#🤷🏼‍♂️ cunts

[joekeerys]

AEGON II TARGARYEN + his favorite word

[lipglossanon]

i feel like i kinda disassociate when i type and send asks lmao i just get anxious ya know? but you mentioned priest leon and honestly i’ve sent enough detailed asks in to get accurately kinkshamed lol so let’s say after Spain (i’m not a slut for RE4 leon that’s silly 🤭😉) leon quits//retires and becomes a priest right? right. or like he’s seen some shit and becomes a priest after retiring 🤷🏼‍♂️ whichever leon floats your boat. so he’s a caretaker for a little chapel in the woods somewhere and you’re on a trip for christmas (bad weather, closed roads, one bed holy trinity trope pun-fucking-intended) and what you don’t know is a kindly 20 something or if you’re an ~i love DILFS~ leon fan 30 to 40 something (because you might be calling him Father later 😉) moderately unhinged priest is about to make you get on your knees and repent for your sins 🙂🤭

- 💀

(i saw the end of your answers about me writing and i wanted to say i would love to but i’m too scared in case i loose my tumblr again lmao, i appreciate it though <3 also my brain conjured up the idea of stepdaddy leon in a speedo during family vacation to mess with reader,,, enjoy 🤭)

💀 anon, hi! 👋

AGDKL sending in asks is kinda nerve wracking, anonymous or not 😅

Ahhh! 🙈 no but this is fantastic. After Spain, Leon’s like I’m out and the president is so grateful to him that he lets him go so he’s like I want a simple easy job and priest is what he lands on

And so he finds this middle of the nowhere chapel that basically has next to no parishioners (they’re all old and make the trek to the chapel for like spiritual emergencies or like holidays such as Christmas and Easter).

So basically he’s just living in the middle of the woods just keeping to himself when you happen to be passing through (to see family, let’s say it’s Christmas). And you’re car gets stuck cause you forgot to put on the chains for your tires

But you remember passing a little chapel literally two minutes ago so you make the short cold trek to it before it gets too dark and this stacked, hot as hell priest opens up the door after you knock and you’re just like uhh help? 😅

And he invites you in as you tell him your car trouble and he’s listening but his face is totally unreadable so you’re just like I can just call someone and get out of your hair? And uh oh the phone lines are down and there’s no service :( so you’ll have to wait til the morning but in the meantime Leon offers you his bed but you’ll have to share cause there’s no central heat and his little room only has a small fireplace :( 🤭

You’re so flustered and sweet that Leon wants to bite you, just eat you up and it’s kinda driving him crazy cause he hasn’t felt this way before (but he also hasn’t seen anyone younger than 70 in ages lmao)

So when you’re both lying in his bed, you keep squirming to get comfortable which just leads to rubbing against Leon who’s getting hard until finally he just can’t take it anymore 🤭

He’s all over you, biting you and sucking marks all over your skin, telling you how sinful it is to tempt a priest and how you’ll have to pay for it with your body 😵‍💫 😵‍💫 he’s just so rough with you, completely animalistic that by the time daylights weakly streaming through the windows of his room, he’s still buried in your cunt as you plead for forgiveness 🥴

Sorry I totally went way overboard with the reply 🤪

And no sweat about writing! I love getting your asks which is basically the same thing 😉 and Leon in a Speedo is 🤤 🤤

[notahungryjoke]

The Hun_grupchat part 3 nobody asked for, but I love doing them😝

captaindomi: you guys know that meme, the one that goes "im the only bitch serving cunt here, so embarassing"

captaindomi: yeah, well that was me, against Montenegro

captaindomi: losers

captaindomi: except for you @ddibusz. Papi, you were great as always, what a goalie you are!

captaindomi: ManU should have signed you instead of that bum.

ddibusz: Well, that's very kind of you, but I don't think I ever was or could be at that level. Onana is a good goalkeeper, the club is just an unfortunate one.

callumstlyes: That is a very polite way to say ManU freaking sucks.

sallai_roli: Dini is always class.

miloskerkez: @captaindomi are you crazy, why would you even want Dini there at ManU. Do you secretly hate him??

captaindomi: of course not, you idiot. I was just saying he definitely could do Prem, if he wanted too.

vargabarna: Dini is a club legend, and captain and he will never leave the best hungarian club ever!

kevin_ute: didn't know Dini played for us

sallai_roli: Oh my, stop bickering! I can't take this anymore, just either fuck or kill each other at this point, this tension the two of you have between each other is killing our team spirit!

captaindomi: agree, @kevin_ute, @vargabarna, you should fuck. For the good of the team.

sallai_roli: Thank you!

captaindomi: speaking of fucking, @sallai_roli you should hit too. Bro, you are pent-up, it's becoming a bother too.

captaindomi: in fact, i think everybody should fuck whoever they want, life is too short

séfi: if it's consensual, of course

captaindomi: hell yeah @séfi

séfi: ❤️

captaindomi: ❤️

gula: I think we all should go to sleep instead.

willi_orban: Ja.

gula: Seriously, what's going on with kids these days?

willi_orban: 🤷🏼‍♂️

[denverfarmboy]

…I’m gonna’ go with “spiteful, unlikeable cunt”… 🤷🏼‍♂️

==

From the article:

"I am only one of the millions of Gen X-to-Gen Z women who have endured a seemingly endless array of miserable relationships with men."

