#🛡️◂Soldier Boy┊Interactions┊Main

[leagueofdccm]

🛡️◂Soldier Boy┊headstrong to take on anyone┊Aesthetics  ,

🛡️◂Soldier Boy┊Interactions┊Short,

🛡️◂Soldier Boy┊Interactions┊Main   ,

🛡️◂Soldier Boy┊Interactions┊Long ,

🛡️◂Soldier Boy┊Interactions┊Text ,

🛡️◂Soldier Boy┊Hands off the fucking shield┊Inbox IC,

[thcrealheroes]

🛡️◂Soldier Boy┊headstrong to take on anyone┊Aesthetics  ,

🛡️◂Soldier Boy┊Interactions┊Short,

🛡️◂Soldier Boy┊Interactions┊Main   , 🛡️◂Soldier Boy┊Interactions┊AU   ,

🛡️◂Soldier Boy┊Interactions┊Long ,

🛡️◂Soldier Boy┊Interactions┊Text ,

🛡️◂Soldier Boy┊Hands off the fucking shield┊Inbox IC,

[stergeon]

stuff i’ve made and things i like!!

🧝‍♂️ iloveelfs.com 🧝‍♀️

hi!! i'm rex, aka stergeon, aka @rumtumtuggerofficial, but you can call me whatever you want. i'm a 29-year-old dyke who likes to write and draw sometimes.

📬 askbox: open!! send me stuff to draw or write (or just say hi that’s fine too)

📖 my fics on ao3: check ‘em out here!! comments & critique are always appreciated <3

current fixation:

fire emblem: three houses. my main project right now is hubert’s perfectly normal day, a post-crimson flower interactive comic.

what you’ll find here:

🛡️ fire emblem | 🌋 morrowind / elder scrolls | ⚔️ the locked tomb | 🧝 elfs / 🎲 dnd | 👎 bad jokes | 👯‍♀️ wlw | 🐟 things that strike my fancy

my tags, OCs, and other drabble under the cut

tags

pretty much everything posted here is my own work (everything else goes on my main blog). i don’t really post nsfw art, but i do write nsfw stuff. expect sword-related violence and occasional sapphic sex.

if there are any tags you’d like me to add to my posts, please let me know!

🗣️ asks

🎨 comics

👁️‍🗨️ musings/text posts

🐠 pictures of sturgeons

OCs

these are my dnd characters who i like very much and draw with some frequency :0)

ioril revendran

ioril is a Teen Drow™ from my Out of the Abyss campaign. he’s a wannabe wizard, a rude dweeb, and a political/religious extremist. he’s a busy boy!

he wrote a manifesto calling for change to drow culture and better treatment of men in their matriarchal society, as well as abolishing worship of the cruel goddess Lolth. this went over about as well as one might think and he was sentenced to death.

though he was ready to die “for the cause,” a group of surface-dwellers he shared a cell with convinced him he might be interested in seeing something called “the sun” and asked him to help them escape the underdark.

ioril is also an expy of my morrowind character and has a Dramatic Secret Backstory that’s basically the plot of the game, so wish him luck finding the volcano-dwelling godboyfriend of his dreams. unfortunately, that may be extra difficult to accomplish as he recently passed away in a tragic "blew himself up" accident, but here's hoping he can still pull it off!

rokas

rokas is a wood elf tempest cleric of Kord… or at least she was when she entered Barovia in my Curse of Strahd campaign. she was a brash and idealistic former soldier dedicated to helping as many people as she could in kord’s name, even if she wasn’t always that great at thinking her ideas through.

unfortunately the mists got to her and throughout her time there, she managed to become a werewolf, lose favor with her god and become a necromancy domain cleric, sprout skeletal wings, and became cursed to have to eat a pound of bones or fresh grave dirt every or she would die. though she had the opportunity to go home after slaying the vampire, she elected to stay in barovia instead. if only the dang vampire had stayed dead

[thcrealheroes]

