#'a woman who needs to present as a man due to the intense misogyny of her/his/their time' (feel free to fact check me here)

[yurious-george]

saw a post claiming mizu was a canonical trans man when mizu has 3 genders: man, woman, and unlovable monster, and unlovable monster always wins. like yeeeeessss mizu intentionally presents male for the freedom it affords him but was canonically 'happiest' as a woman. saying simply 'he's a trans man' is pretty reductive for a character who hates themselves so much they have no solid identity outside of 'monster,' and whose amorphous gender identity is a central aspect of the show

[supernovafeather]

Don't Listen To Them

Duke Leto x F!Overweight!Reader

Warnings : Humiliation, fat-shaming, fatphobia, misogyny, angst, fluff, age gap of you squint.

- - - - - - - -

Working on Arrakis, for the House Atreides, is an immense honour. Travelling the hallways, the rooms, the streets to do what needs to be done is almost a privilege in itself. You may be a humble maidservant, but you wouldn't ask for more.

The pace of work is intense, you won't deny it, but most of the time complaining would be a childish action. So you keep your thoughts for yourself when some colleagues or guests look at you the wrong way. Most of the maidservants here are thinner than you. All of them, to be more precise. No need to say that some "old fashioned" diplomats from the outside or even the inside don't really appreciate your presence. You may work well, they will always treat you with less respect. Not insults, but more those stares from the corner of their eyes when you clean the tables during dinners, or when you walk past them. Not that you want to give them too much importance. The people you serve are the Atreides.

It may be cocky to say that you feel safe with the Duke himself, but his aura is the one of a self confident man never letting anyone disrespecting what is linked to himself. He is rarely their in front of you, basically only during the dinners and sometimes when you take care of his chambers with other maidservants as he comes back briefly for a reason or another. The coat of arms of the House Atreides embroidered on your dark blue simple dress is enough to make your heart swollen with pride. This symbol is like a sacred talisman to you.

Usually your neutral face can wear a soft and polite smile when you are in service. Discreet, yet enough to show your respect to the people present. But today, your stormy eyes threatening to give birth to salted streams at any moment are staring at the ground, your teeth clenched so hard that your head is shaking slightly, your fists behind your back as you have to listen to what is being said.

"Don't you feel out of place here," asks the old foreigner noble as he sits more comfortably on his chair, an infuriating grin on his lips, his voice trembling due to his old age. "After all such a House expects excellence. Everything has to be... perfect. Flawless. It is a shame that a pretty woman like you has to suffer from... well that your beauty is stained by this... condition."

You would like to say that your lack of response is because this locust-like man does not deserve to hear your voice. But honestly ? Being defied by such a powerful guest is intimidating. You can't make any faux pas that could cost something to Leto Atreides. At the end your ruler is what matters the most. By the way his absence is getting heavy on your shoulders as you try to keep your calm.

"Do not get me wrong young lady, you are as graceful as you can be while carrying... dirty dishes, food... and... all this kind of things," he says with a scoff as you squint to the ground. "But I would have thought that a man like him would like a better company. You are not the best - I am not implying that you are a bad one, once again do not get me wrong - company to make the men like me feel... well received here."

Hearing the door behind you opening, you inhale, doing your best to reply, your pupils locking with the smiling guest's.

"Sir, do not get me wrong neither, but I can assure you that I am qualified for the tasks needing to be accomplished. My physical appearance does not have anything to do with this."

The footsteps coming in your direction slow down a bit before stopping between the both of you, Duke Leto frowning at your trembling form before squinting a warning to the guest who stands up without looking embarrassed.

"My Lord, I am sorry to tell you that this maidservant is... emotionally fragile," he says quietly with a slight hand gesture towards you. "The young generation is... less tough that mine at this age. I am 80 years old, I know what I am talking about. I have seen people changing throughout time."

"Thank you for your opinion sir," replies Duke Leto with a sharpened tone remaining low enough to seem almost polite, "but disturbing the maidservants working for my House is not something that will be tolerated. Especially behind my back."

Feeling ashamed by your own weakness, you stiffen your stance as the Duke looks at you, his harsh features softening a bit, his voice firm.

