#'i didnt want to hear her reasoning' wow sounds like you are a shitty friend!!! oh my gooood this harms literally no one

[oarfishing]

"in case you were wondering, YES, it is her REAL computer (weird) (insane)" bro we knew that from the post. you made that clear. youre just upset nobody else found that weird lmfao

big gamble to come onto the objectum website and go "my friend is objectum. is she insane?" and expect support

WIbtA if I interfere with a friends relationship?? (I know this sounds bad)

I (18F) am in a friendgroup composed of several people, including Rae (19F). A few months ago, she started talking vaguely about a new "girlfriend" of her, Casey. I figure it's a joke considering her past relationships (she had a much different approach and most of her previous girlfriends she met through us) But I humor her anyway. Anyways one day late night in a VC she lets it slip to me that Casey isn't even a human. It's a computer. Now before she had reblogged posts about "the eroticism of the machine" but I assumed it was jokes. Or even just a weird fetish thing. But I feel like this takes it a step too far. I make a private GC with our other friends and ask them if they think it's weird as well, but they either don't believe me or say it's not hurting anyone. Which I guess it's not! But still! It's an inanimate object, what will she do once it breaks? If she starts talking about her "girlfriend" with family? If she gets an actual human girlfriend??? I'm just concerned and want to discuss it critically with her but considering the mixed response I've received before I'm pensive. AITA??

What are these acronyms?

[planetjisungie]

misconceptions- l.jn

characters; gryffindor! jeno, slytherin! reader ft, gryffindor! mark

an; im making mark debut in every house, its what that man deserves 😔✋🏻 also marks kinda a bitch in this but like we still love him. this is part 2 of the nct dream hogwarts series

jeno sat in the grand hall, watching you walk in alone. your hair was so silky, and you looked so delicate and soft. but that, apparently, was the complete opposite of who you were.

"bro i heard she like, hexed a bunch of first years and made them look stupid in the hallway. poor kids" mark uttered. the topic of conversation was conveniently you, and jeno was slightly confused about where this was all coming from. "and it’s definitely true?" he asked, turning to his blonde friend. mark shrugged. "its y/n, so i wouldnt put it past her. last year she got into a fist fight with kang miyoung"

mark was always gossiping, he knew all the rumours in the school, if you wanted to find anything out all you had to do was ask mark. he knew everything and it was sometimes scary. but it wasnt always true, like the time he spread the rumour that choi san had cheated on his girlfriend when it actually had turned out to be his sister. that was an awkward one. turning back to you, jeno tuned out the sound of mark droning on and on about the things you had apparently done. he watched you sit down away from the other slytherins, grab some pasta onto your plate before silently eating. he watched you drink your cup of water slowly, before going back to eating your food. he also saw how the other slytherins would glare at you, or point at you while laughing. something didnt add up. why would slytherins, known causing petty issues, mock someone who supposedly did just that? it really didnt make sense to him.

so the next day, jeno had heard crying down the hallways. being a gryffindor, he ran towards the sound, wand in hand in case anyone was in danger. what he wasn’t prepared to see, however, was a first year on the ground, holding his ankle while crying in pain. but that in itself wasnt shocking, what was, was you sat next to him, a gentle smile on your face while your wand had a green glow to it, seeingly calming the boy down. he had then noticed that you were using a pretty advanced healing spell, which was odd for a slytherin to know in the first place, especially someone like you. in fear of being caught staring, jeno just swiftly turned around, brows furrowed from the thoughts in his brain.

the next time jeno had seen you, he was playing hide and seek with the gryffindor boys in the forest. he was hiding behind a fallen tree, when he noticed a familiar head of hair, and the black and green robe flowing around you. getting up, he silently walked closer towards you, trying to see what you were doing. seeing a creature next to you, he squinted his eyes. you were knelt next to a unicorn, a large gash on its right side, your wand with the same green glow as when you were healing the first year. you seemed to be at peace here, just helping out. not noticing the small smile on his face, jeno turned and walked away before again, you could notice him.

the third time he had seen you, was not as pleasant as the last two. you were sat on the floor of an empty hallway, a white cat in your lap as silent tears fell down your face. jeno felt his heart break for you, he could practically feel the emotional pain radiating off of you. deciding to actually talk to you, jeno made his presence known, walking closer before sliding down the opposite wall to face you. looking up, your eyes widened noticing the infamous gryffindor heartthrob, the crush of all the younger girls. clearing your throat, you wiped your eyes of the tears, pulling your cat, mr snuggles (the return of mr snuggles) closer to you unknowingly. jeno flashed you a small smile, which you returned. clearing his throat, he moved his gaze from the oddly adorable sight of you cuddled up to a cat to the cold wooden floor. "im jeno" he introduced, causing you to scoff lightly. "im y/n, but you probably already know that" you said softly. surprised to actually hear your voice, it wasnt at all what jeno was expecting, causing his head to whip towards yours. he was expecting an arrogant, cold, high pitched bitchy voice, but was met with a quiet, gentle and melodic voice. by now he was almost certain that you had definitely been misunderstood.

"uh- okay wow i wasn’t expecting-" jenos rambling was cut off with your soft laughter, watching your head lean against the wall slightly and your eyes close, shoulders moving up and down in response to the sound coming from your chest. "i know i know, you were expecting me to be some cold, brutal and violent bitch, right?" you said, a smile now on your face which was a nice contrast to your earlier face of sadness and utter despair. "i mean kind of i guess" jeno shrugged and chuckled awkwardly. you let out a sigh before extending your legs from the crossed position, letting them stretch in front of you. "its fine, everyone just blindly believes any rumours that are spread. youre not at fault, the slytherins are" jeno looked up in confusion after you said this, evidently showing on his face, adding onto that the noise he lets out which couldnt be described other than ‘a jeno noise’. noticing his obvious inquiry, you layed back and closed your eyes.

"i dont exactly fit in with the slytherins. my focus has always been to help others, to share what i have to those who dont. the slytherins obviously didnt like that, and i quickly became a misfit, so they started spreading awful rumours about me. no one usually bothers to check if they’re true or not, so that resulted in me not having any friends" you sigh after explaining practically the whole reason of your mental torture at hogwarts to the gryffindor across from you. jeno once again felt his heart break, and a small pout formed on his lips. "how comes you were put in slytherin then?" he asked. you groaned and opened your eyes. "stupid slytherin parents. i didnt get sorted, they work for the ministry so i was basically forced into slytherin to carry on shitty family tradition bullshit" you snorted, head lolling onto your right shoulder. jenos eyebrows raised. so you were basically not a slytherin yet put in slytherin and people practically bullied you for it. sounds pretty tough to him. "and you couldnt speak to dumbledore about it? im sure hed do something" he said, now genuinely concerned about you. shrugging, you reopened your eyes. "i dont realy care anymore, let the people think what they want"

after that day, jeno watched you a lot more closely. he would see how your nose scrunched up when you saw something you didnt like, or when your tongue poked out when you were focused. he sat across the room from you in potions, so when slughorn announced that you two were going to be partners for the Amortentia potion, he couldnt exactly say he was disappointed. despite the obviously sympathetic looks from people around him, he smiled as you pulled the chair next to him, sitting down carefully.

the lesson began, and you and jeno quickly started working on making the potion, working together efficiently and getting it done to the T whilst also having a little bit of fun. leaning towards the pot, jeno moved at the same time as you to smell what was supposed to be the scent of your crush. immediately catching a strong whiff of jenos apparently overpowering cologne, you leaned back, coughing and covering your nose. "jeno, stop wearing so much cologne" you choked out, trying to inhale fresh air. meanwhile, jeno smelt the scent of lavender and cotton, turning to you in disgust, not at the smell itself but the pure strength of it. "unlike you, i dont douse my clothes in lavender essential oil, jesus christ woman" he lifted his hand whilst staring into the pinkish liquid. "i dont think we did this right" you said, before slughorn came up to you with a delighted look on his face. "oh well done, this is perfect!"

that day lead to a lot of confusion between you and jeno. opting not to ask him about it seeing as he never questioned you, you just sat in silence out on the grass, staring up at the stars. you had snuck out of the castle to sit on the land around it, seeking some sort of relaxation. what you hadn’t expected, was for the black haired boy to somehow find you, sitting down quietly on the grass next to you. "so..." he started, before sighing and looking down. he knew he liked you, how could he not? the way you were completely different to how you were said to be, how you didnt blame others but the slytherins for being mean towards you, and just how kind you were in general. whilst most people would veer away from you, he was the complete opposite, finding himself attracted to you like a magnet. smiling slightly, you turned to face him. just like him, you had found it hard not to fall for him. in the times where people would doubt you, or just be plain rude, he actually came and spoke to you. jeno was the first one who cared about you, and not just the rumours that drifted around, he talked to you when no one else would.

that night, you two had a whole sobbing session, confessing to eachother and apologising for things you didnt even need to apologise for. needless to say, when you walked into the hall hand in hand the next morning, with grins that hurt your cheeks, it definitely put people in a daze.

[oh-goldeneyes]

CNCO comforting their s/o after fans are harsh on them

Requested? Yes! By @prettyboypimentel

(I thought this was a great idea btw)

Warning: none ?

Christopher

- probably started happening recently

- like a week or two now

- you don't really pay attention to them tbh

- you knew this was going to happen when you agreed to go out with Chris

- so you were fine with it

- -until Chris said something reallyyy dumb

- you'd be on the couch together watch a movie one night

- when the girl on the screen is seen cheating on her husband with another guy

- Chris kinda laughs and goes " damn she should stay with that one he's WAAY hotter just saying"

- you got reminded of all the messages saying Chris was probably cheating on you with someone else since he was a bit of a mujeriego

- you got really quite all of a sudden

- Chris looked over at you like "Estás bien, bebé?"

