#'Why does our leader look like a vampire?' 'Because they're a vampire?' 'But WHY do they look like a vampire...?' 'THEY'RE A VAMPIRE.'

[y-rhywbeth2]

I still don't know exactly how it would work but Shadowheart/Durge/Astarion still calls to me, and one of their dynamics is going to be Astarion fighting the urge to bash their heads together until sense gets through.

The other spawn are on a 'Cazador needs us,' 'He hurts us to make us better,' kind of cope. Astarion is Not, and if you play as Lae'zel and remain loyal to Vlaakith he calls it 'falling in love with your chains' (and it's 'painful to watch.')

And then there's Shadowheart desperately insisting Shar loves her and hurts her to make her stronger. We - potentially -seem have finally gotten over that! Just yesterday! And then Act 3 rolls around and now the Dark Urge is potentially on the 'Daddy loves me!' kick.

That or you have a Bhaalist and Sharran zealot knocking heads and a vampire spawn with a migraine whose secondary concern to gaining power and keeping himself safe is using that power to keep his lover/s safe and willing to stay with him ('this world made Cazador so is clearly inherently dangerous and evil', and he does think he has nothing to offer after all.) Which later potentially translates (or is admitted as) to 'I'd like to lock you in a room somewhere, but alas.' Shame they're so brainwashed. And that's assuming we haven't got Ascended Astarion and his blind belief that he's untouchable. Yeah, sell your soul to your evil deities. More power for us/me! This totally won't affect him negatively.

Both the potential for healing and the potential for dysfunction is so delightful.

[y2kbugs-moved]

I'm going to debunk some Miguel misconceptions from movie-only fans, ok. I'm going to try my best to not sound like a dick, which is hard because it's early morning here and I really do want to clear things up.

Spoilers, obviously.

This is going to be very long (because I love to over-explain things), and I do want people to read all of this. I even highlighted important points in bold.

(Fanon portrayal is a whole other can of worms and I could make a post about that too, but I'm just going to stick with the biggest issues right now.)

Miguel is the villain!

The confusion of villain vs antagonist is a common one.

I'm going to use this site for definitions, but basically:

"In literature and film, an antagonist is a character or force that actively works against the protagonist or main character. Think of them as a roadblock with a clear purpose and well-defined reasons for their choices and actions."

"A villain is an amoral or evil character with little to no regard for the general welfare of others. They are driven by ambition, greed, lust, or a desire for power or revenge"

Indeed, a story can have both! A villain could also be the (major) antagonist, but not all antagonists are villainous. The site I linked actually lists some great examples from movies and I recommend looking through them! They're very clear.

A story can also have multiple antagonists and villains but it does take a bit to really pull it off. I'll make this brief and just speak my interpretation: The movie has two antagonists, but only one villain.

The Spot is both a villain (has evil motives, no regard for the welfare of others, driven by revenge) and an antagonist (a force directly opposing our protagonist, Miles Morales). He is actively trying to destroy the multiverse, and targets Miles specifically out of disproportionate revenge including wanting to kill his father, Jeff. Yes, he's goofy and incompetent at the start and has a inferiority complex, but he's still villainous. All of his actions are motivated by revenge, destruction, and perhaps pride.

Miguel/Spider-Man 2099 is an antagonist (Opposing force/obstacle to the protagonist), but, while having a few traits, ultimately not a villain (has ultimately good reasons and is driven by what he believes is right, even if his actions betray these).

Miguel is driven by trauma and an unflinching sense of order, and indeed he brings these beliefs to their extreme, resulting in his violent behavior in the latter part of the movie. He's trying to stop the Spot just as much as Miles is. He does not want to destroy the multiverse, he wants to keep it in check even if his theories about canon are ultimately wrong. The only non-supervillain person we see him be really violent to is Miles. He is described, both by Gwen and Peter B, as "a good leader/listener" and "just looks scary", and going by PB's reaction to how violent Miguel becomes, this isn't a normal occurence for him. He doesn't usually act like this. That's what pushes him to be like a villain, even if his motivations are good.

This isn't any defense of Miguel's actions in the movie, but to explain that what we are seeing here is a person who is ultimately a hero/"good guy" changed by trauma and refusing to compromise, therefore resulting in behavior that feels villainous to outsiders.

The third movie is yet to be released, but I have belief that Miguel will get some form of redemption but remain mostly an anti-hero and foil to Miles, while The Spot will always be the central villain.

And check out this Twitter thread on what Miguel is really like as a person. Images here:

2. Miguel is a vampire!

I'm not sure why people are so adamant about this one. I guess it's because vampires are hot, and he has fangs, but this is the most easily debunked one of all of these. Especially when you keep in mind that the only person describing him as being like a vampire is a teenager who just met him. I don't mind if you want to make Miguel a vampire in an alternate universe of your choosing, but to act like he is one in the main canon (ironic) is ignorant.

While the movie takes liberties and changes a few things from a Spider-person's origins, the core is generally the same. I see no reason at all for the writers to completely change Miguel's origin to make him a vampire. Not only is this just lazy, but it is also in my opinion disrespectful to the original writers who came up with his origin story.

I implore people to read the 1992 Spider-Man 2099 comic, it is really very good (but does have a few racial stereotypes early on unfortuunately), but for a brief rundown, Marvel Future Fight has a good summary of his story:

(Text: Miguel O'Hara is an engineer who worked for Alchemax in the year 2099. He was a genius in the field of genetics, but was reluctant when pressured by his higher-ups to imprint foreign genetic codes onto human physiology. After a test resulting in the hideous transformation and then death of the test subject, O'Hara attempted to resign from his position. However, he had a drink laced with a drug that bonds to the victim's DNA. To counteract the drug, he used a procedure to save himself, splicing his DNA with that of a spider, granting him enhanced senses and abilities.)

It does leave out what exactly the spider DNA gave him (and the fact that the genetic experiment was sabotaged by his boss) but it's a good summary that does not mention anything about vampires.

He has fangs which he can use to envenomate a person to paralyze them temporarily, and sharp talons under his fingernails (not part of or on top of) that can rend through metal and he uses to climb the walls instead of having sticky fingers.

All of the above points to being half-Spider DNA, nothing like a vampire.

3. Miguel is the Prowler/an Inheritor/Morlun!

I'm shocked some movie fans recognize these characters given their general ignorance of the comics, but...no.

I'm seeing something about Miguel and Prowler's musical cues having a similarity, while I can't check for myself, this is just something that occurs in media and narratives, and I would not be surprised that the music artists might reuse motifs just as animators reuse models, simply for convenience and time reasons.

Also, their masks look nothing alike.

If you've read through the whole post as I hoped, congratulations! Please go read the comics, there's a good reading guide here and a video overview of Miguel's origins here. You can easily read the comics online by just googling "Spider-Man 2099 1992 comic online" as a start.

[notmuchtoconceal]

rationally, you know having a self is not only desirable, but normal.

rationally, you know being looked at is tied to merit.

if someone is looking at you, it's either because they want to, you've done something right, you've done something wrong, or you have power over them. there is no neutral viewing. detached people prone to intellectual activity may be attracted to voyeurism because it offers the one-sided illusion of neutral viewing. it is not only an invasion of someone's privacy, it's act of feeding. of vampirism. exhibitionism -- in contrast -- presumes a give and take. a person who is loud, bare-chested, showing-off -- there is an intensity, maybe even an offense to their force, and yet you always have the choice to look away. you are impacted, but you may withdraw. seldom does an exhibitionist strap you to a chair, a clockwork orange-style with eyeball clamps and force you to watch them show off. exhibitionism isn't only an invitation, it's a gift, albeit one which may be unwanted. a person averse to exhibitionism may not so much fear being revealed, as much as being distorted or punished.

furthermore, in contrast to voyeurism, when one is peeping, one is usually aware of it. if one catches themselves looking at someone when they know they shouldn't, they can stop at anytime. they have to choose to keep looking. this may not be as true for a supposed exhibitionist.

a person who is fit, who is beautiful, sure. if they don't like the attention, they can dress down. they can go into incognito. other times, they're simply in public and we understand a persistent unwanted advance is a violation of our mutual human rights. sometimes one could be speaking, and it might not even be the words one uses, or the tone one delivers them with -- it may be an attitude, or even the perception of an attitude, where this person seems to vaguely possess something you don't, something you've either been denied, or denied yourself.

when one attributes to you supremacy, they then feel they're entitled to undermine it, even if this is something you've never agreed to.

if a person admires you, but also hates you, that is the reason they want what you have. they're divorcing a quality from the context in which it arises, to take it and pass it off as their own.

appropriation, subjugation and theft you know are de rigeur colonial modes. these are unpeople. why is that they want to be looked at?

do they want recognition from the one who unpersoned them? are they so afraid of recognition -- or so afraid of being chastised for seeming to appear -- that they simply wish to condemn as many others as possible to silence? can you imagine the level of arrogance, laziness, despair -- to decide the entire rest of the world is your problem?

to look at the difficulties of how two people relate to another, or the primate structure of learning by seeing, seeing by doing -- and the ways its been not only boosted, but perverted in a mass media world -- and decide it's too broken to even try? that everything is signifier, and all signifiers are empty of anything but pretense, but we -- we ourselves are absent of spirit, of decision, filled with anguish, doomed to be repeatedly triggered by lives regulated into the thought-optional.

a person who's comfortable being seen may be an exhibitionist insecurely stringing you along by flexing, or he could just be a leader.

if you've never met a real leader, how would you know the difference?

do our leaders need to be perfect people?

if you've never met a perfect person, would you know the difference?

we know they can't, yet we know we can't trust. we know we can't trust cause we've just been lied to too much and this world was built by liars. nevertheless. even if everyone lies, not everything everyone says is a lie. what ratio does a person need to lie before we call them a liar.

the state of perfection, for the sake of philosophical shorthand, we shall associate with God -- and what is God? God is terror. God's name may not be spoken aloud, and God may not be seen directly. His brilliance is such that it is annihilating. It is the paradoxical source of this world.

God needs to veiled the way a bride does on her wedding day.

Is God a Liar? We know little white lies spare our feelings to save us arbitrary conflict, and we know folk stories and fairy tales help children learn enough to orient themselves in relation to the world and history. yet, we also understand -- at some point, to overplacate is to deceive, to infantilize past-due is to rob an individual of their powers of cognition.

Heroes and villains both wear masks.

Do only heroes and villains wear masks?

If someone can tolerate being looked at, does that imply they're aware of the danger, or that there is none? If they're aware of it, they must be aware they're inviting it and so can expect to deal with it.

Wearing a mask really is its own separate form of exhibitionism, as its the best of both worlds, incorporating voyeurism into itself.

When you're wearing a mask, you're aware you're being looked at, and you're aware the other person can see you, but they can't see "you".

(Alternatively, they may see "you", but they can't see you. If the shift in emphasis there means nothing, you can just ignore it bro.)

Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker in The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) dir. Marc Webb

[nuclearnerves]

INCOMING VAMPIRE AU THOUGHTS

Don't mind me I'm finally getting the ideas I had on this shit out so I can actually go forward with developing it as an AU. It's my usual mixup of fps protags, Gordon Guy and John, but I'm starting with Gordon as the Vampire and Guy as the Vampire Hunter.

absolute beast of a wall of text under the cut

What If Being A Vampire Literally Sucks All The Time Forever like chronic pain sucks. like THAT level of sucks. Like Here's what I was thinking of. Being a vampire isn't just "being alive forever but you need to drink human blood" It's like Oh man I have some lore you look at vampires and their main thing is that they're blood suckers right so lets start with a corpse dead body. cadaver. no longer with us. just some rotting meat. The brain needs oxygen as fuel. The blood supplies the oxygen through blood. The blood is pumped through the heart. The blood is made by your bone marrow. You die. Your heart stops beating Blood stops pumping Brain no longer has oxygen to think marrow stops making blood thats standard! Now, becoming undead, as a vampire, is a little more complicated. The long and short of it is: your body is FIGHTING ACTIVELY to be alive against all odds and wins every time (immortality), but it hurts the whole way

I have the gist of it. It's like. Your heart stops. By all means, you should be dead. but the magic kicks in, and you're still thinking. Your brain is still sending signals to your muscles to move. But using what oxygen to move? whats burning in you? You don't know but you know it's just enough to get to your next meal. So you ferociously eat something, and then find you can't swallow. You can't make saliva. You barely have the energy to chew, and once you DO get something in your stomach, it immediately comes back up. Why can't you feel your pulse? What's going on? You're out of options so you figure you might as well just lie down and die. You're too tired to keep going anyway. So you do, you lie down, and you close your eyes, and you quietly hope that death is as peaceful as sleep. You realize you've actually been moving around without breathing, which makes sense because you can barely flex your diaphragm for more than a shaky wheeze. How are you thinking with such little oxygen? But as you fade from consciousness, you can feel something in you, and it's so upset, it's crying, it's filled with grief, and you instantly can tell it's your skeleton. It's your bones. You're distraught down to your marrow. You're dying. You're dying! Your heart stopped and you have no more blood! You need blood! You need blood to move! To breathe! To think! You try to breath deep again for the voices in your bones, trying to comfort them, to sooth them with the repetitive motion in your lungs, trying to fill yourself with anything but grief, but they keep wailing. We make the blood, our creation, our child, what we put all of our work into is gone! gone! gone! We need it back! Anything! All of it! Find it! Bring it back to us! We're hungry! WE'RE HUNGRY!

and once you find yourself too exhausted to listen, to think, how badly you wish just to die already to cease hearing this wailing, you find your body moving without you. And it's hungry and it's searching and it's crawling on all fours and it misses its beautiful red life that made it feel so full before and it needs it back, and the next thing you know you're desperately grabbing anything with blood in it and shoving it in your mouth in a desperate attempt to sooth this cry for life, you don't want to die, you don't want to die, you worked so hard to keep up this body and craft it and LIVE with it and you're not going to go, and even when you try, even when you try to lay down and die, your body refuses, it takes the reigns, and it keeps up the work itself with or without your help. And it's not until your stomach is full and your teeth are stained and you feel a pulsating burning in your bones that you snap back awake, completely conscious, just fine. You're lucid, you don't feel any more pain. Everything around you is dead and drained and messy and your heart still isn't beating. but you can breathe now and holy shit you guess you literally need to kill to survive and the less you eat and the more you starve yourself the worse it gets when your body finally decides to take recourse.

my idea was like. "the vampires curse is actually stored in the bones, thats why the teeth get so sharp and also theres a connection between blood and bones with the creation via bone marrow" its literally like i was sitting there thinking "no no no, whats it like to be a vampire. what neurosis would you develop. How would you panic? What are common mistakes beginner vampires make" which, by the way, gordon is a beginner vampire

so now you gotta factor, what blood lasts for how long? how long can you go between meals? not only that, but what creatures satisfy the urge? How long can you go avoiding human blood? Does it work like drugs where you develop a resistance to the high, or is it like food where it will keep you moving until you eat again? How the fuck are you gonna get your hands on blood? Can you just eat raw meat? Does that count? and thats where im at lol

OKAY now. now thoughts on beginning scenes of vampire au

So my idea was this Doomguy is a vampire hunter independent and one of his buds says that some freak scared and almost attacked his daughter when she got too close to his old abandoned laboratory up the hill and hes like “he might be… you know… a problem. if you needed a lead” and guys like yeah i fuckin hate the undead ill kill this dude so he busts into old lab space and sees so many dead animals its actually mostly Bones and pelt that hes seeing piles of feathers etc so hes like yeah this is all telltale signs of vampire uhhh hes introduced to gordon SOMEHOW im not totally sure of the details but the working idea i have is guy falls into a trap gordon devised that restrains him suspended in wire or something and gordon like. limps/stumbles into the room and this dude looks haggard he’s breathing heavy, his cheeks are hollow, he’s bug-eyed and shaking while looking at this massive wall of meat in his trap and he bares a bunch of hideous teeth and grits them and looks like hes really struggling with somethin... Like if these dudes don't know each other then Gordon might give in and try to drain Guy, and Guy would absolutely do anything in his power to turn this new vampire into ash, im thinking the inclusion if g-man as a coven leader can fix both issues.

i like the idea of guy falling into gordons trap and gordon thinking about what to do with him before gman shows up and whisks gordon away for a “meeting” while complimenting him on his good work catching the most feared vampire hunter in the country and gman just leaving guy suspended in wires that he has to fight his way out of. Instant situation defuser.

