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loki-hargreeves · 4 years ago

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Loki x Reader - Thanos controls You

Warnings: angst, mentions of torture, mind-control, fighting, choking, blood and gore, more angst (it's a lot ok)

Word Count: 5,8K

Summary: After failing to deliver the Tesseract, Loki has been living in fear that Thanos will one day find him again and seek revenge. You have been missing ever since Loki was imprisoned after what he did in New York. Little did Loki know that you were with Thanos all along. During the events of Infinity War, Thanos makes you battle Loki in order to obtain the Tesseract

Author’s Note: I know Thanos doesn’t have the mind stone at the beginning of Infinity War but it’s fiction and I’m gonna do what Marvel does best, ignore canon. Let’s blame the Other’s powers, okay? Please enjoy this angsty little thing! :)

YOUR POV

“There’s room for more!” Loki yelled over the cries of scared children and their crying families. There was no way he would send a half-empty escape pod on its way to Midgard. That’s when he saw a child all by herself a little further away. She was clinging onto the wall for dear life and the ship trembled due to the impact of getting shot at. Her parents were nowhere to be seen. Dead. Loki felt sick to his stomach when he knew they were most likely dead. Thanos’ children were slaying kids and their parents heartlessly and they had the audacity to say they were being rescued. That their deaths were part of something bigger than life itself.

They viewed Thanos as a god who was being merciful even when he ripped a beating heart out of someone's chest.

Loki’s heart clenched in his chest painfully. Before it would be too late, he made his way to the tiny child and picked her up carefully. She seemed to recognize the prince but she wasn’t afraid of him. Instead, she hugged Loki so she wouldn’t fall out of his grasp.

“Where’s mommy?” The girl sounded absolutely petrified.

Loki didn’t know what to say as he made his way to the pod. Once he reached it, he saw a woman by the entrance.

“You’ll be safe here,” Loki promised the child as he handed her over to the lady. That’s all he had time for as he returned to the corridor. A particularly loud blast made him stumble over his feet and he had to catch his balance by taking support from the metal wall. The lights flickered, which meant the electronics of the ship were injured. There was a strange smokey smell in the air, which lingered with the irony stench of blood.

Loki couldn’t believe this was happening. Had Thanos finally come for him? Or did Thanos somehow know of the tesseract? Either way, if Thanos succeeded, he would kill two birds with one stone. The thought of this being all his fault made Loki nauseous. Guilt was nibbling at his skin and he knew it would eat him alive in the end. He never wished for this to happen!

As he ran down the corridors frantically searching for Asgardians that needed help, he heard different kinds of cries. People were letting out guttural screams. Others were pleading for their lives. Listening to the massacre that was taking place was worse than any nightmare Loki ever recalled having. They were all drained after Ragnarok and now Thanos had found them. It was haunting how ruthless fate could be.

Footsteps began to approach Loki and they were awfully close. Too close for his liking. He was quick to grab his daggers and turn to face whoever dared try to sneak up on him. When he saw a familiar figure, he nearly dropped the blades from his hands. Seeing you there was like shock itself punched him in the face.

You were there, real and clear as day.

How long had it been since the last time he saw you?

Ever since Loki had found out about his true nature, his life had gone downhill. After he ended up with Thanos and went through pure hell with him, he had changed. During his time away from Asgard, he had only missed one person truly - you. You, who had been by his side through everything. You, who hadn’t loved him any less when you saw his deep blue skin and those crimson red eyes that in Loki’s mind resembled blood. You, who had seen him as the rightful king of Asgard when everyone else betrayed him. The light of his life, the angel that had cared for him even when he felt like a monster.

You, who hadn’t been on Asgard when Thor brought him back to face Odin in trial. Loki had spent a lot of time in his cell, alone. He waited for you to appear but you never did and no one ever told him why. They rather left him to drown in his own vicious thoughts. It wasn’t until Loki pretended to be Odin that he began to learn what had happened on Asgard during his exile.

The people at the palace loved to gossip. Some claimed you had stolen a ship and left Asgard behind for good, that living as Loki’s widow had been too hard for you. In Loki’s darkest hours, he wondered if you truly felt ashamed for being associated with him. So ashamed in fact, that you had left it all behind and started anew. Sometimes, he believed that, but it never stopped him from trying to find you. He had searched night and day but it seemed like you had vanished into thin air. It had killed him more every day living in the unknown. His only wish had been that you were okay.

Now there you were, looking like you had never left. In a moment of pure shock, Loki couldn’t even begin to comprehend how you appeared on the ship - seemingly out of nowhere. He was happy to see you, despite how appalling everything else was at that moment.

“Y/N,” Loki spoke your name softly and dared to blink. When you were still there as he opened his eyes, he felt goosebumps all over his skin.

You looked at him so innocently, but then he noticed that something was off. The look in your eyes was cold. You weren’t in your typical Asgardian gear. Instead, you were dressed in dark armour that Loki could��ve sworn he had seen before, but he didn’t know where. Nevertheless, it made him feel uneasy.

“It’s been a while, Loki,” You attempted a smile as you walked closer to him, your husband. It still counted since he had never truly died, right?

Loki didn’t stop you as you walked right up to him. His eyes never left yours. Part of him wanted to kiss you, to hold you and feel you were real, but the shrieks in the background reminded him of how dangerous everything was. The daggers disappeared from his hands and Loki held you by your shoulders. He needed to see that his hands wouldn't go right through you, that he hadn't lost it.

“You need to get off this ship, Y/N!” He told you seriously. There was profound fear in his voice.

Instead of being worried at all, you just smiled back at him.

That was so unlike you.

“Y/N, do you hear me?”

“Oh, I do,” You confirmed nonchalantly, “I’m not going anywhere. Not yet.”

A bloodcurdling cry startled Loki. They were coming closer and closer. The two of you wouldn’t be safe in that passageway for long. By now, his heart was racing with his thoughts. He felt panic settling into his bones.