- you just smiled before rushing upstairs to your shared room saying you weren't feeling good

- you could hear his footsteps behind you so you quickly rushed into the bathroom

- he started calling out for you from the other side but all you could focus on was your phone which was now full of those messages

- Chris was knocking softly on the door begging for you to talk to him

- I can practically hear his heart shattering when you walk out with red eyes and a tear stained face

- "ay bebé, please tell me what's wrong it kills me to see you like this"

- he says pulling you into his lap and sitting on the bed

- when you do tell him what's wrong... his face is so full of emotions

- he looks angry, confused , sad , disappointed

- he lifts you head up with his finger and smiles softly

- " you want to know why I stopped being like that? Going after any girl who showed any interest in me and then doing it all over the next time we go out? Carajo Y/N it's because I met you. And - and I realized I didnt want any other girl, I wanted you. No amount of hate comments or edited pictures are EVER going to change that, bebé"

- and now you're both crying

- I dont think he'd go off on a rant on social media but you can expect a picture of both of you on his Instagram later with the caption:

- " oh yeah you're stuck with me for a looong time count on that "

Richard

- Oh, homeboy notices

- you two would be on your way home from a date when you’re phone vibrates

- He sees your face go from giggly to sad REAL quick

- You close your phone and keep joking around with him hoping he didn’t notice

- Once you guys are at a red light he says he forgot to tell Chris or Joel something and if he can borrow your phone since his is in the back seat for some reason

- you let him and he goes straight to Twitter

- 4 words my friends

- RICHARD

- IS

- NOT

- HAPPY 

- Clouded a bit by his anger he asks you about it immedieatly

- like “??? WTF is this???”

- oH SHIt

- trying to convince him it’s nothing and he should just drop it

- yeah, you just fueled the fire

- “drop it? DROP IT?! How can I drop this Y/N they’re literally calling you a slut how AM I GOING TO DROP THIS!”

- You two ended up in a heated argument on your way back home

- Once back at the house you don’t feel like fighting anymore

- “RICHARD there are SO MANY fans who actually like me ok? They’re just - just not as noticeable when 3/4 of them are saying the opposite..”

- He feels like a dick

- He should’ve talked about it with you not attack you on it

- Apologizes before bringing you into is arms letting you shed as many tears as you needed into his chest

- When you’ve both calmed down, you actually talk about it

- Probably heads to Twitter and says something along the lines of 

- “ The worst feeling in the world? Having the people who support you hurt the love of your life”

- when you wake up the next day the amount of compliments you got over shadowed the mean ones by a long shot

Zabdiel

- I feel like you 2 would be the couple who tells each other everything you know?

- so when they started bothering you he’d know

- THAT IS... until they started getting worse

- you didn’t tell him about it after a while so he thought it was getting better or no longer happening

- poor sweet clueless bb

- every night when you felt Zabdiel holding you closer you’d think back to all those tweets saying shit like

- “Wow can’t believe I’m saying this but can we get Gwen back?sjsks”

- he’d start to worry he did something wrong when he feels you getting distant

- so one day ya’ll are binge wathcing the Harry Potter movies and half-way through the goblet of fire you’re phone vibrates

- you were in the kitchen so he decided to look at it

- “probably her mom again”

- SURPRISE it’s not your mom

- Get’s teary eyed just seeing what his fans think of you

- we know Zabdi is one sentimental boi

- you come back with more popcorn and find him looking sadly at your phone and you freak

- grabbing out of his hands and quickly trying to delete the messages even though it’s too late

- the damage is done : he’s seen them

- You have your back to him and hear him getting up off the couch 

- at this point you’re both holding back tears cuz neither of you want to talk about it

- You both stand there in complete silence for a few minutes until you feel him tugging you into his chest

- and every ounce of strength you’ve had over the past few days trying to keep it together breaks right then and there

- You’re knees feel week and you’re both slowly sliding to the ground crying into each other

- You feel him turning you around and putting your foreheads together 

- “ay... ay mi amor. Why didn’t you tell me? You tell me every thing... why- why not this?”

- So you tell him everything you’ve been feeling for the past week and his heart breaks a little every time your voice would crack 

- You both fall asleep on the couch holding each other tight while the beginning of the order of the Phoenix played in the background

- He doesn’t go to social media for this, he just focuses on seeing you smile for the next few days and he makes you promise to tell you every thing and he’ll do the same 

- guys I’m crying why do I do this to myself

Joel

- Buckle up

- he knows when his baby isn’t feeling well

- prides himself on it haha 

- like you don’t have the time to tell him you’re sick and he’s already serving you chicken noodle soup

- so when you don’t finish vine references with him on time he like ???

- Doesn’t know how to ask you what’s wrong

- does he ease into the question or just go straight forward with it??

- he decides to finally ask you when he sees you distracted for the sixth time that day

- tbh you don’t know how to tell him either

- how do you tell your boyfriend you don’t think you deserve to be with him because you aren’t talented enough or EXTREMELY hot or funny or anything

- how do you tell him the people who support him the most got those ideas in your head...

- So you lie and tell him some shitty other story

- “uM... I saw a duck ....in the park...the other day that kind of looked like.... Richard??”

- Yeah, not buying it

- So he starts to insist on what’s wrong and GOD he is not making this easy on you

- after like 9 minutes of him asking what’s wrong and asking you if you don’t trust him anymore you just start shedding tears

- he’s too sweet you really don’t deserve him

- he goes into panic mode

- “shit I made her cry oh- no shit shitshit asshole - fuck”

- You tell him it’s not him that’s making you sad (he said that out loud dummy)

- you take a deep breath and let everything you`re feeling out

- Joel gets emotional because he used to feel those things about himself too

- Hugs you so tight, as if if he let go the world around him would crush you

- Carries you to your shared bed and wraps you into a burrito using the blankets

- Holds you in his arms again and spends the whole night telling you all of the reasons why he loves you

- Once you’re asleep this bb DIVES to Twitter

- to everyone’s surprise not to rant or fight with the CNCOwners 

- he posts a video of he filmed of you balancing a chopstick on your nose and failing many times while he’s laughing hard on the other side of the camera

- the caption?

- “ I’m gonna marry you one day, I swear”

- (I’m melting guys)

Erick 

- CLUELESS BABY BOYYY

- The minute you guys announced you were together the fans went crazy

- most of them really happy for you two they saw how happy you made Erick and loved you instantly

- ... the other half.... not so nice

- by that I mean hitting you straight in the insecurities... and HARD

- “ oof chubby much?” “seriously he could have anyone and he goes for THAT?” “awn she really thought she looked cute in this picture HAHA”

- yeah...

- so everyday whenever Erick told you a joke (cuz he loves seeing his baby smile) he noticed you’re smile wasn’t the same

- no matter how good you were at faking them, your eyes held so much sadness it made him sad

- so he tried to cheer you up by coming home early one day 

- oh boy

- he’s outside the door leading to your shared bedroom when he hears a sob from the other side

- he rushes in and sees your phone buzzing next to you

- and there you are your knees hugging your chest and you head down

- you look up and see him standing there

- *sniffling* “Erick? Que haces I thought you were getting here late-”

- he’s holding you in his arms 

- letting you cry into his shoulder as he peeks over to see your phone

- his heart breaks into a million pieces

- he’s holding the love of his life (he’s sure of it guys) , his world in his arms and the reason you’ve been upset all this time is because of his fans

- he doesn’t understand 

- how can someone not love you? 

- The way your nose crinkles when you smile, or your singing voice that sounds like angels to him no matter what you say, or even the corny jokes you two share all the time... your eyes that hold all the stars in the sky to Erick

- he doesn’t understand one bit

- he finds himself also crying into your neck

- You tried to explain yourself but he shushes you telling you it’s ok, he’s there and he’s not leaving

- and that he loves you 

- so so much

- *actually crying while writing this*

[swordbreakerz]

✨ for all of them, 🎥 for treasure planet and guardians of gahoole, 🍀 for 9-1-1 and penumbra, 📃 for unicorn chronicles, 🏳️‍🌈 for howls, treasure planet and legend of zelda, and 💎 for any ones you have facts for lol

you spoil me uwu

🎥 - ok for treasure planet, gotta be the 12 years later scene in the beginning and the zoom in to the spaceport, the way it transitions from jim reading under the blankets to him flying on his solar surfer is so chefs kiss, and just like. everything about to the spaceport lmao, fr guardians definitely the scene where soren flies through the fire and then blows up the pulley system to get rid of the flecks energy, bro when hes flying above it all holding the lantern before he dives down to save them? chills

🍀 - you know im on that projection shit w/ juno steel, ive truly never like connected with a character like that before and he’s really really helped me thru my recovery and transition lol, fr 911 uhhh ig buck or eddie? i havent Thought About It or like consumed it enough times yet to rly settle on someone but fr now,,, they

🏳️‍🌈 - ok for howls, Everyone Is Bi/Pan, howl is trans and autistic and i will die on that hill, fr treasure planet jim and cpt amelia are both trans and both of them + doppler are autistic, fr loz link is trans, autistic and semi nonverbal and communicates primarily with asl, post twilight princess zelda says fuck it and finds a way back into the twilight realm and she midna and link hang out, most of these boil down to everyone i love is trans gay and autistic because i say so lmaooo

📃 - OK SO. without like, spoiling too many plot points, our main character is cara and she lives with her grandmother. her mom is dead and dad is out of the picture. one day theyre getting chased by these people that her grandma knows and cara gets thrown into an alternate realm full of fantasy creatures using her grandmothers amulet. she meets a unicorn named lightfoot and a bunch of other rad people and basically, starts a journey to save that world from the Hunters. the Hunters are an organisation who specifically hate unicorns and want them all dead, led by Beloved, and cara and her friends have to try and stop them from entering the world and wiping them out. its sooo so so good and i highly recommend it cause i have no one to talk to about it please god

