#''im probably gay but I'm supposed to find and kill this dude so I don't have time to worry about that.''

[the-halfling-prince]

My brain: You do not need to write a fanfiction for niche 1999 (probably straight to VHS or made for TV) movie The Pact. It was a mid movie. You said it was mid.

Me: If those sad orphans don't kiss right now I don't know what I'll do

[semi-imaginary-place]

ai somnium files playthrough

eyes, ai, ai in eyes, the ferris wheel is an eye observing the murder scene, hmm idk maybe eyes are a recurring motif.

so something happened 6 years ago. date lost his eye and memories. 5 years ago befriended renju. 4 years ago more or less took over parenting renju's daughter(deadbeat?). and now the mom is dead and daughter found at the scene.

AI, ai, eye, I. aiba, AI ball, eyeball, aibou. Wow the devs are really going at it

Everyone in this game is deranged. I love it.

Oh no mom! She better not be delusional.

Is date on antipsychotics?

He's 24?? I wasn't sure if i'd misread that since everyone calls him a kid. But yeah date would do that. Ok really don't call it a "relationship" mizuki's like 12.

Is she blackmailing date? That's hilarious. Yeah she is. Lol get bullied by a teenager date

She's an egirl minecraft streamer! D: cant tell if thats better or worse than instagram infuencer, probably better honestly

Aiba need to hack line ah nile to find who messages mizuki. 1 isnt that illegal. 2 with a warrant the company would give that info. 3 it could be a burner account. Ip address isnt a sure way either if they're smart

It's been less than 24 hours give the poor girl a break before you potentially permanently damage her mind. So no guardian permission you basically kidnapped a kid and she can't communicate. Ok this feels really scummy. I mean she's non verbal sure but shes literate right she could right down answers

Keitai ah another ai. Bleh i hate timed mechanics and pc controls are bad (it was on sale on steam). Uhhh i did not know what i was doing. I raised the balloons and unintentionally used her abusive mom's voice to calm her. Was there a better outcome? Shoutouts to the dude keeping gay porn at work. Ok i definitely messed up but im curious where this branch goes. How was i suppose to know "comforting voice" was going to be her moms i thought it'd be date or something.

Hmm while mizuki was at bloom park someone might have contacted her. But they only discontinued the 2nd rental phone number after date called? That's pretty sloppy for someone otherwise trying to cover their tracks.

Wow iris you're missing peak hours 5-10. Also all this date stuff is uncomfortable she's 18. Mom's dead calling it

Hmm i thought the phone had been planted to contact mizuki. But if its shoko's phone...

Is mizuki a year behind? If hitomi is an elementary school teacher and mizuki is in her homeroom she's in 6th grade at most or maybe im forgetting school ages

Date's poor back. Buy a second bed

Hah did i miss something. Mizuki got a nile message from renju on saturday? So that was before or after the psynch. Is this a translation error? The message should have been sent friday but today is sunday

So that whole psynch dive was unnecessary and dangerous since mizuki gives us all the same info like 10 hours later like shoko's phone

Date's memory incident was 7 years ago. Hitomi was shot 6 years ago. Why did date dream of her shot

A-set aseto aseto-n chan. I am now hearing acetone whenever ota speaks

The disrespect! Date just calling yakuza guy by his given name.

Uh... why do i feel like that self destruct function is going to become a plot point like date will say 40125(?) to prove he isnt lying or something

also i switched from mouse and keyboard to controller because yeah this game was designed for controller. i should have gotten it for switch... but it was on sale on stream for 7 bucks! anyways using switch joycons (ha!) and idk what it is but there lag or a delay for inputs on the right joystick.

Ok i was not expecting the iris murder, good foreshadowing but i thought she would continue bothering date for the rest of the game. I've been playing too much ace attorney that im now expecting the weird teen girl sidekick. Did sejima actually do it? Why not hire someone to do the actual killing. Date is convinced of his guilt but I'm not. Also i failed that psync...

The game already established date is on some sort of drug given how aiba comments his dosage needs to be increased every time he gets too weird but now the game drops that date doesnt even know he's on the drug which wow flag just went up.

