occupy.

As the two of you sat down in the seats, you pushed a strand of hair behind your ear and felt your face flush a soft shade of pink.

Being late on your first day wasn’t so teething you expected to do. But they couldn’t really blame you.

You just didn’t want to make a bad first impression.

“I’m sorry about making you late.”You apologised to Harry, as you grabbed a pencil from your pencil case.

Harry waved you off with a reassuring smile. “— it’s all good.”

As the lesson progressed on you and Harry shared notes about the syllabus you were learning, helping each other with the work as much as you could without the teacher calling you out for speaking.

“Thanks for letting me sit next to you, you didn’t have to.” you muttered to Harry who was flicking through the textbook.

He smiled at you. “— honestly, it’s been my pleasure, and can’t wait to see where this friendship goes.”

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April 2nd, 2010 — Prom.

When Harry had invited you round his house on Saturday, you thought absolutely nothing of it.

Since you first started year eleven, you and Harry were quick to become best friends and would often go round each other's houses on the weekend and have a sleepover until Sunday.

When he opened the door after hearing you knock on it, you could instantly pick up on how nervous he was due to the fact his fingers were curled up into a fist.

“Hi, H!”you greeted him, leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek.

There was no doubt that over the course of your friendship that you hadn’t thought about him in another way.

You spent every school day together since you started and most weekends together as well unless you were doing something with your families.

Harry opened the door a bit more. “— hey, come on in.”

Once inside, Harry led you out to the back garden seeing as it was a warm summer's day, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

Until your eyes landed on the set up.

A picnic had been set up and a red and white chequered blanket was laid out on the greenery. A bowl of fruit in the middle with some sandwiches laid out as well.

“Wow..Harry,”you breathed out. “— what’s all this for?”

“I was thinking about Prom and how we weren’t too sure about if we should go,”he explained, sitting down on the blanket with you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “— I wanted to ask if you would be my Prom date? I wanted it to be special.”

Did you hear him right?

He wants you to be his prom date?

“Really?”was all I managed to speak, still trying to wrap my head around his question.

He nodded his head. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I can’t deny that I like you, we’re friends and going to prom together would be the first step into getting something more.”

Was this way of him saying he liked you?

Holy fucking moly.

“You like me?”

He smirked at you. “— isn’t that obvious?”

He took a sip of strawberry water from his cup. “So what do you say? Will you be my prom date?”

You flushed a shade of red making him let out a small laugh. “I would love to be your prom date!”

When Prom night finally came around, your nerves were skyrocketing.

You stood at the top of the stairs after hearing from your mum who was peering out the windows that your prom date had arrived and was eagerly awaiting for your prom dress to get revealed, so that he could like you even more.

You took in a small inhale of air before your heel clad feet started making their way down the stairs, hand holding onto the railing so that you didn’t fall and trip, and that was when you saw him.

Harry.

He was wearing a grey suit, with a white crisp shirt underneath as well as a matching grey suit vest and a black bow tie to compliment the outfit even more, his hair was styled the exact same with his unruly curls framing his face and had some black shoes on his feet.

“Wow,”Harry’s mouth gaped as he stared at you, “— you look beautiful!”

You had no idea that you would be matching colours seeing as you hadn’t even known what each other was going to wear.

This was complete coincidence.

Your dress was a light grey strapless dress with a long skirt that was layered. There was a sprinkling of light pink flowers embroidered onto the torso of the dress to add the slightest pop of colour.

Your cheeks flushed. “Thank you, you don’t look too bad yourself.”

Your mother was standing next to your father at the bottom of the stairs as well, a camera was in her hands as Harry came and stood next to you, placing a hand on your hip and bringing you in closer to him.

“The two of you look lovely.”Your mother complimented as she continued to take photos.

“Thanks mom.”You let out a small groan of embarrassment as Harry let out a small laugh.

Your father clapped Harry on the back as the two of you made your way towards the front door, he was grinning at him. “— take care of my daughter tonight, Harry.”

“I will Mr. (Y/L/N)”Harry let out a nervous chuckle.

After the two of you had said your goodbyes to your parents, Harry who had just passed his drivers test grabbed his keys out of his pocket and opened your car door for you like a true gentleman.

Once the both of you were in the seats, Harry turned to look at you with a look of fondness. “You really do look beautiful by the way.”

“And you really do look handsome.”You told him in truth, tucking a curl out of his eyes.

The drive to the venue was one filled with laughter and comfortableness when the two of you arrived at the venue, strobe lights were lining up the exterior as a red carpet was rolled out.

Throughout the entire night, you and Harry continued to dance, moving your bodies and that was when you realised just how charming and considerate Harry really was.

All in all you had a great time together.

As the night drew to a close and prom king and queen was announced, Harry placed a hand on the small of your back as the final slow dance of the evening took place.

“How would you feel if I took you on a real date sometime?”

Your heart skipped a beat and your stomach felt as if butterflies had taken home there. “— I would feel privileged.”

What a great way to end the night.

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June 17th, 2010 — the first time.

“If you're not ready to do this…''Harry panted out as you wrapped your arms around his neck from where you were laying underneath him, both of you in nothing but your knickers. “…then we don’t have to, I’m not pressuring you into doing anything.”

“I really want to do this,”you whispered, pressing a kiss to his nose. “— there’s no one else I would rather be doing this with, I trust you Harry, baby.”

After your first date, you and Harry had been on five more before he asked you to be his girlfriend and after dating for two months you finally figured out that you were both ready to take the next big step in your relationship.

Harry nodded his head and started leaving kisses down her jaw, and lower down her neck, making you squirm slightly in his grip.

He slowly pulled the waistband of your knickers down from your hips and gradually down your leg making you wish he would simply hurry up.

“God, you're making me melt over here, babe.” Harry complimented as he took sight of your bare core, glistening and all for him.

He was a virgin also, so that factor made this even more special.

“Please..please har..Harry.”you whined, head thrown back as his hand teased at your bud of nerves, he tried not to whine as well at seeing you like this.

Your first time was together.

He was getting you ready for him and that made you even more nervous.

The condom was on his length before you even got a chance to blink.

His length was bulky and there was a large vein leading up to the top of his penis, where a drop of pre cum was starting to form.

Harry laced your fingers together as he slowly entered your soaking core.

It wasn’t as painful as you had imagined but it was definitely uncomfortable.

It would take a lot of getting used to.

His eyes rolled to the back of his head at the feeling and knowing that the moisture was all because of him and no one else.

“You feel so good (Y/N).”Harry groaned as he thrusted in and out of you at a gentle pace.

You reached your hand up and pulled at his curls as moans and groans fell from both of your lips and filled his bedroom.

He kissed you with everything he had, and that was what solidified the deal for you.

You loved him.

Your legs tightened and your stomach copied.

“Let go, sweet girl,”Harry spoke softly, making a tear fall down your cheek at the pleasure you were currently facing. “— come for me, babe.”

“Let go, let go for me, sweet girl.” A wave of ecstasy rolled over your body as you came undone and felt his lips against your feverish skin.

Harry pressed a kiss to your lips. “— I love you (Y/N) I love you so much.”

Your pants made it hard to figure things out around you but you had definitely heard what he had said.

He loves you?

Harry Edward Styles really said he loved you.

You let out a small breath. “I love you Harry, I really do.”

There’s definitely a right place to say things like this and this was definitely the place.

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August 6th, 2010 — the news.

“I’ve got some news.”

You tilted your head to the side as you laid down next to Harry on the hammock in his garden, your legs entwined and your head rested on his chest.

You lifted your head up slightly. “What’s the news?”

“You know how you and mum are always saying that I’ve got a good voice?” He asked, running a hand up and down your arm.

You nodded at him as an answer, you did really think that he had a good voice, you would often hear him singing to himself getting changed in the mornings you would sleep over, you would hear him singing you to sleep at night when you were a little bit restless.

He was even part of ‘White Eskimo’ so if he was the frontman of a band then he obviously had a good voice.

“Well I think I’m going to audition for X-factor.”

You sat up completely, eyes wide as his words registered in your brain.

“You're going to audition for X-factor?”You exclaimed, “— as in the show with Louis Walsh and Dermot O Leary?”

He nodded his head. “I’ve been practising non stop, you hear me singing all the time, so it only seems like the right thing to do.”

“I’m really excited for you!” You leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his cheek out of pure affection.

“Do you have an idea about what you're going to sing?” You mused, staring at him softly.

“Yeah, I want to sing something that really showcases my voice so I’ve been thinking ‘Hey Soul Sister’.”

One of your favourite songs.

“That’s a really good song, H.” you informed him, lacing your fingers together. “— you're going to do absolutely amazing.”

He hummed. “You really think so?”

“I know so,” You assured him, the sun shining down on your skin to give it a nice sun kissed glow. “— and I’m always here if you ever want help practising.”

He laughed, throwing his head back slightly at your words, you both knew that you were a very bad singer so just the thought of you helping him out seemed funny.

“I’ll definitely consider that.”

Over the next few weeks leading up to the audition, you would hear Harry singing every chance he got.

Whether that be in the shower, in the car on the way to school, and sometimes when you stayed over you could swear that you heard him singing in his sleep.

But that only showed his dedication to impress the judges.

And that hard work definitely paid off.

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February 19th, 2013 — gaining permission.

It was a warm summer’s evening when Harry approached the front door of your childhood home.

His nerves were high as he raised his fist to knock against the wood, his mind still rehearsing everything that he was about to say to him.

After hearing someone knock against the front door, your father raised his eyebrows and went ahead towards it, opening it up and coming face to face with your boyfriend of nearly three years.

“Hello Mr. (Y/L/N)”Harry greeted the man he called a second father and offered him a grin.

Your father and Harry shook hands. “— Afternoon, Harry.”

You had absolutely no idea that Harry was going round to speak to your father tonight seeing as you were on a girls weekend with a few friends from school, and so Harry thought this would be the best time to speak to him, without you wondering where he was.

The timing was perfect really.

“I came to talk to you about something really important, if that’s alright with you.”Harry explained, his palms suddenly becoming slightly sweaty.

Your father invited him into the home and they both settled down on the sofas in the living room, Harry began speaking seeing as he couldn’t hold it off anymore.

"Mr. (Y/L/N), I know we're young, but I can't imagine my future without your daughter," Harry stated as he sat across from your dad.

"I appreciate your honesty, Harry. But marriage is a big commitment. Are you sure you're ready for that?" Your dad replied, folding his arms.

When Harry was placed as a member of One Direction, he didn’t think that his life would change drastically, he had heard stories of boy bands and their girlfriends always having a hard time, but you and Harry were beating all the odds.

The two of you were stronger than ever.

"Yes, sir," Harry answered confidently. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I love her so much and I want to spend the rest of my life making her happy."

Your dad leaned back in his chair, contemplating Harry’s words. "Well, I have to say, I'm impressed with your sincerity. It's not often you see such devotion in young people these days. Alright, I'll give you my blessing."

The singer let out a sigh of relief and a smile spread across his face. "Thank you, sir! I'll do my best to make her happy every day."

As Harry stood up to leave, your dad stopped him. "One more thing, James. Promise me that you'll take care of her. She's my little girl and I love her more than anything in this world."

"I promise, sir," Harry replied, nodding his head earnestly. "I'll always be there for her and do whatever it takes to make her happy."

As Harry left, your dad couldn't help but feel a sense of pride and joy. He knew that his daughter was in good hands with a man who loved her so deeply.

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March 1st, 2013 — the pier.

Coming to the pier was a bit of a last time for you and Harry.

It held a lot of memories for the two of you.

When you would spend the nights round his house on the weekends, you would sneak out of the house and go and spend some time at the arcades at the end of the pier, he even won you a stuffed unicorn once.

You had gone there after prom when he asked you out on a proper date to stare at the stars as they rested in the sky,

After your fifth date, Harry had brought you to the pier and asked if you wanted to be his girlfriend.

You had been on the pier when he told you that he was put in One Direction, you weren’t allowed to be at that audition because your parents said that school was more important, you were there when he told you that his life was about to change drastically.

As you and Harry walked along the pier, he held your manicured hand tightly.

“So how was your day, baby?” You quizzed him, swinging your hands back and forth slightly.

“It was good,”Harry replied, “— busy with getting things ready for the tour, but it was good overall.”

You knew how hard he and the rest of the boys were working so that they could get everything ready for the tour they were about to embark on, you were tagging along as well so that you could spend as much time with Harry as possible.

“I can imagine,”you offered him a small smile. “How’s all that going?”

“I think it’s going well, to be honest.”he squeezed your hand as you continued walking down the pier. “— we’re just working on nailing the set list and then everything should be ready to go.”

As the two of you walked, the topic of conversation shifted from work to your family and then to finally what you both wanted your future to look like.

Over the years you had learned to feel comfortable with speaking to Harry about everything and anything.

“Speaking of the future,” He spoke, making you glance over at him, your eyes locking. “— what do you see in our future?”

You had thought about an answer to this question for a while now and contemplated telling him, but now seemed like the appropriate time to say it.

“I definitely see us having a happy, loving life together,”you began to answer, breathing softly. “Maybe a house, marriage and definitely some kids, you’d be a great dad.”

Harry’s heart swelled after hearing your words. “That sounds absolutely perfect.”

The two of you gazed out at the moonlit waves crashing below the wooden slats that were holding the pier up.

Finally, you reached the end of the pier where Harry stopped and turned to face you.

"(Y/N), I know we're only young," he began, "but I love you more than anything in this world. These past three years have been the happiest of my life and I can't imagine spending my future with anyone else."

Your heart was pounding as she stared into Harry’s forest green orbs that seemed to sparkle in the moonlight.

"H, I love you too," you replied, your voice shaking slightly.

“Sweetheart, you're my best friend, actually your more than that, your my whole world, my absolute reason to wake up every morning, you’ve been by my side through all the hardships and to say you’ve made me a better man would one hundred percent be the understatement of the century.”

Your heart pounded in your chest, trying to regulate your breathing as your ears started ringing as you stared at the man you adored.

Your eyes widened as you watched Harry kneel down on one knee and pull out a small velvet box from his pocket. "(Y/N), will you marry me?"

Marriage.

Harry wanted you to be his wife.

You could barely see him through the tears that were falling from your eyes, but you could make out that he was crying as well.

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you nodded vigorously.

“Yes, yes, of course, I will!" You exclaimed, throwing your arms around Harry’s neck.

Once the two of you broke away from the hug, he slipped the ring from the box onto your finger, both hands shaking from the adrenaline currently coursing through their body.

The two of you embraced tightly, feeling each other's heartbeat as the gentle breeze swirled around you. For you and Harry, this moment felt like the beginning of forever.

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August, 2014 — I do.

You took in a deep breath as you stood at the end of the altar next to your father, your arm linked with his as your other hand held a bouquet of flowers.

When the familiar chords of one of your and Harry’s favourite songs rang out throughout the small registery office that the two of you had decided to get wed at, that was when you realised that this was really happening.

You were getting married.

“Are you ready, sweetheart?” Your father asked you, head tilted to the side.

You took in a hesitant small breath as you nodded at the words your father had just spoken. “Honestly, this is as ready as I’ll ever be.”

He nodded his head at your words before opening the doors to the side of the room, your breath hitched in your throat.

Your groom lifted his head when he heard whispers filling up the room and that was all the clarification he needed to know that you were present.

He hesitantly lifted his head and salt water instantly filled his orbs.

You looked astonishing.

It felt as if it was just the two of you in the room, your eyes remained locked on each other as you got closer and closer, the moment was pure and heartwarming.