QUESTIONS SEEMED TO GET A RISE OUT OF SOLDIER BOY; HIS RAGE NOTHING but threatening as he watches the other man take the blunt from his hand. " Then, to answer your question- fuck yeah, I am, but this shit isn't nothing compared to the shit I've done before; if anything, this is all KIDDY SHIT. " The older supe nonchalantly shrugged as he reclaimed the blunt, inwardly dismissing the notion of finding solace in it; if only it had the power to truly ease his inner torment. But it's not powerful enough to wash away the demons from his mind forever. " You couldn't tell me what to do even if you wanted to, " A curl at the corner of his twin flesh, amused as he takes another hit, longer this time, holding it, holding it until his lungs are filled with the smoke, titling his head up to blow out the fumes, watching the greyish transparent haze disappear right before his eyes, he let out a sigh and turned to look at Butcher. A moment of silence hung in the air as he extinguished the flame by pressing the blunt against the back of his boot.

  " I was young when I started a lot of shit... smoking, drinking... you name it, I fucking did it. " As he sat there, memories began to flood his mind, unwanted and unbidden. " I used to steal from my old man, you see. He was always busy working... the number of times he was at home only felt so little, a handful ? Maybe ? Which left me to find ways to AMUSE myself... when the maids were off cleaning, I was off exploring my father's liquor cabinets. Found his secret statch, smoke just about all that he had there-- " Soldier Boy spaces out, eyes wide. Wonders now, since Ben was just a youngster back then, If his father ever noticed the half-empty bottles and the missing cigars... and if he did... that meant he knew of Ben's alcohol abuse and said nothing of it, why did he care ? He shuts his eyes, almost in agony, face scrunching up as he gets up from the chair. " -- You don't wanna hear the rest, boring shit back when I was still like you-- human and easy. "  

continued from x | @thecreativeforge

Well, someone been having a rough evening, able to get his knickers in a twist over a simple question. Then again, Butcher didn't expect much else from the likes of Soldier Boy, so broken that holding onto the belief he was nothing but perfectly fine was the last straw of sanity he could possibly hold onto. Not that he was either fine or sane, but neither was Butcher.

"Calm your tits, old man. It was just a question." Butcher muttered as he extended his own hand out of his pocket, reaching and taking the offered blunt before placing it between his lips, taking a long drag. He'd done all kinds of drugs in his life, and the green stuff was certainly the lighter option out of everything he had opted to partake in during his years. The smoke filled his lungs, the calming sensation tickling at the edges of his consciousness, handing the blunt back to Soldier Boy.

"I ain't telling you what to do. You're a big boy now; you choose however you wanna... self soothe." He watched the supe take back his stick, leaning back against his chair. "When'd you start? Same age as those stolen Manhattans?"

[leagueofdccm]

SOLDIER BOY, A MAN KNOWN FOR ALWAYS KEEPING his word and never backing out of a deal, found himself in uncharted territory when his heart underwent a transformation. The once icy and fearful exterior surrounding his BEATING ORGAN melted away, and he realized that it was not too late. Despite not having raised John as a child, as Butcher pointed out, Soldier Boy felt a newfound determination to step up and become a FATHER TO HIS SON. He understood that Butcher would need to find it in his heart to forgive him. That or he could fuck off; he didn't care. But he was committed to making amends and being there for his son.

Oh, how they have taken so, so much from them. It makes Soldier Boy's BLOOD BOIL and heart darken with the thirst for revenge to make everyone suffer. Every person involved who is still BREATHING and living their precious life… will have to face the consequences. Amid his overwhelming RAGE, he found a fleeting moment of tenderness as he heard his son's voice reaching out to him. He clasped John's shoulders with a firm yet gentle grip, the touch of a father who brims with PRIDE and LOVE while offering solace to his son. " Listen up, son, " He tells him in a hushed tone, a secret only indicated for father and son; no longer is Butcher an issue, and no longer will Vought be an issue. " Nobody is getting away with shit. Those cocksuckers are going to pay. Every one of those motherfuckers. It's you and me now. " It's the first time he finds himself being an entirely DIFFERENT person. Colorful words and creative ways for them to be said are part of his vocabulary… but John is his boy, his little.. not so little boy. He knows he's heard a string of curse words out of his mouth before, but… maybe he wants to do it right.. for once.

