#'Monastery BaD they didn't teach him how to read'

[randomnameless]

And people still think Supreme Leader's whole spiel of "weak must be rely on themselves instead of others" is not social darwinism.

Which is even more ridiculous, all things considered given how heavily Supreme Leader herself relies on others - or the "gifts" she "received" from Uncle to launch her war or just - but well, we know how the game is regarding Supreme Leader.

There won't be any situation where she says this and someone, Dimitri or Dedue, ask her if she didn't rely on Hubert and her soldiers/generals to conquer Fodlan... And it's really frustrating, because we see glimpses here'n'there that she doesn't want to take Hubert for granted in their supports - so she knows he trusts and supports her... and yet we still have this nonsensical line.

Sure, Supreme Leader and Hubert can't reach those supports in AM since they're not playable, and that's the kind of artificiality I was berating FE16 for - if Billy didn't pick class X, members of class X will be in some sort of limbo where we don't even know, as a player, what kind of relationship they have with each other - bar the Lions who have lines for each others if one of them is killed, or mourn on screen.

Is Supreme Leader suddenly caring and wondering if Hubert follows her because he wants to and not because it's his duty - because Billy is her teacher, or Supreme Leader, when Billy isn't her teacher, dgaf about Hubert despite him being her right-hand man and more or less managing the war and the Agarthans? I'd say we're closer to the second option, given how she has no fucking line when he died, no mourning, no "they even defeated Hubert... No matter what, I cannot let them win!", nothing.

I mean, after Uncle's fireworks in Tru Piss, Dimitri mourns Rodrigue, Felix and Ingrid (if they weren't recruited). Tru Piss!Claude even doesn't understand and is pissed/upset/saddened because Hilda didn't retreat, Rhea laments the fall of Cyril and Catherine (in GM but not in her IO form for some reason?) and Seteth'n'Flayn's deaths...

Anyways, back to your ask, anon, we're not at the only one "for thee not for me" contradiction with Supreme Leader, but that's her mindset, only using part of what she went through (tfw the "Goddess" abandonned her by not rescuing her from Uncle... which is why she sides with Uncle to get rid of those pesky lizards and their goddess) to justify and motivate her conquest and imperialism in a few words : Git Gud.

Hell, it takes Ferdie's end supports in Tru Piss to have her realise that randoms cannot "Git Gud" if they don't have the means to "Git Gud"!

[pjshermann]

OHHH THIS LINEEEEE MOTHERFUCKER

Now, Sullivan said this in response to Jude telling him he was raised in a Catholic monastery by the Brothers. Since Harold's more liberal beliefs generally don't align with traditional Catholic ones (And Sullivan hates Harold—and his beliefs by extension), Sullivan says that Jude's upbringing might come into conflict with what Harold teaches him. And this is true, we see throughout the novel that the vestiges of Jude's Catholic-centered education does permeate into his belief system, which causes some arguments with Harold. While he might not be Catholic anymore, his upbringing still has some foundation in the way he approaches things.

Now Sullivan wouldn't mean it like this because he'd have no idea of knowing, but this line could also be read another way. What did the Brothers give Jude? They might have given him a well-rounded education, enough that he was far ahead of the other kids his age and went on to a prestigious college despite never formally attending school. But what else did they give him? Everything the Brothers told him, everything horrible, dehumanizing insult they filled his head with and made him believe that he was inhuman, disgusting, ugly, shameful, he is hated. That he was to blame for everything that happened to him because he was bad. Now compared to what Harold has always told him, has been constantly telling him, that he's smart, he's kind, he's beautiful, he's a good person, he's the most wonderful person he knows, he is loved. He has nothing to blame himself for, nothing to be ashamed of. The things Harold has been "filling his head with".

And yet, Jude believed the Brothers over Harold. What they gave him, his sense of self-hatred, was strong enough to "protect" against what Harold has tried to fill his head with instead. No matter how hard Harold tried, the belief system that the Brothers instilled into his head was too deeply ingrained to let Harold's words completely reach Jude.

The saddest part is that Harold kept trying. He never backed down. All the way until the day Jude died, he kept trying, hoping that maybe today Jude would finally believe him. But in the end, he didn't. His farewell letter showed that he died still believing what the Brothers told him. Harold's words never reached him. He could never get into Jude's head the way Brothers did.

[ottovonruthie]

A Little Life: Final Review

I copied over my review, and the italics parts are my new thoughts after letting this book sit with me for a few more hours. If you haven't finished reading the book, you might not want to read this, as there are some spoilers. Feel free to comment about your thoughts!