Guy ends up needing to take care of other monsters before going back to Gordon, and he DOES plan to go back to gordon, because no vampire is a good one, especially not one associated with the fucking head of a coven, but next time he sees Gordon, Gordon helps him out of a scrape by attacking and draining a combine who was going to take Guy out or something and escaping before Guy can catch him, or otherwise seeing Gordon do something good with his insane undead powers and like, the third time he meets up with him is when they can actually talk, and Gordons fuckin SO haggard, he’s not even fighting back and he’s even going as far as to say “just make sure theres nothing of me left when you’re done, I don’t want anyone else getting hurt”

Side Note: Guy has a bunch of scarring on his body from dealing with vampires, cops, ghosts, werewolves, anything violent that kills people. I'm playing with the inkling of an idea that he has Divine Blood in him, so that any time something undead bites him or tries to drink his blood, it burns. We'll see.

Side Note 2: now i really like the idea of the combine actually being an organized faction of vampire hunters that are WICKED crooked and exploit people for all their worth in exchange for their “safety” when they kill a vampire They’re essentially loansharks and Guy fucking hates them and hates the name theyve given to vampire hunting

Side Note 3: You've probably noticed that I haven't said anything about John yet! He's in this too. His species is a surprise but I need to get to him later I have an idea for where he came from (Cortana too)

I still need a good reason for Guy to not instantly kill this vampire, if not it's just gonna be "Gordon Freeman escapes the countrys best vampire hunter like a seventh time" every time they meet and they end up being rivals. And it gives Guy enough time to look past the whole "undead monster" thing and start looking at the "Oh this dude figured out how to fight his ridiculous craving for blood in a way more humane than most and is actually staying out of peoples way and keeping to himself. Guess he's not that big of a threat but I still need to keep an eye on him in case he loses it. Turns out he's got a family (Probably Alyx, Eli, Issac and Barney) who's been lookin for him and cares about him as well, don't wanna hurt them". I like the idea of them ending up needing to team up to take out undead together.

And that's what I got so far!!!

[goodkwuestion]

Hi! I love seeing you back and I also LOVE this chapter. (I know they will end up together, but it hurts so good!)

Also I have so much questions! Have werewolfs some sort of big leader? Like the Alpha of all the other local alphas in America? What is the pack structure? And hierarchii? Have witches a ruling coven? Or some allmighty family? Are there witch/wizard schools? And Fae? With Queen and/or King? Demons? Other relms? Are there things like trolls and giants? Can Mickey ride a dragon? (Please don't. This is serious question.😆)

Also does everyone have beef with vampires? Or is it that people in vamp hunting organization were hurt by vampires and therefore go after them? Will we get their back story if so? Is Mickey and others just one division of this organization? Are there others specializing on different creatures?

Have you seen the post about vampires craving paterns on their special human? May I tempt you with it?

I'm so glad you decided to venture in this genre. I love everything you have writen but this just checks all the boxes.

Also is it just me, or did you really raise the stakes for Ian and Mickey? Somehow it all feels more tense compared to your other fics. But be it or not I'm loving it!

You ask such excellent questions, oh my god.

So yeah, the werewolves are super organized and you'll find out more about them thanks to our good boy, Derek. So look out for that.

This universe is like Stefan from SNL describing a club, in that it has everything. Everything won't make it into the narrative, but to me, if one kind of supernatural thing exists, they why can't they all exist, you know?

Wizarding schools...maybe? That never actually occurred to me. Although why not? Chaos magic definitely exists, but I was imagining education being passed down more intimately, like through family or apprenticeships. Flying, above ground dragons, no, though probably existed in the past. Sea behemoths? Yes. Fae? Yes. Demons? Yes, how do you think the vampire curse started? Other realms? Yes, they're were you'll find all the other Ians and Mickeys of my multiverse.

Trolls and giants would have gone the way of the dragons. I feel that these huge overtly mythical beasts would get hunted and wiped out because of...stuff I'll allude to later in the story. If they're underwater tho, it's all good. No one knows for sure what's down there.

I can't even touch the questions in this paragraph, because you'll see.

I have never seen this before. This is fascinating! (goes to read up)

[wolfsong-the-bloody-beast]

. There's a difference between having villains who are "relatable" and having villains who are *more sympathetic than the heroes*. Sometimes we go from "This guy is relatable, don't be like him because of everything else he does" to "never mind he's a villain, he's so *sympathetic*! How dare that so called hero stop him!"

I have been fortunate to avoid most unsavoury takes. Usually they get to me when somebody smarter and more eloquent than me adds a reasonable counterpoint. I think I follow the right people. However, I know strange things sometimes happen within fandoms. This is the site where "it's sad that Kylo Ren had to watch his dad die :(" sort of opinion appears occasionally, and while some things make me giggle, I'm also happy to only see it so often.

This is all a little vague, though, so I'm first going to say that I'm honestly not here to judge how somebody engages with a piece of fiction. I'll repeat that: I'm not here to judge how somebody engages with a piece fiction, what kind of fiction they consume, what characters they like or dislike, why, whether their fave is "problematic", what headcanons or art they produce, etc. And if it happens, I keep it to myself. It's none of my business. (Unless it harms somebody else, of course.) But I know some odd and/or aggressive discourse can happen on this hellsite for sure, which usually gets to me in the form of those legendary posts we all collectively shake our heads about in disbelief.

But, yeah, if we're going to talk about villainous characters with some tragic background or whatever, as it often happens in stories, and some people are going to be like, "Mr. Mass Murder Sad Backstory actually did nothing wrong, uwu," then I'm definitely gonna look at that a little sideways. I'm not sure whether it happens because people have difficulty accepting that they, they the good people, like an evil character, or because they like the character so much they feel the need to explain the evil away, so that it doesn't negatively reflect upon them, or they somehow internally feel the character should be better because they like them, so surely there's a reason for their evil behaviour. I don't know.

Hell, there's nothing wrong with liking a completely fucked-up character for what they are. Because they're interesting. Because they have style. Because their villainy is fun to watch. Or because they're sexy. Whatever the reason might be. Like that big ass and titty, milfy vampire from Resident Evil who everyone fell in love with recently. Like, who cares she wants to slice you into a shish kebab? She's not real. They're not real. They're a piece of entertainment. They're supposed to be entertaining.

And, yeah, some professional writers certainly do that, too. Or something of the sort. They're so infatuated with their own villain that they can't see them for what they are, maybe they even unfortunately share some of their dumb views ("Hurr-durr, overpopulation is killing the planet, so everybody should just die."), but they begrudgingly let the heroes stop them, if they must.

There's also something to be said for when a writer of a villainous character is obviously a piece of.... work themselves, or even better a shitty corporation (through its poor employees), very possibly with shitty production leaders, that doesn't even know what they're talking about, and that then oozes out of their writing. The audience then rightfully doesn't vibe with that, and they will start poking holes in the "good guys" and in how the "bad guys" are portrayed and why.

I will end this here because I don't even know what I'm talking about at this point. I'm not even sure I understood the ask correctly. I'm certainly no authority on this matter, so I'm basically just thinking loudly here.

[punkscowardschampions]

