#'anyways thats the hottest thing youve ever said to me do you want to make out' 'no im still MAD at you'

[stemmmm]

scenario in which bill stops torturing him and takes the time to explain what the portal is in terms more detailed than "this will get you the nobel prize for sure" and "im going to destroy your dimension, dipshit"

[leossmoonn]

🔮 - well. . .

i go by she / they. i'm a virgo. i don't really like loud places. i love writing in a diary, gives me... fun Elizabethan era vibes idk. also anything supernatural is a must for me. especially the occult. and old literature, i love it. and a fandom uhm... the vampire diaries OR marauders era harry potter . OH and i was formerly the 🍉 ask.

omg ok first of all HI OMG ITS SO NICE TO KNOW WHO THE ANONS R. PLS COME INTO MY INBOX MORE OFTEN ID LOVE TO TALK TO U!!

also ur “meet the admin” post said pansexual so imma do both genders if thats okay :)

female tvd ship - bonnie bennett

hehe okay so i kind of view bonnie as also quiet and a little introverted (compared to elena and care at least) so once i read u dont like loud noises i was like “yes this bonnie is her gf”. bonnie and you, before u dated, loved to talk abt supernatural stuff. like you always supported her talk abt her being a medium, witch, etc. she really found comfort in u bc her friends didn’t believe it at all, but to know that someone as close to her as u were believed her, honestly it made her develop a crush on you. (and lets be honest, youve always had a crush on her ever since yall were kids hehe). so when she finds out that shes a witch, ofc youre the first person she told. and omg i just imagine her being really nervous and scared bc even tho you support the theories and stuff, she still doubts that in the end, youll think shes a freak. so when she confesses she stutters a lot and (this is so cliché but like anyways hehe) you do the only thing you think will relax her + it just felt right: you kissed her. and that’s how yall became girlfriends! hehe. you two are def the hottest couple in mystic falls, like sorry not sorry elena and stefan. you two often explore the tunnels and you read her grams’s grimoire bc its hella cool. omg and bonnie is so overprotective of you and she never wants you to go in missions but you always weasel your way into her heart and she caves in hehe. OMG AND WHEN ITS YOUR BDAY SHE’LL DEF USE HER MAGIC TO HER ADVANTAGE. LIKE SHE’LL MAKE FLOWERS APPEAR, FoOD, ROMANTIC LIGHTING, GIVE U CRYSTALS OR SMTH. AHHH. neieownnw ok moving on lol

male hp ship - remus lupin

you two love sneaking out into the library together in the dead of night and reading together. remus will steal james’s invisibility cloak and whisk you away for a very romantic and mischievous evening. you two hit the kitchens first, of course, and then sneak into the library. you find an old book written in french while remus finds smth written in latin, and you both find a corner and curl up next to each other. sometimes youll have him read the latin texts to you. you love hearing him speak foreign language. its just so romantic ahhhh. you also keep a very private diary and one time remus stumbled upon it while tidying up the common room when u went to the bathroom. it ended up falling out of your bag and remus decided to go against his morals and read it. its then he discovers that you like-like him. he also discovers that you write in very beautiful cursive and you describe your feelings so beautiful, hes sobbing at your words lol. you end up walking in on him reading and youre furious, but more embarrassed than anything. he decides to play it cool and while youre screaming at him hes like “you like me?” and youre like “well of course i do, but not right this-” and remus just walks up to you and kisses you (awwe) and he pulls away and says “i meant like-like me, love” and you just melt in his arms and just uGH. i want this lmfao. (lol dont mind me writing a fic abt this)

ah sorry for this being so long! i hope you like it :) if u didnt like the diff genders then i can totally redo it, no worries :))) thank u for sending in an ask! send in other asks for the celebration and/or just to chat :)

join my celebration

[fiftyshadesgrl]

Part two of my brantley gilbert series! I hope everyone enjoys it.

I wake up to find myself tangled up around Brantley. Hes still asleep and its dark outside. I hear a humming sound then a bump. I realize the bus is moving. I jump up, "oh my god!"

Brantley sits up in a panic, "what is it baby?"

I pull the sheet up around me suddenly feeling vulnerable. "The bus is moving. I cant go anywhere! I have to go home."

He wraps me in his arms to comfort me. "Its okay baby girl. Why dont you just stay for the next couple of shows then if you still wanna go home, Ill make sure you get there."

"I have to work. I cant just give everything up to be a groupie."

"Hey." He said making me look at him. "You will never be a groupie. You are way better than that and you know it. Just give us some time, give me some time to show you that this time will be different."

I sigh, "what about my work?"

"Call them and tell them you need some time off."

