#'also i think we are coworkers now. are u still at unit. some of ur colleagues got killed in a spice girls sequence sorry'
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officialrapunzelfitzherbert · 11 months ago
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i choose to believe as soon as the events of the 2023 specials calm down and donna has a moment to Breathe the first thing she does is call martha jones
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ennoshawty · 3 years ago
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HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS
i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas
SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.
warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot
officer!daichi
we are: vigilante/troublemaker
loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much
nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins
u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl
He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date
but let’s talk about before yall got together
he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall
bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u
HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???
you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close
and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty
and this would continue for a while
but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase
some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow
he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it
and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u
he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore
and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.
yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING
it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)
he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love
u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses
u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)
u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u
u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street
but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.
unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things
after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)
THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA
but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”
PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time
u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass
bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there
even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment
but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others
and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*
his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)
the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3
u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera
he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it
daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333
IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP
bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)
daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-
in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY
househusband!oikawa
we are: girlboss sugar mommy
somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife
and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant
IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.
sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it
his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”
please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding
when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.
only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long
yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo
he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking
probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”
8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house
he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min
please find him a hobby
crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering
like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies
please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way
does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention
speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment
don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”
one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”
ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”
So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.
“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”
u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it
tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it
Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”
bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified
beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny
also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm
but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)
now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine
you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi
ceo!kuroo
we are: secretary
bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours
but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break
one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”
flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE
but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more
HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though
will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM
he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare
RIP janet from accounting
that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again
it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you
bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention
*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”
but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank
and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.
once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you
def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again
prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention
maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile
he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)
sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever
you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you
he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!
never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you
but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)
bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH
brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too
no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH
BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”
it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”
yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u
KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u
he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf
but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3
also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him
it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333
you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced
HES the one who has a crush on you
you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss
he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp
offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him
bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-
he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love
probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd
in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank
dog hybrid!bokuto
we are: owner
Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333
OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT
he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him
please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs
he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!
the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy
HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3
soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob
the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY
he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u
destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent
tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS
loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua
gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!
ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head
which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other
so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention
If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic
but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it
u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!
def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back
“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”
doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth
doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it
speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word
SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING
u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips
big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out
he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud
hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now
we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet
HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away
and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants
he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him
knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon
he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better
he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious
in other words i love doggy bokuto
pirate!ushijima
we are: kidnapped
ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa
just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)
thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt
so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon
but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable
he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333
he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading
but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it
you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea
mf made them walk the plank
you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean
he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure
speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for
“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”
bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened
hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf
equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors
U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)
oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP
it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333
“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES
HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT
tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”
“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”
he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF
HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY
but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”
but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe
sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u
oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)
they are given orders to protect u at all costs
speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns
almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him
he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff
ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-
he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more
is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??
he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333
no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man
whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages
speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away
wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant
bruh so powerful he walks on water
second coming of christ who
IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it
legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle
speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous
“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST
he’s got good intentions...i think…
but everyone literally knows he would dive after you
in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard
mafia leader!kita
we are: associate from different group/family
kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families
so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit
arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3
nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two
POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader
RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM
he owns the majority of the underground casinos
and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.
you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most
prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune
when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere
u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone
before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that
his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u
they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them
but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you
so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou
and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history
he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him
until they bribe him at just the right price
and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them
oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much
one time you were kidnapped and held hostage
bro saw red
MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH
he got world record time
wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that
and of course, made sure you were safe.
yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...
is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go
“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE
makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster
and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)
and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY
absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”
makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you
he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS
takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work
meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you
he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3
the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...
in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita
--
--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--
officer!daichi:
karasuno squadron consists of:
cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama
investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi
surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too
househusband!oikawa:
makki and mattsun are also househusbands
iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-
ceo!kuroo:
lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-
janet still a bitch
kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings
yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there
dog hybrid!bokuto:
kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did
kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.
hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned
i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.
pirate!ushijima:
tendou is practically is right hand man
the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-
BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.
mafia!kita:
the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.
suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.
aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards
a/n: im going to regret posting this
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kakashibestie · 5 years ago
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ok im just a casual follower but are david/redacted and you a thing???? (excuse my curious ass ahsjahgdjs)
OH BOY  you’re in for a RIDE
we aren’t a thing as in like. A Thing™ but we’re definitely best friends who rly....Get each other like we simply vibe and we’re also wildly attracted to each other!!!!
