#''i felt pathetic for getting sad about it. i felt guilty knowing that there were people out there like me who were /happy/ being like this.

[stabbylambchop]

Hey uh

anyone here on Art Fight this year or-

Cuz I'm on there, same name and everything. I'm on Team Vampires.

You can like, add me or whatever...I mean, if you want...

I haven't interacted with anyone on here or even really drawn in a couple months, sweet pulsating spider-christ ...

[infizero]

im reading loveless by alice oseman and like. literally want to throw up and die reading it

[hopeluna]

heyy<3 Can you do a Katsuki x female reader comfort where the reader is getting ready for a date with him but when she's doing her makeup it isn't going the way she way she wants it to, so she gets upset and Katsuki is like comforting her? It's alr if you don't want to!!

ProHero!Bakugou Katsuki x fem!reader

CW: 651 words. mentions of insecurities based on looks, i aged him up as a pro hero to better fit the narrative i hope u like it <333

You sit there for what feels like years, staring at the reflection on the mirror. You decide it's absolutely pathetic. The tears that start to sting your waterline definitely don't help.

It's date night. A rare occurrence since Katsuki's missions spiked up these past few weeks, added with your work stress. Tonight was supposed to fun and relaxing.

You're feeling anything but that. Katsuki is going to be here in less than 5 minutes, as he has texted you, and here you are- still in a old t-shirt of his and worn out shorts- not ready.

It's just one of those days. The makeup on your face isn't sitting right. You've tried to do your eyeliner for the million-th time without smudging it, all the lipsticks look just wrong on you, the foundation feels more like acid on your skin the more you keep messing it up.

You know it's irrational to think about but Katsuki always looks so handsome even without trying, it's bound to be a shame to others when they see you - in all your messed up glory - alongside him.

The fan above you hums gently into the air. There are muffled conversations from the street outside, occasional shouts from kids playing and tackling each other on the ground. The light from the bathroom door you left open serves to give you a further headache. You're so focused on the throbbing ache, you don't hear the front door opening, the sound of keys.

Katsuki is rightfully startled when he walks in the room. He felt uneasy from the moment you didn't excitedly jump on him at the front door, and now the messy room and your sad face staring into the mirror. He can feel his own lips etching into a frown at the sight.

You don't seem startled from the outside when he walks up behind you, trying to make eye contact in the mirror. He squeezes your shoulder gently before speaking, "everything okay?"

You lower your head, nonchalantly gesturing to the messy table full of makeup products. Katsuki would've found your sad pout adorable if it weren't for the tears stuck to your lashes.

He lets out a low hum in understanding. Katsuki is well aware there are some days you don't particularly like how your outfits or looks turn out - he's aware of it, though he doesn't quite understand how you can't understand that he's left awestruck every time he glances at you.

His eyes flash towards you when you shuffle in your seat a little, "can we...stay in tonight?" - you look at him sheepishly, guilty for ruining the night. Katsuki only tsks at you.

"Don't be dumb thinking whatever you're thinking. Of course, we can stay in. My cooking's better than whatever restaurant we were going to go to, anyways."

30 minutes later, you feel much better with a clean face, which Katsuki insisted he help with. You had told him cheekily katsu curry when he asked what you wanted to eat. You only got a scoff in return. You tap your fingers on the cool kitchen island, softly humming at the mouth watering scent that had begun to waft through the room. The TV is muffled in the background, dimly lighting the living room with the light from the kitchen. The air is cool in a refreshing way. You think you could stay like this forever.

You frown at the sudden poke on your temple as Katsuki walks past you to the couch, hands carrying two steaming bowls.

You wordlessly follow him, snuggling into him on the couch after snatching your bowl. You choose to dig in and ignore the groan from beside you when you turn on your favourite reality tv show- the one that Katsuki claims to hate.

You think this might just be your favourite date ever.

© hopeluna. Do not copy, translate, modify or repost any of my work in this or any other site. Do not steal or modify my ideas/concepts either.

[gyll-yee-haw]

Could you write Donnie crushing on the reader and he walks in while she's in the shower or like changing and he acts like it's nothing, he apologizes and leaves so she can get situated and then that's that BUT he CANNOT forgot about it and he goes home being a perv thinking of how beautiful she is and he gets horny

Donnie doesn't know when to stop

Absolutely gross, hottest thing I ever wrote. I love pathetic men <3

Warnings: accidentally perv!Donnie, he's OBSESSED with you, masturbation (m), edging, ruined orgasm, he's so sub! it hurts, pain!kink, virgin!Donnie, unprotected sex

Fucking 3k words, looks like Maria doesn't know when to stop EITHER 😭

---

You had to do a school project together and he was losing his mind about it

Like yeah, you were friends and you used to hang out all the time, but only at school

Now he was going TO YOUR HOUSE

It felt so intimate just being there

It was nothing much, but he was so obsessed with you it made him act that ridiculous

He was so nervous that he just couldn't sit still at home, so he decided to head to your place, even though it was a bit earlier than you expected

He thought he could just hang out in front of your house until the time you were expecting him to come

The problem was that your mom was leaving the house and found him seating there

"Oh, you must be Donnie! Y/N is waiting for you, come in!"

He should have said no, that it was still too early, but your mom said you were waiting... so maybe you were ready? He shouldn't keep you waiting

"I'm going to work right now. She's in her room, upstairs." Your mom told him, before closing the door and leaving

So he went upstairs, obviously

You just got out of the shower, and was pacing around the room, a towel wrapped around your body, looking for a cute outfit to wait for Donnie

Your bedroom door was open, since you thought you were alone at home

Donnie was very shy, walking upstairs without making a sound, just thinking about what should he say to you, rehearsing in his mind what kind of greeting would make him sound... not terrified

He stopped immediately when he saw you

It was so wrong to just stand there and stare, but it was impossible not to

He watched as you placed your clothes on the bed, letting the towel fall at your feet

Felt like his blood abandoned his body

It couldn't be real, he must be dreaming...

But it only lasted a few seconds, until you looked towards the door and saw him

You let out a scream, completely horrified

Then you slammed the door shut

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE? SHOULDN'T YOU BE HERE IN AN HOUR?"

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, I swear I didn't... I wasn't trying to... listen." He tried to explain, but he couldn't find the words. He was probably more embarrassed than you. "I think... I think I should go"

"Yeah, you should..." was all you could say, sitting on the floor wondering if you'd ever be brave enough to see his face again

He walked home absolutely heartbroken. He couldn't believe that he had ruined EVERYTHING. Now you thought he was a perv... you'd never talk to him again

He didn't feel anything but shame and sadness until he went to bed that night

I guess that's when the adrenaline rush wore out and he thought about it all

It didn't last more than 15 seconds, but during that time you were completely naked right before his eyes... and so close he could smell the lotion on your body

Maybe he was crazy, but the fact that you were getting ready to see him...

He imagined you applying the lotion to your skin a few minutes before he walked in... you were probably thinking about him while you did so... I mean... you knew he was coming over soon

And as if the thought of you applying the lotion to your body wasn't enough to drive him crazy... now he knew what your body looked like

He shivered as the sight of your tits crossed his mind

His hand slowly traveled to his pants zipper

God, he felt so guilty for doing this, it was so so wrong

But his cock was so so hard :(

Poor baby, was in so much pain

Leaking already!!

But the guilt was eating him alive, you were his friend...

That's why he decided to torture himself a bit, would make it all a little less wrong... if he got some punishment, you know

He started stroking his shaft and he got close so pathetically quick

And then he stopped

His heart raced. He had never edged himself before...

He waited for it to fade, before starting again. And then stopping again as he got closer

It was quite addictive... he started to let it go further each time, stroking himself fast and getting impossibly closer to release, then stopping

His cock was leaking so much that it all sounded like a wet mess, masking his ridiculous moans

He started to imagine you there, doing it, punishing him

"Gonna teach you not to spy on naked girls, you fucking perv"

And he would moan "please, Y/N, I'm so sorry..."

I mean, Donnie has an incredible imagination, it was so convincing that he even cried

All while denying his release over and over and over again

Until he couldn't hold it anymore

It was an accident </3

But his orgasm hit him out of nowhere

He cried out "no no no!" as ropes of cum shot out of his cock

He immediately stopped stroking himself and placed his hand on the base of his cock, squeezing it hard enough to hurt

He ruined his own orgasm :/

And he just laid down there looking like a pathetic mess. Tears on his face, his hand and clothes full of cum but his balls still hurt so much from not finishing it

But now he was so so overstimulated he couldn't even dream about touching himself any time soon

Eventually, he passed out from exhaustion

When he woke up the next day, he felt absolutely sick

How the hell was he supposed to see your face at school

Let's be honest, that wasn't the first time he masturbated thinking about you (number was closest to 100th tbh)

And he could always look you in the eye as if nothing happened afterwards

But it felt different now that... he had seen you for real and you knew that

Oh god... were you mad at him? You probably HATED him

He thought about calling in sick

But some force was dragging him out of that bed

He didn't understand it, but the truth was that his obsession with you grew considerably and he just needed to see you, even if you never spoke a word to him again

And part of him... enjoyed it? The idea of you punishing him like that

So yeah, he went to school that day

But he avoided you like the plague

If he saw you in a corridor, he would run in the opposite direction

Spend so much time hiding from you in the bathroom

But he couldn't hide forever

You sneaked behind him when he was looking for something on his locker

"Donnie?" You called, making him drop everything inside the locker, making a terribly loud noise, everyone looked at him

You bursted into laughter, helping him pick some things up

"Thanks." He said, completely unable to look you in the eyes.

"I think we should talk." You said calmly, after seeing how nervous he was

"Yes. Y/N, please, I can't tell you how fucking sorry I am..." he closed his eyes, cursing himself mentally for being so stupid

"It's okay, Donnie" you placed a hand securely on his shoulder. "It's not your fault. I knew you were coming over, I should have been more careful."

He held his breath as soon as your hand landed on his shoulder. It was like your touch reactivated his memories. Then he was stupid enough to look at you

You were giving him such a sweet, sincere smile

God, you were SO beautiful he felt like dropping to his knees right there

"What if you walked me home today? Then you can stay and we'll work on the project. Forget anything that happened, we need to finish it this week." You asked

"That's... that's a great idea." He nodded, even though he would rather die than go to your house anytime soon

But as soon as he saw how okay you were with everything, he calmed down a little. So your friendship wasn't ruined...

You two caught the bus and talked all the way to your neighborhood, like you always did, nothing seemed to change

Then you walked to your house and he started go get tense again

You noticed and you held his hand as you led him through the house

And it wasn't anything new, you always held his hand when he was nervous

Aww a couple of besties <3

Soon enough, he was in your bedroom, where it all happened the day before

You sat on your bed, grabbing all the books you would need, taking to yourself (cause he wasn't listening) about the ideas you had

While Donnie sat on the floor hallucinating about how that was the exact same spot you left your towel fall the day before

If it was right now, it would fall directly on his lap

Like, he didn't even dare to imagine actually touching you, but he would kill someone to have that towel

He would hump on it like a beast

Again, Donnie's imagination is so good and Donnie doesn't know when to stop

That's the source of 99% of his problems

He felt himself getting hard

"Hey, can I use your bathroom really quick?" He asked, before he started sweating in front of you

You nodded and gave him the directions

He walked in, locked the door and splashed water to his face

How the hell was he supposed to get any work done with a fucking boner on

Maybe he should just take care of it quickly in there

In your bathroom, fuck

The amount of times those walls had witnessed your naked body...

He wondered if you had ever touched yourself in there

Yeah, my boy lost his mind

Started stroking himself fast, he couldn't wait to finish and just get everything done so he could go home

But then..... he had the worst idea ever

Cause after what he discovered last night, he didn't want to finish so fast anymore

He just needed to relieve a bit of the pressure, then he would feel better

His dick would probably soften anyway, then he would do something about it back home

He stroked himself until he was on the edge of spilling... then stopped, shoving his dick inside his pants again and going back to your room

Did I mention it was the worst idea ever?

Cause he walked into the room to find you laying in bed on your belly, uniform skirt barely covering your ass

You were focused on whatever you were reading, pen in your mouth

"Come here." You called, without looking at him

He walked back to where he was sitting before, on the floor, but stopped when you said: "no, come sit on the bed, I wanna show you something"

He wanted to say 'oh no, I'm more comfortable on the floor :)' but who the fuck would buy that

He swallowed hard and sat at the very edge of the bed

He didn't want to look, but he could see your pretty little baby blue panties from that angle

And he felt like crying

"I think I have to use the bathroom again." He blurted out loud

"Donnie." You sighed, sitting down next to him. "Are you okay? You've been acting so weird today..."

He knew it wasn't a great opportunity, but it was... an opportunity. One he never had before

"No, I'm not." He admitted. "I have the biggest fucking crush in the world on you. Always had. Since we first met."

"Oh Donnie, you're so silly." You chuckled. "I know that, I asked you what's wrong with you today."

"What do you mean you know that?" His eyes widened.

"It's as obvious as that boner you're trying to cover with your hands" you shrugged

My boy was absolutely flabbergasted

He went through all shades of red the human eye can catch

"You know..." you sat a little closer to him, taking his hands in yours. "Yesterday I was so excited that you were coming over... I wanted to dress up all cute. Picked up a time we would be here alone... thought that maybe, by the end of the afternoon, I'd get you to take my clothes off. I just didn't expect you to catch me without them already... that's why I was so upset, I wanted to take things slow, you know."

He was pretty sure it was all still part of his hallucinations, there was no way you were saying that

You looked down to his pants and you could literally see his cock throbbing

And he caught the way you squeezed your tights at that

"Can I kiss you? Please..." he murmured

"Yes, Donnie." You smiled, leaning close to his lips

It was the sweetest kiss in the world

Until your hand 'accidentally' bumped into his boner :(

And he moaned against your mouth

God, that made you feral

"Donnie, baby, let me help you, you look like you're in so much pain..."

His heart raced... it was like you KNEW

Like you knew exactly what he was into

But let's be honest, he was so horny he was into absolutely everything at the moment

"You don't- you don't have to" he smiled shyly

The most beautiful smile in the world, how could you not want to??

"I'm gonna take care of you, okay?" You said as you slowly unbuttoned his jeans

When his cock jumped free before your eyes, both of you could have cried. Him, from relief. You from the most absolute desire

"Tell me what you like, baby" You began stroking him slowly

"Huh?" He got all nervous. Everyone already thought he was a freak, he didn't need you to think the same. "I-I like you..."

"Yeah?" You smiled at him. "I like you too. You're so sweet, Donnie, can I ask you something?"

He nodded, bitting him lips to prevent loud moans to escape.

"Has anyone ever sat on this pretty cock?" You asked, giving him your best doe eyes

"No..." he admitted, a little embarrassed

Before you could say anything, he grabbed your hand, screaming "stop, please, stop..."

