#''yeah I like my routine just right and I don't like when anything changes it lol I'm just kinda quirky that way!
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disclaimer that I don't like the idea of openly assuming things about strangers' identities or their personal lives, especially when you're catching a glimpse of only one part of them they choose to share in the public eye. but it Is very funny when you're reading or watching some interview with a famous person, and they say things that make you do this one comic:
#art source drememoto#''yeah I like my routine just right and I don't like when anything changes it lol I'm just kinda quirky that way!#I hate certain noises and I have very intense obsessions about things and I'm not so good at talking to people''#and you're like uh huh. uh huh. uh huh.#I enjoy reading those things tho. bc even if there's ultimately nothing to pathologise it's still like. aw hey me too#tho older ones from now deceased people who likely never had the opportunity to discover anything about themselve are quite heartbreaking.#especially if they come across as distressed or uncomfortable with aspects of their personality#then you get stuff like stewart copeland openly going ''he's probably not as autistic about it as I am'' when describing his ear for drums#which is really funny to me#idk if he's saying that in a more ''oh I'm so ocd lol!'' or a sincere way but I'd like to think it's the latter bc it was so blunt
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I don't want to go to work tomorrow I want to get high and have gay sex and play guitar with my friends forever and ever and eat good food. Alas weed costs money so I need the job
#fp.txt#yeah yeah never trust how you feel abt life after sunset but every day it's the same feeling of oh I'm never gonna be a real human person#who functions right the way everyone else does. I'm never gonna learn how to form new relationships I have no faith in my ability to do#anything out of my routine anymore but my routine just makes me feel worse every day Where is all this coming from what the hell. huh what.#apparently I have memories of reflecting on these same feelings for several days if not weeks now. but I don't know when that happened this#is the first I'm hearing of it. I can't refute it tho it does feel like I'm never ever gonna change or better myself and I'm just getting#worse and everyone who loves me is gonna cut their losses eventually. Jesus Christ I'm already 20 what in the hell happened the past 3 years#I don't remember any of it. I just want to go to bed bro where is all this shit coming from
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something fascinating to me about egg discourse is how often tme people Also joke about or question their friends potential to be trans, and it's literally never talked about like this.
my cis and tme nb friends routinely joke about celebrities or characters that have big "nonbinary energy" or who otherwise exhibit behavior we would associate with ourselves. i have tme friends and acquaintances who have approached me or my wife and straightforwardly said "something seems trans about you, have I asked for your pronouns recently?"
similar friends have even talked about other still-cis friends in our circle this way, or joked about "when are you going to transition like the rest of us?" or "yeah cis people are a minority in this group, just give it time" or "no wonder you have queer friends with how comfortable with being gnc you are" or etc etc examples like that
even the actual examples of people in my life that I can think of as being the most "invasive" or presumptive about gender have been tme people:
it was my cishet friends who outed me and my wife as trans to everyone at their wedding, including their boomer parents and hundreds of strangers, and called it "the most queer wedding party ever"
it was my tme nb friend who kept saying they could "always tell" her transfem cousin was trans before she came out, and then proceeded to randomly give us extremely personal details about her bottom surgery
it was my transmasc friend who refused to call me and my wife anything other than "little enby beans" after we met and introduced us with our full genders+sexuality labels to every single person one by one at a party
it was my transmasc nb friend who kept insisting my wife could "still be nonbinary" when she was first considering identifying as a trans woman instead, and it was THAT idea that actually slowed her down from making changes to her life that she wanted
it was my cis friends who approached me arm and arm and cornered my outside of a bathroom at a party right after I took a piss to suddenly ask me what my pronouns were because they "heard something" at the party
like, transfems deserve robust support against this trash so a lot of our defensive discourse has ofc been about how it IS okay for transfems to talk about eggs and be jokey about it and non-invasively approach others about being trans
but i swear to god none of these weird people have even stopped to make their discourse ABOUT anyone BUT transfems. it's so clearly targeted!!
no one has EVER approached *me* as a tme nb person and suggested i was pressuring gnc people with my egg jokes. never. nothing even remotely similar. i joke about other people being trans all the time and no one has ever treated me the way you all are treating transfems over this issue.
important note: my examples are all things I recall as being invasive and awkward, and I'm sharing them to make a point about how often rude behavior comes from the same tme people pointing fingers over this. but I still don't think any of them are worth the crucifixion people are treating transfem egg discourse with.
even when my friends were weird to me in the above examples, my reaction was either to confront them about it as friends who I trust to be able to communicate with, or to cut those individuals off after they proved not worth a relationship in the long run. at no time did I desire to make a call-out post or spread rumors about them or publicly declare all of their gender as a screeching menace to society.
my point here is that even when I do think about moments where others crossed a line, acting like this is a "issue trans women have" is blatantly transmisogynistic garbage that only exists to serve the woman-hating machine at the heart of our society. fucking cut it out
#to be clear: i have tons of transfem friends too#and im not friends with all of these people anymore#but thats not the point of this post at all#also obligatory im tme tag#but i think thats also clear in the post
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Heart VI
Mapi León x Ingrid Engen x Child!Reader
Summary: You like Patri's birds
It was sitting in a charity shop.
The camera that is.
It's an old camera, kind of battered from a life well used but still seemingly in working order.
Honestly, it's kind of retro and Mapi really likes the look of it.
She'd only been passing by, off to the shops to get Ingrid some chocolate and stock up on milk. She wasn't quite sure why she stopped to stare but she does.
It's sitting in a box with a roll of old photo film and a camera strap to wear around your neck.
She goes into the charity shop and buys the camera, a steal of ten euros with the roll of film and the strap included.
So, Mapi comes back to the house with Ingrid's chocolate, a pint of milk and a new camera.
"Hey, sunshine," Mapi says, patting the spot on the sofa next to her," Come here."
You sit with her happily and Mapi shows you the camera. She demonstrates how it works and shows you how it prints off the photo immediately like your more modern Polaroid.
"It'll take us a while to find some more film," Mapi tells you," But, here, I've got an idea. You've got maybe four or five pictures left. I want you to really think about what you like and what you want because what you take a picture of, me and Mama will buy it for you. Sound good?"
You nod.
"Good girl."
When Ingrid heard of Mapi's plan, she expected you to start taking pictures of everything right away.
You carry your new camera everywhere with you, the worn strap hanging around your neck.
But you don't take any pictures whatsoever.
You look like you want to but, with an impressive amount of control of a kid, you stop yourself.
You're waiting for something, Ingrid thinks.
You're good at waiting.
You waited for years for your Santa Heart. You can wait to take a picture too.
That's much easier than living in a hospital bed.
Your surgical site has healed up now, leaving only the sliver of a scar that Ingrid still finds herself compulsively checking over at bath time, just to check that nothing's changed with it.
Your check ups have decreased to once every three months now and you're coming along leaps and bounds.
"Patri!" Mapi calls out from the kitchen," Have you got anything kid friendly in here?"
Ingrid sits on Patri's sofa as the rest of the team mill around for team bonding.
Mapi had gone snooping in the kitchen immediately to get snacks for herself and you.
"Yeah, should be in the top cupboard!" Patri yells back.
She's much more preoccupied with bringing her two birds out of their cage to show you.
You're enamoured by them, oohing and aahing ever since you first saw them in the cage earlier.
"You need to be very careful with them," Patri tells you," They're nervous."
"They're pretty," You say," Pretty birds."
"Would you like to hold them?"
"Yes, please!"
These birds are the prettiest birds in the world. They're very sweet as they sit on your arms, making soft little chirping noises and demonstrating tricks for you to see.
It's hard to separate you from the birds for the rest of the day, completely enamoured by them and Patri seems both delighted and surprised that you love them so much.
They're all you talk about on the way home from team bonding and all you talk about during your bath and bedtime routine.
Ingrid's taken control of that for tonight as Mapi changes into her pyjamas and feeds Bagheera some treats.
"Mami?"
She turns with a smile.
"Have you come to say goodnight, sunshine?"
You nod. "Mama is choosing our story. She said I've got to say goodnight now."
Mapi crosses the room quickly, pulling you into a hug and kissing your cheek. "I love you."
"Love you," You echo, suddenly looking extremely nervous.
Mapi frowns. "What's up? Huh? What's wrong?"
"I...er...I...Mami I used my new camera."
"There's nothing wrong with that. That's what it's there for."
"No, I..." You nibble at your bottom lip. "I think I did it wrong. I took pictures of something you can't get me."
Mapi's frown only deepens and she kneels down to your height, hand going to rest on your cheek. "Why don't you show me?"
"I don't want you to be mad."
"How about this? I'm going to close my eyes and you can give me a picture and run off back to Mama and go to bed. We can discuss it tomorrow."
"Okay, Mami. Eyes closed."
The little Polaroids are placed into Mapi's hands and she waits until your footsteps have gone silent to open them again.
"Oh, sunshine," Mapi says to herself.
All five pictures are of the same thing.
Patri's birds.
One of them in their cage.
One of them pressed up against the bars.
One of them on Patri's head.
One of them on your arm.
One of them of you and them cuddled up together.
Ingrid inspects them that evening.
"I don't know what to do!" Mapi exclaims in bed, head resting on Ingrid's chest," She really liked Patri's birds and I told her that whatever she photographed she could have! But she seemed so nervous like she didn't even want to ask!"
"Mapi," Ingrid says," She was nervous because she thinks we won't want to buy her birds. You told her just last week that cats don't like birds and we do have Bagheera."
"Bagheera's lazy," Mapi replies," She won't care about birds."
"Then what are you worried about?"
"I...I don't really know. Are you okay with us having birds?"
Ingrid smiles, cheeks going slightly red. "I was already looking for cages."
It's been weeks since you first met Patri's birds and you're just as obsessed with them are you first were when you met them.
Patri seems to love it, endlessly bragging and showing off new pictures to you that you suitably coo over and secretly wish you had a pair of your own.
But you don't push Mama and Mami on it.
Bagheera is a cat and cats don't like birds. It says so in your storybook so you wish for birds secretly and clip the pictures you took of Patri's onto the soft fairy lights that hang around your room.
You wish you had birds of your own but that'll be something that happens when you're an adult like how Mami and Mama are adults and have Bagheera.
Ingrid holds you up on her hip as she walks from the elevator to the front door, easily carrying you, the shopping and unlocking the door all at the same time.
"Tia Ale wants a baby," You tell Ingrid," She told me so."
"That's because you're just so cute," Ingrid replies, fluttering kisses all over your cheeks," Alexia's got baby fever."
"But I'm not a baby."
"You're my baby," Ingrid declares," Mine and Mami's baby."
You giggle, the kisses tickling you.
"Now," Ingrid says, setting you down," Mami has a surprise for you in your bedroom, okay? You have to be very quiet and very responsible. Can you do that for me?"
You nod. "I can."
Ingrid gives you one last kiss on the cheek. "I knew you would be. Why don't you head in to see Mami?"
Mapi is standing by your bedroom door, giving you her customary kiss and cuddle before opening your bedroom door.
By the foot of your bed is a big cage with a blanket over it.
You gasp.
"Mami-?"
Mapi nods.
"I told you I'd get what you photographed. Do you want to meet your new birds, sunshine?"
#woso x reader#mapi leon x reader#mapi leon#ingrid engen x reader#ingrid engen#woso community#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso
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Satoru's Psyche|Escalating
"Should I really have to suffer for my actions?"
Previous SessionSession 2 of 10|Next Session
🗂️Patient Chart Update: Patient Gojo displayed extremely flirtatious and unruly behavior during the first half of his visit. Mentions of escape and kid-napping were noted as well as enforced close proximity with his nurse. Threatening remarks were also made at the end of his lunch in response to mentions of disciplinary action. Patient is scheduled for a bath but is pending the possibility of negative punishment to instill corrective behaviors. 📋Length of Session (w.c): 8.3k out of "i said we will cross that bridge when we get to it 😊" 💊Intake Chart (tags): mild violence but no in-action descriptors, coercion, manipulation, drug use, angst, unwatched close contact and touch, nudity, mentally unstable Gojo, Nurse!Reader ✏️Doctor's angel’s note: i hope you know what you're doing, Nurse 🎼Waiting room music: Overheated|Billie Eilish
Choose wisely.
Hunger stirs in your tummy, and Gojo's words sit with you through lunch. Your spoon clinks around the bowl, stirring the soup growing colder by the second though the growls from your stomach are too obnoxious to be ignored. But your mind wanders.
You're stuck. Earlier, you were all for serving up justice on a silver platter, but now you're seriously second-guessing your "genius" idea to punish Gojo by making him someone else's problem.
As if anyone will be crazy enough to say yes.
Everyone already avoids his wing like the plague. It's kind of an unspoken fact that you are Gojo's one and only. The only staff he allows near him. Anyone else would be playing with fire.
And if someone is brave enough to willingly throw themselves into the lion's den, they definitely can't be new. New to nursing—new to the ward. High expertise is needed here. Someone seasoned—experience which you lack yourself—otherwise, they won't last a second with Gojo.
It'll be way too easy for him to make them snap, like tossing a bone to a dog.
"Persephone." Yuko brings you out of your coma.
You perk up, instinctively smiling. "Hey, what's up?"
"You tell me," she snorts. "You've been playing with your food like break isn't over in 10 minutes." She touches your arm. "Everything ok?"
It's written all over your face, huh? You could deflate right now.
This is why Yuko is your favorite co-worker. Always reading you like a book without you needing to say a word. Quick to call anything off out.
Leaning back in your chair, you huff, rubbing circles into your temples to relieve the headache you didn't know you had.
"Yeah, yeah," you begin, "It's just—" You stop, her eyes hold so much concern and you've barely opened your mouth. Not sure if you should now because you know what kind of person Yuko is.
And if she knew even half of what you don't tell her during your lunch breaks spent complaining about work, she'd hang Gojo out to dry if she could. She often makes it very clear she hates you have to deal with him at all.
"—I'm just a bit tired. Gojo's scheduled for a bath later, him and two others. Gojo's easy but...I don't know. I feel slower than usual today. Definitely won't get home until late, again, because of all these sponge baths." You cringe at the last part.
Aside from trying to keep Yuko cool, you also don't want to risk the news getting back to the Director who could take you off of Gojo completely. No one else can take your place. And who knows what would happen if you disappeared from his roster for good?
How would his threats manifest?
Yuko scoffs, waving her hand.
"Gojo and easy do not go together," and you both shake your heads and laugh. "But I get it. You did come in super early."
"Thought there'd be less of us," you sigh.
"Sonya's been on our asses lately, right? But hey, she finally got us all here."
"A little too late. The damage is done," you pout, resting your elbows on the table, realizing you've accidentally grown used to chaos and ever-changing schedule.
You routinely plan ahead to make sure you can stand up when people fall short. Constantly putting yourself on the back burner seems to be a thing that always set you back.
"Sooo, you just need rest, ya? Nothing else? Gojo—" there she goes "—been 'okay' with you lately?"
Your heart skips. "Ya. he isn't so bad today," you lie, "I'd just love to be home on time for once. Maybe even a bit early, I'm soo close. Overtime's been wringing my neck for weeks."
Yuko looks at you with puppy dog eyes. And not in a "I feel sorry for you" kind of way, but one that almost makes you feel bad for not telling her the whole truth.
"Here," she pushes your soup towards you, "How about I do Gojo's bath and you get an early start on my last two? That way you can at least binge that show you won't shut up about later." She smiles.
You immediately protest.
There's no way you can do that to her.
Yuko never even crossed your mind and was far from your first pick, not because she can't handle him but because she's your friend. Not just a colleague, but someone you actually care about more than anyone else in this run-down job even if she doesn't feel the same.
She's too good of a person, and you'd be the Devil Incarnate if you let her do something so risky. Especially when you can just suck it up and get it over with.
"Woah, woah, it's just a bath, calm down," she says, taking your hands in hers as you ramble on, trying to convince her that you'll be fine or that you'll find someone else. Burdening her is simply out of the question.
"Who else but me, Seph'?" and she tilts her head, "You don't you think I'm as good as you?" And the way she says it, giving you that look she does when you're being stubborn, dares you to challenge her.
Now you really have to think about what to say.
Goddamn it, you regret saying anything at all, but Yuko's so motherly, how could you resist? Hiding from her is impossible, she would've sniffed you out sooner or later.
Easing your pains when she can is her specialty—helping to calm and settle you down when you blow things out of proportion.
Could this be one of those moments? Or are Gojo's words more than just hot air?
The back and forth is killing you, but the combination of Yuko's reassuring touch and your gurgling stomach puts the final nail in the coffin as she reminds you of the time.
Eyes wide, you look at the clock, ticking away faster than you realized, then back at your lukewarm soup.
Denying that you need help would be silly because technically it's true. You probably should've asked the Director for a little Gojo break forever ago, even if just for a few hours a few times a week. It would be better than nothing because if you can't function, Gojo can't be cared for.
So, who better to help bridge that gap for you than Yuko?
The gutsy woman has been your rock ever since you started at the ward, having your back and sticking with you through tough times when staff constantly dips in and out of the facility like a rotating door, unable to handle the job.