Harry’s curls had grown out since your engagement on the pier so they were pushed back by a simple headband, so they didn’t block his view of you and he was adorning a suit of black colour, a white frilled shirt underneath as a thin silk black tie hung around his neck.

Your wedding dress was what you had always dreamed your dress would look like on your special day. It was Lacey and hung loosely to your figure in certain areas, flowers embroidered the sleeves and around your collar.

As your heel clad feet came to a stop by your soon to be husband, your father left a gentle kiss to the crown of your head, before taking a seat at the front two next to your mother as well as Harry’s parents and sister.

Your hand slipped into Harry’s and he rubbed soft circles on the back of it to reassure you that everything was going to be okay.

“You look beautiful, m’love.”Harry whispered as his own eyes filled with more tears.

The officiant glanced around at the people around you that were gathered in the small room before clearing his throat and beginning to speak.

“(Y/N) and Harry have decided to write their own vows as a declaration of there love for one another as well as there marriage,” the man began, looking down at the notes in his hands.

You and Harry locked gazes with each other and both offered each other a small smile, this was really happening.

“God, Harry I don’t even know where to begin,”you looked down at the piece of paper in your hand that was filled with your handwriting.

“— just for this day, I had to Google what the definition of a soulmate was but then I realised I didn’t have to. You were the definition. Plain and Simple. When we first met our first conversation was me asking you for directions, but over the past three years of getting to know you and fall continuously in love with you, I have come to known that you have showed me new directions of life, directions I didn’t think I would see unless I hadn’t of met you. You continue to make me proud and that’s one of the main reasons I love you.”

You glanced up at him when you had finished reading your vows and watched as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

Harry turned to look at the small gathering of people you had invited to be here for this special moment, and a wet chuckle fell from his lips. “How on earth am I supposed to beat that?”

He turned back to look at you, unfolding a piece of paper from his shit pocket and starting to read aloud. “— My sweet girl, m’love, when we first started dating, straight from the get go I had promised to cherish you from then on out, from our first meeting you instantly captured my heart, you’ve made me a better person, and for that I simply can’t thank you enough, your all I ever want and more, I love you and will continue to love you as long as my heart remains beating.”

There was definitely not a dry eye in sight when Harry had finished reading.

“(Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), do you take Harry Edward Styles to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward?”

“I do.”

“And do you Harry Edward Styles take (Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N) to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward?”

“Of course I bloody do!”

Harry’s best man, his stepfather Robin Twist steps forward from where he’s sat next to Anne, offering both of you the rings.

The ring slipped onto Harry’s finger effortlessly.

His hands worked delicately to slip yours on.

The officiant smiled adoringly. “— with the power invested in me, I now declare you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride!”

Harry didn’t waste a second in bringing his lip balmed lips down against yours, as the taste of strawberry filled your senses, the kiss was one full of tenderness and love.

It was all official.

You were now Mrs. (Y/N) Styles.

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June 18th, 2015 — the delivery.

"I'm here!"

You looked up from the hospital bed you were currently laying on to see your husband run into the room, his eyes wide as he assessed the situation.

You were laid on the hospital bed, tears falling freely down your cheeks as your mother crouched at your bed side holding your hand and soothing you.

"H..Harry…"You spoke, voice coming out dry and hoarse.

The man rushed to your side, taking a hold of your hand and pushing some of the hair that had dried around your forehead out of your face. "— it's okay sweet girl, it's all okay. I'm here now"

Your mother gulped and looked down at the two of you. "I'll wait outside, give the two of you some space"the older women turned to look at her daughter. "You've got this (Y/N)"

Got what exactly?

Let’s answer that question.

You and Harry never really got to have a proper honeymoon after your wedding, due to the fact he was touring and didn’t have enough time to change the plans when they surrounded the band and management.

So almost six months ago, the band had decided to go on a little break near Christmas time so that they could spend the new years at home with their families and so you and Harry went back to holmes chapel.

And on Christmas Eve, the two of you christened the night and an explosion of love was formed.

You got pregnant.

And now, not even near the full term of pregnancy, your waters had broken when you were on a coffee date with your mother, your nerves were heightened especially when you had four months left in your pregnancy.

Once your mother had left the room, you turned to look at your husband, swallowing roughly. "I can't do it Harry..it's too early..they're not gonna make it!"

"Don't think like that, everything's going to be fine, I promise.” and with that he pressed a kiss to your damp cheek, grabbing ahold of your hand and rubbing the back of it softly.

Suddenly, you pinched her eyes shut and let out one of the most ear piercing painful cries Harry had ever heard, his heart beating erratically against his rib cage.

He stood up. "— I'm going to go and get some help alright..i'll be back as soon as possible"

He ran out of the room his wife was in and towards the reception area, his eyes landing on nurses who were sat there talking away. "— I need some help..my wife's having our baby"

You were clutching your stomach when Harry sprinted back into the room and resumed his position next to you, the nurses coming in followed by a doctor all smiling at you in the bed.

"Hi Mrs Styles, my names Dr Armstrong and I'll be helping you deliver your baby today, to make this experience as calm as possible, I'm going to need you to lift up your legs for me so I can check how dilated you are"

"You've got this"Harry whispered, his lips pressed against the shell of your ear.

You hesitated for a few seconds due to the fact the only person that had ever looked between your legs was harry, and the thought of any other man seemed daunting, but after Harry gave you a gentle look you slowly raised your legs up so they were bent on the bed and watched with watery eyes as the doctor slipped some latex gloves on his hand before slowly placing his hands between your legs.

The doctor then pulled his hands back, Harry letting his eyes fall on the blood on the top of the gloves, the doctor muttering a few things to the nurses, who then walked over to the other side of the room and started picking up blankets and towels.

What was happening?

"Mrs Styles, Mr Styles"the doctor cleared his throat. "— this probably isn't what the two of you were expecting but this baby is coming rather fast, and when I say fast I mean very, very fast"

Harry gulped and shook his head. "But she's only five months, surely that's not right"

The doctor smiled at the soon to be father. "That is very soon yes sir, but I have delivered babies much sooner than five months, and if we do everything right and take our time everything should be fine, I assure you"

The words just made your throat go even more dry, like sandpaper upon hearing that you were ten centimetres dilated and was soon going to be having the baby which just sent a sense

of dread to vibrate throughout your body.

"I don't want to do this Harry," You cried. "I don't want to do this..I can't"

Harry stroked a hand through your hair that was sticking to your forehead. "— you can do this sweet girl, I know you can, wouldn't have put our sweet baby in you if I didn't"

You nodded your head with all the energy that you could muster up and sat up a little bit further in the bed, your tight grip on Harry’s hand only getting tighter.

"Okay Mrs Styles, give me a nice gentle push."the doctor instructed, the nurses coming over to be on standby.

The next contraction hits your body and you ground your teeth together as you push, putting all the counter pressure in your hips.

Pushing kind of felt like when you were going to the toilet, only this was much more painful.

Tears continued to slide down your cheeks, Harry’s slightly calloused hands rubbing across her own as his own eyes welled with tears seeing the girl he loved and adored in so much pain.

"That was so good Mrs Styles,"the doctor complimented. "You're doing so well, repeat what you just did for me when your next contraction occurs, okay?"

Harry kissed your temple, just as another contraction ripped through your body, making it feel as though you were on fire.

"I can see the head."

The voices were numb to your ears, seeing as you were too busy focusing on pushing, your teeth were gritted together as your head was tucked down to your chest.

"We're so close to meeting them Sweet girl, so close,"Harry encouraged, looking in the eyes of his wife whose eyes were black.

The usual colour were filled with a pain filled black.

"The next push and you should have your baby, give me a big push Mrs Styles."

You pushed, this one feeling much longer than the others, keeping a white knuckle grip on Harry’s hand.

And that's when you heard it.

A cry filled the room, a literal babies cry.

Your and Harry’s babies cry.

"Is everything okay?"Harry quizzed, not removing his hand from your sweaty grasp.

You watched as the doctor nodded his head, letting his eyes flicker from between the two. "— congratulations Mr and Mrs Styles, you have a beautiful baby boy."

A boy.

You had a son.

A beautiful baby boy who was your’s forever.

"Would you like some skin to skin contact with your son, Mrs Styles?"Dr Armstrong asked, holding the baby in his arms.

"Yes please."You answered, perhaps a bit too quickly.

The doctor walked forward and gently laid the baby against your bare chest, moving the hospital gown out of the way.

The second your sweet baby boy was placed against your chest, you couldn't help but loud out a few cries.

Sobs even.

It may have been a bit earlier than the two of you expected, but now you simply wouldn't change it for the world.

The Styles were complete.

Harry couldn't help but let a tear fall down his cheeks, not bothering to wipe it away.

This is all he had worked for, and now it was finally here he couldn't be happier.

"Do we have a name?"one of the nurses asked, smiling at the sight of the mother holding the baby.

You locked eyes with Harry. "You tell them sweet boy"

Harry swallowed and nodded his head, not letting his eyes falter from the baby boy attached to his wife's bare chest.

"August,"he spoke. "— August Harry Styles."

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July 2nd, 2015 — the announcement.

As Harry Styles sat down for his interview, his long hair cascaded down his shoulders as he sat with the rest of the boys on the James Corden Show, a striped shirt hugging his body made of different shades of blue silk, with some black skinny jeans and a pair of chelsea boots.

He greeted James with a warm smile and sat down in the middle of Niall and Louis, he couldn't help but feel a bit nervous. It had been a while since he had spoken to the press, and he knew that they would have a lot of questions for him.

The first few questions were easy enough - how was his music career going? What were his plans for the future? But then, James asked him the question he had been dreading.

A question regarding his son.

Harry couldn’t be mad at James, it was his job after all and he knew for a fact that it was bound to come up one day, James was his friends, he wasn’t alone in the interview seeing as he was surrounded by his band mates, so he didn’t really have a factor to worry about.

"Harry, there have been rumours circulating that you have a son. Can you confirm or deny these rumours?"

Harry took a deep breath and looked directly into the camera. "I can confirm that the rumours are true," he said, his voice steady.

The host raised an eyebrow. "Can you tell us more about your son? How old is he?"

"He's just a baby," Harry replied, not wanting to really give away much about him. "I don't want to get into too many details, but he's the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me."

And it was true.

Just over three weeks ago, little Auggie flew into there lives and made them just that much better than they already were.

The sleepless nights brought the two of you closer,

Nappy changes brought the two of you closer,

And baby sick made the two of you closer.

The interview continued, but Harry's mind was elsewhere. He couldn't shake the feeling that he had just revealed a major secret. What would people think of him now that they knew he was a father?

But when Harry left the studio and checked his phone, he was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support from his fans.

They sent him messages telling him how happy they were for him and how much they respected him for being honest.

In the end, Harry realised that being a dad was nothing to be ashamed of - it was something to be proud of. And with his fans by his side, he knew he could handle anything that came his way.

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25th May, 2023 — tour life.

Touring with your husband whilst he completed his last leg of tour was something you would never get over.

Especially now that you had two little munchkins touring with you, it made you think of all the different places the two of them would get to visit at such young ages.

Your little August was weeks away from turning seven and recently you had welcomed a little girl into the family, well not really recently.

A little girl named Margot.

Margot ‘gigi’ Anne Styles.

Touring was amazing, you got to spend all day surrounded by the people you adored to the end of the earths.

You were currently in Edinburgh.

And the two of you had woken up early due to your teething newborn and decided to head down to the hotel gym whilst it wasn’t busy and get in a little workout alongside your husband to try and get your body back to its pre baby shape.

Whilst you got ready and pumped some milk that Margot would be eating later, Harry had taken the kids down to the gym with him and told you to meet him there as that would be easier.

It really was.

As you walked into the gym, your eyes instantly landed on your husband Harry who was on a treadmill, already working up a sweat.

Seeing him working out always seemed to do something to you, and you have no idea why.

Maybe it was because you liked the look of the way the sweat would be rolling down his skin and making it sticky.

Or the way his hair stuck to his temple making him even look more delicious.

Almost ten years of marriage and you still got fireworks erupting your body whenever you were in his presence.

You smiled to yourself as you made your way over to him.

"Hey there good looking," You greeted him with a kiss on the cheek, making him freeze slightly before registering that it was you and smiling softly to himself.

"Hey m’love," he replied, slowing down the treadmill to join you, he leant over the handles of the machine and leaned down so that you were the same height.

"How's it going?"

"It's good. I’m knackered, but it’s good,Just trying to keep in shape for our little ones," he said, pointing to your son August, who was playing in the corner and drawing in his notebook, whilst your eight-month-old daughter Margot, who was asleep in her stroller, thumb in her mouth and head pulled to the side.

"I know what you mean. It's crazy how much our lives have changed since we got married," You answered, wiping down the machine before hopping on and starting up on the treadmill with a brisk walk.

"Yeah, it's wild to think about. But I wouldn't change a thing. We have a beautiful family and I'm so proud of everything we've accomplished," he said, glancing over at the kids, a smile involuntarily making its way onto his face.

"Me too," You agreed, adjusting my speed so that you were now in a slow jog. "Sometimes I can't believe we went from being just two kids in love to parents of two."

It really did blow your mind sometimes.

You remember the first time that you met Harry and your nerves skyrocketed. You were new to the school and knew absolutely no one, so when you and him became friends, it was like the two of you were meant to be.

But now, through all the good and the bad, the two of you had made it out on top, through all the hate from his fans, and all the hardships you now had the most perfect family, one that you would be able to cherish for the rest of your life.

"I know, right? But we make it work and we make each other better. And that's all that matters," Harry leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your cheek before hopping back into his workout mode, matching your pace on the machine.

The two of you continued to work out, talking about the things you normally would, like what dreams you had during the night and what you wanted to do the day before his tour.

“I was thinking we could take the kids to a cafe for lunch today,” You suggested, taking a break on the machine to take a sip out of your water bottle. “— I was thinking it would be something different, I don’t want the kids to get bored, y’know?”

Harry pondered the idea for a second before nodding his head. “Yeah, sounds like a good idea.”

It wasn’t long before you were all heading out for cafe.

It was a warm and sunny afternoon when you l, Harry and the kids approached the cosy little cafe in the heart of the Scottish city.

After your little gym session this morning, you and Harry had both gone back to the hotel room, had some showers and then got yourselves and the kids ready.

Harry was wearing a dark grey t-shirt with some pastel coloured designs on the front of it, blue ripped jeans hugging his legs accessorised with a pair of blue and white chequered vans, a blue cap and his iconic white bug eyed sunglasses over his face.

Harry had gotten Margot ready this morning, as you were in the shower. She was wearing a dark green romper, with a nice white bow headband pushing her curls out of her face, some knee high white socks adorning her feet.

After making sure that August was ready, his outfit consisted of a beige coloured oversized shirt, a cap on his hat so that he could match his daddy and a cap so he could match his daddy, and a pair of black shorts on his legs.

Once all of the kids were ready, it was then your time to get ready for the day. You shifted through the suitcase containing your clothes and decided on a simple outfit. It consisted of a pink oversized jumper paired with a matching pink pair of cycling shorts, some sunglasses and a pair of trainers on your feet.

It seemed like forever until you were all ready to leave the room.

As you made your way inside the cafe, you could see August's eyes light up with excitement as he eyed the pastry display case.

A worker greeted the four of you as you approached the counter, pulling your sunglasses up so that they were resting on the top of your head.

Your little boy turned to look at you with puppy dog eyes. "Mommy, can I have a chocolate croissant?"

"Sure, sweetie,” You nodded your head, adjusting your hands that were resting on the stroller handles as they were getting a bit sweaty. “— But just one, okay?"

