#'cos this was a banger let me tell you

[justwhumpythings]

Boy did I just wake up from a great whump dream 😃

I got two prompts to share with y’all

[just-spacetrash]

💚

[lailols]

TXT as popular tropes!

Soobin: Childhood Best Friends to Lovers

- maybe your moms were close friends so they decided to make their kids of similar ages friends too

- inviting you to each others houses for play dates and cooing over you

- naturally, y’all grew close

- going through life together and growing into the people you are today without losing the other

- genuinely, you know each other so well :(

- having PEAK communication because neither of you are letting small disagreements get between y’all

- as you get older and remain close, your parents start subtly (LOUDLY) shipping you guys

- bin’s family calling you guys a couple because wherever one is, the other isn’t far

- your family definitely calls the other if one’s not answering

- neither of you really put much thought into it, but knew that when imagining your future the other was there

- you both dated other people but never really felt a spark

- the confession comes randomly, just as you guys are talking about your experience with love

- maybe it was always in the back of your mind how you felt

- when it happened, everything felt right

- like every moment in your life was leading to this

“I love you”

“I love you too”

“No, I mean I love you”

“Yeah, I love you too”

- then you make out :D

Yeonjun: Rivals to Lovers

- you’re both gunning for captain of the dance team

- it’s for fun, but you’re both so damn competitive and passionate about what you do that it’s really not

- making playful jabs at each other that never cross boundaries but pushes the other to do better

- truly creating higher expectations for the rest of the team

- in spite of the competition, you both help each other out

- staying later to practice together, watching the others routine to critique, or making choreographies together

- the complements you share feel different because they go beyond the usual “you’re so cool” or “you dance so well”

- it’s deeper than that because you both understand the drive behind what you do

- the desire to be on stage and perform

- you confide in each other because you never fear the other seeing you as less of a dancer or a person

- you also make sure he’s taking care of himself, knowing his habit of prioritizing dance over his well being

- (threats are made to make sure he’s healthy)

- the team definitely placed bets on who they thought would be captain and you guys started your own bet

“Congrats, captain”

“Thanks, co-captain”

“So, what do you want?”

“I want you to treat me to dinner”

“And why would I do that?”

“Because I’m paying for the next one”

Beomgyu: Musician x Muse

- the real loser lover yearners

- every song you write comes back to the other

- but you never tell :(

- you’re one of his biggest motivations

- you hang out once and BOOM three new song ideas

- he’ll hold little concerts for you

- playing songs he’d never share with anyone else

- you def have writing dates

- spontaneously breaking out into song with each other

- it’s like a game

- he “mocks” the songs you write (like he does with jun) but that’s just because you write bangers and there can only be room for one super talented friend in the room

- you’re on the front row for any set he has

- he winks at you while on stage and every around you screams thinking it’s for them but you know

- alternatively, he’s damn near on the stage from how close he is during your sets

- you want to sing? No Y’ALL are singing

- sometimes he’s louder than you even though he’s in the crowd and you have a WHOLE ASS MIC

- you guys cover each others song and it’s so :(

- like wdym the love of my life is singing a song i wrote ABOUT them :((

- the duet you guys release has everyone in shambles

- it’s a conversation between two people and honestly it’s the perfect way to confess

“This song is about someone special to me”

“Or, two special someones”

“It’s a conversation between them which is ironic because we’ve never really talked about it”

“But, you know, right?”

“I know”

Taehyun: Grumpy x Sunshine

- Tae isn’t a grump, he just doesn’t take bullshit

- add that to his generally “cold” exterior, and he’s sending a lot of people running for the hills

- which is exactly why no one can figure out how the literal embodiment of sunshine is his friend

- there is a difference between kind and nice, and you are definitely the latter

- you aren’t necessarily stepped on, but you take a lot more than you probably should

- you guys are basically polar opposites, so how do you fit so well together?

- it’s because you aren’t so different in the end

- in the comforts of your room, you allow each other to break

- to put aside the “characters” you play in the real world

- tae can smile and joke and laugh without having to deal with people gaping at the fact that he has “real” emotions

- you can complain and cry and yell without having people assume that the way you act is a lie

- in the comforts of these four walls, you guys become a mirror of the other

- it’s so sweet to have someone that you can just be completely human with

- no masks, no facades, no faking, just you

- in the beginning, most of your hangouts ended in one (or both) of you crying :(

- but now it’s normal for one of you to pull the other to your room to escape

- it eventually just turns into talking/gossip sessions

“So… how do you feel?”

“I feel like I want to take you out on a date”

“I’d like that”

Hueningkai: Best Friend’s Brother

- when you first saw kai, you’re pretty sure you died and went to heaven

- there’s no way an angel is opening the door to your gremlin of a friend’s house

- there’s no other explanation

- you guys literally just stand there for a good five minutes looking at each other before you’re so RUDELY interrupted

- after that, it’s sneaking glances at the other when you’re both in the same room

- it’s smiles and watching anime together cause no one else does

- kai finding any occasion to buy you a plushie of one character or another

- you suddenly being SO THIRSTY and having to go get water every hour on the dot and Kai just happens to do the same

- you guys get along so well :(

- so much pining between the two of you

- genuinely, your friend must feel like a third wheel even though you came to see HER

- Kai begging to crash your girl’s nights and being refused by everyone

- but then you’re back the next day because you “missed them” and since it’s not technically girls night, he can stay

- the way neither of you know the other’s feelings is so :(

- until his sister suddenly screams for one of you to confess and then storming out of the room

“So… about what she said…. Was it true?

“Yes, it’s okay if you don’t feel the same…“

“Of course, I feel the same! Have you seen yourself?”

————————-

I left Kai’s sister unnamed so you could be older/younger than him

I love txt so much :( I wish there was more writing for them

Please this is my first thing ever don’t be mean, I WILL cry

If you like it, let me know anything else you’d like to see :))

<3

[oh2e]

A (long) Collection of TTOI Quotes

He’s as useless as a marzipan dildo

I’m going to have to mop up a hurricane of piss here

He and Hewitt are tight as arse cheeks

‘How fucked am I? On the fuckometre?’ ‘Oh 12’ ‘yeah 12’ ‘out of what?’ ‘50’ ‘oh…. mine was out of 10’

Tiny little dick the size of a bookie’s biro

There’s no time to go home I’ll pass myself on the way back in

I can only cook with what I’m given. You give me Hugh Abbot I’ll give you bangers and mash, you give me Jerry from home office then I can raise it to fucking risotto and scallops

I am king of remembering my own password

‘Shagging your way to the top is it?’ ‘Yes well I’m not Scottish so I’ve got to get in somehow’

How much shit is on the menu and what flavour is it?

‘What do you want Malcolm’ ‘Two bits of tit. Two titties.’

Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off

“What about just firing him at a wall from a cannon?” “I know we force feed him a mixture of garlic and Dettol in cup a soup” “What about the old red hot poker up the arse?” “I’d like to nail him to a tree through the head and watch lice slowing crawl over his body eating off all the flesh”

“Has security checked this [plant]?” “For little terrorists?”

This is the problem with the public - they’re fucking horrible

Not only was it a shit idea to ruin my holiday, it was a shit idea you stole from the government to ruin my holiday

Ah that’s like smoking dead skin that is

You’re the fucking shittest James Bond ever - you’re David Fucking Niven!

You’re like a sweaty octopus trying to unhook a bra

You take the piss outta [Al] Jolson again and I will remove your iPod from its tiny nano sheath and push it up your cock! Then I’ll plug some speakers up your arse and put it onto shuffle with my fucking fist

I thought you said no one reads these except political obsessives and mad Christians in wheelchairs but loads of people read mine

“I am not the story here” “Well no you kind of are though Malcolm, they spelled your name right and everything”

Come with me before I put your nuts in a book and squeeze them so hard that they come out like pressed fucking flowers

You’re The Ben….Ben Nevis…Bentally Ill…

Tickety fuckity boo

“Anyone seen Jamie?” “Oh don’t tell me he’s gone feral cos he was fucking terrifying when you had him on the leash.”

I’d love to stay and talk to you but I’d rather have type 2 diabetes

Mr Baby New Potato Head

It sucks cock so deep the bell end is wearing your appendix as a little hat

This is an operations room so unless you want your tonsils out by keyhole surgery from this key here, piss off!

Cliff Fucking Lawton! Nice. Was the Cilit Bang man not available?