Ooh and then they cant find the body. Pewter said the psyncher brings in a bit of their memory into the pynchie's(?) somnium. How convenient that aiba ran out of batteries. It's totally possible there was no corpse and date hallucinated it and then his own beliefs and memories influenced the somnium given the presentation of events and also the hints that there's something up with date psychologically. Game's making me doubt his sanity. Good writing. I did find it ood he didnt stay with the body, why did he need to rush to hq, what was at hq? The most he needed to go was the car to recharge aiba. Also another time not actually having a cell phone bites him.

And iris isn't dead. Yup game is making me doubt date. Maybe those actually are anti psychotics

Huh is it me or was there another box in the warehouse last night. Also yeah 1.5 hour internal police response seems slow. I cant tell what is a red herring and what isnt.

i was already doubting hitomi's taste in men given the whole teen mom thing. But she foud a mob dude bleeding out who grabbed and kissed her and decided to date him. Says she loves iris more than her own life but introduced this shady af dude to her home life and 12 year old daughter? uhh. Hmm so this partly explains the opening dream. Let's see if im getting this right old boyfriend did crimes and had a dude trying to kill him, hitomi took the shot and almost died and lost control function in her right arm. Police arrested gundude and boyfriend. Now why does date remember the scene? And if boyfriend didn't actually die why was he shown... Actually i don't remember if he was dead in the dream. But i do remember the gouged out eye. Something also happened to date 6 years ago since thats when his memories begin and he's missing his left? Eye. In so's somnium it's speculated by boss and pewter that the faceless person was so's image of himself, then in date's dream was that his image of himself? I guess this is the begining if the hitomi boyfriend hypothesis although that would necessitate hitomi and iris pretending they didnt know date. Date's scared of ghosts. There also the earlier dialogue about how memories are left behind by the psyncher during somnium mostly only the ego/personality/programming is retained not the memories. Ok redid the opening dream, skeleton with a bloody left eye socket. Took a closer look at iris's drawing, criminal boyfriend looks like the guy seen in the dream dark hair red shirt black jacket and pants. Which means date is more likely the shooter.

[ncji]

dude i love toxic relationship fics soo much, also i LOVED the “genma special” lmao (pretty hot not gonna lie). im so glad you write for neji, he’s my absolute fav character

[ The toxic ones are the most fun to write~. That's probably why it ended up so long, and because I put a lot more thought into it than the others. Many a sleepless night was spent playing out that couple's life in my head.

A treat for you!

"Genma," he moaned softly. Neji was trying so hard not to announce their affair to the entire village, lest Gai find out, but his body was overwhelmed by the new sensations.

Shiranui Genma had a surprisingly skilled tongue. That was what his young lover was currently learning. The precision he could wield it with was unbelievable. Neji's hips lifted instinctively as the slick muscle teased his inner walls at an angle that made his toes curl, but those greedy hips were pressed back down into the small stack of pillows they were propped up on.

What was he supposed to do? When Gai was thrusting into him, he angled his hips just right and met every thrust. When Gai gave him oral sex, he shallowly thrusted into his mouth or stroked what his sensei couldn't swallow. But what was he supposed to do when Genma was grinding his surprisingly strong tongue into his vulnerable insides? All he could do was lie there and take it. He didn't want to grab Genma's hair, because he didn't want to interrupt the master of the oral arts while he was working. Genma had already moved his hand away from his own dick twice, so he was apparently not allowed to touch himself. He was at Genma's mercy.

When the thumb massaging his perineum pressed harder and Genma began to move his tongue in more intricate strokes, Neji pushed his fingers into his own hair and bit his lip sore to muffle another moan. He could barely curl a finger inside of himself, so how was Genma curling his tongue so easily in there? The muscle pulled back, but Genma's lips were left to kiss his puckered entrance and--Neji swore he could feel the bastard smirking against his hole!

"You barely made it through my last name. Are you going to make it through my first name?"

Gods, was that what he had been doing? Signing his insides like a piece of art? "Genmaaa!" he whined. It was too much!