Soldier Boy goes to EMBRACE his son; it'll be the first hug… not just from John, but the first hug since he's been out. It's like everything is moving in slow motion. He NEVER gets to envelop his arms around Homelander…. a searing sensation against his side terminates the loving moment between father and son. One second, he's in front of his son; the next ? He's BLASTED across the room, back slamming HARD against the wall, shield falling from his handle as he tumbles harshly on the floor, gasping for air… shit still hurts, no matter the amount of strength and power; this shit always fucking hurts.

WHEN GLANCING over to the culprit, his eyes landed on Butcher, whose eyes were glowing red, teeth clenched together angrily, along with his ass squad circling him. " We had a fuckin' deal ! " Butcher aggressively gestures over to Soldier Boy, his voice dripping venom as he's ready to zap at him again. The blonde bitch… doesn't recall her name or cares to isn't far behind Butcher. " Told you this was a bad idea ! He's a walking weapon and a THREAT to everyone we need to put him back- ! "

Back ? No…. fucking no.

at that moment, it was as if the world had stopped and it was just the two of them; a father about to wipe out the one thing he had wanted for so long, and a son so starving for a family that if he couldn’t keep this one good thing that had miraculously appeared in his life at last, it might as well be the end. of him, or the world, whichever came first.

the bright glow from his father’s heart remained a warm shadow on his eyelids that closed shut right after sharing his name, and he steeled himself for whatever was about to come. he would not fight back. though what happened next, he could not have prepared for. the light dimmed, and instead of an explosion, came words. his eyes opened again, taking in his father’s face through a wet look, noticing the change on his expression. surprised. confused. hopeful. speechless.

carter. it was so incredibly ordinary, but then and there it carried the most powerful sound he’d ever heard. it held a weight so charged with emotion that he felt it all the way down to his stomach. carter. a name he now shared with his dad, if only for these few seconds. a tear rolled, but he smiled now, while soldier boy let go of him and patted him on the shoulder. 

and in that moment they were family. they were father and son.

❛❛  look at us…  ❜❜   he chuckled quietly through grief and joy all at once. ❛❛ what they’ve done to us… what they took from us. ❜❜ each other. ❛❛ we don’t have to let them get away with that. any of it. ❜❜

a hand moved up to touch his dad’s arm. ❛❛ you and me, dad, ❜❜ he dares to let the word slip into the air, pleadingly. ❛❛ no one would ever be able to hurt us again, and those who already did? we’ll make sure they pay. together. ❜❜

[leagueofdccm]

IF IT WAS BLACK NOIR, HE WOULD GLADLY HAVE THROWN THE HOT DRINK at his already disfigured face underneath that mask. Go nuts. He didn't care. Soldier Boy wanted to avoid trying UNMANLY things. But it's Michelle, so he'll learn to enjoy the new things she offers him…. for her… he supposes. Soldier Boy clutches the warm cup in his hand, his fingers tracing the edges as if searching for a shred of comfort. The weight of the ceramic feels heavy against his palm, a physical manifestation of the emotional burden he carries.

As he raises the cup to his lips, the AROMA OF THE STEAMING DRINK engulfs him, transporting him back to a time filled with joy and heartache. The first sip dances across his tongue, igniting a flood of memories that he thought had been buried deep within him. He always started his morning with a coffee in his hand.

EACH SWALLOW of the coffee feels like a relentless battle between his past ( or what little of his past he had ) and present ( everything new, everything unknown. nothing is the same. not even black coffee. ), leaving him torn and conflicted. Despite the kindness behind the gesture, the familiar taste serves as a painful reminder of the unresolved emotions that still linger within him. He could have grown into all of this if he wasn't shoved into a damn box. He would understand the so-called internet and star-BUNKS.... but now he has to catch up and relearn the world and all the things HE USED TO LOVE ONCE.