There are two types of readers for this book: those who love it and those who loathe it. Unfortunately, I am the latter.

This book receives a lot of praise for its beautiful writing, and I can understand why. However, I wish Hanya (the author) had done more with the story. The idea of introducing us to four friends, Jude, Willem, JB, and Malcolm, initially interested me as I thought I would get to see how their lives change throughout the book. But I feel cheated out of that experience.

Now, here comes the bad part.

This story is completely unbelievable, even laughable in its incredibility. Someone on TikTok described this book as "trauma porn," and I wholeheartedly agree and would call it that to this day. Let me explain why it's unbelievable. If we correctly form the timeline of Jude's life, it goes something like this:

He was abandoned at birth, taken to a monastery where he was molested and abused, then pimped out and molested by Brother Luke. Later, he gets abused and molested by counsellors, followed by a hitchhiking journey where he conveniently encounters only pedophiles, selling his body for a ride to Dr. Traylor, who causes spinal damage and also molests and abuses him again. If you think that's shocking, there's more. In the present-day timeline, despite struggling with immense trauma, Jude opens himself up to love and meets Caleb, who turns out to be another abuser and rapist. But it doesn't end there. After spending 100 pages discussing why Jude doesn't want to have sex due to his past trauma, Hanya forces a romantic relationship with Willem (after previously insisting that their friendship was platonic and joyful). This contradictory portrayal continues when Jude, who initially (and still) didn't want to have sex, ends up having a sexual relationship with Willem, creating another problem in the book.It raises the question of is it still consent if the person is just engaging in the act for your benefit but not because they truly want to?

Jude's relationship with JB is no better, with JB mocking Jude's disability and misreading a moment, leading to a kiss that Jude perceives as sexual assault. Do you see how implausible this is? It's not that bad things don't happen to people, but in Jude's case, it seems like only bad things happen.

This book is a mockery to anyone who has experienced sexual assault or abuse because it diminishes the authenticity of real-life experiences and seems to rely on shock value. I almost felt as if Hanya's thought process was that the more he gets assaulted, the more deserving he is of our love, and we should feel sorry for him. But no, this is not a competition of oppression when it comes to sexual assault. Getting assaulted once is already inhumane.

Another laughable aspect of this book is that Jude never attended formal school or received a proper education, yet somehow manages to get into college. Not to sound elitist, but come on now? Just off Brother Luke teachings?

Another problem with the book is its ableism and homophobia.

Ignoring the sexual assault aspect for a moment (I hate that I even had to type that), Hanya excessively plays on Jude's injury, portraying him as less than human, broken, and unlovable. This reinforces dehumanising perceptions of disabled people. However, individuals with disabilities, especially physical disabilities, do not hate their bodies every moment of their lives.She even does this with Willem's deceased brother! You can't just reduce disabled people to their disability. That's akin to reducing Harold to just being a man. There's no control over that.

Regarding homophobia, it's concerning that every romantic or sexual encounter Jude has with someone of the same gender results in them becoming an assaulter in his story. I thought we’d see some change with Willem and Jude, but that also led into this.This sends a troubling message that gay men are somehow wrong or problematic. But this book is advertised as pro-LGBTQ?

Now, moving on to the topic of self-harm. Jude engages in self-harm throughout the book, and while I understand that it's a real issue, especially for someone with trauma, it's disturbing that everyone seems to know about it but does little to help him. Even Andy, a licensed doctor, doesn't fully report it, only advising Jude to stop cutting. This lack of support from those around him is inconsistent and problematic, particularly when Andy later blames Willem for not being there for Jude when his self-harm worsens. It's Andy's responsibility as a doctor to provide appropriate care and support. Even Harold and Julia does this weird thing of doing the bare minimum to address it, you adopted this man, act like actual parents. 

Another aspect Hanya fails to analyse is that, as readers, we're supposed to feel sad or pity for Jude, but at times, it becomes apparent that he is also part of the problem. Dealing with trauma is undoubtedly difficult, and healing is not linear, but Jude's actions, including self-harm and suicidal tendencies, seem somewhat performative and manipulative, despite the support given to him by his friends. But maybe manipulative is not the best word to use here, it could be an oversimplification, but as I read a lot of the times he self harms, he essentially keeps people coming back to him?

