#'all men are predators and the uterus rains supreme' kinda people; really not my vibes

[bitchking-of-angmar]

I sometimes feel like I came into my queer identity... “wrong”?

When I read texts about historic transmasculine people, read theory or talk to other trans people in my local community, I always feel like I missed some steps in my development that are fundamental for the way a lot of other people experience trans-masculinity.

I keep reading, especially here on tumblr, that trans-masculinity cannot be separated from lesbianism or from lesbian gender-nonconformity. I keep seeing historical figures that describe experiences that are very similar to mine, that to me read explicitly transmasculine, described as lesbians and I keep feeling this disconnect.

I have always felt attracted to people of all genders and never once in my life identified as a wlw or any form of lesbian. I never even knew a lesbian by name until my mid twenties, I was never part of the community for any extend of time. I honestly feel more connected to cis gay or bisexual men then to the cis lesbians I meet. I know I’m not alone in this, a lot of my online trans friends have similar biographies to me in “skipping the lesbian stage” and most of them are exclusively attracted to men/masc people.

But being in contact with IRL trans communities makes me feel deeply weird about that, almost? As if I did something wrong? As if I could have had this important formative community experience among queer women and instead skipped that stage, leaving me now feeling 100% disconnected from womanhood altogether. Not sure what to do with that.