Before Loki could say another word, you cupped his face rather gently. The fact that you didn’t seem disturbed by what was happening was eerie to Loki. He knew that you had a heart much bigger than anyone else he knew of. The version of you he remembered wouldn’t have been so calm. Something was terribly wrong.

“I need something,” You admitted and batted your eyelashes. Before, Loki would’ve found that quite adorable, but at that moment it was so wrong. He had been so ecstatic to see you and know you were alive, but now he almost wanted to run the other way.

“What?” Loki barely found his voice at that point. He felt sick and heartbroken. This had to be a nightmare, the worst kind.

“The Tesseract, Loki. I really need it,” You blurted it out.

Shivers ran down his spine. How did you know about it? Why did you even care? He was unsure if he could even trust you with the knowledge that he had it in his possession. Usually, he would’ve trusted you with his life without any hesitation, but you had been gone for years and returned like this, with bizarre motives.

You returned at the same time as Thanos and you were looking for the tesseract. Loki wasn’t a fool. He finally put two and two together and the realization was too arduous to believe. The idea of you and Thanos even meeting was something Loki could only see happening in his worst nightmares, but he was afraid it had already occurred. If so, he needed to hear it from you,

“Is Thanos making you do this?”

The tone of his voice seemed to offend you as you sent him a nasty glare. Your softness turned harsh and you pushed Loki against the metal wall with a loud thud. Before he could get out of the way, you grabbed your own dagger and pressed it against his neck so it was ever so slightly pressing against his exposed skin.

“He is not making me do anything. I am glad to serve the all-mighty Thanos. I won’t fail him, unlike you,” You snarled at Loki spitefully.

Never in a million years had Loki imagined this moment to happen. One where you would be fighting against each other. It was supposed to the two of you against the nine realms. Being held like that by the one person he loved more than anything was tearing his heart to shreds, but he tried not to show it.

Deep down, he knew it wasn’t truly you. He knew exactly what Thanos had done to you so you would act like this, and it only made it hurt so much more. It felt like someone was pouring salt into an open wound, and his entire body, heart and soul were wounded.

“Now give me the tesseract and we will be on our merry way,” You tried to obtain it again. This time you seemed more serious. Was it the tone of your voice or your weapon pressed against his pulse? Loki didn’t know.

“I don’t have it,” Loki lied as smoothly as he could because even thinking straight at that moment felt impossible. The world was caving in around him at supersonic speed.

You pressed the sharp edge of the blade closer to him, feeling how just a little bit more pressure would've broken his skin “You’re a great liar, my dear, but I know that’s not the truth.”

Loki didn’t want to fight you, but he didn’t see another way out. And it was good for him that you had learned most of the tricks from him. Your every move would be more easily predictable for Loki. He had to find a way to distract you.

“Why do you need it?” That was a foolish question. He knew damn well what Thanos would do if he got his dirty hands on the infinity stones.

“Why do you care?” You didn’t answer his silly question.

Suddenly, Loki grabbed your wrist tightly and yanked your arm to the side. He tried to be as gentle as he could, but Loki knew you wouldn’t go down without a fight.

At least your weapon fell out of your hand, but you knew how to defend yourself without it. So did Loki.

Loki tried to turn things around so he would have you pinned down against the wall, but you didn’t let him get that far. As he turned you around so your back was pressed firmly against his chest, you kicked your legs against the wall hard, pushing both of you back. Loki took the biggest impact as he fell on the floor, with you on top of him. Quickly, you rolled out of his grasp, turning around in one swift movement so that you were now sat on top of him, with your legs tightly against both his sides.

A powerful orb of magic grew above your fingertips and you brought it closer to Loki’s face - so close that he could feel the heat of your burning powers. The magic created an electric sensation on your skin. It felt like you pushed your fingers deep into warm sand. Toying with it was exhilarating, and seeing the astonished look on Loki’s face made it so much better. The green light of your powers cast light in his eyes, only deepening the look of disbelief that was painted all over him.

“It’s sweet that you’re trying not to hurt me,” You taunted him at that point, “but that doesn’t mean I won’t hurt you.”

“This isn’t you, Y/N,” Loki groaned. He was so sure of himself.

You tilted your head and smirked, looking at him like a cat would at a mouse. “I don’t know, Loki. It’s been a while,” You explained casually and leaned closer and closer to his face, stopping when your noses brushed against one another. By now, Loki was frozen on the spot. He was trying to come up with a plan and he felt hopeless.

“I’ve changed,” You whispered to him and felt tempted to kiss him, to taste him. Would you taste his fear? His heartbreak? You were sure it would taste sweet.

“The torture must’ve been painful,” Loki pushed his feelings aside. Yes, he felt like his heart had been ripped to shreds, but he had to do something. He had to surprise you, even if it would hurt. Words could hurt more than actions, and if Loki wanted to survive and to help you, he needed to reach the real you even if the only way to do so was cruel.

How did he know? You narrowed your eyes and surprisingly, found yourself waiting for him to continue.

"I was trained well."

"Trained?" Loki spat out harshly, "I know you're afraid. He has promised you something worse than the pain he has inflicted on you already. It won't happen. If you let Thanos continue his reign, he will not care about your loyalty!"

"Shut up!" That was too much for you. With tears brimming your eyes from anger, you put your hand over his mouth to silence him. He didn't budge and you didn't know why.

You pushed the memories aside. The painful memories of the time Thanos first found you. It was wrong to think of it as torture. No, he had shown you what you're truly capable of. It was training. Training to become a stronger person after the hell you endured on Asgard.

But now that you found yourself thinking about it, it seemed like the memories were all blurred as if you were looking into the past through a broken lens. Someone had spilt oil all over it and the pictures were warped.

"I know you have it," You needed the tesseract. "Give it to me and then this will all be over," you removed your hand from his mouth because it looked like he wanted to speak.

