#''we apologize for the inconvenience'' THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT

[portvial]

ok now that some time has passed and i feel more normal after a day of screaming with my friends, i'm starting to gather my thoughts.

there are a lot of theories out there already. some say the torchbearer we see isn't real and just blurry trying to trick clancy, others say it's a recent memory before they approached dema.

i'm gonna analyze clancy's pov thus far (this will get long, apologies):

we've known clancy has been in a very vulnerable state of mind for a while. the clancy album is, from beginning to end, a story about relapsing into harmful old habits and mindsets. this prolonged manic episode starts as soon as he comes down from the high of seizing for the first time back in voldsoy. he feels in control of something for once in his life. the line between morality and the end justifying the means begins to blur as he starts using the citizens as a way to get into dema and begin a revolution from inside the walls. this power, this control, it starts to intoxicate him. he feels overly confident in his newfound abilities, and this leads to overcompensating for the scared boy he used to be.

“I'm not as scared as I used to be. Their mystery begins to fade as a method to defeat them becomes more clear. I no longer feel powerless. I can outsmart them. This new power of psychokinesis worked, and I believe it can work again.”

— Clancy's journal. 024 02MOON 09.

“I found a way in. A way they'll never suspect, and a way they'll never understand. Everything about our cause is so hard for them to understand, but so close to the hearts of the glowing resistance. I can reach them all. I can recruit everyone with eyes that see beyond the horizon. I can teach them.”

— Clancy's journal. 024 02MOON 28.

but suddenly, we learn that the torchbearer, who has been loyally following clancy everywhere, isn't the same one who has been standing all the way across the paladin strait. or rather, it is a guide, a projection, as we later learn from tyler himself. torchbearer exists, but in the same way that clancy has finally found his powers, torch has been using his own. this puts a wrench in the plan. all of a sudden, clancy starts to rethink everything that's happened so far. was any of it real? was his mind playing tricks on him? did he hallucinate his companion for years? had his abused and tired mind, after years of smearings from the bishops, finally began to crack under the weight?

but most importantly, could he, despite all they'd been through together, truly trust torch?

why do i come to this conclusion? in one of the unused lyrics from digital remains, we see the following excerpt:

“Breaking alliances over the silences from ignited torches when the battle had begun.”

something broke along the way. the blind trust clancy and torch once shared had been, in a way, breached. clancy's mind is more vulnerable than ever, susceptible to the bishops' control. to nico, to blurry.

The evidence I planted on purpose

in another lyric from the unused song "drag path", we see clancy refer to himself as "useless", "worthless", "defenseless", his disappearance being a "minor inconvenience" for torch, just "a set back", as he waits to be rescued, "on the off chance" torch feels "compelled" to save him once again:

“A drag path etched on the surface

I'm here again, conscious but defenseless / worthless

A drag path that’s on etched the surface

The off chance that you feel compelled to save me again

A setback, for you, just a minor inconvenience

I’m confident you’ll find me

I dug my heels next to each other

As evidence for you to discover

A drag path that leads to my prison

I’m confident you’ll find me”

it is clear that clancy's self worth has taken a major hit, and he is no longer sure of his importance in torch's life, or in the rebellion's plan. "feeling the reality that everybody leaves", he sings in navigating, despite the fact that torch's touch, even through a projection, was enough to guide him back home.

torch attempts to communicate with clancy, to reassure him that he had in fact never left his side, despite his physical body not being there.

“I see the weathering on your face, and the journey you've been on. Although we were away, I hope you now know that I've never left you. [...]

Covering you, TB.”

— Letter from Torch to Clancy | FPE Minnesota + FPE Columbus N3

however, this letter ends up most likely intercepted by the bishops, as we saw in the FPE. there is a big possibility that clancy has never read it.

clancy's erratic and manic behavior starts to get noticed by the other banditos. some seem excited at the showcase of this power, but others question clancy's methods:

“Nico's power is the element that has given Dema and Vialism such an iron fist. More power, even if it's Clancy's power, will corrupt the movement we've fought so hard to bring to Dema. We are all one people, and people striving for hope and victory, not more tyranny. Clancy must know that!”

— Letter from Magnus to Baldur | FPE Bologna, Italy + FPE Manchester, UK

all of this brings us to the line:

My body's on the line now

I can't fight this time now

I can feel the light shine on my face

Did I disappoint you? Will they still let me over if I cross the line?

Take a seat, but I'd rather you not be here for

What could be my final form

Stay your pretty eyes on course

Keep the memories of who I was before

clancy is beginning to realize that there is no other way to destroy the bishops and reclaim dema than to put himself in harm's way. in a last moment of tenderness, he asks torch to remember him as he was, and their time together, but to keep moving forward no matter what.

torch, however, is having none of it:

CLANCY,

NEVER FORGET THE CRIES OF YOUR PEOPLE. NEVER FORGET THE RAW FEAR THAT FUELED YOU, OR THE REBELS THAT MADE YOU WHO YOU ARE TODAY.

WE ARE ALL ONE. WE DESTROYED THEM SO THAT WE DIDN'T BECOME THEM.

WE MUST DO BETTER, CLANCY. WE MUST DO BETTER.

TB

— Letter from Torch to Clancy | FPE Hamburg, Germany

the tone is desperate, he is clearly trying to bring clancy back from the brink.

clancy replies to him, colder than ever, in a very worrisome letter depicting how his manic behavior has reached its peak:

TB,

The crown is heavy, but I can carry it. This city needs hope, and I alone can give it to them. But the city needs to feel powerful again, and snap out of the lifeless obedience they've been trapped in. I can give it to them. I gave them hope. I will be their example of absolute power. I feel alive again.

– Clancy

— Letter from Clancy to Torch | FPE London, UK

this feeling of euphoria, reminiscent of a manic episode, can only end in one way: crashing back down. backsliding, if you will.

it's possible that what we see in paladin strait, clancy climbing the tower alone and torch worriedly glancing back, is a detour from the original plan.

and finally, this brings us to the contract. we begin where we left off, nico choking clancy. he closes his eyes and we witness how he tries to fight off nico's control over his mind. the mv is a series of disorienting, confusing, twisted images, a hazy nightmare. red eyes surrounding him and torch, possibly depicting the glorious gones, or us as the audience, being controlled by blurry.

the leaves and the storm from the backslide mv, depicting a battle inside clancy who's trying not to relapse, not to succumb to nico's power

the lyrics are frantic, they show us a glimpse into clancy's mental state: sleep deprived, on edge, paranoid, obsessing over when and how blurry will attack.

My hallucination I used to see, it felt so real

clancy has convinced himself that their connection, their alliance, has been severed, their paths diverged. he doesn't trust his own mind anymore, if he ever did, and now reality starts to blur with dreams and hallucinations.

But now I plead, just take the deal

I promised you a contract

this is sung directly to torch, pointing at him. clancy promised torch a long time ago that he would go along with the plan, he would use his power to reclaim dema and defeat the bishops once and for all. but as said earlier, clancy realized that torch's methods would be futile if their goal was to succeed. there is no winning without him using all of his available power, even if it means losing himself along the way. so now he pleads for torch to take this deal. it isn't ideal, it isn't their initial plan, but a compromise must be reached.

in turn, this also works with torch offering clancy his jumpsuit, his rebel jacket. he promised him freedom, the only thing he has to do is take the jacket back and step away from the precipice, it doesn't have to be this way. we've seen clancy refuse it once, but we don't know if this is an scenario he imagined, or a distorted memory. we, just like clancy, cannot trust his mind anymore (if we ever could in the first place.)

the only thing that's left to see is what clancy will choose, what his next move is, and if the weight of this insurmountable power will be enough to completely corrupt him.

[alexanderwales]

"I don't think I could have the relationship with you that you have with me," she said. She was very casual about it, and I was immediately on the defensive.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

She put the book she'd been reading down. "It's just, the way you've described it, and the vibe that I get, I don't think I could do it how you do it."

"I still don't know what that means," I said.

"You're always doing this like ... micro calculation thing," she said. "You weigh your words. You try to time things. You have never once called me up while I was at work, or asked me for something when it was inconvenient for me, and you check and double check that you're not being a nuisance."

"And ... that's bad?" I asked.

"No, I love that about you," she said. "It's very kind and considerate. I know that if I tell you I'm not in the mood to hang out, you'll apologize and not push it. If you suggest that we get pizza and I say I'd rather have Korean BBQ, you fold instantly and we get Korean BBQ. I like that. I get the things I want. But it seems like an exhausting way to deal with people."

"I want you to be happy," I said with a small voice.

"I am happy," she replied. "You're great. You remember when we first got together I was like 'hey, look, if you want pizza, we can get pizza, it's just not what I'm in the mood for', and you kept insisting that you didn't care, that you would rather have me follow my needs? And I just thought, 'you know, maybe I should just trust that's what they actually feel'. And it is, as far as I can tell. There's not some secret part of you that wants me to break your way."

"You think I'm ... a simpering coward?" I asked. Even as I said it, it felt too accusatory, the wrong thing to say in the situation.

"Whoa, no, not at all," she laughed. "I think you do all that stuff because ... I don't know, you want to? Because otherwise why would you do it? It's how you are with every aspect of your life, you're a tryhard. I mean you said to me that you wanted to reclaim the term. Your relationship with me is that you're a tryhard (affectionate)."

"And you're ... not?" I asked.

"I'm not that way with anyone," she replied. "You know why I hang out with you so much? It's 'cause I like you. Most days, I am very much in the mood for you, and if you ask for a meetup, I'll say yes, and if you don't ask for one, then I'll ask you first. And for you ..."

"What?" I asked.

"It's like ... you're keeping track," she said. "You want to make sure that you're not sending me more messages than I'm sending you. You're balancing social micro stuff that I don't pay attention to. You're consciously monitoring how much each of us has said and making sure it's the right number of words or whatever."

"It's really not about the number of words," I replied. "It's more ... making sure that social and emotional labor is equitable, that there's a good rhythm to the conversation. I don't think you'd get good results by tracking word count."

"But see, I don't do any of that," she said. "I talk because I feel like talking. I listen when you need to vent because I like you and it feels good to give you an outlet. I mean you are undoubtedly putting in a bunch of work, and for me, there's no work. That's all I meant, really."

"You've thought about it," I said.

"Oh, I'm just reading this book, and there are two characters like us in it, and I was like 'yes, exactly', and then 'that would not work for me'." She shrugged.

"And if I stopped 'putting in the work'?" I asked. "Would we still be ... friends?"

"See, I don't know," she said. "Because that's never who you've been. You're asking me if I would still be friends with you if you changed your personality and how we interact with each other. Maybe? Probably? Who knows? Maybe we'd be better friends somehow. Maybe we're just two basically compatible people, and every time you've ever worried about anything it would actually have been completely fine."

"Or maybe it's load-bearing," I said.

"Maybe!" she replied with a smile that slowly faded. "You okay?"

"I'm thinking," I said. I didn't know if I could verbalize what I was thinking in a way that would be palatable.

"Do you not like being this way with me?" she asked. "Because I have never asked you to. I've made my preferences known, but if you've been bending yourself into knots and feeling a burden, then ..."

"No," I said, because I knew it was what she wanted to hear. "No, I like the way things are between us."

"Good," she smiled. "I do too."

[unluckilyimnot]

Okay, but bonten with like a SUPER soft gf. Like, we talk like cry on every sad movie ivies with an animal to be specific). Takes things other says to heart. Often like cry over small things and stops to pet EVERY single animal she sees.

Feel free to ignore if you don’t feel like doing this one 😭 I know it’s lowkey weird.

Bonten with a soft gf!

Characters: rindou, ran, kaku, mikey, sanzu, kokonoi

fluff / no tw / wc: 900+

Note : no way it's so cute don't ever worry !! I love it, thank you sm ! I dispatched it between all the characters. I hope it's fine.

m.list | rules

Rindou never minded more than that the fact that you cry a lot. He loves it a lot and it makes him chuckle and laugh more than anything else. He's always there to wipe your tears away when you cry when the dog dies in the movies, or when you tear up at any inconveniences. You wear your heart on your sleeve, you're sensible, the opposite of him, and he cares and loves you for that.

Yet he's the first one to draw a radical line the second you get hurt, in any way, by someone. It's silly and fun until some abuse it and use it against you or to hurt you. He will find who did this, who made you cry and will burn their house down.

Sanzu sighs a lot when you decide something was wrong when he, in fact, didn't care. Yet his heart always skips a beat when he hears you speaking louder than you usually do, mad at people treating him poorly. He listens to you for a while before he finally steps in and holds your hands when he's feeling cheesy, or your elbows when he's a bit tired or high.

"Babe, it's really nothing. Don't worry yourself like that, you'll get wrinkles." He honestly makes you laugh every time, or at least confort you that he doesn't care about anyone's opinion besides yours. And oh how much you love and care for him everyday, he can't even doubt it. He wished you'd stop hurting yourself over things like this, but recognize that your sweet nature is definitely what he loves the most about you.

Ran laughs at you when you get offended for nothing. It can be about something going your way to work to you spiking your coffee on the counter. It's his own comic relief of the day when you're stroming around, a deep frown on your face making you look like a small, angry animal but still defenseless. His laughter always makes it worse, without mentioning his venom filled remarques, to make fun of your overreacting nature. To the point you can cry and not speak to him for hours – but for sure mentioning it all to Rindou.

Ran hates it when you team up with him, because you wouldn't talk to him but Rindou would, on the other hand, mention you and everything you told him to Ran. He's always making the first step to you and apologizing with probably a hundred wroth bouquet and your favorite snacks – promising you he'll never do it again, when he will most certainly do it again.

Seeing you enjoying small things about life is the reason why Mikey kept you around at first, you reminded him of his younger self and his friends at that time. Every time you stop to pet a stranger's dog, a small smile shows on his lips, one you rarely get to see even if you're always the reason for it.

You listen to him so carefully the few times he does talk to you, it makes him feel alive again. You're doing most of the talking and you're always so sorry to take this kich when that's what he loves about you. He makes sure to tell you that he likes it from time to time, just to be sure you won't stop. Your heart is so soft and warm, welcoming him every time you see him again with new facts you learn and an unconditional love that overflows everywhere, and he gets the chance to be showered with it every time.

Kokonoi gets used to you stopping all the time the second you catch the glimpse of a stay animal. So he instinctively adds ten minutes to every trip you two have to do, even if it's only to walk to his car because there's a few stray cats in the parking lot and he's sure you're gonna stop or even wait for them to walk out from their hide spot.

But he just can't bring himself to get impatient when your eyes light up at the sight of the small cats. The way you jolt in joy when their cold nose finally touches your hand, and you look up to him with the softest smile he ever had the chance to witness. Yes, you're usually late, but he just had to snap a picture of you with the white kitten and everyone is accepting the fact that those ten minutes of your happiness are worth the delayed meetings.

Kakucho's always there to rub your back when you cry in front of a movie. He never sees why you cry particularly, but always listen thoughtfully to what you have to say about it. He brings you tissues, sometimes even wipes your nose for you and lets you dive into his arms when a character you like dies. He can't help but tell himself how sensible you are every time, but also how he loves that. You bring him back to his human nature and what it is to be emphatic about normal things, far from his rough life where his life is at risk every time he steps outside the door.

To that, he hopes he'll never be the reason for your tears, and that he'll always be there to wipe them away and shush you down.

Sorry its rather short, tell me if you want a particular hc with one or a whole os.

Let me know if you liked it !

[luxdove]

Remember Me! Epilogue

(Shadow Milk Cookie x Reader)

Epilogue bc apparently the ending of part 2 left y’all in shambles 😭

Characters might be OOC!

Part 1, Part 2

The night was calm, a cool breeze hovered over the Pure Vanilla Kingdom as if it was a veil to cover such a peaceful kingdom that was always filled with happiness, laughter, and grace. Despite all positives, it seems like you were dealing with the negatives. You have woken up due to terrible dreams. It weren’t nightmares no, no- it seemed like the witches just wanted to make you feel even more guilt than you had before once in the past; when you helped the witches sealed your dear close friends who fell into corruption. So ever since the encounter of Shadow Milk Cookie and the duel, you were in a never ending restless state.

“Y/N Cookie?” A soft voice whispered with care, as if worried such a sound would break the most delicate and fragile silence. You barely even turned around because you knew who it was, it was Pure Vanilla Cookie standing there behind you with a face of worry. After all you have been staying inside of the Vanilla Castle ever since Gingerbrave Cookie’s group have all met you, so there’s no doubt Pure Vanilla Cookie could have noticed something that has changed ever since their travels to Beast Yeast.

“Hm…mornin’ Pure Vanilla Cookie Esquire…” You mumbled to match the low and quiet voice.

“Have you not rested?” Pure Vanilla Cookie asked as he examined your figure closely, you chuckled hollowly.

“I’m afraid not sire, I apologize for such inconveniences…” you whispered tiredly and softly.

“No need to apologize, although may I ask what has been up in your mind as of late?” Pure Vanilla Cookie asked as he walks towards where you were, admittedly- you looked like a normal civilian due to Pure Vanilla Cookie awakening his Light of Compassion form. Truly the roles seemed to have been reverse as if a there was a god like being standing next to a normal cookie.

“Admittedly…I can’t help but feel the same guilt that I felt many many years ago…back when the rest of the Virtues have been imprisoned,” you started as Pure Vanilla Cookie nodded. “However just like last time I too had to do what was right in the situation…and I knew Shadow Milk Cookie wouldn’t listen an ounce of what we would say…he is ignorant; only believing what is true in his eyes and not others- even if such truth are just delusions to help him believe more,” 

“Hmm…” Pure Vanilla Cookie hummed with a small smile, you waited impatiently for his answer but it seemed like he was just purposely doing this…for what reason? You do not know…anyways you decided to do something you’ve been avoiding for quite some time.

