#😶🙃😒

[my-thirteenth-reason]

OKKKK WTFFF I REPLIED AND I ACRLY HAD A DECENT SHORT CONVO WITH HIM LIKE OMFG AND HE ACTLY HAHAHAHAHAHD AND LOLED IN CAPITAL MULTIPLE TIMES IM SMILING AND ROCKING MYSELF RN

[pjackk]

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[mackjlee9]

did it!

drank sum waterrrr

Wow, that was quick, babe, but try to stay hydrated, I'll try to do that too ☺☺

[pasta5284]

trying to sleep but am plagued by the horrors yknow how it is

[bisexualadamparrish]

having the worst fucking 24 hours 🤪

[meowzfordayz]

when you forget to close the door while using the bathroom

Author’s Note: this isn’t nsfw, but it’s ~explicit for other reasons. 🚽🧻💩 #shitposting #literally

when you forget to close the door while using the bathroom

Hashira x Reader, Kamaboko x Reader

Word Count: ~800

CW: explicit language, poop references

~faqs~

Do you even love him ????? 😭😭😭

WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN?!?!?! 🫠😵‍💫🤢

Haunted by your little gasps for air 🙃

Can’t take intimacy srsly for a while

Bc whenever you gasp ~cutely into your kisses 🥰

Zenitsu just flashes back to you doing your best to take a shit 😮‍💨🥴

Highkey takes it as a challenge 😏

A display of dominance, if you will 😎

Nods in approval (not that you can see him)

And takes ~notes for later (aka yes, he is listening closely 💀) 

You don’t know it yet

But Inosuke’s already planning his move

Drink a ton of coffee (he’ll have to ask Tanjirou how to brew it) ☕️

Eat a ton of dairy 🧀🥛🍦

Make sure you’re home 😌

Take a shit (w/ the door open, ofc) 🤗

THAT’LL SHOW YOU WHO’S BOSS !!!!! 😤😤😤🫡

King of the Toilet anyone??? 🚽👑

Wonders why everything sounds louder??? 😬

A respectful gentleman tho ☺️

Will go upstairs to avoid the plops ��

Too bad his hearing’s phenomenal, even when hiding on top of the roof 😃

A little irritated 🙄

But whatever

You prob just reeeally had to go

He understands 😶

Will nonchalantly ask you about it the next time you’re out w/ friends 🤨

Is getting ignored for the rest of the night worth it? 🙃

Kinda 🥲

Obanai has regrets 😞

Can smell the situation from a mile away 😅

Tbf, closing the door wouldn’t have helped much 😬

Has to contemplate whether it’s worth embarrassing you over

Like, does he gently ask, “Love, would you mind closing the door?”

Or does he wince grin and bear it

Unfortunately, the toilet paper he would use to plug up his nose is currently unobtainable 🧻☹️

Should he just knock himself out for now? 🤗

You’d prob be upset if he didn’t wake up in time… 😒

Hm… 😔

😵 <— Tanjirou inhaled too deeply

“BAAABE, YOU FORGOT TO CLOSE THE DOORRR!!!!!” 🩷💕💞💓💗💖💘💝

Giggles to herself as the door slams shut 🤭

(you’re not mad, but you had to kick it closed bc it’s a lil far from the toilet seat 😅)

Holds it against you 😌

~

“Shinobu, could you get me a glass of water?” ☺️

“I don’t know, my dear, could you close the bathroom door?” 😃

~

“Shinobu, I want a kiss.” 🥺

“Mm, and I want to forget your pooping noises. I guess we can’t always have what we want.” 😃

Chuckles to himself, at first 🤭

And then becomes concerned 😕

Is it supposed to sound like that? 🙁

Or take this long?? ☹️ Should he intrude? 😖

It’s not like there’s a closed door for him to bust down…

He could just, waltz in-

NO

Internally scolds himself: Bad idea, [y/n] would not appreciate that!

Returns to the drawing board

And settles on a careful (once you’ve returned to him), “So, my love, are your bowels feeling okay?” ☺️

🧐😒😠 <— you

😶😬😁 <— him

“They just, uh, sounded wonderful earlier?!”

“Next time, how about closing the door?”

*Sanemi is casually leaning against a wall near the bathroom entrance*

You shriek 😳

And smack his shoulder 😡

“Sanemi!!!!! Do not wait outside the bathroom like that!!!!!” 😭

“Did you wash your hands?” 😏

“SANEMI!” 😒

“... well?” 👀

You are not amused 😐

He acquiesces 😅

“Okay, okay, I confess, I heard the sink running.” 🤓

“I hate you.” 🥲

“But you trust me enough to shit with the door open.” 🥰

“Piss off.” 🙄

“I’m about to!” 🫡

(bc, y’know, he’s about to go… piss… 😆)

Doesn’t really mind

Will prob forget to remind you about it later 🙃

Until the next time you do it

…

By the fourth incident, Muichiro gives up

If anything, he’s flattered you’re so comfortable around him ☺️

Altho he is a lil worried about your ability to use a public bathroom 😶

Def uncomfortable 😕

But even more uncomfortable at the thought of discussing ~it w/ you ☹️

Giyuu knows you wouldn’t be upset

Or even embarrassed

You have like, 0 shame, as he’s both lovingly and unfortunately come to learn ☺️😬