Loki knew that if he’d push you, your magic could burn him, but at the moment he couldn’t come up with another plan. He couldn’t just stay on the ground as people were being killed on the other side of the wall!

"Okay," Loki blurted out. Okay?

For a moment, he had you surprised which was the perfect distraction.

Loki grabbed your wrists tightly and pushed you to the side, but not quickly enough. You released your magic and it graced the side of his face, making him growl out either in pain or frustration - or both. The two of you rolled over and this time Loki was on top, holding your arms pinned above your head. You were trapped because of one mistake. You couldn't believe Loki had used the element of surprise to turn the situation upside down.

Furiously, you tried to kick your legs free, but he had you pinned down beneath him and Loki was strong. There was no point in squirming, you had to come up with another idea.

The two of you faced each other and Loki revealed his face and the damage you had done. Your magic had burned his skin and left a bloody cut on his eyebrow. It had just barely missed his eye. If he lived, it would surely leave a scar.

You flinched when a drop of his blood hit your cheek and it rolled down the side of your face.

"What are you going to do, kill me?"

Loki could never bring himself to kill you. He wouldn't be able to live with himself with your blood on his hands. No. He had other ideas. Loki remembered what it was like to be under Thanos' control. He remembered how much it hurt to even think about the torture. He had to remind you, he had to make you see that this wasn't the real you.

"This version of you, or I certainly hope so," Loki replied mysteriously. Before you could ask him to elaborate, Loki released your wrist and slammed the palm of his hand against your forehead. In a split second, you were in a different place - in your head. You could've sworn you heard him mutter "I'm sorry," before everything turned black.

It was hot, burning hot. Metal chains were attached to you and they were glowing red. Torching. You could only scream in pain as the metal sunk into your skin, your bones, your nerves. It felt like he had chained your mind and with the tiniest movement of his finger, he could make you do his dirty work.

He, Thanos, was sitting on his throne. He was the puppet master and you the puppet. He didn't look at you fondly. No. He was smiling as he watched you cry your lungs out, letting out animalistic growls as the pain got worse. It was so overwhelming that every once in a while, you would scream until you passed out. But every time, one of his children would be there to wake you up.

It was time for another round. And another. And yet another. Would it ever end?

Each time you tried to resist the chains, the strings that were sewn onto you and connected to his fingertips, it hurt more. Eventually, you learned that allowing the strings to tighten around you made it hurt less. It almost felt good, like a long embrace after a long day.

"I don't want to hurt you, my child."

Lies. You knew that all he said were nasty lies, but sometimes it was easier to believe lies than the truth.

"Make it stop!" You would beg him. How long had you been there?

You could remember Thanos touching your face gently, which was so comforting after everything you had endured. At the same time, it made you sick. You couldn't believe that the one who had caused you distress could have such a gentle touch.

"You're ready," Thanos had realized. The Other had appeared right before you and his fingertips were pressed against one another, making him look like he was deep in thought. You had no idea what they were doing, but the next thing you knew was that you no longer felt pain.

The chains, the strings, they were all invisible. It looked like you were free, but the weight of the metal was still pressed against your skin. Had you imagined it?

No,

Deep down you knew that the strings were still attached to you, but they had only made it seem like you had a choice.

"Excellent," The Other's voice surprised you. You merely blinked and you had returned to the vessel. Loki was above you and the Other was standing right there, "You found him."

The Other used his powers to push Loki off you. Shock had made your entire body numb and you couldn't scramble up to your feet. It felt like your limbs had been turned to stone and you were anchored to the floor.

Loki got up slowly with his arms raised in surrender. He was well aware of the powers the Other had and Loki wasn't going to fight him now. If he followed you for long enough, then maybe just maybe he could come up with a plan. Loki looked at you as you finally got up. As you stood next to the Other, you couldn't believe your legs carried you. Something was so wrong. You felt sick and you couldn't shake it off. It felt like something had snapped within you, but you didn't know what.

"He is waiting for you," The Other explained as he turned to walk away, most likely to wherever Thanos was waiting.

Loki had no choice but to follow, and you walked behind, making sure he didn't try to escape.

Why did Loki make you remember that? What did he think he would obtain with making you relive something so awful? It hadn't worked, right?

There he was. Thanos was standing by a hole that had been ripped into the side of the ship. Magic was keeping it sealed so the vacuum of space wouldn't suck everyone into it. But still, the emptiness of space wasn't frightening at all compared to the titan who was standing right there.

Loki swallowed thickly as he saw him again. It had been years but he remembered everything like it had happened yesterday. Seeing Thanos standing in the middle of the piles of bodies, in the room that smelled like smoke and blood, was sickening. Thanos hadn't just killed a part of Loki. He had just slaughtered these innocent Asgardians with the help of his so-called children. He had taken you.

He will make you long for something as sweet as pain

Loki closed his eyes and took a deep, shaky breath. They had stayed true to their threats.

"I know what it’s like to lose," Thanos turned around now that he knew Loki was there. At long last. Thanos had not forgotten what Loki had failed to do, and Thanos was a man of his words.

"To feel so desperately that you’re right yet to fail, nonetheless," Thanos continued dramatically and slowly made his way closer to Loki. He saw Thor on the ground, bloodied and weak. The brother of Loki. As tempting as the idea was to torture Thor right in front of the god of mischief, Thanos had different plans. If there was only one way Loki would ever give him the tesseract, it was going to be in order to save you. You were Loki's true weakness.

"It’s frightening. Turns the legs to jelly. I ask you, to what end?" Thanos looked Loki right in the eye. He could see that Loki was afraid, yet Loki never looked away from him. He was either too proud or fearless. Thanos had liked that about Loki initially. But he had failed Thanos greatly. It had cost him infinity stones.

"Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same. And now, it’s here. Or should I say I am," Thanos finished his dramatics because it was time for action, to turn the wheels and see the bigger picture. This was the end of an era and a new beginning for a different universe. In Thanos' mind, only he could bring balance and order. He gestured for you to walk up to his side.