“Pure Vanilla Cookie,” You broke the awfully long silenced as he hummed. “I shall be on a journey, I wish for you or anyone to not seek for me for this is a journey I must deal alone,” you left instantly without waiting a response, but you failed the noticed the widened toothy smile Pure Vanilla Cookie gave to you as you disappeared from his view. 

It seems that no matter what, you always end up back at the spire. The spire has been broken down, abandoned with no owner, torn down into pieces- yet the spire looks just as glorious as the days when you first saw it despite how worn down it is. You walked along the garden, the same garden you have walked along for centuries- although just like the spire, it has been ruined, dirtied, stumbled, and destroyed. Everything about the spire held a special memory in your heart, yet although it fills you with such pleasant memories there was always a spot of guilt that stains it all.

“Why hello there…I didn’t expect a visitor” a calm gently voice is heard, you turned around to see nothing. Truly you were sure you weren’t going insane over this- but maybe you knew the owner of the voice was? Even then you didn’t want to confront said person so you ignored the voice. “Umm HELLOOO? I am talking to you!” The voice seemed louder and chaotic compared to how it sounded before but as expected there was no one. So you kept walking along the broken path of the garden. But then suddenly two hands gripped your shoulders firmly as they turned you around and you were met with a face  of a very angry Shadow Milk Cookie. “HELLO? I was TALKING to you and you just didn’t reply?”

“I apologize…I’m not really…” you paused before you carefully picked your next words “I couldn’t see or find you so I thought it was voices from the spire…” Shadow Milk Cookie looked at you oddly but with a curious sly smile.

“Are you seriously lying? To me? The Virtue of Deceit? Oh how enlightening this is” Shadow Milk Cookie smiled darkly. “Oh how you always spoke with truth that spoiled your mouth rotten! But here you are! Lying to me? Your good old friend? I know you better than that Y/N Cookie yet you dare lie? How unusual of you!” He mocks as he laughs while you stood there with no thoughts.

“I just…didn’t expect thee to be here…” you started. “I assumed you went into hiding and-“ but then suddenly your mouth got covered by a finger.

“Shhhh” Shadow Milk Cookie hushed. “Let’s enjoy the night shall we?” He smiled. Indeed, it was tempting offer but you couldn’t face Shadow Milk Cookie the same as you did before pre-corruption. His face, the way it smiles back at you and glowed along with the moonlight radiating his features…he looks the same the day you lost him from the imprisonment. The memories all started flowing back to you, like a very fast record tape- It didn’t take long until the years of keeping the guilt piled up in your heart to finally spill out. You were in deep sorrow, tears kept dripping down your face, you hugged yourself as you cried while Shadow Milk Cookie just looked at you in shock. What could he say? How was he even supposed to react to this? You, his calm, patient, and enduring friend- crying…? Crying?…crying? He has never seen you in such deep sorrow. “H-hey! What’s with the sad face friend? Could it-“ he was cut off with the intensely fast repeated mumbled of ‘I’m sorry’.

“I’m sorry…” You sniffled as you tried to hold both of his hands as you hiccuped from the overbearing guilt. “I’m- I’m so so sorry…” Shadow Milk Cookie just floated and stared. “I wish- I wish I could have saved you…and the others- yet it was my fault I have left you all…I have betrayed my friends…and instead of confronting it and dealing with the truth- I have ignored reality…I have made myself to believe in delusions- a reality to where I shan’t believe it would exist- to ignore a past that held importance to my heart; I thought I was doing the right and helped the witches imprison you all- yet my heart burns with pain, guilt, and sorrow” you explained as you cried, tears kept falling like a waterfall, it was never ending. “I wish to ask one thing Shadow Milk Cookie…would you forgive me? For what I have done to you…to Eternal Sugar Cookie…to Burning Spice Cookie…to Mythic Flour Cookie…to Silent Salt Cookie- just all of you!”

“Well…” Shadow Milk Cookie started “I did had a script going since I was going to try to corrupt you so you could join us but it seems that act will go into the trash can,” he smiled sadly, because you see the plan was to find you all alone here and since there would be no one near the area he would have taken advantage to your terrible mindset as you have currently as it will effectively make the corruption easier to shape and commute. However he didn’t expect it to be this…bad- after all he knew you had strong will and was strong in every aspect; yet here you are crying in his arms whispering apologies like a broken record, he didn’t expect the guilt that has been eating you alive would be this bad. He also didn’t expect the real truth that spoke from your tongue; indeed all the virtues believed you rebelled, you were somehow manipulated from the start, you, their beloved friend was made to perish them in the beginning- yet here you are apologizing and acknowledging your faults. 

“It’s alright Y/N Cookie…really don’t take it to heart…” Shadow Milk Cookie calmly and slowly forgave. “Although I should also be sorry for just- um- well- forcing you to try to join me I suppose- I just really missed you…and I didn’t want to lose you again- and I knew how much that dream meant to you but I was trying to stop you from continuing it because I knew from my experience it would be hopeless” He apologized as you looked at him with your teary eyes.

“It’s alright…I suppose I was going to see the truth of the past sooner or later…whether it was forced upon thy eyes to see or it would have been through an adventure where I would have dealt it alone,” You whispered as you forgave. You and Shadow Milk Cookie hugged each other in comfortable silence, in the mist of the broken, tattered garden of the worn down spire of knowledge. Indeed the memories of the past has gathered and stay, you both laughed heartedly as you both watched the luminous face of the moon going down as both of yours and Shadow Milk Cookie’s souljams shined along with the stars that twinkled in the night started to fade in the distance.

“You seemed more bright and happier than usual Y/N Cookie!” Ginger brave Cookie explained as you smiled with your lance at hand.

“Ah foresooth Gingerbrave Cookie Esquire! For Thy had such a wonderful and ingenious dream!” You exclaimed with stars shining in your eyes.

“Oh? What is this dream you so speak of Y/N Cookie?” Pure Vanilla Cookie smiled at you gently as you faced at him for a bit.

“Um…well…” You started as you sweated a bit “Perhaps such a dream must be kept secret- perhaps it shan’t to become true- I apologize Pure Vanilla Cookie Esquire!” You apologized loudly, probably almost shaking the forest.

“Ah…it’s no worries but I bet it was a lovely dream” Pure Vanilla Cookie reassured.

“Foresooth Pure Vanilla Cookie Esquire,” you said softly as you smiled “for it was a dream that was meant to be granted from the start” you finished as you held a brooch that had accents of blue, black, and white- a bit of gold and clearly held a close resemblance of a certain playful cookie.

Fin

I DEFINITELY WROTE SHADOW MILK COOKIE SO OOC BC WHAT WAS THAT 😭

So admittedly I wanted to get the reader to comfort Shadow Milk Cookie cuz he was the one who was supposed to like crash out emotionally to the reader but I blanked out and somehow switched the roles for that section and I really didn’t want to rewrite that whole thing😭 I’m sorry guys!

Like the plan was Shadow Milk Cookie was supposed to isolate the reader near the spire and try to feed the reader sweet deceit all over again to try to get them corrupted but then realizes the plan wasn’t working so then Shadow Milk Cookie like crashes out and becomes an emotional mess and then reader comforts them- but CLEARLY that didn’t happen 😭

Anyways I had an essay due but I said nop time to write this instead

Also I’m feeling a bit artsy, maybe next post would be a drawing? Give me ideas please ( ´∀｀)

Or maybe it’ll be another fic but an evil au, one where Y/N Cookie actually followed the script and fell into corruption like the other Virtues (might come in like waaaay later)

Tag list: @donnie-is-da-best @floweriya @haveneulalie @isak-sillydemon @f4nd0msl0v3r @sillysprinkel @kur1kur1chan

[zo2mess]

Bliss In Vegas

Summary: The team landed a mission in Las Vegas, because what could possibly go wrong in the world’s most innocent city, right? Fast forward through a whirlwind of chaos, and somehow no one got hurt… but you woke up in bed with Adrian, nearly naked, and two ring pops on your fingers.

Warnings: 18+ Brief smut, hand stuff, spit stuff, alcohol consumption, crude language, I guess that’s it? (Morning breath! I’m so fucking sorry, it was all I could think about when I was writing this. Just ignore it exists for a while O_o)

Word count: 4.4k

Masterlist of my works

Note: Adrian in tighty whities with beer all over him made me incredibly feral and ready to finish this little thing I started a few months ago. Eh, it is something I guess? I just wanted to get over it.

And listen, I have never written about any of the other 11th Street Kids before, except for Adrian; apologies if any of them feel weird.

You know the saying? What happens in Vegas…

“Don’t stay in Vegas,” Harcourt sternly noted at the end of her little briefing of the next so-called mission. The fact that they still needed to take care of some stray swarms of butterflies even after terminating the cow was inconvenient, said mildly. “We do our job and go back, no random stops in any of the facilities.”

Those butterfly survivors would eventually die of starvation, but ARGUS was suspicious of large groupings of them in certain areas. They could be spending their last days together as a species, or maybe, just maybe, they’re trying to find a way to stay alive and find a new source of food, which was a dangerous idea.

One of those groups was flying free between casinos and strip clubs in Vegas, Nevada. Really troublesome area to be sending this team. It was practically screaming disaster.

“Why are they sending us? I thought we were done!” Leota protested, exchanging a questioning look with John who was in the same shock as her. Vegas was way out of hand and the last thing she wanted was to spend time away from her wife and furbabies.

“The official reason is that we are now experts on butterflies when it comes to terminating them-“

“The real reason is that we are seriously underpaid and we’re a cheap workforce” Economos interrupted Harcourt in a matter of seconds, saying the real reason for the little trip awaiting you.

Chris with Adrian, on the other hand, were doing their best not to let anyone know how excited they were. You could feel Adrian vibrating out of his skin next to you. No doubt he was already thinking how he and Peacemaker will stop crime, get wasted, and cruise some bitches. The real question was how they would break free from Harcourt's gaze and go astray. “Wait, you guys are getting paid?”

One way or another, this outing in Vegas was bound to be legendary.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

The whole mission felt like a dream, after shooting up butterflies it was already too late to be driving back home, so Harcourt allowed crashing at a hotel until morning. You would think everyone felt like you, exhausted after the long trip and crashing little alien bugs, but no.

Chris and Adrian were pretty much excited to be hitting the town, and a person would think Adrian would at least clean his boots that still had alien goo all over them after he cheerily stomped on butterflies all day.

It wasn’t just the casinos, bars, and strip clubs waiting to strip lost souls of all their money. On the lit-up alleys, lined up were hustlers with classic shell games, women imitating peacocks adorned with faux gold and feathers, shady watch sellers, and more or less inconspicuous pickpockets. And just like tigers in a zoo, it was best to simply watch them pacing impatiently in circles—but anyone who sticks their hand into the enclosure quickly loses it.

All these predators, performing various tricks to catch their prey, prove once and for all that human creativity and the desire for money know no bounds.

In the end, you could not just lie in your hotel bed when Las Vegas was right on the other side of your window, teasing and luring with colorful blinding lights and loud music playing from every corner, the better side of Vegas. Plus the second Adrian put on his puppy eyes and whiny begging tone you were a goner.

How could you say no?

And that was the beginning of the most memorable night you did not remember.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

When you stirred awake you felt too hot and cold at the same time, head pounding and the ringing in your ears didn’t make it easier to open your eyes. The strongest hangover you ever had was making itself known, though hangovers usually don’t make you feel you are being pushed into the mattress and making your hand sweaty?

No, no, that wasn’t sweat, was it?

The morning sun shining into the hotel room immediately blinded you when you tried to open your eyes, but you managed to at least get a look at what was causing at least half of your discomfort.

Adrian.

Nearly naked Adrian lying on top of you.

Adrian that was drooling all over your fingers as he sucked on the ring pop on your finger from his sleep.

What?

His frame completely enveloped your body, transferring his body heat to you and making you feel breathless. Adrian lounged in just his boxers and once you looked around your room you found piles of clothes all over the small cheap hotel room.

His jeans on the ground, glasses on the bedside table, His holey socks hanging from the edge of the bed with… your top and jeans? Then whose shirt were you wearing?

Adrian’s room was right next to you, why was he sleeping in your bed?

Too many questions, too little answers.

You tried to gently ease Adrian from your body and roll him to the side, but goddamn, was he heavy. You could try again and again and he just wouldn’t budge.

He groaned from his sleep because of your constant nagging but he didn’t move an inch, at least he stopped sucking on the lollipop, “Stop wiggling, I’m gonna get a boner”. Gods, how could his voice sound so raspy and whiny at the same time?

“Adrian! What are you doing here?” you slapped his shoulder in an attempt to wake him up, which finally worked, he lifted his head while he just barely opened his eyes, blinking away the blurriness of his vision. Those half-lidded green eyes and tousled hair did something for you, it was hard to admit it though.

“I would be sleeping if you weren’t slapping me and making my cock hard” He mumbled nonchalantly and settled back on your chest, nuzzling to your boobs like it was the most normal thing to do. “Your tits are amazing pillow, you know that?”

Another slap. Another yelp from Adrian.

Under different circumstances, you would have enjoyed cuddling with Adrian, it’s not like you were completely resistant to his charm, or whatever that illuminates him, which makes him so enamoring.

But not right now, not when you had no idea how you got to bed, how he got in your bed, why you were almost naked, when your head was pounding, and also…

Why did you both have ring pops on your fingers?

You didn’t notice it at first, but once you did, it made gears in your head turn really hard to put one and one together. You took his hand in yours, studying his blue raspberry ring pop and comparing it to your strawberry one, but other than the fact yours was way smaller and wet from Adrian’s constant sucking, nothing stood out.

And Adrian didn’t even notice something was on his finger until you lifted his hand. Unbothered king. He was getting on the rest of your nerves that remained after the wild night.

“Oh my god! Twinsies!” How was he so cheery in the morning? He must have drunk a similar amount of alcohol as you did, but it seems his body doesn’t believe in hangovers.

When you started pushing him from your body again, he finally rolled off onto his back with a loud huff. What a way to wake up, hangover in a Vegas hotel. The only thing missing was an Elvis impersonator singing under the balcony. ‘Thank you, thank you’ he would mumble with that deep voice as you would throw a few cents at him.

Adrian laid still extremely close to you, shoulders touching and all, and stared at the ceiling with a dumb smile on his face while you were panicking next to him. How did this happen?

“Do you remember anything?”

“Nope.”

“Aren’t you concerned?”

“Nope.”

“Do you think we fucked?”

“Nah, you would have felt it.”

“You mean with that thimble of yours?”

He just snorted, tilting his head to the side to laugh right in your face. You didn't even have the energy to question what was so amusing about his thimble dick. But for that moment of Adrian laughing at you for no apparent reason, it felt like a normal day. Like you were back at HQ, relaxing on one of the worn-out couches with Adrian in his armor beside you, chatting about something ridiculous while polishing his knives and rolling his head to look at you, trying not to smile.

However, it all vanished away when Adrian lifted and knelt on the bed and a bunch of casino chips started falling from his boxers. Chip after chip pooling around his thick thighs. And it looked like he was surprised in the same way you were.

The right question would probably be why he stored his wins in underwear, second, why he went to sleep with them, and the third one…

“How did you win so much?”

“My brother taught me how to count cards, it’s really easy once you get the hang of it. But that doesn’t matter right now, what matters is that I need to exchange these crotch doubloons for real money,��� He collected his chips and started admiring them in the morning light shining directly at him. “I am gonna be so rich, dude.”

Those little coins with fluorescent details flooded the room with colorful reflections. Spots of blue, green, red and pink decorated the furniture as well as your skin. If your skin wasn’t already buzzing from Adrian’s touch, you would be able to imagine the light tickling you.

“Come on, we’re going to get even more drunk to celebrate me being a fucking millionaire,” Adrian’s face lit up, what a fucking sunshine, you wanted to punch him in the face when he grabbed the blanket shielding your lower body from his greedy eyes. The cold air in the room was relentless, enveloping your body and leaving goosebumps in its wake. You could not get a break with the dumbass.

“Goddamn, do you wear this pathetic excuse for panties under your suit?” Adrian let out a wolf whistle and stared right between your legs without any shame. “You should have told me that sooner!”

Your panties? What was wrong with them?

One blurry look down and you know exactly what was wrong. “Those are not my panties.”

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t have white lace panties.”

“Wait, wait,” Adrian leaned extremely close to your crotch, examining the red embroidery that decorated the hem of mystery underwear. “Here it says… Congratulations to the happy couple from Bliss wedding chapel.”

“Say what?” Your eyes nearly bulged out of their eye sockets. The embroidery was a sign of something horribly dooming. White panties from the wedding chapel really weren’t a good thing for someone who did not intend to get married. And oh, the horror of wearing something gifted from a drive-through wedding chapel.

“What,” Adrian replied to your shocked words with a confused look. It seemed like he did not realize what it meant. Either that or he didn’t care at all about being married to his colleague.

“Ade, are you even registering what that means?” It was like your heart dropped down to your stomach. Did it mean what you thought it did? Were you fucking married? In Vegas? And without remembering anything?

“Oh my god, are you my wife?” He lifted from between your legs, which was fucking painful thing to do when the thing he wanted the most was to be buried between them. His face weirdly lit up, unclear if with shock or happiness, “Am I your husband?”

“No, that must be some misunderstanding, right?” You jolted up, scrambling out of bed with a bunch of uncoordinated jerks of limbs. It was a miracle you hadn’t fallen right on your face. Damn those sweet juicy drinks that weaken your brain!