"Come back to your chambers and get ready for tonight. Join the kitchens as usual before dinner."

You simply nod, his order clear and your legs shaking too much while on your way to your chambers to disobey. You need to take your breath once alone, some wave of melancholy washing over your mind as you sit on your bed. Tears do not flood, they prefer to stay where they are. Even this mix of anger and sadness is not enough. The thing you are the most ashamed of is this... reaction of yours when the Duke came back. You should have remained silent. After all Leto Atreides does not need to see you falling into pieces in the middle of a private meeting. Even as respectful as he is, a leader certainly does not care about your thoughts on your own body. Maybe he shares his opinion after all and is just too polite to attack you on it.

During the dinner in the Duke's chambers, you do as you are supposed to. This time you just don't smile at all. You don't look at anyone in the eyes while the two men are talking. You bring the dishes and bring them back once empty.

Such a lifeless behavior coming from you doesn't go unnoticed and once the dinner is over, you inhale sharply as your name is pronounced. Turning around slowly to face the Duke, you keep your composure. The guest is gone now. There is no reason to feel pressured or anything.

But after saying your name, he steps closer to you, a severe face soothed by worried eyes. You never noticed how the dim lights could dig his tense features.

"Please. I need to know if anything wrong happened between you and this man," he demands while standing right in front of you. "what did this man do to make you feel so uncomfortable ?"

"Nothing deserving your attention my Lord," you answer in a weak voice as his face only hardens at your words. "Your guest was only mistaking my physical appearance with my job."

Not understanding what you are referring to, he frowns and you are close to stepping back as he walks closer, staring at you while leaning towards your anxious form. His expressive eyes are to die for. You shiver at the raw strength emanating from his dark orbs, your lips parting slightly to breath more easily.

"Were there any unsolicited requests coming from him ? Any disgusting gesture or comments ?"

His words don't make you shy. His eyes, yes, they do. You are like a shadow grazing the ground at every footsteps. And a shadow is not supposed to exist near a luminous flame like this.

"He... he made some... degrading comments about my appearance. But my Lord there is no need to..." but you get cut off by him, his tone getting firmer.

"Was he harassing you sexually ?"

"No... he insulted me by... mentioning my weight several times," you admit, feeling foolish by the absurdity of the situation. "There is nothing else my Lord. My nerves just... I was unable to react in a professional way. I am sorry if I did anything wrong. My Lord."

He sighs as you lower your eyes.

"You are not in fault here, little one," he says as your cheeks warm up at the unexpected name. "I will talk talk to him about this matter. In any case he will be gone by tomorrow morning, as already scheduled."

Forgetting how to talk, you only nod. Is it a lack of respect ? Perhaps. You don't even know for sure.

"Little one. Look up. I need to see your eyes."

You recognize the commanding tone, but not the softness in his voice. He can be gentler than usual when exhausted and alone with you as you cross his path somewhere, but nothing like this. You obey, biting your tongue as, for the first time, you feel the flames melting you slowly. Tenderness in one's eyes is something, but coming from Duke Leto ? You can only refuse to think this is a part of your reality.

"Don't listen to people like him. Despite his personal wealth and power he is trying to find any way possible to feel some sort of childish superiority. A Lord having to attack an innocent maidservant in my back ? This is not something he should be proud of."

A sandstorm must be less noisy than your heart beating desperately in your chest as the Duke rests his hands on your shoulders. He never touched you. Never. It is... more than enjoyable. Enjoyable is definitely an understatement. You are convinced he notices something shifting in your eyes by the way his pupils take you in. Everything is burning now.

"He is a coward. Don't hate yourself, this would be a waste of time," he says in a distracted voice as he gently pinches your right cheek threatening to combust itself under his touch. His skin is calloused at some parts, but some spots on his fingers are still soft as he rubs your cheek, your eyes closing by themselves. "They choose to despise things that are a part of you. Then let them do this mistake but don't let them destroy you my dear. You deserve much better."