Saint & Leilani

Saint: How's it going? 🙂 Leilani: it's going as expected Saint: I know how to answer questions without saying anything, remember Saint: you can't fool me Leilani: I was relying on the 😇 thing to do being you pretending you believed me Saint: You'd think so, but the issue lies in if that would require me to leave you in discomfort Saint: which would be nothing but the worst manners Saint: okay, what's one thing that's been okay and what's one thing that I could help make a bit better? Leilani: the kids are extremely adorable in their costumes, I'm in support of that Leilani: & how many of the grown ups decided to go in on this too Leilani: but maybe I was hoping you were that kind of big brother & your other sisters & brothers weren't as young as they are Saint: The majority love an event, that's true Saint: I don't know if it's a genetic thing or a cultural, but it's always been like this Saint: I'm sure the twins would have you know they're very mature for their age Saint: 🤔 how about I introduce you to Mattie? Saint: She's about your age Leilani: 😅 yeah I'm considering taking one of them with me since you already made the offer Leilani: she's Jay's sister, right? Saint: Correct Saint: she's similarly more chilled out too Saint: maybe less adorable than the kids but she shouldn't object to hanging out, kidnap might be a step too far tonight but Leilani: I don't know, it's a good costume, some people would still say adorable Saint: 😅 Saint: a good opener Leilani: thanks, I'll use it Saint: 👍 have fun Saint: let me know what you think, and if I need to get my wings into gear and do more Leilani: [pretend she's been chatting to her for ages because I feel like they'd get on, soz she don't go to your school hun] Leilani: I am now so I guess your wings won't be falling off Saint: [always the way, at least you will have an ally at these functions] Saint: 😁😁😁 Leilani: take a 🍭 Saint: 😏 More counterintuitive than the sticker ⭐ Saint: definitely finding you a new dream before you wreck the 🦷 of every kid in Dublin just to fix them again Saint: very 😈 of you Leilani: 😅😅 Leilani: maybe I'll become a vet if Grace agrees to the 🐱 Saint: What about the 🩸? Saint: though you seem to cope with the fake Leilani: oh yeah.... Leilani: I was only thinking about the 😁 parts again Saint: I do hate to be the 🌧 on your parade... Saint: it's pretty adorable how 🌤 you are Leilani: but you do need to step in there before I fully commit & get genuinely 🩸 splattered Saint: I can promise that without feeling I'm giving you unfair expectations Leilani: it'd be awkward if you had to take that costume off on account of being 😈 Saint: it really would Saint: the feathers aren't leaving much to the imagination as is 😬 Saint: no one wants that Leilani: you're not 👶🏽 enough to be running around without clothes Saint: Ahh Saint: so tough being the oldest Saint: suppose I should leave some 🍭 🍬 🍫 for the kids too? Leilani: I can't promise to fix your 🦷 either way Saint: I'll make sure to brush well tonight when I'm defeathering in the privacy of my own room Saint: I like your ears, by the way Leilani: I'll resist the urge to come & watch over you since you're the one who can fly & I'll never be a qualified dentist Leilani: thanks, I keep forgetting they're there so for a moment that was an unusual compliment Saint: I'll send you a picture if you like Saint: for evidence Saint: I'm sure your real ears are lovely too 😂 Leilani: what am I supposed to send you a picture back of, in line with you wanting to work for the government? Leilani: like, I could salute but that's getting into a weird girl guide territory Leilani: & I've never been camping Saint: Oh dear Saint: the less pictures I have of underage girls the better, I think Saint: too young for the scandal yet but best to start as I mean to go on Saint: my family aren't big campers, if you can believe it Saint: but I've been with my grandma, and for this young leaders thing I did last year Leilani: I probably shouldn't fill my phone with pictures of older boy's dazzling teeth either, my mum is very overprotective Leilani: was, I mean Leilani: maybe she'd come back & haunt me Saint: Potentially Saint: though I can try to assure her and you my teeth are not at all predatory, this might not come across as sincere with my pearly whites 😁😬 Leilani: if your teeth are harmless, you might need a dentist sooner than I could become one Saint: 🧛 gotcha Saint: okay, so not harmless, but your neck is safe Leilani: why do they bite their victims somewhere literally everyone can see? Leilani: I'd be more secretive if my goal was to live undetected forever in some moody castle Saint: You can cross vampire off your list too, you're clearly overqualified Saint: I think it's about that sweet, sweet jugular vein but there's plenty of others that are less of a Saint: 'look what I did' Leilani: maybe whoever wrote the 1st 🧛📕 didn't want to commit to going under the clothes Leilani: it was racy stuff already Saint: also potential code for same-sex relationships? Saint: but what wasn't 😅 Leilani: is Dracula gay? Leilani: good for him Saint: I think so? Saint: Unless I'm confusing my classics Leilani: I haven't read it before & I feel like if I do now everyone will think I'm going goth Saint: Not an impression you want to make? Leilani: not really Leilani: 🌤  > 🌧 Saint: we'll keep it secret or off the reading list Leilani: first rule of our new book club? okay Saint: You can think of the 2nd Leilani: there has to be some kind of limit on length, War & Peace is too heavy in every way Saint: which brings us nicely to rule number three then Saint: no Russian literature Leilani: 😅 Saint: but I'll leave it with the rules for now, this is a party after-all Saint: would you like a drink? Leilani: what can you offer me that's 🧃? Saint: [so the pub, 'cos always the pub, probably doesn't have sassy mocktails 'cos not the vibe but he can go make her one] Saint: any major allergies or dislikes I need to know? Leilani: no Leilani: you've got total freedom Saint: I like the sound of that Leilani: what are you drinking? Saint: [probably red wine, you seem the type, not getting crunk] Saint: 🍷 Saint: 🧛 of me Leilani: if you're coming out to me atm you have my unconditional love & support Saint: 😅 Saint: Thank you Saint: unnecessary but appreciated Leilani: oh then you want to do the most with the teeth cleaning for the pics you're sending later Leilani: I'm not 😤 Saint: As much as the before and after would be impressive Saint: you might feel a bit 🤢 Leilani: I've set myself up as way too squeamish here, I don't like the sound of that Leilani: I'm not like 🥀 Saint: it's your story to tell Saint: though I wouldn't accuse you of being a wilting wallflower type, for the record Leilani: please don't accuse me of anything on the record 😅 I'm not a Lolita type either Leilani: I haven't even had a boyfriend yet Saint: I think painting myself as that unreliable of a narrator would really undermine my public persona and the trust I aim to inspire Saint: is that purely because of having a protective mum or did your own thoughts and feelings come into that too? Saint: plus, technically, Nabokov was Russian, I don't know if we can read it? 🤔 Leilani: the behaviour of many boys my age came into it too Leilani: but maybe they'll be different at this school, your sister did say we're uncultured at my old one Saint: I can see that Saint: When did she say that? Leilani: 💬📱 Saint: 😕 Oh Saint: she can be quite Saint: blunt Leilani: it's okay, I know Saint: She doesn't always think before she speaks, which is definitely a bad habit Saint: but I'm sure she didn't mean that to sound so...that Leilani: I'm sure she put more than enough thought into everything she said Saint: I'm sorry Saint: I would talk to her, see why you got off on the wrong foot but I'm not so out of touch to not realize that would potentially do more harm than good Saint: I think she's insecure, for context, she didn't get into the school she wanted to go to Leilani: I know why, but I'm not sure I would've been able to approach it differently, even if I should've Saint: Is it strictly girl's business? Leilani: what does that even mean, St? 🤔 Saint: Well Saint: code for none of my business perhaps Saint: in this instance, at least Leilani: it's not becos you're a boy, it's becos you're her brother Saint: Okay Saint: if it helps, I know how she can be, and it's not because of you, it's a her thing Leilani: it doesn't help but that's more becos you tried to tell me how she could be & I rose to it anyway Saint: I could've been clearer Saint: I didn't want to seem like I was insinuating you couldn't talk to her, or something like that Saint: and I don't want to talk badly about anyone, even if it is at times warranted, she's not, you know Saint: 👿 Leilani: I found out for myself, that's the fairest way Leilani: & I'm sure I overreacted once I was 😤 Saint: I know it would make this easier, if you were to get on Saint: but just know you're under no obligation to Saint: with any of us Saint: if nothing else, I can assure she'll give you a wide berth if she has nothing pleasant to say Leilani: maybe we will in the 2nd attempt Leilani: my moods are all over Saint: Now that is girl stuff, correct? 😏 Saint: it's very possible Leilani: that's getting into weird 🧛 territory Leilani: I meant becos I'm 💣💥 by grief not being a girl Saint: Joke in poor taste at the expense of your hormones Saint: 🤐 Leilani: becos I'm a girl is never an excuse for anything, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie I have read some of Saint: My sincerest apologies Saint: you'll have to educate me Leilani: thank god for book club Leilani: you're fine though, losing my mum isn't an excuse either according to your sister Saint: She really said that? Leilani: yeah but she's just the 1st, I don't think she'll be the only Saint: But that's just Saint: bullshit Leilani: she doesn't think so, she built an entire argument around it Saint: even if you were using it as an excuse, which I see no evidence of Saint: it's a pretty valid one Saint: and it's just so Saint: callous to even suggest that, never mind assert it Leilani: it's about her, I dared to say she shouldn't make fun of Grace & by extension treat all of you badly Saint: That is a sensitive topic for her Saint: but still Saint: THAT is no excuse to behave like that Leilani: she's been looking at me like she's got every reason to be 😤 Leilani: 🙏 we're not face to face 🗨 Saint: I'll distract her Leilani: 😇 Saint: [do so boy, soz to you lol, sure she's being a delight] Leilani: [do the salute you're not gonna send him a picture of lol] Saint: [casually meet eyes over this party moment] Leilani: [what a #mood] Saint: [honestly Venus can leave early anyway we all know why you're here and you probably have somewhere else to be hoeing it up] Leilani: [yeah exactly, as much as I hate that you're like this, we know it's real] Leilani: thanks Saint: no problem Saint: I learnt not to bite a long time ago 🎣 Saint: not that that's on you, but you know what I mean, diplomacy is my friend Leilani: does she know she's helping you in your career goals? Saint: I have to assume not Saint: unless she thinks I need a running mate 😨😅 Leilani: in that costume, it'd be a stretch to 💭 that Saint: Don't even get me started on that Leilani: if you don't want to drop your workout secrets that's your choice Saint: Oh no, I was talking about hers, sorry Saint: she's really gone with the Elle Woods thing...which is just a bit strange Saint: dad's a lawyer so Saint: yeah Leilani: oh... Leilani: an extra dimension has been added Leilani: I thought she was going with Regina George Saint: easy mistake to make Saint: sure she'd say as much if I said anything Leilani: she'd say worse about both of ours probably Saint: she got her 🎁 she should be in a good mood now Leilani: why is she getting 🎁 on your dad's birthday? Saint: Right, you're an only child Saint: when you're little, and you went to birthday parties, did you ever get mad that you weren't getting any gifts or attention? Saint: it's that Leilani: I can't relate Saint: What did you and your mum do for your birthdays as a kid? Leilani: she liked to throw me a party, on theme for whatever I was super into that year Leilani: smaller scale than this but all my friends would be there Saint: Sounds like a good time Leilani: it was Leilani: what did you do? Saint: My birthday is Christmas day Saint: 💔 Leilani: I'm sorry Saint: 😅 It's not really that bad Saint: it would be if you minded Saint: but I still get presents and to see all the family so Leilani: I still feel like I should buy you a 🎁 in the summer Saint: that's when I'd have parties with friends as a kid Leilani: you don't have those parties any more? Saint: Not really my scene now Saint: I'm alright with Vee claiming that kind of attention Saint: I usually get dinner with friends as close to my birthday as we can without all the office parties being out in full force Leilani: 🍷 Leilani: very you Saint: Is that my branding? Leilani: would you like a rebrand? Saint: I'm not 😤 Saint: just curious about your 💭 Leilani: it's very blood of christ 😇🙏 Leilani: so fitting Saint: That wine is very bad though Saint: 😝 Leilani: maybe they don't want to promote 🧛 Leilani: if you drank my blood it probably wouldn't taste nice Saint: Why not? Saint: Not admitting a desire to do so with that Leilani: I don't know becos it's 🩸? Saint: 😂 Saint: Fair point Saint: just wanted to see how you'd put me off yours specifically Leilani: we'd circle back to me being underage Saint: do you think vampires ask for identification first? Leilani: no, but in this case you know how old I am Saint: I'm not going to suck your blood Saint: you have my word Saint: and I invited your here, sort of Saint: you'd have to invite me in Leilani: ignoring that being what someone who was about to drain me would say, you must've been to Grace's house before Saint: Probably? Saint: not as if I'd have much call to be there though Leilani: I'm honoured that you're looking for an invite now Saint: I never said that Leilani: 🤔 Saint: I said you would have to invite me over if I were to go all 🧛 Saint: so you're perfectly safe here and now Leilani: [giving him a look like okay boy] Saint: [little lol like okay fair enough] Leilani: [a smile back, excuse us everyone] Saint: [i'm like who a nosy hoe here 'cos I'd be 👀] Leilani: [well Astrid would just say it and we know she's there LOL] Saint: [truuu but she is an innocent soul so she probably just thinks he's being more friendly than his face usually suggests lol] Leilani: [I like to think the twins know what's up, they're sassy] Saint: [be those cheeky children who embarrass you] Leilani: [definitely & Matilda is probably 👀 on this vibe] Saint: [is cute] Leilani: [love that you're being less serious rn sir] Saint: [it's out of character enough to be a Thing™ like he's not a dick but he doesn't have to go this hard for anyone in the fam like protection, caring mode obvs so it'd be like oh hey] Leilani: [enjoy that fam, I know some of you adults are nosy hoes] Saint: [lol the goss, god bless] Leilani: what did you put in this drink? Saint: What? Saint: Nothing? Leilani: no, I mean like ingredients Leilani: it's nice Saint: Oh Saint: [whatever sassy concoction we've made 'cos you'd have that knowledge even if you don't party that hard 'cos Ruster kid] Leilani: 😄 Saint: you like it? Leilani: it's delicious Saint: 😁👍 Saint: Do I get a sticker now? Leilani: yeah Leilani: & more 🍭🍬🍫 Saint: the kids are gonna hate me Saint: better share or get mobbed Leilani: I could just invite you over to eat what the trick or treaters didn't before we got here, you know Leilani: keep you 😇 Saint: You really want to secure my spot in heaven Saint: My acceptance would hugely depend on what 🍭🍬🍫 was on offer Leilani: [the list of everything Grace bought and we know she's extra so] Leilani: so you see, I'm thinking of my own 😁 Saint: Did she expect the whole of town to show up or? Saint: I better intervene before you look like a 👶/👵 depending on how you think about it Leilani: 😅😅 Leilani: I think she's expecting me to eat my feelings Saint: Nice to have the option Saint: perhaps not at the detriment to your 🦷 or 🩸 sugar though Leilani: we'll pretend midnight snacks don't count Saint: No calories after midnight, everyone knows that Leilani: the later it gets, the less there are? Leilani: becos we'll definitely still be here later than that Saint: Might even get to breakfast Saint: what would you have then if calories didn't exist? Leilani: for breakfast? Saint: Yes Leilani: 🥞🍨🍓🍫🍒 Saint: Well that just sounds 😇😇🤤 Saint: Perhaps we can go make that happen when we finally leave Saint: or will Grace object, take on that protective role fully Leilani: taking advantage of her fear of overstepping isn't very 😇 but it is honest Leilani: & this isn't a date date Saint: Not my intention, though if you think that would be a direct impact then perhaps we shouldn't Leilani: it's okay, it's just breakfast Leilani: the calories don't even count so it can't hurt Saint: It is Saint: I wouldn't want anyone to think differently Leilani: start as you mean to go on, I recall it Saint: I mean Saint: that wouldn't be right, would it Leilani: if people think something else is happening to what is, it's easy enough to set them straight Saint: Why would they even think that Leilani: retro 💭 Leilani: you can't spend time with anyone of the opposite sex unless they're interested in the same or you're interested in them Saint: It's just ridiculous Leilani: yeah, but you are 😇 & the fittest so I can't blame people for thinking I would be Saint: I assume people would think that's the last thing on your mind Saint: but maybe I'm giving too much credit Saint: most conversations seem to end up back to when am I going to get another girlfriend Leilani: that joke you made about my girly hormones works for my age too Leilani: especially becos I haven't had a boyfriend Saint: 🙄 Saint: It isn't the be-all-end-all Saint: trust me Leilani: not a classics 📚 way of thinking Leilani: if this was Russian Lit you'd die for her Saint: that's why their particular brand of melodrama is banned Saint: and 'she' doesn't currently exist, as I said, unless you'd like me to pledge my undying, unwavering love to the idea of women in general Saint: I can knock up a speech now Leilani: sounds like fun Leilani: go ahead Saint: 😅 Leilani: not the answer you wanted? Leilani: if you offer me a speech, I'm gonna say yes Saint: I need some time to write it Saint: I also need to find a pen Leilani: [hands him a pen in a sassy manner because she would have a handbag with this outfit] Saint: [the ultimate cliche of lingering when you take something lol] Leilani: [when you can't keep the sass up cos you gotta smile at him again like...I love to think about everyone watching this] Saint: [obviously we're smiling back and being all bashful like gotta go find some paper] Leilani: [looking in that handbag for something he could write on but there's nothing because she's not that hoe carrying everything but the kitchen sink so a cute 🤷🏾 like soz] Saint: [go find a napkin to write this speech about love and womens on then find her and give it to her and hope no one else reads it 'cos that is pure flirtation if I ever saw it] Leilani: [we're keeping that napkin hens & soz Matty even though we BFFs you're not reading it luv] Leilani: okay, I'd vote for you 🗳 Saint: [not explaining that inside joke hun we have no time sorry] Saint: That's all I really wanted from you, naturally Saint: 😈 Leilani: I'm naturally powerless to do anything but swoon, we've gone full classics now Leilani: you got what you really wanted there Saint: Having you powerless to my every whim and will sounds like another genre than classic to me Saint: unless you'd like to state your case for 50 Shades Leilani: 😅 I need to read it 1st Leilani: so thanks if you're choosing it for book club Saint: Top of my reading list, I just needed the excuse 😏 Leilani: isn't there like a whole series? Leilani: you'd know Saint: I officially decline to add that to my brand, thank you Leilani: I get why, you're angry she wrote out the vampires, obviously Saint: Precisely Saint: What kind of discrimination... Leilani: [a lil irl lol like peeps aren't getting enough of a show with this] Saint: [😍] Leilani: [I hope you're re-reading that napkin or talking to your bff right then cos if you see them 😍 you'll die] Saint: Who's costume do you think would win? Leilani: your dad's Leilani: the birthday boy has to win Saint: just because it's his birthday or Leilani: yeah, Grace's is the best Leilani: I chose it for her Saint: 😅 If you do say so yourself then Leilani: if you're arguing it's becos you want me to hype up yours more Leilani: she looks amazing Saint: I'm simply saying on your 2nd go you and Vee should get on like a house on fire Leilani: 😧 Saint: It's not a bad thing Leilani: 🤔 Leilani: okay, who do you think should win? Saint: You have things in common, is the point Saint: I don't know, the kids are probably the most imaginative Leilani: what things? Saint: 💅💄👗 and thinking you're very good at them Leilani: I think I did a good job at picking her specific outfit tonight Leilani: you don't have to say it like it's a bad thing Saint: I didn't Saint: I specifically said it wasn't Leilani: sure Saint: I'm sorry if that's how you took it Leilani: I'm sorry if that's what I look like to you Saint: What, interested in how they present themselves? Saint: I don't see why you'd apologize for that Leilani: up themselves Saint: I didn't say that Leilani: I don't know how else you expect me to take thinking I'm very good at something Leilani: you didn't even say I was very good at it Saint: Does it matter what I think? Leilani: not if it's that I have an ego the size of your sister's Saint: I meant it as a good thing Saint: I don't know what else to tell you Leilani: I don't know what else to tell you other than that's not how I took it Saint: And I said sorry so that's that Leilani: yeah Saint: Don't think about it, it really didn't mean anything Leilani: I won't cause a big scene about it either way Saint: Just enjoy your evening, okay Leilani: I am Saint: Good 🙂 Saint: that's all anyone wants Leilani: I didn't mean to get all 💣💥 it just upset me, what she said Leilani: so you saying we're alike isn't something I want to hear atm Saint: I understand Saint: that's fine, it was the wrong thing to say Leilani: it isn't fine, she's the one who got to me, not you Leilani: I'm sorry Saint: I was insensitive Saint: I just don't like conflict Saint: but it can't always be straightened out so easily Leilani: I will have a 2nd go when I see her at school Leilani: maybe it'll get straightened out Saint: How are you feeling, about school? Leilani: stressed Saint: I bet Saint: it'd be weird if you weren't Saint: but you seem to be good at making friends so you'll be okay Leilani: but that was before, now I'm not gonna know if they feel sorry for me Leilani: or think they have to be nice to me Saint: Do people have to know? Saint: You need a story why you've moved school, but it doesn't strictly have to be the full truth, or the truth at all Leilani: Venus knows, I'm not having her catch me in a lie Leilani: anyway, it's what happened Leilani: I can't escape it by lying Saint: Fair enough Saint: it is the best policy, after-all Leilani: it wouldn't be fair to my mum to change the story, she can't Saint: That makes sense Saint: disrespectful Saint: well, I think, however unfortunately, that people's sympathy only extends so far Saint: you might lose some, but you will find out who your real friends are with time Leilani: there's that word again Leilani: time Saint: I think it's pretty unavoidable Saint: it sounds worse than usual Saint: but people you think are your friends can turn around and not me Saint: for any reasons, it isn't that this is happening, or going to happen just because of your mum Saint: you know? Saint: It doesn't sound comforting, it isn't Leilani: it is a little bit Saint: People are flaky Saint: you just notice when you could use some of them to not be Leilani: who hurt you? other than the girls you're unwilling to die for, I mean Saint: What? Saint: No, no one Leilani: your friends haven't? Saint: I'm fine 🙂 Leilani: I don't believe in 🙂 Leilani: give me a real one 😁 Saint: [IRL 🙂] Leilani: [IRL 😁] Saint: [looking awayayayay] Leilani: [getting him another 🍷 because you are soz you kicked off] Saint: [just like 'who served you?' 😏 bants 'cos he's not even old enough yet either] Leilani: [we just loling because this is a fam function and everyone knows it's for him but asking if she can try it, to which I say don't do it gal wine is gross] Saint: [offering it but warning her it's an acquired taste 'cos truly] Leilani: [taking a sip and her face would be ICONIC because ew, just don't spit it back into his glass babe] Saint: [loling and asking if she wants another mocktail instead] Leilani: [a hard yes because need that taste out of our mouth] Saint: [go get that boy] Leilani: you should've written a speech about why you like drinking 🍷 Saint: A toast would be more fitting Leilani: shorter & easier too Saint: and more warmly received Saint: especially by this crowd Leilani: 😅 Leilani: [gives him the pen back like there you go then] Saint: [swap that for her drink and get to 🤔] Leilani: [take a sip so he can see your happy face when you taste it compared to a second ago] Saint: How am I meant to argue with that? Leilani: I'm not doing your work for you, St Saint: 🥺😏 Leilani: maybe you could compare it to a girl, that was a very good speech Leilani: [re-reads it] Saint: Acidic...bitter...goes straight to your head and stays there 'til the next day Leilani: disgusting, leaves a horrible taste in your mouth Leilani: makes you say things you maybe don't mean Saint: might get half the room to raise their glasses Saint: if they're feeling brave Leilani: if they're feeling 💔 Saint: Yes, that too Leilani: there must be some reasons why you drink it, other than frustrated vampirism Saint: the 💔 obviously Leilani: you said you were 🙂 fine Saint: Philosophical 💔💭 Leilani: what does that mean? Saint: I'm just theorizing on it Saint: no personal experience worth noting Leilani: ... Saint: We don't need to bring the party down with my non-issues Leilani: no announcements, just me Saint: Alright Saint: but only because you don't want to be treated different, not because I think it's important or a big deal or anything at all Saint: I did have a girlfriend, 'til quite recently Saint: but no one here knows that she cheated on me, and that's why I ended things Saint: with one of my friends Leilani: how 🍷 of her Leilani: are they together now? Saint: I'm not sure Saint: Guess I'll see at School Leilani: how long were you with her? Saint: About 2 months shy of a year Leilani: that's horrible, that she didn't end it properly Saint: Yeah Saint: we were really alike Saint: I thought Leilani: we're both dreading school, I wish that was more comforting Saint: I don't want to complain, like it's anywhere near the same Leilani: it doesn't have to be the same to be something we can talk about Saint: I know Saint: it's just Saint: I already feel stupid without complaining to you Leilani: she did something stupid, you don't have to feel like that Saint: I do though, we're a close group Saint: they're both in all my classes pretty much Saint: then I think that the rest of them had to know Saint: so, what does that mean for all of those relationships too Leilani: you won't know what it means until you know whether they were keeping it from you or not Leilani: but you get to decide what happens next with those friendships either way Saint: People pick sides, and even if they already haven't Saint: it won't be the same Leilani: maybe it shouldn't Leilani: if they've picked his side or hers, you deserve different than that Saint: It's my last year Saint: bit late for all that anyway Leilani: if you go into it with that attitude, yeah Leilani: you wouldn't say it's too late for me Saint: You have time, and reason to make it work Leilani: you too Leilani: we haven't known each other long, claiming you need years is a stretch Saint: This is different Saint: I don't know how to explain it Leilani: join a club with me or something, we'll make new friends together Saint: 😅 What kind of club? Leilani: I don't know Leilani: obviously not the Russian Lit appreciation society Saint: Maybe they'll have an anti-appreciation society Leilani: 😅 it'd be popular & so would we Saint: You will be Leilani: there must be genuine clubs you are interested in 🤔💭 & I'll sign up too Saint: I have lots of extra-curriculars Saint: but there's probably a few left out there I haven't tried Leilani: great Saint: What do you want to do? Saint: Sports, music, etc... Leilani: my only demand is no swimming Saint: The chlorine? Leilani: the cap I'd have to wear Leilani: not cute Saint: 😂 Saint: [and IRL] Leilani: hey! I'm serious Saint: Okay, no swimming Saint: we have a pool anyway Leilani: oh, good idea, throwing a party would be a good way to meet people Leilani: 💅💄👙 instead Saint: Hold on, who said anything about a party Leilani: me Leilani: just then Saint: It's a bit Leilani: ... Saint: You do know my sister lives at my house too, right? Leilani: she told me she's back & forth to Paris, can't we do it when she's 🛫? Saint: Not as much as she wishes Saint: I mean, I suppose you could Saint: long as you don't post it all over socials and trash the place Leilani: we could Leilani: the point is, you're there too Saint: A pool party full of underage girls? Saint: I don't know if that's the right direction to be going in Leilani: the 2nd point is, they won't all be underage or girls Saint: Well as mentioned, I don't exactly have a lot of older boys to invite Leilani: that's why we join a club 1st Saint: How many steps does this plan have then? Leilani: I don't know Leilani: it depends how those go Saint: You're funny Saint: And I don't mean that in any way but the words I'm saying, for the record Leilani: I'll be proud becos your laughter is transformative Leilani: it makes you look & me feel really different Saint: Those are some pretty persuasive words Saint: maybe you should write the speeches Leilani: I'll add speech writer to my vision board when I get back Saint: You could do it for me Saint: if that wasn't such a 🥱 prospect Leilani: I think it could be fun Leilani: but what's my cut? Saint: Paying staff is part of a MPs fabled expenses Saint: we can make that wage up as we go along Saint: as long as people don't think I'm favouring you for any reason beyond your 🖋🗯 Leilani: [bats her eyelashes at him in an OTT manner like who would ever think that] Leilani: 😅😅 Saint: [😏] Saint: you'd get to live in London, if you wanted Leilani: who wouldn't want to live in London? Saint: It certainly has its charms Leilani: 🛍🌃💃 Saint: Those are some Leilani: add yours then Saint: 🏛 🛥 ⛪️🚇 🕌 🚖 🕍 🎭 ☕️ 🍷 🍽 Leilani: I was with you until 🍷 Leilani: still, you can show me around before I start work Saint: It's a deal Saint: maybe you'll like white, or rose Leilani: let's see Leilani: [goes off to get wine like] Saint: It takes time Saint: to acquire the taste Leilani: to kill your tastebuds Leilani: [imagine the scene of her with a glass of wine in each hand taking a sip from each and making different but as ICONIC faces of disgust, we're giving them to Matty, fill your boots gal] Saint: How many 👎s? Leilani: as many as poss Saint: 😅😅 Saint: Stick to juice Saint: apart from being bad for your 😁 and the possibility of a sugar high Saint: better option all 'round providing you brush Leilani: is this where you ask for photographic proof back? Saint: 🤔 Saint: I think I trust your dedication to pearly whites Leilani: thanks Saint: You seem...disappointed? Leilani: do I? Leilani: trust is nice, I'm not 😤 Saint: Good Saint: you can send me evidence if you want Saint: maybe your breakfast 'gram, if it lives up to the expectations Leilani: aren't you gonna be there? Saint: Didn't we decide that might not be a good idea right now Leilani: I've only had 3 sips of wine & I don't remember agreeing so Leilani: no? Saint: I don't want my eyes scratched out 💅 Saint: you did a good job on the 😱 factor on her Leilani: I don't have my 🐱 yet Leilani: you can be scared then Saint: You are a 🐱 Saint: so had I better come or else Leilani: if we share the 🥞 you'll be helping curb my chances of a sugar rush & cavities Saint: So that's the for argument Leilani: yeah & I'll keep being funny Saint: You're meant to do against now 😏 Leilani: 🤔 Leilani: the risk of your own sugar rush & cavities Saint: 😂 Saint: I would hate for you to think I'm scared of a little sugar Leilani: 🧄 & 🌤 right? Leilani: or maybe underage girls & unreliable narrators Saint: I'm the unreliable narrator underage girls are scared of Saint: except I'm not, obviously Saint: I'll take vampire rumours over that any day Leilani: at least that means you won't take some other girl for breakfast on the morning of my 16th birthday Saint: That would be very cinematic Saint: but also very rude Leilani: 💔😿 Saint: You'll have to tell me when it is so I can keep it free, avoid the 👿 Leilani: [her birthday whenever we decide that is] Saint: It's in the diary Leilani: 📱 or 📖? Saint: I have both Saint: but I'm not quite that nerdy that I've brought my paper one to a party Leilani: I was just 💔😿 that you borrowed a pen from someone else Saint: Okay, so that's pretty 🤓 Leilani: excuse you, it's not my fault I don't have 20:20 vision Leilani: 🕶🖤 Saint: You aren't that blind or I'd have noticed by now Leilani: I'm wearing contacts Saint: I mean 🕶 is a bit of an exaggeration Leilani: it's a cute emoji, I'm sorry Leilani: & 🤓 is not good teeth representation for me Saint: [actual lol] Saint: Okay, you can have it Leilani: [actual 😍] Leilani: thanks boss Saint: [try not to 😳] Leilani: [use your skin tone to save yourself boy] Saint: wait 'til the tour to decide if you accept Leilani: becos what happens on tour stays on tour or? Saint: depends how much evidence you collect 📸 Leilani: you're the 😇 Saint: Allegedly Leilani: it's your own promo Leilani: meaning you could also convince me you're 😈 Saint: I don't see the benefit in that Leilani: [a LOOK like] Saint: I'm not going to convince you of anything 😈 with just words Leilani: I definitely don't remember making it a words only rule Saint: 🤐🤔 Leilani: ... Saint: [miming both again but we're smiling] Leilani: would you like to dance? in classic 📚 it's totally scandalous Saint: As long as we leave appropriate room for God Leilani: I think if I was fully playing by my god's rules you'd have to be in the next room Leilani: & I'd be wearing 🧕🏾 instead of ears Saint: That would make your outfit very confusing Leilani: this outfit is too tight to be islam approved Saint: [show up to dance like lemme take a closer look] Leilani: [we're having a moment & all I can think about is Grace peeping] Saint: [peeping in a costume which just makes it more amusing some reason] Leilani: [it's happening but I am gonna cockblock this before it goes too hard by saying she starts crying because she can't wait to tell her mum about this & realises she can't #beentheregal] Saint: [oh baby] Leilani: [so then we embarrassed & have to go outside cos there's always peeps in the toilets at any party/fam function] Saint: [at least as Grace is peeping she can follow you and deal 'cos we're gonna assume that isn't what you want him to do] Leilani: [when you wanna go home because mortified especially since he hasn't followed so you think he's mortified but you also don't because you were and are having fun which is the whole reason we cried like #ohjoy thank god Venus is not here] Saint: [we're in actuality worried like oh we shouldn't have done that/any of this lowkey] Leilani: [lowkey outside for ages until Grace is probably freezing to death so we're back but NOT looking at him because dying] Saint: [the awks, go make yourself busy boy] Leilani: [when you're avoiding him but you don't want him to avoid you] Saint: [a mood, at least it is your dad's bday so you can make it look not blatant] Leilani: [maybe this is a good place to end the convo, like it's rude to them but legit] Saint: [agreed, like, can't really come back from this tonight, you will be going home soon gal and breakfast is not happening today] Leilani: [it'll be a hilarious awks but good starting point for the next convo we do like yeah soz I sobbed on you sir]