Yuko's a real day one, and next to you, she's the most competent nurse in these walls, fully equipped with a "take-no-shit" attitude that routinely keeps her patients in check.
When you really think about it, it'd be silly, downright irresponsible to trust anyone else.
Her offer is simply too good to dismiss.
"Thank you, Yuko," you cave, grabbing your spoon and finally allowing yourself to enjoy your meal. "You're...amazing. I don't deserve you."
She looks on happily. "Just promise me you'll take some personal time after this," she insists, worry evident in her voice. "We both know how much you care, but even superheroes need rest." She's too kind and right in more ways than one. "Besides, I think Gojo will like me, ya? I'm cool. I'm fun. He'll like a friend of friend?"
You roll your eyes—ya, totally, cool people definitely say they're cool.
Not knowing whether to joke back or wave her off, you softly smile at her concern before nodding, vowing to make good on your promise and feel a bit lighter knowing your wish for early release will actually come true.
Maybe.
The latest threat to your miracle in the making is Mr. Hampton, who is personally making it his business to drag the already long day by its edges, almost bringing time to a standstill with the way he's handling his bath.
Enormous and lumbering, the man Yuko usually deals with took his sweet time gathering his things and even longer trekking down the seemingly endless halls leading to the bathing area. Occupying every inch of the space like those massive trucks that hog the interstate, yet inching along at a pace that makes a snail look like it's in a sprint.
All that was missing were the yellow hazard lights.
Oh no, please, take your time, you think, watching Mr. Hampton clean each limb painstakingly s l o w in a tub that's comically too small for him. You may have been able to rush through Yuko's first patient, but this one wanted all that time back.
His pace resembles a giant's, and his cheery, nonsensical hums echo around the hollow chambers and lull you to sleep, turning your eyes into bricks under the spell of his melody. Perfect timing for the energy drinks from early to crash you out, tag teaming with the chair beneath you that feels a bit too soft as you lean over the tub, willing the colossal man to hurry up.
Warm water flows over your skin as you scrub circles on his neck, deciding to bite the bullet and take over the bath so he can play with the bubbles and get out when you hear a blood-curdling scream.
Your entire body goes rigid, shock reverberating through your spine and forcing you to halt as your mind goes blank. But steamy water brings you back to life, drenching your shirt and upper thighs when Mr. Hampton jumps from the noise.
The rude awakening makes you lock in.
The scream. It sounds like...no, you know it came from the west wing...where Gojo is.
And Yuko.
Hurried steps rush past your door, sounds of multidirectional distress and frantic shouts echoing through the corridor—staff members and patients alike sweep into a whirlwind of panic.
You're number one, dropping the scrubber and scrambling to help Mr. Hampton out of the tub, hands shaking as he grips them.
A security guard bursts into the room, face ashen and jaw tight.
"Nurse! We need everyone in the west wing, immediately!" The command is sharp, laced with an urgency you've never seen before.
And immediately feel responsible for.
"There's been an incident."
Without another thought, you wrap Mr. Hampton in a towel, trying your best to assure him that everything is fine when your obviously trembling body says nothing is. His confused gaze follows you as you lead him back to his room, the commotion in the air moving him a lot faster than earlier before you rush back out and head straight for the west wing—where chaos reigns supreme.
The usually pristine floors, normally squeaky clean due to lack of traffic, are now barely visible. Staff members crowd the familiar hall for the first time since Gojo made it his own, filling the space with more bodies than you're used to and making it difficult to find the source of trouble.
Not like you need to. The truth is painfully clear, and it's disrespectful to even pretend you don't know exactly what went wrong.
You push through the masses, clumsily bumping shoulders, your heart beating into your ears and making the world seem quiet as you inch closer and closer to disaster. Dragging imaginary shackles on your feet until you all but collapse once you spot it.
Gojo—barely restrained by guards, straitjacket nowhere in sight—standing absolutely furious.
And for the first time today, time seems to slow down, your mouth suddenly becoming dry when you look past him.
Yuko.
Halfway out the door to his room. Sprawled out on the ground. Bruised, unconscious, and no signs of breathing.
Your hands fly to your lips, mouth agape. Murmurs from the crowd swirl around you before attendants rush to Yuko's side, knocking into your pathetic frame as you stand too frozen to move.
They gently pick her up, careful to handle her motionless body and place her on a stretcher. Her usually vibrant face is drained of color, twisting the dagger in your chest when you spot the subtle rise and fall of her chest. Fighting for breath.
Fighting.
It hits you like a train.
Someone as kind as her, always greeting you with warmth and empathy and capacity every time she sees you, should never have to lift a finger let alone fight for her life. The sight is too much to bear.
Waves of helplessness crash over you and you can't even look at her. Regretting with every ounce of your being that you sent her in your place. Knowing this could happen. Concerned only with your silly wants and needs.
But you're so confused.
The ward should have weakened Gojo—Yuko should have been fine. The only threat Gojo has up his sleeve is mental torture but Yuko might as well be Freud. Her mind is sound, strong.
And that's where you fucked up, forgetting that Gojo's pure strength, especially when he's lost his fucking mind and triggered, is stronger.
Even with his security system in place, the devil is still powerful enough on his own. And like this was some sick and twisted experiment to help you figure that out, Yuko was the one to pay the price.
"I warned, I WARNED YOU!" Gojo's words pierce the overlapping voices like a sword, breaking your shock and drawing everyone's attention to the strange interaction between the two of you. "I don't like to be touched by strangers, Nurse." Guards struggle to restrain him as he pulls away.
All eyes fall on you and the stares are intense. Confusion and judgment.
Why was Yuko here in the first place?Where was Seph’?How’d he get out?How did this happen?
Whether the murmurs are real or in your head, the effect is all the same, and you wish you could just completely vanish. Standing like a deer in headlights—and they're so fucking bright.
But Gojo is brimming with malice and amusement, chaotic energy pulsing from the hellish man and threatening to send sparks flying. Daring someone to be brave and push the button.
But despite his outward display of dominance, the pure rage on his face that makes you feel sick to your stomach about every decision you've ever made, there's something...uncertain lurking behind those fiery eyes.
Something like...apprehension.
Like he knows he's done something wrong.
Yet, words escape you, as if anything needs to or even could be said. But soon, fear and guilt turn to anger, threatening to consume you. Ready to eat you alive and spit out the bones with disgust because you are not a victim.
You have no right to stand here, spineless, shocked, or feeling even a little sorry for yourself. Holding back tears because you know what you've done.
Your fists clench, unsure how to deal with it, but there's fire in your eyes because someone needs to pay.
But then you exhale, thoughts shifting to Yuko as you take a good look around at what happened the last time you decided to take things into your own hands. All of your actions, even now, are rooted in selfishness. Like you've learned nothing.
Pushing down the knot growing in your stomach, you turn away to follow the medics, deciding your friend needs you more than you need revenge. Gojo doesn't deserve any more of your attention, even if it means risking your job or life to turn your back on him.
And there's nothing Gojo hates more than being ignored.
Struggled and strained noises grow louder. Guards tighten their grip on the fuming man whose raw strength outnumbers thousands of them even without his cursed energy.
You look back, their determination to keep him contained making you nervous. You don't anyone else to get hurt and Gojo is fully exploiting that.
You're painfully aware that your decisions have put you in this position, watching the guards' valiant but increasingly pointless effort to prevent Gojo from causing further harm. But it's obviously a losing fight, and the unease on their faces is unmistakably clear.
You wonder why they don't just run like hell.
"Let's go," a guard barks, but Gojo remains fixed in place. Moving a boulder would be easier.
"No, I'm filthy," Gojo protests, smirking, "And if I don't have my bath soon, there will be hell to pay."
Seeing no one else in the room, his eyes are locked only on you, his expression a menacing promise that would send anyone else running for the hills. A look that says, "Try that shit again, and there will be casualties instead of mercy."
Reinforcements are called but it won't be enough. The goddamn military wouldn't be enough. Gojo is...the strongest, after all.
"Stop."
Your cry freezes the room. Everything goes silent.
You hesitate, fuck, what should you do?
What can you do? No one else can suffer—no one else should suffer. Because of you.
Taking a deep, shaky breath, you silently apologize to Yuko, swallowing a lump instead of looking back.
"I'll do it," you say firmly, "Just stop this and...and I'll give you your bath. Please—" The sharpest pang you've ever felt cuts through you. "—just don't hurt anyone else."
Pathetic. But necessary.
He looks into your pleading eyes with surprise, amazement even, before smiling.
The submission in your voice sounds better than anything he could ever imagine. A sweet tones that feed his already inflated ego.
Unsure of how to proceed, the guards exchange uneasy glances.
Gojo's strength is undeniable, that much is evident, and restraining him forever is simply not possible.
You know offering to give him what he wants is risky as hell...but this is your doing. Your mess to clean up.
So you squeeze your sweaty palms and give a decisive nod, signaling at the guards to let him go. They hesitate a second, then reluctantly agree, stepping back and leaving Gojo standing smugly before you.
Closing your eyes, you breathe, hating to have to look at him, but needing to stay strong. For Yuko. For yourself. And everyone else in the ward.
But Gojo's satisfied grin says it all. He's won this round.
You're ready to get the next over with.
The squeaking of your shoes has never been this loud, each echo bouncing off the empty halls and reminding you of how alone you are.
Alone—with a psychopath.
A bit more docile, doped-up psychopath but, the man could probably still rip someone's head clean off if he wanted to.
Still, Gojo despises anything that alters his body—mentally, physically, all of the above. Alcohol, medication, coffee, energy drinks—anything that threatens his need for absolute control.
But he also needed to compromise, and you refused to be alone with him again unless he took something stronger. Otherwise, it would be you, all the guards in the ward, and a pay-per-view premiere of his bath time.
He knew he had to agree because his ass is not for free, but only if you took it as well.
You blinked, hard.
You knew he would be skeptical—hell, it could be poison, and he wouldn’t blame you. But to suggest something so ridiculous?
"Half, then," he said, as if that made his suggestion any less idiotic, but, as you waited for your supervisor to dismiss the insane idea, the back and forth with Gojo actually didn't save you. And you didn't need to ask why. The entire ward shoots daggers at you any time someone walks by now.
Your supervisor reassured you that you'd be fine, the mild tranquilizer would be out of your system by the end of the day, then she patted your back as if to say, "Lay in the bed you made."
It felt unreal, holding the familiar pill between your fingers, one you were used to dishing out but now had to take.
With a quick snap, you broke it in half, holding his half out to the leering man. Gaze unwavering as he leaned forward and parted his lips, waiting. Taking a deep breath, you placed them both on your tongues, in disbelief at your reality, but Gojo's focus was elsewhere, not wasting this prime opportunity to rattle you more and taste you, closing his lips around your fingertip with a quick lick before you snatched away.
But it wasn’t quick enough to avoid the tingles shooting up your arm as you swallowed, no longer needing the water you had set aside, and a confusing mix of emotions churned as the tingles spread throughout your body.
Making good on his promise, he swallowed his own, still watching you with a knowing glint in his eyes. Like he knows what he does to you. And despite just witnessing this man's violence firsthand, you'd give anything to deny that he still has an effect on you. Hating yourself for being more concerned with the way he looked at you and the lingering sensation on your skin than the tranquilizer now coursing through your system.
The guards carefully lead you and Gojo to his private bathroom—they're more there for show than for protection, but you'll take what you can get, and they keep a firm grip on his replacement straitjacket.
You trail behind, mind buried with thoughts of what to say once you're really alone with him.
The door shuts behind you, followed by the familiar sound of a series of locks clicking shut. "We'll be right outside," one of the guards mutters, eyes shifting between you and Gojo, a stereotypical warning lacing his voice, but even he probably doesn't believe it.
"Perv," Gojo sneers and laughs, but you don't find a damn thing funny, the keys to his jacket digging into your palms as you spin around and face him, furious. What would be better? Slapping him, kicking him, or knocking his teeth out. Or should you be particularly evil and just let him sit in the shower, fully restrained and drenched in cold water and you let it rain down. None of the above will do you any good, but it'll show him exactly how done you are with his shit.
"That isn't funny. None of this is funny," it fumes out before you know you're speaking, "You've hurt someone—you hurt my friend." Your rage echos through the vast bathroom.
Gojo's laugh fades, his smug expression slipping from his face. Even you're surprised.
...oh shit.
You're actually confronting him.
The intense words burn through his usual arrogance, leaving a heavy, uncomfortable silence between you.
Then, for a fleeting second, his face does something weird.
Something you haven't seen before as his eyebrows draw together. Is that...regret?
"I'm sorry."
The record scratches. You’re fully positive you must be dreaming.
But when he doesn’t make a joke or even crack a smile, you squint at him.
The words are muttered and reluctant, but there they are, hanging in the air between you.
"It...won't happen again."
And he's serious, the same seriousness you see when his heart races as you take his vitals...but why? Because an apology? From him?? Unheard of.
Gojo has said some nasty things to you in the past that you've immediately scolded him for, but he's never apologized. He'd make a note when certain jokes didn't land, but he never took them back, preferring to cut out his own tongue than to waste his breath being sorry.
You know better than to take anything Gojo says at face value, but...what the fuck??? You almost feel offended.
He has to be joking, fucking with you to dig even deeper under your skin.
Or is he?
Fuck, you don't know how to feel.
He's so good at that, stealing the air back and hanging his words in them. Tempting you to pause and even consider if he ever truly means them. If he could mean them. The mind games are endless.
But then, the familiar cockiness returns and overshadows your doubts, twisting your stomach into knots with that familiar smile of his.
"Now," he says, strutting towards the stalls, "let's get this bath started, shall we?" And his easy, but confident steps call you to follow, a stark reminder of who you're dealing with. But he never knows when to quit. "Or should I really have to suffer for my actions?" and the bastard pouts.
Though you know he's being sarcastic and not to feed into his taunts, you can't help but wonder—what would suffering even look like for someone like Gojo?
Violence? Physical pain? A slow and agonizingly painful death?
But the guy is damn near invincible. What on earth could hurt him?
Whatever it is, it would have to be his absolute worst nightmare, but nothing comes to mind at the moment other than frustration because you have to keep making choices.
Return his energy or keep it professional? Tolerance or revenge?
"Apologizing won't cut it," you snap and gesture at his jacket, wondering how the hell he slipped out of the first one without leaving a trace. "And no tricks, or those guards will be back in here faster than you can tell another lame joke."
Smooth.
Gojo sighs sooo dramatically, like he can see straight through your kitty claws. "Fine, fine. Loosen up," he drags, "I won't cause any trouble. Just don't go getting any ideas now, Nurse." and he winks.
He's insufferable—but despite your smoldering anger, tendrils of doubt still creep in.
Your fingers slightly tremble as you begin to unfasten his straps, but each click feels a bit like victory, a fragile illusion of your 'control'—at least for now—because at the end of the day, Gojo had chosen you to listen to. And after today, he's sure you won't forget there isn't room for anyone else.
The jacket falls with a heavy thud, your eyes immediately scanning his upper body in search of any signs of injury or stress. The cascading bruises on his arms surprise you.
They feel so feeble in your hands; the evidence of him not as invincible as he seems is jarring. Pale, weak, and resting between your fingers. Devoid of the power that makes him so feared.
"Never seen bruises before," he tilts his head, "at least not on me"
You hope Yuko was at least partly responsible for the marks on the villain, but they appear self-inflicted, and he's not as mobile.
Fuck, now you'll have to bathe him too. Still, it's strange, seeing him like this. Even weirder knowing that he could still do damage in this state and you can't shake the feeling of this temporary 'truce'. If it isn't obvious by now, you've learned that Gojo always has something up his sleeve.
Warm water soothes you a bit, flowing over your fingers as it fills the large white tub—pristine, imported from somewhere far away, and standing on decorative claw feet. Your eyes wouldn't stop rolling the first time you saw it, completely annoyed with Gojo's over-the-top alterations and sense of style, but you'd be a liar if you said you never thought about sinking your body into it.
The best you could do was cope with the little porcelain tub in your apartment, and you get lost thinking about how you'd love to take a long, hot, and steamy bath when you get home—if you'll even have the energy. There's no way you'll be leaving early now, not like you deserve it, and you feel sick for even thinking about it. You doubt you'll even have a job tomorrow.
You look so defeated Gojo thinks, sauntering forward and lifting the hem of his shirt. You turn away, focusing instead on the temperature of the water, but the rustling sound of his shirt being pulled overhead and pants falling to the ground warms your cheeks.
His physique certainly isn't lacking, even in his current state, but still, you wonder how such a slim but toned frame could be so...powerful.
Could you be more obvious? Your flickering eyes are so telling, shamefully darting between him and the water, but he catches your gaze from the corner of his eye as if he's read your mind. How cute, he thinks, trying to hide away your thoughts.
Clearing your throat, you toss in his loofah. "Well...go on. It's ready." But Gojo only grins, amused by your attempts to look away despite seeing his muscled frame a number of times. Relishing in the fact that he still manages to fluster you.
"Your shirt," he eyes your top, "Your pants. Looks like you've already started without me."
The water stains from earlier sit beautifully across your chest, not yet fully dry, and drawing his eyes to your semi-erect nips.
