#'everyone can already make their own sherlock holmes' okay but i'm talking about THIS one

[tyrannuspitch]

they should make bbc sherlock public domain early for like its 25th anniversary so all the fans committed enough to wait that long can publish or produce their secret good versions

[neon-green-reagent]

Buyer Beware: Cushing Curiosities

I don't normally do this. My aim is to keep things positive in this space, as much as possible. But I need to talk about the new Severin Films box set dedicated to Peter Cushing and basically beg anyone who loves Peter Cushing to not waste their money on this. When I saw they were, after multiple Christopher Lee sets, finally doing one for Cushing, I admit I got too excited and impulsively pre-ordered it. I have regretted it ever since. Okay, that's too strong. It was way too much money and time wasted on something that's about one-third good. One third is not enough, and even then I'm probably being too generous. 

The box art and presentation are beautiful. If that's all that matters to you, then you'll be delighted. The GIANT book that comes with it is also really awesome. It's informative and thorough with a lot of really cool images. I can't deny that they really went above and beyond, turning a booklet into an actual book that is well worth owning. These are a couple of the highest points you're going to experience with this set. Let's dig into the movies. 

Cone of Silence. Jesus, what a waste of fucking time. This thing was a slog. An absolute bore. If you care a whole lot about planes... Fuck, even then, you probably won't be able to sit through this, because it's so old-fashioned and drags its feet. Is this what thrillers used to be? I shudder to think. Cushing's role is small and that of a misguided villain character. He shows up to accuse a pilot of being bad at his job, gets put in his place at the end, and that's really it. I'll go ahead and make a blanket statement now that he's always good, always worth watching, but that doesn't make most of these movies worth sitting through. 

Suspect. Here's a movie that goes around and around, struggling to get to the point, trying to imitate Hitchcock but without any of the style that goes along with that. Just stationary middle shots of people talking. But don't you worry, it's not just boring! Multiple characters make cracks about how women shouldn't be working in science (Cushing's character included, which makes this an utter loser of a movie to watch for his role). The "villain" is a man with a disability who eventually kills himself, and that's treated like a GOOD OUTCOME. Some movies are old. This movie is old-minded, and it brought what was already not very engaging down to a pile of shit for me. And again, a theme you'll notice, Cushing is a side character who isn't given hardly anything to do and little screen time. Oh, and Donald Pleasence shows up and makes this face: O.O

The Man Who Finally Died. So this was at least engaging. Maybe by this point the bar was just VERY low for me, but I actually enjoyed this. It had lots of twists and turns. Despite being pre-giallo, it had a lot of those storytelling conventions, so I found myself, you know... actually watching the movie instead of struggling to stay awake. The rewatch value feels low, because once you've experienced those twists and turns, they won't shock you next time. But at least it wasn't a total wash. AND ONCE MORE CUSHING WAS BARELY IN IT, SO REGARDLESS OF THE QUALITY OF THE FILM IT WASN'T REALLY A CUSHING FILM, WAS IT? 

Sherlock Holmes. Ohhhhh God. This was not good. I managed one and a half episodes before shutting it off. I couldn't believe how shoddy everything about this was. It's a BBC Sherlock Holmes show! What happened!? I mean, I'm still not clear, but after some googling I did find out that Cushing was a fast replacement for another actor who was leaving in a huff. And the reason he left in a huff was because everything about the production truly sucked ass. It shows. And it didn't improve when Cushing came on. Everything was so clearly rushed. You can feel how everyone's just trying to remember their lines and where to stand, because they were given zero time to rehearse and prepare. I thought this would be a highlight of the set, but it's probably one of the worst aspects. At least Cushing is the main character? 

Bloodsuckers. This was great. I can finally say something was GREAT. What a relief. Cushing is still barely in it, but at least it was entertaining. It's your standard, early seventies, vampire romp. With some psychedelic weirdness thrown in toward the beginning and lots of overly sexual shenanigans. In particular, Johnny Sekka gives a great performance, and in a more modern movie, they would have made the character gay as he should have been. Also, Edward Woodward shows up for a single scene and steals the entire movie. Definitely worth watching, regardless of Cushing's ten minutes of screen time. Even though I thought the point was for it to be a CUSHING box set... 