[dukereviewsmovies]

Duke Reviews: Guardians Of The Galaxy, Vol.2

Hello, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews And Before We Begin I Would Like To Apologize For The Lack Of Clips In My Doctor Strange Review...

I Looked And Looked All Over YouTube For Clips But I Honestly Couldn't Find Any That I Could Use Except For The One I Used, So If You Were Slightly Bored By My Review Because Of That, I Apologize...

Anyway, Today We Are Continuing Our Look At The Marvel Cinematic Universe...

Where Today We Catch Up With Star Lord And The Rest Of The Guardians Of The Galaxy As We Look At Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol.2...

After Saving Xandar From Ronan The Destroyer, The Guardians Are Recognized As Heroes. Now The Team Must Help Star Lord (Played Again By Chris Pratt) Uncover The Truth Behind His Parentage When A Being Named Ego Appears, Claiming To Be His Father...

Will The Other Guardians Discover The Truth About Ego Before It Costs Them The Whole Galaxy?...

Let's Find Out As We Watch Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2...

The Film Starts On Earth In 1980, Where We See Star Lord's Mom Driving With Star Lord's Father, Ego (Played By Kurt Russell) To A Dairy Queen Where They Go Into The Woods Where He Shows Her A Weird Plant That He Planted...

Not That Weird Plant...

Telling Star Lord's Mom That These Plants Will Soon Be All Across The Universe, They Kiss Which Is When We Cut To 34 Years Later (I.E. Now) On The Planet Sovereign Where The Guardians Are Preparing For A Fight Against A Rather Large Enemy Before The Title Credits Roll With Baby Groot...

Yeah I Know, He's Cute, We All Love Him And The Intro Just Adds To His Cuteness...

Eventually Defeating The Monster, The Guardians Meet With The Leader Of The Sovereign, Ayesha (Played By Elizabeth Debecki) Who Gives Them Their Reward For Defeating The Monster Which Just So Happens To Be Amy Pond...

You're Welcome For The Reference, Dr. Who Fans...

No, Actually It's Nebula Who Got Caught Stealing One Of Their Batteries, Which Of Course They Cannot Allow...

So, What Happens Next? Well, Rocket (Played Again By Bradley Cooper) Steals One Of Their Batteries...

And Now The Guardians Are Wanted By The Sovereign...

Eventually Hitting The Milano, The Guardians Are Saved When An Unknown Spacecraft Destroys All Of The Sovereign's Ships They Sent After The Guardians As The Milano Crashes Down On A Nearby Planet...

Once On The Planet, Their Savior Reveals Himself To Be The Computer Who Wore Tennis Shoes...

All Right, Actually It's Ego And His Assistant, Mantis (Played By Pom I Don't Know How To Spell Your Last Name) Who Reveals That Ego Is Peter's Father...

Meanwhile On The Planet Contraxia, Yondu (Played By Michael Rooker) And His Ravager Crew Enjoy A Little Downtime Only For Yondu To Run Into His Old Mentor, Stakar (Played By John Spartan) And His Partner, Martinex (Played By The Best Lex Luthor Ever)

Seriously, Michael Why Weren't You In Crisis?!?

Anyway, These 2 Don't Like That Yondu Took Star Lord When He Was A Kid And In Turn Believe That Yondu's A Sellout And That He Betrayed The Code The Ravagers Stand For, So They Exile Him...

This In Turn Has Some Of His Crew Including Taserface (Played By Toby From This Is Us) Questioning Yondu's Leadership. But Soon Ayesha Arrives To Hire Yondu To Recapture The Guardians For Her...

Back On Planet Unknown, Ego Tells Quill That He Hired Yondu To Pick Him Up When His Mom Passed Away But Instead Yondu Kept Him And He's Been Looking For Him Since...

Inviting Quill, Gamora (Played Again By Zoe Saldana) And Drax (Played By Batista) To His Home Planet They All Accept As Rocket And Baby Groot Decide To Stay Behind To Repair The Milano And Guard Nebula...

But As They Are On Their Way To Ego's Planet (Which Is Right By Gilligan's Planet) Yondu And The Ravagers Attack Rocket, Groot, Nebula And The Milano..

Capturing Rocket, Rocket Tells Them That He'll Give Them The Batteries As Long As He Spares Groot. Yondu Agrees To Rocket's Terms As He Doesn't Want The Nova Corp On Their Asses...

But With Taserface And His Crew Believing He's Really Saving Quill, They Question Yondu's Leadership And Taserface Leads A Mutiny Against Yondu As Nebula Gets Free And Captures Groot...

Arriving On Ego's Planet Which Is An Extension Of His Body, Ego Reveals To Them That He Is A Celestial Who Created A Humanoid Avatar To Travel The Galaxy And Interact With Other Species

Back On Yondu's Ship, Taserface Kills Everyone Loyal To Yondu While Nebula Takes A Ship To Ego's Planet So She Can Finish Off Nebula Before Attempting To Kill Her Father, Thanos...

Apologizing For Not Being There When Him And His Mother Needed Him Most, Ego Asks Peter To Give Him The Chance To Be The Father He Wanted To Be By Teaching Him About The Planet And The Light Within Him...

Asking Him To Close His Eyes And Concentrate, Peter Creates Energy Within His Hands Before Forming It Into A Ball That He Plays Catch With Ego With...

While Drax Becomes Friends With Mantis Who Tries To Reveal Something To Him Only For Gamora Interrupt Them When She Wants To Know Where They'll Be Staying...

Back On Yondu's Ship, Taserface Throws Rocket And Yondu In A Cell Until They Can Be Delivered To The Kree Tomorrow, While Imprisoned, Rocket And Yondu Discover That They're Alot Alike As Yondu Explains How He Became A Ravager...

Explaining That After Escaping From A Kree Slave Camp, Stakar Offered Yondu A Place With The Ravagers Saying That All He Had To Do Was Keep To The Code But Being Young, Greedy And Stupid They Exiled Yondu. But Knowing That They Have To Get Out Of There, Yondu Comes Up With A Plan That Involves Groot...

Luckily Groot Escapes When Most Of The Ravagers Fall Asleep After Turning Groot Into Their New Mascot, And Decides To Help Yondu And Rocket Escape By Getting Him A Prototype Fin For Him To Control His Arrow..

(Start At 0:49)

Getting Yondu His Fin, Yondu's Second In Command Kraglin Asks For Forgiveness For His Actions Stating That He Didn't Know That Taserface Would Kill His Friends, So Telling Kraglin To Get His Escape Ship Ready, While Rocket Gets The Fin On His Head Leading To One Of The Best Scenes Of This Movie...

Hitting The Main Reactor, Yondu Launches His Escape Ship As The Rest Of The Ship Blows Up But Before It Does, Taserface Sends The Sovereign Yondu's Ship's Coordinates As Yondu's Ship Jumps To Wacky Face Speed Which Leads To Our Stan Lee Cameo...

Stan Lee Cameo!

And Yes, Those Are Watchers Talking To Stan...

Back On Ego's Planet, Quill And Gamora Have A Moment For Romance On The Planet But It Gets Slightly Ruined When Gamora Admits To Peter That She Feels That There Is Something About Ego And This Place That Doesn't Feel Right But Believing That Gamora Is Jealous Of His New Powers, Gamora Walks Off...

Only To Be Attacked By Nebula Who Fires At Her From The Ship She Got From The Ravagers While Gamora Is Sitting In A Field. Eventually Though The 2 Sisters Reach An Uneasy Truce When They Explore The Caverns Beneath Ego's Planet Only To Find Skeletal Remains...

Talking With Ego In His Room, He Decides To Tell Peter His Plan Called The Expansion, Saying That After He Travelled The Universe, Ego Found The Lifeforms In It Disappointing, So He Planted Seedlings On Thousands Of Worlds So He Could Use Them To Terraform Them Into Versions Of Himself...

But In Order To Do It, He Needed The Power Of A Second Celestial To Activate The Seedlings, So He Conceived Children With Hundreds Of Women All Across The Galaxy And Hired Yondu And His Ravagers To Collect Them, But None Of Them Except Peter Were Able To Access The Celestial Power So He Had Them All Killed...

