#'ahh i just want her to grow & work on herself <3' so you participate in running her off the site. Ok

[windupaidoneus]

i don't think any of you people are in a place to tell whether a behaviour is callout-worthy this is so incredibly online. congrats to you guys for running someone off the website bc you couldnt simply block them & go on with your day

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “No Names” Part 1

When The Joker told you he found somebody else, your world shattered to pieces. But what hurt the most was the fact that he didn’t even bother to come around and see his little girls; very hard to find excuses on why their father is missing, especially when the triplets adore him. And extremely hard to cope with the gloomy future after you found out some details that might explain his estrangement.

Part 2 : http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/164854110621/the-joker-x-reader-no-names-part-2

Part 3: http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/165414584036/the-joker-x-reader-no-names-part-3

At the present moment, the four year old triplets (Emma, Mia and Evie) are fighting about who should sit in daddy’s lap. There’s some fake crying, some pushing around followed by a tantrum and J finally gives in and lifts them up one at a time so they can all sit on his knees. Very crowded and hardly any space for everybody, but somehow it works.

“Are you good now?” he asks, trying to reach over so he can type on his laptop. They all giggle and then the bickering starts again. “Daddy’s mine,” Emma pulls The Joker’s face towards her and kisses his pale cheek.

“No-oo-o,” Mia whimpers upset about it.“Daddy’s mine!” and she yanks his head and gives him a kiss.

Evie almost has a fit:

“He’s mine! I’m going to marry him!”

The Joker snorts as the girls argue in his lap. You never intervene when stuff like this is going on because you believe he needs it: doesn’t hurt to be reminded you’re human from time to time. And that includes the King of Gotham.

“I really have to send an e-mail, OK? Behave, brats !”

“No, I want to marry daddy!”

“No, me!!” and the fight continues regardless J’s request. He sighs and interrupts:

“Be quiet, girls! Stop moving around !”

Yeah…no.

“Hey, what did I just say? There’s plenty to go around for everybody, even if mommy gets the best part,” and you get winked at.

You stop your current task, which is opening a bunch of boxes with new clothes for your daughters and give him the look.

He starts laughing.

“Yeah, your mom knows what I’m talking about; she’s so lucky!”

“Right…” you mutter to yourself.

“I want to play with daddy’s hair,” Mia whines, attempting to touch the green locks. The others follow:

“Me too!”

“Me too, daddy!”

“I don’t have time little Dolls,” he huffs and gets ready to remove them from his lap.

Crying begins – the spoiled kids type; he spoils them rotten and you do too. Guilty as charged.

“Fine, fine, you win!” The Joker gives them the satisfaction and the girls are now on the floor around their father, caressing his hair and fighting about which one of them should get more to play with.  He just sits there in between them, huge grin on his face. 

Mia pecks his temple.

“Ahh, thank you Evie,” J sighs, very pleased with his current situation.

“I’m Mia, daddy,” she corrects him.

“No you’re not,” he teases more.

“I’m Evie, daddy,” the other little girl snickers.

“Nahh, you’re Emma, don’t lie to me.”

“No, I’m Emma, daddy,” the third one points.

“Nope, no way!” and the little ones start talking in the same time, trying to explain to their father which one is which.

“Are you sure?” he frowns, pretending to debate.

“U-hum,” they nod, lined up in front of him.

“Well, if you say so, I guess you know better…”

They jump around, excited The Joker finally got it and he wants to get up.

“Y/N, come help me up,” he signals you and you go over.

“What is it, old man? Can’t do it on your own?” you smile, aiding him.

“Hilarious, Kitten, you should do stand-up comedy,” he mumbles, suddenly sour.

“I should, I’m pretty funny. Something wrong?” you check, noticing the painful grimace on his face.

“It’s nothing; my back hurts again. These kids are wearing me out!” he blames it on the 3 small Princesses at his feet.

“It’s their job, baby,” and he gets a kiss from the Queen herself.

“Behave, woman!” he growls in your ear. “I have to go and you’re distracting me.”

“Hey, wanna make an appointment for a back massage tonight?” you offer, eager for some time alone with him.