“We need to talk with others, they must know something, right?” You were more or less talking to yourself, babbling how it is impossible you got married with freaking Adrian Chase without remembering anything.

Adrian was still too absorbed in those chips on the bed and the ring pop on your fingers. One of his focuses meant he won money, the other that he was married, and the third, pretty, pretty thing in front of him was his wife. He completely ignored your panic, it was whatever.

He never was the kind to believe in fate, but goddamn, he must have done something really good to get all of this in one night.

“Ade, are you listening to me?” You almost touched those chips, fingers mere inches away, before you realized that Adrian had these shiny knick-knacks stashed away in his boxers the whole night. Your hand hovered above them, eyebrows furrowed.

“Oh, I see how it is,” Adrian watched you with a dumb smile, “Are you afraid of my crotch doubloons?”

“I don’t want to touch something that was near your dick” As simple as that, did he think it was normal?

“So you’re afraid of my dick” His smile widened with every word, he had that stupid expression on his face you still couldn’t look through. You had wondered several times what was going through his mind at those moments when his face twisted maliciously.

“I’m not afraid of your dick, Adrian.”

“Then touch it.”

“Why would I be touching your dick?”

“To prove you’re not a coward.” That stupid face was literally asking to be punched, but would that help your case? He looked abnormally good when he was hurt. “Plus, if we are married, we should consummate the marriage, right?”

“We’re not in the Middle Ages, Ade, we’re not married and I’m too hungover anyways”

Adrian noted in his mind that you didn’t say no because you didn’t like him outright, you said you had a hangover. This could mean two things; That you didn’t like him and hid it behind a lame excuse of drinking too much yesterday, or that you were actually hangover but did like him.

That must be the case. At least he hoped.

All this time, he was hoping you might get the hint that he liked you. He tried to be discreet, sending small signs like he saw in movies and read on Wikihow.

Make eye contact, look down, hold, slowly look back, look away, soft smile, scratch your neck, lick your lips, make eye contact again, wink…

And all this time you thought he was cursing you across the room when he tried this in team debriefings.

Being discreet was so unlike him, but he hoped it might seem normal, not like his usual attempts at flirting. And that was the problem. Adrian Chase, a guy desperate to share his every thought, sending subtle signs? Who could have caught that? Not you, that’s for certain.

“I mean… What is a hangover anyway? It’s when alcohol levels in your body drop to zero after heavy drinking. And one way to remedy that is drinking more,” He knew way too much for his own good, though after multiple horrible hangovers, he needed to know what was happening to him.

“Maybe if you finally got laid you wouldn’t be so cranky all the time, it's like a hangover” He finished his speech with a look that screamed anything but innocent.

Your blood suddenly grew hot, how dare he say you don’t have any game? Your hand shot up between his legs, touching him just like he dared you.

You fell right into a trap.

Say what you want about Adrian, he was stupid but not dumb. He hunts down criminals, he must know a thing or two how to trap his victim, how to get what he wants. Right now, he got you right he wanted. On a hotel bed, dressed just in his shirt and wedding panties and your hand on his dick.

Lucky bastard.

And you… You were a lucky bastard in a way too.

You could fondle his cock any way you wanted. This image haunted your dreams more than once. And what fool would you be if you didn’t take that chance.

Though the surprised look on your face was not something you imagined, when you got a good feel of Adrian ‘Thimble’ Chase. He was already semi-hard, and it made you wonder what caused it. Was it when you were nudging him in his sleep? Or when his nose caught a whiff of you while reading your underwear testament?

Maybe you would have to spread the word that your now husband was Mr. Definitely not Thimble.

You began running your hand up and down over him, slowly but surely making him even harder than he was. Adrian managed to keep his wide and confident smile just for few seconds. One gentle squeeze on his base, one swipe of your thumb over his covered tip, and he was a goner. His sparkling eyes fluttered closed, and this time, when he licked his lips, it didn’t look like he was licking away sauce from pasta at Fennel Fields.

While his hips gently rutted further into your touch, his hands shot to your hips. Strangely, he was slick with his touches, before you even knew it, his fingers were running under the sides of your white lace panties, just oh so desperate to feel your soft skin without anything else in the way.

“Is my tongue still red?” Adrian asked before sticking his tongue out, baring the surface of his tongue colored in deep red. What a weird question to be asking when you’re getting your dick fondled, though at this point you shouldn’t be surprised.

“Still very much red, why are you asking now?”

Adrian just grinned and eyed you up like a predator. Something was stirring in his mind.

Before you could ask him for the meaning of his question again, he lifted his hand with the big ring pop on his finger and pushed it into your mouth.

The second flavor of blue raspberry burst on your tongue you couldn’t blame him for sucking on your ring pop all night and drooling on your fingers.

While you enjoyed the artificial taste coating your taste buds, Adrian stared at you with a slack jaw and soft whimpers falling from his mouth. “Fuck, I wish you were sucking me like that”

Suddenly, he pulled away his hand, making you whine at the loss of your lolly. It didn’t take long before you had something else to focus on with your mouth though.

He practically lunged at you with his lips, pressing them against yours and setting a pace too fast for your sluggish mind. Adrian’s tongue demanded entrance in your mouth and before you could even register what he wanted, he was pulling at your chin, opening up your mouth for his wandering tongue.

You desperately wanted to match his frenzied pace, it was all too much and yet so good.

Adrian didn’t lick around your mouth like you would have expected, no, quite the opposite. He flattened his tongue over yours, making sure surfaces painted in red and blue brushed against each other.

Oh, so that’s what he was doing…

He wanted to combine them. Red and blue create purple. It would be a beautiful symbol for your new, and very very strange, marriage. Purple can, among other things, symbolize mystery, exactly that clouded over last night. It was still a mystery how you two ended up together. Did it matter anyway?

In the end, he was licking into your mouth like a dog. Panting like one, too.

When he pulled away from the kiss, a string of spit connected your swollen lips. Stretching, stretching, and stretching until it broke and landed on both of your chins. As you were reaching to wipe it off Adrian latched his lips onto your chin with unseen eagerness. The main idea was to help you with the excessive saliva, though he only made it worse.

He trailed open-mouthed kisses from your chin, across jaw, over cheeks, and ended by your ear, “Should I prove I’m not afraid of your pussy?” He whispered before licking the shell of your ear. One of his hands trailed the ring pop over your arm, leaving a sticky trail, while the other began prying between your legs.

“Wow, look at that,” He dared to chuckle after he slipped his fingers under the crotch of your panties, feeling your heat for the first time. You believed Adrian would comment on how wet you were for him, for Vigilante. But no, of course not.

“Your pussy doesn’t have teeth like I thought it would!”

And at that moment you promised yourself you will kill him right after he makes you cum. Not sooner nor later. As a simple warning, you tightened your grip you had on him over the boxers that were, much to your surprise, already stained with precum.

Let’s see how happy Adrian will be when he realizes his wife is a praying mantis in disguise.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

You didn’t bite Adrian’s head off after all, he looked too cute after you made him finish in his underwear. That boyish grin, puffy lips wet with your cum after he licked his fingers off with proud bravado, lively eyes that shined almost the same way as his casino chips…

No, you might just keep him a bit longer.

At least he stopped with his nagging while you took a shower together and dressed in clean clothes. All this time, Adrian watched you like a lost puppy, begging for affection. Each time you gave him a chaste kiss, he stopped whining for a mere second.

While Adrian was hungry for more kisses, and undoubtedly something more, you were actually hungry for some food and coffee or green tea to get you going for the day. So you made your way to the hotel’s small dining room.

Adrian threw all his casino chips on the table between breakfast plates and mugs, they clinked against the ceramics almost too loudly for your poor pounding head.

Everyone’s eyes fell on shiny colorful chips, Leota put down her butter bread so she could reach for them, thankfully you grabbed her wrist right before she could get her fingers on the chip lying next to her plate “Don’t touch that.”

She shot you a questioning look but trusted your judgment. No need to tell her where these chips were, especially if they were in the middle of the table and too close to food.

“Did I get married to Adrian yesterday?” You asked without any humor in your voice, eyes flickering between every single one of those guilty faces of your colleagues. Adrian, though, did not care at all about this little investigation. He was too blissful with married life to even question it.

“It was one of the weirdest ceremonies I have ever seen,” Leota cracked first, “You didn’t even want me as your bridesmaid! You chose John!”

Your eyes landed on Economos, sipping his coffee to hide from you, “I did my duty well” was all he added.

Then you took a good look at others, Harcourt kept staring forward, digging her fork in some scrambled eggs. Chris, on the other hand, was already showing Adrian photos on his phone and Adrian was smiling widely, pointing out small details from your wedding and muttering how beautiful you looked, wearing cheap-looking veil you rented and holding a bottle of vodka instead of a wedding bouquet.

You joined him, and all that anger and confusion blurred for a brief moment. You looked happy in those photos. Laughing, chatting, eyes sparkling like they haven’t for a while. Every single photo was suddenly so precious.

Those were your lost memories.

And the way you were holding onto Adrian, so tightly and lovingly… All those small details didn’t escape either of you. Adrian nudged you with his elbow “We look good together”.

And you did. You really did.

Flushed, drunk, happy.

With the promise of the team explaining on the way home, you dropped your investigation of last night and settled to finally have some breakfast. Both you and Adrian get the leftovers in the form of yogurt. “Snoozers losers,” Chris added.

It was like you and Adrian had already synchronized, peeling the lid off, and licking some leftover yogurt at the same time. And in the meantime, everyone around the table could get a pretty good look at your purple tongues.

“See?! See that?” Chris called out way too loudly while pointing at you, “Did you stick your dick in her?”

You nearly choked on your own saliva at that question. Who even asks that? Especially during hotel breakfast? Some people from other tables turned around when they heard it, eager to know what the hell was going on.

But Adrian smiled, lifted his hand and wiggled his digits “Just my fingers.”

A symphony of disgusted noises came from your team, suddenly your yoghurt didn’t look as appealing as it should. But hey, maybe there will be a time when you won’t be able to eat yoghurt without thinking of Adrian and his-

“I made sure the guy marrying you didn’t have a license for it to be legitimate,” Harcourt finally spoke up, much to the dismay of the rest of the team.

“Which was a fucking mistake! You know how hilarious it would be if these two goons were married for real?” Chris chimed in with a booming laugh just from the idea of the night of the outing ending in one happy couple, drunk out of their minds.

Weight dropped from your shoulders upon hearing you weren’t married for real to Vigilante over there. It was like the air finally cleared, and you could take a deep breath of that crisp morning air. You caught Adrian doing the same, sighing in relief.

But if you were for real, it also stung a little. Somehow, while you made your way to breakfast earlier, you already started planning what to do next. Who will move to whom, when you should go and change your name on your ID to Chase, if you should get rid of your coffee machine so Adrian wouldn’t have too much disposal of caffeine…

While you were lost in your head, thinking whenever you were actually happy or sad the dumbass next to you wasn't your partner for real, Adrian simply leaned closer to you and whispered with that dopey smile, “It’s fine. Next time I’ll be marrying you, I want to remember it.”

[ferrarifudds]

Sweet Tea. ✷ Lando Norris

Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader

Summary: When Lando tries to find forgiveness after an argument through acts of service.

Word Count: 1.3k

Disclaimer/s: established rel, fluff, kinda angst…. ish.

Vera’s Voice! Hi. this was fun to write :3 hope u enjoy mama ^_^ the lando oneshot grind doesn’t stop.

The hum of the heating system filled the stillness of the apartment. It wasn’t exactly peaceful—more like tense, suffocating, and heavy.

You sat curled up on the couch, a blanket wrapped tightly around your shoulders, your phone glowing faintly in your hands. You scrolled aimlessly, not really reading anything, but it was better than thinking about the argument that had left you and Lando in this standoff.

From the corner of your eye, you saw him pacing between the living room and the kitchen. He wasn’t saying anything—he hadn’t since you’d gone quiet—but his restless movements said enough.

He hated silence, especially when it was because of you.

The fight hadn’t started as anything serious, just a playful back-and-forth after a long day. But his teasing had crossed a line without him realizing it, and you’d snapped.

“You don’t need to be so dramatic about everything,” He said, half-laughing, when you’d voiced your frustrations about something that had been bothering you for days.

The words had stung, lodging themselves deep in your chest. You didn’t know if it was the dismissive tone, the laughter, or just the stress of the week catching up to you, but you’d shut down completely after that.

No sarcastic comeback, no explanation, just cold, steely silence.

And Lando?

He hadn’t done much to help himself. Instead of apologizing, he’d groaned, muttering, “Oh, come on, don’t do this,” as if your feelings were an inconvenience to him.

That was what had really sealed it.

So now you were here, refusing to meet his eyes, letting the silence stretch longer and longer.

From the kitchen came the faint clink of dishes. You glanced up briefly, noticing Lando hunched over the counter, his brows furrowed in concentration.

He was making something.

But what?

You couldn’t quite tell.

You wanted to stay mad—wanted him to feel the weight of how much his words had hurt—but curiosity gnawed at you.

Lando wasn’t exactly a chef, and him fumbling around in the kitchen was unusual.

A few minutes later, his footsteps padded softly toward you. He stopped just in front of the couch, hesitating before placing a small plate on the coffee table.

Beside it, a steaming mug of tea.

You looked down, your stomach tightening at the sight. It was your favorite treat, carefully prepared just the way you liked it.

The tea even seemed to have the right amount of honey—he must’ve measured it out because he always teased you for how sweet you liked it.

“Here,” Hr said quietly, his voice almost timid. “I, uh… I thought you might be hungry.”

You stared at the plate for a moment, then looked up at him. His hands were stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie, his lips pressed into a tight line.

“I’m sorry,” He added quickly, before you could say anything. “I was a complete ass earlier. I didn’t mean to brush you off like that—I wasn’t thinking.”

You didn’t say anything, though the sincerity in his voice made your chest ache. Instead, you reached for the mug, cradling it in your hands.

Lando shifted awkwardly, like he wasn’t sure whether to stay or give you space.

After a moment, he sighed, running a hand through his messy curls. “I don’t like seeing you upset. Especially when it’s my fault. I know I messed up, but I hate this—” He gestured vaguely between the two of you, “—this cold shoulder thing. Can we please talk?”

You finally set the mug back down, fixing him with a pointed look. “Talk? Like how we talked earlier and you laughed at me?”

He winced, guilt flashing across his face. “I didn’t mean it like that. I thought I was being funny, but I wasn’t. I didn’t realize how much it was bothering you. That’s on me.”

“You made me feel stupid for being upset,” You said quietly, the words spilling out before you could stop them. “Like I was overreacting.”

His expression softened, and he dropped onto the couch beside you, careful to keep some space between you. “You weren’t overreacting,” He said, his voice low. “I swear, I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I was just being an idiot. You know I’m terrible at serious conversations.”

“That’s not an excuse, Lando.”

“I know,” He said quickly. “I know. I’m not trying to make excuses. I just… I’m sorry. Really. I should’ve listened instead of brushing you off.”

You let out a soft sigh, your fingers tightening around the edge of the blanket. Part of you wanted to hold onto the anger, to make him sweat a little longer, but the vulnerability in his voice was breaking down your walls.

Lando reached out hesitantly, his fingers brushing against your knee. “I’ll do better,” he sighed, his voice almost a whisper. “I don’t want to make you feel like that again.”

You glanced at him, taking in the way his brows were knit together, the way his lips were pressed into a thin line. He looked genuinely remorseful, and your heart softened despite yourself.

“I just want you to take me seriously,” You said quietly.

“I will,” he promised, his hand gently resting on your knee now. “I mean it.”

For a moment, neither of you spoke. Then, finally, you let out a small sigh. “Okay.”

His head shot up, hope sparking in his eyes. “Okay?”

“Okay,” you repeated, a small smile tugging at your lips despite yourself. “But don’t think this means you’re off the hook.”

He grinned, leaning in slightly. “Noted.”

You rolled your eyes but didn’t pull away when he shifted closer, his hand sliding up to your cheek. “I’m sorry again.” He muttered as he shifted even closer.

You didn’t answer, but the way you leaned into him was all the permission he needed. His lips brushed against yours, soft and tentative at first, then firmer as you kissed him back.

When you finally pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, a soft smile playing on his lips. “Are you still mad at me?”

You laughed, shaking your head. “When am I never mad at you.” Rolling your eyes as you slightly joked. “But, seriously. I am still a little mad.”

He grinned, pressing another quick kiss to your temple before pulling you into a warm hug. “I’ll take what I can get,” he murmured, his arms wrapping tightly around you.

As you leaned into his embrace, the weight of the argument melted away, leaving only the warmth of his love—and the promise to do better.

likes, comments, & reblogs appreciated!!! ^_^ follow me for more & ask if you’d like to be apart of my tag list!!!!

tags! @planetpedri @halfwayhearted @wdcbox @freyathehuntress

[harunayuuka2060]

MC: ...Huh?

The woman they dated: I'm sorry... for thinking that this would work...

MC: ...

MC: Is there a reason?

The woman they dated: I-I still think you're admirable! B-but I don't deserve someone like you! I hope you understand!

MC: ...

MC: *smiles reassuringly* It's okay.

The woman they dated: I'm really sorry! I hope you have a nice day! *bows and then immediately leaves*

MC: ...

Lucifer and Diavolo: ...

MC: *is working silently*

Lucifer: ...

Lucifer: *decides to approach them*

Lucifer: MC, is everything okay?

MC: ...

MC: *smiles* Yes, why?

Lucifer: It's your day off today. How come you're here?

MC: The date was cancelled.

Lucifer: ...What?