Which means

If he mentioned it, then you’d likely end up teasing him 🫠

“Love me so much, you’ve even gotta listen to me poop?” 😉

*shudder shudder* 😭

(I mean, yes, he does love you that much, but when you put it like that 🥴)

Giyuu settles on hoping that it was a one time mistake 🤞🙏

Good luck 😃

Tengen’s never letting you live it down 😝

Will write out instructions on “How to Use a Bathroom” 🤓

And stick ‘em on both sides of the door

Step 1: Open the door

Step 2: CLOSE THE DOOR

Step 3: ✨Do your thing✨

[ripempezardexerox]

Believe me when I tell you:

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[unlicensedcardiologist]

Mfs when they find out autism is a spectrum: 😀😃😄😁😆🥹😅😂🤣😍😌😉🙃🙂😇😊☺️🥲🥰😘😗😙😚😋😛😝😜😏🥳🤩🥸😎🤓🧐🤨🤪😒😞😔😟😕🙁☹️😣😖🤬😡😠😤😭😢🥺😩😫🤯😳🥵🥶😶‍🌫️😱😨😰😥🫠🤫🫡🫢🤭🫣🤔🤗😓🤥😶🫥😐🫤😑😬🙄😯😮‍💨😪🤤😴🥱😲😮😧😦😵😵‍💫🤐🥴🤢🤮🤧😷🤒💩🤡👺👹👿😈🤠🤑🤕👻💀☠️👽👾🤖🎃😺😸🤲🫶😾😿🙀😽😼😻😹👐🙌👏🤝👍👎✊🤛👊🤏🤌👌🤘🤟🫰✌️🤞🤜🫳🫴👈👉👆👇☝️✋🤚🖕🦾💪🫱🫲🤙👋🖖🖐✍️🙏🫵🦶🦵🦿💄💋👄👀👁👣👃🦻👂👅🦷🫦🫀���🧠🗣👤👥🫂👶👧👩‍🦰👨‍🦱🧑‍🦱👩‍🦱👨🧑👩👦🧒🧑‍🦰👨‍🦰👱‍♀️👱👱‍♂️👩‍🦳🧑‍🦳👨‍🦳👩‍🦲👲👴🧓👵🧔‍♂️🧔🧔‍♀️👨‍🦲🧑‍🦲👳‍♀️👳👳‍♂️🧕👮‍♀️👮👮‍♂️👷‍♀️👷🧑‍⚕️👩‍⚕️🕵️‍♂️🕵️🕵️‍♀️💂‍♂️💂💂‍♀️👷‍♂️👨‍⚕️👩‍🌾🧑‍🌾👩‍🍳🧑‍🍳👨‍🍳👩‍🎓🧑‍🎓👨‍🌾🧑‍🏭👩‍🏭👨‍🏫🧑‍🏫👩‍🏫👨‍🎤🧑‍🎤👩‍🎤👨‍🎓👨‍🏭👩‍💻🧑‍💻👨‍💻👩‍💼🧑‍💼👨‍💼👩‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🚒👩‍🚒👨‍🎨🧑‍🎨👩‍🎨👨‍🔬🧑‍🔬👩‍🔬👨‍🔧👨‍🚒👩‍✈️🧑‍✈️👨‍✈️👩‍🚀🧑‍🚀👨‍🚀👩‍⚖️🧑‍⚖️🫅👸🤵‍♂️🤵🤵‍♀️👰‍♂️👰👰‍♀️👨‍⚖️🤴🥷🦸‍♀️🦸🦸‍♂️🦹🦹‍♂️🤶🦹‍♀️🧌🧝‍♂️🧝🧝‍♀️🧙‍♂️🧙🧙‍♀️🎅🧑‍🎄🧛‍♀️🧛🧛‍♂️��‍♀️🧟🧟‍♂️