He was killing him! That had to be it. Genma had him figured out, he knew Neji had manipulated him, so he was taking him apart with his tongue, piece by piece. Soon, there would be nothing left of the Hyuuga.

That damn tongue circled his hole in a short spiral before pushing back in, leaving Neji clenched in pleasure around it. It wasn't deterred by his hold on it, though. It just moved deeper until Genma's mouth was opened wide against his body. He was deep again, teasing with tiny flicks. Another whine urged him back to work, and Neji focused on the movements as best he could.

The katakana for ge was three long, hard strokes and the teasing tickles of two short ones. At the same time, Genma pressed hard against his perineum, punctuating each stroke. Neji didn't understand how it worked together, didn't know that most of the stimulation of his prostate was coming from that thumb, but he loved it. The n was two long strokes, one shorter than the other, but there was no teasing. It was good, but Neji survived it. The ma was different. As if handwritten, it was one press of his tongue, but four sharp movements. As that character came to an end, the hand just above the base of his cock pressed down harder, which compressed Neji's bladder a little, as well as pushed his prostate towards Genma's tongue.

And Neji came undone. "Ah, Genma!" he cried out. His body quaked with the spasms of his orgasm as Genma fucked him with his tongue until he was spent across his own abdomen and whimpering. His scalp ached from pulling at his own hair, but everything else felt so blissful..."Genma," he sighed.

"Don't pass out. I'm not done with you. Next round, you can sit on my face."

Neji's face was already hot, but it somehow grew hotter. He was learning a lot from the senbon nin.

It actually is a headcanon of mine that our favorite repressed Hyuuga prodigy falls apart when there's a tongue up his ass. Anilingus orgasms send him straight to his father. Heaven. ]

[uniformbravo]

i am here once again...... reading a book and going like aaaahhhhh.......... and that book's name.............. was albert einstein

sike it's just more carry on >:)

---

[Simon] I'm quoting her again. I've been having conversations with her in my head all day. Sometimes Baz joins in the imaginary conversation, too--usually to tell me I'm a twat...though he never uses that word, even in my head. Too vulgar.

Please. can u believe this fuckin guy. im going insane

-

"[...]'Let it go, Ebeneza,' she said. 'You were born with it, but it doesn't have to be your destiny.' [...]"

I'm giggling and trying not to spit out wet biscuit.

"What?" she says. "This is supposed to be an inspirational story."

"Your name is Ebeneza?"

"It's a perfectly good name! Very traditional." She laughs, too, and shoves an entire biscuit into her mouth, washing it down with coffee.

(he's talking to ebb) GOD THIS IS CUTE...... i love that he's friends with her, even if he's basically here to get info out of her they still get along cute ;w;

(but also dam dude 7 years at this school and u NEVER knew what ebb was short for smh....)

-

"Ebb...how did your brother die?" [...]

She immediately shifts forward in her chair and looks away from me. "Well, that's not something we talk about. I'm not to talk about him at all--they buried his name when we couldn't bury his body, even struck his name from the Book--but he was my twin brother. Doesn't feel right to pretend he never was."

"I didn't know he was your twin."

"Yeah. Partner in crime."

"You must miss him."

"I do miss him." She sniffs. "I haven't talked to him since the day he crossed over--no matter what people say."

"Of course not," I say, "He's dead."

[...]

"Sorry, Simon. I just...I think people thought I was going to go with him. That I wouldn't be able to live without him. Nicky wanted me to go."

"He wanted you to kill yourself, too?"

"He wanted me to go with him to..." She looks around, anxiously, and her voice drops to a whisper. "To the vampires. Nicky said he'd be waiting for me--that he'd always be waiting for me."

The biscuit I'm holding snaps. "To the vampires?"

[...]

"[...] I guess that's what happens when they strike you from the Book. I was there for it. Mistress Pitch let me keep the words."

[...]

She waves the staff over the fire, and the words spill out into the flames, but don't burn:

Nicodemus Petty.