You really didn’t want to deal with him having a stomach ache if he ate too many Pan Au Chocolates.

All the food sounded so good.

"I think I'm going to get a sandwich,” Your Husband spoke.

“What about you, baby?" Your husband spoke up, looking at the menu that was hung above your heads.

"I'll have a panini, I think,” You told him, turning to look at him and offering him a small smile. “And Margot is just going to have some pureed veggies."

You placed our order and then proceeded to sit down at a cosy table by the window, the sun beating through the windows. Little Margot comfortably nestled in her stroller beside you and Harry whilst August sat on the other side of the round table so that he was also next to both of you.

It was filled with small talk whilst you waited for your order to arrive at the table, the Scottish weather really was amazing this time of year.

"Daddy, did you know that I spelt a really big word with Mrs. Addams today?" August piped up, leaning forward in his seat eagerly.

August was coming up to seven so that meant that he would have already started school, but due to the fact you and the kids were touring the world with Harry that means he wasn’t able to go to school as much as he would have liked.

So in order for him to continue his studies, you and Harry both agreed that a teacher coming on tour with the two of you would be what’s best, and so far it’s been really good.

There’s been times where August’s kicked off about being too tired to learn but Harry being his father just learns that he inherited his stubbornness.

August was definitely a daddy’s boy through and through, in personality and appearance, he definitely had a little bit of separation anxiety when it came to Harry, but that was totally plausible due to the fact he was away for work quite a lot.

When Margot came into the world, she completed your family, she filled a void that the three of you didn’t know were missing and made your hearts just that much fuller.

Both children were spitting images of their father, you wouldn’t think that you were the one that carried them at all.

They both had his iconic brown curls (Auggie’s were a bit more longer due to the fact he had seen a photo of Harry with long hair and insisted he grow it out.) they had his green eyes that you fell in love with, and had his dimples and bunny teeth.

“Really? That's amazing!” Your husband gushed, reaching forward to fist bump his son with a proud smile on his face. “— What word did you spell?"

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!"

"Wow, that's quite a mouthful,”Harry leaned forward to press a kiss against his mini me’s forehead. “I'm proud of you, buddy."

August smiled at his fathers words before you all began to chat about something else.

As the four of you chatted and waited for your food to arrive, Margot began to fuss and squirm in her stroller.

"Looks like someone's getting hungry,” You went to stand up and go to her aid, her veggie purée that was in the baby bag under the stroller. “Let me get her a bottle."

"I can do it, love,” Harry grabbed a hold of your wrist softly, and stood himself up to approach the stroller “You stay here and eat. I'll take care of Gigi."

You smiled gratefully at your husband as he took Margot out of her stroller and sat her down on his lap as he started feeding her the purée you had made this morning in the hotel room while August and you chatted about what he wanted to do for the rest of the day.

As you finished your lunch, Harry chuckled and began to speak, "I don't think I've ever been surrounded by this much cuteness before."

That was true, your kids were the absolute cutest and the two of you weren’t biassed at all.

“And we wouldn't have it any other way." You sighed contentedly, they were your entire world, without the kids and Harry you're not sure what you would be doing right now.

With full bellies and happy hearts, you gathered your things and headed back out into the bustling city, ready to take on the rest of the day together as a family.

As you left the cafe in Edinburgh, you watched as Harry pushed Margot’s stroller, and held August’s hand so that he was close to you. You could see the fans waiting outside, and knew that you had to be careful.

As you made your way to the car, the fans started to call out your husband's name. "We love you, Harry!" they would shout.

You could feel August's grip on your hand tightening. He was scared, and you didn't blame him. You had been going out with Harry for thirteen years and still his fans didn’t cease to make you anxious. But you knew that you had to keep moving, to show that August couldn’t be scared because he would be scared if you were.

You reached the car, and Harry quickly put Margot in her car seat. August climbed into the back, and I got into the passenger seat, whilst Harry got in the driver's seat. As you drove away, you could see the fans in the rearview mirror, still calling out your husband's name.

"Mommy, why do they want to see daddy?" August asked, you could hear a slight quiver in his voice.

You offered him a gentle smile as you turned back to look at him in the backseat, his hand was holding onto his Sister’s,"Because he's a very talented singer, Auggie. A lot of people love his music."

August nodded, and you could see that he was starting to relax. You knew that it was going to be a long tour, but you were determined to keep your family safe and happy.

As Harry drove through the streets of Paris, you could feel the excitement building in the air. Harry’s husband's tour was going to be huge, and you

Knew that he was going to be amazing. But you also knew that it was going to be hard on all of you.

"Mommy, can we listen to daddy’s music?" August asked from the backseat.

"Of course, sweet boy," Harry enthusiastically reached forward, turning on the radio. Adore You came on, and I could see August's face light up.

"Your so good," August exclaimed, “— your the bestest singer in the whole wide world!” He was tapping his foot to the beat.

You and Harry both smiled, You were feeling proud of your husband and his talent. But also knew that being a pop star wasn't easy. There were always fans waiting outside, always paparazzi trying to get a photo.

You and your family arrived back at the hotel, and you quickly got Margot out of her car seat whilst Harry picked August up, although he was almost seven years old almost, he still like a cuddle.

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May 26th, 2023 — late night talking.

“Can you believe it's been almost ten years since we got married?" You asked Harry as you lifted up his hand to play with the wedding band sitting around his ring finger.

You laid in bed with Harry in Edinburgh, after his show and the two of you were absolutely knackered.

His show was incredible like it always was, he got the crowd going like always and brought a smile on not just your face and the children’s faces but every fan's face in the stadium.

He was in everybody's safe space.

You had put the kids to bed earlier and had both shared a shower together before crawling into bed and snuggling up against one another like always.

Harry chuckled and replied, "I know, it feels like yesterday. We were so young and naive back then."

You smiled up at him, shifting on your side and placing a hand on his naked torso (he liked to sleep in just his boxers), "But look at us now, we have a beautiful family and a great life."

Harry nodded his head. "Yeah, we've come a long way. I'm proud of us."

You looked at Harry, "Remember when we used to talk about having kids? We were so scared."

Harry laughed, "Yeah, we were clueless. But now we have August and Margot, and I’d like to say we're doing just fine."

Parenting was definitely hard at times, but you and Harry always worked together to make sure that everything was going smoothly at all times, you both agreed you didn’t want your kids growing up in a household where there was animosity.

You grinned,pecking a kiss to his chest, "August is growing up so fast. He's already six years old."

Where had the time gone?

Where was your itty bitty five pound baby?

"I know, it's crazy,” Harry nodded, rubbing a hand up and down your back in a soft manner. “—And Margot is already eight months old. Time really does fly."

You sighed contentedly, "I'm so grateful for you and our family. We've been through so much, but we always come out stronger."

Harry smiled lovingly at you, pressing a soft kiss to your nose, "That's what love does. It makes us stronger."

It was true.

You and Harry always came out stronger when the two of you had a little disagreement, and that’s what made your relationship worth while.

You and Harry continued talking, reminiscing on your lives, feeling grateful for their life together. You knew that you had both come a long way, but if there was one thing you were looking forward too, it was to see what the future for their family.

"Are you okay?" You asked Harry as you noticed him struggling to keep his eyes open.

Harry shook his head, "I'm just feeling a bit tired today. I didn't get much sleep last night due to Gigi teething and the routings just started to get to me, nothing that a good nights sleep can’t fix.”

Yoy looked at Harry with concern, "Why didn't you tell me? Tonight, when the baby monitor goes off, I’m going to get Margot, I don’t care if you insist I sleep, I’m going, you need to be well rested.”

Harry smiled at you once again, yawning shortly before. "Thank you. But I wanted you to get some rest too. You've been working so hard lately."

You felt touched by Harry's words.

You knew that he was always looking out for you, even when he was struggling himself.

“Let’s try and get some shut eye.” You turned to the left and switched off your lamp on the bedside table before turning back around and snuggling into your husband's chest once again.

This was definitely your favourite sleeping position. His arms made you feel safe, as if no harm could ever come to you or the kids.

“I love you.” Harry spoke, looking down at you and puckering his lips slightly.

“And I love you, darling,” You replied, pressing one last goodnight kiss to his lips. “— from here to eternity?”

“From here to eternity.”

[dizscreams]

Jack Champion Drabble! 🥳

Pairing: Jack Champion x gn!actor!reader

Summary: You and Jack are at an interview for Avatar and it’s rlly obvious how much you like each otherrr. FLUFF

A/N: Just smth i thought abt lmao it’s super random but it’s cute nonetheless! enjoy, lovelies :)

“Hi, I’m Jack Champion and I play Spider.”

“Hello, I am y/n and I play Ivy.”

You both had a bright smile on your faces as you introduced yourselves. While doing interviews could be exhausting you were glad to be with Jack, you two had gotten closer since working and basically growing up on the set of Avatar together.

“Perfect! So, y/n I’ll start with you. You were great in this film, uh what can you tell me about how you got into Avatar and the first time you remember watching it?”

You slightly nod and smile gently before answering, “Thank you! Um I guess it was like years ago now” you laugh “I think I was like 7. I used to love Avatar-“

“Used to?” Jack cuts you off with a goofy smile “you don’t love it anymore?!”

The interviewer laughs as you slightly nudge Jack from where you were sitting. “If you would let me finish! I used to love Avatar and still do, but I’d watch it every day and then I heard about auditions and I think I auditioned when I was 12 or something like that- but yeah. I just knew I wanted to be a part of this franchise.” You made eye contact with the interviewer as you spoke confidently.

Jack admired you while you talked, he didn’t understand how you could talk so perfectly off the top of your head. He didn’t understand how you could be so pretty either, he’s had a crush on you for years now but didn’t want to ruin or make anything awkward between the two of you. He liked your dynamic as it was and he didn’t think you felt the same.

“Jack?” Snapping his head in the direction of the voice, it was the interviewer. “Oh sorry, yeah?” You slightly chuckled and he looked at you with a shy smile. The interviewer kindly re-asked the question, “I was wondering about you and y/n. The two of you seem to have gotten really close, how would you describe your relationship?” If you squinted you could see the slight smirk on the interviewers face.

“Oh man, umm” he bounced his leg up and down and thought about how to answer this without anything being taken out of context by the fans or have some crazy rumor start. You smiled as you watched the gears in his head turn. He always looked so cute when he thought about what to say, but you could tell how nervous he was. You gently patted his thigh and he looked at you, you leaned in and whispered in his ear, “You don’t have to answer it, you know?”

He smiled and shook his head, telling you he was fine. He looked back at the interviewer, “I’d say I’d describe our relationship as a once in a lifetime experience. It’s not every day you meet someone who has exactly the same interests as you or you click with instantly and I think that’s how it is for us. We just get and understand each other on a level I’ve never really had with another person and I think, I think that working on this movie together really helped that. I think our relationship is something really special-” He realized he was rambling and talking with his hands and suddenly got embarrassed. “and yeah” he said with a nervous chuckle as he put his hands to his sides.

The interviewer awed and you looked at him with slightly wide eyes that held nothing but love. What Jack wasn’t aware of is that you had a crush on him as well. If you were being honest, sometimes it annoyed you at how oblivious he was.

You couldn’t help the grin that adorned your face and you felt your face get a little hot. You could tell he really meant what he said, that’s what you loved about him. He was so sweet and kind without even trying.

He noticed your smile and looked away getting nervous again, the entire interview ended up being you and Jack looking at each other than looking away with giddy smiles. Jack thought he was being subtle until he looked at the YouTube comments about a week later.

“they are so cute!”

“are they dating?? I’m genuinely confused??”

“AWW THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER”

“new ship unlocked”

He shook his head with a laugh and put his phone down on his stomach. He was lying back on his bed and he covered his face with his hands. There was no way you didn’t know now or maybe you really didn’t feel the same. He had gotten hopeful at the end of the interview when you asked him to go out for lunch but to his dismay nothing happened. What he wasn’t aware of was that you were going to ask him to be your boyfriend but chickened out.

He felt his phone vibrate, signaling he had gotten a notification. Looking down at his phone a grin took over as he read the text from you.

You sent a screenshot of the comments on the YouTube video and said “I think they know we like each other. What do you say we go out on a date?” Just as he was about to respond with a yes, you sent another text. “More than friends if that wasn’t obvious. You’re so oblivious it’s sad tbh 😬”

He laughed and decided to call you.

“You’re a jerk but yes, I’d love to.”

“Great, it’s a date! I’ll send you the info. I’ve got to go, byeee”

“Byeee!”

When you hung up you almost threw your phone as you jumped up and down. You hugged the friend you were with and told them all about it.

Jack had jumped out of his bed and ran to tell his mom.

lowkeyyyy sucks but my boy needs more fics of him! 🫶🫶🫶

tags: @beary-rambles @wekiamo @ashlesys-blog @dizzyscreams

[fleet-of-fiction]

Josh Kiszka x Female Reader

Summary: You bagged a part in a little indie movie. But your co-star is changed at the final hour, meaning you've never met him before. Josh is the director's friend, doing him a well earned favour by starring in the steamy little flick. Everything appears to be going well, until a technical problem means you're left undressed and exposed underneath your co-star. And things start to get a little real.

A/N: I wrote this little piece last year, just to satisfy a little itch I needed to scratch. It was the last piece I wrote before Josh came out a few days later. And ever since, I have written Josh as queer. However, I still love all the Josh fics I wrote before and they are still worthy of being shared. As are all fics. So please, enjoy one of my older pieces in my new space!

Warnings: All the usual smuttyness you've come to expect from me, including the usual foreplay details and full penetrative sex. Nothing too out of the ordinary.

You tightened the robe around your waist and lingered on the edge of the set. The bed looked unmade already. The light above it hanging precariously low.

And your co-star had been re-cast at the very last minute. Leaving you with a bundle of nerves in your stomach, wondering if there would even be chemistry between the two of you.

The brief introduction that morning had left you wondering if you could get through the scene. It demanded so much intimacy and tension that your resolve had fallen by the wayside the moment you shook his hand and he gave you his name, Josh.

He wasn't anything like your previous co-star. His smile was so wide and sincere it disarmed you immediately. He smiled with his eyes. Something you'd yet to encounter in any co-star you'd worked with previously. Not that there were many, you were still in the infancy of your career.

This was your first big movie. Big in the sense that it had a name attached to it now that would bring audiences in. Your newly appointed co-star was already known in his own right. But today, he was just doing an old friend a favour.

"Nervous?" He asked, appearing at your side in a matching robe, void of all his previous clothes and accessories.

He looked a little different without his earrings and beads. His hair a little more tamed, curls resting casually against his buzzed sides. Certainly, he didn't intimidate you as much.

"A little." You replied, watching the camera and mic being set up. "You?"

He smiled that wide sparkle of a grin again and looked down at his feet.

"You'd think I'd never performed in front of thousands of people before the way my heart is beating so fast right now."

His honesty warmed that space between your chest and stomach. You were strangely comforted.

"This is a little different." You pointed out, "A closed set is way more intimidating than an audience of thousands."

"It seems that way." He agreed, "Have you ever done this before?"

You were fresh out of college. Still climbing the audition ranks, setting yourself up for a knock back each time until the answer had been an unwavering yes. Just a little indie movie that had barely made the festival circuit. And certainly, there'd been no sex involved.

"This is my first time." You confessed nervously, "I spent a lot of time getting to know the previous guy, but in the end it just didn't feel right."

Josh shook his head. "Chris wasn't happy with him, either. That's why he called me. I owed him a favour from a few years ago. And, I liked the script anyway."

He was cute. A little dimple forming in his cheek as he spoke. Your nerves began to churn in your stomach at the thought of having him so close to you.

