#'dungeons are only like $15' okay first of all not everyone has access to fucking sex dungeons (maybe geographically or physically)
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freakoutgirl Ā· 1 month ago
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i'm serious though that people online have got to stop looking at posts and trying to therapize the op and anyone who relates to it. "that's not a healthy way to think" "you just need to do it" maybe not, maybe so, but ultimately who cares??? people are allowed to express their unhealthy, maybe self-pitying, maybe nihilistic posts on their blog. they aren't asking you for advice. they do not know you. you are not their therapist nor are you even their friend. they are not having a conversation, they are venting on their own personal space. if you find these posts annoying just block the post or the op and move on. no one wants to hear your thoughts on someone's mental health when you don't even fucking know them or their situation
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jupitermelichios Ā· 4 years ago
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On a more possitive note, Iā€™ve started watching Sword Art Online. Itā€™s one of the worst things Iā€™ve ever seen (and the last film I saw in cinemas was Cats to give you context for the scale iā€™m working on here) and I kind of adore it in much the same way I love garbage like Smallville or Twilight. Itā€™s so stupid on so many levels. You could challenge someone to write the worst anime, and it would almost certainly be better than SAO. Itā€™s almost hypnotic how terrible it is.
No one should watch this terrible terrible show so I therefore donā€™t feel at all bad that Iā€™m about the spoil absolutely everything, but honestly if you do also hate-watch this please come talk to me about how terrible it is. I donā€™t know anyone else who watches it.
Highlights of Season 1 include:
everyone is trapped in an MMO, and if you die in the MMO you die IRL. but if you were a beta-tester youā€™re probably fine because they just let them keep all their levels and items from the testing, so theyā€™re all massively OP and everyone just accepts this as a normal and non-game-breaking thing
itā€™s a fantasy MMO but thereā€™s no races, no magic system, no weapons except swords and maces, and not even an option to dual wield - literally all you can do in this fucking game is stand in front of an enemy and mash the attack button. Iā€™m pretty sure theyā€™re trapped there because the devs realised no one would play this post launch-day otherwise because itā€™s boring as shit
when the villain traps everyone he also just changs all their avatars to look like they do IRL for absolutely no reason, like actually none, he doesnā€™t even say he thinks it would be funny, he just does it and no one questions it and it is literally never mentioned again because this is the worst TV show ever animated.
in the second episode the main character deliberately witholds information about how to defeat a boss, indirectly causing multiple deaths. there is absolutely no reason for him to withhold it, he was just being a jerk because he doesnā€™t like people
in the third episode they reset his entire personality and heā€™s now a selfless hero pretending to be a lower level than he really is so people will find him more relateable and be his friend because all he wants is to help people. this is not a consequence of episode 2, they just decided they didnt like the character as heā€™d previously been written.
he makes some new friends who are all objectively terrible people who have decided for no season that the twelve year old who doesnā€™t really know how to play and keeps having anxiety attacks about the very real possibility of death has to be the guild tank. the MC is high enough level to be functionally immortal in like half the levels, but doesnā€™t tell anyone this he just lets them go on bullying this child
none of his friends survive that episode, in the game or IRL. which is also a christmas epsiode. a child dies in battle because sheā€™s a terrible tank and then a man commits suicide out of guilt, so then the main character murders santa to try and bring them back from the actual dead but it doesnā€™t work because again, this is a video game and they are dead IRL, so then he walks off into the snow alone. Christmas!
we meet the best character in the entire show in episode 4, Rosalia, who has gone evil and started just straight murdering people because sheā€™s sick of being an attractive adult woman who canā€™t get a date because sheā€™s surrounded by lolicons who are only interested in the preteen characters (not a joke, that comes up, the show is firmly on the side of the lolicons)
in the same episode we get an extended bra and panty sequence staring an actual fucking child, like canonically this character is maybe 13 at best. this is one of only 2 occaisions when they feel the need to undress a character and itā€™s the fucking 12 year old, itā€™s so gross it reads like a parody of itself
literally every single named female character aged over 8 who talks to the MC falls in love with him after like 5 minutes (and in season 2 this includes his actual sister). he shows absolutely no interest in any of them (including his sister, thank god) until...
the main character gets engaged to a girl he only knows from an MMO after a virtual single date (he doesnā€™t actually win her in a PVP match but only because he looses the match, he 100% canonically tries to win her in a match, which she is apparently fine with). he then doesnā€™t bother to ask for her real name until the final episode, he just calls her by her screen name
(thatā€™s okay though becuase it turns out that this moron of a love interest used her real name, on a local server, in a game where your character looks like you do IRL, because apparently getting doxxed is her hobby)
they then get in-game married off screen. thereā€™s not even like a still of a wedding photo. nothing. the main character proposes and then the show immediately jumps to the honeymoon, itā€™s fucking bizarre.