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THERE IT IS THAT'S THE BITCH

a million context leading up to this but i just REALLY like the way this reveal was handled, like..... simon visits ebb hoping to glean some info about the vampire attack from someone who was on the grounds that day, then completely by random stumbles across the answer to a DIFFERENT question like WAY outta the blue

and since they weren't finding any leads on nicodemus he sort of got put on the back burner for the moment, all this other shit was happening that distracts u from even thinking abt nicodemus, so unless ur out here LOOKIN for it with ur eyes peeled u probably won't pick up on nicky being a nickname for nicodemus until it's revealed (or at least until vampires come up) and i just think the entire rigamarole is REAL NEAT

fr this story is SO expertly structured and handled with every plot point and subplot being juggled around Flawlessly im just constantly marveling at it all as i'm reading like. miss rainbow rowell kind of RULES at crafting a story this is genuinely so fun to read even past the gay shenanigans i originally came for it's WONDERFUL

-

"Was he with them?" I ask. "The vampires who killed Baz's mum?"

Ebb's chin jerks up. "No," she says defensively. "I asked Mistress Mary myself--before she passed. She swore to me that Nicky wasn't there that day. He'd never do such a thing. Nicky didn't want to kill people. He just wanted to live forever."

The Plot Thickens (thing u say when an important plot advancement just happened but u have no idea what it means or what it changes but by god it HAPPENED)

-

I should probably ask Ebb more questions. Penny wouldn't stop now. Baz would have his wand out, demanding to know everything.

Thinking Of Them....

-

Ebb leans towards me and lays her arm around my shoulders. She does that sometimes. When I was a kid, I loved it. I'd sit extra close to her, so that I'd be easier to reach.

🥺 that's so fuckin SWEET

-

"I'll be fine," I say. "Thanks, Ebb. Happy Christmas."

She opens the door for me, and I try not to seem like I'm in a hurry to say good-bye--but as soon as she closes it, I start running towards my house. I clomp snow all the way up to our turret--then dig out the cash I keep at the bottom of my wardrobe. It isn't much, but it'll get me to Hampshire, I think.

[...]

I'm on a train, an hour away from Watford and an hour from Winchester, when I realize that I probably could have just borrowed a phone from somebody and called.

HE DEADASS

HE FUCKIGNG

IMMEDIATELY HOPPED ON THE TRAIN TO BAZ'S HOUSE HE WAS LIKE NOPE THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I HAVE TO TELL HIM RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY FJFOGUGJFJG

simon is SO impulsive and i LOVE THAT FOR HIM

(also what do u Mean call him. Do U Have His Number

what would he have baz listed as in his phone....)

-

[Baz] I like to practise violin in the library.

GOD i forgot he plays violin this is the most pretentious fuckin sentence i've ever read i h8 him

-

"Basilton... Mr. Pitch."

I let the instrument drop from my chin and turn. Vera is standing at the door. "I'm sorry to interrupt. But your friend is here to see you."

"I'm not expecting anyone."

"It's a friend from school," she says. "He's wearing your uniform."

"Mr. Pitch there's a fucking freak standing on our front lawn I think he's urs"

-

I guess it could be Niall. He comes over sometimes. Though usually he'd text first...Not usually--always. And he wouldn't be in uniform. Nobody would; we're on break.

yeah what kinda fuckin IDIOT would show up in full uniform, during break,

-

When I get to the foyer, Simon Snow is standing there like a lost dog.

Or an amnesia victim.

LOL sights that make u bluescreen

-

Vera must have told him to stay on the rug, because he's standing right in the middle of it.

GOD why is this so funny. the absolute mood this is and also baz being able to pick up on it like immediately kgjgkjdlfdg

-

"Baz...," he says again. And I wait for him to get it out. "You're--you're wearing jeans."

SIMON

-

He swallows. Snow has the longest neck and the showiest swallow I've ever seen. His chin juts out and his Adam's apple catches--it's a whole scene.

i'm sure it is when ur eyes snap to him with laser focus at the slightest hint of movement, and also u view everything he does in rose-tinted slow motion

"Well," I say, pointedly lifting my eyebrows. "It was good of you to stop by--"

Snow lets out a stymied growl and steps forward, off the rug, and then steps back. "I came to talk to you."