Tender Dracula. Last but actually the best. This is an absolute ride of a movie. I loved it. My problem is this is such a crazy film, with tonal shifts galore and an unsensible plot, that I could actually see people hating it. It's a movie that is not for everyone, not by a long shot. It breaks the fourth wall, plays with stereotypes and tropes, throws out humor that sometimes lands and sometimes doesn't, and leaves your head spinning. Plenty of viewers might find the experience frustrating and not rewarding. I happened to love it and got a lot out of it, but it feels very poor for a movie like this to be probably the best thing about a shoddy box set. That's not exactly promising your customers the best they could get. BUT CUSHING IS THE STAR! Finally! One (arguably) good movie where he's the main attraction. Christ, that took long enough. 

So what do we have after all that? A set of movies that, for the most part, only tangentially involve Cushing, with his name slapped on the side of the box. Trotting out a beloved actor who isn't here to approve of what's being done for a quick buck feels pretty damn gross. Severin has made a multitude of mistakes over the years in how they've conducted their business, but this is by far the worst of them. Even with the compliments I've given this set, do not buy it. It isn't even close to being worth the price point. The fact that I spent as much as I did on this leaves me shamefaced. 

[maple-the-awesome]

Be Her Guard || Chapter 18

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x Reader

WARNING: One curse word

Words: 1,630

Masterlist

One. Two. One. Two.

You make sure to keep track of every time you inhale then exhale, taking deep breath after deep breath, yet despite your best efforts, your heart continues to hammer against your chest. You feel sick; sick enough to throw up at any given moment which you pray you don't.

Your mother and sister sit at each side, the former rubbing your back in comfort while the latter holds the hand in which grips the fabric of your pants so tightly that your knuckles are staring to turn white.

"Everything is going to be okay, sis. I know it will be," she’s doing her best to calm you, they both are, but at the end of the day, everyone knows no amount of softly spoken words will help cure your nerves. Sometimes, they just say the things they do to help themselves relax since everyone’s on edge for what will become of the day.

You look up with another exhale, your eyes following Sherlock as he paces across the hall like an anxious predator stuck inside a cage. His arms are crossed behind his back and his nose scrunched up in thought. He'd spin on his heel to walk in the other direction, never slowing his stride for so much as a second. Your mother had tried requesting that he sit down, however, he gave no sign of even hearing her. You’re sure he didn't. As you’ve explained, not that the family understands, he’s in his Mind Palace meaning he isn't exactly 'there to talk to'.

You wonder what’s currently going on inside his Mind Palace. You’re willing to bet that he’s thinking of Apollo, and nothing pleasant about him either. Anyone could tell he desperately wants inside that courtroom, however, there’d be a risk in allowing him. Despite his wonderful observation skills, Sherlock’s never been the best at reading a room and keeping himself from saying the wrong thing nor would he do anything legal if able to stand within mere feet of the handcuffed man inside so, to prevent any unwanted trouble, he’s been forced to wait outside like everyone else.

At long last, the doors open. One by one, occupants of the room file out, gaining everyone in the hall's attention. Your father’s the first to come over to the group and, by that hallowed look on his face alone, you can already tell what he’s going to say.

Like water through a broken dam, tears suddenly flood your eyes with a shattered sob escaping from your lips. You collapse into your mother's arms, her and your sister immediately hugging you as tightly as they can, unable to conceal their own tears.

The sound snaps Sherlock out of his Mind Palace in no time, leading his eyes to lock onto you. Before he can make any movement your way, your father places a hand on the inspiring detective's shoulder, turning him so that their backs may face the rest of the family.

After a trembling breath, he shakes his head sadly," that son of a bitch is taking it to trial."

Sherlock says nothing. It isn't clear to the eye, but he’s fuming on the inside. He already knew from the start that Apollo’s the stubborn and heartless type to make everyone suffer through a trial, however, there had still been a small part of himself that hoped to be wrong for once...for your sake.