“I can’t…I have so many things to plan and transactions on the black market to attend to.” There is definitely something going on behind those blue eyes you can’t quite pinpoint.

“Again?!…I want you to sleep here, you’re away too much. Stuff can wait, ok? Plus, I can help.”

“It’s fine, my Queen needs to rest,” J makes up this lame excuse again and heads towards the elevator with the girls following him.

“Daddy, up!” they whine since he’s not paying attention to them anymore.

“I can’t lift you up, Dolls. I’m busy, go play!” he sends them back to you and they pout but obey.

*****************

It’s very late and The Joker didn’t come home. You still keep on waiting, hoping he is going to show up. You smile in the darkness when you remember the first time you showed him the ultrasound picture with the triplets. J stood there still, holding it in his hands, staring with his mouth open.

“Oh my God!”

That’s all he said.

“Ummm, oh my God as in oh my God yes or as in oh, no ?” you asked, intrigued.

He didn’t even hear you.

“I’m so awesome!!!” he blurred out, snorting. “I’m more than incredible ! Three in one strike! Ha!”

“I think I have my share at this since I participated in the project,” you protested, annoyed.

“Shut up, Y/N, this is obviously me,” and he seemed so mesmerized and thrilled you actually let him win. “I have some serious skills,” J smirked, arrogant to a fault and you rolled your eyes so badly they almost fell off the back of your head.

And the things he would say when you got so big since you had three little beings growing inside of you.

“Damn, Pumpkin, you can audition for Godzilla’s part in the next movie!”

“You – you are the rudest person ever!” you got so mad but he didn’t stop.

“Well, maybe not Godzilla, I don’t want to exaggerate. I think you could get the part of a whale!”

You glared at him, pissed because you were fed up with his mocking. The Joker enjoyed teasing you more than anything. Such an easy prey due to your…condition. Just one look down at your bump and:

“I – I’m huge!” you started crying up a storm, hormonal and emotional since you were super pregnant, tired and cranky.

“Awwww, com’ere,” The Joker would try to fix it and made this strenuous sounds when you sat in his lap. “Jesus, woman, don’t break my legs!”

“You’re horrible, I hate you!” and you would wipe your eyes and your nose with your sleeve, not giving a crap. Too uncomfortable to care.

“Ewwww, Kitten, are you gonna change your shirt?!” J couldn’t help it; he had to taunt more.

“No, I don’t want to,” you would sniffle, not looking at him.

“That’s fine; you sure are a sight for sore eyes,” and he kissed you to make it better. “So sexy…for a whale,” he has to keep going, considering it his sacred duty to ridicule his Queen.

“I really hate you,” you complained, exasperated.

“Thank you, Doll,” and that silver grin got wider.

Once, he found you having a nervous breakdown at the hideout near The Bridge of Angels.

“What’s wrong, hm?” J cautiously approached, wondering what the new crisis is about.

“I was trying to load guns… “ and you took such a deep breath, not being able to stop bawling, “…and I dropped a box of bullets,” you show him the ammo on the floor, scattered all over the place. “I can’t even bend to pick them up,” and tears kept on rolling down your cheeks.

“That’s soooo sad, Pumpkin,” and he took your hands in his, kissing each finger. “These sausage fingers, so chubby and puffy, of course they can’t do anything.”

“You suck,” and kicked his ankle, but calmed down a bit.

“Thank you, Doll,” that satisfied smile lingered on his lips as he was finishing what he started.

When the girls were almost two years old, The Joker ended up at Arkham and took a while to bring him back. He was so out of it from meds and electroshock therapy that barely had the strength to crawl on the couch in the living room and passed out. Didn’t even go to see his daughters.

Evie was the one that heard the noises and woke up, came to see what’s going on and that pure joy on her face when she saw J made your heart skip a beat. You told the little one to be quiet and placed her on his chest; she fell back asleep right away.  You brought the other two sleepy heads and placed them on the sides of his body. He sensed the movements through his restless dreams and squeezed his arms around them, suddenly more at ease.

He knew he was home.

