#'i had a reader insert fanfic blog once that had over 2k followers'

[lumentears]

ayo i've got exactly 100 followers on this bad boy? cool

[shannapage]

What’s up, friends! An update on life and my writing process. Short story (if you don’t want to read this entire thing), is I’ve ceased writing my prior WIP and am instead 7,000 words deep in a new one.

So, I came up with the idea for Untitled (WT: Mage) around Christmas and had been mulling over the idea for two months before I decided to start writing. I enjoyed the idea, but in the middle of plotting, I hit a giant roadblock. There were certain aspects of the world I just couldn’t figure out and I had no idea how I wanted it to end. I also had general concerns that the idea wasn’t fresh enough, but I had no idea why. I just... felt like I had read it before. It stuck in the back of my mind, but I told myself it was silly and forced myself to push forward.

Those of you who follow me on my fanfic blog may know this is unusual. I always finish outlining a story before I start writing, but I thought this time I would try something new. I began writing Mage not knowing how it ended (dun dun dunnn).

Enter April. So, at the beginning of April I decided to do NaNoWriMo, which is where you set a word count goal for yourself and work to complete within the month. I set a goal of 50,000 words for Mage. About a week into April, I also decided I wanted to write a story for my fanfic blog, Exes and Superher-o’s. Guess which one was easier to write? The 25K for Exes and Superher-o’s came so naturally, and I just didn’t understand why. I was forcing myself to write 2K a day for Mage before even I allowed myself to write Exes and Superher-o’s and somehow, I did that.

Then, I stopped writing and asked myself what I was doing. Writing is fun for me. Obviously, there are some days it’s easier to write than others but always, when I sit down and start, I remember why I do it. That was the moment I realized I just wasn’t excited about writing Mage. I didn’t feel attached to the characters, I wasn’t interested in their development and I felt my execution was sloppy. There was too much going on, the build-up was unnecessary and scenes were repetitive. I just didn’t like it, and I still had no idea how it ended.

I stopped writing Mage for a few days to see if I had any inclination to return and there was nothing. Zip, zero, zilch and that was when I realized I wouldn’t miss it at all if I stopped. 

PROGRESS, PEOPLE! It took me so much shorter this time to admit the story wasn’t working. I’m obviously disappointed. It’s hard to think about the fact that I’ve invested so much time into something I won’t necessarily get back... but now I think that’s kind of the wrong mindset to have.

I remember how much fanfic I had to write before I came up with one that I loved. I remember how difficult it was to write reader-insert and how I had to train myself to do so. This is basically a reverse process. I’m learning something from each story I write, even the ones which never see the light of day. 

Last time (with Walkers) I learned: it’s okay to give up, and (for me), it didn’t work to take a half-finished fanfic and force it into something else. I wanted to think of an entirely character-centric idea.

This time (with Mage): I need to have the entire story planned out before I start. It doesn’t work for me to just write and see where things go. I need to understand the entire character arc, or I feel I don’t know them well enough to write. Also, I have faith in my own ideas, but I can’t just... force myself to think of a great one. I need to give myself time and allow myself to grow.

Which brings me to where I am now. Once I decided to stop writing Mage, I actually mapped out an entire Rom-com called “Snapchat is Too Personal” which... I may save to turn into a fanfic LOL. I faced a similar dilemma there. I was having a hard time writing beyond the first chapter. The concept still intrigues me, but I still didn’t feel that drive. That going-to-bed-thinking-about-it, planning-world-details-while-I-do-yoga vibe I usually get when I’m really excited about a story.

Enter Stellae. I have a new idea, y’all! This idea occurred to me literally last Wednesday and I’ve already mapped out all three books and written 7,000 words of the first and second chapter. I’m VERY excited about these characters. Honestly, this is the first time I’ve cared so much about my creations beyond a fanfic I’ve written.

I’ll be posting a small summary of the fic/updates on progress later this week, but for now, I want to keep the rest to myself. I don’t want to jinx it lol. But! I also have confidence that even if this doesn’t work out, there’ll be another idea. I’ll learn something from this story, just like all the others and eventually, the novel will happen. 

Thank you so much to everyone who has sent me support and love so far on this journey! I can’t tell you how much your enthusiasm means to me and I hope to one day pay it back, ten-fold.