He places the cup back on the table, deliberately avoiding eye contact with Michelle. " Don't say a word. Don't- " He can't help but crack a smile, not one of Soldier Boy's famous cocky smiles he offers to the people kissing his ass, BUT A REAL ONE. " You little-- Americano is black coffee. And you just wanted to see the look on my face didn't you ? WOW. You set me up. Coulda told me Americano was black coffee before I started causing World War Three in a fucking coffee shop, Chelle. I like a girl with a great sense of humor... it's hot. "

SOLDIER BOY LET OUT AN EXAGGERATED sigh and, with a roll of his eyes, takes another sip, relishing the rich flavor. Why did it taste better ? " Fucking… is there cocaine in here ? Cause holy shit. That would explain the sudden rush pumping through my blood. I think I want another one; this shit is pretty addicting-- what did you get ? What is that again ? Frappawappa ? Is it good ? " He eyes her drink curiously but also tries not to pay much attention. It's a pussy drink.. well shit, so Is Americano, and look where that got him.

Michelle watched Soldier Boy with an amused look as he started ranting again. She had to wonder if he had any idea at all that a Caffe Americano was exactly what he wanted in the first place. It would be way too funny when he made the realization. That entire DRAMATIC ASS scene, and for what? Absolutely no reason!

She watched as he made his way over to one of the tables, still mumbling to himself as he did.

The barista gave Michelle a look filled with unspoken anxiety as she returned her credit card and handed her the two drinks. Mi- chelle made sure to give the girl a good tip for the SCENE that just unfolded.

Placing his Caffe Americano BLACK COFFEEdown in front of him, she took a sip of her frappuccino, and sat down, trying her best to stifle a laugh.

❝ Just take a sip, ya might actually like it. ��� At this point, she might have been trolling– just a bit. But God, she needed his reaction more than a spa day.

❝ I promise it’s just as good as black coffee. ❞

Okay, she was definitely trolling.

[leagueofdccm]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST-- his son was the supes anti-christ. Only Vought knew how to fuck that up, messing around with his spawn. He scoffs, a smirk lifting at the corner of his lips, eyes narrowing slightly. Like he gave a fuck about that, he meant it when he said he would have given Homelander the spotlight if they had told him what they had planned.

Yet instead of having some HEART-TO-HEART moment, he continues on with aggression. " America will THROW YOU AWAY like they did me, champ. Don't get used to it... you're replaceable. There will ALWAYS be a better you, and you fucking know it. "

Homelander's jaw clenched at the comment. He was feeling a million emotions at once, but he wouldn't let that show up for even a second on his face.

❝ You really do hate the fact that I'm BETTER than you, don't you? In every conceivable way, I am SUPERIOR. America fucking LOVES me, and it drives you insane. ❞

[leagueofdccm]

WHAT IS THAT ACHE WITHIN HIS CHEST ? Why does his heart beat sadly, pathetically for someone he hardly fucking knew ? ' because he is your son. ' a voice in his head whispered to him sorrowfully. the pang in his chest only increases, it's alarming when your emotions decide to kick you in the nuts and wrap you in a chokehold. Specifically when he's trying to let go of the knowledge of Homelander being his flesh and blood. He constantly has to remind himself of what Butcher said about his son--- that his son wasn't his, to begin with. He never had the opportunity to hold him as a baby, witness his first steps, or teach him his first words. He never experienced the delight of hearing his son call him ' dada ', he didn't get to do any of those things with Homelander--- shit, he didn't even know his name.... the urge is strong. But he knows once he gets a name for Homelander he doesn't think he'll be able to destroy him.  

His growl reverberates through the room, his grip on Homelander's jaw TIGHTENING with each passing moment. MEMORIES OF WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN flash before his eyes as Soldier Boy's hand trembles while forcing Homelander's head further back. His lips are pressed firmly in a tight, thin line, teeth clenched, and his heart races against his ribcage. Doesn't even activate the blast in his chest that he was implied to use against his son, doesn't even attempt to land a punch, a headbutt--- anything. THE FIGHT IS THERE, it's fucking there but he is struggling at the moment, and it's just pissing him off at how much of a pussy he's being. Their eyes meet and he can't fully tell what emotions are in Homelander's face, he can't entirely read his eyes--- doesn't want to, if he's being honest because he knows.