I snicker, "the real world doesnt work like that. We cant all be Brantley Gilbert."

He lays back down and smiles, "Hell Ill call em myself." I laughed at that and can actually see him doing that. I shake my head and turn my phone on and find its only 2 in the morning. I quickly text my boss and tell him that Im taking my vacation early and Id be back in two weeks. I turn my phone back off and lay back down cuddling up to brantley.

He wraps his arms around me and kisses me. I moan and crawl on top of him. "Damn baby girl, youre gonna wear me out." He says smiling. I smiled back down at him, I cant believe I have him all to myself but the memory of three years ago comes flooding back to me.

3 years ago.....

I was out with mama becky trying to find the right dress that made me feel beautiful. I wanted to blow brantleys mind in a couple months when we say I do. Mama becky turns to me as we pull into the driveway, "hows he been lately?" I sigh and shake my head. "He has his good days and bad days."

His mama had tears in her eyes, "these days its more bad than good." I nodded but pasted a smile on my face.

"Dont worry mama, things will get better. Hopefully he will sober up by the wedding." I said hopeful but doubt still clung heavily in my mind and heart.

I hugged her and jumped out of the truck. "Ill come back this way in a couple of days to talk about the flowers and everything." Mama becky said and I nodded and waved as she pulled out of mine and brantleys driveway.

The house was unusually quiet, brantley usually had music blaring or playing his guitar chugging beer out on the front porch. I unlocked the door and walked in. "Brantley, Im back." Not one word, I walked towards the bedroom where the door was cracked open. I peeked through the crack and saw brantley laying on his stomach in bed sleeping.

I smiled at the sight of him, no matter what we go through he always and will forever hold my heart. I decided I would jump on him and wake him up that way. As I pushed the door open I gasped at what I saw. Amber, his ex laying on my side of the bed with my fiancee'.

Clothes, both his and hers, thrown everywhere meaning they were naked under the thin sheet that lay on top of them. I stood there just staring, I couldnt believe he would do this to me. He promised he would never hurt me.

I got my wits about me and finally spoke. "What the hell brantley!" He flipped over but amber still lay there sleeping. I wanted nothing more than to drag her by the hair of her head out of my house and beat her ass.

He jumped up out of bed and pulled his boxers up. I wanted to throw something at him, slap him, do something but I stood froze to the spot. He stumbled over to me and grabbed my arm and walked outside of our bedroom shutting the door.

I stopped just a few steps from the bedroom door and pulled away from him. "What the hell? Im gone for one day and youve got that whore in our bed!"

He held up his finger to his lips, "shhh."

That pissed me off that much more. "You want me to be quiet!? So I dont disturb that homewreckers sleep! I dont give a fuck if she sleeps good or not. You and her both are very lucky I dont beat both of your asses!" I got right up in his face and dared him to tell me to be quiet again.

"Look," he said holding his hands up, "I got bored last night and you wasnt here again, so I went out to the bar. She was there and I was lonely. Youre never around anymore I need some love every now and then."

I slapped him across his face hard. His head snapped back but I didnt care. "Youre a asshole, I have been planning OUR wedding that you didnt want to help with. You wouldnt be alone if you would stop popping pills and drinking and come with me and help."

He looked back at me but there was no emotion on his face. Thats what worried me most. He wasnt feeling anything. "You know I would disappoint you at our wedding if I helped. Id get something wrong."

"Well you can forget about the wedding. It seems like you got all you need right in there." I pointed towards the bedroom door. I walked towards it and slung it open. Amber was standing beside the bed just pulling brantleys shirt over her body.

I pointed at her, "you say a god damn word and Ill fuckin stomp a mudhole in your ass. I advise you to get the fuck out before I change my mind and do it anyway." She grabbed her pants and pulled them on and headed out of the room.

I grabbed a duffle bag and started shoving my clothes in it. "What are you doing?" I heard brantley say behind me. I gave a humorless chuckle and kept stuffing clothes in it.

"What does it fuckin look like?" I threw over at my shoulder.

"Looks like your making the biggest mistake of your life." He said emotionless.

Before I knew what I was doing I picked up one of his heavy boots and threw it. The boot connected with the aide of his face. "Mistake!? You think Im making a mistake. No honey you made the biggest mistake of YOUR life the moment you picked that whore up and brought her to our house!"

I kept packing my clothes and when the duffle bag was full I zipped it up and threw it over my shoulder. "Ill send kolby or mama becky to get the rest of my stuff. Dont call me when you get sober." I walked out towards the front door but stopped before I walked outside.

My heart was breaking into a million pieces. The love of my life cheated on me and doesnt seem to care. I heard his footsteps behind me.