🧞‍♀️🧞🧞‍♂️🫄🤰👼🧚‍♂️🧚🧚‍♀️🧜‍♂️🧜🧜‍♀️🫃🤱👩‍🍼🧑‍🍼👨‍🍼🙇‍♀️🙇🙇‍♂️💁‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙆‍♂️🙆🙆‍♀️🙅‍♂️🙅🙅‍♀️💁‍♂️💁🙋🙋‍♂️🧏‍♀️🧏🧏‍♂️🤦‍♀️🤦🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️💇‍♀️🙍‍♂️🙍🙍‍♀️🙎‍♂️🙎🙎‍♀️🤷‍♂️🤷💇💇‍♂️💆‍♀️💆💆‍♂️🧖‍♀️🧖🧖‍♂️💅🧑‍🦽👩‍🦽🕴👯‍♂️👯👯‍♀️🕺💃🤳👨‍🦽🧑‍🦼👨‍🦼🚶‍♀️🚶🚶‍♂️👩‍🦯🧑‍🦯🧍🧍‍♀️🏃‍♂️🏃🏃‍♀️🧎‍♂️🧎🧎‍♀️👨‍🦯🧍‍♂️👫👭👬👩‍❤️‍👨👩‍❤️‍👩💑👨‍❤️‍👨👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨👩‍👩‍👦👨‍👩‍👧‍👧👨‍👩‍👦‍👦👨‍👩‍👧‍👦👨‍👩‍👧👨‍👩‍👦👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨💏👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍👩‍👧👩‍👩‍👧‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👧‍👧👨‍👨‍👦👨‍👨‍👧👨‍👨‍👧‍👦👨‍👨‍👦‍👦👨‍👨‍👧‍👧👨‍👦‍👦👨‍👧‍👦👨‍👧👨‍👦👩‍👧‍👧👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👧‍👦👩‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧‍👧🪢🧶🧵🪡🧥🥼🦺👚👘🩱👙👗👔🩳🩲👖👕🥻🩴🥿👠👡👢👞👟🥾🪖⛑👒🎓🧢🎩🧣🧤🧦👑💍👝👛👜💼🎒🧳👓🌂🥽🕶❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍💖💗💓💞💕❣️❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥💔💘💝♡♥︎❥❦❧☙❢এლდღɞʚෆᰔᩚᰔঞଓᜊᥫ᭡ꨄஐᦗ🐶🐱🐭🐹🐰🦊🐻🐼🐻‍❄️🙈🐵🐸🐽🐷🐮🦁🐯🐨🙉🙊🐒🐔🐧🐦🐤🐣🐥🐝🦄🐴🐗🐺🦇🦉🦅🦆🪱🐛🦋🐌🐞🐜🪰🪲🪳🦖🦎🐍🐢🦂🕸🕷🦗🦟🦕🐙🦑🦐🦞🦀🐡🐠🐟🦓🐆🐅🐊🦭🦈🐋🐳🐬🦍🦧🦣🐘🦛🦏🐪🐫🦒🐑🐏🐖🐎🐄🐂🐃🦬🦘🦙🐐🦌🐕🐩🦮🐕‍🦺🐈🐈‍⬛🕊🦩🦢🦜🦚🦤🦃🐓🪶🐇🦝🦨🦡🦫🦦🦥🐁🐀🌳🌲🎄🌵🐲🐉🐾🦔🐿🌴🪵🌱🌿☘️🍀🎍🪴🎋🪨🪸🐚🍄🪹🪺🍁🍂🍃🌾💐🌷🌹🥀🪷🌺🌸🌼🌗🌖🌕🌚🌜🌛🌝🌞🌻🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌙🌎🌍🌏🔥💥☄️⚡️✨🌟⭐️💫🪐🌪🌈☀️🌤⛅️🌥☁️🌦🌧💧💨🌬⛄️☃️❄️🌨🌩⛈💦🫧☔️☂️🌊🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍌🍉🍇🍓🍅🥝🥥🍍🥭🍑🍒🍈🫐🍆🥑🥦🥬🥒🌶🫑🌽🥕🥖🍞🥯🥐🍠🥔🧅🧄🫒🥨🧀🥚🍳🧈🥞🧇🥓🥩🥪🫓🍕🍟🍔🌭🦴🍖🍗🥙🧆🌮🌯🫔🥗🥘🫕🥫🦪🥟🍱🍣🍛🍲🍜🍝🫙🍤🍙🍚🍘🍥🥠🥮🍢🍡🍭🍮🎂🍰🧁🥧🍦🍨🍧🍬🍫🍿🍩🍪🌰🥜🫘🍯🧋🥤🧃🍵☕️🫖🍼🫗🥛🍶🍺🍻🥂🍷🥃🍸🍹🧉🧂🥢🥡🥣🍽🍴🥄🧊🍾⚽️🏀🏈⚾️🥎🎾🏐🏉🥏🪃🏏🥍🏑🏒🏸🏓🪀🎱🥅⛳️🪁🛝🏹🎣🤿🥊🥋🏂⛷🎿🥌⛸🛷🛼🛹🎽🪂🏋️‍♀️🏋️🏋️‍♂️🤼‍♀️🤼🤼‍♂️🤸‍♀️🤸🏌️‍♀️🤾‍♂️🤾🤾‍♀️🤺⛹️‍♂️⛹️⛹️‍♀️🤸‍♂️🏌️🏌️‍♂️🏇🧘‍♀️🧘🧘‍♂️🏄‍♀️🏄🏄‍♂️🚣‍♂️🚣🚣‍♀️🤽‍♂️🤽🤽‍♀️🏊‍♂️🏊🏊‍♀️🧗‍♀️🧗🧗‍♂️🚵‍♀️🚵🚵‍♂️🚴‍♀️🚴🚴‍♂️🎫🎗🏵🎖🏅🥉🥈🥇🏆🎟🎪🤹‍♀️🤹🤹‍♂️🎭🩰🎨🎬🪗🎺🎷🪘🥁🎹🎼🎧🎤🎸🪕🎻🎲♟🎯🎳🎮🎰🧩🚗🚕🚙🚌🚎🏎🚓🚑🚒🩼🦼🦽🦯🚜🚛���🛻🚐🛴🚲🛵🏍🛺🛞🚨🚔🚍🚝🚞🚋🚃🚟🚠🚡🚖🚘🚄🚅🚈🚂🚆🚇🚊🚉✈️🛶🚁🛸🚀🛰💺🛩🛬🛫⛵️🚤🛥🛳🚢🛟⛴⚓️🪝🗼🗽🗿🗺🚏🚥🚦🚧⛽️🏰🏯🏟🎡🎢🎠⛲️⛱🏖🛖⛺️🏕🗻🏔⛰🌋🏜🏝🏠🏡🏘🏚🏗🏭🏢🏬🏣🏛💒🏩🏫🏪🏨🏦🏥🏤⛪️🕌🕍🛕🕋⛩🛤🛣🗾🌆🌇🎆🎇🌠🌄🌅🏞🎑🏙🌃🌌🌉🌁⌚️📱📲💻⌨️🖥🖨🖱🖲📸📷📼📀💿💾💽🗜🕹📹🎥📽🎞📞☎️📟📠📺🕰⏰⏲⏱🧭🎛🎚🎙📻⌛️⏳📡🔋🪫🔌💡🔦🕯🪙💷💶💴💵💸🛢🧯🪔💰💳🪪💎⚖️🪜🧰🪛🔧🧱🪤⚙️🔩🪚⛏🛠⚒🔨⛓🧲🔫💣🧨🪓🔪🗡⚔️🧿📿🔮🏺⚱️🪦⚰️🚬🛡🪬💈⚗️🔭🔬🕳🩻🩹🩺🧹🌡🧪🧫🦠🧬🩸💉💊🪠🧺🧻🚽🚰🚿🛁🛀🧼🚪🗝🔑🛎🧴🪣🧽🪒🪥🪑🛋🛏🛌🧸🪆🖼🪞🪟🎊🪅🪄🎀🎏🎈🎁🛒🛍🎉🎎🏮🎐🪩🧧✉️📩📨📫📪🪧🏷📦📤📥💌📧📬📭📮📯📜📃📄📑🧾📇🗑📅📆🗓🗒📉📈📊🗃🗳🗄📋📂📁🗂🗞📰📖📚📙📘📗📕📒📔📓🔖🧷🔗📎🖇📐📏🧮📌✏️📝🖍🖌✒️🖋🖊✂️📍🔍🔎🔏🔐🔒🔓❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍⚪️⚫️🟤🟣🔵🟢🟡🟠🔴🟥🟧🟨🟩🟦🟫⬛️⬜️❤️‍🩹❣️❤️‍🔥💔🏿🏾🏽🏼🏻💕💞💓💗💖💘💝💟☮️☦️☯️🕎🔯✡️☸️🕉☪️✝️🛐⛎♈️♉️♊️♋️♌️♍️♎️⚛️🆔♓️♒️♑️♐️♏️🉑☢️📴📳🈶🈚️🈸🈺🈷️✴️🈲🈹🈵🈴㊗️㊙️🉐💮🆚🅰️🅱️🆎🅾️🆑🆘❌⭕️🛑🚳🚯🚷♨️💢💯🚫📛⛔️🚱🔞📵🚭❗️❕❓❔‼️🔰⚜️🔱🚸⚠️〽️🔆🔅⁉️♻️✅🈯️💹❇️✳️❎🌐💠🈳🛗🅿️♿️🚾🏧💤🌀Ⓜ️🈂️🛂🛃🛄🛅🚹🚺🚼⚧🔡🔤ℹ️🔣🈁📶🎦🚮🚻🔠🆖🆗🆙🆒🆕🆓0️⃣1️⃣🔟9️⃣8️⃣7️⃣6️⃣5️⃣4️⃣3️⃣2️⃣🔢#️⃣*️⃣⏏️▶️⏸⏯⏹⏺🔽🔼◀️⏬⏫⏪⏩⏮⏭➡️⬅️⬆️⬇️↗️↘️↙️↖️↕️🔄🔂🔁🔀⤵️⤴️↩️↪️↔️🔃🎵🎶➕➖➗✖️🟰♾️🔛🔙🔚👁‍🗨®️©️™️💱💲🔝🔜〰️➰➿✔️☑️🔘🔺▫️▪️🔲🔳🔷🔶🔹🔸🔻◾️◽️◼️◻️🔈🔇🔉🔊🔔♥️♣️♠️🗯💭💬📢📣🔕♦️🃏🎴🀄️🕐🕑🕒🕓🕔🕝🕜🕛🕚🕙🕘🕗🕖🕕🕞🕟🕠🕡🕢🕣🕤🕥🕦🕧🏳️🏴🏴‍☠️🏁🚩🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇺🇳🇮🇸🇦🇱🇦🇼🇦🇷🇩🇿🇦🇪🇺🇸🇦🇫🇦🇿🇮🇪🇦🇲🇦🇮🇦🇴