Opening his mouth to speak again, wanting to TAUNT his son, and provoke a fight rising within him. Anything to get a response out of him, anything to give him a reason for the two of them to fight to the fucking death. But all Homelander does is shove him away with enough strength for his hold to loosen. As if he wasn't even trying. ' I won't '-- Homelander had told him. Soldier Boy nearly wanted to plead to him to fucking do it--- FUCKING DO IT. Soldier Boy sighs, shaking his head in frustration. " You have to fight me ! Don't you get that ? Why are you holding back, huh ?! I came here to KILL YOU ?! Don't you fucking get that ? --- It's either you or me... one of us has to go. And I'm not going back into that damn box ! " He throws a punch, and he throws another one-- whether they landed or not, he doesn't know since he's aiming like a MAD MAN with just enough force to bruise Homelander, but not enough passion to knock him onto his feet. 

BUTCHER SHOUTING WORDS he can't fully hear at the moment. AND QUEEN MAEVE observes in silence the interaction between Soldier Boy and Homelander. She seems ready to jump in if needed, while Butcher is already itching to get in there not completely understanding why Soldier Boy wasn't listening, and almost anxious that Soldier Boy was harboring back his strength just because he discovered Homelander is his son.

This might be a mistake, and Butcher might have to consider putting Soldier Boy back into the box if he fails this.

" You need to fucking stop this whole hopeful shit--- It's not a good look on you. " Soldier Boy huffs out while still continuing to hurl punches, his shield raising as he uses it against Homelander. " What is there to fix ? Why do you want to fix anything with me when you don't even fucking know me, kid ?! How can we have something when that was taken from us by these fucking bastards !? Nothing can be fixed... and that's just the real world. You're just a mistake that should have never happened. I'm going to kill you. And that's the end of this father and son bonding time. You're just a waste of sperm. You are so thirsty for attention, desperate for the world to love you. That's weak, that's pathetic. " HE ALMOST WANTS TO LAUGH, LAUGH at how alike he is to his own old man, and he fucking loathes it--- feels a type of way knowing everything he's telling Homelander is everything his father would have told him.

The difference between him and his father though ? Is that he doesn't mean what he says... not really. HE'S TRYING -- TRYING to sound like he wants Homelander dead and gone... but he can't even convince himself that he wants that. With enough power in him, he slams his shield against Homelander's stomach, with his spare hand he reaches to grab his son's neck, back to the beginning, but this time he's not holding back---- not holding back... NOT.... ' he's your son. ' The damn voice begins pleading to Soldier Boy, pleading to him that if he's going to kill him to ask for his name... just ask him. 

" I- fucking fuck-- FUCK. I- I'm going to kil-- " The look on his face crumbles, swallowing the lump in his throat, he's going to regret not knowing his son's name. Even drowning himself in cocaine won't help get rid of the feeling. His head bows, chin to chest, eyes shutting for a brief moment. " What-- what is your... name ? what's your name ? What--- tell me. "

❛❛ YES, I AM! ❜❜ HOMELANDER RETORTED with a growl at butcher's interference, at the same time as his father — surprisingly enough — told butcher to fuck off, which sparked a glimmer of hope within the supe, until the next sets of words that followed.

and for a moment, his father's voice almost seemed to merge with the voices of vogelbaum and edgar's from his past, in his mind. you're a disappointment. a mistake. a failure. bad product. and the reminder, of all the things he had sacrificed just for an ounce of recognition; his childhood for vogelbaum, his blind loyalty to vought for edgar, and now, killing his only real friend, to protect his father from a vengeful black noir who desired to kill him... he had nothing left to give of himself, and still, it was not enough... he was never enough.

and at last, his confident facade began to crack, his face paling ever so slightly as his fears once again became reality. ❛❛ you don't believe that. ❜❜ in that moment, he almost felt like a child again, still desperately clinging onto hope that wasn't there.

and as his father went on, about how he couldn't trust him, all he could do was shake his head in silent disagreement, because if there was one thing he would never do, it was betray family. he knew what it was like, to be mistreated and betrayed by the ones who were supposed to love you, care about you, be there for you, by your side, no matter what, through thick and thin. he knew what it was like to be in a box, which is what his entire childhood had been; just four, cold reinforced, white walls and a single blanket to keep him company. he knew what it was like to be on top and still be the loneliest man in the world.

not that soldier boy had any way of knowing any of that since they'd never had the chance to get to know each other before now... but if he'd just give him a chance — the chance to prove that he was his son not only by blood, that he was worthy of it. if he'd just...