"You walk out that door, dont you ever come back." He said, I dropped my bag and turned towards him. He smiled thinking I had decided to stay.

The tears started flowing freely then. Seeing how cold he was towards me, no emotion no love in his eyes. "What happened to us? We used to be so happy. When did things go bad?" I asked almost in a whisper.

He shrugged, "I dont know. I guess I fell out of love with you a long time ago. I dont want you anymore, Im moving on to better things. Keep the ring, pawn it, sell it whatever you wanna do."

I nodded and took the ring off my finger that I thought would never come off. I placed it in the palm of his hand and closed his hand around it. "Take care of yourself brantley." I walked back over to the door and picked my bag up and walked out to my old mustang sitting in the driveway.

I threw my bag in the back seat and slammed my car door. I started my car and drove down the driveway. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw brantley standing on the porch staring at my ring in his hand.

I drove all night that night until I made it to florida. I stopped at the first hotel and checked in. I called mama becky as soon as I was settled and told her what had happened. After that phone call I texted brantleys brother kolby and asked him to pick my stuff up from brantleys. He said he would and asked if I was okay. I replied with a simple 'I will be.' I turned my phone off and curled up on the bed crying myself to sleep.

1 year later....

I was working at a local diner as a waitress working nights mostly but whenever someone called in I would be the first to take their shift. I was run down but I needed the money.

It was a little after 1 in the morning and there was no one in the diner. I took that moment to walk outside for a smoke break. My eyes felt heavy and I probaly got a total of 4 hours of aleep over the past 36 hours. Rent had to be paid so I sucked it up and done what had to be done. I walked back into the diner and I heard on the speakers a voice from the local radio dj.

'Here is the new single from the newest and hottest thing in country music today. Heres shes my kinda crazy by brantley gilbert.' 

My heart stopped as I heard his beautiful voice coming through the speakers. I closed my eyes and the lyrics just broke my heart. I have missed him so much and I still think about the day that everything changed. The bell above the door rang as someone came in the diner.

Sal the night manager walked out feom behind the counter. "Sit anywhere you like sir, our waitress will be with you shortly." I was still stuck in a daze but I cleared my head and pulled out my paper and pen ready to take the order.

I turned and walked over to the booth where the man was sitting. I couldnt believe my eyes. Brantley sitting there drumming his fingers on the table. Watching me. I stumbled a bit but remembered what happened a year ago. I stood straighter and walked over, not looking at him.

"What can I get you?" I said very coldly.

"How bout a smile darlin." He said smoothly.

I rolled my eyes. "We only serve food and drinks here. You want a smile theres a bar right across the way there. Im sure you will find lots of them there."

I still had my eyes glued to my pad of paper, my pen hovering waiting for him to say what he really wanted. After a few minutes I turned my back "let me know when you decide."

That statement was about more than just his food choices. I was wanting ro see if he really had changed. I took the rag from behind the counter and started wiping tables down that were already squeaky clean. I just wanted to keep busy. I wanted to keep my mind off of brantley.

I saw movement from the corner of my eye. I looked up and brantley was motioning for me. I walked over pulling my pen and paper pad out again. "Finally decide on something?"

I still wouldnt look at him, he sighed "yeah burger, fries, and a mountain dew."

I scribbled it down and ripped the paper off. "Alright be right back with your drink." I said turning before he could say anything else. I gave the order to the cook and got his drink ready. I waited until his food was done before I took it to him.

"Heres your food and your drink. Enjoy." I said trying to turn away but he grabbed my wrist.

"Why dont you have a seat? Looks like im your only customer so you cant be busy."

I growled and plopped down on the other side of the booth looking at anywhere but at him. I kept quiet, the only sound was the music comig from the speakers and the hum from the fridge behind the counter.

"Would you just look at me (Y/N)? Please?" He said sounding exhausted. I sighed and looked him dead in the eyes. Shutting off all emotions. I waited for him to speak, he sighed and closed his eyes. He shook his head, "you look tired."

I chuckled humorlessly, "wow thanks. Thats a nice way of saying I look like shit."

He shook his head, "no I meant it just like it came out. You look tired. But youre still beautiful."

I snickered and rolled my eyes. "Rents gotta be paid brantley. I have to work to make rent." He nodded and he opened his mouth but before he could speak I cut him off. "Why the hell are you here brantley?"

He grabbed for my hand but I pulled back. "I came to see you darlin."

I rolled my eyes, "well you saw me. Now can I get back to work?"

I went to get up but this time he did grab my hand. "Please just talk to me. Its been a year. Im sober now. Thinking clearly for the first time."