To a guy who loses it so bad he needs a sat nav to find his own nipples

I’m feeling about as up to date as a Gregorian calendar

“You couldn’t organise a bum rape in a barracks.” “Au contraire”

You’re about as secure as a hymen in a south London comprehensive

Stop fucking blinking or I will take your optic nerve and fucking strangle you with it

Hanging round like a couple of school secretaries in the summer holidays

It’s like a prostate consultant’s waiting room in here

You will be sorry you inflatable cock!

I am going to have your intestines as a skipping rope and your lungs sundried and turned into a fucking waistcoat

Or will Dan Miller pull his scalp off and use it as an oven glove?

Enough of the pleasantries let’s just oil up and get fucking

A towel rail shouldn’t take up a whole wall, that’s not a towel rail it’s a climbing frame.

I’ve got a to-do list here longer than a fucking Leonard Cohan song

More on my plate than a spinster at a wedding

The only other candidate is my left bollock with a fucking smiley face drawn on it

Feels a bit like my head’s made entirely of smoke alarms

Fuck the Is and fist the Ts

May as well ask what I think of skirting boards, I’m sure we need them but I don’t know why

“No no I didn’t say that” “Well you sort of did with your face”

Let me row back a little bit, perhaps all the way back to the boathouse

She’s not bent either in the sense of being corrupt or being gay and by the way that’s an incredibly homophobic headline you massive poof

Omnishambles, from bean to cup you fuck up

I’m on my way to wipe my arse on pictures of Nick Robinson

“And I’m not doing terribly am I?” [Malcolm looking out the opposite window] “I love the way they’ve sandblasted here. It looks so clean.”

No no, don’t get up - I’m not viagra

He’s a fucking knitted scarf, he’s a balaclava.

The only thing John Duggan is doing here is depriving a village somewhere of a twat

You write almost entirely in generic meaningless buzzwords don’t you?

I will tear your fucking skin off, I will wear it to your mother’s birthday party, I will rub your nuts up and down her leg while whistling Bohemian Fucking Rhapsody

She’s behaving like a squirrel in a pedal bin.

Or I’ll have to tear my eyelids off and scrunch them up into fucking earplugs

I’m flypaper for dickheads

I think you’re wrong Malcolm you’re like a sultana in a salad

Sorry I can’t make espresso but I’ve made this so thick and black it’ll be like drinking fucking plimsoles

Well fuck a pot noodle. Sam, prepare my horse. I ride to DoSAC

The only fucking vibe you need to worry about is the one your wife hides in her knicker drawer

See you later and remember my door is always locked

* Tintin’s sexy sister to Ollie

What I really need is to shoot you all in the back of the head FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. but I can’t because it’s illegal.

I reserve this level of anger for when I’m flying Ryanair

As about a strong defence as ‘the fertiliser in my homemade bomb was organic’!

She’s a fart in a frock and we both want her wafted out of here

She’s going to have to fall on her sword, which means that we’re going to have to stick one in the ground, trip her up onto it and get someone jump up and down on her back for ten minutes

She’s going to kick her own head in which’ll be easy because she does yoga

I’m looking for Mr Oliver Reeder? He looks a bit like a Quentin Blake illustration

“Is she fucked?” “Like Caligula’s favourite watermelon.”

Can I bring you a shot glass? And some bleach?

You can’t look a gift corpse in the mouth

“It’s over the fat lady’s singing” “No she’s not, the fat man from the go compare advert is talking”

I’ve got my cock out, it’s covered in breadcrumbs and the fucking pigeons are circling

Have I just stepped through a portal into a sausage machine because this is making mincemeat out of my head

Sit there and ogle me like a page three girl

I’m as busy as a two-twatted hooker

Now I have to step in your shoes but after you’ve shat in them

I don’t just take this fucking job home you know. I take this fucking job home, it ties me to the bed and it fucking fucks me from arsehole to breakfast then it wakes me up in the morning with a cupful of piss flung in my face then slaps me about the chops to make sure I’m awake enough to kick me in the fucking bollocks. This job has taken me in every hole in my fucking body.

Everything is fine I’m like lube at a funeral

If you pull off again I’m going to stick the meter so far down your throat you’ll be able to tell the price of your next shit

You closeted regency homosexual

It’s been a bit like renovating an old, old house. You can take out a sexist beam here, a callous window there, replace the odd homophobic roof tile, but after a while you realise […] the foundations are built on what I can only describe as a solid bed of cunts.

Shit in the couscous

[justlarkin]

Mentioning some events that I liked in the midst of beefing with LWs' writers. It's mostly due to very specific things that occur in the events rather than the events themselves to be completely honest with you.

-Casual and fun beach event. Can't go wrong there. Good moments envolving most of the characters. Nomad, Azazel, Kengo, and Oniwaka in particular for me. They deprived me of Azazel content, so this is my only morsel to latch onto. Plus we got SQ Galore, including ones for Mononobe and Lil Salomon.

-The softcore discussion of gender dysphoria was a pleasant surprise and I liked the parallels drawn between MC and Astarte as "trophies". In particular, I liked how this event revealed how much the other guys actually love MC. They were completely indifferent towards Astarte while she was the beloved, which was super weird to her, and when MC switched places with her, they immediately clocked that something was off, but not because they could visually tell MC was obviously not Astarte. They just thought Astarte was more radiant than usual. They were all over MC and giving away their shells because they're MC, not because they were the beloved.

-That scene where Heracles falls into Narcissus' Pond and he comes to the realization that his narcissism and cowardness was what led to Hylas' fate. He thought that a hero of his caliber was too precious to even risk being lost to the naiads, especially not for a guy who was practically beneath him. Heracles put himself before the life of his friend who was willing follow him to hell and back, abandoning him, and he regrets it. The parallels to Hylas' abduction with Heracles' fall as well as dialouge and narration as MC dives after him are an absolute banger. "I knew. I knew you'd come. Not by another's comand but your own free will. Your radiance makes me want to weep. Before you, the thought of the man who failed to follow Hylas makes me want to cry." MC took the leap Heracles never did for Hylas, making them a better person than himself. Such a great moment. Absolutely adored it.

-First of all, exile reveal. Second of all, the reveal that Shiro's crush is more of an all-consuming OBSESSION. Always thinking of them. Always following them whatever path they decide to take. Knowing that they relied on him was his greatest source of happiness. He wanted to help them, to shoulder any and all of their burdens in the hopes that they would eventually feel the same way as him. Shiro was desperately striving for an insane, unhealthy co-dependent relationship where MC validates him by constantly needing him to help them and it's just ?!?!? This came way out of left field.

-Algernon. Algernon. Algernon. I absolutely loved it when he randomly got jealous and tried to change the topic when MC called Yamasachihiko hot. I love that he found someone who could keep up with him, an equal, in MC. I loved that they did a little tapdance routine together while killing the slimes. Oh. And Hombre Tigre. I'm not really a big fan of him. I just really like how interesting his dynamic with Quetzalcoatl is compared to everyone else. Hombre adoring Tezcatlipoca so much that he couldn't even begin to grasp why Quetzalcoatl would leave him behind and envying him for being the one who could consume Tezcatlipoca's thoughts and breaking him in such a manner.

-Sherlock Nomad and Assistant MC, the event we had all been waiting on. Anyways, y'all should know why I liked this event. It's that one scene where they beat Hermes' and he's just sitting on the floor like a pouty little kid when MC grabs his hand and he continues his little tantrum by telling them to let go while doing nothing to stop them. Hermes finally found a friend who could look past all of his lies and accept him with MC and I'm very happy for the bastard.

-That whole chase scene where Balor reveals that he's actually been a twat this entire time and he goes after MC, trying to capture them, is mwah. Love it. Also when Boogeyman triggered that ratfuck, Balor's, PTSD with his sacred artifact just the reveal that Lugh never had a choice in the matter and that Balor caused this fate to be forced upon him, something that he feared for himself in the first place. And the reveal that Balor didn't exactly regret killing his grandson. It was just the fact that Lugh didn't choose to fight him himself.

-The way Vapula was completely indifferent to his golemns until the very end where they're all silently gazing out into the sea after Sand Dragon self-deleted while following orders and are clearly fucked up about what they just witnessed, truly understanding how morbid Sand Dragon's existence was and the inevitability of his death, when MC turns to Vapula and says "Vapula.... We never got to name him" and Vapula just starts BAWLING.

-Oh look. A well executed plot twist. Loved the way that they conveyed Horus and Seth's true bond through how compatible and fluidly their memories were able to work together to fight against the group. Then there's the use of Seth's old memories to reveal that Horus had been on his side the entire time and that he was even the one who let him flee Duat. Also, an expansion on what seemed to be such a simple rule. Being able to control the sand being way more powerful than expected through a technicality.

