#'fuck' may be a little too much considering I wouldn't touch anyone with a stick

[longagoitwastuesday]

Against my better judgement I have to admit this time I do want to fuck the fictional man

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #161

What’s the worst side effect you’ve had from a medication? In middle school, a medicine I'd started for either depression or bipolar symptoms resulted in me becoming a literal fucking demon around the time school would end; I'd go into school on cloud nine, hyper and happy as hell, but I was a kid my mom didn't even recognize when she'd pick me up around 3-ish, and for absolutely no reason. I was just insanely aggressive, snappy, permanently scowling, and all-around unpleasant. I did nooooot stay on the med long.

What has been the most effective medication you’ve taken, & what was it for? Latuda with Lamictal as a catalyst. It wasn't until I started this combination that I started to feel life in me after the breakup, and I absolutely consider it to have played a deep part in helping me climb out of my depression pit. That's when I really started to improve. I only ever stopped it because I guess my body got too used to it, because I stopped responding to it.

Do you keep your health issues private, or are you open about them? I'm pretty open about this stuff.

Do you have a service dog? No.

Do you know if you can have kids or not? I would assume so, I have a regular menstrual cycle and I've definitely gotten cramping around the times I should've been ovulating too, so.

What’s one med that has made you gain weight? Abilify, which I will fucking never touch again. It entirely murdered my metabolism and is one of the root causes of my initial extreme weight gain.

Have you ever felt unsafe in a hospital? Sure have, primarily the last time I was there waiting to go to the psych hospital and there was a very unstable man basically stuck there because no nearby hospitals would take him or something like that. He had to be regularly sedated. Even more than this case, while at the psych hospital last, I KNOW I've talked plenty about the man that was pure rapist material in there that would cross over onto the women's wing (the doors are supposed to stay locked, by the way) and literally roam down our hall peeking into the rooms like a total fucking predator, he was terrifying. He would heavily flirt with various women and was just fucking appalling, I can barely believe he was allowed in this section of the hospital, and the staff was so shit at ACTUALLY grabbing this man and MAKING him go back to the men's side, they'd just call to him but ultimately do nothing. I hate that hospital so motherfucking much, I can't believe it's still standing.

As a child, did you ever watch any shows on TV that were maybe too grown-up or a little inappropriate? Not in general, however I was totally obsessed with Jurassic Park 3, like I watched the movie SO many times, and the levels of gore may definitely be considered a lot for a young kid, but I handled it fine and it never made me really upset to see, plus my parents knew how much I fuckin' loved dinos, so they allowed it. I do wonder how I first saw it though, haha.

Do you remember how old you were, when you first began to use swearwords? Not the exact age, but I DO know I was definitely in 7th grade, however old I was then.

Are there any foods or beverages that you loved as a child but wouldn't touch as an adult? Uh maybe. I know as a baby I liked peas according to Mom, which I hate now and have for as long as I can remember.

Does anyone in your life use terms of endearment a lot when talking to you? Girt most of all, but also my mom, Girt's mom, I feel like Dad still does sometimes, and occasionally Mazzy and I think Tez will too.

Is there anyone that you communicate with daily, but not in person? Yes, Girt.

Have you discovered any new bands or singers lately, that you're into? No, it's pretty rare I do that, I'm one of those people that tends to stick to what I know, even if I do tend to enjoy new stuff when I chase it.

Have you ever carved a pumpkin before? How about roasting the pumpkin seeds? Yes, I REALLY want to get back into carving pumpkins this year! I've never roasted pumpkin seeds, however; I don't like pumpkins in any way as food.

Do you/have you ever played basketball? Yes, as a kid; besides dance, it's the sport I had the most fun with.

Have you ever owned a pet goldfish before? Only as a child and FAR from properly, I'm talking about those poor fellas you win at fairs and stuff.

Have you ever had a kidney stone before? No, and god I hope I never do, I know people say it's one of the most miserable experiences imaginable. My own mother has had them and she said recently in a relevant convo that she'd rather give birth to triplets than ever experience this again.

Do you like orange soda or orange juice? I like both, yes, ESPECIALLY orange cream soda!! That always takes me back to being a kid and hanging out at my neighbor's place; they tended to keep some brand of it. Man, I'd love to have one of those again.

Have you ever had orange chicken before? How was it? Yes, I don't like it. I generally dislike meat that has a sweetness to it, it doesn't sit right in my mouth.

Do you know how to say “orange” in another language? Haha I guess kinda, it's spelled the same in German, just obviously not pronounced the same. I actually googled it to ensure I was saying it right AND NOPE lmfao man it's been too long

Are your eyebrows thick? I think they look pretty average.

Do you have fat lips? No, another thing that looks pretty average to me, I've never heard a comment about their size.

How big are your hands? Normal in scale, but I do have long and narrow fingers; my hands in general are pretty slim and flowy, I've always been able to like, slide security bracelets from various places off whenever everyone else would need to like cut theirs off.