I smiled at that, "thats great brantley." I pulled my hand from his and stood up. "Im really happy that you have turned your life around. I heard your song on the radio right before you came in. Its great, just hate that its about that damn whore." I said the last part through gritted teeth. He shook his head and opened his mouth as if to say something but the bell rang above the door before he could.

I turned to see a young couple that looked weary from a road trip come in. "Hey yall sit anywhere you want. Ill be right there." I turned back towards brantley who still hadnt touched a bite of his food. I shrugged, "duty calls. Heres your check, if you want anything else let me know and Ill adjust it. If not sal can ring you up when youre done. Bye brantley, take care of yourself."

The younger couple ordered breakfast platters and coffee so I was pretty busy with refilling their cups and everything. Right as my shift ended an hour later I walked outside and lit me a much needed cigarette. I started walking over to my mustang but slowed up when I noticed brantleys truck parked right beside it. Brantley was leaning against the side of it casually smoking a cigarette himself.

I walked over just as he threw his cigarette to the ground. "There you are." He said smiling.

I fished my keys out of my purse and went to unlock my door. Brantley stopped me before I could climb in. "Hey, I was hoping we could talk for a minute." He said, his voice filled with hope.

I sighed and slumped against my car. "Im very tired brantley. I wanna go home and go to bed. Make it quick." I sighed glancing at my watch.

"Okay, look I know things ended bad between us and everything." I raised one of my eyebrows at him and crossed my arms. "Whats your point brantley?"

He sighed, "I dont know what Im trying to say. Look, mama told me where you were and I wanted to bring some stuff to you. I thought you might want it." He handed me a box the size of a shoe box. I took it and nodded.

"I uh, got a show the next town over. If you want Ill leave you a ticket at will call." He said rubbing the back of his neck.

I turned and climbed in my car and placed the box beside me in the seat. "Thanks but no thanks. Im swamped at work and I cant afford to take off."

He nodded and leaned down, "I know I just thought...."

I cut him off before he could speak. "Nothings changed brantley. Now if youll excuse me Im going home to get some sleep before my next shift in a few hours."

I cranked my car and didnt give him a chance to reply. I knew if he did then I would probably break. It was hard enough seeing him tonight and trying to act like I didnt care. All I wanted to do was throw myself in his arms and let him kiss away this last miserable lonely year.

Also in the back of my mind was what he did. He cheated when he promised he never would. He promised he would always love me but he told me that day he fell out of love with me. I could never forget that.

I drove back to my small apartment and headed straight for the bed. Sleep came easy but those blue eyes haunted my dreams.

[moonchildhcs]

parkjin headcanons!!

ur honestly both in awe at how ur in a relationship with each other because neither of u give urselves enough credit !!!! u r both sweethearts and visual gods

hyunjin: “wow ur so cute i cant believe ur dating me” parker: “no!! thats me @ u” god: “p l e a s e ur both cute babies and u deserve each other”

i digress

this bb is friends with some clingy ass mofos !!! like daehwi !!! ur getting the hugs u deserve and u will get no complaints from him abt ur affections either because hes just sitting their with you like o//w//o

dont believe this boys dangerous stage presence he is a softie through and through he will get you flowers and chocolates and everything you could possibly imagine !!! angel baby sweetie pie ur pumpy umpy umpkin !!!

he would absolutely love dancing with you !! he loves ur passion and drive to perform and is always willing to practice with u even when hes tired :( bb boy !! hes much nicer than chan tho lol but hes still a pretty strict teacher so expect some dramatic improvement under him

(also whenever you pull off a move properly he gives u a sweet s m o o c h so it encourages you to do even better for more opportunities to kiss ur bf)

bc hes an idol !! yall cant go out publicly for dates all the time so a typical date is yall goofing off at home, watching movies and shows on netflix, a romantic dinner if yall have the energy but generally takeout, blasting music and dancing around, etc etc he just loves being with you

but when its been a while he will absolutely take you out on cute dates!! sometimes cute elaborate picnics, sometimes a spontaneous trip around the city at night, but always without a fail fun and exciting, especially with your boyfie by ur side :^)

also initially he is SO shy with you !! like remember how shy he was around jinyoung ??? during the survival show??? multiply that by a MILLION this boy was so shy he blushed the deepest shade of red just by h*lding ur h*nd !!! he gains more confidence as the relationship progresses but pls be easy on this bb boys heart

also (wiggles eyebrows) yall can have some spicy kisses !! some intense makeout sessions !! but nothing further lol he is a SHY BOY and also very much 18 he is awkward and is not abt that life rn lol

like ur gonna be shocked at the duality because at the beginning of the relationship hes like “c-can i h*ld ur h*nd? and ur like “how did u censor that out loud” but now hes like “makeout with me” and ur like bitch WHAT but also okay lol

this boy is a solid eight inches taller than you lol if you think he wont even lightly tease you about the height difference you are wrong !! ur just chillin and hes like “hey :) hows the weather down there” and ur like “i will END you” and he blows a kiss ur direction and ur like “okay maybe not ur kinda cute. but comment on my height again and u will receive no mercy”

