#'cause I have this headcanon
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marionluth · 6 months ago
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* Tony, Peter and Pepper, right after watching a movie Peter had chosen for movie night *
Tony: * concerned * Peter, if you need to talk to someone…
Pepper: * snorts out a laugh*
Tony: Peps, this is serious! I mean, if he actually enjoys this kind of movie, we might need to seek professional help!
Peter: I can't believe you're trying to bash ‘The Time of The Gypsies! I mean, sure, it’s not Star Wars, but it is a masterpiece!
Tony:
Pepper: Kid’s right! We can’t keep watching only action and sci-fi flicks and listen to your incessant bashing of their tech inaccuracies!
Peter: And… That movie is incredible!
Tony: That movie made no sense! The only cool part was the damn turkey! And they cooked it!"
Peter: Pepper, I'm afraid there is no hope…
Pepper: Don't I know it, kid? Thank God I got you, now.
Tony: That’s it! Fri, play The Transporter! I need to cleanse my brain! And you two just lost your movie-picking privileges for the next three movie nights.
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lilislegacy · 2 months ago
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You know how we all love to say Percy and Annabeth are everyone’s parents? Well I literally think their friends treat them that way.
You messed up and now a dark force is out to get you and you don’t know how to handle it? Call Mom (Annabeth). She will know exactly what to do and she’s going to bring research. She’s not gonna let anything happen to you.
You need to go to a really scary monster lair and you’re scared of getting ripped to literal shreds? Call Dad (Percy). He will kick its ass and protect you at all costs. He’s not gonna let anything happen to you.
Feeling overwhelmed after moving? Call Mom. Annabeth will bring homemade cookies, unpack everything in an orderly yet efficient fashion, and then sit down with you, listen, give advice, and then help you make a plan.
Got arrested? Call Dad. Percy will want to know what happened and make sure you’re okay, but he’s not gonna judge or scold you. He’ll pay your bail, take you for ice cream, and then tell you his own stories about getting arrested.
When people need advice about men, they call Annabeth. When people need advice about women, they call Percy. Because who better to ask than the couple who’ve been super happily married for what feels like forever (even if they’ve only technically been dating for 6 years or something).
Dating someone new? Mom and Dad do NOT get to meet them yet. Percy and Annabeth are going to be unnecessarily intimidating (in different ways) and scare the person away SO fast. And if the person somehow passes the test, then Percy and Annabeth are going to go back to bickering and flirting and overall just being so embarrassing.
Mom and Dad are a couple of menaces, but they also know how to handle anything and will always come running if you call.
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38sr · 1 year ago
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young smallville meets young gotham
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reichurine · 4 months ago
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bodyswap au but a bit of a sad take oops, pt3
pt2 here
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umblrspectrum · 2 months ago
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oh yeah i forgot to post this here too
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zephyrchama · 9 months ago
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It was dinnertime in the House of Lamentation. Conversation petered out as everyone focused on the hot food in front of them, leaving a quiet lull interrupted only by clinking silverware.
“I’ve always wanted a traditional church wedding,” you said, entirely unprompted.
The clinking came to a stop as the seven brothers processed what you had just said. They turned their eyes towards you.
Beelzebub was the first to break the silence despite his mouth full of food. “Huh?”
“I just always thought it would be nice. A quaint wedding in a nice little church. Maybe a chapel.”
Leviathan briefly choked on what he was chewing.
“Oh I totally get it!” Asmodeus empathized. “Rows of pews with white flowers, those high arched ceilings, the evening light of the human world sun shining on us through a beautiful stained glass window as we kiss? Oh!” He clutched his shoulders, “it gives me chills just imagining it!”
“Asmo, we can’t enter churches,” Satan stated matter-of-factly. The knife handle gripped in his fist started to bend.
“Hah!? What? Lucifer, is that true?” Mammon slammed his fork down and just about jumped out of his chair as he shouted at the oldest.
“Sit down, Mammon.” Lucifer rubbed his temple and tried to perform damage control before the inevitable headache set in. “What brought this on suddenly?” he asked you.
Keeping a straight face was immensely difficult but you pulled it off. “I was just thinking about weddings and stuff, y’know. It’d be nice. Ever since I was little I thought a church wed-”
Belphegor interjected with “You’re not even that religious.”
A flood of complaints washed over the table as everyone started loudly protesting.
“You… You’re not allowed to get married anywhere without me!” Leviathan shouted.
“Does it have to be a church? What about a restaurant instead?” Beel suggested, looking worried. “I know a lot of pretty ones.”
“We could build a mock church in a studio and get married there,” Asmo fantasized. “The stained glass could be you and me as cherubs, we can ask Luke to be the flower boy. He’d be so cute in a little tux!”
“You wouldn’t even need a ceremony with me,” Belphegor said. “If you really want one, we can have it outdoors under the stars.”
Satan’s knife was bent at a 90-degree angle. “What a stupid thing to say. Libraries are just as quiet and nice as churches. Probably. They sure suit you better than a church.” 
“The restaurants also have in-house catering,” Beel continued.