His teeth tug at his bottom lip, eyes shamelessly raking over your hefty chest. "Always such a tease, aren't you, Nurse?"
You grit your teeth, cursing the conflict swirling in your stuttering heart, fully aware of the thin line between professionalism and this game of intimacy he refuses to stop playing. Everything is always a game no matter the circumstances. And he loves to push your buttons.
"Just get in, Gojo," you order, and after what feels like an eternity, the silence is broken by the sound of splashing water as he steps into the bath.
He slowly sinks in, sighing at the warmth of the water. Ringlets of steam engulf him, almost making his silky white hair disappear with it.
His arms string over the rim of the tub, a look of relaxation resting on his face as if he's had a long, hard day. You resist the urge to slap it off.
Sudsy bubbles form from the solution you pour under the faucet, hoping to shield your eyes from his body. You've seen enough today and expect the mini-rebellious act to piss him off, but as the bubbles grow, so do his eyes. Picking up a handful, he actually starts playing with them.
"Nice touch," he adds, blowing them right into your face, and you watch with a tight lip as he decorates the bathroom with them, knowing you'll be the one to clean it all up.
He sits a crown on his head and gives himself a bubble beard, nipping your nose with some that you're quick to wipe away, and his pale eyes flutter and settle on you in a curious way.
His arms flex as he leans over the edge—steam-slicked sweat dripping down his face that he doesn't bother to wipe away. "I'm ready for my sponge bath," he says, and if it was hard to take him seriously before, it's damn near impossible now—especially with that ridiculous bubble mustache.
Sickening, him still being so playful, so unserious, at a time like this.
You know Gojo's unhinged, yeah, quote, "mentally unwell and a literal danger to society", but to nearly take someone's life and then make jokes afterward?
God, you feel so stupid, walking around him like you were the shit but with the wrong guard up the whole time, playing right into his hands and accidentally rewarding this grown-ass man who likes to play with suds.
The reality of your circumstances replays in your head, the story of how you ended up here, coddling this monster, and you're still confused as hell as to why it had to be you.
Then again, this is what you signed up for...right? To heal. To help those who can't help themselves. To offer redemption some sort of redemption no matter how sick and twisted the person in need is.
With your loofah in hand, you resist the urge to roll your eyes for the 400th time today and keep your morals in mind. "Keep talking like that and I'll stop, Gojo," you say, reluctantly drenching the tool in soap before proceeding to do your job.
Gently washing his back, he sinks into your touch, closing his eyes and letting his body completely rest on the cool cast iron, breathing. Feeling like he's won no matter what you say because your scrubs feel like magic.
Across his arms and over his broad shoulders, you work your way down, bubbles glistening in your trail as you're careful not to miss a single inch of skin but don't linger too long.
Every now and then, you catch glimpses of raised marks between the foam, and because you hate yourself, your brain absolutely refuses to give you a break. You have to give kudos to his dedication to his craft. The muscle definition, the scar tissue telling stories of battles won, the evidence of his past before corruption—everything it takes to be a hero.
It's unsettling, yet fascinating, the polarity between his beauty and his monstrous deeds.
You've never really noticed because this level of care is another first for you. Usually, Gojo just hops into the shower and takes care of himself while you wait outside—easy and thorough but always taking his sweet time, all while loudly singing some annoying song that inevitably ends up stuck in your head.
But after today, it'll be impossible to trust him or you again, and the hushed whispers as the guards walked you both to the restrooms made that abundantly clear.
The pitiful thoughts seep into the way you hesitantly clean him, moving down to his chest and abs while making sure to avoid more sensitive areas, but the malicious glint in his eyes is unmistakable.
"Whatsamatter, Nurse?" Gojo taunts, feeling you slow around his stomach, "Afraid of gettin' too close?" And you can't believe you're praying for a speedy recovery for this monster so he can handle this himself again.
You ignore his comment and try to get this over with as quickly as possible, feeling humiliated enough as it is and he can sense it, mocking you with a laugh.
"You're so uptight. Can't you just relax and enjoy the view?"
God, please make him shut up, begging for relief so you won't scrub his cocky brow right off his face. "Just doing my job," you mutter, twice squeezing the loofah that feels a little funny in your hand as the soapy water rinses his chest.
It feels heavenly on his skin, but the subtle change in your movements makes his brows furrow. Slowing, more deliberate, heavy as if you're wading through molasses. You keep adjusting your grip but the material feels so strange—the texture almost too soft like it could melt into your palm.
Your breath catches when you brush his skin, not realizing how close your fingers drifted to the edge of the sponge, and though it was only a second, it sends an unexpected jolt through his chest.
The muscle relaxers. How could you have already forgotten, you both think.
But Gojo, ever observant, doesn't miss a thing.
His eyes narrow slightly as he watches you. "Feeling a little funny, Nurse?" His velvet voice teases.
"I'm fine," you lie, though you couldn't be less certain as the muscles in your hands start to relax more than you intended, the sponge gliding over his abs, and down his sides, the rhythm almost hypnotic and making his head fall back. You try to push through the haze, to finish quickly and be free of him, but you're losing the battle against numbness and heightened awareness.
And fuck, he has to bite his lip at your touch that suddenly feels so intense, a sensation too good to keep to himself, and one that you obviously need to stop being such a tight-ass.
You need to loosen up in a way that medicine can't help. And Gojo knows just the trick.
He licks his lips, tongue curling over his canine before splashing a wave of water on you in one swoop.
Saying you gasp is an understatement as the steamy wash drenches your face and front once again, setting a new record as you're hit not once, but twice in a day. The loofah slips from your hand as you instinctively reach up to shield yourself, but Gojo is quicker, wrapping his hands around your wrists and holding you in place.
A scream is ready to surge from your body when Gojo maneuvers both of your wrists into one hand, placing a finger to your lips.
"Ssssh ssh ssh ssh ssh," he hushes, his voice a little too calm, "I'm not going to hurt you." A lone droplet hangs from your eyelash and he swipes it. "I just want you to listen."
You freeze, your nerves on fire as you're forced into close proximity with him for the second time today, inches away from his face that gradually softens.
Though you can easily call for help, you know better than to argue—he knows you know better too but he never felt threatened in the first place. Besides, he can feel your breathing slowing, the effects of the pill combined with his firm hold sending a faint buzz from your wrists to your stomach, and his finger remains on your lips as he brings his closer.
His eyes flicker to your bottom lip. "You're so good at your job, Nurse," smoothly pulling it with his thumb. "That's why I like you. You're thorough but real. Just what I need to keep me sane."
Sane?
"Sane," he repeats like he's heard your thoughts. "Believe it or not, you keep me grounded...like a good boy. Be proud, not a single soul here or anywhere else can compare to me, let alone deal with me, and yet...here you are." He looks at you like you're a marvel. "You can handle that...can't you?"
Words fail you. This feels rhetorical. Why does he keep torturing you like this? What is it about you?
You haven't really thought about it since your first few weeks with him but now he's forcing you to think about the little 'power' he's given you that he can easily snatch back.
What happens if he decides to go further than flirting?
You can't handle it, any of this.
Hesitating, you're unsure of what to say but know it could never be the truth.
Gojo must sense it because he leans closer, his breath warm on your cheek.
"If you leave, I just might crack completely, beauty." A breath you didn't realize you were holding slips. "How do you think everyone else will do against me then, hmm?" Gojo knows he's a prodigy, but still manages to surprise himself sometimes, his eyes lingering over the spots on your uniform soaked through just enough to make the fabric cling—perfect aim.
Ice shoots up your spine from the heat of his unadulterated gaze, but you refuse to let him see you falter, and he can almost feel a prick from the daggers in your eyes.
"Oh, don't be like that," he purrs, thumbs grazing your wrists in a mockingly gentle touch. "We all have our boundaries, right? I thought communication was key in a relationship."
"Let go of me," you find your voice, "We're done here."
His head slightly tilts.
Look at you calling the shots, he thinks. So strong, so very serious.
"God, I can't help it," he breathes, "You're so fun to mess with."
He could laugh in your face, have his way with you, and show you that your resistance means nothing, but instead, he slowly releases your wrists and lies back against the tub. "I know you think about it—there's nothing wrong with a little fun...right?" and though the connection is severed, you don't know if it's the drugs or just him that makes his amplified touch linger as you sheepishly rub your wrists.
Gojo watches you blush red—thoughts you didn't know lived within you rushing to the forefront as if he's pushed a button.
Grimy, raw, unwanted thoughts of forbidden fruit, wandering hands, and stolen touches in the dark, wondering what his idea of "fun" is like under the sheets. With a psycho named Gojo.
You feel like you should throw up in disgust but the nausea never comes, burning hot between your legs instead.
Fuck, you have to get out of here.
You draw a breath, forcing away the torturous daydreams and quickly finish his bath.
"You should rest," you firmly say and pull the plug to let the tub drain. "And don't expect any more favors from me."
He sits up slow, his expression stone-cold as he slicks back his wet hair. Then he smiles. "I promise. Now dry me off?" he quips.
You ignore his request, swiftly handing him a towel before he can flash you. With a gruff, you lower to your knees, beginning to dry the floor of his messes and hoping to distract yourself from your questionable sanity.
The sounds of rustling fabric fill the chamber as he dries off, and once you figure it's safe, you look up to find a nude Gojo. Dripping with bubbles, hair plastered to his derpy face, and toned muscles, all the muscles, presenting themselves in all their glory.
The only things dry are his damn hands.
He throws the towel over his shoulder, sauntering towards you with a wicked grin.
"Well, aren't you gonna help me put this thing back on?" He nods at the jacket he knows is more bullshit than security. "Don't want you getting all worked up again."
The first time your brain registered that Gojo was flirting with you was on your third day as his nurse.
"Well, aren't you a breath of fresh air?" Gojo was sitting on his bed, leaning against the wall. It was the second time he'd noticed how sluggish you looked while tending to him, suggesting with a grin that you must be quite the party animal.
Ha. If only.
You tsked, tossing his bedsheets into the hamper, and assured him that your sleepy eyes and dragging feet were the result of long hours and running on fumes. Having time for fun was just a dream.
"I don't get out much myself," he says, alluding to the situation he's in, wearing sarcasm like a necklace. "I love a good night in as much as anyone else but, I don't know. The stuffiness hasn't grown on me yet."
You tugged the collar of your scrubs—the air did feel a bit thick, like the room hadn't been aired out in ages and you couldn't help but wonder how long he'd been sitting in it—how he could. That alone would be enough to drive you up a wall.
Sunlight flickered in your eyes, and you raised your hand to block it, noticing the small window perched above his chair.
"Let's open this then," you said, walking over and wrestling with the ancient wood for a moment before finally pulling the creaky flap up to the ceiling.
A sliver of your midriff peeked out as you stood on your toes to reach it, but what captured Gojo's attention most was the way the sun rays washed over your face. You scrunched your nose, the breeze sending wisps of your hair to tickle it, and he imagined the feel of your strands between his fingers.
The view was beautiful, you thought, hands gripping the warm bars. Trees surrounded the vast area, stretching out as far as you could see, the pathway to civilization completely covered in dense forest from this angle.
You never realized how high up his ward was—or how long the drop was from here.
"Too bad I'm not small enough to slip through those bars." He rubbed his stomach. "But you know me, 'Mr. BigBack.'"
He joked around as he usually did, looking to trigger your defenses, but your reaction was...odd.
Not only was this the first time anyone cared to do something so simple for Gojo, but it was also the closest anyone had gotten to him without their knees buckling.
The first two days of your trial, the Director had guards posted right outside of Gojo's door, their presence a constant reminder to stay alert and maintain a safe distance from the convict. Gojo was positive the mental barrier would keep a wall between you forever.
But then, you laughed. A real laugh. Snickery and cute. Finding his joke funny instead of threatening.
It surprised him, that sound, so natural and pure without hesitation. And he wanted to hear it again and again and again. "Who knew you could bring so much light into this place?" he sighed.
Later at lunch, you sat with Yuko, having your usual midday catch-up. You never start with yours but she, like most people in the ward then, was absolutely dying to hear about how you were dealing with the villain of the century.
"He's actually not so bad...yet. Corny, but," you took a pondering breath, "He kind of thanked me today?"
She immediately scoffed and waved you off, and who could blame her?
You were an anomaly, Gojo already showed that he was capable of mercy and now he was thanking you??
Being polite was too far of a stretch to believe, you must have been mistaken. But when you gave her the deets on why he'd do such a thing, she nearly choked on her apple. "He said that??"
"Ya?" You patted her back with a concerned look.
"Watch out, Casanova," she teased, clearing her throat with a nervous laugh.
Her comment threw you off for the rest of lunch, but when you thought about it later that night while surfing for new shows, a light bulb went off.
He flirted with you.
Thinking it was just another one of those literal dry-humor jokes or simply gratitude for making his stay a little less crappy, it flew right over your head. You always feel warm inside when you help people so you didn't think too much about it.
To you, it was just a kudos. Nothing more.
But the way Gojo stands in front of you now is everything.
As bold and brash as it gets.
Fuck. Me.
And your body betrays you, sending all of the vulnerable sensations you've been fighting to suppress from your soaking chest, tingling wrists, aching thighs, and heavy breath, straight to your throbbing clit.
Air escapes you and you couldn't feel more conflicted, scrambling to grab your supplies and leave.
Enough is enough. The guards outside can restrain him and escort him back to his room for all you care. You just have to get out of there.
Away from him.
Away from temptation.
Hot, overwhelming, guilty, mentally and physically unstable temptation.
In the quiet of the hallway a level below Gojo's ward, you lean against a wall, taking deep breaths and completely disgusted with yourself.
How are you supposed to keep dealing with this, with him?
This force that keeps pushing and pushing and pushing you to the edge until there's nowhere else to go. You can only imagine the hell the nurses he didn't like went through.
Taking care of him isn't getting any easier, and now you were fucking up and making mistakes.
But you're the only one who can do this. Who must.
So suck it up. Play along, Stop thinking only of yourself. Pretend.
Pretend.
Pretend?
...
What terrifies you the most is the thought that you may not have to.
You keep your scrambled thoughts to yourself when you're called into your Director's office at the end of the day.
You tell him the same story you told Yuko and take full responsibility for what happened, blaming it on exhaustion and needing a break. Swearing to never let it happen again.
By some miracle, you get to keep your job, though your one wish to leave early ended up costing you an hour and a half of unpaid overtime, and almost a friendship.
When you finally get home, you collapse onto your bed—images of the day, the ward, and Yuko flooding your thoughts, refusing to be pushed aside. You tell yourself that it's just the guilt talking, just anxiety gnawing at your edges.
But then there's Gojo.
The most prominent one of all.
Staring you in the face with lifeless eyes and a ghostly smile. Tugging on your moral strings like a puppet.
When you close your eyes, you can't shake the feeling that he's waiting for you, a lurker in the shadows watching and anticipating your every move. Have you become predictable? Now you're wondering if you could do something he wouldn't expect.
Leave it. Leave it. Le—
You're scrolling through your phone on a deep-diving, scouring the web for any info on your tormentor.
His past, his affiliations, anything to tell you who Gojo was, and who he is now.
But the man is an anomaly.
Not much is known about him outside of mainstream news and internet rumors.
He's just this guy that kind of popped out of nowhere in the worst way possible, conveniently on the tail of what could have been the most devastating incident in the history of Tokyo.
The media says he's a hero gone rogue but not much else. They've damned him to hell and that was that. Even the Director disclosed very little about him during your briefing and you weren't allowed access to his files or records because it's all 'confidential'.
Nothing.
The more you search, you less that comes up. Not even silly conspiracy theories that you definitely thought would be riddling Reddit. The longer you scroll, the more you find yourself beginning to question your own mind. Your interest. Sweet little buds of obsession.
Even though you hated taking it earlier, you actually need the pill now more than ever to relax as sleep eludes you and your mind wanders to imaginary scenarios as you stare at the ceiling.
Tomorrow, you'll have to face Gojo again. And the day after that and the day after that and every day after.
In between your nearly non-existent off days, you'll have to see him and decide what face you want to put on.
Because you simply cannot walk away.