DUDE he is at the perfect height where he can rest his chin on ur head!! and give u forehead kisses !!!! he just loves u so much man !!! sure kissing u on the lips is great and all but kissing ur forehead?? CUTE

also so many of his shirts and hoodies disappeared and he was like ?????????? what !!! and then he saw you just DROWNING in his hoodie because he too loves oversized stuff and hes like. im fine with this (he takes photos and sets them as his home and lockscreen when they arent promoting) (this boy is GOOD at not getting caught)

dude when the Boiis found out u two were dating they LOST IT !!! interrogated then welcomed !! hyunjin was exposed by them a lot lol they exposed ALL the juicy stories and u were like :^)

dont worry tho ya girl laramie exposed u in kind so then hyunjin was like :^)

truly a bonding experience for the both of you

yall are both visual gods so sometimes u both will just. try on even the most ridiculous outfits and have a fashion show in the living room of ur technically shared apartment

yall take photos on ur phones in a super exaggerated manner in order to mimic the paparazzi and photographers and shout encouragements like “YES KING GET THAT BREAD” and “OH YES WORK IT”

willing to nerd out with you at a l l times !!!

oh my god him sleeping over when he can when hes not promoting and u waking up to him spooning u and just. big cuddle hours: activated

soft kisses before jokingly going “u have morning breath” and just the resounding GROAN before he threatens to leave u cold in the bed and ur like no wait-

hes trying to be frugal with his money as he hasnt been an idol for that long but he definitely buys you gifts from time to time when hes reminded of u

“babe i got this red panda plushie for u” (insert parkers unintelligible  shrieking here)

hes not the most jealous boyfriend actually !! he trusts you a lot and is okay with you being friends with whomever u please but sometimes he sees u fangiring over his seniors or smth and hes like >:( im a good performer too love me !!!! pls !! he just wants ur love smooch his cheeks and ull be good

also to get him flustered? peck his cheeks or (gasp) his NOSE he gets so flustered bc its so innocent but so intimate at the same time so he just gets so RED and stutters and ur just like :^) ah how the turn tables

this boy is a ROMANTIC through and through hes not old fashioned but he likes doing cheesy things like opening the door for you, giving you flowers, pulling out the chair for you, etc etc

he just wants to LOOOOOOOOOOVE you !!!!!

he doesnt go for too many pet names but babe and princess are what he leans towards !!

he practices his english on u and u practice ur korean on him (hint, ur better at korean than he is at english)

but he tries so hard and hes so cute !!! his english is so cute!! appreciate this baby pl s

him: “my hands are big so i can hold the world” u: “worm?” him: (holds ur cheeks) u: (choked) “w-worm?”

u guys r so cheesy but its so cute !! he just wants whats best for you

also you guys are no strangers to having deep and highly emotional talks because ur both very empathetic and vulnerable people

youve talked about ur insecurities and so has he!!! uve also both confronted the whole “ur not dating me because of my visuals/because im an idol right” and ur like “um?? no ur a sweetheart and a dedicated boii and performer and-” and then u go on a half hour long rant about all the things u love abt him and hes just like :’) i love you

whenever hes away for one reason or another, esp stuff like tours, he leaves a bunch of his clothes that smell like him so you wont feel as lonely !!! because the sad reality is is that on tours when hes not on stage hes practicing practicing practicing so keeping in touch is kinda hard

but he does his best !! he sends letters and text messages and voice messages and everything !! and when he can he facetimes you !!

we have ALL seen the boys instagram he will take a burst of 10000000 selfies on ur phone, plague u with the “ur icloud storage is almost full” messages, and it takes u 12239632485 years to delete them all (after making sure they are safely backed up into ur google photos)

yall are SO CUTE and take so many couple photos !!! yall are that iconic couple and u generally post these on ur super exclusive finsta but sometimes u sneak in a blurry pic of him on ur main or even a censored pic of him and ur like “do u ever just have the cutest sweetest (and hottest but hush) boyf in the world to flex on the broke bitches who hate u” and hyunjin is like BABE and ur like :^) 

lowkey sometimes u get jealous of jinyoung bc this boii loves and respects him so much and ur like “What Does He Have That I Do Not” and hyunjin is like “a successful career as an idol” and ur like “define successful” and he GASPS

jokesjokes lol yall playfully argue with each other a lot but if any of u go too far its pretty obvious bc u get quieter and he just. emotionally withdraws and u can see it in his eyes and ur both like OH NO BABE i didnt mean to hurt you im sorry !! and ull have a quick convo with multiple apologies and then ur BACK TO BUSINESS