What is your idea of getting dressed up for oh say… a romantic dinner? I don't really have truly "fancy" attire, so I guess the only real difference would be me getting a shirt from my closet instead of dresser (I keep "fancier" stuff hung up in there versus folded and buried), and I'd likely put a necklace on. Maybe a little bit of perfume, dunno.

What kind of car(s) is parked in your driveway? It's some very old white Kia.

When is the last time you had ice cream? Sunday actually, at Girt's.

Are you white/black/Asian/Mexican/etc? I'm very white lol.

Ever known anyone who did business with a prostitute? Maybe, but I don't know about it.

Are your real parents divorced? If your parents are divorced, how old are your step-parents? Do you like your step-parents, or are they assholes? They're divorced as fuck/I can barely believe they were ever married, and only my dad has re-married since, and his wife is a year or two younger than him. She has asshole beliefs, being aggressively religious and a total bigot about it, but she's also always been good to my sisters and me, and Dad too.

[TW: DOMESTIC ABUSE] Ever had an abusive parent or other family member? If so, what’s the worst they did? Not in my immediate family, no, but I know I have one aunt that we're all pretty sure has been an emotionally abusive parent.

Got any step siblings? If so, how many? Are they annoying or cool? Kim (Dad's aforementioned wife) has one adult son, I think his name's Michael, but I reeeaaally don't know him well at all; he's quiet and very reclusive. Last I knew he still lived with them, but seeing as he has a baby coming now apparently, I have no idea what he's up to, where he's at, anything. I don't even consider him my brother whatsoever with how unfamiliar I am with him.

Are either of your parents engaged but not married yet? No, my mother hasn't even had an s/o following the divorce, which breaks my heart a fucking lot. I worry a lot for when I move out. No partner has ever loved her in a way she actually deserves and it's really upsetting.

Ever had to take care of a baby sibling? If do, did you feel responsible, or were you just annoyed? No, I was only barely two when Nicole was born, so I wasn't taking care of anybody lol.

Have you ever had a close friend get knocked up early? No.

Do you prefer baby boys or baby girls? Girls, I suppose. I know if *I* had a kid I'd absolutely want a girl over a boy for multiple reasons, but when it comes to just kids in general, it doesn't matter much.

Are you one of those losers that buy things with the letter of your name? Lol that's mean, but no, I was never into that.

What’s the highest up you’ve ever been? Uh I actually don't know. Either on an amusement park ride or just in a building.

Do you prefer to be outside or inside? I get more pleasure and peace being outside in weather I can tolerate well, but I'm more often comfortable inside because of AC.

Have you ever planted something? Yeah, a few times.

Do you believe in mermaids? No.

Do you like to be outside in the rain? No, I really hate the feeling of my clothes getting wet.

Does it snow where you live? Rarely; not even every year, and having a good snow that actually stays on the ground for a while is rarer. More than anything, we get mixed condensation, so all the rain just makes it melt.

What’s your favourite thing to do in the winter? Photograph snowy scenery.

What’s your favourite carnival ride? Of the general ones you can think of, probably the ferris wheel, even though I have bittersweet associations with it.

What’s your highest level of education? Some college.

What do you do for work? Sigh I still don't do anything, but I promise you I'm still looking very regularly on job-hunting websites. I know I'm being picky with it, but I have to be; I can't get a fourth job that's only gonna last three fuckin' days, I can't do that shit again, because I genuinely don't think I'll emotionally build up the courage to job hunt again and risk humiliating myself once more. I'll find something, eventually. In the meantime I'm still taking pictures...

How many countries have you been to? I've never left the USA. :/ One day I fucking will, I've got to man, I've got one visit on Earth that I know about and I wanna explore it, I can't only stay on the east coast of this crappy country my whole life.

What’s on your top five to travel to next list? It depends. I feel like my honeymoon is going to be my first real travel destination, which would be amazing if it could be somewhere in Alaska to see the Northern Lights well or Venice, Italy. Germany is a goal one day, but my #1 goal overall is South Africa one day to visit the Kalahari Meerkat Project. I'd also love to visit Ireland.

Do you like board games? I don't really, but I can enjoy them with other people every now and again.

Card games? I've found that I enjoy the sorts like Magic: The Gathering.

Are you afraid of cats? No, not at all.

Have you ever punched someone? No.

Apples or bananas? Apples.

Punk or metal? Metal, but like the last question, I enjoy both.

What’s your favorite flavor of soda, pop, or whatever else you call it? Usually strawberry.

What level of brightness do you usually keep your phone at? So during the day I keep it between 60-70%, I kinda just click that general area, but during the night, I turn it all the way to 0% so I don't burn my eyes out if I check the time during the night.

What time do you usually have dinner? It's usually somewhere 'round 5:30-6:00.

Do you need glasses to read or drive or need them all the time? I wear them all the time, except for obviously when I sleep.

What’s the best amusement park you’ve ever visited? I'm sure it's Disney World, I went as a very young kid, but my memories of it are faint. I know I had a blast, though.

Have you ever had a romantic fling? No, flings are not for me.

Are you a very forgetful person? Yes, my memory (particularly short-term) is just pure appalling for a 27-year-old, like I struggle SO BADLY to internalize information, whether it's important or not.