You try to get a hold of yourself, aware that the throbbing in your head will only grow worse the more worked up you get. Besides, this isn't the time nor place to break down...not in front of all these people anyways.

You feel your hand be taken by one much larger than either your mother or sister's which draws you to blink open your teary eyes and look up to Sherlock who’s staring down at you. The rest of the family soon takes notice of him as well, your sister moving over enough to let him take her place by your side which he quickly does.

Rather awkwardly, he gives your hand a squeeze, glancing at you for a split second before directing his eyes away," I'm...sorry."

You sniff, your lip quivering at his words. They don’t seem like much especially compared to the speeches your family’s been throwing at you all day, but coming from Sherlock, they’re everything.

You wrap your arms around him, pulling him into a crushing embrace that he hesitantly returns, holding your close as you cry into his shoulder.

"A-Are you going ho-home soon still?" You manage to get the words out finally, refusing to loosen your grip as if it will keep him with you forever and solve all your problems.

It pricks his heart for you to so much as think he'd leave you at this time," no, I'll remain here as long as you need me, in fact, I've already made plans to extent my stay.”

"But w…what about you're-you're job? You're family?" You hiccup, feeling guilty to keep him away for so long when he’s been working hard to set himself up as a respected detective back in England, not to mention his parents are most likely worried about him, and, while he may not believe it, Mycroft surely misses him, too.

"Please," Sherlock scoffs in offense," I’m only a consulting detective; I decide my own hours, and as for family, they'd rather me be here than there at this time. Mummy even had Mycroft teach her how to use a webcam- and you know how much she hates technology- all so that she can ask how you’re doing face-to-face. She still hasn't asked a word about me yet."

You bury your face against the crook of his neck, your voice a whisper,"...what's going to h-happen now?"

"We get you your justice and make sure he pays for what's he's done to you," Sherlock promises, rocking you in his arms," with all the evidence stacked against him, he's an idiot to try and fight this. It'll only make it worst for himself, I assure you."

You hum while glancing over his shoulder, freezing when your eyes land upon the Timmons family who stands at the opposite end of the hall together. As luck would have it, Apollo's mother happens to look your way at that very moment, tears filling her own eyes as she shakes her head, her expression a mix of shock and disgrace.

You’ve never had a great relationship with your almost in-laws, but also never a terrible one until calling off the engagement, although, you can understand their anger then. What you can't understand is how much they’re defending Apollo. You wouldn't blame them for loving him nor would you blame them for being upset over what he did, but to completely deny it? To ignore all the evidence and insist it’s you ruining his life? You just can't understand that…

You maintain solid eye contact with her and the rest of the Timmons family until the moment you open your eyes, no longer finding yourself in the court hallway, but instead alone in Sherlock's room.

Taking a deep breath, you run a hand over your face, clearing your tears while repeating to yourself quietly that it’s only a memory. You reach your arm over to feel the empty bedside, concluding that Sherlock must’ve fell asleep in the living room again. The alarm clock on the bedstand reads 1:58am.

You know deep down that it would be better to forget, after all, the dream’s only a mere memory that’s long passed, however, you can’t help but dwell on it. For some strange reason, out of all the family there that you remember, your interest remains locked on the face of Apollo’s maternal uncle-in-law who had been standing at his mother’s side glaring at you the same way the rest of them had.

During your short time with Apollo, you had rarely spoken to his uncle let alone seen him. According to what you’ve been told, he’s a busy man who must split time between work, his own family, and his wife's family, so it’s always been understandable that you’d only seen him at a few holiday parties and Super Bowl.

Nevertheless, Apollo appeared to be very close to his uncle-in-law, the two often carrying on long conversations over the phone and spending time together at family gatherings, but the man made no effort to speak to you personally whenever you tagged along. You had only ever been the awkward third wheel.

What even was his name? You gave up on trying to remember how he looked, but the least you can manage is recalling his name, right? Apollo talked about him enough to supply your memory for the rest of your life-

-Your breath catches in your throat, your eyes going wide as you sit up a little too fast, making your head dizzy. Regardless, you hurry to the living room, tugging a blanket off the bed to wrap around your shoulders as you go.