-This one might actually be my favorite event. No. Not because it's a Fuxi or bird event. Shut your slut mouth. Banger music, great story, great picks for the characters and the dynamics, an exile reveal. Fuxi being so unhinged that he tries to fight literal children and Simurgh playing the straight man to his funny man will always be funny. Also, there was just that one moment where MC went "pull the trigger pussy" while Simurgh held a gun to their head and that's so based of them. Mostly dissapointed we didn't get more Nüwa lore.

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

Manhwa Rec: Concubine Walkthrough

Remember when I made a whole post recommending a manhwa because no one else I knew read it so I could find someone to talk to about it? Well, we're back at it again a whole year later for me to tell y'all to go read Concubine Walkthrough. It's 128 chapters (with some bonus content) of pure excellence.

While on the surface looking like a typical otome isekai read of 'MC transmigrates into the body of a story's villainess', Concubine Walkthrough turns the genre on its head with its implementation of sci-fi, philosophy and political battles in addition to beautiful artwork and heart-wrenching storytelling. If you're a fan of The Apothecary Diaries and The Matrix, you will enjoy this ride thoroughly.

Concubine Walkthrough follows the journey of protagonist Yona Lee who in 2030, three years before the start of the story, played a game called Concubine Walkthrough. A popular and innovative otome game falling the protagonist Lili who has been forced to go to the imperial palace to become a concubine.

Max out the various stats Lili has to embark on one of many paths from marrying the emperor to royal imperial consort. Of course the one who stands as the pinnacle of obstructing your progress is villainess, Ranhee Seo, the royal imperial consort the terror of the imperial court.

Yona was only able to play this game to completion once in her life although the desire to complete other endings always remained. Three years later, that chance comes again when, for its upcoming anniversary, Concubine Walkthrough is having a special VR rerelease. That's all fine and dandy, what isn't fine and dandy though is the fact that Yona has woken up in the game without any memory of ever logging on. Furthermore, she's playing as the game's villainess, Ranhee.

Nothing she does will summon the game's menu and nothing she does let's her log out. The game master only gives her one requirement to exit the game, Marry the emperor and make Ranhee Seo the empress.

It's only then that Yona remembers that for the special VR release of the game, one of the promoted features of the rerelease was a co-op mode and she might not be the only player stuck in the game as she is forced to strategize and partake in deadly games within the world of concubines.

Through its storytelling, Concubine Walkthrough encourages both the readers and characters alike to contemplate:

If you woke up one day and realized your entire life was a simulation, does that make your life any less meaningful? Simulated it may have been, the pains and joys your heart experienced was still real to you. It's still your life.

What is reality and what does that mean to you? Is reality something you choose for yourself or is that choice made for you?

All wrapped in unique artwork, comedy gold and riveting political plots as you watch Yona survive plots on her life and has to strategize her get backs.

1) Beautiful Artwork

Concubine Walkthrough is one of the most splendid manhwas in terms of artwork. It's drawn intentionally to look reminiscent of traditional Korean artwork and is incredibly intricate from the hanbooks to the headpieces the various characters wear.

These are just a few of my favorite shots from the series but they are far from the only ones. From the very first chapter, you're getting hit with bangers in terms of the quality. Bongbong never misses.

2) The comedy is immaculate

From Yona getting stuck with shitty items like a hairclip that gives her the sense of smell of a dog but compels her to bark uncontrollably to getting a jar that's literally only full of candy.

Yona's luck with items is absolute dog water and because of that, she can find herself in some hilarious situations. She can't get anything good to save her own life and seeing how she has to make these items work is a treasure in its own right.

Even without that, Yona's dynamic with characters like Lili is quite hilarious as the story progresses.

3) The mystery & philosophy

Even Yona's eyes are representative of red and blue pills given to Neo in The Matrix.

If you're a fan of sci-fi, romance and want to read an otome isekai romp that subverts your expectations? Please read this manhwa. It's The Matrix mixed with historical Korean fiction (and of course, otome isekai at its finest).

I loved loved LOVED the philosophy behind the story, the themes. The discussion of what reality is and choosing what reality means/is to you.

Just because your entire life is a simulation, does that make your entire life up until that point irrelevant? Simulated it may be, your joy, your pain, your love, all of that still felt real, right? There were so many things I never considered about that very topic until I read this series.

4) The Characters

There is not enough time in the day to delve into the characters of Concubine Walkthrough. They're all layered, complex and you won't be able to get enough of them as the story progresses. Even now after finishing the story months later, I still want more content concerning the cast. From protagonists to side characters.

Yona is a very compelling protagonist from start to finish. She's active, rather than letting things just happen she gets the jump on what she can. Her intelligence and her empathy as well as her comedic genius is so fun to watch along the beautifully illustrated pages. Not to mention her chemistry with characters Lili and Youngjung is a sight to behold.

Sadly, despite how key Lili and Youngjung are to the plot, I cannot delve too deeply about them due to spoilers. What I can say, however, is that Lili is a breath of fresh air on the trope of having the original protagonist of the source material interact with the story's female lead.

And Youngjung? In a lot of ways he represents the themes I was discussing in my previous point.

And of course, I cannot mention Concubine Walkthrough without bringing up Sunshine in any capacity. The mysterious eunuch who has become Yona's ally in this game. Like Lili and Youngjung, I cannot delve too deeply into this character without major spoilers but just know that even when you think you finally have the grasp on this character, Bongbong will still manage to flip the script on its head and surprise you. Multiple times even.

ー

And I think that's enough singing praises for this manhwa (not really). Like I said, this manhwa is The Apothecary Diaries meets The Matrix wrapped up in the bow of the otome isekai genre. Not only do you get beautiful artwork but a vibrant cast and deep story along with it.

A violent yet captivating world of concubines with a strong splash of sci-fi sounds like such a strange mixture, but Bongbong blends them beautifully into one of the best stories I've ever read.

Please, and I cannot stress this enough, give Concubine Walkthrough a read.

[eliza-styx]

Ghost x Soap fics masterpost

It’s been crazy five weeks since I returned to writing fanfiction at full speed so I figured it’s time to highlight all the ghoap fics I wrote so far, in case anyone is interested in checking out my work. The fandom is really lively and so many fics are written for the ship that it gets lost in the sauce quite fast but I figure some of these are still bangers you may wanna consider reading!

1. Heart of Stone, Simon Riley A fluffy take on what could have happened in-between missions, it’s just tooth-rotting fest of cuteness with minor hurt/comfort elements

2. Simon and the Ghost

First fic I wrote for this fandom, a take on Simon vs Ghost internal conflict and his so totally mysterious feelings for Soap, a little sappy, a little humorous

3. Pillow Talk

Ghost’s survivors guilt gives him nightmares but Soap is there to hold him through it, a notch angsty, hurt/comfort, pre-slash

4. Hopeless Christmas Interventions

Soap impulsively invites Ghost to his parents’ house for Christmas and his parents treat him as if he was Soap’s boyfriend, which he totally, absolutely is not; it’s pure, unfiltered Christmas fluff and Soap’s parents are the parents we all deserve

5. Simon and the Soap

This is a nsfw sequel to Simon and the Ghost, they are switches in this one because why the heck not, pretty sappy for pwp

6. His Healing Touch

The angstiest take on Ghost’s trauma I’ve commited so far, mostly focuses on his sexual trauma and the trust between him and Soap that lets him reconnect with that side of himself, nsfw, bottom!Ghost, top!Soap, turns quite sappy and romantic

7. Dabloon For Your Thoughts

This is a crack!fic that people didn’t trust to read lol It’s fluffy, it’s cute and it’s not as ooc as you may think, it’s just them falling in love during a very unrealistic journey, based on a tiktok prompt

8. Chodź (Pocałuj Mnie)

The first ghoap fic to be posted on ao3 in Polish, it’s sweet and erotic (and someone said it reads well even through google translate)

9. Between Soft Strands A fluffy little thing about Ghost being obsessed with Soap’s hair and yearning to touch it, soft with just a dash of teasing

10. Don’t Tell Him It’s Me A loosely defined romcom au wherein Ghost and Soap sort of date before they meet on the mission but Soap does not recognize his “boyfriend” behind the skull mask

11. Overgrowth

Cute silly fic inspired by bearded Soap craze on Twitter, Ghost just has a thing for Soap’s beard

12. My Heart At Home

A collab with MizuShiba, companion piece for their stunning fanart!