"You've known Chris a long time?" You asked, trying to keep the conversation light as the crew continued to mess with all the gear.

"Since film school." Josh replied, "We used to make short films together out in the woods or in my parents garage. He's come a long way since then."

"So have you, by all accounts." You replied, immediately regretting your choice of words.

You didn't want him to know that you'd looked him up the moment you'd been informed he was going to be working with you.

He stole a glance towards you. A look of benign surprise on his face. As if he was touched that you'd done the research.

"It would seem that you know more about me than I know about you."

You couldn't help but find that insignificant fact slightly alluring. There was no google search that would bring up anything of value about you. Your name wasn't known. You wondered if he had tried.

"Well, I'm a Vegetarian Pisces who enjoys long walks on sandy beaches and drinking wine from my birth year." You replied jovially, trying to keep your nerves in check.

"Is any of that true?" He probed further, pulling a little tighter on the belt of his robe, the veins in his hands almost popping.

"I think, maybe, it would be more prudent of us not to know too much about each other." You said, turning to face him, "I knew a shit ton about the other guy and in the end I realised there was nothing there."

He considered it for a moment. "You have to give me something, you at least have something about me."

Chris was somebody you'd been excited to work for. He was leading the way for indie movies, his work often starting with toe-curling visuals of traumatic events and then crumbling into intimate moments such as the one you were about to film in order to shock audiences and make them fall in love with the characters.

It made sense that he had had asked Josh to step in. You could see how passionate he was on stage in the video's you'd watched. The hours of scrolling you'd done the night before to get a feel of him, which clearly meant nothing now that he was stood at your side. His vibe completely different to what you'd expected.

"Ok, you can have something." You allowed, "I'm truly a Vegetarian Pisces. But I can't stand wine. And I definitely don't have any desire to walk long distances over sand."

He laughed a little. The sweetest sound. A little low uh huh that made the knot in your stomach tighten. The way he made you feel becoming more apparent as you stood there. The anticipation just about threatening to choke you.

Chris suddenly clasped his hands together, the sound drawing you from your internal dialogue.

"Ok, we're ready for you now." He announced, gesturing over to the bed. "So, I think it would be best if we have you both in missionary. The bed sheet will be hiding your lower halves. But top halves will be exposed."

You allowed your robe to fall. Revealing your body in infinite detail beneath the low light. The modesty patch between your legs shrouding the most intimate part of you, but every line and curve of you otherwise on display.

You slipped into the unmade bed. Preparing yourself. Mentally skimming over what he might look like underneath that robe. He wasn't as tall as the other guy, far less daunting for you. His slight build had caught you off guard at first, dressed in a white t-shirt and a pair of beige shorts. Not what you'd expected in the slightest.

Your eyes fell to the side as he followed suit. Letting his robe fall to the ground. A sincere and subtle gasp leaving your mouth as you gazed at his body. His modesty patch sitting snugly against his bulge, which was far more robust that you'd been able to conjur in your mind.

His chest was perfectly smooth. His stomach lined with a trail of hair reaching up from below up to his navel. The muscles at his waist creating that shape you could never look away from. Arms perfectly sculpted, like every part of him was solid and smooth. Carved from marble.

As he made his way over to you, there was a profound rush of blood to your core. You felt the ache almost immediately as he positioned himself above you. Leaning his weight on arms either side of you. Your legs wide open beneath the sheet, with very minimal contact.

"Are you both comfortable?" Chris asked, signalling over to another member of the crew, who brought a smaller camera unflinchingly close.

You nodded. Josh nodded.

"Ok, hold those positions for me just a second..."

Chris scurried off. Exchanging heated words with the rest of the crew. You couldn't make out what they were saying, but you knew it wasn't good.

"There's a technical issue." Josh sighed, "And if we move then they'll have to set up the lighting all over again."

You wrinkled your nose. "You managed to catch all that?"

"Can't see why else he would be so pissed." He surmised, daring to look down at you for the first time.

You took note of the way the muscles in his arms were flexed. His shoulders a little hunched, straining against his modesty patch not making contact with yours. You could see him start to visibly shake.

"I can't hold like this much longer." He moaned, his voice low and careful. "We might have to move, anyway."

It was in your mind to agree. There was a part of you that wanted to make a good impression, though. To not create more issues when there appeared to be enough already. Josh was so tense. So consumed with professionalism. It was endearing.

"Relax a little." You encouraged. "That can't be comfortable for you like that."

"Oh, there's nothing I would love more." He replied heartily, "But the minute I do there's nothing stopping us from...uh, bumping into each other."

"Josh." You said pointedly, "You'll be too exhausted for the scene, just let go. I don't mind..."

You could see that he was lost in thought. His eyes trailed down the centre of your chest and came to rest at your breasts. A little tremble in his lip as he allowed his body to soften against you. His shoulders dipped a little. His waist moving forward. You could feel his modesty patch rest against yours. But it wasn't unpleasant. And the look of sheer relief on his face was radiant.

"Guys I'm so sorry about this." Chris said, hurrying back over to the bed with a little walkie talkie in his hand. "I know it's meant to be a closed set but I need my tech guy and his assistant to come in. Feel free to get back into your robes and we can re-set."

"We're good." Josh replied, without any hesitation. "The last thing you need is a re-set."

There was a peculiar edge to the way Chris' face responded. Almost as if he hadn't expected it.

"Are you sure? I mean... I don't know how long this is going to take..."

"I'm sure." Josh continued, "Do what you have to do."

Chris looked towards you. "You ok down there?"

The scent of his cologne was in the air. A sexy, woody scent that was unlike anything you'd ever smelled before.

"All good here." You replied, fighting the urge not to lift your head into the crook of his neck to take in more of it.

Suddenly it was as if you were alone with him. Chris and the rest of the crew were gathered at the side, preoccupied with the faulty camera and lost in muffled conversation.

Josh was quite literally between your legs. Your bodies in full contact. His stance a little more fluid now, but he still held himself above you as a matter of politeness.

"I like that freckle." He pondered, making eyes at the little dark spot on your collar bone.

You couldn't help but giggle. "I like your scar."

You reached up and tapped your finger against his cheek. "Chicken pox?"

"I was six." He replied, "Me and my brother both got it at the same time. He's got a scar on the same side, too."

Oh god, why did he have to be so charming? You could see the way he was fighting against looking at you, trying to keep your eye contact rather than notice all the nuances of your body.

"You can't help yourself, can you?" You said, taking in the brown and hazel in his eyes. "You're a talker, aren't you?"

Crimson rose in his cheeks. "I'm sorry. It's just a bizarre situation to be in."

"Agreed." You sighed, "Although I am going to have to move a little, my hips are starting to ache."

Immediately, he lifted up. Allowing you to close your legs a little before repositioning. The contact sent ripples of heat throughout your body. The sensation of his skin against yours was so palpable, you hadn't expected it.

"You want me to stay up here or...?" He asked, lingering in the space between your thighs.

"Take the stress off your arms." You replied, inviting him to bring his weight down upon you.

He lilted down onto his forearms, taking the strain off his biceps. Bringing his face a little closer. And his bulge was pressed even further against your patch. All you could focus on was the way he felt against you. Smooth and solid. And he smelled heavenly.

"I kinda wish there weren't any camera's rolling." He confessed, "Then we could just get on with it."

You couldn't fight against the natural position of your arms. Resting at your side, it felt more comfortable to bring them to the curve of his spine. Less awkward. The movement made him hiss through clenched teeth.

"Then it would be a terrible movie that nobody would ever get to see." You muttered, trying to keep your touch feather light.

You barely noticed when Chris returned, kneeling at the side of the bed as you stared into Josh's eyes.

"Ok, we need to ditch this camera entirely. It's fucking dead." He explained, "So the plan is to keep the primary one rolling and get all the side angles done. I've sent for a replacement. So it might mean having to do all of this again after lunch. Which I can only only apologise for."

It didn't feel as if an apology was required. There was a hint of a sly grin on Josh's perfectly pouted mouth as he looked at you.

"You want us to go at it?" Josh asked, "Like, right now?"

Chris rolled his eyes, speaking with his hands as he gave a little direction.

"You're in love with this girl. It's your first time back at her place. You're a little nervous. And you've been waiting for this moment. Try to play it like that. She doesn't know you're in love with her yet. But she's in love with you, too. It's like a secret you both carry. I'm going to leave the camera running while I go and make sure the back up is running ok. I'll leave Mike to run it, he knows what he's doing. I think this could work out much better, actually."

As Chris walked out of the room, it fell silent. You could scarcely feel the presence of the guy standing in the corner, manning the camera quietly. You had no dialogue. No idea where to even begin.

A small voice broke the tension. "Uh, just to let you know we're rolling, guys."

Josh was trembling again. You could feel him shake against you. His mouth open a little as he checked in with you.

"I'm going to kiss you now, if that's ok?"

You didn't need to respond in words. It felt like permission to do whatever he wanted was silently granted. You didn't want to film a love scene with him. You wanted to fuck him, genuinely and passionately fuck him. Not as your character, but as yourself. And you'd never felt more disappointed.

Why couldn't you just be professional? Even as he leaned down and gently pressed his lips against yours you wished that you could just let him touch you without wanting it to be real.

The kiss deepened as you opened your mouth. Letting his tongue slide in, making sure the camera could see it as he turned his head. He felt like velvet. The taste of mint on his breath. Like he'd prepared for you.

In the distance, you heard a door opening.

"Oh, that's good." You heard Chris say, as he came back in carrying a bundle of wires and cords. "There's going to be soundtrack over the visual, so don't worry about verbal co-ordination. You're doing great."

You could feel yourself want to move. The bed sheet was languishing at Josh's waist, thin and light enough that your shadows could be seen beneath. You wrapped your legs around him a little, causing him to gasp into your mouth.

"Oh, shit..." He uttered, burying his face into the curve of your neck.

You felt it. The hardness. The way it grew against his modesty patch and threatened to detach it entirely.

"I'm so sorry....I'm so sorry...." He breathed, urgently recoiling his hand down to where he tried to contain it.

"Just go with it." You whispered, "I'm a grown woman, aren't I?"

You reached down and whipped it off for him. The relief etched in his brow as his cock sprang free. You knew that Chris had noticed. How could he not? But he remained silent.

You drew him into a rhythm. His cock pressed achingly hard against your patch, his girth and length writhing up against you as his body moved. The simulation only partially real.

"Is this ok?" He asked in peaked breaths, trying to keep his flushed face in shot.

"Mmm'hmmm." You replied softly, tossing your head back and arching your spine to accommodate the new sensation.

That was when you heard them talking. Chris and Mike in the corner, their heads leaned in to one another, discussing something you couldn't make out.

"Just keep going." He finally said, "We're going to dip out. The camera is on. Do whatever."

The door closed. The set fell to a level of intimacy you hadn't expected. Josh, above you, looking down as he began to pound into you.

You were hopelessly caught in the crossfire of wanting to take your own modesty patch off. To reach down and just pull it away. Biting down on your lower lip against the intrusive thoughts.

"Oh, fuck..." He stuttered, trying so hard to keep himself steady. "I can't believe this is happening..."

You felt a little moisture land on your stomach. Looking down you could see him leaking out above your patch.

"Just say it, Josh." You said breathlessly, "Just tell me to take it off."

There was a conflict there in his face as he considered it. You began to wonder what would happen if he didn't? Did it mean that he didn't want it like you did? Was his throbbing hard on just a reaction to the environment or did he really want to fuck you, too? His body was tense again, his tongue coming into your mouth a little harder as he continued to pound his erection against the little strip of fabric keeping you apart.

"Fuck it." He finally relented, "Take the fucking thing off."

The sound which escaped your lungs as he plunged into you filled the entire room. The sheet slipped off the bed. You could feel your legs being lifted, his torso leaning up. You were at his mercy.

He filled you up so completely. Stretching you. Making it sting. His beautiful little grunts intensified as he looked down at you, laid bare for him in reality as well as for the film.

"You look so fucking beautiful." He told you, uncertain if it were Josh speaking to you or if he was still in character.

It mattered little. This feeling was euphoric. The camera only serving to make the rush that little bit more erotic. You laid there and marvelled at his body as he fucked into you. Every muscle that flexed on display for you.

Or was it for you? Was it for the camera? You looked over towards it. Breaking a cardinal rule. The red light on the side flashing.

"Do you like to watch?" You asked, staring directly into the lens.

Josh stilled for a moment. "Oh, you're fucking filthy aren't you?"

"They can't use this now." You mused, pulling him down onto you again, missing the contact of him against you. "Just fuck me good, we can do a real take later."

He took his cue from you, nobody else. Even if it meant you'd be fired, you would have this. He felt too good. Each thrust was sweeter than the last. Questioning yourself on why you wanted him so bad. This wasn't like you. You weren't the type to risk everything for how good a cock felt inside you.

"You like how I feel, huh?" He asked, ask if he could hear your reverie loud and clear.

"Fuck, yes." You found yourself saying, "Oh, fuck...I'm in so much trouble..."

He managed to smile that devastating grin as he hung above, deliciously moving his hips into you a little slower. Teasing. Making it last longer.

"Don't worry." He reassured, "Your pussy feels so fucking good, there's no way I'm not fucking this again."

You were floored. Dumbfounded. "What about...Chris...the movie..."

His mouth was at your nipples. Grazing his teeth over the hard peak, licking around them until he took them between his lips and sucked.

"Don't make me say it." He said between bites, "I'll make him delete this. But not before I get a copy. You won't be out of a job, trust me..."

He was sincere and genuine before, you had no reason to doubt his sincerity now. Not while he was inside you. Telling you how good you felt, how beautiful you looked. You'd never seen anyone more engrossed in you, his focus completely on you and not on your surroundings.

"Where do you want me to cum?" He asked diligently, his tongue licking a stripe up your throat.

You could barely keep it together. Your high pitched moans coming in louder, fingers digging into his ass cheeks as he picked up the pace.

"I don't care..."

Your clit was throbbing for pressure. Instinctually, he seemed to gravitate towards it. Pressing his thumb against the swell as he continued the onslaught. The entire thing was so erotic, so unlike you.

"Are you on birth control?" He asked tentatively, leading soft and slow swirls against your clit as he watched his cock slide in and out of you.

You nodded. Looking up at how he seemed to know exactly where your mind was at.

"Oh, you're fucking getting it." He said, "All of it."

You knew he was close. The way he came down on you and pressed his entire body against you. Ready to give his all into the final thrusts. You were satisfied, but not nearly close to being done with him.

"You first." He whispered softly, gyrating his hips in a circular motion so that your clit got full sensation.

You fell apart so quickly, it was like a bolt of lightening striking from the tip of your clit and resonating out towards the rest of your beating veins. You gripped him so tight, certain he would cum soon after.

"That's so fucking hot." He told you, "I felt everything twitch, your pussy felt so tight..."

Fuck, he really was a talker. You heard him whisper obscenities as he continued. Working himself up into a frenzy.

You felt the need to requite his tenacity.

"Fucking cum inside me!" You demanded, locking your legs against his ass. "I want to feel it spill."

He wasn't expecting it. But you felt vindicated as he convulsed on top of you. Moaning heavily into your ear. The hot, warm and sticky mess he created spurting inside you. Nothing had ever felt more intense.

For a moment nothing felt real. Not the light above. Nor the camera at your side. The silence was deafening as you both tried to catch your breath.

Reeling back into reality.

"What the fuck just happened?!" You asked, "Oh my god, I am so fucking sorry. That was so unprofessional of me!"