You expect to find Sherlock passed out on the couch or his chair seeing that he must've stayed up late last night, yet he’s nowhere to be found. His coat is also absent from the hanger, hinting towards him having left the flat.

Your theory is proven correct when entering the kitchen and finding a small note left on the table reading in quickly written handwriting:

Left to investigate a crime scene. It's a murder. Didn't want to wake you.

-SH

You sigh, looking around the empty flat anxiously. Of all the times for Sherlock to be gone, it’s when you’ve finally remembered something important. You know he’s been dying for a good case lately and a murder must be like a present for him, but you hope he returns soon. Your memory will be something he'd want to know, you’re sure.

...Hugh Walsh...That’s the name of Apollo's uncle...

NEXT CHAPTER➡️

[saoirse-1887]

Masterpost!

Hello everyone! I have a lot to mention in this so buckle up!

First and foremost, if you ever need a person to talk to, please don't hesitate. I have my anon-asks on and my DMs/PMs are always open

I am a 1000% safe space for POC and LGBTQIA+ people, being a Queer POC myself, I feel for people in both communities and I will never discriminate when it comes to this

If you ever need for me to tag something with sensitive content and I don't already do so, please let me know. I will tag anything anybody needs me to.

I'm a literal nerd, so if you lovely humans ever want to infodump on me, go right ahead, you'll probably get a whole thesis if I know about it too!

I'm terrible at keeping up with my blog, so if it seems like I've dissappeared off the face of the planet, I probably forgot Tumblr existed for a bit.

I do spam blog a lot. So you will get torrents of content on your dash from me.

My url is pronounced (seer-shuh) and the date after it is the year the first ACD Sherlock Holmes book was released (A Sudy in Scarlet)

I have a side account @a-mycroft-c-holmes it's a little project I have which is also for potential RP if anyone is interested.

I'm part of a bunch of Fandoms:

Sherlock (BBC, Granada, ACD, RDJ)

Doctor Who

LotR/Hobbit (books and movie)

MARVEL

DC

Harry Potter (fuck Rowling)

Good Omens

FNAF (Games and Books)

The Magnus Archives (I'm completely finished with it so feel free to talk or rant!)

and lots more that I can't think of lol

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I'm Genderqueer and I lean more toward non-binary and feminine.

I have a wonderful partner whose pronouns are they/them and if you don't respect that, I'll ensure that you experience pain for all eternity.

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I do curse, a lot, but you will never hear me use slurs referencing race, sexuality or anything else. Even though some may apply to me, I choose not to use them out of my own uncomfort.

The same goes for the word 'fat', I'm personally not comfortable with it and I prefer to use: large, bigger bodied, heavyset, etc. I belong to the larger population of the world and 'fat' has been used against me so much that I'm no longer okay using the word for myself or talking about other heavyset persons.

Sometimes I will make personal posts and they may contain things referencing parental abuse, their political standpoint, my own mental health, or just a rant about how much I need to get our of my house. I assure you all that I will be okay when I post these because if I could make it through my bad days before, I can make it through future ones.

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my original tags are:

saoirse says things sometimes

saoirse likes music

saoise reads

saoirse rambles

saoirse's serious

saoirse rants about Sherlock

saoirse answers asks

saoirse asks questions

saoirse livebloggs sherlock

saoirse livebloggs movies

I will be making a DNI and both will be linked to the pinned post on my blog.

Have a wonderful day/night!

💛💛💛💛

[condensed-theorem-shop]

Hi, you seem to have lots of opinions on fics (esp. Glowfics) and I'm reading radiance right now. So I was wondering if you have any good fanfic recommendations for when I finish c:

Ooooh okay I can do this :D I’m not sure if you want recs for glowfic or fanfic or both or what, so I’m gonna err on the side of Everything.

Cut for Much Length.

Part 1: Glowfic Collections

If you’d like another big reading project to start on, boy do I have recommendations for you.