[operationnope]

Vol XII

I was so excited to be Kyle’s gf, I totally forgot all other thoughts about the new eps 😂🤪 (I was also distracted playing the update for RC)

I mean, that was the absolute highlight. Now here’s the rest:

HR Challenge- NO. I’m with @mrsbsmooth and Sienna made that shit up. And then Kyle’s “she licked my ear” bs excuse. It’s like fusebox wants hate 😒

Hazel- STOP. Why are you so mad at Hari WHEN YOU DID BITS WITH LIAM?! She makes no sense, and I’m over her antics 🙄

Logan- He confused me. He’s def cuter than I thought, without the HR costume. But sometimes he was icky, and others he had me like 👀 I landed on 🤷🏻‍♀️

Pancakes- Fb tried and failed. Remember S2 when we had to recall left, right, up, down? They only gave us two choices, and even if you followed instructions Sienna won?! I did flirt with Kyle… did anyone win? Lemme know 😘

Dumping #1- Jack and Sophie (problematic OG couple) somehow weren’t even the most annoying couple anymore, but got dumped. Sure, they overshared and were messy, but I can think of others who I would rather see go…

Final Recoupling- uneventful except Liam going home. I mean, I was already with Kyle because I lied to Jin 🙃 So yay, together still 💕

Dumping #2- Sienna peace out 🎉 She had no dirt, so she sounded like a whiner. I tried to ignore her and my man stepping in 😏🔥 Got up on the bench to tell her off, but I don’t really feel satisfied. Wish we could’ve pushed her in the pool, or have her partner tell her to shut it 🤫

Ready for the hideaway!! We’ve got six episodes left. Hopefully fb uses them wisely. But I won’t hold my breath 😶

[shit-ultrakill-imagines]

Imagine how bad those robots covered in gore and viscera smell. 😒😐😶🤐😶‍🌫️😕🙃

boo this guy is neutral about gore and viscera covered robots

[captainwans]

★ . . . ❛ ━━ BEN CHILWELL x FEM!READER.

( MASTERLIST! )

Liked by yourbestfriend, sasha__rebecca and others

yourinstagram 🧚🏼✨

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yourbestfriend no photo creds? 🤨

benchilwell excuse you i took the picture

yourbestfriend and i took the other one ☝️

yourfriend 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

cmpulisic here we go again

username babe yourinstagram just posted

username the ✨ aesthetics ✨

kaihavrtz29 you’ve summoned me

sophiaamelia he’s literally kicking his feet giggling rn at the comment section

kaihavrtz29 it’s my favorite time of the day

yoursister looking at y/n comment section?

kaihavrtz29 yoursister don’t ruin my mood 😒

yourbestfriend watch it havertz you’re next

kaihavrtz29 😶😶

benchilwell good luck mate

kennedyalexa 🤍🤍

yourinstagram it’s right before i disable all the comments 🤦🏻‍♀️ guys behave

benchilwell you heard my girl

yourbestfriend like you’re the one to talk

masonmount 😭😭😭

reecejames pls-

odegaard.98 spar noe syltetøy til meg ��� ( save some jam for me )

yourinstagram skal det! 🤭 ( will do )

Liked by aliciaknebel, yoursister and others

yourinstagram italy has been treating us well 🇮🇹

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masonmount so that’s where chillys been hiding

yourinstagram sorry you’ll get him back in a week 🙈

benchilwell ❤️❤️

alexchilwell have so much fun you two 💕

yourinstagram thanks, lovie 🫶🏼

kaihavertz29 yourbestfriend has been real quiet

cmpulisic i’m actually concerned

username the beef between these two is the highlight of y/n comment section

masonmount agreed

username lmao mason

yourbestfriend enjoy your holiday love birds 🙂

kaihavertz29 and so she speaks!!

sophiaamelia babe not now

username ok but why that emoji tho?

username y’all are over-analyzing now 😭

benchilwell yourbestfriend that’s it?

yourbestfriend you expect me to give you a love letter mate? 🤨

kaihavertz29 *grabs popcorn*

username kai pls

username I CANT—

yourusername i don’t even know why i try anymore 🙃🙃

username y/n just wants to post man

username lowkey im loving this ngl

Liked by katrinefogtfriis, benchilwell and others

yourinstagram good day today ☀️

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katrinefogtfriis your captions are always slaying

yourinstagram you’re slaying girlie 💋

kaihavertz29 what about yourbestfriend?

username STOP

cmpulisic you’re making it worse man

yourfriend sophiaamelia pls come get ur man

sophiaamelia trust me i’m trying

username i’m crying and laughing at the same time

username i just love how everyone gathers around here tbh im all here for it

username i bet they have a group chat where they bicker and act like children just like the comment section

reecejames we actually do

username told ya

masonmount wonder who those flowers are from 👀😉

yourbestfriend definitely not from benchilwell

benchilwell and how do you know? you are literally at the other side of the globe 😑

rlc you guys need to make up 😭😭

📌 yourusername first things first, kaihavertz29 you’re so close to getting blocked (and sophia agrees)

yourusername benchilwell you’re sleeping on the couch tonight (don’t argue!)

yourusername yourbestfriend apologize to ben rn and i don’t want any buts i’m literally going to implode your brain

yourusername masonmount since you’re so curious of my flowers they are from my beautiful mother 🥰

yourusername and lastly, the rest of you, kindly stay away from my comment section my brain is hurting from all the spam 🫶🏼

cmpulisic yes ma’am 🫡

reecejames 👍🏼👍🏼

username i lost so many brain cells

username y’all listen to our queen

username this legit made my day

[chthonicgodling]