“That ain’t gonna happen!” Mammon bounced his knee, shaking the entire table as he lamented, “I ain’t lettin’ my human get married in some church! We can go anywhere you want! Anywhere else!”
”There’s a church in my game!” Leviathan gasped. He thought an in-game wedding would be just as good as a real one. “I can show you! We can go now! Lets make you a character!”
Lucifer cleared his throat once. Then twice. The third time was a warning that got lost amid all of the whining. “Enough,” he finally growled. The room went silent for him. “You’re not getting married in a church. End of discussion.”
“Oh.” Weird of him to decide that on his own, but you were at your limit. A wide grin had already spread across your face. “Yeah, ok. By the way this roast you made is delicious.”
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samaraxmorgan · 6 months ago
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Crack JJK headcanons but it’s all early 2000s uncle Sukuna:
The spiritual successor to Crack JJK headcanons based on nothing but vibes. Send me your own silly headcanons I would absolutely love to read them!!
2003-2007
He desperately tried to make Yuuji’s first word be “fuck.”
He got so sick and tired of having to watch the same Barney VHS tape while babysitting that he ripped the film out and blamed it on toddler Yuuji.
Yuuji always begs him to draw his tattoos on him every time he babysits.
One time toddler Yuuji broke Sukuna’s flip phone in half. Sukuna was too impressed to be mad at him for it.
2008-2013
He brought five year old Yuuji to a Slipknot concert and had him up on his shoulders with big noise cancelling headphones on… and also “forgot” to ask Jin permission to bring him beforehand.
He tried to do a trick on Yuuji’s razor scooter and accidentally broke it.
He took Yuuji with him to Warped Tour.
He got really embarrassed when Jin showed Yuuji his high school yearbook photos of him with a mohawk.
He has a leather jacket with pins and patches all over it and Yuuji LOVES wearing it when he comes over.
2014-2017
He cut Yuuji’s hair when he got into middle school and told Jin “I’ll be damned if my nephew has a bowl cut.”
When Yuuji got into a fight at school he asked him “did you win?” When Yuuji said yes he took him to get ice cream.
He had a white iPhone and dropped it, cracking the glass on the back; Yuuji colored in the cracks with neon pink sharpie.
The first time Yuuji snuck out Sukuna chewed him out when he got back home, telling him “I don’t care if you sneak off, but you fucking tell me next time.”
Whenever Yuuji gets in trouble at school, Sukuna is always the one to pick him up because the principal is afraid of him.
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finsterwalds · 8 months ago
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Thinking about better call saul if the action took place in france just because I wanted to see them in cunty robes lmao. More thoughts under the cut!
Obviously the action and the whole premise of bcs/brba wouldn't work in france (legal system aside, the whole cartel and walter white storyline would have to suffer major changes due to social security and the mexican cartel well. not existing here stricto sensu). But let's talk about the real Important Stuff : their names
I think Howard Hamlin would work well as Edouard Hamelin. He looses the cool HH initials yes, but it works really well as a genuine french name imo, and Howard/Edouard are pretty close phonetically
Chuck could still be called Charles without any realism issue, but he'd be nicknamed Charlie rather than Chuck because that's what a french person would go for... nicknames don't work the same, yeah
Kimberly Wexler and James McGill, I have no idea lmao. James when translated becomes Jacques, but it's such a boomerish uncool name that I cannot resolve myself to call my boy like that. It's also one generation too old. Jimmy being born in '60 could technically be called Jacques, but it'd be old-fashioned, as it's a name mostly given to the kids of the decade that came before him. McGill is an irish name, so something funny could be making Jimmy a breton with a funky last name like Gall/LeGall ? That's hilarious to me. But who knows.
Saul Goodman is a pun, so this is even harder for me to conceptualize. Saul's marketing would definitely not work in france at all, as no one would realistically hire a lawyer with a puny name and such chaotic displays (+ I think ads for legal démarchage are illegal mind you). However, let's have a crack at it. It would have to be a pun based off an expression similar to "it's all good man", or implying something positive and familiar... I need to think on that one.
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aballadforbarbatos · 9 months ago
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diavolo makes a pact with you
well, you never know
once upon a time, he brought it up to lucifer and barbatos
they shot him down immediately
receiving a lecture is bad enough but imagine receiving one from BOTH lucifer and barbatos
rip
he takes it like a champ tho. he’s way better than me cause i hate getting told off
years pass
the devil’s pudding event happens. diavolo almost learns his lesson that day.
like he says he has but there’s a lot of times where that memory crosses his mind and he sits there like huh. wish that could happen again
YOU learnt the lesson though, so it’ll NEVER happen again
if he brings it up on his birthday there’s a good chance you will look at him with disdain
he’s catching up on paperwork when something crosses his mind
maybe you’d be more into it if you had a pact with him?
the lecture he got from his two closest friends though was pretty awful though
but…
what if it was in secret?
what if, and he’s just throwing out ideas here, he gave lucifer a ton of work and made barbatos go on holiday and summoned you to his castle?
hypothetically.
you know, a will-never-happen scenario.
barbatos appears at his door soon after that.