OMG DUDE HOW YALL MET WAS SO CUTE

so basically he was out with !! the boiis at this cute coffee shop that is never crowded so its safe for them to just relax without having seven masks on lol

and the u !! come in with laramie like :( dude school SUCKS and laramie like nods her head intently like yes indeed

and this boy is struck with LOVE like ur . so cute. and tiny. and cute. and ur venting so passionately about how the education system does Not Meet The Needs of students and hes like. her passion. i love it

and u havent noticed him but oh man the boiis have and they are RUTHLESS bc hes so shy but theyre like GIVE HER UR NUMBER COWARD

and after an overwhelming amount of encouragements and some mild bullying (and laramie going to the bathroom because this dumb bitch spilled a lil bit of tea on her shorts and shes LIVID) and this boy approaches u and ur now love stricken

bc hes so CUTE !!! and its clear hes a lil nervous bc hes blushing uwuwuwuwuwuwu but he said !! he really admires ur passion and he thinks ur really cute and hes sorry if this is creepy but could i get ur number and ur like yes. pls. i love you (jokesjokes u dont profess ur love immediately but DAMN were u close to)

u and hyunjin all blushie and excited and the boiis are LOSING it and laramie comes back like “hey fellas whatd i miss-”

anyways yall are THAT power couple who love each other and are super devoted!! and have an amazing time with each other and DAMN ppl say love is dead but clearly they havent met yall