✨ - oh boy uh, well. im just gonna like list them out lmao

unicorn chronicles: i loved unicorns as a kid and read it when i was in elementary school, and over the years its remained just as compelling and well written as i remember and like. god the whole concept is so godamn cool and all the subplots that get introduced are fuckign fantastic and like all the different creatures are amazing i literally cant sing its praises enough

howls moving castle: must i have a logical reason? is it not to vicariously live my fantasy of running away to the countryside with a wizard boyfriend, his demon and his apprentice?? for real though, its such a fantastic story with beautiful visuals in the movie and wonderfully compelling prose in the book, and esp in the movie the whole time travel subplot with sophie seeing howl and calcifer in the past and then howl finding her in the future makes me go feral

penumbra: gays in space. need i say more? im a huge slut for gay found family and especially in futuristic space, and im a huge big fan of the lgbt utopia its created. like yeah capitalism sucks but at least im not gonne get misgendered in space starbucks, u kno? all the writing and dialogue is so incredible and the SOUND DESIGN GOD, alex i know u specifically can relate when i say i would kill a man for sophie and her incredible sound design skills, like dude the dance scene in man in glass p2 you can hear every single individual step they take and every swish of junos dress and i jusT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! god its so good, plus the whole the characters help me work through my trauma and repressed anger haha

911: this one is entirely your fault. so obligatory horny on main everyone on that show is so hot i want oliver stark to cradle me gently in his beefy arms oh my god. other than Men, the way it drives home the whole ‘you can’t save everyone, and it will kill you to try, so just focus on what you can do and keep living’ makes me so emo. the way it tackles big bureaucratic issues as well as closer to home interpersonal ones is amazing and i love how it shows people going through and dealing realistically with trauma.

treasure planet: again, who doesnt want to live in Cool Steampunk Space Travel Future? i really really love jims story and his arc, the way he deals with his trauma is uhh very familiar lol and his relationship with silver is like the ideal. the story is just the coolest concept and i love all the wonderful character design and animation, plus the soundtrack SLAPS and everything is beautiful

legend of zelda: ive been associated with this series from a very young age due to my name and as soon as i gave into my fate and looked it up for real i just kinda fell into it lol. i cant really tell you exactly what draws me to it besides ‘wow fun game!’ and ‘god i wish that were me,’ but like the absurd amount of detail thats put into each installment and the creative ways they retell essentially the same/similar story over and over is incredible

guardians of gahoole: so i had the same experience with this and treasure planet which is i remembered ‘oh hey this is a movie that exists and i cant clearly remember watching it, ill look it up :)’ and then it consumed my life for a solid 3 months. firstly this movie is absolutely gorgeous, the animation and framing is fucking stunning and the way they handled owls talking like people as far as the movement of their very inflexible beaks was amazing. it sort of has the same draw for me as warrior cats? secret animal society ft incredibly traumatic experiences and the characters dealing with it. like, the whole concept is just so fuckign wild and it works so well, i rly enjoy this niche genre.

💎 - alright trivia time, so guardians of gahoole is based on a book series and the movie only covers part of the first arc i think idk, BUT theres another series set in the same universe called wolves of the beyond that i devoured when i was younger! i didnt know they were connected for the longest time and when i found out i was :000, i still rly love wolves of the beyond and wanna reread it, as well as read the actual gahoole books. in the howls books, sophie is a redhead! also, markl is named michael and like a fully functioning young adult who ends up marrying one of sophies sisters. treasure planet is, obviously, based off treasure island but its so much better than the book dont bother reading it lol i tried and it was boring. there was plans for a treasure planet sequel that was fully scripted and cast but it was cancelled cause disney sabotaged treasure planet from the start with the shitty release and advertising and tldr we were ROBBED, also amelias concept was much more octopus like and while that wldve been rad im p glad she was switched to a cat for. several reasons lol. uhh i dont have a lot of Fun Facts abt the unicorn chronicles but for the longest time i thought there were only 3 books and then last year i found the fourth book by chance in a kitsch store and nearly had a breakdown i was so happy, like full on i started shaking and crying cause there was so much joy in my body i cldnt contain it.

thats all i can think of tysm ily, to anyone who read all of this bless u please watch guardians of gahoole and read the unicorn chronicles i will love u forever

[scbines]

WORD okay what up i’m ally, i’m twenty1, i use she/her pronouns, my timezone is est & small disclaimer: i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing, okay!! just keep that in mind when you .. go to read this complete shit storm okay i’m Trying.. anywhen! i may or may not have uhhh copied & pasted the majority of this from the last time i played her but.. that’s neither her nor there, tbh! if u wanna plot, feel free to hmu on discord at [mournful bagpipe music]#2581 or yk use the lil chat thing on tumblr if u aint got discord bhvfjn. MOVING ON..

cw: alcohol, neglect, sex ( & i think that’s it, folks! )

sab’s pinterest: here!

( sofia carson, cisfemale ) did you hear how SABINE VALDEZ is applying to columbia university as a PHILOSOPHY major ?! the TWENTY-ONE year old is living in the WATT HALL. i heard that they got in because they are +MAGNETIC and +INTREPID, but honestly i think SHE can be -FLIGHTY and -VOLATILE. they’re a real CATACLYSM. oh well, only time will tell if the JUNIOR will make it til the end.

imma just dive right in cos idk how else to go about it bgvjn

sabine grew up w/ a single mom in Detroit & they were basically skating the line between lower class and poverty, meaning they had like a proper house, but they were definitely behind on mortgage always and living paycheck to paycheck :// like when they went grocery shopping & sab would put anything but the basics in the cart her mom would look at her like ‘that’s a joke, right?’ and never could afford like birthday/christmas presents or cake or anything rip ( honestly not that sab’s mom gave enough a shit to even notice smh ) ! so everything was always a little .. hectic ig ? her mom couldnt ever relax unless she was blackout drunk so uhh that’s p much that on that sighs

even worse?? when sab was about eleven her mom got injured at work ( dont ask me How cos i have? no idea hibgfnjd i’ll flesh it out at some point.. maybe .. probably not.. ) so she and sab lived on disability checks and whatever small money sab could make helping her neighbors with like yard work/babysitting/shit like that until she was old enough to get a real job smh meaning she’s been working as long as she can remember god im exhausted just typing it

this basically left sab to raise herself, which .. most likely left her better off than if her mom paid her more attention tbh? cos her mom is selfish and doesnt care about anything but the next drink & the next man she’ll be inviting home smh !! the whole thing w/ her mom is that she Never Wanted kids but it wasn’t an option to abort or give sab up for adoption so she was Stuck raising a kid she never wanted .. truly .. rip ..

that said, sab’s mom was .. promiscuous to say the least .. all thru sab’s childhood there were countless nameless men in and out of their lives ranging from a day to a few weeks at most SIGHS anyways this of course led to sab having a seriously warped idea of what a healthy relationship is HELLO hvicnjm it’s super flawed to the point where she thinks the height of healthy relationship goals is to be exclusive for more than a few weeks smfh its wild tbh .. romance? dont know her! love? WHOMST? to sabine, there’s no point in bothering to rely or care for someone else because you’ll just end up disappointed so she ? keeps her distance for the most part.. relying Solely on herself cos thats the only person who wont let her down ( while also suffering from deeply rooted self-hatred? wow .. legends only .. )

anyways !! she Hated detroit like nobody’s business and always wanted nothing more than to Get Away from the toxicity of her home life and the suffocation of being the caregiver for a woman who will hardly get out of her bed gtg !!! so this led to her putting all her focus into after school jobs and making sure she was the top of her class At All Times like .. shes always been super determined and goal oriented but to a fault if that makes sense. she will work her ass off when given reason to, but once she’s accomplished that goal, she feels absolutely aimless sighs

bitch had .. like 3 jobs in hs and applied to a dozen schools, all of them at least 100 miles from detroit like Word ! she applied to columbia on a whim not thinking she’d get in but when she got that acceptance letter you can bet ur ass the bitch was Outta There!!

getting here tho … she isnt sure what to do next ihbvfcnj she never thought as far as majors and actually choosing what to do with the rest of her life so she?????? is undetermined about p much everything hgvifncjd but philosophy seems like the cop out she’s been looking for lmao !!!

anyways she works at a shitty diner not too far from campus like almost every day after classes but on weekends she COUGHS strips across town hibvfncj HA didnt see that coming did ya smh hibfnjd but!! she does it across town cos she lk wants it to stay a secret like she doesnt need to kick a frat boy’s ass for making shitty comments now does she??? but i mean .. its not something she’s ashamed of, she’s just Not Interested in having people she hates talk shit and slut shame ygm??

being so busy all the time, she doesn’t really have time for any school activities but she’s down for a party at any time ( esp if its like themed hbifnjd she loves a costume ) and uhh dtf too lbr shes v in touch w/ her sexuality #freethenipple ( does she even own a single bra?? we just don’t know! )

THAT SAID !! she doesnt correlate sex with like .. emotions?? cos shes never seen them in a situation where they’re mutually exclusive rip :// this led to her thinking people only ever Wanted Something from her be it her body or like a chance to put her down to feel better abt themselves smh ! she isnt a generally violent person but if it’s the latter she’s more likely to throw a few choice words in ur direction hvifcnj

generally, sab’s p much just ur Stressed Out Scholarship Student just trying to graduate so her life isnt a fucking trainwreck like her mom’s! she’s desperate for both human affection and adventure, so offer her one, the other or both and her heart is yours tbh! as much as she’ll pretend its not lmao !!1!1!!!!

anywhomst i cannot for the life of me think of anything else to type her atm since im??? garbage???? but !! mssg me if u wanna plot smthn out fam since uhh sab having friends??? sounds like a pipe dream tbh and im desperate for it lol!