**************

You didn’t see him in a month. The Joker said he’s out of town with business and that was all. He responded to your texts and phone calls, but in a very short manner. Something is definitely not right. You just know it.

For the moment you are in the basement, watching him stash a few guns in a suitcase. You’re so upset you can’t think straight. The kids are not at the penthouse and J doesn’t want to wait for them to come back from the playground so he can see them.

“Where are you going, baby?” he gets questioned and that pisses him off.

“I have urgent matters to attend to, ok?! You know our lifestyle, I don’t have to explain it to you !!”

“Does this…urgent matter…have a name?” you whisper and he stops, giving you an evil gaze.

“You wanna do this NOW?”

“What… what exactly are we doing?” you panic, not sure what is going on.

“Of course she has a name, are you completely stupid ?! Didn’t you notice how much I have to pretend around you and YOUR noisy girls? I thought you were smarter than this!!!” the tirade begins and you are not prepared for it. “I am so tired of you, you bore me to death, can’t you see ?! Why do you think I keep on avoiding you, huh? I need someone younger, prettier and energetic to keep up with me!!!” he dramatically gestures, burning you with his blue eyes. “You’re none of these; not anymore !!!” J takes the suitcase and storms out, bumping into you as he passes by.

You gulp, stunned at all the hurtful words: “What?…”

“Don’t be pathetic and take the hint, Y/N!” the barks at you before disappearing up the staircase.

“I’m gonna kill you!” you yell after him, shaking from the tension. “And her too!!”

“Don’t make me come down there again or YOUR kids will be orphans!!” The Joker shouts and you hear the basement’s door being slammed so loud it makes you jump.

*************

You detest calling him. You do it for your children; they won’t stop asking about The Joker. What hurts the most is the fact that he doesn’t even bother to visit his little girls; very hard to find excuses on why their father is not present, especially when the triplets adore him.

They miss him badly and you telling them he’s on vacation all the time doesn’t help. It breaks your heart when they start crying:

“I miss my daddy,” Emma squeezes your arm and you wipe the tears, so upset it’s hard not to cry yourself.

“Me too,” Evie slides her head in your lap, whimpering.

“I want my daddy,” Mia weeps and you hold them close to you in the big, empty bed.

“He’s coming, honey,” and you kiss their foreheads. “He is on a vacation and he’s coming back soon, alright?”

“When, mommy?” the little voices insist.

“Soon, very soon,” you sigh, fighting to maintain a fake smile on your lips.

After they fall asleep, you carefully get out of bed and go on the balcony, calling again.

“What do you want?” J snaps as soon as he picks up.

“Are you going to come see your daughters? It’s been three months! I don’t know what to do anymore; they really miss you. Would you please come? Just for a little bit?” you beg, irritated you have to bargain for something you shouldn’t have to.

“I’m busy! I’ll try but I can’t promise anything.”

“Are you ready Mister J?” you hear the woman’s voice in the background and you drop the phone, startled. The screen cracks but you can still hear him:

“Yeah, coming! Hold on, she’s bothering me again!”

You bite on your cheek and grab the cell, tossing it over the edge of the terrace. You didn’t want to hear that.

***************

The home phone going off at 2am wakes you up abruptly. You answer as fast as you can, not wanting to wake up the little ones.

“Yes, Frost?” you mumble, tired, wondering what he wants.

“Hi, Y/N. I need to talk to you about Mister J,” Jonny begins and you won’t have any of it.

“Is he coming to see his kids?”

“I don’t know, but…”

“Then I don’t care!!” you raise your voice without realizing.

“Mommy…” Emma complains, turning towards you and you just hang up.

The phone rings again. “Stop calling, Frost!”

“I need to talk ab…”

You hang up and place the phone under all the extra pillows at the side of the bed. You feel it vibrating and ignore it.

After about an hour you hear the elevator going up at the penthouse.

Serioulsy?!

When the elevator’s doors open, Jonny Frost finds a very displeased Y/N in front of him, arms crossed on your chest.

“Can I help you?!” you sulk, vexed he has the nerve to actually come uninvited in the middle of the night.  