You stopped everything, putting both hands in the air and looking at him wide eyed

"I'm so sorry, Donnie... fuck, you didn't want this? You should have told me, baby, you don't ever have to..."

"No... I wanted this. I wanted this for so long... I'm sorry, didn't mean to scare you..." He said. "I just... I was about to cum."

"Well..." you laughed at him. "Isn't that kind of the point?"

Shit.

"Tell me what's on your mind, baby, I wanna help." You offered, seeing how his cock was rock hard and extremely unsatisfied

"It's just that... I like to... hold it sometimes, you know? Feels really good." He admitted, absolutely ashamed of himself

Those words, on that shy tone of his, sent a shiver down your entire body

"Donnie..." you basically moaned his name. "You're so perfect... I can't express how badly I want you, fuck..."

He smiled widely. You kissed that shit out of that gorgeous smile

When you realized, you were already straddling him

"Can I sit on your cock, please? I swear I won't let you cum until you beg me, okay?" You asked

He never agreed to anything that fast, my boy was in HEAVEN

You removed your panties and he helped you slowly sink on his cock

You don't remember ever being that wet before, but it still hurt a bit, because he was so big :)

He was so horny he felt like he might pass out

And then you started moving up and down, up and down

Oh sweet baby boy cried again :(

I mean... all that was happening would be enough to get him desperate, but let's not forget how last night all he got was half of the worst orgasm ever

My boy was starving

"Please, please, stop, I..." he said, and you immediately stopped everything

"Oh baby..." you brought a hand to his face, wiping his tears. "Stop torturing yourself... three times in a row? Let go for me, baby, come on... can I make you cum? Please?"

Yeah, you said you were gonna make him beg, but you were the one who did it, i know

It's just that... Donnie is just a little baby who doesn't know when to stop :(

Of course he said yes, you asked so politely

You removed his cock from you, cause letting him cum inside would be too much for the first time

Considering the state he was in, it could send him to a coma lol

You stroked him so good, prasing him the entire time

"You look so pretty right now, baby, all fucked up for me"

"Come on, I want you go let go for me, you can do it, baby, you deserve it..."

Fuck, he never came that fucking hard in his life

You kept stroking and he kept shooting him load, all over your school uniform :/

He cried out so beautifully and you swore he wasn't coming down ever, he came so muchhh <333

And he just likes the pain of you still stroking his sensitive cock after it was over

Yeah, Donnie doesn't know when to stop :(

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

If you're comfortable with doing smut, can you do a yan! best friend fic where reader says one night "I'm still a virgin" (yk because he never lets them go out) so he almost immediately changes that.

Will oblige <3

(Reader) cracked open another beer, a small frown on their tipsy face as they sat on their living room floor.

Not three hours earlier, (Reader) had been excitedly trying to sneak out of work after clocking off, hoping to do so without being caught by their best friend. (Reader) had seen their best friend getting chewed out by their management, so a small (not so) guilty part of them hoped that he would be stuck staying late to make up for whatever it was that he had done wrong. But as (Reader) silently clocked off, Max's voice right behind them startled (Reader) so bad they released a squeak.

"Why do you look so guilty?" He had meant it as a joke, but (Reader's) uncomfortable attempt at a smile caught him off guard.

"Heyyy.. I thought you were working late?"

"No? Why would I be?"

(Reader) swallowed hard, a tight smile still twitching on their lips. "Ah, the stars told me so! I knew astrology was a sham!" They replied sarcastically, unable to contain their annoyance.

"Is everything okay, (Reader)?" Max asked in a concerned tone, leaning in to better read (Reader's) expressions.

"I was just... hoping to go out drinking tonight. I was pretty excited to get home quickly and get changed."

Max's concern melted into another happy smile. "Oh, that sounds like fun!"

"Really?!" (Reader) was sure that Max would lecture them on the dangers of public drinking, or the disturbing hygiene levels of pubs, which is why they wanted to sneak out in the first place. Max was an amazing friend. An understanding, ride-or-die kind of man, (Reader's) sidekick since middle school, extremely hot, and the only person (Reader) felt they could trust with (almost) any secret.

There was only one problem..

Max was controlling. He was never mean about it, and (Reader) never felt like their friendship was abusive, but he was so nervous about everything that (Reader) didn't have much of a social life outside of work and it was starting to drive them crazy. He even moved in to the apartment right next to (Reader) so that whenever they tried to go out without him, he always knew.

"Of course! Why don't you start heading home, and I'll go pick up some beers?"

(Reader's) heart sunk. "S-sounds good.." they feebly attempted to appear pumped, smiling while raising a fist.

Which is why (Reader) was now in their comfortable pajamas getting drunk on the floor in front of their couch, increasingly becoming more and more frustrated while their best friend watched TV, oblivious to (Reader's) bubbling anger.

The dumb comedy made Max chuckle, the booze turning him silly. Usually it was contagious, but at that moment his laughter grated on (Reader's) nerves.

Max finally got the hint that (Reader) might be upset when they loudly crushed their empty can in irritation. "What's going on down there, (Nickname)?"

"I wanted to drink at a bar." (Reader) grumbled, reaching for another drink.

"What? Why?" Max asked, honestly confused as to where this was coming from. "Bars aren't safe, especially for cute people like you. Do you know how many people only go to bars to try and take home drunk people?"

His words snapped (Reader's) patience. "That's what I was going for."

"What?!"

(Reader) jumped to their feet, exasperated. "Oh my GOD, Max. I have needs! I want to fuck, Max, I. Want. To. Fuck." They ran their hands through their hair, leaving Max shell shocked and bright red. "It's getting pathetic, like, really sad. I can't even masturbate, because I'm afraid you'll hear me through the walls."

They collapsed back onto their ass, hands covering their heated eyes.

"You've chased away everyone I've ever had a crush on. I've never had a real relationship. I'm still a virgin. I just wanted to go out and have fun..." (Reader) whined, almost on the verge of tears.

Max slinked off the couch towards (Reader's) curled up form, gently prying (Reader's) hands away from their eyes. "Why didn't you ever consider me?"

"What?" (Reader) pulled away, falling back onto their elbows as Max continued crawling over them.

"I spent so many years praying you would look at me like a man instead of just as your friend. If you were so pent up, why didn't you ever turn to me?"

(Reader) flushed, their dumb little drunk mind having difficulty understanding what Max was trying to say. "Y-you're only saying that because you're drunk." They stuttered, the feeling of their friend's breath tickling their lips making them squeeze their thighs shut instinctively.

"Do you remember, when we were in highschool, and you told me that you liked Robin? That less than average looking basketball player?" Max leaned in, trapping (Reader) with his arms as one knee forced apart their legs, pressing against their crotch. "Do you remember how hard I worked to constantly keep you two apart?"

(Reader) bit their lip to contain a moan. Why were they so turned on right now? They tried to convince themselves it was the alcohol, but the scent of Max's favorite aftershave was making them quiver.

"There's nothing embarrassing about being a virgin, (Reader).." Max tugged on their ear lobe with his teeth, "but if you want, I'll gladly take it for you."

Despite his words of consent, Max's lips were on (Reader's) before they could answer, hungry and dominating, tasting every corner of their mouth while he rubbed his knee against (Reader's) fully aroused sex.

Pulling back, Max smirked at the blushing mess under him, wiping some of (Reader's) saliva off his lip with his thumb. "I never wanted to be your friend." He pulled off his shirt, while smiling almost teasingly.

'This isn't like Max...' (Reader's) half gone mind puzzled. It was like he was possessed.

"Do you know how painful it was, being in love with someone as oblivious as you? How many times you would invite me to sleepovers, and I would spend the entire night watching you sleep?"

His large hands reached down to his zipper, drawing (Reader's) attention to the noticable bulge straining against his pants. "I wanted our first time together to be after you finally fell for me, but..." he pulled down the zipper, and released his erect cock out over the top of his boxers. "... I have the rest of our lives to make you love me."

(Reader's) eyes widened at the size. They hadn't seen a dick that big in real life before, their only frame of reference for erections being in porn. "I don't think that'll fit." They spoke quietly, almost in a whisper.

Max smiled wider, his eyes almost watering with how hot they had become. "It will if you make sure it's wet enough." And for the first time that night, (Reader) understood what Max was saying. They sat up, nervously bringing their face closer towards Max's exposed dick. With experimental touches, their fingers danced along his shaft. At first they were scared that in their drunkenness they couldn't make Max feel good, but soon what little was left of their mind was overcome by desire. (Reader) kissed the tip before thrusting Max's cock as deep into their throat as it could reach. They had imagined themselves doing this so many times that (Reader) thought they knew what to do, but the smell and taste, the building yearning in their groin, and his pleasured moans... There was so much happening all at once that it made it hard to focus on just sucking him off.

(Reader) looked up into Max's eyes, searching for approval, searching for a sign that they were doing a good job. Apparently looking up was the right thing to do, because Max cried out suddenly and pulled himself out of (Reader's) mouth. "God, you're so cute! I can't hold it anymore, (Reader)..."

Max stood to remove his clothes entirely, before getting back on his knees to tear off (Reader's) pajamas. As their pants came off, it was received that they hadn't been wearing any sort of undergarments, which made Max pause, eyes widening and scarlet face deepening.

"Is.. is something wrong?" (Reader) asked fearfully.

"You're more beautiful than I imagined."

As (Reader) soaked in his words, Max was already positioning his drool lubricated member against (Reader's) hole.

He slowly entered his best friend, and laughed as he felt their body swallow him up. "God, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do this!" The second he was fully submerged he began fucking (Reader) hard and fast, unable to hold himself back, especially when their pleased gasps and cries of pleasure sang from their lips unconstrained. (Reader) clawed at Max's back, not knowing where to put their hands but needing to touch him everywhere.

"Fuck, you look so sexy right now. I love you so much, (Reader)."

(Reader) felt their walls subconsciously constrict at Max's words. They thought about every single time they had ever noticed how attractive he was, and how they would chastise themselves for thinking about their best friend that way.

"I love you too."

Max leaned back, pulling (Reader) up with them as he continued pumping in and out of (Reader) like a machine. "Say it again."

Something was getting tighter in (Reader's) stomach, and they felt like it was going to pop.

"I love you too!"

Max's speed picked up, like a desperate animal. "Again."

"I love you, Max!"

A hot feeling spread throughout (Reader's) insides as Max came inside them, his thick cum triggering their own orgasm.

His hold on (Reader) did not loosen, keeping his grip cemented as though they would disappear if he let go. Even after (Reader) passed out he didn't pull out, simply lying back with (Reader) now on his stomach. Max finally had them, the person he had been head over heels for for the past decade. And as he fell asleep what replayed in his now sober mind wasn't how (Reader's) body felt on his, but their words, echoing on loop in his mind.

"I love you too!"

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

Emily x Reader after Reader has a sh relapse, Emily patches and her up and assures her she's still beautiful by slow, gentle, loving sex and lots of cuddling please?

You got it, anon! Thanks for the request! :) Hope you like it!

Burning

Emily Prentiss x fem!reader Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, NSFW, self-harm, depression, mental illness, sex, fingering, etc., injuries due to self-harm, brief mentions of an eating disorder, some explicit language (please let me know if I've missed anything!) Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: With Emily away on a case and a depressive episode hitting you hard, you fall back into a pattern you thought you'd kicked a long time ago. When she comes home and discovers what you've done, you're afraid it'll be too much for her. Emily does her best to show you that it's not.

You’d been standing in front of the bathroom mirror for what felt like hours, but was probably mere minutes. Time warped itself when the urges took hold, every second a lifetime of effort, until it became all the potential lives you might live stacked one on top of the other, and they were too heavy for you to carry.

The hand that held the unlit match was shaking, and you seesawed between the unbearable desire to scratch a painful itch and the knowledge that self-hatred that would flood you afterward. But at least the self-hatred and the pain would be something to feel, other than the abject hopelessness that had seemed to swallow you up over the last week.

You’d known a depressive episode was coming before Emily left. You could always feel them coming. But what were you supposed to say? Don’t go save people from a terrorist cell? Stay here with me because I’m scared I’m getting depressed and I need you? It’d be pathetic. You were pathetic. And it wasn’t Emily’s job to keep your mental illness at bay.

But she’d been gone longer than you expected–over a week now. And your depressive episode had hit you harder than you thought it would. You’d called out of work, you’d binged on food delivery, then hated yourself afterward, staring into the mirror feeling lower and lower and lower. Until the only way you could think to stop sinking was to shock yourself out of it.

You knew it wasn’t wise or healthy. You knew you’d feel even worse once the pain subsided. You knew that a relapse would make it that much harder to stop next time. You knew that if Emily was here, she would stop you, she would hide the matches and the lighters, she would be so, so sad that you’d even thought about hurting yourself.

But despite knowing all these things, the hunger for fire, for pain, was too much to resist. You scratched the head of the match against the matchbox and the flame leapt into existence. Your go-to spot in young adulthood had been your arms, but the burns wouldn't fade before Emily got back, and she’d notice them on your arms. This time, you held the match to the upper side of your abdomen, where your arms would hopefully hide the marks.

You scrunched your eyebrows and winced as the flame licked at your skin, the pain white and bright and hot. You wished you could explain to people that odd, addictive mixture of self-loathing and dopamine that hit you and made you feel simultaneously worse and better. You wished people understood the desire for it, that sometimes you wanted to feel worse because feeling worse made you feel better. But it was hard to explain. Even harder to understand. So you didn’t bother most of the time. You lit match after match until the box was empty, until your side was scattered with raised, red-white blotches, like a constellation of all the shitty things you’d ever been through or felt.

You looked at yourself in the mirror and hated what you saw. And it felt good to hate yourself, like a guilty pleasure.

You jumped at the sound of the apartment door opening and closing, and cold panic flooded your system.

“Hey, baby, I’m home!” Emily called from the entryway.

You quickly pulled a loose t-shirt over your head, wincing as the fabric brushed over the burns. She wasn’t supposed to be home yet. She hadn’t texted or called. She’ll hate me, you thought. She’ll hate me if she finds out.

Of course, Emily knew you struggled with self-harm. But you’d been in a really good spot when you’d started dating and had, for the most part, stayed in that really good spot for your entire relationship. You were in therapy. You had healthy coping mechanisms. You hadn’t relapsed in years. You didn’t know what had made today different from every other bad day in the last few years, but you knew you didn’t want Emily to know.

You silently cursed yourself for using all the matches; there were none left to light a candle in the bathroom to mask the scent of burning. You ran to meet her in the living room, hoping that by heading her off, the smell would have time to dissipate.

“Hi, honey,” you greeted her, forcing a smile. You took both her hands in yours to try and prevent her touching your side, which still felt as if it was on fire. You stood on tiptoes to kiss her, and she smiled, leaning in.

“I missed you,” she breathed, wrapping her arms around you. You flinched and inhaled sharply as her fingers grazed the burns.

She furrowed her eyebrows. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, avoiding her eyes. “I just, um… fell earlier.”