MC: She apologized for the inconvenience. *chuckles*

MC: It seems I'm not ideal as a long-term partner.

Lucifer: Don't say that. Do you remember how we used to argue just to get your attention?

MC: Yeah, but as the saying goes, time has a way of humbling you.

MC: I'm sure that something in me has changed and others could see it.

MC: ...

MC: *tries to cheer themselves up* Anyway, does this report need to be revised?

Lucifer: No. It's fine as it is.

MC: Okay.

Lucifer: ...

Diavolo: ...

Diavolo: Lucifer, you said she was sincere with them. How did it end up like this?

Lucifer: I don't know.

Diavolo: ...

Diavolo: Earlier, MC felt insecure about themselves.

Lucifer and Diavolo: ...

Lucifer: *sigh* This is frustrating.

MC: *spacing out, not noticing Barbatos sitting next to them and staring at them*

Barbatos: ...

Barbatos: MC.

MC: !

Barbatos: *smiles* Is something bothering you?

MC: ...

MC: Just thinking about something...

Barbatos: ...

Barbatos: What is it?

MC: ...

MC: Our previous relationship... Looking back now, you had every right to leave me.

Barbatos: Huh?

MC: Now that I have no emotions attached, I think I can clearly see what went wrong. *chuckles*

MC: Why am I even saying this? Don't mind me.

Barbatos: *feeling a sense of guilt*

[doctorcurdlejr]

This is from a longer post I wrote about I saw the tv glow but just posting this bit on its own bc of the conversation around the movie I guess:

The point is that this movie is one big glaring trans allegory about how it sucks dog shit to live in the suburbs, and even at our most repressed we find these little snow globes of actualization in the glow of a tv screen that isn't afraid to show you the world you see. I've seen some people say that, like, in this context accepting or coming into your transness is this monumental death of self, which I get, but I feel there lacks a nuance in that because either way Owen is dying. Unlike Maddy who buries herself alive only to come out renewed, Owen doesn't kill himself upon facing the reality that the world is constructed to keep him miserable and the only way out is to take back what it is that the world wants to keep scooped out of him. Instead he just passively lets it drag him to a much more permanent death. This lack of suicide sucks in the kind of way that forces you to sit in your car on the midnight drive home and think to yourself am I letting myself suffocate because at some point knowing the misery became less scary than admitting I've been capable of doing something about it the whole time?

Maddy is an out lesbian who left town to escape the misery and found it strapped to her ankles. She slinks out, an animal pressed against the gymnasium floor, and says "I'm not telling you anything you don't already know." Owen looks into the camera and narrates. He cuts himself open with a box cutter, fully acknowledges what's there, and the movie ends with his suffocating apology parade for the unremarkable inconvenience of his excruciating suffering. You can be gay and trans, you can know it and you can stop repressing it, but you're not going to stop suffocating until you can find a way to destroy the part of you that truly deeply does want to die, reaching for the comforting euthanasia of normalcy. Stop visiting the dream of the life you want and make it into your reality with the same kind of unrepentant conviction seen in some underfunded but wildly ambitious teen television series. In other words: you must try to survive the ego death of being weird. A weirdo, who doesn't fit in and doesn't want to fit in.

[sevsgiirl]

— this love is glowing in the dark.

sevika week 2025: phantom pains, day 5.

synopsis: sevika has spent most of her life not asking for help, pushing it away even. but when the time came where the pain became too much to bear, she looked to you for salvation.

word count: 1.6k

tags: TONS of angst but with comfort, mentions of injury and recovery.

note: happy day 5 of sevika week, loves! for today’s prompt I chose phantom pains and I really like this one because I was able to explore more of sevika’s struggles with the loss of her arm. so I hope you guys like this too!

she doesn’t want you to see her like this.

she knows her moments of weakness won’t make you love her any less. in the time that you two have been together, you’ve witnessed each other at your highest and at your lowest, and you’ve told her time and time again the same exact thing:

“I won’t go anywhere just because there are days where you don’t feel like your best. you do so much for others already, you don’t need to be everything all at once. especially when it comes to me.”

and she’s held onto that promise very dearly, but she’d be lying if she said that just because you told her you’d love her in spite of her short comings doesn’t mean she’d allow herself to show them to you.

then the incident happened.

when you got the news, you wanted to tear silco a new one. bury him six feet under if you had to, because the sight that greeted you when ran informed you about the explosion and what it did to sevika’s arm, it took everything in you not to break down in tears when you rushed into singed’s lab and saw her lying motionless on the metal bedding where singed performed his surgery.

you had to be physically pulled back when you tried getting to her.

your eyes were bloodshot and narrowed into slits as silco met your fiery gaze with a look of controlled sympathy.

“I apologize for the inconvenience, but rest assured singed will do everything in his power to fix the situation,” he said, referring to her injury as if it was the common flu.

your jaw fell open “inconvenience? inconvenience?! she lost her fucking arm, silco! she’s unconscious for crying out loud! I can’t believe you’d let something like this happen to her! I can’t fucking believe you!”

he let you scream, cry and curse at him until you lost your voice because he knew it was your only way of showing contempt, because anything else was risky - and even you knew that. so you screamed until your throat stung and ran dragged you out of the lab and back to the last drop.

rubbing your back as you cried into your hands, offering their support.

“hey, it’s okay.” ran reassured “she’ll get through it, she’s strong.”

“it’s not about being strong, ran. but this has gone too far. silco knows how much sevika wants to be of use and he fucking took advantage of that. now she played martyr and it caused her so much more than what she should’ve been willing to sacrifice for him,” you spat out, venom dripping from your words.

ran gulped, not knowing what to say “and I understand that, but it’s not like there’s anything we can do.”

you hated the way they said it, like it was a lost cause. as if everything that happened couldn’t have been prevented when you know if you had been there, nothing would’ve happened to her.

but you know her. it’s not like this was out of character for sevika, she’s always been sacrificial, not knowing her limits, and it infuriated you because you knew this attitude of hers was eventually going to lead her down a path she won’t be able to undo.

and you were right.

but still, despite your frustrations you stayed beside her every step of the way and helped her with recovery. it took months for her even to properly get out of bed without having one side of her body completely drag her down, but she was quick to adapt like she always does.

silco went out of his way to commission one of the chembarons a prosthetic for her, not only because he felt like he owed it to her but because you knew he still needed her to be of use to him.

and that angered you in ways where you felt like killing him, especially when you saw the vials of shimmer attached to the mech arm that served to enhance her senses, because in his words:

“due to the loss of your arm it’d be harder to engage in combat. because if you’re still willing to work for me, I need you to be at your absolute best,”

when she told you what he said you could only scoff in response “he has a lot of fucking nerve to ask so much from you after what you’ve already done for him,”

sevika sighed, shaking her head “I was the one who jumped in front of him-“

“still! the least he could do is not act like a jackass! as if you owe him your life!”

“he’s doing what he can to rebuild the under city, and I owe my life to zaun. what I do for him, I do for our people,” she told you, her eyes sunken and pleading “so don’t be unfair. please.”

indignation seeped in as you stared at her with your eyebrows furrowed “I’m not. but you wanna know what is unfair? risking your life for a cause that’s going to take you apart one by one,” you argued “and by the looks of it, you’re already getting there,”

it was hard to navigate the outcome of the explosion but you knew sevika’s well being was above your pride and your resentment.

because yes, even though you were mad at silco it’s not like you can reverse time. and you didn’t want sevika to feel as though what the explosion did to her was a burden to you when it’s not.

you’d walk through the ends of the earth if it meant you’d keep her safe and that she was well taken care of.

that’s why it broke your heart every single day as you watched her recover from her injury and how it just took a toll on her.

whether it was during the day while doing simple chores, or at night when she’d suddenly shoot up from bed, clutching her left shoulder as the pain of the explosion lingered and thrummed through her veins like poison.

she’d let out curses but she’d never shed a tear, insisting time and time again that she was alright. to not make a huge fuss over it.

“I’m fine,” had become a mantra in her daily vocabulary.

and when the time came her new prosthetic was made, you could see the relief on her face knowing from that day onwards, it was going to be less unbearable managing her day to day life. because now at least a piece of her wasn’t missing, or so she’d like to think.

but it wasn’t easy getting used to it at first, especially when screws needed to be tightened and she kept telling you that she got it, that she didn’t need any help, that she was fine. that she’s got this.

but it wasn’t until one night she came home all battered and bruised with her prosthetic in ruins and hanging off, that she could only look at you with somber eyes, a million words being exchanged yet not a single one being spoken.

again, she hated that you had to see her like this. because she was supposed to be the stronger one between you two - the one who protected the other and not the other way around.

“I’m fine, I can take it from here,” she said in a grave tone as she reached forward to try and grab the screw driver from you.

to which you pulled away, settling it down far away from her and before she could protest, you took her face in between your palms, forcing her to look you in the eye as sevika stared back and saw the way your lashes were stained with tears.

“sev, stop. just stop. I know it’s in your nature to want to do everything by yourself, but please just for once. let me help you,”

“I already said that I don’t need-“

“then I might as well leave,”

her heart immediately sunk to her stomach, staring at you with so much panic in her eyes “w-what are you-“

“if you’re so hell bent on not wanting help from me I don’t see the point of this relationship if all you ever do is push me away when I try to be there for you. I’m not doing this out of fucking pity, vika.” you hissed, the fire in your eyes as strong as ever as you glared at her.

then it dwindled into something softer, more vulnerable, frightened “… I’m doing this because I love you.” you said, your voice merely a whisper “because I’d do anything for you the same way you’d do anything for me. and if something happened to you again I wouldn’t know what to do with myself,”

she was quiet, letting your words sink in as you reached for her right hand and laced your fingers with her own - bringing it up as you kissed her bloodied knuckles.

lifting your head as you stared at the light that emitted from beneath her scars, and how they glowed brighter with each deep breath she took.

and how it reminded you of the the time when you told her that you saw her as a painting, so perfect and striking.

and you still stand by it now, even when the paint has cracked and chipped off at the edges.

she was beautiful then, and my god, was even more beautiful now. even when she doesn’t see it.

“I love you,” you muttered “and I’m here even when the pain gets so unbearable - I’ll shoulder it for you if I have to. just please, don’t hide it away from me.”

she spoke not a single word, but instead, she let herself fall into your arms as you caught her, her head being cushioned by your shoulder as she lets out a shaky breath.

“… it hurts,” she muttered, not bothering to conceal it any longer “it hurts so fucking bad,”

you closed your eyes, holding her tighter “I know, baby. I know.”

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

never stop deal with this so this your periodic reminder that

⬇️

!! if you see someone write different online. unless they explicitly tell you something different. leave them alone. don’t comment on their write. don’t do anything unprompted to “help” without ask. it rude annoying we heard it million times promise. !!

⬆️

some people with language disorders. agrammatism. cognitive struggles. or write with symbol base AAC that not support grammar inflections.

yes we will sometimes write different than you use to.

yes it not “correct grammar,” you so observant (sarcasm).

no it not for fun, no it not choice, no it not writing quirk.

whatever you want say, we probably heard it million times. yes even if it friendly joke - n we appreciate you friendly. but please

great that it “actually help you read/understand better than full grammar.” some people may like you tell them that. but personally not want hear it too - my way write my disability, it about me n it not on purpose it out of my control. would rather you talk about how way break down concept (something can actually control n try really hard at) as easy understand.

“this just gave stroke/seizure/whatever ‘funny’ ‘edgy’ disability” joke. not that anyone make it would listen but. shut up. it not funny to me it not funny to stroke survivors or to seizure havers.

decide stop apologize for exist if it hard read. even if you have receptive language / comprehension / reading / cognitive / etc disability - it unfortunate but conflicting accessibility exist. (yes, do understand actually, because speak from experience.)

if you want know what am say please at least put in some effort to read it.

if after genuine try, still struggle, do what you do when you see tumblr post in “perfect grammar” you don’t understand - polite ask for explain or rephrase or summarize.

it still english, or whatever language person use. unless you actual look for it be turn different language, it still english, no you not need “translate.” (no don’t care that “translate” okay in writing quirk community because again. not writing quirk)

not “fix.”

and. understand sometimes we can’t rephrase in different way, even if that different way include still write different.

personally am allow other people answer “can you rephrase” questions without go through me first, for now, because of this. - but understand this is reluctant compromise. because:

understand sometimes we still sensitive to other people rewrite explain in perfect grammar. because have long history of people refuse put effort in read our stuff but instead always give more attention to people who write perfect, even if their writing not any less complicated than ours. because have long history of be charity case n get unsolicit “help” “translate” when we never ask.

because have long history of be forcibly spoken for n be misunderstood. because people who answer may (& many times do) get it wrong & we then have to spend more effort chase down n correct when we already struggle with communication, n that other version always spread faster than our correction.

so know other people who write different, don’t allow people rephrase at all unless go through them first. please also respect that even if inconvenient.

n on that note.

unless we give you explicit permission to you (like “you specifically can do it” or like above “can do it if someone ask,” or “anyone can do it all times”). don’t. don’t rewrite what we write into correct grammar, into perfect grammar.

don’t give random disabled person unsolicited help. it not friendly it not helpful it rude n annoying. not your charity case. who even are you. no one asked.

none. of. your. business.

not need your fix. get off moral high ground.

n like everything. there some jokes n comments that *some* people who write different may be okay with if they friend with that person make it - sometimes opposite of what this post say. if you not friend with that person then. maybe don’t.

people who write different not all same. sometimes okay or not okay with different things. but. this general see.

the first time you hear about [stuff am tell you in post] probably 456737th time we re-explain it. excuse us for be exhausted n done n our time be tired n angry n impatient.

this been a PSA.

[terraswallows]

Had an encounter today with a transphobic asshole.

So, this guy—big neckbeard looking dude, reeked of sweat and cheap deodorant. Like i mean full neckbeard, beer belly, sunglasses, the works—walks into the store where I work wearing a "Make America Great Again" hat while waiting for his family to buy a chess set. I know the family; they’re super chill, but apparently, this guy is their uncle or something.

While I’m ringing up the chess set, the mom compliments my nails and asks where I got them done. We’re chatting when this guy walks over and, with zero hesitation, says, "Real men don’t get their nails done. You one of them faggit types?"

I was so caught off guard that I barely had time to react before the mom nervously tried to brush it off, telling me to excuse him for being rude.

After taking a moment to collect myself, I just smiled and said, "It’s fine, these things happen. And you’re right—real men don’t get their nails done. But I’m not a real man. Well… not really. I’m actually transfemme."

His face twisted in confusion until his eyes landed on my trans flag belt. That’s when his expression shifted.

Before he could say anything, the mom smiled at me and said I looked wonderful. But then the guy grunted and muttered, "Ugh, it’s one of them. No wonder… I’m glad he’s doing what he’s doing. You people need to be stopped."

I was still processing that garbage when the mom apologized again, quickly packing up the chess set in a bag she’d brought. She said they’d be leaving now since they didn’t want to cause a scene.

But of course, the guy wasn’t done. He kept going: "You know, he’s right. Your kind really is a problem. We can’t have you corrupting our kids."

Through clenched teeth, I gave him my best customer service smile and said, "Everyone’s entitled to their opinion. However, I’m going to have to ask you to leave." Then I turned to the woman and said, "I’m sorry for the inconvenience. I hope you have a wonderful day."

The guy tried to keep ranting, but the mom snatched his hat off his head and dragged him out of the store, muttering under her breath about how he just had to do this here, on her kid’s birthday, of all days.

Later, my boss came over and asked if everything was okay. I nodded, but honestly? It’s infuriating. The same hate is spreading here, too (for context I live in South Africa). The bullshit happening in America is bleeding into everything and everywhere.

[i2rizz]

Stuck in a storm Pt.1

Summary: You get stuck in a storm with the Blue Lock boys.. how will they react?

Featuring: Isagi,Rin,Bachira,Kunigami,Chigiri

| masterlist

------------‐---------------------------------------

Yoichi Isagi

•At first, he tries to act calm and logical. He scans the surroundings, pointing out where to find the best shelter. "Over there—it looks like there’s a covered bus stop. Let’s head there before it gets worse."

•He’s the type to immediately offer his jacket even if it means standing in the rain himself. When you insist you don’t need it, he shakes his head. "No, seriously, I’m fine. Just take it. You’ll get sick if you don’t."

•Checks his phone obsessively for weather updates or to see if the storm will pass soon, only to groan when the signal cuts out. "Figures. Of course, the one time I actually need my phone…"

•He’s not used to moments like this and fidgets awkwardly while trying to keep you comfortable.

•When thunder cracks loudly and you flinch, his protective instincts kick in. Without thinking, he grabs your hand, his voice soft and reassuring. "It’s okay, I’m here."

•Later, when he realizes what he’s done, his face heats up, and he stammers out an apology. "Uh, sorry. That wasn’t weird, was it? I just… wanted to make sure you were okay."

•Deep down, though, he’s secretly happy he got to hold your hand, even if it was for a brief moment.

Rin Itoshi

•The moment it starts pouring, Rin groans in frustration. He pulls his hood up but glares at the storm like it personally offended him. "Just my luck," he mutters, his tone icy.

•He doesn’t say much at first, just scanning the area for shelter. When he spots a small abandoned shed nearby, he gestures for you to follow him. "Over there. Let’s go."

•The atmosphere is awkward at first because Rin doesn’t exactly know how to be comforting. Instead, he silently shrugs off his jacket and places it around your shoulders, avoiding eye contact. "Don’t argue. Just take it."

•Stands stiffly by the entrance, crossing his arms and muttering about how inconvenient the storm is. "I could be doing something productive right now."