After all, he's right—no one else can handle him like you can.
extended angel's note:
when i originally decided to make this into short story, i had no plans on using a y/n perspective. it was just going to feature an OC name i’ve used in stories before, named Persephone, buuuut i decided to wanted to keep it immersive and include no physical descriptors/personality specifics bc i knew i wanted to upload it to tumblr.
to keep it reader-friendly, yk?
alas, Persephone has had her claws in me the entire time i’ve been editing and said with her whole chest that i couldn't just dismiss her like that chile. so i decided changed the perspective but keep her name in place of y/n.
you won’t see it too often in the story bc it’s not super significant or said a lot in general, bUT it is relevant for a certain moment later in the story. you’ll know when you know 🤭.
anyway, hope it doesn't bother you guys too much. and def feel free to mentally plug your name when you see it to keep yourself grounded into the story.
tag list p.1: @reddiamondjazz @kiwismoother @rune1920 @blkkizzat @suguwife
@xerroe @enthyn @gloomuri671 @ressyshi @startatdawn
@khenanadeche @heijihatsutori @inluvkai @ixqiix @strawnanamilk
@rosso-seta @05-simply-06-simping @sims-4lifers @bratidol @rh-tg1
@hyunsuks-beanie @n1vi @luna-v-roiya @neteyamsluvr111 @supsiii
@natadecoco30 @chiyokoemilia @ririoutspoken @kyoxko @strawberrymilkshakes-posts
@nen-nyy @cinnamorochiroll @kazeniya @maybe7tommorow @sxnkuna
@misoyuh @lupitalove @sebastianlover @gojosatorubrainrot @sleepiebunniee
@mmmidkman @theonecrackhead @thathorsegotpoobrain @iveivory @samistar
@yuuan-66 @gojoslefttoenail @soyalovestoyap @winkwonks-world @thebiggestsimpforyou
#bluuharem#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jjk fanfic#jjk imagines#jjk x y/n#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojou satoru x reader#jjk smut#gojo smut#jjk gojo#satoru x reader#satoru x you#satoru x y/n#Satoru Psyche
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Nearly every time I've rewatched Infinity Train Book 3 since I first saw it in February, I saw more parallels and narrative echos, and infodumping my friends about them isn't enough anymore
I figured I should do a post about this one because I don't think I've seen a post about that specific thing yet, and I love this show's writing, and. idk. I just need to praise it I guess
So, the most obvious part first:
Grace became everything she hated about her parents
When Grace mentions her mother in the Debutante Ball Car, it's made pretty clear she's trying to distance herself from her mother as much as possible, and at this point, we realise retrospectively that Grace's room in the Mall Car in episode one was full of sports clothes - it seems she tries to avoid things reminding her of her life before the train. And of her mother. And yet-
She tries to control everyone and everything around her, and makes people do what she doesn't want to do
And she decides what's cool and what isn't
She makes people kneel in her presence, like her mother towers over her in her mind's eye
Obviously she constantly lies to get what she wants, and her dad does that in her tape
When her younger self looks up, she looks right through adult Grace, and it's actually her parents she's looking at! Her younger self is metaphorically seeing her parents where her adult self is standing!! I still can't get over this shot
Also I feel the need to mention her mother has the same voice actor as her in her tape and even if it might be to cut corners in the budget, that feels significant (and to be fair, sometimes you can cut corners while making meaningful choices at the same time)
Now you might think I'd have nothing to say about Simon on that matter, since we don't see any flashback of his life before the Train, and we know next to nothing about his parents. But I think it's very telling that the only actual backstory we get for him is his backstory with The Cat.
Because-
Simon became everything he hated about The Cat
Ok I never see anyone mentioning this, but hear me out
First, we have no idea if Simon knew The Cat was routinely invading people's privacy through their memory tapes, but he sure has no issue doing the exact same thing
But that doesn't stop there. He also collects things obsessively
And makes kids collect things for him as well, by the way
He thinks he's above others, but he immediately switches to victim mode when it comes back to bite him
HE. ABANDONS. A CHILD. WHO WAS UNDER HIS CARE!!
And. Uh. They both dig their heels instead of trying to change, too
Don't get me wrong, on some level I would have liked to know what Simon's parents were like too. I would have liked that a lot. But there's a good chance it wouldn't change anything, because everything we need to know about his background to understand why he's Like That™ is already in the show
But yeah, Grace and Simon both pretend they found freedom on the Train, and both distance themselves from parental figures who are at the source of their trauma, claiming they're different and better than them - and yet they are both subconsciously repeating patterns that caused at least part of their problems and/or trauma in the first place
And since they decided that making numbers go up was good, as long as they stick to that idea, they are bound to never escape from that self-perpetuating loop of harm and trauma
And I love it
And I hate it
#infinity train#grace monroe#simon laurent#samantha infinity train#this has been in my drafts since May
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Revenge possession, part 2
"So what is this game called again?" I asked out loud with Devon's voice.
Devon in the back of our mind:"Dead by daylight. You play either as a survivor or the killer. Depending on the role you have to escape or kill all the survivors."
I chuckled a bit:"You don't see how that's ironic?"
Devon was silent. "I'm so sorry, man. Jesus, I didn't think this through. Haha. Well... you should be good in this game right?"
Me:"Not really. I kinda didn't even know I was being hunted. Your parents just picked me up and then tortured me in the woods. I didn't have much of a chance to even run."
Devon:"Oh... I'm so sorry for that, man. My parents are horrible people."
Me:"Yeah. And I know they killed much more people than just me. That's why it needs to stop"
Devon:"So are you sure that killing them would be the best revenge for all these years of their murder spree?"
Me:"What else can I do? It's not like I had much of a choice. Few days ago I didn't even have a body. Now I co-share yours. Yeah, stealing their sons body is good revenge too, but you're a good person. And I don't want to take over your life."
Devon:"Not what I was aiming for. I honestly love having you here with me. You're like a second voice/brother/best friend inside of me. Oh shit. I just figured. I keep calling you bro. What's your real name?"
Me:"Paul. Took you long to ask, man. Not cool"
Devon:"Sorry, haha. So... Paul. You're like 40 now, right?"
Me:"I would be if your parents didn't kill me. But I died when I was 21 like you are now. So my mind basically stayed 21 I suppose. Except for roaming the country I didn't have much fun through all these years. These past few days as you, just chilling here, playing video games, jerking off and talking to you is the most fun I had over these 20 years."
Devon took control over his body to let go of the controler and to flex his biceps. The sweat hitting his nose.
Me:"What are you doing? I thought we were gonna play?"
Devon:"Nah, just reminding you what body you're in"
Devon:"Look at me man. I have beautiful abs, massive arms. These thighs could crush a melon between them. I appreciate that you picked me and that you like my body, but you gotta do something about this. We gotta go have fun. With another living being."
Me:"Devon... I really am happy how you treat me in your body, but... I don't think we have the same type of dating pool"
Devon:"I don't care whoever you fuck. I'm straight, or atleast I think I am, but very accepting. And if my man inside of me wants to fuck some handsome man, I will be more than happy to help you out. Bros gotta help each other"
Me:"But it's gonna be your body, man."
Devon:"So? You could do much worse with my body and you didn't. Getting fucked or fucking someone in the ass is not so bad."
Me:"Ok? So what place do you suggest?"
Devon:"Gym. We can show everyone what this body can do. Lot of people observe me there, so you can pick whoever you desire"
We arrived to the gym. So many hot and sexy people in sight. Devon took control to do his normal routine. It sucks that I could also have a body like this, but back in the day I wanted to see the world. I wanted to be myself in a world that hates my kind. Twenty years later, the world is so much more accepting. It's not ideal, but wow. How things gave changed
I still can't believe that Devon let's me stay in his body. I mean, look at him. He could be anything, have anyone. And yet this hot piece of meat is depressed with his easy life, being alone most of the time. I guess that's what happens when your serial killer parents move your family every now and then. You don't have any friends and those that you did might already be dead by their hand. How horrible... I honestly can't wait to see them. To look them in their face. With their son's face and to kill them. I hope Devon will forgive me. I know he says he wants to stop them, but it's his parents. I just have to make sure that he will not stop me when the time comes
Devon was just finishing up, when a cute twink approached us.
The guy:"Hey, I hope you don't mind that I was watching you"
Devon:"Nah, it's ok man. You need a hand with lifting?"
The guy smiled. "Oh I do need a hand, I just don't know If I asked the right person"
Devon sat down, looking all confused:"That depends if..."
I stopped Devon mid sentence. "I think that's a cue for me to take over, ok?"
Devon now in the back of my mind:"Sorry man, I usually don't respond to guys hitting on me. Go on. Have fun"
I smiled at the guy and casually finished the sentence
We headed to the showers. The owners must be probably sick with all these guys hooking up here. But we didn't care. We made out passionately. The twins was all over my muscles, as I would be in his place too. He was a bit smaller. That gave me a sense of dominating him.
I stopped and smiled at the guy. "I... just gotta let you know that I am a virgin"
Devon:"What!!! Dude, you never had sex with anyone?"
The guy looked at me from top to bottom. "You? If good looking people like you are virgins, then I have no idea how world works."
I chuckled nervously. It was true. I was 21 when I died, but back then it was much harder to date a find gay guy. Now you can just download Grindr and in a few minutes you got yourself a guy in your bedroom
Twink:"Well in that case we can go to your place and have some fun there. This isn't a very nice place to have your first time, don't you think"
I just smiled and nodded in approval
We were now in Devon's messy room. The guy was really shocked to see such a straight man cave, but didn't say a word. We made out. He took off my shirt soaked in sweat from gym. His lips now kissed my neck and went to over my pecs, down the middle to my waist band. He took my hard dick into his hand, squeezed hard and looked me deep into my eyes. His look was so full of lust, yet I could tell it was superficial. This guy isn't looking for romance. He just wants to be fucked hard. So let's give it to him
I took a bit of control of the moment. I grabbed him by the neck. Turned him around and pressed him against the wall. He was now moaning in pleasure as I was rubbing my hard dick hidden beneath the layers of my clothes against his ass. I was still holding him, choking him.
I pulled of my shorts and his just low enough to get my dick in there. I wanted to push it right in there. As hard as I could
Devon suddenly screamed out from the back of his mind:"Condom dude!!!"
I left the guy, moanjng against the wall, reaching out to the condom on the shelf. I was struggling to find which side to pick to put it on my dick
Twink:"Wait. Let me" it was obvious he jas done it a few times. The condor was on in a matters of seconds. "Do you have any lube?"
Devon intervened again:"Top drawer. Give him more attention, man. You're making it all about yourself"
"Shut up" I said out loud as a response to Devon, but the guy looked confused. "Oh sorry, not you. I'm just nervous. I have lube right here."
The guy went on Devon's bed on his back. His clothes were now gone and his ass was welcoming my dick. His legs wide open.
I pressed lightly my dick with a ridiculous ammount of lube on top.
It went smoothly so I tried to went all the way. This seemed to hurt the twins. "Hold your horses. I'm good, but not that good. A bit slower, cowboy."
I went in slowly. The pleasure got to Devon too. The way this guys ass was tight around the head of our dick was sending our minds to heaven.
I picked up the pace. The twink was moaning in pleasure and in pain at the same time. I grabbed him by the next to choke him. My other arm pressing his thigh.
Twink:"Harder!" I thought I was going as hard as possible, but I didn't think he could take it much more
Twink:"Harder!!!"
Devon:"Oh, jesus. Let me do it" Devon took over. I was in the back of our mind again. Still feeling everything.
Devon was like a beast, but the twink was really enjoying it.
I could feel all the cum building up. Ooh there's gonna be tons of cum.
Devon was biting his lower líp and furiously pounding this guy's ass. Sure, "Straight" my ass.
Devon:"I'm cumming!!!"
Twink:"Fill me! I want it all"
Devon shot out the stream of cum into the condom. The wave of pleasure was so overwhelming. So much, that I lost control for a moment. I didn't know what was happening.
I opened my eyes. Still as Devon. Good. But I was back in control. But I was alone here. I couldn't feel Devon
"DEVON?!?"
Twink:"Right here. You pushed my soul out of my body, dude. If the guy here wasn't as welcoming you would have me erased or something"
Me:"I'm so sorry. I didn't think that would happen."
Devon:"It's fine. This guy's soul is asleep or maybe gone? I don't know. But I can't hear him now. Dude! I could feel my body's orgasm and his orgasm at the same time. I can assure you, that this is definitely the best I'll ever feel. So overwhelming."
Me:"Shit, dude. We gotta figure out how to get you put of there. Or you might be stuck"
Devon:"What if we wait for a bit? I kinda wanna try having sex with my body."
Me:"Kinky. You wanna get pounded too?"
Devon:"Guess I'm not so straight anymore, right?"
After our first fucking session, Devon passed out from all the sex. We still didn't know where this guy's soul was, but we would figure that out soon. I was just happy that I was finally alive. And I even have a boyfriend now? If that's what I can call Devon. Not to put labels on our relationship or anything
I grabbed the first pair of shorts from the floor I could find. Still sweaty from the sex, I headed to the kitchen to get myself a drink of water.
I was interrupted by a dark figure in the corner of the room
"Hello, son"
I was full of rage. But I can't fuck it up now. If I kill him, I won't know where his mom is and that would take me another decade to find her.
"Hey, dad. How was your holiday"
"Oh wonderful. Rome is your mother's favourite place to visit"
I tried to act as much as possible. Devon was in his room in a wrong body, so that wouldn't help me.
"Did you go to Colosseum this time?"
"Oh, we sure did." The father responded. But in the matter of seconds his expression changed. He was now holding a gun pointed at me
"What are you doing, dad?!"
"Devon knows we went to Bahamas"
Fuck. So he knew all along that I'm not Devon. But how?
"Me and my wife found out that the folk like you, who want to have your revenge for what we did, come back as ghosts to make our lives a living hell."
"So I'm not the first one?"
"Hahaha. Of course you're not. The first one came when Devon was 2 years old. Of course he doesn't remember, but that was a nasty one. All the paranormal stuff. We didn't know what we were dealing with back then. But now, oh we are used to deal with you. But possessing Devon is a first. Some possessed us and tried to kill us, but obviously failed."
"How can you tell that I'm not him? Besides the question."
"Oh it's an aura thing. Once you have the experience and a good guidance, you can just tell when a soul isn't in their rightful place."
"Now, tell me. Did Devon put up a lot of fight? Your answer will change the course of your torture."
"Devon is ok. He's in the body of the guy downstairs. It was an accident"
"Sure it was. That would make sure that we couldn't kill you or him, right? We're not so stupid, mister. Although I will not enjoy killing my son, there is no other choice."
"If you kill me, I will go after you even more. I have for the past 20 years and I will even after you die. My soul will not rest until you burn in hell"
"Sure you can do that, but it will take you some time to get out of this thing."
He was holding a wooden object with symbols
"What is that thing?"
"That mister, is your prison. It will bind you inside, until it breaks, or someone opens it on purpose. Which happens rarely if you ask me."
"You're doing a big mistake. Devon is in his room in a different body. Let him atleast get his body back."
"I can't take that chance. Me and my wife have a life to live up to and we won't stop just because our son got himself in some trouble and can't handle it."
"It's your son! You would kill him just so you can continue your killing spree?"
"Oh, definitely. Having a child is a great thing, but taking a life. That's something you won't ever forget about. The control it gives you."
"You're sick. No parent would ever do this to their child"
From the hallway a second voice spoke:"Oh these two are a chatty couple, right honey? So chatty chatty. But we need to hurry up, so get on with this" the mother said towards her husband
I could feel a horrible pain in my chest. Feelings very similar to the ones I felt 20 years ago. This couple was killing me again
"Sorry Devon. We couldn't have done anything" father said
"Devon hates you too!" I screamed out
"You're talking too much" and then nothing.
I don't know for how long this continued. I don't even know what they did with Devon's beautiful body. How they got rid of it.
Soon I started to feel walls around me. Walls? As a ghost I wouldn't be able to. Except if this is their prison that they were talking about.
I opened my eyes. There was only darkness. Nothing else. I looked around and on the other side of my prison was someone sitting, crying.
I got up to approach this person. He looked up
It was Devon. He was crying
"Paul! They killed me. My own mother slit my throat. I told her it's me. But she just killed me and trapped me into thus thing."
"I'm so so sorry, Devon. I never wanted any of this. I wanted revenge for them. But they were ready. They knew. Your father didn't listen to me too. He didn't care. I told him about your soul. But they are more sadistic then I thought"
"Paul, I'm dead. My parents killed me. My OWN PARENTS!"
"Devon, they are horrible people. And we will get our lives back. Maybe not our old lives, but we will. But first we have to get out of here. We're gonna get through this together. Ok?"
Devon collapsed into my arms. I was just glad that I could hold someone even if I was a ghost now. We were gonna get out of here, but I had no idea how
Outside of the ghost trap, the world went by.
Devon's father held the trap tightly as he watched his old house burn. His wife held her head on his shoulder.
"Ahhh, I think I might miss Devon. He gave our life some order"
"He limited us. We couldn't ve ourselves all the time. Now we can. What do you say we go pick up some hitchhiker?"
"Ohhhh, that's a lovely idea. Get rid of that box, it gives me the creeps"
And as the two of them were laughing while leaving, the box was sinking deeply into the river below the bridge until some human would find it.
If Paul and Devon would know what was happening to then right now, they would be devastated.
#male possession#family possession#possession male#body posession#Soul swap#male transformation#straight to gay#Criminal possession
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𝙰/𝙽: This was actually really cute and really fun to write <33 This is apart of @pretty-sparkle-bomb 's Dynamight GZG event so go check out the other works once they're released!! Here's my masterlist!
𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐(𝚜): Nothing really, Bakugou experiences a breakup (not with you) pining, coffee shop AU, I don't think reader's gender is specified but it's written with f!reader in mind <3
𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐(𝚜): CEO!Bakugou x Barista!Reader
Katsuki Bakugou wasn't a man for sweet things.
That was the first thing you noticed about him when he first came into the coffee shop.