Her hands fluttered over you, a worried expression on her face. “You fell!? Where!? Like, how hard?”

“Not that hard,” you said, trying to squirm away. “It doesn’t hurt too bad. Ow!” Emily had placed a gentle hand at your side and you couldn’t help your outburst.

“Well, honey, if it hurts that bad, you need to let me see it. We might need to go to the ER or something.”

You knew you were done for when she grabbed your wrist, hard. Emily was much stronger than you, so instead of fighting, you went numb.

You felt your whole world stop as she lifted up your shirt to see the scattered burns. You felt tears prick at your eyes. There were too many marks, and they were too symmetrical to have been an accident. You knew it, and Emily knew it, too.

You couldn’t bring yourself to look at her, but if you did, you would have seen that her eyes were wet with tears she wasn’t going to let herself cry because you needed someone strong right now. If you’d looked at her, you would have seen a mixture of sadness and pity and heartbreak and undying love. You’d have seen the face of someone who wanted nothing more than for you to be okay.

“Y/N,” Emily managed after a moment. “Did you do this to yourself?”

You nodded, a tear rolling down your cheek.

“Today?”

You nodded again.

“How long ago?”

You looked at the ceiling, willing yourself not to cry. “Right before you walked in.”

You hated yourself. You hated yourself even more because you knew that Emily would feel awful. She’d think that if she’d just been a few minutes earlier, she could have prevented this. And you never wanted Emily to feel like your mental illness was her fault or her responsibility.

“Come here,” she said, gently taking your hand and guiding you to the bathroom. She turned on the shower, making sure the water was cool but not cold, then slowly pulled your clothes off. She nodded toward the shower and you got in, shivering under the chilly stream.

Emily sighed and sat down on the toilet lid, watching you. She looked tired, so tired. You hated to be another thing that exhausted her, another thing she had to take care of and fix.

“You should sit down,” she added quietly. “You’re gonna have to be in there for a while. Until they stop burning.”

You sat on the tiled floor, the water leaching the pain away from the burn marks, leaving only disgust and self-loathing in their place. You pulled your knees up to your chest and buried your face, trying and failing not to cry.

Your shoulders shook with the force of your sobs. You heard Emily stand and were sure she was going to leave. Why wouldn’t she? She deserved to. She deserved not to have to deal with you.

You jumped a little as Emily lowered herself into the shower next to you, clothes abandoned on the bathroom floor, and wrapped her arm around your shoulder. She pressed her face into yours as the shower drenched you both.

“Shh,” she soothed, careful to avoid your burns. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

“I’m sorry, Em,” you wept, rocking. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she repeated. “You don’t need to be sorry. I love you. You’re gonna be okay.”

“I hate myself,” you whispered.

Emily gently grabbed your face and tilted it toward her. There were tears in her eyes, too. “Baby, please don’t say that.”

“I can’t help it.” Your voice was so quiet, so small, the sound of the shower almost drowned it out.

“That’s okay,” Emily said, brushing strands of wet hair out of your face. “We’re gonna get you some help, okay?”

You looked in her eyes then for the first time since she’d discovered the burn marks. You didn’t know what you’d expected to see: annoyance, disgust, hatred, or worst of all, ambivalence. But there was none of that in Emily’s eyes. Only love and concern.

Even so, you were scared to ask what you needed to ask. “Do you still love me?”

“Oh, honey, of course I do. I could never stop loving you.”

And then you kissed her. You kissed her with the cool water pouring down around your bodies. With your skin hot from the burns and from your aching love for Emily. You kissed her desperately, hungrily, like someone clinging to a lifeboat, and Emily was. She was your lifeboat. And for Emily’s part, she was gentle, almost too gentle, as if you might break at any moment.

You wrapped your legs and arms around her and she held you so carefully, so mindful of your burns. You shuddered in the cool water as your hips pushed against her.

Emily moaned into your mouth, her hands faltering for a moment.

“Y/N,” she said breathlessly, pulling away to hold your face in her hands. “We don’t have to do this." She looked at you a moment longer, then added, "I love you.”

You kissed her again. Her mouth. Her forehead. Her collarbone. Emily’s chest heaved into you and your heart beat rapidly.

“Please,” you begged. “Show me.”

Emily pulled you into her, letting her tongue and her lips roam over your neck, letting her hips meet yours as the water surrounded you, soothing your burns the way Emily soothed the roiling, burning despair inside of you.

“I love you,” she whispered as she kissed your eyelids. “I love you,” she whispered as she pressed her hands into the soft flesh of your ass. “I love you,” she whispered as she slipped her fingers inside of you. You bit back a moan and trembled against her, your body pulsing around her.

She fucked you slowly, tenderly, as if it was both your first time and your last, though this was neither. And she kept saying it–“I love you”–again and again, never stopping, so that all the darkness in your mind, all the self-doubt, didn’t have any room to make itself heard.

You let out a strangled groan as your body tensed around her, and when your pleasure flooded you, it was like you were on fire. And this fire was so much better, louder, brighter, than any flame you’d ever held to your body. It was a burning that consumed you, one that would leave you new and glistening afterward instead of scarred and in ashes.

You fell limp against her as she removed her fingers, kissing your forehead, your collarbone, your mouth, swirling her tongue with yours until you felt drunk on her. “I love you,” she said, and you didn’t think you’d ever get tired of hearing it. “I love you.”

You were quiet as she turned off the shower head. Quiet as you both dried off, as Emily gently pressed a towel to your side, making sure your burns were clean and dry. She sat you on the toilet lid as she pulled gauze squares and antibacterial ointment out of the bathroom cabinet, spreading the ointment on the gauze, then pressing it gently to your skin.

“Lift your arms up,” she said quietly, as she circled your body with bandages, wrapping it just tight enough that it wouldn’t shift in the night.

She knelt down in front of you and caressed your face. “Bed?” she asked. You nodded.

“You go ahead,” she said, patting your leg. “I’ll be right there.”

You felt self-doubt start creeping back in as you laid in bed on top of the covers, your burns still too hot to sleep underneath. When Emily came into the room, she carried a glass of water and a bottle of pills.

“Take these,” she told you, handing you a few. You drank and swallowed obediently.

She lay down in the bed and motioned you over. “Come here and let me hold you.”

You rested your face in the crook of her neck, and she played with your hair, careful to avoid your burns.

“I love you,” she whispered after a few minutes, kissing the top of your head.

“You said.” You meant it to be funny, but your heart wasn’t in it. Not yet.

“And I’ll keep saying it until you believe it.”

You were quiet for a minute, then spoke. “I love you, too, Em.” You nuzzled your way closer to her, hoping against hope that her arms around you were enough to keep the darkness and the numbness away for the night.,

And as you drifted off, she kept saying it–“I love you.” And then a kiss on your head.

As your eyelids fluttered closed–“I love you.” And she pressed her face to your forehead.

As your breath slowed and evened, and your body went limp–“I love you. I love you. I love you.”

[lizzy019]

𝒞𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒶𝓂𝑜𝓃 𝑅𝑜𝓁𝓁?

Simon “Ghost” Riley x Plus-size Fem!Reader

cw -> insecurities, tough-love, oral (sixty nine), but a sweet ending :)

Word Count -> 1.4K

As a plus-size girlie, I genuinely wish I could get this, but no man likes a girl with stomach fat and it’s KILLING MEEE

This blasted mirror, you thought to yourself.

Hands scooping up your protruding apron belly with a sad expression, you look at yourself disapprovingly in the mirror as tears well up in your eyes.

Ugly, ugly, ugly! Your mind chanted in disregard of your mental health.

You didn’t care if people said, “Oh, but you have boobs!” or “Oh, but you have a full ass!” It wasn't about that anymore, you just wanted to feel pretty again. Like that young teenager who had no care for their looks, just getting good grades in school to finally have that dream job.

Now your job has you cooped up in your home all day, stress eating until you feel guilty and crying about it. It was pathetic.

You were pathetic.

Sniffles escaped you as you hid yourself in the baggiest clothing you had, frowning when you could still see the fat in your arms and the face fat that made you look old.

A knock at the apartment’s front door had you quickly wiping your tears in a hurry, trying to fix your breaths as you exited your room to go see who it was.

Opening the door to the apartment, you’re met with the familiar white skull mask and stocky body that you’d swooned over the first time you saw him.

“Simon!” You smiled, gently hugging him and allowing him inside. After months, he was safe and back home.

“Hey, luv. You gained weight?” He responded, dropping his duffel bag and eyeing you closely.

You winced at those words.

“Are you high or somethin’? Why’re your eyes all red and puffy?” He asked.

This had you freeze up, giving a nervous chuckle as you played with the hem of your sweatshirt.

“No no, I’m not high, I promise. Just tired.” You lied as smooth as you could, gesturing to the kitchen for him to go and get food.

Even if Ghost could tell you were lying from the way your body language was all closed off, he didn’t wanna dig and hurt you. So he just trudged to the kitchen for food and let you be.

The rest of your evening was spent in the bathroom, eyeing the laxatives you bought to thin yourself out with skepticism. While you wanted to take them, you didn’t know how they’d make your system react.

A waste of money, you thought to yourself.

But working out was a waste of time when bills had to be paid and the house needed cleaning, or family needed help, or groceries had to be done.

It was all too much, and you found yourself silently beginning to sob again.

Hands holding the disgusting fat at your abdomen, you curled up on the tiled floors and weeped. How could Simon deal with you? How could he want to be proud of you? Was he lying? Pitying you?

Ghost could hear the sounds from the living room, but he paid no mind to it. You never handled crying in front of others well anyway.

11:30 at night, Simon stripped bare in front of you as you hesitated strongly to take off your own clothing.

You felt bad for so many reasons, the two most severe ones being that you were scared he’d judge you and make cruel jokes about the pounds you’d gained, but also not taking your clothes off and making him upset or frustrated.

Ghost’s hands didn’t even let you choose, your shirt came off within a few seconds and so did your pants and panties.

Mortification crossed you instantly, and you wished you could run back into the bathroom, lock yourself away and rot. It’s the only thing you could do better than stuffing your face full of food.

Ghost got into position, and you felt awful when he got on top of you instead of you usually getting on top of him.

Flimsy cock at your mouth, you gently put it into your lips and began to work on what he’d pleaded for upon return. His own mouth attached itself to your core, but you weren’t wet. You couldn't focus on enjoying the pleasure when everything else was pulling you away from it.

Regardless, everything kept going, even your mortification which refused to leave. You were just too self-conscious, too fearful of his true reaction and anxiety creeping up because he hasn't said anything about it yet.

Once Ghost was good and hard, he moved once again into a missionary position and grabbed some lube and a condom, rolling the latex on first before lubing up your entrance. His tip pressed your core before a sharp thrust was executed.

Only a soft whimper exited you from it, and this really gave Ghost the sign that something was up.

“Luv, what the fuck is up with you t’day? You’re actin’ all reticent and timid for no goddamn reason. Or is there a reason that you’re just not informin’ me of?” He asked harshly, his expression not visible through the dark fabric covering his face.

His question made you think hard. Should you tell him? Would he laugh at you? Simon wasn't exactly an understanding person, and he never comforted anyone properly. With a shaky sigh, you shrugged.

“You said it yourself earlier, I gained weight. I tried not to, but I don’t have time anymore to be physically active asides small walks, it’s pissing me off and I understand if you think it’s not as attractive anymore-”

“Who the fuck told you that I said somethin’ as stupid and jacked up as that? Holy shit, is that all you were pissin’ yourself over? A few extra pounds?” He almost raised his voice, almost.

Reluctantly, you nodded your head and winced a bit.

He sighed heavily, his hands coming to pin down your wrists as he gently kissed your cheek. You were confused, what was happening here?

“Luv, you don’t gotta worry about my preference on your body. You’re you, you took me in and loved me in a way no one else chose to, I’m not in it for your body, I’m in it for you.”

This made your eyes water out joyful tears, this wasn’t something you heard on a regular basis, much less from someone who was way out of your league.

You gave a soft nod, and this made him fully begin to thrust into your core. That was what made you erupt in little moans, you just needed to be properly consoled.

Simon however, was going absolutely feral for the little jiggle in your tummy, the bouncing of your breasts, and the way your thighs happily squished against the mattress’ fabric.

“Yeah, that’s my good girl. Takin’ it so well, you like it? You like how my cock’s stretching this tight lil’ cunt open? Yeah, yeah you do.” He smiled softly under his mask, lightly degrading you with praise built in as he answered for you.

You were too blissed out to have even heard it.

A climax was nearing, and he moved himself into a mating press to violently assault your dripping cunt while pinning your soft body down against his.

“Simon! Gonna cum..!” You mewled out, hands clasping his shoulders before you finally spasmed and seized just to release all over his hard length.

This alone had him gasping for air, his thrusts heavy and desperate as he kissed all down your neck, sucking the skin to make hickies, before he couldn't continue it anymore.

“Fuck, I’m cumming, I’m cumming- shit!” He moaned out, ceasing all movements to fully release into the condom.

Huffs were the only thing you two heard for a good few moments, taking off his mask in totality to show his full submission to your trust.

Those pretty brown eyes and blonde lashes, lovely scarred cheeks and little amount of blonde stubble on his jaw and chin. Chapped lips and pinky nose. He was handsome, you felt like he could get any woman if he tried.

“Stupid British.” You teased, kissing his lips innocently before you two moved to get under the blankets to rest.

Ghost’s hands came to rub the pudge of your stomach, eyes soft as he looked at it with adoration.

“You’re like a cinnamon roll.” He murmured.

“Cinnamon roll?!” You exclaimed, laughing and kissing his cheek. “You goof.”

Ghost chuckled dryly, kissing your forehead before pulling the blanket to cover your shoulders to stay warm.

“Sleep well, cinnabon.”

[suspiciouslypinkrosegarden]

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡Armin x Reader⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

Description: You and Armin exchange comfort, taking place somewhere after Eren's physical fight with Armin while he is still healing. While dwelling on past events, Armin joins you and the two of you share some emotions. This does ignore timeline accuracy as I wanted to provide some care for Armin following him getting rather beat.

The relationship between the reader and Armin is left more undefined, as I wanted to allow in a broader audience. This goes out to everyone who feels they grew up with the characters.

The two of you sat side by side now, on the floor in front of the fireplace. It was silent aside from the crackling of the burning wood, and it would have been dark if not for the orangey glow cast upon the common space. 

At first you were alone, staring at the dancing flames with a sense of melancholy. In a way, you felt a kinship to the burning cedar, the fire licking at its unmoving form until there was nothing left but ash. Once an element strong enough to build homes with, now becoming a pile of dust. The wind could just as easily blow you away in this miserable state, going over memories from the cadet corps and early scouting years. You envied Marley’s photograph technology, memory foggy recalling old faces of your fallen comrades. 