❛❛ if you'll just LISTEN TO ME for one mome- ❜❜ he tried, when his dad tried to cut the conversation short, wanting to tell him how much he could relate, and how WRONG he was in thinking that he wanted to use him. ( as if he couldn't deal with butcher and co on his own. ) though before he could finish the sentence, fingers grabbed his jaw VIOLENTLY, forcing his head to tilt back with a strength that nearly matched his own.

' fucking fight me. '

a sharp breath was drawn, one of surprise, of shock. he'd been here so many times before as a kid, another supe grabbing onto him like he was a ragdoll, trying to PROMPT him to fight, when all it did was SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF HIM, over and over, until he finally broke and fought back, only to realize he'd had the upper hand all along. that he shouldn't fear them — they should fear him.

but this was different. this wasn't just some random supe coming at him. this was his dad. how could he fight back, knowing that? he had to give it to william; he'd found an effective weakness to weaponize against him. eyes briefly flickered over to butcher on the sidelines, knowing fully well this is exactly what he'd planned for, hating him for it.

wincing more so in emotional pain than physical, he looked back at his dad again, pleadingly. ❛❛ i won't, ❜❜ he breathed out, before using his hands to SHOVE HIM BACK, away from himself, but that's also all he did. refusing to fight back, hoping that would show him it wasn't too late to be a family.

if worse came to worst, he would fight, because he still had ryan waiting for him back home, and he refused to be beat now that he finally had someone to care about, someone who needed him. but he hoped it wouldn't come to that; having to choose between his own father and his own son. his stance became more defensive now, ready to block or move out of the way of any attacks his father might throw at him next. ❛❛ don't do this. it's not too late to fix things. ❜❜

[leagueofdccm]

SOLDIER BOY GLANCED AROUND HIS SURROUNDINGS AT THE STAR-BUCKS. HIS EYES NARROWING a little too dangerously as if daring anybody to come and tell him anything ! The supe didn't give a RAT'S ASS how he was acting... they have no idea what the fuck he's been through, and why he's so pissed OFF AT THE WORLD. He gets none of these people had anything to do with why he was put away, he gets that they are innocent in all this. Still, waking up and finding how the world changed without him, how everyone moved on with Soldier Boy out of sight, out of mind. That shit hurt. You do so much for your fellow Americans.... he wasn't perfect, he's a fucking mess. But shit, it hurt more than he would like to acknowledge.

Turning his head back to Michelle and the cafe lady, his hands shoved into the pockets of his gray hoodie, grumbling to himself about his ' back in the day ' bullshit. Even though his eyes are dancing across the details of this coffee shop, he still hears Michelle speaking, ordering her---- Frappawappa of what the fuck-ah. His eyes widened slightly at the length of the name, it was a mouth full. Feeling her eyes on him, he flickers his right back to make eye contact, eyebrow raised in questioning. Hearing her order his drink and he's losing his shit.... AGAIN.

" Caffe Amer-- Americano ?! That sounds more Italian doesn't it ?! Why call it Americano ? What happened to just BLACK COFFEE ! What type of pussy coffee place is this ?! Frappa- whatever sounds like some lady leaking out of her pussy ! And Americano just sounds like when an Italian and American get together to fuck and BAM ! -- You call it the Americano ! Fuck, when did things get so fucking extra ? " Whispering the last part to himself as he turns on his heel and makes his way to a nearby table for them to sit in. Plopping down on his chair, legs spread out, his upper body hunched over slightly with his elbows pressed on top of his knees, and his hands cupping his cheeks as he waited for Michelle.

Michelle issued a long, silent sigh as she listened to his rant about coffee. Why, why, WHY was he like this? No, she knew why. She understood this world was technically new to him, but he was just so-- DRAMATIC.

The barista's expression was a combination of confused and slightly terrified. All the customers turned to look at him. Michelle laughed lightly to try and lighten the very real tension that filled the store.