[han-and-kai]

alphabet soup taggie

(this sounds so cute omg) thank you maknae bby for tagging me @jisxngie

A: age: 17 B: birthplace:  New Jersey, USA C: current time: 5:50 pm D: drink you last had: ...did i even drink anything today? E: easiest person to talk to:  my friends tbh we just talk about everything F: favorite song: i have alot but for bts its 21st century girl and for stray kids its school life G: grossest memory: oh gosh i was in 4th grade and i was at lunch and ya know i was a loner had no friends so i was sitting at the corner of a random table and i hear a girl from my table scream, and she dropped her pizza and was like spitting whatever she ate out, she bit into a cockroach, that was baked into her pizza, and i was just like O___O H: hoqwarts house: im a hufflepuff 100% ive taken every quiz ever including pottermore I: in love:  probably not? J: jealous of people?: there was a girl who applied to the same college i did for early decision, and she got it, and i didnt, and like i wasnt upset but like everyone was congratulating her (and i did too of course like wow good for u fam) but it just, kinda hurt, seeing that someone else got what i wanted K: killed someone?: my hopes and dreams L: love at first sight or should i walk back again?: how bout you stay there, and i go hide cuz im too awkward to say anything M: middle name:  i dont have one N: number of siblings: 2- an older and younger sister O: one wish: for the sadness to go away, so i can just live and be happy P: person you last called: my friend diane when i had an emotional break down Q: questions you’re always asked: why are you such a shitty daughter?  are you okay?  R: reason to smile: oh lots of things, bts being legends, stray kids debuting as 9, my friends always supporting me, i’ll get out of this house eventually? S: song you last sang: wooooooooooooooow.....shes H O T T: time you woke up: 7 ish? U: underwear color: (um ok?) black V: vacation destination: tokyoooo W: worst habit: i scratch and peel the skin on my fingers and my nails X: xrays? not that im aware of? Y: your fav food: lasagna  Z: zodiac sign: virgooo

i guess i tag ppl now

@felixsfreckles @koalachris @peachangbin @satanbagel @straykidshizzle @mosquitofelixsfreckles @squishywoojin  

[bronzeflower]

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Also on ao3

-----

Chapter 10: Romantic Advice And The Greatest Rap Battle In History

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

CG: HEY, DAVE. CG: I TRIED TO TROLL YOU YESTERDAY, BUT IT SAID YOU WERE IDLE. CG: ARE YOU HERE NOW?

TG: you bet your bottom dollar im here TG: sorry for not answering yesterday btw TG: got distracted by a bunch of other people pestering and trolling me

CG: IT’S FINE. CG: WE ALL GET BOMBARDED BY OTHERS AT SOME POINT OR ANOTHER. CG: WHO DID YOU TALK TO?

TG: some of my friends who you also apparently know or knew TG: i learned a lot of shit yesterday TG: namely that all of my friends know who you are TG: jade knows who you are TG: john knows who you are TG: terezi knows who you are but that was kind of expected but i did not expect that you were friends with her since fucking kindergarten TG: and then also aradia apparently was friends with you in middle school????

CG: WHAT? CG: YOU TALKED TO ARADIA? CG: GEEZ, I HAVEN'T TALKED TO HER IN AGES. CG: HAS SHE DIED YET?

TG: not that i know of TG: as far as i know she is as nice and cheerful as ever

CG: CHEERFUL? CG: CLEARLY WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE SAME ARADIA.

TG: so you arent talking about aradia megido here

CG: I AM, BUT CHEERFUL IS PROBABLY THE LAST WORD I WOULD USE TO DESCRIBE HER. CG: SHE WAS ALWAYS KIND OF CREEPY, AND SHE ACTED DEAD HALF THE TIME. CG: SHE ALSO DID A BUNCH OF CRAZY SHIT AS IF SHE COULDN'T DIE. CG: IT WAS, FRANKLY, EXTREMLY CONCERNING.

TG: that doesnt sound like the ara i know at all TG: except for the crazy shit part TG: she still does crazy shit TG: the ara i know is super fucking cheerful and happy TG: wait when you say she acted dead what do you mean

CG: I MEAN SHE ACTED LIKE EVERYTHING WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN. CG: IT WAS HONESTLY SUPER CREEPY. CG: THE ONLY TIME I REMEMBER THAT SHE SHOWED SOME EMOTION WAS WHEN EQUIUS TRIED TO ASK HER OUT. CG: TO BE FAIR, HE DIDN'T EXACTLY DO IT IN THE BEST WAY. CG: HE KIND OF DESERVED TO GET BEAT UP.

TG: holy shit TG: i dont know who the fuck equius is but what was the damage

CG: HE HAD A BROKEN BONE OR TWO, AND HE ALSO HAD TWO BLACK EYES. CG: WHICH WAS REALLY FUCKING IMPRESSIVE SINCE HE WAS SUPER FUCKING BUFF AND KNEW MARTIAL ARTS.

TG: can a middle school child be buff

CG: YES. APPARANTLY. CG: AND, AS MUCH AS NEPETA THOUGHT THE PAIRING WAS CUTE, SHE WAS ONE OF THE FIRST PEOPLE TO ADMIT THAT THE WAY EQUIUS ASKED ARADIA OUT WAS CREEPY.

TG: how did he even ask her out

CG: IT'S A MEMORY I PREFER TO KEEP REPRESSED.

TG: that bad

CG: YES. CG: IT WAS HORRIBLE TO WATCH, AND THEN ARADIA GOT SUSPENDED FOR AN AMOUNT OF TIME.

TG: she did it at school???

CG: SHE DID. CG: SHE ALSO DIDN'T OFFER ANY MERCY. CG: THE ONLY REASON THAT SHE STOPPED BEATING UP EQUIUS IS BECAUSE A TEACHER MANAGED TO PRY HER OFF HIM.

TG: jesus christ TG: i wasnt even sure that aradia was capable of being angry TG: she was clearly a very different kind of person when she knew you

CG: CLEARLY.

TG: also i dont know who nepeta is either

CG: SHE WAS EQUIUS'S MOIRAIL. CG: SHE STILL IS, AS FAR AS I KNOW. CG: I TALK TO HER SEMI-OFTEN. CG: I SHOULD PROBABLY TALK TO HER MORE.

TG: how many of your friends from middle school do you still even know and talk to

CG: WELL, I STILL TALK TO NEPETA, KANAYA, TEREZI, SOLLUX, AND ERIDAN. CG: SOMETIMES I HAVE THE DISPLEASURE OF TALKING TO EQUIUS. CG: GAMZEE STILL CONTACTS ME SOMETIMES, BUT I TRY TO AVOID TALKING WITH HIM BECAUSE OF THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST. CG: I'VE BARELY HEARD ABOUT VRISKA SINCE SHE WENT TO JAIL FOR SOMETHING. CG: I CAN'T, FOR THE LIFE OF ME, REMEMBER FOR WHAT, BUT I THINK IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN FOR STEALING SOMETHING. CG: AND THEN I DON'T REALLY TALK TO FEFERI, TAVROS, OR ARADIA ANYMORE. CG: I THINK THAT'S BASICALLY EVERYONE I WAS FRIENDS WITH IN MIDDLE SCHOOL.

TG: holy shit thats a shit ton of people TG: when i was in middle school i was only friends with john jade and rose TG: and rose was my fucking twin and john and jade lived miles and miles away from me TG: and you still talk to a bunch of them TG: even if i dont know who most of them are but will probably find out eventually TG: i think john once dated a girl named vriska TG: dont know if it is the same one

CG: WAS SHE WEIRDLY OBSESSED WITH SPIDERS AND THE NUMBER EIGHT?

TG: she was actually

CG: THEN IT WAS THE SAME ONE I KNEW.

TG: shit TG: john still has lingering effects of her influence TG: like typing out eight characters when drawing words out

CG: WELL, SHE WASN'T DATING JOHN WHEN I MET HIM, SO SHE MUST HAVE GOTTEN OUT OF JAIL.

TG: well i guess that development is settled TG: i apparently know a fair amount of the people you knew TG: who would have guessed

CG: PROBABLY ANYONE WHO KNEW BOTH OF US CG: ALSO, COULD I ASK YOU FOR ARADIA'S TROLLHANDLE? CG: I WAS BEING SERIOUS WHEN I SAID I HADN'T TALKED TO HER IN AGES. CG: AND I DON'T KNOW IF SHE STILL HAS THE SAME TROLLHANDLE.

TG: sure thing dude TG: her trollhandle is apocalypsearisen

CG: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S STILL THE SAME. CG: I COULD HAVE CONTACTED HER AT ANY FUCKING TIME.

TG: i wouldnt worry about it that much TG: you probably just didnt want to risk contacting someone super weird who you didnt actually know anything about

CG: I GUESS, BUT STILL.

TG: besides it is super hard to get a hold of her at all so i only really ever talk to her like once every few months TG: she does all this archeology shit so half the time she is in a place with no internet

CG: OH. CG: I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE. CG: ARCHEOLOGY IS PRETTY COOL THOUGH.

TG: yeah she gets to lead expeditions and shit now its pretty fucking awesome TG: going around licking shit to see if something is a rock or a bone

CG: WHY THE FLYING FUCK WOULD YOU GO AROUND LICKING RANDOM THINGS TO SEE IF IT IS A ROCK OR A BONE?

TG: because if it is a bone then your tongue will stick TG: thats how you know its not going to be useless if you shove it into a museum

CG: THAT'S REALLY WEIRD.

TG: you havent even heard about licking some thousand or something year old honey to see if it was still good TG: spoilers TG: it was because honey never spoils

CG: THAT SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT.

TG: no man its one hundred percent true TG: complete and absolute fact

CG: I'M STILL GOING TO CALL BULLSHIT.

TG: dont say i didnt warn ya TG: one day youre going to be arguing with someone and then youll both look it up on wikipedia to see whos right TG: and low and behold you were wrong TG: you will have to live with that humiliation for the rest of your life

CG: I THINK I'LL GET OVER IT.

TG: wow okay

CG: ANYWAY, I'M GLAD ARADIA IS DOING SOMETHING THAT SHE PRESUMABLY ENJOYS WITH HER LIFE. CG: SHE DOES ENJOY HER JOB, RIGHT?

TG: hell yeah she does TG: every time i contact her we trade stories about things that have happened in the past few months TG: sometimes really dumb shit happens that we tell to our other friends TG: while others are closely guarded secrets that we only tell one another and they never see the light of day

CG: WHAT KIND OF SECRETS?

TG: secret secrets TG: the most secrety kind of secrets you could ever conceivably have and share with another living thing that has the capability to tell others your secret TG: except that you trust them enough not to tell anybody about it

CG: ARE YOU SURE YOU ONLY TALK TO HER ONCE EVERY FEW MONTHS?

TG: yeah i would like to talk to her more but she is a busy person and so am i TG: our schedules dont always line up TG: particularly because of her going to places where she doesnt have internet and is therefore unable to contact anybody

CG: THAT SOUNDS PRETTY SHITTY. CG: I CAN'T IMAGINE NOT TALKING TO KANAYA FOR MONTHS AT A TIME.