Too afraid of the idea of what would happen if you disobeyed, you walked right up to Thanos, feeling like a fly that was willingly flying into cobwebs. When you were close enough, you kneeled and dipped your head so he wouldn't see the worry in your eyes. It wasn't there before.

"I didn't obtain the tesseract from him, but I am sure that he has it, father," You muttered quietly. Why did you say that? There was a pounding headache growing within your skull. You didn't know what was right or wrong anymore and you couldn't fight it either.

Father

Loki clenched his jaw as he followed the situation closely. Hearing that made his blood boil. He wanted to rip Thanos apart after this. Never in a million years had he imagined this, to see you pledge your alliance to Thanos, kneeling before him and respecting him. Thanos didn't deserve that. Hell, Thanos didn't even deserve to look at you. It was wrong.

At that moment, Loki worried that his trick hadn't worked. That the memories hadn't awakened anything within you. That it was all too late now. This was the end, the one thing in life that was inevitable.

"I know, my child," Thanos let out a sigh. Then he grabbed you by your jaw like he had done before, forcing you to face him. "I know he has it," He repeated and suddenly his touch turned violent. He closed his hand around your neck tightly and you gasped for air helplessly. Your hands - tiny compared to his - grabbed his fingers and you tried to pry them apart, but he was tougher than you. Panic shot through your entire body when you realized you couldn't breathe. It turned your blood to ice and your poor heart was beating so hard you were afraid it would explode.

What was he doing?

The moment he pulled you to your feet, so high that you had to stand on the tips of your toes, he spoke, "The tesseract or her life," Thanos smiled devilishly, showing no remorse. He didn't care about you. You were a pawn in his game and if you would die at his feet, he would just walk over you and carry on.

"You choose," Thanos put the weight of the world on Loki's shoulders.

Loki wanted to rescue you from that monster, but he wasn't stupid. With all of Thanos' children surrounding him, he knew that he would be dead before he could reach you. Nonetheless, it didn't mean he wouldn't try. Seeing you clawing at Thanos' hand, fighting for something as simple as air and not getting it was heartbreaking. Loki's body was trembling with hatred and hurt. Tears blurred his vision and he struggled to keep his composure.

How had it all come to this?

The thought of Thanos with the tesseract was haunting. Soon he would have all the stones and he would destroy reality as they knew it. But Loki could live with that. He couldn't live knowing you had died when he had a chance to save you. Perhaps he was selfish for choosing you over the entire galaxy, but Loki didn't care. Nothing mattered if he would lose you again.

"Alright, stop!" Loki made up his mind. "I choose her," Finally, Thanos released his grip on you and let you fall on the cold ground. Your hands wrapped around your throat gently and you coughed painfully. It took you a while to finally breathe again, which was a huge relief for both Loki and you.

And now Loki was holding the tesseract. It was so bright that it painted the space blue. It was almost too bright to look at. The power within the stone was so strong, you could sense it like heat from the sun in spring after a long and cold winter. Loki was tempted to use the tesseract to grab you and escape, but he quickly shut those thoughts away. Thanos would follow him for the end of all days.

"You...you really are the worst, brother," Thor was following the situation to the best of his abilities. He spat out blood as he watched Loki holding the cube. It made him sad. Everything they ever knew was destroyed in the name of power, pure and raw power that the tesseract could offer. Was it worth it?

Loki glanced at Thor who was too weak to even get up. He didn't care too much about what he had to say. Then he looked at you. There you were, on the ground struggling to breathe after Thanos had crushed your windpipe. There was bruising on your skin that would only deepen with time. Time that you possibly wouldn't have after this.

He saw the tears running down your face, but you didn't sob and whimper. It seemed like you were as still as stone. You couldn't bring yourself to face Loki.

"I assure you," Loki found his voice and he addressed both you and Thor with his words, "the sun will shine on us again."

What did he mean by that?

You were ashamed to tilt your gaze to see him, to see the tesseract. The damn infinity stone had ruined it all! It was why Thanos had wrecked Loki, why he had destroyed you too. Why so many people were now dead. If you had one wish that could come true, you would wish for the tesseract to be destroyed forever.

Thanos had his back turned to you. Loki was slowly but surely making his way closer to the titan, almost like he was afraid to move but he forced his body to comply. Why? Why would he trade the tesseract for your life? It seemed like whatever spell you had been under had worn off. You were free, but it was more terrifying than being under Thanos' control under these circumstances. He didn't need you, and soon enough the vessel would be blown to bits. All of you, even Loki.

Would you be able to tell him how sorry you were?

"Your optimism is misplaced, Asgardian," Thanos wasn't fond of Loki's strange choice of words.

"Well for one thing I'm not Asgardian," Loki replied quickly. It sounded a little bit witty, which was confusing. Where did the boost of confidence come from? Was he up to something?

"And for another," He continued dramatically. This time it was Thanos' turn to be confused.

"We have a Hulk."

Everything that happened after that happened so fast that you could hardly keep up with it. Loki dropped the tesseract and he leapt toward you. Thanos barely had time to turn around when a huge, green beast appeared out of nowhere and it seemed angry. It was eager to fight the titan.

Loki had you up on your feet in no time and the two of you ran away from the immediate danger. He led you to one of the many corridors on the vessel until no one could possibly see you. They were too distracted by the Hulk to even think about Loki and you. It wasn't until he was right in front of you that you could comprehend what was going on. He was kneeling on the floor and you were sat against the wall for support. Your hands were trembling so hard, it seemed like you were freezing up and you couldn't make it stop.

Loki had tricked Thanos.

He was relieved when you didn't fight him, yet he was unsure if it meant you were no longer under Thanos' control, or if you were simply too tired to fight.

He cupped your face gently and searched for answers in your expression. Back in the day, he had been able to read you like an open book.