❝ Sorry, sorry! You'll have to forgive my friend, he's not really from around here. Aaanyway!! I'll have a venti white chocolate espresso mocha frappaccino. Name for the order is Michelle-- and my friend will have a venti-- ❞

She turns to Soldier Boy for a moment before going on, ❝ --Caffe Americano. ❞

[leagueofdccm]

GRASPING EACH AND EVERY SINGLE WORD that spilled past Homelander's mouth. Words like ' son ' would scorch his brain permanently, which he knows will forever taint his mind without much effort needed. Branding unwanted emotions that he thought he laid to rest. Fucking shit all the drugs were doing was making him confused, thoughts all scrabbled up. Not enough cocaine, or weed in his system was able to take away what was HOLDING HIM BACK from having his fist collide against his son's face. This made the sting of knowing Homelander was his DNA much more real, and complicated. Maybe if he had never known they'd be FIGHTING TO THE DEATH right about fucking now... but he's hesitating, defense is up, the fire is DEEP within him-- but his feet won't move.

" Oi ! Don't listen to him ! He may have your blood, but you didn't raise that lil' cunt ! He was never yours to begin with ! He ain't yours now ! " BUTCHER'S VOICE BREAKS THROUGH Soldier Boy's tortured thoughts. Shaking his head, eyes squeezing shut as forbidden memories began to flash behind his eyelids, the screams ! The agony ! He can't BREATHE ! The atmosphere feels heavy, everything suddenly feels like it's closing in on him and he needs to do SOMETHING ! He's back in that room, he can feel himself slipping and he needs to get it together, fucking get it together. " Fuck off why don't you ! " He calls out to BUTCHER, teeth clenched angrily. " I didn't raise you. You're a disappointment... a FUCKING MISTAKE... you don't matter to me, this- this doesn't matter. You can't matter. Maybe if they had let me stay, to begin with, things would have been different for us... but there's no fixing loss time."

YOU'RE NOT MINE. YOU'RE. NOT. MINE. He repeated to himself mentally, desperately trying to persuade himself that it was true. SOLDIER BOY stood with a defiant posture, his feet shuffling as if was preparing to lunge at Homelander at any moment. " And you're any different ? I should trust you just because you're my son ? You just want to use me to get rid of them. Sounds no different now does it, buddy ? Wouldn't be the first that someone I'm supposed to love has backstabbed me.... used my love to wrench me around and hurl me aside. Lock me away-- put me in a box, as if my dedication to bullshitted America meant nothing ! But here's a lesson kid, once you're on top nobody gives a rat's ass about you ! At least with these stupid fucks, they aren't my family, they aren't my team so it will be easier to deal with the betrayal " Despite the possibility that they might discard him like a used-up object, he was determined to fight until his last breath. He refused to go back into that box, never again.

" We aren't a bunch of girls having a cup of coffee here, champ ! I'm tired of this back-and-forth shit. Talk is cheap ; let's fucking do this. " And then, against all odds, he does what he never thought he could. Every fiber in his being, all his pent-up aggression, and his fighting spirit propel him as he reaches for Homelander's jaw. His grip is threatening, his hold menacing. He raises his shield and, with gritted teeth, he growls." Fucking fight me. "

their little issue? that's all he was to him? no. homelander refused to accept that. why else would soldier boy have called him, telling him the situation had changed, that homelander was his son, that they should talk, if there was not at least a part of him that truly meant that.

❛❛ i'm your son, ❜❜ he corrected him, through gritted teeth. ❛❛ you didn't know that when you took the deal. ❜❜ otherwise, there would have been no reason for the situation to have changed. watching his father raise his infamous shield, staring him down, homelander could have easily returned the hostility. anyone else would have gained a burnt hole through their skull just for trying to take him on. instead, he's prepared to defend himself if needs be, but he remains on the defense for now, as he continues trying to talk his father out of whatever twisted sense of loyalty he'd convinced himself he owed butcher and his ragtag gang of misfits.

❛❛ you don't owe those people a fucking thing. the only reason they helped you? is because they want to get rid of us, and once you're done being useful to them, you'll be next on their list. is upholding a promise really worth that much to you? ❜❜

[leagueofdccm]

" Wada, wada, wada ? The FUCK did you just say ? " HE'S A LITTLE WOUNDED at the insult of how coffee back in his day didn't live up to the hype of coffee's nowadays. Coffee back in the day had some nicely FRESH cocaine in that shit ! Well, at least his coffee did, that's what got him going in the early mornings. Confusion ran across his features, eyes flickering from Michelle to the menu behind the lady grinning at them- or, it seems, forcing a smile more like it. She was irritated at how long they were taking, but he didn't give a FLYING FUCK. His hands were placed firmly on his hips, shaking his head to himself. He still doesn't fucking get it.