13. Sweet

Just Soap and Ghost being sweet and vulnerable, slow dancing at night

14. Cat Dad

141 have a kitten now and it basically thinks Ghost is its mommy

15. Blowing Off Steam

Rated E, PWP with a sappy ending, sparring match gone sexual

16. The Sweetest Flower Wild Nature Yields

Flowershop AU

17. Trapped By You

Rated E, porn with a bit of plot

18. Rutting For You

Rated E, untraditional a/b/o, alpha x alpha, porn with a hint of plot, may have a sequel at some point

19. Slipping Up (co-written with Starry)

hurt/comfort, tw: for drinking as a coping mechanism

20. The Maskmaker

pure fluff, written for MW2 fic/art exchange

21. The Heart At Fault

angst with happy ending, hurt/comfort, tw character injury

22. Retraced

Rated E, porn with feelings, body imagine issues

23.Tenderly

Rated E, porn with feelings, ftm trans Soap

[thegeminisage]

STAR TREK UPDATE TIME! once again, i am behind. four-episode update 💀monday we watched ds9's "visionary" and voy's "emanations," and last night we caught voy's "prime factors" and "state of flux" which was a banger of a fucking evening tbqh.

visionary (ds9):

HEADLINE: ONCE AGAIN, O'BRIEN SUFFERS! he's become so dear to me that i get really distressed when this happens, but also a little excited, because his reputation for suffering is like the only thing i knew about him even when he was just an extra in the tng pilot, and i like knowing what's up

actually, he did a lot of swooning this episode, which was really fun. very damsel of him.

side bar kira gets so quiet when they're dealing with people she doesn't like. it's almost like sisko told her "fi you can't say something nice don't say anything at all" and so she shuts it to avoid undermining him (whom she likes and respects) in front of people like romulans or cardassians, whomst noses she would be happy to break.

i DO like that she got to get mad later, though. ESPECIALLY mad when they insinuated that odo had feelings for her. odo agreeing that this was absolutely ridiculous totally made my night. liar liar <3

back to the a-plot, obrien and julian having moved onto darts after wringing every last bit of joy out of racketball that they possibly could...this is so funny. julian is literally going through his wifeless year right there with him. he is such a good bro

which made it so distressing when obrien saw him in the future and was like BRO HOW COULD YOU LET ME DIE

julian's response of "i did everything i could to keep you alive for an hour" was very casual but i can just imagine him sweating bullets, deeply distressed. i'm sure it was a very long hour for him. i wish they had played it with a little more gravitas!

obrien seeing his own dead body TWICE was creepy. what's more horrific, OUR obrien basically kind of died. like, future obrien is a slightly different version of him. the obrien we've known since tng is dead and he never got to say goodbye to his family. like green shirt and black shirt john. i think i spent fifteen minutes of the next episode (which was about death, hilariously) going "OBRIEN JUST DIED? HE JUST DIED??" he even said he felt like it wasn't his life...........

monday was literally existential dread night. we brought up the mood after this with...

emanations (voy):

this episode was a pretty thoughtful look at te nature of death and what happens if you fuck up a culture whose belief in the afterlife is unshakable by shaking it up. that said, absolutely none of this is up my alley. GOOD for harry kim though. or um bad for him depending where you fall on that

i liked chakotay's story at the beginning about accidentally desecrating someone's grave. i was afraid they were having him be ultracautious about the dead bodies because they were being racist like oh he's aware because native americans are so Spiritual but he literally just picked up a rock once and felt bad about it. could happen to anyone. bullet tentatively dodged.

i have been referring to harry kim as chekov with brain cells but i think in this episode he lost the brain cell for a little while. he very much violated the prime directive with every word. dude, don't tell them you came from the asteroid with the dead bodies!

that said, i am no less fond of him - it was very compassionate to offer that guy a way out and VERY brave to get back into the death pod wearing the death shroud

it is crazy also that this place was in a whole other fucking dimension. this could easily have been a planet.

janeway & co waking that alien lady up and her finding out the afterlife is not real and that she still has to die anyway was really horrible and fucked up. like, they didn't even need to do that to get harry back. he got it on his own. they just tortured her for nothing <3

janeway at the end like i wanna give you time to reflect on what happened harry kim :) and harry kim is like yeah i should do that :) and theyre like yeah the afterlife might be real after all bc of the energy around this planet :) not my ass. there's not even a therapist on board. i would be back to work as QUICK as possible. who wants to reflect on getting into the death pod!!!

prime factors (voy):

HOLY SHIT.

here is the thing. if you let it, this episode will FUCKING take you places

wait wait let me go back and remark on some little details before i get into it. firstly, tom paris needs to stop trying to get harry laid. he'll cheat on his gf if and when hes ready and considering the extenuating circumstances we can't get mad at him bc for all he knows his gf thinks hes dead and has begin moving on too

also, smart of them to bring seska in for this episode when next episode she. you know. bc she's had such small parts so far that otherwise i'd be wondering who tf this even is. and she is HERE to cause problems on purpose! she's such a bad fucking influence i was absolutely aghast. more on this in the next episode but it's a wonderful way to show the maquis guys, who, lest we forget, FUCKING HATE STARFLEET, didn't all automatically hop on the starfleet bandwagon just because they're all stuck out here together.

i think janeway could have pulled a captain kirk in this episode ie fucked and sucked her way to victory. i mean, i'm glad she didn't have to bc that guy was SO skeezy, but she COULD have and it wouldn't have felt the way deanna's victimization in tng felt, it would have felt like kirk's close encounters in tos.

harry kim discovering the transport technology by accident when he's about to finally cheat onm his gf with some hot alien lady...poor harry. he has the worst luck recently.

and of course now we get to the big thing. the tech. the Big ethical dilemma. i LOVE that they quoted the prime directive here - like yes, of course it sucks for the aliens! it's also true what harry said that it still does more good than harm, but there has to be nuance involved...i still think it's stupid to let an entire culture die rather than save them, etc

you know, and i was sitting there like. falling out with this episode, is the thing. i was sitting there going jesus christ why is everyone being so STUPID why are they disobeying orders why aren't they thinking straight. especially after the huge plot twist of tuvok being the one willing to take one for the team, so to speak, and do the illegal dealings so he could save janeway's morality (WHICH: HELLO??? WHY DO THAT IF NOT FOR THAT FORBIDDEN EMOTION: FRIENDSHIP). like just wait to test the damn thing! tuvok is on his way to janeway RIGHT NOW!

but they're desperate. they're desperate and scared shitless and of COURSE it is making them stupid. they almost KILLED EVERYONE because they weren't being smart because THEY WANTED TO GO HOME. like, the scene in janeway's office at the end totally saved all of this for me. you can see on b'elanna's face so clearly she is facing her sins in the cold light of day and having the SAME THOUGHT PROCSS which is "how could i have possibly been so FUCKING stupid"

oh my god. i rewatched it twice. JANEWAY. did we know kate mulgrew could ACT? she was so emotional but still holding it together because SHE IS THE CAPTAIN. her whispered "dismissed" at b'elanna after she GAVE B'ELANNA A CHANCE. i would have sunk right through the floor. and her speech to tuvok!!! "you can use logic to justify anything that is its power and its flaw" LIKE HOLY SHIT GIRL. SAY IT, OUT LOUD!

sorry ik hes married but i also know hes gotta do pon farr eventually he and janeway could get it. like they could literally get it just as buds like one time. "we have forged this relationship over years and i depend on it" SHE LITERALLY DOES DEPEND ON IT! like, that was easily, EASILY the finest acting we have seen in this series so far. that scene CRACKLED. it was incredible. it took an episode i was losing faith in and flipped it around to one of my favorites. 10/10

state of flux (voy):

this one wasn't as good as the previous one but it was still pretty fucking good.

the mystery was really entertaining in this one and kept me guessing until the end. i kept going "no it's too EASY if it's seska" and then seska would trick me and everyone else into thinking she had plausible reasons for x suspicious fact and i would go SEE she's just complex! but she got me. and in hindsight it's SO obvious, and especially compared to lt carey who was a dick at first but fell in line and is working on his redemption arc or whatever. it wouldn't make sense narratively to send him back

chakotay refusing to take even ONE MORE BITE of that soup he wanted so bad after he realized seska essentially stole it. punishing himself ALONG WITH everyone else for the infraction. seska is such a good way to illustrate the tensions between starfleet and the maquis, even out here, and chakotay is in SUCH a rough position, having to both protect his own people AND keep them in line AND protect them BY keeping them in line. he and janeway both want the crew to be completely integrated but it's just not that easyyyy i love the complexity of it all

i feel like i recognized the filming locations in this one...yeah, all caves look alike but it looks so much like that valley outside the holo-city from ds9 and the save reminded me of that tng ep where picard and crusher got mind-linked

janeway was a sucker to let those kazon get that close. like of COURSE they kill the guy after the entire ship bled to save his life. but she's a well-meaning sucker. classic starfleet move

i also love chakotay's little crisis at the end. like, bro, am i that easy to trick? he is trying so hard and everything continues to fall apart around him!!! he hates cardassians and he was fucking one! dude is living in a nightmare scenario.

i hope we see seska again - they wrote her out when she just now got interesting. problems on purpose.

crack headcanon for a second there was maybe she was that woman they thought kira was in that one cardassian kira episode. that would have been way more interesting than her being cardassian on purpose, actually

TONIGHT: ds9's "distant voices" and "through the looking glass."