AN ELYSIUM DRAMA UPDATE!

via clip show✨ HEY! Did you miss one??! THE PREVIOUS UPDATE, HERE, IS SOOO IMPORTANT!!

starring: Neo & Raz! Maci & ELoki & Tory! And cameos by Celos & Pyralis, and even Skio!!

phew!!!

ha ha AHH I’m still playing really fast catch up on Elysium shenanigan updates before this baby is here!! HIII THE TAKI FUEGO BABY IS TECHNICALLY DUE ANY DAY NOWWWWW!! but I’ve been nerfed by my own brain so hopefully I can get back to the modern day before he’s actually here cause fgkfkfkg I’m dragging along artwise—

WELL! Rewinding back to June again!

After the DRAGON REVEAL🐉🐉🐉 about their SON (AGAIN, THAT UPDATE IS HERE LOL) and now that EeL’s back and situated nicely, it finally came time to tell the baby’s OTHER halfsibling pod about what was going on. Maci assembled a gathering of her and Tory’s kids (sans Chal/Eisa/Myra who were. all busy) for a formal announcement at long last! Amongst their two oldest - Raz is THRILLED! Dragon baby that’s so cool?!?!?! And Neo is—

😶🙃🙃 Ummm Neo issssssss….

Though Neo has no grudge against Loki *specifically,* she WAS there, at the age of 8, when Loki had Eisa and Einmyria with Tory a decade ago and thus bore witness to the explosive drama triggered at the time BECAUUUSE OF LOKI’S INVOLVEMENT. And!! Everyone knows he and Maci usually hate each other so!! What the Fuck is going on?!!! What sort of scheme is this?? WHAT’S HIS ULTERIOR MOTIVE?!!!!! NEO’S ONTO HIM AND NOT GONNA LET HIM GET AWAY WITH THIS—

(Idk how much of this I’ll really get to draw since my time is RUNNING OUT but) Tory at least did clock Neo’s DEATH GLARE OF SUSPICIOUS IRRITATION and has talked her through her worries (though Neo refuses to admit they’re worries. SHE doesn’t worry 😒…she said while actively worrying. It is quite unlike her!) and at this point in time PLUS a mental deep dive interrogated out of Ty and Bel to assuage her concerns Neo… has tentatively moved on…. But she’s Watching Him.

🤨 hmm.

Well!! The next formal Elysium Drama Update is already drawn but I have to see if I can fit something in the middle of it 🫢 MAYBE, mood & time willing! But… in the meantime here’s some choice clips grabbed from this much longer Canon Convo….Raz nd Neo both have such good faces in here ffkfk

Raz and Tory and all their orange dialogue together is aaallll @fenixethekid (Raz moments are sooo rare and this was SO GOOD) - I’ve got all these other wackos and all dialogue in pink and greeen!

[cherishingstydia]

eddie in 7x01: *ignoring any feelings about buck and natalia every day bc he’s a good friend and doesn’t want to acknowledge and dive into his potential deeper feelings for buck right then* 😒🤨😮‍💨🤐😑

buck: *desperately trying to find a way to immediately bring up that he and natalia broke up the next time he sees eddie while sounding as casual as possible and not give away his feelings for eddie* 🧐😓😶🙃😍

Right? I feel like Buck was waiting for the perfect moment to tell Eddie and then Eddie was just stunned to learn his man is officially on the market again.

[crazylittlejester]

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stay sigma!

DID YOU JUST SEND ME EVERY SINGLE EMOJI IN ORDER IM FUCKING CRYING OH MY GOD

i DID post mandarin wars anons fic!! well… the first chapter at least 😭 I REALLY HOPE THEY’RE ABLE TO SEE IT

and i’ll get to yours at some point don’t worry man, it just may not be a while i have school starting up soon (boooo)

[tonydaddingham]

running commentary masterpost on scene predictions/plot points that now that ive recovered and regained my composure im finally able to write it down

idk I just need to get some stuff exorcised the braincells are getting rowdy from the friction/electrical interference:

(under a cut bc a. length and b. cant not mention The spoiler)

- crowley ends up getting evicted from his flat because he's now unemployed and doesn't get to keep the perks

- ends up living out of the bentley/moving his material possessions (read: plants) around in the bentley, doesn't tell aziraphale bc idk pride? that's a sin, right? or bc it would prompt to az to offer house room but that would be making aziraphale go Too Fast?