we actually did go through the actual dating phase for a hot minute but then we weren’t bc he was in a rly....awful place emotionally and i was pissed because i realized i love him and he probably didnt love me back in the same way as i did so that translated into anger. then i thought well this is stupid so we started talking again but i still felt this weird resentment toward him that i couldn’t quite put my finger on so i decided i’d had enough of that and we basically became best friends by the end of last year (note that we met in may so like...wild)
then new year happened and i texted him I LOVE YOU and he was like THANKS and i literally wanted 2 die...wow...obviously we remained friends because hello...love?? then we kinda forgot abt that and we sort of grew closer???? maybe because that was out of the way and it was rly nice until it in like mid january it was the SADDEST thing bc all of a sudden he was like im seeing someone and i just....was like dude.........for real....and at that moment i pretty much kinda gave up on us as like a couple like the possibility just escaped my brain and it was v painful but i managed but all the while he was kinda weird abt it like. idk it was just weird i cant word it any better. they basically dated for like less than a month i think dkjshgkdjghdgkjfdh and i was like hm........................................not to like get my hopes up or anything but...hm
then fast forward to mid/late february. if i could like pinpoint the exact time when i’ve felt closest to him it’s definitely not late february 2020 but that’s when it BEGAN...like we just sort of clicked. i’d decided i was moving to my hometown back in december and guess who was like i gOTTA MOVE TO MEXICO CITY. so yeah he was going to design school in may and i was going to go work starting late march so i could save up some good money and put myself through courses/open my fUCKING CAFÉ with the help of my dad. it was rly cool because he’s been there before like three times but he’s NEVER actually lived there and mexico city is literally...a wild place and there’s SO. MUCH. TO. DO. so we kind of started making plans and envisioning ourselves as a unit. and in the meantime i started properly helping him write a treatment for a future screenplay he hopes his Film/TV Producer brother will accept and yeah it was just...rly nice bc our writing ritual was going to this cafe we love (he took me to another of their locations on our first ACTUAL date last year and that location is closed now) and i kinda witnessed his creative process In The Flesh. i cant quite word how that felt but if you’re in any way afraid of vulnerability and maybe an artist of any kind you’ll KNOW that ur self during ur very own creative process is literally one of ur rawest forms.
what rly Got Me after that was that i rly needed money for my bus ticket home (it was not a Lot of money since mexico city is literally like 4hrs away from here) and he needed money to basically...go and scout and bUild a life from scratch down there so his dad helped him open up this cute little food truck and he was like do u need a job  🥺 and i was like YEAH so we basically did all the branding/design for it (i love design...sm) and we were coworkers until late march!!!!!!! 
that was literally our peak....once i convinced him and his friends to go to this karaoke bar on a nearby street (we all were at his apartment) and it was rly cool i got to sing a lumineers song and he looked at me rly softly and then we got kicked out bc we thought it was a good idea to bring our own beer so we all went back 2 david’s and it was getting rly late so one by one his friends were all like *eyes emoji* and left and i was left alone with him kinda high and PRETTY drunk, same state he was in and we just kinda held each other there until i finally called an uber and got home. but he gave me his jacket since the moment i began getting cold aka before the bar thing and i fell asleep in it kdsjgfhkgjdshgd 
BUT YEAH one of the last things we did was going out for coffee again to try and write before work which we totally didnt achieve bc we just...kept talking (and stealing cigarettes from each other) and then at work a friend of his (who’s now my friend too bc he’s kinda adorable) visited and we just had....the best of times and yes we made out a couple times and at the end of the day but like unnecessary details. 
then corona came and we’ve been quarantined since march 23rd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s been rly rly hard but he’s made sure to like check on me as best as he can bc let’s face it he’s not having a good time either and idk it’s just nice to have...him in my life like the levels of trust involved there are Crazy it’s literally like buzzcut season by lorde as in “i’m the one you tell your fears to/there’ll never be enough of us” 
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beardedwinnerobject-blog · 6 years ago
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Atlanta Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30336
"Atlanta Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30336
Atlanta Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30336
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecost.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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Atlanta Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30336
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Atlanta Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30336
Atlanta Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30336
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I am a 18 year old male in california, who just bought a 92 Buick Skylark and I need to no what would be my best bet when it comes to getting insurance, I would like cheap insurance.""
Do i have to have a motorcycle license to get motocycle insurance?
Do i have to have a motorcycle license to get motocycle insurance?