“hey, barbatos. what did you need?”
“oh… nothing. i just got a bad feeling, that’s all.”
oops
another year goes by and the idea pops into his head again, about the same time as he sees you cuddling up with mammon
Right.
diavolo’s situation and this isn’t even remotely the same, because you don’t need a pact to cuddle and mammon is your first so he’s on a separate level altogether, but he chooses to ignore these details
it’s barbatos’ birthday. he gets sent off. hearing complaints, diavolo threatens him with two weeks
lucifer weirdly gets hit with a ton of work randomly. damn that’s crazy huh. do your best!!!
and you are summoned to the castle. you also get a bad feeling.
he tries to convince you that having a pact with him is a good idea
(some people are normal about this; i am not and wouldn’t need convincing personally)
you refuse.
if you bring this up to lucifer if he asks about your visit he is so screwed
ah, but maybe he could make you his unwilling partner in crime…?
pulls a lucifer and forces it on you. suddenly you have a big fancy mark around your neck.
he’s pretty proud of it. you cover your face with your hands and go oh my god.
it feels like it could be exasperation but he would really prefer for it to not be that
lucifer asks what diavolo wanted you for and you weakly say it was for new clothes. new clothes that conveniently hide your collarbone
all of this is unraveled when someone (mammon) walks in on you getting dressed and screams bloody murder about the weird MARK on your neck
pacts are permanent and so is diavolo getting lectured
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mummer · 4 months ago
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jace being the first one to jump to call valyrian exceptionalism a farce ties so well into his bastard identity and the fact that he’s had to baldly lie about himself for his entire life to fit the image of the perfect heir…. like of course he would understand that better than anyone. people have died to protect that lie, his lie! rhaenyra telling him this garbled incoherent nonsense prophecy like it changes anything about what they’re doing or why they’re doing it. little normcore guy in targ family hell beating down his bad rebellious thoughts with a hammer every morning trying to reconvince himself of the lie, of the idea he could be the perfect shining promised prince but he knows something is Wrong. a totally mundane trivial death at the centre of the spiral. quentyn voice i must be the hero the hero never dies.
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cuepickle · 2 months ago
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“Bet you haven’t seen this much ass in your life, Indiana”
Harringrove!College AU. Billy’s talking about all the girls at the rush, but all Steve can think about is all that ass right beside him.
(Also Steve is probably the first person to use a wine glass at a frat rush but he’s just rich & out of touch bougie like that)
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kraenny · 8 months ago
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The gang is here
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startagainaprologue · 3 days ago
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(for change, for help, for family.)
happy in stars and time anniversary!!! one of my most favorite games of all time, and one thats had an incredible impact on my life. thank you for a wonderful year
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justaz · 6 months ago
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king merlin after meeting lady guinevere and sir lancelot’s baby and falling in love: arthur. i want a baby.
king arthur, not looking up from his paperwork: …what?
merlin: give me a baby.
arthur, sighing: merlin, you studied to be a physician. i don’t think i have to be the one to tell you how impractical that is.
merlin, rolling his eyes: this is why i’m the brighter side of the coin
arthur, finally looking up: wha-
queen merlin using magic to transform her body: i. want. a. baby.
arthur:
arthur:
arthur: *stands up from his desk so fast his chair topples over, multiple parchments flutter to the ground, his tunic is already off*
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edwinisms · 5 months ago
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you know. I think the reasons it feels so literally narratively wrong when people refer to charles as being straight (such as in interviews where his love life comes up and so on) are that A) he’s never deemed outright straight in the show, so it’s just an assumption that he must be straight by default (which is silly in a show like this), and B) what he says following edwin’s confession. I know I’m biased, but even when I try to look at it as neutrally as possible, the way he reacts in general and the specific words he uses just don’t sound right when you imagine them being said by a Totally Definitely Straight guy.
first of all if you actually listen to it instead of absorbing the scene superficially it’s not particularly a rejection at all, and the actors have stated that themselves– it’s not him saying no, it’s him saying “I can’t give you an answer right now, but I will eventually”. that’s not an interpretation, that’s literally just the truth of what he said (and again, the actors agree). can you imagine a straight guy saying that, or possibly even more damning, “we have literally forever to figure out the rest [“the rest” meaning anything that goes beyond the kind of love charles already solidly has for him]”.
imagine you’re a straight man who’s unwaveringly confident in his orientation and your gay best friend confesses his feelings for you. you would not respond with the implication there is a “the rest” to figure out. since the main, obvious obstacle would be your solid lack of attraction to men, that’d probably be essential to your response– it wouldn’t be a “I can’t say��“ it’d be a “I can’t be–“. and on top of all that, I feel like the whole thing would have to sound far more apologetic– “I’m sorry, I love you and that’ll never change, but I just can’t love you the way that you love me.” something like that, right?
tldr: this is a rare instance in television where assuming a character is straight by default makes Less sense than the alternative. and charles’ choice of words in the confession overtly suggest that he is, at the very least, unsure of his orientation.
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gengwasted · 7 months ago
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Contrary to common belief dr. Ratio is NOT a morning person
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