[misafornoone17]

Beatles album ranking, protože nejsem originální

(je jich 12 protože jsem ješte neslyšel Let It Be)

1) Abbey Road

2) A Hard Day’s Night

3) Revolver

4) Rubber Soul

5) Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

6) Magical Mystery Tour

7) Help!

8) The Beatles (White Album)

9) Beatles For Sale

10) With The Beatles

11) Yellow Submarine

12) Please Please Me

pokud chcete vedět moje názory více dopodrobna, jsou všechny pod čarou :)

to jest vše, užívejte zbytek dne!!

1) Abbey Road

- mám se vůbec vysvětlovat?? je tu vůbec nutné?? Tohle album je doslova masterpiece. Ta hudba je něco nepopsatelnýho, každá písnička je svůj kus umění. To jak do sebe zapadaj jako puzzle, že sami nevíte, kde jedna písnička končí a kde druhá začíná, je tak skvělý. Já to fakt nedokážu popsat. Oblíbená písnička je určitě I Want You (She’s So Heavy). Když tahle písnička začala hrát, já měl pocit, že jsem byl přenesen do jiného vesmíru, ne nedělám si prdel. Fakt tak dobrá ta písnička je.

2) A Hard Day’s Night

- já fakt nečekal že se mi jejich třetí album bude TAK moc líbit. Jako, já to ze začátku poslouchal tak, že jsem si k těm písničkám představoval moje OCčka a najednou se mi prý líbí každá písnička z toho alba?? Cože?? Jsem si řikal pozdějc že to není pravděpodobný, aby se mi fakt líbila KAŽDÁ písnička. Tak jsem si to album poslechl znovu, tentokrát bez toho představování a jo, fakt se mi líbila každá písnička. Doteďka nevím jak se mi to povedlo, ale teď mi to příjde spíš vtipný. Kdybych si z těch všech měl jednu vybrat, tak asi Tell Me Why nevim jestli do týhle blbý písničky přidali herák nebo co ale já si ji vždy pouštim nejmíň 3krát, protože je tak dobrá.

3) Revolver

- vy ani nevíte jak moc tohle album miluju. ten cover art je skvělej, opět beatlesaci navařili co se týče cover art designu. Ale ty písničky. Ty písničky, panstvo to je něco. Tohle byl fakt bod, kdy se jejich hudba začala měnit a já jsem byl 100 % pro. Moje asi nejoblíbenější písnička z Revolveru je Tomorrow Never Knows tohle je nejenom moje oblíbená písnička z Revolveru, ale jedna z mých nejoblíbenějších Beatles songů obecně. Tak dobrá je.

4) Rubber Soul

- tohle album bylo celkem dlouhou dobu u mě na posledním místě co se týče rankingu alb. Nevím na čem jsem v tý době byl, když jsem tohle poslouchal, abych se mi zalíbilo tak málo písniček, tak jsem si nedávno tohle album pustil znovu a kromě If I Needed Someone, se mi líbili úplně všechny. Bylo to jako bych reálně procitl, nebo co. Je to takové klidnější album, to jo, ale to se mi na něm líbí. Asi nejvíc se mi líbí Think For Yourself je to nejen fakt catchy, ale i celkem relatable.

5) Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

- opět banger album cover. Týpci fakt navařili opět. Já nevim co říct o tomhle albu, co už nebylo řečeno dávno předtím. To jak ty písničky do sebe přelívaj je fakt něco. Obecně všechno o tom je skvělý. Kdybych si měl vybrat oblibenou songu, tak to určitě bude Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (reprise) sorry guys, ta repríza je prostě lepší.

6) Magical Mystery Tour

- musím uznat, tohle album si držím mnohem blíž k srdíčku, než bych měl. Možná je to vinou toho nepopsatelně nádhernýho album coveru, jako pane na nebi, s tim oni fakt navařili. Ta hudba je něco fakt nádhernýho, tohle je fakt moment kdy mi došlo, že mám radši tu pozdější éru jejich hudby, cca 1966 - 70. Je to prostě takový víc kreativní?? idk jak to popsat. Oblíbená písnička z tohodle je stopro I Am The Walrus. Nedává naprosto žádnej smysl a já ji za to zbožňuju.

7) Help!

- Help! si asi budu muset znovu poslechnout, jelikož si moc těch písniček (myslím hlavně ty, které se mi líbí) skoro vůbec nepamatuju. Asi proto že mi moc nenaskakují když si pouštím hudbu, fakt nevím. Ale jinak je Help! fakt solidní album, kašlu na vás Dizzy Miss Lizzy je actually fakt dobrá songa, co s tim furt máte?? Anyways asi ta nej songa by asi byla obviously Help! co jiného se dalo čekat.

8) The Beatles (White Album)

- ah, to známé “Revoluce 9 album” Dělám si prdel, ale já silně uvažoval, že tohle album skippnu jen kvůli Revolution 9 a jsem mega rád, že jsem to neudělal. Jelikož je tu tolik písniček, je celkem těžký si vybrat jen jednu. Ale kdybych to měl rozdělit na ty dva disky, nebo jak je to rozdělený na Spotify, tak za první disk bych dal Glass Onion a za druhý Savoy Truffle Těch bangerů tam je samozřejmě mnohem víc, ale tyhle jsou asi moje nejvíc oblíbený.

9) Beatles For Sale

- musim se přiznat, i když je tohle album je jedno z jejich nejslabších, i když je lepší než jejich první. Doslova si nedokážu vybavit ani jednu písničku z tohodle alba u který bych na první pohled byl: “Jo to je z tohodle alba!” Ale i tak ty písničky, který se mi líbí, se mi fakt líbí. Ta nej z tohodle alba by asi byla I’ll Follow The Sun.

10) With The Beatles

- jejich druhý album a je určitě lepší než Please Please Me, ale pořád není nejlepší. Nevím jestli tohle album už bylo stopro originální, nebo jestli ještě obsahovalo covery, ale i tak je ok. Prostě v celku ok album, asi nej písničku bych dal Roll Over Beethoven prostě taková typická vypalovačka je to skvělý.

11) Yellow Submarine

- tohle je prostě jen album pro ten Yellow Submarine animovanej film. Jen pár písniček z tohodle alba bylo originálních, asi tři nebo možná čtyři jsou písnicky z minulých alb a zbytek je jen soundtrack ke filmu. Jediná worthwhile pisnička z tohodle alba je Hey Bulldog je to strašnej banger

12) Please Please Me

- ono dává smysl, že první album nebude to nejlepší. Ty písničky jsou dobrý, to neřikám že ne, jen prostě oproti těm ostatním je tohle to nejslabší. Kdybych si měl vybrat oblíbenou písničku, tak asi Do You Wanna Know A Secret? jelikož je prostě co se textu i hudby týče fakt dobrá.

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

McMusic 16 2001 Pop / Teen Pop / R&B / Pop-Rap

Resuming this intermittent Euro-trip that I've been on where I get snapshots of what different countries' pop landscapes were looking like at certain points in time, and today, for the first time ever, we're taking a look at 2001 Norway, with this 16th installment in one of the country's own Now That's What I Call Music!-type series, McMusic.

Now, usually when it comes to these types of ephemeral Euro-comps from yesteryear, I'm looking for three separate boxes to check off: one for a nice and poppy rush of nostalgia, another for a good tune or two that didn't do anything Stateside, and third, something that's so insanely dumb, bad, and Eurotrashy that you have to appreciate the beautiful mind that conceived of it. And while there is plenty of bad Euro music on here, unfortunately none of it falls into that highly sought after category of 'so bad it's good'; it's just unremarkably bad instead.