I nod. "All right."

"It's..."

"All right," I say again, this time cutting him some slack. I don't actually want him to get so frustrated that he leaves. (I never want Snow to leave.)

👌 i am THIS fucking close

-

"You'll have to take off your boots," I say. "They're still dripping."

He crouches to unlace them, wet wool trousers straining ridiculously over his thighs....

And then Simon Snow is standing in my foyer in his red-stockinged feet.

All the blood I've got in me rises to my ears and cheeks.

"Come on, Snow. Let's...talk."

god hes so fucked he won't make it 5 minutes

dying to know what he's thinking right now, about what simon could Possibly need to talk about so urgently that he fuckin RAN to his house, In Person, had to tell him Face To Face In The Flesh

the "talk" in "let's...talk" is SO LOADED LMAO

-

[Simon] She clears her throat, and Baz stops to introduce me. "Mother, you remember my roommate, Simon Snow."

She must have already recognized me, but she still looks shocked, which reminds me to ask myself what the bleeding hell I think I'm doing here. In the House of fucking Pitch.

Which I should have thought through on the train, or in the taxi, or even walking the five miles from the main road to Baz's front door.

I never think.

Impulsive Boy

too busy imagining a mythical creature running alongside the train/cab

-

"He's just here to visit, Mother. We have a project we're working on together--a school project. And you don't have to call him that. You can just call him Simon."

"You don't call me Simon," I mumble.

"We'll be up in my room," Baz says, ignoring me.

LOL

baz should just fuckin. immediately start calling him simon from now on. as a funny practical joke,

-

I try to keep up with him. I still can't believe he's wearing jeans. I guess he wouldn't wear his uniform when he's not at school, but I'd always imagined Baz lounging around in suits and waistcoats--with, like, silk scarves hanging around his neck.

I mean...they do look like really expensive jeans. Dark. And snug from his waist to his ankles without looking tight.

thank u for this crucial insight simon

-

We get to a long hallway, and Baz opens a tall arched door into a bedroom. His bedroom.

It's another vampire joke: The walls have red fabric panels, and his bed is monstrous and decorated with gargoyles. (There are gargoyles. On his bed.)

FORTY-TWO OF THEM

-

"All right, Snow," he says, "what the hell are you doing here?"

"You invited me," I say. So lame. So eternally lame.

"Is that why you're here?" For Christmas?"

imagine if he was. if he was just like "yea"

what would u say to that baz. u wouldn't be able to fuckin handle it

-

"I haven't thought it through that far. I came here as soon as I left Ebb's."

"Well, what does Penelope think?"

HE CALLED HER, PENELOPE,

"I haven't talked to her yet."

"Where is she?"

"I don't know--I told you, I haven't talked to her. I came straight here."

Baz seems confused. "You came straight here?"

"Would you rather I waited to tell you after Christmas break?"

uuuuooghuough......... simon forgot he was soooo fucking mad at baz but Baz Sure Didn't

-

He looks away. "No. I mean, I've been reading a lot of books about vampires."

I stop myself from saying, "Self-help?" "What have you found out?" I ask instead.

LMFAO SIMON

vampire jokes aside baz would NEVER willingly read a self-help book we both know this

"That they're dead and evil and like to kill babies."

"Huh," I say. "Did it say anything about salt and vinegar crisps?" Baz eats them on his bed when he thinks I'm asleep, then brushes the crumbs between our beds.

GFJGOGDKG GOD FUCKING EXPOSED that's such a random pull it reminds me of the fuckin ritsu post thats like "siblings will literally bring up the most random and specific beef the first chance they get that's why when mob said "sorry ritsu" he immediately went "for the time you got carsick and threw up in my hood?" he had that saved up and Ready" LIKE

Literally same energy

-

There's a knock at his door, and it swings open.