"And me." He replied, his throat flexing as he swallowed hard. "I didn't mean for that to happen, at all. I promise."

"But it did happen." Chris said, peeking his head around the door. "Is it safe to come in?"

Josh was soft now. Pulling away from you, but leaving his cum behind. He wrapped the bed sheet around you both, making sure your modesty was kept despite what you'd both just done.

"I can't lie guys, I wasn't expecting that." He sighed, rubbing a stressed hand across his brow. "And you know I can't use 99.9% of that, because it would be classed as porn."

"I know, buddy." Josh replied mischievously, "I'm sorry, it just got really weird up here for a minute there."

Immediately, he looked over at you. "Not weird like...I wanted to do it. I wanted to do it when I met you this morning, truth be told."

Chris turned off the camera. Clearly conflicted.

"I can't lie guys, that was some of the hottest shit I've ever seen. I would love nothing more than to include it in the movie. I really would. It was...intense. The way you both looked at each other, shit you had me believing you were honestly in love."

You felt slightly smug.

"So, I'm not fired?" You asked, feeling Josh's cum against your thighs, like a memory you weren't ready to let go of.

"No, you're far from fired." Chris replied, laughing a little as he shook his head and started setting up the replacement camera. "However, you are going to have to get yourselves cleaned up and do this again. But...for pretend this time...I can't believe I'm actually saying this."

You didn't want to move. Even as Josh unashamedly tossed you a new robe, you could feel yourself wanting to die a little inside. Chris didn't even flinch as Josh got up, kissing you on the lips as he left.

"I'm so fucking embarrassed." You sighed, trying to put the robe on without Chris getting an eyeful of everything he'd already seen.

"Ah, don't be." He replied, "Josh was never a wallflower. Even in college. He liked a fucking audience, I don't know why I expected anything less when I asked him to do this."

"So... he's done this before?" You dared to ask, wrapping yourself in the soft towelling and rising from the bed.

Chris was clearly amused. "From what I saw behind the scenes, I think he might have taken his lead from you? It doesn't really matter. But for what it's worth, no. He's never done this before."

"Oh." You replied, a wave of something you had no name for blooming in your chest.

"Go and get some lunch and be ready to do this again....sort of...in an hour. Ok?" He instructed.

"Ok." You replied, padding off towards the dressing room in the direction Josh had gone in.

The End.

@caprisunsister @thewritingbeforesunrise @takenbythemadness @katuschka @its-interesting-van-kleep @lvnterninthenight @writingcold @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @edgingthedarkness @velveteencatch @lyndz2names @nina-23-45 @itsafullmoon @vikingisthenewsexy @char289 @gretavangroupie

[rvp32]

"Will we only ever be friends?"

Another random fluff fic, I wrote this out of boredom but also because I love this outfit for her, she looks perfect here. Not proofread at all, and may contain a lot of grammatical errors and maybe even plot holes. As always please let me know what you guys think and any feedback is appreciated.

You and Chaewon have been best friends since kindergarten. You grew up together in the same neighborhood, went to the same school, and did everything together. You played video games, did homework, and had sleepovers. You always thought of Chaewon as just your friend, but as you got older, you started to see her differently.

Chaewon had a passion for singing that you admired. She spent hours practicing and writing her own songs. She performed at local talent shows and even won a few. When she auditioned for the famous music company, HYBE, you were so proud of her for being accepted.

You knew that being a trainee at HYBE would be tough. Chaewon had to wake up early every morning to attend classes and rehearsals. She had to follow a strict diet and exercise regime, and she barely had any free time. But even with all of that, Chaewon remained determined and never complained.

As Chaewon got more and more successful, you started to feel a different kind of emotion towards her. You realized that you were in love with her. But you knew that telling her would only complicate things. You didn't want to hinder her career or make things awkward between you. So, you kept your feelings to yourself and continued to support her from the sidelines.

It wasn't always easy to hide your feelings, especially when Chaewon would tell you about the guys she was interested in. But you smiled and nodded, never letting on that it hurt to hear her talk about someone else.

Despite your inner turmoil, you were always there for her. You would attend all of her performances, cheering her on from the audience. You would listen to her new songs, offering feedback and encouragement. You were her rock, her confidante, her best friend.

Over the years, Chaewon had become a rising star in the music industry. She had released several albums, won multiple awards, and had a huge fan base. You were amazed by her talent and success, but you couldn't help feeling a twinge of jealousy whenever you saw her with someone else.

Chaewon never seemed to notice your true feelings, and you were content to keep it that way. You didn't want to risk losing her friendship or damaging her career. So, you continued to hide your love for her, burying it deep inside and hoping that it would eventually fade away.

But as time went on, your feelings for Chaewon only grew stronger. You found yourself thinking about her all the time, wondering what it would be like to be more than just friends. You knew that you couldn't keep pretending forever, but you didn't know how to tell her the truth.

And so, you remained in limbo, stuck between your love for Chaewon and your desire to see her succeed. You knew that eventually, you would have to make a choice. But for now, you simply held onto the hope that someday, somehow, things would work out in your favor.

Despite your best efforts to hide your true feelings, Chaewon had started to notice something was different about you. You were more hesitant around her, and sometimes you seemed lost in thought. But she had no idea that you were in love with her.

One day, Chaewon invited you over to her apartment to listen to some of her new songs. As you sat on her couch, listening to her sing, you couldn't help but feel a surge of emotion. You wanted to tell her how you felt, but you were too scared.

Finally, Chaewon turned to you and said, "Why are you so dense? Can't you see that I've been dropping hints for years?"

You looked at her, shocked. "What hints?"

Chaewon rolled her eyes. "I've been flirting with you, idiot. I've been waiting for you to make a move, but you never did. I thought you weren't interested."

You felt a wave of regret wash over you. You had missed all of Chaewon's signals because you were too focused on hiding your own feelings. Now, it seemed like it was too late.

"I'm sorry," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't realize."

Chaewon sighed. "Look, it's okay. I just wish you had been honest with me. I could have saved us both a lot of time."

You nodded, feeling ashamed. You knew that you had let your fear hold you back, and now you were paying the price.

Chaewon looked at you, her expression softening. "But that doesn't mean we can't be together. I've always had feelings for you, too. I was just too scared to admit it."

Your heart leapt at her words. "Really?"

Chaewon nodded, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "Really. So, what do you say? Are you ready to take a chance on us?"

You grinned, feeling a weight lifted off your shoulders. "Yes, I am."

As Chaewon's lips met yours, you felt a surge of passion that had been building up inside of you for years. You kissed her back fiercely, your arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer to you.

The kiss was intense, filled with all of the pent-up desire and longing that had been building between you for so long. You could feel Chaewon's hands tangle in your hair, pulling you closer to her as she deepened the kiss.

In that moment, nothing else mattered but the two of you. You were lost in each other, caught up in a whirlwind of emotion that had been brewing beneath the surface for years.

When you finally broke the kiss, you were both breathless and flushed. Chaewon looked at you, her eyes shining with a newfound intensity.

"I've waited so long for this," she said, her voice low and husky.

You smiled, feeling a sense of possessiveness wash over you. You knew that Chaewon was yours now, and you would do anything to keep her by your side.

"I won't ever let you go," you said, your voice firm.

Chaewon's eyes widened, a look of surprise crossing her face. But then she smiled, leaning in to kiss you once again.

"I don't want you to," she murmured against your lips.

And so, you and Chaewon began a passionate, intense love affair that consumed your every thought and action. You were both possessive of each other, never wanting to be apart for even a moment.

********

It wasn't always easy, navigating the challenges that came with being in such a public and high-pressure industry. But you and Chaewon were in it together, supporting each other every step of the way.

As the months turned into years, your love for each other only grew stronger. You knew that Chaewon was the only person who could ever truly understand you, the only one who could calm your fears and make you feel complete.

And as you looked into her eyes, you knew that you would do anything to protect her and keep her by your side. Because in a world that was often chaotic and uncertain, Chaewon was the one constant that you could always count on.

Despite the intense love and passion that you shared with Chaewon, your relationship was not without its challenges. As your careers continued to thrive, the pressure and scrutiny from the public and media only increased.

You found yourselves constantly hounded by paparazzi, and rumors about your relationship were rampant. There were times when you felt like you couldn't even go out in public without being harassed or scrutinized.

As the pressure mounted, cracks began to appear in your relationship. You started to argue more frequently, and there were times when Chaewon seemed distant and unresponsive.

You tried to talk to her about it, but she always seemed to brush it off. "It's just the stress getting to me," she would say. "Don't worry about it."

But you couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. And then, one day, Chaewon dropped a bombshell on you.

"I think we need to take a break," she said, her voice soft.

You felt like the wind had been knocked out of you. "What? Why?"

Chaewon sighed, looking away. "I just need some space, okay? I can't handle all of this pressure and stress. It's too much."

You felt your heart breaking in your chest. You knew that Chaewon was struggling, but you didn't want to lose her. You loved her too much.

"We can work through this together," you said, your voice pleading.

Chaewon shook her head. "I don't know, I just need some time to figure things out."

And with that, she left, leaving you alone and heartbroken.

For weeks, you tried to give Chaewon space, but it felt like an eternity. You missed her every moment of every day, and you couldn't bear the thought of losing her.

Finally, you decided to take matters into your own hands. You showed up at her apartment, determined to talk things out.

But when you arrived, you found Chaewon with another man. They were laughing and talking, and Chaewon seemed completely at ease.

You felt a surge of anger and jealousy that you couldn't control. How could she move on so quickly?

"Who is this?" you demanded, your voice tight.

Chaewon looked up, surprised to see you there. "Y/N, what are you doing here?"

You ignored her question, instead turning to the man. "Who are you?"

The man looked uncomfortable. "I'm just a friend. Chaewon and I were hanging out."

You didn't believe him. You could feel the possessive urge rising inside of you, the need to protect what was yours.

"I think it's time for you to leave," you said, your voice cold.

The man hesitated, but Chaewon spoke up. "It's okay, he's leaving. Y/N, can we talk?"

You nodded, but the anger inside of you was still simmering. How could she do this to you?

As you sat down to talk with Chaewon, the tension between you was palpable. You tried to keep your emotions in check, but it was hard. You felt like your heart had been ripped out of your chest.

Finally, Chaewon spoke. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I didn't mean for things to end up like this. But I can't keep living like this. The pressure, the stress, it's too much. I need to take a step back and figure out what I want."

You felt tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. "What do you want?"

Chaewon looked away. "I don't know. But I do know that I can't keep pretending like everything is okay. 

You felt a deep sadness and pain settle in your chest. You had never imagined that things would end up like this. You had always thought that you and Chaewon were meant to be together forever.

But now, it seemed like everything was falling apart. The love and passion that had once burned so brightly between you had faded, replaced by uncertainty and doubt.

"I just wish things could go back to the way they were," you said, your voice cracking with emotion.

Chaewon reached out and took your hand. "I know, Y/N. But we can't force things to be the way they used to be. Sometimes, we have to let go and trust that things will work out in the end."

You didn't want to let go. You couldn't imagine your life without Chaewon in it. But you knew that she was right. You couldn't force her to stay with you if she didn't want to.

The days and weeks that followed were some of the hardest of your life. You tried to keep busy, throwing yourself into your work and your hobbies. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing.

You missed Chaewon more than anything. You missed the way she laughed, the way she looked at you with those big brown eyes, the way she made you feel like you were the only person in the world that mattered.

But as time went on, you started to come to terms with the fact that things might never be the same between you and Chaewon. You knew that you had to move on, even if it felt like an impossible task.

And so, you started to go out and meet new people. You went on dates, but none of them felt right. None of them made you feel the way that Chaewon had made you feel.

As the months passed, you slowly started to heal. The pain and sadness that had once consumed you began to fade, replaced by a sense of acceptance and understanding.

But even though you had moved on, there was always a part of you that would love Chaewon. A part of you that would always wonder what could have been, if things had turned out differently.

And so, you went on with your life, never forgetting the love and passion that you had shared with Chaewon. Even though you knew that it was over, you couldn't help but wonder if, somewhere out there, Chaewon was thinking of you too.

Despite the time that had passed, Chaewon still thought about Y/N constantly. She tried to move on, going on dates and even starting a new relationship, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing.

It wasn't until one day, when she ran into Y/N unexpectedly, that she realized what that missing piece was. Seeing him again brought back a flood of memories and emotions that she had tried so hard to forget.

"Y/N, wait!" she called out, running after him.

He turned around, surprised to see her. "Chaewon? What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you," she said, her voice urgent.

Y/N hesitated, but eventually agreed to sit down and talk with her.

"I know that I hurt you when I left," Chaewon began, her eyes filling with tears. "But I've been so miserable without you. I thought that I could move on and find someone else, but no one compares to you. I miss you so much, Y/N."

Y/N listened, his heart breaking at the sight of Chaewon's tears. He had never stopped loving her, but he had tried to move on, thinking that it was what was best for both of them.

"I can't just go back to the way things were," he said, his voice filled with sadness. "I don't want to risk hurting you again."

"But I need you, Y/N," Chaewon pleaded. "I can't live without you. I know that I made a mistake, but please, can't we try again?"

Y/N hesitated, unsure of what to do. He still loved Chaewon, but he couldn't forget the pain and sadness that he had felt when she had left him.

"I need some time to think," he said finally, standing up from the bench. "I'm sorry, Chaewon."

Chaewon watched as Y/N walked away, her heart aching with sadness and regret. She knew that she had hurt him deeply, and she didn't know if she could ever make it right.

But she was willing to try. She was willing to do whatever it took to win back Y/N's love and trust, even if it meant facing the pain and sadness that she had caused him.

And so, she waited, hoping and praying that Y/N would give her another chance.

Days turned into weeks, and Chaewon heard nothing from Y/N. She tried calling and texting him, but he didn't answer. She started to feel like she had lost him forever, and the thought of that made her heart ache.

One day, she was sitting in a coffee shop, lost in thought, when she saw Y/N walk in. Her heart leapt in her chest, and she stood up, hoping to talk to him.

But as he approached her, she could see the anger and hurt in his eyes. "How could you do this to me, Chaewon?" he said, his voice laced with anger.

Chaewon felt her own tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I never meant to hurt you."

"You left me without a word," Y/N said, his voice shaking with emotion. "You didn't even give me a chance to understand. And now you expect me to just forgive you?"

"I know that I messed up," Chaewon said, tears streaming down her face. "But please, Y/N, I need you. I love you so much, and I can't live without you."

Y/N looked at her, his anger slowly dissipating. He still loved her, but he couldn't forget the pain that she had caused him. "I need time," he said, his voice softer now. "I can't just forget everything that's happened."

Chaewon nodded, tears still streaming down her face. "I understand," she said. "I'll wait for you, Y/N. I'll do whatever it takes to make things right between us."

And so, Chaewon waited, hoping and praying that Y/N would find it in his heart to forgive her. She knew that it wouldn't be easy, but she was willing to do whatever it took to make things right.

Days turned into weeks, and Chaewon heard nothing from Y/N. She started to feel like he would never forgive her, and the thought of that made her heart ache even more.

One day, she received a letter in the mail from Y/N. As she read it, tears streamed down her face. In the letter, Y/N told her that he still loved her, but that he needed time to heal. He said that he was willing to give their relationship another chance, but that they needed to start over and rebuild the trust that had been broken.

Chaewon cried tears of joy as she read the letter. She knew that it wouldn't be easy, but she was willing to do whatever it took to make things right between them.

And so, they began the long and difficult journey of rebuilding their relationship. There were times when it was painful and sad, but they never gave up. They talked and listened to each other, and slowly but surely, they started to trust each other again.