they find a creepy child dressed all in white with no memory alone in the woods a week into their honeymoon who starts calling them mommy and daddy literally seconds after they first meet her, and they donā€™t suspect anything suss is going on and adopt her
for hilarity bear in mind the main character may only be 15 at this point (he says heā€™s only just turned 16 in the last epsiode, but his actual birthday is never mentioned), and his virtual wifu is 16, but no one ever questions the marriage or the adoption, even though ā€˜hey marriage in a video game is as important and meaningful as marriage in real lifeā€™ is an actual conversation people have multiple times. also they think the child they adopt is an actual IRL 8 year old who thinks these randos she met in an MMO are her mum and dad and everyone just goes with that like itā€™s a totally normal thing
a character called ā€˜Thinkerā€™ agrees to meet an enemy faction leader for peace talks. the ā€œpeace talksā€ take place in a high level dungeon and he is told to come alone with no weapons and no fast travel. he does this. no one ever comments that his name is ironic, and in fact they seem to think that being betrayed and trapped in a dungeon with a boss is a totally unexpected turn of events Thinker could never have planned for
they take their new baby into the dungeon to rescue thinker, because they went to the jean grey school of baby rearing, and she imediately reveals that sheā€™s actually a magical maggufin with infinite power, murders the grim reaper, and then dies. In literally the second episode sheā€™s in
after she dies the MC hacks the admin account of the game, converts her corpse into an in game item, and saves to the local storage on his console, with the intention of bringing her back to life as a robot once theyā€™re saved from the game. Iā€™m not joking, thatā€™s an actual thing that happens.
the fact that the main character can just access the main admin account and make massive game-breaking changes isnā€™t used again in that game and he never thinks to try and use it to force log people out or give himself infinite life so he can just rush the game and free everyone. nope, convert a corpse into an item and then never think about it again.
thereā€™s an entire episode where all they do is go fishing. its the only filler episode in the season, and it immediately follows the death of a small child. itā€™s the most tone-deaf beach episode in writing history
it turns out this game, this game where they didnā€™t bother coding in any difference races, weapons, or any kind of magic system, was intended to have fully sentient AI therapists, because why the fuck not at this point honestly
oh also the game has PVP and you can trick the game into thinking a sleeping player is in PVP with you in order to actually murder a real person without it flagging in-game as a murder making the crime impossible for the real life legal system to investigate even though you just murdered a person. and they expect us to believe this game had actual beta testers. at least cyberpunk wasnā€™t played on microwaves you connected straight to your brain (also not a joke, the VR consoles canonically work by sending microwave radiation into your brain, no wonder VR never caught on)
the set up for the show is that they have to reach level 100 of a dungeon in order to win. At level 75, the writers got bored and the show just ends.
it turns out the power of love allows you to just break the fucking game and the main villain literally has a line about how ā€˜love allows you to remove debuffs, huh, we didnā€™t think to plan for thatā€™ because again, thereā€™s no metaphors in this show, everything is 100% literal including the fact that falling in love with another player means youā€™re immune to the paralysis status effect
power of love also allows you to very briefly become a poltergeist after being killed, but only for like 2 seconds. again not a joke or a metaphor, main character is killed but then gets to hang around as a ghost for a little bit to enable him to defeat the boss. he also doesnā€™t die in real life despite that being the entire fucking premise of the show, again because power of love.
the bad guy literally has no plan, heā€™s just doing shit for the sake of having something to do. His actions directly cause the deaths of more than 4,000 people, and itā€™s not even in aid of anything. they ask him why he trapped 10,000 people in an MMO and allowed them to slowly die, and heā€™s just like ā€˜huh, i forgot i did that, randomā€™ and then just fucking peaces out
the fact that he committed one of the largest mass killings outside of war never really comes up again, as far as we know he doesnā€™t even go to jail. i think the show actually kind of thinks heā€™s a good guy, which is a fucking WILD moral stance to take on the deaths of 4000 completely innocent people for absolutely no reason
If this sounds hilari-bad but you donā€™t want to invest the time to watch a show which is objectively garbage, it has an abridged series which is famously better than the show itā€™s parodying (iā€™m dead serious, people have character arcs, the getting married after one date thing is properly addressed, the mc has to deal with PTSD because of all his friends dying in epsidode 3, they donā€™t immediately follow the death of a child with an extended fishing montage, the villain has an actual plan). Itā€™s mostly actually pretty good, but this is the internet and itā€™s an abridged series, so while there are a lot fewer yikes moments than most it still has enough that Iā€™m not comfortable recommending it without the caveat. that said I still enjoyed it a lot, although possibly not at much as pointing and laughing at the garbage that is the actual show.
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