I put the wrong dettails on car insurance quote!:(?
hi everyone.A year ago i bought a car insurance and when i done the quote i ve put by mistake that i have my licence for 5 years and i only got it for 3 months at the time!now my insurance is due to renewal and as i was looking thru the details on my insurance i noticed that there is a mistake about the years for how long i got my licence.now i found a differente insurance company that is giveng me cheaper quote,i got my licence now for 1 year and 4 months.whats gone happen now with that mistake? PLEASSE HELP! EXCUSSE MY ENGLISH!""
How much will insurance cost for a 16 year old?
im 16 years old and i wanna get a 1965 mustang and im wondering how much insurance would cost even if under my parent's plan
Is it a legal requirement to have insurance when you are self employed?
I am about to sign a contract, as a self-employed contractor, and one of the point refers to me having liability insurance. Is it a legal requirement?""
Why is my car insurance so high?
iv just passed my test and looking to insure a car, any car to be honest, iv got 2 convictions with 6 points for no license and no insurance 3 years ago now, and my quote on 993cc suzuki swift was 2086, WHAT THE F##K!! i even just tried a 205 diesel and it was over 3k?????? what i dont get is my friend got a 1.1 punto with a recent dui and ban and his insurance is only 1800 which is high but shudnt mine be less as my convictions are not half as bd and where done twice the time ago as my friends!!!!""
How Much Is Too Much For Car Insurance?
Hi, I am an 18 year old male living in Huddersfield and in full time education at college. I passed my driving test in September 2010 and now its December, i decided to get an update of quotes on different cars such as 1.0 corsa's, 1.2 clio's and so on, but i was curious so i decided to check on my dad's 2005 1.4 diesel toyota. It came as a bit of a shock to me but i got a quote for 2600, on my own name some of the quotes i was getting were far to high, the lowest was 6000. So my question to you is, do you think 2600 is a reasonable quote to be a second driver on my dads car? I turned 18 a month ago and have had my driving lesson for just over 3 months, my dad has had his for over 30 years and has around 30 years no claims bonus, so do you think it is a reasonable quote ?""
Car insurance question?
My mom just bought a new car and she wants to add me (a new driver) to her policy. How much would our insurance increase/decrease comparing to as if I bought the car myself.
How much will my insurance go up?
I'm 17 years old and i was caught going twenty mph over, this is my first ticket, how much will my insurance be increased?""
Atlanta Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30336
Atlanta Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30336
Car insurance?
lets say a 21 year old person goes to a car insurance company and is quoted $2000 for full coverage auto insurance. how much do you think this person will be charged at the same company at 25 years old?
What the best life insurance for a 23 year old female?
i want what best so when something happen to me my girls has the money to buried me nice. I want something that don't go away in 30 years and i half to get another policy. ...show more
Health Insurance - too expensive - should I ditch it and will it get cheaper in 2014?
So I got health insurance about 6 months ago - BCBS. As a 38-yr-old female with a BMI that is(was) borderline obesity, I pay $278 per month (about twice the original quote on the website which was about $140.) I freelance. One of my jobs collects contributions from my employers into an account that I can use to reimburse my premium payments, and I was hoping that I'd be able to make enough to use that account to really pay toward my monthly health insurance. My financial situation has plummeted, however, and I am really struggling to keep my head above water for the first time since I moved out. Just looking for some outside input here. Should I ditch my health insurance? Will the options be more manageable for me in 2014?""
What will happen with my car insurance?
ok so i was driving my brothers car and i have my g1 i went to money mart and back home about an hour later police came knocking on my door asking if my brother was in a car accident so we went down to the station and the officer asked if i was driving his car i said yes , he then said that the other man that was sitting in the station got my plates and said i hit his car and cracked his bumper (very minor crack) so i said no and then officer assumed i was lying and made me write up an accident report. after when i was leaving the station the other guy asked if we could solving this without going through insurance so we exchanged numbers (their was no damage at all to my brothers car & no paint or anything on their car to prove i hit it) the next day they called and said the want a whole new bumper they dont want it patched up and they would get me a price quote they then got me a quote for $1475 for a while new bumper from ford i told them im not paying that much the only way im replacing the bumper is if my mechanic does it he said ok so i went to my mechanic told him the whole situation and he said i shouldnt be replacing the whole bumper for somthing that small but he still ordered the bumper for me i had to put a $400 down payment for the bumper and $300 after its put on. the bumper came in 2 days later and they brought their car for it to be put on when we got there they got pissed off and said this isnt a bumper straight from ford and they dont want it and left ( the bumper was brand new for the same model car and had the exact paint coat match just that it wasnt from ford) they then call me threating to take it through insurance if we dont get it from ford so i lost the $400 down payment for the bumper because they cant return it after its painted so i told my mechanic to order it from ford. but when he called for they said the dont have bumpers for that model anymore, i then call the people back and told them to take it through insurance because my mechanic cant get that bumper. So what will happen to my brothers insurance hes under 25 with his g2, and i had my g1 but it was on private property where they said the incident occurred the officer even said he cant charged me because its private property PLEASE HELP!""