The reason why this caught my eye was that originally, we are introduced to Jude as one of four characters. However, one of the other three characters also deals with trauma while interacting with Jude. Willem, who was one of the other three, copes with his own trauma stemming from being the perfect child his deceased parents wanted. He also had to form a relationship with his disabled deceased brother, whom his parents seemed to disregard. Seeing how Jude treats himself could act as a trigger for Willem, bringing up memories of his own unresolved trauma.

Witnessing Jude's self-harm and struggles could be emotionally challenging for Willem, forcing him to confront his own pain and perhaps triggering survivor's guilt. While Jude copes with his traumatic past and its consequences, Willem may grapple with complex emotions, considering that he is alive and his brother is disabled and deceased. This contrast might evoke feelings of privilege or survivor's guilt within Willem. Like does Willem ever randomly think would his brother would have pitied himself if he had a chance to grow into adulthood?  Unfortunately, Hanya doesn't provide us with further insights into this dynamic.

We know trauma is interconnected, but Hanya does such an abysmal job of connecting it. Exploring this connection would've added depth to the narrative and examined how relationships can be both a source of solace and distress in times of struggle, instead of simply portraying Jude as a figure deserving only of pity.

Was any of us actually surprised that Jude committed suicide? Hanya hinted at it in the earlier chapters, and many times throughout the book, Jude was referred to in the past tense. The saddest part about that wasn't even the actual deed; it was Harold believing he was the failure that caused it, and Hanya dragged us along for 800 pages.

Returning to my original point about the 4 main characters, the story falls apart around Part 2. Hanya takes a huge leap, where these four struggling college friends suddenly become top achievers in their respective industries without explaining how they got there. In addition, Malcolm just becomes a background character floating in and out, and at times I forgot about his character. There's a lack of character development, and they seem to remain mentally stagnant despite ageing 30 years. They’re basically battling at the same issues in this book with no new perspective as they get older. 

Just for guidance to anyone reading this, I'm not a novice when it comes to books about people struggling with mental health. However, I feel that this book doesn't accurately represent it well. If you're looking for a great book that does portray how trauma presents itself in one's everyday life, I recommend "The Vegetarian" by Han Kang. Han Kang is also another Asian woman author, so if you're interested in supporting and continuing to read Asian authors, she's a wonderful choice.

[fillingthescrapbook]

Rewriting The CW's Kung Fu, Part 1: The Characters

Hello. I've written a few posts complaining about how The CW's Kung Fu was written and plotted. So instead of just complaining, I decided to do something productive: I'm going to rewrite the show.

This will be the first part in an eight-part series that would detail the things, I think, could've made the first season much stronger in terms of story-telling and character-building. Do take note that I will be writing this for The CW's target market: teens to young adults who are looking for both entertainment and representation.

Before we start with the story, let us first start with re-configuring the characters.

NICKY SHEN, mid to late 20s. The eldest daughter of first-generation immigrants, she feels pressured into following the path made for her by her parents. She carries a lot of guilt, having seen her parents struggle to raise her and her siblings in a land that's not always welcoming to foreigners--and then running away when she felt like she no longer had control over her life. She has spent the last three years in a monastery where her days are spent training in the martial arts, meditating, and farming. Upon her return home, she doesn't know what her place is in the world--and in her family--anymore.

HENRY YAN, mid to late 20s. A martial arts instructor at the Chinese community center, he becomes intrigued by Nicky's unique background and insight into their community. A working student, he has only recently continued his collegiate studies because of a checkered past he needed to deal with, as well as his family's financial struggles. He feels like he has a lot to prove because of people's preconceptions of who he is, based on what he had to do to survive.

EVAN HARTLEY, mid to late 20s. A San Francisco Assistant District Attorney, he is Nicky's best friend from childhood to law school. He is part of a hiring initiative that prioritizes people who can speak in multiple languages, and gets assigned many cases that come from Chinatown. He has recently proposed to his girlfriend, a fellow classmate of his and Nicky's from law school, thinking he has finally moved on from being left behind by the woman he loved three years ago...and then she, Nicky, comes back into his life.

RYAN SHEN, mid-20s. Nicky's younger brother who has just recently finished his internship at a local hospital; he is currently working as a resident physician at the same hospital he interned for--while volunteering his free time at the Chinese community center's free clinic. He is gay but has yet to tell his parents the truth, blaming Nicky for abandoning him when he was just about to confess. (Yes, I put him back in the closet for storytelling purposes.)

ALTHEA SHEN, mid-20s. Nicky's younger sister has put her career on hold to get married to her high school sweetheart. A sought-after computer engineer, Althea has surprised everyone--her parents included--when she suddenly gave up her high-ranking position at Cloudrush Capital to focus on her wedding. She is the most adjusted and mature out of the Shen siblings, seeing as her parents didn't have as much expectations from her as they did Nicky and Ryan.