- during all this, aziraphale has called him "there's something urgent I need to talk to you about 😭"

- so i reckon crowley has popped by the shop, lil chit chat w/e, brought along some delicious eccles cakes, and then found out about goob etc cue jump scare

- i then think (and this is entirely my head just filling in the blanks) he's actually said to aziraphale that they need to off him and just give him back to heaven, it's nothing to do with them anymore (not knowing that the goob/az/box conversation has happened ie the something terrible) and therefore aziraphale can't just yeet goob into the ether

- let's face it, communication is NOT our boys' strong suit, so this leads to a spat, crowley feeling like aziraphale is still caught up in being a proper angel, not on their side, and all leads to crowley summoning force lightning (that coincidentally hits the coffee shop with both maggie and nina inside... 👀)

- after having flounced off, crowley zoom zooms through london at night (slaloms around buses), pulls up at the bookshop

- comes to the shop, aziraphale is ignoring him reading his lil jukebox articles, and then rings the bell, "I'm back 😠" | "yes, i can see that 😒"

- im guessing aziraphale then tells him about this little jukebox mystery, and crowley offers to help him look into it, AND help him hide gabriel bc aziraphale manages to finally convey that there's a bigger issue at hand and maybe the jukebox thing is linked? "we'll do it together 😁" | "together? 😶"

- aziraphale's LARP of poirot begins

- muriel (aka baby) comes to investigate gabriel's disappearance, and turns up in the full Met Police uniform (ie from the trailer), has/looks at a cuppa with aziraphale, and then crowley arrives

- crowley apparently comes in carrying a plant (im guessing because bentley conditions are rather sub-optimal OR he needs the backseat space, and he needs to surreptitiously offload them into the shop)

- now i need to work out where crowley would have been re: "why didn't you go by train? you love trains 🙄", but im guessing he's been off having a look at stuff surrounding the jukebox mystery, because that's based in edinburgh?

- cue the clip with muriel and then where aziraphale and crowley are trying to not let muriel know that they know she's come from heaven, and then "word with you angel? in private? 🙃"

- i think this is where they surmise that she's come for gabriel, and is possibly when aziraphale then reiterates that "he's in trouble 🥺", and they need to protect him/hide from both heaven and hell because they need to work out what the something terrible is first

- they exit, find that goob has very happily been chatting with muriel for the entire duration, but he's just dusting the bookshelves and being Helpful™ so obvs he's just aziraphale 's assistant!!!! nothing fishy here!!!!!

- so muriel reports back to hq, but maybe michael and uriel cotton on? and send muriel back down to look into it further, to get between aziraphale and crowley because obviously they are together and will be weaker divided, so muriel starts doing her reconnaissance on Human Relationships (ie decides to ask nina bc that's just diligent field research)

idk that's all ive gotten so far and yeah is pretty inconsequential on its own and will only be like a small part of the storyline but i just want my thoughts memorialised so i can look back on them four weeks from now and laugh

bonus bit:

honestly pls discuss this with me im dying here

- The Kiss™ stems from aziraphale finally noticing that crowley has essentially been homeless, and grills him on why he didn't say anything, of course he could have moved in with him, he cares about him of course he was welcome, why are you wearing your glasses yada yada yada, "i didn't want to go too fast for you, i didn't want to push you", "i think by now i can keep up, crowley" and BOOM snog

edit: oh and another bit I forgot to mention:

- i highlighted that muriel is in the full Met dress above, reason being because in the promo pic of her, she's suddenly without her jacket, and just in a shirt and tie, so this would indicate she comes to the bookshop more than once?

[meowzfordayz]

hashira receive chocolate from you

Author’s Note: only a lil late for Valentine’s Day… 😅

hashira receive chocolate from you

Hashira x Reader

Word Count: ~1,100

CW: explicit language

Emergency Request Fulfilled: this sad b*tch could use an emergency request 😭 men have more audacity I swear

If possible could you do hashira men x female reacting to you bringing them chocolate on Valentine’s Day😭

~faqs~

Don’t mind the varying lengths of these headcanons 😆

I just wrote out scenarios as they popped into my brain

Aka not in order

Some are short and sweet; others are more fleshed out

Cries (happy tears)

—Duh 🤠

Good thing the chocolates are in a box, otherwise they’d be soaked 🙃

Also refuses to eat them w/o you present

Insists you take the first bite of every bonbon 🥺😋

VERY red 😡

—Apparently this is my go to hc for Obanai… he’s always red 😂

“Is this for me?” <— dangerously soft

Uhh- 😶 *cue awkward fiddling w/ the box of chocolates*

“Yes?”

“Are you sure?” <— somehow even softer

“... yes?!”

“Thank you.”

🤨🤨🤨

“You don’t want them,” you accuse, more embarrassed than anything

Obanai’s eyes widen

Barely

He’s still ~mostly glaring

😓 “It’s fine! They’re my favorite anyway! I’ll just-”

A firm (sweaty) palm on your shoulder stops you mid-stalking-away

“I’d like to have them,” he declares

“W-wha-whaaat?” 😳

“Thank you,” murmured again, gentle fingers prying the box from your grip, “How about we sit beneath that tree… andyousharethemwithme?”

Best believe not a single second of eye contact occurs

#shy boi

Also What did he just say? 😃

“NO WAAAY?!?!?!” 😍

“Mitsuri?”

You’re glad she’s so excited, but-? 😅

“I HAVE CHOCOLATE FOR YOU TOO !!!!!” 🍫💝

“NO WAAAY?!?!?!” 😍

—*sigh*

—What I’d give to swap chocolates w/ Mitsuri 🥺💞

“Sugar can lead to cavities.” 🧐

“Shinobu-”

“You want me to get cavities?”