I Know, Right? That's Messed Up...

Asking About His Friends And His Mother, Ego Tells Peter That Gods Are Beyond Such Things As Friends And As His Mom, Ego Admits He Did Love Her To The Point That He Wanted To Stay With Her But Not Wanting To Jeopardize His Purpose In Life, He Put The Tumor In Her Head That Killed Her...

Finding That His Son Lacks Vision (As He Transforms Into David Hasslehoff For Some Reason) Ego Uses Quill As A Battery While He Starts Activating The Seeds On Thousands Of Planets Including Earth...

However, While Ego Was Telling Quill His Plan, Mantis Told Drax That He Was In Danger Which Lead To Them Reuniting With Gamora And Nebula While Rocket, Yondu And Groot Arrive In The Region Of Ego's Planet On Board Yondu's Ship...

Calling Gamora, Rocket Tells Her To Keep The Transmitter Active So He Can Find Them On The Planet As All Of Them Except Kraglin Go Down To Ego's Planet In A Pod Yondu Once Used To Rob A Bank...

Using The Element Of Surprise, Yondu's Pod Lands On Top Of Ego As Gamora, Drax And Mantis Enter To Help Peter Who Gets An "I Told You So" From Gamora...

Time And Place, Gamora, Time And Place...

Attempting To Come Up With A Plan To Stop Ego, Peter Suggests Going To Ego's Core Where A Thick Shell Protects Ego's Brain, Eventually Escaping Ego's Palace, They Use The Lasers In The Pod To Journey To The Center Of Ego But Unfortunately The Sovereign Have Sent More Drones To Ego To Deal With The Guardians...

Taking Out The Pod's Main Generator That Powers The Lasers, Rocket Creates A Bomb Out Of The Sovereign's Batteries For Groot To Place On Ego's Brain...

Powering The Lasers Through Nebula's Robotics, Yondu Manages To Destroy All The Sovereign's Drones, Last Starfighter Style...

Overloading The Ship, It Blows Up As Nebula, Quill And Yondu Escape...

As We Get Probably The Best Line Of The Entire Movie, Everyone Say It With Me....

"I'm Mary Poppins, Y'all!"

Telling Kraglin Meet Him For Extraction, Drax Goes To The Surface With An Unconscious Mantis As Ego Finds Them Causing And Earthquake Which Leads To Nebula And Gamora Falling And Rocket And Yondu Dealing With Ego's Energy Tentacles As Peter Faces Ego In One Last Fight...

Despite Nearly Being Defeated By Ego, Groot Sets The Bomb And The Other Guardians (Except Yondu Who Is Going Back For Peter) Make It To The Surface...

Telling That If The Bomb Blows, His Powers Will Disappear Forever, And Telling Him What's Wrong With That, The Bomb Exploded And Ego Dies As Yondu Saves Quill, By Sacrificing His Life To Do So...

Ah, What The Hell...

As The Guardians Hold A Small Funeral For Yondu, As Gamora Says Goodbye To Nebula Who Is Off To Kill Her Father, Thanos Kraglin Gives Quill A Zune Device (Would Have Sprung For An Ipod But That's Me) And The Ravagers Including Judge Dredd Give Yondu A Ravager's Funeral As The Movie Ends...

Now Unlike Most Of The MCU, That Feature 1 Mid-Credits Scene And 1 End Credits Scene, This Has 3 Mid Credits Scenes And 1 End Scene..

Mid Credits Scene 1, Sees Kraglin Trying To Learn How To Use Yondu's Arrow With No Real Success...

Mid Credits Scene #2, Sees Rocky Balboa Reuniting His Old Team Which Includes The Flash From The Justice League Animated Series And 3 Others Charlie-27 (Played By Ving Rhaymes) Aleeta Orgood, (Who Is Rambo's Wife Or Sister, Played By Michelle Yeoh) Krugarr (Who Is Unvoiced) And Mainframe (Played By Hannah Montana, I Really Wish I Was Joking On That) In Honor Of Yondu's Death...

Mid Credits Scene #3 Sees Ayesha (Embarssed By Her Defeat At The Hands Of The Guardians) Decides To Send The Warrior Who Is Inside Of A New Pod After The Guardians...

Who Is in This Pod?

Well, Ayesha Gives Us A Clever Hint That His Name Is Adam As A Clue That Adam Warlock Will Be In The Next Movie...

And Finally Mid Credits Scene 4, Sees Baby Groot Evolving Into Teenage Groot As Quill Walks In On Him Playing With A Video Game...

But For Our End Credits Scene, We Have A Continuation Of The Stan Lee Cameo With The Watchers, Which Really Wasn't Needed In My Opinion....

I Really Love The Stan Lee Cameos But We Saw It There Was No Need To Continue It And Having It There Is Like Them Giving Us A Big Middle Finger For Us Staying Till The Credits Ended...

If Anything They Should Have Had The Ayesha Scene Here With Adam Warlock But Having This Here Is Like Them Saying...

(Start At 0:06)

Anyway, That Was Guardians Of The Galaxy, Vol.2 And I Liked It...

The Story Was Interesting, The Characters Were Written Great And The Villain Was Interesting However I Feel That There Were Too Many Mid Credits Scenes During The Credits And As I Said That End Credits Scene Didn't Need To Be Added Either Way Though I Say See It...

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 14.01: Stranger in a Strange Land

The Road So Far: Well, this montage pales in comparison to the one at the beginning of 13.23. Conspicuously absent: Sam being killed by vampires and resurrected by Lucifer. Also, it's set to an AC/DC song, and I dislike AC/DC, so let's just skip this, shall we?

(But Caranfindel! We thought you LOVED all that crappy old 80s music!)

You kids behave or I'll turn this car around.

Anyway. We open with Sam, driving the Impala alone through the night. He feels the same way I do about AC/DC, and turns off the radio (Sidebar: Have I mentioned before that I love when the soundtrack becomes part of the actual scene? Because I do.) Let's just take a good look at Sam here, looking magnificently angry and beardy. Because of course he's been too busy/depressed/other reasons to shave. And honestly, I'm not normally into beards. I love some heavy scruff, but a heavy beard doesn't generally do things for me. But this is just, rawr. I don't want him to keep it. Mama needs to see those dimples. But for right now? Let's enjoy it.

Mmmmm yes.

We cut to a (presumably) Muslim man being awakened by a call to prayers. He puts out his rug, begins to pray, and is suddenly shocked to see The Flying Squirrel sitting in his living room. Still wearing the hat, unfortunately. Michael informs Jamil that he's read about him, and quotes what is presumably the Koran (and Jensen speaking what is presumably Arabic isn't quite as hot as Jared speaking French, but is still very, very enjoyable). I wasn't aware that Gabriel and Michael were mentioned in the Koran. (Is this not actually the Koran? I'm going to feel like an idiot if it's not.)

Yes, you are the better one, but only because of your pretty, pretty vessel.

Michael is there to ask Jamil the question he's been asking a variety of people ("holy men, leaders, killers") for weeks. "What do you want?" (Sidebar: speaking of holy men, I still wonder where Michael and Lucifer found all the ingredients for the spell to open the rift in AU Land. How did Lucifer recognize that the blood came from a Most Holy Man and wasn't just average blood?)

Jamil says he wants peace and love, and Michael snidely points out that if he'd really wanted peace, he wouldn't have left Syria and abandoned his friends to die, and that's cold, man. That's really cold. He also tells him that if he cared about love, he wouldn't have gone into that broom closet with Darlene and his wife wouldn't have left him, and I'm with you on that one, Michael. Avoid going into broom closets with chicks named Darlene. Michael then throws Jamil about the room and tells him he's lost, and not worth saving. And for his part, Michael wants what he's always wanted: a better world. Oooh, like ours, maybe? Duh duh duuuuuhhhh!

New title card! I don't really like it. The blue flames are cool but the wings are too cartoony.

Bunker. The place is bustling with activity. A poor Sam substitute with long hair and a plaid shirt is laying out different types of bullets for Mary. Maggie is tending to someone who was injured by a rawhead. Someone shows up with food. Sam comes downstairs, apparently having just returned from Atlanta, and gets a hug. Aw. I guess the silver lining to Dean being gone is that Sam gets to be Number One Son for once.

His lead in Atlanta didn't pan out, but Mary reminds him that Ketch is working on a lead in London (and just like at the end of s13, there is no evdience at all that Mary remembers or cares what Ketch did to her in s12, so... okay then) and Cas is doing something in Detroit (Sidebar: How does Sam feel about Detroit? Can he hear Castiel's in Detroit without hearing Lucifer tell him I think it's gonna happen in Detroit?) and then she thoughtfully expositions for us that it's been three weeks since Dean... and she trails off without saying whatever she was going to say. I know it's awkward to say since he agreed to be an archangel vessel in an attempt to save your life but you could just say since Dean's been gone.

She assures Sam that "something will break; it has to" (and I'm thinking yes, and it will be Sam) and he says "yeah, you keep saying that." Oh, Sam. You used to be the one assuring Dean that you'd be able to fix/find/kill/save whatever, and now you're on the other side of that conversation.

He yawns, and she tries to get him to get some rest. Poor Sam never had a mother and now he's being mothered within an inch of his life. Then Not!Sam calls him Chief \o/ and gives him some soup and some bad news about vampires on I-90. Sam gives some instructions, because he's Leader Sam now, and then he asks Maggie if she can hack into the traffic cams and she says "Um. No."

I don't know if this is just supposed to be amusing, or if it's a sign that Sam is cracking under the pressure and has forgotten that this is Maggie, not Charlie. Or if it's just a demonstration of how useless Maggie is, although she's performing first aid so it's not like all she can do is sneak out to meet the cute guy at the Gas N Sip.

Sam hands his food off to Mary, because you can't hack and eat at the same time, everyone knows that, and sits down at the laptop, pointedly ignoring some mothering from Mary. "I'm good, I am," he says.

YES YOU ARE, MY PRECIOUS LITTLE LUMBERJACK, YOU ARE SO, SO GOOD.

He asks Mary about Jack, which is our segue to Jack sparring with AU Bobby. Jack's learning how much life sucks with no angelic powers. While Sam has ignored his grooming routine, Jack has changed his hair. It's shorter, without so much swoop in the front. It's okay.

Cut to a barbeque joint in what must be Detroit. We see a pair of shoes and too-long pants walking in, and then a guy wearing a pair of Agent Smith sunglasses says "Castiel, darling" and greets Cas, who is sitting at a conspicuous table right in the middle of the dining room. The fireplace behind him looks very much like the one we saw in President Lucifer's hotel room. Coincidence? (Spoiler alert: No, I don't think it's a coincidence that there’s a Fireplace from Hell in this restaurant.)

Cas is surprised Agent Smith chose this place to meet, and Agent Smith is surprised that Cas wanted to meet at all, considering that he's (dramatically removes the sunglasses) a demon. (gasp!) Cas asks if any demons know where Dean is, and Agent Smith says he's surprised that Cas lost him, considering that they're "joined at the... you know, everything." Oh, wait. Is Andrew Dabb a Destiel shipper? Because it's getting awfully shippy in here. I feel like I should complain about him pandering to the baser desires of a certain contingency of fans, but on the other hand, he's give me Bearded Angsty Sam, so let's just agree not to discuss our various base desires, shall we?

Carrying on. Agent Smith asks the eternal question, not "what do you want" but "what's in it for me," and Cas threatens to kill him if he doesn't spill. Oddly enough, even though Cas could tell if someone was evil or if they were lying in s13, he didn't realize that everyone else in this restaurant is a demon. Your powers are oddly specific, Cas. There's a fight, in which angels and demons use fists, because that's just what you do now, and Cas is predictably beaten to a pulp. (Also of note: one of the beer signs in the restaurant is for Fast Jack's Ale.)

Cut to a church. Sister Jo? We're back to that, then? Okay. Anael walks out, counting a wad of money, and meets Michael in a dark alley. He calls her Jo because... because that's how he was introduced to her? No. Because that's her angel name? No. There is no reason for any angel to call her Jo. What the fuck ever. She recognizes that he's not Dean, and then I don't know if he reveals his wings, or if she just sees him in Angel!Vision (Angel Radio is so old fashioned), but we get a special effect and she realizes who he is.

Do I like this or is it cheesy? 🤔

She even knows he’s not from our world. But I guess the AU angels recognized that Lucifer wasn’t from their world. Just not so quickly.

Oh God.

People keep calling me that.

Hee! (Although I don't think angels would use "God" like that but whatever.) She asks why Dean would have let Michael possess him, and Michael answers "love," and YES. I am here for Michael recognizing that Dean loves Sam (and maybe Jack but we know this was about Sam) and would have only done this to save him. Michael asks her his question, what do you want, and she spouts some designer labels. (Sidebar: What is the deal with her, anyway? Why does she need money?) He doesn't believe she's telling the truth, and I hope he’s right, because Show has given me no reason to think an angel would be interested in material things, even if they're covered with big tacky double-C logos.

Michael says he knows all about her, because "the other angel" knew all about her. Lucifer? Is he talking about Lucifer? (And one of the things Lucifer knew was that her name was not Jo, but whatever!) He knows that what she really wants is love, a home, a family. "It's very, very human of you." Hmmm. Interesting that Anael kind of liked that "almost human" feeling she got when Lucifer was sucking down her grace. Michael knows there are very few angels left, and thought he might be able to help, but if they're all as lost and fallen as she is, maybe they're not worth saving. Careful, Anael. The last person who heard this speech was Jamil, and it did not end well for him.

Bunker. Jack is sitting on his bed when Sam comes in. He's heard from Bobby that Jack had a terrible no good awful day (although I thought Jack was actually okay at the end of his scene with Bobby?), and he's so kind and encouraging about how hard it must be for him to be without his powers. "I have faith in you, Jack," he says. "And I believe in you." Which is basically the same thing but daaaaaawwwww! Mary interrupts to say "Sam, um, he's awake." Sam sighs and looks distressed and I know what you were all thinking. Who is awake and why does this distress Sam so much? He tells Jack "We'll talk later, all right?" but Jack stays in Quiet Angst mode and doesn't respond as Sam sadly creeps out of his room.

In the hall, Sam and Mary are talking about him.

Did he say anything?

I didn't talk to him. I can barely look at him.

Sam is clearly fucked the hell UP over him, and Mary peels off as Sam hesitantly opens the door. The room is dark, and a figure in a white shirt is sitting on the bed. Sam sighs nervously again and turns on the light and walks into the room. The man on the bed is facing away from us, but we can see his bed is in the middle of a devil's trap. Sam comes closer, radiating fear the way he did when he was locked in the jail cell with Jack in 13.01, and the figure turns around.

Hey, Sam.

Hey. Nick.

OH GOD, GUYS, NICK IS ALIVE.

We get a flashback of Lucifer convincing Nick to be his vessel, but we don't get Lucifer promising revenge against the people who murdered his wife and baby. I think anyone who hasn't been watching long would have benefited from knowing why Nick said yes. But maybe we'll get back to that later.

Sam and Nick discuss his nightmares, and I can't help wondering how much he remembers, if he knows what his body did to Sam, if he knows how many of Sam's nightmares feature his face. Sam cleans his angel blade wound, and they speculate on why the archangel blade didn't kill him. I assume they're setting us up to accept that the archangel blade will kill Michael and not Dean. Oh, those crazy archangel blades and their bizarre rules.

(Sidebar: Why is Sam the one taking care of Nick? Because no one else will do it? Because Sam won't make anyone else do it? Discuss.)

(I'm not crying, you're crying.)

Nick is a little whiny and "poor me, I almost ended the world." Okay, that's not fair, I can see why he'd be upset. But do not whine to Sam Winchester about it. Sam is so tentative and kind. When Nick says it must be weird to look at him, Sam surprises me by saying "yeah," instead of brushing off his own trauma. He asks Nick if he remembers anything, and Nick says it's still "bits and pieces" and nothing about Dean. He does remember Michael saying he "wanted to do it right this time." Duh duh duuuuhhhhhh!

We see Sam in the hall, shutting the door with a long shaky sigh and rubbing at his face, and STOP IT I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS I AM ONLY HUMAN.

This is the sound of my heart breaking.