Effulgence. I’d describe Effulgence as the paradigmatic glowfic. (Don’t be daunted to the fact that the link is to a ‘how to read’; it is not in fact tricky to read. There’s a series of links on an index page, and you can just read through each in order.) The basic conceit is that Alicorn writes AU versions of Bella-from-Luminosity into tons of different fanfic universes, and then all of them meet up and take over the universe and also cuddle a lot. The exciting other half is Kappa(/Pyth/@shitifindon), Alicorn’s cowriter for Effulgence; Kappa writes various AU versions of the Joker (yes, from Batman) who are fantastic adorable masochists and fall madly in love with the AU-Bellas (“Bells”). The shipping is so adorable. I cannot recommend it enough.

Silmaril. Probably the biggest glowfic continuity (“story spanning a bunch of worlds that meet up”) aside from Effulgence, and (unlike Effulgence) currently updating, so it’s talked about a lot in the community right now. Hence, a good choice if you want to hop right into the discussions. (Please do!!) The writers for this one are Alicorn and Lintamande, the latter of whom writes a fantastic Lord-of-the-Rings setting with a cast of Elves from the Silmarillion who are traumatized and fantastic and huggable.

Particularly Good Threads. Okay, this one is cheating, but it’s worth linking. People on the forum are trying to compile a list of recommended glowfics. Some of them are not necessarily maximally recommended to someone new to glowfic, but people put brief explanations of what they’re reccing them for, so it should hopefully still be helpful.

Part 2: Individual Glowfics

The thing about glowfics is that they tend to spin off each other – Lintamande decides to write her elf characters in space this time, Alicorn has a version of Bella who is male and a demon visit, he ends up interestingly traumatized from that, then Kappa goes “hey can we write about what would happen if that interestingly traumatized Bell met my version of a character from the Vorkosigan Saga who was from a different universe and then met a monument and now travels in a floating canoe,” and you end up with a really fantastic story which no one can make sense of unless they have read, like, a dozen prerequisite threads.

So I can’t just recommend my favorite glowfics, because none of them would make sense; and you can’t really just start browsing through the glowfics on the Constellation unless you’re willing to put up with half of them being nonsensical. Reading through Effulgence will help a lot with that, as will getting familiar with the casts of a few of the more prolific glowficcers (Kappa writes the Joker, Miles Vorkosigan, Tony Stark, and Sherlock Holmes a lot; Pedro writes Sadde, who’s original to him; Lintamande has her various Elves). For the moment, though, here’s some glowfics that require relatively little context.

blood sweat tear: A fairy Bell meets Miles Vorkosigan. Works well without much context because Miles is figuring out what’s going on, so you can figure it out along with him.

in spite of a nail: An episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, if Bella were the Slayer and Kappa’s Sherlock were a vampire.

Lindworm: A classic fairy tale, with Bella as the heroine and a Joker as the dragon.

there’s only so much I can turn into: A good introduction to Sadde, since you’ve read Luminosity already! Getting to know Sadde will make a lot more glowfic accessible. Addy finds a Sadde.

in which a Bell is the second coming of Christ: exactly what it sounds like, and fantastic. No context needed.

Pre-Jump Earth Literature: a good introduction to Miles Vorkosigan, in his canon setting. And you get a gander at the popular Miles/Yvette ship!

Uninvited Guests are Welcome Here: another case where both sets of characters are a bit lost and explaining their worlds to each other, which makes it an excellent introduction to those worlds.

you know what they say about the young: Matilda (yes, from Roald Dahl) appears in Middle-Earth and makes friends with a very tiny Feanor. Excessive adorableness ensues.

A Table for Two: Gregor, the emperor of Barrayar from the Vorkosigan Saga, meets … Hannibal. From Hannibal. It is very satisfying.