Years went by, and Y/N had become a successful businessman. He had worked tirelessly to build his company, and now it was one of the most respected businesses in the country.

One day, Y/N went to visit Chaewon. She was surprised to see how successful he had become, but also proud of him. As they talked, Y/N took her hand and looked into her eyes.

"Chaewon, I know I've been distant lately," he said. "But there's something I need to ask you."

Chaewon's heart started to race. She had been waiting for this moment for years. "What is it, Y/N?" she asked.

Y/N took a deep breath. "Chaewon, I love you. I've always loved you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

Chaewon's eyes widened in surprise and joy. She couldn't believe that Y/N was asking her to marry him after all these years. "Yes, Y/N, I will," she said, tears streaming down her face.

Y/N pulled her into his arms, and they hugged each other tightly. Chaewon could feel his love and passion for her, and it filled her with happiness.

But as they broke the hug, Chaewon couldn't help but ask him, "Why did you wait so long, Y/N?"

Y/N looked at her with a determined expression. "I needed to become someone who can protect you," he said. "I needed to be successful, so that I could give you the life you deserve. And now, I can finally do that."

Chaewon looked at him with love and admiration. She knew that Y/N had always been the one for her, and she was grateful that he had never given up on her.

As they started to plan their wedding, Chaewon couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness and regret. She knew that she had caused Y/N so much pain and hurt over the years, and she wished that she had realized her feelings for him sooner.

But as they stood together, holding each other tightly, Chaewon knew that she had finally found her true love. And she was willing to do whatever it took to make sure that they would never be apart again.

As the day of their wedding arrived, Chaewon could hardly contain her excitement. She stood at the altar, wearing a beautiful white gown, and waited for Y/N to arrive.

As he entered the church, Chaewon's heart skipped a beat. Y/N looked handsome and confident in his suit, and he was beaming with happiness.

As they exchanged their vows, Chaewon felt overwhelmed with emotion. She looked into Y/N's eyes and saw nothing but love and devotion. She knew that she had made the right choice in waiting for him.

As they exchanged their rings and kissed, the whole church erupted in applause. Chaewon felt like she was on top of the world, and she knew that Y/N felt the same.

As they left the church and drove away in their car, Chaewon couldn't stop smiling. She felt like the luckiest woman in the world, and she knew that Y/N felt the same way.

Years went by, and Chaewon and Y/N continued to build their life together. They faced challenges and difficulties, but they never gave up on each other. They had a love that was strong and true, and it carried them through even the toughest times.

And as they grew old together, they knew that they had made the right choice in waiting for each other. They had found their soulmate, and they were grateful every day for the love and passion that they shared.

[milton-dammers]

[The Frighteners: Special Agent Dammers]

Peter Jackson:

Jeff Combs was someone who I had known from the Re-Animator movies. I'd never met him, but I was a big Re-Animator fan. Still am. You know, these films are about 10 years old, and I hadn't seen him.

Doing any movies in recent times, and I wondered, you know, "Where's the Re-Animator guy now?" He'd be someone who was interesting, and I mentioned his name to Victoria Burrows. And she tracked him down and asked him to come in to audition for us.

I remember the first time that Jeff walked into the audition room, he ran up to me and he shook my hand, and he says, his first words were: "Do you know you and I are both in the Fangoria Hall of Fame?"

Jeffrey Combs:

This is very rare. He met me before I auditioned. He wanted to just meet me and say, "This is sort of what I'm looking for. Now go away and come back in 10 minutes and we'll do it."

(1/8)

[aemiron-main]

Hi! Since you've seen the play a few times, would you mind answering a quick question? Does the Hawkins Library make any kind of appearance or otherwise get mentioned in the play?

Between its clock tower which chimes like Vecna's grandfather clock as the four gates converge at its location, and the fact it's where Will was taken to get slugged, the library is clearly a place of significance for Vecna -- but as far as I've been able to gather, the play doesn't seem to offer any explanation as to why.

Does The Hawkins Library Appear In TFS?

HELLO!! <3 Great question- sadly, the play does NOT touch on the library at all. It’s honestly a little weird that it’s literally never brought up whatsoever!

Which, I think it’s extra weird that the library never got brought up considering how the ST library clock tower parallels the clock tower in Back To The Future. Especially since in TFS, Henry is always running late, much like Marty McFly, and his code name was George during the auditions (much like George McFly), and then there’s also the changing newspapers about George McFly that change based on changes to the timeline, versus a.) the Henry vs Edward papers about the Creel murders in-show and b.) the weird TFS newspapers about the Creel murders that are completely different from the in-show newspapers about the Creel murders.

There’s also the whole thing re: “you have to be your dad” in TFS vs Marty McFly almost accidentally becoming his own father/erasing himself from existence.

Which, the newspaper thing is especially interesting re: the missing library considering that the newspapers were down in the library basement in s4 (well, specifically, the weekly watcher was/thats where we get the scene of robin grabbing the weekly watcher to look at) vs will being in the UD library’s basement in S1.

It also struck me as weird that there’s so many other things/parts of Hawkins that are mentioned on the posters in the theatre and that are relevant in-show (such as the first Snow Ball), but don’t even get a single throwaway line in the play. Even though there’s other locations (such as Henderson Liquors) that have the entire building on stage, both interior and exterior/Henry walks into it- not to mention the giant USS Eldridhe ship on stage. Point is, if they wanted to show us a location, whether interior or exterior, they would, so it’s a pointed choice for them Not to.

Which, this whole location weirdness is extra weird when we consider what I talked about in this post re: almost every location in TFS also being Hawkins High for some reason.

However, Will’s scenes underneath the library in S1 definitely have cave vibes IMO, and I think that’s definitely going to tie into some Henry parallels re: the cave that Henry was in when he was in Nevada/when he contracted the shadow.

And like I’ve talked about on here before, the clock also never shows up in TFS, even though we hear it, we never see it, despite the fact that there’s a whole scene in the Creel foyer, it’s a.) conveniently dark and b.) the clock just. Isn’t there, so there’s smthn rattling about that vs the library clock also not showing up in TFS and the parallels between the Creel clock and the library clock in S4.

I also wonder if the library’s significance to Vecna is going to tie into the whole Brenner-As-Vecna/Beenner having merged himself with Henry or Edward thing, and if the library was significant to Brenner because a.) we do get him tied to the library in S1 when Hopper reads those articles about him in the library and b.) TFS straight up had Vecna’s shadow pop up behind Brenner, and IMO, the Brenner-Vecna connection just gets stronger every day.

Anyway! I hope this answers your question/helps! :DD Thanks for the ask! <333

[babovens]

MP100 Theatre Kid AU

Welcome to the AU that takes all my theatre experience and shoves it into the mp100 cast members (pun intended) because Teru is the definition of that theatre kid and I have thoughts.

This is Teru and Shigeo’s character sheets, but I’ve got ideas for Reigen, Ritsu, Shou (definitely a tech kid), Serizawa, the BIC (stage crew), the telepathy club, and even Claw. (And maybe Mogami?)

Teruki “Teru” Hanazawa

Background:

He grew up being ignored by his parents and classmates. Nothing he did got their attention, no matter how big or small. Good grades were expected and getting in trouble got him shunned even more.

During music class in elementary, his music teacher, Koyama-sensei, announced their class was doing a short musical for the annual cultural festival and it would have some solos.

Teruki wondered if that would get him some attention, even a small amount.

He wasn’t expecting his audition to get a standing ovation.

That applause was the birth of his performing obsession (he was finally being seen).

He was quickly taken under Koyama’s wing who introduced him to the theatre troupe he was a part of: Seasoning Stages run by Touichirou Suzuki.

Teruki auditioned for the troupe and was immediately praised by Touichirou, saying that he had a gift. That he was special.

No one had ever said he was special before.

He was accepted into the troupe on the spot (because a certain Shou Suzuki was sick of the troupe and the type of people in it).

Shortly after, Touichirou signed off on his equity card at 13, and he decided to make his stage name just “Teru”. It was still him, but it was different. New.

He’s followed all of Touichirou’s advice of keeping your friends close but your competition even closer.

That way, when the time came for auditions, he could hit them where it hurt (intimidate the newbies and psych out the upperclassmen).

As far as he was concerned, he had made it. He was working professionally, he had friends (not really but don’t tell him that), and he was on his way to even better opportunities (Broadway?). What could possibly go wrong?

A certain boy with a bowl cut steals the lead from right under his nose that’s what.

Character Traits:

That Theatre Kid™

President of Black Vinegar’s Drama Club.

Tenor high-belt for days.

Very good relative pitch, but not perfect pitch.

Corrects those who spell “theatre” with an “er” instead of an “re”.

Sings/hums along during professional productions when in the audience.

Upset if he’s not the last one featured during bows.

Will blow a gasket if you say “the m word” backstage (Tome does this just to piss him off).

Gives “tips” to other actors (“Not to start drama or anything, but Inukawa, you’ve been doing that kick on 5 and 6 instead of 7 and 8. Yeah, it looks really bad.”

“Do you even know what a triple pirouette is?”

*Checks phone for the 1000th time for the cast list*

Specialty: Mega-Musicals/Pop (New Style)

Shigeo “Mob” Kageyama

Background:

Loved to sing Ritsu to sleep when they were little.

Discovered he had perfect pitch during music class as a first-year elementary student.

He didn’t mind others asking him to sing, but he was more focused on his singing getting Tsubomi’s attention.

Ritsu mentioned interest in the school musical, and so Shigeo took to the stage, hoping that would pique Tsubomi’s interest.

However, he quickly learned that the other kids in the show were not very welcoming to new kids. Especially new kids that got a lead on the first try.

They couldn’t target him because of the teachers favoritism towards Shigeo, so they targeted Ritsu (who got in the chorus) instead.

The kids struck during the final performance, but it went further than they anticipated.

What was supposed to be humiliation via bag of flour dumped on Ritsu turned into a loose stage light jostled one too many times falling.

They were lucky it hit his leg.

Shigeo’s normal performance nerves turned into full on stage fright after that.

Shigeo doesn’t do solos anymore.

He still participates in shows, but feels out of place, even in the ensemble.

When asked why he still does theatre despite his apparent disinterest, he simply replies, “because I don’t know what else to do.”

Music is all he’s ever known, and he isn’t sure what else he’s good at. He doesn’t know what else there is for him.

Meeting a certain arrogant blond arsehole, that’s what’s there for him.

Character Traits:

The Quiet Kid™

Sometimes comes off as a know-it-all due to his musical talent, but he truly just wants to help the performance be the best it can. (“Oh, no you’ve been singing the fifth in the chord a little flat. It’s okay though. That’s a really high note and it’s hard to sing.”)

Music is memorized by the first rehearsal.

Is always cast in the chorus (the “mob”) because of his stage fright.

Doesn’t have a voice type label because the kid has range. More often than not though, he’s in the baritone section, but has a bright tone. He sings in the section that’s the weakest.

Very calming to be around during rehearsals.

Secretly wants to be stage crew (BIC members run that) but doesn’t have the strength, and the constant running around can be overwhelming.

The only person who has heard him at his full potential is Ritsu and Reigen I’ll get to him later.

Specialty: Excels in all genres EXCEPT singer-songwriter/poetic: The most vulnerable genre of singing. It’s hard to be yourself when you don’t even know your “self”.

[discluded]

Something that I have always been curious is the fact that mile doesn't like or isn't a touchy person yet from the beginning he was fine with apos affection like compared to now apo was a cat giving him hugs, head butting his shoulder when shy, putting his feet on his legs and mile just let it happen. I wonder if it's because they had to play a couple he let himself get use to apos affection so its easier doing intimate scenes or he just genuinely felt comfortable around apo probably both lol.

nasdlkfjlas;kfjd as I was just very publicly discussing with @ohyesididnotjustdothat, Mile initiated the excessive levels amounts of physical contact by shoving his tongue down Apo's throat in the first audition 😂😂😂 Mile really said: "if I only get one shot at this, Imma take it"

But it seems like a good time for us to re-enjoy some of their old intimacy workshop footage 💖

As I said in my meta about their chemistry, the trust they have between them was fought for and earned together. Many actor pairings can have an intense level of chemistry (well, this intense is rare still), but what they worked on is the trust element for how they fit together in the physical aspect of their work. Even if that is sometimes trusting your partner when they do something a little unexpected within a scene *cough* "footsie" *cough*

As for their tendency to be extra toochy tooch tooch within the context of their personal relationship and why... well. I wouldn't analyze that too much. Physical contact is comforting, and humans really need physical contact. Actually one of the greatest risks for seniors in western societies is how often they don't get enough physical contact.

If you enjoy it, just enjoy them being cute. :)

also please enjoy this cute edit @soft-husbands of them holding hands today.

[hermitarchive]

I'm considering auditioning for THA... but I've never done voice acting before. Does my skill level matter?

Additionally, is there a wide range of role sizes?

Hi! A good number of our current cast had little to no voice acting experience before joining the project, so it's perfectly fine to come in with none! We record in a table read style, so you'll have as much or as little guidance as the vocal and sound directors feel you need in the moment. Plus, we're a volunteer fan project mostly here to have fun, so we're only as serious as we have to be!

You can hear what the project sounds like from the episodes we already have out!

Re: role sizes. We cast the initial chunk of roles last year, based on the approximate half of FTA that was out at the time. All the rest of the roles are fairly small, because they're characters who only appeared in the second half of FTA- I think the biggest is probably Martyn? Maybe Jimmy? It's mostly individual statements or individual statements and some supplementary appearances.

Thanks so much for your interest!!! We encourage everyone to audition, no matter what their background or voice is like. The worst that can happen is you don't get a callback, and the best is hey, you get cast!

Good luck and have a wonderful weekend!

[lyledebeast]

Pride Month Movie 16: Billy Elliot

Oh, what to say about Stephen Daldry's 2000 domestic drama. This is the problem with writing about your favorite movie. Every rewatch overwhelms you with everything you love about it at once and makes it mo, re difficult to write about any particular thing.

Since this rewatch is for a pride month marathon and today is Fathers' Day, I'll focus on the intersection of queerness and father-son relationships.

Over the course of the film Billy is outed numerous times and in different ways to his father as a "balley" dancer, as the characters all say in their amazing northern English accents. Jackie tells Billy to stop, and Billy does not do that, and eventually Jackie realizes that balley isn't something Billy does but something he is, and now this isn't just about dancing anymore, is it? This use of ballet as a stand in for queerness could have been a problem had it not been for Billy's best friend Michael most definitely being part of the LGBTQ+ acronym, possibly representing several letters therein. While Billy is trying to win his father over with the argument that balley dancers are "as fit as athletes," Michael wants to know what all the bother is about if Billy doesn't even get to wear a tutu.

Masculinity is a spectrum, and Jackie and Michael occupy the opposite ends of it, but Billy's performance in Swan Lake as an adult brings them together. Tony, Billy's brother, is also there, and he is the character I have most recently become interested in. Unlike Billy, he is following in his father's footsteps, and look where they've led him. His family is in such hardship they have to break up his dead mother's piano for firewood, and he is thrown in jail for standing up for himself and his fellow miners. No wonder he's so angry at Jackie. Billy also brings them together after Jackie crosses the picket line to earn money for him to go to an audition in London, but Tony talks him out of it, insisting they can find the money another way.

What's a better theme for pride month than the healing power of acceptance?