"You're supposed to knock!" Baz snaps before the girl even steps inside.

he is so rattled he's so jazzed simon commit this moment to memory so u can make fun of him for it later

It's his sister, I think. She's too young for Watford yet. She looks like his stepmother, dark-haired and pretty, but not like Baz and his mother--they're drawn in bolder lines than this.

[...]

"Mum says you have to come down for dinner."

"Fine," he says.

She stands there.

"We'll be down soon," he says. "Go away."

The girl rolls her eyes and lets the door close.

it is mentioned Multiple times that some of the characters have siblings (first penny, and now baz) but we never get so much as A Name for any of them (besides premal)

fascinated with this little snippet because of that. she's his stepsister. they don't seem close. What Else. Release The Forbidden Sibling Lore

-

"What?" He scowls up at me.

"I said, send a message if--"

"You're not leaving now."

"I told you everything I know."

"Snow, you came in on the last train, then you walked for an hour. You haven't eaten all day, and your hair's still wet--you're not going anywhere tonight."

BRO NO NO NOT THIS NOT FUCKING THIS

I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA BE LIKE "now that ur here u have to help me continue my research ur not getting out of it now" but NO HE PULLS THE RUG RIGHT OUT FROM UNDER U AND SMACKS U WITH THE "u haven't eaten all day you'll catch a cold u need to rest" LIKE AAUAUAAAAAUAUUUGGGHHHHHHHHHH?????????!!!!!!!!?!!?!???!!!?!?!?

fucking insidious. HEINOUS. cannot BELIEVE the AUDACITY

-

Snow was a wreck at dinner.

Which I might have enjoyed if I wasn't so desperate for him to stay.

SCREAM??????????????????????????????????? SCREAMS

-

I've never actually sat at a table with Snow before. I let myself watch him, and let myself enjoy it, at least for a few minutes. I keep doing that, since this all started--indulging myself. (What's that they say about having dessert first if you're on the Titanic?)

god GOD he's indulging himself. gives himself little a staring as a treat

(i love that it's so in line w everything we've been reading tho like u don't have to just take his word for it we have Seen him indulging himself more and more right before our very eyes, slowly descending further and further into his own personal hell,)

Snow's table manners are atrocious--it's like watching a wild dog eat. A wild dog you'd like to slip the tongue.

After dinner, we go to th

SCREAM SCREAM SCREAMC SCREAMS SCREAM FUCKING SCREAMS HELLO??????????????????????? FUCKKING HELLO?????????????????????????? HOLY SHIT????? HOLY SHIT??????

ARE UYOU OKAY IS HE OKAY????????? OBVIOUSLY HES NOT THIS GUY HAS NEVER BEEN OKAY A SINGLE DAY IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE HE'S THE LEAST OKAY MOTHERFUCKER ON THE PLANET EARTH HHE

im literaqlly fucking crying right now there are tears coming out of my eyes he can't just SAY THIS SHIT he can't DO THIS AND LITERALLY HE JUST MOVES RIGHT THE FUCK ON???? "after dinner, we" MY ASS GET THE FUCK BACK HERE AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHAT I JUST READ

U CAN'T. YOU CAN'T. he literally says this shit and then moves right along like nothing happened but i was THERE i saw it HAPPEN i was at ground ZERO i SAW this freak climb into the fountain and gargle the pennies like pop rocks and then just get out and walk away and expect us all to mind our own business I CAN SEE,,, UR WET ASS FOOTPRINTS,, SLOPPING ACROSS THE CONK CRETE . U CAN MOVE ON BUT I WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT TRANSPIRED HERE TODAY

he drives me insane he fucking makes me lose my fucking mind. baz pov is a WARZONE and i am out here every day fighting for my LIFE

After dinner, we go to the library and I show him what I've found on vampires. He keeps moving away from me, and I pretend not to notice.

romantic date ideas

-

Snow lowers his eyebrows. "When you look at it that way, why doesn't everyone cross over?"

"Because it's death," I say.

"It clearly isn't."

"They say your soul dies."

"That's tosh," he says.

"How would you know, Snow?"

"Observation."