You put your hands around his wrists and pulled him closer. You were desperate for the comfort he could bring in the midst of the living hell you were stuck in. How did he not hate you?

"I'm s- I'm sorry," You whimpered, finally cracking like a plate that had fallen on the floor. "I'm sorry."

"Shh, it's okay," Loki couldn't possibly let you apologize for what had happened. He was possibly the one person who understood exactly what you had gone through and what it was like to follow orders from that monster. There was not an ounce of judgement to be found in his heart.

What mattered now was that you were together again. You could come up with a plan, but you had to work fast. As much as Loki wanted to hold you and comfort you, to feel that you were real, he knew there wasn't enough time for that.

"We need to get off this thing," Loki's mind was running a marathon as he tried to come up with an escape plan.

"They're gonna blow it up," You explained, feeling how bad your lips were quivering as you spoke. The moment Thanos had what he came for, they would leave and destroy everything they'd leave behind.

Shivers ran down Loki's spine as he heard that. It only confirmed that you had to act quickly. Loki wasn't sure how long the Hulk could fight Thanos. Would they be able to rescue Thor? How much time did they have?

The blood in the wound you had caused on his face was beginning to dry. It looked gnarly and all you wanted was to make it all better. Knowing that you had hurt him made you sick with guilt.

"I'm sorry, Loki. I didn't w-want to fight you," You sniffled, breaking Loki's train of thought. For the first time, he felt lost. He didn't really know what to do. Were there any escape pods left?

"I know," Loki assured you. "I know that. I was in your shoes when I was on Midgard," He explained briefly, unaware whether or not you knew of it. Had Thanos talked about him to you?

A sense of impending doom weighed you two down. If this was the end, then at least you were together, right? You and Loki against the nine realms, you would face the end together if there wasn't another way out. Whenever you had pictured your final day, you had imagined something entirely different than this. You would be old together, with hundreds of stories of your shared life. You would be surrounded by people you cared about. It would be calm, the exact opposite of this.

"I love you," You needed to tell him that. Any moment could be your last. The world would cave in and you would be gone forever.

Loki hated how much that sounded like a farewell, but at the same time, it had been so long since he had last heard those three words, let alone from you. Perhaps it was sick and twisted, but it made him smile.

"I love you too," Loki was sure of it. He had never stopped loving you and he didn't think he was even capable of that.

It seemed like you acted on instinct. You found enough strength to push yourself right against Loki. There was no hesitation in your actions as you kissed him. Loki closed his eyes when he felt your trembling lips pressed against his. Your scent, still sweet and familiar despite it all, punched its way into his lungs. He held your face gently but the kiss was passionate, almost despairing.

You wanted to scream out in agony because at last, you were reunited with Loki but not in the way you imagined. You felt like the shell of the person you were before, and now you knew for a fact that Thanos had done the exact same things to Loki. That titan had killed your souls beyond repair. But all you could do was kiss Loki and hold him and hope that he could feel how sorry you were. You didn't want to let go, afraid that if you did, it would all end. Just like that.

Loki broke the kiss, and for a moment you rested your foreheads against one another like you had done so many times before. It was comforting. You both wanted to stay close like that, but you recognised that you couldn't. Letting go of each other and getting up on your weary feet was so incredibly difficult, but it had to be done.

The world around you began to glow brighter. You quickly held onto Loki, startled as the mysterious light surrounded the two of you.

Loki held his breath as he studied the warm glimmering magic that had swallowed you. In between the bright rays of light, he saw all the colours of the rainbow. Shimmering. He saw reds and blues, yellows and greens, shining brighter than the other and it changed smoothly.

The Bifrost

He didn't know how or why, but he knew for a fact that you were in the magical portal. He couldn't see beyond it anymore. He couldn't feel the floor beneath his feet. It was like he was levitating mid-air, with you tightly in his arms.

Heimdall must've conjured the forefathers, letting their powers flow through him one last time. Where to? Loki assumed that anywhere would be better than where they had been mere seconds ago.

And it was a miracle.

A/N: I think it would've made more sense for Heimdall to send Thor or Loki to earth rather than the Hulk. So that's why I ended it like that

I'd absolutely love to hear your feedback! <3

TAGS:

Loki: @yuna-belikova @ornella0910 @castiels-majestic-wings @lucywrites02 @myraiswack @prettysbliss @weirdfangirl2416

Forever Taglist: @iraniq @embrycallsgirl @blackroseyaz @badass-psycho @r-alexandra01 @p3aches13 @your-pixels-are-showing @disasterren @iamsuperjenna @yuna-belikova @ornella0910 @optimisticpeacecollector5 @thehumanistsdiary @your-pixels-are-showing @klanceiscannon14 @i-have-arrived-bitch

#Loki #Loki fic #Loki fanfiction #Loki oneshot #Loki x You #Loki x Reader #Loki x Y/N #Loki Odinson #Loki Laufeyson #tw angst #Loki angst #Loki/You

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maxheadley · 6 years ago

Text

Arguments and offers

Fire cackled as a foggy trail of blackish-gray smoke whisked up into the chimney. The air was thick and warm, a rather extreme drastic change from the blizzard howling on outside. Sebastian dozed on an dark burgundy armchair. His head tilted onto his open palm, squishing his cheek upward. Ben slightly chuckled, seeing drool trail down the corners of Sebastian's mouth. He closed the book he currently was reading and sat it on the couch next to his sleeping hellhound. He got up and made his way over to his beloved Sebastian. He smoothed down Sebastian's ruffled dark hair gently. Ben admired the beautiful man more than anything in the world. Nothing mattered to him like Sebastian. Seeing him peacefully sleeping made Ben so happy.

He deserved peace after all. After all the terrible, rambunctious, raucous past year. Finally, the two could settle down, raise their children and figure out the next step in their future.