[arigatonamuse]

another week, another A3! re-read notes post

this time it's

Act 2 - A SUMMER of Overcomings! (pt1)

(warning: there's some Tenma salt, i'm sorry, it took him a while to grow on me and this re-read reminded me why)

Chapter 1

i am once again thinking about the A3! Timeline (someone stop me please)

Sakuya’s toast makes me so emotional

eheheheh Sakyo’s survey 

Tsuzuru: “who did you scout?” Izumi, knowing full well that Tsuzuru’s annoyed by Kazunari: “teehee it’s a surprise!”

ksdjbvhdfvf i would love to see Tetsuro on stage

also smh Tsuzuru there are characters who don’t talk in stage, not everyone has to have lines (for example: Kattrin in Brecht’s Mother Courage and Her Children)

Chapter 2

heheh Kazu and Yuki time

ah Kazu beloved… you can afford to be a lil less shallow with Mankai, i promise honestly i do think that his reason for joining is okay? like yeah you can join into / try new things just because, but Mankai wasn’t in a position to afford that back then

fdgfchgvjhbk Kazu come on I do love how he didn’t lose his energy with the info that Yuki’s a dude 

oh Yuki my dear Friendly McExtrovert won’t even be your biggest problem regarding troupemates in this arc

MUKU IS HERE

Tsuzuru vouching for Kazu despite everything

but also guys please don’t ignore my baby boy

baby boy

good, Muku, speak out for yourself!

It’s so weird to hear Muku and Yuki call each other by their last name now

Muku bby you haven’t auditioned yet, please don’t talk like that

Tenten!

Chapter 3

Tenma wtf’s up with that attitude you literally just went inside

Honestly i admire Izumi’s patience with him, i would’ve gone “look do you wanna be here or not?”

sdkhvbdfhv Yuki’s me

pot, meet kettle

istg if you don’t wanna be there you can just leave

Kazu you’re just calling him a nepobaby

i’m glad Yuki keeps calling him out, and even gladder when he did it after Muku felt like he had to apologise bc of his sigh

Muku bby no one said that

thank you, Yuki and Izumi

hm i’m puzzled about this line bc i did hear it change? I wonder what Izumi said in japanese

Chapter 4

kdbvhsdbvkd Yuki at least Izumi held an audition this time around

no one’s forcing you to be there! shut up!

mmmmm i don’t like this line

also idk if Tenma’s problem is not knowing how to read the room or just… knowing how to read it and not caring

ITARU AND CITRON FUDANSHI REAL?

haha hello fourth wall leaning Also Tsuzuru, you’re literally an RPF writer, you have no room to talk

the impulse to call Tenma a culicagado

thank you, Izumi

something something Sakuya’s acting having inspired THE Tenma Sumeragi

“halfway decent” those weren’t your words in Ep 1 Ch 35

why are you like this

Sakuya you’re too cute ;w;

Chapter 5

I do love how Kazu mentions Tsuzuru as a reason to stay at the dorms something something longing for a genuine connection something something Tsuzuru being important to him already

I’m glad Izumi double checked with the parents even when the kids tell her they have permission

i’d forgotten just how endearing Muku’s dad was 

it would’ve been interesting to see Kazu and Yuki as roommates

“Savage, but valid!” is actually one of my fave reactions to things

but also something something Kazu being a people pleaser something something letting people walk over him and be “savages” to him because he’d rather take it and say it’s “valid” than to upset someone or rock the boat in any way

Chapter 6

SUMI TIME

ROOM 202 MY BELOVEDS

Chapter 7

i can’t contain my smile i love Sumi so much

i love Muku so much too

Kazu being friendly despite not knowing if Sumi’s a ghost or not will always make me feel warm

also i wanna highlight the fact that these people are barging into his space and screaming their lungs out and Sumi’s reaction is to offer them triangles you can’t get more kind hearted than that

I have the softest smile on my face just watching Misumi’s sprite slide around the screen

when a rando breaks into your dorm do you a) call the cops b) ask him to join your theatre troupe

i’m glad Izumi made the choice she made but it’s still so funny to me

ngl tho i do wonder if her choice has anything to do with the fact that Sumi just admitted that he has nowhere else to go

kinda wanna write a piece on the dehumanisation of Misumi now

Kazu and Muku the sweetest boys ever

Citron and Misumi being friendly to one another makes me feel so warm inside

Chapter 8

honestly i think that, for his first time, Yuki did pretty okay

(Muku was too anxious but still i do appreciate the effort very much)

MISUMI ACTING! 

i will forever love the change between normal Misumi and acting Misumi

Misumi’s voice in his first etude w Tenma is so hot 

Chapter 9

i love how Kazu treats Sumi so much, even when he asks something that seems airheaded like the “what’s Summer Troupe” question, Kazu takes his time to explain everything to him ;w;

okay i’d forgotten how cute their relationship was, they got me smiling like a fool now

i love Yuki’s comments and comebacks at Tenma so much this one’s one of my faves

this is an interesting line and i’m so curious about what it says on japanese i know he’s talking about manga, but tbh when you say “comic book hero” i think like Superman (or maybe it’s the MAWS brainrot) and i kinda doubt that’s what Muku meant here?

Chapter 10

is it me or are there… “mkyk could be victims of homophobia” implications here?

NO MUKKUN THAT’S NOT WHAT YUKI MEANT (he’s thinking the other way around)

it IS very cute that they all arrived together 

honestly? yes, Muku, you should call an ambulance unless someone at Mankai has training to deal with it, you should call an ambulance (i am doing my best so i don’t go on a rant about what to do in emergencies based on my first responder training)

Sumi, no don’t feed an unconscious person, please don’t put anything in their mouths

Izumi i love you but that’s not how it works (says the person who faints and gets up a couple minutes later)

See, even if he’s just sleeping, the fall could’ve caused some damage to his body, so he does need to get checked

sorry Izumi but i’m with Matsukawa this time around, the generational gap IS something to be dramatic about

i LOVE how Kazu has got the solution for this, we love a nerd 

Chapter 11

maaaaan i’m so emo at Muku’s general perception of himself his teammates were nice to him and seemingly just wanted to see him more often? but Muku still thinks he disappointed them and says that him possibly being a track star is silly and *cries*

also i don’t wanna be a nag but i think Muku should’ve told Izumi about his injury when he first joined, the practice could’ve maybe made it worse and i would HATE to see that happening (trainer brain: on)

Muku’s such a team player and someone who cares so much about others i love him

yEAH THEY STILL CARE ABOUT MUKU and i’m so upset about Muku not seeing it

Muku my boy, those kids seem to genuinely care about you, i don’t think they’d laugh at you

yes, thank you Izumi

YES IZUMI! i love how she hypes him up in this way

sobs in Floral Prince

he’s such a cutie

Chapter 12

oh man i’d forgotten how stiff Yuki and Muku’s acting was at the start

i feel so bad for Muku his anxiety is so bad ;-;

hm i do know that Muku’s always been timid and anxious but now i’m wondering if maybe his anxiety got worse after he had to quit track

i’m not gonna lose my temper i’m not gonna lose my temper i’m not gonna lose my temper i’m not gonna lose my temper i’m not gonna lose my temper i’m not gonna lose my temper HE’S SUCH AN ASSHOLE TO MUKU I CAN’T

everyone coming together to comfort Muku, thank you

THE START OF MISUMI GIVING TRIANGLES FOR COMFORT

Chapter 13

y’know i don’t get why “amateur” is a bad thing

i DO appreciate Tenma’s respect for Sakuya and trusting him with this 

have you never heard of synergy?

what kinda directors has he had ‘til now to think like this????

lol i love Izumi’s reaction to his proposal

he’s so proud of it too lmao 

Chapter 14

this kinda nitpicking i can stand i’m finally starting to relax lol

oughhhhh this line says so much about how Kazu performs in social environments too and aaaaaaaaaah Something something Kazu understands and sticks to his role of paripi but he stays on the surface and never tried to go deeper with / make something more significant out of any of the relationships he has

hey how much do y’all wanna bet that Kazu knows the right answer to this but acted like he didn’t?

Sumi giving Muku triangles makes everything right in my life

Muku is such a good boy he works so much and cares so much and and and ;w;

Chapter 15

oh i will need some mental strength to make it through this chapter

spoilt brat. 

oh An’s gonna have a field day with this line lmao 

fucking spoilt brat.

thanks, Yuki

i’m clenching my jaw so hard just to get through these scenes

ah this line

i know that it’s true, i know that Kazu knows it’s true but holy fuck this line always stings so bad

AND KAZU’S REACTIONS MAKE IT WORSE! HIM NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY AND TRYING TO BRUSH IT OFF STING SO BAD

my chest is actually in pain rn

Kazu having no way to defend himself against that comment because it’s true, and he knows it’s true, and any reaction he could have, be it going along with it or getting angry and defending himself, would prove that Tenma’s right and it would make Kazu’s mask slip completely 

Chapter 16

Izumi is so much better at being a caring adult than i am

she’s also way kinder to Tenma than i would be ngl

which i guess was needed because we’re finally at the point where he starts getting better, thanks to her kindness and understanding

something something people grow and thrive better in a caring and understanding environment

okay i’m finally calm with this whole situation

Chapter 17

seeing Tenma try is so nice, actually, i’m relieved

YEY MUKU FOR MAKING IT 

for once i do feel like Izumi, i can’t stop smiling either

Chapter 18

heheh fireworks (let’s ignore the fact that i don’t like fireworks because i do like this part very much)

sdkvhbhdfbv Kazu and Yuki being little shits is so fun

okay yeah Tenma’s very cute in this scene, him being both naive AND showing that he cares about the rest in his fear? good shit

Kazu is so right about Tenma missing out on school activities being a sad thing him being the one to point it out makes me wonder if he’s either speaking from experience (having focused so hard in his studies that he didn’t get to enjoy the social parts of middle school) or maybe just projecting? either way, i think this is a nice line to read with the knowledge we now have about Kazu, it kinda foreshadows the reveal that’s gonna come soon

oh i am SO fighting Kusumi for this one

LIKE LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE REASON WHY WOULD YOU NOT LET YOUR SON GO ON THOSE TRIPS? I DON’T SEE ANY REASON FOR THAT OTHER THAN PURPOSEFULLY BEING SHITTY IT’S NOT LIKE HE CARES ABOUT MISUMI BEING AROUND ANYWAY

Sumi sounds so happy when he brings up being nc with his family but then you look at how he feels about Madoka and… yeah ;-;

yes, thank you Kazu

i was gonna say Tenma was being tsun when he said they weren’t friends (yet) but he IS right, they’re not friends at this point, they just started being friendly

this scene (and CG) made me laugh a lil from joy

Chapter 19

oh Kazu… this… hm… (this is where i insert my “Kazu flirts to keep people at a distance” hc)

Yuki’s disdain for all things romance my beloved

for once we agree

i do appreciate that the messages all the boys send are vague enough to be interpreted as not flirty

except what Kazu wrote for Yuki, that one’s just annoying

Good intuition Izumi

hm do you guys think Kazu’s “making up for lost time” line applied to himself too? because him being the one to initiate the gossip session makes me feel like it does

Yuki’s disdain for all things romance my beloved (2)

ngl i always found the wording here a bit weird like he’s specifying about who he does like when he’s trying to clarify something about who he doesn’t like? my only guess is that it’s like this for the audience’s / fandom’s sake

everyone validating Yuki’s masculinity is so important to me, actually

wording here is also weird but it feels more in character 

Sumi you’re too cute, never change please

n e ways this feels too yume-bait for me so i’ll stop commenting

Chapter 20

heh Sumi recognising Yuzo is so cute to me do y’all think Yuzo ever babysat him? i think that’d be cute

it’s very interesting to me that Yuzo’s criticism of Muku is not that he was bad or wrong in any way? but that he was gonna get overshadowed

hell yeah Yuki deserves all the praise for his work

Kazu too! He’s so talented

i love the designer duo, even if Yuki said no to teaming up and being a designer duo

[thesaintcomes]

[𝙄𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬]

– Livedoor News (2 February 2020) –

From Ballet to Musicals, the Girl Who Continues to Stand on Stage Since Her Childhood

- Hayakawa-san who is said to be in acting sector among the 4th generation of Nogizaka46, did you have any acting experience?

When I was little, I participated in a local musical during summer holidays. My mom told me that she would buy me a bicycle if I passed the audition, and I wanted that (lol). - (Lol). You participated every year, right?Yes. It was fun to make friends, hence I started to participate every year.

- I heard that you were also learning classical ballet.

That's right. My mom used to do ballet when she was little, so she already had leotards for me even before I was born. Therefore, I started learning naturally. I took a break when I was about to take the entrance exam though, but until then I had always been doing it all the time. Even after entering Nogizaka46 and coming to Tokyo, I tried to find classes and go when I have time.

- So you do like ballet.

That's the only thing that I've been doing for a long time. Therefore, rather than my actual love for it, the thought of "I've been doing it since forever, so I will just do it" played a bigger factor.

- But if you're not attracted to doing ballet, you would not be able to continue that far. What is the appeal of it?

You can face yourself when you do ballet. By seeing yourself dancing through the mirror, you can see not only how beautiful you are dancing, but also your facial expressions and movements. If you dance with a feeling that doesn't float, it will be seen in your movements. I think ballet will hone you through such experiences.

The Rivals Are Not the Others, but the "Yesterday's Self"

- After joining Nogizaka46, you won the fan-vote for 11 out of 16 performances in the 4th generation's first stage play "3-nin no Principal" and appeared in the second act. How was this experience?

After all, it was painful because it was revealed in front of me whether I was selected or not, and there was a great conflict within myself. But I think I got more than that. I realized that it was a fight against myself. - Fight against yourself?At first, I was just comparing myself to the others, such as "She is quick to remember the lines," or "She is praised." However, during that period one of the staff said, "It's a fight against yourself," and from that point on, the comparison target gradually became "my yesterday's self". It became like "Did I sing better than 'my yesterday's self'? Did I dance better than 'my yesterday's self'?" The rival is no other than my yesterday's self. I think I still think that way even after the stage play ended.

- You appeared as Sailor Mars in "Nogizaka46 Musical 'Sailor Moon' 2019". Did you know the work "Sailor Moon" well?

I knew it. Since my name is Seira, I was often called "Sailor Moon" (セーラームーン: Seeraa Muun) when I was little (LOL). However, I didn't watch the original manga nor the anime, so I bought and read the them after my appearance was decided. I actually had never read shojo manga before, so it became the first one in my life.

- Did you really enjoy it?

Yes. My feelings for the play have become very strong. During the "Principal" period, I was desperate to learn the lines, and I wasn't able to deepen my ability to play the roles*, but during the "Sailor Moon" period, I was able to concentrate on one role and pull it off for the first time. I went to Azabu Hikawa Shrine which is the model of Rei-chan (the real name of Sailor Mars)'s house, read the manga, and watched the anime. I really enjoyed the time when I prepared to play the role while talking with the other members as well.

- It's a very popular work, but how was the reaction around you?

The 4th generation members came to see me and said, "I too want to be a Sailor Mars." My genmates were like me, we were not able to stream "Sailor Moon" real time, but they watched it when the anime was re-aired. I wonder if the girls felt the same way (about me) as the Sailor Moon whom they admired back then. I was very happy.

*T/N: I assume it was because the roles of "Principal" were decided by fan-vote where the fans picked the roles they thought suit the members. The members performed on the same day after the roles were announced. Therefore, she couldn't be sure which role she had to deepen her ability on.

Selected As the Heroine of the Stage Play "Sumaho wo Otoshita Dakenanoni"

- And this time, it was decided that you will appear on the stage play "Sumaho wo Otoshita Dakenanoni". It was already made into a movie starring Kitagawa Keiko and became a hot topic. Did you watch it?

Yes. But I was scared and couldn't watch it (at first).

- (LOL).