I have so many feelings about this scene. First, so much love for Jared, because he shows Sam's terror of this guy SO WELL. And, like 13.01, that conflict between his fear and his need to be nice to this person, to care for him.

And I have conflicted feelings about Nick being alive and well. First, it's bizarre, because (1) why would the archangel blade not kill the vessel along with the angel, because that was definitely human blood, and (b) why is he sane? Why would Lucifer have taken better care of his vessel than Raphael did? (And does it mean Gabriel's vessel is alive over in AU Land?)

And does it mean Lucifer is coming back? Because I DO NOT WANT. Although I have one tiny speck of hopeful joy, because if this isn't really Nick, if this is, in fact, Lucifer? Or if Lucifer's grace will grow inside him (because we know a bit of grace remains inside the vessel) and he becomes Lucifer? That means Sam could still kill him. (Oh, please, baby Jesus.)

But I also have a lot of anger. Because this should have been a shocking reveal, and it wasn't, because the SHOW ITSELF SPOILED IT. I don't know if this happened to everybody, but in my time zone, we had a commercial for the movie "Halloween" that was apparently a tie-in with the show, and it showed Sam asking Nick if he remembered Michael. AND THEY SHOWED IT BEFORE THE REVEAL. WHAT THE FUCK, SHOW??? I assume it was a mistake, and judging from my Tumblr feed, it didn't happen in every time zone. So to those of you who actually got to be surprised, congratulations. I'm sure it was awesome.

Carrying on.

Sam's phone rings. It's Cas's phone, but it's not Cas talking. It's Agent Smith. The next shot is Sam loading up his weapons bag, confidently agreeing with Mary that yes, it is a trap, but of course he's going anyway. He's bringing Mary and Bobby, which makes sense, and Maggie, which doesn't. I guess all the good hunters are off looking for vampires on I-90. Jack wants to come too, which Bobby finds ridiculous, but Sam explains that Jack needs this. OH SAM.

Back at the restaurant, Agent Smith gets a coffee refill and asks Cas if he's sure he doesn't want anything hot and black. Which reminds me... what happened to Michael's previous vessel? Shouldn't he be around somewhere? Agent Smith says he's trying to be a good host, "like mother would have wanted," which makes me think we're going to find out something interesting about his mother and/or a female boss, perhaps an awesome Queen of Hell. (Spoiler alert: false alarm.)

He expositions that he needs something from Sam, because someone recently asked him what he wanted (Michael! It was Michael!) and he didn't know. So he thought about it, and he realized he wants everything. Hmmm. Would Michael have accepted that as an answer? Apparently so, because Agent Smith still walks the earth.

Impala. Sam's driving, with Mary riding shotgun, and I guess everyone else is in Bobby's truck. Mary tells Sam again that everything is going to be fine, and he shocks me by saying "Stop saying that, please." He's tired of her relentless everything will be okay and says "Dean's gone, and we have no idea where he is, or if he's even still alive, you know? Michael could have burned him out, or worse..."

Mary says she knows that, but she has to think about the good, "because if I don't, I will drown in the bad," which reminds me of Sam once saying there was so much evil that he thought he could drown in it. And I like this scene a lot. I like Sam breaking, telling Mary what he thinks instead of burying his feelings. I like the fact that Sam knows so much better than Mary ever could what can happen when you're in an archangels hands. I like that Sam knows how Raphael's vessel ended up, alive but gone. I like that Sam's voice gets shaky when he talks about what could be happening to Dean. I like this all, very much.

In the other car, Bobby tells Jack that they've got his back. Jack looks sadly out the window. I don't know why. I don't understand what's going on here. Is he concerned that he's so useless, someone has to have his back? Is he having second thoughts about coming along? Is he regretting his haircut? I just don't know.

The gang arrives at the restaurant and Sam gives Mary the demon-killing knife. "They'll search me," he says, because he's so damn smart. Then he tells the others "you know what to do," which suggests some kind of plan, and heads for the restaurant. Once inside, he is patted down as predicted, and Agent Smith fangirls all over him. "You are a damn legend, Sam. An icon! The shoulders, the hair! You are my Beyonce!" Same, Agent Smith. Same.

Sam ignores him to ask Cas if he's okay. Cas says he's more embarrassed than hurt, and, well, he should be, because this is pretty embarrassing. Agent Smith introduces himself as Kipling, Kip for short, but I'm sorry, it's too late for that. He's stuck with Agent Smith as far as I'm concerned. Sam refuses to shake his hand. Don't feel bad, Agent Smith, he refused to shake Mick Davies' hand too.

Smith points out that Sam didn't come alone, as he was supposed to, and his minions drag Jack and Maggie into the room. "Found them outside," a minion says; "they didn't even put up a fight." I assume this is part of the plan, that Jack and Maggie are a diversion or something. Agent Smith says he needs more from Sam now. He wants to make a deal.

Turns out Hell is in "a bit of a pickle." Crowley is dead and Asmodeus is "Kentucky-fried" (see, it's funny, because he looked like Colonel Sanders) and Sam interrupts him to say "I don't care" but Agent Smith thinks he does. Or he will. He wants to be the new King, and he wants Sam to work with him. "You see, I want the Crowley deal. I give you information, a spot of help every now and again, and in turn, you choose to turn a blind eye to the crossroads deals, the demon-on-demon violence, etc." Well, good for you, Crowley. Your mother thought the Winchesters were your weak spot, but Agent Smith here realizes it was a mutually beneficial relationship. Sam tells him they didn't actually have that deal with Crowley, and also that he's no Crowley, and aw. I miss the little limey bastard.

Agent Smith doesn't appreciate this, and growls that in his day he rode with Genghis Khan. He pokes Sam's chest and says "If I had my way I would eat your heart," and I feel you, Agent Smith. If I had my way, I'd also be removing that unfortunate orange jacket and that shirt and nibbling at whatever I found underneath. It's a sad day for both of us.

Agent Smith tells Sam that he's not afraid of him, but his minions are, and he should take the deal before he "stops trying to be Crowley," which I guess means stops not killing Sam's friends. So, is Agent Smith going to be the new Big Bad? The new King of Hell? I mean, he's not the most boring demon we've ever seen, but he's not really grabbing me, either. On the other hand, a King who's more of a Sam fan than a Dean fan could be fun. (Though, let us never forget that no matter how much Crowley craved a bromance with Dean, he was still Not Moose in Crowley's phone.)

Sam acts like he's considering the offer and then calmly says "no," and then Mary and Bobby burst in and there's a weirdly long, weirdly slow-motion fight. Really, it goes on way too long. There's no reason for an extended slow-motion fight when there's no suspense about who's going to come out of it alive. The only person who might conceivably die here is Maggie, and even she survives. Jack defends a fallen Bobby, Mary tells Maggie how to use a knife (seriously?), Sam gets some nice hair-in-the-face action, but really, we could have skipped 90% of this melee. And I'm still confused about why sometimes demons can pin people against walls, and sometimes they can't. Or just choose not to.

Eventually Sam kills Agent Smith and then shouts enough! and oh, you know I like that, don't you. Everyone stops fighting, because Sam Fucking Winchester said so. "There will be no new King of Hell," he announces. "Not today, not ever. Anybody wants the job, he can come through me. Understood? So, what's it gonna be?" Apparently it is understood, because the demons immediately smoke out. The humans (and Cas) look at Sam, shocked, and he pants (hubba hubba) and says "that's what I thought."

Well. What do we think about this? I mean, on the one hand, it's awesome. It's Sam Fucking Winchester taking charge. On the other hand, the only possible way it makes sense is if the demons have a reason to fear him. And that would have to be because they see him as Boy!King Sam, not as Sam Winchester the hunter, right? There's no reason for them to fear him that much as a human hunter. But there's no way he's getting his powers back, so why is Show teasing us like this?

Carrying on. Sam is back in the bunker, wearing a dark shirt with rolled up sleeves showing his big veiny arms (YAAASSSSS), holding a beer bottle against his head. He's on the phone, telling someone to keep looking. Cas comes in and Sam tells him the call was from Ketch, who's in London looking for the pulse generator they used to remove Lucifer from President Rooney. Hmmm, I'd forgotten about that thing. So, is Ketch searching in the BMoL headquarters? Is he welcome there? Or are they dead/disbanded because of what happened over here? So many questions. No answers.

Mmmmmm... ❤️

Cas asks if he's okay, and since he's on an honesty streak, Sam admits he's been better. But also that he's been worse. Oh, Sam. Cas apologizes for going to the demons, and Sam says he'd have done it himself if he'd thought of it. "If it meant finding Dean, I'd work with... I'd do anything."

Have you considered watching The Weather Channel? They’ve been tracking Michael for days.

In the kitchen, Mary and Bobby drink beer and make cute googly eyes at each other. He calls her "Sunshine." They're precious.

In his room, Jack stares angrily in the mirror and tells Cas he's fine, which is obviously a lie.

All I did was get punched in the face.

To be fair, we all got punched in the face.

Hee! But Jack misses his powers, and the ability to actually do something. Cas tells him his grace should regenerate with time, which answers THAT big question. Jack complains about being useless without his grace, and this is a good opportunity for Cas to point out that no one else in the bunker has magic nephilim powers and yet they're not useless, even Maggie, so why does he think he can't do anything? But he doesn't. He just tells him he has a family, which isn't really what Jack's complaint is right now. Jack still looks unhappy, so I guess this is setting us up for some future conflict. Yay.

Sam goes into his room, empties his pockets (he still has the money clip from Tall Tales!!!), and gets a phone call from an unknown number. It's Jo. "We have a problem,” she says. I don’t know about you, but I think she’s working for Michael!

And finally, in a dank damp basement somewhere, Michael has finally found someone who answered his question correctly and knows exactly what they want. "You don't pretend to want to help people, or save the world. Your want is pure, and simple, and clean. And that's why you are worth saving. That's why we are going to work so well together. Because you? You just want to eat." Oh, because you're a vampire. Well. That's not good.

So! I know the first ep of the season needs to set up the story arcs, so it's not necessarily going to be great. It has a lot of work to do. And I think this one did okay with that. We've got some interesting irons in the fire - Angry Chief Sam and his Beard of Despair, who has (probably temporarily) stopped telling people what they want to hear, and is telling his truth instead. The Nick situation. Whatever conflict is going to brew with Jack while his grace regenerates. Michael's hunt for the perfect thoughtless killing machine. Sam as default King of Hell. There are things brewing that I don't like. Jack turning his self-loathing against Sam or Cas. The potential return of Lucifer. There are things that make no sense. An angel who wants designer bags. Michael's hat. Hopefully they will all go away. And there were things I adored, which is basically ALL THINGS SAM. Chief Sam, patient-but-angry Sam, lord-of-all-demons Sam, terrified-but-caring Sam, hair-in-his-face Sam, BEARDY SAM, ALL THE SAM, ALL THE TIME.

But I miss Dean. What do you think about Jensen as Michael? I think he's doing a pretty good job. I don't think he plays Not!Dean as well as Jared plays Not!Sam, but I do think he's doing well. It makes me wish we'd had more of Demon!Dean.

Please help me stay unspoiled, thanks!

[taenamseok]

Masterlist

Summary: After receiving a mysterious invitation, your life is changed forever. Is it better or worse? It all depends on how you handle the situation.

Previous/Next

Chapter Two

You groan softly, stretching your aching limbs. There's not much room to move on the couch, so you almost fall off, but you're stopped by something. "Y-Y/N?" Your mysterious counterpart stutters. You sit up, but feel dizzy. "What have I done?" The male says shakily. The light blinds you as your eyelids part. After your eyes adjust, you see Lestat, sitting on the floor, knees tucked to his chest. Your eyebrows raise as you see his mask off, revealing his face. He's incredibly handsome, and you'd love to focus on his features, but you realize you're freezing, and your neck hurts.

"Sh, please, lay back down, Y/N. You need to rest." He cooes. You nod slowly, not arguing as you lay back down. "What happened?" You ask, your voice raspy. You hear a sniffle and shuffle, a large hand pushing the hair out of your face. "I'm so sorry. Oh God, what have I done?" He cries. Just then, there's a knock on the door. "Oh no." He whispers. He gets up, and you hear the click of the doorknob. "Dude, are you ready? Hoseok really made a mess this time. It's all hands on deck." Another voice says. "Um, now's not exactly the best time, Taehyung." Lestat stutters. "Why? What-" "No!" Lestat shouts. "No way." You open your eyes to see a young man hovering over you. "Dude, Namjoon is going to kill you." The man says.

You hear the door close, and Lestat sigh. "I know. I just, I don't know why. I couldn't go through with it. She's special, Tae." Lestat explains as you sit up. "What's so special about her?" The young man, Taehyung, asks. He gets really close to you, examining your features closely, making you uncomfortable. "Wait, is she the one I smelled at the party?" "Yeah, she is." Lestat replies. "Shit, man. You're definitely screwed." Taehyung chuckles. "I'm sorry, what are you guys talking about? Who are you?" You ask.

"I'm sorry, I haven't even introduced myself yet. I'm Taehyung. Nice to meet you." The man knelt down in front of you smiles, holding a hand out to you. You shake his hand, whispering a hello. "My name is Y/N." You reply. "What the hell is the hold up?" A shout comes from the hallway. You all turn to face the door as a man stands in the doorway. He's nicely dressed, just like the two men in the room, his head held high. He radiated power, and the men cower at the sight of him. His gaze lands on you, and his jaw tightens. "What is the meaning of this, Seokjin?" His voice deep and chilling.

"Namjoon, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I couldn't let her die." Lestat stutters. 'Seokjin' is what the man, Namjoon, called him. So is that his real name? "What the hell do you mean you couldn't kill her? That's what we do!" The man's voice booms, causing you to jump. You feel a hand on your thigh, and see Seokjin's shaky hand resting there, squeezing softly, but you push it away slightly. "I'm sorry, but could someone please explain what's going on?" You spit. The dominant man looks towards you, smirking slightly. "You." He says. "You're the one I smelled earlier. The virgin. Oh, Seokjin, what mess have you put yourself into?" He chuckles before moving quickly. Before you know it, Seokjin is pinned to the wall, fingers tightly wrapped around his throat.

"Namjoon! Hey!" Taehyung cries, racing to the men and trying his best to pry Namjoon away from Seokjin. His cries apparently attract attention, and you hear many footsteps echoing through the hallway. Multiple men appear in the doorway, and three of them run in to help Taehyung in his efforts while the other just stands there, eyes as wide as a dear in the headlights. Shouting and tussling continues until they finally free Seokjin, who gasps for air. "Namjoon, what the hell?" One of the new men ask. In the group that rushed in, you recognize one red haired man, Deacon he said his name was, standing with them. "Look for yourself." Namjoon says, pointing at you. All eyes are on you now as you shift in your seat uncomfortably. "No way, Seokjin did that?" The shortest one asked. Namjoon nodded, and you wonder what they mean by 'did that'. Surely you guys didn't hook up, unless he did that while you were passed out. But, he didn't seem like the guy to do that.

You look at him as he slouches against the wall, catching his breath. He looks at you somberly before mouthing a phrase. "I'm sorry." What is he sorry for? "Do you think we have room for her?" Another man asks. "She could bunk with me." Deacon smirks. "No." Namjoon booms. "We aren't taking her." "But, we can't just leave here on her own, she doesn't know how to live like us! How will she survive?" The smaller one cries. "I don't care how she survives! Seokjin ruined her life as she knows it so there's no going back, but we cannot take her with us." Namjoon shouts. Seokjin ruined your life? How?

"Alright, I've had it!" You scream, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room. "Somebody tell me what's going on before I lose my fucking mind!" Everyone stares at you in shock, Namjoon only smirking St your outburst. "Fine. I'll cut to the chase. We're all vampires that hold parties all over the world in order to feed. This was one of the parties and you happened to be invited. We have a few rules, however. We only go for people that are alone, so that no one suspects they're missing. You were one of those people, and it seems Seokjin had his eye on you. You're different though. Out of everyone there, we could all smell you. Your blood is pure, you are pure. The first virgin we've come across in a while. Another rule is that whenever we come across a virgin, whoever found them brings them to me. The leader always gets the virgins. But Seokjin broke this rule. He broke another rule too. No turning anyone." Namjoon explains. Turning? Does he mean-

"What do you mean 'turning'?" You ask. Namjoon sighs, shaking his head. "Seokjin had turned you into one of us. A vampire." He says. Your eyes widen, not knowing whether to believe this or not. You turn to Seokjin, and his head is buried in his knees, his shoulder shaking. A vampire. A room full of blood-thirsty vampires, and you were now one of them. "I'm a vampire?" You ask silently. "Namjoon please, let's just take her with us. Without our help she's gonna turn into a Wither." Taehyung says. Namjoon looks back at you, thinking. "Give me time to think about it. For now, let's clean up Hoseok's mess." He says before turning on his heel. Everyone follows suit except you and Seokjin, who is still shaking on the floor.