Armin was quiet as he approached and sat beside you, and you wouldn’t dare make him feel that his presence was unwelcome in your turmoil. You also wouldn't dare to further question the remnants of fast healing wounds upon his face from his recent encounter with Eren. Instead, you leaned into him selfishly, your head resting on his right shoulder as the two of you faced the fire. In the late hour of the night, you both found your eyelids heavy with sorrow instead of sleep. He gently nudged you, and you turned to look up at him. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

His voice was soft and full of care. 

“I’m just…thinking. About everything. Old memories, mostly.”

He did not push further, knowing what it meant to mull over all of the past events in your mind. As the stars took their rightful place in the sky, the pain of change and loss caught up to you soldiers, unable to forever outrun the weight of grief alone with your thoughts at night. And it would still follow you underneath daylight of course, chasing you through the world of wonders you were denied inside those walls. Your chest sank with a breath as you felt the pain now, as if someone stuck their hand in and gave that precious beating organ a squeeze. There was a fault in your breathing that Armin could hear, the unmistakable sound of someone trying not to cry. 

The man beside you was quick to act, gentle as he gave you space. Armin had a look about him, one of guilt or shame, as if he felt it was a sin that he didn’t know what to do in order to comfort you, to save you. It was you who felt truly guilty though, for somehow hoping his presence could blind away the devil on your back by enveloping you in his bright sunlight. As if he could turn all of the leaves killed over the long years into fresh greens, simply by not leaving you to be alone with your sadness. You must have been a pathetic sight, and you felt sheepish to not stand tall and kind in front of him when he was also hurting beyond measure. As his hand then found yours, it grounded you as you let him see you this vulnerable. You then began to distract yourself with thoughts of him as he enveloped your space and your senses, his hand warm and firm in yours as he again inched closer. 

Armin was… special, and his appreciation for the beauty of life drew you closer to him with a magnetic pull. You understood Eren’s old pedestal for his friend, the awe and wonder in Armin’s eyes unreplicable, him acting as a reminder for your tired heart to keep beating in order to see what the world had to offer. Here, by his side so close, you wished you could simply rub against him and take with you his magic that is human hope. You clung to him as his friend not only for your shared qualities, but because he felt like what you needed in order to survive your darkest days. 

As he grew taller and Eren strayed, Armin’s eyes were dimming with the beginning of manhood. However, that still never changed the way you saw him and his nature. You really couldn’t picture him blooming underneath anything other than the sun’s light, a strong stalk constantly absorbing what the world had to offer like a sunflower. You only wished he had better soil to stand on as he matured. You only wished that things could be better for both of your sakes.

Your gaze lingered upon his face that should have still been dramatically bruised after Eren’s beating, if it weren’t for his titan aiding in his healing. He awkwardly smiled at you as you studied him, shifting as if self conscious. You decided to bite the bullet and ask about his feelings, turning the conversation away from yourself. 

“Sorry for all this. I’d really rather hear how you’re doing right now, Armin.”

There was a silence as he sat there looking at you, and you gave his hand still in yours a light squeeze. 

“There’s not much to say, I guess. I’m…hurt. I can’t believe Eren would say those things, or do those things.” 

His blue eyes rippled with emotion. 

“Say what things..?”

“He said he had always hated Mikasa. So I punched him.”

“Oh…so that’s how-”

“Yeah. That’s why I’m currently waiting for my titan abilities to fix me up.” 

You didn’t know how to respond to his comment regarding Mikasa. You didn’t have to guess that she must be heartbroken right now in her own right too, briefly imagining her sadness under the cover of the darkness of her room. After all she had done for Eren, that’s how he treated her?

“Why would he say something like that?” you said a bit angrier than you meant to. 

Armin sighed gently before responding with an “I don’t know.” 

In your dismay, unable to fully grasp the weight of comprehending the changes your old friend was going through, you decided to continue to reach out to the one directly in front of you. Your free hand lightly touched a bruised spot on his right cheek, and it was unusually hot to the touch as it healed. You looked at him desperately, as if he’d change under the light of the full moon too. 

“Are you in a lot of pain, Armin?” 

You lightly fussed over him, examining his face. He did not stop you, no matter how embarrassed his expression seemed to show he was. Your eyes mulled over his features, and he felt himself burning up under your caring scrutiny. 

Armin’s signs of aging were the easiest to recall of all the guys, going from a soft, rounder face to having a slightly more defined look. However, that wasn’t to say he lost his prettiness for a traditionally “chiseled” appearance, still adorning a button nose and fuller cheeks. While he couldn’t pass for a double of the cutest girl in the previous squad anymore, he was certainly tender in his looks. He broke the silence again as your fingers grazed over bruised skin.

“No, I’ve been in worse pain. I’m just upset.”

“Rightfully so.”

You dropped your hand from his face, watching as Armin’s expression changed to a gentle plea of sorts. 

“Let’s not talk about this anymore. I don’t think I can keep…talking about this. Please don’t tell the others what I said either for right now, we don’t need more conflict. We’ve got to keep it together to keep fighting.”

In the quiet, your “ok” was all he needed to feel respected. You took initiative to gain back your previous closeness, leaning on him once again. Your head found his shoulder once more as you again switched conversation topics, urged on by the feeling of his newfound broader nature. You felt like telling him every first thought on your mind, as if losing a basic conversational filter.

“When did you become a man, Armin? Your shoulders were smaller when we were cadets.”

His laugh was clumsy, not forced per se, but a quick reaction to a strange question. He suddenly paused for a deep inhale, then exhale, as if gathering thoughts. 

“You don’t have to keep deflecting the conversation away from yourself, you know. I came in here to check on you, but you’re making it all about me.” 

“I’m…technically not deflecting right now. I was thinking about everyone we’ve lost and how we’ve all changed so much when you sat next to me. Then, looking at what Eren did to you… I guess I just never stopped to appreciate the good changes you’ve undergone. I think Eren’s changes for the worse scare me into not seeing what’s right in front of me. Thank you for surviving with me.”

It was here that you could tell Armin felt his familiar shyness creeping in, unsure of how to truly respond to the new conversation you were starting. You ran around him in circles here, it already feeling gauche to comfort you. He’d never admit the pressure of yearning for your approval in particular, tip-toeing around his discomfort with the topic of his own survival.   

“I…am happy to be by your side.”

You sighed comfortably, deciding to talk about yourself as he seemed to have wanted.

“To…talk about earlier a bit more. I miss everyone we lost in Trost and after. I miss laughing with Sasha and Connie together, and I even miss the warriors when they pretended to be our friends. If we had those…cameras…that Marley has, I could remember exactly how Mina and Thomas looked still. It just sucks, all of it. I am…scared to lose you. I am scared you’ll change too, that you’ve already stopped seeing the world in so much color with everything happening.”

Armin thought for a moment, wishing to give you a solid response. He was, in fact, emotional too as he heard you say these things about how he saw the world. He couldn’t remember exactly when he last spoke to you about something he was excited to experience, more focused on battle plans in a fight for survival. 

“I don’t think I ever stopped seeing the world in color, maybe. It’s more that I wish we could collect those colors and form rainbows, not wars.”

You remained quiet as you thought his statement sounded poetically cheesy, but good for what you needed to hear at this moment. His brain always seemed to translate the world as if pages in a book, inking those words into your tired mind as they left his mouth. He awkwardly glanced at you, giving you a reminder to react to what he had just said.

While you wouldn’t say Armin was the type to actively ask for external validation from others, you could always tell it’s what he craved in moments like this. To be told his words weren’t strange, to be reminded his presence was welcome and that he wasn’t out of place in the emotional space between you two. As he looked at you, you pondered on his silent plea for…something. 

“Can I hug you, Armin?” 

He did not falter, his cheeks a dusty pink as his eyes filled with tears. He moved closer on instinct as he answered. 

“Yeah...”

And as the walls around you built by age seemed to crumble down, you found yourself face to face with that familiar boy from all of those years ago. You saw it now, the salty air rippling through his long blond hair, water the shade of his eyes slipping through the cracks between his fingers on that special day. You couldn’t tell who reached out for the physical comfort offered first, crashing into each other as if by the pull of the moon. Your old friend gathered you into his arms in a swift motion. At the same time, you offered him shelter from the roaring tides in yours. Armin’s familiar nature was not lost in the sea of emotions shared tonight, but found. You felt his arms squeezing tightly around your torso as you did the same to him, the tickle of his nose in the crook of your neck as he buried his face close. You both clung to each other as if buoys in the middle of all that blue, promising to always be there to help each other stay above ebb and flow of the current. 

[dreamwritersworld]

Hey! I don't know if you’re accepting any requests; if not, you can just ignore this. But i wanted to ask if you could do headcanons on how the sully family was after the reader died in ‘the perfect child’? I’m craving more angst and I love that story so much! 😭

Omg! This is an amazing idea! 💓 I appreciate you reaching out! This does include extras of younger Y/n as well :( which will honestly probably make you very sad cause ugh my heart breaks for her 🥲

The perfect child. Extra. (Sully family x reader)

Nothing hurt the family more than Y/n’s death.

Neytiri dealt with her death the hardest, she was so angry. Her daughter was always willing to put her life on the line because she was trained to…trained by Jake. It’s wrong yes, but it doesn’t mean the memories of Y/n’s worried face doesn’t haunt Neytiri in her dreams..

*

They were in the forest.. Neytiri watched y/n cry and the young girl could feel her stares so she slowly turned around

"don't stare at me like that! cause l'm not a child! I grew up faster than other people, I didn't need a stupid stuffed toy!"

Suddenly the dream went black and eight year old Y/n was standing right in front of Neytiri with cuts and marks on her hand from training so long as tears were falling down her eyes...

Jake's speeches about her having to ‘win’ and be perfect could be heard in the background as Y/n slowly went down to her knees that were already marked up from crawling and hunting in small spaces.

“…please look at me! I'm begging you mama! Don't stop being my mother!"

The yelling of Jake got louder as he began walking towards them and picking up Y/n dragging her away while she struggled to get out of his grip to reach her mother.

"Mama?"

Y/n's cries for help was disoriented like it was hurting her to speak

"Mama, no! Please! Please I’m tired! No more training! No!Stop this please! Stop it now!"

*

Then it was over.

For the first time ever, Neytiri woke up in sweat..her body was heated and she felt ill, turning over and running out the home to throw up..

After awhile she just sat and thought..thinking about the reason as to why her nightmare had y/n with wreaked hand so much that blood was coming out from the deep cuts...

*

Neytiri looked around for her eldest wondering if she could take care of Tuk for a moment and when she did find Y/n…her heart shattered into pieces.

She saw a site of Y/n shooting her arrow repeatedly, quickly beating her speed every time landing precisely..but at what cost? Y/n had a hitched breath as she felt the blood drop down from her fingers that were cut from hours of practice against the bow’s string.

That’s the first time Neytiri realized her child was ok in hurting herself if it meant she’d get her fathers approval

“Y/n!”

The teenager immediately put down her bow, hiding her hands behind her back, sending a smile to her mother

“Show me.”

“..what?”

“Show me.”

Y/n’s heart panicked at the thought of her mother finding out the overworked hours she does for training..instructions straight from her father

“You hurt yourself? Show me. Now.”

The teenager looks down slowly pulling out her hands in defeat..this was normal wasn’t it..? Training like this was normal?..

Neytiri knew Y/n’s thoughts..she knew it was implented in her mind that doing this was normal. However if Y/n felt it was normal … why hide it? Unless she felt slightly guilty..

It’s very true. Y/n felt guilty…not because she trained herself into bleeding..no not that. She felt guilty because no matter the hours she does..she’ll never be perfect and she was scared her mother would think it’s pathetic.

“how long have you been doing that?”

“Mom, I don’t want you to cry. I’m ok-“

“I don’t understand?! Why? Why would you do that to yourself? Is it me? Is it because of me?”

“No mother of course not-“

“Is it your father? He’s hard on you, I know that. I tried to keep you from it! I’ve tried to protect you. I’ve only ever wanted to protect you!”

“Please mother, it’s not because of that, I’m just training and I bleed by accident.”

Neytiri knew there was no changing Y/n mindset. She was so stuck on it being normal that…it was considered and accident.

“My beautiful girl…my special miracle baby girl…why? Why would you do that?”

“…i didn’t mean to…i wanted to stop but I need to get better mother-“

Neytiri got up to hug her child that was holding in tears seeing her mother cry

“…i am so sorry that i missed this…I’m just so sorry Y/n for everything..give it to me. Ok? You give all that pain and stress to me. I Can handle it…”

Y/n struggled to hold in tears in her mothers arms feeling overwhelmed...

*

See…a mothers love was like no other. Y/n was absolutely broken, and Neytiri broke with her knowing there was not much she can do for the damage was already done..

Jake listened to the wind blow knowing his wife was outside..his heart hurt. His “strong heart” felt empty and broken..he and Y/n had a strong relationship when they were younger ..something like he had with Kiri and tuk now. Yet he failed to maintain it because he was too stupid to notice how he was overworking his kid.

His heart had some kind of longing that he wished he was able to fix if he has just listened to Neytiri soon..if only he had just let her finish the heart breaking story of Y/n training so hard she’d hurt herself..

*

Neytiri’s pleads started when she noticed her husband walking out the home at the usual training time.

“No Jake you can’t! You cannot do this to her! Please stop training.”

Jake couldn’t hear it anymore, not when he knew Y/n was slacking and sleeping at their training spot waiting for him…exhaustion and for what? She never trained…or at least that’s what he believed.

“Neytiri please. Stop. You will not prevent her from practicing. She needs to get better-“

Jake turned his back to Neytiri waving off a hand like he was telling her ‘whatever.’

“Jake! You walk out that door and make our daughter train one more time today and I will not. hesitate to take our children tonight..you can decide the rest.”

Her husband turned harshly to Neytiri’s threats. He figured if he just listened to her for a little then she’d give up on whatever fight she was holding against him so Y/n couldn’t go to practice.

“…I can’t sit by and watch this destroy my child anymore. You can’t steal her passion. You can’t steal her self confidence. My lines been crossed. Your approval isn’t worth it for her and it’s definitely not for me.”

Jake closed his eyes in order to calm himself and settled on the fact that Y/n wouldn’t practice…at least not today.

-*

Seeing Y/n happy during her younger days felt like a fever dream and her death plays over and over in his head…he wished and wished on a shooting star that he can relive the moments they shared before she passed…they were supposed to go flying the next day..the day she died.

The reason why Jake wanted to make Y/n strong and fearless was because he saw the fear in her eyes at a young age…so much desire to travel the forest but absolutely shaken up by a moment they both were vulnerable in..

*

Typically they were never in the dangerous areas but Y/n had wondered off and Jake found her in a ship that was once used for the old war against the sky people.

“Y/n what are you doing here?! You are not allowed in these areas do you read me?!”

The child gently tugged her father in the large abandoned ship, ignoring his instructions…at this time she was just 4.

“Sully’s stick together daddy! That means you have to follow me!”

The young girl giggled while Jake admired the child who was amazed by the ship but he knew it was only a matter of time before they must go.