“No, I-”

“What if I get-”

“Shinobu!”

“I’m kidding, darling!” 😃

😒😒😒 <— you rn

Shinobu leans in, pecking your cheek as she accepts your gift, “With you around, the harm’s already done.” 😉

… “Was that you flirting with me?”

“Yes, savor it.”

“Babe, that was so ba-”

“GOOD, [y/n], my flirting was so good.”

“Thank gosh that wasn’t your original approach.”

“You’re saying my flirting wouldn’t woo you, darling?” 😎

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” 💀

“Chocolate?!” 😁

You only wince a tad at Kyojuro’s booming excitement 😬

“For you.” ☺️

“For me !!!” 😁😁

If you take a step back to protect your poor ears, he doesn’t comment

“A token of my appreciation.”

“How thoughtful!” 😁😁😁 “You are most generous!” 😁😁😁😁

And then he notices your slow but sure retreat ☹️

“Are you okay?” voice immediately softening

your relieved sigh = barely stifled 🤫

“Oh,” he blinks, head tilting a fraction, “I was loud!”

“Ouch,” you nod in sheepish agreement

“I apologize! Please! Share your wonderful gift with me to make up for my carelessness!” 

…

…

“I was loud again.” 😅

Sanemi sits cross legged on his engawa, unimpressed by your offering

“I hate chocolate.” 😐

“You’re full of shit.” 🙄

“Just like your chocolate.”

“My chocolate? It’s yours, Shinazugawa Sanemi,” hand on your hip as you huff, chocolates shaking in their box as you hold them out roughly toward him, “I got it for you.”

Raising an eyebrow, he pushes your hand, “I don’t want it.”

“Fuck. You.” ☹️

Scoffing, his eyes roll, “You know I hate chocolate.”

You pout, plopping down beside him, “Hate is a strong word.”

“Eat it yourself.”

“I don’t want to.”

“See! You hate chocolate too, so don’t try pawning it off to me.” 😒

“Shinazufuckinggawa.”

Sanemi finally shifts to face you, mouth smug, knee bumping gentle against the crook of your hip, “Hm, my love?” 😌

Seething, you ignore his advance, “We are eating this chocolate together, and if it kills you, then so be it.”

“Ooh, so this is a we situation now?” he teases fondly, plucking the box from your lap

Crossing your arms, you look away, “You’re insufferable.”

“So insufferable that you bought me chocolate,” he smirks 😇

“Whatever, I’ll keep it,” you grumble, halfheartedly grabbing for the box

“No.” 😐

“No?”

“We’re eating it together, and it certainly won’t kill me.” 🥰

—Bc lover!Sanemi = emotional whiplash central 💀🤍

“What is this for?”

“For you,” you grin

“I figured that part out.” 🤓

Snorting, you tap Muichiro’s shoulder, flicking his chin when he glances down at your movement

“Hey,” he pouts slightly, cheeks tinged pink, “Seriously though: why?”

“Because I adore you.”

“Right.”

“Mhm.” ☺️

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” 😁

You poke his cheek, eyes rolling fondly, “We should eat them now.”

“We? But, they’re for me.”

“Muichiro,” you deadpan

“What?”

“Just trust me.” 😇

His cheeks warming further, he allows you to tug him under the shade of the nearest tree, sweetness soft in his stomach before he’s had a single taste

“You can put that over there,” Giyuu gestures to the nearest corner of the room, not bothering to greet you 

Disappointment curdles in your stomach, stare carefully neutral as you nod, “Okay.”

Your soft sigh as you move away from him does not go unnoticed

“Are you alright?” 😕

Swiveling sharply at the slight edge in his tone, you shake your head, frustration narrowing your eyes

“What’s on your mind?” he asks, gentle now as he approaches your agitated figure

“You’re so dense,” you manage to choke out, tears welling involuntarily

“I’m so…” Giyuu trails off, realization hitting him, “Oh shit.”

—Realization being the train that was just derailed #so punny #the punniest 🤡

“Yeah,” you exhale raggedly, tiny smile tugging at your mouth despite yourself, “Not even a Hello or a Thank you.”

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, lithe body curved protective and apologetic around you before you can even blink, “That was messed up of me.”

“I can leave and come in again, so you can practice,” you chuckle wetly, face buried in his haori, “You clueless man.”

Embrace tightening, he murmurs, “You’re too kind.”

Giggling faintly, you squeeze his hip, other hand still awkwardly clutching the box of chocolate, “I know.”

“Thank you for being patient with me.”

“We better eat them before everyone returns.” 😈

Clucking your tongue at Tengen, you pull another, another, another, and another box of chocolates from your knapsack

“Oh.” 😔

“Tengen-sama, do you look crestfallen?”

“Well, I, hm, I thought we would-”

“Unlike someone, I’m not so selfish to suggest indulging in a pleasure without our wives,” smile unwavering even as you scold him, “Which is why I bought enough for everyone to enjoy their own.” 🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫

“Okay, but! Size wise, I’m large.” 😃

“Which is why I bought you two.”

“You did?!” 😍

“No.” 😐