Are you in love? For sure.

Dream job? Successful wildlife/landscape/general nature photographer.

Are you an affectionate person? Yes, extremely.

You’re traveling the entire world but you can only take one person with you. Who do you take? I'd have to see what Girt thinks about this; I'd want him, but he's a major homebody and actually doesn't really like traveling, so the WHOLE world? I'm sure he'd get tired of it pretty fast. If he didn't want to come, I'd be very apprehensive about separating from him for so long anyway, but for the sake of the question I'd go with Mom, she'd fuckin love it.

[rainydaysandhappydays]

Basic creepypasta headcannons

(A/N: I am still new to the cp sphere. So feel free to drop by and tell me some things I don't know. I'll be happy to see what the community thinks!)

(2nd A/N: I know I'm spelling Maskey's name "wrong" but I've spelt it that way for years when I first heard about CPs when I was a kid. I'm not changing it now. So from now on Maskey has an e in his name.)

Basic Appearance

SlenderMan is 14'9" (~454 cm) and looks to be what can equate a real life stick figure. Just pull a normal stick figure out like taffy and you'll get Slender. He does actually have a mouth but he always has it hidden. For the simple fact that it's 1 terrifying as FUCK. And 2 because it actually kinda hurts a little having it open. As he has to tear open his face skin to open his mouth at all. And even worse is that his mouth is the size of, like, half his head. He could easily chomp a small child in half with how large his mouth is.

Laughing Jack is 9'6" (~292 cm) and is lanky af, but not nearly as much so as Slender. His arms are ridiculously long. And his nails are several inches long as well. (Think Edward Scissor Finger type hands) So if he stood completely upright with his arms by his sides, he would be nearly touching the floor with his nails. That's how long he is. (Don't worry tho. He can easily cut them to be a far more manageable length. They just grow ridiculously quickly so he will have to keep an eye on that if he ever gets into any sort of relationship where he's not harming the other.)

Eyeless Jack is 7'5" (228 cm) and is Large. Like buff, wide, and thiccc. Boi looks like he could body a car and win. Though he hides most of it under his baggy af clothes and his surprisingly bad posture.

Brian/Hoodie is 6'3". (192 cm) Compared to Tim he is on the thinner side, but still has plenty of muscles. He may seem a bit lanky at first but don't let his baggy hoodie fool you. He can still deck the halls better than any Christmas song. If you ever manage to see him without his iconic hoodie on, be prepared to see his fantastically sculpted arms. They aren't super thick or beefy, but they are dense and hard. With a few veins along them.

Tim/Maskey is 6'0", (182 cm) DILF. Straight out. Has a small belly, but it looks tasteful on his bodytype. He looks like he could pick up damn near anyone for one of the best hugs ever. Too bad he's too much of an ass to use that blessing often.

Puppeteer is also 6'0". (182 cm) He honestly looks similar to those nerds in movies. Not the ones with brick thick glasses, but the ones that look frail and thin with an odd hunch in thier backs. Yeah, he's like that. Though in what can be considered a compromise for his weak looking built, he is ridiculously flexible. He doesn't use the ability all that often, be he could rival some contortions out there.

Toby is 5'11" (181 cm) and almost looks smaller than he is. If you saw him at a distance you would probably think he was just a regular kid running about. But as soon as you see him up close he looks like a full grown German Shepard. Big, tough, and ready to snap someone in half if deemed necessary. He acts like one too, with his constant need for attention, affection, and touch. He really is a hell of a puppy.

Helen/Bloody Painter is 5'10". (180 cm) The only reason why he's so tall is because his body just wouldn't stop growing when he was a teen. The rest of him is thin and gangly. He looks to be slightly malnourished and has intense bags under his eyes. Looks damn near ready to die at any moment in time. Especially since he is naturally very stoic. (Don't let that fool you into thinking he doesn't have the emotions he just shows them in extremely subtle ways that you have to learn to understand at all.)

Jeff is 5'9" (179 cm) with the body of a swimmer. Which is odd because he doesn't swim all that often. But he does run a hell of a lot and swing his knife around even more. So he has long and hard muscles coating his entire body. He is constantly bragging that he looks better and more durable than some of the other creeps.

Basic world

The proxies can only read the minds of people that also have the mark of SlenderMan on them. Maskey's mark is on the back of the neck near the base of his skull. Hoodie's mark is on his sternum near his diaphragm. The solar plexus area. Toby's is on his spine on his lower back. Kate's is in the space between her collar bones. The mark is mostly small enough that it's not immediately noticeable, but it is still very much there and can never be hidden or removed. Like with makeup or tattoo removal surgery or anything like that. The marks are permanent. Even after death.

When Hoodie fell out of the window, he didn't actually die. He got so close that he could feel his heart beat it's last few beats before he came back. Not fully as an undead but more of someone that didn't die when they were supposed to. Sort of like those stories of people being recursitated after an extremely traumatic experience. However that gave him extreme trauma over death and the feeling of dying. He will do whatever it takes to never feel that experience again. He has night terrors about it sometimes and the only one that is ever able to calm him down after one is Maskey/Tim.