“This was used during the war..”

Y/n didn’t quite understand what that meant but the warrior equipment always amazed her.

“…ok we should get going kid-“

A thantor had rushed in head first straight to the ship and Y/n’s shrieking could be heard..her fear and the thantor could smell it.

Her terror gave it more energy as it shook the ship again and Jake held onto Y/n, looking everywhere to escape.

That was until the Thantor hit the ship so hard both of their heads hit into a thick material and they passed out.

10 minutes had past and the thantor wasn’t giving up..Y/n had woke up before Jake. Her heart skipped a beat seeing its claws finally break through the thick metal. She immediately shook her father, searching for his protection.

“Daddy? Hey. Hey!”

That moment was absolutely horrifying, she didn’t know if her father was even alive from the hit…it was all her fault.

“…what?”

Jake woke up deranged confused and forgotten on his surroundings..

“Get back baby, get back.”

Y/n closed her eyes and curled into herself while Jake stabbed at the claws of the animal harming it, making it easier to kill with a bullet. He went through the other side and when he saw Y/n..saw the way she cried, how her body shook, the silent and muffled whimpers from her covering her mouth…it was enough to make him upset. He was mortified.

“I’m here baby! Cmon! Let’s go now.”

Y/n couldn’t move…Jake couldn’t snap her out of it..she almost died, and for a small moment she believed her father died.

Eclipse approached right in that moment and Jake’s fear for Y/n grew larger…

“You have to be strong Y/n…cmon let’s go now! It’s dark and more creatures are coming.”

His patience was running up while he heard raspy howls like the ones he met on his first night in the forest and that’s when adrenaline rushed through him..he didn’t even realize the bruise and blood forming on her small leg from hitting into the ships wall.

His arm reached out for her but Y/n put him to a stop

“I can’t! I can’t! My leg hurts! Daddy help me!”

Jake yanked her up and pulled her over his shoulder as he ran through the forest all, he thought about was how it was his fault she didn’t know how it was in the real world.

-*

Jake had never seen that type of fear ever again…not until her last moments.…inside she was screaming, feared, holding those same exact eyes as she did when she was younger…

Yes, her parents had a difficult time..but there was a particular sibling who stayed up listening to the way his mother rapid movements to get fresh air out the house or the way his father had a hitched breathing … the same one Y/n had during her last breaths..almost like he was unintentionally mimicking it while he thought about her death.

Neteyam was Y/n’s closest sibling. He knew never to poke her, interrupt her during training or question her all the time the way Lo’ak did. Y/n understood where Neteyam stood perfectly..the younger sibling the second eldest who took at least a small portion of the blame when it came to Lo’ak and the rest of the kids troubles…but now he was the eldest and there was a small fear of him having the same pressure and weight Y/n had.

He’ll never forget watching his parents clean her body..seeing how his father could no longer hide his emotions, sobbing. He will never forget the way Neytiri held Y/n’s face begging for her eyes to open and look up at her again.

Neteyam knew her death traumatized him but not the way it did to his younger brother. Neteyam turned to Lo’ak hearing him shift repeatedly in his sleep as his hands curled in creating a grip…

Lo’ak couldn’t sleep properly not without Y/n’s death replying in his head…while he slept his body would repeat the same actions it did when he was holding down to Y/n’s wounds absolutely disassociated. Lo’ak was the only one who saw her hidden in the forest when he heard her calling. It was obvious to him that it was no longer her, something took over her…she wasn’t thinking clearly..not when she saw them tied up. When she died he didn’t even bother cleaning the clothes that had her blood on it..he threw it out. As much as he teased Y/n..Lo’ak loved her and that was his way of showing it. Mean? Yes. But nothing would get through Y/n, no matter how much small comments he made it never made her realize how she needed to get loose and forget her fathers instructions every once and awhile.

His teasing never stopped Y/n from doing the same, there was rare moments but she’d alway get back at him with a joke. Surprisingly Y/n was the funniest out of everyone, she didn’t say much either but when she did it made everyone laugh. The way the two siblings joked was their love language to each other…

Kiri and Y/n had a very different relationship from the two boys who she spent most of her time with. Kiri had very few moments when Y/n was vulnerable with her but she saw right thought her.

all she wanted was to have everything her siblings had..

not expecting to be perfect all the time.

being able to mess up.

being comforted when messing up.

being able to forget training.

never thinking their father is going to hate them.

not expecting to win all the time.

not seeing everything as a competition.

Kiri understood Y/n fully, she got upset at her father every time he made her cry. In fact Kiri always cheered her mother on when she defended Y/n. Even In the toughest moments Y/n didn’t cry…she was seen as perfect. A tough strong girl. Is she though? Is she as strong as she poses to be? She isn’t. She isn’t allowed to show her emotions because she will be seen as weak. But from Kiri’s point of view Y/n was very independent, she admired it. The clan considered Kiri strange since the day she was born but Y/n made sure no body would get to her.

All three siblings always wanted to beat the ‘favorite child’ but it wasn’t until now they realized Y/n was just who got caught in the crossfire of their parents fear of losing their child. There was a reason why her parents put so much pressure on her and it’s because she was their first child, she made Neytiri a mother and made Jake more responsible. They obviously didn’t know weather their choice for her were wrong or right, but in those moments it felt necessary, they believed if they made her strong she’d protect herself and the family.

Tuk however…she didn’t see Y/n as the favorite…maybe she was her favorite sibling! But she was not her fathers favorite or her mothers favorite. Tuk never quite understood her parents relationship with Y/n, thought she never paid any attention to it. The little girl did know that she got annoyed anytime she was yelled at and would still take the blame…In the background of y/n’s punishment you can hear Tuk’s little voice telling her father she didn’t do anything wrong! Tuk never failed to make Y/n laugh and they’d have the best time when Y/n took care of her..

Both sisters, Kiri and Tuk laid in Y/n’s hammock that night. They were tucked and tangled in the same way they were when they witnessed Y/n die. Sometimes the memories play quickly out of nowhere in their head..they would see the panicked looked on everyone faces..hear Y/n’s hushed words.. see the damp soil soaked in their sisters blood.

The entire family was hurt by her death but they knew one thing that Y/n always made clear.

“Sully’s stick together”

!💞!

Tag list: @noodlesfics @eywas-heir @itshype @zatarias-pandora @yeosxxx @arminsgfloll @tsireyak @neteyamforlife @aimsro @elegantkidfansoul @goodiesinthecloset21 @nikotokitaswife @bucky1235 @detectivesparrow @kikosaurscave @ssc7514 @simp-erformarvelwomen @eirianna @ambria @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @lv9su @luciddasher @dakotali @httpjiikook @tainted-artist4161 @fanboyluvr @bat1212 @mxn14 @innersuitcasehairdoscissors @ducks118 @midnightliacr @osakis-gf @onetwo123three @briannalarae @thirsty4nonlivingmen @historygeekqueen @abbersreads @eskamybeloved @hoodiepandaninja16 @valovesyou @silentlyswimming @r3dc4ndy @onlytays @papichulo120627 @tsamiaxo @wwwellacom @dotheyevenknowmars @midgetpottermills @he110hon @kodzukenwhore @minkyungseokie @sophiasleeps

[aothotties]

Drunk Texting

Heyyyyy! Im Rachel, the other half of AOTHOTTIES. Like she said this is very much 18+ so minors DNI :)

I hope you enjoy this fic about your ex, Connie drunk texting you :)

CW: NSFW, oral (f. receiving), lil bit of overstimulation, pet names (daddy,papi,mami,baby, etc), creampie <3

also all the stuff in italics is flashback :)))) & there is a tiny crumb of Spanish in this cause Connie is literally Dominican idc.

Bitch fucj yoi

I hat evrythif about u 

Baby plse i muss you sm

I nevrw ment the things isaid to you

Fine syipid bitvh dont reply i literlt dont care 

Thats why i fckd spooo many bitcjes since i lefy your sorry ass

Y/N please answer me

You stared blankly at the multiple texts you received from your ex, Connie. You knew he was drunk, it seemed to be the only thing he did since you broke up. Messages like this were a common occurrence at this point.

Constance, get a fucking grip please 

You get a gril. You mak me sivk

Im begging you to get yourself together 

Shut up

I missyou sobmuch

Y/N im sorry

You’re fucking pathetic

Mami….

Turning on DND, throwing your phone to the opposite end of the couch you decided you were done with this sorry ass conversation. This was every fucking day. Connie spends the morning completely unbothered by you but by nightfall, an influx of jumbled messages that get progressively worse as the night goes on. If you're lucky you'll get a 10-minute-long voicemail that ranges from sweet words of him expressing his love to you all the way down to him cursing your name as he explains how much he hates you. You understood the apologies and the million i-love-yous, you deserved it. You were the best thing to ever happen to him and you both knew it. It was the anger and hatred that got to you. It didn't hurt your feelings, but it pissed you off. How could he be angry when he's the one in the wrong? He was the one that hurt you and he didn't deserve to be angry, you did. 

“Why the fuck are YOU angry, dickhead. You make me so fucking mad”, you mumbled to yourself as you thought about the day you broke up

“Baby, text my mom and let her know i’ll meet her at the airport at 8am and remind her not to forget my passport this time. And do your best to say it in spanish you know her ass can't speak english”

You were sad your man was leaving you to go to DR but his grandfather had passed and he was going to his funeral and to spend time with his family. His parents invited you to tag along but you weren't able to get the time off work at such a short notice. 

“Ok so i tried my best but i promise you she probably will know its me trying to speak spanish”

You laughed as you placed his phone back on the charger next to you. He shrugged his shoulders and chuckled and he continued playing his game as you sat next to him watching him lose for the 3rd time

His phone dinged next to you. You picked it up assuming it was his mom, but it was from an unsaved number.

“ what she say?” he asked also thinking his mother had responded

“It's not her it's just a random number”“Who is it?”

“I don't know I'll look”

Papi, te extraño.

Y extraño el bicho que me diste la ultima vez

Your heart dropped into your stomach. You didn't speak Spanish, but he had taught you enough to understand exactly what was happening. You couldn’t believe what you were reading as you felt tears well up in your eyes. Before you could even speak another message came in. a picture of her ass in the smallest thong you’ve seen with “Connie ❤️” tattooed on the cheek. At this point you couldn't stop yourself from crying.

Remembering seeing that image on his phone brought you to tears. “Dirty cheating bastard” you mumbled while you got up to wash your face in the bathroom. You kept replaying that moment in your head no matter how much you hated it, it was a day you'd never forget.

“Connie what the fuck? Are you serious?” yelling as you tossed his phone at him. He paused his game and shot you a confusing look then you watched as a guilty look washed over his expression when he looked at the phone

“Mami please, i can explain”

“Nah. save it. Get all your shit and get the fuck out”

You unplugged his xbox and removed it from your dresser. You tore through every drawer grabbing anything that was his and tossed it directly at him 

“Y/N please listen to me. It's not what it looks like Y/N i promise you. Baby please, look at me, please listen”

His words went in one ear and out the other as pain boiled over into anger and rage. The closet contained most of his things and you yanked the door open and began tearing all his clothes off the hangars, some ripping in the process

“Oh my god, Y/N you have to hear me ou – “

“I don't have to hear shit” you cut him off not wanting to hear another word out his mouth. “What can you even tell me right now? You're just going to explain something I can clearly see. There’s some bitch in DR you fucked when you stayed with your grandparents over the summer. Right now, she's eagerly waiting on you, missing the dick you gave her last time.”

Connie looked shocked and sad at the same time. He’s never seen you so angry before, you've always handled your emotions so well but this was the first time seeing you completely blow up

“Oh you thought i wouldn't understand what she said?” you laughed in his face. “ i know enough to see you're a piece of shit, get your shit off the fucking floor and get out connie” you tried to walk out but he grabbed you and pushed you against the wall

“No Y/N let me explain,please” tears ran down his cheeks as he begged you to listen. You tried to squirm out of his grip but he was too strong

“ i don't want to hear –”

“No please listen”

There was no escaping his grasp and you found yourself stuck listening to what he had to say.

You stared at your pathetic expression in the mirror as water trickled down your face. Could you really be here crying over a cheater? Was it seriously still affecting you after 5 months? Defeated, you slid down the wall in the bathroom and pulled your knees to your chest. With your face buried in your hand the tears began spilling as you continued to relive one of the most heartbreaking moments of your life 

“Y/N i know it looks bad but this is a misunderstanding”

It made you sick just looking at him. A cheating piece of shit staring down at you trying to make up some lies to get him out of the situation. If it wasn't for him having you pushed up against the wall you would have walked out, not even caring to listen.

“Look ok, we broke up that summer, remember? And I was kind of upset, so  my uncle decided to take me out to clear my head and I met her at a club. Y/N i don’t even know her real name. She goes by a nickname and I never even talked to her enough to find out – “ he was interrupted by you getting even angrier than before.

“So you don't even know this bitch? You just stuck your dick in the first person you saw when you got there? And don't give me that “we broke up” bullshit, Connie we talked the entire summer you were there and you know this. You called me every day to tell me how much you miss me and couldn't wait to come back so we can work on ourselves, just for it to be lies. You obviously didn't miss me enough to stop fucking around.”

“This was before that, it was when I literally first got there. Before I called you that one night, remember when I called you and we spent the entire night on the phone? That's when we started talking again. I had met her before that night and it was dumb but yes, I slept with her. But it meant nothing baby i promise you”

He started crying again as he was explaining what happened. You felt nothing while watching him fall apart in front of you. Even though he was practically falling to his knees there was something in your gut that made you feel like this was so much deeper that what he tried to make it 

“It was still  wrong, connie!” ,you found yourself screaming at this point, “if you KNEW you were on the island fucking with someone why would you even call me again? You knew exactly what the fuck you were doing!”

“Y/N, please listen, it was nothing. It was a stupid summer fling –”

Just like that..he told on himself. The situation he tried to pass off as a one-time quick fuck was actually a long term fling that lasted the entire time he was on vacation. 

In that instance you felt your heart shatter into a million pieces. Tears began flooding from your eyes and you barely found the strength to whisper, “so it happened more than once?”

He swallowed hard before responding, “Yes Y/N, it did. And I know we were still talking but we still weren't technically together so i didn't think it was wrong. And she got the tattoo without even telling me, okay? She made it more important than what it really was. And when I came home I never spoke to her again. I can show you the messages i do not talk to this girl. I'm not even sure how she knows I'm coming again.”

With every word he spoke your heart broke more. He wanted to dismiss the situation and downplay it. This was obviously more than a summer fling to her and he must have given her reason to believe so. Connie was the love of your life and you never expected him to do something like this. You knew he was the one when you first met him. He treated you better than anyone ever had and no matter the ups and downs he was patient with you. He understood you were constantly at war with yourself, but he always calmed your storm and brought silence to your chaos. Yet here he was, standing in front of you, trying to justify infidelity. Anger arose in you again and you felt rage you've never felt before.