But with that said then, let's start with the nostalgia rush. There are a few instantly recognizable, intercontinentally classic y2k bangers on this album, but no tune among them happens to go harder than Destiny's Child's "Survivor," a song that took the group's criticisms and constant ribbing about their own personnel turnover to task and ended up resulting in the most ferocious and intense single that they'd ever made; an absolute, certified, string-frenzied bop that you can cathartically wallop a punching bag to 🥊😤. Beyoncé's entry is just so electrifying on this one, and the chorus' constant background chants of "What?" à la DMX, are super infectious too.

And then for something that didn't really do anything in the US, we have "Chillin'" by Modjo. Generally, before EDM got coined as a term, there was no outlet for electronic dance music on a mainstream level, discounting the largely cheesy 90s phenomenon of Eurodance. Some stuff managed to peek through a little bit, though, like Modjo's own "Lady (Hear Me Tonight)," but this French duo's follow-up single that sampled from Chic's disco classic, "Le Freak," was pretty sleek too. Shame America never developed much of a taste for house music back in these times, because with our total affinity for Daft Punk now, we seem to have societally missed out on a whole lot of this goodness.

And one last song I have for you all amounts to a Mandela effect kind of thing, but in reverse, because this is a track that apparently performed pretty decently in the US on a certain mainstream chart, but I don't think that anyone either knew it existed or that they remember it at all. But let's see. Ever heard of a co-ed rap group from Philadelphia and Brooklyn called Spooks? I have, but only because I've heard them on another one of these Euro-comps before. Spooks were enormous in Europe in the early 2000s, and one of their biggest singles, "Things I've Seen," which had a retro-60s cocktail lounge-Amy Winehouse-styled beat to it, was featured in the Laurence Fishburne-written, directed, co-produced, and starring direct-to-video film, Once in the Life, and also served as the theme song to the European version of the US TV series Dark Angel. And the music video for this song featured Fishburne himself in it too!

"Things I've Seen" managed to peak at just #94 on Billboard's Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Singles & Tracks chart, but it was #13 on the different Hot Rap Singles chart. And if you're an American who doesn't concern themselves with early 2000s Euro-popular music or has never seen that specific Fishburne project, then I think you're flat-out lying if you tell me that you remember this song. I feel like this thing has been memory-holed to the point of complete erasure.

So that's a little taste of the Norwegian commercial pop landscape of 2001. Didn't find anything mesmerizingly and uniquely awful here, but still ended up getting what I came for on two other critical fronts—some memory lane tunes and stuff that I've never really had much of an opportunity to be exposed to, outside of sifting my way through other releases just like this one 👍👍.

Highlights:

Destiny's Child - "Survivor" Nelly - "Ride Wit Me" Spooks - "Things I've Seen" Opus X - "Girl What's Up" Jennifer Lopez - "Play" Eve - "Who's That Girl" Modjo - "Chillin'"

[kayslibrary]

~His Heimat~

                                        Elijah Mikaelson x reader

A/N~ hello fine people of the internet! It tis i! Back with another BANGER lol, But in all seriousness I kinda missed writing and now that I have the writing juice I'm gonna take this time while I still have it to fill in on my projects including but not excluding my first ever oneshot! (well i consider it my first oneshot). 

Warnings~ none really, its 3rd person pov and i don't think i specified a gender for Y/N so this is for everyone. Enjoy!

Summary

Your boyfriend Elijah has been… absent in your day to day life due to many reasons but when you expressed his sudden behaviors to him, he thought it would be fun to have a nice date night in. wine, sappy rom coms and food, overall very heartfelt

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Lijah?” you call out in the dead of night. This has been the second night you haven't heard from him, the second night in a row you haven’t felt his warmth or…chilled touch. None the less you were getting fed up, so you grab your phone off your nightstand to call him for what seemed like the 100th time. “You’ve reached the voicemail box of-” the familiar voice sounds “god damn it Lijah” you Growl. For all you know he could be dead in a ditch somewhere, as you were in your head about what could've happened to your boyfriend a raspy voice pulls you from your thoughts. “Sweetheart?” Elijah calls out “Lijah” you sigh walking over to him. “I missed you..” he trails off “i've missed you too. Let me guess you’re gonna take a shower then head out again.” you say dryly against his chest “no i'm gonna stay” Elijah says getting undressed “you comin?” he asks walking into the bathroom “no i already showered you go ahead” you say silently.  

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Lijah you awake?” you ask, hearing his faint heartbeat as you lay on his chest. “Yes y/n what is it” he says moving slightly “i wanted to talk to you about us..” you trial feeling him move your body up as he shifts his body upward to look you in your eyes. “What's going on my dear?” he asks with concern.

 “You’ve been gone a lot lately, days on end dealing with god knows what and..i just wanted to know if you were still interested in me? Is it something i-” he cuts you off by his lips on yours “oh my..i'm so sorry my love, it was never ever my intention to make you feel this way. It was family issues and it’s completely my fault for not contacting you sooner” he says “how about tomorrow night..you. Me date night?” he asks “sure.” you say as you lay back down “thank you for telling me how you feel, i appreciate it” he says quietly as you both fall asleep in eachothers arms.

~~~~~~~~~~

“I'm clocking out Joane '' you Yell to your co-worker, Tonight was your date night with elijah. Nothing could stop the butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you walk to your car and get in, turning on the engine and driving to your shared home. When you arrived you thought you were gonna be coming home to an empty house but no, you walked into the smell of pasta encasing you in a warm sense of Heimat.Home. “babe? I'm home” you say as you see Elijah in all his glory. Decked out in his button down and slacks and to give his outfit a touch of you, he wore your frilly pink apron that had the words ``kisses for the misses” stitched on the front in big letters “hello my love welcome home..how was work?” he asks as he kisses you “it was good stressful but good” you smile taking off your clothes and walking upstairs to get comfy “well the foods almost done so take your time” he smiles. Sometime after you guys eat and get comfy on the couch, you both decided to watch the kissing booth for the 50th time. “I swear we’ve watched this movie more times than I can count” he chuckles as you snuggle up into him with the blanket “it's a good movie in my defense” you smile as the movie starts. 

~~~~~~~

“I swear it wasn't supposed to be this sad” you say tears filling your eyes as the end credits roll. “it's not sad at all my love you just have a low tolerance when it comes to very trashy movies like these” he smiles as he kisses your forehead. “This date night was awesome, thank you baby” you smile. “Anything for my little goddess you deserve all the good things in this universe. I'm sorry for making you feel neglected while I was busy. I hope I can make it up to you starting with this” he says with sincerity. “Of Course i get it. You were busy. Everyone gets busy but please next time, tell me when you go off the grid like that again” you say looking up at him “i will my dear.” he says smiling at you with his whole heart.

You are his whole heart. 

His Heimat.

A/N~ whew! That was so heartfelt. I almost cried…but i didnt CITY GIRLSSS UPP jk jk but how's everyone's day? Night? Evening? Etc etc I hope wherever you're in the world, I wish you luck, light and happiness. BUT can we talk about how hot Elijah would be with a wedding band on his finger?? CERTIFIED LOVER BOY  

[pagegirlintraining]

Please tell me all about Fuck The Monarchy and Other Hits

Hey :) So excited you asked about this one 😍 it was born out of an amazing prompt by @thefrizz13 and involves a fiercely anti-monarchy popstar!Simon and absolutely smitten fanboy!Wille. Basically they meet when Simon decides to be a little shit and serenade Wille onstage during one of his concerts. Also featuring, among other things, some highly suggestive Insta comments, the Royal Court meddling like it’s their job (hah), Simon writing some happy music about Wille for a change and, of course, Erik teasing the shit out of his brother.

This may have started as a one shot and evolved into a small (multi-chapter) epos. I may also be co-working with a certain someone 😏

And I know you didn’t ask but let me shamelessly include a little snippet here because waiting to share things is the worst 😅

Wille’s hand is slightly shaky as he reads the announcement on his phone screen for what must be the fifth or sixth time.

“See you on tour, babes 💜”

See, Wille wasn’t born yesterday. He’s aware musicians go on tour every once in a while, especially after they’ve just released a new album. He also knows that the singer in question has done just that about a month ago. Probably better than anyone, actually. Those twelve songs have been on repeat so much, he’s pretty sure his Spotify Wrapped will end up being all Simon Eriksson. Which wouldn’t be a bad thing whatsoever. Just one more way to make it official how big of a fan he is.

Which brings Wille back to the issue at hand. Simon Eriksson is going on tour. And Wille wants nothing more than to snag the first front row seat he can get his hands on. Which is probably any single one he wants, given his royal status. Unfortunately, that’s also what’s holding him back from clicking the ticket link attached to the announcement.