His voice is as sweet as honey to your ear. Why is he standing so close to you ? Leto Atreides ? How is it possible ? How can the Duke be embracing you like this without getting repulsed by your form ? An arm around your waist and a palm resting on your nape as you open your eyes slowly. He should be disgusted, after all men of power seemed to have a clear preference... for the others. But you are the one he is calling "little one" and "my dear". The one holding you like this, pressing you softly against his chest. He can't fake these tender eyes.

"... I don't know... what to say my Lord," you whisper as you try to keep some kind of composure. "Thank you. That is for sure," you laugh gently as you notice his eyes locking on your lips.

"Don't say anything if you don't want to," he whispers before making your eyes shut again when his thumb caresses your bottom lip. "I am already flattered to have brought this smile back to such a pretty yet saddened face."

Your fingers grab the front of his dark clothes softly, temptation getting stronger as you feel his beard on your cheek, his purring voice obscenely hot at your ear as he whispers with his vocal chords vibrating.

"You are beautiful. You are clever. You are what they hate and what I love to see. May I show you I much you are also what I love to touch ?"

The slight distressed squeal leaving your lips makes him chuckle as his gaze plunges into yours, taming it immediately. Then this is not this important anymore as you feel for the first time his beard tickling your face, your hungry lips joining his, arms holding you close without any hesitation, even begging for you to get closer.

- - - - - -

Thanks for reading, please comment and reblog if you liked it ! ☺️

@santiagogarcia

[trickstarbrave]

i get to make posts abt whatever i want and i like the long form ability tumblr has so im gonna make a post here abt it instead of a 29 tweets long thread abt it on twitter.com’s hellsite even if its a bigger thing there for ppl to yell at me: 

“how can you be NB and a woman? why even bother being aligned? why be more than one category? how do you know this isn’t a common experience with womanhood and it’s just misogyny?” 

there is no one experience of womanhood. this is true. i don’t know if this is a truly common or uncommon experience. i dont know how every woman feels. maybe a great deal binary women feel the same way, and maybe how i feel is entirely different from how women feel. but gender is not just an internal thing but an external thing. it’s, for me, both. no, wearing a dress or feminine clothes doesnt make you a woman and wearing masculine clothes make you a man, but how we live our lives and process our own thoughts is informed by the society and culture around us. all i can do is use that lens i have been given to interpret how i feel.

i dont think i am a binary woman. i use he/him and don’t like she/her or many feminine parts of language used to describe me, which isn’t something i see many binary women do. sure i can use pronouns i dont even like, much like how i can change my name to something i dont like, but im more so in the business of doing things that hurt no one for my own comfort and going from there. still though, not all of my behaviors are not unlike how i think womanhood is. i experience society primarily as someone interpreted as a woman. im okay to a degree with it too. i am subjected to misogyny and sexism. i am a primary target of those. i feel i have a vested interest in women’s rights not just because someone may mistake me for a woman but bc for all intense purposes i kind of am one. i love women and my attraction to women is based on that. i am attracted to other nb ppl with a relation to womanhood. 

for me it means i am partially out of the box. standing with one foot in and one foot out of it into something that isn’t manhood. for a while i assumed if i dont feel 100% like a woman the alternative was manhood. or gender fluidity. or that there is only a handful of experiences you’re allowed with being nonbinary like being entirely third gendered or agender. i relate to womanhood, and sometimes i dont at all. i feel it doesn’t quite fit, a label that applies only half the time and the other half manhood doesn’t apply to me at all either. for women’s issues and women’s spaces there are times i will be heavily involved and present bc they are issues that concern me and have resources i want and need. 

binary society, however, says you’re not allowed to have these varied experiences. you either feel like a woman and use she/her pronouns and look and act a certain way, or you feel like a man, use he/him pronouns, and look and act a different way. that if you don’t your existence is incoherent and irrelevant. it does not account for what each of these parts mean and serve (how pronouns can be very different from presentation or how people can be unable or unwilling to present a certain way), it just says “this is a list of things women do and this is a list of things men do”, and i say “well i do a lot of things on the woman’s list but don’t fill in the checklist entirely”. im on the fringe of womanhood, but orbit it enough that it’s still applicable as a category. 