The story I'm using for EJ is that he was pulled into the cult when he was in collage and unfortunately was thought to be "the chosen one" bc he was really good at p much everything he tried. So all of his friends he made betrayed him and tied him down to an alter. Proceeded to scoop out his eyes with a burning rod, and then tear his torso open to eat his organs. And that's why his eyes now after his transformation are always leaking a hot viscous black fluid. It's the forever remains of his original eyes. Also why he can only eat human organs and nothing else. Another harsh reminder of what he went through. He was only 23 at the time.

[literary-spirit]

"I'm sorry we couldn't offer you little more comfort while residing with us." Genuineness threaded itself through Torvi words as she watched while Bonnie settled herself behind Hali underneath the furs of unknown heritage.

A gratitude inspired smile made a conquest of Bonnie's lips. "No need for apologies, Torvi. Fact is, I'm grateful that you've allowed me somewhere safe to lay my head. Especially with everything being so new and unfamiliar."

Truth be sold rather than told, Bonnie didn't understand one damn thing about her predicament. One moment she lay bleeding out in her fiancé's arms in 21st century New Orleans, and the next she lay sprawled on Bjorn's ship during the freaking Viking Era. After some thought she'd begun to believe herself to be on the other side she'd created for Enzo, but there was a few sizable holes in that working theory. One, Enzo didn't hail from the ninth century so why would she tailor the world he'd spend his afterlife in after it? Two, she'd had the displeasure of being dead stranded on the other side a time or two and neither time did the imitation of life after death explode with a passion that could only be rivaled by reality.

No, Bjorn, Ivar, and Kattegat was real. It was all real! But on everything and everyone she loved she couldn't understand why. What did her giving up her mortality to become the immortal witch and finally embrace the prophecy have to do with this particular place in time?

"Bonsie?" The dulcet cadence of Guthrum's voice snatched her away from her thoughts. "Can you tell us a saga about your land?"

He and Hali stared up at her. The gleam of excitement tinkled bright in both of their eyes. She faked a sigh and played at reluctance with a roll of the eyes, all the while a smile twitched at the corners of her mouth for freedom. "Are you sure? Because you and Hali look really tired," she began tickling Hali who squealed and squirmed to get away, "And I don't wanna start one of my dull stories only to bore you both to sleep."

"Please!" They both squeaked in unison. "You have our vow we won't slumber before the end of your tale. Right Hali?" The blonde cherub face child with eyes just like his father nodded.

"Alright, but the vow I want from you is, that if slumber comes for you or Hali while I'm telling you the story you won't fight it," she said, her gaze moving from one boy to the other. "That's the only way I'm going to speak of this saga. I won't waste words on tired ears."

The boys stared at each other for a moment, before Guthrum looked back at her, "If our slumber takes us before the conclusion, will you continue when we rise?"

"Maybe not when we rise. You know, because we'll have to break our fast and I'm sure there'll be chores needing to be done-"

"There will definitely be chores needing to be done," Torvi confirmed as she watched from the bed.

Bonnie shrugged, tapping her chin while staring up at the ceiling of the keep. Her eyes flared as if the proverbial light bulb had erupted into a thousand ideas, "I know! If you fall asleep before the saga is finished, then I'll continue it tomorrow before we go to bed."

Guthrum looked to Hali, who nodded his head, "You have our vow, Bonsie."

"Okay," she held up her pinky. They stared at her finger for a moment then gawked at her as if she'd open a third eye on her forehead, "Well if you're giving me your vow boys, I'ma need a pinky swear to consummate your sworn oath."

"How do you perform such a ritual?" Guthrum asked, cuddling in closer.

"Hold up your little finger just like this." She wiggled her pinky. Once Guthrum and Hali raised their fingers, she entwined both of her pinkies with theirs, tugged and pulled away. "And just like that we have consummated our oath with a pinky swear."

"So, what of the saga?" Guthrum questioned.

"It's a story that takes place in a land where my ancestors once thrived. A continent called Africa," she began, "There a wise lion king was blessed with a cub who too would one day be king of everything the light touched in that land."

For the next thirty minutes or so Bonnie retold the story of the Lion King. By the time she reached the part about Scar throwing Mufasa off the cliff into the surge of stampeding antelope she noticed the boys had fallen asleep. Lowering her voice, she allowed her words to trail off, to avoid awakening the kids.

"Ack! Why'd you stop?!" Bjorn snapped. "Did Mufasa find a way to save himself so that he could exact revenge over his treacherous brother?"

"And what of poor Simba?" Torvi grilled, "What will become of him now?"

Bonnie's brows collided. She hadn't realized that they had even gave her a benefit of an ear let alone hung on to every word of the story. "I'm sorry, I didn't think you guys were paying attention."

"Why wouldn't we attend you, Bonnie?" Bjorn shot her one more unit before settling back on the bed to stare at the ceiling. "Are we not sharing the same space?"

"Bjorn," Torvi lightly scolded, cuddling down next to him.