TG: its a system that works just fine for aradia and i TG: it would be nice to see her in person every now and then tho

CG: WAIT, I HAVE A QUESTION. CG: HOWEVER, IT MAY BE KIND OF PERSONAL, SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER IT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO.

TG: ill answer depending on the question so go ahead and shoot

CG: ARE YOU MOIRAILS WITH ARADIA? CG: BECAUSE A LOT OF THE STUFF YOU DESCRIBED TALKING TO HER ABOUT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING YOU WOULD ONLY EVER TELL YOUR MOIRAIL.

TG: oh um TG: moirail is like the intimate best friend right TG: like pale and shit

CG: YES. THAT IS THE QUADRANT I AM TALKING ABOUT.

TG: ... TG: i actually have no idea

CG: OKAY, SO IF YOU TWO AREN'T OFFICIAL MOIRAILS YET, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HER?

TG: shit man i dont know TG: i just kind of think that shes a cool person who i would prefer to hang out with more TG: but like i know that her job is important to her

CG: YES?

TG: i dont know its just like TG: it would be nice to hear more from her TG: just to know that shes alive and doing well and safe and shit TG: you know

CG: YES, I DO KNOW. CG: BECAUSE I HAVE A MOIRAIL, SO I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT HERE.

TG: oh TG: huh TG: i feel like my previous definition is an intimate friend was kind of correct then TG: but like also kind of not TG: im not exactly sure how serious this kind of relationship is though

CG: IT JUST DEPENDS ON WHO YOU DECIDE TO BE MOIRAILS WITH. CG: FOR SOME PEOPLE, IT'S A VERY SERIOUS COMMITMENT, BUT, FOR OTHERS, IT'S MORE CASUAL. CG: SOME EVEN WANT TO HAVE AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP, WHICH IS MORE COMMON WITH HUMANS, BUT WHATEVER. CG: REALLY, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY TALK TO ARADIA ABOUT THIS AND TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL. CG: IF THE TWO OF YOU HAVE BEEN SHARING SECRETS LIKE YOU SAID YOU WERE, THEN SHE PROBABLY FEELS THE SAME WAY. CG: ALTHOUGH, THE RELATIONSHIP MAY BE DIFFICULT TO MAINTAIN BECAUSE OF DISTANCE. CG: ON THE OTHER HAND, YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HER HASN'T BEEN DIMINISHED FROM TIME AND DISTANCE, SO IT MIGHT HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO TURN INTO A STRONG MOIRALLEGIANCE.

TG: i think im going to think on it for a bit longer TG: but thanks anyway for the relationship advice

CG: OF COURSE. CG: ROMANCE IS MY FORTE.

TG: speaking of romance though TG: talk to me about your novel TG: it sounds pretty interesting from what little i have heard about it TG: and based on the amount of writing i have read from you its really good TG: so you should totally yell at the top of your lungs about it TG: shout your passions to the world and if anyone gives you shit about it punch them

CG: I DO THAT ANYWAYS. CG: I HAVE PUNCHED MULTIPLE PEOPLE. CG: THERE IS REALLY NO NEED TO ENCOURAGE IT.

TG: thats the spirit TG: so novel time TG: lay out your outline of novel in amazing detail for me TG: or whatever amount you feel comfortable with TG: really there isnt any pressure or anything

CG: FINE, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE SO INSISTENT. CG: THE BASIC SETTING OF MY NOVEL IS THAT TWO INDIVIDUALS MEET WHILE IN COLLEGE. CG: THEY MEET IN A TEA SHOP BECAUSE I CAN DO WHAT I WANT. CG: SO ANYWAY, WHEN THEY FIRST MEET, THEY FUCKING HATE EACH OTHER. CG: THEY'RE JUST COMPLETE OPPOSITES, BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT A BUNCH OF THEIR FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS WITH EACH OTHER, SO THEY END UP SPENDING MORE TIME TOGETHER. CG: THE MORE TIME THEY SPEND TOGETHER, THE MORE THEY REALIZE THAT THEY ACTUALLY LIKE THE OTHER PERSON. CG: WHICH EVENTUALLY LEADS TO THEM FALLING IN LOVE AND BEGINNING TO DATE.

TG: that sounds super interesting TG: infinitely better than that bullshit in romance novels where they fall in love with each other instantly and then spend most of the novel skirting around each other and beating around the bush TG: i havent actually read any romance novels but im pretty sure that is how it goes

CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH HOW IT GOES USUALLY. CG: AS MUCH AS A LOVE ROMANCE BOOKS AND MOVIES, THAT TROPE IS PRETTY FUCKING ANNOYING. CG: IT'S LIKE, JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER, YOU COMPLETE DOUCHNOZZLES! CG: OKAY, SO I MAY NOT BE THE BEST PERSON TO SAY THAT, BUT STILL! CG: I GOT BETTER! CG: I ASKED OUT KANAYA, AND IT WAS GREAT!

TG: really

CG: YES. CG: PEOPLE ALWAYS SEEM TO THINK THAT KANAYA WAS THE ONE WHO ASKED ME OUT, BUT THAT IS NOT THE CASE. CG: I GATHERED UP THE NERVE, AND I TOLD HER THAT I WAS PALE FOR HER. CG: YEAH, *SOME* PEOPLE MAY CALL MY APPROACH A TAD BIT EXTRA, BUT I WAS TRYING TO BE ROMANTIC, GODDAMNIT!

TG: how exactly are you supposed to be romantic with pale romance

CG: I GAVE HER SOME FLOWERS, WHICH CAN BE USED TO EXPRESS FEELINGS FOR ANY AND ALL THE QUADRANTS. CG: TYPICALLY PEOPLE JUST WRAP THE BOUQUET OF FLOWERS IN A COLORED WRAP THAT REPRESENTS THEIR FEELINGS. CG: RED FOR RED, PINK FOR PALE, BLACK FOR BLACK, AND GRAY FOR ASHEN. CG: I HAPPENED TO ALSO CHOOSE FLOWERS THAT WERE MEANINGFUL AS WELL, SO THE BOUQUET OF FLOWERS I GAVE KANAYA HAD YELLOW ROSES, AND IT ALSO HAD SOME CHRYSANTHEMUMS.

TG: what do those mean

CG: YELLOW ROSES MEAN FRIENDSHIP, WHILE CHRYSANTHEMUMS MEAN SUPPORT. CG: I TRIED TO AVOID ANY FLOWERS THAT MEANT LONGEVITY AND STUFF LIKE THAT BECAUSE THOSE CAN MAKE YOU LOOK DESPERATE. CG: YOU ONLY GIVE THOSE SORTS OF FLOWERS TO SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN YOUR MOIRAIL FOR A REALLY LONG TIME. CG: IT IS ALSO TRADITIONAL FOR THE BOUQUET OF FLOWERS TO BE TIED WITH TWO RIBBONS, ONE WITH YOUR BLOOD COLOR, AND THE OTHER WITH THE OTHER'S BLOOD COLOR. CG: SOME PEOPLE DO DIFFERENT KNOTS TO REPRESENT DIFFERENT THINGS, BUT I WON'T GET INTO THAT.

TG: this all sounds really fucking complicated

CG: YEAH, WELL THAT IS PROBABLY WHY PEOPLE CALLED ME EXTRA. CG: BUT, IN ADDITION TO THE FLOWERS, IT IS ROMANTIC TO BRING THE PALE ROMANTIC INTEREST THEIR COMFORT FOOD, ALONG WITH ONE OF THEIR FAVORITE MOVIES OR BOOKS. CG: IT SHOWS THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW THE PERSON FAIRLY WELL, AND WOULD LIKE TO PURSUE A PALE RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM. CG: SO, I BROUGHT KANAYA HER COMFORT FOOD AND HER FAVORITE BOOK.

TG: i assume she responded positively since you two are now moirails

CG: YES. CG: WE HAD A VERY ENJOYABLE DATE.

TG: are there any nuances about the other quadrants i should know about

CG: IT DEPENDS ON WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE WILLING TO DO A BLACK OR ASHEN RELATIONSHIP. CG: MOST PARTICIPATE IN THE MORE RED QUADRANTS, BUT MANY FEEL WEIRD ABOUT THE DARKER ONES. CG: TO BE FAIR, THEY ARE EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO KEEP UP BECAUSE THEY REQUIRE A PROPER RIVALRY. CG: THE BASIC STIRRINGS OF BLACK FEELINGS IS A FEELING OF RESPECT FOR THE OTHER PERSON. CG: YOU CAN'T HAVE A PROPER RIVALRY IF YOU DON'T RESPECT THE OTHER PERSON AND RECOGNIZE THAT THEY HAVE GOOD TRAITS. CG: THE MORE MAJOR FEELINGS THAT TEND TO GET UP PLAYED ARE THE FEELINGS OF ANIMOSITY TOWARDS THE OTHER PERSON. CG: HOWEVER, PEOPLE SEEM TO FORGET THAT THE RESPECT PLAYS A HUGE PART IN BLACK ROMANCE. CG: THE ASHEN QUADRANT IS EVEN MORE DIFFICULT BECAUSE IT TAKES THE BLACK QUADRANT AND ADDS ANOTHER PERSON TO MAKE SURE THAT THE KISMESISES DON'T KILL EACH OTHER. CG: SOMETIMES, THE HAPPENINGS OF A PITCH RELATIONSHIP IS DEPENDENT ON HOW GOOD THE AUSPISTICE IS. CG: AND THERE ARE VERY FEW GOOD AUSPISTICES, MUCH LESS PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY INTERESTING IN BEING ONE. CG: KANAYA IS ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE I KNOW WHO ACTUALLY HOLDS AN INTEREST IN BEING AN AUSPISTICE, SO SHE KNOWS MORE ABOUT IT.