@daffodwlw read this and weep tears of love, coward

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: this is why i don't wear shoes Ali: i have lost one??? Ali: rescue it if you see it Carly: what do they look like Ali: just a kinda tan sandal thing Ali: just a penneys special so not the end of the world, should chuck the other one so someone can have the pair Carly: come & bring me food & then youll be here to reunite them Carly: but yea k will lean out my door & see if its there Ali: love the enthusiasm, babe 😜 Ali: can feel your come down from here Carly: dont barely remember the come up Carly: wtf happened last night Ali: not in a much better position myself but uhm Ali: mayhem, that's for sure Ali: i think you might've gone home with the wrong cousin Carly: shit Carly: my bad Carly: better read my txts Carly: who did you go w ? Ali: didn't go that far with anyone Ali: 💍 remember and such a 😇 Ali: ronan was in a mard though and i weren't up for listening to that so 🤷 Carly: aw Carly: sorry baby i'll calm him down Ali: it's chill 😂 bless him Ali: no need on my account tho i'm sure he'd be down, despite protests otherwise Carly: my inbox is Carly: cba w this rn Ali: oh baby, want a bacon sarnie and a secretary? Carly: yea Carly: gonna throw my phone w your shoe Ali: i woke up to a mystery dickpic on my phone Ali: is it rude to ask which one it belongs to because lads, sorry, not that memorable that i'm picking it out of a line-up Ali: you'll know, been more recent, i'll come over with food and lucozade for real and ruin your day with that lovely image and the actually rather creative sexts that went with it Ali: 10/10 for effort, sir Carly: cant put it on the cv or school report but my memory for 'em is good Carly: if ive seen it i'll id it Carly: ill laff if its the large ginge cousin whose name i never got Carly: sounded like a cough Ali: that's a talent and if the man can't see that, fuck him Ali: and his job in tescos, like Ali: i mean, shouldn't have a preference but i hope not 😂 Ali: soz honey but Carly: thanks baby Carly: I hope its that token english Carly: he was fit Ali: can reply if you like Ali: worse ways to waste a sunday morning than messing with boys Ali: sounding like a priest Ali: oops Carly: ha Carly: i found some fucking funny vids of us so maybe the phone shouldnt go out window before youve had a look Ali: yes, i need to see that Carly: [sends her fave of the vids] Ali: aww Ali: we're fun drunks Ali: love that for us Carly: yea Carly: im a messy bitch tho Carly: no wonder i went w the hero cousin Ali: meh, things happen at parties, everyone knows that Ali: not like you're proper attached is it Ali: though he's gonna be annoying now probs but day in the life when you're irresistible, yeah? Carly: youd know babe Carly: he wont be on site long never is Carly: so idc Carly: saved me for a nite boy youre welcome Ali: duh Ali: hottest couple in town Ali: one for the wank bank anyway Carly: yea & he is fit Carly: give him that Carly: esp when i dont understand what hes saying Ali: the best kind Ali: a boy you don't have to speak to 😜 Ali: if that's all it takes like, whip out the Gaeilge Carly: youve got the giggles but yea Carly: true Carly: but on site id just have all the oldies chatting at me if i could Carly: not trying to make them go weak Ali: they ain't daddies? boo 😥 Carly: some got many kids but thats it Carly: say something to me then Ali: [sends voice memo, probably has dirty words she'd recognise from site life and lots of loling] Carly: k Carly: so hot Carly: if your gf is mad at me for stealing you last nite you can smooth things over w her like that Ali: might have to Ali: though it ain't you she's 😤 with Ali: poor ronan, shoulda done more than snog him if she comes for him, not even worth it for that Carly: ill protect him when he lets me back near Carly: cant stay mad at this Carly: sure your girls the same Ali: She's mad 24/7 babe, just gotta hold on, like 😂 Ali: we want different things now but that's not a convo for this morning like jesus Carly: whos got the energy Carly: cba w angry Carly: yea you want a sarnie Ali: exactly, and i wanted to have fun last night but may as well have said i want his dick in or around my mouth k bye babe Carly: ha Carly: that would be fun tho Ali: tell that to past you, dashing his threesome dreams like 🤷💔 Carly: still time Ali: not me you need to promise baby Carly: yea but id rather talk to you Ali: 💚 Ali: you cute Carly: all you Carly: how you look so good coming from band? wtf Ali: psh please Ali: it was all about you 🙇 Carly: if that was true why is every memory i got from last nite just you Carly: facts Ali: had to get you away from that mirror somehow, like 😉 Ali: it was fun Carly: ha Carly: cuz your talents got me like Carly: yea it was Ali: helps when the canvas already beautiful babe Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Ali: 🍓 Carly: gonna make me cry Ali: don't cry lil one Ali: the bacon is coming Ali: got roped into doing a shady kid swap, where is my ma, take this demon child Carly: you can bring him if you want Carly: ill put clothes on before Ali: cockblocked again 😉 Ali: nah, he needs to go get shoes Ali: ironically and unlucky, twat Carly: what size is he Carly: i can ask around when i look for yours Carly: lads flog everything and anything here on sundays Ali: his feet are big man Ali: he's only little but he's lanky af, unlike me Ali: that's fun tho Ali: imma go shopping Carly: aw Carly: yea wish i was taller Carly: ffs ma and da Ali: literally Ali: least neither of my sisters are model tall or i'd be more raging Ali: we make it work, babe Carly: & i dont have any sisters Carly: well done on that one tho ma & da Ali: speak for yourself Ali: i'm gutted Carly: oww Carly: trying to replace me like the vows were no thing Ali: you know you're my one and only Ali: but a woman got needs Carly: thats what your gf is for Carly: no Ali: yeah but i'm allowed wishful thinking too Ali: damn Carly: ive given you the mental image of me naked Carly: what more you need Ali: are you jealous