#🫀 tornament/polls

[ballpit-bakery]

[ballpit-bakery]

forgot i had this image on my camera roll of him so yeah

Seeding Round: Poll 6

Image IDs included! Click the images to see the full character please!

More about each NPC below the cut!

Character Descriptions are in the order of their appearance in the poll!

Character 1

Name: HE Party: The Misdemeanor Mateys Relationship to party: Businessman, aggrivating party stalker, final boss

What makes them the best NPC: Mysterious tiny man with static for a head, and the loudest screechiest voice you can imagine (DM once blew out their vocal chords because of him). Levitates and teleports at will, and can pop objects in and out of existence. Runs a business granting magical favors. Originally tried to hire the party to help his business but the group said "fuck no". Now regularly pops in to nag, cause trouble, or play meme songs on a calliope, and occasionally provides useful information. HE controls an alternate dimension called the Mercantile Pile full of items from different times and places, including lots of modern-day technology (unlike the D&D campaign setting). He can be summoned by writing out his name. His calling card is a 7 of Spades, which he can also use to influence the world & cast spells remotely. HE mainly wears business suits & suspenders, but has also appeared in a hazmat suit (riding a tricycle), turtleneck sweater and thigh holster, wetsuit with suspenders painted on, sequin jacket with '69' on the back, peacock burlesque, and nurse drag outfit. He once killed 20 guards with a snap of his fingers. He also destroyed a walkman with a flamethrower. Implied to be the father of the ultra-powerful kid whose primary pastime is handing out enchanted "friendship nuggets" [chicken]. His #1 business competitor is Michael's Wonder Emporium. Eventually turns out to be one of the most central characters to the story.

Quote: "STAY OFF MY THRONE!" "You're going to call me when you need me!"

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Character 2

Name: Parsnip Party: Soup Squad Relationship to party: [Submitter's PC, Barley's] pocket frog/run off prince from a nearby land

What makes them the best NPC: Tumblr sexyman material, and has fighter stats as a druid. He uses wildshape for the express purpose of tagging along with a literal child. This lead to him literally melting in Barley's bag once.

Quote: "So what's with the, uh, rivalry you have with the wizard that's trying to kill us, Barley?"

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Character 3

Name: Mary Byram Party: Ambiscade Gang Relationship to party: Coworker, divorcee

What makes them the best NPC: Mary Byram is living proof that the song “No Children” by The Mountain Goats doesn’t just have to be about romantic relationships gone wrong. She’s a bright red tiefling rogue with a storied past, currently working for a guild called the Thinfingers alongside one of the party members. Previously, she worked with a tiefling rights movement called Hellflame, but something happened there that she doesn’t really talk about. She’s still passionate about both the movement and the group, though.

Our bard lovingly calls her “Mare-Bear.” She hates this. She’s a day drinker. She’s exhausted always. She cares so much but will never admit it unless under duress. I think she genuinely thinks that god cursed her by metaphorically putting her in a get-along shirt with our rogue PC. Their dynamic allowed our party to coin the term “Coworker Divorce” except they’re literally not allowed to actually get rid of each other. She is also constantly saddled with the skater-pilled rogue who was also submitted to the bracket, so she’s usually outnumbered when it comes to harebrained schemes. She’s largely anti-antics, but is down for some antics if she's in control of them. She’s a mastermind and usually gives the help bonus action either by telling people what they fucked up or by telling them NOT to fuck something up. She deserves a break she’ll simply never get.

Quote: "Thoughts?" -the warlock, asking Mary about a proposed plan. "...More than you. Apparently." -Mary

[ballpit-bakery]

Yo folks!!

The name’s Ballpit Bakery, but I also go by Ghoul. They/it/her, Aroace.

What am I about on this blog?

I do a lot of digital art, including but not limited to:

Fandom

Original Characters, tagged with either the OC's name or their story.

Gore

What are my DNI standards?

Standard DNI rules, yada yada yada, don’t be a dingus and have some empathy.

Any NSFW or fetish blog.

Online discourse starters.

Some quick rules regarding my OCs for those who care.

Even though most of my characters are indeed 18+, I am not comfortable with the sexualization of them.

I’m ok with fanart!

I'm ok with inspired designs, just don't go all the way.

Navigation for Tags:

#🍰bakerytakes - any rambling or text post I do

#🪡reblogs - reblogs

#🍓inbox - asks and stuff like that

#🫀tornament/polls - any poll I reblog or create

#🌺mutuals - people i wanna give a platonic virtual hug to <3333

Tags for stories I'm writing are in the tags on this post.

That’s all!

[ballpit-bakery]

Round 1: Kevin vs Parsnip

Image IDs included! Click the images to see the full character please!

More about each NPC below the cut!

Character 1

Name: Kevin Party: GATEGATE Relationship to party: Familiar, general menace

What makes them the best NPC: We used speak with animals on him one time and it was so funny we just decided he could talk the whole time. Canonically he's a familiar because he got arrested in the Feywild and this is his community service. He's not only useless but actively antagonistic to the party. He eats exclusively raw meat hand-rolled in birdseed and hates everyone. His sheer glee at seeing the rest of us miserable was powerful enough to protect us from the effects of the Shadowfell. His two attacks are (a) shitting on people and (b) necklace of fireballs. He is my horrible son and I love him very much. He gets consulted on every decision and his response is always some variation of (horrible screechy voice) "you're all stupid and I hope you die I'm going back to sleep".

Any extra propaganda under the tag Kevin, to be found here

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Character 2

Name: Parsnip Party: Soup Squad Relationship to party: [Submitter's PC, Barley's] pocket frog/run off prince from a nearby land

What makes them the best NPC: Tumblr sexyman material, and has fighter stats as a druid. He uses wildshape for the express purpose of tagging along with a literal child. This lead to him literally melting in Barley's bag once.

Quote: "So what's with the, uh, rivalry you have with the wizard that's trying to kill us, Barley?"

Any extra propaganda under the tag Parsnip, to be found here