The CEO of the well known company known as Dynamight, he came in to the cafe where you worked regularly with a pretty woman you eventually came to realize was his girlfriend.
They were a nice pair, and though you felt a little guilty for it, you couldn't help but check out the CEO himself. He had gone viral on the internet only a year ago for becoming one of the youngest successful entrepreneurs of all time, launching his spicy food globally. With striking red eyes, spiky hair that looked like it would be soft to the touch (not that you would, even though you really wanted to), and his voice, god his voice, you could go on and on about how husky and gravelly his voice was, deep and commanding, one could immediately tell he was a businessman just from his authoritative tone.
However, he was kind. You could see it in the way he always opened the door for his girlfriend, treating her with the utmost care.
They were the perfect couple.
From what you could tell, he was a man of routine. Because every single day, without fail, he'd order the same exact thing. Two medium iced americanos, one with milk, and one without. It came to the point where you'd always start off your morning by making said two cups before anything else, knowing they'd come by to pick it up anyways.
Until one day, he came alone.
He didn't order anything this time, instead just quietly shuffling into the booth he normally took with such a hollow expression on his face it pained you as well.
You weren't close, you and Bakugou, but seeing his gentle demeanor gone in an instant, replaced with such a cold and hard shell made your heart clench.
It was strange, though you felt fleeting moments of attraction for the man (you'd never overstep boundaries though, respecting his relationship (?) ) and yet, you...cared.
It was strange, you thought, how you frowned and told your coworker to cover for you for a few minutes, and this time, stepping out of the routine you were used to.
It was strange, not making the americano you were used to, now trying something new.
Thinking about Bakugou, and what you noticed of him from the past few months of daily coffee visits, you decided that maybe, just maybe, he needed something new too.
Adding a few ice cubes to make the coffee relent its hot temperature, you put a lid on the cup and walk over to his booth, placing it on his table.
"Here." you say softly. "On the house."
Bakugou looks up at you and blinks, surprised, staring at you as if he was drinking you in for the first time ever.
You chuckle awkwardly, unsure of what to do, internally panicking that you overstepping your boundaries.
"You looked a little, uh...downcast? I figured getting something in your system might make you feel better." You smile gently. "I know it's not what you usually order, but I figured a change of pace might be nice."
Bakugou clears his throat and coughs out a thanks, under his breath. It's not much, but you feel your heart warm all the same.
You watch as he sips it gingerly, eyes widening as he tastes the sweet flavor.
"Is this...caramel?" He murmurs, surprised.
You swallow thickly, nervous. "Yeah, I made a caramel macchiato for you..! ...Do you like it?"
Bakugou smiles, a rare, genuine soft smile, as he clears his throat and takes another sip. "Yeah, s'good...m'not usually one for sweet things, but...I think yer right. Maybe I needed a change of pace."
You smile warmly and look back at your coworker, who's calling you over to help out in the kitchens.
You look back over at the blonde apologetically, his eyes still trained on you, nodding in understanding as you tell him that you're needed elsewhere, but to not hesitate to call you if he needed anything.
As you walk away, you don't notice the red eyes still trained on your retreating form.
Bakugou scolds himself. His girlfriend has dumped him only last night and now he can't get your damn smile out of his head.
When you return from the kitchen, you see Bakugou's booth empty, sans a $50 tip and a card that reads "Call me." with a number on it.
You can't help but feel the butterflies erupt in your stomach, trying to tame your flustered face as you quickly pocket the money and card and rush back to your counter, now replaying your interaction with the man over and over in your head.
Bakugou Katsuki wasn't a man for sweet things.
But you? You might be the exception.
#dynamight-gzg#⋆。‧˚ʚ 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖑𝖔𝖚𝖉 𝖆𝖗𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖛𝖊𝖘 ɞ˚‧。⋆#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou katuski x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugou#bakugo katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugou x y/n#bakugou katsuki x reader#bnha bakugo katsuki#katsuki x reader#bakugou x you#bakugou drabble#bakugou fluff#bnha bakugou#mha bakugou#katsuki#bakugo katsuki#mha#katsuki bakugo#katsuki bakugo mha#bakugou#katsuki x you#katsuki bakugo fluff#bakugo fluff
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Just Take It | Jeon Jungkook | Part Eight
Summary: Jungkook's feelings for you have grown immensely and he can't hold himself back from being honest anymore. Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 2.6K~ (I know it's short but it was at a good stopping point and I couldn't figure out how to continue it without a big time skip/harsh break so yeah enjoy this mini chapter 😅) Warnings: No warnings just fluff a/n: Another almost four months and I only have a little bit for you 😔 I'm still trying to figure out how I want to go about finishing this story (yes it's close to the end) so please bear with me 😪 but either way I hope you enjoy!
Ever since I told him last month that I didn't want to be friends anymore and by default telling him that I wanted to be with him things have been different.
We've settled into a new routine with the tension between us no longer burning to the point I shy away but something that feel natural, domestic even.
I guess you could say that's pretty obvious from the fact that we're living together but his subtle touches are welcomed and expected.
Things as simple as his hand on my lower back as he passes by or his arms wrapped around me from behind with his chin propped up on my shoulder or even a kiss on the forehead are all things that we've settled into and it makes me feel loved.
Love is still a scary word for me to think about or even say aloud but it's something I feel towards him, deeply, hopelessly, painfully.
At times I remember that things could suddenly change without warning. That he could toss me out as soon as he gets fed up with waiting like Jared did. That he cou-.
"Ow!" I cry out when he pinches my side, "What was that for?" I whine, the spot he abused already sore. "I've been calling your name for five minutes and you didn't respond so..." he chuckles and I hum, not having the energy to scold him further.
He wraps his arms around my waist and props his chin on my shoulder just like I had been thinking about while spacing out, leaving me relaxing into him, the feeling of being in his arms taking away some of the anxiety that had started to build.
"You okay?" he asks, placing a kiss on my cheek to which I hum again, nodding along with it. "You sure, because you've been stirring your coffee for the past seven minutes" he says, my hand stilling once he points it out.
I take a drink of the completely cold beverage and sigh in defeat, realizing that his words are true.
"I wanted it cold anyways" I mumble and turn to walk over to the freezer to add some ice, Jungkook letting go but still staying close.
"Something's wrong" he says after observing me for another second or two, very used to reading my body language. "Nothing's wrong I'm just...tired" I reply and the truth is I am.
"My internship has been kicking my ass and I don't know, I guess it's all starting to catch up to me" I relent and he takes a turn humming, knowing I'm not telling him the whole truth.
"You know you can tell me anything right?" he says, coming closer and cradling my face in his hands, granting him a sad smile in return.
"I know, but I promise I'm fine. It's just been a long week that's all" he studies my features for a while and decides to take my word for it, seeing that I'm not ready to talk about it. He nods his head a tiny bit before leaning in and giving me a soft kiss on my lips, one that lasts but a moment before pulling away.
"You wanna watch something tonight?" he asks and I smile as my answer, making him chuckle. "I'll make the snacks if you wanna go choose" he offers and I nod, my face still cradled in his hands so he gives me one last kiss before letting go and leaving our source of entertainment up to me.
~~~~
As the movie we've already watched and fallen in love with plays Jungkook notices my absence even though I'm cuddled up next to him, my reactions being minimal to nonexistent.
The parts we always laugh at are met with the sounds of his enjoyment and not mine so he pauses it and waits for me to notice which I don't for a while leaving him even more worried.
"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours Bunny? Did I do something wrong?" he asks and I sit up, needing him to know that he hasn't. "No, no you've been wonderful, better than I deserve honestly" I say, mumbling the last part but of course he hears it loud and clear.
"I'm good to you because I love you and you do deserve it, that's all" he admits so freely that I almost don't catch it. "You...what?" I ask, almost too scared to breathe. "I love you" he says with a crooked smile, clearly enjoying my practically speechless state.
I sit there for a minute, stunned into silence, not having expected that at all but he just laughs. "What? You didn't think I loved you?" he asks, brushing a stray strand of hair off of my face, letting his fingers trail down my neck before withdrawing his hand.
"No...I mean maybe? Isn't it a little too early for I love you's?" I ask, tentative to say it after I had been burned by...
"I don't think so. I mean it might be forward but I've loved you for a long time and I've cared about you even longer. You're someone that has been a constant in my life for many many years and the fact that you've given me permission to hold you, kiss you...well it's something that I don't think I can hold back anymore" he confesses, making me feel as though my heart might explode.
"I-" "You don't have to say anything. Take your time and only say it if you truly mean it Darling. I don't want to rush you into anything you're not ready for" he says, chancing caressing my face again and rubbing his thumb along my bottom lip.
"Come here" he says and pulls me in, having me straddle him not for anything sexual but just for the need to hold me close.
I burry my face in his neck and he rubs my back, knowing that I feel vulnerable since although he's not rushing me, I know he'll be waiting for an answer.
"I'm scared" I mumble against his skin and he hums, understanding the situation honestly more than I wish he did. He witnessed the ups and downs of the relationship between Jared and I and sat on the sidelines, knowing he could treat me better but caring about me too much to take away my right to make my own decisions and choose who I love even if it wasn't him.
"Take your time Bun. You know I'll always be here for you, no matter how long it takes" he reassures me of what I knew, making me nod and wrap around him even tighter, taking his words as genuine but still terrified that this could all slip away at any moment.
~~~~
A week goes by and I still haven't said it and it's killing me.
When he says goodbye he says it, whenever we've been intimate he says it, he even says it randomly just to try to make me smile but my mind won't truly let it sink in until I say it back.
"Baby?" he asks, knocking on my partially ajar door, seeing that I've been taking a little while longer to get out of bed this morning.
I hum and let him come in, trying to assess the state I'm in before saying anything else as he comes and sits down on my side of the bed, looking down at me and placing his hand on my waist. I'm still laying down, not having made an effort to get up just yet which I know worries him as well but he doesn't push me too hard.
"You not feeling well?" he asks, now going to check my temperature with the back of his hand but not noticing a fever of any sort making his theory very short lived. "No, just tired" I say quietly, not having spoken a word since I woke up, my voice still raspy which I can tell he enjoys but doesn't comment on this time.
"You want me to make you something? It's already lunch time and you haven't eaten all day huh?" he asks, knowing the answer but still allowing me the chance to reply. "Yeah maybe something simple like a sandwich?" I request and he nods.
"Want me to get it from that sandwich place we love?" he suggests, rubbing small circles on my waist but I shake my head. "No I'm craving one of your sandwiches" I say making him smile, knowing one of his favorite forms of praise is compliments on his cooking.
"Okay Bun, the usual?" he asks, knowing exactly what I want but asking just in case I'm feeling like something a little different today but I nod my head in approval making him lean down and place a kiss on my forehead before asking if I want him to bring it up here to which I decline.
"I need to get out of bed at some point" I say and he shrugs, "You're allowed to have a lazy day every once in a while if you'd like. I could even come join you later on?" he proposes making me smile, in favor of his suggestion.
"Can we take a nap after lunch?" I ask and he smirks a bit, testing the waters to see what I'm actually asking for. "Just a regular nap this time" I roll my eyes leaving him sighing dramatically before leaving, telling me he'll call me down when it's ready.
Once he's gone the doubt that has been plaguing my mind comes circling back.
'What if he's just saying that to take pity on me? What if he's saying it to rush me into something I'm not ready for? What if-' I groan, cutting off the spiral that I send myself down every time I'm alone and throw the blankets off before going into my bathroom and throwing cold water on my face, glaring at myself in the mirror, daring me to keep acting like this.
He loves me. He loves...me. Why am I so torn up about this? People say it all the time so it's not like it's the end of the world. It's just that...well next time I say it I want to mean it. The next time I say it I want it to be real.
I want to say it to the man that I'll promise to say it to forevermore.
Call me a hopeless romantic all you want but if I'm going to trust someone with my heart again I don't want to regret it...
~~~~
"Here you go Bunny" he says and places my sandwich in front of me. "I love you" I mumble, softer than I've ever said anything before but it makes his movements stutter.
"What was that Darling?" he asks, sitting down in the seat next to me at the table. "I um...I said 'Thank you'" I chicken out and although he wants to call me out on it he doesn't.
"You're welcome baby" he says, his smile a little brighter when he realizes that I'm trying, that I want to say it too but I just don't have the confidence yet.
"Anything for you" he finishes and caresses my cheek before getting up and grabbing his plate along with our drinks.
"You sure you're feeling alright?" he asks, my silence through lunch palpable since whenever he tries to start up a conversation I give him small short answers that make his efforts die in his throat.
"I've just been feeling a little funky that's all" I say and he hums, contemplating his next words which surprise me. "I'm sorry" he says, defeated and honestly quite vulnerable. "Why are you apologizing?" I ask, not thinking that he would have done anything that would require something like that.
"I knew you weren't ready and I rushed things but I wanted to be able to say what I felt for you because it was eating me alive. Having to cut off my sentences and not being able to speak my mind fully, holding you as close to my heart as possible but not being able to tell you that you had it in the palm of your hand already I just...I couldn't do it anymore" he says, his whole demeanor shifted into an almost sorrowful state that I can't hold it back anymore.
I can't keep hurting him like this when all I want to do is scream it for all to hear, even if the thought terrifies me.
"I love you" I say making his head pop up from it's dropped state, then feeling guilty and looking at his lap again as a result. "You don't have to say it just because I did. I just wanted to apologize because I know that that's was why you've been feeling so off lately" he says but I shake my head.
"The thought of giving my heart to someone again scares the shit out of me. After...well after going through all of that the thought of opening myself up again was not something I wanted to do. I will admit I sought you out out of lust at first but as our friendship and eventual relationship began to grow I realized that I cared about you a whole lot more that I should" I say, me now with my head turned down, not being able to keep the intense eye contact he's giving me, hanging on every word.
"I didn't know if you were doing these things for me because you felt sorry or because you truly cared. I know now that doubting your motives was honestly my own self doubt getting the best of me. You've done nothing but love and care for me since the beginning and I haven't let myself fully process the fact that I'm..." I cut myself off and take a deep breath.
"The fact that I'm falling in love with you" and although he said those words first the admission alone has me feeling as though he hadn't, as if he would change his mind now that I reciprocated his confession but he does anything but that, further confirming his true intentions for me as he pulls me closer.
He doesn't pull me in with a carnal passion in mind, he doesn't even pull me in for a kiss, he pulls me in and holds me close, telling me wordlessly that he's proud of me. That he's proud of me for taking that step, for trusting him with my heart, my mind, soul, fully consumed by him without abandon.
"Thank you" he whispers, his face being buried in my hair making me laugh at the ticklish feeling. "Don't make it weird" I say and poke his side making him flinch and hold me tighter. "How can I not? The woman I love loves me back" he chuckles and when I try to pull back he squeezes me tighter.
"Just let me have my moment" he huffs making me sigh and return his crushing embrace. "I love you" he says making me burry my face into his neck, mumbling it against his skin in return.
"Nah nah nah, say it like you mean it" he says, pushing me back just enough so he can look at me. "But I do mean it!" I roll my eyes, playing into his pouty act. "Come on, say it!" he says, pushing me back and forth, making me sway.
"I already said it, why do you need to hear it again?" I chuckle when his pout gets deeper. "Okay fine" I give in making his brows raise at my quick defeat. "I love you" I whisper in his ear and then run away, his hold on me having loosened from pure shock of my honesty, knowing now that I truly truly mean it.
"Get back here!" he scolds once he's come back down to earth, the surprise replaced with determination, his intentions being to not let me go til sunrise.
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i was wondering if u wrote for any of the euphoria characters u said u write for any fandom so im wondering if euphoria is one of them and if it is could u do a friends with benefits fic for either elliot or maddy pls! if not then pls ignore this! i hope everything is going well!
Friends with Benefits (M.Perez x F!Reader)
Warnings: Smut, fingering, thigh humping, oral, face sitting, pet names, praise
Notes: Of course I write for Euphoria Maddy's one of my favorite characters although I love Elliot I gotta write for my girl especially since she's played by Alexa Demie.
Word Count: 1,638
If I'm being honest, the relationship happens so naturally that the two of you didn't give it a second thought or talk about it. You like being Maddy's friend. The two of you get along so well that you do anything together. And you guys are just so close and comfortable, you guys cuddle, do each other's hair, give each other pecks on the cheek, change in front of each other, even letting Maddy straddle you as she does your makeup or your eyebrows. You guys are just the best of friends and you love that.
But you can't deny any of the feelings you have for her. She just reels you in with her personality and obviously her looks. She's an honest person, she keeps everything real and speaks nothing but the truth. But you can't stop the dirty and vulgar thoughts every time she bends over. You can't stop the way your body reacts when you guys are cuddled up and you feel her body press up against you and her leg wrapping around your waist.
I mean yeah, it's embarrassing and you'd feel guilty for thinking of your friend in such a dirty way. You feel guilty for staring too long when watching her change into some more comfortable clothes before your girl's night begins. The night starts off with Maddy straddling you and doing her makeup look on your face so you two could match and take a couple of pictures. But this time it was different, at least it felt different. She did her usual routine on you, cleaning your face and putting some moisturizer on you. But it felt like her goal wasn't to do your makeup.