Ben felt a relief fall off his shoulders. He could finally breathe. Sebastian could finally breathe. He walked to the window, drew back the heavy black curtains and leaned against the windowsill. Outside snow drizzled down from the cloudy sky, snow blanketed the ground undisturbed by footsteps or shovels. In the distance, Ben witnessed a couple dancing in their home. A warm light flooded through their window onto the snow, giving a yellow hue to the white color. He noticed the loving way the blonde girl gazed up at her husband as they moved slowly across the floor. The way the man shared the same unconditional expression. That was true love, Ben thought sweetly.

Eventually, Ben saw them break apart and blow out the candle of light. The last light on the street winked out leaving nothing but darkness, moon, and bright, white snow. He stared at the waning moon set upon the sky for what seemed like ages until he heard someone clear his throat. Whipping around, allow the curtains to close, he saw Sebastian stretching, reminding Ben briefly of a domestic cat. He coughed once as he stood up.

In the dim firelight, shadows were cast on Sebastian's pristine face. He couldn't quite read Sebastian's facial expression, but Ben assumed tiredness sunk into his eyes, giving him a depressed, resigned look. "I'm quite surprised you hadn't woken me up to go to bed. Are you not tired?" Sebastian asked in a groggy voice.

"Not really, no. But you can head to bed. I want to finish up the chapter I am currently abating." Ben said, walking over to the couch where Nikolai was curled up and picked up his book. book. He counted the pages. "I have about three pages to read." Ben plopped down onto the couch, laying his book on his lap.

"Ben.. How are you feeling?" Sebastian asked, putting his large delicate hands on Ben's shoulders. Ben leaned his head onto Sebastian's core, relishing in the heat that emitted there. "Cold for the most part, but emotionally, I feel empty as there is nothing presenting itself to us as problem needing fixing. I like that we're getting a break from a year's worth of drama and battles, but I miss helping and I enjoy relishing in the victory it gives me." He responded sadly.

Sebastian's expression remained bleak and complacent up until Ben's response. He made a startled gasp and stepped back. He ended up glowering at Ben. His silvery-pale blue eyes alight with astonishment and anger. "How can you say that? We lost nearly everything because of Alura and Chasm and you miss it? It cost Creedence and Ella their lives!"

Ben turned slightly to avoid kneeing his hellhound, Cheri in the face and sighed. "I know, but you're forgetting what we won. Magnus has his freedom back as well as his kingdom's freedom. You discovered you had a twin brother, you never knew about and I found out I had siblings than just Marlee. And everyone is safe from the corruption of Alura thanks to Anazul."

"Many people have given up their lives for the sake of keeping everyone safe and saving their kingdoms. Creedence didn't give up his life for you just so you could jump right back into warfare. Ella wouldn't have wanted us to continue to fight enemies without evidence. She would've wanted us to fight accordingly and have the evidence proving they are the enemy. We're finally at peace. Do you want to give that up?" Sebastian said, coldly. "Or have it taken from us again!"

Ben noticed Sebastian was shaking. His anxiety must've spiked up right alongside the anger he pressed into his words. Ben got up slowly and strode over to him. "No. No. No." He shook his head. His black hair falling over his eyebrows. "Listen. What I'm saying is I miss being active and helping with problems. We've been cooped up in this house since Mitas discovered a spell to resurrect Creedence and Ella, hoping to see if necromancy actually works." Ben took his beloved's hands calmly, brushing his thumb over the large knuckles soothingly. "And I was thinking of applying for a position in the Races Representative's Court. Being a representative for my side of the wolves would help me stay actively inclined and informed of problems involving my kind." He added, seeing how skeptical Sebastian remained.

Sebastian cued in a massive eyeroll and cast a glare in Ben's direction. "I understand that but soon we'll have more responsibilities then we know what to do with. Remember our children will come soon and they will be a handful. Not to mention, you have two little girls who do need their father. You don't have to be a representative.." He argued.

"I can juggle both responsibilities." Ben growled, a little apoplectically.

Sebastian yanked his hands out of Ben's and turned away slowly as if trying to figure out what next he should say in the argument to win. Ben knew he wouldn't. Once Ben had his mind set on something, it became important to him and he was determined to accomplish it. Ben needed this, no matter what Sebastian said.

"Sebastian, being a representative for the wolf race would help me gain the leadership experience I need to take over the Wolf Pack from Callista when she chooses me for the next out of me and Ella. I need this and you're also on the representatives council for the vampires. It's no big deal."

Sebastian glanced at him appalled. "I have to be on the damned representatives council because I am the King now! And Anazul forced Crescent to take over his father's seat. He wasn't prepared for being a council member at only fourteen, and I can tell you're not either. You still have the mindset of a teenager and don't even deny that because I can read your thoughts. You're rash and careless. You don't think about how you affect me and others."

Ben resisted the urge to flinch at the severe tone Sebastian used. He could only stare blindsided about how Sebastian reacted, his mouth slightly agape.

Sebastian must've seen the flash of astonishment, anger and disappointment that filtered into his eyes before Ben schooled his expression into being expressionless, because Sebastian bit his lip harshly. Anxiety flushed his cheeks. "I didn't mean... I meant that you shouldn't force yourself into a role unnecessarily for the sake of gaining someone's approval.. You're still-"

Ben backed away, shaking his head and turned away this time. Anger rebelled in his blood. He scrunched up his nose, breathing heavily and growled, fuming all over the place inside. "You don't think I'm mature enough for this, do you?"

"Ben, that's not what i-"

"NO! That's exactly what you're saying Sebastian!" Ben whirled on Sebastian. His eyes were wild with fury.

Sebastian flinched, looking down at his shaking large hands and hissed. "Alright, fine. I do think you're immature and you're proving my point by reacting like a complete child."

Ben wrinkled up his nose once again. "I thought you'd support me in this endeavor because that's what your supposed to do in a relationship, but you don't want me to? Because I'm immature?"