•You try to lighten the mood by pointing out how pretty the lightning looks, and he gives you a sidelong glance. "It’s just light," he says flatly, but the faintest smirk tugs at his lips when he catches you staring at it in awe.

•When thunder rumbles and you instinctively grab his arm, he freezes but doesn’t pull away. His voice softens slightly. "You don’t have to act scared. It’s just noise."

Meguru Bachira

•When the rain starts, Bachira laughs like it’s the most exciting thing to ever happen. "This is awesome! Free shower, anyone?"

•He doesn’t even bother running at first, instead splashing through puddles like a kid. He turns back to you with a playful grin. "What? You’re gonna stand there and miss all the fun?"

•Eventually, he notices you shivering and drags you under a tree for some shelter, shaking out his hair like a wet dog and accidentally spraying water all over you. "Oops! My bad."

•To keep you distracted from the cold, he starts playing silly games like “Would You Rather” or “I Spy,” but his answers are always bizarre. "Would you rather fight a hundred duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck?"

•When thunder strikes and you jump, he doesn’t miss a beat. "Woah! Scary stuff, huh? Don’t worry, I’ll protect you!" He says it dramatically but ends up clinging to you instead.

•By the end of it, he’s convinced this whole situation is a “romantic adventure” and teases you about it. "See? Told you we’d make the most of this. Now we’ve got a stormy love story to tell everyone."

Rensuke Kunigami

•The responsible one, Kunigami immediately takes charge when the storm starts. "We need to find shelter before this gets worse. Come on, let’s move quickly."

•He keeps a protective arm around your back, guiding you toward the nearest safe spot he can find, which turns out to be an old pavilion.

•Once there, he insists on giving you his jacket, brushing off your protests. "I’ll be fine. You’re the one I’m worried about."

•Always prepared, he pulls a handkerchief from his pocket and offers it to you to dry your face. "It’s not much, but it’s better than nothing."

•To keep the mood light, he starts joking about how this feels like the beginning of a survival movie. "Think we’ll have to start rationing snacks soon?"

•When thunder rolls, and you cling to his arm, he chuckles softly but doesn’t say a word, just pulling you closer. His steady presence alone is enough to make you feel safe.

•After the rain lightens up, he looks at you with a gentle smile. "You okay now? Let’s get you somewhere warm."

Hyoma Chigiri

•When the rain starts, Chigiri lets out a dramatic sigh, already annoyed. "Great. Just what I needed today."

•He’s not a fan of running in the rain but picks up the pace slightly to make sure you’re not completely drenched.

•Finds a small overhang and guides you there, pulling you close so you can both share the limited space.

•Starts fussing over his hair, muttering about how it’s going to take forever to fix. "You don’t know how much effort it takes to keep it looking this good."

•Offers you his jacket with a teasing smirk. "But only because you’ll owe me after this. I don’t just hand out my stuff for free, you know."

•When thunder roars and you instinctively grab his arm, he raises an eyebrow but doesn’t pull away. Instead, he smirks and leans closer. "Scared? Don’t worry, I’ll protect you. You’re welcome."

•By the end of it, he’s back to teasing you, calling this the “most dramatic storm adventure ever.” But there’s a warmth in his eyes that shows he secretly enjoyed looking out for you.

[nyssasorbit]

What's Up With Subaru: My Thoughts

I've been seeing a lot of theories as to what may be up with Subaru acting so suspiciously, and as usual, I want to throw in my two cents since I haven't seen anyone else make a post I 100% agree with yet.

So far I've seen people say either Subaru is anxiety-ridden and possibly suicidal or he's the traitor and he's faking it, hiding something much darker instead.

Personally, I think it's a little of both, especially since I know of a certain spoiler that confirms my suspicions about him. I'm not going to go into my theories about that particular detail too much though.

I think Subaru is very anxiety-ridden and struggles to be polite because he knows he's violent and prone to violence. As we learned in Episode 15, he got out of showbiz due to violence against his junior, which I also have seen people say he may have been framed for, but I think he did it himself. However, I do think he is ashamed about his own nature to some degree, and that may or may not have to do with his hidden [spoiler] behaviour.

My reasons for this are:

In the first Hotarubi story, Episode 5, we see Subaru react very quickly and without mercy to the ghost child doll that attacked Haku. While he did apologize for it, the look on his face seems to tell a different story. And, imo, this is a bit of an odd reaction for someone who consistently mentions how much he loves and defends anomalies.

(Sorry, my phone was lagging and I couldn't get a screenshot without the text box, lol)

2. During the same chapter, we get our first reveal that Alan killed Dante and we see Dante's scars. I feel like most of our commercial breaks from the main plot are somehow relevant to the current episode (correct me if I'm wrong), and this feels somewhat out of left-field if you think about it.

You could attribute it to just being a secret in an episode about secrets, and I think that is part of it, but I like to think it was placed in this chapter because it's an early and very subtle comparison of Alan and Subaru's violent tendencies.

3. The expression he had when being provoked by Leo in Episode 11. He seemed to be crushed by anxiety up until a certain point where Leo crossed the line, and Subaru's expression dropped like he was about to snap. This could have been just a verbal snap, but I could also very much see Subaru resorting to violence like he did with the anomaly from Episode 5. I mean, this looks like a man about to cut a bitch, right?

4. Subaru's acting scenes in Episode 15, plus the blatant reveal of his love for all things horror. I don't think Subaru chose something from the horror genre to quote for no reason. And clearly, he is very good at acting creepy as hell. (Forgot to screenshot his Hell Flower costume image, but you know the one. Also just...that card in general.)

I don't think this is just acting, I think Subaru is tapping into that "darkness" he has as well to pull this off. Horror is something he's interested in and something he feels at home with and can do very well at emulating (conjecture).

5. Subaru's stigma and the Tree of Severance. I've seen a lot of theories that Subaru is suicidal and plans to use these scissors for some purpose, but I don't think that's the case. While I agree this may be a hint at him severing himself from his past, I also thought at the time that maybe Subaru was using his stigma to indulge in the violent pasts that each pair of scissors holds. Since his love and interest for horror was drawn out, and he was able to "act himself" in Episode 15, I think he decided to stop dipping his toe in the pool and threw himself into the indulgence of the real life horror stories that he can easily find without having to touch or inconvenience anyone. Though, tbh, we also don't know how long he may have been doing this, or if it truly was the first time he decided to approach this tree.

(I forgot to add but, Subaru's interests could also be a coping mechanism for him to satisfy his own tendencies while keeping them in control.)

And, overall, while Subaru's politeness seems sort of excessive, I don't think it's all a lie or an act. Like I said, I think he's trying to hide the darker side he knows he has and is ashamed of, because he doesn't want to come out of a fugue state and find that he's hurt someone again, even though it seems as if he struggles with a sort of emotionlessness towards other people/things in general (given the lack of light in his eyes at all times).

I think you could also tack on:

6. His association with Lyca. Subaru is trying to teach Lyca how to act like a human. What a coincidence, eh? In a way, it seems like what Subaru tries to teach Lyca may be somewhat of how Subaru himself has learned to blend in with people despite his emotional/personality disorder. This is a personal theory, but I like to think that Subaru is lying about Lyca, that Lyca did hurt someone in his past, but Subaru sees himself in that and/or empathises with Lyca's situation, and is covering it up saying that Lyca did nothing wrong. I'm not sure if Darkwick knows he's lying, but I think they may be highly suspicious of it still, which is why Lyca specifically remained in that cell beneath Ultio for so long.

[hanniebaeee]

All this time (#2)

Hyunjin x fem!reader (Chris x fem!reader)

Warnings: Lots of feels, soft soft Hyunjin

Genre: friends to lovers, campus romance, angst, fluff

Summary: Ever since you started dating Chris, you've felt something's off about his best friend, Hyunjin. What you don't see is the years worth of love and pain the poor man is hiding.

a/n: Not part 2, but a different, longer version. I'm sorry this is a mess - it's not perfect, but yeah 🤭

It was just a month into your relationship, and you and Chris fought like an old married couple. And the topic of all your fall outs? Hyunjin.

The guy something against you. And it was severely inconvenient, considering the fact that Hyunjin was Chris's best friend. This meant you had to constantly be around him a lot.

You didn’t know why he hated you so much - storming out of the room the minute you walk in. Or ignoring you completely when you're all hanging out. Even worse when he started snapping at you for the littlest things. And you really wished that Chris would just tell him to stop for once. But your boyfriend did no such thing.

Chris was a wonderful boyfriend, but this was the one place you questioned all your life decisions. Every single time you brought this up, he tried to make Hyunjin look like an angel and it made you even more furious.

“Just let it pass,” Chris said, his hand squeezing your thigh as you sat beside him on the sofa. “He’ll come around.”

“But it’s been months, Chris,” you said, completely frustrated. “It's just getting worse now!”

Chris sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

“Look, I can’t control Hyunjin, alright? I get that it’s hard, but you’re making this a bigger deal than it needs to be.”

“A bigger deal? Are you serious right now?” you hissed, getting off the sofa and glaring at your boyfriend.

“I’m serious,” he snapped, his patience wearing thin. “Just try to understand. He’s been my best friend for years, and he's struggling with things. Just leave him alone.”

You stared at him, stunned.

“So, what? I’m just supposed to put up with it? Let him treat me like that?”

“I don’t know what else to say, okay? Just drop it for now.”

“You know what, forget it.” You muttered, grabbed your stuff and left, slamming the door shut behind you.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Felix asked for the hundredth time, his eyes floating from you to Minho.

You were leaning against the wall on the other side of the room, with a can of coke in your hand while Chris stood beside you, his hand wound around your waist. You clearly didn't want to be here, since you were still mad at him. But Chris insisted that the party would be a great way to unwind.

“Look, there's no other way, ok?” Minho said, eyeing Hyunjin who had now lost count of the number of drinks he'd downed.

“May I remind you that if Chris ever knew, he'd murder all of us?” Lisa added. “I really don't think we should meddle.”

“Babe, whose side are you on?” Minho hissed.

“I get it ok? But what exactly are you trying to do here?” Lisa asked, exasperated.

“You know how he is when he's drunk. We're just setting the stage. He'll do the rest. Trust me.” Minho said.

“Fine.” Felix said, taking a big gulp of his drink and sitting beside Hyunjin.

“You know what to do,” Minho told Lisa, who sighed and nodded.

---

You watched as Lisa danced around with that glass of red wine with a frown on your face. What's with this girl tonight?

And you couldn’t say you were surprised when she “accidentally” spilled the wine on Chris's shirt, giggling as she apologized profusely. Chris groaned, setting his glass down. And you threw Lisa a suspicious look.

“I’ll go clean this up. Be right back,” he said, kissing your temple before disappearing toward the bathroom.

You were trying to wrestle the glass out of Lisa's hand, telling her she's drunk and needs to stop, when Minho appeared, his expression unusually serious. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you replied, finally taking the glass away from Lisa.

“I need a favor. Hyunjin’s completely wasted, and I can’t find Chris anywhere. Can you take him back to his dorm?” Minho asked, and the look on his face told you that he's nervous. “I'll make sure Lisa and Felix get home when Chris gets back. But Hyunjin needs to go now.”

You immediately shook your head.

“No way, Minho. He hates me. He'll just think I'm kidnapping him or something. Chris'll be right back-”

“Look, I know it’s not ideal, but we're all drunk, and he can barely stand. You’re the only one I can ask. Please.”

You sighed looking at Hyunjin who was mumbling something to Felix.

“Fine. But if he puts a toe out of line -”

He grinned as he said, “He won't. I promise.”

Together, you and Minho take Hyunjin to your car.

The drive was quiet at first, but somewhere along the way, Hyunjin started to talk, his words tumbling out in a drunken ramble.

“I know you hate me,” he said, his voice wavering.

You glanced at him and sighed.

“I don’t hate you, Hyunjin.” you said, not really sure if he'd register anything you're saying.

He shook his head. “Yes, you do. Everyone does. Because I’m awful to you. I just…it's so hard…”

You didn’t respond, your chest tightening as you focused on the road.

Hyunjin sniffled, his voice thick with tears.

“You don't understand. It's so hard for me…I love you…I’ve loved you for years.”

You gripped at the steering wheel tightly as those words tumbled out of his mouth. What did he just say?!

“I thought… I thought maybe one day, I’d get the courage to tell you. But then Chris - Chris knew. He knew how I felt, and he still…” Hyunjin’s voice cracked, and he covered his face with his hands, sobbing. “He promised me, he promised....and it killed me…I lost you, him… everything.”

You pulled over because your vision was clouded by tears now. You sat in silence, the only sounds being that of Hyunjin’s soft sniffling. Turning toward him, you reached out, your hand trembling as you placed it over his.

“Hyunjin,” you whispered. “What are you saying?”

He looked at you with tear-streaked cheeks and puffy eyes, his face flushed with his crying and probably a whole lot of alcohol.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me.” he whimpered.

You squeezed his hand, your own tears spilling over.

“I don’t hate you, Hyunjin. I never did.” you whispered sadly. “I just didn't know-”

He tried to take deep breaths, holding onto your hand like it was the only thing tethering him to the world.

---

By the time you reached his dorm, Hyunjin was quieter. You helped him inside, guiding him to his bed. He flopped down with a groan, curling up like a cat.

You pulled his blanket over his shoulders. He mumbled something incoherent before dozing off. You sat there for a few minutes, trying to gather your thoughts.

Was any of this true? Had Chris known everything and still pursued you? You couldn't believe it. The Chris you knew was perfect. He was perfect in every way.

Except for the fact that he never took your side when it came to Hyunjin.

Was that…guilt?

Anger simmered beneath your skin, because if any of it were actually true…then you really didn't know your boyfriend at all.

It was well past midnight, the campus eerily quiet under the moonlight. But your heart refused to settle. Hyunjin’s confession echoed in your mind - the pain in his eyes, the vulnerability in his voice - it haunted you.

The betrayal burned in your chest. But first, you needed him - Minho.

You stormed over to his dorm and pounded on the door until it swung open. The look on your face startled Minho, and he took a step back.

“Y/N -” he held his hands up in surrender.

You shoved him back into the room, slamming the door behind you.

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

“Uh… maybe?” Minho blinked, guilt flashing in his eyes.

“Maybe?” you seethed, your voice rising. “Do you have any idea what just happened? Hyunjin -”

Your voice cracked, and you jabbed a finger into his chest.

“What am I supposed to do now, Minho? What the hell am I supposed to do?!” you sat on the edge of his bed, tears starting to fall now.

Minho’s face softened, and felt so guilty.

“Look, I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t mean to hurt or confuse you…but I also couldn't just stand there and watch Hyunjin go down like that.” he said, sitting beside you.

“Chris is also my best friend, Y/N, which is why I didn't say anything all this time. But Hyunjin...” Minho sighed as he took your hand in his. "You don’t see it because he’s too good at hiding it. But I do. And Felix does. Hell, even Lisa does.”

“And Chris,” Minho continued, shaking his head, “He knew, okay? He knew how Hyunjin felt about you since the beginning. We all did. He promised it was just friendship. He kept saying that until one day it wasn't. Like it was nothing. Like it wouldn’t wreck Hyunjin.”

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” you whispered, wiping your tears with your free hand.

“Hyunjin didn't want you to know. He was totally lost, and he decided being an ass was easier than dealing with his feelings.”

Tears spilled over, and you buried your face into Minho’s shoulder as you cried.

“I liked him so much,” you choked out. “Chris…I really really liked him.”

Minho hesitated, then wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, his voice thick with guilt. “I shouldn’t have interfered. I just… I couldn’t stand the thought of you hating Hyunjin. Not when that guy has loved you for so long. He doesn’t deserve this. And neither do you.”

You sobbed into his shoulder, the weight of everything hitting you all at once. Minho held you tighter, rubbing soothing circles on your back as you cried.

“I’m so sorry,” he repeated. “I thought I was doing the right thing.”

You pulled back slightly, wiping your cheeks with trembling fingers. Minho brought you some tissues and you wiped your face sadly.

“I don’t know what to do, Minho,” you admitted, your voice barely a whisper.

“I’m really sorry, sweetheart.” he said again.

You nodded weakly, as a bittersweet ache settled deep in your chest.

---

You didn't sleep a blink, and Chris hadn’t called or texted since you left the party. Deep down, you knew why. He knew.

You grabbed your bag, threw on a hoodie, and headed to the campus café. It was still so early, that too a Saturday, so it was so quiet and peaceful. You ordered two cups of coffee, and went on your way towards your destination.

Hyunjin opened the door after your third knock. He stood there, looking like he’d been hit by a train. His hair was a tangled mess, and his eyes - puffy and red-rimmed.

“Y/N?” he rasped, surprised to see you.

You held out the coffee without a word, stepping past him into the room.

Hyunjin blinked, staring at the cup in his hands as if it had appeared magically.

“You… brought me coffee?”

“You look half dead,” you said, setting your own drink on his desk before sinking into his desk chair. “Thought it'd help.”

He gave a weak laugh, sounding a lot self-deprecating.

“Thanks, I guess?”

The room was silent, as you watched him take a sip. Then he set the cup down, his shoulders slumping.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

“For what?” you asked.

“For last night,” he admitted, his gaze fixed on the floor. “For unloading all that on you. For making things weird. I shouldn’t have…I suck when I'm drunk, which is why I never go out to drink-”

He trailed off, running a hand through his hair.

“I shouldn’t have said anything,” he continued.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything earlier?” you asked softly.

Hyunjin hesitated, his fingers curling around the edge of his desk.

“Because there was nothing left to say,” he said, looking away. “You’re with Chris now. You're happy and that's all that matters. And I…”

He swallowed hard before saying, “I don’t want you to talk to him about this. Please. Just… leave it alone.”