“I know you don’t want me here, but I really need to talk to you,” and he steps inside the living room, decided not to drop it.

“Is it about J?”

“Yes, I told you…” “I don’t care! The only news that would make me happy is him coming to see our daughters. That’s it. Is he coming?”

“I’m not sure wh…” “Then get the fuck out of my house!” you push Jonny, bitter and resentful. “Go serve his every need and that bitch he’s with. GO!!!”

Frost is a strong man; makes it hard for you to move him if he doesn’t want to be moved.

“There is no woman,” he utters, keeping his composure.

“Did he put you up to this?! Get out!”

At this point you are so mad you can’t listen to anything anymore.

“I’m not leaving. I need to talk to you. Y/N…” Frost gets in your face, still calm. “There is no woman. You know me; would I lie to you?”

***************

8:45am

You sneak inside the hideout, not having a clue on how you are going to handle the situation. I guess you’ll have to improvise as you go.

The Joker is coming out of the kitchen in a pair of shorts and halts when he sees you. Not a pleasant surprise, that’s for sure. He breaks the silence:

“What are you doing here?”

You don’t reply; you just analyze him and conclude it doesn’t seem good at all.

“Did…did that asshole ran his mouth?” J tilts his head to the left, grinding his teeth. That’s the only explanation he can think of and it makes him angry.

You ignore his inquiry and have a question of your own, even if you already know the answer:

“What are those?” you refer to the bruise-like spots on his skin; you can see them on his chest, a few on his arms and legs.

“Go away, Y/N. Go home to the girls!” he rushes you, wanting to get rid of your presence as fast as possible.

You nod a no and step towards him.

“It’s contagious, stay away!” The Joker snarls, backing out.

“No it’s not,” and you get closer.

“Are you ready, Mister J?” the woman’s voice coming from kitchen alerts of a third person in the warehouse.

“Is that your girlfriend?” you give him the look as you slip by his body and finally see her: probably in her mid 50’s, holding a syringe. Her eyes get big when she realizes you’re there. “Younger and prettier, hm?” you address The Joker and he’s silent, aware you already know what’s going on.

“Give me that!” you gesture towards the syringe and she hesitates:

“Mister J…”

“I said give me that!!!!” you yell, yanking it from her hand. “This is my job, not yours! Get out! “

She looks at him and J signals it’s ok. The woman complies and walks away, leaving you two alone. You lick your lips and The Joker comes closer, taking a sit on a chair nearby.

“Well, since it’s your job…” he extends his arm and waits. You go in front of him, struggling to be tough.

“Tell me where…,” you sniffle and his finger shows you the spot on the shoulder.

“This is so awkward, Kitten,” he slowly blinks, grabbing your shaky hand. “I can do it.”

“No, I will, “ and the needle finds its way into the skin, slowly releasing the medicine. “I hate you!” you burst into tears as soon as you’re finished.

He knows why; no explanation needed.

“I hate everybody too, so I understand,” he pretends to be sympathetic.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” and you look so devastated J can’t make a stupid joke about it.

“You and the girls have to get used with me not being around,” he admits to the truth.

“How – how bad is it?” you stutter, wishing you could really hate him.

“Pretty bad, it’s spreading fast.”

You cry harder.

“All this stuff you have around, is it helping any?”

“Somewhat, I guess… I’m still breathing for the moment.”

The fool doesn’t even notice how unbearable it is for you to hear such things. You straddle his lap and hug him tight, sobbing.

“You’re not dying; you’re gonna live forever,” you manage to articulate.

“God help Gotham then, hm?” The Joker holds you so firmly it hurts but you don’t feel the ache. “You should go home to OUR girls. This is making me very sick; I don’t want you here. I don’t want you around it. Shit, I don’t want to be around it, but I have no choice.”

“I want to be around it,” you wipe your face with the sleeve of your shirt and he really needs to point out:

“Ewww, Princess, are you gonna change your shirt?”

“No, I don’t want to,” and you kiss him, too desperate to smile at the silly memory.