not everyone will feel like me and reject being a woman and a man entirely, but i reject the idea that there is two distinct boxes that can only be solved by adding a third or fourth box. being nonbinary for me is existing in some level outside of strict boundaries or roles to any degree, and that means you dont have to reject womanhood or manhood to do so. you dont have to reject femininity or masculinity to do so. that some of us will be close enough to the box it might seem like it’s unnecessary to count us as outside it in any way but i say it does matter if we say it does. maybe most people exist outside of these boundaries to varying degrees and it doesn’t impact them, but it impacts me. being nonbinary means you may not be easily understood by other people. just like how bisexuals do not need to have an equal amount of partners who are men and women to be “real”, their bisexuality is important. if a bi woman dates 30 women and 1 man genuinely then she is still bi, not “basically a lesbian”. if a bi man dates 30 women and 1 man, he is not “basically straight”. i am not “basically a woman who should change my pronouns and language”, im woman aligned nb.

nb ppl can also be gay, or lesbian, or bi, or any other complicated sexuality bc they are unaligned and like women or men specifically, or only like nb ppl like them and we dont rly have good words for that ppl recognize. a binary gender system is like binary code, which means youre either a 0 or 1. theres no room for numbers between that, nor numbers outside it. all you can do is break the binary system that no longer servers a good purpose. and that also means we have to think in different ways about sexuality as we know, which was informed by a binary. 

nonbinary isn’t a clear cut thing. it isn’t as easy to understand as manhood and womanhood. our society wasn’t built to explain and understand it so i don’t fault people who dont. but trying to simplify nb identities into something easier to understand for you is wrong. being a woman or man isn’t smth as simplistic as people like to act like it is either. for now this is how i feel and communicate it. im a nb lesbian. i use he/him. pronouns dont determine my gender as unaligned nb ppl can use any pronouns like they as well, and manhood is more complex than simply using 1 set of pronouns. if you think im a man you look silly. if you think i share everything in common with women you look silly. it isnt entirely intuitive or straightforward but i am making due with what i have in a way that doesnt hurt others and isn’t based on bigotry. i dont reject womanhood because of bigotry, i know it exists and i fight against it. i love women and feel im close enough that women can love me too. i feel alienated partially because im a lesbian even, and other lesbians go through this to varying degrees too. 

[constantlyirksome]

Review: Euphoria’s First Season Finale was Aesthetically Stunning but Narratively Clunky.

Going into the Euphoria season one finale we had a lot of questions: Would Fezco get arrested? Would Maddy and Nate get back together, or would he finally get what was coming to him? Would #Rules make it? Unfortunately, due to the episode's reliance on non-linear storytelling, we left with more questions than answers.

The Halloween episode used a similar narrative structure, the party was the centre of it and all the other scenes were flashbacks, in the end coming together in a satisfying way. Unfortunately, it didn’t work well at all this episode, while the core of the episode is the school dance (a classic hotbed for teenage drama) it’s not clear when all the other scenes occurred in relation to it, end it ended on multiple cliff-hangers.

Let’s talk about Nate and Maddy first. I have praised Jacob Elordi in the past because getting people to like a character is one thing, but to create and act out a character as loathsome as Nate takes talent. His key scenes with his father, Rue, and Maddy all had an incredible intensity and heat, he’s so convincing as a brute you wish that Rue’s fantasy, lighting Nate on fire and shooting him, was real.

He continues a lot of his patterns; first, he bullies Rue in a tense faceoff. Elordi and Zendaya have incredible rival chemistry, and as Nate sowed the seeds of doubt for Rue and Jule’s relationship, Rue threatened to burn his whole family down. He abused Maddy verbally and physically. The question of his and his father's sexuality popped up and honestly, that’s a thread I’m a little tired of. Internalized homophobia on that level, if they are gay, isn’t something I as a gay man care to watch.

Nate singlehandedly wins a football match but his father still berates him for not doing enough as a captain. Nate does what he does best, gets in his dads face, but his dad doesn’t back down and when they get into an uncomfortable physical confrontation where Nate is overpowered and breaks down completely. Like a child in a supermarket, he cries and thrashes and then begins hurting himself in his rage. This is a man who has gone through some serious emotional abuse, repression coupled with a genetic inflated ego, arrogance and violent misogyny. He was bound to explode, and he does so in such huge way I just have to applaud Elordi again. But the question is, was the tantrum before or after the dance?