TG: well thats a shit ton of information TG: i think i need my info a bit more spread out and a bit more simply worded TG: although it might just be because i have a hard time wrapping my mind around this black romance stuff TG: i think ill stick with the red quadrants thank you very much

CG: WELL, IF YOU EVER NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT QUADRANTS AND THE ROMANCE ASSOCIATED WITH EACH OF THEM, THEN I'M THE PERSON TO GO TO.

TG: i think i got that with the first word about quadrants that decided to waterfall out of your mouth

CG: THAT IS BECAUSE I AM SUPERIOR WHEN IT COMES TO KNOWLEDGE ABOUT QUADRANTS.

TG: yes you are TG: bow down to the great king of quadrants everybody TG: his greatness and might are too glorious to behold TG: youve got to fuckin look in the corner of your eyes to even begin to behold his beauty and glory TG: all hail the king of the quadrants

CG: FUCK YES. CG: BOW DOWN TO ME, PEASANTS, FOR I AM YOUR GOD. CG: QUIVER BEFORE MY MIGHT.

TG: they quiver before you my liege TG: they are fearful of the power you possess

CG: OKAY, THIS IS SOUNDING WAY TOO MUCH LIKE ONE OF NEPETA'S ROLEPLAYS, SO I'M GOING TO PUT A STOP TO IT HERE. CG: JUST, STOP.

TG: oh shit if nepeta does this kind of roleplay shit im going to need a way to contact her

CG: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I EVER WANT TO GIVE YOU THE MEANS TO TALK TO HER.

TG: because you want your friends to meet each other

CG: NOT REALLY. CG: ANYTIME THAT HAPPENS, THE TWO END UP GETTING ALONG INSUFFERABLY WELL, AND THEY END UP MAKING ME SUFFER.

TG: i guess ill just have to find another way to get her contact information

CG: GOOD FUCKING LUCK WITH THAT. CG: BUT SERIOUSLY, IF YOU END UP TALKING TO NEPETA, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TALK TO EQUIUS AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER. CG: THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS EXTREMELY SERIOUS. CG: THE TWO ARE SO PALE FOR EACH OTHER IT'S ALMOST SICKENING. CG: YOU MIGHT END UP WITH A BROKEN HAND.

TG: what for talking to nepeta TG: that seems like a dick move

CG: NO, IT WON'T BE FOR TALKING TO NEPETA. CG: IT WILL JUST BE FOR MEETING HIM. CG: HE HAS A REALLY STRONG HANDSHAKE. CG: DO NOT USE YOUR DOMINATE HAND WHEN GIVING HIM A HANDSHAKE.

TG: ... TG: ill keep that in mind TG: btw i want to know something TG: has rose pestered you yet

CG: WHY WOULD SHE PESTER ME?

TG: so she hasnt TG: she found out it was going to be kanayas bday soon and she was freaking out about it TG: because she didnt know what to get kanaya TG: i told her to contact you since you are moirails with kanaya

CG: KANAYA WOULD BE OVERJOYED JUST BEING GIVEN A GIFT FROM ROSE. CG: I DON'T KNOW WHAT ROSE IS FREAKING OUT ABOUT.

TG: thats what i said TG: but yeah you should probably message her just to make sure she hasnt gone into solitude about it

CG: HAS SHE ACTUALLY GONE INTO SOLITUDE FOR THINGS LIKE THAT?

TG: no TG: she mostly goes into solitude near a book deadline TG: but still TG: it is a concern of mine

CG: ALRIGHT. CG: I'LL TRY TO TALK SOME SENSE INTO HER. CG: WHAT'S HER HANDLE?

TG: tentacletherapist

CG: I GUESS I'LL GO MESSAGE HER NOW. CG: I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.

TG: see ya my dude

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

You begin to brainstorm ideas for possible videos for your channel in the future, and you kept this up for about an hour before someone started messaging you.

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

GA: This Is Dave Correct GA: I Am Kanaya Just In Case You Did Not Recognize My Handle

TG: yep this is dave TG: whats up kanaya what do you need

GA: I Do Not Actually Need Anything From You GA: I Simply Wanted To Make Sure That I Had The Handle Right Before Contacting You In The Future GA: However I Would Not Be Adverse To A Conversation

TG: well lets see what could we possibly talk about TG: there are a shit ton of potential topics we could discuss TG: and yet my brain is coming up blank TG: despite all my swank this shit aint ready to bank TG: the topics at hand are inside the void TG: were reaching for them grabbing at them TG: but we miss more than a storm trooper droid TG: we pick up a topic and were like oh shit we grabbed it TG: only for it to slip out of our hands and end up cracking it

GA: Do You Happen To Partake In The Art Of Slam Poetry

TG: thats like the troll way of saying rap right TG: hell fucking yeah i do TG: do you want to do a rap battle with me

GA: I Do Not Do This Sort Of Thing Very Often But I Would Like To Accept Your Challenge GA: Would You Rather You Or I Go First

TG: if youre feeling up to it you can go first

GA: If You Insist GA: Here I Go GA: The World Was Created A Long Time Ago GA: And Yet It Has No Time For Your Parlor Tricks GA: All They Do Is Make Us Sick GA: The Stars Align And They Make Me Shine GA: Far Brighter Than The Sun That I Have Claimed As Mine GA: You Seem To Have The Belief That You Are Better Than I GA: But I Regret To Inform You That I Will Make You Cry

TG: holy shit that was great TG: but frankly i have to reiterate TG: my rhymes are slick and holding to a beat TG: theres not a lot of thinking that goes into what im bringing TG: theres no time to think no time to meet TG: just listen to the words here that i here am singing TG: youve got to have more than rhymes to kick my ass TG: and frankly based on that youre not gonna last TG: cause my beats are sick so sick in fact TG: that my old raps are practically some cool artifact

GA: That Youre Raps Are An Artifact You Have Correct GA: But I Have To Inform You That You Need To Double Check GA: What You Think It Means At Least GA: For I Believe They Were Thrown In The Garbage Yesterday GA: You Should Feel Horrid If That Is The Case GA: That Is Where They Were Meant To Be Anyway GA: Mine However Are The Hottest You Ever Will See GA: And If You Say Otherwise All Will Disagree

TG: my rhymes may be trash but theyre ironically shitty TG: just wait and see if you can reach my level of petty TG: my beats made of coal and with enough pressure and heat TG: my beats will be the most beautiful diamonds on the street TG: ill be forever engrained in the earth TG: youll be the one always waiting around for a rebirth

GA: Im Going To Have To Say I Agree Your Rhymes Are Shitty GA: Theyre Gritty And Im Pretty GA: And Im Worth More Than Being Just Petty GA: Youre Admitting That Your Trash GA: You Might As Well Be Ash GA: Ive Won Already So I Hope That You Are Ready GA: Your Diamonds Are Fake As Is Your Declaration GA: Just Pack Up Your Bags Youre Leaving The Station

TG: okay okay i yield TG: leaving the station now TG: didnt even pack my bags thats how roasted my ass got TG: your rhymes are too sick for me to handle TG: like holy shit where did you learn to rap like that

GA: I Dabble In The Art Of Slam Poetry And The Art Of Poetry Alike GA: Not As Often As I Would Like Though GA: Perhaps We Can Do This Again Another Time

TG: i will totally take you up on your offer TG: its been a while since ive had a worthy opponent TG: especially one that beat me into the ground so soundly

GA: I Will Continue Honing My Skills

TG: and ill do the same over here

GA: It Was Enjoyable Talking With You GA: Or In This Case Slamming With You GA: I Will Contact You In The Future

TG: wait hold on before you go TG: karkat mentioned a friend named nepeta and i want to get her contact info TG: do you have this information

GA: Her Trollhandle Is ArsenicCatnip GA: However I Do Not Know Why Karkat Would Withhold This Information From You

TG: i think he might have been worried how well we would get along

GA: I Still Do Not Understand GA: I Should Be Going Now GA: I Will Message You Again In The Future

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

Well, you guess it’s time to message Nepeta for the first time.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC] --

TG: yo youre nepeta right TG: i heard about you from my friend karkat who is also your friend TG: i got your handle from kanaya tho because karkat refused TG: he said he didnt want to bring the powers that we have together TG: well i said fuck that and so here i am pestering you

AC: :33 < i am nepeta, but who are mew?

TG: oh shit TG: i guess i completely forgot to introduce my awesome self TG: im dave TG: nice to meet you

AC: :33 < its nice to m33t you too! AC: :33 < how did you and karcat meet? AC: :33 < he doesnt really talk to anyone outside his furiend group

TG: i met him at his work and i kinda rambled a shit ton like i always do TG: and i made him laugh and i gave him my chumhandle

AC: :33 < ! AC: :33 < you made him laugh? AC: :33 < i almost nefur hear him laugh beclaws he just wants to be all grumpy all the time

TG: it might of just been because he was at work and didnt feel like risking yelling at me TG: which he does all the time TG: anyway i heard you like roleplaying with people

AC: :33 < i do! AC: :33 < would mew like to rolepurrlay with me?

TG: hell yes

AC: :33 < i usually rolepurrlay as a cat AC: :33 < what would mew like to be?

TG: shit if were going to be doing animals and shit then i want to be a crow TG: crows are the shit TG: you can start if you want to

AC: :33 < *ac crouches behind some bushes, watching her unsuspecting prey*

TG: *tg stands there pecking at the ground or some shit*

AC: :33 < *when ac is sure the crow isnt suspecting it, she pounces!*

TG: *tg squawks as ac attacks him he is completely fucking oblivious to how this could have possibly happened*

AC: :33 < *ac successfurlly holds the crow in her claws, purrparing to eat her dinner*

TG: *tg begs that ac does not eat him over and over he shouts to not be eaten by her*

AC: :33 < *ac carefurlly considers not eating the crow* AC: :33 < *in the end, howefur, ac opens her maw and asks if the crow would like to watch a documentary about animals!*

TG: *tg stares in disbelief at his tactic of begging actually working* TG: *not wanting to give ac any reason to eat him he accepts her invitation* TG: *he says that he would love to*

AC: :33 < *ac says that this rolepurrlay was furry fun!*

TG: *tg says ditto and would like to do this again sometime*

AC: :33 < *ac agrees but must go now so she will troll you again in the furture*

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

Well, that was pretty fun. Soon enough, you both will be able to use your powers for evil. And by evil, you mean to annoy Karkat, at least a little bit. Maybe you could invite them both out at some point.