"Observation," I say. "You can't observe a soul."

"You can over time," he says. "I think I'd know--"

"It's death," I say, "because you need to eat life to stay alive."

"That's everyone," he says. "That's eating."

OOUUUHHHHHHHH followup on the point where simon was talking to penny saying baz isn't dead, he has magic, and that's life etc etc etc

LOVING this subtle confrontation of simon arguing that point directly to baz, and ALSO love that he's figuring out how to get baz to talk about vampire stuff w/o setting him off, like he's meeting him on his terms by being vague about it instead of just yelling ADMIT UR A VAMPIRE for the 1200th time

it's good shit 👌👌👌

-

Snow sits back. His mouth is open--because no one ever taught him to close it. He pushes at his bottom lip with his tongue. I think about licking blood from it.

AND THEN WE HAVE BAZ'S HORNY ASS,

"It's death," I say, looking back down at my book, "because you look at other people, living people, and they seem really far away. They seem like something else. The way that birds seem like something else. And they're full of something you don't have. You could take it from them, but it still won't be yours. They're full, and...you're hungry. You're not alive. You're just hungry."

OOOOOFFFFF HELLO THIS IS THE MOST OPEN HE'S LITERALLY EVER BEEN WITH SIMON HELLO??????? bro the strat WORKED this is PROGRESS im yellingggggggg

-

When I look up, Snow's staring right at me.

I can feel the cross around his neck, like static in my salivary glands, but it's never been less discouraging. I could knock him over right now. (Kiss him? Kill him? Improvise?)

IMPROVISE

"You should ask your parents," Snow says.

"Whether I'm alive?" Fuck. I didn't mean to say it like that. To concede, even a little.

UUUUOOOOOUUUUUUHHHHHUUU OHHHH SHIT OH SHIT AAAAAA BOY LET HIS GUARD DOWN OOOOOOOOO

his distracted ass fantasizing abt biting simon while trying to have a serious conversation w him LOL

Snow closes his mouth. Swallows. That's where I'd bite him, right in the throat.

cannot BELIEVE HIM

spent ONE dinner watching him eat like a wild animal and couldn't recover fucking RIP

"I meant," he says, "you should ask them if they remember Nicodemus. Maybe they know where he is."

and the way simon doesn't immediately jump on it like he would've before any of this UGH im fucking dying dude it's TOO MUCH

-

[Simon] "Whose room is this?" I ask.

Baz is crouching next to a bookshelf. "My aunt Fiona's."

I step back into the doorway. "What are we doing here?"

LOL HE STEPS BACK i mean probably a smart move but still funny as hell

-

Baz is flipping through the pages. I crouch down next to him. "What is that?"

"It's a memory book," he says. "They used to give them out at Watford before the Mage took over. At your leavers ball. It's got class pictures from every year and little stories...."

[...]

I find another snapshot of Nicodemus and Baz's aunt, this time posing in old-fashioned costumes. "Did you know Watford used to have a drama society?" I ask.

"Watford had a lot of things before the Mage."

ooohh i love these tiny peeks into what watford was like before the mage came into power like

when ur first introduced to the mage it's thru simon's pov so obviously he's gonna have only positive things to say about him, and it all sounds great in theory, like opening the school to Everyone with magic instead of gatekeeping what kinds of people can attend, all the flashbacks of him talking about activism and the changes he wants to make

and likewise the old families (esp the pitches) are cast in a negative light bc theyre the Enemy and are Against all the causes the mage is fighting for

but then u get all these little bits of context sprinkled in here and there that complicate the situation, like baz framing it as fighting for his family, for magic, and shit like this kinda puts that in perspective, like

these are lil pieces of watford history, bits of Fun and Life that have been sucked out of tradition and been lost, and like. simon even SAYS he wishes he had one

He holds the book open to a page full of photos. It makes me wish I had something like it--I don't have any pictures of myself or my friends.

like it's not just his family's power baz is fighting for, it's things like this that have been discontinued because of the mage

and subtle drip feeding these things to us like this is such a neat and effective way to get u to see the pitches' side of things, while at the same time simulating what i assume to be simon's slow, gradual journey into changing his opinion of the mage and seeing more eye to eye with baz

it's just really cool!