"It's okay, Torvi," she said, rolling away to face the wall, "Bjorn's right. I'm wrong for not considering you both may wanna hear the ending of the story, but even if I wanted to finish it my sacred oath with the boys wouldn't allow me to continue until next eve. So, have a good night's rest and I'll see you both in the morning."

Bonnie allowed her eyes to close and not much later she dosed until squeaks, moans, and grunts ripped her from the verge of a deep sleep. Confused about why the hell she was on the floor instead of in Klaus' Californian King, her eyes darted around and then finally collided with a folded up Torvi getting piled drove by Bjorn.

When Torvi noticed her watching, she blushed and attempted to stifle another moan, "Apologies, Bonnie. We didn't mean to wake you with our coupling."

"It's fine," she said, not knowing what the hell else to say. It's not like she could go in about them banging one out in their own keep. Bjorn's lava hot blues bore into her, while he began to grind slow circles into Torvi. Bonnie attempted to clear her throat, but only managed a super dehydrated cough, "P-please c-continue—I-I mean if that's what you both wanna do. Not that I'm gonna keep watching or anything."

"Would you like to join us?" Torvi offered between gasps and moans. "Bjorn's vigor is insatiable. He would have no issues pleasuring you as well."

"T-That's not necessary!" Bonnie flopped back over on her side to face away from them, "You two enjoy, I'm good." She squeezed her eyes closed and tried to ignore the snickers coming from the bed as she willed herself to go back to sleep.

****

After daggmal what Bjorn called breakfast, Sigurd offered to be her guide while she explored the forest. They spent almost half the day trekking through the woods gathering recipes she would need for hygienic purposes and basic spells. For the first half of their outing, Sigurd merely helped and watched her without saying anything. When she'd had enough of him side-eying the hell out of her she spun on him without warning and he almost ran her down.

"What's wrong with you? Why do you keep watching me like I'm gonna turn you into horse shit or something?" She snapped.

His eyes flared, and he took a step back. "Can you?"

"Sigurd!" Bonnie stared at him for a moment like he'd left his mind back at Kattegat, before whirling around to continue her descend down to the cove. "Why did you come if you're so scared of me?" She tossed over her shoulder.

"Because I think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and I was hoping to plow you," he replied, following behind her.

"Men," she mumbled to herself. Then she raised her voice loud enough for him to hear. "So, I guess Ivar's telling anyone who will listen I'm a witch, huh?"

"Ivar?" He questioned as if he didn't know how one thing had to do with the other. "No, what's he to do with anything? It's Margrethe."

Bonnie stopped once more to turn and look up at him. "Margrethe? You mean the poor servant girl you all pass around like a waste bucket?"

"We don't pass her around and she says when you appeared out of air the gods let their displeasure be known by sending a storm to upset the sea," he walked closer, plucked the basket from her hands, intertwined their arms and guided her towards the cove. "She also said that the storm only went away when she mentioned throwing you over."

"You do understand Margrethe is madder than a bag of cats tossed in a barrel of water, right? Anything that comes out of her mouth is nothing more than rantings of the certifiable," she said, filing Margrethe away for a later day's problem.

Sigurd laughed. "Your turn of phrases are cutting. I've noticed that you wield your words the way Hvitserk swings an ax."

"Runs in the family," she said, distracted by the splashing she heard coming from the cove. "Shh," she stopped, halting Sigurd along with her, "someone's down there."

Stunned disbelief flared his eyes and dropped his jaw, "Really? Well, we should go-,"

"Yeah," her head bobbed in utter agreement, more than ready to turn around, "we should."

"And cut down the trespassers!" He finished.

"Wait, what?"

Without even a notion of a warning, he scooped her up, tossed her over his shoulder, and ran down the rest of the way to the cove. Once they cleared the woods and stepped into the enclosure of the inlet, he strode into the water with her. She caught an upside-down glimpse of Ivar sitting on the bank, while Ubbe and Hvitserk chased each other around in the water with long skinny sticks.

"Brother, what took you so long?" Hvitserk snickered as he bent sideways to stare her in the face.

Sigurd smacked her on the bottom. "This one wanted to pick every smelly flower in the forest."

"Sigurd, take me back on dry land," she said, pounding him in the middle of his back with her fists, "So help me, if you fuck around and drop me in this water and my hair gets wet, it's gonna be hell to tell the captain. And just in case you haven't figured it out I'm the motherfucking captain!"

"What's she going on about?" Ivar called from the bank.

Sigurd laughed, "She wants to swim."

Then he tossed her into the biting chill of the water. She emerged sputtering water and spitting mad. Their laughter only served to piss her off more. Hatemakers shot from her eyes like hollow points leaving the barrel of a glock. When she finally had Sigurd locked and loaded in her sights, she treaded water like she had an engine shoved up her crack and Bobby Boucher'ed his ass so hard he hurtled through the air. He smacked the water harder than Angela did Marcus, and he went under. Now it was her turn to laugh and do the fool she did. Ubbe and Hvitserk gawked at her as if she'd sprouted wings and a tail.