*****************

The medication has such nasty side effects: gives him something similar to seizures and a lot of nausea. Even if he swallowed pills to help with that, it took a while to kick in. The back pain was so strong you couldn’t move him afterwards. He remained on the bathroom floor, curled up in ball, resting his head in your lap, drained. You used towels to cover him up and he dozed off, exhausted even if it’s only 9:59am.

You text Frost to ask for a favor:

“Please bring the kids.”

** The girls enter the bathroom and gasp when they see their father. “Daadddy!!!!” they all exclaim, running and dropping on their knees by him, happy like you never seen them before.

“Ssstttt,” you bring your finger to your lips. “Please be quiet, daddy’s not well; he needs to sleep, OK?”

“Ok, mommy,” Emma bends over to peck his cheek and the other siblings do the same.

“Is daddy back from vacation?” Evie excitedly stares at her father, not being able to take her eyes off him.

“Yes, honey, he is,” and they are so excited they get up and run out, fastly returning with blankets and pillows. They stash them around you two, cuddling on the pile of fluffy covers, all eager to touch The Joker. They hold his fingers and he wants to open his eyes but can’t. 

His clouded mind has the strength to recall that he hates everyone, except the annoying Godzilla he can’t stand and three little Dolls. No names because it’s a well-guarded secret.

J gently squeezes their fingers in his sleep, growling.  

He knows he’s home.

Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

[tieflng]

chocobox 2020 letter under the cut, because i do things and participate in things now i think.

dear chocolatier: thanks for writing for me! my actual requests were sparse because they were. quite long. especially the pyre one, because it turns out i have a lot of thoughts about minor/historical background characters as seen in the book of rites. so my prompts are all here, along with the dnws just repeated for good measure. thanks for reading all of this, i hope you can find something to have fun with.

pyre -

oops!! all golathanian! i was just really drawn to him reading the book of rites; there's something about an ordinary (certainly flawed) human man making the choices that brought every event in the game to pass and turned him into a godlike eldritch basketball saint. also, 'you gave your freedom that i might yet have mine' is a line i've been thinking about for an entire year. also, the g in lgbt is for golathanian. i'm really into the idea that the man the commonwealth could lionize as the ideal of strength is admirable not as a conqueror or warlord, but as someone with commitments to others that make him overcome his flaws-- someone who does the cooking for the group and makes dry comments and lectures out of worry and has a stupid laugh and acts like a grouch when he is secretly a giant softy. (and someone who is visibly gay and gnc, because the base of my mazlow hierarchy of needs is gay/bi men presented as admirable figures of authority, and i think that's something that should have been in the game, even if the commonwealth in-universe was going to erase it.) the heart and idealism and earnestness is what makes him worthy of respect, and that he's human, even if technically he ends up as a demigod sports-omen star.

i'm firmly in favor of autistic scribes (solidarity with chae) and scribes as large-r Readers. aside from soliam and khaylmer who both have cis energy i'm very up for any of the requested characters as trans or nonbinary, and near and dear to my heart especially are transfem chae and triesta and a nonbinary/my-gender-is-just-gay gol. explicit lgbt identities in general are a plus. environmental details-- i adore the richness and mystery and wonder of the downside, but i'd also kill for some sahrian imperial court ambiance. adventure is good, character study is always good, shenanigans and mischievous escapades between friends, misunderstandings that work out or not, angst with comfort is fine, moral or philosophical dilemmas or conversations (perfect for this group). it'd be nice to see something about titans, about (r/R)eading, the downside as an eldritch landscape, the simultaneous decay and might of imperial sahr, about turning into celestial bodies, a good old fashioned slow burn/mutual pining.

ha'ub & gol - i've always imagined these two are best friends - the first two scribes, 2/3 of the og triumvirate, and both dealing with the fact that 'mercy' means they have to keep soliam murr's fool ass alive. ha'ub is a chaotic little bumpkin who's never belonged anywhere, gol is an increasingly long-suffering visitor to purgatory dimension-- i feel like for all that he knows more about survival here than his new Big Friends, ha'ub feels just as indebted to them for being able to relate to him. it can't be easy being the first imp with human-like intelligence, or at least surely the only imp you know. misunderstandings between different species, teaching each other about sahrian human and downside imp customs, teaming up against howlers (did the howler/imp distinction exist yet, if all imps were wild and drive imps didn't exist??), learning to communicate with someone whose speech and language are very different. gol standing up for ha'ub in the 'why does an imp get a triumvirate' debate. why is ha'ub accursed? too, if there's gol/soliam, there's an opportunity for 'just kiss him already', or whatever misunderstandings imps have about human relationships/will-they-or-won't-they tensions.