Have you considered the possibility that the single common denominator in all of your miserable, failed relationships... is you?

"It's not that I'm a pretentious, spiteful, unlikeable, unmarriable cunt, it's that..." *flips card* "... 'romance' is white supremacy."

"Everything I'm mad about is white supremacy."

Ridiculous assholes like this - and people taking them seriously - are why we can't have nice things.

[somevampiresslut]

I fucking. Hate my apartment building. Not paying rent next month I've decided.

[super-nintendude64]

All the unusual asks for anon (you owe me)

1: Do you ever wish you were someone else?

Often.

2: What is your full name?

Daniel James Baker.

3: How old are you and how old do you get mistaken for?

Don’t know.

4: Have you ever dyed your hair?

Yup, I miss my purple hair tbh.

5: What’s your eye color?

Green.

6: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it

Pretty uncomfortable tbh.

7: Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

7 tats, 2 tunnels and a nose ring.

8: What would you say is your best quality?

I don’t know really, you tell me aha

9: What are you really bad at?

Life.

10: What talent do you wish you had?

Being popular.

11: Are you nice to everyone?

I try to be.

12: What do you think about the most?

Money, or the lack thereof.

13: Things you like/dislike about yourself

I like my taste in video games/I dislike basically everything else.

14: What is your least favorite word?

Triggered.

15: What is your favorite word?

Cunt.

16: Are you more like your mom or your dad?

Hopefully I’m nothing like my dad.

17: Would you ever smile at a stranger?

Probably not, I don’t have a pleasant smile.

18: A reason you’ve lied to someone

I didn’t like them 🤷🏼‍♂️

19: Are you lying about anything right now?

Nope.

20: Have you kissed someone older than you?

Yup.

21: Do you believe in love at first sight?

Less and less everyday.

22: Do you believe in soulmates?

Maybe.

23: Are looks important?

They have to somewhere along the line.

24: Opinion on relationship age differences

If your pushing a decade, probably should reign it in.

25: Would you date someone off the Internet?

Yup.

26: Have you ever cried over a boy/girl?

Sadly so.

27: Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Constantly.

28: Anyone you’re giving up on right now?

Yup.

29: Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Yup.

30: Have you ever liked your best friend?

Yuuuuuup.

31: How does someone win your heart?

I don’t even know anymore, if someone opens a door for me I’ll probably fall in love with them 😂🤷🏼‍♂️

32: What turns you on?

Naked ladies.

33: What turns you off?

Naked dudes.

[super-nintendude64]

0-44, leggo. do it!

You owe me fam 😒

0: Height170cm

1: Age24 (25 in August)

2: Shoe sizeUS10/UK9

3: Do you smoke?Nope.

4: Do you drink?Nope.

5: Do you take drugs?Nope.

6: Age you get mistaken forDunno, when I was 16 I used to get confused got 18-20.

7: Have tattoos?7 in total.

8: Want any tattoos?MANY

9: Got any piercings?3

10: Want any piercings?Not really.

11: Best friend?@burnthewatchtower

12: Relationship statusSingle and ready to get anxious around people I find attractive.

13: Biggest turn onsBoobs.

14: Biggest turn offsDicks.

15: Favorite movieSe7en’s pretty up there.

16: I’ll love you if…Y’all can deal with my goofiness 🤷🏼‍♂️

17: Someone you miss@burnthewatchtower

18: Most traumatic experienceLife.

19: A fact about your personalityMy sense of humour is as dark as the ocean is deep.

20: What I hate most about myselfEverything.

21: What I love most about myselfMy game collection.

22: What I want to be when I get olderHopefully a useful member of society.

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)Pretty okay.

24: My relationship with my parent(s)Mum’s all good, Dad’s dead to me.

25: My idea of a perfect dateNice food, hand holding, iunno.

26: My biggest pet peevesSelf-centred people 🤷🏼‍♂️

27: A description of the girl/boy I likeDunno I don’t have any crushes at the moment, feel free to apply for the position though.

28: A description of the person I dislike the mostA cunt.

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friendBecause I’m a dick.

30: What I hate the most about work/schoolOther people.

31: What my last text message saysSomething from Mum about cooking dinner.

32: What words upset me the most🤷🏼‍♂️

33: What words make me feel the best about myselfI guess when other band’s/people compliment my drumming and such.

34: What I find attractive in womenDepends on the person.

35: What I find attractive in menGuys just being dudes.

36: Where I would like to liveProbably by myself with a decent room to drum in, with lots of cats.

37: One of my insecuritiesMy appearance.

38: My childhood career choicePro golfer iunno

39: My favorite ice cream flavorThe Fruit Tingles one.

40: Who I wish I could beIunnnnooo probs a functioning adult

41: Where I want to be right nowIn bed.

42: The last thing I ateCouple of pistachio nuts

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately🤷🏼‍♂️

44: A random fact about anythingTrex’s teeth were the first bio weapon