“Get your sorry ass out!”, you screamed as you slapped him across the face. He clenched his jaw and balled his fist and for a split second you though he was going to hit you back. But then he released the tension in his body and dawned a cold demeaner

“You know what Y/N, fuck you. And fuck this relationship. You're trying to make me the bad guy for acting single when i was….single. And as I'm here in front of you apologizing trying to show you that it was nothing, you act like the hard headed bitch you always are. I can't keep dealing with your bullshit, Y/N. so ill gladly get the fuck out because truthfully i fucking hate you.”

He grabbed your hand and slipped the ring off your finger then he turned to walk out of the closet as you stood there shocked. He had never spoken to you like this in the 4 years you were together. You had so much to say in that moment because how could he have the audacity to be angry right now, but you were unable to speak. You stood, dumbfounded, as you watched him grab his keys and walk out the door.

After that you didn't hear from him for 2 months straight. He reached out to you to genuinely check on you but in those months you had begun to heal and love yourself. You started therapy and worked closely with her to get over what he said and done. When you ignored the first message the angry, drunk, message started. 

You continued to sob on the floor. In these 5 months you gained so much strength, but you still had nights like this. Your broken heart still lingered no matter how much you thought you were over it and him. Every part of you still loved him and you wished you never saw the messages that day. You'd be married to the love of your life if you didn't. But instead of a happy life with him you were sitting on a cold floor crying so hard it was difficult to breathe. You decided to indulge in his coping mechanism. You pulled yourself up off the floor and went into the kitchen. You swung the freezer door open and grabbed the bottle of crown peach, it was his favorite and you avoided drinking it so as to not remind yourself of him. But you felt different tonight. In some sick way his favorite liquor made you feel as if you still had a part of him with you. The smooth liquor burned as you drank it straight from the bottle. As the liquor began coursing through your body you had an urge to text him. It was your turn to send the angry drunk texts and give him a taste of his own medicine. 

As you feverishly typed you heard your front door unlocking. Your best friend had a spare key but it wasn't like her to show up unexpected. You shrugged it off and locked your phone, taking her surprise visit as a sign you should just leave him alone. You heard footsteps through the hall that grew louder as they approached the kitchen. You turned to greet her but was shocked at the sight before. Connie, with bags under his eyes, was standing right in front of you, looking at you as if he’d seen an angel.  A few seconds of silence had passed as neither one of you knew what to say. A small part of you wanted to run into his arms, kiss him and tell him how much you missed him. But he cheated on you and told you he hated you. And he had to leave your house immediately.

“Connie leave. I forgot you still had your key, but you can leave it on the counter before you go”

There was no feeling in your voice and no expression on your face. You couldn't show him your hand and he had to believe you were over him. He started walking closer to you with tears pooling in his eyes.

“Y/N, i missed you so much. I'm sorry for barging in like this but I just had to see you.” words were spilling out of his mouth and he walked closer, “I'm a piece of shit okay? I know what i did was fucked up and not a day goes by that i don't regret it but baby i promise you she was nothing. I was wrong for being with her while promising you we’d get back together and I feel like such a dick. I hurt the only person I've ever loved and I'll never forgive myself for that but Y/N i can't stop loving you. I don't deserve it but please forgive me, please tell me you still love me as much as you did before this”, he sobbed, “i don't want to be with anyone else. I want you to marry me, Y/N. you're supposed to be my wife, we’re supposed to spend the rest of our lives together.” He reached in his pocket and pulled out the ring he had given you before. He grabbed your hand to put it on your finger but you pulled away. At this point you were crying too. Those are words you wanted to hear this whole time. You spent many nights crying into your pillow wishing he’d call you to say that exact same thing to you. You wanted to take him back but you knew better than to give in

“How can we be together again, Connie?”, you spoke through tears, “I'll never be able to trust you again. You broke me, and I don't know if I can forgive you.” 

He grabbed your hands, fell to his knees and looked up at you as he pleaded, “Y/N please! I need you, I can't go on without you. I'll apologize every day for the rest of my life so you’ll forgive me, mami please I'm so sorry. I never meant the things i said to you before i left, i could never hate you, mami, you're the love of my life. The drunk texts were stupid, and all lies. I haven’t been with anyone since you because I can't get you off my mind. Please, please give me another chance, baby i promise i wont fuck it up this time. Please, I'll do anything to get you to forgive me” his sobs were uncontrollable as he begged for your forgiveness.

You looked down at him as he begged and cried. Unsure if it was the liquor in you or the lack of dick since he left but you became aroused at the sight in front of you. This man looking so pathetic on his knees, crying and begging for you to be with him again made a pool of wetness form in your panties. You stepped closer to him until his face touched your pelvis and you quietly thanked yourself for not wearing pants. 

“Anything?’ you seductively asked. Connie grabbed your hips to pull you closer as he took a deep breath of your scent. A bulge formed in his pants as your sweet smell filled his nose. He began kissing your clothed clit. A soft moan escaped your lips from the pleasure and was in this moment you realized how much you missed having his face between your thighs. His tongue darted out of his mouth and he licked your cunt through your panties. You whined, desperately wanting to feel his tongue again.

Connie grew hungry and couldn't bother to take your panties off. He moved the soaked fabric to the side and attached his mouth to your swollen clit. You let out a high pitched “baby” as the pleasure consumed you. His tongue licked from your hole up to your clit then back down. He continued this as your moans grew louder. The sound of your wetness echoed through your kitchen and Connie's dick pressed hard against the fabric of his pants that were now wet from his precum. 

He started to fuck your hole slowly with his tongue and you moved you hips up and down, grinding yourself on his face. Connie knew you loved this and knew it would bring you to your peak.

“Mm papi, just like that. please don't stop” you begged as your budding orgasm came close to the edge. “Cum for me mami, right in my mouth," he responded between licks. You put your leg over his shoulder for balance as you drew closer to your climax. His hands squeezed your thighs as your cunt clenched around his tongue, he knew from that alone you were about to cum for him. “Fuck baby, im cumming ah –” you shivered as your cum spilled into his mouth. He licked your juices making sure to not waste a drop.

He stood up and crashed his lips on yours. Connie kissed you as if it were the first time, the passion was tense between the two of you. You missed each other and your bodies missed each other too. He grabbed your thighs and lifted you up. He started kissing the spot on your neck that he knew would make you melt. You threw your head back and moaned his name, knowing that would awaken the beast in him. He carried you to the room you once shared and laid you on the bed. You spread your thighs as he crawled between them. You could feel his dick pressing on your core and started grinding on him. 

“connie , i need it” you panted, grinding on him even faster.

“Un uh mami, you know you have to give me another one before i fuck you. Don't act like you forgot the rules”

He lifted your shirt and kissed from your neck to your chest. He brought his lips to your left nipple and pinched the right then switched to ensure they both got love. He planted kisses down your abdomen until he reached your cunt. He removed your panties wasting no time before latching again to your now sensitive clit. 

“Fuck mami you taste better than before. I missed tasting your sweet pussy every night” 

“ i m-missed squirting - mmm - on your face” you brokenly responded through your moans. You passed your fingers through his short silver hair, instinctively pushing his face deeper into your pussy. 

The overstimulation from his mouth was too much. “Connie baby! Too much – daddy please!” tears ran down your face as you squirmed under him. Your thighs tried to close to escape the stimulation, but he pinned your thighs to the mattress, “you can do it mami, one more time, just for papi. Can you give me another, princess?”, he slid his fingers in your cunt and curled them to hit your g-spot. His mouth found its way back to your clit as he finger fucked you harder. “Papi, ‘m gonna cum again” your body began shaking and your climax washed over you. You squirted on his face and he lapped it up as it spilled out of you. “good girl” he whispered as he came back up to kiss your cheek.

He slid off the bed and dropped his pants, taking his boxers down with them. Your mouth watered as you watched his dick spring out from its confines. He crawled back on top of you and lined his tip with your entrance, soaking it with your slick.

“Baby please don't tease” you begged as he rubbed his dick up and down your folds. Pleasure overcoming him, he slid into your cunt, sighing at the feeling of you clenching around his length. 

“Diablo, mami” he groaned as he came down to kiss you. He slipped his tongue in your mouth and deepened his strokes. You felt his tip hitting your cervix causing you to jump at the feeling.

“connie – fuck right there baby you're hitting it just right” you whined.

Hearing you say those words drove him insane. He picked up his pace and began bullying his dick into you. Your moans turned to slight screams and his groans grew louder.

“Oh mami”, he sighed, “i missed this pussy so much. You feel so good on my dick.”

Your walls began spasming as you reached your third orgasm for the night. Your hand clung to his back leaving scratches. Connie was fucking into you like a wild person. The look in his eyes was feral and the only thing on his mind was how good you felt taking his cock.

“ ‘M cumming papi, ah-, mm cant take it baby'.  you were a mess, tears staining your face, drool pooling on your chin. Your fucked out expression brought connie to his peak.

 “I'm gonna cum inside you baby. You want that? You want to feel me cum inside that tight little pussy?”

“Yes, cum inside me please baby, wan’ to feel your cum inside of me”

He groaned loudly as he came deep inside of you, hot ropes filling you to your brim. He slid himself out slowly and stared at your cunt, watching his sticky cum spill out of your fucked out hole. He rolled off and laid next to you. He pulled you to his chest and wrapped his arms around you

“ i really am sorry Y/N for everything” he said while tracing circles on your back

You grabbed his jaw and turned his face towards you then planted a sweet kiss on his lips.

“I know baby. Lets work on us, i want to be with you forever.” you whispered as you broke the kiss

He swallowed the lump forming in his throat and closed his eyes to stop his tears from falling.

“I love you”, he whispered.

“I love you too” you responded as you drifted off to sleep with the love of your life

[carpedzem]

hi

under the cut i want to talk a little bit, maybe overshare as well. ill try to keep it short (rereading nat here. i didnt). its a sad post, might make some of you angry but not for the reasons you think

i was staying away on purpose, but a few people asked about me so i wanted to let you know that hey, im lurking, im waiting to see what happens. maybe some things will change in the future but im putting it out here so its all in one place

i think i want to start with saying thank you again for sticking around, supporting my art and my thoughts and having discussions with me. i really opened up about myself and what I created here. im very anxious person and it influences my life on every level, so being heard, seeing people laughing at my jokes, loving my art has been so so important to me

about the situation, the gogcident if you will, i logged out as soon as i saw things going down and been getting updates though different source. and while situation is still on going and i dont know where it will go, as how it ends, theres two or three things im firm on that will always be true for me:

i really hate how believe all victims turns into believe everyone who speaks first, no matter what they say, no matter context, no matter proof. the first statement made in this case was untrue in a lot of important details and while i dont think caitis feeling are wrong or invalid i think her first statement made this situation into something it isnt. i think every victim should be heard but attacking everyone who was accused right away is not a solution

i do believe that everyone who was accused of anything has every right to defend themselves. the way its constantly taken away from dteam is not lost on me and its insane and upsetting

you can be traumatized by the events that werent in its core meant to be traumatizing. sometimes people act shitty and leave scars on you and sometimes you can do the same to other people

edited note bc i want this to be here as well: guilty until proven innocent is a crazy mindset and i cannot imagine situation that i would allow it. some idiots dont even realise how dangerous rhetoric that is. including accusers not being obligated to provide any proof of their claims

twt is the worst thing to deal with any discourse, misunderstanding or any delicate situation. i think no ones there cares for any victims period. i wish that place the worst

okay so what now. i havent decided yet. georges and dreams moves so far confirmed for me that no matter what happened it wasnt with malicious intentions. ill wait to see how this plays out and then ill decide about my next steps. one think i did for sure is i uninstalled twt from my phone (and that already bit my ass the moment dream started his space…) that part of fandom, both people who like (liked?) and hate dream is so damn self-destructive, toxic, manipulative and performative it wasnt worth it anymore. for here, i dont know yet. i dont hate dteam, i think this is very unfortunate and sad and complicated situation that left people very deeply hurt. and i wish it wasnt this way and im pretty sure dteam also wish that. but they cant change it and i cant change it even more

now this is something i dont really know how to tell you but let me try. i never mentioned this bc when i had those realizations, it was too late, everyone moved on and i felt stupid for dwelling on this. i feel stupid now, typing this. the thing is, drituation left me quite traumatized. fucking pathetic, i know. the sudden explosion of fandom left me really badly hurt. i lost a lot of people i genuinely believed to be friends with, and i miss them dearly. i felt, fuck it, still feel deeply betrayed by some of them. i dont want people guess who is who thats not the point, those people moved on long time ago. but that hurt has been really difficult to deal with, especially since realistically i know its quite stupid. crying over some people who were following me back for a few months? but i tried to let myself heal and grow love for this community again and i thought we will be okay. drituation felt like the end of the world but we got through it and I thought we are smarter. and well. im not trying to blame anyone or even a whole community, idk maybe i want to blame the universe for putting me here or society for working this way i dont know. but im hurting and i need to find a better way to deal with things going the wrong way. and it deeply upsets me but im afraid that i have to learn how to love you all less. and i honestly dont know yet what that means, how moving forward will look like. i dont have to make this decision now so i let myself stay away from social media for a while still and then go with presented situation the best i can. i dont try to make anyone responsible for my wellbeing i want to make this clear. im just trying to share my feelings and give you context for whatever happen in the nearest future. no matter what i need more healthy relationship not even with ccs but with community itself (and if you see me rebloging hazbin hotel fanarts. spare me...)

in this place i do want to state that no matter what i dont think dteam are bad people. im not closing myself at possibility of participating in the fandom, probably less though things i mentioned earlier. but if any of those things make you uncomfortable in any way, feel free to unfollow/softblock

im leaving my askbox open if anyone has anything to say, add, or idk, scream at me. not sure if i answer any tho. also if i delete this post in the next 10 minutes out of embarrassment then well, haha

on the final note i want once again thank you all for supporting me when i needed help for my cat. you all did something amazing, something i will never forget and i wish to hug everyone of you in person. thank you

see you around. one day. maybe tomorrow maybe in 10 days. idk

and if you are moving on in different direction, if we ever meet again, dont be a stranger

[2rats1gogh]

House of the dragon 2x02 very much redeemed the awful execution of Blood and Cheese in 2x01

The dialogue in this new episode was absolutely phenomenal. The scene of Aegon going batshit crazy after the death of his son was fantastic. I literally had chills. Tom carried the whole episode. I felt his rage with every atom of my body.

That whole sequence of the council meeting was 10/10. The way different people react to this awful tragedy, the way Alicent is heartbroken and feels guilty (although I wish they went in the direction of Helaena feeling guilty instead but whatever), Otto being very rational about everything, Aegon just being full of rage and despair. GORGEOUS.