Maddy, very subtly, grinded against your thigh. You didn't notice anything until you slightly moved the leg that was under her. She stifled a moan and acted as if nothing happened. Your eyes were closed, enjoying the moment between the two of you but it was hard to keep them closed when Maddy continuously rubbed herself against you. You tested the waters, moving your hands up her hips and moving your leg against her.
She placed her brush, which didn't have anything on it, down on her bed. Placing her hands beside your head. "Sorry.." she whispered, causing you to smile and open your eyes, looking up at her, "Don't apologize, lemme help you."
She hesitated, she could just get off of you right now and hope to calm herself down. But before she could decide what to do you move her hips, and she feels dizzy at the way you're looking up at her, maintaining eye contact as your grip on her hip tightens. "Please, mami?" you ask.
She thinks it's a joke. Maybe she's meant to laugh and tell you that friends don't do all that. But in all honesty, she's been feeling so needy and her pussy is just soaking and begging to be touched right now. "You want to? You don't have to just because I'm acting like this."
"Yeah, plus its been a while since I've done anything. Kinda craving it." you chuckle. Maddy nods her head and smiles before her lips form an 'o'. You're moving your leg against her and the friction is driving her insane. She leans her head down in the crook of your neck, whimpering and moaning in your ear turning you on. It doesn't take long for her movement to quicken and for her to cum in her shorts. She loved that, it's so nice with you, especially how gentle you were with her.
She already likes you, and now she just got off from riding your thigh, maybe she'll get a chance to get eaten out by you or maybe even fingered. Fuck, she wants a lot from you now.
She barely even caught her breath from her orgasm before you suggested something.
"You think I could eat you out too?"
That's how she ended up on your face, her fingers in your hair and her hips bucking against your nose. Your chin drenched in her juices and your saliva. You're eating her out as if you were starving. She's trembling and whining your name as she cums and shakes for a second time.
Neither of you needed to mention anything, with just one look and a kiss you guys agreed to become friends-with-benefits. It's perfect for the two of you, you really like her, being friends with her, and you like to fuck so it's a win win for you guys.
Three days go by and Maddy is pulling you from your friend group and to an empty classroom. She's so riled up and clearly upset from something, or someone. You ask her what happened while kissing her neck and pulling her skirt up. She goes on a rant about something having to do with Cassie and Nate. You give her a "Mhm.." while pushing her panties to the side, and sliding a finger up and down her folds.
"Then while I was at her house- shit..Rue comes in and.." she trails off, eyes rolling back as she forgets her train of thought. "What happened when Rue came in, baby?"
"Um..C-Cassie said some nice things like..telling her to hah take her time with recovery..a-and.." she can't concentrate when your fingers are moving in and out of her pussy. "I'm listening."
"Rue asked her how long she's been fucking Nate..and turns out they've been fuck- fucking for a while." she chuckled, hands gripping your shoulders as her leg rested on your hip. You worked your fingers in and out of her, curling and hitting that one spot that makes her eyes roll back. Her moans grew louder as her orgasm approached, you used your free hand to cup her face and pull her in for a kiss, muffling her moans.
Her hips bucked against your hand, her clit getting some friction as she came in your palm. "Well, it's a good thing you don't have to worry about him anymore. Right?" you smiled, pulling her close and allowing her to catch her breath.
The two of you start experimenting more. Trying all of the things Nate never wanted to do with her. Learning and exploring more of each other's bodies. The best part is that there aren't any secrets between you. You're best friends after all, you tell each other everything, and do everything.
Maddy mentions how Nate, or any guy she's been with hasn't treated her as good nor have they treated her good in bed when you have her on your face as you eat her out for a whole hour. And it makes your heart flutter to see her so happy all because of you!
The whole friends-with-benefits thing feels so easy and natural. Maddy finds you, whether it be in the halls or your house, she tells you what got her so stressed or upset, and you fuck her right there against the wall or door and afterward on your bed or on a desk. And you won't stop until she squirts and cums all over you, becoming a mess under you.
The two of you cuddle for a movie marathon, and your hand just so casually and naturally slips into Maddy's shorts, rubbing circles around her clit while her hand slips into your pants as she slips two of her pretty fingers in. The movie long forgotten as you guys focus on cumming rather than the ending of the movie.
When you're stressed and exhausted from the assignments piling up she slips under your desk and pulls your pants down along with your panties, eating you out and slowly fingering you until you cum all over her fingers. She licks her fingers clean and massages your inner thigh telling you that you'll do fine and that you'll pass the semester.
You guys haven't noticed that you're practically a couple already. The kissing, the dates, the sex, the "I love yous", everything should've given it away as well as the way you guys look at each other and the fact that neither of you seemed interested in dating someone else.
You guys were invited to a party together, which is a normal thing for friends to do. Although, you admit that the way you guys dance with each other now is a bit different than before. But it's perfectly fine, plus neither of you mind if people know that you guys are friends-with-benefits.
Only thing that's new is when she turns to you and kisses you right there in the middle of the floor, and it makes you feel happy that you're the only one she kisses. You can't pull away from her, she's intoxicating, she makes your mind spin and heart flutter.
The only person who really asks about the two of you are Lexi and Kat. They walked into the kitchen and found you pressing Maddy up against the fridge with your tongue down her throat and her hands gripping your shoulders and pulling you closer by the back of your neck.
"What the fuck?!" Kat exclaimed, visibly confused, "You two are dating?" Lexi asked.
"No?" you answered, though it sounded more like a question. "Then what is this?" Kat asked, "We're just friends, duh." Maddy laughed, "Bullshit." Lexi laughed. "We are! We just make out and fuck sometimes."
"Uh huh.."
"Oh shit, you guys are dating?" Rue asked, walking in on the scene. "It was about time, you guys have been practically married since you guys met." she chuckled, filling her red solo cup with more alcohol and leaving, taking Lexi with her, Kat following.
"I didn't know we were married. But I like it, how about you?" you smiled, leaning close to the girl, "I don't mind being married to you." she smiled kissing you.
#fluff#smut#smut smut fic#smut smut smut#smutty#gn reader#maddy perez#maddy perez smut#maddy perez x reader#euphoria#euphoria smut#alexa demie
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𖦹°。⋆ Just an accessory (tsukishima kei x reader)
⟡ request: hiiiii ! i really like all the stuff u write for tsukki and various other haikyuu boys and was wondering how they'd react to u being upset with them ? like maybe the night before they invite u to celebrate a win with their team but barely paid any attention to u all night so u decide to go home early or just end up going separate ways at the end of the celebration ?
⟡ cw: angst, slight comfort at end but mostly angst, lmk if i missed anything
⟡ a/n: this is going to be multiple parts because i don't like writing small drabbles in one thing but i have two other characters in mind for this
Tsukishima would be pissy at first and say you’re overreacting but would feel bad about it eventually
“Okay, what’s your problem?” Tsukishima asks as he barges into the bathroom where you were doing your morning routine.
“What do you mean?” you ask back as you stare at him with a blank expression through the mirror.
“I mean why did you get out of bed without saying anything or even looking at me? Wait no scratch that what was up with you leaving early last night? I left to go get us drinks but by the time I was back you were nowhere to be found and I had to hear from Kyotani that you said you were going home early and that you looked like you were upset!” your boyfriend shouts as you as you finish your routine and after a few seconds of silence you turn to look at him.
“Are you even going to ask why I was upset or looked upset?” you huff out before pushing him out of the doorway “Because right now it just seems like you’re mad I wasn’t there to be your accessory.”
“What the hell are you even talking about- my accessory?”
“Yes, Kei! An accessory!” you shout back at him as you make your way to the kitchen.
“What does that even mean, [name]?” his tone sounds more annoyed with every word.
Setting down a glass cup, you look up at your boyfriend, tears starting to well in your eyes “It means you barely talked to me or included me in any conversation last night,” you sniff out, holding back tears “I felt like I was just there to fill space next to you and not actually there to be with you.”
Tsukishima's eyes widen slightly, caught off guard by the sudden sadness. “What are you talking about? I was celebrating with the team. You know how important the win was.”
“Celebrating with the team while also ignoring me the whole time,” you reply, voice trembling. “I felt like I wasn’t even there, Kei. You spent the entire time talking to only them, and I was just… there.”
He rubs the back of his neck, clearly struggling to understand. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I just... I didn’t realize.”
“That’s the problem,” you say, voice softening. “You didn’t realize. You never realize. And it hurts.”
Tsukishima sighs, his frustration turning into anger. “You’re overreacting. It was just one night.”
“Just one night?” you repeat, feeling more hurt. “It’s not just about last night, Kei. It’s about how I feel all the time when we are with other people. It’s like I’m not there and it really hurts.”
His expression is a mix of confusion and irritation. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I shouldn’t have to, Kei,” you sigh, wiping away a tear. “I want to be with someone who sees me, who notices when I’m not okay. I want to feel like I matter.”
He rolls his eyes, clearly still annoyed but this time, with himself. “You do matter. I’m sorry, I didn’t think about how you felt. Can we talk about this? Really talk?”
You take a deep breath, looking into his eyes. “Yeah, we can talk. But things need to change, Kei. I can’t keep feeling like this.”
“I understand,” he says, his voice finally coming to a soft tone. “I’ll do better. I promise. Just... don’t leave without telling me what’s wrong next time, okay?”
You nod, feeling a small sense of hope. “Okay. But you have to promise to really try.”
“I promise,” he says softly, pulling you into a hug. “I’m sorry for making you feel like a prop. You’re so much more than that to me.”
You hug him back, hoping that the next time, things have changed.
#tsukishima angst#tsukishima kei angst#tsukishima kei x reader#tsukishima x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x reader angst#haikyuu x reader fluff#tsukishima fluff#tsukishima kei x reader fluff#tsukishima x reader fluff#tsukishima x reader angst#tsukishima kei x reader angst#haikyuu angst#haikyuu fluff
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home is wherever you are
JAKE "HANGMAN" SERESIN x FEM READER
summary running into your ex leads to second thoughts and second chances
warnings angst, fluff, erm idk swearing ??
a/n guys...i miss my ex...it's taking ALL my self control rn to not text him and ask if we can run it back...
masterlist
You'd long since convinced yourself that the past was just that—past. The months that followed the breakup with Jake Seresin had forced you to move forward, to stop replaying the same arguments in your head, to stop wondering if things might have gone differently. You’d started rebuilding your life, finding comfort in new routines, new faces. But then there he was.
Jake Seresin.
Not just any wedding guest—his presence feels like a cruel reminder of everything you thought you’d moved on from. His cocky smile hasn’t changed, but there’s something about the way he looks at you now that stops your heart for a moment. The hunger in his eyes is familiar, but the uncertainty and hesitation are foreign and somewhat heartbreaking.
You knew he would be there, you just didn't think it would be this painful seeing him.
You still remembered the night you broke up, clear as day.
—
You've been sitting in silence for the past fifteen minutes, the weight of your thoughts weighing heavy on your chest. Jake leans against the kitchen counter, arms crossed. He looks like he'd rather be anywhere but here, and you hate him a little for it.
"I don't think you understand what I'm saying. You're never here. I barely see you." You finally break the silence, voice dripping with exasperation and exhaustion.
"Well, I'm here now." Jake's bored expression causes your anger to bubble over.
"Yeah, but you're never fully present. Even now, when we're arguing! You're always 'too busy' for anything that matters, and I've been more than understanding! Is that how you truly see me? Something that you can put off until you finish doing whatever you deem is more important?"
His expression hardens, jaw tensing. He grits out, "You knew what I was when we started this. You knew what being with me meant."
"I didn't think being with you would mean always being the second fucking choice. If I'd known, we wouldn't be in this situation right now." You retort harshly.
Eventually, your expression softens. But you're not caving. You say, "I can't do this anymore, Jake. I can't keep waiting around until you're ready for more. Maybe when you're ready, we can try again. I'll come for my things tomorrow."
His eyes search your face for any indication that this is just a cruel prank you're playing on him. You're not actually breaking up with him—right?
You stand up, grabbing your keys on the way out. He follows you like a lost puppy as you walk down the hallway and put on your coat and shoes. He watches as you leave, a numb ache in his chest as he sees the front door close behind you.
—
You push the memories of that night out of your head.
There's no use dwelling in the past, you tell yourself.
But damn, did he look good in that suit, hair tousled, sporting his signature cocky grin. You force yourself to look away, but not before he catches you staring.
Through the corner of your eye, you see Bradley and Jake make their way over to you. You beam at Bradley, saying, "Hi, Roos. Long time no see."
Jake watches as you and Bradley make conversation.
The way you don't look at Jake once doesn't go unnoticed by him.
The way your whole body is tense, your demeanour guarded, doesn't go unnoticed either.
And he's absolutely crushed to see how distant you've become.
Your genuine smile when talking to Bradley turns into a polite, forced one when you turn to talk to Jake, and it's like you're stabbing him in the heart and twisting the knife.
And that makes him even more desperate for a chance to fix things.
Eventually, Bradley wanders off to talk to other mutual friends, and the small talk between you and Jake gets to a point where it's painfully obvious that you're both struggling to keep up.
"It was nice to see you, Jake. Have a good night." You finally decide to leave, standing on your tiptoes to press the lightest kiss to Jake's cheek before disappearing into the crowd.
He wants to follow you, but the dance floor is just too crowded.
So he just spends the rest of the night searching for you in the crowd.
—
He finally corners you on the balcony.
It's getting late, guests are tipsy and dancing. You needed a breather so you went out onto the balcony, not expecting to have Jake follow you out.
Jake’s footsteps are heavy behind you as you step onto the balcony, the cool night air biting at your skin. You didn’t want to face him right now, not with everything that’s been left unsaid between you. But the sound of his voice, sharp and urgent, breaks through your thoughts.
"Wait."
You stop, but you don't turn around. You can't face him. Not like this, not now.
"Don't do this," he says, his voice softer now, but you can hear the edge of panic. "I can’t let you walk away like this."
You finally turn, but only slightly, enough to see the way he's standing there, jaw clenched, eyes searching you like you're a puzzle he's trying to solve.
"I don’t know what you want me to say, Jake," you reply, the frustration thick in your voice. "You say you’re sorry, but it’s never enough. You show up for everyone in your squad, Mav, Penny, but when it comes to me, I’m always an afterthought."
"Please, babe, let me just try. Give me another chance. Let's try this again. I'll be better, just, please." Jake's expression is pleading, desperate. You rarely see him like this.
The genuine remorse in his eyes is enough for you to sigh and cave, nodding a soft yes.
He immediately rushes forward, pulling you into a hug. You'd forgotten what it felt like, having your bodies fit together like two puzzle pieces. You bury your face in his chest, one of his hands resting on the small of your back, the other tangled in your hair.
The two of you stood there for a good ten minutes, Jake holding you while the cool night air caressed your face.
—
In the weeks that follow, Jake makes a conscious effort to show you that he's able to balance his priorities.
He hangs out less at the Hard Deck, spending more time with you instead.
He turns down a high-profile assignment which would've required him to be away from home—away from you.
He makes sure to have dinner with you as much as he can, and he brings you 'just because' flowers every Sunday.
And you're touched, of course, but there's still a part of you that holds doubt. You're not sure if this change in behaviour is merely temporary, or if Jake is willing to make permanent changes in order to work towards building a life together.
—
It's a cozy Friday night in.
You and Jake are lying in bed, his arm around you as you rest on his chest. He traces circles on your arm while you listen to the rhythmic rise and fall of his breath. The both of you aren't doing anything, just enjoying each other's presence.
There’s a stillness in the air between you—neither of you feeling the need to fill the silence with words. Just being together feels like enough, and for the first time in a long while, everything feels right.
You breathe in deeply, letting the warmth of his presence settle around you. There’s no rush. No pressure. Just the quiet comfort of being close to each other, as if the world outside doesn’t matter for a while.
Then Jake speaks, his voice low and a little hesitant, as if testing the waters. "You know... I always thought flying was my home."
You look up at him, meeting his eyes, but he’s not looking at you. His gaze is focused on the ceiling, his thumb still tracing soft patterns on your skin. There’s something in his tone that makes your heart skip.
He continues, quieter now, as though confessing something he’s been holding back. "Flying’s always been my home, my dream... but I’ve learned it doesn’t mean a damn thing if you’re not part of it." He pauses for a beat, his voice thick with emotion. "You’re my home now. Home is wherever you are. Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be."
You feel his arm tighten slightly around you, as if he’s afraid of losing you in that moment, but you don’t pull away. Instead, you lift your head slightly, catching his gaze. "Jake…" you begin, your voice softer than you expect, the words feeling fragile as they leave your lips.
"I’m not going anywhere," he adds quickly, as if reading your thoughts. "I just need you to know that. I’m not asking you to give up anything. I’m just... I’m asking you to be with me. Wherever we go, whatever we do. Together."
You realise that Jake is actually serious about this. Serious about trying to work towards building a life together, in which you feel treasured and prioritised.
You realise how hard he's trying.
"Together." You echo, just like a promise.