Maddy did a lot of growing after being covered in the human manure that is Nate and decides she’s had enough.

“You’re abusive, psychopathic, and I hate the way you make me feel…” she says as they slow dance. I love Maddy, and this is an aspiring thing to see, a girl in the grips of an abusive relationship, who until now knew how sick it was but couldn’t leave, make the decision to cut it off. And props to her for trying to assure Nate that It’s Okay to Be Gay and that sexuality is a spectrum while he was screaming in her face. What an icon.

Cassey deals with her decision to terminate her pregnancy, weirdly McKay isn’t in the episode at all. At the dance, she says she never wants to fall in love again (honestly what a mood,) meaning they split up after she had her abortion, meaning either he is as shitty as every other man on the show or the show just didn’t know what to do with him. During her procedure she tunes out and listens to music, imagining herself ice-skating instead. It’s a beautifully shot moment, her on a blacked-out ice rink, completely alone, no McKay cheering her on. She does have her sister though, and at the scenes, for the dance they sit and laugh at other people which is always fun.

Kat got probably the only “happy” end to her story arc, finding Ethan on the dance floor, she realizes she can be the bad ass, confident, empowered woman she wants to be without being cruel, or shutting herself off emotionally. She finds a good middle ground and it’s very sweet to see her open up after so many episodes of her being so stoic.

Ethan delivers possibly the most romantic speech ever: “This is high school, will we last forever? Probably not. Someone will probably get hurt, but I’ll do my best to make sure that person is me.” What a cutie!  Mazel Tov to the happy couple.

Fezco and Ashtray (just learned that’s what the little kid's name is) don’t get arrested, but he is still in trouble with drug dealer Mouse, whom he owns money to. His solution is to put on a ski mask and rob some guy, I’m unsure if this man is narratively relevant, or if he’s just rich. He’s got stacks of cash and prescription pills in a drawer so Fez gets lucky either way. When the guy pulls a gun, Fez proves how hard he really is, that Nate should be worried, and beats the guy in front of his kid. Fez has been toted as the best man on the show and it’s sad to say after that scene he probably still is. There’s something so likable about Fez and Angus Cloud that has you blaming the guy getting robbed for trying to be brave instead of blaming Fez for robbing him. Audiences perceptions around men these days are so warped, and standards are so low that characters like Fezco, who seems genuinely okay deep down, become the ones we’re drawn to. It’s weird, but I’m guilty of it too, because while he gives Mouse the money, Mouse spots blood on the bills and grabs his gun, leading the question, “does Fez get shot?” and I hoped to god he didn’t.

Finally our heroes Rue and Jules. Jules does Rue’s eye makeup, in a very similar way to how Anna did hers the last episode, and sings Anna’s praises, casually letting slip that she did sleep with the other girl. Later that night at the dance Rue finds her taking selfies and sending them to Anna. While Rue and Jules aren’t in a relationship, while Jules isn’t Rue's keeper, her sponsor, or her girlfriend it still came off kind of dickish. Jules deserves to be as free as she wants but she has never been good at communicating. She tells Rue that she loves her, and she wants to kiss her, (they do, it’s very steamy), and that she doesn’t want Rue to change… But when a sloppily planned escape to the city between the two of them falls through, Jules ends up leaving Rue behind, going back to Anna essentially.

Rue and Jules were connected and were in a lot of ways perfect for each other, outsiders with the same sick views of the world, but in so many ways they weren’t right for one another, between Rue's addiction/sobriety and Jule’s lifestyle there were few ways were you could see it working out but it was still sad to see, and the way it happened didn’t make a terrible amount of sense. Jules escapes with Rue, but ditches her even though it was Rue’s plan? And the worst part is that that’s what Nate predicted would happen when he was fighting with Rue.