Do I need an insurance to register my car in North Carolina?
I live in Charlotte, North Carolina. I am gonna buy a used car from a private party and I am going to DMV tomorrow to register it. The DMV website says I need car insurance for registration. Can I get an insurance when technically I don't own the car? what do insurance companies need for getting a car insurance?""
How much more do men pay for car insurance than women?
If a man and a woman are the ame age, same car, clean driving record, both live in the same city, and every other variable is the same. The only difference is their gender how much more would a man pay?""
CRAZY Insurance Premium! Any way out?
From Toronto, Ontario, I am a 19 y/o male and want my own vehicle. Without paying a crazy insurance rate of $6000+ per year, how can a 3rd vehicle be purchased and licensed under my parent's name (I live with them) having them as the primary driver? The problem is, from what I know, if I am licensed and living at the same address, I will automatically be primary driver of the 3rd vehicle as now there are 3 drivers and 3 vehicles. So what if my parents had 6 cars? There must be some way out..""
Is it illegal to drive without car insurance?
Hi, i was just wondering if it is illegal to drive without car insurance in Ontario, Canada.""
""If u wrote-off a $5000 car, on average how much would ur insurance company give you back?""
If u wrote-off a $5000 car, on average how much would ur insurance company give you back?""
I need to win this bet! $5000.00 on the line! Attn: Car insurance reps!!!?
Okay, my mother bet me a 5 thousand dollar car that she is right about this. Here we go. I am 27 and live back at home with parents. However, I rent a room that i pay for every month, and they write me a rent receipt, etc. I recieve county assistance every month, and they have me documented as a seperate family from my parents, meals prepared seperately, the whole nine yards. So, if they are just my landlords technically, and if i drive a car that is registered to me, my name on title, my OWN insurance policy, and I get into a accident in MY car, can they other party sue my parents for damages? Remember I am 28 years old, living in a seperate household from them. I feel that they cannot sue them cuz they couldnt sue my landlord if i lived in an apartment complex, so how coyuld they sue my landlords?""
Car Insurance HELP? which would be cheaper?
im not asking for a PRICE,but which out of these 3 cars do you THINK would be cheaper on insurance for me. I am a new driver,I have good grades ( good student discount ) and Im going under my moms insurance. -2004 pontiac grand prix -2006 chevrolet impala -2006 pontiac G6 I dont need any websites to find cheap car insurance i just need opinions on which you think will be cheaper and why thanks! = )""
How would a life insurance company know if you were a cigarette smoker?
They would obviously want to charge you more if you smoked, so do they just take your word for it?""
Cheapest SR22 car insurance?
Can anyone recommend which auto place (ex: safe auto, geico, etc) has the cheapest SR22 insurance. I already know there's alot of different variables/situations but i just need an idea. I've only had 1 dui and it was 5yrs ago.""
Which Insurance is better ?
Hi Guys , I'm a beginner in IT industry. let me know which insurance or Tax exemption Payments are better .. LIC, TATA AIG or Kotak insurance or anything else ..""
How much for mobile home insurance in California.?
I'm looking into buying a mobile home in California. I was wondering how much the average annual premium would be. The value of the home will be around 40-70k, the coverage isn't all that important for this is only temporary, but I would like a little bit over the basic. I know it is hard to give an estimate off of the top of your head but anything helps. Thanks!""
I'm studying abroad in China next semester and want to know if I can add my friend to my car insurance?
Since I'm studying abroad, I have to find something to do with my my car. My friend is willing to take the car while I'm gone, but I've had some complications with my insurance. I spoke with my insurance rep, and she strongly discouraged me from adding my friend onto my policy. She said since my name was on title and on the off chance he had an accident, the person involved can go after the insurance as well as my future earnings. It seems really unlikely that someone could get that much money out of the insurance and continue to go after the car owner as well, but I'm concerned. Can I have my friend sign something that will state he will pay me back for the future earnings lost if they pursue me? If so, what kind of form and what needs to be stated? Will it hold up legally? I also thought of selling my friend the car for a dollar so his name would be on the title instead of mine; however, I have a 10 year accident free discount that knocks off over $200 in insurance a year and that would disappear if I ended my coverage. I would have my family take the car while I'm gone, but I don't have family in the area. I feel the best option would be to add my friend to my current coverage and have him sign something that states he will pay me back for future earnings if there is that kind of an accident. He is willing to do both, but I don't have any idea if there is such a form I can have him sign or if I should just type something up? Any advice or suggestions would be much appreciated! Thanks""
How much do you pay a month in auto insurance?