"Seokjin..." You call out to him softly. He looks up at you, tears staining his cheeks. "Oh my God." You gasp, seeing the fingerprints around his neck. You run over to him, kneeling on the floor before him. "Y/N, I'm so sorry. I took your life away. This is all my fault." He sobs. You think about his words. Can you really not go back to your normal life?

Your whole world has changed, just because of your decision to come here. You could've stayed home, spent the night with your wine and your books. The one time you decided to let go and be a little reckless, it cost you your life as you knew it. "Seokjin, can I ask you a question?" You ask softly. He nods, and you sigh deeply. "Why? Why did you turn me?" His lip quivers at he question, and he takes a deep breath before gathering the strength to answer. "Y/N, I, I know we only met tonight, and have barely talked, but, you just, feel, different, than anyone I've ever met. There's something special about you. A connection between us. I've lived many, many years, and never have I ever met someone like you. I know, I'm not making sense right now, it's just a feeling. Dancing with you tonight, I knew my mission for the night, but then when I was, you know, I couldn't fully go through with it. I couldn't lose you. It was selfish and I'm so sorry that I did this to you."

You know he's being sincere, your connection to him you felt before even stronger than when you were dancing. Your thumb strokes over his bicep, a soft smile on your lips. "It's okay. I mean, I didn't really have much going for me anyways. No friends or family around, dead end job, maybe you helped me." You tell him. He sniffles, looking down at the ground. "I still shouldn't have been so selfish. You had no control, no choice." He whispers. Maybe you won't be able to convince him. He may learn by actions, not words. The only way he'll understand is if you show him that it's okay.

As the door opens up, you realize you don't have time to do that right now. "Well, I've decided. She'll come with us. However, she stays with me." A deep voice says from behind you, Namjoon smirking at the two of you. Your eyes flicker between the two men, Seokjin's mouth hung open in shock. "B-But why does she have to stay with you? I'll be okay, I'll make sure she doesn't get in trouble." He stutters, standing up. "I met her tonight, I did this to her, she's my responsibility."

"No." Namjoon's voice so deep it reverberates through your whole being. "You fucked up, Seokjin. You don't get to hold responsibility over her. You were selfish, reckless, and this is the punishment. From now on, she stays by my side. She does not leave my side. You do not talk to her." Namjoon stalks over you to you, tilting his head to the side as he curls a finger under your chin. "From now on, she's my pet." He smirks.

You smack his hand away violently, glaring at him as he rubs his arm. "Like hell I'm gonna listen to you. I don't even know you, and now you think I'm just gonna do whatever you say now? Who do you think you are?" You shout. A hand grips your jaw tightly, the mysterious leader looking down on you intimidatingly. "A feisty one. I like it. Not my type, but I just have to break you in, that's all. Hoseok, shut her up." He calls behind him, his eyes locked on yours. He has no actual control over you, no connection like Seokjin has, but his mere presence, his power, had you almost kneeling. Almost.

You open your mouth to defy, but something pops into your mouth, a small ball, and a collar attached to it is wrapped around your head. Your eyes widen as you're unable to close your mouth, or even speak. A ball gag. Did they really just have this laying around or with them at all times? You try to speak, the only noises emanating from you being strained groans and gurgles. "Perfect. That oughta shut you up for now." Namjoon smirks, patting your cheek. "Maybe I'll keep this on you when I take your virginity."

"No! You can't-" Seokjin runs at him, but is cut off by a large backhand against his cheek, the hand that was just on your own cheek, as if he was just a small fly and Namjoon was the swatter. "As I said, Seokjin, you hold no power. Come. Hoseok and Yoongi, you're in the car with me. Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung. I trust you to take care of the bodies. Take Seokjin with you." Namjoon commands. You look to Seokjin, whose still knealt on the floor. The sadness on his face, the defeat, you wish desperately to hold him, to tell him everything is going to be alright. Everyone nods, and Namjoon grabs your hand, pulling you out of the room. You try your best to call back to Seokjin, but all that comes out is gargled whines.

You pass by a few people, and try to call out to them, but just a glare from Namjoon has them silent, ignoring your muffled cries. The grip he has on your wrist is tight, and you have no doubt you'll have a bruise. He pulls you all the way out to a pair of awaiting, black cars, and he rounds the car to open the door for you, putting you in the passenger seat. The back doors open, Hoseok and Yoongi climbing in as Namjoon climbs into the driver's seat.

The car ride is tense in the front seat, the men in the back seat chatting away about their night. From what you've heard, he brought the gag you were wearing. He was planning on using it but apparently "her mouth was so fucking good" that he let her scream while he fucked her before he killed her. A tear rolls down your cheek as you think back to earlier in the night. That could've been you. You were talking to him before Seokjin swooped in. Seokjin. Your supposed knight in shining armor. Is he okay? You can't help but worry about him. Was Namjoon always so harsh with everyone? If so, you're scared of what he has in store for you.

Namjoon takes a turn down a dirt road, the path shrouded by trees, blocking the moonlight. Through the dense foliage, in the distance you see a large metal gate. Namjoon presses a button ad you approach the gate, and it slides open, allowing the car to pass through. A long driveway leads to a large house that make you feel insignificant in size. It's a lot nicer than the venue of the party, the dark elegance of it giving off a sort of foreboding feeling, as if when you step through the front door, you'll be doomed for eternity.

A garage door opens, and Namjoon pulls the car into it, and it's fairly large. He parks and turns off the car, the men climbing out of the back. "Come on. Follow me." Namjoon says to you, opening the door for you. You glare at him before reluctantly climbing out, following behind him as he leads you into the house. It's gorgeous to say the least. For a group of vampires, the flooring and walls are fairly bright. Eggshell walls garnished with intricate paintings, white marble floors, it was bright, but cold.

"Follow me please." Namjoon says, ascending the grand staircase. You decide to follow him, figuring it'd be best not to find out what would happen to you if you disobey. You're in their territory now, their domain. They have the upper hand. They could catch you and kill you before you can even think of a way out. You bunch up your dress, careful not to trip up the stairs. Maybe if you're obedient he'll take this stupid gag out of your mouth. You can barely swallow with it on, you're constantly wiping drool from your chin.

You're lead up to the third floor, the top floor, up to a dark oak door. Namjoon stops, hand on the doorknob. He turns it, revealing a large, dark room. The walls are painted a deep maroon, a king sized bed with plush pillows and a midnight duvet draped over it, neatly made. You're surprised, the room seems dark, but kind of cozy. That changes when you see a large, mahogany cabinet in the corner of the room, an intricate dragon carved into the top. You raise an eyebrow at it, and he chuckles deeply, noticing your reaction.

He stands behind you, moving your hair to the side and unbuckling the gag. You sigh in relief as you close your mouth, your jaw aching after being kept open for so long. He tosses the gag on the dresser, and you reach up to sooth your jaw. You stand there awkwardly, looking around, wondering what you should be doing. What was Seokjin doing? Somehow, you knew he was far away, but it felt like he was getting closer. Is he ok? Will he be here soon? Caught up in your own thoughts, you barely realize he's undressing until you hear the clink of his belt.

You shift uncomfortably as he sits on the bed, smirking over at you, his shirt unbuttoned. He does the come hither motion with his fingers, and you raise your eyebrow at him, shaking your head. "Y/N, is it? Do you realize the situation you're in?" He asks, a seemingly playful glint in his eye. You gulp, avoiding his gaze. Where is Seokjin? You desperately wish he was here right now. The feeling you have, he seems closer now, getting closer by the second. It's probably just your desire to be around him that's causing the feeling, wanting him to swoop in and save you again.

Namjoon gets up, stalking towards you, and you slowly back up. "Right now, you are in my room, in my house, surrounded by dangerous men that are under my control. You may not be under my control, but I have no doubt that in time, you will submit to me." He says, backing you against a wall. He has physical power over you, but you are in no way connected to him, and refuse to give into whatever he's trying to do. You try to turn away, but he grabs you by the waist, picking you up and carrying you over to the bed. You cry out, writhing in his grasp as he flips you onto your back, pinning you to the matress as he looks over you. "You're mine now. You will stay by my side, and you will not disobey me. Do you understand?" He asks, leaning his head down, his lips hovering over your neck. Was he going to try and bite you? Is he about to kill you?

His hands slide down your body, pushing the hem of your dress to bunch at your hips. He wraps your legs around his waist, and you've never been more uncomfortable in your life. You try to squirm your way out, writhing and hitting and shouting, but he just pins your arms above your head. "The less you move, baby, the less this will hurt." He smirked. 'Please. I don't want this. Seokjin, please help.' You think to yourself, closing your eyes and preparing for the worst.

Before anything more can happen, there's a soft knock on the door, Namjoon groaning at the interruption. "What is it?" He calls out, clearly annoyed. "Namjoon, please, can we talk?" A soft voice asks through the door, and the mere sound of it has you sighing in relief, much to Namjoon's disapproval. "You," He says to you, teeth grit "don't get to say anything to him." He warns. You hate him. You want to talk to Seokjin so bad. You wanted to know what's actually going on, you wanted him to help you. "Come in!" Namjoon shouts, climbing off of you to sit next to you, your body still sprawled out and disheveled.

The door creaks open, and Seokjin steps in, dirt staining his elegant clothing. As soon as he walks in he sees you laying on the bed, your dress up and your legs open, a tear rolling down the side of your face as you look at him, and at that sight, something takes over him. "You son of a bitch." He growls before charging at Namjoon. You move before they topple over you, standing and watching the brawl as they both fall from the bed to the floor. Everything moves so fast you can barely tell what's going on until they stop rolling, Seokjin on top of Namjoon, repeatedly connecting his fist with his face. You do nothing but look in horror.

Someone must've heard the quarrel because a young man with dark hair comes rushing in, pulling Seokjin off the leader. More men flood in, and it takes three to hold Seokjin back. A vein on his neck protrudes, his face red from rage. Namjoon groans as he gets up, rubbing his damaged face. "Why the hell would you do that?" Seokjin cries. "You have no right to take her virginity! It's not your decision to make who she gives it to!" He shouts. That's what he's mad about? He thinks Namjoon took your virginity?

Namjoon chuckles, standing up and leaning against the bed, rubbing his bruised cheek. "Look at her." He says simply. "Smell her. I didn't take anything." He shrugs nonchalantly. Everyone looks at you, and you're still embarrassed at your disheveled appearance, even though your dress had fallen back down, you still felt dirty from him trying to take advantage of you. "He's right." You croak, and all eyes turn to you. "He tried, but he didn't actually do anything." "See? I told you. I didn't do anything." Namjoon shrugs proudly.

"Just because you didn't go all the way with her doesn't mean what you did was right." Seokjin says, pulling out of the men's grasp. He's fuming now at how easily Namjoon brushed off the situation. "Stand down, Seokjin. I told you before. You have no power in this situation." Namjoon smirks. He stands up, straightening his clothes out. He stands in front of Seokjin, trying to tower over him intimidatingly, but it doesn't work. Seokjin straightens out, and he's about the same height as Namjoon, not backing down. "Namjoon, I think we both know that that's isn't true." He smirks. He seems different somehow, more courageous then at the venue.

"Y/N, come here." Seokjin says, holding his hand out to you. You avoid looking at Namjoon as you take Seokjin's hand, standing close to him. A loud chuckle startles you, and Namjoon stands there, a smile on his face. "So that's what's going on, huh?" He chuckles again. A round of mumbles sounds throughout the room, and you notice all the other men are just as confused as you are. "Well fine then. Why don't we make a deal?" Namjoon asks. "Since you're no longer loyal to me by connection, if you stay loyal to me out of your own free will, you can have your little toy."

You look up at Seokjin, whose glaring at Namjoon. "I stay loyal to you professionally. What I do in my free time is out of your control." Seokjin adds. Namjoon smiles, holding his hand out. "It's a deal then." Namjoon smirks, shaking Seokjin's hand. "She's too squirmy anyway. I couldn't do anything unless I tied her up. Which, I wouldn't have minded." Namjoon winks at you. "Come on, Y/N, let's get you to where you'll be staying." Seokjin says softly, wrapping his arms around your waist. Everyone watches in shock as he simply walks out of the room with you, Namjoon grimacing at Seokjin's newfound bravado.

Seokjin brings you to a room, and it's a lot cozier than Namjoon's room. The walls are painted a soft blue, a queen sized bed tucked into the corner of the room, a TV sitting on top of the dresser and a desk with a computer against the wall. It feels warm and inviting, and you sigh in relief as you finally don't feel a darkness looming over you. You look over at Seokjin, whose ruffling his hair, leaning against the desk. "Y/N, what did he do to do to you?" The worry and hurt on his face saddens you.

"Um, he really didn't do much. They gagged me and brought me here, then he took the gag off and put me on the bed and slid my dress up and laid on top of me and pinned my arms and then you came." You explain, shifting awkwardly on your heels. It doesn't seem like a lot when you say it out loud, but to you, it felt like everything. Before you know it, a strong pair of arms wrap around you, and Seokjin holds you in his embrace. "I'm so sorry." He mumbles.

"He's not gonna do that to you anymore I promise." He says, leading you to sit down on the bed. You feel safe with him. You feel like you can finally breathe again. "Seokjin." You whisper, looking at the ground. "Yes, my dear?" He asks. He's still so charming, even in this situation. "What exactly is going on? What did Namjoon mean by 'loyal by connection'?" He sighs, scooting back to sit against the wall, and you turn to face him.

"Well, let me think on how to explain it." He says, looking off in the distance. You nod, waiting for him to say something else. "So, you feel the thing, right? The connection between us? I know in the car, I could feel exactly where you were, how far away you were. Did you feel that?" You nod, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "Well, we call that a tether. It connects a master and their follower. A follower is someone who was turned, and whoever turned them is their master." He explains.

"So, you're my master?" You ask. The title seemed strange to you, but it made sense. "That's right." He said. "I was Namjoon's follower. He turned Hoseok, Yoongi, and I. All the guys in the house are his followers." "Wait," you interrupt "what about the other three guys?" "Oh, well, they were following another vampire, an enemy of Namjoon. Namjoon killed him, and once a vampire kills another, the killer becomes the new master. So, the younger ones became tethered to Namjoon." You nod in response.

"There are ways to break a tether. One of the main ways is if a follower turns someone, and becomes a master. Once a follower becomes a master, they are no longer tethered to their master, and are no longer loyal. That's why 'no turning' was are main rule, and I broke it tonight with you." He explains. "So, you're not tethered to Namjoon anymore, so you're not under his control anymore?" "That's right." He nods. "And we have the tether, the connection, so I'm loyal to you." You think out loud. "What exactly does that mean? Do I have to follow your orders or do everything with your permission or something like that?"

"Oh, no no no." He shakes his head. "I won't be controlling. You can do pretty much whatever you want, I won't make you do anything you don't want to like Namjoon does." He promises. "You can do whatever you want. The only thing I ask is for you to not go near Namjoon. I don't trust him anymore. I made a deal with him to only stay loyal through our business, but other than that, I would rather stay as far away from him as possible."

"I promise, I won't go near him. I'd rather stay away from him anyway." You say, looking to the side. "Hey." He says, placing a finger under your chin and gently turning your head to face him. You look into his sad eyes, and he smiles, cupping your cheek with his large hand. "Are you sure you're okay?" He asks softly. You nod, relaxing into his touch. It feels good here, like you belong here. What is this feeling? Is it because of the tether? The connection? Or is it something else?