We end on a mishmash of scenes with Rue, Jules and her family, good flashbacks, and a flashback to a fight with her mother that was so bad Rue was kicked out of home, but when did this all happen? One flashback clues us onto the fact that Rue’s red sweatshirt was actually her dads, but other than that the scenes are confusing. Back in the present Rue puts on her dad's hoodie and snorts a line of something, officially falling off the wagon. The question, made less clear after the coming scenes, is did she die? Many people believe she’s only able to know everyone’s business every episode because she dies. 

Then, bizarrely it turns into a music video of sorts, if not a trippy one. You think Rue is revisiting more memories as she stumbles in a drug-induced state (Zendaya’s physicality here was fantastic) as her family ignores her, but then her dad is there, and then suddenly she’s in a sea of dancers and she’s (Zendaya) singing Labrinth's All For Us. (I already have it saved on Spotify talk about a BOP.)

It’s beautifully shot, choreographed and performed. The whole episode was beautiful, from the girls dance outfits, to the makeup, Cassey’s skate scene, and then the end dance. But it speaks to one of the biggest issues I have with Euphoria, which is if you take away the cinematography, great acting, the costuming and the killer soundtrack, Euphoria is narratively up and down. This episode was confusing, highlighted by the absurd ending. With season two confirmed more focus needs to go into planning for the future and making sure everything lines up. Speculation is Rue might be dead, or near dead but she only did one line of something so I think she’s fine, but alive or not the finale might have been so much more satisfying if things were a tiny bit clearer.

[thedeadflag]

I've been thinking about something - would love your thoughts on it. Is it transphobic for cis women to walk around with "pussy power" signs? I have, and I don't claim to speak for all women when I do. I know not all women have vaginas. But for me, my personal brand of womanhood has a lot to do with the fact that I do, and what that means. Do you have to speak for all women when protesting as a feminist? I want to be inclusive and also speak out about my subjective experience of womanhood 1/2

2/2 I also get that only ever preaching about your own issues and experiences is not intersectional, and not cool. I definitely will and do show up for my trans sisters as well. I’m just wondering where the line is drawn. When I’m speaking from my unique experience of being a woman (a white, cis, lesbian woman, in my case) and when I’m being excluding. I want to know so that I can do better, if I need to. If you feel you have the time, as I said, would love to hear your thoughts!

I mean, the big issue with things like protests, marches, etc. is that there’s no actually detailed dialogue happening, no nuance. And depending on demographics, it can be easy for a themed march to take on a certain message if enough people present it in their one-liners, slogans, etc. they have on their signs and clothes.

That doesn’t have to be a bad thing, of course, but it can pretty easily erase the more marginalized who are made less visible or invisible by the others, or whatnot.

So is it transphobic for cis women to attend Women’s protests/marches with “Pussy Power” signs? A few? Probably not. A majority? Yeah, probably.

That can, of course, be potentially moderated by also carrying or wearing things that visibly (as in, not a tiny pin or some shit) fight the cissexist reaction to equate vulvas/vaginas/etc. to womanhood. 

Like, you could have a sign that says “Pussy Power” on a backdrop of the trans flag colours. Or display the trans symbol somewhere visibly. Anything to complicate the general cissexist message that would otherwise be sent loud and clear.

Like, again, you asked:

“Do you have to speak for all women when protesting as a feminist?” 

That’s how protests work. A group of people gather under a unified banner and present a message (or a few messages). If one of those messages, due to volume alone, equates vaginas and co. to womanhood, then yes, that is the message that the group and all of the participants will be sending, regardless of individual intent or beliefs. 

Outside of the context of protests, it’s a lot easier to be clear and nuanced about your views, and when you’re speaking as an individual, and the ways your body has shaped your experiences of womanhood, etc.

In protests, you’re just a statistic, no one cares about any of that, and chances are, no one will see/hear any of that nuance. They’ll see the result of the whole. 

Like, take, for instance, back in the 00s, when ENDA was trying to be passed, and Barney Frank insisted that he had to drop trans people’s protections from the bill so that cis LGB folks could get protections. Communities country wide would talk about this, and many would end up taking a certain stance on it. And a lot took the stance that yes, Barney Frank was right, rights for some is better than rights for none.