ok i am 23 years old..i live in the city. i was interested in getting a dodge charger r/t.. hemi included..anyhow, i called to get an insurance quote and they told me that i'd have to put 1000 down and pay 800 a month in auto insurance alone. i think that is so crazy. but if i move 20 minutes away i'd pay 550. i am so frustrated because i know that my age is working against me. my brother is financing a 2000 bonneville ssei and he is only paying 340 a month and he is 21. do you think the year and model of the car is what made the quote so high? what kinda car do you have and what is your monthly ins cost?""
""Cheapest car insurance in St.Cloud, MN?""
Cheapest car insurance in St.Cloud, MN?""
What is the best car insurance?
I need to get insurance on my new car but don't know what company is the best insurance to get it from. I need full coverage as the car is being financed not owned yet. I currently have Geico but I think their rates are too high, but they are a pretty good insurance from what I hear. What do you have? Do you like them?""
Do I need car insurance to drive?
So I'm sixteen and use to think as long as the car had insurance I was okay. I have my license and sometimes I drive my moms car in case it was required since my mom really needs someone in the family to drive. Recently I was told I needed to be added to her list but my mom says since I have medical insurance it's okay? oO That I just need some sort of insurance in order to pay.. not necessarily car insurance. So if I get pulled over and police ask for my license [which I have] and registration [which I also have] would I get arrested and have my license suspended?
""Rear ended by unlincensed driver, insurance refuses to pay?""
Hi all, I was hoping that I could get some guidance as to how I should proceed with this. Thank you in advance. The accident occurred 7 days ago in CA. I was driving home from work in the 4th lane of a 4 lane highway. There was a gap of approximately 4~5 cars in the 3rd lane, so I switched into that lane. By the time I finished the lane change, there was approximately 3~4 cars distance between me and the car behind me. I then drove for approximately a 100 yards, at which point the traffic suddenly slowed and I decelerated. The guy behind me, however, seems to have been looking elsewhere and rear ended me. However, before he collided, he managed to swerve his car and hit the corner of my rear bumper with the corner of his front bumper. We pulled over to the side of the road and exchanged information. It turns out that he does not have a driver's license (or any California/U.S. ID; he showed me a Mexican ID). He begged me not to call the police, admitted fault and said that he would settle it through his insurance (he is insured with a VERY shady place called Access General). I took pity on him, especially since it was very likely that he is an illegal immigrant, so I just took his information down and moved along. Fast forward a few days, and I find out that he has told his insurance that I cut in front of him and that he is not at fault. Since there are no witnesses or a police report, his insurance takes his side. Meanwhile, since I only have liability with Geico, they are saying that they can't help me. The damage to my car is between $4~5k, and that is not even taking into account devaluation of the car's value. I feel very cheated because I took pity on him and I am rewarded with a repair bill that nobody wants to deal with. I have called him multiple times and asked him to tell the truth, but he just ignores me. I am now very angry and want to do 2 things: 1. Get my car repaired. 2. Screw up his life. Hopefully get him deported (very strong liklihood of him being an illegal immigrant), or at the least bankrupt him. I took pity on him because he was in a time of need. All he had to do was tell the truth to his insurance, but he was afraid that his monthly bill would go up... so he lies and screws me instead. Do you have any recommendations for lawyers who would be willing to take on property damage lawsuits? What are my options?""
Does insurance go up when I get my driver's permit?
I'm a little over 15 and a half i live in california and my family has AAA so will the insurance price raise? i know that when i get over 16 it does raise but any tips on how to bring down the rates a little?
My car insurance premiums why are they so expensive?
low mileage driver 28 years old 5 years no claims 5 years held full license Car 1.2 Clio worth under 2K completed PASS plus after driving test I would think all the above would suggest low premium. But because my postcode is just inside Greater London, all my premium quotes seem to fall in 55-60 when in a previous town I was paying less than 40, This surely can't be fair or right can it? Can anybody suggest a good but cheap insurance company?""
Whats a cheap car insurance company i could try??! other than quinn any recomendations?
see above :)!
What are good sites to get multiple car insurance quotes all at once so you can compare?
I don't mean individual insurance companies like geico or all-state, I mean where it can do the quotes for multiple companies at a time. Know any safe & legit websites? I don't want to put my personal info just anywhere.""
Atlanta Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30336
Atlanta Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30336
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