"I'm sorry I pulled you into all of this. I'm glad you're not hurt though." He smiles. "Don't be sorry. My life kinda sucked anyway." You giggle, leaning back against the wall next to him. "I still took your life away. I don't know anything about your life and I took away everything you had." He frowns. You turn to face him, grabbing his hand. "I'm a twenty-three year old mail room sorter that lives alone in a studio apartment, has no friends or close family, not even a pet. I went to that party to change up my routine, take a risk. Now, apparently, I'm a vampire with a very handsome master in the most beautiful house I've ever been in. I don't think you ruined anything." You smile.

"You think I'm attractive?" He asks, smirking and raising an eyebrow. "That's the part you focus on?" You laugh, and he shrugs. "I wasn't sure if you actually thought I was cute or if you just wanted a hook up." You roll your eyes. "Well, I definitely could've met someone ugly. Plus, I'm not exactly one for hook ups, obviously." "So, you don't mind staying here?" He asks. You shake your head, smiling. "I'd love to."

"That's great." He smiles, and it really is the most beautiful smile you've ever seen. The way his plump lips curve, he pearly white teeth exposed. You look at his lips, desperately wanting to feel them on your own. You remember how it felt earlier, and your breath starts to get heavy as you think of what more could've happened if he didn't bite you. Maybe things would've gotten-

"Oh, you're still in your dress." He says, interrupting your thoughts. "Why don't you borrow some of my clothes for tonight and we can go buy you some clothes tomorrow? Or we can even go pick up clothes from your place if you'd prefer that." He suggests. He could order you to do anything he wanted, yet he was very sweet about everything, making sure you don't feel under his control. "I think I'd like my clothes." You nod. "Alrighty then. Tomorrow night we'll go out and get your clothes." He nods. Right. You probably can't go out in the sunlight anymore.

He gets up, going to his dresser and grabbing a shirt and some sweatpants for you. "Here. You can wear these for now." He smiles, handing you the clothes. You get up and take them, smiling your appreciation before going into the bathroom to change. The bathroom is pretty neat, towels neatly folded on a rack, things nicely organized. You slide your dress off, and go to look in the mirror, and realize something strange. Aren't vampires not supposed to see themselves in mirrors? The thought partially leaves you as you see two small, reddish-purpleish dots on your neck. You lean closer, examining the marks carefully. They aren't too noticable, small with only slight bruising. Makeup would be able to cover it right up.

You get dressed and walk back into the room to find Seokjin also dressed in sweatpants, but no shirt, his broad shoulders and toned torso on full display to you. You don't realize you're staring until he walks over to you, smirking and tilting your head to look him in the eyes. "You know, normally it's rude to stare, love." He smirks. "But, you can stare as long as you want." A small gasp leaves your lips, and he chuckles at your reaction. He pulls you close, his body cold to the touch, but you don't mind it. You look at his chest, your small hands running over the skin delicately as his arms wrap around you.

"Y/N..." He trails off, licking his lips. You look up at him, and his face looks soft and tender, but his eyes look darker. "I'm sorry I kinda ruined things earlier. If I didn't, you know, would you have done, things, with me?" He asks. Your eyes widen, surprised that he seems a bit nervous. All you can do is nod, and he raises his eyebrows. "Would you have let me be your first?" You nod again, and he smiles. "Would you still let me do that?" Another nod from you has him as bouncy and giddy as a kid in a candy store.

Did he mean to do this right now? You lick your lips nervously, looking to the side as you wonder if you'd really be okay with doing that now. Seokjin seems to catch on, rubbing your back soothingly. "Hey, we don't have to do it now. Just let me know whenever you're ready. I'll take care of you. Okay?" He speaks softly, and you nod, thankful for his understanding. "Thank you." You whisper. He pulls you closer, slouching to hug you tightly, and you do the same, stretching to wrap your arms around his neck.

You yawn, and he chuckles, looking at the clock on his nightstand. "I guess it is pretty late. Or, early I should say." You pull back to look, and it's seven am. "I think it's bedtime, don't you think, darling?" He asks, and you nod. "Um, if you don't wanna sleep on the bed I have a-" "I wanna sleep in the bed, with you." You interrupt, and he smiles. "Alright then. Which side do you want?" He asks.

You think about your own apartment, the way your bedroom is set up. You don't worry about anyone coming over and spending the night, so your bed is also against the wall. Next to the wall was your favorite way to sleep. "Can I sleep next to the wall?" You ask softly. He nods, placing his hand on your back. You smile, climbing onto the bed and making your way to the other side of the bed. You slide under the covers, and everything is so comfortable, you almost fall asleep immediately. He chuckles, turning off the light and climbing in after you. It's dark, so you can't see anything, but you can feel him next to you.

You face the wall, feeling comforted by how normal feels. He shifts around, his arm slipping under your pillow, but he doesn't move close to you. For some reason, you're thankful for this. You've never cuddled with anyone or anything, so you're thankful he's keeping his distance for now. It might not be so bad to cuddle someone though. What does it feel like, to be so close to someone? In due time, you're sure you'll find out. For now, you drift to sleep, thankful for how kind he is.

[fromheroestodust]

Rose Killer: Pt.6; Vampire-ish Gala and a Posing Couple

Summary: You're the leader of the strongest mafia in London. What will happen when you're forced to team up with your worst enemy?

Warnings: violence, language

Word count: 2542

A/N: taglist is open!

"Hey Haz!" Tom's voice says from nearly in front of the door in the hall. Panic grips at both of you as Harrison jumps to his feet and helps you up, you quickly running to the bedside table to pretend you were cleaning up a game.

"Haz do you-" Tom starts, walking into the room before stopping. "Oh, hey Y/n...?"

“Hi.” you reply, a blush spreading across your cheeks as you put the lid on the box before walking towards the two, awkwardness and confusion already thickening the air as you bite your lip out of nerves.

“Well, anyway we have an event to go to." He says, giving a what are you doing here stare. “All of us.”

“Okay. When?” Harrison asks whilst scratching the back of his neck, a nervous habit you've seen him do before many times before.

"Now."

A surge of panic runs through you and definitely shows on your facial features. “What?! Seriously you asshole!” You yell, rushing to your room down the hall to get dressed and to get a new rose, still cursing at Tom as you walk through the doorway and into your own closet.

"Why the fuck was she in here so early?" Tom asks Harrison from the front of the bathroom as he gets ready for god knows what kind of event, the energy of the moment wearing off and tiredness setting in.

"I accidentally grabbed a few of her papers from yesterday." He quickly fibs, turning away from the mirror. "By the way, what type of event is this?"

"It's sort of a party." Tom states, a mischievous grin on his face as he runs a hand through his hair.

"Okay...? And the theme?" Harrison asks slowly, suspicion creeping into his thoughts as he turns away from the mirror and towards his friend.

"Uh... It's like a vampire style I guess." Tom shrugs. "By the way, we're not actually leaving for another two hours. See you in the car."

"You're suck an asshole." He smiles as the brunette walks out of the room to get ready himself, Harrison picking up his phone off the desk.

Haz: you have two hours. The theme is vampire-ish.

You: thanks!

You rummage through your closet, having added a few or more items before landing upon perfect dress, a smile splitting your face. Black fabric with a deep v-neck, floral lace sleeves and a long, flowy bottom that drags on the floor. You style your hair in a high pony with all your baby and shorter than other hairs out, perfectly framing your face in a messy but put together style. After putting on blood moon lipstick with black eyeshadow you walk out of your room, a black baccara rose tucked behind your ear.

"Oh, wow." You state as you see Harrison walk out of his room. "Snazzy Hazzy."

"Oh shut up." He grins, taking in your features sending butterflies through his stomach and a smile to form on his face. "You look absolutely stunning."

"As do you." You say, giving him a toothy smile while taking his hand in yours. "So what exactly are we supposed to be doing at this vampire party? Rather than drinking blood of course."

"Using my words, aye?" Harrison says after catching up with you and stepping into the ground floor.

"I've no clue. Tom's keeping most of the details discreet." He sighs, eyes still searching you up and down as he takes in the details of your dress. "Take a picture. It'll last longer." You smirk before walking around him and down the stairs, leaving him behind slightly shocked.

"Last time I checked you didn't come up with that saying." You smirk. "Anyway, who's all coming with us?"

"It's us, Tom, Harry, and Sam." He answers, leading the way into the living room.

"Oh, Y/n!" Tom's mum says as she steps into the room. "You look wonderful! So do you Harrison!"

"Thank you." You both smile, turning to face her with your shoulders pressed against each others.

"The other three are in the car. You can go ahead out." She informs you, a hand on your shoulder with a warm smile.

"Okay. We'll see you later." Harrison says before leading you out the door and into the waiting car.

"Finally." Harry breathes as you both sit down in the back, you in between Tom and Harrison as you drape the seat belt across your waist.

"Blame Tom for not telling us we have a party today and telling me two fucking hours beforehand." You hiss, glaring at Tom who sits with a smug grin.

"I could've made it one hour."

"Then we would've been late."

"Okay, okay." Sam intervenes, hands in your direction. "Let's try to be mature."

"Rich coming from you." Tom says under his breath before talking at an average volume, "We're going to be taking Luke Shmidt back with us. He owes stuff to both of us. Oh, and you and Haz'll be posing as a couple."

"What?!" You both exclaim, turning to face him with the blood draining from your own face leaving your skin as pale as a ghost.

"Yeah." He confirms nonchalantly. "It'd look weird if it was just a five person group walking around looking over the crowd."

"Won't people know who we are?" You groan, having to grab both of your hands to stop yourself from punching Tom in the face or throwing him out of the car. Or both.

"It's mostly Americans coming. And they're lower ranked so they most likely won't be to concerned with international high ranked mafias." He explains ignoring Harrison's still stunned expression.

"What makes you think you get to boss me around on these missions? We're teamed up, not like my mafia is all yours." You quip, your jaw clenched and your hands curled into fists.

"I'm the one who found out where he was and that he was going to this gala. So I'm taking charge." He states simply, ending the argument much to your displeasure.

"You'll pay Holland." You hiss before putting your back against the seat with your arms crossed over your chest.

"Oi, Haz, you finally have a girlfriend." Sam grins.

"Shut up." Harrison sighs while sticking up his middle finger at the younger boy, snickers running through the car as you're driven to who knows where in a situation you didn't imagine possible.

-

Your group walks into the dimly lit hall, you walking closely to Harrison as two men with dark glasses and suits open the large doors for you. There's a lot of loud talking going between men in highly detailed black suits, all with American accents.

As you step into the room, you notice many of their gazes scan you up and down, most with hunger but some with surprise. Harrison's hand protectively goes to sit on your shoulder as he sees their gazes, signalling for them to back off.

"Don't forget," Tom whispers, leaning his head in between you and Harrison causing his hand to jump away. "You're supposed to be a couple."

"I'm going to kill you." You hiss as he backs away with a satisfied smirk.

Your body tenses slightly when a hand is placed on your shoulder blade as your small group makes its way through the crowds and to the bar, grins finding themselves on all the Holland's faces.

You feel very out of place posing as a couple. instead of being able to hunt for your target and lure them away with your looks, you have to stay tagging along with Harrison the whole time, not being able to make any moves or it'll be to suspicious. While this whole thing is going against your natures, you oblige to your circumstance. Maybe because you're actually dating Harrison, or maybe it's because you're taking it on as a challenge. Whatever the reason, you take it with only a small fuss.

"Would you like a drink?" The bartender asks as you take a seat on one of the stools and turn it to face him, menu in hand.

"Blue Hawaii please." You request, the man behind the counter nodding before walking away to make the cocktail.

"Hello there." A man with long, jet black hair smirks from beside you causing you to turn the chair again to look at him.

"Hi." You reply, analyzing his features to try to find out if he's important or not and whether it's worth the effort to talk.

"You look stunning." He continues, a hand reaching out onto your thigh through the slit of your dress sending an uncomfortable chill up your spine. "Why don't we get out of here and go back to my car."

"Not unless you're wanting to come back to ours." Harrison says as he comes up next to you with a stern look on his face, placing his hand on the small of your back extinguishing the chills running through you and replacing it with warmth.

"Why do I need your permission to get my own pleasure?" The man hisses, fingers digging into your skin enough for you to know there will be a bruise later.

Harrison moves to make a response but you place a hand on his chest. "No, why does he? His pleasure is my pleasure, right?" You say before turning to the waiting man, leaving a hurt and confused Haz. You ignore the blondes expression and take the the black haired mans hand in your own, a shit eating smirk on his face. That is until you twist his arm and pin it behind his back, your lips just barely grazing his ear. "I'm not your toy. And I'd suggest you don't talk that way to my boyfriend." You push him away allowing him to run away without a look back while cradling his arm like it was his first born.

"I can handle myself." You smile, turning to face Harrison whos face was painted with surprise. "What, were you getting jealous?"

"Course not." He instantly replies, an arm snaking around your waist to pull you closer to him, "I just don't like seeing people have their hands on you when you obviously don't like it."

"Well I have bad news for you." You sigh, one of your hands finding itself on his chest. "Your hand is on me."

Harrison gives a small sigh of relief, a grin taking over his features, "Well you seem okay with it."

"Fortunate for you." You smile. "Also fortunate for us, we're posing for a couple."

"Lucky us." Repeats Harrison as you pull away from him, him plants a chaste kiss to your temple before walking towards Tom, Sam, and Harry with your drinks in hand, an arm lightly placed around your waist.

"You two are fitting into your role nicely." Tom comments as you stop in front of the group.

"Fuck yourself." You hiss with an unimpressed tone. "If it's to look more natural in this situation then 'm all for it. I already get looks being the only woman here."

"Noticed that. Speaking of looks, we've got an eye on the target. He's near the back right corner of the room." Harry informs everyone, straining his neck to look over the crowds in the dim room.

"What's our plan?" You ask whilst adjusting your dress and stealing a glance at the corner to see the man.

"We're going to wait til he's alone then lead him outside and bring him back with us." Tom answers. "Now, he's heading to the bathroom."

Everyone nods as if to confirm their next moves before Harry and Sam go to the left, Tom going straight, and you and Harrison going to the right. After making it to the entrance you use the back door while the other four make their way into the men's room. Another few minutes later they walk out with a man with an obvious beer belly and light brown hair, black eyes stricken with fear as you move to the waiting car.

-

"I don't care if you're on a low," you hiss, pacing back and forth in front of the bloodied man, your knuckles dusted in blue. "I want my money."

"I have it I just-" he starts before you stop him with a solid punch to the throat, cutting off his voice and causing him to go into another fit of coughs.

"There's no excuses. You borrowed Holland's and I money, you didn't give us money back." You continue, picking up your knife off of a small table. "So, your choice now is to either give me my money, or get the shit beaten out of you."

"I... Okay." He wheezes, head hanging low. "I'll give it back. Just let me go."

"That's not exactly how it goes, but I'm glad you obliged." You smirk before making the last stride to the chair, the warehouse filled with the mans screams of pain for the rest of the day.

"Hi." You smile as you walk into the nearly empty living room only containing Harrison, your hair wet from getting out of the shower that rid you of Leo's blood.

"Hi." He replies, pausing the television and turning to face you. "Wanna watch a movie?"

"Sure." You walk to the couch and quickly find your spot in his lap, his arms instantly wrapping around you to hold you against him. "What movie are we watching?"

"Unfriended." He answers, logging into Netflix and going to the search icon, peering over your shoulder to see the screen.

"Horror movie." You state. "By the way, where's everyone else?"

"Some family reunion." Harrison answers. "Left bout an hour ago."

"So we have the house to ourselves?"

"Yup."

"In that case..." You trail off before laying down, bringing Harrison with you so you're both laying on your sides, him behind you.

"What, are you scared?" Harrison laughs, arms tightening around you sending butterflies through your stomach and causing a smile to spread on your face.

"Course not." You say quickly. "You're just really warm and it's really cold."

"Yeah, okay."

He clicks the play button on the TV, the movie starting in a college classroom as you snuggle into Harrison ready to spend the next couple hours in comfort and peace.

You let out a small squeak and jump as a girl pops up on the screen, pushing your back into Harrison's front and burying your face into his arm.

"Not scared, huh?" He laughs.

"Shut up." You grumble, pulling his arms tighter around you with your fingers laced in his, goosebumps spreading up your own arms.

As the movie progresses, Harrison falls asleep shortly followed by you. But what neither of you realized is the Hollands walking in the door and the shit storm you were about to cause