You hear the doorbell ring, and you go to the door to find a package at your doorstep. Sweet. More stuff to review for your channel. As if you didn’t have enough shit already.

You set up your recording stuff and start recording. You open the box in absolute silence and slowly pull out the merchandise. It’s a rug. A very, very soft rug.

“The first carpet industry was made in 1791 by a dude named William Sprague in Philadelphia. However, it isn’t the United States that make the best rugs. Eastern counties actually have the best carpets, like India. They make a hell of a lot of rugs. This rug isn’t from India though. It’s just a really soft rug. Look how soft that shit is. Softer than the nicest goddamned silk in the world.”

You rub the carpet against your face.

“Just be sure to take off all the tags so you can get the full sensory experience of the rug. Now, of course, I can’t just keep rubbing my face against this lovely carpet. I’ve got to put it on the floor where it can do what it’s supposed to do. Be a rug.”

You place the carpet on the floor and step on it. You wriggle around your toes.

“Still just as amazing on my feet as it was on my face. Though, you might not want it to rub your face against it once you’ve rubbed your feet on it. Unless you’re into that sort of thing. I’m not judging. But you might want to wash it.”

After a few more minutes of rambling on about the texture and color and other sensory stuff about the carpet before stopping the recording.

Time to edit the fuck out of this shit. After you find a place for the pink carpet you bought. It was way too nice to throw away, and pink is a great color.

[ramofolympus]

Does this work? (Sorry about the format)

“Amélie, are you sure you can scale this building without being caught? There are over 48 cameras…I just don’t know how I feel about this.” I say, grazing my thumb over my lips as, I often do when I’m thinking.

“Oui, oui, yes. Can we just skip to the post-planning sex, please? You know I don’t like being made to wait.” Amélie frowns slightly as she grabs my hand to pull me closer.

“Darlin’, you know we don’t celebrate until after we’re sure that our plan is guaranteed to be a success.” I say, shaking my head at Amélie.

“Yeah right. When has a plan ever gone wrong for us.” Amélie argues, trying to pull me close again.

“That’s the kind of thinking that causes shit to go wrong. Let’s just go over it one more time so we are sure we get it right.” I say, wrapping my arms around her neck.

“Je veux juste être baisée putain,” Amélie sighs in frustration.

“Now darlin, you know I’m a sucker for french and I get the gist of what you just said, but I don’t think I like your tone.” I say, slowly dragging my hands up her thighs.

“‘Make me pay for it then, my love.” Amélie says, laying back on the table, pushing our planning and sketches to the side.

“Oh I plan on it.” I whisper, crawling on top of Amélie and kissing a trail up her stomach.

“Hey Boss! Ya have a visitor. I don’t think it can wait.” One of my shitty goons shouts, knocking on my door, totally ruining the fucking mood. 

“It. Can. Wait,” I growl against Amélie’s neck.

Amélie digs her nails into the back of my neck and I have to hold back a moan. She knows how much I love how rough she gets when she’s turned on.

“Gee Boss, man I dunno. This chick looks like your clone or something. But like younger I guess? This is really trippy for me. Am I tripping right now?” Idiot goon replies and I sigh because I really fucking thought he could take a fucking hint..

“You have a girl looking for you? A clone? Should I be jealous?’ Amélie jokingly pushes my face back with a raised brow.

“She said she’s lifelong friends with B.O.B and wants to talk, but maybe it can wait til later.” Idiot goon says and God, what does it take to be able to get some action around here?

I roll my eyes and grumpily rub my temple. A younger clone of me who is a lifelong friend of B.O.B? What the everloving fuck? I guess we stole a bad shipment of drugs, because that is the craziest shit I’ve ever heard one of my crew say. B.O.B doesn’t even have any friends other than the Deadlock Gang.

The only other people he’s ever really known are -

My neck starts  burning with a prickly sensation and I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut.

Holy Shit.

No way… This can’t be true. She can’t be here, surely? Didn’t she live all the way in the north east? Possibly even Europe?

“Very well. Give me a minute.” I reply.

“She’ll be with ya in just a minute.” Idiot goon says to our guest and I hear a sassy “Yeah, so I heard” in reply.

“Mon Chéri are you okay? You look so pale, what’s wrong?” Amélie asks, stroking both of my cheeks at the same time.

“It looks like a mistake of the past has caught up with me. I’ll explain to you later tonight? Okay?” I say as I straighten up my hair and my clothes.

“Oui, of course.” Amélie says and I can see that she’s still studying my face.

I take a deep breath as I reach forward to open the door. For some reason I feel incredibly nervous, which is not like me at all. Holding the door open for Amélie, I let her walk out first and she gasps in shock as she takes a look at our special guest.

“Quoi?” I hear Amélie whisper and she looks back at me, understandably confused but I just can’t make eye contact with her. I’m feeling embarrassed and guilty which again isn’t like me at all.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I raise a hand bye to Amélie and she gives me a sad sort of smile and I feel even worse than I did in the first place.

“Hey kid. How did you get here?” I ask. Might as well just get it all over and done with.

“I took the midnight train going anywhere and just ended up here.” This kid says sarcastically and I have to hold back a laugh.

“I guess you want to know everything right? Why I did it, if I regret it, if it was hard to do, et cetera et cetera?” I ask her, looking at her for the first time and holy shit, she really does look like my twin. She has his eyes though. And his color too. She’s definitely a looker.

“You hit the jackpot, Sherlock.” Mini me says and I’ve had about enough of her sass.

“Listen here kid, if you knew who I was, you wouldn’t be talking like that. I’d watch it if I were you.” I warn her and fuck I need a drink.

“I have a name. It’s Delilah. And I know exactly who you are - you’re the leader of a shitty gang with nothing better to do, right?” Delilah says and I must admit, I do admire the balls this kid has.

“Now look,” I say, holding back a smile, “You’re not wrong. But if you weren’t you, I’d have killed you for that talk.”

“Then why don’t you?” Delilah asks.

“Because I at least owe you an explanation, first.” I sigh. “Come on kid, let’s head to the bar.”

“But I’m 17… they won’t let me in.” Delilah says, still following me regardless.

“Shit kid, they will if you’re with me. Don’t worry about it.” 

BREAK

The door jingles as we walk into the somewhat busy bar and I can see feel the stare of multiple looks towards us.

“Leave.” I say and chairs scramble as they take the hint.

Luckily B.O.B is our bartender and he starts happily clapping his hands when he sees Delilah. She runs up to hug him and he spins her around in a circle, just like he did with me when I was young.

“You want a drink, kid?” I ask.

“Can I get a shot of Jack?” Delilah asks. I’m pretty sure she’s testing to see if I’ll stop her from drinking alcohol but honestly I really don’t care. B.O.B looks for my reaction so I just I shrug my shoulders.

“Sure,” I say, not letting her know it’s my favorite drink.

We both take a shot and I’m actually surprised at how well she takes it. The burning sensation is a welcoming feeling and I wave at B.O.B for another.

“We are going to be here a while so let’s get B.O.B to cook you something up. Does a burger sound good to you?” I ask Delilah and she nods her head happily. 

“A burger sounds great to me.” Delilah says. “B.O.B’s a great cook. My parents loved when he came to visit.”

Taking the second shot, I rub my temple, confused on where to start. Like surely this kid hates me. Surely she wants nothing to do with me. So why is she here? Why am I so uncomfortable with all of this?

“Look kid. I understand you want to know everything, I do. But how did you get here? How did you find me? How did you even know I was your… you know ” I ask, because honestly how does a 17 year old kid get through all my security and half a fucking desert too.

“I was hoping you would ask that.” Delilah says, clapping her hands together.

“So basically I’ve always wondered who my ‘birth giver’ was. None of my friends in school knew I was adopted and there was this one time when we were all in the cafeteria at lunch. There was a breaking news story on all of the TVs about the most successful heist in history and people were shocked because the leader of the gang who pulled it off was a woman. Not just anyone, but a ‘beautiful’ woman who had the face of an angel but the heart of a devil.” Delilah says.

“Sounds familiar. Carry on.” I smirk.

“So my friends and I start to pay attention, cause we are like ‘wow, who is this chick, she sounds badass’, right? And then next thing I know, they show your wanted posted and my insides froze and I’m like ‘holy shit, that lady looks a lot like me’ and I think I’m crazy, but my friend Casey is like ‘Oh my god Delilah, is that like your evil aunt or something? Were you adopted?’ And we all laughed but inside I was freaking the fuck out.” Delilah continues.

“Understandable.” I agree.

“I go home and my parents are acting kind of odd, but everyone has their bad days right? I try to forget about it, but then I remember them telling me when I was younger that my birth giver had a troubled life and that they didn’t want to bring an innocent life into that.” Delilah says, looking at me questioningly.

“That’s kind of true I guess.” I say with a shrug.

“Right! So I forget about it for a while, I start to move on and then we get a surprise visit from B.O.B.” Delilah says smiling at B.O.B, who gives her a happy ‘that’s me!’ wave.

“I was so happy to see him again. I’ve loved him since I was a kid. This time I noticed he had a symbol on his body that I recognized… and I couldn’t work out where. But then I realized it was the symbol from that gang that that me lookalike was in. A crazy coincidence right?” Delilah asks.

“Ain’t it just?” I reply.

“I’m not proud of this next part, but here goes. I ask B.O.B if he would be okay with me looking into his gear so I could see how he works, because I’m super interested in engineering. He was more than happy to take part. But what I really wanted to do was scan through his memories and see if I could catch a glimpse of you. It worked. I was able to search through a folder with my name on it, I clicked on the very first file and I saw you, shortly after you had given birth to me. You said ‘it’s okay B.O.B, don’t cry, I’ll let you stay in contact with her if you really want’’ and cause it was from B.O.B’s point of view, he looked down and I saw he was cradling me as a newborn.” Delilah smiles sadly. “I’m sorry for hacking and violating you, B.O.B.”