It’s not just that Simon is what Wille’s mother would call “flashy” - “that’s the opposite of easing people in, Wilhelm”- he’s also not exactly holding back about his distaste for the monarchy. Which is to say he’s gone so far as to write and release a song literally called “Fuck The Monarchy”. (It’s an absolute banger. Wille knows every line by heart.)

[caputgeratlupinum]

Robin of Sherwood 1.3: The Witch of Elsdon

We begin with slow-mo footage of, among other things, the Merry Men rolling around on the ground. This turns out to be Robin’s dream. No wonder he looks disturbed.

As well as bizarre dreams, this Robin also gets Vague Impulses telling him to Go That Way, which the everyone else is understandably unsure of, but hey, Robin’s the boss.

Meanwhile: witch trial. Guy insists that he can prove it: this woman and her husband have been casting curses.

Pictured above: definitely seen her doing witchcraft.

(In a twist that will definitely shock you, they don't practice witchcraft and her real 'crime' is refusing to sleep with Guy)

Robin and Co waylay a tax collector and rob him, because Robin saw it in his Mysterious Dream, though he doesn't explain this, possibly because he’s worried it will make him sound crazy. Then again, he's already given a speech about being the chosen son of Herne, so that ship has probably sailed.

"I had more freedom in Kirklees Abbey." She's. Not exactly wrong? Yesss explore what it means for Marion to leave her life behind and join the outlaws (but also Robin please let your wife be more part of things)

"Do you think I'd want to go on living without you?" OH OUCH that's some. Well. Things that hit different when you know how season 2 ends.

Back with the Sheriff, he's come up with the brilliant idea of using Jennet (the woman accused of witchcraft) as a mole to catch the outlaws.

Behold, his pardon for her:

I feel he should have better handwriting than this.

Oh hi Martin and James, I don't remember you, which doesn't bode well for your chances of survival, but hopefully I'm wrong.

We love to see a Robin Hood who actually does steal from the rich and give to the poor! (And of course it helps keep the peasants on good terms with the outlaws, which is pretty important)

We also love to see the Merry Men just hanging out and scrapping and being lads!

Jennet, having taken shelter with the outlaws, has put a herbal... something into their... tea? Soup? Some kind of drink. And thus we are brought to the slow-mo rolling around again.

Yeah that's how I feel too Will.

We return to the Sheriff, who is busy demonstrating his antisemitism, and then drops a line suggesting that the Abbot abused him as a child (I've still got the scars). I don't think we ever go into this again?

Anyway, Guy is off to arrest/kill the outlaws now they are all unconscious, only as soon as he gets there they all leap up and start fighting. I *think* this is something to do with Marion but honestly I'm not clear. These episodes always have a lot going on.

The outcome of all this is Guy being tied up and dunked in the river as if he's on trial for witchcraft by the outlaws. "Animals!" he splutters, to which Much responds, "What’s wrong with animals?" Same, Much, same.

(Robin’s response is, "animals, are we? Who took away our rights as men?" Which I personally think is a banger of a line).

Will is strongly in favour of killing Guy, for which I can't really blame him, but obviously Robin disagrees.

Robin, dressed as Gisbourne (nice nod to the og ballads) goes to the Sheriff to get Jennet's husband back in exchange for Guy, as the Abbot begs "No swords, Robin, no swords!)

Hey, that armour looks pretty good on you, Robin.

And with that, Jennet and Thomas head off into the sunset back to the village.

"Brings tears to your eyes, doesn't it?" "It will do if you don't get off me foot."

[thesinglesjukebox]

JELLY ROLL - "HALFWAY TO HELL"

Our highest-scoring single to date from any artist threatened by Waffle House...

[4.40]

Taylor Alatorre: Whitsitt Chapel is a solid album, but "Halfway to Hell" is something a teacher might put on the overhead projector to illustrate how not to write a thesis statement. "Webster's Dictionary defines 'backsliding' as..." and so forth. The single spells out its themes with such unvarying bluntness that it feels like an ill-fated attempt to clone the entire album in miniature. It's understandable that an erstwhile Memphis rap understudy would want to sand down his pill-popping, sizzurp-sipping past in order to meet his big Nashville moment; we wouldn't be writing about him otherwise. But when you start a song off with such a beguiling audio fragment of a Baptist sermon at the outer edges of the universe, then smother it in the cradle with a bunch of Mad Lib dualisms and Truck Month theatrics, the calculated inoffensiveness threatens to actually offend. [4]

Andrew Karpan: Another somewhat singular creature of country music's endless push for authenticity, this time produced by the same label as Jason Aldean, with a kind of dirtbag grit that would make Post Malone blush. Which is to say that it's a record that creaks and growls — often convincingly — but to what end? [4]

Alfred Soto: Decent rumbler halfway between Eric Church and Mumford and Sons. If I'm honest with myself, Morgan Wallen's done this rue-on-a-Sunday better of late.  [5]

Nortey Dowuona: Zach Crowell was part of the production crew that made Sam Hunt's "Body Like a Back Road." He was also part of the production team of "Kinfolks." So in theory, he should be able to produce a barn-burning gospel country record, but instead he produces a thinly rendered WWE parody of such. The problem is at first the drumkit. The kick pattern of the first verse is solid, allowing Jelly to take hold in the mix, swell up during the pre-chorus, and soar into the chorus itself. But the loud snare smacks in the second verse and chorus distract from the banal lyrics; the line about a chariot carrying him away is the only one that's compelling. You could never tell this man has actually survived the reality of dancing between sin and salvation because the production is neither lush and glossy enough to carry him away, not rough enough to sweep him into hell. Which makes me think: Where's the Zach Crowell who produced "2016"? [4]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: This is such a WWE entrance theme banger – I'm finding it hard to critique without imagining flamethrowers and dramatic ring walk spectacle. What do you even do with something this overwrought when you just hear it on the radio or in a playlist? [6]

Mark Sinker: This guy takes the first two-thirds of jazz co-inventor Ferdinand Joseph LaMothe’s very well-known stage name and fuses it with maybe-unmeant echoes of AC/DC / Chris Rea title-fu. As a mode of faith, this should (by the demands of its expressed content) be more generic in form than not, that to believe is to be one of billions in similar plight, while the One that’s truly Original and Particulate is the Inexpressible Object of the Belief… and so all along the lines, until it rides off into its wide-open infinite expanse of many-times-heard-before reverb. And counter this, a reason not to concern-troll an entire religion is that any church with actual-real riz will be divided against itself.  [4]

Oliver Maier: Jelly Roll nooo stop you're not supposed to drink the holy water!! Noooo he can't hear me over the terrible mix!!!! Jelly Roll NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! [2]

Ian Mathers: I've been re-reading Ada Palmer's Terra Ignota series recently, where (among many other things) the future setting has in its past a series of religious wars so terrifying that by the time of the books it's illegal to proselytize. You can believe whatever you want and discuss it with your personal religious counselor, but making it any kind of cultural signifier, let alone ammunition in any kind of cultural conflict, is absolutely taboo. The setting is an interestingly fraught mix between a utopia and a dystopia, but I gotta admit, the whole "don't talk about religion" bit sits pretty easily with me these days. [3]

Isabel Cole: Maybe it’s my choirgirl past talking, but “this little light of mine / damn near burned me alive” is a delightful piece of cheeky blasphemy. The rest of the song isn’t terrible, but nothing else feels as specific or as evocative as that. The chorus has some potentially decent ideas that are washed out by the mix into an undifferentiated wind of wailing, and the production refuses to entertain any kind of dynamism. (It feels like a very basic expectation for the song to drop more dramatically before the explosion into the final chorus, but it just… doesn’t….) Jelly Roll, meanwhile, hits his marks fine, but he never sounds like a man condemned, unless your idea of hell is a particularly divey karaoke bar. [5]

Brad Shoup: "This little light of mine/damn near burned me alive" is a nice contribution to the dirtbag hymnal. But it's buried in a mudslide of the hoariest crazy/beautiful imagery: booze and Bible verses, angels and devils, self-destruction and salvation. It's twanged out but has the overdrive of hair metal, with a light disco shuffle. The result is not unlike a 2010s Carrie Underwood crossover, but with a lot less fear of God. [5]

Katherine St. Asaph: Is one snippet of a sermon really enough to summon hellfire unto a song? Perhaps not, but who else is trying? [7]

TA Inskeep: Quit bellowing, man. As much as I hate invoking these names, this is (Kid Rock rapping) x (Nickelback’s guitars) + banjo, and it = nothing I need or want to hear again. [2]