I was a little disappointed with the way Aemond didn’t seem to care all that much. The scene in the brothel was alright, but it seemed off to me that he seemed to care more about the fact that the assassins were sent by Daemon to kill him, rather than grieving the death of his nephew. He literally showed more emotions when Luke died which is weird💀💀

I also wasn’t the biggest fan of the show’s excessive focus on Alicole. Don’t get me wrong but it just seems so out of character for Alicent to hook up with Criston soon after the death of her grandson, instead of comforting Helaena and Aegon who are grieving the loss of their child. That scene at the end was very weird and kind of unnecessary (again).

The dialogue between Rhaenyra and Daemon was surprisingly very good and emotional, and I am saying this as a team green supporter. I was even surprised that I started feeling bad for Rhaenyra. She has such a shitty husband, it’s actually pretty sad. At least she is starting to acknowledge it now, that she is more grown up and mature. Oh and I fucking hate Daemon, can’t wait to see him die. What a disgusting pathetic fucking asshole.

Their dialogue was fantastic, and felt super realistic, believable, and easy to follow and understanding. I loved it!!

The funeral scene… Chills. Literal, actual fucking chills. When they showed Jaehaerys’ little corpse with his head sewed back to his neck… My heart stopped for a moment here 😭😭😭😭 And Otto organizing that whole thing just to exploit the grief of Alicent and Helaena. Jesus. I don’t even know how to feel. It makes sense, and it was a good political move, but my heart breaks for Helaena especially.

At least it was shown that she is beloved by the smallfolk, which is accurate. Sure, she may not have needed that and preferred to grieve alone, but at least these people weren’t interrupting the funeral, like it seemed in the trailer.

Aegon punishing Blood was 1000/10 although I wish we had seen more of this. And him killing all the ratcathers… well, sad, of course, but can we really blame a grieving father? At least Cheese is dead. Although Otto was right, this is definitely gonna backfire.

Criston… Yeah, um. I guess that’s just how it is. Bro is projecting so hard onto everyone, jeez. Not a big fan of that, but it is what it is, and it’s kind of book accurate if i’m not misremembering anything?

Arryk and Erryk death scene was devastatingly sad tho. Absolutely horrible.

Overall, I’d say the execution of Blood and Cheese was horrible IMO, the way the consequences of it were shown was an easy 10/10. No complaints here.

[nora12379]

Take care of yourself, we miss you

Hello or good evening, lol, I don’t even know if anyone will read this or if Dollyyun will come across it (even though I secretly hope so ;) ).

If I wanted to talk about it, or rather write it, it’s because I came across a post from someone who had republished their upcoming writing projects (which I was excited to read, just like all of you, I suppose).

It made me sad to see that it will probably never come to fruition and that we’ll never get the end of DKP.

But what makes me even sadder is thinking that she might have left because of the people on this platform who were sending her hate that no one deserves to receive.

We’re supposed to be human and support each other, not stab each other in the back at every opportunity. It’s disgusting, pathetic, and really low of them, because they didn’t put themselves in her shoes before sending their crap.

And that’s why I apologize on their behalf, because even if they don’t, you need to hear this from at least someone.

I may never be able to ease the pain you feel with these few words, but I felt I had to do it.

So if you see this one day, I hope you are in the best of health, that you don’t feel guilty for not being able to keep your promises, because no one here holds it against you.

It’s true, we miss you, but your happiness is more important than pleasing us by continuing to write while you’re feeling unwell.

So take care of yourself, and if one day you decide to come back… I will continue to read your writings.

In the meantime, the rest of us are sending you all the love we have for you, Ruby, our forever writer who shines among the brightest stars.

[delightful-chaos-collection]

Barbra Lake

Sorry for the long and kind of all-over-the-place post

Now I would like to preface this by saying that I think Barbra Lake is an amazing character and was a truly good character.

But..

Did anyone else find it weird that Barbra did not talk to her son for a whole MONTH? Like Barbra, I get that you're mad at your son but a month? During "Return of the Trollhunter" we see Jim try to talk to his mom even make her favorite food and she just brushes him off, is curt and sounds so dismissive of him

It's not like Jim stopped caring for his mom. He still cooked and cleaned everything. He probably tried to talk to her and tell her the truth but she just shut him down. Which leaves the question has she done this other times before? In the past, Jim probably never told his mom about the bullying, about feeling sad, or needs help with homework or anything because he thought "moms already stressed she does not need my dumb problems" and "She's done so much for me I should not bother her and help her instead" but also because of a fear of her reaction?

As much as Barbra is concerned about her son doing all these things (cooking, cleaning the house, doing laundry, etc) I think there was a part of her that became dependent on it. Like she's a doctor that is already stressful, having a warm and clean home, a good meal, and someone to lend an ear after a long and stressful day and you just get to relax and have the other person with you. It's nice to have these things but she felt guilty that it was coming from her son but she didn't stop it.

Now imagine this from Jim's perspective. You love your mother more than anything. You feel so guilty about not telling her the truth and you want to but she's not listening to you anymore. She's curt and does not want to talk to you. For a whole month you try and talk but no. Then one day you get back home late your moms there and she finally talks to you. It's not how was your day, not a we should talk and even a hello. It's a yelling and a scolding. Barbra is right to be angry her son can't just disappear like that. But the first time your son hears you finally talk to him it's to yell and scold him. Jim is of course he's going to feel angry and frustrated, so little, so pathetic. He already has problems for the rest of his life his home and mother were the only comforts he had and now even that feels just gone

And after that argument you see both of them regretting the way they acted the way they behaved. Especially Barbra.

This is not to say that she was a terrible person or a bad parent. She just had the love of her life leave her she's probably grieving and heartbroken. What does she do? She either returns back to her studies to become a doctor or continues them. She becomes a successful doctor. Makes sure her son is safe and healthy. Is a productive member of society. Loves her son more than anything, and fights a giant stone assassin for her son to protect him. She is an absolute badass and boss b*tch. She tried and did the best that she could in parenting her son. But that is not to say that she is without flaws.

I think that at times she did not know how to be a parent

She is disappointed in Jim for having an uncomfortable opinion about Strickler and is angry with him and says she "expected more from him" like.. huh?

Then a whole counselor (human blinky) comes to your house and your first response is "What did Jim do now" not "Is Jim okay? What happened?"

Not talking to your own son for a month as if he is a friend that upset you

It would have been so interesting to see that after Barbra found out about troll hunting, she's feeling so guilty about the way she treated Jim. Seen her apologise, saw both of them work through their issues.

That even parents can make mistakes

She tried her best and she did. She raised a loving, caring, and responsible son and is so proud of him. She's a wonderful person but it cannot be said that she is without flaw

A head cannon of mine is that Barbra and James sr. were two medical students and fell in love. They wanted kids but later in life after their careers got well established (and they were in their teens or early twenties) but Barbra found out she was pregnant and they found out quite late. They had Jim and little babies can be a lot and really stressful. Neither of them where prepared. James wanted to give the child up for adoption but Barbra didn't. So they stick through it and five years later they are married all their dreams are not where they wanted them to be. They have a child. Their relationship is strained because of it, and they argue a lot. And little Jim overheard most of these arguments about James saying "how the child ruined their lives" "how they should have just given it away" and a lot of other horrible things. To Jim he thought his dad loved him but he actually hates him. How Barbra defends Jim, how she greatly loves him and none of this is his fault. James did not just suddenly leave there were a lot of problems. (He was one of them). Then one day he meets this young girl into skiing from Vermont so free and without worry and financial burden. You know the rest of the story.

Really sad headcanon: What if there was another reason why Jim wants to take care of his mom? What if he feels guilty? Guilty of causing his mom so many problems. So stressed. Thinks that he's the reason his dad left his mom. Her dreams and aspirations were ruined because of him begin born. It is all his fault. Taking care of Barbra is not just his way of showing love but saying I'm sorry.

What if one day on what would be James and Barbra's anniversary? It's been a year since James left and Barbra's still heartbroken and stressed. It's one of the few days she doesn't have a shift so she goes out to get her mind off things to just relax. She's gone most of the day and comes back late and drunk. She gets inside the house and it's clean and warm. She sees the table has been set nicely. Little Jim (6 years old) has made some really nice food for her. He has waited the whole day for her. And he is so happy to see her. But Barbra's not in the best mindset but she says hello and is impressed. her little boy is so smart and she is so proud. Little Jim takes her hand and guides her to the table. Barbra's just being reminded of how she and James used to do this often. She sits and little Jim gets her a plate of spaghetti he made for her. He is so proud, he got a lot of cuts and burns but that's okay. Because his mom is here and she going to love it, he loves his mom so so much. Barbara is just looking blankly at the table. Jim puts the food in front of her and she just… stares. Jim is worried does his mom not like it? he can make something else. Is she okay? Then Barbra looks at Jim eyes filled with worry and something in her snaps and maybe the alcohol is a reason to blame. But she yells and screams at Jim. Says that it is all his fault, how she could have been so much by now, how she and James could have still been together, that she should have just gotten rid of him, and a lot of things a child should never hear from a parent. And Barbara's crying hard. She flings the plate of food and it breaks. Jim is just standing there the entire time. listening to what his mom is saying, how angry she is at him, how many problems he's caused her, he's so scared right now. Barbra just gets up gives Jim one last look of anger and just leaves and goes to her room.

Jim just stands there.

stands there for a good while and hears his mom crying from her room. Then the crying stops. Jim goes up to apologize to his mom. to say he's sorry. but she's fallen asleep. Jim tucks her in.

then he goes and cleans up the shattered plate and the food. put the food in the fridge. makes sure the doors are locked and goes to bed and just cries and sniffles himself to sleep.

The next morning Barbra wakes up with a massive hangover(thank god she does not have a shift) and does not remember anything from last night. She makes herself some coffee and Jim comes out having just woken up. he sees Barbra and hides he's scared. Barbra sees him and thinks he's playing oh how much she loves her boy. She smiles and calls for Jim. He comes terrified on the inside. He stands in front and she raises her arm. Jim closes his eyes and Barbara hugs him and says good morning. and asks if he wants pancakes. He just nods. She comments on the pasta in the fridge but Jim does not say anything. They spend breakfast together, the pancakes are bad but his mom made them. and she seems to be happy now. then she gets called for a sudden shift. She's sorry to have to leave Jim but he says it's ok he will be fine. she gives him a hug and tells her how much she loves him. then gets dressed and leaves. and he sits at the table. alone. He has to be better, has to do better. He has to make sure his mom is always happy. he has hurt her so much. how its all his fault

Jim would never tell Barbra about that day and would take it to his grave

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

CW: Gender dysphoria and unexpected periods

***

Remus didn't feel well. It hadn't happened in months. And Remus thought that he had finally got rid of that horrible torture. But when he went to take a piss during the night, he was surprised to see his trousers stained with red.

Remus was too shocked to move and stayed in the loo for a while as tears dropped down his face silently. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair! Remus had been three months on T.

When he was able to move again, he sneaked out of the dorm in search for Poppy. She was the only was who he trusted with something like that. Even though it was still very embarrassing.

Poppy was very comprehensive providing Remus with tampons and pain killers.

Remus didn't know how he managed to return back to bed without waking up the boys. He shared dorm with the most cool three boys he had met. It was thanks to his old friendship with Sirius that gave him access their friend group. They were truly amazing. And Remus was just so embarrassed to even think about them finding out. Of course Sirius knew he was trans since he met his old self. But Remus didn't want anyone else in that school to know. He just wanted to pass as a cis boy and fit in.

The next morning, as the boys woke up and started to get ready for school, Remus stayed in bed hiding under the covers, ignoring James's insistant calls. It got to the point where James got irritated for being ignored. But Remus wasn't planning of getting out of bed anytime soon.

"Care to wake your sleepy stubborn friend, Pads?" James groaned as Sirius finally came out of the shower "We're missing breakfast"

Remus's eyes filled with tears. He felt guilty and sad but he couldn't move. This awful thing was painful.

"Don't worry, Prongsie" Remus heard Sirius’s voice with amusement "I'll take care of the sleepy head. You go ahead"

"I'm sorry but I'm starving!" James exclaimed with a sigh. Remus heard footsteps towards the door.

"Oi! Wait for me, Prongs!" Peter called out as he jogged after James "Hurry up, I won't save you breakfast again, pretty boy!" he added quickly as he closed the door behind him.

It had become a routine for Sirius and Remus to stay behind every morning. Sirius took ages in the shower, and took his time getting ready, and  Remus was a sleepy head who struggled to get on his feet. Plus, James and Peter didn't have the patience to wait for them. Sometimes they did and they all got late for breakfast. Most times they didn't and they saved Remus and Sirius something to eat.

Though today, Remus wished Sirius had gone with the other boys. He was too ashamed to face Sirius right now. Sirius, the boy Remus had a big crush on. Sirius, the boy he might be falling in love with. Again.

Sirius was so gorgeous and perfect. So manly and sexy. Remus was so pathetic. He hated his stupid feminine body. He hated that he was born a girl.

"Moony?"

Remus closed his eyes wishing that way Sirius would disappear.

"Come on, handsome. We are really late"

Remus's nostrils felt Sirius’s fresh shampoo giving him a strange desire to get closer and sniff harder. It was bloody delicious.

"Nut guin' " Remus mumbled under the covers.

"What was that?"

Remus took a deep breath "I said I am not going!" he snapped "Tell the teachers I feel sick or something"

"Are you really sick, Moony? Want me to get Pomfrey?" Remus heard the concern on Sirius’s voice. And Remus hated him for it.

"Just go, Sirius! Leave me alone"

Remus could feel Sirius’s presence leaning towards him.

"Can you at least tell me what's wrong with you?"

"Told you, I'm sick"

"But with what?" Sirius asked "Flue? Headache? Bellyache?"

It felt worse than those maladies. Remus knew girls went through it every month without a problem. But Remus was not a girl.

"Just fuck off, Sirius!!"

Remus felt guilty by the irritated way he sounded.

"Right" Sirius sighed, and Remus was relieved when he started backing away "I'll go, but can you please come out to do my tie? You know I suck at doing it myself"

Sirius didn't have the patience to fix his own tie. Whereas Remus had begged his father to teach him. Wearing a tie was a men's thing. And Remus wanted to be a man. When Remus got to Hogwarts, and discovered that Sirius was always with a messy tie, he volunteered to help him. Remus hadn't mind. Any excuse to be close to Sirius, breathe his cologne and feel his sweet toothpaste breath was enough. Although not today. Not when Remus probably smelled like shit.

"Do it yourself" Remus mumbled.

"Noo! We have Chemistry today and Slughorn is not going to leave me alone about my tie. You know that twat" Sirius said with a whine. "Moony, help!"

Remus was feeling more and more the neccesity of punching Sirius’s face.

"Moony?"

Remus didn't answer. But he was clenching his teeth.

"Fine!" Sirius sighed "I guess I won't go as well. I can't possibly go out of this room without my tie perfectly done..."

It happened in the matter of seconds. Remus jumped out of bed like a cat, groaning and cursing like a sailor, and grabbing Sirius’s tie as he pulled him closer.