gol & chae - please call the vagabond girl chae! i loved her basically at the moment i saw her and her arc means a lot to me. she’s autistic coded but her belief in the scribes-- in actually hearing and speaking to the scribes-- is never undercut by the narrative. and she’s immensely strong! she’s survived in the downside by herself from 17-19! and imo at least the scribe known for being strong and resilient and untiring, not to mention idealistic and loyal, would admire the absolute fuck out of her. i’d like her childhood as moontouched/homeless and displaced, her topside ending as a religious leader and inspiration in the sahrian union, wandering alone in the downside, her role with the nightwings-- i just really want to see what conversations these two would get up to, i want them to learn from each other, i want chae to have support and encouragement and comfort from everyone’s favorite nomad scribe. what does she ask him? what does he tell her? passing messages from ti’zo or the heralds? looking for advice/help on behalf of the nightwings, or just comfort when she’s feeling out of place? god, the fact that she’s in the companion class that parallels khaylmer-- do they talk about that, or how does gol feel? there are so many damn good interactions here. please don’t infantilize her or portray her beliefs and reactions as nonsensical or weird.

gol/soliam - i have so many thoughts about these two that i almost don’t want to say everything. my sense is they didn’t get together until the downside, with a very long enemies > grudging allies > friends > lovers, at least on gol’s end. you don’t jump over the edge of the world to kill someone and immediately kiss and make up. topside before he gets disillusioned there’s potential for that good courtly love - gol pining hopelessly (and perhaps obliviously, depending on how soliam acts towards him) for his beautiful distant liege, sol who so very clearly did not feel anything genuine for anyone as emperor, but who maybe has some ‘oooh, master-general ;)’ poking out of the hedonism-flavored depression. and then he falls down the river and realizes he was a big idiot. i could do very early sweet moments, courtly aesthetic and accidental intimacy, seeing a tender side to the emperor that most people never get close enough for/soliam murr Almost having a real feeling other than physical attraction. i could also do rebuilding their trust and rapport in the downside, mutual pining, growing closer despite everything and wondering privately if they couldn’t actually work out. or established relationship tenderness and fluff. i could also very much do explicit content with these two.

gol & khaylmer - ahh, yes. enemies. i got the impression from gol’s account (and gol’s account is really all we get) that these two hated each other, to ‘put his picture on the bull’s eye of the dartboard’ levels of hatred-- but also, maybe, that they had more in common than they wanted. gol and khaylmer as the only two grownups in a decadence-obsessed imperial court? certainly as the closest advisers to the emperor, whatever that means when your emperor is soliam murr. i always got the impression that gol was a bit more of a bastard than he let on-- nomad masteries are very ‘now i’ve thrown him off his rhythm!’ and you can’t tell me ‘preferred to fall on his enemies by surprise under the cover of darkness’ Isn’t the trait of a highly slippery character. then again, their worldviews and beliefs might as well be from two different planets, but then again again, do we really get an unbiased opinion on khaylmer to know what his worldviews really is? two driven and idiosyncratic people, more similar than they think, who just deeply hate and misunderstand each other at a fundamental level. also, please a deep dive into khaylmer’s head. lot of opportunity for backroom dealing and court drama here.

scribes & scribes - scribe adventures! or scribe shenanigans and arguments! i see these eight as having strong and contrasting personalities, but fundamentally caring about each other, even if they can get into real drama and conflict. fighting titans, exploring together, writing the book of rites, becoming eldritch basketball gods. found family is great, early stages of found family that grouchily insist they're business associates is better. there is so much you could do with these losers as a collective and i love them with my entire heart.