I checked the synopsis of what the story was about, prepared my mind, and then watched it (LOL).

- How was it?

It was interesting! It wasn't the ghostly scary thing like I had imagined, so it was all fine (LOL). I'm completely addicted to it, and I'm also reading the original novel. I even read it back last night preparing for this interview. I couldn't stop reading after I started, to the point that even I still am wondering about the what's going to happen in the book next (LOL).

- Which part do you like?

It's like "I was deceived!" (LOL). Because I like figuring things out, it was really fun to think about how it was drawn from the perspectives of various people, there were thoughts like "Whose perspective is this?" Or "How would they pull it off on the stage play?" The process of finding out the truth is also very fun, so I hope I can solve the mystery alongside the audience on the stage play.

- This will be your first heroine on stage play alone, which means there are no Nogizaka46 members around.

That's right. I feel lonely ....

- I think the fact you have decided to work alone in this way means that you have expectations from the people around you. How is it?

The staff often asked, "Is it fun to work on the stage?" The 4th generation members also said, "I want to see you more on stage," so I feel very rewarded. About "Sumaho wo Otoshita Dakenanoni" too, they also said "I'll definitely go to see it," so I will work very hard to do my best.

Whether to Join Nogizaka46 or Go on to Higher Level of Education, Such a Big Choice in Life

- You joined Nogizaka46 in August 2018. What was the reason for applying for the audition in the first place?

I took the audition with a recommendation from my family.

- So you didn't want to be an idol?

I auditioned when I was in the third year of high school, but until then I was planning to go on to university. Therefore, I actually was sent to a cram school since the second year of high school.

- Were you prepared when you passed?

I wondered, "Is it okay?" "Am I really going to Tokyo alone?" "Is it okay to go on living like this?" I was thinking of going to university to study and find a typical job. I wanted a stable life (LOL).

- You literally jumped into a world that is the exact opposite of stability.

Yes …. When I thought that this decision would change my life, I was very worried that I even consulted with my homeroom teacher. After all, I can go to university later if I want to go. But then I thought, "entering Nogizaka46 can only be done now!" So I decided on this one.

- What did you think when you passed the Sakamichi Joint Audition and knew you were assigned to Nogizaka46?

I thought, "I'm glad I put it somehow." (LOL).

- So you weren't really thinking about which group you wanted to join.

I didn't know which group I would fit in. Of course, I was very happy when I knew I was assigned to join Nogizaka46!

- How was it when you first met the members?

I was overwhelmed by the aura. I still remember the first time I met them. Everyone had a really sophisticated beauty that I couldn't even put it into words anymore. I was super nervous ....

- Are you still nervous even until now?

I can speak more than before. I have more opportunities to work with my seniors, and I've gradually come to understand their personalities, also I think I'm not really a shy person since the beginning.

The Growth of Nogizaka46 Leads to My Own Growth

- It has been a year and a half since I joined Nogizaka46. I think you have had a lot of experience with singing and dancing lessons, recording CDs, shooting music videos, recording TV shows, etc. Do you feel that you have changed?

My top priority has changed somehow.

- Top priority?

It may not be very good to say, but I was thinking only about myself at first. It was something like "How can I live in this group?" Or "What am I looking for and what do I want to do?"

- Of course you would think so.

But over the past year, I've often felt that the group is building me up. I got my seniors who do things very well, and I also have a lot of media releases with my genmates. It's all thanks to the seniors who have made Nogizaka46 bigger. I'm often made aware of the fact that it's thanks to the group that I'm able to appear on the stage play "Sumaho wo Otoshita Dakenanoni". That's why I also started to think of the group as my top priority. Of course, there are times when I think about myself, but more than that, I also started thinking "I want to contribute to the group" and "If the group can grow, I can grow as well."

- Usually, people would notice something like that after a few years of working experience, but you quickly arrived at that point.

I think it's because I'm blessed with the seniors and staffs who also think that way. Nogizaka46 is filled with kind people, so I get attracted to Nogizaka46 that it has become an important existence. Over the past year, my love for the group has grown tremendously.

- Hayakawa-san was originally not familiar with idols, but what kind of profession and existence do you think idols are now after working as a member of Nogizaka46?

I think it's a profession that can make people feel positive. I like working on TV and radio, but I especially like the time when I can meet the fans directly, such as during live and theatrical performances. A good performance will make everyone smile. Seeing everyone's facial expressions makes me feel better. If I'm able to show my true self and they are happy about it, I would be happy too. I think idols are a wonderful job to create such a relationship with fans.

- What kind of fans do you have, Hayakawa-san?

They are very encouraging. I think I can do live concerts, handshake events, and works because of them. I feel really helped, so I'll do my best to give back as much as possible.

What kind of person is Seira Hayakawa?

- Finally, I would like to ask Hayakawa-san about yourself, so we have prepared a questionnaire corner.

1. Your personal current trend?

→ Soaking in the bathtub for a long time. Since I started living alone in Tokyo, it's fun to be able to occupy the bathroom by myself (laughs). It's cold now, I can warm myself up slowly.

2. What do you do on your days off?

→ Watch movies, go to ballet class, go shopping, or stay at home the whole day.

3. What do you like about your hometown Osaka?

→ A place where people are easy going and talking to each other always feels fun. After all, whenever I return to my hometown, I feel relaxed.

- But when you talk about it like this, I don't feel like you are from Osaka, including your dialect.

It's because I hide it! I'm interviewed for "Sumaho wo Otoshita Dakenanoni", so I thought I would be more like an actress if I didn't speak in the Kansai dialect (LOL).

4. What do you want to be when you are reborn?

I want to be a tree when I'm reborn. Something like camphor tree.

- A tree …? (LOL).

I want to live long. I want to see various kinds of periods. Isn't there a 1000-year-old tree? I think want to be that kind of tree.

[anxiouslyfred]

Double to Reply

Summary: Virgil gets yearly letters from his soulmate that seem to reply to things he never wrote and ignore the letters he actually writes. Today he’s getting this years soulmate letter that just might explain some of it.

Authors Note: I ran out of inspiration and desire to carry this on. I won’t rule it out but currently anything more doesn’t look likely.

/\/\

The letters had started when Virgil was 15 years old, as they had for every other person on the planet. Just a letter from his soulmate, once a year without fail.

He would always try to reply to the letter mentioning something in them and telling his soulmate about himself, his interests and fears, largely his fears. There was something about writing that just made it easier for him to admit what frightened him on the page.

The replies he got the next year never did the same for him though. They were forever referring to things he hadn't mentioned and wasn't aware of. It felt disheartening to think that his soulmate wrote letters to other people enough that they couldn't keep his letters separate enough to write replies actually intended for him.

This year had to be the worst yet however, since he hadn't even received a proper letter from them, just a photocopied sheet of a letter:

Dear Soulmates,

I'm hoping that I am right and there are only 2 of you since if there are more it might still take longer for us to learn of that. I would say we'll hopefully realise next year if one of us has received 2 letters, but believe it would rather be the year after that if the 2 who receive this letter write 2 next year and one of us still only receive one letter in reply.

For the years we've been able to exchange these letters, I've been frustrated and annoyed with the replies I get. Sometimes I get confusion in the reply over something that neither of us had mentioned before that, and other times I get replies to questions never asked in amongst our normal stories of each of our lives. This is what started me wondering if I have actually got 2 soulmates and if the letters are shared between us in an alternating method each year while we aren't writing multiple letters.

To the soulmate I got a letter from last year, I hope your audition went well. I wish that one day we'll be able to act together, whether that's just practising lines or appearing on stage or in front of a camera together I will be happy.

To the soulmate I got a letter from a couple of years ago, Breathe. It will be okay. We will find each other and I will speak up for you on the times you are unable to do so yourself. I don't know how your last 2 years have gone, but I know from the letters I think came from you before you've been worried. I want you to know that it will be okay. The world and I will be waiting for you.

As for me, my year has been both eventful and stationary. I know whomever received my letter last year will know I was trying to get a promotion which unfortunately I was unsuccessful in getting that time. I have of course gone for it again since then and received the role.

Life goes on however and I have managed to become influential in my local theatre as well. It was an interesting thing to realise that the place was struggling more due to poor publicity than the quality of their shows and all it took to get a supplementary role there was to engage in their publicity attempts and offer direction and suggestions for how it could be improved.

Now, while I await confirmation from either of you that we do indeed have 2 soulmates I shall only write this letter and photocopy it to send the additional one to whichever of you receives it. I cannot wait to hear how your years have gone, and will be delighted whether I hear from simply one of you or both depending on how this process works.

Until next year, my loves.

Virgil re-read the letter 3 times before setting it down, feeling doubt bubbling in him even as the letter made sense of all the odd things he'd realised from years before. Assuming the letter was true then he had 2 people to disappoint now, and seemed to be less important according to whoever separated the soulmate letters out. Why else would he have gotten the photocopy letter?

He could still try to be the best person to share letters with until they met. Now he just needed to figure out which letters he'd received from the past years to write personal letters to each of them.

/\/\

Roman would admit to not being the most attentive to anything that wasn't his obsession. He had at least noticed oddities in the letters his soulmate sent, but the written letter in his hands only delighted him.

He could have multiple soulmates, apparently only 2 according to the letter but considering there could be people who write similar it's possible there were more.

Even better was that between the stories they share and the handwriting even as much as the soulmate letters system tried to make all handwriting identical had some differences in it and Roman was going to find them all.

/\/\

Two letters came to Janus that year and he could only smile between them. He'd been right. There were 2 soulmates out there in the world waiting to meet him.

Now he just needed to figure out how to find them.

[estellamiraiauthor]

The Stars May Rise and Fall: The Annotated Re-read (Chapter 12)

Alright, folks. Chapter 12. Not quite sure why my brain picked THIS particular point to have the mental block, but I’m well aware we’re coming up on 14 and 15, which were hell to write. This one shouldn’t be so horrible in and of itself, though, so let’s dive back in to More Information About My Book Than Anyone Ever Asked For! (Spoilers under the cut)

So, I actually like the opening here, where it’s been three and a half days and Rei STILL hasn’t replied, and Teru’s STILL hoping and thinking it might be him every time his phone rings. In other news, I really don’t miss dating at all.

I’m not quite sure about Minori’s wisdom here wanting to cut a demo on the same night the new drummer’s auditioning. Are they going to get the new guy to play on the demo? Were they planning to have Teru do it? Or synthesize it or what? I have no clue. I think it just felt like, plot wise, both of these things needed to be happening around now. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, though. Sorry.

Anyway, now it’s Teru’s turn to act like he’s angry at Rei when he’s really probably just mad at himself. After a bit of internal angsting, he drafts and re-drafts this overly polite email pretending he really just wants to come over to get some sheet music. GOD, I really do not miss dating at all. I used to do this crap ALL the time… like, if you’re upfront about being interested is it going to come off as desperate? So better come up with some REASON for emailing, right? Except it can’t be TOO good a reason or the other person will read it as NOT interested. BLEH. Poor Teru. This particular relationship stage REALLY SUCKS.

Fun flashback here to old cell phones that had a little blinking light on top that would let you know if you had a missed call or message. Of course, Teru DOESN’T when he gets off work because of course Rei has remembered when he gets off and is going to time his call perfectly with that.

OK, now I really need to address the line where maybe I fucked up the most… I dunno, I got a really harsh review about this line, and while I don’t really agree with the reviewer’s logic that All Instances of Subconscious Ableism Should Be Called Out Directly On the Page, I would 100% change the line if I had it to do over again, because it didn’t really say what I was trying to say.

So Teru is walking to Rei’s apartment from the station, and wondering why this trip has come to feel so routine, and why he feels comfortable hanging out at Rei’s apartment when he’s never really invited romantic partners over to his place or been invited to theirs before. (This is definitely a Japan thing by the way, it’s much less usual to go over to someone’s house here until you’re REALLY serious.)

And he thinks to himself:

Was it because Rei couldn’t leave? But he’d seen Teru play. He’d been at the studio. Just because he acted like an invalid most of the time didn’t mean he really was one.

So, I fucked up with this line, and I apologize. I did not know what the word “invalid” meant. I thought it meant “housebound” or maybe even “bedbound”. It actually does not… it’s kind of an old-fashioned and icky word period, but it just means disabled. Which Rei clearly is. Which Teru definitely knows. And what I was TRYING to say here was that Teru did not feel more comfortable at Rei’s house because going out was more physically complicated than it would have been with previous partners, but because he’s genuinely falling in love. I clearly fucked this up, however, and this will obviously also not be in that hypothetical anime. (Note to writers: Look up any and all words before you use them.)

Anyway. Teru does show up, Rei gives him the music, but then asks him not to go to rehearsal, but to stay. I think he’s been working up the courage to do this for four  days now, and ESPECIALLY since Teru sent that email. Even though he’s still conflicted about “betraying” Saki, he’s spent that time trying to convince himself that Saki would want him to be happy, that there’s no harm in just taking Teru to dinner… so Rei screws up all the courage he has and makes this somewhat awkward but really sweet (in my very biased opinion) invitation.

Rei’s usual blue wig is a tangled mess, so he wears this greyish-lavender wig here that I REALLY want some art of. Here’s another regret: I had a character who could literally have a completely different hair color in every scene, and I did not use that NEARLY as much as I should have. But for their first real date, he’s wearing a different wig, and if anyone would draw that for me I’d love you forever.

And Teru suggests they go to Shibuya… this is kind of an inside-joke thing that maybe seems a little contrived. It makes SENSE that Teru wouldn’t be familiar with Rei’s posh neighborhood, but especially since they don’t end up going to a restaurant he’s ever been to before anyway, it might seem a little silly that I had them get on the train, but the first reason for this was that AGES ago, in 2005 when I wrote the first draft of this scene, I had a friend who was writing a series of real-person fanfics about visual kei musicians hooking up in love hotels in a specific part of Shibuya, where there are just a lot of them congregated into one area. We called it “love hotel hill”. I have no idea what anyone else called/calls it. But I knew they were going to end up at a love hotel at the end of the night and I wanted them in a hotel on that hill as a little nod to my friend’s fanfics.

The second reason was that it gave Teru (always sweet and considerate) a chance to suggest taking a cab, and Rei (always weirdly stubborn according to rules that make sense to him but no one else) a chance to refuse. “No one takes a taxi from Meguro to Shibuya,” he says, and that’s probably not REALLY true… rich businessmen who think public transportation is beneath them certainly do. But I think the point here is that Rei just really wants to be “normal”. And to him, before the accident, the “normal” thing would have been to take the train, so he’s determined to do that here.

And then when they actually get to the restaurant, which is on the ninth floor, Teru kind of hesitates before calling the elevator, thinking Rei is going to insist on taking the stairs, but Rei says “no one takes the stairs to the ninth floor”—again, determined to be his version of “normal”. This comes up again in the next chapter too… I think he just has this very very strict mental definition of who he is as a person, and he’s not willing (at this point) to change that, despite the fact that his body has changed.

(Yes, I know this is WARPED and UNHEALTHY. This is a fucking PHANTOM RETELLING. Does anyone think the normal, healthy reaction to being born disfigured is “build  a torture chamber in the basement of the Paris Opera and drop a chandelier on the audience when the singer you don’t like goes onstage”? No? Then can we please, please accept that I was TRYING TO WRITE A CHARACTER WHO IS MENTALLY ILL AND SELF-DESTRUCTIVE? THAT WAS THE LITERAL POINT.)

*Sigh* So maybe I was just putting this off because so much of what people don’t like about these characters at this point in time was THE EXACT POINT I WAS TRYING TO MAKE and also kind of a little personal?