"What I'm saying is, you don't know what we are held responsible for! There's so many factors to consider in helping run the races and we have to be the face of our face. Articulate and under control. We can't react immaturely otherwise we set a bad example of our race. You would most likely hear something you don't agree with or like and react differently than a representative usually does." Sebastian informed him lightly, putting a huge amount of effort in leaving the scorn out of his words and tone.

Ben said nothing. He reacted badly in the past. But every since the Great Blood War, his conscience was made aware. He used to actively torture people and himself. He hurt others intentionally. He knew his impulsiveness would be his downfall, but having Sebastian tell him this, made everything he'd done seem worthless and he should be guilty, but he wasn't. He had no regrets or remorse for what he'd done.

And he knew it.

"You know we can hear you right?" Said Crescent's high pitched voice. Hitting puberty seemed to cause Crescent's unusual soft voice to be a tad squeaky. Ben whirled around to see Crescent standing on the spiraling staircase with Caereli a couple steps higher. Both look wide eyed, fearful and concerned. Ben couldn't help but grab his black button up coat and shrug it on. Glancing at a paling Sebastian, he shook his head. "I need to be alone." He ran out the door before Sebastian could protest.

He didn't want to hear anymore. He couldn't, so Ben ran out into the storm, leaving Sebastian standing there in the doorway, his pale eyes trailing after him with sadness and dying anger wallowing in their depths.

Sebastian perched on the coal black rooftop of his home. His feet dangled over the edge barefoot. He should've been concerned his toes were numb, and his foot felt like ice. However, Sebastian's mind was on other things.

Ben hadn't come home last night. Sebastian stayed up all night, worrying and going over the events of last night in his hand. He regretted saying what he did, a million times over. Why did he have to call Ben immature? He meant what he said. Ben couldn't be ready for the task, no matter how much he tried to convince Sebastian. But Sebastian felt the guilt weigh in on his fragile heart.

What else would he lose? He lost the only other person he'd ever loved deeply not too long ago. His brother. Would he survive if he lost Ben too? Sebastian had no answer for the questions he continued to ask himself repeatedly mentally.

Salty tears treaded down his pale cheeks. He tasted his own tears passing off his lips to his thighs below. He wiped at his face. There was no point in killing his heart by crying and wallowing in self pity. He had more dignity than that.

He used his dark burgundy sweater to cover up his freezing hands as he leaned forward. He cast his pale blue eyes down onto the streets below. Children and teenagers were running about, playing games or hanging out with one another.

Sebastian saw a young couple posing for pictures in front of the abandoned Cahya Castle. He wondered if they realized why their King hasn't set foot among it's corridors and taken use inside. He wondered if they knew what a toll those walls would take on his fragility. He wondered if he, himself would ever rightfully inhabit the old, dusty castle. The answer would presumably be no. For now. He may change his mind when his heart doesn't hurt.

Sebastian leaped from the roof, landing directly in front of two teenagers and hissed, leaving no room for emotion. "Do you two have any respect for your fallen king or do you think his death is a joke?"

The young male startled, turned around and lowered his old, classic camera. His dark green eyes wide and his mouth agape at the sight of Sebastian. The young female looked down at her pink heels, avoiding Sebastian's expressionless gaze. Clearly embarrassed to be caught by the new King, the former King's brother. Probably an extremely awkward moment for all three. The young male started, but then shut his mouth, and stared fearfully at Sebastian.

"The castle isn't your playground for pictures." Sebastian added, looking less threatening but still remained firm. He didn't want to be feared. Not really. He wanted respect, and while one may gain respect through fear, he wanted respect through love, compassion, and fairness. He did not want to be a cruel man like his abusive, corrupted father.

"We know, but she liked the setting. I couldn't coax Melonie out of it. I'm sorry, King Sebastian. We don't mean any disrespect to King Creedence or any of the Royal family." The young male acknowledged sweetly.

"What's your name, kid?" Sebastian asked, randomly.

"Reece Lilly, sir."

"Nice to meet you, Reece, and your friend." Sebastian acknowledged Reece's female friend. "But may I speak to you alone? Melonie can run along and wait for you wherever."

Melonie frowned, looking about as stubborn as she could muster into an expression, but said nothing as Reece agreed.

Sebastian began walking with the young male and studied the narrow street ahead of them. "How long have you been doing photography?" Sebastian inquired, inquisitively.

Reece, who stood about five inches shorter, glanced up at Sebastian astonished. "I-" He cleared his throat, not wanting to squeak or sound pitchy. "I have been doing this since my father found this camera exploring the Sessian Forest. He gifted me this at twelve. I'm fourteen now. He thought I should leave behind a legacy of capturing the world and it's inhabitants through photograph." Reece confidently answered, sidestepping a couple of little girls who pushed around a small, pink rubber ball teasing their fluffy, white hellhound. Sebastian chuckled, seeing the mischief in the children's eyes, and shook his head, smiling. "You're young to be thinking about a legacy to leave behind? Do you plan on dying anytime, Reece?"

Reece took several minutes to respond. He probably had to think about what kind of answer he should give his King. What would Ben say? Sebastian thought bitterly. When Reece finally responded, there was deep sadness lacing his words. "No one knows when he or she may die. There could be alot of factors moving towards your eternal death or your eternal life. God is the only one who truly knows and decides are death. Why shouldn't I get ahead and create a legacy? My father died before he could create his own."

Sebastian winced, looking down at the young boy. "Reece, your father, did create a legacy."

"Really? What is it? Did you know him?" Reece shot questions at Sebastian like a train speedily running down it's iron train tracks.

"I don't know who your father is, but I do know, his legacy lives on in his children. You. You are his legacy. You're his greatest creation and that is something you should know he is most proud of."

Reece paused, his boots crunching on the pebbles underfoot. "Forgive me for asking, but how do you know, Sir?"