Sigurd clawed his way back to the surface gasping and coughing. "Who in the name of Odin taught you how to swim, Thor?"

The sound of laughter and clapping floated from the bank. Bonnie turned to see Ivar's incandescent methane orbs flashing hella bright. Yet somehow the brilliance of his smile rivaled even the bewitching dazzle of his eyes. He'd baited and hooked her without even casting the lure. Now the unexplainable pull between them would reel her in. Pushing the mass of dripping curls from her face, she began to walk toward the shore.

"Where do you think you're going?" Hvitserk whispered next to her ear, before scooping her off her feet, "You've a lesson to learn."

"Oh, Hvitserk, you just better bring it!" She yelled as she bucked and squirmed in his grasp, "That goes for your sisters too."

With that said he dunked her in the water, when she reemerged Ubbe had a hold of her, "Many apologies, my lady. You were saying?" He questioned, regarding her with eyes the same shade as a cloudless sky.

She gave him a closed lip smile, and then slapped her cheeks, allowing all of the water in her mouth to spray him in the face. When he released her, she dove under the surface, grabbed him by the ankles and snatched him off his feet, literally. Then she went after Hvitserk next. Anticipating an attack, he and Sigurd took on a defense stance. So, they planned to make this a joint effort. She gave herself a mental nod, noted. Tired of playing around, she hiked her skirts up just beneath the curve of her ass and knotted it high on her hip. Sigurd and Hvitserk exchanged a smirk. Not wasting a second she struck. First, she climbed, and then wrapped herself around Sigurd. In a maneuver reminiscent of the Black Widow, she used his body weight and gravity against him. Once more he soared through the air.

She turned to Hvitserk and he gave her the smile which let her know he thirst for blood and the rush. Yep, she'd saved the most savage for last. Leaping on him, she wrapped her legs around his waist. He automatically grabbed a fist full of ass. Sexual lust overpowered his blood lust. Big mistake. She snapped backwards in a back bend, the memento snatched him off his feet and he went free falling face first into some rather high-quality H2O.

While the brothers attempted to figure out which step led to their downfall, Bonnie left the water to find Bjorn standing on the bank. His look of indifference remained true to the inner workings of his mind.

"You move well," he said as he reached down to place one hand on a bare hip and the other on the knot that secured her skirt. In a swift tug he released the drenched material. "I've never seen anyone fight that way or toss about men twice their size."

A memory of Bjorn giving Torvi the business end of some serious wood flashed at the forefront of Bonnie's mind. Unable to maintain eye contact, she dropped her gaze to the ground, "It's nothing. We were just messing around; I'd hoped to learn how to manage one of their sticks." Ivar snickered and that's when she realized how it sounded. "You know...for fishing." She added to be Visine clear.

"If you're to learn to manage anyone's stick, it'll be mine," Bjorn stepped closer and crowded her personal space.

The heat which came off of him reminded her of the predicament she now found herself. She was drenched and it had to be every bit of fifty-eight degrees out and dropping. The boys came trudging out the water behind her.

Ubbe walked up on her until the hard press of his chest collided with her back. One of his hands moved to grip her neck, while the other rose to lay possessively across her belly. He lowered his mouth next to her ear, "The gods were with you this day, Valkyrie. Yet, we'll see what the morrow brings." He then released her and moved around her to sit next to Ivar.

"You think yourself clever with that trick in the water, do you?" Sigurd asked, while tugging one of her curls as he passed. "Well, I know a few tricks too and mine are sure to put you on your back as well." With his gaze still locked on her, he dropped down on the other side of Ubbe.

Hvitserk spun her around to face him. "One detail," he snatched her skirts up around her hips and lifted her. Her legs wrapped around his waist. A sliver of space remaining between them provoked him to tug her closer until her naked sex pressed firmly against his bare lower abdomen muscles. On contact, the sinewy tissue flexed against her clit and try as she might, she couldn't stop the groan that burst from her lips. His eyes rolled closed, and gasps of air rushed from his mouth as he rested his forehead on hers. "I had to be certain." After a moment he allowed her body to slip from his.

"Of what?" She questioned, slightly swaying as she shifted her skirts back in place.

"I was home," he said, before stealing a kiss and darting away.

Something a breath away from recognition flared within her. She pressed to fingers to her lips to help preserve the feel and weight of Hvitserk's mouth on hers. Where the hell did she know his kiss?

Bjorn shot his younger siblings hell bred units. "Come, Bonnie. It's almost time for second meal and Queen Aslaug would like for us to attend her in the great hall...again." She didn't miss the annoyance which saturated his again.

"Alright, let me just grab my basket," she strode to pick up the wicker carrier and the world turned upside down.

Then it overturned and became consumed by Ivar's sculpted to perfection features. When she'd sacrificed her better judgement and walked too closed to him, he'd snatched her off her feet by an ankle. Once down on his turf, he'd flipped her over and yanked her to him like a virgin slated for sacrifice. Now he loomed over her larger than life. She'd played herself by forgetting he was the one to watch. The most dangerous of them all.