Fuck, he should have just told her to go get him a pack of beer. He raises a single hand up, one finger raised in thought as if he's trying to recall what she had told him. " Okay, okay... What the fuck ever happened to have some old fashion black coffee. That shit was for MEN'S ! Straight black coffee from the pot. No sugar, no cream-- that shit was for pussies. But now you're speaking some absurd shit of--- white chocolate-- Frappa-Wappa whatever with some rocha? Mocha ? The- fuck did you say ?! When did America get so fucking extra ?! Fuck-- fuck you looking at ?! Don't look at us like that ! " He spits out angrily at the cashier who now shifts her gaze quickly to dodge his glare.

Michelle couldn't believe she was actually having this conversation. She knew it made sense considering the man's circumstances-- BUT STILL.

❝ Not all change is bad, ya know. The coffee ya had back then? Sorry, but it doesn't compare. Trust me. Ya need to try the white chocolate espresso mocha frappaccino, and then we'll see if you're still talkin' that sorta nonsense. ❞

[leagueofdccm]

WHEN DID THINGS GET SO FUCKED UP ?! His life took a twist when he sold his soul to the devil aka motherfucking Vought bastards. He recalls his asshole of a father telling him how he CHEATED... how he took a shortcut, the EASY WAY ! Letting these fuckers pump some Compound V into his veins-- and the rest was history. He became somebody in the public eye, a celebrity ! A HERO ! America's Son. He gained many titles proudly once upon a time, but none made him as proud as the title father did. It ran through his mind like a broken record. He was a father, he had a little boy out there... a little boy who wasn't so little, but still.... his son.

Hearing how Vought replaced him with someone FRESHER, someone NEWER only hurt because it wasn't just some random son-of-a-bitch. It was his own little sperm spawn that had replaced him. It hurt--- because those FUCKERS took away the one chance he had in being a father, a good father not like his old man who saw him as nothing but a nuisance. Things really could have been different for him... for his son.

Yet, he couldn't be happy.... not when his son was the same person he had to KILL for these people. They helped him hunt his targets down, and he helped them hunt theirs. He drank at least a couple of bottles of beer to get his emotions under control. Butcher told him that he didn't raise Homelander so it wasn't like Homelander was his son to begin with. That blood didn't mean shit.

Maybe that was true, but that didn't STOP the hurt. Now, face to face with Homelander once again, but this time with a newfound feeling.... knowing this wasn't just some supe for him to kill, but he'd have to fight HIS SON TO THE DEATH. He keeps himself composed, any type of emotion unreadable, his stance threatening as he glared down at the red, white, and blue man before him. His son. He can feel Butcher watching closely at the two supes interacting. Jeez fuck, can't even have a moment with these people watching like a fucking hawk. Soldier Boy raises his shield, fist tightening. HE DOESN'T KNOW if he's just putting on a show, or if he really is prepared to take down Homelander. It's all a fucking headache to him. The faster he rips off the bandaid, the less painful it'll be. " A deal was a deal... they helped me take down those who backstabbed me, and I take out their little issue in return. "

like so many times in his life, he bites back the pain in his chest with a forced, tight-lipped smile. up until this month, the thought of a mom or a dad had been nothing but a child's dream that died a long time ago. the sheer joy of finding out his father was still alive couldn't be put into words, and yet, that joy had quickly been crushed as well, upon realizing he had chosen the enemy over his very own son. not even giving him so much as a chance. it hurt, and it infuriated him all at the same time, the pot of barely-contained emotions almost boiling over.

❛❛ of course not, ❜❜ he shook his head, voice sounding more confident than he felt, as he glanced around the place before turning his focus back onto his father, that thin smile ever present. ❛❛ no, i'm just curious if you know just who you've chosen over your own son. or if you even care to know? ❜❜