#📓—leawrites#top gun maverick#tgm#jake hangman seresin#jake seresin#jake seresin x reader#hangman x reader
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barely delusional megumi, itadori, nanami.
-> tokyo revengers & haikyuu version
megumi fushiguro.
life as megumi is simple. he is simple. his routine never over-complicates itself nor will he allow it to do so. on top of that, he will always be sure to attend every plan he agreed upon — well, all except for one. you see, the prior plan before the plan with itadori and nobara had slipped his mind. it's only when he checked his phone for the time is when he remembered.
the trio planned for an evening-to-night hangout session. first, dinner. dinner is important. second, an arcade session. third, amusement park. a well-thought plan that can finally make its way out of being just a "plan." kind of.
"hey, are we still on for the arcade later?" itadori asks, licking the drips of his popsicle on his forearm.
megumi opens his mouth only to close it back. he takes a popsicle from the bag, busying himself with the snack, he replies, "can't, i promised my girlfriend i'll sleep over tonight."
silence. it's a sudden moment of silence. the kind of silence before something goes south.
one, two, three...
"YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!?"
"YOU PROMISED YOUR WHO?!"
both itadori and nobara voice their astonishment in unison. it's not every day you hear megumi speak about anything bordering romance. megumi, on the other hand, doesn't answer. his full attention is on his popsicle. indeed, he does feel the two pairs of eyes on him but will he respond to their shock? yes, actually.
"i said what i said," he shrugs, not understanding why it's so shocking.
nobara's jaw hangs loose. her popsicle already puddled on the ground. slowly, she regains her mind and forms a sentence, "you — you're not lying, right? is this megumi? FUSHIGURO megumi?"
itadori nods behind her, showing his support for her actions. megumi rolls his eyes, clearly he doesn't like the way they think he's a loser.
"yeah, yeah. when do i ever lie?"
"oh, you're right," defeated, nobara agrees. there's not a single memory in her mind where megumi lied.
itadori yuuji.
he's bent over gasping for his life. a few seconds ago, itadori ran three floors down the school just for a question. it's an important question and they — gojo and utahime — will answer.
"guys, what do you do when you want to buy someone a gift but that someone is your girlfriend but you're not sure if she'll like it but—"
gojo drops his self-made paper plane, turns his head to the boy and begins, "pause right there yuuji. repeat that again."
slightly confused, itadori repeats himself from the beginning, "what do you do when you—"
yet again, gojo cuts him off, "NOT that part. the one after."
confused, he repeats again, "but that someone is your girlfriend but—"
gojo claps his hands together, sitting up straight and pointing a finger directly at itadori. "THERE — THAT PART."
utahime rubs her forehead, trying to calm down an incoming headache at the elder's childish behaviour. she sighs loudly, shooting a glare at gojo before turning to itadori with a small smile. "what gift do you have in mind?"
itadori, not remembering the gifts he had in mind, starts counting on his fingers. he knows he thought of roughly five gifts, but the question is what were the five gifts.
"uh, i think i had a five-hundred-dollar gift card in mind? don't remember the price but it's for makeup, skincare, and all that stuff!!" he replies, scratching the back of his head in slight embarrassment.
"that's a bit expensive. are you sure you'd want to buy it? if it comes from you i'm sure she'll love it either way," utahime attempts to comfort him. she's a tad bit concerned at the price but hey, love is priceless.
"mhm! it's our anniversary soon, too," itadori nods, feeling his nerves calm a little.
gojo, however, needs to put his input or he'll go crazy. slapping both palms on his thigh, he changes the tone of his voice to a serious one, "son, let me introduce you on the top ten ways to make a woman happy with money."
"gojo, no. don't."
nanami kento.
a true businessman has now ended his working hours. at 7:30 p.m on the dot, he's now in his office preparing himself for his activities at 8:00 p.m. unknown to him, a little pesky fly slides himself into his office. obnoxiously chewing on some lays chips, gojo questions nanami's new attire, "you look oddly handsome, nanami. you got a date?"
refusing to meet eye-to-eye with gojo, he responds to him, "i do, actually. with my woman." turning around, he still avoids eye contact with gojo. rolling his sleeves up to his elbow, nanami walks to his desk, searching for his wristwatch.
once content with his attire, nanami finally looks at gojo. his visual makes a vein pop out on nanami's forehead. crumbs all over his fingers, hair scattered everywhere, mismatching indoor shoes — just irritating.
"if you excuse me, gojo, i have somewhere to be. exit yourself," gesturing to the door, nanami expects gojo to leave and so he does. just one step away from being out of nanami's office, gojo turns around. something's off.
"yeah yeah, go on with your woman — wait," he begins, eyebrows raised in suspicion. "you have a woman? like, seriously?"
paying no heed to the fly, nanami makes his way to phone you a call. once you answered, he brings the phone to his ear, "i'll be there to pick you up in ten-minutes, okay? ... yeah, i love you too."
"NO WAY," louder than sirens, gojo gasps at the confession and return of love. his once-crumbled fingers now cover his mouth.
nanami, already annoyed by his presence, puts his finger on his lip, motioning to gojo that he needs to shut up.
#. ae-generated: jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#megumi fushiguro x reader#megumi fushiguro fluff#itadori x reader#itadori yuuji x reader#itadori fluff#nanami x reader#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento fluff#jjk fluff#jjk drabbles#jjk x you#jjk x fem!reader
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pls give us some blurb😔 I'm so sad today😔😔😔
Here is my revised preview for the next part!
B
"Hold him close to your chest, or he'll jump out of your arms. Here—like this."
Blue gently cradles the rabbit against her chest, then carefully tucks him into Ari's arms, guiding his hands to scoop under Grim's fluffy rear. She can't help but find it amusing that the boy who had taken her riding on such a large animal yesterday looks so wary holding a harmless bunny. A giggle bubbles up, and she bites her lip to keep it in.
"He's so... squirmy."
Blue keeps her hand on Grim, reassuring both the rabbit and him. "He's just ready for his breakfast. Want to help me feed him?"
"Sure."
Blue leads Ari to the hutch where the other rabbits are. She explains her morning routine, showing him how to supply the rabbits with enough grass, leaves, and berries to keep them healthy and plump. Not long ago, she was explaining this to Twix—the very person she forgot to say good morning to in a rush to find Ari outside. This time around, she wonders if Ari is genuinely interested or just being polite. She finds herself stealing glances at his face, studying his expressions perhaps longer than she should. His almond-shaped eyes and dark pink lips catch her attention.
He's cute.
It's not the first time the thought has crossed her mind since these strangers appeared. Cute like the men in her magazines, though he's not quite a man. Not in the way Ghost is. But he's taller than her by a head and two years older, evident in the notch on his throat and the deeper timbre of his voice.
But it doesn't matter. They are only here for a few days.
Blue closes the hutch and rocks on the soles of her boots. "Well, that was probably boring, huh? We could, um, go hunting if you want. Or to the pond. It's fun to swim there. Or maybe—" She pauses, mentally sifting through the limited activities available, frustration creeping in as none of them seem particularly impressive.
"This wasn't boring," Ari says with a chuckle. "Now I know rabbits are just as friendly as horses."
"They are... except when Grim gets mad. Then he can be a bit of a jerk. Like if you accidentally step on his tail."
"I'd be pretty pissed if someone stepped on my tail, too."
"You don't have a tail."
"It's just a joke."
"Oh..." she fidgets with a strand of hair. "Right."
"The pond sounds good. It is fucking hot." Ari blows out a breath and swipes at the back of his neck.
"I know. So hot. Hot as balls."
Ari raises an amused brow. "Yeah, uh, hot as balls. Are you allowed to go by yourself, or do we need to ask your dad?"
"I get to do what I want," she lies easily with a shrug. "Buuuuut, we can ask Twix to go with us."
As long as Twix is with her, she suspects she can get away with not asking Ghost, who luckily is hunting with his old captain. It's not that he seems distrusting with these people as he did those first few months with Twix. Rather—she isn't thrilled about him knowing every little thing she does. She's never had anything just to herself.
Twix is sitting on the porch, looking rather deep in thought as she skins a squirrel. Her hair is long, curtaining her face. When Blue asks if she wants to go to the pond, she agrees easily, claiming she has been meaning to cut her hair anyway with the encroaching warmth of summer. Nereida joins, too.
The pond water is cool to the touch. Ari rips his shirt off and jumps in without even a second to waste. Blue usually swims in her underwear and shirt, but she hesitates with her thumb in the belt loops of her jeans. She didn't consider that he would see her in her underwear.
A soft touch to her shoulder. It's Twix. "Want me to grab you shorts real quick?"
"Um... yes. Yes please."
She changes into the shorts behind a tree. There is an odd pit in her stomach when she gets in the water. She doesn't quite know what it is, but it's similar to how she feels when she's scared sometimes. Ghost always tells her fear is a useless thing. It doesn't keep you alive. So she ignores it, shoves it down deep, and swims over to Ari with a purposeful splash that even wets Twix, who sits at the edge sharpening her knife.
"Damn. That's gonna cost you."
A splash is given in return, and then they are playing. High noon bounces shimmering light off the water as she tries to keep up with him, but at one point he sneaks up on her and she ends up with a mouthful. Nereida spends her time picking at some bunches of rosemary and Twix cuts her hair. But Blue doesn't notice any of that too much. When the water stills and they pause to catch their breath, Ari climbs onto a rock and shakes out his wet curls. She is quick to find a perch beside him. Absentmindedly, she pinches the bottom of her wet shirt to keep it from sticking to her chest.
"It's nice to have some place to swim so close by. Back at our old camp, there was lake but it was a few miles away, so my mom rarely let me go."
"I'm sorry, you know. About your mom. Mine is dead, too."
He half-smiles. "Thanks. I don't think about it too much anymore. My uncle and I have always been close so it helped to have him there." He nudges her shoulder. "You're damn lucky to have such a cool dad, huh?"
"Ghost?"
"Yeah, that guy is a beast. My uncle says they called him Ghost because no one could ever see him coming before suddenly, they were dead."
"Oh, yeah, he is super cool," she quickly agrees. "He has taught me a lot."
"Shit, really?"
Nibbling the inside of her cheek, she nods. "I know... I know how to throw knives pretty well."
"I gotta see that." His eyes flash behind her. "So what's up with his girlfriend?"
"Huh?" A divot forms between her brows before she follows his gaze, landing on Twix, whose hair is now just past her shoulders. She is wetting it, running her fingers through the newly cut strands. "Oh—Twix. That is not his girlfriend. She is my friend."
"You mean they don't sleep together?"
"Like in the same bed?"
"That's usually where people fuck, yeah."
He seems ready to laugh. She frowns, head tilting as confusion hums in her chest. "You mean like sex?"
He nods. "You know what that is, right?"
She quickly recovers. "Yeah, of course. Ghost told me all about it."
"You know they're probably doing it, right?"
"Ghost and Twix? No—no," she forces a laugh. "I mean, sometimes I catch him staring at her all weird. But I don't think—I mean, they hardly like each other and she is my friend, really, not his. He used to make me stay away from her, even. But I mean, they do spend a lot of time together now. It's usually to practice fighting and defense. Not to have...sex."
"Don't they share a room?"
"Just right now, because you guys are here."
Ari chuckles. "You really think they aren't doing it in there? She's really pretty. There's no way they aren't."
Blue looks back at Twix. She is pretty. And she has actual boobs. Blue's fingers curl into the soaked fabric of her top.
Her eyes flick back to him. "She would've told me if they were."
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Shame(less) • Mattheo Riddle x f!reader
Requested: No
Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x f!reader; Adrian Pucey x f!reader
Summary: y/n feels ashamed for cheating on her boyfriend with Mattheo, but the same couldn't be said fo the dark haired boy.
Word count: 1.2K
Warnings: Cheating, slight cursing
A/N: It was supposed to be a drabble but oh well. I really don't like how it turned out, but I might write a Theo version if people ask. Comments and feedback are always deeply appreciated :) ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.
Tag list: @helendeath @im-jesus
Tag list for this story: @chelawrites @isntthatsweetiguessso @aegon-andaemondtargaryenslut18
Christmas break was over, and it was time to go back to Hogwarts. It meant going back to the same routine, taking your meals in the Great Hall, going to class, doing your homework, having fun with your friends in Hogsmeade and also spreading time with your boyfriend, Adrian. The prospect should have made you happy, and you should have been looking forward to seeing him, but you just couldn’t. Not when he would be here too.
After arriving at the castle, you met Pansy in the Slytherin common room. You two hugged warmly, and talked about your respective holidays. You did your best to focus on what your best friend was saying, nodding at her words, but you could feel your heart beat fast with anxiety, and your eyes kept taking glimpses around in case Adrian or him came in. After a moment, Pansy left to go unpack her bags, and seconds later, you jumped as you felt two hands on your eyes.
“Guess who?”
“Adrian!”
With a small laugh, he took his hands off your face and put them on your hips instead as you turned to face him. He bent a little to kiss your lips, and you tried to feel something, anything, but you didn’t. Only shame that you felt something - felt so much - when it was another man’s lips that were on yours.
“Had a good Christmas? Did you like my gift?”
“Yeah!” You said, trying to sound normal. “It was nice to see my parents, and I really liked your gift, Adrien, it was really beautiful. Thank you. How was yours?”
“Good, good,” he said with a nod. “I liked your gift, as well. But, I have to admit I missed you, babe.” He sighed and continued with a softer voice, “I’m sorry for how I behaved before the break, I…I didn’t give you much attention, and I regret all our fights. Can I start making it up to you?” he finished with a hopeful small smile.
“No”, you should have said. He was right in everything he said, and you had seen couples from school break up for less than that.
“Okay,” you nodded.
“Thank you.”
He kissed your cheek, and you forced your lips to form a smile.
“I, uh, I have to go unpack my back,” you said.
“Oh. Sure. I’ll see you at dinner.”
Remaining silent, you gave him a nod, and his hands left your hips as you detached yourself from him and walked to your dorm, hoping that staying alone for a moment would allow you to pull yourself back together and finally make the right decision. With a heavy breath, you opened the door, expecting to see the room empty, but there was somebody here, sitting on your bed. You shouldn’t have been surprised, and you already knew who it was - he was always there.
Mattheo Riddle. In the same house and same year as you. For years, he was just a classmate you didn’t interact much with, except for strange, silent stares that started in your fifth year. Nothing changed when you started dating Adrian, but one night after a fight with him, Mattheo found you all alone, in tears, and sat down to listen to you. Things had escalated, and ever since, you felt nothing but shame and fear that anyone would find out. You tried to avoid him after, to convince himself that it was a mistake. However, if you felt shame, it wasn’t the case for Mattheo. After that night, and kept staring at you in class, during meals, and especially when Adrian was close to you. And as if it wasn’t enough, he kept trying to spend time alone with you, and eventually succeeded, leading in more “accidents”, as you called them, more shame, as well as less and less affection for your boyfriend and more and more for feelings and shameful desire for the dark haired boy in front of you. And it definitely wasn’t helping that he also kept trying to convince you of his feelings for you and to leave Adrian once and for all.
He raised his head when you came in, and you quickly closed the door behind you, quietly locking it. Your heart started beating faster, and you leant on your door, not daring to get closer.
“Well, hello, love.”
You felt your cheeks - or maybe your whole body - becoming hot, and gulped.
“You can’t be here,” you said with a shaky voice. “What if someone saw you coming in?”
“Nobody has seen us so far,” Mattheo answered with his usual carelessness you both hated and felt drawn to. “Why would they see me now?”
“Mattheo, you know perfectly what I meant,” you retorted. “Plus, what if Adrian saw you?”
Mattheo rose from the bed, and slowly started walking towards you.
“Speaking of your little boyfriend, I saw you guys before you came in.” His brown gaze hardened like it always did when the topic was Adrian. “It nearly took everything in me to not break his fingers for touching you.”
“Mattheo,” you sighed. “He’s my boyfriend. He has every right to touch me.”
Staring at you, Mattheo had a smirk that did not reach his dark eyes and tilted his head. His face was now inches away from yours, and you tried as much as you could to not breathe his perfume.
“And do I have the right to touch you?” he said in a low voice.
Not waiting for an answer, he brought one hand to your cheek, caressing it with his thumb and now looking at you like he had been for a few weeks - with love.
“Mattheo, please…”
He closed his eyes and brought his nose to your cheek, his thumb still caressing it. “I’ve spent three weeks in hell not seeing, touching, or kissing you,” he whispered. “I fucking need to feel you, love…Even just a kiss…”
One of his hands still on your cheek, the other went under your shirt, and when he started kissing your neck, you knew you were done for. Your body was as hot as ever, and you felt shivers down your spine as well as your body craving Mattheo’s touch. You sighed, and as he brought his mouth to yours, you kissed him back, putting one hand on his back and the other on his neck. He immediately deepened the kiss, and his hands grabbed your legs to put them around his waist.
“I can’t fucking stand the thought of you being with him,” he mumbled between two kisses. “I can’t stand the thought of not being the only man who gets to touch and kiss you, the only man who can call you his…”
He suddenly stopped kissing you, leaving you breathless.
“Leave him, y/n. Or I’m gonna go crazy. I could give you…Everything. Everything I have.”