dnw: fantasy homophobia or transphobia, dubcon/noncon including under the influence, hand/eye trauma, unsanitary things, angst without a positive/hopeful resolution. in terms of explicit content, please no humiliation or impact play/physical pain. fandom specific: don't undercut chae's feelings or beliefs or write her in an ableist way. i also see gol and soliam as gay, and milithe and triesta as lesbians, so i'd prefer no references to past/current m/w relationships for them-- not because having m/w history invalidates gay peoples' identities, but because for me personally that'd be a horrible experience and it makes me sad thinking about my favorite characters going through that.

hades -

i did not expect to like a large soft-spoken honor-bound minotaur who duels you in honorable combat as much as i did, but probably should have knowing basic facts about myself. anything asterius-focused is great-- i really want to see him well-received in elysium and with a partner who cares about him......! he deserves nice things! elysium as a setting is so lush, environmental details, moments of respite, greenery, the river lethe, the elysian stadium, the beauty of eternal paradise And the fact that the people who live here decide to just beat the tar out of each other for fun.

this game has a really strong cast, and i'd love to see mentioned or featured olympians/house denizens/run npcs other than the requested characters. patroclus is a strong possibility for a fic in elysium, but achilles, hypnos, hermes/artemis/athena, and eurydice are also favorites of mine. i'm always down for explicit gay/bi identities, and i've been toying with trans masc zag and/or nonbinary aster.

Asterius/Zag - the inherent romantic tension of having a standing date to fight someone in hand to hand combat. but also, meeting outside of the arena in some way - a peaceful moment in a fountain chamber? maybe aster helps zag in a tough spot with some exalted? they both meet up in patroclus's chamber? i like how aster respects you for your strength and ability and the comparison he draws between them both as having been born monstrous/in darkness could use some (gentle) exploration. both of them uncovering hidden depths or softness in each other.

Asterius/Theseus/Zag - the inherent romantic tension of having a standing date to fight two people in hand to hand combat. i very much see this as an aster-centric v-- i don't really buy these or zag being into each other on their own, but learning to get along for the sake of their mutual boyfriend is good, and the comedy that ensues. anything i like in aster/zag or aster/these would be good here. absolutely not opposed to an aster-centered threesome (he deserves it).

Asterius/Theseus - how did these persuade hades to move the bull of minos to elysium? how did they become champions in the stadium? fighting by each others' sides, aster discovering after a mortal lifetime confined to a labyrinth that he's into men, these feeling weirdly compelled to show off or impress him. theseus training him in 'heroic ways'. theseus's lines about ariadne felt needlessly gross/borderline misogynistic and i'd like for them either to not come up Or for aster to sit him down and give him a piece of his mind. that's his sister, you idiot.

Cerberus & Zag - just a boy and his dog! cerby comforting a younger zag when hades is on his bullshit, or kid zag sleeping all cuddled up with his pubby. growing up and watching the house change. zag venting to cerberus or asking for advice, like you do with your pets when you don't expect an answer (and maybe getting one??). something in styx would be good, or zag finding any other kind of treat or toy and smuggling it back in from one of his runs.

dnw: fantasy homophobia or transphobia, dubcon/noncon including under the influence, hand/eye trauma, unsanitary things (please light on the descriptions of the satyr sack, lmao), angst without a positive/hopeful resolution. in terms of explicit content, please no humiliation or impact play/physical pain. as far as fandom specific: please nothing that portrays hades as good or justified in any of his actions. nothing zag/meg or zag/than; i really prefer zag and meg to have acknowledged their feelings and decided to stay friends.

arthuriana/let’s be real i’m here for the gawain and the green knight - 

......i'm just in this for the inherent homoeroticism. explicitly gay/bi gawain and bi bertilak is great, bertilak and his wife both being in on it is great, threesome? more christmas games? courtly flirting? being cozy inside? going on a dangerous quest? anything sounds great, just have fun with it!

dnw: homophobia including period-typical (just not why i read fanfiction), dubcon/noncon including under the influence, unsanitary things, hand/eye trauma, cheating/negative feelings between the hautdeserts, angst. in terms of explicit content, please no humiliation or impact play/physical pain.