B.O.B tilts his head to the side, studying Delilah’s face and then shrugs. He’s loved that kid since the day she was born, I doubt she could do anything to upset him. Hell, if he’s put up with half the shit that I’ve put him through, then I’m sure he’s very happy with her indeed.

“Damn kid, that’s kind of wild. I’m sorry you had to find out that way. Honestly I was hoping that you never would. I didn’t want to be another disappointment to someone.” I tell her honestly.

“Disappointment? This is the most badass thing to ever happen in my life. It’s awesome!” Delilah laughs.

“Delilah. You seem like a smart kid. I hope you realize this isn’t going to be a super happy ending where I cry and tell you I’ve loved you all along. Cause the harsh truth is I’ve never really loved anyone. I don’t know how to.” I admit.

Even with Amélie, I don’t ever really tell her I love her. It’s just not me.

I expect to see a frown or maybe even a look of anger or betrayal on Delilah’s face but I’m a little shocked when I see a small smile.

“I’ve known that for a long time. The fact that I never had any letters or contact from you kind of made that clear. I just want to know my backstory. Like, if you never loved me, why didn’t you just get rid of me?” Delilah asks, twiddling her thumbs.

“I hardly even know that myself, kid.” I sigh.

And it’s true.

Getting knocked up and going through with the pregnancy was the most ‘unlike-me’ thing I’ve ever done in my life. I’ve spent half of my life trying to forget it.

“I guess it’s because I wanted to see how my life could have been if I was actually loved as a kid. By people who actually wanted a family, people who were actually there for you.” I admit. “It’s all kind of selfish really. I didn’t even stick around to see if you were happy in the end. You are, right?”

“As happy as someone who was adopted could be, I guess! My parents really do love me. I couldn’t ask for anyone better. They totally supported me coming here. I didn’t tell them how dangerous it was of course but they were actually happy for me.” Delilah says.

“That’s good to hear I guess.” I say. “So, what next? I’ll be as honest as I can.”

I’m pretty sure I know what she’s going to say. It’s still a sore subject for me but I don’t really care anymore.

“Who was my dad? What was he like? If he’s who I think he is, why isn’t he around anymore?” Delilah asks, confirming my suspicions were correct.

“Gee, kid. Might as well get the nail out of the coffin.” I groan. “Jesse McCree… god that man really knew how to get under my skin. He betrayed us all in the end, so naturally he’s on my kill list.” I say and Delilah laughs, thinking I’m joking. 

“We met when we were both teenagers. We had a love hate type of relationship. He was the first human to ever show me genuine affection that wasn’t based on fear. We were invincible. A stunt had never gone wrong for us. We were sought after by everyone - enemies, the law force, criminals who wanted us to join them, the lot. Our egos had never been bigger.” I say.

“Sounds fun.” Delilah comments and I nod my head.

“It was. We did so many wild things. I miss the impulsiveness of it all, really. Eventually I found out I was knocked up. Deep down I knew Jesse would have been happy, but that just wasn’t our life. I left the gang for a year, telling them I was travelling with B.O.B to get him an upgrade that would make him invincible. They believed me and I was so relieved.” I admit.

“I traveled to the east coast, as far away from our base as I could go. I think I ended up in New York. I had been looking around online for families looking for kids. Some I was skeptical about, but then I saw a posting by your parents. A teacher and a dentist who couldn’t conceive naturally. They had mentioned that they would give all of their savings to whoever would give them a child. Eventually I met them and I actually really liked them, which said a lot considering how much I hate people in general. They gave me my space, let me stay with them for a while and even offered me to stay after the kid was born. I left as soon as I could though.”

B.O.B walks over with our lunch and gives Delilah a milkshake to go with it. He brings me a jack and coke and I nod my head as a thanks.

“Thanks, B.O.B, you’re the best.” Delilah says, happily tucking into her food.

“All the way up until I gave birth, I wondered if I’d change the way I felt about the baby growing inside me. Like I said, I had never grown up with affection, praise or even the slightest bit of human attention. My parents were never home and B.O.B is the closest thing to a parent I ever had. Don’t get me wrong. When you were born, I was happy you were healthy, but honestly I just wanted to get you to your family and leave. I was never meant to be a mother. It’s nothing I’ve ever dreamed or thought about. Even now and I’m almost 40. So I’m sorry about that, I guess.” I admit avoiding eye contact with Delilah again.

Delilah has a mouth full of food, so I take advantage of her silence by continuing on with my story.

“Back to your dad - McCree. Honestly he wasn’t a bad guy. Don’t get me wrong, he betrayed us and he’s going to pay hell for that. But Jesse McCree was a better person than I ever will be. And it fucking kills me to say that.” I say, hating myself for even mentioning it.

“Does he know about me?” Delilah asks.

“Yes. He always had his suspicions and could tell something happened during that year I was away. He found out during a fight. I couldn’t take the guilt of keeping it quiet anymore. He cried when he found out and he was pissed off he didn’t get a say, but he knew it wouldn’t change anything. He knew we weren’t supposed to be together, never mind be parents. He wanted to meet you and I forbid him until you, if ever, made an attempt to contact us. I didn’t even know if you were still in New York or not, because I told your parents to use those savings to move out of the country. I knew my past could come back to haunt me and I didn’t want an innocent kid to get hurt because of me. Whether they moved or not, I don’t know.” I say, shrugging my shoulders.

“They did. We lived in England for 3 years but then moved back to New York before I started school. They loved the city too much.” Delilah explains.

“It’s better if no one ever knows about you. You’d be targeted and they’d go for your parents too. Does anyone else know about us?” I ask.

“Other than my parents? No. But I’m pretty sure your gang knows too. That guy earlier seems to have worked it out.” Delilah says.

“I’m just going to tell him he had a bad trip. And to never talk about this again. He might be dumb but he’s not dumb enough to blab about my personal life. None of my gang are.” I say.

“Wow, you’re such a good role model.” Delilah smirks sarcastically and I’m reminded of myself as a rude teenager.

“Well you definitely got my sass, kid. God your sperm donor would kill to see that.” I say, downing my final shot of the night.

“Gross. Don’t say it like that.” Delilah says.

“Well it’s true. That’s all he is to me. And even that is saying too much. When you’re older you’ll learn that men are more trouble than they are worth.” I warn Delilah.

“Thanks for the heads up. Luckily all I’m focusing on right now, apart from finding out about you, is school work right now. I have chance of getting accepted into Harvard and I want to take that chance.” Delilah says, stretching and cracking her fingers.

“Shit, Harvard, really? God my parents would have loved you.” I say, slightly impressed with how bright Delilah is.

“Yeah. Do you think if I tell them my birth giver is the most wanted female in the continent, they’ll give me a scholarship out of fear?” Delilah jokes and laughter escapes my lips, making me spill my beer.

“Shit kid, that could work. It would be the least I could do for ya.” I say, smiling and shaking my head.

“Nah, I’m totally kidding. I don’t want people to know about us anyway. I don’t want anything to happen to my parents.” Delilah says and I feel slightly bad about scaring her, but it’s better for her to know the truth.

“Good choice kid, good choice.” I sigh. “Look hun, it’s too dangerous for you to stay here long, but you can stay the night if you want. Have you ever shot a gun before?”

“A gun? Hell no.” Delilah says, looking confused.

“Yeah, a gun. Tell you what. How about this… you stay here for a night, tomorrow I teach ya how to shoot and then B.O.B will take you home after we are done.” I say.

“That actually sounds perfect.” Delilah smiles.

“And uh… look kid. If you wanna stay in contact and you want to meet your sperm donor, it’s best if all of our contact is done through B.O.B. We are less likely to be tracked that way.” I say.

“That would really mean a lot. Thank you.” Delilah says happily.

BREAK

It’s 15 minutes past midnight by the time I make it to my room. Man, my head fucking aches. What a day. I’m about to take off my clothes for the night when I hear a familiar tap on my window.

“Hey.” I smile sadly as I pull the window open for Amélie. “You could have come through the front door.”

“I didn’t want to make things weird for your daughter.” Amélie says.

“How did you know?” I ask.

“Because, mon Chérie, I am not an idiot and she is beautiful just like you.” Amélie says, straddling me as she pushes me into the bed.

“You don’t have to tell me everything now. Is she staying? Is she okay?” Amélie asks and I’m just so glad she’s not mad at me for never telling her about this.

“Thank you for not hating me for keeping this quiet. Honestly I  never thought I’d actually meet her and I was okay with that. But meeting her has been… surreal. I don’t like kids and never have. But she’s a teenager and so mature. I can’t explain it. I see so much of me in her. She’s becoming everything I dreamed of being as a kid.” I admit. “She’s staying for a little tomorrow. I’m gonna teach her how to shoot and then she’s leaving. B.O.B is going to go with her.”

“Whats her name?” Amélie asks, stroking my lip with her thumb.

“Delilah. I didn’t name her though. This is the first time I’ve seen her since the day she was born.” I say, pulling Amelie’s hand away to trail kisses up her arm.

“Pretty name for a pretty girl. Are you going to miss her?” Amélie asks, eyebrow raised as she studies my face.

“Honestly? I don’t think so. If anything it makes me hate my parents even more for never allowing me to experience love as a kid. It makes me mad that I never got to love or care for her. But she does have a family who loves her plenty so that makes me feel better. And I doubt I would have ever met you if my family actually cared, so I guess all that neglect was worthwhile.” I say, laying back on the bed, pulling Amélie with me.

“I’m glad you’re dealing with it all so well. I was worried earlier.” Amélie said, taking off my tie and unbuttoning my shirt.

“Now worrying about me is something you never need to do, darlin’. I can take care of myself, believe it or not.” I tease.

“I know, I know. It’s just that I had never seen you look scared or worried before. It didn’t feel right.” Amélie says.

“I wasn’t scared. I was nervous.” I say, avoiding eye contact again.

“Same thing.” Amélie says, pulling my face to meet hers, leaving small kisses along my jawline.

“Whatever.” I roll my eyes. “What do you say we start where we got up to earlier? We just have to be quiet tonight.”

“I like that idea very much.”