More Than One Kind Of Artifact: another characters-explain-their-worlds-to-each-other thread. A Bell from an original world with magic artifacts meets magical-girl Edie and Emily (who are the AU offspring of Magneto and Professor X, but that’s a whole nother thing…)

Part 3: Shameless Plugging

You didn’t think I was going to let you get away without reccing you a couple of my own glowfics, did you? :D

For context: Jean is my spy/revolutionary/actor/bundle of issues/world’s worst planner. Faith is my teenage antichrist who keeps trying to fix the world by taking it over via mind control and otherwise making very bad decisions.

the prettiest song I heard: a Jean in an original universe of Kappa’s gets really, really fucked up, and then falls in love. (So many warnings. So many warnings. I am serious about the warnings. But if you like that sort of thing…)

one for sorrow (two for joy): a Jean attempts to kidnap a prince and accidentally falls in love with him in the process. Hilarity ensues.

don’t let’s ask for the moon: set in an original universe of Alicorn’s, but not much of that actually comes up. (People get magic from eclipses.) Jean rescues Adelene’s character Denice from an institution; there is adorableness.

neither fish nor fowl: Jean and Denice in Star Wars, and this time she is the one rescuing him from himself. Jean does not make a very good Jedi.

Out of the Blue: Faith and Throne’s character Theo explore vampires in an original setting. Mistakes are made. So many of them.

Incipio: Faith and Theo again, in Buffy the Vampire Slayer this time.

Part 4: Fanfic

Taking a break from the glowfic for a while! Here’s some general fanfic recommendations.

At the End of All Things: If you’d like to meet Lintamande’s Elves outside of a glowfic setting, she’s got an enormous (in-progress) story about Elves brought back to life in the modern day! It is fantastic and depressing!

The Stone Gryphon: a serious, historical-fiction take on the Narnia books, and the events in England that happened in between them. Amazing historical tie-ins, and strikes a nice balance in its attitude towards the more spiritual aspects of the Narnia books which I think a lot of fics have trouble with.

The Foodieverse: an astonishingly well-written Avengers AU … in which all the characters are involved in the restaurant industry. Captain America has a food truck. It’s amazing.

Five Places Cinna Came From: a series of Hunger Games AUs, exploring different possible backstories for Cinna and doing a ton of worldbuilding along the way.

Move Fast and Break Things: @ozymandias271’s now-complete Avengers AU, with female!disabled!Tony Stark, adorable!Bucky, and general amazingness.

Steve Rogers at 100: Celebrating Captain America on Film: a story wrapped around accounts of Captain America movies, good and bad, that might have existed in-universe. I am so delighted by this kind of worldbuilding.

Part 5: Original Fiction

You didn’t ask, but I am sharing some online favorites anyway!

Worm: If you have not read it yet, you should! A gritty-superheroes narrative, distinguished from the million others in the genre by the really awesome thought that’s put into powers. Everyone thinks of inventive ways to use their powers and does it. Warning: super long. And depressing. Read it anyway! There are glowfics set there!

Goldmage: An original novel of Alicorn’s! Delightful worldbuilding, sweet and exciting and depressing, read it read it read it.

Elcenia: An immense work of original fiction by Alicorn. Very glowficcy in some ways (and lots of glowfics are set there, so that’s another reason to read it). In the first book, a woman is accidentally magically transported between worlds, and explored Alicorn’s super-thoroughly-worldbuilt original setting while figuring out exciting ways to leverage the contact. Each subsequent book takes some minor character or characters from previous books and tells their story. This has the delightful effect that you can then reread it, and when Random Dude #12 is being grumpy and unreasonable you know it’s because he’s just had his best friend kidnapped and is having to pretend nothing happened as part of an elaborate plot involving telepathic vampires (no, not a real example).

Cordyceps: Another one popular in the same general circles as Luminosity is. Mystery/horror/post-apocalyptic, and marvelous. And depressing and needs a lot of warnings -- you may be sensing a theme here.

Part 6: Other People

Other glowficcers on tumblr who might have recs for you, off the top of my head: @luminousalicorn @kelsbraintumbler @scientiststhesis @curiosity-discoverer-of-worlds @shitifindon @lintamande @aestrix @trickytalks @throne3d @marrinikari @ansiblelesbian @inquisitivefeminist @mischiefmanaged777twoofus @erinflight and I’m sure I’m still forgetting people. They are all way more approachable than you think! At least if you are like me and decide people are scary and unapproachable for no particular reason!

All y’all I tagged -- any other rec ideas? :D