Hannah Jocelyn: I liked "Need a Favor" more than I should have -- it's definitely a dirge, but I would have given it a [6] for the part of me that enjoyed listening to Nickelback as a mini-Hannah. This doesn't work, though it does answer the long-pressing question of "what if Rascal Flatts wasn't even a little bit of fun?". [4]

Dave Moore: For a few moments during this I'm transported to the glorious few months of Big 'n' Rich's alt-weekly champions and ensuing message board conversations, which was the last time anything I'd have to say about hip-hop and country might have sounded even remotely fresh. Accordingly, this feels about twenty years too stale, though I'm happy enough for Jelly Roll's success. [5]

Daniel Monteshenko: Sure, it sounds like a rousing song for the antagonist to sing in act two of a critically derided Broadway jukebox musical. Yup, it's as clichéd as any song you've ever heard mention hard liquor, the Cross and "mama." Of course the title's reverse SEO'd to capture unknown AC/DC fans. And you know it's overproduced, airless and a product of the loudness wars. But damnit, that's a hell (heh) of a chorus. [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[steinwayandhissons]

right so i finally have time to sit down and gather my thoughts - today and yesterday were so chaotic and im running on 4 hours of sleep after doing my grade 8 music theory exam today back in london (probably not a good idea in hindsight but oh well) - sorry in advance for the super long post

oh my god this was one of the most surreal, incredible experiences of my life - it was my first ever gig (other than classical music concerts which are a very different experience!) so everything seemed a bit alien (like the waiting times between acts - that shits long af)

first of all, why was the journey 100x more stressful than the exam i had that morning? i hate british trains - a couple of close calls, a cancelled one 😡 but luckily we made it, bought the merch (poster + tshirt - they were extortionate but im a sucker so i let them take my money) and started queuing (also stressful)

we got in and rushed to the front - we were pretty close, but not right at the barrier, had to ask to swap places with some tall people cos im short and waited

finally the mysterines came on, i listen to their music so i knew the songs they played - they were amazing, but the crowd was kinda dead at that point. the hives were also incredible, you could tell they’d been in showbusiness for a while - the crowd interaction and stage presence was crazy and the crowd definitely responded more enthusiastically

then the main course: it was wild as soon as they walked out the crowd went berserk - during the whole concert they were deafening we were all screaming the lyrics and the riffs i could barely hear the monkeys at times, even during the ‘less popular’ songs it was still very loud (although less loud than the popular ones🤨)

a really cute moment in crying lightning after the solo when he mouthed ‘i just made that up’

they played ritz!!!! oh man singing the dadadadadas back to them was unreal, he got really into the instrumental bit, also at the end of the song he swung his guitar like a golf bat

during 4/5 he blew a kiss to the crowd after singing ‘the only time that we stop laughing is to breathe or steal a kiss’ and gestured to jamie like a gentleman who went centre stage for the outro

there was also a little beef going on next to us where a lady and her obnoxious son started pushing people cos they spilled their drinks, but they got reported and left 😬

mardy bum and fluo made me tear up, i was just basking in the feeling that i was there seeing them in person after all this time following the setlists and each of the concerts virtually and I WAS ACTUALLY THERE at one of the shows like the ones i tracked

there was a beautiful piano interlude before high - i think he was singing “im fucking warmed up now” with a little giggle it was very cute also his voice 🙏 ascending to the heavens

perfect sense was PERFECT! he got out the acoustic and me and my sister were both sobbing my heart couldn’t take it - i posted a video where you can definitely hear a sniff and some cry-singing

when the mirrorball came down during mirrorball i literally lifted my hands and praised the gods for whoever was responsible for creating this man and this band, and they kept it for 505 (he did the neck thing!)

oh my god the body paint outro was fucking insane i was literally standing there in awe as they went off

also after they left before the encore i was terrified they weren’t going to play sculptures cos that’s what happened at i think the last gig so me and my sister were literally manifesting and praying and THEY DID!!!! in the video i took you can literally hear me saying holy shit and celebrating (should i post it and do a voice reveal… also if i do post it you can hear me singing along at the beginning it sounds so bad i swear normally i can sing in tune but i literally could not hear myself it was so powerful)

finally dancefloor and r u mine were bangers, crowd went crazy again

it was funny that you could instantly recognise the tiktok fans by the difference between when 505 played vs mirrorball for example. there was also this tall guy who was standing next to us and slowly started migrating in front of us during the course of the show and he was just there didn’t sing along to any songs didn’t put his arms in the air - the contrast between me screaming all the lyrics to pretty visitors (yes that was my time to shine) and him just standing there 🤷‍♀️ like that’s embarrassing at this point could never be me

also regarding the people who didn’t like how they couldn’t sing along because alex slows the tempo this is absolutely fucking false - he plays with the tempo slightly towards the ends of songs or the ends of sections, which was actually very tastefully done but other than that the tempo was very constant - some songs like teddy picker and pretty visitors were actually even faster than their studio versions

also i was on the tube on my way back and overheard this guy say to someone else that he looked younger than alex (he was 43) - this guy was balding, with greying hair and an almighty dad bod and all i remember thinking is ‘not with that hairline you dont’

but oh man all of them were showstopping - matt truly is an agile beast on the drums, jamie’s solos always slapped, nick was perfect as usual - i was sad i couldn’t see him much from the other side but his blue trousers 🥰, of course alex 1000000% delivered, he was so commanding and mesmerising to watch, despite not having the ostentatious and flamboyant stage presence of say the hives - there was just something inwardly spellbinding and otherworldly about him

anyway i was completely knackered (standing tickets are no joke!) and i had to get up in less than 5 hours for my exam - was completely dead 👍 but this was a complete and utter dream, id been so excited for over 8 months to see them in person. anyways i never want to see another human being ever again god there were enough people there to last a lifetime

also a bit of a ps - it was a bit weird travelling into london again today, i was listening to my playlist on spotify with headphones and every time an am song came up, i felt a bit sick to my stomach, but not in a bad way, it was just because i was hit with the feeling that nothing could ever compare to seeing them live, and the revelation of ‘oh shit i saw them play this song yesterday irl’ kind of rattled me and the fact that it’ll be a few or even more years when they release a new album and tour again and ill never be able to witness this again until then when im so much older was crushing…..

now that it’s over -> yay post concert depression

again sorry for the long post 😭 xxx

[silentprincess17]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by my wonderful friends @zeldaelmo and @zeldadiarist

__

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

28 :)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

284,149!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Legend of Zelda :) My first ever video game series that still has me on chokehold from the age of 10 lol

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Sometimes Things Have To Get Worse Before They Get Better A Hero Indeed

Sometimes better is only an illusion

A fated meeting

Sugar

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try my best!! I write for myself and be free of those weird whimsical scenarios that enter my brain at 5 am lol but I post to share with everyone and interact with the fandom :)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooh that is difficult. Lots of my fics end with uncertainty and deal with angsty themes throughout. Probably the angstiest is sometimes things don’t get better they only get worse (featuring Yiga Link realising who he actually is)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Ahaha please see above 😂😂😂 But probably that’s my regency Arranged marriage Zelink fic Sugar

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I don’t think I’ve ever gotten hate hate you know? Most of my comments are super wholesome :)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

That is one thing I won’t ever write. Not because of some moral high ground or anything like that, mostly because I don’t really write fics that would make sense to have smut within them.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Nope haha. I’ve referenced other fandoms in my fics sure (ten from doctor who my bae) but other than that no.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Don’t think so!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Another no! That’d be super cool though.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I did once! Nothing that’s published actually. It was before I wrote anything serious- my mate and I exchanged a google doc during the early days of the pandemic. Nothing much came of it but that’s actually what kick started my eventual fanfic writing!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Let us examine my tumblr heading and AO3 page… let me know if this remains unclear 😂

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Sadly my series on what happened 10,000 years ago. I have written the next two whole fics (200k words lol) but nothing beyond that. It seems like too huge a project now with how busy life is.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Tough question aha I do like my dialogues and I think my plots are generally robust!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I can sometimes do too much telling and not enough showing. Working hard to try and make more balanced!!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Oooh that would be fun! I speak 5 languages and I sometimes incorporate bits and bobs but I’m always conscious of the fact that people generally may not understand it. And what is the reason for the alternate language?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

LoZ

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Gosh. You really ended this with a banger lol. Uhhhhhh Long fic is probably A Hero Indeed (mighty mental effort went into this lol) and one shot is An Eternal Darkness that Hides Echoes of a Time Past :)