"If I fucking do this would you fuck off and leave me alone?? Jesus Christ!! You're so annoying!!"

Sirius blinked at him in surprise. He looked concerned that Remus might strangle him with the tie.

"I'm sorry" Remus said, feeling guilt.

Sirius showed him a comforting smile. God! Could anyone be this beautiful with their hair wet and sleepy eyes? Remus was dizzy with such beauty. Or maybe he was just dizzy. He got out of bed very quickly.

"I really feel like shit today"

"I don't want to bother you, Moony" Sirius said as Remus fixed his tie "But I am worried. Should I get you something? Some medicine? Some food? Pomfrey?"

Remus couldn't face Sirius’s intense eyes on him so he fixed his gaze on Sirius’s tie.

"I'll be fine, Padfoot..." he was trying that nickname out and what a better way to do it than show Sirius he was fine, with a smile "I just need some..."

Remus stopped talking and even thinking when he saw it. Just on the shirt's collar. Pink and clear. A stain of lipstick. Actually several marks across the white fabric of Sirius’s shirt.

Remus knew Sirius was popular amongst girls. Apparently he had dated an older girl last term. And that gave him a reputation. Now, Sirius was seen with a different girl each week. Of course, he was bloody beautiful. Who wouldn't want him?

"Moony?"

But that lipstick mark made Remus sick. He thought about a girl sitting on Sirius’s lap, kissing his neck with her pink lips. Her breasts pressed against his chest. Sirius panting and moaning, pulling her closer to his crotch...

"You have lipstick on your shirt" Remus confirmed out loud. He wanted for Sirius to say it was misunderstanding. That it wasn't lipstick but paint or grape juice, something.

Though Sirius’s reaction was of amusement.

"Oh, God!" Sirius said as he took a look at his shirt "I didn't even notice it was there"

It was lipstick then. Meaning a girl had kissed his neck.

Sirius giggled "Imagine Slughorn's face noticing I have more action than him. Bet he and his wife have the most boring sex life ever"

Remus couldn't even bring himself to fake a smile.

"Good thing Vanessa only left a lipstick mark and not a hickey...." Sirius said with a frown "Wait, was it Vanessa?"

Remus had to face once and for all that he would never have a chance with Sirius. Remus was so common. Who would want a freak like him? A boy who wasn't even a real boy because boys didn't have bloody periods. Plus, it was crystal clear that Sirius was straight. He could have anyone.

But it hurt. It hurt everytime some other girl flirted with Sirius, kissed him or worse.... He didn't even want to imagine how they touched him and made him feel good.

Remus was now so dizzy that he also felt nausea. He couldn't take it anymore. The pain was so strong and the nausea was so awful that he ran to the bathroom to puke.

"Remus?"

He was so pathetic. God! What was wrong with him? It was truly embarrassing to be this lame and uncool in front of his crush.

Remus let out a few sobs as he emptied his stomach. He felt Sirius’s presence behind him. But he couldn't face him. He just stared as his own sick as tears filled his eyes.

"Hell no!" Sirius snapped angrily "I am not going anywhere, Moony. You're not okay. And I am staying with you. Whether you want it or not"

Remus felt how Sirius sat next to him on the floor. And stroked his back gently.

Remus couldn't take it no more. He bursted down crying. He covered his face in embarrassment.

Sirius pulled him into a hug. Remus couldn't believe how someone who smelled so good, fresh out of the shower, could hug someone who smelled like vomit and probably period blood. Remus was so disgusting. Though Sirius didn't seem to care. And that thought made Remus cry even more.

The next hour or so passed in a blur full of tears, messy hugs and stupid attempts to make Sirius go. But Sirius was stubborn. He stayed. He even texted James saying none of them would go to class and help them make an excuse for the teachers.

Sirius also convinced Remus to take a shower which probably was for the best since Remus was stinky. And Sirius gave him some privacy while he went to get them some food.

Remus bathed, changed into comfy clothes and by the time he got back to bed with a sad expression, Sirius was back with a tray of what seemed like a delicious breakfast.

"When Manolo knew you were sick, he thought you should be fed like a king" Sirius smirked as he put the tray in front of Remus "You should get sick more often" he added as he put a strawberry on his mouth "It suits me"

Unfortunately strawberries reminded Remus of the girl's lipstick. Vanessa, was it? He wondered what flavor her lipstick was. He bet it was strawberry flavored.

"I'm not hungry" Remus replied. "And you should really go to class"

"Go to boring class when I can have breakfast like a king and have your sweet, and not grumpy at all, company?" Sirius asked as he took a seat next to Remus, took a sip of the glass of juice and smiled "Guess what my decision would be"

Remus swallowed "I'm not grumpy"

"You're pouting, Moony" Sirius said "It's so adorable"

Remus stopped making the pout he didn't even know he was making.

"I even got you a piece of chocolate cake" Sirius pointed to the tray.

Eggs and bacon with toasts. Strawberries, orange juice, a cup of black tea and a piece of chocolate cake.

It all suddenly looked tasty if Remus thought about the effort Sirius had made for him. He probably told Manolo exactly what Remus liked for breakfast and that he usually ate a lot. It was sweet to think about how much Sirius cared.

Remus smiled slightly as he took a bite of the chocolate cake and oh damn... He hadn't had food as delicious as the one Manolo prepared.. And he really craved something sweet at the moment. Chocolate was always a good idea.

"I can see you're enjoying it"

Sirius watched in amusement as Remus finished his cake in two bites.

Remus swallowed and twisted his mouth in a smile.

"You should eat as well" Remus pushed the tray towards Sirius’s side.

Sirius gave him a sweet smile and grabbed the fork "I was planning to" he said as he stuffed some eggs in his mouth.

Remus watched him chew, swallow and lick his lips afterwards. It wasn't fair that Sirius was so gorgeous it was annoying. He couldn't look this perfect while doing something so mundane like eating.

"What?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.

He took a large bite of a piece of toast as well.

"I will need the energy if I am babysitting your grumpy ass all day" Sirius said with his mouth full.

Remus took the toast from Sirius’s hand and took a bite as well.

"I thought you said you weren't hungry!" Sirius protested.

"Wanker" Remus mumbled with his mouth full making Sirius laugh.

Remus knew if he had been left alone, he would have stayed in bed, cried until he fell asleep and repeat. But Sirius’s presence made him distract himself from the pain and actually have a good time.

After eating they talked about random stuff while sharing a cigarette. They used Remus's ipod to play songs to each other. It was a game to prove who had better taste. Remus always won.

Later on, Remus forced Sirius to read a book while he finished the one he was reading currently. But damn, Sirius got easily bored. He was trying to tickle Remus or bother him for attention.

"Read your own book, Sirius, and fuck off!" he rolled his eyes.

"But it's boring!!!"

Sirius put his chin on Remus's shoulder, giving him a shot of sparks on his tummy. He smelled so good that it gave Remus lots of desires.

"Fifty shades of Grey?" Sirius said as he read the cover of the book he was reading "Moony what is this? Soft porn?" he added as he read its contents raising an eyebrow "How come your book is better than mine"

Remus blushed. "Lily said it was good!" he spat as he took the book back. "And Mobby Dick is also good"

"Mmm... I didn't know Evans was so kinky. Don't you think Prongs needs to know?"

Remus couldn't avoid but laughing.

"It's all about the romance"

"You find lashing someone romantic?" Sirius asked trying to reach the book again. But this time Remus was too quick "Let me read that again!"

"No!" Remus laughed as he put it over his head and Sirius tried to reach it "Watch it is not my copy"

"Evans's, ha?" Sirius grinned "I want to know what Mr. Grey does later on, are you into that?"

Sirius began tickling Remus, making him giggle like a kid. "Stop! Sirius, Stoop!! Ahaha...."

It was all fun and games until Sirius ended up on top of Remus in bed.

Suddenly, Remus was aware of Sirius’s warmth covering Remus. His hard chest. The muscles of his arms. His thick legs. God, his crotch was touching Remus's belly. Just by acknowledging that, Remus's body temperature rose quickly. It was fast how Remus's body ached in desire. It got worse for the hormones that the period brought.

His face burned as well as the rest of his body. Especially when Sirius stared at him like that. His gray eyes flickered through Remus's face as if he was some sort of piece of art. Remus noticed how Sirius's cheeks were adoringly pink. And he liked to think he provoked that.

But maybe he wasn't the only one.

"Vanessa, ha?" Remus spat, pushing Sirius away from his body.

Sirius blinked "Ha?"

Remus stared at the book on his lap "Maybe you should read this and practice all of it with Vanessa"

Damn, he sounded more jealous than he intended.

Sirius raised an eyebrow "Vanessa is so over. You know I don't repeat girls, Moony"

"Oh sorry, my bad" Remus rolled his eyes.

Sirius smirked "Are you jealous?"

Remus snorted in response. But that said it all for Sirius.

"Bloody hell, you are jealous!"

Remus blushed immediately, internally cursing himself for being so obvious. Friends weren't supposed to act all possessive about other friends. But God, this was the boy of Remus's dreams. He was the boy that had owned his heart since he was ten. The boy whose name Remus had written inside hearts, the boy who he pictured while listening to love songs. And definitely the boy he wanted to live a romantic fantasies with. Like Fifty shades of Grey, for example. But that was his horny ass talking.

"Don't worry, Moony" Sirius smiled as he stroked his curls "No girl is going to take me away from you... They come and go, Moons. But our friendship is forever"

Remus smiled at those words. Best friends forever. They had sworn it with Moon wishes and saliva promises.

"Plus, do you think I would be in a random girl's bed if she were sick?"

Remus chuckled "Oh I bet you would"

Sirius laughed "Okay, maybe... But for selfish reasons. Not because I care about her...." and he stared into Remus's eyes as he said the next thing "Not like I care for you. You are my favorite person, Remus"

Remus cursed his swing moods and the fact that his eyes were filled with tears again. To hide his face, he hugged Sirius’s waist like a child. He pressed his forehead on Sirius’s chest, smelling him in.

Sirius was surprised at first. But then Remus felt his body relax and started caressing his hair.

Sirius’s beauty wasn't the only thing that Remus liked about him. He was a golden friend. He cared about Remus like no one else. He made Remus feel special and safe.

They had been close back when they were kids. But now, just in a short time, they had gotten even closer. Everything was easy when they were together. They laughed until their tummies hurt. They understood each other with just one look. They gave each other peace. They were comfortable around each other even if they gave each other physical affection.

The best part was that Sirius had accepted Remus as well as Rosie. Remus could just be himself around him. What a better way to love than that one?

It didn't matter if Sirius randomly snogged girls or let them kiss his neck leaving lipstick marks on his clothes. Remus had the satisfaction that they weren't important for his horny teenager best friend. Remus was.

Remus was just glad to have his best friend back. Life had been torture without him.

"Sirius?"

"Mmm?"

"Thank you" Remus said trying to swallow his tears. He couldn't cry again.

"For what?"

"For staying, for being, for bloody existing" Remus let out a soft chuckle and then sniffed. Remus couldn't see it but he knew Sirius was smiling beautifully "I would do anything for you, Moony"

Remus believed him.

[nightmarerodent]

More angast for Kung Jin! 😈

What would be his worst nightmare, from which he would wake up in a cold sweat, not being able to sleep for the rest of the night?

😈

“All you ever do is cause problems! Not everything has to be a dick measuring contest, you know!” Jacqui’s words clawed at his chest, leaving bloody wounds in their wake.

“For someone claiming to be so smart, the cold reality is you’re as useless as they come.” Frost sneered, “Little more than more useless grandstanding from the pointless Kung’s.”

Jin tried to tune out the voice but was instead met with Cassie’s, “What is your problem!? Do you really get some sick joy out of this!? Does watching everyone else fail somehow make you feel better about your sad, pathetic life!?”

It didn’t. That wasn’t true!

“You’re a real piece of shit, you know that?”

No! What did he do? What didn’t he do? His friends, everyone, was turning against him.

“The Shaolin expect better, Kung Jin. You will not be White Lotus this way.” Raiden’s words echoed like rolling thunder, rattling bone.

And then, there he stood. His oldest friend. For the longest time, his only friend.

“Takeda.” Jin’s voice was hollow.

The ninja refused to look at him.

“You really had me going there,” the voice was wet and heartbroken, “Really played me for a fool. I bet you’re pretty proud of that. The Great Kung Jin strikes again. To think I actually liked that about you.”

“Takeda, wait! Hold on! What did-” Jin called out, trying to approach his friend but always seemed just out of reach.

“I should’ve known better than to trust some thief.”

“Tak, you’re my friend. I’m sorry, I don’t-”

“WHY WOULD I EVER BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?” Takeda’s voice echoed and mixed into a cacophony with all his other friends’ cries.

“WhO wOuLd WaNt To Be WiTh A tHiNg LiKe YoU?”

“No OnE lOvEs YoU!”

The voices mixed like maelstrom winds. Freezing. Cutting. Jin covered his ears but it only made them grow louder. Angrier. He was alone. So very alone.

No one.

No one.

No one.

No

one.

Oji?

He shot up in a cold sweat, gasping for air, the sheet constricting him like a python with its prey. He pulled it off him, taking another large gulp of air as he surveyed his surroundings. Dark room. Bed. Night. Where was he?

The door cracked open with a foreboding creek and his head whipped around to see the cause and possible intruder.

Slowly opening the door, as careful as could be was a small four year old girl dressed in PJs, clutching her favorite stuffed T-Rex like her life depended on it, her curly hair an absolute mess from tossing in her sleep, eyes wide with fear. Vee.

It was little Vera. He was at Jacqui’s and Takeda’s. She was pregnant again and due very soon. They asked him to help. They said they wanted him here. They wanted him here.

He let out a long breath, his racing heart finally slowing. He was safe. He was fine. He was safe.

“Oji?” Vee’s voice was small and watery.

“Hey kiddo,” he was glad his voice didn’t come out shaky, “Bad dream?”

She nodded her head and quickly scurried her way over to the guest bed and hoisted herself up. He drew her in and let her snuggle her way into his side. Under any other circumstances he might privately gloat that she came to him instead of her parents, use it as proof that he was in fact her favorite. It didn’t seem very important right now, though. She was as much of a comfort to him as he was to her right now. She needed her favorite uncle and he needed his favorite girl.

“Everyone was being mean to you.” She sniffed.

She had that glint in her eye. The one Takeda has when he uses his powers. She must have read his nightmare and saw it as her own. He felt guilty for the grief it’s causing her. Her powers were developing far faster than her father’s had. He’ll bring it up to them tomorrow. Maybe ask Grandmaster Hasashi for advice on how to block thoughts from leaking out.

“Don’t worry, Vee,” he removed some of the hair from her eyes, “It’s just a bad dream. None of it is true.”

She sniffed again and rubbed her nose, “I love you, Oji.”

“I love you too, little bunny,”

She fell asleep again with him as her guard.