All lust had disappeared from his eyes, leaving only desperation, and love.
“Fine,” you whispered, feeling incapable of saying no to him. “I’ll leave Adrian tomorrow.”
Mattheo smiled, and you felt his relief. He gave you a loving kiss before looking at you again, this time with a mix of both love and lust.
“Now that it’s settled and you’re fully mine forever, how about we make up for the time we spent apart?”
You smiled and kissed him, the feeling of shame not disappearing in the slightest.
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Masterlist
#harry potter#mattheo riddle x you#mattheo riddle x reader#slytherin#slytherin boys#slytherin boys x reader#benjamin wadsworth#adrian pucey#tom riddle#lorenzo berkshire#draco malfoy#blaise zabini#theodore nott
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pretty please: chapter two.
pretty please masterlist.
chapter two warnings: covid happens :(, avoiding big emotional conversations, phone sex (not graphic,) i definitely deleted any and all covid social distancing rules when i was writing this but it'S FOR THE PLOT, oral sex (f receiving, not graphic,) LEWIS IS SUGAR DADDY!!!!!!!! (but there's also feelings but we don't want to admit that yet hehehehehehe)
chapter two word count: 3.7k
taglist (crossed out means i could not tag you/no blog was found): @pear-1206 @vivi-81 @irishmanwhore @lucycowr @benstormy
@anat33-blog1 @Xoscar03 @tremendousstarlighttragedy @nenamalenaa @champagneproblems17
@marknolee @toby33b @theendofthematerialgworl @soloqualcosa @sassyinchident808
join my taglist here!
take my hand while we dance on the edge of a knife
tuesday, 3 december, 2019
your phone chimes in the formula 1 radio tone, a custom ringtone you'd set just for lewis. glancing away from your computer screen, you see a simple text.
Hey.
what should you say? "hey yourself?" no, too sassy. "hey, thanks for the mind-blowing sex a few days ago. i think i'm into you, do you wanna go out?" way too forward. "hey!" too excited.
you settle on a simple "hey." in response.
for good measure, you add on a second text.
Thanks for the flight yesterday :)
his response? a simple "Yeah of course!"
"alright. so i'm going to have to be the one to bring it up. gotcha."
so this was the dance that you'd be doing. you'd just move on from the most life-changing sex you've ever had with four texts. you'd take a step forward, try to ask about what this would mean for your professional relationship, if anything, and he'd have one-sentence answers before moving on to a different topic.
that's fine.
it totally didn't make you insane.
definitely not.
instead of thinking about your client-slash-friend-slash-maybe-fuck-buddy over your winter holidays, you opt for drowning yourself in advance work, opting to make your contributions to the february 2020 issue the best the world has ever seen. your articles for the january issue are long submitted, but now that you've submitted everything for finalization for the next two months, you have a staycation at home with your cats, crochet, shitty reality tv, and a lot of alcohol filling up your schedule for the next two weeks (and a short visit to your parents up in leeds for christmas, but that's naught but a short interruption to your routine,) and you don't intend on letting work interrupt a single moment of the next two weeks.
the key word in that sentence being intend.
although, is it really considered work if it's just texting back and forth with someone who's a client-slash-friend-slash-maybe-fuck-buddy and not exactly a coworker?
"girl, i swear down on my nan's grave," amelia begins, and you grin, already knowing you're about to get a true amelia lorenz lecture, "if you don't make a move on him before new year's, i will, and i don't think he even knows my name!" she continues by weaving an intricate web of every single sign she's seen that points to the mutual attraction between yourself and the driver, and you're not sure when the right time is to tell her that you've already had sex with him. luckily, you find an opportunity when she stands from your couch to refill her glass of whiskey and pauses her monologue.
"is now a good time to tell you that we shagged after abu dhabi?"
amelia's head whips around so fast you're surprised it doesn't snap off of her neck. "you what?" you grin sheepishly, any and all confidence you've ever had in your entire life having evaporated in a microsecond. when she sits down opposite you on the couch, her left leg tucked into her crotch and her right hanging off the side, she has to set her glass on your coffee table so that she doesn't splash the whiskey everywhere. you both know what's coming purely based off of her body language. she takes a deep breath, then presses her hands together in a prayer-like stace and rests the nook of her nose in her fingertips. "let me get this straight." she pauses. "you." her right hand points directly at you as she says your full name. "shagged the lewis hamilton. and you didn't tell me immediately?"
"why do you think i wasn't on the flight back?" amelia's eyes widen in realization, and a grin spreads across her face.
"he flew you back on his jet?" you nod, taking another sip of your drink, and amelia squeals with delight. "i need every single detail. start talking."
friday, 13 march, 2020
your phone vibrates on your desk, and you glance over at it, unlocking it when you see the f1 logo on the notification. your heart sinks when you see what the notification reads, though.
"formula 1, fia and agpc announce cancellation of the 2020 australian grand prix"
"shit," you mutter, switching your phone off and resting your head in your hands. it won't be long before the lockdown reaches london, you know that, but it's difficult knowing that lewis was looking forward to being in the car again, especially with some of the new regulations that he hoped would lead to closer racing.
you send him a text before you go to sleep- it's almost 3 am.
Sorry to hear about the race. I know you were looking forward to driving.
by the time you've fallen asleep, though, lewis has seen your text and he gnaws at his lower lip, his thumbs hesitating over the keyboard of his phone's screen. yeah, he was looking forward to driving, but as the pandemic numbers increased, his anxiety about the race weekend did, too.
Thanks. I'm glad they called it off, though. The numbers were getting too high too fast.
months pass. your interviews with various drivers at the monaco and british grands prix are moved to video calls. the world gets thrown into lockdown, eases out of it, and then gets thrown into lockdown once more. dolphins are spotted in the canals of venice. george floyd's murder sparks a revolution that reaches all corners of the globe.
you don't go a day without texting, calling, or video calling with lewis.
it's sickening, really, how much his smile is keeping you sane. well, if you're being honest, it's a combination of his smile, your medication, and going on a lot of walks around your neighbourhood. leytonstone is a lovely part of london, yes, but there's only so many different routes you can take around the neighbourhood before you start itching to jump on a train and go anywhere.
in early june, you get the email. you'll be traveling to silverstone for a set of interviews with various drivers for the 70th anniversary race. it's the fifth of seventeen races on the updated calendar, and the email states that you may be sent to the abu dhabi grand prix, as well.
wednesday, 29 july, 2020.
you're practically vibrating with excitement as you board the first of four trains that will take you to your hotel. you're leaving a week before you're due in silverstone, though, because why wouldn't you take advantage of the double header race? you've never been to a race purely as a spectator and your giddiness makes you laugh. how going to a race has given you the butterflies in your stomach that you haven't felt since you were a teenager, you'll never know. sure, with the fia's no-spectator rule, you aren't really sure how people are planning on watching the race, but you're sure you'll learn as the weekend progresses. either way, you're one of many fans taking the train up to silverstone despite the rules stating that no fans could enter the paddock or the grandstands, many hopeful that simply being in the same general area might get them a chance of seeing any of the drivers in person. a few of the racing fans on the train even recognize you, one timidly holding the july 2019 edition of vogue.
the edition where your first interview with lewis was published.
"could you sign it?"
your jaw opens and closes beneath your mask a few times before you're able to regain your composure, accepting the magazine and sharpie from her with a smile.
"what's your name, darling? here, sit with me." she does, sitting across the aisle from you and nervously tucking a curl of ginger-brown hair behind her ear.
"kathleen. but you can call me kat," she adds, and you smile as you write a small note on the inside cover, adding your signature afterwards. "are you interviewing lewis hamilton this weekend?"
"i don't have any interviews this weekend. just next weekend." you look more intently at kat's outfit, and you smile below your mask. she's wearing a mercedes hoodie and baggy jeans, and you notice that her outfit reminds you of someone. "i like your outfit. it reminds me of some of lewis' outfits, actually." kat beams beneath her mask, her eyes scrunching up into happy crescents.
"thank you! he's kinda the inspiration behind my outfits for the weekend. i'm a huge fan of him, have been for years. i'll be honest, i didn't read much about fashion until you interviewed him, but i really liked your article and looked up some of your others. the one you wrote critiquing paparazzi for stalking celebrities was incredible! you wrote it so freely. i loved it." kat catches herself, noticing her rambling, folding her hands in her lap nervously. "sorry. i talk when i'm nervous."
"you have nothing to be nervous about. i'm just another human being." you hesitate a moment, leaning over to her as you pass the magazine and sharpie marker back. "can i tell you a secret?" she nods. "i was terrified the first time i interviewed lewis." kat's eyes grow wide, and you nod. "i was so nervous. i almost got sick a couple of times, actually."
"really?"
"mhm. i'm surprised i didn't."
"i definitely would."
"i doubt that. lewis is as nice- if not nicer- than he seems. after the first five minutes of talking to him, i knew i had nothing to worry about."
the two of you spend the remaining time on the trains talking together, and she animatedly drags her father towards you and you shake his hand, introducing yourself.
"pleasure to meet you. my name's dan. thank you for being a role model for my little girl." your heart swells with pride at the praise, and you nod.
"you're raising a very fine young woman, dan. she's got a bright future ahead of her." dan nods and thanks you, grinning behind his mask. you know, from what kat's told you, that dan has been a fan of formula 1 since the michael schumacher days and that he's been to three grands prix in his life- silverstone 2003, silverstone 2004, and germany 2008. this'll be his fourth. you also know that the white and papaya t-shirt he's wearing is from the most recent race he's attended. "do you happen to have instagram, dan?"
"i do, why?" his eyes narrow slightly, and you can understand why your question seems a little strange.
"i'm writing a piece about fan presence at recent grands prix, since there's been the 'no fans allowed inside' order from the fia, and would love to interview you and kat before and after the weekend," you lie. "i'd be willing to keep you both anonymous, if you'd like. if i can message you on instagram, it wouldn't be as much of a hassle as writing emails to communicate."
"i'd prefer we remain anonymous, but i'm sure she'd love to be interviewed."
you can't tie me down, but you can tie me up
thursday, 30 july, 2020.
the next morning, you call lewis, the hotel's breakfast menu next to you on your bed and your notepad perched on your lap, your pre-weekend "interview" with dan and kat in just over 90 minutes. lewis picks up the call on the third ring.
"hey!" you have to bite your lip to keep yourself from smiling too much, a rush of dopamine flooding your brain at the sound of his voice. "can i call you back in half an hour? i've got media stuff to do in about five minutes."
"i'll be fast. can you get two paddock passes made for sunday under the names kathleen and dan gallagher?"
"they'll have to be media passes, but yeah, why?"
"you'll see. i'll text you the names so you have them. see you in a few days!"
after texting bono a quick message regarding your own pass and ensuring that he would keep it completely and entirely a secret from lewis, you flop backwards onto your bed, staring at the ceiling for a moment. "what the hell have i gotten myself into?"
since the pandemic began, your relationship with lewis has been... well... less than professional.
your daily phone calls and texts with him have contained topics that still make shivers run up your spine and a flush of heat fill your cheeks and neck when you think about them. there have been many nights where you've been on a call with lewis and you're both breathing heavily, clothes messily strewn across your respective beds in a rush to lay back against your pillows and touch yourself to completion, obeying each other's commands and wishes.
there have also been many nights where you're tucked into your beds, roscoe fast asleep next to lewis and your own furry companions, pipsqueak and garfburger, the latter of which amelia named, curled into a ball of rare calmness next to you. the two of you ultimately fall asleep on the call, the idea of having someone with you, even if not physically, helping soothe your anxiety.
both types of calls are incredibly intimate and beautiful, each in their own way.
four days later, you're meeting up with bono outside the paddock to get your own pass and messaging back and forth with dan, attempting to figure out where you can meet him near the paddock entrance. trying to explain to him why you need to meet up today when your scheduled interview time is tomorrow without giving too many details proves to be a difficult task but you're thankfully able to manage. five minutes after bono appears, three media passes in hand, you see dan and kat round the corner. you wave him down, a smile on your face, and kat immediately comes running over to you. today, she sports a pair of baggy jeans, a hamilton jersey over what you assume is the same mercedes hoodie she was wearing on the train, and an incredibly well-loved pair of black platform converse.
"good morning to you both," you say, a bright grin on your face beneath your mask. from the way kat's eyes scrunch up behind glasses you can tell her own smile outshines your own.
"good morning! dad said you had some mid-weekend questions for us?"
"well..." your eyes flick back and forth between dan and kat, and you can see the gears turning in dan's head, but kat remains oblivious. "the mid-weekend questions were a bit of a lie, but i think- i hope- that what i have in my jacket pocket is enough for you to forgive me." with that, you pull the two black and purple media passes out of your jacket, check which one has kat's name on it and which has dan's, and hand them to their respective owners. "kathleen and dan gallagher, welcome to the formula 1 silverstone paddock."
"are you serious?" dan says in disbelief, and when you nod, kat squeaks in delight and throws herself at you, wrapping her arms around you in a vice grip.
"thank you thank you, thank you!"
"you're very welcome. are you ready to go see some cool cars?"
"is that a joke? of course!" kat looks at her father, hoping for some small nod of approval, and, when he does, you think the girl still glued to your torso might just combust from excitement. you can tell that dan's barely containing his own joy, his eyes mirroring the amount of joy you see in kat's.
"in that case, let's go." after about an hour of walking through the paddock, finding spare headsets in the mclaren garage, and smiling as kat and dan can't control their own amazement at the works of engineering in front of them land sheepishly asking a few drivers for photos,) you make your way, finally, to the mercedes garage. "re you two hungry at all? care for a coffee or tea? mercedes has the best food in the paddock. "
"i'd love a coffee, actually." dan says. "kat? you want anything?"
"a cuppa sounds perfect, thank you."
"i've got it. here, have a seat, i'll be right back, " you say, attempting to sound as casual as physically possible when you know you're about to blow their minds. they sit at one of the tables in the small cafe, and you go up to the barista, ordering dan and kat's drinks before ducking away and making your way to lewis' driver's room, knocking a few times and stepping back, smiling when the door opens and you see him, fuck, he looks good. "hi, lewis."
he knew you were going to be in silver stone for the 70th anniversary race, but that isn't until next weekend. "you've here early," he says, leaning against the doorframe. "why's that?"
"i can't want to see my favorite driver at his home race?" you cock an eyebrow and cross your arms, but there's sarcasm evident in your voice. "plus, i missed you. can i tie up your schedule for a bit?"
"it depends. how is my schedule being tied up if i agree?" lewis is matching your own bass, and you smile.
"just some people i'd like you to meet. remember those passes i asked you to have made? well... they're in the cafe and i think the cherry on top of their day would be meeting you."
"in that case, you can tie up my schedule, but i only have fifteen minutes before the strategy meeting." you grin brightly, and your eyes squishing in the corners makes lewis smile in turn, "before we go, though, i do have a little request. come in for a quick minute?" he steps to the side and you gladly follow, turning towards lewis when you hear the door click shut behind you. he's taking off his Mercedes- branded face mask, and you take that as permission lo take your own off. "you know..." he begins, stepping towards you. your breath catches in your throat as all of your senses one immediately overwhelmed with everything lewis. his left hand comes up to hold your and check you gladly lean into his touch, the gentleness of his touch a stark contrast his calloused to fingertips. the next words he says ring in your head, repeating like church bells.
"i missed you, too." those words are the last thing you process before lewis' lips are on yours and every ounce of tension leaves your body.
"mm, lewis, " you say, pulling away from the blissful kiss much to your dismay. "our guests are waiting." lewis groans, and you giggle.
"fine, but after we've done with that and i'm free from my strategy meeting, we're coming back here and finishing what we started."
"deal."
kat and dan are, obviously, completely and entirely dumbfounded when you return to the cafe, six-time world champion in tow.
they're even happier when they watch lewis cross the line in first place, five seconds ahead of max verstappen.
after the podium and post-race interviews, you find yourself crowded against the wall of lewis' driver's room yet again. your kisses are hot and messy, desperate hands wandering around each other's bodies. sometime in the lust-addled haze, you're laying back onto the couch pushed against the back wall and your jeans are being thrown somewhere across the room. whatever, you don't care where they are or how wrinkled they're going to be because lewis is eating you out again and, within minutes, you're cumming on his tongue again as his nose bumps against your clit. when he kisses you, your cum smears on your cheeks and chin and nose and it's so, so filthy, but you wouldn't have it any other way.
"are you coming to any other races this year?" lewis speaks up, his voice echoing through his chest. he's found you a pair of joggers that you'd slipped on after another set of blissful kisses and a messy (but very perfect) handjob. he's laying on the couch and you're resting on top of him, your arms wrapped around his torso and his own surrounding your shoulders. your socked feet are tangled with lewis' own, and his fingers, unusually absent of any jewelry, run gently along the curve of your shoulders.
"i'm not sure. i haven't gotten any race assignments yet from upper management, and traveling is really difficult right now if you don't have a work visa."
"i bet i can send some emails." you can almost hear the smirk in his voice.
"lewis," you scoff, burying your face in his chest. he smells like forests and jasmine and safety. "you're going to be the death of me."
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