-

"Come on," Baz says. "I'll show you to your room."

-

My room turns out to be the creepiest one yet:

[...]

Plus there's something under the bed.

I don't know exactly what, but it moans and clicks and makes the bedposts shake. I end up at Baz's door, telling him I'm going back to Watford.

GJFJGKDJFKDKGSLKD simon being so creeped out by baz's house is SO GOOD hes like u know what fuck this im walking the 10 hours back to watford in the dead of night starting right NOW

"What?" He's half asleep when he comes to the door. And flushed--he must have gone hunting after I went to bed. Or maybe they keep kennels for him on the grounds.

BITCH THEY BETTER 🔪

-

"Come on, Snow, you can sleep on my couch. The wraiths don't hang out in here."

👀

"Why not?"

"I creep them out."

"You creep me out," I mutter, and he throws one of his pillows into my face. (It smells like him.)

DOES IT .

I realize, as I'm settling in on his couch, that I don't mean it. About him creeping me out.

I used to mean it. I usually do.

But he's the most familiar thing in this house, and I fall asleep better, listening to Baz breathe, than I have since winter break started.

EXCUUUUUUUUSE MEEE

EXCUUUUUUUUUUUSE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE

U FUCKING

WHAT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i don't even have anything else to say about this just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

u can't do this to me u CANT fucking do this to MEEEEEE WHAT DO U MEEEEEEEEAAAANNNNN OTL OTL OTL

THE FACT. that we are seeing simon slowly slowly SLOWLY open up to baz it started with the forced humanizing and then spending time Directly working with him on something seeing him and penny getting along so well SHARING HIS MAGIC and now THIS u gotta be KIDDING ME,

the frequent descriptions of baz's physical appearance starting with "his dark hair" to "his grey eyes" to "his crooked nose" to "he's wearing JEANS and they are TIGHT" and "he looks flushed" and even into "it smells like him" LIKE???????? he probably doesn't even realize he's doing it BUT I DO.... I AM AWARE AND I AM TAKING NOTE EVERY TIME

it's something i've been thinking for a while now but i REALLY wanna say this is going in the direction of "simon being completely oblivious to the fact that he's falling for baz" so u get all this shit where he's like "oh those are some really form-fitting jeans" and "this pillow smells like him" and "he is the most comforting thing in this house rn" without batting an eye because to him they are just COMPLETELY normal observations and Also he's still "in love" with agatha, his one singular love interest slot is currently being occupied by her ergo it's Impossible for him to have feelings for anyone else atm

which is another thing too like i don't think he even knows what Actual love is like, because whatever he's got going on with agatha is Not It i mean. she's his happy ending, she's beautiful, she's the light at the end of the tunnel for him, she's the personified Happily Ever After he's been clinging to to get him through all the Chosen One shit he has to deal with

and while i'm sure he does love her, it's not the right kind of love. it's just part of a script, the thing that's Supposed To Happen. the happiness in his relationship with her always stemmed from the comfort it brought him to have something figured out in his catastrophe of a life

so Because his view of love is so skewed, when he starts catching Actual feelings for baz he doesn't pick up on it At All bc pff lmao that's not a CRUSH those are just my very specific Enemy feelings reserved only for baz and nobody else i've never felt this way about anybody else in my life just him. bc he's my enemy

so that's my theory im gunning for it likes charge reblogs cast pls support me in this trying time xoxo

---

haha wouldn't it be funny if i ended the post here and didn't catch up to where i'd left off before haha wouldn't that be so silly and whimsical of me hahaha :))))

I SWEAR THERES LIKE. TWO CHAPTERS LEFT TIL I CATCH UP I SWEAR 2 GOD. NEXT TIME FOR REAL FOR REAL OR I WILL WRITE A FORMAL APOLOGY FOR ALL THE LIES AND DECEPTION IVE COMMITTED

legit if i dont catch up next time i'll shit there is NO WAY