Shy as Reece pretended to be, Sebastian gave him credit for asking the tough questions, the questions no one is brave enough to ask and some aren't brave enough to answer. He smiled, shoving his cold hands into his black pants pockets. "Because every parent is a creator and should be proud of their creation."

"Was your parents proud of their creations?" Reece asked, causing Sebastian's heart to palpitate for a moment.

"I only ever had my brother and his wife. My parents never cared for me, but perhaps their proud of their other children. Who knows? What I can tell you, is even if Creedence wasn't my father, and Elona wasn't my mother, they were proud of me and left me their most precious creations in my safe hands." He smiled, up the gray, cloudy sky. "And they can count on me to raise them as they did me."

Reece yelped, tripping over a large rock because he looked up like Sebastian and landed awkward on the middle of rusted, train tracks.

Sebastian chuckled, kneeling in front of the little photographer. "You alright, love?"

"Just shocked is all."

"Not too surprising, but I'd forgotten these tracks were here. No train has been here since the First War." Sebastian's eyes trailed down the train tracks noticing how it curved and fled into the mountains beyond to Lord knows where. Probably to the abandoned Nelessa train station, rotting somewhere beyond the Golnessa Mountains.

"Apparently, none of the Queens of Legend cared to remove the tracks. They're sure a hazard." Said, a very familiar voice. Sebastian scampered to his feet and whirled around to find himself facing Ben. Of course, it was Ben. It always was Ben.

Sebastian could hear Reece mumbling profanities under his breathe as he brushed debris particles off his stark white pants. Ignoring, the teenager, he zeroed in his focus on Ben. He frowned, catching glimpses of the tear stains on Ben's and the puffiness of his red eyes. He had been crying. Sebastian hadn't thought of the consequences and damage his words may have caused. Guilt racked his heart like an iron grip of fist crushing a rock to dust. He breathed, schooling his face into a neutral expression. "Ben.. How did you find me?" He immediately regretted the question as Ben could sniff out his scent among other mingling scents and track him down easily. What a stupid question, he cursed himself mentally.

"I didn't. You found me, actually. I camped in the hammock over there. I caught a whiff of your scent and the boy's before I heard your footsteps crunching among the snow. I waited to see what you were doing with him til now." Ben gestured to a turquoise and red hammock tied between to large oak trees.

"Wait! You're Ben? The infamous lover of Sebastian?" Reece said, excitedly and very picthy. His voice rose several octaves. Sebastian's ear began to ring. "I've always wanted to meet the warrior who swept my King's feet out from underneath him and brought him out of his shell! He's so involved now with his warriors, including me and it's so wonderful. Thank you so much, Ben!"

Ben flinched, his expression guarded. "Um, you're welcome?"

Sebastian clamped a hand over Reece's mouth to keep him from blabbering about and killing his ears again. "If I let you go, will you be quiet?" Sebastian asked, his voice rough.

Reece nodded and Sebastian released him, shooting a glance that said sorry to Ben, who was grinning. Clearly, he thought the encounter was hilarious. Sebastian might've smacked him if he'd been anyone else, but for some reason, Ben's grin melted his heart.

"Ben, I apologize for what I said yesterday. I was exhausted and overreacted which was immaturely of me." Sebastian tried to keep his voice steady and not stressed.

Ben looked away, pulling his gray coat closer to him and sighed, his breath making circles in the cold air. "Don't apologize for being right. You were right. I am immature and I do need to grow up. But I think putting myself in a setting of maturity and grace will help me learn to be an adult."

Sebastian saw his heterochromic pale green and bright blue eyes were glossy with unshed tears. He longed to hold his partner, to console him, but figured Ben would reject the affection. Comforting came easy to Ben, but as for being comforted, was a difficult and different game. Sebastian stepped closer, ignoring the fact he stepped on Reece's foot and his yelp. He touched Ben's cool, flushed red cheek. "I still think you shouldn't put too much responsibility and pressure on yourself, but I will support your decision whatever it may be. Because I love you and I don't want to lose you. I never want to lose you."

Ben nuzzled his palm with his cheek, closing his eyes. "I love you so much." A small, stray tear trailed down his cheek and Sebastian hastily wiped it away.

Reece said, in awe. "You two are such a successful couple. I wish I had something special like you two do."

Sebastian momentarily forgotten the teenager was standing their witnessing their reconciliation. He shot one last look at Ben, who opened his eyes and gazed down at the young teenager calmly, and smiled over at Reece. "Isn't Melonie your girlfriend?"

Reece laughed, looking embarrassed, and awkward especially among the presence of two very much in love men. "Melonie is my sister. I don't have a girlfriend, but I do have a small crush on a girl." He rubbed his slender, tan hands together as if he were warming them.

The only one likely to be extremely cold, was Ben. Being a vampire meant not being bothered by the bipolar weather, though Sebastian still had the blood of a mortal, he could feel the cold but wasn't very bothered.

"Maybe we can help you get your first girlfriend." Ben suggested before Sebastian could form a thought other than how red Ben's cheeks had turned.

"No.. I couldn't possibly ask you to do that.." Reece's cheeks flushed beet red. Either embarrassed or shocked, Sebastian could tell by reading his face. However, being able to hear his thoughts, Reece wanted very much for him and Ben to help him.

"You didn't have to ask, we're offering. Besides, I think Crescent and Caereli would be grateful to have new friends too." Sebastian intercepted Ben's lazy response.

"You seriously want to help a peasant like me? Why?"

Sebastian smiled over at Ben, who shared the same smile. "Because once upon a time, we had help getting together. My siblings were very persistent. We're happy to help someone who deserves it. Love is powerful and-"

"And it never fails." Ben finished for him.

Sebastian seen the wheels turning inside Reece's head. Ideas floating around. Thoughts of disbelief and excitement flooding Sebastian's mind. His dark green eyes met his. He parted his lips and emitted a sound, lost amidst the thoughts driving into his head. He presumed the teenager said, yes.

And Sebastian, really, genuinely smiled.

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