Your jaw tightened as you sat up, his words igniting a spark of frustration deep in your chest.

“Hyunjin,” you said, your tone sharper than you intended, “Enough.”

He flinched but said nothing. You stood, grabbing your coffee, and said, “I’ll see you later.”

---

You were back at your dorm room, ignoring all the apologies from Felix and Lisa - your best friends - when someone knocked on your door. You weren't in the mood to entertain anyone, but you opened the door to find Chris - his usual warmth replaced by an edge you didn’t recognize.

“Can I come in?” he asked, his voice clipped.

You stepped aside without a word, and he sighed as he stepped in.

Chris turned to face you, running a hand through his hair.

“Are you… avoiding me?” he asked.

“Maybe.”

“Is this about Hyunjin? Minho told me you took him home last night. Did he say something to you?”

“Did he say something? Oh, Chris, he said a lot.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Chris asked, his eyes narrowed.

“It means I know.” Your voice was steady, but your hands were trembling. “I know this whole time, you were supporting his actions out of guilt.”

Chris scoffed, throwing his hands up.

“So what? It’s not like he owned you, Y/N. It was a stupid crush. That’s all.”

You straightened, your eyes narrowing.

“Don’t,” you said sharply. “Don’t fucking do that, Christopher.”

“Y/N -”

“No,” you interrupted, your voice rising. “The Chris I knew was kind. He had a pure heart. But this? This isn’t you. This is someone putting down their best friend to justify -”

“I liked you too, ok. What about that? What about my feelings?” Chris bit back, taking a step closer to you, and you could feel his breath against your face.

“Of course you did. But you don’t think that maybe, just maybe, it was wrong to act on them knowing how he felt? For years, Chris! Do you even care what this did to him?”

Chris’s hands clenched into fists.

"I didn't mean for it to happen ok? It just did. I fell in love with you! What was I supposed to do?! I tried to stop feeling things for you, but I couldn't ok? Oh my God are you seriously doing this right now? This is us, Y/N! When did you even start caring about what he thought? You couldn't stop complaining about him like 2 days ago!"

"Chris, do you even hear yourself? You think this is normal?"

“You have no reason for being such a -” He froze, his eyes widening as he stopped himself.

“Say it,” you dared, your voice shaking with hurt. “Go ahead, Chris. Say it.”

“I didn’t mean that,” he murmured, shaking his head, his voice barely audible.

You took a step back, shaking your head.

“This is over,” you said firmly. “You need to leave.”

“Baby, what are you saying?!” Chris said, taking a step towards you. “I’m really sorry, ok? I was selfish, but only because I didn't want to lose-”

“No,” you interrupted. “I’ll accept your apology, but only because I know you're better than this. You're not… this.” Your voice cracked, but you held it together.

Chris’s eyes glistened, and for a moment, he looked like he might fall apart. But then he nodded slowly, swallowing hard because he knew this was beyond repair.

“I’m sorry...Y/N, I love you...I know I was wrong but-,” he whispered. “Sorry...for everything.”

"I'm sorry, Chris." You stepped aside, holding the door open.

“Apologize to Hyunjin,” you said, your tone soft but firm. “Make things right if you ever can.”

Chris hesitated, his gaze lingering on you. Then he nodded again and stepped through the door. As it clicked shut behind him, the tears you’d been holding back finally fell.

Lisa wrapped you in a hug the minute she stepped into your dorm, her arms warm and comforting.

“God, baby stop crying,” she murmured, pulling back to examine your face.

Felix sat on the edge of your bed, his gaze fixed on you.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked softly.

“Nope.” you said, letting Felix pull you into a hug.

“Too bad,” Lisa said, crossing her arms. “Because we’re going to.”

“Why?” you asked, completely tired and drained.

“So that you know that none of this was your fault. And your decision is totally ok.” Felix said, rocking you in his arms gently. “Hyunjin has had feelings for you since we started uni, babe. We're almost done here. He was just worried if your science brain would like an artsy guy like him.”

“Chris was just lucky he shared classes with you.” Lisa said. “But again, Hyunjin was his, best friend. They're literally brothers.”

You sank onto the bed beside Felix, and he ran his fingers through your hair soothingly.

“I feel terrible,” you whispered, staring at the floor. "Chris is a good person..."

“We know it sucks. And we’re here to help you through it, okay? Whatever you need.” Lisa said, with a soft smile.

You nodded weakly, wanting to feel nothing more than Chris's warm and reassuring arms around you. You missed him.

“Chris will be ok, Y/N.” Felix said softly. “And you'll be ok. Everything's gonna be just fine.”

---

Weeks turned into months, and you avoided Chris and Hyunjin like the plague. (You couldn't avoid Minho because he simply didn't allow it.)

And every time you were anywhere in their vicinity, you could feel their eyes on you. Chris’s gaze was heavy with regret and sadness. Hyunjin’s was softer, but it lingered.

When the Christmas holidays approached, you learned that your parents had decided to go on an anniversary trip, so yeah, you weren't going home. Felix and Lisa both offered to stay with you, but you made them leave because somehow, you felt like you could use this time for some self reflection.

Just after Felix and Lisa left, there was another knock on your door. When you opened it, there stood Chris, looking far too vulnerable for someone who had always seemed so composed.

“Hey,” he said softly.

You leaned against the doorframe, unsure what to say. “Hey.”

“I’m heading home for the holidays,” he continued, his hands stuffed into his pockets. “But… I didn’t want to leave without seeing you.”

You nodded, your throat tight. Chris sighed, his breath fogging in the cold air.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. For everything. I didn't mean for it all to end up like this. I swear I didn't mean to hurt him, or you...I was wrong, but I -" He fell silent, like he was struggling to breathe. "Please don't hate me."

"Chris, I don't think I'll ever be able to do that. I admire you. And...it's all in the past. Let's just move on? I don't want you to hurt anymore, please." You said, giving his hand a sad squeeze.

He nodded, looking relieved, but hurt.

"I hope that when I come back, we can still be friends.”

"We can work on that.” you managed to say, giving him a tiny little smile.

He stepped closer, his arms opening hesitantly.

“Can I hug you? One last time?” he asked, and you nodded, letting his arms wrapped around you, warm and strong. For a moment, it was easy to remember the Chris you looked up to, the one who made you laugh and feel so safe.

When he pulled back, his eyes were glassy. “Take care, Y/N.”

“You too, Chris.”

And then he was gone.

Two weeks. That's what you had in your hands. Two weeks of peace and quiet. You spent your mornings reading at the campus café, enjoying the rare moments of solitude. You did some journaling that Lisa wanted you to try. Sometimes you just enjoyed the silence.

On your fourth morning, you stepped into the cafe, brushing off the snow from your coat, and froze.

Sitting at a table by the window was Hyunjin.

He was hunched over a sketchbook, his long fingers gripping a pencil as he worked, the sunlight casting a soft glow over him. His hair fell into his face, but he was completely engrossed in his work.

You debated leaving. But you were obviously too slow because he looked up, and his eyes locked with yours.

For a moment, neither of you moved. Then Hyunjin gave a small smile. Your heart fluttered despite yourself. You smiled too and walked to the counter to order your coffee, while fidgeting with your bracelet.

When your drink was ready, you found yourself walking toward his table.

“Hi,” you said softly, standing beside him.

“Hi,” he replied, his voice just as quiet. He gestured to the seat across from him. “Do you want to sit?”

You hesitated, then nodded, sliding into the chair.

“I didn’t know you were staying here for the holidays,” he said, sipping his coffee.

“My parents are on a trip,” you explained. “What about you?”

He shrugged and said, “Home didn’t feel right this year.”

Your heart clenched at his words and the vulnerability in his tone. “Hyunjin…”

He shook his head quickly, his hand brushing over the cover of his sketchbook.

“Hey, I'm totally fine.” he said, giving you another one of those devastating smiles.

---

What started as a chance encounter in the café soon became a habit. Each morning, you’d find Hyunjin sitting by the window, his sketchbook open, pencil in hand. You’d quietly slip into the seat across from him, coffee in one hand and a book in the other.

The silence between you was so warm and comfortable. You loved watching him draw. He looked so soft and so fragile…you just wanted to give him a hug for all the heartbreak he'd endured because of you.

After spending most of your days like this, you both decided to venture into town to visit a Christmas market. The streets were lined with twinkling lights, and the scent of mulled wine filled the air.

While wandering through a small shop, you spotted a tiny, artificial Christmas tree with delicate branches.

While Hyunjin was in line to get some hot chocolate, you quickly excused yourself and went back to look at the little tree you saw earlier. You'd been meaning to ask him something for a couple of days now. But you were afraid if you're wrong to assume he'd want anything like that.

But before you could second guess yourself, you text him.

You: Hyunjin, do you want to spend Christmas with me?

You cringed at yourself, because seriously? You two were the only ones here for heaven's sake.

Hyunjin: Aren't we doing that?

You: No, not like that.

You: With me. Like get a tree and stuff. You know. Please just say no, if you don't want to. Ok?

You were panicking now. Why did this feel like a good idea at all?

Hyunjin: Where did you run off to?

Hyunjin: We were together this whole time and you text me about this?

You: Hyunjin, just say yes or no.

Hyunjin: Don't I get a say about what tree we're getting?

You nearly cried in relief. No you really did - there were tears in your eyes.

You: No.

Hyunjin: Can I choose the ornaments at least?

You: Ok. You can.

Hyunjin: Where are you, Y/N?

You: Getting our tree? Please just stay there.

You really didn't want him to see you crying. You didn't even know why you were crying.

Hyunjin: Don't you want your hot chocolate?

You: Hyunjin, you're gonna lose your rights on those ornaments now.

You gave yourself a lecture about pulling yourself together, wiped off your tears, hoping that he won't notice your eyes, bought that damn little tree and walked over to where Hyunjin was waiting for you.

You held up the tree, but he saw right through you. You saw his expression shift the moment he saw your face.

“Isn't it cute?” Why was your voice wobbly?!

Hyunjin swallowed looking at the tree, then to you with a smile. One that melted your insides that you wanted to cry again.

“I love it,” He said, and you cleared your throat quickly, taking your cup from him.

You took a sip, the warm drink soothing your throat. You both walked to another little shop and bought some tiny baubles, cute ornaments, and strings of tinsel and fairy lights.

Back at your dorm, you set it up together. From hanging the ornaments, to putting the fairy lights around the tree, Hyunjin’s artistic touch made everything better. And he was laughing. And joking.

You've never seen him do any of that before. And his laugh - the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

When you finally finished, you both stepped back to admire your work.

“It’s kind of sad,” you said, giggling, looking at the tiny tree on the floor.

Hyunjin shook his head and said, “It’s perfect.”

---

You both put together a makeshift Christmas feast as well. With whatever limited resources you had in your dorm that is. Which wasn’t much - some chicken nuggets, instant noodles dressed up with toppings, cookies and some cake you got from the market, and hot chocolate.

But it didn’t matter. Sitting on the floor beside the tree, the soft glow of its lights reflecting in Hyunjin’s eyes and sharing it all with him? It felt like the most special holiday you’d ever had.

After dinner, it was time for gifts, of course. You handed him a neatly wrapped package, your hands trembling slightly. You were so nervous.

When he opened it, his eyes widened as they met yours. It was a beautiful faux leather-bound sketchbook, custom-made with his name engraved on the cover. You'd placed an order for it from an online store the day you saw Hyunjin first in the cafe, sketching. You didn't know any of this would happen, yet you had ordered it on a whim.

“Y/N…” he murmured, running his fingers over the smooth surface.

“I wanted you to have something special,” you said, your cheeks warm. “For all your art.”

He looked up at you, his expression filled with so much emotion it took your breath away.

“Thank you.” he said, and he handed you his gift, a small package wrapped in simple brown paper.

When you peeled back the paper, it was your turn to be shocked. It was a painting - a small canvas - in the center was you. Your face was serene, surrounded by a kaleidoscope of hues.

“Hyunjin…” you whispered, gazing up at him (damn those tears). “This is… it’s beautiful. I don’t even know what to say.”

He smiled, holding the sketch book close to his chest.

“You're beautiful, Y/N.” He said, his eyes falling, shyly.

You smiled, and felt so thankful for the chance to finally see him. The real him.

---

“Thank you for today,” you said softly, standing near the door as Hyunjin got ready to leave.

Hyunjin paused, but quickly smiled and said, “I should be the one thanking you. For letting me spend it with you.”

Before you could overthink it, you stepped closer, your arms tentatively wrapping around his waist. He stiffened just for a second but then his arms came around you, strong and steady, pulling you close. His chin rested lightly against the top of your head, and you melted into him.

It was perfect - warm, safe, and so achingly right.

When you finally stepped back, his eyes searched yours, soft and lingering.

“Goodnight,” he said, his voice a little husky.

“Goodnight, Hyunjin,” you replied.

---

Minho: So, Christmas with Hyunjin, huh 👀

You nearly choked on your coffee.

You: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Minho: Oh, sure. Just that Hyunjin might have spent half the night telling me about your little tree and your “Christmas feast.” I thought he was drunk again. But nope, just smitten.

You: Minho.

Minho: Don’t “Minho” me. I saw photographic evidence of your little party. You’re both glowing. I haven’t seen either of you like this in a long time.

You hesitated, your fingers hovering over the keyboard.

You: I’m scared to death, Minho.

Minho: Of Hyunjin?

You: No. Of this. Of hurting Chris. I can't ever do that to him.

Minho: Y/N, stop.

You: I’m serious. This whole thing feels like a bomb in my hand.

Minho: I get it. Really, I do. But listen. This thing with Hyunjin… it’s not a betrayal. It’s life. People fall in and out of relationships. Chris will be fine, and if he isn’t yet, he will be eventually.

Minho: For now, enjoy the holidays. Take things one step at a time. Whatever this is, it’ll fall into place.

You stared at his messages, your heart still uneasy.

You: I'm still scared.

Minho: That’s because you overthink everything.

You: Maybe.

Minho: Exactly. Let yourself be happy for once. And let me take care of Chris.

---

You stared at the photo on your phone: you and Hyunjin sitting on either side of your tiny (possibly over decorated) Christmas tree, holding up your gifts and grinning like complete idiots. It was simple and perfect.

And also a potentially catastrophic decision.

You took a deep breath, bracing yourself for the storm you were about to unleash, and dropped the photo into your group chat with Felix and Lisa.

You: Merry Christmas from us and our tiny tree 🎄✨

The response was immediate.

Felix: HOLY. SHIT.

Lisa: WHAT?!

Felix: ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW.

Lisa: I AM SCREAMING.

Felix: I KNEW IT.

You: STOP YELLING!

Lisa: DID YOU KISS? BE HONEST.

Your face turned crimson as the messages flooded in.

You: Chill, okay? It’s just a picture.

Lisa: No. It’s EVERYTHING.

Felix: PICTURE = CONFIRMATION.

Lisa: But seriously. Tell us everything. Like, start to finish. Do not leave out a single detail.

You groaned, burying your face in your hands. This was exactly the kind of circus you knew would break out.

You: There’s literally nothing to tell. We had Christmas dinner. Decorated the tree. That’s it.

Felix: Lies.

Lisa: Lies.

Felix: You look so happy babe

Lisa: And Hyunjin looks like he just had the best day of his life!

You stared at their messages, blushing furiously. Because deep down, you know they weren’t wrong.

Lisa: You deserve to be happy. And clearly, Hyunjin makes you happy.

Felix: And let’s not forget - Hyunjin’s been pining for you since the dawn of time. You’re literally making his dream come true right now.

Lisa: Enjoy it, the guy’s literally gone for you!

You couldn’t help but smile, even as your heart still wrestled with the guilt. They weren’t wrong - Hyunjin made you happy in a way you hadn’t felt in a long time.

You: I love you both 😘

Felix: Love you more 😘

Lisa: Love you, now go spend more time with your Picasso and send us updates.

You laughed softly, setting your phone down and looking back at the little tree.

Maybe, just maybe, your friends were right.

---

The roof of your dorm was silent, almost eerily so. A cool breeze kissed your cheeks as you sat cross-legged on a blanket with Hyunjin - sipping on some cheap wine and star gazing (it's pretty cloudy actually).

“This is totally against the rules,” you murmured, glancing nervously toward the roof access door.

Hyunjin laughed softly beside you, and said, “Relax. I’ve done this so many times.”

You gave him a skeptical look, trying not to smile as you said, “Oh, you’re a seasoned criminal now?”

“Something like that,” he teased, his fingers brushing against yours where they rested between you.

You fell into comfortable silence after that. He was sitting so close, bundled up in lots of warm things, yet his presence itself was so warm.

“You ever think about how time flies? Like... a year ago, I never thought I’d be here. With you.” he said softly, almost hesitantly.

You turned to look at him, your heart doing a little flip at the way his soft brown eyes gazed at you.

“I never thought I’d be here either,” you admitted.

“I’m so glad we are.” He smiled, his expression so tender it made your chest ache.

As the final seconds of the year ticked down, you could hear faint cheering from the buildings below. Hyunjin reached over, lacing his fingers through yours. The simple gesture grounded you, because your heart was ready to burst out of your chest and make a run for it.

When the first firework burst in the sky, painting your faces in shades of gold and crimson, you turned to face him. He was already looking at you.

“Happy New Year, Hyunjin,” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the crackling fireworks.

Hyunjin gave you a soft smile as he said, “Happy New Year, Y/N.”

And then, like it was the most natural thing in the world, you leaned into each other.