"I can see in your eyes you know your error is grave," he spoke to her in that soft accented tone that all ways fucked over her senses. "Next time you will not dismiss me so effortlessly because you believe me to be at a disadvantage, hmm?"

The sheer beauty of him outshined the ever-radiant torch she still carried for Niklaus. And Ivar the Boneless was right there! Right there in front of her! If ever there was a pass to be given for one indiscretion in a relationship, surely this was the time. Ignoring all the legitimate reasons as to why she shouldn't, she reached up and ran the pad of her index finger over one smooth brow. The perfectly arched hair felt silky to the touch.

Stunned, he stared down at her, confusion bunching those very brows while slightly parting those luscious lips. Her gaze flicked to the bottom one. It drew her thumb like a super magnet attracted to a pile of scrap metal. First contact almost made her swallow her tongue. Nothing could've prepared her for such fleshy softness. You'd think his lips had never known a day without Carmex. Damn, she had to know what it felt like to have his mouth on hers! Cupping her other hand around the nape of his neck, she used the hold to guide his lips towards hers even as she arched upwards to meet him halfway.

"Ivar, we have spoken much on you remaining free of mischief," Bjorn said, yanking Ivar off of her and plopping him back down on the plot of grass next to Ubbe.

Bonnie climbed to her feet, dusting herself off as she went. For a moment, their she'd almost pulled a damn Elena. Acting first and thinking never. Difference was she didn't have a scrappy side-chick running to have her back when she wrote a check her ass wasn't equipped to cash out. No! She needed to stay focused and figure out why the hell an immortal witch spell brought her all the way back to the Viking era. And it wasn't even the real Viking era. She was trapped in a television series loosely tailored after a raider who lived over a thousand years ago.

"Thanks for helping me today, Sigurd," She said, while allowing Bjorn to take her hand. "It would've taken me longer to locate the things I needed without you.

"You're welcome to my help whenever you have need of it," He said, grinning up at her.

Bonnie nodded then looked to the other brothers. "Ubbe, Hvitserk...Ivar," she held Ivar's gaze a moment longer than called for, before continuing, "thank you for being superb stress relievers." She wound her shoulders in counterclockwise circles as she cocked her head from one side to the other until she heard the pop. "Didn't realize how backed up I was until you guys worked me out a little."

"Then you should prepare yourself," Ubbe said, giving her a sideways glance, "for stress will no longer be a worry of yours." His bottomless cobalt glare, glanced down the length of her body before returning back to her face. Hvitserk and Sigurd snorted.

She held his gaze until Bjorn guided her from the enclosure of the cove back into the woods. Once out of his and Ivar's soul disturbing stare, she exhaled. For the next several minutes, she and Bjorn walked back to Kattegat in silence. After fiddling with the handle of the basket, attempting to work up the nerve to find something to say, Bjorn spoke first.

"I spoke with Floki today and he told me the fleet I commissioned won't be ready to sail until next Spring," he said, bending to pick up a stick from the path, "which is just as well, since Torvi is carrying again. I've already sent a messenger to King Harald."

"Wait," she stopped mid-step, "Torvi's pregnant?"

He walked a little further before he realized she'd halted. Once he did, he turned back to face her, his expression unreadable as ever. "Yes."

"C-congratulations, Asa's gonna be beautiful," she said, without thinking. Her mind to set on the fact she was adrift somewhere between season 4 part 1 and 2. How the hell would she navigate over the course of the year without knowing what happens from one moment to the next?

Bjorn cradled her face in his hands. "Are you saying this babe will be a girl?"

Damn! Well, the cat has left the bag. She nodded and a brilliant smile that could put the sun out of business blossomed on his face. His joy even provoked the corners of her mouth to travel north. "I'm very much proud to have boys, but after what happened to my first child...Siggy, it is my belief that by blessing me with a girl this time, the gods have shown me favor."

The blend of his happiness and vulnerability disarmed her defenses. She leapt into his arms, hugging him tight to her. The best her lack of height would allow anyway. All she wanted was to give him the comfort and support he'd shown her since her world went bat-shit. Bjorn, however, must've misread into things, because he had her pinned to the nearest tree attempting to raise her skirts.

He pressed kisses into the side of her neck as he worked to hike up her skirts and wrap her legs around him at the same time. "My man stand has nigh burst awaiting consent to plow you." He grind an oversized bulge into her bare center, and she squealed, not sure whether it was in delight or protest.

"Bjorn, I'm so sorry," she gritted through clenched teeth. Not trusting what would come flying out of her mouth if she opened it fully. "I didn't mean to lead you on. I'm a hugger." She babbled. "I only meant to offer you a hug of friendship."

He stilled and leaned away to peer down at her with a scrunched red face. "What?" Backing away, he let her feet drop to the ground. "Who in the name of the All-Father offers passionate embraces as a form of friendship?"

"Look, Bjorn," she lifted her chin, ready to no means no, his ass. "I'm sorry if you misread things, but you're married-,"

"Misread?!" His eyes nearly leapt from their sockets as he snorted his disbelief. "And what of all the lusty ways I notice you watching me when you think I don't see?"