That, of course, sent a message that trans people were expendable, and were an acceptable sacrifice. Maybe some individuals who supported dropping the T did understand us, and love us, and want to fight for us and thought this was the best way. Didn’t matter. In the end, we got silenced and thrown under the bus, and apologies or individual clarifications yelled down at us from inside of the bus, while we’re stuck under the wheel well? Not really going to fly.

It’s a common issue that we were very critical of across the years, because… despite promises and pleas for forgiveness, that “we’ll come back for you! Support us getting our protections, and we’ll have so much energy and more power to help get you yours!”, that literally never happened. Ever.

Like, Canada won Same Gender Marriage in 2005, and we’d heard all of those promises leading up to its legalization. That our cis allies would make a hard push for trans rights across the country right after, to use that momentum we helped fight for to get us our protections and freedoms.

That never came. Since mid 2005, the only rights and protections gained by trans folks were purely due to trans people fighting for our rights. LGBT-wide support for trans folks collapsed whenever our issues were raised, so we had to do it ourselves.

Same in the states. Same Gender marriage passes, and then suddenly the HRC and GLAAD and all the major LGBT+ orgs are incapable of effectively fighting for (and raising awareness of) trans rights issues unless cis LGBT rights are also at risk (in which case, a huge deal is made, and all the major orgs pull out all the stops, and there’s the usual backlash of “drop the T” in blaming us for their rights being attacked).

SO when we hear the same sort of angle from cis women regarding women’s rights and women’s protests, that it’s okay for us to be silenced and erased by the volumes of cis women focusing on “cis women things” (which are rarely cis women things, but things that many many people experience), we are usually rightfully wary. Especially given how pervasive and unchallenged cissexism is in society, and in most feminist and women’s spaces. 

Like, I’ve met a hell of a lot of cis women who don’t think trans women’s reproductive rights are attacked. I’ve met less, but still a significant amount, that believe trans women aren’t sexually assaulted due to our bodies or misogyny. I’ve met a significant amount that think trans men are justifiably more welcome than trans women because they feel that trans men are female and trans women are male, if not fully, then at least when it comes to bodies (which is still wrong). I’ve heard a lot of cis women assert that trans women don’t face a widespread issue of healthcare access like, say, the issue of obtaining accessible and affordable birth control (when, like, our access to puberty blockers and HRT and GAS/GCS is still intensely gatekept via sexist and misogynistic controls and policy, which in turn often keeps us from being able to be recognized as real and legitimate by our governments due to them requiring we go through these steps to be seen as valid/real, etc. etc.). Among a plethora of other cissexist misunderstandings.

I’ve met a tremendous amount of cis women who make this ideological separation between “is” and “identifies as”, that distances trans women from womanhood, as if we’re not full women in body and mind, as if cis women experience the whole range of womanhood, and trans women only experience what overlap we have with cis women, with all other experiences simply being “trans-related”. And that’s just false. Just like the notion that, deep down, trans men are really just women playing as men, or that NB folks are really what they were assigned at birth, etc.

A trans man’s genitals are male genitals. Doesn’t matter what they are. A trans woman’s genitals are female genitals. Doesn’t mater what they are. Non-binary folks’ genitals are their genitals, regardless. Most folks haven’t come around to that truth yet.

Like, by default, trans and NB and intersex folks get erased and invalidated and misgendered. That’s the default status quo, and even if you as an individual are aware that trans folks exist and whatnot, and understand us, that does not mean the majority of people do in any meaningful, accurate way. And so it’s important to challenge cissexism when provided the opportunity, to not let trans, NB, and intersex folks be acceptable sacrifices for cis women’s convenience during events.

But also that outside of major events, that you challenge cissexism, and educate people about cissexism, because people generally have no clue what it is, so they won’t be able to recognize it, and if they can’t recognize or understand it, they can’t fight it. And if they can’t fight it, things will always be shit for us.

tl;dr: If you’re part of a larger group, you’re not speaking for yourself, you’re just one cog, and together as a whole, you produce certain dialogues. Some of these might not fit with your individual views or experiences, but it is what it is.If you’re in a one-on-one, or in a group speaking as an individual, or online within the context of personal experience, etc. then yeah, that’s you.