The kiss was gentle at first, his lips brushing yours so softly, like he wasn't really sure you wanted this. But you? You were done waiting. You pressed closer - deepening the kiss, slow and sweet and breathtaking. The fireworks faded into the background as all of your focus narrowed to the feel of Hyunjin’s mouth on yours.

When you finally pulled apart, your faces were still so close, your breaths mingling in the cold night air.

“I'd break a hundred more rules for that,” Hyunjin said softly, cupping your cheek with his free hand.

You laughed, your hands still entwined, your face still impossibly close to his.

“Yeah?”

He chuckled, his gaze dropping to your lips before meeting your eyes again. “Yeah.”

You squeezed his hand, your chest blooming with warmth. “I think I would too.”

---

You woke up the next morning to your phone buzzing continuously. Groggily reaching for it, you blinked at the screen.

A new group chat?

The title? Mr&Mrs Hwang💘”

You frowned, squinting at the participants: Minho, Lisa, Felix, Hyunjin, and... you.

Oh no. These clowns!

Lisa: Good morning lovebirds! 🐦💖

Lisa: Happy New Year!!

Felix: Happy New Year!!!

Minho: So, Hyunjin, how’s the married life? Do you two hold hands all the time?

Lisa: Do you sip from the same coffee cup? Tell me about the kisses?

Felix: If not, FIX IT.

Minho: Can’t wait to give a “Best Man” speech at your wedding.

Your mouth dropped open as you scrolled, the messages getting progressively more ridiculous.

Lisa: Did your tiny tree survive last night 🫣

Minho: I bet it didn't.

Felix: Hyunjin, if you don’t propose next Christmas, we're disowning you.

You groaned, your face heating up as you typed furiously.

You: What the hell is wrong with you all?!

You: STOP. RIGHT. NOW.

Lisa: Oh look, the princess is awake.

Minho: Morning, Mrs. Hwang.

Felix: You were supposed to give us updates you know.

Hyunjin: Good morning! Happy New Year!

Your heart raced as you saw his name pop up.

Minho: Oh good, now we may get some details.

You: I hate all of you.

Minho: Hate 🤔

Lisa: Oh please.

Felix: Are you blushing now baby?

Hyunjin: She totally is.

You: Hyunjin! Don't encourage them!

Felix: Don’t stop, Hyunjin.

You: I’m leaving this chat.

Lisa: NO. YOU STAY.

The first day back at university after the holidays felt like a weight pressing down on your chest. Not just because this was your final semester here on campus. But because you knew that everything was about to change.

Seeing your nervous state, Hyunjin squeezed your hand firmly, and said, “I know this is hard. We don't have to spend time together when we're there. We can figure out how to handle this-”

His words were kind, but there was something in his eyes - the brief flash of hurt he tried to hide behind his smile - like he always tried to put his feelings away for the sake of others.

You couldn’t do that to him. Not again. You pulled him closer, and he gazed at you, soft and uncertain.

“No,” you said firmly. “I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you. I’m proud to be with you, Hyunjin. You make me so damn happy, and I’m not going to hide that.”

For a moment, his expression softened, vulnerability creeping in. And then, he kissed you. It was so soft and so… Hyunjin.

When you pulled away, Hyunjin didn't say anything for a moment, just smiled. But the smile reached his eyes this time, and it made everything feel right again.

“I’m proud to be with you too,” he murmured.

You found yourself walking toward the familiar spot where you and your friends always met. You flew into Felix and Lisa's arms, pulling them into a group hug.

And then there was Minho, giving you a teasing look before hugging you. You all were lost in chatter, when you sensed it. You turned to look and there he was - Chris.

He stood a few feet away, but when his eyes met yours, there was a flicker. A hesitation. He faltered for a moment as his gaze moved between you and Hyunjin. Hyunjin had his arm around you.

The whole group fell silent.

Your heart skipped in your chest, a lump forming in your throat as you stood there, trying to keep your cool.

Chris approached you all slowly, his smile hesitant but polite.

“Hey. Happy New Year,” he said softly, his gaze briefly flicking toward Hyunjin before settling on you.

Lisa, as always, was the first to break the silence.

“Happy New Year, Chris!” she said brightly, flashing him a smile.

Felix, Minho, and Hyunjin quickly followed suit, each offering a warm greeting.

“Happy New Year, Chris. It’s good to see you again.” you said softly, hesitantly.

Chris’s smile, while still cautious, softened.

“You too, Y/N.” His eyes flickered briefly to Hyunjin, who stood there looking calm but with a subtle tension in his jaw. “And you, Hyunjin.”

The moment stretched for a beat longer than necessary, but then, slowly, the group began to ease again.

You couldn’t read Chris completely, but you could tell he was still processing. He wasn’t angry, not in the way you feared. But the hurt was obviously there.

You glanced at Hyunjin, offering him a small, reassuring smile. His fingers brushed your gently. He knew. He understood.

The rest of the day went on like it always did. It wasn’t perfect, but not as bad as you’d imagined. As you and Hyunjin walked back to your dorm, he held you close, and you let out a soft sigh.

For the first time in a while, you felt hopeful. And with Hyunjin by your side, you knew everything would be okay.

Tags: @velvetmoonlght @moonchild9350

[uzurakis]

PLS I BEG U, can u do a falling into arguments but this time with nanami?

FALLING INTO ARGUMENTS!?

featuring: nanami kento. yuuta okkotsu. fushiguro toji.

n. yes nonnie, no worries! thank you for requesting ^__^ PART 1 HERE

NANAMI KENTO

the exhaustion from nanami's long day at work seemed to radiate off him, his shoulders slumped and his expression weary.

"you just don't understand," he sighed, his voice heavy with frustration. "i can't keep up with everything all the time."

your heart sank at his words, the sting of hurt creeping into your chest. "i'm trying, nanami..” you said softly with voice trembling slightly. "but i don’t like it when you throw your frustrations on me." nanami's gaze twiched with regret, but his exhaustion seemed to overshadow it. "i know, and i'm sorry," he muttered, his tone lacking conviction. "i didn't mean to take it out on you."

tears welled up in your eyes, the weight of his words hitting you like a punch to the gut. "i just wish we could talk it you instead of you bottling it up," you muttered.

nanami reached out to touch your hand, but his touch felt cold and distant. "i'll try," he said, his voice hollow. "but i can't promise anything. i’m sorry. but i’ll try.”

YUUTA OKKOTSU

tension buzzed in the air as you and yuuta faced one other in the room. the argument had swiftly escalated due to unacknowledged inconveniences and miscommunications.

"i can't keep doing this, yuuta," you said, your voice tinged with frustration, "you always seem to go ahead with whatever you want, regardless of how i feel about it."

yuuta's expression remained impassive, his eyes avoiding yours as he fidgeted with his hands. "i just thought it would be easier this way," he grumbled.

however, easy wasn't what you needed. you needed to be heard, that your thoughts were important. "it's not about making things easier," you said, your tone harder now. "it's about respecting what i feel and not doing things your own way because you feel that’s more acceptable."

he sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "i know, and i'm sorry," yuuta said, tinged with regret, "i just... i get caught up in the moment and i don't think."

for a minute, quiet fell between you, the weight of unspoken words filling the space. and as you sat there, it dawned on you that perhaps this cycle of disagreements and apologies was a pattern neither of you could escape.

FUSHIGURO TOJI

"toji, i really need to talk to you about something," you said hesitanly, your heart heavy with the weight of your concerns.

toji glanced at you briefly, a distracted smile flashing across his face. "hm?" he replied, his tone casual, as if he were barely listening.

you swallowed hard, pushing past the knot of frustration building in your throat. "i've been feeling really overwhelmed lately," you confessed, "and i would appreciate if you’re here for me."

toji's response was a nonchalant shrug, his attention already drifting away from you. "ah, it's probably not that big of a deal," he said, dismissing your words, "you'll get over it."

but it was a big deal to you, and toji's lack of concern only served to deepen the sense of isolation you felt. "it's not that simple, fushiguro toji," you said, more frustrated, "i need you to take this seriously."

his expression hardened slightly at your words, his indifference giving way to annoyance. "look, i'm sorry if you're upset," he said, tone defensive, "but i can't drop everything to deal with your problems right now."

the words stung, a painful reminder of how alone you felt in your struggles. "i'm not asking you to drop everything," you replied, "i'm just asking for your support."

but toji's attention had already shifted, and he continued gazing at the room around you. and while you sat there, the weight of your troubles greater than ever, you couldn't help but feel as if you were dealing with them alone.

@uzurakis — rqs are open ^^

[t-a-a-1]

More Than Meets The Eye

TFA Optimus! X F!Reader

6k

Summary: Being a rising journalist is difficult. Especially when you have to live a secret criminal life. Things get worst when you start to fall in love with your enemy, Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots and hero of Detroit City.

You believe the feelings can't be mutual. Yet, he slowly starts to notice that you are more than meets the eye.

A/N: Lots of yearning. Jealously. Enemies to lovers?? You are a journalist who is also a criminal. Idk. Takes place between Season 1 and 2 of TFA.

Chapter 1: Ride or Die

....

Detroit City could be ugly, nasty, unhygienic, gentrified and many other things.

But never boring.

Especially with robotic aliens patrolling the streets.

    Bots that you didn't trust fully nor liked very much.

Even more, that Optimus Prime that everyone seemed to like so much.

With his red and blue colors, his helm that looks like he is always wearing a cap and straight posture that was too authoritative for your liking.

    While everyone was excited, taking pictures of the Autobots, you were there to ask the real questions. Your job as a reporter was to tell the truth and that's what you plan to do by exposing the leader of the Autobots.

"Mr. Prime, I have a question for you."

    You raised your hand, not really sure if that matters but you wanted to keep being respectful.

"Oh, yes, how can I help you, ma'am?"

    Optimus sees you walk through the crowd of people and paparazzi. Press conferences weren't unknown to him. The citizens, the reporters, the speechless mayor and his assistant that probably did everything for him.

"I've done some research and Detroit's oil supply has plummeted since your arrival to Earth. This has created a tax increase for all of Detroit's citizens. How do you respond to this?"

"Well, we do need to eat to keep helping the city," Optimus bends down to be able to speak on the mic. "But we apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused."

"If you were sorry you and your team would have already found all  the fragments of the AllSpark and departed Earth."

"How do you know about–?"

    You didn't let him finish his question as you striked with another statement.

"But no, you and the Autobots are too focused on wasting Earth's resources and playing heroes to even think of recovering your world's most powerful energy source."

"What? No, we–"

    He keeps getting interrupted by you. Although he tries to keep his cool, he wasn't in the best of moods either. Each statement you were making was ticking off his clock.

"Without mentioning that you have been spotted entering nearby natural reservation islands without the proper permissions or documentation."

"Well, yes but I thought it was fine–"

"Why would it be fine?" You look up at him. Even when you weren't very fond of the alien robots, you had to admit that they were a spectacle to look at. But you quickly shook the thought away.  "Just because you are big and dangerous you think you are entitled to cross human law?"

"Look missy, I don't know what's your problem but–"

"My problem is that you are not answering my questions."

    There's a bit of laughter coming from behind Optimus. If he had been smart enough, he could've said something along the lines of 'you aren't asking any questions, you are just saying statements.' Instead, he lashes out on you, giving you the exact reaction you wanted.

"If only you gave me time, I would respond to them!" Seeing his mistake, Optimus stands away from the pod, clearly frustrated at the situation.  "You know what, we don't have the time for this."

    Smiling Autobots was the first thing he saw as soon as he turned to look at them. He ex-vents, not wanting to deal with it.

"Autobots, transform and roll out."

.

.

.

��   The abandoned building had become their home. It was big enough to have rooms for everyone. Each catering for every bot's needs. But not even the vastness of the building could sparse the leader's rising annoyance. Walking from side to side of the hangar, looking down and with a servo on his chin, he questioned the previous interaction.

    He doesn't remember seeing you before. Either that or your existence wasn't important enough for his processor to remember.

"How did that lady know about the AllSpark?" Optimus keeps walking as Bumblebee and Sari play video games on the sofa. "We haven't told anyone about the fragments."

    Hearing something being dropped, Optimus quickly turns to look at the little girl who has taken long-term residence at their base.

"Sari?" Optimus questions, getting closer to her. "Is there anything you want to say?"

"Sorry, I thought yall were going to release that information to the public soon," she plays with her thumbs, moving them in a circle in between her hands. "So, I thought, why not sell the information to a reporter? Save you guys the time!"

"Why would you do that?"

    Bumblebee questions her, he didn't know about her actions either.

"Because I need the money! If I don't have money, I can't afford food. If I don't eat, I'll die!" Sari feels threatened, especially when she sees the rest of the bots gathering around her. "And all my credit cards have been frozen ever since my dad disappeared."

    It was as if everyone had a spoken agreement. Her explanation was a very good one. Feeling shy and maybe like a burden to them, she did what any little girl would. As best as she could with the current circumstances. No one was angry at her, just worried for what this could bring to the team.

"What else have you told her?"

    Prowl asks this time, sounding as calm as ever.

"Nothing, I promise!" Sari exclaimed. "Actually, ever since I told her about my situation, she never fails to send me some money in the mail."

"Probably to gain your trust so you could later tell her more information about us," Ratchet always assumed the worst of people. A trait that no one could blame. Being a war-veteran, distrusting others was the best for survival.

"I don't think so, she just sends money. No notes, no letters, nothing."

"Whatever the situation is, we can't have her spreading misinformation about us," Bulkhead is the last to speak his mind.

"She wasn't lying, bulkhead," Optimus remembers your statements. Each of them had truth in them. "She was right. We did everything she said we did."

    As much as he wanted to reprimand the little girl, he couldn't do it. Instead he takes a few seconds to think.

"But we can't have her writing negative articles about us," he says as he takes a moment to look at his very little friend. "Especially if we plan to ask for some monetary compensation for Sari."

    He really didn't want to ask for any kind of payment from the humans. Everything he did, he did in the name of goodness and to further improve Cybertronian-Human diplomatic relationships. But Sari was part of the team and his duty as leader was to take care of everyone. And she was a helpless little girl. He needs to take care of her properly and for that he needs human currency. Not much, just whatever is needed for a human to survive. Food, maybe clothes? Water. Oxygen? Medication ... Education? Did she need that? He is not sure but maybe Sari could make him a list later.

For now, there is a reporter he needs to find.

.

.

.

    You weren't new to doing undercover work. You enjoyed it, pretending to be someone else, getting the information you needed, then going home as if you had lived another life.

    Tonight, it was one of those nights. Where you wore heels, a skirt and a revealing top. Loose hair and lip gloss and a wing to cover your real hair color.

    During the day you were a reporter. Tonight you were a car enthusiast.

"So, would you take me?"

"A beautiful car needs a beautiful woman,"

    You had been talking with a man for fifteen minutes. It's stupid how easy it was to get a man. Just listening to them talk for ten minutes straight without talking usually does the trick.

"And you know, racing is not the only thing I am good at."

    Smiling, not because of his suggestive comment but because you were about to get what you wanted, you were about to make your way inside the car.

    Until bright lights pointing at you ruined the moment.

"What does that freak want?"

    There is a loud sound of engine coming from the large truck. Although the light was bright, you could see a few shades of blue and red.

"This is the police, stand down."

"Shit."

    The man who you were talking to didn't hesitate to turn on his car and speed up. Letting off a train of fumes and leaving you behind.

    Great, now you had to explain that you weren't a hooker but an undercover reporter to the officer.

    Except that this wasn't a cop. It wasn't even a person. But a driverless car. A bot you tragically knew too well.

"So you have come for your revenge after today's press conference?" you ask sarcastically as you begin to walk away. You raised your hand and waved from side to side."Well, you got it. Now leave me alone."

    You can hear the little 'click and clack' of your heels as they impact against the concrete ground. But close by you can still hear the roaring engines. Headlights were still pretty bright and you wondered if he understood human cues. Because this just looks like some guy harassing a woman.

"Not even a 'thank you' for saving you from that guy?" Optimus follows as he drives next to you. "I thought you would be more educated."

"Well, I didn't ask you to save me," you wanted to take bigger steps but you've been walking for so long with your heels that you can't do it anymore. "Is butting into other people's business an Autobot costume?"

"Look I am not going to fall into your tactics," he says. "I just came to say that I think we started off with the wrong pede."

"Oh? Really? Why do you think that?"

"Well, for starters, I think you have the wrong ideas about us," Optimus takes a closer look at you. Wearing a different style than what you wore this morning. "Yes you are right, sometimes we don't do the right thing. But we are new here and we don't know any better."

"So you should be excused for all actions just because of your ignorance?" you feel like you are being observed. Not in a desirable manner but rather a curious one. Optimus didn't have 'eyes' but optics. His vision is probably more enhanced, being a bot and all.  "Is that what you are saying?"

"No, I am saying that maybe you could try and understand us and be more ... lenient whenever you write about us."

"And why would I do that?" you began to feel self conscious. Miniskirts weren't your thing, you liked them but Optimus heavy optics on you wasn't the most comfortable. Maybe it was all your imagination. Besides, you doubted that Optimus could feel attraction towards a human. "Are you going to hurt me if I don't?"

"What? No!"

    You stop walking and suddenly turn to look at him.

"Then I won't change anything."

    He doesn't want to think about it too much but he feels his something inside him short-circuit. Now, he realized he had been staring at you for too long. Particularly interested in your skin. As far as he knows metal and skin don't react the same way to cold. Your material being more sensitive to climate change. He was studying you and all he concluded is that you were cold.

"Why do you care so much about what we do and don't? How does it even affect you?" his engines roar louder.  "We help the humans with crime, cleaning the streets, repairing buildings and other humiliating things without any type of compensation but I don't see you writing about that stuff!"