of your hypothetical sister? Carly: yea if you like her more Ali: aw baby, 'course not Ali: she's a ride, yeah, but bit of a bitch too, like Carly: ha Carly: takes after our ma like Ali: sadly, straighter than you Ali: 👎 Carly: like theres a ranking Carly: just straight or not yea Ali: I mean, it is a scale but I'm not gonna try and bond with your Ma giving her the test for it, like Ali: could we tie her down for a sec, obvs Carly: hit her when shes washing up Carly: takes long Ali: okay, i'll dry 😉 Ali: what an offer Carly: trying to make me vom now Carly: take crying or blushing over Ali: soz babe Carly: her & my da dont fuck but still dont reckon youre her type Ali: don't know what's worse, that, or knowing they do Carly: im good w them not Carly: sound carries Carly: no secrets in the caravan Ali: sure there's a toilet block they could go to Ali: keeping it sexy Carly: sure my da's there doing his cry wank Carly: while my ma checks the talent Carly: we got that to look forward to in our marriage in a few years Ali: who's scouting who's cranking Ali: because frankly, i refuse either Carly: im the biggest slag so probs me Carly: sorry Ali: and I'm not Ali: igloo sisters how many times now?! 😂 Carly: ha Carly: but youre loyal Carly: me and my ma dont kno the meaning like Ali: am i Ali: you miss the part when i got on ronan Carly: o yea Carly: i forgot Ali: idk what i'm gonna do about that Ali: instant gameover but its literally so irrelevant Carly: hes a ride Carly: you should be excused for it Ali: she's a 6 on that scale, yeah, massive gay Ali: so she ain't seeing that, never mind the other shit Carly: shit yea Carly: dont tell her Ali: does that make me the worst? Ali: i should hm Carly: hes not gonna speak to her Carly: and if he brags you can call it that Ali: Yeah Ali: I don't know Carly: its that or tell her Carly: & say youre sorry Carly: we were all wasted Carly: not like you have feelings for him Ali: You're right, obviously Ali: like that's the truth but yeah Ali: might leave it unless I need to go there Ali: soz God, swing by confession later Carly: tell her youre a bi cliche Carly: she'd love it Carly: use the scale Ali: she would tho Ali: validate everything she's ever sneaky or not so thought about me Ali: soz, i need a constant stream of p n v or i die Carly: a girl has needs Carly: what am i a 1? Ali: its like dis Ali: 1- all straight 2- mostly straight but lil gay 3- equal/bi 4- mostly gay but still lil into opposite 5- total gay Ali: but not gonna resist the urge to tell you you a 10 Carly: 🥇 Carly: i like that you're 3 tho. 3's a lucky number Ali: and a magic one 🔮 Carly: yea cuz youre magical Ali: believe it baby Carly: i do Ali: right, finally leaving, be like 10 Ali: doing the opposite to a walk of shame rn, strutting back in like what's good Carly: you gotta Carly: own it baby Carly: havent found your shoe tho sorry Carly: maybe ronan took it cuz he loves you so bad Ali: 😂 oh my god Ali: like a horny puppy Carly: yea Carly: building a shrine to you rn probs Ali: or he wanna play cinderella Ali: such a ridiculous fairytale, as far as they go Carly: how wasted was the prince that he cant remember what she looks like Carly: k been there but not trying to wife anyone Ali: right?! also, sure plenty of bitches a size 5, like??? Ali: was it a magic shoe Ali: no explanation, frankly Carly: yea like me and you have the same size Carly: ill take your prince for a ride bitch Ali: 😂 Ali: he cool with that Ali: that's the tea Ali: boy gives no fucks, long as it ain't a man in drag Carly: he hasnt met your brother tho Carly: boy looks good Ali: eww Ali: stop that thought right there Carly: dont get jealous Carly: not gonna go there Ali: not jealous, but repulsed 😷 Carly: k babe Carly: if you say so Ali: trust, you wanna see jealous you'll see it soon enough if you go there Ali: 😂 bea don't fuck about Carly: have to go for one of your other hot brothers Ali: trying be my sister in law and wife Ali: kickin it country Carly: you kno Carly: been on site too long Ali: forreal, not gotta hang with the traveller lads that hard baby Carly: after last nite not gonna be hanging w them for a while Ali: let 'em fight it out amongst themselves Ali: defs for the best Carly: yea Carly: hide w me babe Carly: gonna be so bored Ali: gonna Ali: i'll peep their wares another day Ali: not a euphemism Carly: sounds dirty tho Ali: yeah, regretted it as i said it but hey Ali: love me a sale and a gypsy boy Carly: no regrets boo Carly: they love you too Carly: esp whoever send the dick pic Ali: the real mystery Ali: soz everyone else with your drama but we gotta know Carly: i do need to be knowing Carly: thats my wife lads Ali: awh you gonna defend my honour n delicate sensibilities Carly: yea Carly: youre an angel Ali: you're so cute Carly: its you Carly: my parents came back Carly: gonna have to run Ali: oh no i am en route Ali: where you going boo Carly: i'll catch you and we can find somewhere theyre not Carly: ha church Carly: can you eat there cuz im not looking to die for jesus Ali: yeah for sure, not in the pews like its the cinema, like Ali: can go park if you wanna Ali: or up the mountain if you can hack it, like Carly: youre so smart Carly: like your mouth Carly: but yea Carly: date time Ali: awh yeah Ali: this picnic ain't goals i'm so sorry babe Ali: least the weather's looking up Carly: idc Carly: get to be w my boo Ali: 😍 Carly: i look crazy Carly: havent got dressed faster w out getting fucked before since idc Carly: idk Ali: i like crazy Ali: and beside me you'll probs look totally normal 😉 Carly: you look hot every day baby Carly: facts Ali: all these compliments got me feeling 🔥 obvs Carly: thats how i want it Ali: gonna have you flying high too Ali: top of the world, baby Carly: aw Carly: whats in the food like Ali: 😂 Ali: just faith n trust n pixiedust, of course Carly: you can snort pixiedust yea? Carly: k Ali: you gon' be mad when i've got nothing but sandwiches and half a donut Carly: nah Carly: cant be mad at you Carly: too cute Ali: and donuts are life Carly: true