SHEN MEI-LI, late 40s to early 50s. Nicky's mother comes from a very strict family and this has made her guarded with her emotions. She is very protective of her children and will do anything to keep them safe--including hide parts of her history she thinks will lead them astray. She works as the manager of Happy Dumplings, the restaurant she built with her husband Jin.

SHEN JIN, early to mid 50s. Nicky's father immigrated to San Francisco when he was a young man, inspired by the American Dream. He has a go-getter attitude which was further bolstered when he married Mei-Li, pushing him to move on from being a line cook at a faux-Chinese fast food chain to opening his own restaurant. Having been denied of better opportunities, he works hard to make sure that his children never has to face the same challenges he had in the past.

Okay, those are just broad strokes of who the characters are when the story begins. I've upgraded Evan to becoming an actual main character with a romantic subplot with Nicky since, if I'm not mistaken, that was the intention when they introduced him in the pilot. I've also downgraded Pei-Ling Zhang, Nicky's mentor to a recurring character--who we will get to now:

ZHANG PEI-LING, early 40s. A female monk at a Shaolin monastery, Pei-Ling helps Nicky escape from an arranged-marriage "love" tour by allowing her to hide in her truck. Pei-Ling is in charge of the martial arts training at the monastery, teaching her students that to keep a strong hand steady, one must also have a strong heart.

ZHANG ZHI-LAN, mid to late 30s. A businesswoman whose worldwide travels hide an international hunt for eight mystical weapons that would give the collector untold powers. She is Pei-Ling's sister who holds a lot of resentment because of the way their family broke apart. She keeps a cold and calculating facade to keep people away from her, afraid of being vulnerable enough to get emotionally hurt again.

DENNIS SOONG, mid 20s. Althea's fiancée who is the heir apparent of the Soong business empire. He has the practiced charm of a high school outcast who was slow to grow into his looks; although he became part of the popular crowd by the time he graduated, he never forgot the people who treated him as an equal back when he was a societal pariah. He is also a loving son, brother, and husband-to-be.

JOE HARPER, mid to late 20s. A freelance graphic artist who uses his talents, and his gift of gab, to fight for human rights. He is passionate, headstrong, and he never backs down from a challenge.

CHLOE SOONG, late teen. Dennis's younger sister who has fallen in with a bad crowd of bored rich teens. She feels out-of-place in her parents' perfect world, which draws her towards Nicky--who identifies with her plight to break out of the mold assigned to her.

SABINE SMITH, mid to late 20s. A classmate of Nicky's and Evan's from law school, Sabine is Evan's fiancée. She is nurturing and helpful, she is the one who pushes Evan to help Nicky settle back into her San Francisco life--not realizing she is also pushing Evan's feelings for Nicky back into the picture.

KERWIN TAN, late 20s to early 30s. A young socialite who becomes part of Nicky and Zhilan's race to find the eight mythical weapons of power. He is the youngest son of a business tycoon, Raymond Tan, who is also interested in collecting the weapons. He resents the competitive upbringing his father has given him and his siblings, which makes him decide to also join the hunt for the weapons.

MEI-XUE, late 40s. Mei-Li's younger sister, she ran away from home after discovering their family's warrior lineage--wanting to be the one to find the mythical weapons so she could keep them from falling into the wrong hands. In her journey to find the weapons, she discovers more about the power they can wield--which scares her into hiding in the mountains of Canada, with the help of a rich friend she made in her journeys.

STANLEY ANG, early 30s. He is an original character that I wanted to include for additional Chinese diversity. The only son of an old couple who were Mei-Li's friends before she migrated. He is intelligent, very savvy, but isn't very fluent in English. He works as a software developer for a programming company who had him (and his parents) move to their US office so he could oversee the projects he manages better.

Kung Fu has a few more important characters they introduce, but I'm staying with the ones who will make an impact to the story I'm rewriting.

If you've read my past gripes about the show, you would know that I don't like the fact that Zhi-lan (and Kerwin, later on) was shoved into our throats even when their storylines didn't need to be told. That opinion remains. But it doesn't change the fact that they do make an impact to the story--especially with the finale the show left us with. So they're retaining their recurring status in my rewrite.

And this is where we end for now. In the next post, I will be rejigging the pilot to better set-up who Nicky is and what her relationships are at the start of the series.