"Do you know what happens when you and your crew destroy a building?"

"The city repairs it."

"Yes, they do," you walk towards him, aggressively placing your hands on his door. His truck form was too large for you to reach his window. It's not like you were planning to punch him but rather make your point. "But who's money do they use to repair those damages?"

    He stays quiet and you proceed.

"The people's money," using your index finger, you keep poking at him each time you make a statement. "Ever since you and your Autobots got here, things have become way more expensive. Food, gas, bills. There are families who will be homeless because they can't afford to pay rent. All because the city is raising taxes to pay for all the damages you cause."

    His headlights blink every time you keep touching him, with every word that escapes your lips.

"It's already hard enough being a journalist in Detroit and now I have to focus on surviving too. I need to contribute good stories to the newsroom or I won't even have money to buy cigarettes."

    Then, you point off into the distance, the road is clear but dark. Only the city lights illuminated the path but everything had an eerie feel to it .

"And that guy you just scared off? He was my ticket to have a warm meal tonight and you ruined it for me."

    You take your hands off him. His headlights stop blinking.

"So, I am sorry. I am sorry I won't write about how the Autobots are Detroit's heroes and how good they are because they pick up some cans."

    You walk away. Now thinking of whether to spend your last $20 bucks on food or a taxi to take you home.

    At least you can't hear the roaring engine anymore.

As he sees you struggle to keep walking, Optimus notices your shivering. How you tried to cover your backside with your bag and how ever so often your stomach would quietly growl. Although he wasn't an expert on human biology, he knew that meant you were hungry.

    He remembers your words and then Sari's. Although you were struggling to survive, you still somehow managed to help out Sari. A job he is supposed to be doing but failing miserably.

"I– " he drives up to you again. For a second, he doesn't have anything to say. Apologizing won't help you in any way. "Is there any way I can help?"

"Well, unless you can transform into a racing car and take me to do some illegal car racing, I don't think so."

    Behind you, you hear metal shifting. Driving next to you is blue and red ... Corvette? Camaro? Ferrari? You didn't know a single thing about cars but the only thing you knew is that it was a nice looking car. Dynamic, elegant and shiny. Hot and sexy. And a beautiful car needs a beautiful girl.

"Anything else?"

.

.

.

    It was 3 a.m.

A dark and isolated road on the outskirts of Detroit will be witness to your first car racing. You didn't know a single thing about cars and much less racing. But thankfully for you, your racer is a car. He should know better ... right?

    As a reporter you are supposed to blend in with the crow but with Optimus, you knew that was impossible. All eyes were on you as soon as you drove by the starting line. Wondering who had just joined the car racing scene.

"Everyone is here ... Can't we just arrest them?"

"No, I am not the police.  I am just here to report on things. To inform people this is happening."

You look around the vehicle, there was technology that Earth didn't have. There wasn't a single thing you could understand. Getting nervous, you tried to get some fresh air. Clicking a few random buttons, you hear Optimus make a few displeased growls.

"Would you stop that? You know you are touching my body, right?"

    You quickly stop, not knowing how to feel about being inside a mechanic alien.

"Can you lower the windows then? I am starting to feel a little claustrophobic."

    Optimus does as you told him and now you get a clearer view of your sides. To your right there is a white Camaro with black racing stripes. To your left, a red and white car. The fancy type which brand you didn't know nor care.

"Hey beautiful, when I win let's make out in the back of my car!"

    Hearing that comment, you tell Optimus to roll up the windows again. He quickly didn't hesitate to ask questions.

"What is make out?"

    You see another woman stand in front of the car. Holding a red handkerchief. Extremely beautiful and thin, she made walking in heels look easy. The cars start their engines and you start regretting this.

"If we win this, I'll show you."

"What do we get if we win anyway?"

    Looking at the steering wheel, you think about holding it but then again Optimus seems very decided for you not to touch him. Not wanting to make him uncomfortable, you shake the thought off your head.

"I get a good story and three thousand dollars."

"Can I have some of that money? For Sari, of course."

"Absolutely but," you look around the car, trying to look for the seatbelt. The race was about to start and you couldn't find it. "Where is the seat-"

    But the race had started, Optimus didn't listen as he sped though the road. You abruptly lay back on the seat. Making mental notes about the situation. The racers, the rules, the cars, the place.

You wished you could enjoy the excitement of the race ... if it only wasn't that your life was held by a threat.

As Optimus makes an abrupt turn, you move from one seat to the other. Almost doing a complete 360.    

"Would you care to drive more carefully?!"

    You rub your head. Feeling like a small bump on the back, you are thankful the windows are tinted dark. No one can see your humiliating falling and bumping into Optimus windows and door.

"Don't you want to win, missy?"

"I can only win if I get to the finishing line ALIVE!"

    As if he wasn't hearing you, he makes another aggressive movement. This time you end up side down, with your head on the feet rest and your legs on the passenger seat.

"THAT'S IT! I AM DRIVING!"

    You straighten up and quickly put your hands on the steering wheel, taking control of the alien mech.

"Hey, missy! Hands off the steering wheel!!"

"I'll do that when you learn how to drive!"

    You fought against his strength, as he moved himself to the opposite side. It wasn't often that you fought against an alien but if your life wasn't in danger you wouldn't do so. Watching all the cars passing by was also alarming, you weren't only going to die but also lose.

"I'll have you know my driving skills have been renowned by the Elite Guard!"

"I don't give a f–"

    He lost control, as you did. The screeching tires against the pavement could be heard as the rubber of them burned. You couldn't react as Optimus crashes against a pine tree. Hitting your head against the steering wheel, you thought you might get a concussion. However, you get enough strength to get out of the car and walk a few meters away from him. It wasn't until all the racing cars had passed you that Optimus transformed back to his robot form.

"I just got a new paint job and a polish!"

    He says as he sees some scratches on his body.

"And you almost killed me!" you put a hand on your head, it hurts as if your whole brain was pulsating. Your sight is dizzy and your body is weak. "I knew it, I knew this wouldn't work out and I still trusted you."

"We wouldn't be here if you had only kept your hands to yourself."

"No, we wouldn't be here if only you had a goddamn seatbelt?!"

    Optimus was also frustrated with the situation. Now he is too far behind to win the race and he needed the money to buy food for Sari. Not only that but after tonight he is going to have to give explanations to the rest of his team. He is probably gonna be made fun of for not having a 'leader-behavior' and they were right. Because why was he here? At first, he just wanted to help you. But it seems you don't want to nor appreciate his effort.

"And why would I? I don't let humans inside me," he points at you, unaware of your delicate state.  "Besides it's not my fault your body is so weak."

"Well, for someone who is supposed to protect life, you certainly do a great," there is clear sarcasm in your voice. You probably shouldn't be fighting against a giant robot but if he were to squish you right now, he would be doing you a favor.

"I don't even know why you are on Earth if you don't even like humans."

"Oh, I like humans, I just don't like you."

"Well, the feeling is mutual."

    You take off your heels and start walking back on the cold pavement. Feeling cold everywhere, you wonder what is going to kill you first. Hypothermia or brain damage.

"Where are you going?"

"Home."

"We are on the outskirts of the city, you'll get home by the next solar cycle if you walk."

    As much as Optimus dislikes you, he wouldn't let a lady walk alone at night.

"Let me take you home."

"No," now it hurts to breathe. You probably got a few injuries but you tried to hide the pain. The last thing you wanted was to confirm Prime's idea that you were weak. You were, but he didn't have to know. "Just leave me alone."

"Does your pride have no end?" Optimus' words weren't helping either. "Just come inside–"

    He was going to keep talking until he noticed that you had stopped walking. He sees you put a hand on your head and the other on your stomach.

    Suddenly, you lose balance and he quickly reaches a servo out to catch you. He had assumed that most humans should be warm. The coldness of your body was not common. Analyzing you, he sees that you are still breathing but unconscious. You are small on his servo and he feels as though he needs to cover you.

Maybe, you were right ... he should have let you drive.

.

.

.

    There were many questions in Ratchet's processor. But seeing Optimus' worried face restrained his voice box from instigating the Prime.

"I am not an expert in human biology but my analysis says that she is dehydrated and malnourished. She probably hasn't eaten in days."

    Ratchet sees you in the medical berth. In a deep sleep and weakend, he doesn't know when you will wake up.

"Don't you think it would have been better to take her to a human medical center?"

"I thought about it but while I was driving, she woke up momentarily and asked me not to take her there."

    Optimus had assumed that the reason you didn't want to go to a 'hospital' was due that maybe you didn't have a means to pay for it. The thought alone made him spark ache, he didn't understand why humans would charge for a basic right.

"Well then, make yourself useful and bring her some warm human fuel," Ratchet says. "And maybe some human clothes with more fabric or a blanket."

    Optimus nods, but there is hesitancy. He doesn't move and Ratchet catches on this. His optics are on you as if studying you. Most obvious, there is guilt and worry. He takes a closer look at him. Some part of his paint was ripped off and his metal was scratched.

"Did anything of importance happen?"

"I tried to help her with something but things didn't occur as I planned them."

    There was something he was keeping to himself.

"Did anything else happen?"

"It's just ...," he pauses and the longer he looks at you, the more Ratchet wonders. He has known the boy for some time now. He has seen him at his best and at his worst but this is different. It's like he wants to say or do  something but he can't. Either because he is too timid or because he can't find the right words. But Optimus' eloquence was known through all of Cybertron.

"It's nothing."

.

.

.

    The smell of chicken noodle soup wakes up. It is an unknown place but you feel warm. Much more than your cold, small apartment. It was a bright room, and underneath was a red, giant medical bed. A white blanket covers your body and the face of a little girl stares right at you.

"Hi!"

    You slowly stand up, your head still hurting but at least you were alive.

"Hey, kid."

    You take a better look at the place around you. At least it wasn't a hospital and for that you were thankful.

"I am Sari! And you must be (Y/N)? We exchanged Autobot information before?"

    The girl was smiling, excited to see you. By hearing her name, you immediately knew what she was referring to. A few weeks ago, you had received a letter from someone, you assumed that it was a kid due to the wacky handwriting and simple vocabulary. Nonetheless, this kid was selling Autobot information to you, some things valuable, others not so much. After learning the truth behind the kid, you decided to help her as much as you could.

"I am guessing this is the secret base of the Autobots?"

    You ask the obvious. You didn't find any other logical explanation as to why there would be such big beds and medical equipment.

"Yeah ... Please, don't tell anyone," Sari says. "Or Optimus is gonna have to threaten you."

"Well, I would like to see him try," you give the little girl a head pat. "But I promise I won't say a word, just because you ask me to."

    This would have been valuable information if it wasn't due that it didn't matter anymore. You were supposed to have a story by today and the only thing you have is a headache. Another day, another non-existent payment. You are gonna have to get used to eating air at this point.

"You should eat," Sari puts the bowl of soup closer to you. "Optimus made it for you and I helped, of course."

    After hearing his name, you quickly turn to look at the little girl. You could tell she was telling the truth but she also had a mischievous smile.

"Is there something you want to ask me?"   

    You weren't about to make a meal go to waste. Picking up the spoon, you start to dig in. It wasn't bad and you wonder if Optimus actually helped at all because you can't imagine someone who is unable to taste human food, being able to make something this good.

"Well, I was wondering ... Will you be staying with us from now on?"

"No," you simply say, too concentrated in eating to think properly. "Why are you asking that?"

"Well, do you want to?"

"Thanks for the offer but I don't think the Autobots would like me here."

"But I can get so lonely sometimes!" Sari puts puppy eyes on her face and you have to admit that it was slowly working. "I need a friend."

"You can still write to me if you would like."

"That's not enough ..."

    Suddenly, you heard loud and big steps approaching from behind you. You didn't want to think about it. If you don't see it, it's not real. But then you hear mechanics moving and you are sure that if you were to turn around, you'll find a very unpleasant faceplate.

"Sari, do not overwhelm our guests," Optimus says. "She's still recovering."

"Don't mind me, I was just leaving."

    Like an animal, you drink the last of your soup and put it next to you.

"Hey um ... About last night, I ..." He pauses and struggles with his words. "I wanted to apologize–"

"No need."

    You stand up and let the white blanket covering you slip off your body. It gets cold immediately and you are tempted to ask if you can stay with the blanket.

"Wait! If you really need to, you can stay here,"

"And become your charity project? No, thank you."

    His faceplate was still very close to yours. Now you can take a closer look at his optics.  You didn't want to admit it but they were quite beautiful. A type of blue not found on Earth. Maybe not even in the entire universe. It was unique to him and you were a bit jealous of his own individuality.

"I am just trying to help."

"I think you have helped enough," you weren't about to fall for his kindness. It was his own stubbornness that put you in this situation. That and that you haven't taken care of yourself properly but he doesn't have to know that. "If I let you help me again, then I'll for sure die."

"If only you would put your pride away, we could help each other–"

"You want to help me? Why? Because you like me? Or to subside your guilt?"

"Because it's the right thing to do."

"The right thing to do?"  You can't stand his righteousness. Pretending to be this all-good creature when you know that can't be. How good can he be when he is the cause of your misfortunes? Not only yours but to a lot of more people. The worst part of it all is that he doesn't seem to want to do anything about it. "Why don't you start by leaving my planet first then?"

    Optimus stares at you and you look back at him. It was a few seconds but to you it lasted minutes.

    He doesn't say anything but slowly moves apart from you and walks away.

You turn to look at Sari who was still sitting close by.

"Sorry you had to see that kid."

"It's alright, but can I tell you something?"

    You didn't want to be here. The sun was probably about to rise and you just wanted to go home. But you couldn't say no to the girl, she seemed too sweet and her situation was still lamentable. You nod, confirming for Sari to continue.

"I've known Optimus for a time now and I can tell you that he is not very well-versed with the ladies," she says.  "He rescued a woman once and she asked for his phone number."

    Tilting you heard, a lot of things crossed your mind. You have so many questions, especially about the kind of woman who would want a machine as something more than a friend.

"And what happened?"

"He gave it to her and she texted him," she raised a small hand, pointing up. "The text said 'Do you think I am pretty?"

"And Optimus texted back saying 'I think you look soft and squeezable. And she never texted back."

    You stopped yourself from laughing. Although a small smile left your lips. You look away for a second and then look back at the young girl.

"Optimus is good at hiding his feelings but you can tell he was sad she never texted him back."

"Why are you telling me this?"

    You finally ask, curious about the story but mostly about Sari's intentions.

"Just so you know that he can be an idiot sometimes but he has a good heart ... Well, spark," Sari's voice becomes more gentle and this caught your attention. This wasn't supposed to be a funny story and now you feel a bit shameful for laughing.

"And I think he just doesn't know how to tell you that."

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The sun was starting to come out.

You took off your heels for a little bit until the cold pavement was too much to handle for your skin.

    You weren't expecting for things to go this way. Wanting to start a new life, away from everything. It was all going smoothly until they arrived. Now you find yourself on a bench, cold and hungry. Waiting for the first bus to take you home.

How much longer did you have to endure?

    You cover your face, ashamed of yourself. Of every decision you have made in your life. This is your reality now. About to be kicked out of your apartment, without a stable job and nowhere to go. No one to talk to.

Your cellphone rings.

    Not recognizing the phone number on the screen, you were hesitant to answer but lastly, you picked it up, things can't get worse anyways.

"It was harder to get a hold of you than I thought."

You recognized that voice.

"But I am glad you are doing fine. How's the city life treating you?"

"How did you find me?"

    You ask as you look around you. No one was out yet. Just a few cars passed by and the tweets of birds could be heard.

"That doesn't matter. I called thinking you may be interested in a job."

"I am not. No matter what you say, I won't go back there."

"Are you sure? I can send you over the first half of the payment right now."

You were in desperate need. He knows that and is taking advantage of that. Your instincts  were begging you to say yes. To just do one more job, to get enough food to survive for a little while until you can get back on your feet. But ...

"I appreciate the offer. But I have to decline."

    There is a long pause.

"We'll keep in touch."

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"Still thinking about that woman?"

    When Ratchet says things like that, it's difficult not to notice the subtle hits in his voice box.

"Perhaps."

    Ratchet can tell many things from the Prime's actions. He wasn't drinking his fuel and in deep thought. At least he wasn't denying the question.

"I am sure you'll see her again," Ratchet says as he pat's Optimus' shoulder plate. "Next time ask for her number."

"It's not like that."

    His cheeks have a slight blue. Very minimal but Ratchet knows better than that.

It was a lively evening in the Autobot's base. With Bumblebee and Sari playing video games while Prowl and Bulkhead stand next to them. Optimus and Ratchet usually watch from the sidelines, never participating but just treasuring the tranquility of the moment.

"If it's not that then what is it?"

"I just ..."

    Optimus hesitates not because he didn't want to tell Ratchet but because he couldn't understand his own feelings. Was it guilt? Curiosity? It's strange and yet both emotions are something he wishes to not feel. He should be worrying about the things he can fix, people he can help.

He shouldn't think about you.

About yesterday night. About the drive back to the base. You laid on his seat, unconscious. Yet you mustered the strength to say three simple words.

"Don't leave me."

And just like that. His spark ached.

Damn you.

    He doesn't have time for this. For all he cares, he hopes to never see you again.

Because how dare you play with his feelings like that?

"I'm going for a drive."

    There was nothing else to do but ride or die.

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A/N: Here is a new story I am working on. It was really fun to write this. Thank you for all the support you have given me this far! I'll continue to write. For any ideas, comments, concerns, comments you can always message me/or inbox me here. Thank you. Also sorry for any mistakes I made. I don't proof read. Regardless, I hope you enjoy and I'll be answering comments soon!

See you in the next story!

Next:

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