She lied with a straight face. "You're mistaken."

"I'm not mistaken," he backed her into the same tree, "just last eve your eyes pleaded with me-,"

"And that's another thing," she said, cutting him off. "Don't take this wrong, because I'm grateful for you and Torvi's kindness, but when can we start on the restoration of Rollo's house?"

He stared at her a moment without saying anything. "We can begin soon after we finish daggmal on the morrow." Her head bobbed, and then she moved to step around him. He grabbed her arm to halt her movements. "Are you leaving my keep because I chose to lay with my wife?"

Her eyes bucked and she shook her head until she thought it would fly off her neck, "Of course not. I'm leaving because you both deserve privacy and not some stranger interrupting your lives."

"You're not a stranger, Mystical One," he rested his forehead on hers, "we're bonded by the oath we swore. You and I are a part of each other until one of us enters Valhalla."

[garbageivereleasedintothevoid]

03-08-20 (Sunday)

I just read a Tumblr post about this screenshot:

And it had a bunch of people's stories about this exact situation and it just reminded me of how much I hate being in that situation and how scared I am of these kinds of situations, to the point where if a man approaches me in public, I typically just either become slightly hostile or ignore him. I cannot stress to you how little tolerance I have for random men approaching me on the street. If I meet a new man willingly, it's through a friend. If a dude tried this and Kirt was nearby, I wouldn't have to feel awkward saying "No, why the fuck would I hug a random stranger I just met?" Because I know they'd have my back. But it still panicks me. Something most people don't realize is that I still react as if what people see is a fat woman sitting alone. I'm still fat but people seeing a fat man is... You're less likely to get harassed as long as you appear outwardly masculine. As in, more people feel like encroaching on my personal space is appropriate the more purple and pink I wear. And it fucking scares me. I'm not gonna stop wearing colors others consider feminine but I do think about it before I leave the house. And the anxiety spike I feel when I see a man walking towards me is real and I don't like it. I never allow them to bully me into giving what they want out of pure principle because I feel it is a disservice to others to allow it. If I give them what they want, they are more likely to try again. They may still try again but every vehement rejection they recieve makes the next attempt a little more concerning. I always escalate it because I'm not going to be the reason he thinks doing this to the next person is acceptable. And also because I get personally pissed off at him in the moment. It's not right. And I refuse to sit down and accept that. I'm a fighter. Always have been. Always will be. This world can kill me. But it can never conquer me. In that way, at least, I am immortal. My spirit will live on in the multitudes of nonbinary people and women who will come after me and will have to deal with douchebags like that.

One day I will die. But only physically. I will haunt this Earth as the spirit of rebellion for as long as someone who was influenced by my rebellion (even indirectly, with infinite degrees of separation) walks this Earth. For me, rebellion (of any kind)is a spiritual act. It is taking back what is rightfully mine and ensuring my mark on society. I don't need to be named for my mark to matter. And honestly? I prefer it this way. When people know your name, they turn you into a saint. And I don't want that. I am not a saint. I'm not an angel. I make mistakes and if history is to remember my name, I demand my name be remembered alongside mistakes and successes. I do not want to be retroactively painted as a perfect person. I do not want to have people semi-worship me as if I never did anything wrong because I feel that does more harm than good. This was something I felt a long time before hearing Angela Davis speak but it's something she even touched on a bit. She said she hates being famous and that people think she has all the answers and that's why I respect her as a public figure. The accomplishments mean nothing to me if she embraces a sense of superiority because of it. But she doesn't. And that's why I feel like I can respect her. You are only as good as you deny yourself to be. You should never let someone tell you you're perfect or special. "Anyone can do this." Is a phrase essential to activism in my opinion. Not only does that say "I'm not doing anything I think anyone else cannot do." It also subtly lights a fire under people's ass to get involved. If anyone can do it, why aren't you? Is the implication there. And since it's not worded as an attack, it gets people thinking and they can approach it on their terms and how they see fit, which is ideal. You don't want to force people into your train of thought. A movement works best when there are a multitude of people working at a problem from as many different angles as possible. If you put all your eggs in one basket, it could turn out to be the basket that falls through. And is more likely to from the weight of the eggs. When too many people try to advance one mindset all at once, others rebel and they rebel hard. It's why capitalism is playing the long game. It's why this shit has been a decades long (if not longer) process and not a 5 year process. Because it works and they know this.

And our approach must be the one that works. And for us on the general kindness side of things, the approach that works best is the one that is varied.

Also if we allow multiple interpretations of one explanation, we are more likely to find one that sticks in everyone's heads and to find one that makes sense to every individual. If I only allow for my explanations, I am not explaining it in a way that makes sense to everyone. Your wording may be easier for some to understand on X issue while my explanation may be better for that same person on Y issue.

It's just one of those reasons I find value in not only getting new people involved but in helping them develop their understanding. The more they understand the more they can help. And they fill in the gaps you left behind. Which is inevitable. No one can fill them all alone. And idk. It's just... Oh god I'm tired rn and I just realized it. I'm going back to bed. Fuck.